Travel

Maria Krych

Maria Krych
Warsaw
Poland
Interviewer: Agata Gajewska
Date of interview: October-December 2004

I meet with Maria Krych in her apartment at 26 Pulawska Street. In the war-damaged Warsaw of the 1940s and 1950s this modernist, comfortably furnished building was a real luxury. For this reason it was used for housing higher officials of the communist party. Mrs. Krych moved in there in 1947. Today, the house has lost signs of its past greatness. There’s a multitude of books in Mrs. Krych’s apartment, they’re everywhere. The impressive collection includes a vast number of books in Yiddish – Mrs. Krych has translated several of them into Polish. Literature, translations – that was her way of keeping in touch with Jewish culture, which she wanted to pass on to her daughter.

My mama came from a Hasidic family 1. Her maiden name was Meisels and, as it turns out, this was the family of the famous Rabbi Meisels 2. At first, I didn’t want to believe it, but it has been confirmed to be true. He was some direct relation, probably a great-grandfather. But I don’t know more details about my great-grandparents. None of them were alive during my lifetime. They all came from Lublin and dealt, in one way or another, with trade. I don’t know much about my mother’s parents. Mama’s dad was a very strict Hasid. Mama’s mother kept house.

There were four sisters in the family. The oldest one was called Rywka, then there was Chaja and later Estera. Mama was the youngest. She was born in 1883. Her name was Ajdla – Adela. Rywka and Estera moved to Zamosc [85 km from Lublin], where their husbands were doing business. Chaja stayed in Lublin [Chaja Meisels lived in Lublin, but later she moved to Warsaw with her husband]. They all died during World War II, nobody was left.

Dad’s family were also merchants. Their name was Goldwag. Grandma’s name was Chaja, and Grandpa’s – Dawid. After Grandpa’s death, that is, in the early 1920s, Grandma Chaja moved to our home and was the only one of my grandparents’ generation whom I knew closely.

There were five siblings in that family: four brothers and a sister. My father’s name was Josef and his brothers were Mendel and Jakub. I don’t remember the name of the third one. Dad was born in 1883. They all lived in Lublin. That’s where they died during the liquidation of the ghetto 3.

Mother and Father met in Lublin. I’m sure a matchmaker made the match. It couldn’t have been otherwise at that time. My parents were the same age. When they got married, they were 20-something, maybe 24. They were both religious. They had Jewish education. Dad, of course, went to cheder, but he didn’t go to yeshivah.

They both knew Russian. They attended a Russian school, not a public one, but a Jewish school where they learned Russian. [Editor’s note: There were no schools for girls at the turn of the 19th and 20th century in Lublin, therefore it was not possible for Adela Meisels to have attended one. She probably received an informal education at home]. They didn’t speak Polish at all, although they understood a lot.

When my parents got married, they went to Zamosc. Father got a job there and an apartment, because one of Mama’s sisters, Rywka, married rich. Her husband’s name was Awigdor Inlender. Inlender was one of the richest people in Zamosc. He was a merchant and he had his own trade company. He mostly sold textiles, but not only that. Father worked there for a long period of time in a textile store, but he became independent [that is, opened his own business] shortly before the war.

Father was a talented merchant, very talented. When he started his own business he worked in the wood industry in Zamosc. He was doing quite well for himself. He made good money, but I don’t know exactly how much.

Mother kept house, she didn’t work. She was an excellent housekeeper. At some point she taught herself how to sew and bought a sewing machine. She sewed for the entire closer and more distant family. But she didn’t get any money for that.

Four children were born shortly afterwards, so she had her hands full. The oldest son was born in 1909. His name was Bernard. It was a Polonized name. Of course, he had a Jewish name on his birth certificate, it was Dow, Dow-Ber [cf. Polonization of Jewish first and last names] 4. The second son was called Izrael. After the war he changed it to Jerzy. He was born in 1910. The youngest one, Michal, was born in 1914. I was born in 1913. They named me Perla.

My parents’ apartment was on 3-go Maja Street. It was one of the main streets of Zamosc and it had cobblestones. That was my childhood home. I was born there and I lived there until the war broke out. As I mentioned, the building belonged to my Mama’s sister Rywka. My aunt rented out the apartments there – there were about 50 of them. Aunt Rywka lived there as well. They had a beautiful apartment. When Mama’s second sister, Estera, got married she also started living in the same tenement house.

We lived on the second floor. There were three rooms in the apartment. My parents, of course, had a room, the boys had a room and I had a room. For those times, those were rather good conditions. The house was pretty well furnished. There was no heating, but there was running water. When I went to Zamosc after the war with my brother and sister-in-law the house was still there.

We were very close with the family, especially Mama. She mostly kept in touch with that rich sister, Rywka, and with Estera. We often met up in each other’s apartments. The contacts were very frequent. Most often we’d meet at Aunt Rywka’s, because she had a large apartment and she loved inviting friends and family over. The entire close family gathered at Aunt Rywka’s for the holidays.

On holidays, on Saturdays and Sundays, my parents often went to the park for walks. They rarely went to the theater. They wouldn’t go to restaurants either. They sometimes left town. There was a so-called ‘bypass’ in Zamosc… It was a road going around the city, where the entire town went for walks on Saturdays and Sundays. You’d walk on foot along the road. It was a very pleasant walk. And the park was beautiful. We had a biology teacher at our gymnasium whose name was Miller. He was the one who organized that park. He set up a small zoo there and took care of the animals.

Dad used to read books, although it’s hard for me to say which books. He used to read Moment 5 and Haint 6, those were liberal Jewish newspapers. I can’t recall which political party he sympathized with. He was quite distant from Agudat 7, but he was also not close to Bund 8. He was a liberal man. Mother didn’t use to read newspapers. 

There were quite a few wealthy Jews in Zamosc. Jews who could afford living in nice buildings, downtown. But there were also districts of poor Jews. One was called Nowe Miasto [New Town]. But there were contacts between these groups. You’d often go to these poor districts. Anyway, friends from school lived there. Each Thursday the wealthier Jews would give out alms in front of the synagogue. All the poor Jews came there for help. It was horrible!

A very poor shoemaker lived in the same house we were living in. His wife had died. He only had a daughter, who was in a teachers’ training college, she was studying. Everyone hoped she would support the family. And that’s what happened indeed.

But the poorest Jews were living in nearby towns. For example in Izbica – a town full of mud. As if it had been forgotten by God and by people! During World War II all Jews from Zamosc were taken to Izbica and later deported to Treblinka. [Editor’s note: Mrs. Krych is confusing two towns. She is referring to Izbica Lubelska, where a transitory ghetto was organized in 1942 for Jews from the Lublin ghetto]

There was one synagogue in Zamosc. There were also meetings for prayers [minyan] at houses and people often met in rooms; when ten men met, they could recite prayers. But Father went to this city prayer house. It was a very beautiful building [a brick structure, erected in 1610-1618, operating until WWII. During the war the Germans opened a carpentry plant inside, therefore destroying the interior; renovated in the 1960s, currently serves as a library]. I think a library was organized there during the war.

The main goal for one of my cousins who lives in Israel [Yoram Golan, previously Goldwag, grandson of Chawa Meisels – Mrs. Krych’s aunt – and Mosze Dawid Goldwag, Mrs. Krych’s father’s brother] is to have the prayer house returned to the Jewish community. They promised him they’d do it. But I don’t know if he will be successful… I don’t know.

We celebrated all the Jewish holidays at our home, Sabbath and Havdalah, candles were lit. Mother went to the synagogue only on high holidays. Sometimes she’d take me with her. I especially liked Yom Kippur and New Year’s. They’re completely different holidays than Pesach or Channukah. They were very solemn. Those were true Jewish holidays. Jews celebrated them in a very warm-hearted manner…

Did I like going to the synagogue? No. I went, because my mother made me do it, but I wasn’t keen on it. I stopped going to the synagogue when I was in the higher grades of gymnasium [at the age of 16-17]. Even my parents didn’t insist on it, didn’t remind me… We didn’t discuss this at home, why I didn’t go. By that time the boys also stopped going to the synagogue with Father. Those were different times…

There was a Jewish elementary school in Zamosc. I attended that school from age seven to age ten. The principal was a very progressive man. His name was Weiner. He wasn’t closely connected with Jewish life and that’s how he raised children. And that was the school they sent me to.

The language the classes were taught in was Hebrew [it was probably a Tarbut school, with lectures in Hebrew]. All subjects were taught there, even science and geography. Polish was also taught there; that’s why I say he [Weiner] was a very progressive man. [Editor’s note: Polish was a compulsory subject in all ethnic minority school in interwar Poland]. I also learned it by myself. That’s why when I started attending a Polish gymnasium I could speak, read and write in Polish. I had to know Polish, because everything took place in Polish in secondary school.

I also spoke Polish with my brothers at home. Children, friends, all spoke Polish among themselves. I liked the Polish language. It’s a very beautiful language. I like Polish literature, I like it a lot. I used to read Mickiewicz 9 and Sienkiewicz [Henryk (1846-1916): Polish journalist, novelist and short story writer from the turn of the 19th and 20th centuries, Nobel Prize laureate in 1905]. But I especially liked Mickiewicz.

When I was ten years old I went to a Polish gymnasium. It was a public gymnasium, there were no others then. A Jewish gymnasium was set up later, but I was already used to the Polish one. All my brothers also graduated from that Polish school.

I remember our headmistress, a very, very nice and valuable woman. Her name was Madler and she taught biology - the school was very strong in this subject. She was single; her husband had died during World War I. They later moved her from Zamosc to Bialystok and that’s where Germans arrested her and sent her to Auschwitz. Perhaps because she was a teacher and a headmistress, perhaps she did something else, I don’t know. [Editor’s note: During the occupation the Germans murdered many Polish state officials and members of the intelligentsia according to previously created proscription lists.]

Anyway, her sister-in-law, also a Mrs. Madler, was my homeroom teacher, but she was a very unpleasant woman – an anti-Semite. She treated Jewish children in a different way than Polish children. She always addressed Polish children with their first names and Jewish children with their last names. She was not pleasant. You could see that she was not a good person. This homeroom teacher was definitely an anti-Semite. I couldn’t say that about any other teachers.

Jewish children were mostly friends among themselves and Polish children were friends among themselves. There were four Jewish girls in the class and they sat together, separately from the rest. But I didn’t have real problems with manifestations of anti-Semitism at school.

Although there usually were no close contacts between Poles and Jews in Zamosc, I had Polish friends. They knew very well that I was Jewish. After all, I had a Jewish first and last name. They had different attitudes towards me.

I had this one friend, her last name was Banachiewicz and her first name was Mira. Mira is an old Slavic name. She told me how her father searched the calendar for a Slavic sounding name and he finally found one. At first they lived in Warsaw, but when her father died, the mother took the children to Zamosc, because she had wealthy parents there. They were very well off.

There was no anti-Semitism in that house, absolutely none. She was friends with me and with other Jewish girls. We often visited each other at our houses. It often happened that Mira stayed with us for Sabbath or one of the other holidays. I usually didn’t visit them for Christian holidays. They used to invite their entire families then, not us.

Mira also told me about her grandmother, how she told Polish children, when they were unfriendly towards Jewish children on the street, not to do it, because there is one God and he is the same for everyone. It was a very decent family. I was friends with Mira for a long time even after the war. We used to visit each other. She died a few years ago.

During our gymnasium years, we went for a vacation each year. We’d go for the entire summer holidays, that is, for three months. We would go to Krasnobrod, Jozefow and other towns nearby Zamosc. Father would always rent a summer house for us there. Those were holidays in the countryside. We would go for walks, in the forest... like children on vacation. But we only went with Mom. Dad stayed in Zamosc and worked. He only came to join us on Sundays.

We had a very good childhood. My oldest brother was accepted at the Medical Academy in Warsaw. Jerzy – also in Warsaw – studied law. The family gave them money for as long as they could. But still, accommodation in Warsaw was very expensive, so they weren’t doing too well for themselves. But Bernard managed to graduate. The material conditions at our house were not bad until the boys got arrested.

My brother Jerzy was a communist. Michal was one, too. Only the oldest one, Bernard, was not. He didn’t belong to any other party either. When Michal and Jerzy started going to some meetings, rallies, my parents were not very pleased. My parents suffered a lot because of my brothers’ involvement in the communist movement.

Jerzy was studying at the Faculty of Law at Warsaw University, but when he was in his 4th year, two months before graduation, he was arrested for communist activities. [Editor’s note: Due to its anti-state character, communist activity was considered illegal in interwar Poland and active members of the communist movement were thrown into prison.] He spent four years in jail [probably between 1931 and 1934].

My parents hired a lawyer for him and very intense efforts were made to shorten his sentence. He didn’t stay in the Zamosc jail for long; they took him to a prison in Drohobycz. It wasn’t a very bad prison [that is, it was a low-security prison].

Later, in 1932, they arrested my younger brother, Michal. He was 18 years old then. He was a very talented boy. Michal didn’t manage to study anything, because he had just graduated from gymnasium and then he disappeared. [Editor’s note: Immediately after graduation from secondary school Michal Goldwag was accused of communist activity and convicted with a court sentence]. At first, in the first level court, he got five years.

Father didn’t have money to save him, because it had all gone to save Jerzy, so there was no help for Michal. But an appeal was submitted and, because he was young, he was 18, the appeal court shortened his sentence to two years. He spent the two years in Wronki. It was a very hard prison. When all those jail stories started, the material situation of the family really got worse.

At that time [1931] I passed the public secondary school final exam. I was 19 years old. I had various interests then. I used to read Russian literature. Because although Russian was not taught at school, I learned it from books and handbooks. I also took French at school – my parents made sure I did. I also had Latin at school. And it was my favorite language. I was really interested in history and ancient culture. I wanted to be a teacher.

I tried applying to the Faculty of Classical Philology in Warsaw. This was in 1931. I prepared, but I didn’t do well at the [entrance] exam and I didn’t get in. So I went back to Zamosc.

Sometime later Mother got me a job. I worked as a book-keeper at my Uncle Inlender’s, Aunt Rywka’s husband. He had a textile warehouse then. I didn’t like that job. They really took advantage of me. I was overwhelmed with the atmosphere there, it was so bourgeois! You could see they only cared about the company’s profit.

Of course, communism was very important for me. Some time in the 1930s I went to a meeting of the KPP 10 in Zamosc. Some friends of mine took me there. That’s what the environment was like – my brothers were in the Party, so were girl-friends, and other friends. There were Jews and Poles there. You’d somehow let them influence you and start participating in what your acquaintances were doing.

I received my membership card even before the war broke out. I was a regular member of the KPP. I didn’t hold any positions of very important functions. I had two brothers in jail, and so I was more or less aware of what kind of danger was associated with belonging to the communist party, but I didn’t get into the kind of trouble my brothers did. I was still young and everything was just starting out. I didn’t spend much time on party activities in Zamosc. Later, in Warsaw, it was a lot more.

I went to Warsaw in 1935. I had an aunt there and I stayed with her. Her husband was my father’s brother. Their name was Goldwag as well. Uncle’s name was Mendel and Aunt’s name was Chajka. They lived on Gesia Street. It was in a Jewish district. There were two rooms there and this one tiny little room. I paid them some money, not much, from what I had saved in Zamosc. I lived there, in that tiny room. Their children – two girls and a boy – lived with their parents in the second room. They were very poor. They didn’t have jobs and had a hard time supporting those children.

When the war broke out, Aunt didn’t know what to do with the kids. Uncle Mendel was in America at that time, visiting a brother who was doing well and had sent for Uncle to get him educated there. So Aunt wrote to my brother Bernard in Lublin - he was a doctor there - asking if he could do something for the girls. He sent for them and employed them in his hospital. But what kind of a job was that? Not much.

It all ended when the war broke out [the Great Patriotic War] 11. The girls died immediately, in the summer of 1941. Bernard’s entire family, who were in the ghetto, died, too. [Editor’s note: Mrs. Krych’s brother, Bernard Goldwag, died with his family during the liquidation of the Lublin ghetto; only the son, Chil Goldwag, survived from Chawa and Mendel Goldwag’s family.]

I didn’t work for the first two years of my stay in Warsaw. I occasionally swept up the snow in the winter. I looked for work and couldn’t find anything. I lived from my savings in Zamosc. My family helped me a bit. I suffered like this for two years and then, in the third year, I got a good job. A friend of mine, also from Zamosc, worked in a printing house and arranged with her boss a job for me.

At first I was supposed to help his two sons with schoolwork – they were such rascals, it was horrible, they were spoiled rotten! But after some time this boss started liking me, he felt he could trust me. He offered me a job in his office, he employed me in the printing house for 80 zloty per month plus lunches [by way of comparison: an average teacher’s salary in the 1930s was approx. 120 zloty, an office worker’s salary – 200 zloty, a tram driver’s – 600 zloty]. I was also supposed to keep taking care of those boys. And that’s when I started doing well. That was a good wage. I could support myself, and support myself well.

I worked there, starting in 1937, for two years, until the war broke out 12. The war caught me and my younger brother in Warsaw [Michal, after serving his term in jail, moved to Warsaw and was involved in KPP activity while doing odd jobs for a living]. Michal volunteered for defending Warsaw and died immediately, in unclear circumstances. He was 25 years old.

I only got home after Warsaw surrendered, several weeks later. I went on foot to Zamosc, to my parents [approx. 230 km]. I left Warsaw with a group of friends. But we later split up, because they wanted to go east. [Editor’s note: When the Soviet army entered the eastern part of Poland on 17th September 1939, some residents moved into Soviet occupied territory in an attempt to escape German persecution.] I kept saying that I have to go home and I walked alone. It took me several days.

When I reached Zamosc, I didn’t find any family members there. They had all run away from the Germans and had gone to Lwow. So I followed them to Lwow. That’s where I stayed with my parents, my brother Jerzy and my sister-in-law, whom he had recently married. Bernard was a physician in Lublin at that time.

My sister-in-law’s name was Eleonora. That was the name on her birth certificate. Her family also came from Zamosc. Eleonora was a communist activist. This sister-in-law was raised by the sister of Isaac Leib Peretz 13, who was like a grandmother to her [Eleonora Epstein’s real grandmother died young. A friend of the family – I.L. Peretz’s sister – Mrs. Goldsztajn took over that role.]

I can’t say much about that family, but this grandmother was an exceptional woman. When the Jewish militiamen [policemen, forces created by the German authorities, consisting of Jewish residents] came to get her to deport her to a death camp [probably the camp in Belzec], she didn’t go with them. She simply told them she wouldn’t go. So they shot her right away.

She had two sons. One was in the Soviet Union, and that’s where he died, and the second one was here, in Poland. He was an engineer. He had two daughters. Their mother was a doctor. Two charming girls. They were living next to us in Zamosc. Both were captured by those Jewish traitors, when their mother and father were not at home. And they both died.

My sister-in-law’s brother was a real hero. His first name was Jozef, last name Epstein 14. He wrote a book [Les Fils de la Nuit, Paris, Grasset, 1982]. He was a wonderful man. He was very smart and very brave. He belonged to the communist movement before the war. His father somehow managed that he got away with it, didn’t go to jail, but he sent him to Czech lands. Jozef went through Bohemia to Spain, where he fought in the civil war 15.

Later he moved to Paris and was in the French opposition. He became the vice-commander of Paris. That was a rather high position. But they arrested him. He had a trial, along with twenty-something other communists from various countries, mostly Jews. They were all sentenced to death.

In Lwow, there was, of course, a Jewish district. [In fact, since 1867 there was no formal Jewish district in Lwow. Most Jews, however, lived within the same area, not far from the city hall.] But when we came from Zamosc [in 1939] there was no ghetto yet  16. We couldn’t rent an apartment, but the Jewish community organized some kind of accommodation for us. We lived at somebody’s place, many families together. The conditions were horrible.

My brother Jerzy and I, we worked. My parents didn’t work, naturally. First I worked as a cashier in some institution; I can’t remember what institution it was. Later I took a teacher’s course and started working. I went to a village and worked in a Ukrainian school until the Germans attacked Lwow 17. Then I returned to my parents, to Lwow.

When the Germans marched in, men, especially those in danger of being arrested for communist activity, escaped to the Soviet Union. Jerzy also left Lwow on foot and was soon in the Soviet Union.

I lived with my parents at first. Later, when it was dangerous and they were looking for me because of my communist activities, I moved to my aunt Ester’s, my mom’s sister, who escaped with us from Zamosc to Lwow. Ester’s family consisted of four people, I was the fifth one, and there were also two men, who paid rent. The apartment was small. Everything looked very, very poor.

One day some people came over. It turned out it was the commanding officer of the Jewish militia [police]. They had an arrest warrant for me for communist activity. But they couldn’t find me. It happened during the time [Fall 1941] when a German order came out that Jews have to give away all furs - fur collars, mittens, coats... and my parents, like all Jews, had to give them up.

So, when the police came for me, my sister-in-law came forward instead of me. She said she’d manage better than me. She told the police that the warrant was because of a fur. The kept my sister-in-law in jail for several hours, and we didn’t know what was going on with her. Finally I told my father I didn’t like it, and that I had to go to the militia [police] to find her. But in the meantime they realized they mistook my sister-in-law for me. They said that if I don’t come forward, they’ll keep my sister-in-law and my parents. My father tried to stop me, but he couldn’t, and I went there immediately.

They let my sister-in-law go, and arrested me. They arrested me, because they found documents saying I was a member of the communist party when I worked as a teacher in some village near Lwow. When I was arrested, it was the second half of 1941. It was the early period of the German occupation, and it was still possible to arrange things in exchange for money. So my family bought me out. I remained under Gestapo supervision and had to go there every week.

Not much later, however, an order of a higher instance came out, sending people like me [accused of communist activity and under Gestapo supervision] to Auschwitz. And that Jewish militiaman [policeman], who had arrested me earlier, told my parents about it. Jewish militiamen usually didn’t help people who were in danger. It’s not true that they helped! But it somehow happened that this militiaman had a friend from the same city, who was my sister-in-law’s aunt, and she put in a good word for me.

He spoke to the militia [police] commanding officer, and he agreed to let me go for a golden watch. He got the golden watch, but because they ordered to have me deported to Auschwitz, I disappeared from home. But I assured them, that if they arrested my family, as they said, I would come forward - like I did when they took my sister-in-law. Tension lasted three days, but they left my family alone.

In Lwow I stayed with comrades, Polish, and later they helped me go to Warsaw, to the ghetto 18. Where else could I go but to the Warsaw ghetto? I had no one anywhere else. Those who helped me had contacts in Warsaw. I had contacts thanks to them and they somehow fixed me up.

I went there by train. It was at the turn of 1941 and 1942. I had no documents, but no one asked who I was and where I was going. I went to the ghetto, to Aunt Chajka. I stayed there, in the same apartment I had lived in during my first stay in Warsaw, on Gesia Street. I stayed in the ghetto until July 1942. Then the huge liquidation action of hundreds of Jews started in Warsaw 19.

Then my eldest brother, who was a doctor in Lublin, said, that, allegedly, I got a job at an estate in some village. He wrote to me and asked me to come. I didn’t sneak out of the ghetto – I just left. It somehow happened that they didn’t stop me. I was stopped later by ‘szmalcowniks’ 20 and they took everything I had. I had 1,000 zloty, which was enough to support me for a few months, and which my brother somehow managed to get. Someone owed him this money and he asked them to give it to me. They left me only with a little money, 20 zloty, to cover the trip… I bought a ticket and went to that village.

But nothing came out of that. My brother Bernard, he tried his best. He wrote to me that he had spoken to some manager of an estate close to Lublin, and that he’d hire me. So I went there, and when I arrived, that manager proposed that I live with him, and he’d take care of me. When I told him that was out of the question, he threw me out immediately. And that was it.

But there were some Jewish boys at that estate, who had escaped from nearby towns and villages. They worked at this estate, picking hop. And I joined them. They were mainly Jewish boys, and I was the only woman. Those boys were very, very well-mannered. I got no such propositions from them like I did from that manager.

We worked there for a couple of months. They didn’t pay us, of course, only gave us food…And then, in the fall, when there was nothing more to do there, the boys went back to the nearby villages. They came from there and had friends there. They were hiding in forests, because we kept hearing news about planned liquidation actions of Jews in the region. So I stayed in that estate by myself.

Only one of those boys stayed. He told me that there was a very nice navy-blue policeman 21 there in the area, who was looking for a maid - of course the best one would be Jewish, since he wouldn’t have to pay her - and that I should go to that policeman’s house. I did that. They accepted me and I stayed there for a few months, till next fall.

That Polish policeman’s last name was Kaminski. They were decent people, helped others. They took care of the needy. If someone came by, they always gave them food or some old clothing. They never gave money, of course, but they gave food. They shared whatever they were eating.

That lasted until the great frosts in 1942. I think it was in the fall, in November, when my boss, the policeman, went to work and immediately came back. He said there is an order that all Jews have to go to the square in that city at 11 o’clock and that means the liquidation of all the Jews. So it meant I had to disappear… and I disappeared.

Later, after the war, when I felt sure and safe, I went back to that village. I found the wife of that policeman and told her that I owe my life to her husband. And so, if he ever were in some trouble, he could always contact me. I left my address and name. But nobody ever contacted me. He had his own life. He was a policeman and that was the essence of his life – to track down thieves and that’s it. He never came back to me on my offer. And I never saw them again.

I picked my things and went to Lublin on foot, which was some 18 kilometers. I had my eldest brother there, Bernard. I stayed with him for a few weeks, until the liquidation of the Lublin ghetto, when the deportations started. [Editor’s note: The interviewee most likely means the liquidation of the so-called ghetto B after the main ghetto in Lublin was liquidated. Ghetto B was occupied mainly by Jews working for Germans, and by Jewish doctors. The Jews who lived there were not taken during the liquidation action in 1942 to the extermination camp in Belzec, but moved to the forced labor camp in so-called Majdan Tatarski.].

My brother had some sort of a way to hide there, but only for himself and his wife. I had to take care of myself. I contacted a communist party cell in Lublin. Those were the contacts already made during the war. The party helped me obtain false documents. They were changing names of their people then. My first and last name, Perla Goldwag, was changed to Maria Kowalewska. And it stayed this way. After the war people usually kept the names from the occupation. It changed a bit later, but until today there are people who have those names. I changed my last name one more time, when I got married.

I had to go my own way. I went to Warsaw, where I had comrades from before the war. And they somehow helped. They directed me to one lady who hired me as a maid. I got this address from my friend, Janina Psiserowa, who I worked with in the printing house before the war, taking care of the manager’s children. She was Polish, a very decent person. Once I sent two Jewish women who looked Semitic to her, and she helped them. And later I went to her myself. But she couldn’t help me herself then. She had a mother-in-law who knew everything about it and who said there is no way she should still be helping Jews.

So Janina wrote a letter to one family. She lied that I lost my documents, was waiting for the new ones and needed a job. I did laundry, washed floors, I did everything there, but without any pay. I never got any money. But I didn’t work there for long.

It was a very anti-Semitic family. They were a married couple with two  young children and an old mother who used to visit them. Every evening they used to start conversations about the liquidation of Jews and making soap out of Jewish fat [reference to rumors concerning the production of different chemicals from human fat obtained from the bodies of the victims of death camps]. They liked it a lot. They didn’t know I was Jewish. They were surprised that ‘You’re not laughing? You don’t find it funny?’ and so on. I couldn’t take it any more. One Saturday I left the house with no documents, no money, nothing. That was late fall [1943].

I left. I had friends, printers, from the time I worked at the printing house before the war. One of them, a Pole, used to take care of me and was helping me until I worked in Warsaw before the war, and even later, during the war, he kept helping me kindly. During my previous stay in Warsaw I even slept at his place once. So I went to him, I knew his address, but this time he didn’t welcome me. He just didn’t. He said he’s going to another room and sent his wife to talk to me and this wife kicked me out.

Then another printer helped me a lot. His name was Smolenski. We had a very close relationship even before the war. When I left Lwow and went to work as a teacher in a village, the money I was getting I used to divide into three parts – one for my parents, one for me and one for him. He had been seriously wounded during the September Campaign 22 and he needed help. Now he could repay his debt.

So after some time of wandering about Warsaw, I went to the partisan forces and that was it. I joined a unit in the forests near Deblin. I remember that we slept in holes dug in the ground. When it comes to food, some of it was bought, because the partisans had some money. Most of the partisans came from that area, so it was easy for them to get and buy something.

Every once in a while we organized various combat actions. I never took a direct part in them, but helped the partisans any way I could. They were a mix: there were Jews, Russians, and Poles.

After a while the Russians went to a different forest, and they wrote to me that they wished I had come with them, because they could use me. But I wasn’t able to go with them because I had horrible ulcers all over my body. My daughter still has that letter from those Russians.

I worked like that until 1944. In 1944 the war ended in those areas. [Editor’s note: On 3rd January 1944 the Red Army crossed the pre-war boundaries of the Republic of Poland and placed pro-Moscow local government in Lublin]. We returned to Lublin, where life was going back to normal. There was one partisan there, a Pole. His name was Miroslaw Krajewski. He was a communist. We had known each other for over a year then. He helped me a lot then.

This comrade Krajewski, when our group came to Lublin, took care of me and took me to Gomulka 23. And Gomulka hired me. Miroslaw was shortly after that killed by Russians, maybe out of jealousy or something… he died horribly, I don’t want to talk about it.

I worked as Gomulka’s assistant. I was his secretary. I did everything that needed to be done at the moment – wrote down meetings’ proceedings, that kind of thing. Initially I was the only person in the secretariat. Then it changed.

They also gave me housing. There was a house where our people lived – I got a room there. Those were hot times. The workday wasn’t regulated. It used to happen that I worked nights.

The cooperation with Gomulka was working out very well. Gomulka was a very kind man. He was, however, edgy at times and acted on it. I used to meet the entire Political Office, the entire Central Committee in Lublin. [Editor’s note: Mrs. Krych means departments of the temporary communist government - Polish Committee of National Liberation]. Everyone was there, of course. But there was no time for social life. Those were different times.

News about the family was coming in slowly. I knew Mother died in 1941. [Mrs. Krych doesn’t remember how she learned about that]. They were taking all Jews out of their houses. They were announcing that all Jews must come forward, and if not… you know what. No one knows where they took Mother. We could speculate, because they used to take people from Lwow to Belzec. But it’s just speculations, no one knows for sure.

They didn’t catch Dad because he went to work and he wasn’t home. I don’t remember who told me about Mom’s deportation. My sister-in-law was living then, Father was alive. I used to get some news from them. For some time I would get letters from the family in Lwow when I was in Warsaw.

Later there was the final liquidation action. [The Great Action in Lwow ghetto took place from 10th September to 23rd September 1942.] They took everyone. My sister-in-law went to the meeting place. She had a three-year-old boy then, his name was Lucjan. When she was on a train, she wrapped him in a pillow, threw him out of the window and jumped out herself. Many women did that. But, after she had jumped and was looking for her little boy, he wasn’t there. She never found him. It so unfortunately happened to her! She herself survived. I think the communist partisans helped her.

We never heard of how and when our father died, and until this day we don’t know what happened to him. Bernard, who was a doctor, was killed. He died in Majdanek 24 during that great massacre in February 1943. [Editor’s note: The interviewee is actually referring  to the so-called “Aktion Erntefest.” On 3rd November 1943 about 18,000 Jews from various concentration camps around Lublin were moved and killed in the concentration camp in Majdanek. This was the largest mass execution of all of the extermination camps.]

I was hearing news about the Holocaust rather slowly. When in July 1942 they started taking Jews to Treblinka 25, initially nobody in Lwow knew about it. [Editor’s note: Jews from Warsaw were taken to Treblinka, Jews from Lwow, like from Lublin, were taken to the camp in Belzec]. The Germans said those who came forward voluntarily would get 1 kilogram of bread and jam, but obviously that turned out to be a lie. Finally, when one boy escaped from there, he told us what was going on there. Everyone found out from him. I didn’t believe him at first, but in the end everyone knew what was going on.

There was also news about various pogroms in Poland, during the war and after the war. Now there is a lot of talk about Jedwabne 26, but there were more stories like that. During the war, I remember, naturally, the Kielce Pogrom 27. Kielce – that was a provocation, horrible provocation. First they accused Jews that they had murdered some Christian child to make matzah. [That was referring to a Christian superstition about Jews murdering Christian children for ritual or medical reasons.] And then it turned out that child went back to his parents and had been at his uncle’s. [According to Mrs. Krych the provocation against Jews living in Kielce was an accusation made by Poles living in Kielce that Jews kidnapped the boy. When she talks about the provocation, she does not mean what many Polish historians believe to be true that the provocation was made by the communist government]. Of course, people heard of those things and couldn’t be unaffected by them.

Out of my family only my brother Izrael survived the war. After the Germans entered Lwow, many young communists escaped to the Soviet Union. Along with his comrades, my brother went somewhere far, far north. He tried to join Polish units following the Red Army [Kosciuszko Infantry Division] 28 and in this way return to Poland. But it wasn’t easy for Jews and they didn’t accept him. [Editor’s note: The number of Jews in the 1st Division was limited in order to maintain the ‘Polish character’ of the division. In order to join the army Jews had to change their last names to Polish ones.] So he stayed in the Soviet Union and worked somewhere far north.

I helped him come back. I think it was in the year 1945. Since I worked directly for Gomulka, I asked whether I could add my request to find my brother to correspondence of the Union of Polish Patriots, in short ZPP 29. I immediately received an answer saying he was alive. Through the ZPP I found out his address and that’s how I got him to come back to Warsaw.

After the war Izrael changed his name to Jerzy and took the same last name as mine – Kowalewski. He started to work. He was a reporter. He was a political commentator. At the end he worked for a longer time for Trybuna Ludu [official media publication of the Central Committee of the Polish United Workers’ Party, newspaper with the highest circulation in the Polish People’s Republic]. He died a few months ago [2004].

I stayed in Lublin until the liberation of Warsaw. [Editor’s note: On 17th January 1945 the Red Army along with the 1st Division entered Warsaw, which had been destroyed by the Germans and abandoned by both Germans and civilians] Later the entire government went to the capital city. I continued to work for Gomulka for some time.

At the end of 1945 I was moved to a different job. It was also a job for the KC [Central Committee] office. It was the so-called General Department of the Central Committee – administration and so forth. It lasted for quite a long time. I worked there until the 1960s.

After some time I met my husband. His name was Henryk Krych, he was Polish. He also worked for the KC. He worked in the personnel department. He was born in 1914. He was sent to work in Germany during the war. He worked for a ‘Bauer’ [German: farmer] near Gorzow. [Editor’s note: During the war Poles were sent to Germany for forced labor in German plants and on farms.]

I don’t remember the date when we got married. We formalized our relationship in 1947, but we had been living together earlier. After a short time, in 1947, we moved to the apartment at 26 Pulawska Street, because that was the house for party officials. It’s a beautiful building built before the war.

Our son was born in 1948. He was called Michal, like my younger brother who died in the Warsaw Uprising 30. Our daughter was born in 1951. Her name is Malgorzata. But it wasn’t a good marriage. We lived together for over ten years, but things weren’t working out. This marriage was one big mistake. My husband didn’t get along with my son at all. We had to split up. We got a formal divorce [in 1964].

I raised the kids by myself. Later we kept in touch, yes, he used to come… but we weren’t close any more. He belonged to the Party almost until he died. A few years before PZPR 31 was dissolved, he got sick and retired. He’s dead now. When did he die? I don’t remember [1990].

When the state of Israel was founded 32 we were all very happy. We thought a new chapter in history was opening. A lot of people chose to emigrate. I was tied to Poland, to all things Polish, and wasn’t thinking about emigrating. Later my daughter wanted all of us to leave. But my son didn’t want to. I couldn’t leave him alone. He hadn’t begun college yet and he wasn’t working.

That ‘Jewish note’ remained in my daughter. Not in my son. He was a boy scout [during the communist period, the ideology of the scouting movement did not emphasize ethnic identity]. We used to talk about Jews, what it means to be Jewish, Judaism, but he had a different approach. He has got a university degree in mathematics and is working at the Faculty of Mathematics at Warsaw University down to the present day.

Malgorzata has always felt Jewish. Everything Jewish she considered nice and valuable. But back then there weren’t very many opportunities to take part in Jewish life. Her friends were mostly Polish. She liked to read and used to read anything she could find about Jews. Even here, before she left the country, she started taking Hebrew at the university. I was teaching her Jewish [Yiddish] a bit then. Until today she buys and reads a lot of Jewish books.

My daughter has always been offended by anti-Semitism although she never experienced it herself. She went to school where there was no anti-Semitism. After she graduated from university – she was 33 years old then – one of her friends from the United States let her know that her boss was looking for someone from Poland to work for him. And she went there. She’s been working there since [Dr. Malgorzata Krych is a researcher at the Washington University School of Medicine]. She left in 1984. She met her husband in America. She’s very close with him. Her husband is a practicing Jew and they celebrate some of the Jewish holidays.

In the 1960s I began translating Yiddish literature. It was like this: a friend, a Jew [Rozka Lampe, the wife of the well-known communist activist Alfred Lampe] lived next door, and she was assigned to translate ‘Historia Bundu’ – ‘The History of Bund’ [Editor’s note: a book published by the internal KC PZPR publisher, it wasn’t possible to establish the bibliographic details]. Together we translated three volumes. It was a collective work written by members of Bund. I did this still during my work for the KC. I was earning extra money this way, because I wanted to buy a second apartment.

Somehow we finished that translating job. Later, in the 1960s, I left the KC. And when we finished ‘The History of Bund’ I wrote to an editor of Dolnoslaskie Publishing House, asking if I could do some translating for them. I had to send him a sample of my work. He agreed and I started working for them.

I translated ‘Di mishpoche Karnovski’[‘The Karnowski Family’] by Israel Singer 33 and later a few books written during the uprising in the ghetto, including works by Cywia Lubetkin [1914-1978, an activist of the youth organization ‘Dror’ in the Warsaw ghetto, a soldier during the ghetto uprising in 1943 and during the Warsaw Uprising in 1944, after the war the founder of the ‘Fighters of the Ghetto’ kibbutz in Israel], ‘Zaglada i Powstanie’ (‘Extermination and Uprising’), and Elie Wiesel 34.

After some time the JHI [Jewish Historical Institute in Warsaw] 35 asked me to translate ‘Di Brider Ashkenazi’ [‘The Brothers Ashkenazi,’ a novel by I. J. Singer, considered to be his greatest work]. That was a rather big book. I translated it and they published it. Israel Joshua Singer – that’s definitely my favorite author. Not Isaac Singer 36, but his brother. He is closer to me, since he deals with social issues.

For example, his book ‘Towarzysz Nachman’ [‘Towarzysz Nachman’ is the title of the Polish translation, the book is known to the English reader as ‘East of Eden,’ original Yiddish title: ‘Khaver Nakhman’]. That’s a novel, a large novel. He, sometime in the 1930s, predicted what would happen – what would happen to communism, he predicted it all. [The book describes the life of a communist activist, Nakhman, prosecuted by the Polish government, who escapes to the Soviet Union believing that the vision of a communist country came true there].

I belonged to the Party until the PZPR was dissolved. Today I don’t consider myself a communist. The ideology was good at the beginning, moved a lot of people, young and old. At first I believed everything was heading in the right direction. I wasn’t the only one to believe that. I thought there would be no more anti-Semitism, that equal rights, brotherhood would prevail. A lot of young people thought that…

I had this belief for quite some time, until they started turning away from the ideology [their deeds did not correspond with the ideology they proclaimed]. First of all, there were those events where workers were going out on streets and dying. [Mrs. Krych most likely means events in December 1970 when by the order of the communist government workers who went on strike were shot at]. A lot of them died. Then I started thinking how it was. After all that I couldn’t believe in communism any more.

What affected me the most? Mainly getting rid of the communists – those best, most devoted. That affected me a lot. The entire leadership of the early 1940s and 1950s, those were very devoted communists, ideologists. It’s a great pity they were removed [from the government].

Turning away from the ideology happened progressively. It’s hard to tell, but it was happening somehow slowly, naturally. The process began already during the war. People somehow stopped believing, were losing their faith. The March events 37 were a surprise, naturally. Gomulka was a huge authority to me, no doubt. I didn’t use to think he could take part in such events. We all suffered a lot, of course, and we all condemned it.

There is no communism today. I’m wondering, will it stay this way? One communist reporter wrote after all those events, that it won’t stay this way, that communism won’t go away without any trace… But is it possible that what used to be could come back? No, I don’t think so.

I feel a very strong connection with Judaism. My parents were Jews through and through. I never denied I was Jewish. Never. I learned something because I am Jewish. I know the history of Jews, I know all those horrible events, and I’m not indifferent to it. I was never indifferent.

I didn’t cut off contacts with the culture after the war. But everything was happening in Polish then. At home, or among friends, we never talked in any other language but Polish. I had Jewish friends, but they weren’t the majority. There were some [Jewish friends] and some [Polish friends].

I kept in touch with Jewish culture through literature. I also belonged to a veterans’ organization [Association of Jewish War Veterans and Victims of Persecutions during WWII] 38, but now there’s nothing in me left to give, and I don’t belong to any organization. Same with Jewish magazines. I used to subscribe to Midrasz [Jewish social-cultural magazine published since 1977] and Slowo Zydowskie [Polish for ‘Jewish Word,’ Jewish bi-weekly magazine published in Polish and Yiddish, first published in 1947 as Folkssztyme] since they started coming out.

I used to read and keep reading, but it’s not the same reading any more… I used to go to various meetings and shows in the Jewish theater. Now I don’t attend any of those anymore, because I’m not able to… There’s no way, I’m not strong enough.

Glossary

1 Hasidism (Hasidic)

Jewish mystic movement founded in the 18th century that reacted against Talmudic learning and maintained that God's presence was in all of one's surroundings and that one should serve God in one's every deed and word. The movement provided spiritual hope and uplifted the common people. There were large branches of Hasidic movements and schools throughout Eastern Europe before World War II, each following the teachings of famous scholars and thinkers. Most had their own customs, rituals and life styles. Today there are substantial Hasidic communities in New York, London, Israel and Antwerp.

2 Meisels Dow Ber (1798-1870)

An orthodox rabbi from Cracow, later Warsaw, supporter of close Polish-Jewish relations, Polish patriot. He took part in and financed the delivery of weapons for the Polish insurgents during the November Uprising (1830). In 1832 he was given a rabbinical function in Cracow where he remained for 20 years. In 1846 he supported the Cracow Uprising. After Cracow was incorporated into Austria he became a city senator and a delegate to the Austrian Parliament. He supported Jewish claims for equal rights. In 1856 appointed the head rabbi of Warsaw, encouraged residents of Warsaw to participate in patriotic demonstrations. In 1861 he decided to close all synagogues as a gesture of solidarity with Catholic clergy, who closed all Catholic churches after they were desacralized by tsarist Cossacks, dispersing patriotic demonstrations. He was arrested for this and imprisoned by the tsarist authorities. Until the end of his life he remained under police supervision. He was forced to give up public activity, participated in charity work and professional research. Meisels’s funeral turned into a mass Polish-Jewish demonstration.

3 Liquidation of the ghetto in Lublin

The process of deporting Jews from the Lublin ghetto began as early as 1941. In early 1942 the ghetto was divided into 2 parts: part A - with a lower standard of living and B - with a higher standard of living. People from the A part of the ghetto were gradually deported. Several days before the great liquidation action of the Lublin ghetto, in March 1942, all Jews employed in the German production plants were registered and resettled to the B part of the ghetto. On 16th March 1942 German and Ukrainian forces set fire to the main streets of ghetto A, forcing the remaining Jews to get out. On 17th March 1942 Jews assembled on the Umschlagplatz in Lublin were deported to the camp in Belzec. Residents of Ghetto B were soon resettled in the small ghetto in so-called Majdan Tatarski. Within 6 months most of them were deported to the extermination camp in Majdanek and the ghetto in Piaski.   

4 Polonization of Jewish first and last names

The Polonization of first and last names in the 19th century was mostly an effect and a symptom of assimilation. Representatives of the so-called assimilatory trend changed their names or added a Polish element to the name. Later, this tendency was not restricted to the assimilatory circle. In the interwar period Jews often had two names: the Jewish name (in the Hebrew or Yiddish version), the official name, written down on the birth certificate and the Polish name, used in everyday contacts with Poles, but also among family. The story of the Polish-Jewish historian Schiper is an interesting case of the variety of names used by Polish Jews. Schiper published his works under three different names: Izaak, Icchak and Ignacy. After WWII many Jews who survived the Holocaust in hiding under false names never returned to their pre-war names. Legal regulations after the war enabled this procedure. Such a situation was caused by the lack of a feeling of security and post-war trauma, which showed itself in breaking off ties with one's group. Another reason for the Polonization of names after WWII was the pressure exerted by the communist authorities on Jews - members of the communist party and employed in the party apparatus.  

5 Der Moment

Daily newspaper published in Warsaw from 1910-39 by Yidishe Folkspartei in Poyln. It was one of the most widely read Jewish daily papers in Poland, published in Yiddish with a circulation of 100,000 copies.

6 Haint (Yid

: Today): Literally 'Today,' it was one of the most popular Yiddish dailies published in Poland. It came out in Warsaw from 1908-1939, and had a Zionist orientation addressing a mass of readers. In the 1930s it attained a print run of 45,000 copies.

7 Agudat Israel in Poland, [Hebrew, Israelite Union]

A worldwide organization of orthodox Jews, founded in 1912 in Katowice. The goal of Agudat Israel was the preservation of the separateness of Jews and fighting assimilation. The organization existed until 1939 (informally also in the period 1945-1949). It was one of the strongest Jewish parties in the 2nd Republic of Poland, with the largest representation in the Polish Parliament. One of the founders and the main activist was tzaddik Abraham Alter from Gora Kalwaria, which assured Agudat Israel the support of Polish Hasidim. The goals were the protection of Judaism, the founding of religious schools, the protection of the civil rights of Jews and broadly understood social-charity work.

8 Bund

The short name of the General Jewish Union of Working People in Lithuania, Poland and Russia, Bund means Union in Yiddish. The Bund was a social democratic organization representing Jewish craftsmen from the Western areas of the Russian Empire. It was founded in Vilnius in 1897. In 1906 it joined the autonomous fraction of the Russian Social Democratic Working Party and took up a Menshevist position. After the Revolution of 1917 the organization split: one part was anti-Soviet power, while the other remained in the Bolsheviks' Russian Communist Party. In 1921 the Bund dissolved itself in the USSR, but continued to exist in other countries.

9 Mickiewicz, Adam (1798-1855)

Often regarded as the greatest Polish poet. As a student he was arrested for nationalist activities by the tsarist police in 1823. In 1829 he managed to emigrate to France and worked as professor of literature at different universities. During the 1848 revolution in France and the Crimean War he attempted to organize legions for the Polish cause. Mickiewicz's poetry gave international stature to Polish literature. His powerful verse expressed a romantic view of the soul and the mysteries of life, often employing Polish folk themes.

10 Communist Party of Poland (KPP)

Created in December 1918 in Warsaw, its aim was to create a global or pan-European federal socialist state, and it fought against the rebirth of the Polish state. Between 1921 and 1923 it propagated slogans advocating a two-stage revolution (the bourgeois-democratic revolution and the socialist revolution), the reinforcement of Poland's sovereignty, the right to self-determination of the ethnic minorities living within the II Republic of Poland, and worker and peasant government of the country. After 1924, as in the rest of the international communist movement, ultra-revolutionary tendencies developed. From 1929 the KPP held the stance that the conditions were right for the creation by revolution of a Polish Republic of Soviets with a system based on the Soviet model, and advocated 'social fascism' and 'peasant fascism.' In 1935 on the initiative of Stalin, the KPP wrought further changes in its program (recognizing the existence of the II Polish Republic and its political system). In 1919 the KPP numbered some 7,000-8,000 members, and in 1934 around 10,000 (37 percent peasants), with a majority of Jews, Belarusians and Ukrainians. In 1937 Stalin took the decision to liquidate the KPP; the majority of its leaders were arrested and executed in the USSR, and in 1939 the party was finally liquidated on the charge that it had been taken over by provocateurs and spies.

11 Great Patriotic War

On 22nd June 1941 at 5 o'clock in the morning Nazi Germany attacked the Soviet Union without declaring war. This was the beginning of the so-called Great Patriotic War. The German blitzkrieg, known as Operation Barbarossa, nearly succeeded in breaking the Soviet Union in the months that followed. Caught unprepared, the Soviet forces lost whole armies and vast quantities of equipment to the German onslaught in the first weeks of the war. By November 1941 the German army had seized the Ukrainian Republic, besieged Leningrad, the Soviet Union's second largest city, and threatened Moscow itself. The war ended for the Soviet Union on 9th May 1945.

12 German Invasion of Poland

The German attack of Poland on 1st September 1939 is widely considered the date in the West for the start of World War II. After having gained both Austria and the Bohemian and Moravian parts of Czechoslovakia, Hitler was confident that he could acquire Poland without having to fight Britain and France. (To eliminate the possibility of the Soviet Union fighting if Poland were attacked, Hitler made a pact with the Soviet Union, the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact.) On the morning of 1st September 1939, German troops entered Poland. The German air attack hit so quickly that most of Poland's air force was destroyed while still on the ground. To hinder Polish mobilization, the Germans bombed bridges and roads. Groups of marching soldiers were machine-gunned from the air, and they also aimed at civilians. On 1st September, the beginning of the attack, Great Britain and France sent Hitler an ultimatum - withdraw German forces from Poland or Great Britain and France would go to war against Germany. On 3rd September, with Germany's forces penetrating deeper into Poland, Great Britain and France both declared war on Germany.

13 Peretz, Isaac Leib (1852-1915)

Author and poet writing in Yiddish, one of the fathers and central figures of modern Yiddish literature, researcher of Jewish folklore. Born in Zamosc, he had both a religious and a secular education (he took courses in bookkeeping and studied law in Warsaw). Initially he wrote in Polish and Hebrew. His debut [in Yiddish] is considered to be the poem Monish, (1888, Di yidishe Folksbibliotek). From 1890 he lived in Warsaw. Peretz was an advocate of Yiddishism, and attended a conference on the subject of the Yiddish language in Jewish culture held in Czernowitz (1908). His most widely read works are his novellas, which he wrote at first in the positivist style and later in the modernist vein. In his work he often used folk motifs from the culture of Eastern European Jews (Khasidish, 1908). His best known works include Hurban beit tzaddik (The Ruin of the Tzaddik's House, 1903), Di Goldene Keyt (The Golden Chain, 1906). During World War I he was involved in bringing help to the victims of war. He died of a heart attack.

14 Epstein, Jozef (1916-1944)

Also known as Colonel Gilles, originally from Zamosc, one of the leaders of the French resistance movement during WWII. Before the war a member of the Communist Party of Poland. In 1931 deported from Poland for communist activity. In 1936 he participated in the civil war in Spain. Since 1941 involved in the activity of the communist resistance group Francs-Tireurs et Partisans (FTP). Most probably as a result of betrayal, arrested on 11th April 1944 and shot to death by the Germans in Paris.  

15 Spanish Civil War (1936-39)

A civil war in Spain, which lasted from July 1936 to April 1939, between rebels known as Nacionales and the Spanish Republican government and its supporters. The leftist government of the Spanish Republic was besieged by nationalist forces headed by General Franco, who was backed by Nazi Germany and fascist Italy. Though it had Spanish nationalist ideals as the central cause, the war was closely watched around the world mainly as the first major military contest between left-wing forces and the increasingly powerful and heavily armed fascists. The number of people killed in the war has been long disputed ranging between 500,000 and a million.

16 Lwow Ghetto

Created following an order of the German administrative authorities issued on 8th November 1941. All Jews living in Lwow, that is approx. 120,000 people, were resettled to the ghetto. During a selection which was conducted by the German authorities most elderly and sick persons were shot to death before the ghetto was formally created. Many Jews were employed in workshops producing equipment for the Wehrmacht or the Luftwaffe. Some of them were also employed in the German administration outside of the ghetto. Since March 1941 the Germans imprisoned Jews in the Janowska forced labor camp and also deported them to the extermination camp in Belzec. Some residents died during mass street executions in the area of the ghetto called Piaski. The Great Liquidation Action in the Lwow ghetto lasted from 10th to 23rd August 1942. It is estimated that some 40,000 Jews were deported to the Belzec extermination camp. Some young men were sent to the Janowska forced labor camp. Approx. 800 people were taken to the Auschwitz extermination camp.

17 Capturing of Lwow

On 30th June 1941 the German forces captured Lwow, which had been under Soviet occupation. This was part of the 'Barbarossa' operation, initiated on 22nd June 1941, leading to the overtaking by the 2nd Reich of the area of the Soviet Union and allied republics. The quick capturing of the Ukrainian Soviet People's Republic was facilitated by the collaboration of Ukrainians, who treated the Germans as liberators from the soviet terror and forced collectivization.

18 Warsaw Ghetto

A separate residential district for Jews in Warsaw created over several months in 1940. On 16th November 1940 138,000 people were enclosed behind its walls. Over the following months the population of the ghetto increased as more people were relocated from the small towns surrounding the city. By March 1941 445,000 people were living in the ghetto. Subsequently, the number of the ghetto's inhabitants began to fall sharply as a result of disease, hunger, deportation, persecution and liquidation. The ghetto was also systematically reduced in size. The internal administrative body was the Jewish Council (Judenrat). The Warsaw ghetto ceased to exist on 15th May 1943, when the Germans pronounced the failure of the uprising, staged by the Jewish soldiers, and razed the area to the ground.

19 Great Action (Grossaktion)

July-September 1942, mass deportations from the Warsaw ghetto to Treblinka extermination camp. This was the first liquidation campaign, during which around 265,000 of 355,000 Jews living in the ghetto were deported, and a further 10,000 were murdered on the spot. About 70,000 people remained inside the ghetto walls (the majority of them, as unemployed, were there illegally).

20 Szmalcownik

Polish slang word from the period of the German occupation (derived from the German word 'Schmalz', meaning lard), referring to a person blackmailing and denouncing Jews in hiding. Szmalcowniks operated in all larger cities, in particular following the liquidation of the ghettos, when Jews who had evaded deportation attempted to survive in hiding. In Warsaw they often formed organized groups that prowled around the ghetto exists. They picked out their victims by subtle signs (e.g. lowered, frightened eyes, timid behavior), eccentric clothing (e.g. the lack of the fur collar so widespread at the time, or wearing winter clothes in summer), way of speaking, etc. Victims so selected were threatened with denunciation to the Germans; blackmail could be an isolated event or be repeated until the victim's financial resources ran out. The Polish underground attempted to combat the szmalcowniks but in vain. To this day the crimes of the szmalcowniks are not entirely investigated and accounted for.

21 Navy-Blue Police, or Polish Police of the General Governorship

The name of the communal police which operated between 1939 and 1945 in the districts of the General Governorship. Navy-Blue police was subordinate to the order police (so-called Orpo, Ordnungpolizei). Members were forcibly employed officers of the pre-war Polish state police. Navy-Blue Policemen participated, for example, in deportations of residents, in suppressing the 'black market,' in isolating Jews in ghettoes. Some members participated in cells of the underground state and passed on information about the functioning of the German forces.

22 September Campaign 1939

Armed struggle in defense of Poland's independence from 1st September to 6th October 1939 against German and, from 17th September, also Soviet aggression; the start of World War II. The German plan of aggression ('Fall Weiss') assumed all-out, lightning warfare (Blitzkrieg). The Polish plan of defense planned engagement of battle in the border region (a length of some 1,600 km), and then organization of resistance further inside the country along subsequent lines of defense (chiefly along the Narew, Vistula and San) until an allied (French and British) offensive on the western front. Poland's armed forces, commanded by the Supreme Commander, Marshal Edward Rydz-Smigly, numbered some 1 m soldiers. Poland defended itself in isolation; on 3rd September Britain and France declared war on Germany, yet did not undertake offensive action on a larger scale. Following a battle on the border the main Polish line of defense was broken, and the Polish forces retreated in battles on the Vistula and the San. On 8th September, the German army reached Warsaw, and on 12th September Lvov. From 14th-16th September the Germans closed their ring on the Bug. On 9th September Polish divisions commanded by General Tadeusz Kutrzeba went into battle with the Germans on the Bzura, but after initial successes were surrounded and largely smashed (by 22nd September), although some of the troops managed to get to Warsaw. Defense was continued by isolated centers of resistance, where the civilian population cooperated with the army in defense. On 17th September Soviet forces numbering more than 800,000 men crossed Poland's eastern border, broke through the defense of the Polish forces and advanced nearly as far as the Narew-Bug-Vistula-San line. In the night of 17th-18th September the president of Poland, the government and the Supreme Commander crossed the Polish-Romanian border and were interned. Lvov capitulated on 22nd September (surrendered to Soviet units), Warsaw on 28th September, Modlin on 29th September, and Hel on 2nd October.

23 Wladyslaw Gomulka (1905-1982)

Communist activist and politician, one of the leading figures of the political scene of the Polish People's Republic, secretary general of the Central Committee (KC). In 1948 he was accused of so-called rightist-nationalist tendencies. As a consequence, he was imprisoned in 1951 and removed from the Polish United Workers' Party (PZPR). He was released in 1954 as a national hero, patriot and 'Polish' communist. From 21st October 1956 First Secretary of the Central Committee and member of the PZPR Central Committee's Political Office, from 1957 member of the State Council and deputy to the Polish Sejm. Initially enjoyed the support of public opinion (resisted Soviet pressure) and pursued a policy of moderate reforms of the political and economic system. In 1968 he came out in favor of intervention by the states of the Warsaw Bloc in Czechoslovakia. He was responsible for anti-Semitic repressions in March 1968 (as a result of which over 20,000 were forced to leave Poland) and the use of force against participants in the workers' revolt of December 1970. On 20th December 1970 he was forced to resign his post as First Secretary of the Central Committee and member of the PZPR Central Committee's Political Office, in 1970 he was dismissed from his other posts, and in 1971 he was forced into retirement.   

24 Majdanek concentration camp

Situated five kilometers from the city center of Lublin, Poland, originally established as a labor camp in October 1941. It was officially called Prisoner of War Camp of the Waffen-SS Lublin until 16th February 1943, when the name was changed to Concentration Camp of the Waffen-SS Lublin. Unlike most other Nazi death camps, Majdanek, located in a completely open field, was not hidden from view. About 130,000 Jews were deported there during 1942-43 as part of the 'Final Solution.'. Initially there were two gas chambers housed in a wooden building, which were later replaced by gas chambers in a brick building. The estimated number of deaths is 360,000, including Jews, Soviets POWs and Poles. The camp was liquidated in July 1944, but by the time the Red Army arrived the camp was only partially destroyed. Although approximately 1,000 inmates were executed on a death march, the Red Army found thousand of prisoners still in the camp, an evidence of the mass murder that had occurred in Majdanek.

25 Treblinka

Village in Poland's Mazovia region, site of two camps. The first was a penal labor camp, established in 1941 and operating until 1944. The second, known as Treblinka II, functioned in the period 1942-43 and was a death camp. Prisoners in the former worked in Treblinka II. In the second camp a ramp and a mock-up of a railway station were built, which prevented the victims from realizing what awaited them until just in front of the entrance to the gas chamber. The camp covered an area of 13.5 hectares. It was bounded by a 3-m high barbed wire fence interwoven densely with pine branches to screen what was going on inside. The whole process of exterminating a transport from arrival in the camp to removal of the corpses from the gas chamber took around 2 hours. Several transports arrived daily. In the 13 months of the extermination camp's existence the Germans gassed some 750,000-800,000 Jews. Those taken to Treblinka included Warsaw Jews during the so-called 'Grossaktion' [great liquidation campaign] in the Warsaw ghetto in the summer of 1942. In addition to Polish Jews, Jews from Austria, Belgium, Bulgaria, Czechoslovakia, France, Greece, Yugoslavia and the USSR were also killed in Treblinka. In the spring of 1943 the Germans gradually began to liquidate the camp. On 2nd August 1943 an uprising broke out there with the aim of enabling some 200 people to escape. The majority died.

26 Jedwabne

Town in north-eastern Poland. On 10th July 1941 900 Jews were burned alive there. Until recently the official historiography maintained that the Germans were the perpetrators of this act. In 2000, however, Tomasz Gross published a book called 'Neighbors,' in which he indicted Poles as the perpetrators of the Jedwabne massacre. This book sparked off a discussion that embroiled academics, politicians and the media alike. The case was also investigated by the Institute for National Remembrance. This was the second such serious debate on Polish involvement in the extermination of the Jews. The Jedwabne debate attempted to establish the number of Jews murdered, to define the nature of the incident (pogrom or Holocaust), and to point out the direct perpetrators and initiators of the crime.

27 Kielce Pogrom

On 4th July 1946 the alleged kidnapping of a Polish boy led to a pogrom in which 42 people were killed and over 40 wounded. The pogrom also prompted other anti-Jewish incidents in Kielce region. These events caused mass emigrations of Jews to Israel and other countries.

28 The 1st Kosciuszko Infantry Division

Tactical grouping formed in the USSR from May 1943. The victory at Stalingrad and the gradual assumption of the strategic initiative by the Red Army strengthened Stalin's position in the anti-fascist coalition and enabled him to exert increasing influence on the issue of Poland. In April 1943, following the public announcement by the Germans of their discovery of mass graves at Katyn, Stalin broke off diplomatic relations with the Polish government in exile and using the Poles in the USSR, began openly to build up a political base (the Union of Polish Patriots) and an army: the 1st Kosciuszko Infantry Division numbered some 11,000 soldiers and was commanded first by General Zygmunt Berling (1943-44), and subsequently by the Soviet General Bewziuk (1944-45). In August 1943 the division was incorporated into the 1st Corps of the Polish Armed Forces in the USSR, and from March 1944 was part of the Polish Army in the USSR. The 1st Division fought at Lenino on 12-13 October 1943, and in Praga in September 1944. In January 1945 it marched into Warsaw, and in April-May 1945 it took part in the capture of Berlin. After the war it became part of the Polish Army.

29 Union of Polish Patriots (ZPP)

Political organization founded in March 1943 by Polish communists in the USSR. It served Stalin's policy with regard to the Polish question. The ZPP drew up the terms on which the communists took power in post-war Poland. It developed its range of activities more fully after the Soviet authorities broke off diplomatic contact with the government of the Republic of Poland in exile (Apr. 1943). The upper ranks of the ZPP were dominated by communists (from Jan. 1944 concentrated in the Central Bureau of Polish Communists), who did not reveal the organization's long-term aims. The ZPP propagated slogans such as armed combat against the Germans, alliance with the USSR, parliamentary democracy and moderate social and economic reforms in post-war Poland, and redefinition of Poland's eastern border. It considered the ruling bodies of the Republic of Poland in exile to be illegal. It conducted propaganda campaigns (its press organ was called 'Wolna Polska' - Free Poland), and organized community care and education and cultural activities. From May 1943 it co-operated in the organization of the First Kosciuszko Infantry Division, and later the Polish Army in the USSR (1944). In July 1944, the ZPP was formally subordinated to the National Council and participated in the formation of the Polish Committee for National Liberation. From 1944-46, the ZPP resettled Poles and Jews from the USSR to Poland. It was dissolved in August 1946.

30 Warsaw Uprising 1944

The term refers to the Polish uprising between 1st August and 2nd October 1944, an armed uprising orchestrated by the underground Home Army and supported by the civilian population of Warsaw. It was justified by political motives: the calculation that if the domestic arm of the Polish government in exile took possession of the city, the USSR would be forced to recognize Polish sovereignty. The Allies rebuffed requests for support for the campaign. The Polish underground state failed to achieve its aim. Losses were vast: around 20,000 insurrectionists and 200,000 civilians were killed and 70% of the city destroyed.

31 Polish United Workers’ Party (PZPR)

Communist party formed in Poland in December 1948 by the fusion of the PPR (Polish Workers' Party) and the PPS (Polish Socialist Party). Until 1989 it was the only party in the country; it held power, but was subordinate to the Soviet Union. After losing the elections in June 1989 it lost its monopoly. On 29th January 1990 the party was dissolved.

32 Creation of the State of Israel

From 1917 Palestine was a British mandate. Also in 1917 the Balfour Declaration was published, which supported the idea of the creation of a Jewish homeland in Palestine. Throughout the interwar period, Jews were migrating to Palestine, which caused the conflict with the local Arabs to escalate. On the other hand, British restrictions on immigration sparked increasing opposition to the mandate powers. Immediately after World War II there were increasing numbers of terrorist attacks designed to force Britain to recognize the right of the Jews to their own state. These aspirations provoked the hostile reaction of the Palestinian Arabs and the Arab states. In February 1947 the British foreign minister Ernest Bevin ceded the Palestinian mandate to the UN, which took the decision to divide Palestine into a Jewish section and an Arab section and to create an independent Jewish state. On 14th May 1948 David Ben Gurion proclaimed the creation of the State of Israel. It was recognized immediately by the US and the USSR. On the following day the armies of Egypt, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Iraq, Syria and Lebanon attacked Israel, starting a war that continued, with intermissions, until the beginning of 1949 and ended in a truce.

33 Singer, Israel Joshua (1893-1944)

Yiddish novelist, dramatist and journalist. Elder brother of Isaac Bashevis Singer. Born in Bilgoraj, Poland, he lived in Warsaw and Kiev before emigrating to America in 1933. Well known as a writer of ‘family sagas,’ foremost among them ‘Di Brider Ashkenazi’ (The Brothers Ashkenazi, 1936), a novel set in Jewish Lodz at the time of the expansion of the textile industry. Other works include ‘Nay-Rusland’ (1928), ‘Yoshe Kalb’ (1932), and ‘Khaver Nakhman’ (1938). He wrote for the New York daily ‘Forward’ under the pseudonym G. Kuper.

34 Wiesel, Eliezer (commonly known as Elie) (born 1928)

World-renowned novelist, philosopher, humanitarian and political activist. He is the author of over forty books. In 1986, Wiesel was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Wiesel teaches at Boston University and serves as the Chairman of The Elie Wiesel Foundation for Humanity.

35 The Jewish Historical Institute [Zydowski Instytut Historyczny (ZIH)]

Warsaw-based academic institution devoted to researching the history and culture of Polish Jews. Founded in 1947 from the Central Jewish Historical Committee, an arm of the Central Committee for Polish Jews. ZIH houses an archive center and library whose stocks include the books salvaged from the libraries of the Templum Synagogue and the Institute of Judaistica, and the documents comprising the Ringelblum Archive. ZIH also has exhibition rooms where its collection of liturgical items and Jewish painting are on display, and an exhibition dedicated to the Warsaw ghetto. Initially the institute devoted its research activities solely to the Holocaust, but over the last dozen or so years it has broadened the scope of its historical and cultural work. In 1993 ZIH was brought under the auspices of the Polish Ministry of Culture and National Heritage. It publishes the Jewish Historical Institute Quarterly.

36 Singer, Isaac Bashevis (1904-1991)

Yiddish novelist, short-story writer and journalist. Born in Poland, Singer received a traditional rabbinical education but opted for the life of a writer instead. He emigrated to the US in 1935, where he wrote for the New York-based The Jewish Daily Forward. Many of his novellas, such as Satan in Goray (1935) and The Slave (1962), are set in the Poland of the past. One of his best-known works, The Family Moskat (1950), he deals with the decline of Jewish values in Warsaw before World War II. Singer was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1978.

37 Anti-Zionist campaign in Poland

From 1962-1967 a campaign got underway to sack Jews employed in the Ministry of Internal Affairs, the army and the central administration. The background to this anti-Semitic campaign was the involvement of the Socialist Bloc countries on the Arab side in the Middle East conflict, in connection with which Moscow ordered purges in state institutions. On 19th June 1967 at a trade union congress the then First Secretary of the Polish United Workers' Party [PZPR], Wladyslaw Gomulka, accused the Jews of a lack of loyalty to the state and of publicly demonstrating their enthusiasm for Israel's victory in the Six-Day-War. This address marked the start of purges among journalists and creative professions. Poland also severed diplomatic relations with Israel. On 8th March 1968 there was a protest at Warsaw University. The Ministry of Internal Affairs responded by launching a press campaign and organizing mass demonstrations in factories and workplaces during which 'Zionists' and 'trouble-makers' were indicted and anti-Semitic and anti-intelligentsia slogans shouted. After the events of March, purges were also staged in all state institutions, from factories to universities, on criteria of nationality and race. 'Family liability' was also introduced (e.g. with respect to people whose spouses were Jewish). Jews were forced to emigrate. From 1968-1971 15,000-30,000 people left Poland. They were stripped of their citizenship and right of return.

38 The Association of Jewish War Veterans and Victims of Prosecutions during World War II (Stowarzyszenie Zydow Kombatantow i Poszkodowanych w II wojnie)

An organization of Jewish war veterans, who had taken part in armed struggle against Nazi Germany, and were victims of Holocaust persecution. The organization was founded in 1991. It has 13 sections throughout Poland, and 150 members. Its aims include providing help to Jews who were victimized during the war and spreading knowledge about the struggle and victimization of Jews during WWII. The Association established the Medal of the 50th Anniversary of the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising, which is granted to persons who have made important contributions to Polish-Jewish life and dialogue.

Ludwik Krasucki

Ludwik Krasucki 
Warsaw 
Poland 
Interviewer: Marta Janczewska 
Date of interview: January – February 2004 
 

I was interviewing Mr. Ludwik Krasucki, Chairman of the Association of Jewish Combatants and Casualties in World War II, in his apartment situated in an exclusive area of Warsaw. Our discussion took place in his study filled with books, photographs and other mementoes. My host told his story with color and volubility, interspersed with many anecdotes. The story of Ludwik Krasucki’s life was not just the story of an individual, but first of all a record of the fate of a large group of Warsaw’s Jews – an enlightened, wealthy intelligentsia steeped at once in two traditions – the Polish and the Jewish. I met Mr. Krasucki for the last time on 10th May 2004. Although he was not feeling well, he was full of optimism and confidence in the future. As we parted he quipped: ‘Wisniewski’s already knocking my coffin together, but I’m not going to die for his pleasure!’ Ludwik Krasucki passed away on 3rd August 2004.

  • My family background

I was born in Warsaw in 1925. My parents came from two different social groups, both typical of prewar Jewish Warsaw and prewar Poland.

To be precise, my mother’s family, the Krasucki family, was a venerable, well-off Warsaw family, descended from and linked to a long line of prominent figures in the Jewish community.

My grandfather Naum alias Nikodem Krasucki was a descendant of the first Rabbi of Warsaw, whose beautiful tomb still stands in the Jewish Cemetery in Warsaw.

That ancestor of my grandfather – Rabbi Shlomo Szlajman (Zalman) Lipszyc, who was born in 1765 in Poznan and died in 1839 in Warsaw – served as a rabbi in Warsaw from 1819.

He was the first Rabbi of Warsaw, as it was only then that a rabbi for the entire city of Warsaw was appointed. At that time, the city became capital of the Congress Kingdom 1, following the demise of the Duchy of Warsaw 2 and the final defeat of Napoleon.

My great-great-great-grandfather is the author of the well-known book ‘Chemdat Shlomo’ [Splendor of Shlomo, a book of religious writings] which has seen several re-editions, most recently in Israel in 1961.

The memory of Rabbi Lipszyc was very much alive in the family. He was a man of patriotic, pro-Polish convictions – which was a source of pride for the family.

Thus, the Krasuckis have been a family of writers for generations. It was a family of Jewish intellectuals, people who traditionally concerned themselves with religious inquiry and philosophy.

I must say, however, that they weren’t Orthodox in their outlook. On my mother’s side of the family there had never been a single Orthodox Jew. They were representatives of the Jewish Enlightenment. 

My grandparents from Mother’s side got married around 1892. My mother’s mother – Cyla alias Cecylia Krasucka, nee Schoenfeld, was born about 1870in Hamburg and died in the Warsaw Ghetto 3, probably in 1942.

Grandma came from a prosperous Jewish family from Lowicz or the environs of that town, which is on the Western fringes of the Mazovia region. The family business was processing industry. They owned flourmills and distilleries as early as in the 18thcentury.

At that time, grain was exported to America via Germany. In the 1830s my grandma’s father, that is my great-grandfather, decided to move to Hamburg to sell grain and flour to America without German intermediaries. In this way the Schoenfelds acquired a vast fortune.

My grandma was also born there as ‘Fraeulein’Schoenfeld. Having made their fortune, the Schoenfelds returned to Warsaw. When the family was living in Germany, my grandma resolved to get a medical degree.

And in fact, she was already well advanced in her medical studies when she had to interrupt them because of her family’s return to Warsaw. 

While she didn’t finish university in Germany, she nevertheless came back to Poland convinced that for the Jews there was nothing better than Germany and that no good could come to Poland from the East.

My mother also adopted those views of hers. That was the cause of the incredible tragedy Grandma experienced on hearing the news about Hitler and developments in Germany, which I remember witnessing as an already reflective teenager.

She declared that such a thing was impossible; she would read the papers and burst into tears. She couldn’t comprehend what was going on over there. Couldn’t accept the facts. I don’t know if Grandma had any siblings; anyhow, she inherited the Schoenfeld fortune. 

My mother’s father, Naum alias Nikodem Krasucki, was born around 1868in Warsaw and was killed in the Warsaw Ghetto in 1942. Grandpa was a rather short, very handsome man with a small beard.

He had studied law but never graduated: he probably went to university in Poznan for a while. He was fluent in Polish, Yiddish and Russian, as he was born in Russia; he had an excellent command of German and some knowledge of French, as well as Hebrew, as he had naturally received, as was traditional in that family, a sound religious education. He was able to read books in Hebrew without difficulty.

Among the newspapers that could be found in his home – and I used to browse through them, especially when there were many sporting events on – were: Gazeta Polska [The Polish Newspaper, a daily published in Warsaw in 1929-1939, organ of Pilsudski’s party] and Nasz Przeglad [Our Review, a Polish-language Jewish daily published in Warsaw in 1929-1939] – an excellent, splendid newspaper, perhaps the best Polish Jewish paper of the time.

Next, he bought some newspaper written in Yiddish, which, I believe, was a Bund 4 paper. That reflected Grandpa’s philosophy that one should listen to different opinions. Grandpa had a huge library, filled with religious and secular works.

He didn’t belong to any political party, but held centrist views; he considered Pilsudski 5 – to be the man in Poland in whom the Jews should put their hopes. 

Grandpa and Grandma Krasucki were engaged in some business, but unfortunately I don’t know any details about it; in any case, theirs was a very wealthy bourgeois family.

Incidentally, their financial status had suffered somewhat due to Grandma’s pro-German sympathies. Namely, towards the end of World War I Grandma talked Grandpa into believing that the Germans wouldn’t lose the war.

The upshot was that they kept a part of their fortune in German marks, and that investment subsequently lost its value. They were still very wealthy, but in childhood I heard them saying that if it hadn’t been for the war, they would have been really rich!

Theirs was a very wealthy home. Suffice it to say that they were close friends of the Szereszewski family, the owners of the largest banking house in Warsaw [Szereszewskis – before WWII a well known Jewish family of manufacturers and merchants in Warsaw; in 1864 Dawid Mose Szereszewski established a very popular credit bank, which was in operation until 1939]. 

Grandpa and Grandma Krasucki lived in the most prestigious part of Warsaw – on the corner of Nowowiejska and Sluzewska Streets. Nowowiejska was an almost fairy-tale street of the Warsaw of the time – beautiful tenement buildings.

My grandparents had a six-bedroom apartment on the third floor, which also included a maid’s room, a huge kitchen, and a bathroom. Many years had to pass before I learnt to appreciate it. The apartment was fitted with beautiful furniture, there was a grand piano, and fine paintings hung on the walls.

When I would drop in to gobble down my ‘befshtychek’ [literally ‘little steak tartare’], which Grandma used to prepare for me, I ate it with exquisite cutlery; when the family sat down around a large expandable table, the table was set with the best china.

I used to drop by my grandparents’ to plunk around on their grand piano. For a time, one of the rooms was rented by Leon Kruczkowski, the writer, who liked me very much and used to lend me books [Kruczkowski, Leon (1900-1962): Polish left-wing writer].

The Krasuckis were people who had been brought up and remained immersed in the Jewish tradition, but they were open-minded in their attachment. Both dressed in the European style; Grandma didn’t wear a wig. I talked with them in Polish, whereas Grandpa spoke to Grandma in Yiddish, mostly when they didn’t want me to understand their conversation.

When eventually I was able to learn German, which I did with incredible speed, they continued to believe that I couldn’t understand them while in fact I frequently understood what they were talking about, thanks to my knowledge of German.

Oftentimes I would be mystified as to why they didn’t want me to hear them speaking, as they weren’t discussing anything particularly horrifying. Grandma spoke excellent German, like a native; her Polish was also very good, but it grew richer by the year, which means that her Polish was ‘in statu nascendi’[coming to being], that she was in the process of learning it. She spoke a slightly different variant of Yiddish, since I remember that during their conversations Grandpa kept uttering a kind of ‘eh’ sound, and Grandma had to repeat what she had just said a second time.

In terms of myself, Grandpa Krasucki had a very strong influence on the formation of my views; I loved him very much and he was very good with me. Grandma was warm-hearted and good, but she wasn’t a figure of authority in my eyes, whereas Grandpa represented the genuine intellectual authority for me.

In my family, it was my grandpa who provided, in various ways, my link to the Jewish religion, and more precisely to its customs. He consideredreligious issues, Talmudic aspects, less important, but believed that the Jewish religion consisted of a set of customs that every Jew should respect and observe.

Grandpa used to tell me frequently that the most important thing was to believe in and act in accordance with God’s commandments and to respect Jewish tradition because it represents the customs of our people that unite and distinguish it.

On the other hand, he didn’t attach much significance to what I might call religious zeal or exactitude, even though on occasion I did see Grandpa praying dressed in a tallit.

I also recall that he used to go to the synagogue, though I’m not sure if he did that every Friday. And it was Grandpa who had bought that engrossing book on the history of the Jews, in which I read with bated breath about Moses, the walls of Jericho, all the kings, etc. 

I remember, too, that it was Grandpa Krasucki who took me to a religious service on the Day of Atonement [Yom Kippur]. The shul we went to served a section of the city, which didn’t have many Jewish inhabitants.

The prayer house stood in the courtyard of one of the houses on Mokotowska Street, on the odd-number side; it seems that the tenement belonged to the Erbsztajns, a well-known Jewish family.

I felt very proud to be there with my grandpa, for he knew many of those present and many people knew him; as Grandpa was greeting everybody, I found it fascinating: here was some distinguished professor from Warsaw University, there an owner of twelve tenements, next was some guy about whom the newspapers had written that he had committed some huge fraud but he wouldn’t let them lock him up.

That was the richness of prewar life. As thinking, sensitive child, I took the Day of Atonement seriously, of course; I knew that it was a day for self-reflection and examination of my relationship to God. The purpose of the Day of Atonement is to recognize one’s own faults. 

Regarding kosher food, two kitchens were kept simultaneously at my grandparents’. Namely, Grandpa ate kosher, and everyone in the household knew which dishes were milk-based and which contained meat; there were two types of plates – I remember all of that.

On holidays, everything was done in accordance with Jewish tradition, of course. But when I showed up there after playing basketball, or after a game of tennis as was the case just before the war, just to see Grandma and Grandpa, and, while there, to plunk around on the grand piano or sometimes to play chess with Grandpa, then Grandpa would eat his kosher food while I got my rare ‘befshtychek’, because Grandma believed that a rare ‘befshtychek’ was an absolute must for her boy, and that wasn’t kosher.

In other words, in that household a kosher kitchen was kept for Grandma and Grandpa, and all the guests that came to visit them on holidays or on other such occasions participated in it, but other than that, when we called on them, we ate non-kosher. 

Helenka, the maid at Grandparents’ house, always made sure that Grandpa had meals prepared in accordance with the law, but when I or any of my cousins came, then her only concern was to make the food tasty and serve it fast, as we were always in a hurry.

With respect to kosher food, I recall the following incident: Mom took me to a summer vacation place in Lesna Podkowa [a small village near Warsaw, a popular vacation spot of middle class families in the prewar period]; Dad would come up to see us on Saturday afternoon, and Grandma Krasucki also came on occasion.

Grandma used to arrive laden with packages in order to bring some goodies for her poor little Ludwik. Father would get mad and try to explain that we weren’t starving, after all, etc., and then he would ostentatiously invite everybody to a restaurant.

In Lesna Podkowa, the regular restaurant was good, whereas the Jewish kosher one was, pardon the expression, a sorry excuse for a restaurant.

Therefore, Father and Grandma held the following frank discussion: ‘Mom, if you insist on eating kosher, then we will go to the kosher place, but if we are to enjoy our meal, then let’s go to the non-kosher restaurant.’ Grandma’s reply was: ‘you know what, we won’t tell Grandpa, let’s to go the good restaurant.’

Grandpa and Grandma Krasucki had seven children. At the time when I was born and then started to become acquainted with the family, two of my grandparents’ children, their eldest and middle sons, were already dead.

The eldest son, Emmanuel, was a very distinguished engineer who had had a successful career; having completed a technical degree course in Zurich, he later joined the faculty of Zurich Technical University.

He was a very eminent mechanical engineer who lectured on issues to do with various types of engines, and designed several types of engines himself. Regrettably, his designs were subsequently used by the Germans to build submarines during World War I – a fact of which I’m not proud. 

My mom’s second brother, Nehemiasz, was an outstanding draughtsman. He, unfortunately, led quite a colorful lifestyle and ended up with tuberculosis. For the family, that was a real tragedy, as he was very much liked and loved by everybody.

My mom always claimed that he was my grandma’s favorite son. Just before the start of World War I, he was sent as a tuberculosis patient to his elder brother, who had already become a lecturer at Zurich Polytechnic.

Unfortunately, just as in Thomas Mann’s ‘Magic Mountain’, he was treated for his lung disease in Switzerland and died from tuberculosis soon after the end of World War I. 

My mom was the eldest daughter. She graduated from the music conservatory in Warsaw and ought to have become a professional pianist, but suffered from stage fright and got so nervous in front of an audience that she never managed to give a decent performance.

Thus, she ended up as a music teacher. Because she graduated from the conservatory with a good reputation, she taught at one of the music high schools in addition to giving private lessons.

As our living conditions weren’t particularly representative, she gave her lessons in Grandma and Grandpa’s apartment. 

My mother’s sister Felicja was to have been a physician. Unfortunately, her medical studies were interrupted by her marriage. However, her husband Rudolf Wielburski, a stockbroker, was very successful, so she didn’t do badly by marrying him.

The Wielburskis had two sons, Julian and Edward, who were older than me. The third sister, Roza, had some pedagogical education, but she was a teacher only incidentally, and primarily a housewife.

Later on, she married Hersz Borowski. The Borowskis had a son, Aleksander, who was younger than me. The youngest sister – Brandla, or Auntie Bronia, was a lovely girl.

As a matter of fact, I was on friendly terms with her as she was the youngest of them all. Bronia was a brilliant artist. When she made a set of puppets that were exhibited at the Paris Expo world fair in 1936 or 1937, the entire family took pride in her.

Everybody was there: Chaplin and Greta Garbo, political leaders, Pilsudski, and so on – an entire row of wonderful puppets, which received very good press. Bronia belonged to the jazz generation, frequented cafés and met various people.

In the end, before the war she married a nice, wealthy young man whose last name was Wrobel.

Her husband was in the automobile accessory business. By chance, in that family everyone had Polish surnames; of the Krasucki girls, one married a Wielburski, another a Borowski, and the third a Wrobel. All of them were Jews, of course. My mom was the only one to marry a man with a Jewish last name, Jakub Kaferman. 

Mom also had another brother, Izrael alias Jerzy. He was one of my childhood heroes. Uncle Jerzy worked at the Szereszewskis’ bank. He was a sporty type, a very handsome man. He played tennis and took me to important matches and other sporting events. 

I don’t know whether my grandparents had any siblings. There must have been some other family, as there were also some other Krasuckis and other Schoenfelds.

The intellectual and literary predispositions of the family are attested by the fact that my aunt Janina Zawisza-Krasucka was a famous translator, who, before the war, translated ‘Anne of Green Gables’ and all the other books from that series [by Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874-1942)].There was also a Doctor Krasucka – a left-wing social activist. Unfortunately, I don’t know how we were related. 

My mother’s entire family, her parents and siblings, together with their families, were killed during War World II. They were all in the Warsaw ghetto. I’ve never found out whether they died in the ghetto or were murdered in Treblinka 6 extermination camp. 

My father came from a different social background than my mom. Father’s family had Litvak roots 7; they came from the Vitebsk region. The eldest son of that family to receive an education was my grandpa, Chaim Kaferman, born between 1868 and 1870in Homel.

He too was a very handsome man, but his beard was much longer than Grandpa Krasucki’s. Unfortunately, I only heard about Grandpa Kaferman from others as he had died from a heart attack in 1924, or one year before I was born.

Grandpa Kaferman had been, first in Lublin, and subsequently in Warsaw, a representative of a large Russian company, ‘Three Anchors – Gubkin & Kuznetsov,’ tea merchants.

He had a secondary education, but I recall, somewhat vaguely, that it was said that the company had sent Grandpa abroad for a year, probably to Germany, to learn how to do business European style.

Grandpa was promoted steadily up through the firm, so that prior to his death he was its representative for the whole of Poland. Anyway, after the October Revolution the owner of the company, Mr. Sokolnicki, escaped from Russia and settled in Milanowek near Warsaw, and it was for him that Grandpa continued to work.

In 1893 or 1894 Grandpa married in Lublin a native of that town, Hena Roter [1870-1942]. Grandpa Chaim spoke fluent Russian and German; he spoke Yiddish with his wife, and with his children – Yiddish or Polish. Grandma Hena could speak Polish, to be sure, but with a strong Yiddish accent. 

Right before World War I the family moved to Warsaw. The financial position of the Kaferman family, while by no means bad, was nevertheless quite different from that of the Krasuckis. The Kafermans belonged to the lower middle class.

Especially after the death of Grandpa, for Grandma it was a struggle to make ends meet as she found herself alone with a bunch of kids. The Kaferman family lived on Ciepla Street, close to the intersection with Twarda Street; that is, on the edge of the northern district of the city.

[The northern section of Warsaw was poor and inhabited mostly by Jews.] The family had to be concerned with keeping their heads above water; in that social environment Yiddish was heard more frequently. 

Grandma Kaferman was a charming, rather short lady, who was very good and warmhearted towards me. She managed the household. Her apartment wasn’t far from my school and I used to drop by frequently for Sabbath dinner.

It is with Grandma’s apartment that I associate traditional Jewish holidays and traditional Sabbath dinners. Grandma was more religious, but she didn’t wear a wig. She would bless the candles, the entire family would sit down around the table; Grandma’s sons had their heads covered – something that wasn’t required from me.

One of my father’s brothers would say what was supposed to be said on the occasion. He was very religious and went to the synagogue every Friday.

If I were to describe my own point of view on this matter, I would say that I understood that I was a Jew and that the holidays and the Sabbath represented tradition, but in my mind it was all very loosely connected with the issue of religious beliefs.

  • Growing up

I was a boy and came under the authority of my parents, especially that of my father, and Grandma didn’t dare to actively shape my religious views. 

Grandma was a great cook. If my own mom was a dunce in culinary matters, Grandma Kaferman was a genius. The food she served was incredibly delicious. To this very day I remember her Jewish-style goose and caviar, cholent, her fantastic carp, a meat-based dish, which was called ‘shalei moostet’ [shelakhmones], and more.

Grandma didn’t have a servant in the house, but there were her daughters, my aunts, who were very good; they had jobs and helped to keep house. 

The eldest son in the family was my father, Jakub Janusz. One of the daughters, Chawa, or Ewa, who was his elder, married a Mr. Lewin and moved to Cracow. Next came a whole galaxy of sisters.

The youngest girl and another slightly older sister were the only ones who survived, stayed alive through the Holocaust, in the following way: in 1936 Wonia married a Mr. Richter, who had emigrated to Palestine previously and then come to Warsaw in the hope of getting married here; he met Wonia and together they left for Palestine.

My father’s youngest sister, Lucja, married a Mr. Margulies; they both survived the war in Siberia, and immigrated to Palestine in 1948. Besides those two sisters, there was Aunt Natalia, Aunt Jozefa, and Aunt Pola, who married a Mr. Blumenkopf.

Their daughter – Dzidka or Jadwiga Blumenkopf – was in the ghetto in Korczak’s 8 orphanage and died with the rest of the orphanage.In addition to those sisters, my father had two younger brothers: Jozef and Tadeusz.

All of them were killed in the Warsaw ghetto, with the exception of the Richters and the Margulies. 

My father, Jakub Janusz Kaferman, was born in June 1897 in Lublin, and went to a Polish gymnasium [grammar school] there. As a good student, he was given a scholarship, so that when the family moved from Lublin to Warsaw, my father stayed behind in Lublin to finish school in order not to lose his scholarship.

He came to Warsaw only after getting his high-school diploma, and then started to study chemistry at Warsaw University. Father was a mad PPS activist 9, had the typical political traits of a PPS activist, meaning that his views were strongly leftist in the social sense, he was very much in favor of Polish independence, and thought the Bolsheviks were madmen – at once a staunch leftist and an anti-bolshevist. 

In 1918, my father and his fellow university students were disarming Germans, and as a student of Warsaw University, he took part in the 1920 war [see Polish-Soviet War] 10.

He was wounded in the Battle of Warsaw 11, as a second lieutenant in the famous, the legendary 36thinfantry regiment, the Academic Legion, a regiment composed exclusively of student volunteers.

Father was wounded in his left leg, in exactly the same spot where I was wounded while serving with the partisans in World War II. When my father got wounded, which happened some 200-300 meters from the place where the legendary Father Skorupka died [Ignacy Jan Skorupka, 1893-1920, Catholic priest and chaplain of the Polish Army], they transported him to Warsaw to a military hospital in Ujazdow [a district of Warsaw], where my mother was a volunteer nurse. That’s how I became a child of the Battle of Warsaw in the 1920 war. 

A very handsome man, Father captured Mom’s heart; subsequently, they had a romance. Marriage wasn’t on the cards for a long time, because Mom’s family put up desperate resistance; it was a misalliance. But in the end there was a wedding...

Since on account of his convictions, Father was a personal enemy of God, there was only a civil wedding. Father believed in general that religion is stupidity.

He used to say that everyone should be a decent person and act in accordance with some principles, that the Ten Commandments is just the code of behavior of a decent person, etc., but he refused to take part in any form of religious marriage ceremony.

A solution was found in the end – my parents got married in a civil ceremony in Katowice. As a result, I bear my mother’s last name.

Even though their union was formalized, the difference between the law in Silesia and in Warsaw was such that I was a legitimate child in Katowice but not in Warsaw.

[Editor’s note: After Poland regained its independence, different marriage codes, as inherited from the legal systems of the Partitioning Powers, remained in effect.

Thus, the Russian marriage code, under which only religious marriage was permitted, continued to be in force in Warsaw, which had been under Russian rule prior to World War I.

In Katowice, located in the former Prussian-ruled zone, a civil marriage ceremony was obligatory. That mixed legal regime remained in place throughout the interwar period.] 

Though nobody told me officially, I know that I had an elder brother, and the fact that Mom was pregnant with him probably had something to do with my parents’ getting married.

My brother died a few days after his birth, and I, who was born two years later, was an only child. The Krasuckis resigned themselves to having such a son-in-law and eventually came to like him. 

The house we lived in was No. 7 Hoza Street. Father worked as a chemist and his professional life was peppered with ups and downs. For example, he was the first person in the world to successfully candy pears.

Unfortunately, he got cheated on the patent, which he sold for 300 zloty. He thought he had got a good deal, but in fact he had sold the patent on which others made thousands.

Besides, whenever he got a job anywhere, after one, two or three years he would get into some trouble as a PPS activist, so we were constantly in a see-saw situation.

Some time later Father went to work for ‘Three Anchors,’ the same company which employed Grandpa. As an expert on food chemistry, he worked on the expansion of a drying plant for mushrooms intended for export, near Bialowieza Primeval Forest [immense forests near Bialystok, in Eastern Poland].

If there had been ups and downs in previous years, 1937, 1938, and 1939 were a period of relative prosperity in my family because Dad was working all the time.

When my father found himself in financial straits, then my grandparents from Nowowiejska Street helped us in a discreet way. On the other hand, Father always helped his own family one way or another, regardless of our situation.

But it was always done discreetly, in a manner that was respectful of the feelings of his relatives. Mom also was in favor of assisting Father’s family. In general, theirs was a good marriage. Mom gave private music lessons, but when the Depression came, she had few lessons. 

On Hoza Street we had a second-floor apartment. There were two large rooms and one small room plus a kitchen; the downside was that we had to walk downstairs to the toilet when I was a kid.

There was running water in the apartment, but to go to the toilet we had to walk down to the first floor. Later on, when Dad earned some money, my parents had a toilet put in inside the apartment.

There was a balcony on three sides. It was a decent place to live, if perhaps not as comfortable as the apartment of Grandpa and Grandma Krasucki. 

We moved in PPS circles. I grew up in an environment that was politically charged in the positive sense. In the building where I lived, one of the front apartments was occupied by Kazimierz Czapinski, president of the Society of Worker Universities, a leading PPS activist.

[Kazimierz, Czapinski (1882-1941): Socialist activist, killed in Auschwitz concentration camp; Society of Worker Universities (Towarzystwo Uniwersytetow Robotniczych – TUR): a cultural and educational organization founded by the PPS in 1923.]

Dad’s party colleagues frequently met in our flat. Stanislaw Dubois 12 came to our apartment four or five times. It was a tremendous experience for me when Niedzialkowski came once [Niedzialkowski, Mieczyslaw (1893-1940): PPS activist and member of Parliament, murdered by the Germans].

From time to time my father would send me to Warecka Street, to the editorial offices of Robotnik [The Worker – a Socialist daily published in Warsaw] when an article had been confiscated, to try to get a copy. 

My parents’ friends were from both the Polish and Jewish communities. For Dad, the most important were his comrades in arms; that is, the circle of war veterans. His front-line comrades and their wives visited us.

If I were asked what each of them thought about the Jews, which party they voted for, I wouldn’t have the faintest idea. 

My parents spoke both Polish and Yiddish, save that between themselves they spoke only Polish.

I was a witness to a number of incidents when my father, as a PPS supporter, would get hot under the collar when among my mom’s family, which included very rich people and the dominant point of view might be described as politically centrist. In that family circle, my father represented the left.

I remember that when he once got into an argument with Rudolf, the husband of my mom’s younger sister Felicja, at first they spoke in Yiddish for a short while.

Then, when he was completely enraged, Dad said: ‘This I can explain to you only in Polish,’ and he switched into Polish. That is, for my dad Yiddish was no good for such refined problems.

Dad spoke Yiddish with his mother, but if I was present, they would exchange a few words of greeting in Yiddish, and then would turn to Polish lest I thought that they were talking about me behind my back. 

I was born in 1925 in Warsaw, two years after my parents got married. Since I learned to read and write quite early, they sent me to a kindergarten for Jewish children, which had Bundist leanings. It was located on Twarda Street.

I felt comfortable there. In that kindergarten I spent only a couple of weeks and I don’t remember unfortunately what language we spoke there, but it was Polish, probably. 

I was a gifted child. When I went to elementary school – I was sent to a normal public school on Hoza Street – Mom arranged for me to be placed in the second grade from the start. I could read, write, and count.

At seven I finished the second grade, terribly bored and with all A’s. By then I had read all the books written by [James Oliver] Curwood and [Karl] Mayas well as[Jack]London’s ‘Martin Eden’.

On the initiative of the headmistress, I was assigned right away to the fourth grade. In that way I completed elementary school at the age of ten. 

At the age of eleven, I was admitted to the first gymnasium grade at the Warsaw Merchant Congregation Gymnasium on Walicow Street in Warsaw [founded in 1906, in the prewar period it was a very popular gymnasium].

It wasn’t a Jewish gymnasium, but the kind of progressive school to which Jewish parents readily sent their children. That school was the first so-called experimental semi-boarding school in Poland.

We were taught by the best teachers. The headmaster was the famous Taubenszlacht, the director was Ordynski, and our history teacher was Lukaszewicz – who was to become president of Torun University after the war.

My Polish teacher and our class teacher was Stefan Zolkiewski [1911-1991, literary historian and critic]. His wife Wanda Zolkiewska, a writer, whom we dubbed Izyda, also taught Polish, and most of the boys were in love with her.

Lubelski, who looked like a caricature from Der Stuermer, taught German. Biology was taught by Michajlow, who was to become a distinguished biologist and deputy minister of higher education [Wlodzimierz Michajlow (1905-1994): Professor of Zoology].

That was a dream-come-true school. To this day I remember the attendance register from the third and final grade which I completed in 1939: Abramski, who was a Pole, next Antkowski, then came Altman, Birek, and Borensztain.

That meant that 60 percent of the students were Poles and 40 percent were Jews. Among the faculty there were both Poles and Jews. 

I was an all-As student but was constantly in trouble on account of my behavior, which didn’t involve any acts of thuggery on my part, but rather distribution of cribs, boredom, etc.

At the same time, in the company of boys two years older than me, I developed a kind of resourcefulness, stamina, an ability to adapt to difficult circumstances, and that skill later on had a number of consequences that were reflected in my experiences under the occupation [see German occupation of Poland] 13

Since I was a tall, overgrown boy, I made the school basketball team early in my school career. Ten players are needed for a basketball game – five players on the court and five on the reserve bench – and that ‘ten’ included six Poles and four Jews.

With childhood I associate the memories of summer vacations, which we used to spend near Warsaw: in Lesna Podkowa, Urle, Radosc, or Zielonka. Mom sent me to Radosc as a reward for graduating from elementary school.

There was a boarding house there for Jewish children from good homes, whereas I was quite a rascal who enjoyed a good fight and liked to climb trees – I was cut from a different cloth.

I felt awfully miserable in that boarding house because I had to wear this yellow sleeper suit and play cerceau [hoop]. On top of that, they kept telling me that the model I should live up to was a lovely boy wearing a check outfit, whose name was Zabotynski.

After three days of that talk, I couldn’t stand it anymore and threw a plate full of buttered cauliflower at Zabotynski.

The kid, who was quite a mamma’s boy, naturally burst into tears, the girls started to squeal, and the owner of the boarding house phoned Mom and told her:

‘I will give you back your money, but your son is sure to grow into a thug; I would appreciate it very much if you came and took him back.’ Mom fired back: ‘I have confidence in my son; please give him the money and he is old enough to return home by himself.’ In the morning, I ate my breakfast and left that wonderful vacation place by myself. 

I began to earn money while a gymnasium student: I shared the same desk with this noodle whose name was Rysio Meisner and who had very rich parents. They figured that I could be a mentor to Rysio and help him in his studies.

I was exempted from school tuition thanks to my good grades, plus I made 30 zloty a month from the Meisners. That was a huge amount of money! Of that sum, I gave 15 zloty back to my parents, which made me terribly proud of myself.

During my school years, my hobbies were sports, books, and music. My parents were both music lovers and I was brought up in a cult of music; Mom used to take me to matinee performances at the Philharmonic Hall and organized morning music concerts at my elementary school.

When a gramophone appeared in our apartment at one point, my friends were at a loss why we didn’t have any records with popular hits, just Chopin, Beethoven, and Mozart.

I recall that when I was twelve my parents took me along to the Grand Theatre to see ‘A Night in Venice’ [an operetta by Austrian composer Johann Strauss (1825-1899]. I remember how proud and happy I felt when I heard the first bars of the overture.

What I say about my artistic and cultural experiences, about my exposure to art, also relates to my sense of belonging to the Jewish people. Dad used to buy The Worker and Our Review.

He read Our Review as a Jew, and The Worker as a PPS member. I read both those newspapers. Our Review was a newspaper that carried excellent theater reviews and published wonderful serialized novels; for example, Vicki Baum [1888-1960, a popular Austrian writer] or ‘Colas Breugnon’ [a novel by French writer Romain Rolland (1866-1944)] in installments.

In that paper one could read a great deal about culture and the Jews. It was from that source that I learned who Tuwim 14 and Slonimski 15 were. Mom also paid attention to that issue when she gave me books to read. Reading The Jewess from Toledo [by Lion Feuchtwanger] 16, I was aware that it was written by a Jew.

I knew that regardless of the language in which a particular book had been written, be it German, English, French, or Polish, it was written by a Jew and it was about my people. When listening to Mendelssohn-Bartholdy [Felix, (1809-1847), German composer, conductor and pianist], I learned from Mom who the Mendelssohn family was. 

My parents weren’t nationalists of any sort, but they did teach me to be proud of my Jewishness. I believe that my sense of belonging to the Jewish people, an unquestionable fact from a genetic or genealogical point of view, consists simply in my attachment to this people, the sense of my being part of it, the respect I have for its customs, the pride I feel for its achievements and the distress I suffer because of its negative characteristics, of which it has quite a few, to be sure. 

My attitude toward religion developed under the influence of the social circle in which I grew up. My father was a smart man who never talked down to me.

What he told me went more or less like this:

‘If in order not to become a scoundrel, a thief, a thug or a bum, you need to fear God and His punishment, then you must be religious. If you can be a good man without that fear, then remember that I am a decent man without religion.’ Having to deal with opposite poles – an atheistic father and his religious mother, that is, Grandma Kaferman, and Grandpa Krasucki – I had to find a way out of that dilemma.

The path I adopted was that of cautious conformism. It meant that when I found myself at a Friday religious dinner at Grandma’s, then I participated in it with gusto. When I happened to be at my other Grandma’s and got my ‘befshtychek’as usual, then my own conscience remained untroubled, even though I was aware that Grandpa ate kosher.

Of course, I wasn’t boycotting the Jewish religion, as I absolutely felt no need or desire for that, but I understood its interpretation, which was very wisely imparted to me by Grandpa Krasucki, according to which that religion was the customs of my people.

So if I’m supposed to eat matzah on a certain holiday, I will eat it not on account of God, but because of my identification with that tradition. 

My mom was irreligious, but at home my parents took care to preserve the outward forms of Jewish holidays, which meant that we had matzah, for example. Father wasn’t opposed to them, for he made a distinction between religion and customs.

In fact, he enjoyed the customs and found the cooking tasty and splendid; he would even demand traditional Jewish dishes from Mom, such as Jewish caviar. He believed that those customs should be respected because they were the customs of our people, but eating matzah doesn’t need to have much in common with religion. 

My father fought a desperate battle to have me exempted from the obligation to receive a final grade in religion. For him, it was a matter that had to with the Free Poland for which he had fought.

Father said: ‘my son is a Jew, no question about that. However, I don’t want him to study religion if he doesn’t have to.’

As it was impossible not to have a grade in religion in elementary school, the headmistress, Mrs. Wysznacka, also a PPS member, suggested to me the following solution: ‘If you wish, you can come and sit in on the Roman Catholic class. If you are curious, you can go to the Protestant classes.

Besides, it would be a good thing if you could drop in on the teacher of Jewish religion on Hoza Street.’ So I went to see that teacher; he gave me a textbook and discussed issues of Judaism with me. 

I took very seriously the view that I should be a decent person without fearing God. I finished elementary school with an A in religion, even though I didn’t fully deserve it since I hadn’t studied any particular religion systematically.

In any case, when our entire school went to the Savior church for the opening of each school year, then I would go along on occasion but not always.

In general, I went motivated by curiosity or in the expectation that once the service was over, we would go to play soccer, for whenever we went to church, we didn’t have to go back to school afterwards.

On Yom Kippur I didn’t have to attend school, I was entitled not to go to school, and in fact, I didn’t. I was just a regular school kid, so when given a chance to have a day off school, why the hell should I go to school?

When I was 13, Grandpa and Grandma Krasucki arranged a bar mitzvah for me on Nowowiejska Street. Personally, I wasn’t too keen about it, but my father and I decided that I had to go through that ceremony since it was required by Jewish custom. However, I didn’t attach any great significance to it. A teacher was hired to prepare me.

I remember that during the ceremony I managed to mutter some words on my own, for more I had to look at my crib notes. Still, to this day I know the Hebrew characters. 

On the whole, I didn’t encounter any manifestations of anti-Semitism in my social circle, because of the neighborhood we lived in, the PPS community, and the type of school I attended.

On the other hand, my dad hit me only once in my life and that was related to an encounter with anti-Semitism. It happened like this: When I was about ten, there were twin brothers, Kazik and Maniek, whose last name I don’t recall, who also lived at 7 Hoza Street.

Those two boys were the terror of the courtyard. The two of them beat me up, probably because I was a Jew. I went home crying and told my father what had happened.

Father slapped me in the face and said: ‘Go back to the courtyard and take care of this business!’

My father was keen on bringing me up as a man, and he simply got mad that I was sniveling instead of trying to handle the problem. I waited for a moment when the brothers got separated, and then thrashed each of them separately.

I came home covered in scratches but happy. Then Dad was terribly nice to me and he took me later to a fine movie house, ‘PAN’, on Nowy Swiat, where we saw Charlie Chaplin in his film Modern Times. That was Father’s reward to me for not giving in to those kids.

In our gymnasium it was accepted that boys made friends with each other in school, shared a desk, played sport together, and everybody got the same treatment. I remember an incident that happened in our school: in my class there was one Altman, he was an excellent student; he has remained in my memory because I used to compete with him constantly.

A boy whose name was Gobanowicz beat up Altman at school. The next day I went up to Gobanowicz and said to him, ‘You shit, you won’t hit smaller kids.’ I punched him on his snout and we started to fight.

I beat him up horribly, and that affair had a very unusual ending. The parents of that Gobanowicz, who were Endeks 17, came to school protesting that Jews were bullying their son.

So Zolkiewski, our class supervisor, called up my mom from the school – the telephone number in our apartment was 83559; I remember that number to this day – and told her laughing: ‘Mrs. Krasucki, there has been a complaint against your boy.

He is bullying Poles.’ Zolkiewski was a wonderful man. Mom went to the school, and later on that story was recounted as a funny anecdote. But terrible things happened, too. Once I was given a soccer ball and went out along with other boys from my school to play soccer.

A bunch of hoodlums came along and when they found out that the ball was mine, they took it away from me. If that hadn’t been a Jewish ball, then perhaps they would have given it back.

In terms of my friends, I had three groups of buddies. The first group comprised the boys with whom I had been friends since elementary school and who went on to attend the same gymnasium.

Among them was a Polish kid, Zdzisiek Goscinski, a friend with whom I shared a desk both in elementary school and in gymnasium. The Goscinskis lived on Hoza Street right across from us. His father worked for the ZUS [Social Insurance Administration], and was a member of the PPS.

That was another bond that existed between us. In the future they were to provide assistance to my mother. When my mother escaped from the ghetto, they arranged a ‘Kennkarte’ [German identification document] for her and gave her all the appropriate advice.

That group also included Julek Konopka, the son of Jerzy Roland, a well-known actor; Roland – was his stage name.

Julek was a child of a mixed marriage – his dad was a Pole and his mother was a beautiful Jewish woman, who was a dancer at the Grand Theater.

The other members of that group were two brothers, sons of a Warsaw streetcar driver. The five of us used to play tennis and bridge together, and go to matinee showings of westerns. 

My second group of buddies were the kids with whom I played basketball. And the third group were friends with whom I shared intellectual interests. That group included Adamski, a Polish kid.

I was the editor of a classroom newsletter, which was called The Creaky Desks, while Abramski wrote a serialized novel for consecutive issues of that newsletter.

In addition, I penned satirical poems. The third buddy was one Marek Hausman. He was a Jew, the son of a physician; he had a twin sister.

They lived somewhere on Szpitalna Street in the downtown district. That Marek Hausman was a fantastic kid, an awfully voracious reader. Abramski was interested in literature, too; by then he must have already read every book: Lechon 18, Lesmian 19; my knowledge of half of world literature came from him.

Marek Hausman – he was the stuff of a great university professor; he was a walking encyclopedia. We discussed books, debated politics, and went to see ambitious films that addressed serious issues.

I remember how profoundly affected we were by the famous pacifist feature called Comrades in Arms. An excellent movie – I remember it to this day.

I and my buddies from that third group had a dream that when we all went to university, albeit to different departments, we would be like a Masonic lodge of sorts, an inseparable trio of buddies. 

My first girlfriend was Halinka, a Pole and daughter of a Polish police inspector. Even before I started to make money on my own, I saved the 30 groszy of the streetcar fare by running to school on foot, so as to be able to invite Halinka for ice cream at ‘The Italian’s’ on Aleje Ujazdowskie [vey popular cafe in prewar Warsaw].

It was thanks to those friends that no Polish family, no Polish boy or girl was exotic for me. I was free from any feeling of strangeness. Without that ‘training’ of being among Poles, to put it in cynical terms, familiarity with the Polish mentality, with the Polish boy, the Polish girl, with the contradictions inherent in the Polish character, I probably wouldn’t have survived the war. 

  • During the war

Then came September 1939 [also see Annexation of Eastern Poland] 20. I remember when airplanes appeared in the sky and the war started.

On 3rdSeptember Britain and France declared war on Germany, so I along with thousands of other Warsaw kids congregated in front of the British embassy.

There we sang ‘It’s a long way [to Tipperary]’ [British soldiers’ song from WWI]; next we went to the French embassy, where we sang ‘Madelon’; the impulse drove us on to the Czechoslovak embassy on Koszykowa Street, which had already been closed, where General Svoboda [Svoboda, Ludvik (1895-1979): Czechoslovak Communist activist; in 1939, commander of the Czech and Slovak Legion brigade in Poland] appeared before us, so we yelled there: ‘Long live our Czech brothers!,’ and we had an awfully good time altogether, until we realized what war was really like. 

People knew who Hitlerwas and nobody had any doubts about that; on the other hand, we didn’t foresee then that it would take such a shape or form. Mother tended towards extreme pessimism.

The rest of the family, however, retained these positive notions about the Germans. Dad evacuated eastwards, obeying the famous order of Colonel Umiastowski 21, and got as far as Lutsk.

My father reasoned that this was a mortal enemy, and decided to escape from Warsaw as both a Jew and a Socialist. The rest of the family stayed put. I stood on Hoza Street when the German troops paraded in front of Adolf Hitler on Aleje Ujazdowskie. After all, I lived about 200-300 yards from the route of that parade. 

A few days later, a regular occupation was already in place. Several times, when I went to Walicow Street to find out what would happen to our school, on Zelazna and adjacent streets I witnessed the cutting off of beards and side locks of Jewish men.

One day they were looking for people to fill in trenches. As I was a tall kid, they took me along with some other Jews to do that work.

Mom found my documents and came to take me back, for the announcement was that only those over 16 were to report for labor; she was able to prove that I wasn’t yet 16 and took me home in triumph.

Mom had a very good appearance [i.e. she didn’t look Jewish], so that even after the introduction of the armband regulation 22, we didn’t put them on. 

I was such a proud kid that I felt hurt and humiliated by notices that said ‘No entry for Jews.’ My own helplessness and the constant threat of humiliation irritated me.

Moreover, my own assessment of what could befall us from the Germans was very pessimistic; my attitude was so naively patriotic – by what right have they trampled on my Poland!

I told my family that I couldn’t stand it any more, that it would all end very badly, and that I didn’t want to live under such conditions.

I realized that it was an entire system, that it was growing and there would be more of it. After all, in Wawer they had already killed a mass of people [a community close to Warsaw; in December 1939 the Germans executed 107 people there], so I reasoned: if they had knocked off a crowd of Poles, would they spare Jews?

I made up my mind to run away to my father. Mom was the only one in the family to approve of my departure, if after a long hesitation.

My family was focused on survival and clung to the belief that it would be possible to adjust and survive somehow. I said that ‘somehow’ wasn’t good enough for me, and while there was still the slightest chance, I was going to cross the border illegally to get to Dad in Lutsk.

My family had to accept my decision. Later on, they all moved to the ghetto and all of them, with the exception of my mom, died there. 

I left Warsaw in January 1940. At the time I was 14 years and a few months old. I found myself in the position of a grown-up man. After several adventures, I reached Dad. The first thing he told me was: ‘Son, remember that if you tell anyone that I was in the PPS, you won’t see me again.’

In Lutsk, Dad faced various complications both as an escapee and as a PPS member. I was also aware that I could get into trouble, but not for being a Jew. Our first problem was that we were to be deported as refugees.

[The reference is to mass deportations into the interior of the Soviet Union carried out by the Soviet authorities on the Polish territory occupied by the Red Army in September 1939.

Their first victims were members of the Polish intelligentsia, civic activists, etc. Those deportations took place in the context of terror.] Father, who wasn’t lacking in imagination, had the idea that we would board a passenger boat that cruised the river Styr and wait out the transports on that boat.

Thus, we traveled up and down the Styr for two days. We returned to Lutsk after the deportations had ended. Dad obtained a passport, but had to report to the police periodically. At that time Dad’s youngest sister, Aunt Lucja, was deported to Siberia with her husband. 

As a chemist, Father became ‘glavtech inspektor,’ which means chief technical inspector, in a cooperative of photographers. [Following the Soviet model, in the occupied areas] private photography shops were closed down and a cooperative of photographers was established in their place.

‘Nachalstvo’ [management] was brought from Kiev, but they didn’t have the faintest idea about photography. Later, Father became chief accountant in a restaurant that had just been nationalized.

After all, he had attended school under the tsarist regime, knew Russian, and was thus an ideal candidate for chief accountant. In this way Dad came to hold two jobs. All that time I attended a Polish school, and I also worked on the railroads for a period of time. 

In June 1941 the Germans came [see Great Patriotic War] 23. They behaved atrociously from day one. They really took their gloves off over there.

Besides the Germans, there were a great many Ukrainian fascists who informed, exposed, tormented, and generally geared up for the bloodbath, which in any case they carried out a year later.

Father was taken five days after the entry of the Germans. I don’t know who fingered my father, or whether he was denounced as a Jew or an educated Pole. One day I said good-bye to Dad and told him I was going to meet some friends, and when I came back, he was gone.

At first, they held them in the municipal park. I went towards the park; from a distance I could see a crowd of men, but I couldn’t get any closer, since anybody who got close was shot at.

The following morning they took them away somewhere; it turned out that they finished off all those men. I didn’t get to see Dad’s body. Only many years after the downfall of the Soviet Union was there an exhumation and a ceremony. 

My friends told me that I could count on them. Risking their own lives, they went with me to the Ukrainian police where they testified that I was a Pole, and that was how I got my identity papers. Nobody fingered me as a Jew. That was in Volhynia, where the Poles behaved very decently. 

In mid-September 1941, the Lutsk ghetto 24 was established. I saw my worst conjectures confirmed, which once again determined my subsequent fate. I said that I wouldn’t surrender to the Germans voluntarily and that I wouldn’t go into any ghetto.

All the adults around me were convinced that my attitude was foolish, but I dug my heels in. 

One of the people who went into the ghetto left me his watch with the request that I sell it and send him food. Several days later I managed to sell the watch and buy some pork fat and a small bag of flour and groats; next, I found a man who agreed to take it into the ghetto.

He told me that he had done it successfully, but ever since I have been tormented by doubt as to whether he told me the truth and if that other man, as he was dying in the Lutsk ghetto, didn’t think that I had swindled him.

I stayed in Lutsk as long I could, but when I started getting warnings from all sides that my position was becoming increasingly precarious, I decided to escape from the town. My teacher gave me directions to a Polish self-defense group that was being organized in the area.

The commander of that group – Master Sergeant Franciszek Adamowicz – took me in, and ten days before Christmas Day 1941 I became an underground fighter. The group comprised some Polish reserve officers, a few Russians – soldiers who had managed to escape from German captivity – and some Jewish boys from the areas of Klevan, Olyka, etc.

In that partisan unit I went through the entire training and took part in skirmishes with the enemy. We had to deal with the Ukrainian police all the time. The one guy about whom I know for sure that I shot at him and he took a tumble was a Ukrainian policeman. 

In spring 1942 I reported to Adamowicz that I wanted to go to Warsaw because my mother was there, and perhaps I could save her. I went to see a friend of my parents –Puhaczewski.

He was, of course, in the Home Army 25 or AK; that was soon after the AK was created. Puhaczewski knew that Mom was in the ghetto because she had called him up once.

Puhaczewski fed me and said: ‘we advise you against going to the ghetto. We will try and see if we can locate your mom, but I’m going to send you to Lublin region, where a partisan unit is being formed to receive airdrops.’

I spent several days in Warsaw; it so happened that the gentleman at whose place I was staying had a daughter of my age. So that girl and I went together, pretending to be some happy couple, to see the ghetto [they probably rode the ‘Aryan’ streetcar that transited the ghetto]. And in fact, I saw what it was like inside.

I must say that at that moment I felt something like fear at the thought that if I went in there, I would be done for, for sure. I saw those faces, saw everything, and it was terrifying.

I didn’t stand a chance. The upshot was that Puhaczewski told me that if he found my mom, he would take care of her in some way, and I was sent off to the partisan detachment. 

That is how I found myself in the detachment of Jaskolka in the Western Lublin region. That was the Pulawy-Deblin district. I arrived at the unit with a strong recommendation; a highly placed official in the Home Army had sent me to it, after all.

The mission of that detachment was to receive airdrops. In the partisan unit I passed for a Pole, but the commander obviously surmised that I was a Jew. He ordered me to report to him if anyone asked me unnecessary questions. He told me to keep in the rear during combat missions.

Contrary to common belief, the most important and the most exposed soldier in a unit is not the one who goes first, but the one who comes last.

Jaskolka knew that although the rear of the detachment was the most dangerous position, I could handle it; and while I was at the back no comrade from the unit would shoot me in my back: ‘You will hold your own against the Germans, and no one else will knock you off, either.’ Of course, nobody ever tried to knock me off; in fact, I felt rather comfortable with the other guys. Nobody in the unit said that they loved Jews, but there was general condemnation of the Holocaust.

I remember that once we entered some little town the day after its Jews had been taken away. We found a situation where local inhabitants were fighting, with knives drawn, over pots and eiderdowns that the Jews had left behind.

I remember that Jaskolka spat and said: ‘It boggles your mind; worse than animals, worse than pigs.’

In April 1943, I reported to Jaskolka that I wanted to go to Warsaw. He gave his consent several weeks later. I had great identity papers, a well-planned route, and I knew whom I could turn to for help.

I reached Warsaw without any problems; the rising in the Warsaw ghetto was in its third day [see Warsaw Ghetto Uprising] 26. There was no news of my family. It was known that horrific things were going on, but exactly what and how – that we didn’t know. Under the circumstances, there was no use in trying, and a few days later I was, consistent with the orders I had received, on my way back to the unit.

I wasn’t aware that Mom had come out of the ghetto in February 1942, two months before I arrived in Warsaw with the intention of getting her out.

Our neighbors, the Goscinskis, had arranged for a ‘Kennkarte’ for her, Mom had left the ghetto, and gone to the Lublin region.

There she became involved in underground education activities. My mother was the only one to leave the ghetto, while the rest of the family remained there.

Meanwhile, the train on which I was returning to my partisan unit in the Lublin region was stopped several miles before Radom, and all the young men were arrested, including me.

The Germans were looking for someone from the underground; they weren’t at all curious who I was. They were after someone else. That was how, in a matter that had nothing to do with me, without my being in any way connected with the person who had been reported to be traveling on that train, I ended up at the Gestapo in Radom.

The interrogation was horrible; I had matches put under my nails. I found myself in a totally absurd position. Had they asked me any questions that I could have answered, possible that they might have forced some information out of me, but they didn’t.

They simply wanted to identify the guy they had zeroed in on among the group of young men they had detained. 

From Radom they transported our group to the central Gestapo prison in Cottbus. There I was kept in several locations, and finally, in the first days of July 1943, I arrived in Stutthof 27.

I was held there as a Polish political prisoner; my files said I was a suspected partisan. I remained in Stutthof until 1945, then I went on a death march 28 as they drove us first toward Lebork [100 km west of the Stutthof concentration camp] and then back, because our troops were already near Kolobrzeg [on the west coast of the Baltic, site of a very fierce battle between Germans and the Polish Army in March 1945].

It was a death march as described in the literature; they shot anyone who couldn’t keep up; we didn’t get any food. Being a young man, I managed to hold out somehow.

  • After the war

On 12thMarch 1945 we were liberated by the Red Army in Puck [50 km east of Lembork]. Naturally, my initial feeling after the liberation was joy, a sense of relief, but right after that came a desire to get on with my life, obtain food and a roof over my head. I was much older and my way of thinking was also very different.

When I had come to Warsaw in April 1943, I had seen a terrifying picture of a city in ruins. On Hoza Street where we used to live there was nothing, just a heap of rubble. Subsequently, someone told me that Mom had stayed alive until the Warsaw Uprising 29 and was killed during it.

Thus, I thought that there was no use in trying to find my mother, and that the rest of the family was dead. I decided to go to Lodz to the Goscinskis.

In Lodz I signed up for Lower Silesia and was one of the first settlers to arrive in Lubin county [see Settlers in Lower Silesia] 30.

In Lubin, where I arrived as the tenth or perhaps eleventh Polish settler, there were several Jews. Among them was the first physician who had miraculously survived the war in the Radom region; he was the only person capable of providing medical assistance there.

He and I talked about what to do next, but I didn’t have any intention of emigrating at all; I simply didn’t take that option into consideration. For me, emigration would be tantamount to putting up a white flag, to capitulation.

I reasoned that I wouldn’t allow anybody to squeeze me out of here, nobody could throw me out of here; I wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of saying that I had got out of Poland.

I understood those who were leaving; later on, I was happy for the establishment of Israel and I welcomed the good news that came from there.

It was members of my own nation that had chosen that path, and they are close to my heart, but myself, I have never wanted to depart from Poland. 

In 1946 my aunt Lucja and her husband returned from Siberia. We had long talks. They said they were emigrating not because they didn’t want to be in Poland, but because they had become acquainted with the pleasures of Siberia [Poles deported to the interior of the Soviet Union were kept in inhuman conditions and forced to do hard labor].

The new Poland wouldn’t be truly independent and they wished to get farther away from the Soviet Union that they had learned to hate heartily. I told them that I understood their point of view perfectly well, but I wouldn’t join them because Poland was my home.

In this country I am not a tolerated guest, a guest performer, nor had I found myself here by chance. Here I am simply at home, and that’s my view on that matter, while I have nothing against any other different viewpoint. 

The revival of Jewish life filled me with great joy. After all, Lower Silesia had a huge Jewish community; besides my own organization, the OMTUR 31, there was also Zukunft 32, a Bundist youth organization.

Bundist labor cooperatives were being established. Members of the OMTUR and the Zukunft paraded together dressed in blue shirts and red ties. That was a large and fine community.

I took sympathetic notice of the revival of religious life, even though, as I have already stated many times, that wasn’t an area in which I was interested. I didn’t hide my background or pretend to be someone other than I was in any way. I mean that I didn’t pretend to be either a Catholic or a pious Jew.

After the war, a change came over me that forced me to exist without certainty as to where I would sleep the next night. I simply turned into a brute. Twice I made a desperate attempt to build something like a home. On both occasions I had to accept with regret that I was simply not made for it.

In 1947 I moved to Wroclaw, and it was also during that period that I found my mom. The circumstances under which I found her were really incredible. Namely, my love from the Lutsk period, Alla, came to see me in Wroclaw.

When I was with the partisans, I thought that after the war I would go back Lutsk, find Alla somewhere, and perhaps together we could build something solid. She was the girl of my dreams. Alla gave me a powerful motivation to survive.

After the war, Alla and her mother repatriated from Volhynia to Czechoslovakia, and from that country Alla came to visit me in Wroclaw. I took her to Warsaw to show her the place where I had grown up.

In the courtyard of our house on Hoza Street, I was unexpectedly embraced and kissed by our prewar janitor. Alla and I spent several hours at his place; together we downed a bottle and told each other our wartime stories.

On the following day, my mom, who was already working on Wiejska Street [the location of the Parliament building], decided, for no clear reason, to have another look at the rubble of our former house.

Mr. Walenty came out to her and said: ‘Good morning to you, Mrs. Krasucki, but I must tell you that your son, that terrible rascal, has turned into a hunk of a man.’ At that moment Mom fainted.

Only after he brought her around did my mom start to interrogate him as to where I was, how to find me, what I was up to. Since our conversation had been accompanied by copious drinking, the janitor didn’t remember much; in the end it was established that I was somewhere in the west, probably in Lower Silesia, perhaps in Wroclaw. In the meantime I said good-bye to Alla and went back to Wroclaw. 

On Monday an excited colleague of mine brings me a newspaper where I read the following: Stefania alias Stella Krasucka, domiciled before the war in Warsaw, 7 Hoza Street, is looking for her son, Ludwik, who is most likely living in Lower Silesia, and then it said in brackets – probably in Wroclaw.

Please call such and such a phone number with any information.

There was a post office nearby; I ordered a long-distance call and had to wait four or five hours for the connection – that was how the phones worked then – at last they tell me to go the telephone booth and I can hear Mom’s voice... The year was 1947, the first days of April. At that time Mom was working in Warsaw in the Parliament library, which she had created after the war.

I joined the PPS and OMTUR after the war. Those were the early days, the first weeks after the liberation, and I had a rather blurred picture of what was going on in Poland, so I decided to follow my father’s example.

I went to Lubin as a PPS and OMTUR member. There I established local PPS and OMTUR organizations; founded the sports club ‘Zawisza Lubin’, and in general busied myself with dozens of tasks to become, in the end, the [county] secretary of the PPS. It seems that I distinguished myself, as they transferred me to Wroclaw, where I was named city secretary. 

Wroclaw was one of the cities where the local PPS organizations were strongest. In Wroclaw I had three times as many PPS members as there were members of the PPR 33.

As a result, it was in Wroclaw that the historical 27thand last congress of the PPS party was held. And I, a 22-year-old brat, was the host of that congress. In that way I became a PPS activist.

At the Wroclaw PPS congress, I gave a very good speech; Cyrankiewicz remembered me from that speech [Cyrankiewicz, Jozef (1911-1989): from 1945 secretary general of the PPS, implemented the Communist-imposed plan for the merger of the PPS and the PPR], and in spring 1948 I was promoted to the post of PPS provincial secretary in Gdansk. 

Naive as I was, I realized that the PPR would obviously have an advantage, but I didn’t expect that it would eventually take the shape of a headlong rush into Stalinism.

I tried not to allow any wrongs to be done to people under the guise of purging the party; especially that numerous experts had joined the PPS on the Baltic Coast.

Those were Kwiatkowski’s people [Kwiatkowski, Eugeniusz (1888-1974): prewar Polish Minister of Industry and Trade], who had built up Poland’s maritime economy before the war.

I opposed their expulsion from the party. The upshot of all that, combined with my past affiliation with the Home Army, was that while I was supposedly the local leader of the PPS, two days prior to the unification congress [at the Unification Congress held on 15thDecember 1948 the PPR and the PPS were merged, resulting in the founding of the Communist party, Polska Zjednoczona Partia Robotnicza (PZPR, Polish United Workers Party).

The PZPR was established on terms imposed by the PPR, following the expulsion of independent-minded leaders of the PPS], I learned that I was no longer to come to work, that from now on I wouldn’t be given any assignment. My party membership was suspended for almost a year after the unification. 

Under the circumstances, I decided not to waste my time and I enrolled on a German Studies course at Torun University. It was only in November 1949 that I was given another job.

I became head of the Department of Science, Education and Culture in Gdansk. I founded two theatres and brought about the establishment of the Baltic Opera; I still have friends from that time. 

In 1952 I was transferred to Poznan to a post that was similar to the one I had held in Gdansk [i.e., head of the Department of Science, Education and Culture].

On my departure, they had given me very good references, with the reservation, however, that I wasn’t ideologically sound, and lacked a sufficiently solid grounding in theory.

The head of the personnel department in the Central Committee then summoned me. One of the questions he put to me was: ‘Comrade, you were with the Home Army, and the Home Army was in general anti-Semitic, dominated by the Endeks.’

That wasn’t exactly the case, but rather a notion he had. ‘I would like you to tell me in your own words how you managed to stay alive?’ That made my blood boil, and I replied: ‘Comrade Tokarski, why should the two of us waste our time, as you have enough power to eliminate that mistake.’

[The question put by the personnel head was in fact anti-Semitic, as it implied that any Jew who survived the war must have committed contemptible acts. Krasucki’s response includes an allusion to the mass detentions carried out by the state security forces during the Stalinist period.]

In Poznan I finished my university studies in 1954. From 1954 I lived in Szczecin. The ferment that was to lead to the October crisis began in 1956 [see Polish October 1956] 34, and in early April 1956 I called for deep changes in the leadership of the Communist party, the rehabilitation of the PPS, and the return of Gomulka [Gomulka, Wladyslaw (1905-1982), a Communist activist who was removed from his post for a rightist-nationalist deviation in 1948, and was rehabilitated in 1956].

That caused a big commotion. Following the Poznan events [In June 1956 workers in Poznan staged strikes, which ended up in street fighting suppressed by military units], I was instrumental in organizing a big meeting of party activists in Szczecin, during which I presented a diametrically opposite assessment of the Poznan events, arguing that it was the last call for the reform of the system.

My PZPR membership rights were suspended and I was deprived the right to publish. On an earlier occasion, while I was already living in Szczecin, I did my first translations of Heine, and had a small volume of his poetry and a study about that German poet published. 

In late summer 1956 I was transferred to Warsaw. I worked in Trybuna Ludu [a daily published in Warsaw in 1948-1990, organ of the Central Committee of the PZPR] and in Zycie Warsawy [a popular Warsaw daily], and published articles in Polityka [a socio-political weekly, which expressed the views of moderately reformist groups within the PZPR].

In Warsaw I put into practice my idea that as a student of German culture I should specialize in the ‘Storm and Stress’ period, the era of the German Enlightenment and German Romanticism, and over several years, that is between 1958 and 1961, I lectured in the German Studies department. In February 1960, I successfully defended my Ph.D. thesis.

I am the author of four film scripts, including three written jointly with my friend Ryszard Pietruski [a popular Polish actor]. One of those screenplays served as the basis for a movie entitled Wilczy bilet [Outcast], which was shown for the first time in 1964. In the years 1965–1970 I taught German drama at the Drama School in Warsaw. 

During the March events of 1968 [see Gomulka Campaign] 35, a sort of proscription list was in circulation, which included the names of all the Jews. My name was added at the bottom.

That fact shows that they had a problem with my case because of my service with the Home Army and because I wasn’t an old-guard communist, but in the end they added my name as well.

Later I was barred from the meetings of the editorial team and subjected to all possible harassments. My salary was also cut. I was very good friends with Michal Lucki, a very talented reporter, who couldn’t bear the situation any more and decided to emigrate.

The editor-in-chief of Trybuna Ludu called me in and asked whether or not I intended to go. I said: ‘No, I can tell you right away that the only crime I will commit in Poland is that if you throw me out, I will slip back over the border illegally.’ 

Some of my colleagues at Trybuna Ludu behaved very decently towards me, but others didn’t. I must say that the openness, intensity, and sheer boorishness of the anti-Semitic campaign surpassed my wildest expectations.

As far as the official anti-Semitism cultivated by the PRL [the Polish Communist state] and the PZPR is concerned, I think that the main danger it represents has to do with the fact that the generation of protagonists of that campaign is still around in public life.

Much scum came to the surface at that time and has remained in public life ever since. For several years, I was to serve as a revisionist bogeyman within the PZPR.

There were attacks against me, as a hidden enemy of Socialism, in roughly every other newspaper. At the time I found them irritating; I never thought that one day those attacks would be a source of glory for me.

Throughout my life I’ve had both Jewish and Polish friends – that distinction didn’t mean anything to me. I’ve always had good friends who were Jews. I was friends with Arnold Mostowicz 36, Marian Turski [journalist and Jewish activist], my colleagues from Polityka, etc.

Those were normal relationships, just as I maintained friendly relations with many Poles all the time. 

In 1970 my mother died. She was buried in the Powazki cemetery. Mom was a typical representative of the Polish intelligentsia of Jewish descent, and the Powazki is the cemetery of the Polish intelligentsia.

Mom was also entitled to a grave there on account of her work for the Parliament. Anyhow, that institution took care of her burial. 

Mom had always kept in touch with our family in Israel, and I kept up those contacts after her death. I went to Israel for the first time in spring 1988.

My father’s two sisters lived there with their families: Aunt Lucja Margulies has two daughters, Batja (Bronia) and Vita, and Aunt Wonia Richter also has two children – Ryfka and Zeev.

Bronia is a physician; she and I have kept in touch; she used to call me up. As a matter of fact, they came to visit me before I went to Israel. Lucja, my Dad’s youngest sister, had an apartment in Israel that was crammed with Polish books.

They knew what plays were on in Warsaw, in which theater. They used to stand in long lines in order to buy a single new book that had just arrived in the famous Polish bookstore. 

While in Israel, I was instrumental in making possible the visit by Peres, as minister of foreign affairs of the incumbent government. That visit contributed to the ‘unblocking’ of relations between Poland and Israel.

As a well-known journalist, I had a conversation with one of Peres’ advisors, went to see various people, and the upshot was that Peres came to Poland after years of complete freeze in mutual relations. 

I’ve been married three times. From my first marriage I have a daughter, Monika, born in 1946, who has a degree in Polish studies, works as a radio journalist, and lives in Wroclaw. Regrettably, I have no grandchildren.

In the case of my daughter, who is a child of a mixed marriage, she is a Jewess to a greater degree than I am a Jew.

I tend to react to all issues that concern me as a Jew or those related with various aspects of a broadly understood Jewish concern in a common-sense sort of way, with due consideration, dispassionately, whereas my daughter’s response is similar in general orientation, but much more emotional.

Because of that, we tell each other in jest that while I am a 100 percent Jew, she is a 200 percent Jewess. She is simply allergic to any type of anti-Semitism, chauvinism, and xenophobia.

She is very much interested in the folklore and history of the Jews, reads a lot about these subjects, but is not religious. Like myself, she doesn’t have any emotional need to emphasize her identity, which used to be somewhat blurred; she simply considers that everything in her life is the way it should be. 

My first two marriages were short affairs. My third wife is Alina Elzbieta nee Kaniewska, born in 1931 in Warsaw. This is my true marriage; it is now just 43 years since that wonderful day in 1961 when we met for the first time.

I’m very close to my spouse; she is an ethnic Pole, very strongly attached to me, a woman who shared with me my fate and vicissitudes with stamina and fortitude and with the maximum of goodwill.

We are a tried-and-true marriage. My wife is from the intelligentsia; her father was a lawyer and was killed during the Occupation. Herself, she has a degree in music and has had a forty-year career as actress, singer, and concert soloist.

It is very important that my wife, who is stepmother to my daughter, has an excellent relationship with her; they understand each other perfectly, and importantly, they find it very easy to form a common front against me.

My own attitude to the events of 1989 37 was and remains a positive one; however, even then I perceived the potential threat of populism, was afraid that democracy would fall into the typical rut of Polish anarchy, the ‘liberum veto’ [the right to block any legislation by a single individual in the diet of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth in the 17thand 18thcenturies].

I feared a bit that a dangerous gap would open up in Poland between a small group of very wealthy individuals and the large mass of people whose very foundations of existence have been painfully shaken by the transformations. And these three fears of mine have been realized.

For the last four years I’ve been working for the Association of Jewish Combatants and Casualties in World War II. Prior to this, I handled compensations paid to Polish Jews from a Swiss fund.

Arnold Mostowicz invited me to participate in this work. While he was president of the Association, I was elected, on his initiative, its secretary general. Due to the poor state of his health I carried on the work, and subsequently I was elected president of the Association.

This is an important task in my life for two reasons. First, you age more slowly when you have plenty of work. Second, in my life I have done many things, which were – in my opinion at a given time – useful; I think now that some of them were positive, about a few others I think with a measure of irony or even embarrassment, but during all that time I never occupied myself with community work, in the narrow sense of the term, among Jews and for Jews.

The last six years are the completion and conclusion of my biography, and as such they are of great significance for me. 

Currently, several hundred young people in Poland have decided to return to their Jewish roots and are doing so with huge enthusiasm. I consider this development positive, but I don’t overrate its importance.

No multitudes of young enthusiastic Jews and Jewesses will appear in this country; this affair concerns several hundred individuals.

It is good that they are here, since their presence ensures a measure of continuity and some kind of survival, but it isn’t possible to change the facts of history. I’ve never shared the naive belief that there will be some great renaissance here.

Of course, it is with tremendous satisfaction that I greet any manifestations of this process, but I wouldn’t call it a renaissance, since renaissance is altogether a very big word. 

  • Glossaries:

The Kingdom of Poland (other names: the Congress Kingdom, Congress Kingdom of Poland): founded in 1815 by a decision of the Congress of Vienna.

It extended throughout the lands of the Kingdom of Warsaw with the exception of the Poznan and Bydgoszcz provinces and the city of Cracow. It had an area (until 1912) of 128,500 km2and a population of 3.3m in 1816 and 10m in 1910.

The Kingdom of Poland was a monarchy linked by a personal union with Russia, with the tsar as king. It had a Polish Sejm (diet), government and army, but was not permitted to conduct its own foreign policy.

The constitution, though formally liberal, was systematically violated. The Kingdom of Poland was a center of the Polish liberation movement. In 1830 the November Uprising broke out; following its failure the Kingdom of Poland ceased to be a separate state and was henceforth to be an integral part of the Russian Empire.

After the January Uprising in 1863 the Kingdom was stripped of its separate identity altogether. In official documents the name ‘the Kingdom of Poland’ was replaced with the expression ‘the Country along the Vistula’.

In the second half of the 19thcentury the country was subjected to intensive Russification. In 1915 it was occupied by German and Austrian forces; the occupation lasted until November 1918. After 1918 the lands of the Kingdom of Poland became part of the independent Poland.

2 Duchy of Warsaw: state founded in 1807 by Napoleon. Formally a sovereign entity, it was in fact dependent on its alliance with France. The Kingdom of Warsaw comprised mostly Polish lands that had been annexed to Prussia (the 2ndand 3rdPartitions of Poland).

It covered an area of 155,000 km2and had a population of 4.3m. It was a constitutional monarchy linked by a personal union with Saxony.

In January 1813 the Kingdom of Warsaw was occupied by Russian forces; in March Tsar Alexander I convened a Provisional Supreme Council of the Kingdom of Warsaw, and in 1815 the kingdom was abolished by a decision taken at the Congress of Vienna.

3 Warsaw Ghetto: A separate residential district for Jews in Warsaw created over several months in 1940. On 16thNovember 1940 138,000 people were enclosed behind its walls.

Over the following months the population of the ghetto increased as more people were relocated from the small towns surrounding the city. By March 1941 445,000 people were living in the ghetto. Subsequently, the number of the ghetto’s inhabitants began to fall sharply as a result of disease, hunger, deportation, persecution and liquidation.

The ghetto was also systematically reduced in size. The internal administrative body was the Jewish Council (Judenrat). The Warsaw ghetto ceased to exist on 15thMay 1943, when the Germans pronounced the failure of the uprising, staged by the Jewish soldiers, and razed the area to the ground. 

4 Bund

 The short name of the General Jewish Union of Working People in Lithuania, Poland and Russia, Bund means Union in Yiddish). The Bund was a social democratic organization representing Jewish craftsmen from the Western areas of the Russian Empire.

It was founded in Vilnius in 1897. In 1906 it joined the autonomous fraction of the Russian Social Democratic Working Party and took up a Menshevist position.

After the Revolution of 1917 the organization split: one part was anti-Soviet power, while the other remained in the Bolsheviks’ Russian Communist Party. In 1921 the Bund dissolved itself in the USSR, but continued to exist in other countries.

5 Pilsudski, Jozef (1867-1935): Polish activist in the independence cause, politician, statesman, marshal. With regard to the cause of Polish independence he represented the pro-Austrian current, which believed that the Polish state would be reconstructed with the assistance of Austria-Hungary.

When Poland regained its independence in January 1919, he was elected Head of State by the Legislative Sejm. In March 1920 he was nominated marshal, and until December 1922 he held the positions of Head of State and Commander-in-Chief of the Polish Army.

After the murder of the president, Gabriel Narutowicz, he resigned from all his posts and withdrew from politics. He returned in 1926 in a political coup. He refused the presidency offered to him, and in the new government held the posts of war minister and general inspector of the armed forces. He was prime minister twice, from 1926-1928 and in 1930.

He worked to create a system of national security by concluding bilateral non-aggression pacts with the USSR (1932) and Germany (1934). He sought opportunities to conclude firm alliances with France and Britain.

In 1932 owing to his deteriorating health, Pilsudski resigned from his functions. He was buried in the Crypt of Honor in Wawel Cathedral in the Royal Castle in Cracow.

6 Treblinka: village in Poland’s Mazovia region, site of two camps. The first was a penal labor camp, established in 1941 and operating until 1944. The second, known as Treblinka II, functioned in the period 1942-43 and was a death camp.

Prisoners in the former worked in Treblinka II. In the second camp a ramp and a mock-up of a railway station were built, which prevented the victims from realizing what awaited them until just in front of the entrance to the gas chamber.

The camp covered an area of 13.5 hectares. It was bounded by a 3-m high barbed wire fence interwoven densely with pine branches to screen what was going on inside. The whole process of exterminating a transport from arrival in the camp to removal of the corpses from the gas chamber took around 2 hours. Several transports arrived daily.

In the 13 months of the extermination camp’s existence the Germans gassed some 750,000-800,000 Jews. Those taken to Treblinka included Warsaw Jews during the Grossaktion [great liquidation campaign] in the Warsaw ghetto in the summer of 1942.

As well as Polish Jews, Jews from Austria, Belgium, Bulgaria, Czechoslovakia, France, Greece, Yugoslavia and the USSR were also killed in Treblinka. In the spring of 1943 the Germans gradually began to liquidate the camp.

On 2 August 1943 an uprising broke out there with the aim of enabling some 200 people to escape. The majority died.

7 Litvak/Litvak roots (Yid

: Litvakes): name for Jews from Lithuania. When used by Polish Jews it takes on a pejorative tone. The stereotypical Litvak was arrogant, unapproachable, a wiseacre who spoke an unintelligible form of Yiddish.

In Polish the term ‘Litvak’ was used to describe Jewish refugees who arrived on Polish territory (in the area known as the Lands along the Vistula) in the 1880s.

Their arrival, provoked by a series of pogroms and the passing of the May Laws, which discriminated against Jews (1882; these laws did not extend to the lands along the Vistula), was received with hostility by Polish Jews and Christians alike.

The Christians accused them of conscious collaboration in the Russification of the Polish state, while the Jews feared that the Litvaks, who were familiar with the Russian market, would constitute competition for local merchants.

The Litvaks had separate synagogues, schools and press. The negative stereotypes perpetuated the mutual isolation, and the sustained sense of uprootedness fuelled a rise in nationalist tendencies and pro-Zionist currents among the Litvaks, one manifestation of which was the Hibbat Zion (‘Love of Zion’ movement).

8 Korczak, Janusz (1878/79-1942): Polish Jewish doctor, pedagogue, writer of children’s literature. He was the co-founder and director (from 1911) of the Jewish orphanage in Warsaw.

He also ran a similar orphanage for Polish children. Korczak was in charge of the Jewish orphanage when it was moved to the Warsaw Ghetto in 1940.

He was one of the best-known figures behind the ghetto wall, refusing to leave the ghetto and his charges. He was deported to the Treblinka extermination camp with his charges in August 1942. The whole transport was murdered by the Nazis shortly after its arrival in the camp. 

9 Polish Socialist Party (PPS), founded in 1892, its reach extended throughout the Kingdom of Poland and abroad, and it proclaimed slogans advocating the reclamation by Poland of its sovereignty.

It was a party that comprised many currents and had room for activists of varied views and from a range of social backgrounds.

During the revolutionary period in 1905-07 it was one of the key political forces; it directed strikes, organized labor unions, and conducted armed campaigns. It was also during this period that it developed into a party of mass reach (towards the end of 1906 it had some 55,000 members).

After 1918 the PPS came out in support of the parliamentary system, and advocated the need to ensure that Poland guaranteed of freedom and civil rights, division of the churches (religious communities) and the state, and territorial and cultural autonomy for ethnic minorities; and it defended the rights of hired laborers.

The PPS supported the policy of the head of state, Jozef Pilsudski. It had seats in the first government of the Republic, but from 1921 was in opposition.

In 1918-30 the main opponents of the PPS were the National Democrats [ND] and the communist movement. In the 1930s the state authorities’ repression of PPS activists and the reduced activity of working-class and intellectual political circles eroded the power of the PPS (in 1933 it numbered barely 15,000 members) and caused the radicalization of some of its leaders and party members.

During World War II the PPS was formally dissolved, and some of its leaders created the Polish Socialist Party – Liberty, Equality, Independence (PPS-WRN), which was a member of the coalition supporting the Polish government in exile and the institutions of the Polish Underground State. In 1946-48 many members of PPS-WRN left the country or were arrested and sentenced in political trials.

In December 1948 PPS activists collaborating with the PPR consented to the two parties merging on the PPR’s terms. In 1987 the PPS resumed its activities. The party currently numbers a few thousand members.

10 Polish-Soviet War (1919-21): between Poland and Soviet Russia. It began with the Red Army marching on Belarus and Lithuania; in December 1918 it took Minsk, and on 5thJanuary 1919 it drove divisions of the Lithuanian and Belarusian defense armies out of Vilnius.

The Soviets’ aim was to install revolutionary governments in these lands, while the Polish side had two territorial programs for them: incorporative (the annexation of Belarus and part of Ukraine to Poland) and federating (the creation of a system of nation states sympathetic to Poland).

The war was waged on the territory of what is today Lithuania, Belarus, Ukraine and Poland (west to the Vistula). Armed combat ceased on 18thOctober 1920 and the peace treaty was signed on 18thMarch 1921 in Riga.

The outcome of the 1919-1920 war was the incorporation into Poland of Lithuania’s Vilnius region, Belarus’ Grodno region, and Western Ukraine.

11 Battle of Warsaw (13-25thAugust 1920): a battle in the Polish-Soviet War of 1919-1920. In early August 1920 Poland was in a critical situation; the entente powers offered aid only in the form of military advise and supply of arms, but not in the form of soldiers.

In Poland a coalition government was appointed in order to mobilize more workers and peasants to fight the Soviet invasion. From 13-25thAugust the decisive Battle of Warsaw was played out.

In the bloody battles for Radzymin the Polish Army defended the capital, and the counterattack from the Wieprz that began on 16thAugust forced the Bolshevik divisions to retreat.

At the beginning of September the Poles were pushing up along the whole length of the front, and on 12thOctober the Polish and Soviet delegations signed a cease-fire and peace talks began. The repulse of the Soviet attack on the outskirts of Warsaw defended Poland’s independence and probably prevented the Bolshevization of Europe.

12 Dubois, Stanislaw (1901–42): socialist activist and publicist. From 1931-33 and 1934-37 he was a member of the Supreme Council of the Polish Socialist Party, and from 1928-30 a deputy to the Sejm.

From 1934 he advocated agreement between the socialists and communists. He was arrested during the war and died in Auschwitz.

13 German occupation of Poland (1939-45): World War II began with the German attack on Poland on 1st September 1939. On 17th September 1939 Russia occupied the eastern part of Poland (on the basis of the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact).

The east of Poland up to the Bug river was incorporated into the USSR, while the north and west were annexed to the Third Reich. The remaining lands comprised what was called the General Governorship - a separate state administered by the German authorities.

After the outbreak of war with the USSR in June 1941 Germany occupied the whole of Poland's pre-war territory. The German occupation was a system of administration by the police and military of the Third Reich on Polish soil.

Poland's own administration was dismantled, along with its political parties and the majority of its social organizations and cultural and educational institutions. In the lands incorporated into the Third Reich the authorities pursued a policy of total Germanization.

As regards the General Governorship the intention of the Germans was to transform it into a colony supplying Polish unskilled slave labor. The occupying powers implemented a policy of terror on the basis of collective liability.

The Germans assumed ownership of Polish state property and public institutions, confiscated or brought in administrators for large private estates, and looted the economy in industry and agriculture.

The inhabitants of the Polish territories were forced into slave labor for the German war economy. Altogether, over the period 1939-45 almost three million people were taken to the Third Reich from the whole of Poland.

14 Tuwim, Julian (1894-1953): Poet and translator; wrote in Polish. He was born in Lodz into an assimilated family from Lithuania. He studied law and philosophy at Warsaw University.

He was a leading representative of the Skamander group of poets. His early work combined elements of Futurism and Expressionism (e.g. Czychanie na Boga [Lying in wait for God], 1918). In the 1920s his poetry took a turn towards lyrism (e.g. Slowa we krwi [Words in blood], 1926).

In the 1930s under the influence of the rise in nationalistic tendencies in Poland his work took on the form of satire and political grotesque (Bal w operze [A ball at the opera], 1936).

He also published works for children. A separate area of his writings are cabarets, libretti, sketches and monologues. He spent WWII in emigration and made public appearances in which he relayed information on the fate of the Polish population of Poland and the rest of Europe.

In 1944 he published an extended poem, ‘My Zydzi polscy’ [We Polish Jews], which was a manifesto of his complicated Polish-Jewish identity. After the war he returned to Poland but wrote little. He was the chairman of the Society of Friends of the Hebrew University and the Committee for Polish-Israeli Friendship.

15 Slonimski, Antoni (1895-1976): poet, literary critic, publicist and author of comedies; he wrote in Polish. Born in Warsaw into an assimilated family, the grandson of the astronomer and Haskalah activist Chaim Zelig, Slonimski was a co-founder of the Skamander poetry group (1920); his best known volumes include ‘Droga na Wschod’ [The Road East] (1924) and ‘Okno bez krat’ [Window without Bars] (1935).

In 1939 he left for France, and from there went to England. During the war he wrote two famous poems, ‘Alarm’, and ‘Ten jest z ojczyzny mojej’ [This one is from my fatherland], hailed as a tribute to the victims of Nazism.

He returned to Poland in 1951 and until 1959 was the president of the Union of Polish Writers. In 1968 during the anti-Semitic campaign waged by the Polish authorities he was removed from his posts and his works were banned. In the 1970s he cooperated with the anti-communist opposition.

16 Feuchtwanger, Lion (1884-1958): German-Jewish novelist, noted for his choice of historical and political themes and the use of psychoanalytic ideas in the development of his characters.

He was a friend of Bertolt Brecht and collaborated with him on several plays. Feuchtwanger was an active pacifist and socialist and the rise of Nazism forced him to leave his native Germany for first France and then the USA in 1940.

He wrote extensively on ancient Jewish history, also as a metaphor to criticize the European political situation of the time. Among his main work are the trilogy ‘The Waiting Room’ and ‘Josephus’ (1932).

17 Endeks: Name formed from the initials of a right-wing party active in Poland during the inter-war period (ND – ‘en-de’). Narodowa Demokracja [National Democracy] was founded by Roman Dmowski. Its members and supporters, known as ‘Endeks’, often held anti-Semitic views.

18 Lechon Jan (real name Leszek Serafinowicz, 1899-1956): poet, co-founder of the Skamander poetry group. From 1940 he lived in the US; he committed suicide. His work touched on both issues of the heritage of romantic culture – the legacies of great nationalist examples – and personal themes – loneliness, the tragedy of life and death.

His ‘Collected Poetries’ were published in 1954; he also had satirical works published, among them ‘The Babina Republic’ (1920). More of his works came out posthumously, including his literary and theatrical sketches, his ‘Journal’ (Vol. 1-3, 1967-73), and a selection of prose writings, ‘The Senator’s Ball’ (1981).

19 Lesmian, Boleslaw (1877-1937): Poet, writer and translator. He came from a family of assimilated Jewish intelligentsia. He was born in Warsaw and studied law in Kiev.

He wrote in Polish and Russian. He was one of the founders of the Warsaw-based experimental Artistic Theater (1911). His works are in the fairytale convention and are inspired by oriental and Slavonic folklore.

In 1912 he released his first volume of poetry (Sad rozstajny [The widespread orchard]). Only his admittance to the Polish Academy of Literature in 1933 enabled him to publish his work. 

20 Annexation of Eastern Poland: According to a secret clause in the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact defining Soviet and German territorial spheres of influence in Eastern Europe, the Soviet Union occupied Eastern Poland in September 1939. In early November the newly annexed lands were divided up between the Ukranian and the Belarusian Soviet Republics.

21 Umiastowski Order: Col. Roman Umiastowski was head of propaganda in the Corps of the Supreme Commander of the Polish Republic. Following the German aggression on Poland, and faced with the siege of Warsaw, on 6 September 1939 he appealed to all men able to wield a weapon to leave the capital and head east.

22 Armbands: From the beginning of the occupation, the German authorities issued all kinds of decrees discriminating against the civilian population, in particular the Jews.

On 1stDecember 1939 the Germans ordered all Jews over the age of 12 to wear a distinguishing emblem. In Warsaw it was a white armband with a blue star of David, to be worn on the right sleeve of the outer garment.

In some towns Jews were forced to sew yellow stars onto their clothes. Not wearing the armband was punishable – initially with a beating, later with a fine or imprisonment, and from 15thOctober 1941 with the death penalty (decree issued by Governor Hans Frank).

23Great Patriotic War: On 22ndJune 1941 at 5 o’clock in the morning Nazi Germany attacked the Soviet Union without declaring war. This was the beginning of the so-called Great Patriotic War. The German blitzkrieg, known as Operation Barbarossa, nearly succeeded in breaking the Soviet Union in the months that followed. Caught unprepared, the Soviet forces lost whole armies and vast quantities of equipment to the German onslaught in the first weeks of the war. By November 1941 the German army had seized the Ukrainian Republic, besieged Leningrad, the Soviet Union's second largest city, and threatened Moscow itself. The war ended for the Soviet Union on 9thMay 1945.

24 Lutsk ghetto: Lutsk is a town in Volhynia (now Ukraine); in 1939 it was home to 20,000 Jews. After the outbreak of the German-Soviet War on 22ndJune 1941, many Jews left their town with the withdrawing Soviet forces.

The town was occupied by the Germans on 26thJune. A few days later some 2,000 Jews were murdered, and on 4thJuly 3,000 Jews were killed in a nearby castle. The ghetto was created in December 1941.

In the spring of 1942 a group of young people managed to escape from the ghetto, but most of them were murdered by Ukrainians, although some joined the partisans.

From 19th-23rdAugust 1942 the Germans held an ‘Aktion’, during which they murdered the majority of the Jews in the ghetto – 17,000 people were taken up a hill called Polanka and shot; the remaining 5,000 people who worked in the labor camp were murdered on 12thDecember 1942.

When the Soviets returned to the town on 2ndFebruary 1944, they found 150 Jews, who had survived the German occupation in hiding. 

25 Home Army (Armia Krajowa - AK): conspiratorial military organization, part of the Polish armed forces operating within Polish territory (within pre-1 September 1939 borders) during World War II.

Created on 14 February 1942, subordinate to the Supreme Commander and the Polish Government in Exile. Its mission was to regain Poland’s sovereignty through armed combat and inciting to a national uprising.

In 1943 the AK had over 300,000 members. AK units organized diversion, sabotage, revenge and partisan campaigns. Its military intelligence was highly successful.

On 19thJanuary 1945 the AK was disbanded on the order of its commander, but some of its members continued their independence activities throughout 1945-47.

In 1944-45 tens of thousands of AK soldiers were exiled and interned in the USSR, in places such as Ryazan, Borovichi and Ostashkov. Soldiers of the AK continued to suffer repression in Poland until 1956; many were sentenced to death or long-term imprisonment on trumped-up charges.

26 Warsaw Ghetto Uprising (or April Uprising)

On 19thApril 1943 the Germans undertook their third deportation campaign to transport the last inhabitants of the ghetto, approximately 60,000 people, to labor camps.

An armed resistance broke out in the ghetto, led by the Jewish Fighting Organization (ZOB) and the Jewish Military Union (ZZW) – all in all several hundred armed fighters.

The Germans attacked with 2,000 men, tanks and artillery. The insurrectionists were on the attack for the first few days, and subsequently carried out their defense from bunkers and ruins, supported by the civilian population of the ghetto, who contributed with passive resistance.

The Germans razed the Warsaw ghetto to the ground on 15thMay 1943.

Around 13,000 Jews perished in the Uprising, and around 50,000 were deported to Treblinka extermination camp. About 100 of the resistance fighters managed to escape from the ghetto via the sewers. 

27 Stutthof (Pol. Sztutowo): German concentration camp 36 km east of Gdansk. The Germans also created a series of satellite camps in the vicinity: Stolp, Heiligenbeil, Gerdauen, Jesau, Schippenbeil, Seerappen, Praust, Burggraben, Thorn and Elbing.

The Stutthof camp operated from 2ndSeptember 1939 until 9thMay 1945. The first group of prisoners (several hundred people) were Jews from Gdansk. Until 1943 small groups of Jews from Warsaw, Bialystok and other places were sent there.

In early 1944 some 20,000 Auschwitz survivors were relocated to Stutthof. In spring 1944 the camp was extended significantly and was made into a death camp; subsequent transports comprised groups of Jews from Latvia, Lithuania, Hungary and Lodz in Poland.

Towards the end of 1944 around 12,000 prisoners were taken from Stutthof to camps in Germany – Dachau, Buchenwald, Neuengamme and Flossenburg. In January 1945 the evacuation of Stutthof and its satellite camps began.

In that period some 29,000 prisoners passed through the camp (including 26,000 women), 26,000 of whom died during the evacuation. Of the 52,000 or so people who were taken to Stutthof and its satellites, around 3,000 survived.

28 Death marches: forced evacuation of prisoners of concentration camps in Eastern Europe on Hitler’s orders from January 1945, ahead of the Soviet invasion. The prisoners were formed into marching columns or transported in cattle wagons in the direction of Germany.

The sick and the weak were shot on the spot; the winter, starvation and harsh conditions decimated the transports, and many prisoners were shot along the way. In all, of the approximately 700,000 who were sent on such marches, a third died.

The Germans evacuated part of Auschwitz, Stutthof, and the Hasag forced labor camp in Czestochowa in this way.

29 Warsaw Uprising 1944: The term refers to the Polish uprising between 1stAugust and 2ndOctober 1944, an armed uprising orchestrated by the underground Home Army and supported by the civilian population of Warsaw.

It was justified by political motives: the calculation that if the domestic arm of the Polish government in exile took possession of the city, the USSR would be forced to recognize Polish sovereignty.

The Allies rebuffed requests for support for the campaign. The Polish underground state failed to achieve its aim. Losses were vast: around 20,000 insurrectionists and 200,000 civilians were killed and 70% of the city destroyed.

30 Settlers in Lower Silesia: Evacuation of Poles from the USSR: In 1939-41 there were some 2 million citizens of the Second Polish Republic from lands annexed to the Soviet Union in the heart of the USSR (Poles, Jews, Ukrainians, Belarusians and Lithuanians).

The resettlement of Poles and Jews to Poland (within its new borders) began in 1944. The process was coordinated by a political organization subordinate to the Soviet authorities, the Union of Polish Patriots (functioned until July 1946).

The main purpose of the resettlement was to purge Polish lands annexed into the Soviet Union during World War II of their ethnic Polish population. The campaign was accompanied by the removal of Ukrainian and Belarusian populations to the USSR.

Between 1944 and 1948 some 1.5 million Poles and Jews returned to Poland with military units or under the repatriation program. Between the wars Lower Silesia was part of Germany.

Jews emigrated from the region during the fascist period to escape persecution. In 1939 there were 15,480 Jews living in the region, most of whom perished during the war.

A new influx of Jews began in 1945 after the region was incorporated into Poland. Of the 52,000or so Jews that arrived there, 10,000 settled in Wroclaw (formerly Breslau). Jews also moved to Legnica (formerly Liegnitz), Dzierzoniow (Reichenbach) and Walbrzych (Waldenburg).

31 Workers’ University Society Youth Movement (OMTUR): socialist youth organization linked to the Polish Socialist Party (PPS). Established in 1926, it organized cultural and sporting events, and acted against clericalism and anti-Semitism.

It brought together young people from all walks of life. In 1932 it had some 6,500 members in 85 towns and cities. In the 1930s OMTUR activists underwent political radicalization and began cooperating with a radical peasant communist movement.

Reactivated in 1944, in 1948 it numbered around 100,000 members. After the war it ran clubs, libraries and sports clubs. In July 1948 OMTUR was incorporated into the Union of Polish Youth (ZMP).

32 Zukunft (Yid.: Future): Jewish youth organization that operated in Poland from 1910-1948. It was formed from the merger of several social democratic oriented youth groups.

It had links to the Bund and initially also to Socjaldemokracja Krolestwa Polskiego i Litwy [Social Democracy of the Kingdom of Poland and Lithuania] (SDKPiL), and was involved in printing and disseminating illegal press and conspiratorial political activities in the lands of the Russian partitions.

From 1916 it functioned officially as the Bund’s youth organization, and from 1918 (when Poland regained its independence) it was a national organization with some 7,000 members (85 sections).

Zukunft organized educational and self-teaching activities in young working-class Jewish circles, opened sports clubs, and defended the economic rights of young workers. It published a magazine, Jugnt-Veker (Yid.: Reveille for the Young).

During the war Zukunft took an active part in organizing resistance in the Warsaw ghetto. Reactivated in 1944, it continued its cultural and educational activities, running vocational schools and night classes. It was disbanded by the communist authorities in 1948.

33 Polish Workers’ Party (PPR): a communist party formed in January 1942 by a merger of Polish communist groups and organizations following the infiltration of an initiative cell from the USSR.

The PPR was not formally part of the Communist Internationale, although in fact was subordinate to it. In its program declarations the PPR’s slogans included full armed combat to liberate the country from the German occupation, the restoration of an independent, democratic Polish state with new eastern borders, alliance with the USSR, and moderate socio-economic reform.

In 1942 the PPR had a few thousand members, but by 1944 its ranks had swelled to some 20,000. In 1942 it spawned an armed organization, the People’s Guard (renamed the People’s Army in 1944).

After the Red Army invaded Poland the PPR took power and set about creating a political system in which it had the dominant position. The PPR pacified society, terrorized the political opposition and suppressed underground organizations fighting for independence using instruments of organized violence.

It was supported by USSR state security organizations operating in Poland (including the NKVD).

After its consolidation of power in 1947-48 the leadership of the PPR set about radical political and socio-economic transformations based on Soviet models, including the liquidation of private ownership, the nationalization of the economy (the collectivization of agriculture), and the subordination of all institutions and community organizations to the communist party.

In December 1948 the party numbered over a million members. After merging with the Polish Socialist Party it changed its name to the Polish United Workers’ Party.

34 Polish October 1956:the culmination of the political, social and economic transformations that brought about the collapse of the dictatorial regime after the death of Stalin (1953).

From 1954 the political system in Poland gradually thawed (censorship was scaled down, for instance, and political prisoners were slowly released – in April and May 1956 some 35,000 people were let out of prison).

But the economic situation was deteriorating and the social and political crisis mounting. On 28thJune a strike and demonstration on the streets of Poznan escalated into an armed revolt, which was suppressed by police and army units.

From 19th-21stOctober 1956 a political breakthrough occurred, the 8thPlenum of the PZPR Central Committee met under social pressure (rallies in factories and universities), and there was the threat of intervention by Soviet troops.

Gomulka was appointed First Secretary of the PZPR Central Committee, and won the support of many groups, including a rally numbering hundreds of thousands of people in Warsaw on 24thOctober.

From 15th-18thNovember the terms on which Soviet troops were stationed in Poland were agreed, a proportion of Poland’s debt was annulled, the resettlement of Poles back from the USSR was resumed, and by the end of 1956 a large number of people found guilt in political trials were rehabilitated.

There were changes at the top in the Polish Army: Marshal Rokossowski and the Soviet generals went back to the USSR, and changes also to the civilian authorities and the programs of political factions.

In November 1956 permission was granted for the creation of workers’ councils in state enterprises, and the management of the economy was improved somewhat. In subsequent months, however, the process of partial democratization was halted, and supporters of continuing change (‘revisionists’) were censured.

35 Gomulka Campaign: a campaign to sack Jews employed in the Ministry of Internal Affairs, the army and the central administration. The trigger of this anti-Semitic campaign was the involvement of the Socialist Bloc countries on the Arab side in the Middle East conflict, in connection with which Moscow ordered purges in state institutions.

On 19th June 1967, at a trade union congress, the then First Secretary of the Polish United Workers’ Party [PZPR], Wladyslaw Gomulka, accused the Jews of lack of loyalty to the state and of publicly demonstrating their enthusiasm for Israel’s victory in the Six-Day-War.

This marked the start of purges among journalists and people of other creative professions. Poland also severed diplomatic relations with Israel. On 8th March 1968 there was a protest at Warsaw University.

The Ministry of Internal Affairs responded by launching a press campaign and organizing mass demonstrations in factories and workplaces during which ‘Zionists’ and ‘trouble-makers’ were indicted and anti-Semitic and anti-intelligentsia slogans shouted.

Following the events of March purges were also staged in all state institutions, from factories to universities, on criteria of nationality and race. ‘Family liability’ was also introduced (e.g. with respect to people whose spouses were Jewish).

Jews were forced to emigrate. From 1968-1971 15,000-30,000 people left Poland. They were stripped of their citizenship and right of return.

36 Mostowicz, Arnold (1914-2002): writer and cultural activist. Born in Lodz into a Jewish family; his father was an industrialist but also a cultural activist and theater director. Mostowicz studied medicine in Toulouse, and returned to Poland shortly before the outbreak of World War II.

He worked in the Lodz ghetto as a doctor. He was imprisoned in Auschwitz. He did not return to medicine after the war, turning instead to writing. He wrote science fiction novels and popular science books.

He was also a journalist and publicist. He is the author of the novel ‘The Ballad of Blind Max’, and the volume ‘Lodz My Forbidden Love’, in which he revealed his ties with his native city. He was the president of the Monumentum Iudaicum Lodzense Foundation.

37 Events of 1989: In 1989 the communist regime in Poland finally collapsed and the process of forming a multiparty, pluralistic, democratic political system and introducing a capitalist economy began.

Communist policy and the deepening economic crisis since the early 1980s had caused increasing social discontent and weariness and the radicalization of moods among Solidarity activists (Solidarity: a trade union that developed into a political party and played a key role in overthrowing communism).

On 13thDecember 1981 the PZPR had introduced martial law (lifted on 22ndJune 1983). Growing economic difficulties, social moods and the strength of the opposition persuaded the national authorities to begin gradually liberalizing the political system. Changes in the USSR also influenced the policy of the PZPR.

A series of strikes in April-May and August 1988, and demonstrations in many towns and cities forced the authorities to seek a compromise with the opposition.

After a few months of meetings and consultations the Round Table negotiations took place (6thFeb.-5thApril 1989) with the participation of Solidarity activists (Lech Walesa) and the democratic opposition (Bronislaw Geremek, Jacek Kuron, Tadeusz Mazowiecki).

The resolutions it passed signaled the end of the PZPR’s monopoly on power and cleared the way for the overthrow of the system. In parliamentary elections (4thJune 1989) the PZPR and its subordinate political groups suffered defeat.

In fall 1989 a program of fundamental economic, social and ownership transformations was drawn up and in January 1990 the PZPR dissolved.

Dora Puchalskaya

Dora Puchalskaya
Ternopol
Ukraine
Interviewer: Zhanna Litinskaya
Date of interview: August 2003

Dora Puchalskay likes to wear warm woolen sweaters that she knitted herself and knitted leggings. Dora lives in a big three-room apartment alone: her older son Anatoli died recently after being ill for 17 years. Dora is in mourning, but she met me with pleasure. There is plain furniture in Dora’s apartment, but she has gorgeous embroidered pictures on the walls that she made herself. Dora embroidered sitting by her son’s bed in the evenings. She feels lonely and deserted after she lost her son. A nice downy cat Tom that Dora bought as a present on 8 March follows his mistress wherever she walks. He is Dora’s only consolation. Dora has a friend in the Jewish community and her neighbors also come to see and support her. Dora makes pastries and they have tea and talk about life for hours. Dora also spends a lot of time knitting and embroidering.

Family background
Growing up
During the War
After the War
GLOSSARY

Family background

My maternal and paternal ancestors came from Litin, an old district town in Vinnitsa province. I’ve never been in Litin, but my mother told me that the beginning of the 20th century its population was about ten thousand people. Almost half of them were Jews. There was Ukrainian, Russian and Polish population involved in farming for the most part. Jews dealt in crafts and trade like everywhere else within the Pale of settlement 1 of the Russian Empire. They were tailors, shoemakers, cabinetmakers, glasscutters. There was a synagogue in the center of the town, where most Jewish families traditionally resided.

My father’s parents Yakov (Yankel in the Jewish manner) and Riva Gitman lived in the center. They were born in Litin in the 1880s. They got married some time in 1905. Their wedding was prearranged by a matchmaker, which was customary for Jewish families. I don’t have any information about their families or my grandmother’s maiden name. The only education my grandfather had was cheder. He was a high skilled tailor. He made men’s and women’s clothes and provided well for his family. My grandparents had five children. Grandmother Riva was a housewife. My father told me that they observed all traditions and followed kashrut. They observed Sabbath and Jewish holidays. My grandfather didn’t work on Saturday. My grandmother and grandfather went to synagogue on Saturday and high holidays and fasted on the Day of Atonement. My grandfather wore a hat or a cap and my grandmother wore a kerchief that was a customs with Jews. However, they were not fanatically religious. My father and his brothers studied at cheder. Their parents gave their children an opportunity to determine their priorities in life and make up their own decisions. My father later they gave up religion.

Shmul Gitman, the oldest brother, who was affectionately called Shmilyk at home, was born around 1906. After the revolution of 1917 2 Shmul finished a Pedagogical School and worked as a teacher at a secondary school in Litin and then in Zhmerinka where he moved after he got married in the 1930s. Shmul was recruited to the army on the first days of the Great Patriotic War 3. He never returned home from the war and we don’t know when, where or how he perished. His wife, whose name I don’t remember, and their three children – sons Abram and Efim and daughter Maria, born in the 1930s, were in evacuation in Tomsk [about 2,000 km from Kiev]. Abram and Efim stayed in Siberia. From there they moved to Israel in the late 1970s. They finished colleges and became chemical engineers. Maria and her mother returned to Zhmerinka after the war. Maria and her family also live in Israel, also from the late 1970s. They occasionally send me greetings on holidays. I know that they are pleased with their life. 

The next child Fania was born in 1908. Fania didn’t have any education. She married a Jewish man who dealt in trade. His name was Abram Kipnis. Fania was a housewife. During the Great Patriotic War Abram, Fania and their daughters Raisa, Anna and Mara were in evacuation in Bugulma [about 3,000 km from Kiev]. After the war they lived in Zhmerinka. Fania died in 1980s. Her daughters moved to Israel in late 1980s.

My father’s younger sister Bertha – she was usually called Bella –, born in 1912 was everybody’s favorite in the family. In the late 1930s she married a Jewish man and moved to Leningrad where her husband lived. In spring 1941 Bella came to Zhmerinka to have her baby. She was there, when the war began. She, grandfather and grandmother and Fania’s family evacuated to Bugulma. Fania’s son Michael was born there. Bella’s husband perished at the front. In 1945 she married her husband’s friend who was in love with her. They moved to Leningrad. Bella had her second husband’s last name of Geller. In 1946 their son Yakov Geller was born. Bella died in Leningrad in the 1970s. Michael finished a technical school and Yakov finished a College of Economics in Ternopol. They’ve moved to the USA with their families. I’ve had no contacts with them.

My father’s youngest brother Pinkhus, born in 1915, lived his life in hometown. My father took care about him and called him ‘a little finger’ affectionately. In early 1941 he came to Vladimir-Volynskkiy where our family lived at the time. When the Great Patriotic War began he managed to send his wife and three children between 1-4 years of age in evacuation by train. It turned out later that their train was bombed near Vladimir-Volynskiy and they perished. Pinkhus was in occupation with us. During the war a Ukrainian family gave him shelter. After the war Pinkhus married a Jewish woman. They moved to Poland and from there to the USA. They didn’t have children. Pinkhus died in the middle of 1990s.

My father Lazar Gitman was born in Litin in 1910. He finished cheder and after the revolution of 1917 he studied at a Ukrainian secondary school where he met my mother and they became friends. They spent vacations in a pioneer camp and took part in pioneer meetings. They joined Komsomol 4 at school. After finishing school my father entered a Road Construction College in Vinnitsa. After finishing this college he returned to Litin and became a road engineer. My mother and father continued seeing each other, although my father’s parents were against their marriage. My father’s older brother Shmilyk was the first one to get married according to Jews traditions. Besides, my mother’s family was not as wealthy as my father’s and my father’s parents didn’t want him to marry a poor girl.

My maternal grandfather and grandmother Ghedali and Hana Richter also came from Litin. They were born in the late 1880s. I have no information about their families either. All I know is that grandmother Hana had two older brothers that moved to America in 1912 to avoid military service in the tsarist army. I don’t remember their names. My mother corresponded with them before the middle of the 1930s until corresponding with relatives abroad became unsafe [keep in touch with relatives abroad ]5. Grandfather Ghedali supplied fruit and vegetables for a tinned food factory before the revolution and during NEP 6. He owned a supply company that was nationalized 7 after the NEP. He continued working there. They had stocks of pears, apples and nuts in the basement of their house that saved them from hunger at the trying times. These stocks rescued them during famine in 1932-33 [famine in Ukraine] 8. Grandfather Ghedali and his family lived in a barrack-type house with another Jewish family. They lighted their house with candles or kerosene lamps and had a stove heating. My grandfather received this apartment from the factory where he worked and my grandparents lived there until the end of 1937. My mother’s family was not wealthy. Grandfather earned well, but grandmother Hana had stomach problems. They spent a lot of money on doctors and medications. Probably due to her illness they only had two children: my mother and her younger brother Aron, born in 1915. After finishing school Aron worked as an accountant in a military unit in Lvov. At the beginning of the Great Patriotic War he went to the front with his military unit and perished. He got married in early 1941. His Jewish wife, whose name I don’t remember, perished during occupation in Zhmerinka.

My mother’s parents were religious: they observed kashrut and Sabbath. My grandfather wore a kippah at home and a wide-brimmed hat to go out. My grandmother also wore a kerchief or a lace shawl. My grandfather and grandmother went to synagogue on Saturday and my mother stayed at home to set a festive dinner. They observed all Jewish holidays and fasted at Yom Kippur. They did a major cleanup of the house before Pesach and used special kosher crockery that they kept in the attic during the year. They bought matzah at the synagogue; in the 1930s they made it at home.

My mother Basia Richter was born in Litin in 1913. She was raised to observe the Jewish traditions and religion, but she was growing up during the first Soviet years inspired by the romantic feeling of construction of socialism. My mother studied in a Ukrainian lower secondary school. She said that her parents wanted her to study in a Jewish school, but since many other children went to a Ukrainian school my mother also wanted to study there. My mother was two years younger than my father and they didn’t communicate at school. They met in a pioneer camp in summer and had been together ever since. After finishing school my mother studied in a Pedagogical School. She became a primary school teacher. Although my mother was a Komsomol member, she observed Jewish traditions at home from respect of her parents.

After my father returned from Vinnitsa, their feelings toward one another took a new turn and they resumed seeing each other. They wanted to get married and my maternal grandmother Hana approved of this plan. She was very ill and was hoping to live to see her daughter well settled in life. Besides, during the famine of 1932-33 in Ukraine my mother’s family starved, even though they had fruit and vegetables in stocks. My mother told me how they made ‘bebka’, boiled water with a little bit of flour. My mother worked in a primary school and was forced to go to villagers’ home with a commission, which purpose was struggle against kulaks 9. My mother couldn’t help crying desperately seeing children swollen from hunger and the commission that took away the last piece of bread or jar of corns from them. She couldn’t refuse from participation in this commission for the fear of losing her job. My grandmother was hoping that my mother would have a better life with her husband, particularly that my father came from a wealthy family. My father’s parents were against their marriage, and my father didn’t dare to disobey them. My father’s younger brother Pinkhus sympathized with the young couple. He took them by their hands and they went to a registry office where they got married. When they told my father’s parents about their marriage my grandmother Riva got so angry that she didn’t speak to Pinkhus for few months blaming him for what he had done. She thought that my father would never dare to disobey his parents and she didn’t want to accept my mother. She was hoping that my father would have a traditional Jewish wedding marrying a rich girl. Therefore, my parents didn’t even have a small wedding party. After they got married they began to live at my mother’s home. Two or three months later my father got a job assignment in Zhmerinka, near Litin, in Vinnitsa region. My father got a room in a communal apartment 10 in a small one-storied building where I was born on 31 August 1933.

Growing up

I have dim memories about our life in Zhmerinka. It was a small town with a railway station. About half of its population was Jewish. There was a synagogue, like in all Jewish towns. Since my father joined the Communist Party in 1930, my parents stopped observing any Jewish holidays. We visited grandmother Hana and grandfather Ghedali at Pesach and Rosh Hashanah in Litin. Grandmother Riva also tempered justice with mercy in due time, particularly that Shmilyk got married shortly after my parents. Whenever we visited grandmother Riva and grandfather Ghedali I had an inner feeling that they didn’t treat my brother or me with the same care as they did Shmilyk’s children: they didn’t give us presents or show any affection.

In 1937 my mother gave birth to a boy. He was named Moro. My father didn’t dare to complete a brit milah for him since Soviet authorities struggled against religion 11 and this information came up my father might lose his job and be expelled from the Party. Therefore, my brother was not circumcised. During the war this saved his life. Shortly after Moro was born grandfather Ghedali died in 1937 and my mother moved grandmother Hana to live with us in Zhmerinka. My grandmother did the housework, looked after my brother and played with me. My mother went back to work at school. My father worked long hours, but when he came home from work he always tried to find some time to play with us. We didn’t go to kindergarten. My father loved my mother dearly, but he didn’t have an opportunity to spend much time with her. I remember that he bought her a stay in a recreation center for a month. We missed her a lot. Our father worked for a road construction company. He went to work even if he felt ill.

In 1940 our father got a new job assignment and we moved to Vladimir-Volynskiy in 370 km from Zhmerinka. Pinkhus and his family moved there shortly afterward. This town belonged to Poland [Annexation of Western Ukraine] 12 before 1 November 1939. When we moved there it was located in 8 km from a new border of Russia and Poland. There were many Jewish refugees who escaped from Hitler who occupied Poland. [Editor’s note: in September 1939 the Jewish population raised from 9 to 25 thousand people due to refugees.] Vladimir-Volynskiy was a lovely clean town. There was a big beautiful synagogue and nice stone houses with stores and shops in the town. There was a Catholic cathedral in the center. My father received a two-room apartment in a 2-storied house behind this cathedral in early 1941. We moved there from one room that we had from the school where my mother worked. It took us few months to repair the new apartment. We moved into it in the middle of June 1941. After our father moved our belongings to this new apartment, he went on a business trip. On 22 June 1941, when the Great Patriotic War began, our father was not at home. A day later fascists came to our yard. Our mother and we rushed to the basement. Our grandmother was confined to bed and stayed inside. Her bed was beside a window and when we got out we saw that the window was broken and she was covered with pieces of glass. Our mother hastily put away our father’s clothing and documents. He wore uniformed clothes that was in fashion with governmental and Party officials and my mother didn’t want fascists to find them. We knew from refugees that fascists were killing communists and Jews in the first turn. Of course, it was hard to believe that the situation was that bad. We didn’t believe at all that somebody would dare to attack us. It just happened and it was scaring. Pinkhus came to our house and mother began to excavate a hiding pit in the basement for him since Pinkhus was a communist.

During the War

The first days of occupation with army units in the town were relatively quiet until SS Sonderverband units came to town. They started operations against Jewish people. On 5 July they shot 500 men in the yard of the town prison. [Editor’s note: Dora mistakenly indicates the number of 500. Actually, about 150 men were shot on that day.] The rest of Jewish men were in hiding in homes and in the woods. When grandmother Hana died in early September 1941 there were no Jewish men in the town to take to bury her at the cemetery. My mother didn’t allow Pinkhus to leave the house and she had to carry grandmother to the cemetery with three old women who were our neighbors. It wasn’t too heavy load for them since my grandmother was as thin as a mummy when she died. Until her last day, when she was conscious, she prayed in Hebrew and asked mother to light candles near her at Sabbath. My mother was concerned that somebody might hear Jewish prayers, but she couldn’t oppose a dying person. My mother dug a pit and lowered my grandmother in there wrapped in my grandfather’s tallit. I don’t know whether there was a Kaddish recited over her grave. I don’t think my mother found it possible considering the situation.

We didn’t have any information about my father or his parents and relatives in Litin. After their initial operations, fascists made several raids shooting innocent at people. Our mother didn’t allow us to leave the house. In early 1942 the remaining Jews – women, children and old people - were taken to the ghetto in the former storage facilities at the market in the center of the town. The area was bared, but the gate was kept open for some time. We slept on the floor under a bast mat that we fond there since we didn’t have a chance to take things from home. When the ghetto was opened, Pinkhus stayed in his hiding pit and at night our mother took him to a Ukrainian family: my mother was concerned about him. Many young men were either shot or died doing hard work. Their son was in her class before the war and mother knew them well – unfortunately, I don’t know their names. Pinkhus stayed with them until the end of the war. I don’t know why we didn’t go to this family. Perhaps, our mother thought that fascists only exterminated Jewish men and wanted to rescue Pinkhus.

I have dim memories about our life in the ghetto. Our mother had a yellow star on her clothes, but I can’t remember whether we, children had to wear it as well. I remember the never-ending feeling of hunger and fear. Our mother went to work. She washed dishes in a diner for officers. She brought us leftovers that seemed a luxury to us. Sometimes our mother took us to the café when the gate was still open. Once a man wearing a policeman uniform approached us. He knew our mother. She was much loved and respected in the town. People in Western Ukraine traditionally respected teachers. He told my mother that when they closed the gate of the ghetto, our mother and we would perish. He suggested that if she agreed he would take us, children, to a village to help us to survive. Our mother said ‘I shall be with my children to the end. Get me a Ukrainian passport and help us to get out of here, if you can’. A day later this policeman took us out on a horse-ridden cart. All I remember is that his name was Sergei. It’s hard to imagine how hard it must have been for him to get forged documents for us. He gave our mother a passport for Vera Grigorievna. This was how my mother’s pupils who found it hard to pronounce her Jewish name called her. I’ve forgotten what last name there was in this passport. Sergei took two other Jewish families from the ghetto with us. He showed the guard my mother’s forged documents and documents for other inmates of the ghetto in his wagon and he let us out. On our way we dropped by our house to pick up some warm clothes and some other belongings valuable for our mother. Sergei took us to a remote Ukrainian village and disappeared for good. He was afraid that someone might report on him. At that time someone helping Jews was subject to death penalty while he rescued few Jewish families.

This was a beginning of our adventures. I don’t remember in what farms or villages we stayed. Our mother took to any work she could lay her hands on: she learned to mow, thresh, weed the fields, milk cows and look after cattle when she had never done any farm work before. Whatever valuables she had taken from home – some silver tableware and a golden ring – she gave to the first farmer that gave us shelter. We pretended to be Ukrainians when we stayed with Ukrainian families and Polish staying with Polish families. My mother was called Vera and I was called Galina in Ukrainian villages and Halina in Polish villages. My brother was called Tadeuzs, Tadik. He is still called in the family by this name. We never stayed long in one village. Our mother saw grandfather Ghedali or grandmother Hana in her dream telling her it was time to leave a village. Here is what they were saying ‘Get up, take the children and move on, there is going to be a calamity here’. In the morning we got dressed and went away. Several times after we left there were raids in those villages. I remember that we were hiding in a basement during a raid once. There were many rats in the basement and mother stayed awake a whole night protecting us from disgusting rats since they even could chew on children’s faces.

In one village its senior man suspected that we were Jews. My brother did not quite understand what was going on and began to speak Yiddish quite out of place. This senior man said to mother ‘You are Ukrainian, but your children are zhydy’. He grabbed Tadik dragging him into the yard to give him to policemen. It helped that he had not been circumcised. Mother pulled down his pants crying and begging the senior man to have mercy. When he saw my brother he left us alone. I don’t know whether he quite believed what we told him since we left that village at night. Once we got into a raid against Jews. We were hiding in a house. Fascists shot a girl of about 10 years of age by the window of the house. I will never forget her crying and begging. How the girl begged for fascists to let her live and how she wished to stay alive!

Besides constant fear that our Jewish identity might be revealed we also had to maneuver between Ukrainian and Polish people. During the Great Patriotic War there was deadly confrontation between Ukrainian and Polish residents in Western regions of Ukraine. Ukrainians were taking vengeance on their enemy for the past centuries of oppression [Ukrainian-Polish confrontation]13. Farm went against farm and village against village with axes, other weapons or just whips. Before our eyes Ukrainians slaughtered a Polish farm tenants. When they left there was nobody to bury the dead. Our mother dug a pit and dragged the dead there. I was helping mother and I believe our 5-year-old Tadik to have matured at that moment. At least he stopped being naughty using Jewish words. Neither he nor I could understand why people killed people, but we had seen death. My mother met one participant of this blood shedding massacre: he was a school director in Vladimir-Volynski. My mother was afraid that he might recognize her. Some time later he was arrested – I don’t know why, and taken out of the town. We don’t know what happened to him, but mother breathed with relief after he was gone.

Once a Polish group came to the Ukrainian village where we were staying. They took us into the yard. They told mother to step aside and my brother and I were taken to stand by the wall of a shed. They intended to shoot us. Mother began to scream in Russian, probably shock stricken as she was. She begged them in Russian to let her children go. Commander of the gang asked her who she was. She could do nothing, but tell them the truth. He ordered his men to take away their guns and they left.

We didn’t come to Vladimir-Volynskiy knowing from farmers that Germans continued to exterminate Jews there. One day in early 1944 my mother sent me to the market in town to exchange a piece of fabric for a piece of clothing for me. I went there with another woman. The ghetto was closed: all its inmates had been exterminated by then. [The ghetto in Vladimir-Volynskiy was liquidated on 13 December 1943.] However, there were frequent raids to identify Jews hiding in houses. This woman and I got entrapped in one of these raids. Fortunately, we managed to escape and to hiding in a house. When we returned to the village my mother burst into crying from sorrow and the joy of seeing me. She heard about the raid in town and she thought we had perished. She never let me leave her again.

Our wandering lasted for about three years. Every now and then our rescuer Sergei visited us. I don’t know how he found us in various villages. Probably local villagers mentioned to him when they saw us. He brought us gifts and had long discussions with our mother. I don’t know what was between them or whether there was something else besides friendship and support. In spring 1944 I understood that mother was pregnant. It’s hard for me to talk about it. It didn’t occur to me then, that it took two people to conceive a baby, and I didn’t think how my mother got a baby. My mother never revealed this secret. I didn’t ask her and she didn’t tell me anything even when she was dying. I don’t know who was the father of her child. Mother took her secret with her. I don’t know whether there were feelings between her and our rescuer or whether it was submission to crude forces hoping to rescue us on her part.

In spring 1944 Hitler armies were retreating. Villagers were ordered to march ahead of German units to make a live shield to protect retreating fascists in case Soviet units attacked them from the rear. We were also in this column. We were hungry and thirsty. It was hard for my mother to walk. There were air raids few times and we hid in ditches along the road. We came as far as the outskirts of Lublin in Poland. There was another air raid and we fell into a ditch and mother covered us with her body to protect from bombs. When we rose to our feet we saw that we had been in a sewage gutter. We were dirty with stinking faces. Mother asked our guard permission to go wash ourselves in the river. We washed our clothes and ourselves. We were there two days. Fascists moved on and we went back to the east where our home was. We only met Soviet units on the way. Mother couldn’t help crying telling them our story. Soldiers felt sorry for us giving us a piece of bread or a piece of sugar. Few times we had meals in their field kitchen facilities. We felt so happy to be going back home! Vladimir-Volynskiy was liberated on 22 July 1944. We returned home in early August.

After the War

There were other tenants in our house and we found an abandoned apartment. We stayed to live there since its owners never came back. During the war 22,000 Jews from Vladimir-Volynskiy and surrounding areas were exterminated. There were only five Jewish families living in the town after the war, including us. We survived by miracle. 

In September 1944 our mother went to work as a primary school teacher and my brother and I went to the first form at school. He was seven and I was ten years old. I had to do many chores besides studying. In December 1944 our mother gave birth to a boy. She named him Grigori after our grandfather. She went back to work and I looked after the baby washing and feeding him. I loved him dearly.

Shortly after the victory in July 1945 our father returned home. He kissed us and went to talk with mother in the kitchen. He didn’t say anything about the baby. He and mother talked through the night. In the morning father had reddish eyes from sleepless night. He kissed us ‘good-bye’ and left. Our mother cried a lot. She told us that our father had another family. Our father told her what had happened to him through those years. He was in Zhmerinka when the war began. He went to look for us, but then there were Germans everywhere. Our father knew that Vladimir-Volynskiy was occupied and believed that were already dead. He even mentioned that he thought he saw our mother’s coat on a woman in Lutsk and this was a final proof for him that we were dead. He returned to Zhmerinka, got a truck and drove his parents and aunt Fania and her children to the railway station where they got on a train heading to the east. He also went with them. In the train he met a Jewish woman. Her name was Fira. He was suffering and he found consolation and sympathy with her. They parted on the next day. Our father took his relatives to Bugulma, in Tatarstan. I don’t know for what reason they decided to stay there. Father was recruited to the army. He served in a road construction unit installing bridges for the front line units. Our father corresponded with this unit and knew that she gave birth to a girl in 1942. The girl was named Ella. Our father asked our mother to forgive him and tried to explain that what happened to him was a result of the pain he suffered from thinking that we were dead. I don’t know whether he asked mother about Grisha. He decided that he and mother had to forget what had happened to them and live together again, but our mother was a proud woman. She never forgave our father. She said she had suffered too much during occupation and couldn’t forgive his faithlessness. She didn’t mention that she was unfaithful, though. She was probably concerned that our father could be unfair to her illegal baby. Our father went to Kiev where Fira and her daughter lived. He lived with his second family, but he didn’t lose hope to return our mother.

Our father’s sister Bella returned from evacuation and visited us several times. Grandmother Riva also returned from evacuation and kept asking mother to come live with her in Zhmerinka. Grandfather Yankel died in evacuation in Bugulma in 1942. Our grandmother begged our mother to forgive our father and let him come to live with us, but our mother never changed her mind about it. Our father came again in 1947, but our mother refused him again. We have a photo of our father wearing a Soviet military uniform and aunt Bella in Zhmerinka photographed after our mother’s final refusal in June 1947. Our father signed the photo ‘This is the most terrible day in my life’. I saw grandmother Riva once or twice after the war. She lived in Zhmerinka and died in the early 1960s.

Our life was very hard after the war. There was famine in 1946-47. Our father didn’t support us. He was either offended by mother’s refusal or our mother probably refused from his help. Our mother’s salary was hardly enough for us to live half a month. It was especially hard in summer when mother received her 3-month salary, but this money melted away promptly. We received bread per bread coupons. We also got a glass of milk at school, but not in summer when we were on vacation. Our mother bought flour and made pies and buns. She sent me to sell them at the market. She was probably concerned that she would be recognized and arrested for her activities since private entrepreneurship was forbidden. She traveled to Moscow to see her distant relatives several times. She bought women’s underwear, stockings and fabric and I went to sell them in our town. We also grew potatoes and other vegetables in our small kitchen garden. Basically, we were trying hard to survive.

My brother and I were the only Jewish children at school. Our teachers and schoolmates treated us well. When the state anti-Semitic campaign known as struggle against cosmopolitism 14 began in 1948 our mother was very worried. She read newspapers and didn’t sleep at night. She probably understood the absurdity of what was going on, but she never discussed this subject with us. This campaign had no impact on our town where there were about two dozens of Jews left.

My brother and I finished school in 1951. A year later we entered the Agronomical Faculty of the Agricultural College in Verkhovka village, Obodov district Vinnitsa region. We were the only Jewish students in this College. We lived in a hostel. My brother didn’t finish his studies. We received a stipend, but it was not enough for him. He kept asking me to give him money. He was constantly hungry. Before finishing his studies he quit and went to our father in Kiev. Our father was doing well and Tadik lived with him and worked additionally. Later he returned home, but again went back to our father. For few years he traveled between home and Kiev.

I remember Stalin’s death in 1953. We, students, were crying. We didn’t know how to live without him. We stood a guard of honor by his portrait in our College with tears in our eyes. My co-students were Ukrainian girls from surrounding villages. They had a good attitude toward me, but I never mentioned to anybody that I was in occupation. At that time there was official hostile attitude towards survivors in occupation during the war.

I began to meet with a Ukrainian guy in College. His name was Victor Puchalski. He was born in Aleksandrovka village, Vinnitsa region in 1932. He was the only child in his family and his parents spoiled him a lot. During the Great Patriotic War Victor stayed in his village. He saw fascist atrocities against Jews and he came to respecting Jewish people. I told him that I was a Jew and that we were in occupation during the war. Victor and I fell in love and actually became a husband and wife during our last year in College. His parents were also positive about our relationships. Victor’s two uncles were married to Jewish women, so there were Jews in their family already.

After finishing our College we came to my mother in Vladimir-Volynskiy. My mother didn’t care about his nationality. She saw that we were in love and this was what mattered to her. I was pregnant. We went to submit our documents to the registry office, but they refused to accept them. They explained that Victor did not have a residential permit 15 to live in the town. In the residential agency they refused to issue this permit to him since he was in no relation to me. My mother wasn’t a member of the Party, but she went to the district Party committee anyway to obtain their approval of our marriage. She managed to handle this issue for us. Victor and I got married. We didn’t have a wedding party. My mother just made a small dinner for our family and Victor’s father Andrei Puchalski who came to our wedding.

In 1957 our son Anatoli was born. I stayed at home and my husband was an agronomist in a kolkhoz near the town. Victor was an honest man and didn’t allow anybody to steal in the kolkhoz. The management of the kolkhoz was not quite happy about this situation. Once Victor bought a sack of potatoes from the kolkhoz, but they delivered a cart full of bags of potatoes trying to bribe my husband. He told them to take it back. Since then his bosses kept picking on him and fired for some minor drawback. Victor couldn’t find another job for a year. He turned to higher authorities and regional party committee, but couldn’t find justice with them. Then he wrote a letter to Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper [one of the most popular daily newspapers in the USSR]. He resumed his work after the newspaper interference. This time Victor was sent to work in a distant kolkhoz. I followed him there and my mother looked after Anatoli. I went to work as director of a store in this kolkhoz. I had a diploma of agronomist, but there was no employment for me. We didn’t stay long there since Victor lost his job again. We returned to Vladimir-Volynski and lived on my mother’s salary for almost a year. Victor’s parents and my father also supported us.

Some time later my father became director of construction material plant in Transcarpathian region with center in Ternopol town. His wife and daughter didn’t want to follow him to this provincial area and he offered us to come with him. My mother insisted that we accepted his offer. In 1959 Victor moved to Ternopol and got a job at the plant. Then he and my father returned to pick up my son and me and we left there. We lived in a one-room apartment that my father received for few years until Victor went to work at another plant and we received a 3-room apartment where we live now.

In 1961 our daughter Anna, named after my grandmother Hana, was born and in 1964 our daughter Evgenia was born. We were poor. I obtained a license for manufacture of flowers and wedding bouquets and made and sold my goods. I worked a lot at home sewing and knitting. My husband had stomach ulcer and went to resorts on vacation, but I couldn’t afford a vacation. My father’s family moved to Ternopol, but we didn’t keep in touch. They were very jealous about our father and I had nothing in common with my half-sister Ella. They were particularly jealous about my father and mother keeping in touch – by that time my father’s wife and daughter had moved to Ternopol. My mother never remarried. I think she always loved my father and hoped that they would be together one day, but my father never asked her again.

My brother Moro (we called him affectionately Tadik in the family) finished a Prosthodontic School and worked in Kiev. He was married three times. His wives were Jewish. With his latest wife Fira he moved to America in the late 1970s. They have a good life in New York. His son from his first marriage Fyodor and his daughter from the second marriage Izabella also live in the USA.

My second brother Grisha finished a school for electricians and worked in Vladimir-Volynski. In 1971 Grisha died in a car accident. My mother came to Ternopol: she came to live with me in 1967 when she retired. We buried Grisha in Ternopol. My mother was in deep sorrow and hardly ever left the house. My father died in Ternopol in 1978, We buried him at the town cemetery. His second wife and daughter live in the USA where they left in late 1980s.

Trouble has never left our family. My younger daughter Evgenia married a Ukrainian man after finishing school. His name was Grigori Kudiakov. Grigori went to serve in the army and my daughter gave birth to a boy. She named him Grigori after my brother who had perished. When the child was one year old Evgenia and her husband’s sister went to visit Grigori, her husband, in the north of Russia where he was on service. They stayed in a house. Grigori came to stay with them on a short leave. They stoked a stove in the house. They had a substantial dinner and they probably had a drink or few. They didn’t open a choke in the stove and were poisoned with charcoal gas. Grigori survived and Evgenia and his sister died. I didn’t think I could survive my younger daughter. One thing that helped me was caring about little Grigori. His father Grigori Kudiakov returned from the army and kept insisting that we gave his son back to him. He and his parents kept coming to our home abusing me and calling us ‘zhydy’ [kike]. They said they didn’t want the child to be raised in ‘zhydoski’ manner. I don’t know what they meant, but nothing good, I am sure. I decided against giving them the child of my beloved daughter. Grigori turned to court and the court decided to take my grandson from me. Then I packed and left with little Grisha. We traveled from one relative to another in Khmelnitskiy, Zhmerinka and Vinnitsa. We returned after Grigori promised my husband to leave my grandson to me and begged me to return to be able to see his son occasionally. We returned to Ternopol in 1985. My mother who had endured the death of my father, her son and granddaughter and was missing us, in addition lived only two months after we returned. She died in 1985. We buried her near the father’s grave.

However, trouble didn’t leave us then. My older son Anatoli entered a military school in Kamenets-Podolsk. After finishing it, he served in Georgia and then in Czechoslovakia. By that time he was married to a Ukrainian girl Maria. Then my son served in Latvia. His wife and their two daughters – Inna, born in 1976 and Anna, born in 1985 – were with him. In 1984 my son felt ill and came to me. He had to stay in bed. Doctors diagnosed that he had disseminated sclerosis. My son was ill for 17 years and for 15 of them he was confined to bed. His wife Maria and their children lived in the apartment that my son received in Ternopol. She also received his military pension, but she only rarely visited her husband. I was trying to do all I could to help my son live longer. My husband went back to live in his home village in 1992 there he grew vegetables in his kitchen garden. We separated since we decided that he could support us better living in the village and growing vegetables and fruit. Besides, my husband felt more comfortable living in a village. We lived separately ever since. My husband died in 2000. I stayed with my son cooking for him and giving food. I invited best doctors to consult him, but even now medicine is helpless against this terrible disease. We both enjoyed the time when I embroidered pictures sitting by his bedside. He liked the colors that replaced the colors of life for him. My son died in July 2003. He fell asleep and never woke up. Before he died he asked his wife to come to see him. She held his hands whispering something in his ear. She was probably saying her farewells and asked his forgiveness. I buried my son in accordance with Jewish traditions near my parents. Members of the Jewish community recited a prayer. Although Anatoli and my daughters were registered as Ukrainians, in his last years Anatoli read about Jews and Jewish life and felt closer to Jews. Anatoli’s daughters were raised as Ukrainian girls. Inna, the older daughter, finished a Pedagogical College in Ternopol. She is married and has two daughters: Svetlana and Ekaterina Soloviovs. Alla, the younger daughter, lives with her mother. They haven’t visited me after my son died. 

My daughter Anna lives in Khmelnitsk. She has a Jewish husband whose surname is Viller. After finishing the College of Economics in Ternopol, Anna went to work as an accountant. She works as an accountant for a private company now. She has a nice family. They observe Jewish traditions and they’ve raised their children Jewish. Their older son Evgeni, named after my daughter who perished, was born in 1986. He has finished school this year and is going to continue his studies in Israel under a students’ exchange program. Vitali, a younger son, born in 1889, goes to the 8th form at school.

Now I come to six graves of my close ones at the cemetery: my brother Grigori, my father and mother, my daughter Evgenia, my husband and my son Anatoli. The joy of my life is my grandson Grigori, Evgenia’s son. I’ve raised him Jewish, telling him about the Jewish history, traditions and culture and took him to a Jewish Sunday school. His father kept his promise: he often came to see his son and supported him, but never again tried to take him from me. My son-in-law hasn’t remarried. He comes to see me. Few years ago, in 1997 my grandson went to Israel under a students’ exchange program and decided to remain there. He serves in Israeli army now. Grigori observes Jewish traditions. He is religious, but he isn’t an orthodox Jew. He put a mezuzah on our front door. He calls me before each holiday, greets me and reminds me of what I have to do on each holiday. The other day he reminded me about fasting at Yom Kippur and I fasted. 

I’ve never been well-off in my life, but when perestroika 16 began in the late 1980s it made life unbearable. Therefore, I have negative feelings about perestroika. At the same time I am happy about a rebirth of the Jewish life. I am a member of thee Jewish community in Ternopol. There is a Hesed affiliate that provides assistance to old Jews. They deliver food packages and send a nurse to help me. Besides, I receive a German pension as victim of Holocaust and I can manage all right. We always observed Jewish holidays in the family, particularly when my mother lived with us. We bought matzah in underground bakeries before Pesach and observed Rosh Hashanah. I must say that my husband showed understanding to our needs. Now I observe Sabbath, light candles and pray over them on Friday evenings. I do not attend community events since I will be in the mourning for Anatoli for a year. I used to go to the community on Jewish holidays. I enjoyed the celebrations. I cannot attend them now. There is a lot of joy and entertainment at these celebrations while I feel like thinking about my son and praying for him. Then I would like to visit Grisha in Israel. Perhaps, I shall go there for good.

GLOSSARY:

1 Jewish Pale of Settlement

Certain provinces in the Russian Empire were designated for permanent Jewish residence and the Jewish population (apart from certain privileged families) was only allowed to live in these areas.

2 Russian Revolution of 1917

Revolution in which the tsarist regime was overthrown in the Russian Empire and, under Lenin, was replaced by the Bolshevik rule. The two phases of the Revolution were: February Revolution, which came about due to food and fuel shortages during WWI, and during which the tsar abdicated and a provisional government took over. The second phase took place in the form of a coup led by Lenin in October/November (October Revolution) and saw the seizure of power by the Bolsheviks.

3 Great Patriotic War

On 22nd June 1941 at 5 o’clock in the morning Nazi Germany attacked the Soviet Union without declaring war. This was the beginning of the so-called Great Patriotic War. The German blitzkrieg, known as Operation Barbarossa, nearly succeeded in breaking the Soviet Union in the months that followed. Caught unprepared, the Soviet forces lost whole armies and vast quantities of equipment to the German onslaught in the first weeks of the war. By November 1941 the German army had seized the Ukrainian Republic, besieged Leningrad, the Soviet Union's second largest city, and threatened Moscow itself. The war ended for the Soviet Union on 9th May 1945.

4 Komsomol

Communist youth political organization created in 1918. The task of the Komsomol was to spread of the ideas of communism and involve the worker and peasant youth in building the Soviet Union. The Komsomol also aimed at giving a communist upbringing by involving the worker youth in the political struggle, supplemented by theoretical education. The Komsomol was more popular than the Communist Party because with its aim of education people could accept uninitiated young proletarians, whereas party members had to have at least a minimal political qualification.

5 Keep in touch with relatives abroad

The authorities could arrest an individual corresponding with his/her relatives abroad and charge him/her with espionage, send them to concentration camp or even sentence them to death.

6 NEP

The so-called New Economic Policy of the Soviet authorities was launched by Lenin in 1921. It meant that private business was allowed on a small scale in order to save the country ruined by the October Revolution and the Civil War. They allowed priority development of private capital and entrepreneurship. The NEP was gradually abandoned in the 1920s with the introduction of the planned economy.

7 Nationalization

confiscation of private businesses or property after the revolution of 1917 in Russia.

8 Famine in Ukraine

In 1920 a deliberate famine was introduced in the Ukraine causing the death of millions of people. It was arranged in order to suppress those protesting peasants who did not want to join the collective farms. There was another dreadful deliberate famine in 1930-1934 in the Ukraine. The authorities took away the last food products from the peasants. People were dying in the streets, whole villages became deserted. The authorities arranged this specifically to suppress the rebellious peasants who did not want to accept Soviet power and join collective farms.

9 Kulaks

The majority of wealthy peasants that refused to join collective farms and give their grain and property to Soviet power were called kulaks, declared enemies of the people and exterminated in the 1930s.

10 Shared apartments

The Soviet power wanted to improve housing conditions by requisitioning ‘excess’ living space of wealthy families after the revolution of 1917. Apartments were shared by several families with each family occupying one room and sharing the kitchen, toilet and bathroom with other tenants. Because of the chronic shortage of dwelling space in towns shared apartments continued to exist for decades. Despite state programs for the construction of more houses and the liquidation of shared apartments, which began in the 1960s, shared apartments still exist today.

11 Struggle against religion

The 1930s was a time of anti-religion struggle in the USSR. In those years it was not safe to go to synagogue or to church. Places of worship, statues of saints, etc. were removed; rabbis, Orthodox and Roman Catholic priests disappeared behind KGB walls.

12 Annexation of Western Ukraine

on November 1 1939 the USSR officially approves annexation of Western Ukraine to Soviet Ukraine under the German-Soviet Molotov and Ribbentrop Non-Aggression Pact. The USSR also invaded Poland from the east and most Ukrainian populated territory to the Ukrainian SSR.

13 Ukrainian-Polish confrontation

1387 - XVIII century Poland rules Halychyna; 1569 - Lyublinska Uniya (Lublin Union) - All Ukrainian territory under Lithuanian rule (except Polissia and Beresteyshchyna) transfers to Poland; 1630 Ukrainian Kozak uprising against Poland; 1648 - Beginning of liberation of Ukraine from Polish rule headed by kozak het'man Bohdan Khmelnytsky; 1793 - Transfer of lands on the Right Bank to Russia from Poland excluding Halychyna, Bukovyna, Volyn and a part of Polissya, already annexed by Austria. Western Ukraine fell under the rule of Polish rules throughout its history and Ukrainian people historically struggled for independence from invaders.

14 Campaign against ‘cosmopolitans’

The campaign against ‘cosmopolitans’, i.e. Jews, was initiated in articles in the central organs of the Communist Party in 1949. The campaign was directed primarily at the Jewish intelligentsia and it was the first public attack on Soviet Jews as Jews. ‘Cosmopolitans’ writers were accused of hating the Russian people, of supporting Zionism, etc. Many Yiddish writers as well as the leaders of the Jewish Anti-Fascist Committee were arrested in November 1948 on charges that they maintained ties with Zionism and with American ‘imperialism’. They were executed secretly in 1952. The anti-Semitic Doctors’ Plot was launched in January 1953. A wave of anti-Semitism spread through the USSR. Jews were removed from their positions, and rumors of an imminent mass deportation of Jews to the eastern part of the USSR began to spread. Stalin’s death in March 1953 put an end to the campaign against ‘cosmopolitans’.

15 Residence permit

The Soviet authorities restricted freedom of travel within the USSR through the residence permit and kept everybody’s whereabouts under control. Every individual in the USSR needed residential registration; this was a stamp in the passport giving the permanent address of the individual. It was impossible to find a job, or even to travel within the country, without such a stamp. In order to register at somebody else’s apartment one had to be a close relative and if each resident of the apartment had at least 8 square meters to themselves.

16 Perestroika

Soviet economic and social policy of the late 1980s. Perestroika [restructuring] was the term attached to the attempts (1985–91) by Mikhail Gorbachev to transform the stagnant, inefficient command economy of the Soviet Union into a decentralised market-oriented economy. Industrial managers and local government and party officials were granted greater autonomy, and open elections were introduced in an attempt to democratise the Communist party organisation. By 1991, perestroika was on the wane, and after the failed August Coup of 1991 was eclipsed by the dramatic changes in the constitution of the union.

Domonkos Miksa - A Pokol Polgármestere

Egyedi magyar történet, gyűjteményünk különlegessége. Domonkos Miksa az Osztrák-Magyar Monarchia idején az első világháborúban szolgált, és elismert, többszörösen kitüntett katonatiszt volt. A második világháború alatt gyakorlatilag a budapesti gettó polgármestere volt; ételt, ellátást, gyórgyszereket hozatott a gettóba, együtt dolgozott Raoul Wallenberggel és sokat tett , hogy embereket védelmezzen és életeket mentsen. Az 1950-es években Domonkos Miksát letartóztatta és elhurcolta a kommunista Államvédelmi Hatóság, az ÁVO, azzal a váddal, hogy ő ölte meg Wallenberget.
Egy figyelemre méltó történet emberi bátorságról és tragédiáról.

Miksa Domonkos: The Mayor Who Worked In Hell

A story from Hungary unlike any other in our collection. Miksa Domonkos was a decorated soldier in the Austro-Hungarian Army in the First World War. During the Second World War, he acted as the de facto mayor of the infamous Budapest ghetto, bringing in food and medicine to save lives, and working closely with Raoul Wallenberg to protect even more. In the 1950s, the Communist secret police arrested Miksa Domonkos and accused him of murdering Wallenberg. A story of remarkable bravery, and of tragedy.

Повернення до Рівне: Історія Голокосту

Це найбільш незвичайний фільм CENTROPA на сьогоднішній день. Шеллі Вейнер та Рая Кіжнерман живуть в місті Грінсборо, штат Північна Кароліна. Але, ці дві доброзичливі бабусі народилися в галасливому місті Рівне – на той час в Польщі, зараз в Україні. У 1941 році в Рівному проживали 20 000 євреїв. Проте, коли німецький Вермахт і Ваффен СС увірвалися в місто, вони планували вбити кожного знайденого єврея. Як Шеллі та Рая пережили це масове вбивство, вони розповідають самі, не довго після того, як відвідали Рівне в 2013 році. Старі фотографіії та вишукані, виконані на замовлення, малюнки художника Емми Флік. Анімаційний дизайн Вольфганга Ельса.

Return to Rivne: A Holocaust Story

Centropa’s most unusual film to date. Shelly Weiner and Raya Kizhnerman live in Greensboro, NC. But these two kindly grandmothers were born in the bustling city of Rivne—then in Poland, now in Ukraine. In 1941 20,000 Jews lived in Rivne, but when the German Wehrmacht and the Waffen SS stormed into town, they planned on murdering every Jew they could find. How Shelly and Raya survived the massacre is a story they tell themselves, not long after they visited Rivne in 2013. With old photographs and exquisite, custom-made drawings by artist Emma Flick. Motion graphics by Wolfgang Els.

Dósai Istvánné

Életrajz

Dósai Istvánné külkereskedelmi munkája révén bejárta a világot. Kellemes, szépen berendezett újlipótvárosi lakásában beszélgettünk, sok könyv és külföldről hozott emlék között.

A felmenőimről általában a nagyszüleimig vannak személyes emlékeim és tudomásom. De van egy unokatestvérem, aki régóta kutatja a családfánkat és tőle – az interjú kapcsán – szereztem tudomást több ősömről, így például megtudtam, hogy volt két főrabbi is az őseim között. Az egyik: Friedländer Ármin (született 1790–95 között Bonyhádon), aki Meir Zvi néven (vagy Meir Hirsch néven, mert állítólag a német Hirsch – szarvas – megfelelője a héber Zvi) volt először Bonyhádon segédrabbi, majd Nagysurányban lett főrabbi [Nagysurány – nagyközség Nyitra vm.-ben, 1891-ben 4600 lakossal. A trianoni békeszerződéssel Csehszlovákiához került. – A szerk.]. Itt tudományos munkáival is kitűnt, szerepel a Zsidó Lexikonban is [F. Meir Hirsch], anyai nagyanyám anyjának, Friedländer Rozáliának az apja volt.

A másik főrabbi: a fenti dédnagyanyámnak, Friedländer Rozáliának a testvére volt Friedländer Erzsébet, ennek egyik fia volt Brach Salamon, aki 1865-ben, Nyitrán született [Nyitra város Nyitra vm. székhelye volt, lakosainak száma az 1850-es években már meghaladta a 9000 főt. – A szerk.]. Hihetetlen nagyon sokáig élt, 1940-ben halt meg Kassán. Ő a nyitrai jesivában tanult, majd Nagymagyarra hívták, ahol kb. 1890–1910 között volt rabbi [Nagymagyar – kisközség volt Pozsony vm.-ben, 1891-ben 1200, 1910-ben 1300 lakossal. A trianoni békeszerződéssel Csehszlovákiához került. – A szerk.]. Innét 1910-ben Nagykárolyba ment a családjával. Itt volt főrabbi kb. 1925-ig, ekkor újból a Felvidékre, Kassára ment, itt volt ortodox főrabbi. A kassai temetőben ma is létezik a sírja, ami a korabeli szokásoknak megfelelően egy kis ház, ablakkal, benne egy igen egyszerű, kőből faragott, nem díszes sír, ahogyan az ortodox főrabbikat temetni szokás volt. Brach Salamon tehát apai nagyanyám unokaöccse volt. Ezt mind ez az unokatestvérem találta meg levéltárakban [A szlovákiai temetők internetes honlapja (Virtuálne Cintoríny Slovenska) tartalmaz Brach Salamonra vonatkozó adatokat: e szerint 1924-től volt kassai rabbi, és 1929-től főrabbi. Felesége neve: Manželka Regina, született Krausz. Brach Salamonnak hét fia és öt lánya volt. – A szerk.].

Ipolyságon a mai napig az apai fölmenőimnek hihetetlen hosszan visszamenőleg megvan a családi sírboltja [Ipolyság – nagyközség volt Hont vm.-ben, 1919-ig székhelye volt a vármegye törvényhatóságának, a járási szolgabírói hivatalnak, kir. törvényszéknek, járásbíróságnak és egyéb megyei és járási hivataloknak. Lakosainak száma 1891-ben 3200, 1910-ben 4200, 1919-ben 4700 fő volt. A trianoni békeszerződéssel Csehszlovákiához került. – A szerk.]. Állítólag 1790-ig az Osztrák–Magyar Monarchiában a zsidóknak nem volt vezetékneve. Hanem úgy, ahogy ma például az arab országokban, a fiú az apja keresztnevét vette föl, tehát mondjuk, Mose ben Joachim, tehát Joachim fia, Mózes. És 1790-ben hoztak egy olyan kötelező erejű rendeletet, hogy nekik is be kell írni a vezetéknevet [A rendeletet 1788-ban hozták. Lásd: zsidó vezetéknevek. – A szerk.]. A családfakutató unokatestvérem azt mondja, hogy nem száz százalékig bizonyított, de az ő kutatásai alapján úgy lett a család Hirschberg, hogy a ma is meglévő németországi Hirschberg nevezetű községből származtak. Ő kutatta, hogy vajon mi Hirschberg vagy Hirschbergerek vagyunk-e. Kiderítette, hogy „er” nélkül az igazi, csak el lett egyszer írva. 

Apai dédnagyapám, Hirschberger Ignác Nagysárón született, ez Hont és Bars megye határán volt [Nagysáró – Bars vm.-i kisközség, 1891-ben 1000 főnyi lakossal. A trianoni békeszerződéssel Csehszlovákiához került, ma Veľke Šarovce néven Szlovákiához tartozik. – A szerk.]. Tompán élt mint nagybirtokos, de kocsmája is volt. Tompa Hont vármegyében volt, legalábbis nagyapám és nagyanyám Nyitrán l897-ben kiállított házassági anyakönyvi kivonata szerint [A Hont vm.-ben lévő Kistompa nevű településről van szó, ahol a lakosok száma az 1910-es népszámlálás idején alig haladta meg a 190 főt. – A szerk.]. Felesége, dédnagyanyám, Fauféder (egyes anyakönyvek szerint: Faunféder) Háni. Az eredeti Háni név gyakran mint Johanna vagy magyarul Janka szerepel. Ő 1851-ben született, Vámosladányban [Vámosladány ­– kisközség volt Bars vm.-ben, 1891-ben közel 1300 lakossal. Trianon után Csehszlovákiához került. – A szerk.], meghalt 1917-ben. Az érdekesség kedvéért említem itt, hogy a dédszüleim tíz gyermeke közül három fiú már 1905-ben Hollóra magyarosította a nevét [lásd: névmagyarosítás]. Valószínűleg ezért magyarosított apám és Ottó bátyja 1945-ben szintén Hollóra.

Apai nagyapám anyakönyvezett neve Hirschberger Joachim volt, a nagyapja után, aki 1791-ben született Petschauban [Petschau Csehországban van, Karlovy Varytól délre, ma Bečov nad Teplounak hívják. – A szerk.]. Ükapám 1858-ban halt meg, felesége Hahn Katalin volt, aki született 1813-ban, Strassnitzban [Straussnitz (a mai Stružnice Csehországban). – A szerk.], de nem tudjuk, hol és mikor halt meg. Még élt 1869-ben, ekkor mint özvegy kereskedőnőről van róla feljegyzés. Az ükszüleim a Felvidéken éltek. Apai nagyapám Magyarországon az Ármin keresztnevet használta. Erről annyit tudtam meg, hogy a német Joachim név idővel „átment” Hermanba, majd ezt használták Magyarországon Árminként.

A dédszüleim nagyon jómódú emberek voltak. Földbirtokaik voltak, dédapám a nagyapámat ott először gabonaügynökként foglalkoztatta, így is találkozott össze a nagymamámmal. Ugyanis nagyanyám apja, Wertheimer Mór gabonakereskedő volt, nagyapám apjának a birtokain pedig gabona termett, így a két apa (a két dédapám) üzleti kapcsolatban állt egymással. Még az is feltételezhető, hogy a kor szokásainak is megfelelően a szülők beszélték meg a házasságkötést is. A nagyapámnak volt kilenc testvére, és ezeket különböző üzleti ágakra oszthatta be a család. Voltak köztük, akik gabonatermesztéssel és kereskedéssel foglalkoztak, volt, akinek kocsmája volt, azután elkezdtek textillel is foglalkozni. A századfordulón, ami textíliával kapcsolatos, az Bécs, tehát átköltözött egy részük Bécsbe, így nagyapámék is. Apám és az összes testvére már ott született. Aztán 1910-ben Bécsből átköltöztek Budapestre. Feltételezem, hogy ebben szerepe lehetett az Újpesten lévő Újpest-Warsdorfi  szövőgyárnak, ami valószínűleg részben a tulajdonuk lehetett, mindenesetre apám egy ideig ott dolgozott. Ezek az ismeretek csak a gyerekkoromból származó családi elbeszélésekre épülnek. A textilgyár egy magyar–osztrák gyár volt. Azt hiszem, ez volt az elődje az Újpesti Gyapjúszövőgyárnak [Az újpesti Warnsdorfi Szövetgyár Rt.-ről van szó, amely 1949-ig magánvállalatként működött, akkor magába olvasztotta az Újpesti Gyapjúfonó- és Szövőgyár Rt., amelyet 1948-ban államosítottak, és az Iparügyi Minisztérium Posztóipari Központja irányítása alá rendelték, és amely ekkor vette föl az Újpesti Gyapjúszövőgyár nevet. – A szerk.]. Az épületei egyébként ma is megvannak. Az apu később ennek kapcsán tanulhatta ki a textiltechnikusságot. Amikor összeházasodtak anyámmal, akkor egy ideig ott is laktak a gyár területén. Akkoriban divat volt, hogy egy nagyobb gyárnál a tulajdonosnak meg a vezető tisztviselőknek ott volt saját tisztviselőlakás-rész, és ott laktak. Jellemző még nagyapám üzleti érzékére, hogy az 1920-as években már egy mozit is bérelt vagy tulajdonolt, ezt nem tudom pontosan, Budapesten, a Visegrádi utca 11-ben. Ez volt a Diana mozi, aminek azért lett jelentősége, mert apám és anyám itt ismerkedett meg: ugyanis anyámék ebben a házban laktak ekkor, és mint ifjú, nagyon szép lány sokat járt a házban lévő moziba, ahol apám is sokat megfordult mint a tulaj vagy bérlő fia [A Visegrádi utca 11/a. számú ház nyitott belső udvarában működött a Diana mozi. Nem tudjuk pontosan, mikor indult, 1914-ből van adat róla. Egyike volt azoknak a moziknak, amelyeknek nem sikerült átmenteniük magukat az 1930-as évek elején a némafilm korszakából a hangosfilm korszakába. – A szerk.].

Nagyanyám, Wertheimer Netti 1874-ben született. Tízen voltak gyerekek. Úgy anyakönyvezték, hogy Netti, de nekem mindig Anna nagymama volt. Az Anna nagymama soha nem tanult meg rendesen magyarul, csak németül beszélt, valószínűleg gimnáziumban érettségizett [A nagymama születési évét tekintve ez valószínűtlen. Lásd: nők a felsőoktatásban. – A szerk.] Ez egy nagyon vallásos ortodox család volt. Azt hiszem, hogy az Anna nagymama nagyon vallásos lehetett. Onnét gondolom, mert a gyerekkoromra úgy emlékszem vissza, hogy megtartottak minden ünnepet, a nagymama templomba is járt a nagyobb ünnepeken. Mivel a nagymamám unokatestvére és a nagyapja is főrabbi volt, érthető, hogy ő tényleg vallásos asszony volt, aki mindent betartott. De a nagyapám már egy neológ családból származott. Nagymamának volt egy gyönyörű, fekete ünnepi csipkekendője. És azzal ment mindig, amikor templomba ment hosszúnapkor [Jom Kipur]. Az volt a szokás, hogy a nagymamát elkísértük a templomba, otthagytuk, ő egész nap ott imádkozott, a család egy része még böjtölt is. Este érte kellett menni, és mikor hazajött, akkor jött a gyönyörű ünnepi vacsora. Tényleg szép szokások voltak egyébként, egy hely mindig üresen állt annak, hogyha valaki jön. Apámnak és a nagyapámnak volt még  imaszíja és tálesze, amit magukra tettek, amikor imádkoztak.

A család az apámék részéről is elneológosodott. Bár a hagyományokat mindig tartották. Étkezési szokásokban, nagyobb ünnepek betartásában és egy bizonyos fokig életmódban. Kóserül étkeztek, külön tartották a tejes és húsos edényeket [lásd: étkezési törvények], az ünnepeket megtartották, Jom Kipurkor böjtöltek, Pészahkor, szédereste a má nistánót [lásd: má nistáná] sokáig én mondtam, mint a legkisebb.

Apám szüleinek volt öt gyerekük. Sajnos kettő már gyerekkorában meghalt. Szörnyű módon haltak meg, savanyúcukortól megfulladtak. Én így ismertem a családi legendát, de az unokatestvérem kiderítette, hogy állítólag csak az egyik, a másik valamilyen torokgyíkszerűségben. Úgyhogy nálunk a családban, amióta az eszemet tudom, gyerekeknek kemény savanyúcukrot adni nem lehetett. A kisebbik lányom volt már vagy húsz éves, mikor erre rájött: „Te jó Isten! Hát ezért irigyeltem én gyerekkoromban mindenkit, hogy van savanyúcukruk, és én nem kaphattam!”

Lehettek apámék, mondjuk, olyan tíz évesek, amikor egy szép napon a bátyja, Ottó nagyon belázasodott. Negyven fokos láza lett, és fájt minden tagja, és a nagymamám, ahogy az akkor szokásos volt többgyerekes családban, hogyha valamilyen fertőző betegség vagy influenza van, essenek rajta egyszerre túl a gyerekek, és így, ahogy megfürdette a nagybátyámat, abban a vízben végigfürdette a többit. A nagybátyám gyermekbénulást kapott. Mindkét lába megbénult, és egész életében mindkét lábán géppel tudott csak járni. És a nagyanyám, úgy mondják, hogy azon az egy-két éjszakán, amikor ez kiderült, vagyis lebénultan ott maradt az egyik gyereke, és ő várta, hogy a többivel mikor lesz, hófehérre őszült. Én már úgy emlékszem rá, hogy ezüstfehér haja volt.

Az apai nagyszüleim a Rákóczi út 62-ben laktak. Ez egy gyönyörű, legalább öt- vagy hatszobás nagypolgári lakás volt, csodaszép selyemtapétákkal végigtapétázva, nagyon szép bútorokkal, festményekkel, rengeteg könyv volt, illett tudni még a németen kívül is egy nyelvet. A nagybátyám, ha fölmentünk apámmal hozzájuk gyerekkoromban, akkor kifaggatott latinból, elém rakott egy adag Cicerót, hogy most fordítsam le – mert ugye gimnáziumba jártam, és latinos voltam. Úgyhogy azt mondanám, hogy egy tipikus pesti értelmiségi életet éltek. Apámék családja németül úgy beszélt, mint magyarul. Apám maga is meg a nagybátyám, mindegy volt nekik, hogy németül vagy magyarul beszélnek-e. Náluk természetes volt, hogy sokszor németül beszéltek. Apámék családjában a napi politikai élet beszédtéma volt, vitatkoztak, újságot járattak. Egy kifejezetten liberális szellemű család volt, és amellett szabadgondolkodó, mindenre nyitott család volt apáméké.

A nagyapámnak volt egy lótenyészete is, habár ez a legendák körébe tartozik, és nem tudom, hogy mennyiben volt igaz. Nyilván az 1928–29-es világválság [lásd: 1929-es gazdasági világválság] lehetett az alapja annak, hogy tönkrement a szövőgyár, tönkrement a lótenyészet. És a nagyapám 1930. december 4-én öngyilkos lett. Ott laktak akkor Budapesten, a Rákóczi úton, és ő kiugrott a negyedik emeleti lakásuk előtt a körfolyosóról az udvarra, és meghalt.

Az apáméknál a család jó anyagi körülmények között élt. Kivéve, amikor a nagypapa öngyilkos lett. Akkor nagyon rájuk járhatott a rúd, mert apám akkor egyetemre járt, hogy textilmérnök legyen, és abbahagyta, elment dolgozni. Nem tudom, hogy hová, de ő tartotta el akkor a családot, mert a testvére, az Ottó nem tudott járni, másrészt tanult, egyetemre járt, és őbelőle ügyvéd lett.

Amikor Ottó nagybátyám megnősült, az Anna nagymama nagy bánatára a saját gépírónőjét –egy nagyon szép, nem zsidó, sváb nőt –, Hausler Piroskát vette el, aki hogy a felesége lehessen a nagybátyámnak, be is tért. Az esküvő a lakáson volt, oda kijött a rabbi, és a hüpe alatt eskette őket.

Az anyai nagymamám, Sitzman Zosia [1890 körül – 1954] valahol a mai Lengyelországban született. A Zosia nevet használták később Magyarországon Zsófiaként, nekem mindig csak Tutyu nagymama volt. Az apja egy nagy földbirtokon volt intéző. A nagymamámnak az anyja a szülésbe belehalt. A nagymamám apjának mint intézőnek a ló volt a normál közlekedési eszköze, és egyszer a ló megbokrosodott, levetette magáról [a dédapát], és meghalt. A nagymamám árva maradt, ekkor lehetett úgy négy-öt éves. A nagyanyám anyjának néhány rokona itt élt Magyarországon, valahol Dömsödön, odakerült a nagyanyám, iszonyú rossz sorba. Anyámtól tudtam meg, hogy ezekhez a nagynéni-nagybácsiszerű rokonaihoz került, azok nevelték föl, de cselédként tartották a nagymamámat. A családot kiszolgálta, cipőt pucolt, a konyhában aludt. Nem járatták iskolába. A nagyanyám felnőtt korában tanult meg írni és olvasni.

Édesanyám apja Beke Mihály [Dömsöd, 1885 körül – Budapest, 1944] volt. Ez a nagyapám római katolikus volt. Ez egy dömsödi középbirtokos parasztcsalád volt, dohányföldjeik voltak. Szóval elég jómódúak lehettek, voltak vagy hatan testvérek. Amikor a nagyapám megismerkedett a nagymamámmal, aki egy gyönyörű nő volt, teljesen beleszeretett, olyannyira, hogy betért. A nagypapát körül is metélték. Itt nem volt mese, mert különben nem lett volna elfogadva. Őt ezért a családja kitagadta. Összesen maradt egy testvére, a Róza néni, aki tartotta vele a kapcsolatot.

A nagymama templomegere szegény volt, a nagypapámnak, azzal együtt, hogy vegyes házasság miatt kitagadták a családból, valami jussa nyilván lehetett. A házasságkötésük után beköltöztek Pestre, és a nagymamám nyitott egy baromfikereskedést a Lehel piacon, de a háború alatt [az első világháború alatt] a bolt nem ment. A nagyapám persze bevonult katonának, hadifogoly is volt. A nagymama a gyerekeit abból tartotta el, hogy mosást vállalt otthon. Amikor a nagyanyám „házhoz” ment mosni, akkor anyám főzött otthon. De olyan kicsi volt, hogy nem érte föl a sparheltet, és hokedlire állt, úgy főzött a testvéreinek. A Lehel téri baromfikereskedése a nagymamámnak még az én gyerekkoromban is megvolt. Ez egy kóser baromfibolt volt a piacon, volt ilyen ott több is. Az élő baromfit, libát, kacsát, tyúkot a sakter vágta le. Vagy kijött a nagymama standjára vágni és kóserolni, vagy hozzá vitték az állatokat.

A nagymamám meg a nagypapám nem éltek jól, bár lett hat gyerekük. Anyám, Margit meg az ikerpárja, Aladár 1910-ben született. Akkor Lenke, Piroska és László, és volt a legkisebb, Ibike, aki meghalt gyerekkorában. Amikor véget ért a világháború, a nagyapám hazajött. Még egy pár évig együtt éltek nagyanyámmal, akkor valamennyire föllendült a kereskedés, de  különváltak, mert a nagypapát a nagymama nem bírta, se a könnyelműségét, se azt, hogy ivott. Ez a két különböző kultúrából való jövetel, valószínűnek tartom, ez nem jött össze.

A nagyapám nagyon szép szál ember volt, és ahogy anyámtól hallottam, kicsit dzsentris allűrjei voltak. Például a komája meghívta őt, hogy a lányának legyen a keresztapja, akkor vett egy pár briliáns fülbevalót neki, az öt gyereknek meg otthon éppen nem volt mit enni. Reggel úgy kelt föl – ezt még én is láttam gyerekkoromban –, hogy egy féldeci pálinkát bedobott. Ezt a nagymamám nagyon rosszul tűrte, és különváltak. El nem váltak soha. És ő soha többé a nagyapámmal még csak szóba sem állt. Aki tartotta vele a kapcsolatot, és aki mindvégig szeretetteljes viszonyban volt a nagyapámmal, az anyám volt. Ilyen módon gyerekkoromban nagyapámmal sokat találkoztam. Nagyon tehetséges volt, citerákat készített. Ő maga is szépen citerázott.

Ami a családban egy híres történet volt, és amit anyám meg a testvérei meg nagyanyám meglehetős megvetéssel meséltek el az anyai nagyapám családjáról mint csökönyös parasztokról: dohányföldjeik voltak, volt vagy hat gyerek, jött az első világháború, és több korosztályt hívtak be katonának. A nagyapám egyik testvére, hogy ne vigyék el katonának, úgy gondolta, hogy egy kicsit megbetegíti magát. És ezért egy köteg dohánylevelet beáztatott, és megitta. Hát katonának nem is vitték el, csak vitték a temetőbe, mert természetesen a megivott dohánylébe belehalt. Elég morbid történet, és ezt úgy mesélték mindig teljesen kiborulva anyámék, hogy micsoda csökönyös fajzat, és micsoda buták, hogy ezt csinálták. Én se tudtam erre mást mondani vagy gondolni. Ez nagyon eltért az ő gondolkodásmódjuktól, amiben a nagyanyám részéről biztosan az volt, hogy mindent túl kell élni, és mindig valamit csinálni kell, hogy túléljük.

Az anyai nagyanyám elég kemény asszony volt. Egy ilyen pionírasszony-szerűség volt, egy kőkemény és erős nő, aki gyakorlatilag egyedül nevelte föl az öt gyerekét. Meg kell mondanom, hogy így is viselkedett a gettóban is. Ő tartotta a családban a lelket, aki azt mondta, hogy mindent túl lehet élni, és túl fogjuk élni. Predesztinálta őt az az elképesztő gyerekkor, ő azt tanulta meg, hogy túl kell élni. Nagyapáméknál meg ezek szerint az lehetett, hogy hogyan lehet kibújni a kötelezettség alól, és így ráfáztak.

Van egy olyan családi legenda, hogy akkor voltak osztálysorsjegyek. Lehetett egészet venni, felet, negyedet, nyolcadot és a többi [Az osztálysorsjáték 1897-től állt fenn. Az állam az osztálysorsjáték rendezésének jogát az állami ellenőrzés fenntartásával 20 évre egy magánvállalatnak engedte át. A vállalat #1/8, #1/4, #1/2 és egész sorsjegyeket bocsátott ki, és minden évben két sorsjátékot rendezett. Egy-egy játék 6 osztályból (húzásból) állt, és minden hónapra egy-egy húzás esett. A legkisebb részsorsjegy ára legalább 1,5 korona volt. – A szerk.]. A nagymama vett egyszer egy ilyen sorsjegyet, de közbejött valamilyen iskolai rendezvény, és anyuéknak nem volt cipőjük. A nagymama lement a szomszéd suszterhoz, és azt mondta, hogy nincs pénze, de odaadná ezt a sorsjegyet, ha megtenné, hogy az anyámnak meg az ikerbátyjának két magas szárú cipőt csinál. Így a gyerekeknek a vizsgán volt szép cipőjük. Nos, ez a sorsjegy ütötte meg a főnyereményt. Anyám úgy meséli, hogy éjszakákon át hangosan sírt a nagyanyám.

Anyai nagyanyámék a Visegrádi utca 11-ben laktak. Később aztán nagyanyámnak volt egy háromszobás lakása a Bulcsú utca 21/b-ben, ahol ott lakott anyám két húga is: Lenke a férjével és Piroska. Egy háromszobás nagyon szép lakás volt, megvan most is. Ez egy nagyon szépen, kispolgári módon berendezett lakás volt. Méghozzá úgy, hogy bár senki a családban komolyan nem zenélt, még zongora is volt benne. A zongorán csipketerítő volt, azon pedig zöld meg bordó Zsolnay eozin dísztárgyak [Az eozin jellegzetes, a Zsolnay-kerámiákon alkalmazott színjátszó színezőanyag. – A szerk.] – én borzasztónak találtam, de nagyanyáméknak tetszett.

Amikor önálló volt a család [Azaz a nagypapa már nem lakott velük – A szerk.], anyámék nehéz körülmények között éltek, ez teljesen biztos. De aztán a dolog javulhatott. Szerintem a nagymama kereskedői tevékenysége folytán. A sakter időnként ment hozzá, és ott valamit fújt, és lepecsételte, és akkor azok kóser dolgok voltak, ami vágott volt [A sakter valószínűleg a levágott állat légcsövét fújta föl, ellenőrizendő, nem volt-e sérült, és ilyenformán tréfli a baromfi. Ha nem, ha a levágott szárnyas megfelelt a kóserség szabályainak, megkapta az ezt igazoló pecsétet. Lásd még: hechser. – A szerk.]. Az élő az nem, mert nála élő baromfit is lehetett kapni, meg vágottat is. A nagymama éjjel 3 körül kelt, 4 órára ment megvenni az állatokat, amiket egy hordár húzott kézikocsin a standjára, a Lehel téri piacra.

Anyámék családja semmilyen nyelven nem beszélt. Kivéve a nagyapámat, aki az első világháborúban olasz hadifogságba esett, megtanult olaszul, és megtanult – mert voltak ott angolok is – valamennyire angolul is. Azon a nyelven fejtett keresztrejtvényt, meg olvasott. Az anyai nagyanyámék családja kevésbé volt politikus, és kevésbé volt liberális, mint apámé, de  egy nagyon praktikus család volt. Anyám a napi életben nagyon jól kiismerte magát, és anyám húgai is. Szellemileg meglehetősen nagy volt a differencia, de ez soha nem érződött például a családi összejöveteleken. Nagyon jóban voltak egymással. De van egy nagyon érdekes dolog, most jutott eszembe. Vasárnaponként időnként együtt mentek futballmeccsre, vagy meghallgatták, amikor már volt a rádióban meccsközvetítés. Mindegyikük más csapatnak szurkolt, apám az MTK-nak, anyám ikertestvére, Aladár, aki a Vasasban bokszolt, persze a Vasasnak, anyám sógora, Lenke húga férje a Fradinak Így hát késhegyig menő viták voltak a meccsről, a csapatokról [lásd: világnézet és foci]. De vitáztak az aktuális kül- és belpolitikai eseményekről is, amit nem egyformán pesszimistán ítéltek meg. Elsősorban a zsidótörvényekről [lásd: zsidótörvények Magyarországon] folyt a szó, hogy mi jöhet még.

Az az érzésem, hogy az anyámék családja hagyományőrző okokból tartotta, amit tartott. Tehát nem hinném, hogy kifejezetten vallásos szemléletűek lettek volna. Nagyon szép széderesték voltak nálunk [Mármint az anyai nagymama lakásában – A szerk.], gyerekkoromban. Emlékszem rá, gyönyörű volt. Úgy kezdődött, hogy nagyanyám befogta az összes lányát, akik már külön laktak, akik házasok voltak, mint anyám például. Akkor fölmentek a padlásra, onnét előszedtek kóser edényeket, ami gyönyörű porcelán volt. Azokat lehozták. Akkor folyt egy hatalmas nagytakarítás [lásd: homecolás; Pészah]. Porszívó akkor még nem volt, mindent kisöpörtek, kiráztak, hogy ne maradjon morzsa se. [Szédereste] gyönyörű damaszttal megterítve, kihúzva az ebédlőben a nagyasztal, és csodaszép dolgokra emlékszem: a macesz az asztalon meg egyéb kellékei a széderesti asztalnak, amiből a diókrémet [Az interjúalany a hároszetre gondol. – A szerk.], azt nagyon szerettem. Aztán a torma meg bor meg minden. És nagyon sokáig, amíg én voltam a legkisebb, én mondtam a má nistánót [lásd: má nistáná]. Még ma is úgy a negyedéig el tudnám mondani. Úgyhogy ilyenek voltak. Ezek nagyon szép emlékeim. De meg kell mondanom, hogy ettől eltekintve, senki senkit nem nevelt arra, hogy vallásos legyen. 

Anyai nagyapám 1944 nyarán megbetegedett. Valami nagyon súlyos betegség kapta el, és kórházba került. 1944 nyarán már ugye nagy bajok voltak. Már kijárni sem lehetett teljesen simán [A zsidók számára kijárási tilalmat a csillagos házak kialakítása után vezettek be: 1944. június végétől ezeket a házakat csak meghatározott időpontok között volt szabad elhagyni. – A szerk.]. De az anyu változatlanul járt be hozzá, meg küldött be hozzá küldöncöt, akivel küldött be neki cigarettát, tiszta fehérneműt, ennivalót, pénzt és a többit. Aztán akkor nyáron meg is halt a kórházban.

Találtam egy levelet, amit a nagyapám írt anyámnak a kórházból 1944 nyarán: Drága Mancikám! Köszönöm, hogy ezt meg ezt küldtél, most engem áthelyeztek egy másik kórterembe, nem érzem magam nagyon jól, mert csupa zs. [azaz zsidó] között vagyok. Írja a nagyapám az anyámnak, aki fél zsé, továbbá sárga csillagot viselve jár be hozzá a kórházba! Anyámat ez valószínűleg nagyon megrendíthette, bár soha nekem erről nem szólt egy szót se, mert ezt a levelet 1944-ben eltette, és a haláláig őrizte. A sors iróniája, hogy anyám zsidó temetőbe temettette el őt 1944 nyarán.

Anyai nagymamám körülbelül 1954-ben halt meg.

Anyám testvérei közül Aladár, az ikertestvére magas, szép férfi volt, nagyapámra hasonlított. Ő autószerelő volt, a Vasasban bokszolt amatőrként. Munkaszolgálatra vitték, Ukrajnában halt meg, valószínűleg 1942-ben. Lenke húga férjhez ment Breitner Sándorhoz, akinek egy nagy hentesüzlete volt, ugyancsak a Lehel téri piacon. Piroska húga lány maradt, konyhavezetőként dolgozott az apám által szervezett Joint konyhák egyikén, amíg ezek léteztek. László öccse a munkaszolgálatot megúszta – nem emlékszem már, hol is volt –, hazajött, rendőrtiszt lett, innét nyugdíjazták.

Anyámék a Visegrádi utca 11. szám alatt laktak. Abban az udvarban volt egy Diana nevezetű mozija az apai nagyapáméknak. Ott ismerkedett meg anyám és apám, 1929-ben volt az eljegyzésük, és 1930-ban esküdtek. Az apám nem nagyon mesélt a család múltjáról. Illetve egy-egy drámai esemény forgott közszájon a családban, mint például apám két húgának ez a fatális halála. Híres volt anyám meg apám megismerkedésének a története, abban a bizonyos Visegrádi utcai Diana moziban. Hogy anya olyan feltűnően szép volt. Én 1931-ben születtem. Én Hirschberger Zsuzsinak születtem, de a nevem Holló Zsuzsa lett. Mi ugyanis már 1945-ben magyarosítottuk a nevünket – mi is és apám Ottó bátyja is – Hollóra. A Holló nevet valószínűleg a családi folyamatosság miatt választották, mert már 1905-ben erre magyarosította a nevét dédapám, Hirschberger Ignác három fia (a nagyapám nem).

Apáéknak mindig volt társaságuk. Jártak hozzánk kártyázni, anyámék is eljártak. Rendszeresen jártak étterembe vacsorázni. Apámék igazi családi barátai között nagyon sok volt a zsidó. De volt nem zsidó is. Én azt gondolom, hogy tudatosan biztos, hogy nem volt szempont [zsidó barátok választása]. Mert a mi családunk, de a nagyanyáméké is, nagyon szabadelvű család volt. De valószínűsíthető, hogy egyfajta azonos ízlésvilág meg hagyományvilág miatt több volt a zsidó barátjuk. Anyám egyik legjobb barátnője, Ledő Marika keresztény volt.

Kisgyerekkoromban – emlékszem, hogy mivel apáéknak volt egy csomó bécsi meg akkori csehszlovákiai [lásd: Első Csehszlovák Köztársaság] rokona, én az 1950-es években, amikor nem lehetett elutazni sehová [lásd: utazás külföldre 1945 után] – mindig úgy emlékeztem vissza gyerekkoromból ezekre a párbeszédekre, mint a paradicsomra. Hogy apám azt monda anyámnak: „Te, Mancika! Olyan gyönyörű idő van idén pünkösdkor, menjünk már ki pünkösdre Bécsbe!”  Anyám egy darabig kérette magát, aztán: „Na jól van, Walterkám! Hát menjünk ki.” Én meg elmentem a nagymamáékhoz két napra, vagy elvittek magukkal. És anyámék fölültek a vonatra, és egy hétvégére kimentek Bécsbe. Elmentek péntek este vagy péntek délben, és hazajöttek vasárnap este.

Gyerekkoromban az anyagi helyzetünk eléggé változó volt. Általában az akkor szokásos kispolgári módon éltünk, de hol jobban, hol rosszabbul ment apámnak. Azokban az években nem volt mindegy, hogy hol lakik valaki. Attól függően, hogy a Belvárosban, a Rózsadombon, itt vagy ott, ekkora vagy akkora lakása volt, a házbér egy nagyon jelentős tétele volt egy család költségvetésének. A Csáky utcában [lásd: Újlipótváros] egy nagyon szép lakásunk volt, az egy nagy lakás volt, azt föl kellett adni, és el kellett menni egy más környékre, egy kisebb lakásba. Így keveredtünk aztán a Tüzér utcába [A Tüzér utca Angyalföldön van, de inkább „belső Angyalföldön”, nem Angyalföld ipari övezetében. – A szerk.]. Ez a lakás a Tüzér utca 4-ben egy kis kétszobás lakás volt. Anyám édesanyja meg a testvérei ott laktak két lépésre, a Bulcsú utcában. Gyakorlatilag minden héten vasárnap fölmentünk délelőtt a nagymamához tisztelgő látogatást tenni virággal vagy parféval. Egyik hét vasárnapján az anyai nagyanyámhoz, másik hét vasárnapján pedig az apai nagymamámhoz mentünk.

Apám nem tudott textilmérnök lenni az ismert események [Azaz az apja korai halála. – A szerk.] miatt, és akkor magántisztviselő lett a Sonnenfeld és Társa vagy talán Sonnenfeld és Fiai nevű szerszámgép-kereskedelemmel foglalkozó cégnél. Ezeknél volt vezető tisztviselő.  És nagyon jól beletanult a gépipari szakmába. Ekkor nem keresett rosszul. Anyuék egy nagyon jó kispolgári életet éltek. Nyáron anyuval mi elmentünk nyaralni – nem külföldre, de akkor külföldre nagyon kevesen jártak nyaralni, és tulajdonképpen egész nyáron anyu meg én hol Budakeszin, hol Nagymaroson voltunk. Nagymaroson például az állomásfőnök házában béreltünk egy részt. Mert ugye az egészséges életmód kellett a gyereknek! Apám pedig minden hétvégén kijött utánunk. Sőt, kijártak hozzánk a hétvégeken barátok, családtagok is. 

Apám mindig is járatott újságot. Arra emlékszem, hogy apámnak a reggeli első dolga az volt, hogy kiment az újságjáért. Mert volt olyan újság, ami járt hozzánk, és akkor azt még betették a bejárati ajtó kilincsébe. Az apu „Az Est” lapot járatta és egy sportújságot, de vásárolta még  a „Színházi Élet”-et is, meg  valamilyen irodalmi folyóiratot is [„Az Est” – 1910–1939 között megjelenő politikai napilap, délutáni lap, kiadója Miklós Andor, 1919-től az Est-lapok egyike; „Színházi Élet” – 1912 és 1938 között megjelent népszerű képes hetilap volt sok színes tudósítással a korabeli színházi és filmvilág életéről. Incze Sándor alapította és szerkesztette Harsányi Zsolttal közösen. – A szerk.].

Anyai nagymamám betartotta a zsidó vallási ünnepeket, a lányai is, anyám is. Emlékszem a gyerekkorombeli péntek esti gyertyagyújtásra, ami szép, hangulatos volt. Anyámnak fehér csipkekendője volt, azt terítette a fejére, a nagymamának meg fekete csipkekendője volt. Anyám sokáig gyújtott péntek esténként gyertyát, és a csipkekendővel a fején, gyönyörű kézmozdulatokkal a gyertya felett imádkozott [lásd: gyertyagyújtás].

A Bulcsú utcai házban volt egy pékség, ami – azt hiszem – egy Friedmann nevű bácsié volt. Ennél a péknél sült minden pénteken a sólet. Ide vitték le a sóletet sütni a nagyanyámék is meg anyám is. A sóletet nem otthon sütötték, mert akkoriban nem volt olyan nagyon sok házban gáztűzhely. A legtöbb helyen, például nagyanyáméknál is, eredetileg egy úgynevezett sparhelt volt, amiben szénnel meg fával tüzeltek. Csak később vezették be a gázt. A sóletet, mint köztudott, este teszik be a kemencébe, és reggel veszik ki. Annak egy éjszaka kell. Tehát a pékeknél az egy nagyon komoly foglalatosság volt. Volt egy óriási piros fazekunk, abban benne volt a sólet, és le volt spárgával kötözve a fedele. És akkor a pékhez le kellett vinni, az ráragasztott egy számot, ugyanazt a számot megkapta, aki levitte, és másnap, szombat reggel lehetett menni érte. De előre kifizették, hogy ne kelljen szombaton pénzhez nyúlni [lásd: szombati munkavégzés tilalma], és akkor csak átadták a fazekat. Voltak nagy balhék, mert a pékek zöménél a péklegények a sóletben lévő nagyon finom húsokat lopták. És akkor a nagyságák visszamentek a pékhez, hogy hol van a hús. Hol a töltött libanyak? Mert az is volt benne.

Apám sose volt vallásos. Annak ellenére, hogy – gondolom, hogy inkább hagyományokból – bizonyos zsidó ünnepeket, hogy Hanuka meg hosszúnap [Jom Kipur] meg ilyesmi megtartottak. Nagy veszekedés volt egyszer az anyu meg az apu között, mert kiderült, hogy amikor böjtölni kellett volna, apám elment, és titokban valamelyik étteremben jól beebédelt [Az interjúalany föltehetően a Jom Kipur-i böjtre gondol. – A szerk.]. És ez valahogy kiderült, és anyám rettenetesen haragudott rá.

Nálunk borzasztó nagy érték volt a tanulás. Az volt a lényeg, hogy tanuljak. Nagyon szerettem is egyébként tanulni. Főleg nyelveket szerettem nagyon tanulni meg történelmet, irodalmat. Anyám azt mondta nekem, hogy én ne foglalkozzam a konyhával, nem is tanított meg főzni. Nekem csak tanulni kellett.

Elemibe a Sziget utcai elemi iskolába jártam. Itt végeztem a szokásos négy elemit. Elég eszes, szorgalmas és kötelességtudó voltam, így azután minden osztályt tiszta kitűnőre végeztem –anyám eltette a bizonyítványaimat, ma is megvannak –, habár szerintem énekből, tornából, kézimunkából csak azért kaptam jó jegyeket, hogy a bizonyítványt le ne rontsák, ugyanis hangom nem volt, ügyetlenül tornáztam, kézügyességem pedig semmi. Érdekes, hogy rossz tornász létemre, jó ritmusérzékem volt, anyuék járattak is balettra, a Trojanoff-féle balett-iskolába [Trojanov balettiskola – jó nevű intézmény volt az 1930-as években, számos híres táncos kezdte itt tanulmányait. – A szerk.], majd később, úgy tizenkét éves korom körül a Feleky Kamill-féle tánciskolába, szteppre. Feleky felesége, Fini néni volt a tanárunk.

[A Sziget utcai elemi iskolában] A lányok bejárata a Sziget utcából volt, mert ez nem volt koedukált iskola [lásd: koedukáció]. Úgy köszöntünk, mikor bejött a tanár, vagy amikor hazamentünk, hogy „Szebb jövőt!”, és a válasz az volt, hogy „Adjon Isten!”. Tehát ez már a legirredentább korszakban volt. Tanultunk irredenta dalokat is, de a dalok zömére már nem emlékszem. Persze volt a „Szép vagy, gyönyörű vagy, Magyarország”, úgy tudom, hogy éppenséggel egy zsidó írta ezt az egész gyönyörű dalt [A dal – „Szép vagy, gyönyörű vagy, Magyarország, szebb talán [máshol: gyönyörűbb], mint a nagyvilág. / Ha zeng a zeneszó, látom ragyogó szép orcád./ Táltos paripákon tovaszállunk, hazahív fű, fa, lomb s virág./ Úgy hív a hegedű, vár egy gyönyörű szép ország.” – Vincze Zsigmond (1874–1935) zeneszerző és karmester 1922-ben készült, „Hamburgi menyasszony” című operettjéből való. – A szerk.]. Valahányszor iskolai ünnepély volt, aki szavalt, annak mindig stilizált magyar ruhában kellett megjelennie, gyönyörű búzakalászos, pipacsos, búzavirágos pártában. Hát ez gyönyörű volt. Mi kell egy gyereknek ennél szebb? Úgyhogy attól el voltam ragadtatva.

Az ajtónkra ki kellett tűznünk – lehetett kapni különböző minőségben, különböző árban – Nagy-Magyarországot, ilyen vékony, mondjuk, alumínium- vagy rézlemezből. És volt egy kerete, nemzetiszínű keret. Ezt az ajtóra tűzni, és a Nagy-Magyarország alatt az volt, hogy „Nem, nem soha!”. Volt egy díszterme az iskolának, és előtte ott volt a magyar zászló, és ott őrséget kellett állni a tanulóknak egy ideig, de nem egész nap. És nagyon nagy szó volt, amikor megengedték, hogy egy fiú és egy lány álljon. Mert annyira nem volt koedukált akkor egy átlag magyarországi elemi iskola, hogy eleinte vagy két fiú állhatott őrséget, vagy két lány.

Amikor gimnáziumba kerültem, sajnos már az állami gimnáziumokban zsidópadok voltak, az utolsó vagy az utolsó előtti sorba ültették be a zsidó gyerekeket, és anyám azt mondta, hogy szó nem lehet arról, hogy így megszégyenítsenek. És messze az anyagi lehetőségeinken felül, beírattak a Lázár Piroska nevű zsidó leánygimnáziumba [lásd: Lázár Piroska-féle budapesti nyilvános jogú leánynevelő intézet]. Itt aztán minden áldott nap volt hittanóra. Újhébert tanultunk, zsidó történelmet, bibliafordítást.

A hittantanárunk az első órán bejött, és elmondta, hogy mi mindent kell megvennünk, többek közt a Bibliát. Mégpedig nem magyarul, hanem héberül. Merthogy meg fogjuk ugye tanulni a héber betűket. A következő hétfőn megkérdezte a hittantanárunk, hogy kinek nincsen Bibliája. Föltettem a kezemet, még egy-két lány föltette, és nagyon szigorúan azt kérdezte, hogy miért nincsen, miért nem jártál utána. Azt mondtam neki: „Tanár úr, kérem, dehogynem, anyukámmal egész szombaton kerestük.” És erre azt mondta nekem: „Szombaton? Na, ülj le, szégyelld magad!” Ezt soha életemben nem fogom elfelejteni, mert én úgy elképedtem, hogy mi rosszat mondtam. Úgyhogy ennyit a család vallásosságáról.

Miután engem kényszerűségből beírattak ebbe a rendkívül drága és kiváló gimnáziumba, ott aztán ezeket meg kellett tanulnom. De „sikerrel” elfelejtettem, őszintén meg kell mondanom.  Még ma is létezik néhány héber betű, amit fölismerek, de nem tudnék egy szöveget elolvasni.

Amikor apámat behívták munkaszolgálatra, ez 1942-ben lehetett, kaptunk tőle egy levelezőlapot, abban megírta, hogy Baracspusztára vitték el, ott gyakorlatoztatják őt, és hogy meg lehet látogatni [Baracspuszta – a két világháború között Tatárszentgyörgy község (Pest-Pilis-Solt-Kiskun vm.) közigazgatási része volt. – A szerk.]. Ide anyámmal kijártunk minden héten egyszer, és megmondták, hogy mit lehet vinni egy kis papundekli dobozban, például tiszta zoknit, élelmezési cikkeket, amit ott ellenőriztek, hogy az van-e benne. Vittünk pénzt is, mert a pénzért tudtak venni a kerettől, a honvédségi altisztektől cigarettát vagy kenyeret pluszban. Vonattal mentünk és busszal, mert ez egy olyan hely volt, aminek nem is volt vasútállomása, a vasútállomástól valami helyi busz ment ki oda, ahol tartották a munkaszolgálatosokat. És akkor egy órát a családtagok együtt lehettek.

Baracspusztán tűrhető volt a soruk a dolgok fizikai részét illetően. Hát nem az emberi méltóság részét illetően! Nem verték őket itt agyon, meg nem bántalmazták őket tudomásom szerint. Tudtunk volna arról, hogyha agyba-főbe verik őket, de nem verték, biztos vagyok benne, és nagyon lefogyva ugyan, és nagyon rossz állapotban, de megvoltak ezek a férfiak ott. Valamit ásattak velük, de nem tudom már, mit. Aztán ez a század kikerült Borba [lásd: bori rézbányák].

Egy szép napon fölrohant hozzánk a nagynéném, apám Gréte nővére, azzal, hogy ő biztos hírt kapott arról, hogy az apuékat viszik valahova, vagy Ukrajnába, vagy Borba. Borról mi akkor nem tudtunk, fogalmunk se volt, a szót se ismertük, és hogy azonnal menjünk, soron kívül, mert talán még meg lehet őket látogatni. És úgy, ahogy voltunk, kaptuk magunkat, anyám bedobált a mindig készenlétben álló kartondobozba élelmiszert, és rohantunk. Tényleg igaz volt a hír, apámékat másnap vagy harmadnap vitték el, és tényleg megengedték, hogy még egy búcsúlátogatás legyen. Úgyhogy ennek nagyon örültünk.

Hazajöttünk, és ahogy leszálltunk a villamosról, azt mondja anyám: „Tudod mit, Zsuzsika? Ne menjünk most haza, szaladjunk föl a nagymamáékhoz,  először mondjuk el, hogy mi volt, mert várják is a híreket.” Fölmentünk nagyanyámékhoz, és ahogy ott vagyunk, egyszerre csak nézem, hogy nagyanyáméknál a zongora tetején áll egy madárkalitka, és benne egy kis kanári. Mondom, hogy „Jé! Nagymama! Hát ti is vettetek kanárimadarat?”. Mert nekünk volt egy. A kanárimadár kint lakott az ablakpárkányon, csak estére vettük be. Egyszerre csak borzasztó kellemetlen csönd lett, nagyon zavart csönd. Kiderült a következő: amikor jött a nagynéném, hogy azonnal menjünk, mert viszik az apámék munkaszolgálatos századát, és lehet, hogy többé nem látjuk őket, az anyám éppen vasalt, és a vasalót bedugva felejtette, úgy mentünk el. A vasalódeszka fából volt, úgyhogy tüzet fogott, és a lakásunk leégett. A konyha körülbelül megmaradt, meg néhány könyv a könyvszekrényből. Sokáig őriztem is ezeket ilyen félig égett állapotban. A füstön kívül, ami tódult ki, ez az ablakpárkányra kirakott kanárimadár olyan eszeveszett lármát csapott, hogy erre figyeltek föl a szomszédok, és kihívták a tűzoltókat. Ez egy rettenetes csapás volt. Bár egy fantasztikus dolog volt: a fürdőszobában, mint akkor majdnem mindenhol, egy henger alakú kályha volt. Ennek a kályhának fölül volt egy fura koronaszerű képződménye, és az anyám a spórolt pénzünket meg az ékszereit egy vasdobozszerűségben ott tartotta fönt, és így a pénzünk megmaradt. De ezzel együtt ki kellett a lakást festetni, rendbe hozatni, és akkor a nagynénémék adtak elég sok pénzt nekünk, hogy valami bútort tudjunk venni magunknak. Ez 1942-ben vagy 1943-ban történt [Biztosan 1943-ban, hiszen 1943. júliusában született meg a megállapodás a magyar kormány és a Todt-szervezet között munkaszolgálatosok Borba vezényléséről (bár már június közepén megérkezett a munkaszolgálatosok első csoportja Borba). – A szerk.].

Anyám húgának, Lenkének és a férjének egy nagy és jól menő hentesüzlete volt a Lehel téri piacon. Annak egy részében árultak borjúhúst, egy részében lóhúst, mert ugye különböző pénztárcájú embereknek árultak. Először megvonták tőlük a lóhúsengedélyt, azt nem vásárolhattak be a Nagyvásárcsarnokban, nem árusíthattak. Aztán borjúhúst sem árusíthattak, aztán marhahúst sem árusíthattak. Tehát, magyarul, a megélhetésük egyre szűkült. De ez még mindig jó volt ahhoz képest, ami jött a nyilasok [lásd: nyilas hatalomátvétel] után. Valamennyire még megmaradtak olyan alapvető életfeltételek, amelyek között még lehetett mozogni.

1944. március 19., amikor a németek bejöttek, vasárnapra esett. Mi vasárnap iskolába jártunk, mert ebben a gimnáziumban szombaton volt a tanítási szünet [lásd: szombati munkavégzés tilalma], és vasárnap volt a szombat. Tehát ott voltunk vasárnap.  Ez úgy maradt meg az emlékezetemben, hogy egyszerre csak bejött az osztályfőnöknőnk az osztályba, suttogott egy kicsit a tanárunkkal, majd azt mondta: „Kislányok! Megszakítjuk a tanítást, most hazamentek. Öltözzetek föl szépen, menjetek haza a legrövidebb útvonalon, sehol meg ne álljatok bámészkodni! És addig nem jöttök iskolába, amíg a szülőkkel mi nem beszéltünk.” Hát nagyon örültünk. Vasárnap délelőtt volt, gyönyörű, napsütéses idő, és nagyon törtük a fejünket, hogy azért elmehetnénk egy kicsit valahová. De fura módon, volt valami furcsa érzés bennünk, így azután abban maradtunk, hogy akkor mindenki szalad haza. És amire hazamentünk, addigra anyám már halálra váltan fogadott, mert addigra a rádió már bemondta, hogy a németek „bevonultak a megsegítésünkre”.

Ha röviden akarnám jellemezni, akkor azt mondanám, hogy elkezdődött egy mérhetetlen szorongás és félelem. Gyakorlatilag akkor, 1944-ben a mi szűkebb családunknak a férfi tagjai már rég nem voltak otthon, hiszen mind bevonultak munkaszolgálatra még 1941-42-ben, és fogalmunk sem volt, hogy hol vannak, mi van velük. A mi családunkban az egyetlen férfi az édesapámnak a bátyja volt, akinek a fogyatékossága miatt nem kellett munkaszolgálatra mennie. A korábbi lakástüzünk után is volt még valamennyi megtakarított pénze anyámnak, abból éltünk nagyon spórolósan.

Két dologra emlékszem még erősen 1944 tavaszáról. Az egyik elképesztő volt, mert szegény anyámat vágta nagyon a földhöz. Volt neki egy nagyon jó barátnője, a Ledő Mari. Körülbelül egyidős lehetett anyámmal. Ez a hölgy a Budapesti Harisnyagyárban [1924-es alapításától 1949-ben bekövetkezett államosításáig Guttmann és Fekete Budapest Harisnya- és Kötöttárugyár (GFB) volt. – A szerk.] dolgozott, ahol is, amikor bejött a sárga csillag, a gyár elkezdte gyártani százezerszámra a sárga csillagokat.  Egy szép napon megjelent nálunk anyu barátnője, és – mintha egy csokor virágot hozott volna – hozott egy doboz sárga csillagot anyámnak, s azt mondta: „Mancikám! Nézd meg, hogy milyen szép színük van, és milyen jó formára sikerültek. Hoztam nektek, hogy legalább erre ne kelljen pénzt kiadni.” És az anyám ott állt egyszerűen kővé dermedve. Nem tudott megszólalni, csak elkezdtek folyni a könnyei, és ez a szegény barátnője, aki valószínűsíthetően egy elég buta nő lehetett, mert merő jóindulatból tette, nem gonoszságból, azt mondta, hogy „Jaj Mancikám! Ne haragudj, nem akartalak megbántani, de gondoltam, hogy milyen praktikus, és nem kell kiadnotok rá egy fillért se”. Anyu annyira jóindulatú volt, és olyan volt köztük a barátság, hogy ez nem vetett véget neki. 1945 után, amikor kiderült, hogy a nagy szerelme, Szalai Imre, az a zsidó ügyvéd, aki az apuék társaságához tartozott, elpusztult munkaszolgálatosként Ukrajnában, férjhez ment, és szinte anyám élete végéig tartották a baráti kapcsolatot. Hát ilyen furcsa az élet.

A másik nem feledhető történet. Az iskolát egy rövid ideig megpróbálták folytatni, mert arra emlékszem, hogy már bejött bőven a sárga csillag hordási rendelet [1944. március 31-én jelent meg a rendelet. – A szerk.], és én még egy nagyon kis ideig – valószínűleg csak hetekig – mentem villamossal az iskolába úgy, hogy rajtam volt a sárga csillag. Egyszer, amikor mentem az iskolába a villamossal, a kabátomon persze sárga csillaggal, felszálltam az elülső peronon. Amikor beljebb mentem a kocsiba, rám szóltak, hogy szálljak le szépen, és szálljak fel újból, de most már a hátsó peronra, mert sárga csillaggal csak ott szabad felszállni. Hát így is kellett tennem. Ez egy tizenhárom éves kamaszlánynak fájdalmas, oktalan megszégyenítés volt.

Talán még két-három hétig próbálták azt a látszatot tartani, hogy van iskola, és van normális élet, de aztán nem lehetett. Nyilván a szülők sem akarták ilyen körülmények között a gyerekeket elengedni. Nekünk tulajdonképpen kiosztották a bizonyítványt valamikor 1944 áprilisában.

Azután elkezdődtek a légiriadók [lásd: Budapest bombázása]. Rettentő sokat mentünk a légópincébe. Volt mindenkinek egy kis bőröndje, és abban volt összekészítve egy váltás fehérnemű, keksz, valami gyógyszer, zseblámpa, ilyesmi, amivel lebotorkáltunk.

Volt egy beszolgáltatási kötelezettség. Be kellett szolgáltatni biciklit, órát, rádiót, minden ilyesmit [Zsidók tulajdonában 1944 áprilisától nem lehettek rádiókészülékek. Ezt megelőzte a telefonok kötelező beszolgáltatása. – A szerk.]. De mi egy elég primitív, néprádiószerű valamit nagy titokban megtartottunk [Az 1939/40-ben elindult ún. néprádió-akció során fejlesztett ki négy nagy európai elektronikai cég, a Telefunken, a Standard, a Philips és a magyar Orion Villamossági Rt. egy olcsó rádiókészülék-típust, a néprádiót. – A szerk.]. Esténként elővettük a rekamiéfiókból, ahol tartottuk pléddel letakarva, és rátapasztottuk a fülünket, a BBC-nek az adását időnként valamennyire lehetett fogni [A BBC 1939-ben indított magyar nyelvű adást. – A szerk.], hallgattuk a híreket, de azt nagyon nehéz volt összevetni azzal, amit itthon lehetett hallani, meg amit itthon írtak az újságok. Amikor hozták a magyar újságok, hogy valahol az orosz fronton a dicsőséges német hadsereg a rugalmas elszakadás győztes csatáját vívta meg, akkor tudtuk, hogy ripityára lettek verve. Képzelheti az örömünket! Ez volt a „rugalmas elszakadás”. Így hozták az újságok.

Néhány házzal odébb laktak a nagyanyámék, és nagy szerencsénk volt, mert az ő házukat jelölték ki csillagos háznak 1944 nyarán. És annak, aki nem volt zsidó, fölajánlották, hogy bárhová mehet, sőt még kaptak segítséget is, és elmehettek olyan lakásba, amit a zsidóknak el kellett hagyniuk. De érdekes módon, abban a házban nagyon sokan maradtak nem zsidók.   Anyám meg én odaköltöztünk az egyik szobába, és aki létezett a családból, az odajött, hogy ne idegenekhez menjenek. Így abban a lakásban lakott a nagymamám, mind a három lánya  (a férjek nem, mert azok elmentek munkaszolgálatra), azoknak az összes gyereke, plusz a nagybátyám, az Aladár felesége, az anyósa és a kicsi gyerekük, akit a saját szülőapja sosem látott, mert akkor született, amikor ő már rég munkaszolgálatos volt. Meg mi ketten anyuval. Tizenketten laktunk a háromszobás lakásban, mert összesen egy idegen hölgyet tettek még be hozzánk.

Anyám és a húga, a Piroska megmaradtak, bár 1944-ben, a csillagos házban kaptak egy behívót, kellett menni az óbudai téglagyárba, és el is mentek. Vettek kabátot, bakancsot, valami élelmet. Anyu elég élhetetlen volt. Ő nagyon félt mindenféle akciótól, de a húga nagyon életrevaló teremtés volt. Utóbb elmondták, a téglagyárban olyan zűrzavar volt, olyan eszméletlen mennyiségű nőt meg öreget hívtak be, hogy nem tudták őket bevagonírozni, mert olyan kapkodás volt. Az anyám húga azt mondta: „Te, innét mi lelépünk.” Anyám nem mert, de a húga csak erősködött, és hazaszöktek. Hazajöttek a csillagos házba. Mi aztán rettenetesen izgultunk, hogy melyik szomszéd mikor jelenti fel őket. De nem jelentették fel. Ők így kimaradtak abból a vagonírozásból, ami egyébként ment Auschwitzba. Úgyhogy így az anyuék megmaradtak.

Mi nem tudtunk semmit Auschwitzról, csak hallottunk, nem akartuk elhinni persze. A vidéki zsidókat, azt szemtanúktól tudtuk, hogy bevagonírozták. Úgy jött ez a hír, hogy „Képzeljétek el, mintha állatok lettek volna, úgy rakták be őket a marhavagonokba!”. De nem tudtuk ezt elképzelni, mert azt mondtuk, hogy hogyan, hol, akkor hogy tudtak mosakodni, hol volt a vécé. Ilyeneket kérdezgettünk egymástól, meg hogy „Á, ez nem létezik, valami túlzásnak kell ebben lenni. Ez nem lehet igaz. És hova viszik őket? Hát hogyha dolgozni viszik, akkor mire odaérnek, már nem is fognak tudni dolgozni”.

Mi úgy éltünk itt 1944-ben, hogy csak azt tudtuk, nekünk annyit kell tenni, hogy próbáljuk meg túlélni, amíg a németeket a szövetségesek leverik. És ha a németek le lesznek verve, utána minden rendben lesz, akkor megint élhetünk normálisan, minden helyrejön, a fiúk hazajönnek. És azt kell mondanom, hogy akik itt maradtak, azoknak talán ez az általános mentalitás volt a szerencséje, hogy a helyzetünk elképesztően reménytelen voltát és tragédiáját nem is fogtuk fel. Auschwitzra meg az egész szörnyűségre mi akkor jöttünk rá, amikor 1945-ben elkezdtek onnét visszajönni, meg ez a dolog elkezdett kitudódni. Nálunk ezt a témát olyan mértékben próbálta meg a rendszer besöpörni a szőnyeg alá, hogy valójában alig-alig lehetett erről hallani meg beszélni.

Egy nagyon éles fordulat volt [1944] október 15-e az életünkben [lásd: nyilas hatalomátvétel]. Ez a Horthy-proklamációval kezdődött. Jellemző, hogy az utcán ujjongtak az emberek. Volt, aki leszedte a sárga csillagot, és ölelgették egymást. Holott a proklamáció meg a Szálasi-hatalomátvétel között néhány óra telt csak el. De amikor megtörtént a hatalomátvétel, akkor azt mondtuk, hogy ezt nem fogjuk túlélni. Hallottuk, hogy miket mond a Szálasi a rádióban. Nemcsak a szöveget, hanem a hangsúlyt! Megjelentek a plakátok. Ez a teljes nyíltság. Fura módon az egész Horthy-rendszer alatt, annak ellenére, hogy akkor is voltak plakátok, amik előírták a zsidóknak, hol lakhatnak, mit csinálhatnak, azért annak valamelyest civilizáltabb volt a hangneme.

És akkor talán két hét múlva jöttek nagy stráfkocsikkal, és vittek bennünket a gettóba [1944. november vége felé kezdődött meg a zsidók átköltöztetése a gettóba. Lásd: budapesti gettó. – A szerk.]. Már a betelepítésünk se volt akármilyen, mert a Klauzál téren állt meg minden ilyen lovas kocsi, volt német teherautó is, de gondolom, a nyilasok is spóroltak a benzinnel, tehát inkább lovas kocsival hozták be a zsidókat, mintsem teherautón. A Klauzál térnek, nem tudom, hogy mind a négy sarkán-e, de kettőn biztos, mert arra emlékszem, föl volt állítva egy óriási, fából készült láda. Leszállították a zsidókat, és közölték, hogyha valakinek van bármilyen ékszere, órája, bármilyen értéke, dobja be. Ami még valakinél maradt, mondjuk, jegygyűrű vagy ilyen, dobálta is szépen be.

Én nagyon sokat adtam a tisztaságra, és bár anyám mondta, hogy ezt nem volna szabad csinálnom, ebből baj lesz, de én egy pipereszappant bedugtam a tréningnadrágom aljába. És motoztak. Tizennégy-tizenhat év körüli nyilas srácok motoztak, meg is találták nálam ezt a szappant, kivették, valami szörnyűt mondtak, valami zsidó rüfkét, és kaptam egy pofont érte. És elvették a szappant. Húsz-harminc év múlva, amikor nagyon jó körülmények között, jól öltözve, a saját gépkocsimat vezettem, ahányszor ott elmentem, mindig odanéztem arra a sarokra, ahol ez történt.

Az úgynevezett védett házak kivételével az összes pesti zsidót bezsúfolták a gettóba. Az azért elég sok volt erre a kis helyre. Borzalmas körülmények voltak ott, emberileg is. Nem azt mondom, hogy olyan szorosan voltunk, mint a marhavagonokban, de rettenetes sokan voltunk bezsúfolva. És az egyik legszörnyűbb dolog az volt, hogy amikor hozták stráfkocsikkal a zsidókat, volt olyan stráfkocsi, amiben csak gyerekeket hoztak felnőtt nélkül – az tényleg infernális látvány volt. Arra ma is úgy emlékszem vissza, hogy egész egyszerűen holttá váltunk a sok zsidó gyerek láttán, akivel nem voltak se szülők, se felnőttek [lásd: vöröskeresztes gyerekek a gettóban].

A gettóban be lettünk zsúfolva a Kisdiófa utca 3-ba, az első emeletre. Itt akkor is zsidók éltek, de hogy hova tették onnét az előző lakókat, a mai napig se tudom. Amikor mi oda beérkeztünk, az már egy üres lakás volt a maradék bútorok romjaival meg ruhák maradékával. Valamennyien együtt voltunk, tehát a nagyanyám, anyám, a két húga, az összes gyerek meg én.

Amíg építették a gettó körül a palánkot, ami körbevette, addig a gettóból kimenni nem lehetett a zsidóknak, de a gettóba minden nap néhány órát be lehetett menni. Ahol mi laktunk, a csillagos házban volt egy nagyon helyes keresztény asszony, akinek volt egy tizenöt éves fia, aki, hogy úgy mondjam, nagy vonzalommal viseltetett irántam. És ez a srác a mi elhagyott lakásunkból, annak a spájzából, amit ott a nagymama begyűjtött ennivalót, ami elfért a két kezében, zacskókban, cipelte napokon keresztül nekünk, amíg be lehetett jönni a gettóba. Hozott be lencsét, feles sárgaborsót, hagymát, krumplit, mindent, amit ott mi 1944 nyarán begyűjtöttünk a nagymama levezénylése mellett, aki nagyon szigorú volt, mert nagyon beosztással kellett élni. Ez nagyon komoly segítség volt, mert gyakorlatilag azt jelentette, hogy mi ugyan borzalmasan éheztünk, de azért nem haltunk éhen, szemben nagyon sok időssel, aki éhen halt.

Nagyon sokáig nem tudtunk ebben a lakásban lenni, mert amikor elkezdődött Budapest ostroma és a hozzátartozó bombázás, akkor az egyik bombázás során a mellettünk lévő ház, a Kisdiófa utca 5. kapott egy telitalálatot [A szovjet csapatok 1944. december 26-ára kerítették be a fővárost, Pest ostroma 1945. január 18-án, Budáé február 13-án ért véget. – A szerk.]. Ennek következtében a Kisdiófa utca 3. egyik lépcsőháza leszakadt. Akkor aztán ott mindenki úgy megrémült, hogy az egész ház leköltözött a pincébe. Egyébként az egész gettó a pincében élt. Mert nem is lehetett másképp. A pincében lent voltunk, vittük magunkkal, amit tudtunk az emeletről; és bár a másik lépcsőház ép maradt, de senki nem mert már felmenni az emeleti lakásokba, az állandósult bombázások, ágyúzás, belövések miatt.

Szegény anyám nagy bánatára volt a gettóban egy helyes kis barátnőm, egy Silzer Zsuzsi nevű lány, vele elmentünk és jelentkeztünk a Síp utca 12-ben, a hitközségnél futárnak. Kaptunk egy kis kézikocsiszerűt, és a kézikocsival minden nap elmentünk délben a hitközségre, ahol főztek levest. A levest kiosztották a futároknak, akik elvitték abba a házba, ahol laktak, vagy amit elvállaltak. Ezért fizetség nem járt, de mi egy kicsit több levest kaptunk. A gettón belül is a zsidóknak meg volt szabva, hogy mettől meddig lehetnek kint az utcán, délben volt egy óra, mondjuk, és délután egy óra vagy reggel, már nem tudom pontosan [A gettók zömét csak a nap bizonyos órájában lehetett elhagyni, a gettók területén azonban általában a nappali időszakban szabadon járhattak a zsidók. – A szerk.]. Amikor mi járkáltunk ki Silzer Zsuzsival, voltak szörnyű kalandjaink, aminek kapcsán aztán otthon is maradtunk. Mert amikor mentünk a meghatározott időben, a gettó belül tele volt nyilasokkal, és nem lehetett a szemükbe nézni. Ha valaki nagyon nyugodtan szembenézett velük, azt biztos, hogy valamiért megállították, és nagyon jól járt, ha csak egy pofont kapott vagy valami kisebb verést. Úgyhogy ez nem volt egy veszélytelen dolog. Szegény anyám annyit jajgatott, hogy „de mért kell ezt neked csinálni!? Mért teszel engem tönkre!? Zsuzsika, ezt ne csináld! Ne menj!” – habár a nagyanyám pártolta, mert ő meg azt mondta, hogy ez nagyon helyes, mert ezzel segít rajtunk meg magán. De a végén fölhagytunk ezzel.

Nem volt víz, nem volt villany, nem volt gáz. Rettentő kemény tél volt. Egyike volt a legkeményebb teleknek, amikre emlékszem az életemben – nagy szerencsénkre, mert ezért nem volt Pesten járvány. Mert Pesten hetekig hevertek ezrével temetetlenül a lovak meg az emberek, és semmi járvány nem volt, mert pokoli hideg volt. Nos, ebben a pokoli hidegben a gettó területén valamilyen csoda folytán volt egy-két nyilvános vízcsap, ami valószínűleg korábban a tűzoltáshoz szolgálhatott, és ide jártunk vizet venni. A gettóbeli háznak a pincéjében találtam rengeteg befőttesüveget. Vittem magammal befőttesüvegeket, és megtöltöttem vízzel, ami aztán már két óra múlva megfagyott. Nekem ez volt a tartalékom. Mert amíg a többiek azzal foglalatoskodtak, hogy hogyan tegyék ihatóvá, engem csak az érdekelt, hogy hogyan tegyem mosakodhatóvá.

Egy szép napon a gettóban egyszerre csak előkerült a Gréti nagynénémnek a férje, Bárdos Ernő, aki zsidó létére több magas kitüntetést viselő Horthy-hadseregbeli tiszt volt, azt hiszem, hogy alezredes volt vagy százados. Természetesen, ahogy a németek bejöttek, vagy már talán előbb, a hadseregből távoznia kellett. De sokáig valamiféle védettsége volt, így nem is került munkaszolgálatra [A zsidó származású hivatásos katonákkal kapcsolatos rendelkezéseket lásd: munkaszolgálat (musz).]. Kiderült, hogy ő is a gettóban van, méghozzá nálunk jobb körülmények között lakik a Kazinczy utca 11-ben, és elvisz minket. Mert ahol mi voltunk, az tipikus gettóház volt, a nyomorok nyomora, és az éhezés éhezése. Amikor jött a nagybátyám, és azt mondta, hogy „gyertek el, mert nálam van annyi ennivaló, hogy hárman is tudunk belőle enni, és nem a pincében vagyunk, hanem egy földszinti lakásban”, nagyon örültünk. Így egy kicsivel több ennivaló jutott a nagyanyáméknak, hogy mi, ketten anyuval már nem ettünk ott. Ha naponta egyszer ehettünk valamit, akkor az nagyon jó dolog volt.

Így hát átmentünk a Kazinczy utca 11-be, a földszinti lakásba, ami a viceházmesternek lehetett a lakása korábban, egy szoba-konyha. A nagybátyámon kívül volt ott még egy férfi meg egy nő, de kit zavart az? Matracon aludtunk. De a házban volt folyóvíz, ihattunk, mosakodhattam rendszeresen, ami elég fontos volt, mert mi nem is tetvesedtünk meg az ostrom alatt. Nagy könnyebbség volt, hogy vízért nem kellett elmenni. Mert azért ahányszor bárki elment utcai vizet venni, nem volt biztos, hogy vissza tud menni a pincébe, ahonnan jött, mert lehet, hogy útközben egy nyilas fejbe verte vagy lelőtte vagy bármi. A Kisdiófa utcában már a gyertyánk is elfogyott. Összegyűjtöttük a leolvadt viaszt, és abba a nagymama sodort valami kis rongydarabból belet, és avval világítottunk a pincében. Itt azonban volt gyertya is, volt feles sárgaborsó, minden nap lehetett kétszer enni belőle. Szóval nagyon nagy dolog volt. Ott is ért bennünket a felszabadulás. A mi családunk, akiket a gettóba vittek, életben maradt, csak apai nagymamám, az Anna nagymama halt meg a gettóban, valószínűleg a Wesselényi utcai kórházban [lásd: gettókórház], állítólag 1945 januárjában, de nincsen megbízható adatunk erről, és azt sem tudtuk meg bizonyosan, hogy hogyan került oda. Állítólag még 1944 nyarán megbetegedett, kórházba vitték, és onnét mint zsidót a gettósítás után átvitték a gettó kórházába.

1945. január 18-án bejöttek az orosz katonák a gettóba. Látták, hogy a zsidók legtöbbje a pincében volt. A szovjet katonák kézzel-lábbal elmagyarázták, hogy menjenek föl, mehetnek haza. Mi visszamentünk a Kisdiófa utca 3-ba, megnézni, hogy mi van a nagyanyámékkal. Hál’ isten, mindenki megvolt. És akkor elindultunk, de mi anyuval nem mertünk hazamenni a Tüzér utcába, hanem azt gondoltuk, hogy maradjunk együtt. Nagyanyámék lakásába mentünk, a Bulcsú utcába. Ez január 18. volt. Akkor Budán még bőven folytak a harcok, állandó belövés, ágyúzás, géppisztolyozás, tehát golyót kapni bárhol lehetett. Ahogy mentünk hazafelé, egyszerre csak egy géppisztolysorozat-szerűt hallottunk, nagyon megijedtünk, és beugrottunk a Dob utcában egy üzletbe. Az üzletnek föl volt tépve a redőnye, épp befértünk alá. Az egy olyan üzlethelyiség volt a gettón belül, ahova a meghalt vagy megölt embereket úgy fektették be, mint ahogyan a pincében a tűzifát szokták, hogy levegőzzön, az egyik sorra keresztben a másik sort. Így voltak fölhalmozva ott a hullák, persze csonttá fagyva, mert kint mínusz tíz-húsz fok volt heteken keresztül. Ebbe az üzletbe ugrottunk be. Úgyhogy akkor hiába lőttek, kirohantunk onnan, és kanyarogva mentünk a lövések miatt.

Eljutottunk a Nyugati térig, ami nagyon nyitott volt Buda felé. Volt ott egy nagy étterem, nem jut eszembe most a neve. Nagy fegyverropogás volt meg ágyúzás, és beugrottunk abba a kapualjszerűségbe. Ott találtunk egy csomó orosz kiskatonát hulla részegen. Ugyanis ezek lementek az étterem pincéjébe, és felhozták hordóban a bort meg a sört. Volt köztük két egész fiatal kis tatár, és a legnagyobb jóindulattal elkezdtek minket itatni. Mondták, hogy de finom, magyarázták, hogy igyunk csak. Meg is ittunk vagy egy pohárra való bort, még jól is esett ebben a rettenetes hidegben. Azután békésen továbbengedtek minket, és mi egyenesen visszamentünk a csillagos házba. A ház előtt nagy szabad tér volt, ahol két ágyú volt, amivel lőttek át Budára, amíg tartott az ostrom.

Nem tudtunk a szobákban lakni, mert az ablaküveg mind ki volt törve. A nagymamáméknál a gangról nyílt az előszoba, onnét a konyha, és amellett volt egy, a konyhával azonos nagyságú, eredetileg cselédszoba. Oda matracokat terítettünk le, és ott rendezkedtünk be. Az utcai ablakokat a nagymama perceken belül az otthon talált újságpapírral, lepedővel beszögelte. A konyhában a gáztűzhely mellett volt egy régi sparhelt, amiben ezzel-azzal lehetett tüzelni. Amikor már elfogyott minden ringy-rongy, amit el lehetett tüzelni, akkor a nagymama gyönyörű cseresznyefa ágyát fűrészeltük fel, és az lett elfűtve.

Mit ettünk? Hát nagyon jót ettünk, lóhúst. Január végén egyre katasztrofálisabb méreteket öltött az éhezés. És akkor a nagymama magához vett a valamikori spájzából két szép zománcozott vödröt, és azt mondta: „Most elmegyünk ennivalóért.” És elment velem. Azt mondta nekem útközben: „Idefigyelj! A szádat ki nem nyithatod, hogy mi az, amit mi viszünk haza!” A nagymama megvizsgálta az elhullott lovakat, hogy melyik volt beteg, melyik pusztult el lövéstől, mert az egészséges volt. Lefűrészeltünk a megfagyott lócombokból, és vittük haza. Otthon azt kellett mondani, hogy találtunk két parasztot, aki árulta ezt a húst, és attól vettük. Szerintem anyámék tudhatták, hogy mit vittünk haza, csak úgy tettek, mintha nem tudnák. Február végéig gyakorlatilag ebből éltünk, ezt ettük. Aztán egyre jobban kellett igyekeznünk, mert már mások is a lóhúst fűrészelték meg vitték haza.

Nagymama különben is nagyon stramm volt, mert amikor visszamentünk, láttuk, hogy nagyon sok mindent elvittek tőlünk a lakásból. Hiányzott neki ilyen terítő, olyan dunyha, mindenféle a lakásból. A háznak az ott maradt lakói az ostrom miatt leköltöztek a pincébe. Nagymama lement a pincébe, és azt mondta, hogy most jelentkezzen az, aki tőlünk vitt el ezt, ezt meg ezt! Mert én ezeket kérem vissza. És visszakapta. Az egyik hozott két kispárnát, a másik két dunyhát, a harmadik hat tányért, öt lábost.

Azt kell mondanom, hogy nekünk valószínűleg nagyon nagy szerencsénk volt, hogy olyan sok kisgyerek volt velünk. Mert ugye ott volt anyám húgának, Lenkének a két bűbájos ikerkislánya, a fia, és ott volt még negyedik pici gyereknek a szegény nagybátyámnak a kisfia, a Tomi. Ezek az orosz katonák imádták a gyerekeket, és a mocskos, zsíros sapkájukban hordták hozzánk a kaját, barna cukrot, a fekete, tepsi alakú orosz kenyeret, és a gyerekekkel szakadatlanul beszélgettek, és ölbe vették őket. Úgyhogy ez nekünk nagy szerencsénk volt. Ezzel együtt anyám az én fejemet bekötötte, és eldugott, amennyire tudott [Tudniillik, hogy ne erőszakolják meg a szovjet katonák, akik nagyon sok fiatal nőt erőszakoltak meg Magyarországon. – A szerk.].

Szörnyű rémhírek keringtek, hogy mi van a munkaszolgálatosokkal, hogy mi van Ukrajnában. Sajnos utóbb kiderült, hogy azok a rémhírek, amiket mi hallottunk, elbújhattak az igazság mellett. Apámról meg anyám férfitestvéreiről semmit sem hallottunk. A legelső, akiről hírt hallottunk, az apám volt. Apám Borban volt. Borban a munkaszolgálatosok a rézbányában dolgoztak borzalmas körülmények között, és nagyon örültek, amikor egyszer csak elindítottak haza egy menetet. És mindenki, aki abba nem fért bele, teljesen ki volt borulva, hogy azok már indulnak haza, és ővelük ott mi lesz. Ez az úgynevezett első lépcső volt, amit végighajtottak egészen az osztrák határig [Randolph L. Braham írja, hogy a németek 1944. szeptember közepén döntöttek Bor és környéke kiürítéséről. Az evakuált zsidók első csoportja (kb. 3600 fő), kb. 100 főnyi magyar őrszemélyzet kíséretében szeptember 17-én indult el Borból. Embertelen körülmények között hajtották őket Belgrád, Újvidék és Zombor érintésével Mohácsra. Onnan Szentkirályszabadjára (Veszprém vm.) vitték őket, s valamennyiüket Németországba, a flossenburgi, sachsenhauseni és oranienburgi koncentrációs táborokba deportálták. (A magyar Holocaust, Budapest, Gondolat/Wilmington, Blackburn International Inc., é. n. /1988/). – A szerk.]. Ez volt az, ahol Abdánál Radnótit is lelőtték. Abból az úgynevezett első lépcsőből borzasztó kevesen maradtak meg. Mígnem a második lépcső szinte teljes épségben hazajött, kivéve, akit útközben lelőttek, vagy megfagyott, vagy éhen halt. [Braham információi alapján úgy tűnik, hogy a „második lépcsőben” útnak indított bori munkaszolgálatosok sorsa sem volt jobb, mint az előzőé: az evakuált zsidók második csoportja, kb. 2500 ember szeptember 19-én hagyta el gyalogmenetben Bort. Több száz embert legyilkoltak útközben, a többiek október 6-án érkeztek Cservenkára, ahol 7-én és 8-án 700–1000 embert, miután előbb megásattak velük egy hatalmas gödröt, és lerakatták velük minden értéküket, még a karikagyűrűjüket is, lemészároltak, az életben maradottakat pedig továbbhajtották Zombor felé. Innen – további gyilkosságok mellett – Bajára, majd onnan Szentkirályszabadjára vitték őket, ahonnan zömmel Buchenwaldba és Flossenburgba deportálták a még életben maradottakat. (A magyar Holocaust, Budapest, Gondolat/Wilmington, Blackburn International Inc., é. n. /1988/. – A szerk.)] Amikor Borból indították haza ezt a második lépcsőt, menet közben partizánok támadták meg őket, és egy páran ezek közé keveredtek. Apám rögtön be is állt hozzájuk. Temesvárra került, és Temesvárról jött haza 1945. február végén, hol gyalog, hol talált egy vonatot, ami ment húsz kilométert, hol fölkéredzkedett egy teherautóra, és így ért haza. Emlékszem: egyszer csak csöngetnek, a nagymama kinyitotta az ajtót, és apám ott állt egy óriási hátizsákkal, amiben rengeteg ennivalót hozott nekünk.

Ekkor, apámtól megtudtuk ezt az egész bori dolgot, hogy volt ez Borban. Szerintem a mienk egy nagyon szerencsés család volt, mert hárman haltak meg közülünk, a többiek túlélték. Anyám ikertestvére, Aladár Ukrajnában halt meg munkaszolgálatosként az úgynevezett „kukorékolós században”. Volt akkor egy-két hírhedt munkaszázad Ukrajnában. Ugye a keretlegények se voltak egyformán gonoszak, voltak emberibbek meg kevésbé azok. Ez egy olyan század volt, ahol a keret azt csinálta – ugye 1941–42 tele szörnyű hideg tél volt –, hogy ebben a szörnyű hidegben fölmászatta a munkaszolgálatosokat, akiket büntetni akart, a fára, és addig kellett nekik kukorékolni, amíg le nem estek. Mert ha abbahagyták, lelőtték őket [Nemcsak kukorékolniuk kellett, hanem kiabálniuk is, azt, hogy „Koszos zsidó vagyok!”. Forrás: „Fegyvertelenül álltak az aknamezőkön…” Dokumentumok a munkaszolgálat történetéhez Magyarországon. Összeállította és szerkesztette: Karsai Elek, Budapest, MIOK, 1962.]. Ebben a században szolgált a nagybátyám. Hogy ott volt, és meghalt, azt onnan tudtuk, hogy valamikor 1945. március tájt jött egy vele együtt szolgáló, aki hazakeveredett, és ezt elmondta. Hogy ez a kukorékolás nemcsak legenda volt, emlékszem, hogy 1945-46 körül voltak ilyen jellegű perek. És ennek a „kukorékolós századnak” a parancsnokát meg néhány őrmestert meg a keretlegényeit elítélték.

Még ketten haltak meg Auschwitzban: az édesapám nővére, a Gréti és a lánya, a Lilike. Állítólag egy rokonuk följelentette őket itt, Pesten, és elvitték őket. Amikor Auschwitzba kerültek, Gréti fiatal, jó erőben lévő lányát Mengele úr jobbra intette volna, és őt balra, de a lánya azt mondta, hogy nem hagyom ott az anyut. És addig kiabált, amíg vele mehetett – egyenesen a gázkamráig.

Előkerült anyám öccse, Laci és anyám húgának a férje, Breitner Sándor. Ők szörnyű munkaszolgálatos században voltak, de már nem emlékszem rá, hogy hol. Az egyiknek volt valami kisebb sebesülése.

Róza néni [az anyai nagyapa testvére] megérte  a pénzét. Anyám húgának meglehetősen sok, szép ékszere volt. Gyűrűk, karkötők, láncok. 1944-ben, amikor bejöttek a németek, Róza néni  Dömsödről – mert ő végig ott volt – bejött Pestre, és fölajánlotta, hogy ami kell, adjátok ide, eldugom. A Lenke nagynéném odaadta neki az ékszereit. És 1945-ben Róza néni jelentkezett nálunk, és azt mondta, hogy „Jaj, drága gyerekem, amit nem vittek el a németek, azt elvitték az oroszok!”. De aztán pechje volt, mert anyám legkisebb testvére, a Laci egy barátjával kiment a Róza nénihez, és azt mondták neki: „Róza néni, vagy előadja az ékszereket, vagy addig verjük magát, amíg nem kerülnek elő az ékszerek!” Erre azt mondta, hogy „rokonokkal ezt csináljátok?”. De az ékszerek előkerültek, és visszaadta.

1945 után az első Joint konyhákat apu létesítette. Temesvárott a háború után nagyon hamar az amerikai Joint létesített egy irodát. Apám odament, és miután kitűnően tudott németül, megértette magát. És hozott magával [Budapestre] egy papírt azzal a feladattal, hogy létesítsen itt Joint konyhákat. Létesített is. A valamikori Claridge kávéházban volt az egyik. Ez az Oktogonon volt [A Claridge, amely egy zenés kávéház volt, a Nagymező utca 11. számú ház földszintjén működött 1938-tól. A ház az 1970-es évek óta a Radnóti Színháznak ad otthont. – A szerk.]. Úgy emlékszem, ez volt az első Joint konyha, ami itt megnyílt Pesten. 1945-ben tavasszal, nyáron, ősszel itt még nagy éhezések voltak. Akkor az emberek ezrével jártak batyuzni vonattal vidékre, és onnan szereztek élelmiszert [lásd: feketézés, cserekereskedelem].

Mivel az apu ezzel a Joint megbízatással jött haza, neki nagyon jó fizetése volt. Úgyhogy mi anyagilag attól kezdve, hogy apám hazajött, rendben voltunk. Gazdagok nem voltunk, de alapvető problémánk nem volt. És ami nagyon fontos volt, hogy a fizetése jelentős részét természetben kapta. Tehát, amikor még 1945-ben nagy volt az éhezés, 1946-ban pedig jött az iszonyatos infláció [lásd: a forint bevezetése], akkor apám részben természetben kapott fizetésében sok alapvető, sőt luxusnak is számító élelmiszer volt, például liszt, zsír, cukor, rizs, szardínia, fűszerfélék, kakaó, tejpor, Hershey csokoládé.

Aztán még több Joint konyha lett Pesten. Külföldről szállították az élelmiszert ezeknek a konyháknak az ellátására, illetve amit apu itthon be tudott szerezni, azt beszerezte. Apámnak ezekbe a konyhákba különböző szakemberek kellettek. Többek között például főszakács. A fő konyhájának a főszakácsa az anyám húga lett, aki máshoz nem, de ehhez kiválóan értett. Soha életében ezt nem tanulta szerintem, csak az élet kitanította őt rá, és volt hozzá érzéke. Remekül megszervezte a konyhát és a hozzátartozó éttermet, kitűnően főztek ezeken a konyhákon. Oda olyanok jártak enni, mint például a művészvilág színe-java. Dayka Margittól,  Dobay Lívia operaénekesnőn keresztül, Szép Ernő költő-íróig, mert nem volt mit enni [Dayka Margit (1907–1986 )– színésznő; Dobay Lívia (1912–2002) – szoprán énekesnő; Szép Ernő (18841953)költő, író. – A szerk.] Hogy milyen elv szerint működött ez, hogy oda ki mehetett enni, ki nem, azt nem tudom, de elsősorban az ostromot átélt zsidók kaptak meleg ebédet, meleg vacsorát, és azt hiszem, reggelit is.

Három konyha biztos volt. Volt a fő konyha az Oktogonon, volt még egy valahol a Jókai tér környékén [a Zichy utcában], és volt egy Budán. Ezeket a semmiből szervezte meg az apu. A helyiségtől kezdve a konyhai eszközökön át a személyzetig, a szakácsokig, a könyvelőkig, a munkásokig, akik a nyersanyagokat szállították. Úgyhogy ez egy nagyon komoly szervezőmunka volt. Az apu nagyon ügyes volt ilyesmiben, és több évig csinálta, amíg ez ment. Azután a Joint konyháit valamikor az 1950-es években bezárták. De a Joint mint szervezet sokáig megmaradt, még osztott különböző alapon segélyeket, meg patronált idős zsidókat [A Jointot 1953-ban a kormány irodája bezárására és tevékenysége felfüggesztésére kényszerítette. 1980-ig a Joint a svájci zsidó hitközségen keresztül segített a magyarországi zsidóknak, majd 1980-ban térhetett vissza hivatalosan Magyarországra. – A szerk.].

1945 tavaszán kiderült, hogy amikor anyuval 1944-ben átmentünk a csillagos házba, a Tüzér utcai lakásunkba beköltöztettek egy erdélyi családot. Nem is akartunk igazából visszamenni, mert nem volt az egy igazán jó lakás, és megtudtuk, hogy az erdélyi család valójában egy menekült zsidó család volt. Tehát nem akartuk, hogy utcára kerüljenek. Elköltöztünk a Sziget utca (ma: Radnóti Miklós utca) 9-be. Apám-anyám szívesen jött vissza az Újlipótvárosba.

Volt egy Borsodi nevű fényképész, aki anyáméknak régi-régi ismerőse volt. A fényképész zsidó volt, a felesége keresztény. A feleségének volt valami kisebb birtoka vidéken, és oda leköltöztek már az ostrom alatt, tehát itt hagyták ezt a lakásukat, és mi megvettük. Én az első házasságkötésemig, ami 1950-ben volt, ott is laktam.

Nekünk a háború alatt gyakorlatilag majdnem mindenünk elpusztult. Leégett a Tüzér utcai lakás, de amit újonnan vettünk, az ottmaradt. A nagyanyámékhoz már csak úgy költöztünk a csillagos házba, hogy volt anyámnak egy bőröndje meg nekem egy bőröndöm. Szóval alig valamink maradt meg. Tehát gyakorlatilag újból be kellett rendezkednünk. Anyu bútort meg ágyneműt meg étkészletet élelmiszerért vett. Egy hatszemélyes étkészlet öt kiló zsír, hat kiló liszt és így tovább. Ez nem volt illegális, mindenki ezt csinálta. Bizonyos drágább dolgokat aranyért lehetett venni, x gramm aranyért vagy Napóleon-aranyért [Napoléon d'or – I. és III. Napóleon korában vert 20 frankos aranyérme. – A szerk.]. Először élelmiszert kellett szerezni, azért lehetett aranyat venni, és azért lehetett mást venni. Egészen, amíg be nem jött a forint, 1946 augusztusáig ment így. De volt egy kis baj: a forinttal együtt a jegyrendszer is bejött. Mert 1946-tól 1952-ig jegyrendszer volt. Ezt azért tudom véletlenül ilyen pontosan, mert az idősebbik lányom 1952-ben született, és a jegyrendszer olyan érdekes volt, hogy ő még meg se született, még magzat volt, de járt neki is jegy, és kaptam vaj-, tej-, kolbász-, hús- és egyéb  élelmiszerjegyet az ő részére is [Az ellátás nehézségei miatt a már a háború alatt bevezetett jegyrendszert – lásd: Jegyrendszer Magyarországon (1940–1951) csak 1949-ben szüntették meg, amikor teljesítettnek  nyilvánították a hároméves tervet. Az elhibázott gazdaságpolitika miatt azonban 1950 második felében már jelentős áruhiány mutatkozott, ezért részlegesen visszaállították a jegyrendszert: 1951 januárja és áprilisa között bevezették a cukor- és lisztjegyet, a zsír- és szappanjegyet, a kenyérjegyet, majd a húsjegyet. 1951 decemberében eltörölték a jegyrendszert. – A szerk.].

A háború után folytattam az iskolát. 1945 márciusában indult el újból az iskola a Wesselényi utca és a Körút sarkán álló privát házban. A Lázár Piroska gimnázium [a háború előtt] mint magángimnázium működött. 1945 után nem lehetett nem állami egy gimnázium [lásd: iskolák államosítása Magyaroszágon]. Így maradtunk 1945 után is a Pesti Izraelita Hitközség Abonyi utcai Leánygimnáziumának a tagozata. Tehát mi például évnyitóra meg évzáróra az Abonyi utcai hitközségi gimnáziumba jártunk. Az Abonyi utcai gimnáziumnak volt egy templomi része, ott tartották meg a nagyobb ünnepeket. Az egyik nyelv a latin mellett a német volt. És amikor 1945-ben összeverődtünk, megtagadtuk, hogy a németet folytassuk. Volt egy csodálatos némettanárunk, egy dr. Gordon Eta nevű tanárnő, aki egyébként az ország egyik legjobb francia műfordítója volt. És így a mi nagy szerencsénkre egy pillanat alatt átválthattunk a németről franciára.

Lehettünk körülbelül olyan harminc-harmincöten az osztályban, amikor indultunk 1941-ben. A felszabadulás után, amikor összeállt újból az osztály, és egy negyedév alatt lenyomtuk gyakorlatilag egy évfolyam anyagát, voltunk tizenhatan. A lányok egy része elpusztult, egy része nem jött vissza Magyarországra, volt, aki élt, de nem jött vissza a mi gimnáziumunkba. Az ötvenedik érettségi találkozónkon, 1999-ben elkezdtünk arról beszélni, hogy mi soha életünkben nem beszéltünk arról, hogy velünk mi történt 1944-ben. Annyit tudtunk egymásról, hogy ki hol volt. Volt köztünk egy olyan lány, aki megjárta Auschwitzot, tehát ott volt a [tetovált] szám a karján [Auschwitzban azoknak a deportáltaknak a karjára, akiket nem küldtek azonnal a gázkamrába, hanem kiválogatták munkára, számot tetováltak. Nevük helyett egy számuk lett. – A szerk.]. Valahogyan nem kérdeztük meg, hogy te hogy keveredtél haza, hogy élted túl. Soha nem kérdeztük egymást Az érettségi találkozón el is mondtuk egymásnak, hogy azért utólag rájöttünk, hogy ez valami feneketlen trauma lehetett ilyen fiatal lányoknál, hogy úgy éreztük, mint akiknek a torkát összeszorították egy kötéllel, hogy soha erről ne beszélj. Én ezt az egész dolgot hihetetlen szégyennek éreztem, hogy ez velünk megtörtént, azt kell mondanom, hogy szinte mások helyett szégyelltem magamat. Ilyen szégyenérzettel gondolok vissza ma is ezekre a dolgokra.

1949-ben érettségiztem, akkor jelentkeztem a közgazdasági egyetemre, ahova nem vettek föl, mert kispolgári származású voltam hivatalosan, de egyébként nagyon gyenge felvételi dolgozatot írtam. Ez volt 1950-ben, és az volt a felvételi téma, hogy „Kossuth vagy Széchenyi?”, tessék ezt elképzelni! Nagyon érdekes volt, hogy egy közgazdasági egyetemen ez volt a felvételi téma. Nem vettek fel, és akkor egy jó ideig ebben maradtam, és elmentem dolgozni. És hosszú-hosszú idő után elmentem a külker főiskola levelezőjére, és azt végeztem el [1957-ben jött létre a Külkereskedelmi Levelező Iskola. 1962-ben átalakult önálló Felsőfokú Külkereskedelmi Szakiskolává, ahol a nyelvi és levelező képzés keretében külkereskedelmi áruforgalmi szakismereteket oktattak, valamint külkereskedelmi üzletkötőket képeztek. 1964-től már három szakkal és négy nyelvi tanszékkel működött, 1971-ben főiskolai rangot kapott, ekkor vette fel a Külkereskedelmi Főiskola nevet. – A szerk.]. Akkor már felnőtt voltam, de jól tettem [lásd: esti és levelező oktatás].

Anyámék 1950 körül elváltak, és anyám, aki addig háztartásbeli volt, nehezen ment el dolgozni, és csak különböző alkalmi munkái voltak. Én először elmentem tisztviselőnek a Szabolcs utcai kórházba, mert az első férjemnek – akit én akkor már ismertem a húgán, az én gimnáziumi osztálytársnőmön keresztül – a nagybátyja ott volt gazdasági igazgató. Így én oda kerültem mint tisztviselő. Akkor onnét – már nem tudom, hogyan – 1950-ben átkerültem a MOKÉP-hez [A magyar filmipar és filmforgalmazás államosításakor (1948) létrehozták (a) a Magyar Filmgyártó Nemzeti Vállalatot (többször is átszervezték, 1959-ben létrehozták a Hunnia Filmstúdiót és a Budapest Filmstúdiót, majd a kettőt összeolvasztották „Magyar Filmgyártó Vállalat /MAFILM/ néven) és (b) a Mozgóképüzemi Nemzeti Vállalatot (MOKÉP; a Népművelési Minisztérium alá tartozott): A MOKÉP lett – és volt 1989-ig – az egyetlen központi filmkölcsönző és -forgalmazó vállalat, de mozija nem volt. – A szerk.], ott műsorbeosztó voltam. A műsorbeosztó osztotta be az országban lévő normál és keskeny (akkor még volt ilyen) moziknak a műsorát, általában egy  hónapra előre. Egy-egy megye volt a területünk, így én például eleinte Vas és Zala, majd Somogy megye, végül Pest megye moziinak a műsorát intéztem. Egy moziműsor a játékfilmből, az úgynevezett kísérő filmből, ami egy rövidfilm volt, és híradóból állt. Minden héten megkaptuk az a heti új (külföldi – ami főleg szovjet és szocialista volt –, valamint magyar) filmek megjelenését, hogy hány kópiában forgalmazzák. A filmeket természetesen mind láttuk, hetente kétszer-háromszor filmvetítéssel kezdődött a munkanap.

Utána elmentem dolgozni 1957-ben a Hungarofilm Vállalathoz [A Hungarofilmet 1956-ban hozták létre a magyar filmek külföldi forgalmazására, illetve külföldi filmek importjára. – A szerk.]. A második férjem  akkor az igazgatóhelyettese, majd 1962-től az igazgatója volt.

Év végén eljöttem, és átmentem az Artexhez [Az Artex Külkereskedelmi Vállalat volt felelős a külföldre irányuló állami műtárgykivitelért. – A szerk.]. Ott foglalkoztam egy jó pár évig magyar játékexporttal. Akkoriban csak állami külkereskedelmi vállalatok voltak, talán összesen huszonöt-harminc volt az országban. A Külkereskedelmi Minisztérium határozta meg az egyes vállalatok profilját, és a játékexportot  áttették a Konzumex külkervállalathoz.

Körülbelül harminc évig dolgoztam ott, kezdtem mint üzletkötő, és befejeztem mint kereskedelmi igazgató. A Konzumex kereskedelmi igazgatóságokra volt fölosztva. Hozzám tartozott a ruházat, textília. Ez olyan munka volt, amit első perctől fogva szerettem. Harminc év a Konsumexnél. Ennyi időt az ember nem is tudna szerintem eltölteni egy helyen, csak akkor, ha ott nagyon jól érzi magát. Ez egy jó vállalat volt. Nagyon szomorúan láttam, amikor hazajöttünk Rómából 1990 nyarán, hogy kezdték a privatizációval szétszedni. Egyébként ehhez a vállalathoz tartozott az összes fogyasztási cikk importja, kivéve az autóké, mert az a MOGÜRT-é volt [A MOGÜRT (Magyar Országos Gépkocsi Üzemi Részvénytársaság) 1946-ban alakult meg, 1948-ban államosították, majd egy évvel később szakosított külkereskedelmi vállalattá alakították át, és a neve MOGÜRT Gépjármű Külkereskedelmi Vállalatra változott. A cég fő profilja az autók és autóalkatrészek exportja és importja volt. A vállalatot 1992-ben privatizálták. – A szerk.]. A tőkés ruházati import tartozott hozzánk, de a tőkés ruházati exportot a Hungarotex [Külkereskedelmi Vállalat] folytatta. Mi kereskedtünk a rubel-elszámolású országokkal – ezek a KGST-országok meg Kuba, Kína és Vietnam voltak. Ezekkel mi végeztük a ruházati meg az egyéb fogyasztási cikkek exportját is. Úgyhogy nálam is rengeteg import is meg export is volt. Izgalmas, érdekes munka volt.

Egy külkereskedelmi vállalatnak a szellemi nívója, azt hiszem, jobb volt, mint akár egy belkereskedelmi, akár egy ipari vállalatnak. Mert nekünk azért nyelveket kellett tudni, kellett valami szélesebb látókör, ismeret ahhoz, hogy tárgyalni tudjon többek között nyugati szakemberekkel is. Természetesen mindenki tudta, hogy miután nagy volt az érintkezési felület külfölddel, külföldi cégekkel, külföldi személyekkel, járnak hozzánk a belügyből. Legtöbbször a személyzetishez vagy az igazgatóhoz mentek, érdeklődtek erről-arról, és meg voltunk róla győződve, hogy vannak köztünk téglák [besúgók]. De ez senkit igazából nem érdekelt. Én is mindig azt mondtam, hogy ha rólam valamit jelentenek, hát jelentenek. Semmi olyat nem teszek, amiből nekem bajom lehetne. De volt olyan kollégám, akiről tudom, hogy volt balhéja. Korrupciógyanúba keveredett, aztán mégis hagyták, hogy dolgozzon, szóval ilyen elmaszatolt dolgok voltak [].

Nem voltak rosszak a fizetések, és a fizetésen kívül volt nyelvpótlék. Nekem negyvenöt százalék nyelvpótlékom volt, mert akkor három felsőfokú nyelvvizsgám volt. Ugyanis anyám tanulási mániájából kifolyólag négy nyelvet nagyon jól megtanultam. Én mindig azt mondtam, hogy ha nekem ötször annyi fizetést adnának, teljesen felesleges lenne, mert ötször jobban nem tudnék dolgozni. Mert úgy dolgoztam, mintha a magamé lenne.

Akkoriban az emberek jelentős része úgy gondolta, hogy nem vagyunk elég jól megfizetve, és lehetőség szerint minél kevesebbet adjunk ki magunkból. Ez főleg akkorra volt igaz, amikor már lehetett valami mellékállásból plusz pénzt keresni. Voltak GMK-k [lásd: gazdasági munkaközösség] és hasonló  lehetőségek. Nagyon sok ember élt így, hogy tessék-lássék, amit nagyon muszáj volt, azt megcsinálta, de az erejét tartogatta a privát életére [Az interjúalany feltehetően az 1970-es évekről beszél, mert a kisebbik lánya akkor volt gyerek. GMK-k viszont csak 1981-től évektől léteztek. – A szerk.]. De azért sokan dolgoztak tényleg lelkiismeretesen a munkahelyükön. A két lányom, pláne a kisebbik, még ma is mondja, hogy én milyen keveset voltam velük. És ezt nagyon sajnálom egyébként, de tényleg úgy volt, hogy ha dolgozni kellett, mert valamit végig kellett vinni, engem egyáltalán nem érdekelt, hogy hány óra van, délután öt-e vagy este hét.

Elég nagy szigorúságot tartottam. Azt mondtam: „Gyerekek! Karácsonykor el lehet fogadni egy üveg kölnit vagy egy üveg bort, de itt megvesztegetés nincs, mert ha valahol van, akkor kész.” „Nem azért, mert tiltja a törvény, hanem azért, mert akkor nem leszünk többé szabad emberek. Akitől valamit elfogadsz, azzal soha többé szabadon nem tudsz tárgyalni. A lekötelezettje vagy, és te vele már többé jó üzletet kötni nem fogsz.”

A munkatársaimnak őszintén megmondtam a véleményemet róluk, a munkájukról. Szívesen dicsértem, ha volt mit, de azt is megmondtam, ha rossz munkát végeztek, vagy éppen nem volt valaki alkalmas. Ez nem volt szokás. Az embereket egy kicsit hazugságban tartották, mert nem szembesítették őket azzal, hogy mire képesek. A végére az a csapat, amelyikkel én dolgoztam, remek emberekből állt. Néhányukkal most is nagyon jóban vagyok.

A Konzumexnél a munkámból kifolyólag sokat utaztam. Ez akkoriban elég privilegizált helyzet volt. Azért is szerettem ennyire a munkámat, mert tele voltam sikerélményekkel. Valahogyan szerencsém volt sok időn keresztül, hogy szinte soha nem kötöttem rossz üzleteket. Heteket, hónapokat voltam külföldön. Kínában voltam háromszor, méghozzá hosszú ideig. Egész Európát bejártam, Távol-Keletre nagyon sokat utaztam, voltam amerikai-, latin-amerikai és afrikai országokban. Hallatlan nyitottságot adott ez a munka. És egy közvetlen információszerzési lehetőség volt, ami megfizethetetlen. Nagyon szerettem utazni, a férjem is rengeteget utazott, de soha föl nem merült bennünk, hogy disszidáljunk. Egy sor barátunk disszidált 1956-ban [lásd: disszidálás], de nekünk ez nem jutott eszünkbe. Én azt gondoltam, hogy ide születtem, ez a hazám, vagy olyan rendszer van, ami nekem tetszik, vagy nem, de akkor is ez az egy nyelv az anyanyelvem, itthon vagyunk, tehát nincs miért disszidálni.

Az első férjem, Varga György [szül. 1924] húgával egy gimnáziumi osztályba jártunk. Ő a háború után lett az osztálytársnőm, nagyon okos, helyes lány volt. Jó barátok lettünk, és ugye jött az iskolába a húgáért a bátyja, belém szeretett, és éppen csak azt volt hajlandó megvárni, amíg leérettségizem, és érettségi után, 1950-ben össze is házasodtunk.

Ő egy vidéki [barcsi] zsidó család tagja volt. Az édesapja egyike volt a legrégibb magyarországi szocdemeknek [lásd: MSZDP], úgyhogy őt nem is mint zsidót vitték el  vidékről, hanem sokkal előbb mint szocdemet Mauthausenbe. De csak őt vitték el, a családot békén hagyták, aztán mint vidéki zsidókat vitték el, és az édesanyját Auschwitzban elgázosították, de a férjem húga megmaradt. Tetováltak rá számot, és csontvázként hazajött. Az apja később megnősült másodszor is, és 1946-ban felköltöztek Pestre, Budára pontosabban. Ez egy nagyon rendes, helyes, barátságos légkörű család volt. Kedves, nagyon okos ember volt az apja. A férjem gyerekkorában lehetett valami vallásosság a családban, de mivel az édesapja szocdem volt és nagyon felvilágosult, olyan nagy vallásosságról bizony szó se volt, inkább hagyományápolásról.

A zsidó családokban sok azonosság volt a hagyományokban. Például amikor anyám a hét végére libát vett, annak sajátos „menetrendje” volt. Pénteken volt húsleves és aprólék, gomba- vagy paradicsommártással. Szombaton sült liba és máj volt, sólettel, töltött libanyakkal. Ez a libanyak bőre, paprikás liszttel megtöltve, a sóletben főzve vagy külön megsütve, felszeletelve. Ugyanez a szokás volt az első férjem családjában, Barcson és a második férjem családjában, Pesten.

Az első férjemnek már nagyon fiatalon nagyon magas beosztásai voltak, mert kitűnő gazdasági szakember volt. Először a Földművelési Minisztériumnak a főkönyvelője volt. Aztán nagyon sokáig a Magyar Televízió propaganda-reklámszervezetének volt a vezetője. Nagyon jó gazdasági szakember volt. És aztán az első nem állami rádiót, a Danubius Rádiót ő hozta létre.

Hét évig éltünk együtt. Azért váltunk el, mert valahogy nem illettünk össze. Énmiattam váltunk el, én nem akartam a házasságot fönntartani. Ez a Kádár-rendszer kezdete volt, amikor a szocialista erkölcs konzervatívabb, dogmatikusabb volt, mint a legkeresztényibb erkölcs. És ha a két váló fél közül az egyik azt mondta, hogy én fönn akarom tartani a családi kapcsolatot, különösen, ha közös gyerek is volt, akkor nehezen lehetett elválni. Úgyhogy több mint két évig tartott a válóperünk, végül 1959-ben váltunk el. A válás után, ha nem is volt baráti, de korrekt maradt a viszonyunk, hiszen volt egy közös gyerekünk. Sőt amikor a második férjem meghalt, ő nagyon rendesen felkeresett, hogy tud-e segíteni valamiben. Az első férjem  1995-ben halt meg itt, Pesten.

A nagyobbik lányom, Julika, 1951-ben született, a Kossuth Zsuzsa gimnáziumban érettségizett, kitűnő eredménnyel. Ekkor már anyámmal élt, mert amikor elváltam, és újból férjhez mentem, ő anyámat választotta, vele akart élni. Anyám, azt hiszem, őt szerette a legjobban a világon. Együtt is éltek egészen Julika férjhezmeneteléig, 1972-ig. Julika az ELTE jogi szakán doktorált, de nem jogászkodott soha, újságíró lett, mint a férje. Két gyereke van: Péter, a legidősebb unokám, aki most harmincegy éves, neurobiológus kutató, „summa cum laude” doktorált, nemrég nősült meg. A lánya, Mariola pedig egy nagy bank központjában dolgozik. Két okos, kedves, melegszívű gyerek.

A második férjem, Dósai István egy kifejezetten jómódú zsidó családból származott. Az édesapjának péksége és péküzlete volt, meg bérházai valamikor még a két háború között. De tönkrementek még a németektől függetlenül is, mert volt egy rokonuk, akinek a férjem apja kezességet vállalt egy váltóra, amit az nem fizetett ki. A férjem anyanyelvi szinten beszélt németül, mert gyerekkorában fräulein volt velük, és így tanultak meg  németül. De anyanyelvi szinten beszélt öt nyelven: németül, angolul, franciául, olaszul, spanyolul. A bátyja még eggyel többet tudott, még portugálul is tudott nagyon jól.

A Szent István gimnáziumban érettségizett 1944-ben. Kitűnőre érettségizett mindenből, pedig akkor nagyon kegyetlen dolog volt egy zsidó fiúnak kitűnőre érettségizni. És behívták rögtön munkaszolgálatra. Borban volt [lásd: bori rézbányák], onnét jött haza. Ő is ebben a bizonyos második lépcsőben volt.

A férjem nagyon baloldali érzelmű és meggyőződésű volt. Jelentkezett húszegynéhány éves korában az egyetem mellett a honvédségbe. Nagyon fiatalon a szolnoki repülőtiszti főiskolán volt főhadnagyi rangban politikai tiszt. Itt tanította a jövendő repülőtiszteket. Egy ízben lement a Farkas Mihály, aki akkor honvédelmi miniszter volt, egy szokásos reptérvizitre. A férjem éppen az 1933-as németországi választásokat magyarázta a hallgatóinak, és ott maradt a táblán egy grafikon, ami azt mutatta, hogy a korábbi német munkáspárti szavazók közül milyen sokan szavaztak a náci pártra [Az 1933-as választást a Hitler vezette Nemzeti Szocialista Német Munkáspárt nyerte meg, és Hitler lett Németország kancellárja. – A szerk.] Farkas Mihály nagy megdöbbenéssel nézte, bement a tanterembe is, hogy mi ez. Kérdezte, hogy ki az, aki az iskolán ezt tanítja. Mondták, hogy a Dósai. „Hát ennek jó lenne utánanézni” – mondta Farkas.

Ebből egy koncepciós per lett. Egy katonatiszt barátja, akivel egy albérletben lakott, volt az elsőrendű vádlott, ő a másodrendű. A vád a népi demokrácia aláásása hamis adatokkal, szervezkedés meg kémkedés lett. El is ítélték őt, ha jól emlékszem, tizenöt évre, amiből le is ült öt évet. 1954-ben szabadult ki, amikor elkezdődtek a rehabilitálások. [Sztálin 1953-as halála után Hruscsov, az utódja, meghirdette az olvadás politikáját. A hruscsovi desztalinizációs korszakot Ilja Ehrenburg 1954-ben megjelent Olvadás c. kisregénye nyomán nevezték „olvadás”-nak. Az MDP vezetőit Moszkvába rendelték, és Rákosi helyett Nagy Imrét nevezték ki miniszterelnöknek. A Nagy Imre nevével fémjelzett politikai enyhülés idején megkezdődött – többek között – a politikai okokból törvénytelenül bebörtönzöttek rehabilitálása, a kitelepítések megszüntetése és hatálytalanítása. 1955 tavaszára azonban felülkerekedtek a keményvonalas kommunisták, Nagy Imrét 1955 áprilisában megfosztották tisztségétől, és kizárták a pártból. – A szerk.] De a koncepciós pere valódi okait csak a kiszabadulása után, évekkel később ismerte meg, akkor fogalma sem volt róla.

Farkas Mihály látogatása után néhány napi szabadságra feljött Pestre, és amikor visszaérkezett Szolnokra, két beosztottja várta a vasútállomáson. Meg is köszönte, hogy kimentek eléje autóval. Az autóban az egyik tiszt előre, a másik hátra ült. Aki mellette ült, azt mondta neki: „Pista, vedd le a pisztolytáskádat, és add át a pisztolyodat, mert le vagy tartóztatva.” Azt hitte, hogy ez csak valami baráti ugratás – de hamar kiderült, hogy nem. Elkezdődött egy hónapokig tartó kihallgatássorozat, először a Fő utcai katonai börtönben, majd más börtönökben, tárgyalás és ítélet.

Nagyon nehezen és keveset beszélt a férjem arról, ami ott történt velük a tárgyalások előtt, a kihallgatások során, majd a börtönben, de körülbelül olyasmik, mint amilyeneket olyan nagyon szívesen mutogatnak most a Terror Házában. Ami a férjemet abszolút nem ingatta meg a baloldali meggyőződésében. Az is maradt élete végéig. Ő ott jött rá arra, hogy kiknek a kezébe került akkor személy szerint a hatalom. Ez aztán nagyon rányomta a bélyegét az egész életére. Ez egy borzasztó dolog volt. De ettől a férjem csak még okosabb lett. Lehet, hogy elfogult vagyok persze, bár sok másnak is ez volt a véleménye róla, de intelligens, okos, rendkívül művelt, jószívű, kedves, elragadó, egy igazi charmeur volt, aki mindenkit elbűvölt. Mert mindenkit szeretett, őszinte, nyitott szívvel közeledett mindenkihez.

Soha többé a honvédség tájékára se akart menni, de fölajánlottak neki mindenféle állást. Volt akkor a különböző filmes vállalatoknak (MOKÉP, megyei moziüzemi vállalatok) egy felettes hatósága, a Népművelési Minisztérium Országos Moziüzemi Igazgatósága (OMI). Ez lett később a Filmfőigazgatóság [Filmfőigazgatóság – centralizált intézmény volt a filmszakmai döntések meghozatalára (1957-től működött): minden Magyarországon készült, valamint Magyarországon bemutatott filmet kötelező volt forgalmazás előtt a Filmfőigazgatóságnál bemutatni, regisztráltatni, besoroltatni. Vétójoga volt (a film forgatókönyvét illetően is, a kész film forgalmazását illetően is övé volt a végső szó), amely fennállásáig megmaradt, s ha valamelyik film túlságosan avantgárdnak, szókimondónak stb. bizonyult, azt archiválta, de nem engedélyezte a bemutatását. Hatósági jogköre volt az állami dotáció felhasználását, a filmengedélyek okiratának kiadását, a filmek korhatárának megállapítását stb. illetően. A Filmfőigazgatóság döntötte el (a Hungarofilmmel együtt), hogy kijut-e egy-egy film valamelyik nemzetközi fesztiválra. (Bizonyos tevékenységeit az 1991-ben megalakult Magyar Mozgókép Alapítvány vette át.) – A szerk.]. Ez akkor a Báthory utca 10-ben működött. Itt ajánlottak fel neki osztályvezetői állást, amit el is fogadott, mert mindig nagyon érdekelte a kultúra, irodalom, film. Az OMI több dolgozója – többek között ő is – átjárt hetente kétszer-háromszor a MOKÉP házivetítőjébe, filmvetítésekre. A MOKÉP és a Fővárosi Moziüzemi Vállalat akkor – a város háborús megrongálódása miatt – a jelenlegi Royal Szállodában működött [A mozikat az államosításig a politikai pártok kezelésébe adták ( pl. 1945 novemberében az egykori Lloyd /később Duna, ma Odeon/ mozi Budapest Székesfőváros Polgármesterétől a Szociáldemokrata Párt moziérdekeltségeként kapott ideiglenes nyitási engedélyt). 1948-ban sor került a mozik államosítására és központi irányítására is: lett 19 önálló megyei, ill. egy fővárosi moziüzemeltető vállalat (az utóbbi neve Fővárosi Mozgóképszínház Vállalat, majd 1954-től Fővárosi Moziüzemi Vállalat (FÖMO), amely gazdasági, technikai, irányítási, és felügyeleti szempontból a Fővárosi Tanács alá tartozott). Nem tudjuk, hogy az Országos Moziüzemi Igazgatóságot mikor hívták életre, és mi volt a funkciója, valószínűleg a megyei és a fővárosi moziüzemi vállalatok felettes hatósága volt. – A szerk.].

Én ugyanebben az épületben dolgoztam, a MOKÉP-nél, és egy jó barátnőm, egy nagyon szép asszony is ott dolgozott. Ez az a lódenkabátos, svájcisapkás idő volt. De nekem nem a szokásos zöld lódenkabátom volt, hanem egy világosbarna, és nem barna svájcisapkát hordtam, hanem pirosat.

Minden héten kétszer vetítéssel kezdődött a munka, a házi vetítőben. A férjem, ahogy utóbb elmondta nekem, amikor kijött öt év börtön után, meglehetősen megviselt állapotban volt, és csak azt látta, hogy két nagyon csinos nő van ott, az egyik piros svájcisapkát hord, a másik barnát. Megkérdezte a kollégáit, hogy láttam, gyerekek, a vetítőben két nagyon csinos nőt  az egyiken piros, a másikon barna svájci sapka, azok kik? Mondták erre neki, hogy nézd, a barna svájcisapkás egy vidéki asszony, nemrég vált el. De a másiktól óvakodj, annak a férje nagyon féltékeny. Ez utóbbi voltam én. Az élet tényleg mókás, István így a barátnőmnek kezdett el udvarolni, és talán egy fél év után el is vette őt feleségül. Együtt is éltek egy évig, de azután elváltak 1957-ben. Mi pedig 1960 februárjában házasodtunk össze.

A Rákosi-rendszer alatti élet és életmód, szokások nagyon különböztek a Kádár-rendszer alatti, különösen annak már az 1960-as évektől kezdődő szakaszától. Az szinte két különböző világ volt. A Rákosi-rendszerben nem volt kérdés, hogy mi kötelező, és mi nem. Mindenki tudta, hogy mi kötelező. Kötelező volt mindenen részt venni. Én például a felvételi irodán voltam tisztviselő a Szabolcs utcai kórházban, és ott kötelező Szabad Nép-félóra volt. Úgy hívták a párt lapját, hogy „Szabad Nép” [Politikai napilap volt, 1942. február – 1956. október között (1942. május és 1944. szeptember között nem jelenhetett meg), 1945 márciusától az MKP, majd 1948 júniusától az MDP központi lapja. Utódja 1956 novemberétől a „Népszabadság”. – A szerk.]. A munkaidő 7-kor kezdődött, és egy héten egyszer, de inkább kétszer be kellett menni reggel 6-ra, mert akkor az előző napi „Szabad Nép”-et elemeztük. Csoportok voltak, meg volt határozva, hogy ki hova jár, annak volt egy vezetője, és elemeztük, hogy mit írt a „Szabad Nép” az imperialistákról, a gyárról, a földekről. Abban a csoportban, ahova én jártam, mint tizennyolc-tizenkilenc éves lány, volt a kórházból néhány ápolónő, néhány orvos, és ezeket a Szabad Nép-félórákat a kórház fűtője tartotta. Kötelező volt május elsején felvonulni, kötelező volt a november hetedikei ünnepség [Május 1. mint a szervezett nemzetközi munkásság és a munka ünnepe 1946-tól lett munkaszüneti nap. November 7. a Nagy Októberi Szocialista Forradalom évfordulója, melyet minden évben megünnepeltek a szocialista országokban, szintén munkaszüneti nap volt 1990-ig. –  A szerk.] Olyan fura, hogy tulajdonképpen ez a tényleg nagyon-nagyon rossz és nehezen átélhető Rákosi-kor néhány év volt csak, és mégis annyira rányomta a bélyegét az ember életére.

Egészen másképp nézett már ki a Kádár-rendszer. Annak a rendszernek, ami miatt olyan sok ember örömmel élt benne, többek között a fő meglátása az volt, hogy az embereket maximálisan békén kell hagyni. Így lehetett az, hogy amit nem tudtak az emberek közösségben kiélni, azt a saját családi, baráti társaságukban, magánéletükben megtehették. Így volt, hogy legyen egy kis telek, ha lehet, vegyünk autót, ha lehet, utazzunk el, nyaraljunk, menjünk ide-oda. Megvoltak a rituális ünnepek, az április 4., május 1. meg november 7., de ezeknek messze nem volt már olyan jelentőségük, mint a Rákosi-rendszerben. Nem voltak olyannyira kötelezőek, hogy bárkinek bármi baja lett volna, ha nem volt ott egy november hetedikei ünnepségen. Adtak pénzjutalmat, kitüntetéseket, az ember meghallgatott néhány többé-kevésbé rosszul, néha jól sikerült beszédet. A május elsejék a végén annyira nem voltak kötelezőek, hogy amikor az 1970-es években rengeteg embernek lett a Duna-kanyarban vagy a Balatonon hétvégi háza, az ünnep körüli két-három üres napon mindenki szanaszét futott, és soha senkinek nem szóltak, hogy miért nem jött felvonulni. Mi is vettünk 1972-ben a Balaton mellett egy nagyon szép kis telket. Tényleg csak a part, a nádas volt előttünk, és nagyon szerettünk lejárni.  Szóval az emberek kezdtek jobban keresni, biztonságosabban, békésebben élni. És habár a légkör nagyon depolitizált volt, de a férjem és a baráti társaságunk sokat vitatkozott politikáról.

Az életem jelentős részében a politikának nem tulajdonítottam sok jelentőséget, nagyon el voltam foglalva a saját életemmel. A gyerekkoromban sokat hallottam az aktuális politikai eseményekről, mert a családunk arra volt kényszerítve, hogy odafigyeljen arra, hogy mi történik. Végül is az életünk múlott azon, hogy mi történik. De én örültem, hogy ez lezárult, és most már normális békebeli élet van, és dehogy érdekelt engem, hogy mi történik. Amikor kineveztek először osztályvezetőnek, emlékszem, hogy szóltak nekem a főnökeim, akikkel jó viszonyban voltam, hogy nem gondolnám-e, hogy be kellene lépni a pártba. Mondtam, hogy eddig erre nem gondoltam. „Most miért kellene rá gondolnom?” „Mert mégis most már osztályvezető, és tulajdonképpen a képességeitől maga akár miniszter is lehetne.” Erre azt feleltem: „Mondok én valamit, ha a képességeimtől akár miniszter is lehetnék, majd leszek. Ezért én ugyan be nem lépek sehová.” Ebben maradtunk. És párton kívüliként lettem kereskedelmi igazgató. Érdekes módon akkoriban kezdett el érdekelni a politika, azt gondoltam, hogy talán mégiscsak belépek én a pártba, mert ezen a párton valamit változtatni kellene. 1978-ban beléptem, és benn is maradtam a pártban egészen 1989-ig, amikor feloszlott.

A kisebbik lányom, Tamara 1962-ben született. A nevét egy Lermontov költeményből, a „Démon”-ból kapta, a főhős költő szerelme egy grúz hercegnő, Tamara után. Azt hiszem, illik rá a neve, szereti is. A Radnótiba járt, ennek fantasztikus jó neve volt mindig. Odajárt első általánostól kezdve, ott is érettségizett le, igen jó eredménnyel. Az apja is meg én is humán beállítottságúak voltunk, de Tamara úgy gondolta, hogy neki valami mást kell tenni, úgy döntött, hogy biológus lesz. A debreceni egyetemre vették fel, elvégzett a földrajz–biológia szakon egy félévet, majd a budapesti ELTE-n folytatta. De rájött, hogy a biológia nem neki való, jelentkezett a Külkereskedelmi Főiskola külker-marketing szakára (ma ez a külgazdaság szak), és olyan kitűnő felvételit produkált, hogy egyből felvették. Nagyon jó eredménnyel végezte el a főiskolát, méghozzá úgy, hogy közben férjhez ment, megszületett Dávid fia, és egy kisgyerek mellett végezte el a főiskola nappali szakát. Ráadásul még mi sem tudtunk a férjemmel neki segíteni, mert hiszen közben, 1984-ben kimentünk a férjemmel Rómába, hosszú évekre. Tamara  nem lett külkeres, hanem a reklámszakmát választotta, ma is egy reklámcégnek az egyik tulajdonosa, ezt szereti, és jól csinálja. Dávid unokám idén huszonkét éves, szociológiát hallgat az ELTE-n, igazi mai fiatal, értelmes, olvasott, szabadelvű, sokat politizál.

Mind a két lányom nagyon korán ment férjhez. Nekem ugyan azt mondták, hogy ők soha olyan korán nem mennek férjhez, és fognak szülni, mint én, hogy még húsz éves se voltam. Mind a kettő ezt tette.

Nagyon sokáig a gyerekeim semmit sem kérdeztek a múltunkról, mert mi soha nem beszéltünk a megrázkódtatásról, ami mindegyikünket ért. De nem azért, mert akár a férjem, akár én bármiféle tagadnivalót találtunk volna ebben, úgy gondoltuk, hogy erről nincs mit beszélni. Úgy gondoltuk, hogy annak a világnak egyszer s mindenkorra vége, amikor ez bármihez az életben szempont lehet. Nem tagadtuk soha, hogy zsidók vagyunk, hanem ez egyszerűen nem volt otthon téma. Tipikusan az a fajta család voltunk, amilyenről az ember hall meg olvas, hogy a gyerekek felnőnek, mire megtudják a szülők, a család múltját. Nem volt olyan, hogy gyertek, üljetek le, mert most elmondunk egy nagy titkot. Úgy lassan, apránként derült ki. A nagyobbik lányom éveken keresztül élt az édesanyámmal, úgy kilenc-tíz éves korától 1972-ig, a férjhezmeneteléig. És az én édesanyám, aki ha nagyon szigorúan vesszük, csak félig volt zsidó, mégis zsidóbb volt, mint én. Ő nagyanyaként több mindent adott át a zsidóságból, mint én a gyerekemnek. Szóval Julika lányom korábban ismerte a zsidóságát, elfogadta, nem voltak ezzel gondjai, amennyire én tudom, sem a gimnáziumban, sem az egyetemen. A kisebbiknél ez később történt meg. Mert mi a férjemmel nem tartottuk ezt az egész dolgot megbeszélendő témának. Ma úgy érzem, hogy ez egy nagy butaság volt, mert az életünknek erről a részéről a gyerekeinknek jogosan tudniuk kellett volna a kezdet kezdetétől, arról, hogy a családdal mi történt a háború alatt, és így lassan összeállhat bennük a kép.

Ez a blokkolás nem is olyan nagyon régen ért véget, talán most, tizenöt éve. Azóta, amióta itt elölről kezdődött sok minden, amitől az, aki annyi idős, mint én, egész egyszerűen meghökken. Hogy újból folyik a Horthy-korszak rehabilitálása, hogy ismét szinte szalonképes antiszemitának lenni, sőt nyíltan lehet dicsőíteni még a nyilasokat is. Hogyhogy nem látják, hogy ennek mi lesz a vége?! Ennek kapcsán egypár dolgot elmondtam a lányaimnak. Ez tényleg érdekli őket, mert a legélesebb kérdéseket mindig úgy teszik föl nekem, hogy ők nem tudják megérteni, hogy például miért nem mentünk el innét, már amikor a zsidótörvényeket [lásd: zsidótörvények Magyarországon] létrehozták. Erre nem tudok válaszolni. Csak azt tudom mondani, hogy volt, aki elment, és volt, aki úgy érezte, hogy ezt nem lehet. Itt születtünk, ez a hazánk. Miért mennénk el? Vagy hogy „Mi az, hogy bevittek titeket a gettóba, mi az, hogy ott tartottak, hogyhogy bevagoníroztak?! Hát ez nem létezik! Többen voltatok, mint a csendőrök!”. És nagyon-nagyon kínkeservesen tudom csak elmondani, és nem is tudom, hogy fölfogják-e, mert mindig ez a szöveg, hogy így tűrtétek, hogy a vágóhídra vigyenek titeket. Igen. Így tűrtük. Erre kérdeznek rá legtöbbet. Ez egyszerűen nem fér a fejükbe.

Ennek van egy nagyon érdekes folytatása, ami engem is borzasztóan meglepett. Az édesanyám ikertestvérének, az Aladárnak, aki Ukrajnában, munkaszolgálatosként halt meg, volt egy fia, a Tomi.  Ő körülbelül 1942-ben született, velünk volt a csillagos házban. Az édesanyja meghalt 1944-ben tüdőgyulladásban, és ő egy darabig nálunk volt, aztán az anyai nagyanyja magához vette. Amikor az meghalt, árvaházba került. Ő volt a családból az egyetlen, aki elment Izraelbe, ma is ott él. Julika lányom megtudta az izraeli címét, telefonszámát, és elkezdett vele levelezni. Én körülbelül nyolc évvel ezelőtt egy barátnőmmel elmentem egy turistaútra Izraelbe, elhatároztam, hogy telefonálok neki, megkeresem őt, akit én utoljára 1945 tájt láttam, mint hároméves gyereket. Találkoztunk is. Kiderült, hogy nagyon sok mindenre emlékszik a gyerekkorából. Egy már kint született felesége volt, aki sajnos azóta meghalt, és két gyönyörű, már felnőtt gyereke. A fia katonatiszt, méghozzá repülős, és az amerikai hadseregben képezték ki. Ott élt együtt a szülőkkel. Valamennyit értettek magyarul. Akkor ez a fiatal srác azt mondta nekem: „Akármit beszélt apám, meg te is akármit mondasz nekem, soha nem fogom megérteni, hogy történhetett ez veletek.”  Mondom: „Nézd, nem is fogjuk tudni ezt megmagyarázni neked, mert ahhoz ott kellett élni és akkor.” „Nem. Én tudom, hogy ti mire hivatkoztok, de nézz ide, mutatok neked valamit.” És megmutatja nekem az övét, amin lóg egy tőr. Mondom: „Ezt minek mutatod?” Azt mondja: „Nézd! Hogyha bárki hozzám ér, és a halálomat akarja, és valamire akar kényszeríteni, akkor én lehet, hogy meghalok, de előbb ő hal meg.” És én ott leszédültem ezen a gondolatmeneten, ami egy szabadságban született és ott felnőtt embernek a gondolkodásmódja, hogy meghalok, de nem hagyom magamat.

Amikor a lányaim kisgyerekek voltak, húsvétkor festettünk tojást, a nyuszika tojt csoki nyuszit, jártak locsolni hozzánk fiúk a gyerekekhez. Karácsonyfánk csaknem mindig volt, és volt karácsonyi ajándékozás is. De persze ezeket nem tekintettük vallási ünnepeknek, inkább a gyerekek örömére szolgált. A rendszerváltás óta azonban ezeket megszüntettük, részben mert nemcsak a gyerekek, de az unokák is mind felnőttek, részben mert talán ez egyfajta ellenállás is az elterjedt zsidózás hatására.

Ma, amikor a vallásosságnak meg a hagyományoknak szerintem minden valláshoz tartozónál van egyfajta reneszánsza, az én kisebbik lányom, Tamara sok mindent megtanult a zsidó szokásokból, vallási ünnepekből.  Amikor a fia, Dávid hat éves lett, a Lauder Javne iskolába íratta be [Lauder Javne Zsidó Közösségi Óvoda, Általános, Közép- és Szakiskola, amelyet alapítvány működtet. Történetéről, különleges pedagógiai módszereiről lásd az iskola honlapját: www.lauder.hu – A szerk.], ahogyan mondta, egyrészt mert az egy kitűnő iskola, másrészt, hogy hadd legyen a fiának identitása. 

A Konzumextől mentem nyugdíjba, de közben még kimentem Rómába a férjemmel, hét évig éltünk ott. A férjem volt a Római Magyar Akadémia igazgatója. Az tényleg gyönyörű hét év volt. A férjemmel rengeteget kirándultunk. Olaszországot úgy végigjártuk, hogy a fejétől a talpáig alig van hely, ahol én ne jártam volna. Mire hazajöttünk, éppen bekövetkezett a rendszerváltás.

Amikor hazajöttünk Rómából, egy kft.-ét alapítottunk a férjemmel. Néhány olasz barátunk ugyanis azt mondta, nagyon jó lenne, ha valaki képviselné őket Magyarországon, ott most olyan fölfordulás van gazdaságilag, azt se tudják, hova menjenek, hová forduljanak. Ez a kis kft. megalakult, de mire a Cégbíróságról kijöttek a papírok, addigra a férjem meghalt, úgyhogy egyedül maradtam, de ment a dolog. Volt jó néhány cég, olasz, angol, spanyol textilesek, amelyeket Magyarországon képviseltem. Ez nagyon sok munkát adott. Én voltam a gépírónőtől kezdve az igazgatóig minden, és rengeteget utaztam, tárgyaltam, jöttem-mentem. Elég jól is mentek az üzleti ügyek. Ennek tulajdonképpen az vetett véget, hogy nem tudnék már naponta tíz-tizenkét órát dolgozni, mint amennyit dolgoztam nyolc-tíz éven keresztül. Ez két dolog miatt is jó volt. Az egyik, hogy anyagilag kellett. Másrészt a férjem elég váratlanul, egy hét alatt meghalt, és azt, hogy én így talpon tudtam maradni, ennek köszönhetem. Én ebbe a munkába menekültem. Ezekben az években hagyjuk, hogy mit csináltam a szabadidőmben. Semmit. Boldog voltam, ha alhattam és pihenhettem. És most két éve nincs, de korábban volt kutyám. Nagyon szeretem az állatokat, és a kutyákat különösen, és azért az elég sok időt elvett, bár nagyon jó volt, mert muszáj volt velük sétálni. Volt kis kutyám meg nagy testű is, főleg megmentett kutyák.

Volt jó néhány baráti házaspár, akikkel nagyon szívesen jöttünk össze. De nagyon kevés maradt, akikkel még most is szívesen találkozom. Valójában azért járok kevesebbel össze, mert nagyon visszavonultam, amióta a férjem meghalt. Úgy gondoltam, hogyha összejövünk is, hárman vagy öten vagy heten vagyunk. és nem akartam soha senkinek se a terhére lenni. De azért a régi barátságok megmaradtak. Az egyik baráti házaspárt, akiket nagyon szeretek és nem zsidók, körülbelül negyvenkét éve ismerem. Egy házban laktunk valaha, és onnét datálódik az ismeretségünk, egymás mellett van a nyaralónk is. Velük soha nem politizálok, hanem ezer más dologról nagyon jól elbeszélgetünk, Balatonról, gyerekekről, erről, arról.   Sajnos az egyik legjobb barátnőm két éve meghalt, de a férje él, vele néha találkozom.

Imádok olvasni. Két-három regényt olvasok egyszerre. Nagyon szeretek kiállításokra járni, nagyon-nagyon szeretem a zenét, de bevallom, hogy rég voltam az operában. Valahogy ahhoz úgy neki kell készülődni, föl kell öltözködni, meg kell venni a jegyet. Nagyritkán megyek színházba, bár valaha az egyik fő örömöm volt. Nagyon szeretek moziba járni. Ki szoktam venni videót vagy DVD-ét, és itthon megnézni.

Nagyon sokat vagyok együtt a gyerekeimmel. Nincs hét, hogy akár a nagylányommal vagy a kisebbikkel ne lennénk együtt. El szoktunk menni egy-egy jelesebb alkalommal vagy csak úgy étterembe ebédelni, és nagyokat dumálunk.

Mire idősebb lettem, addigra kezdett el érdekelni a közélet meg a politika. Ez ma az életemnek egy jelentős részét tölti ki. Talán többet is foglalkozom vele, mint kellene. 1989-ben Rómában voltunk, úgyhogy a rendszerváltást egy kicsit kívülállóként éltem meg. Úgy éreztük a férjemmel, hogy nagyon sok értelmiségi, aki ennek az egésznek a motorja volt, és akiknek nagy részét az ember tényleg nagyon tisztelte, felhőtlenül gyönyörűnek látja azt, hogy most egy rendszer összeomlott, és egy másik virágozni fog pillanatokon belül. Én is azt gondoltam, de a férjem is, hogy érdekes, itt senki nem mondja el, hogy ennek nagyon nagy ára lesz.

Megvallom őszintén, hogy úgy gondolom, nagyon rossz rendszer a kapitalizmus, de nem találtak jobbat ki eddig. Nem tudom, hogy a kapitalizmus hova fog vezetni, mikor fog megbukni, mert én úgy érzem, hogy emberileg megbukott az egyre élesedő, borzalmas különbség miatt, ami egy országon belül van emberek között, a lehetőségeik, az esélyeik között, vagy ami egyes országok között van. Magyarországon nem feltétlenül kellett volna ilyen élesen ebbe az irányba eltolódnia mindennek. Kialakulhatott volna Magyarországon egy olyan jellegű konzervatív jobboldal, mint amilyen Németországban vagy Franciaországban van. Most számomra egy pártnak, egy újságnak vagy egy mozgalomnak a megítélésénél a legfontosabb szempont az, hogy ez most fasiszta-e vagy sem, antiszemita-e vagy sem. Ha úgy gondolom, hogy X. Y. egy antiszemita, akkor én azzal már nem beszélek. Nekem ezen nincs mit megvitatni, ezeket érvekkel meggyőzni úgysem lehet.

Úgy gondolom, hogy amin az ember keresztülment, az elég sok volt ahhoz, hogy ne kelljen ezt megint előlről kezdeni. Így egész más lett a kapcsolatom az elmúlt tizenöt év alatt a saját származásomhoz. A népszámláláskor kitöltöttem a vallással kapcsolatos rovatot, és azt mondtam, hogy zsidó vagyok [Az interjúalany a 2001. évi népszámlálásra gondol, ahol opcionálisan meg lehetett jelölni a vallást. – A szerk.]. Bár megmondtam szegény összeírónak, hogy a legszívesebben azt mondanám, hogy ehhez semmi köze. De mivel tudom, hogy ezzel trükközni akarnak, ezért azt mondom, hogy zsidó vagyok. A végén kiderült, hogy ennek alapján óhajtják a különböző egyházakat támogatni.

Apám és anyám családja – apámat kivéve – mind a Kozma utcai zsidó temetőben lett eltemetve, zsidó szertartás szerint. Amikor édesapám 1980-ban meghalt, a második felesége azt mondta, hogy ők úgy beszélték meg, hogy az aput hamvasszák el. Ez így is lett. De 1980-ban a zsidó temetőbe nem fogadtak be hamvasztottat, így hát ő a zsidó temető melletti  Kozma utcai temetőben  nyugszik, hogy azért mégis közel legyen [A rabbinikus jog (háláhá) tiltja a halottak hamvasztását, mivel a holtak feltámadásába vetett hit tagadásának tekintik. A test végső nyugalomba helyezésének megfelelő módja a megszentelt földbe történő temetés. A reform judaizmus azonban engedélyezi. Lásd még: temetés. – A szerk.]. Édesanyám 1982-ben halt meg, ő is azt akarta, hogy elhamvasszák. Akkor már a zsidó temetőbe befogadták, de nem lehetett szertartása, amit nagyon sajnálok, mert ő biztosan szerette volna. A férjem a Farkasréti temetőben van eltemetve, mert úgy gondoltuk Tamara lányommal, hogy az apu nem szeretne vallási szertartást. De ma már ebben nem vagyok biztos. De hát ő már ott van, és egy „dupla ágyat” vettem, mert ott van mellette a helyem, hogyha erre majd sor kerül. Elviccelem ezeket a komoly dolgokat, de jobb egy kis humorral közelíteni a halálhoz, meg az élethez, mert különben az egész nagyon nehéz lenne.

Neufeld György

Életrajz

Neufeld György 2003 tavaszán halt meg. Egyedül élt az utóbbi években, egyetlen élő hozzátartozója, a fia, aki rendszeresen telefonált neki Kanadából.

Az apai nagyapámnak, Neufeld Jakabnak volt egy kis falusi vegyeskereskedése Bonchidán. Falusi dolgok, ipari cikkek: kasza, kapa, ostor, lóhám, szegek voltak a boltjában. Patkószegtől pipadohányig mindent lehetett ott kapni, kivéve élelmiszert. A bolt hátánál volt a lakás, tehát a bolt hátuljából lehetett bemenni. Nemcsak az ünnepeken, hanem minden reggel és este elment a templomba, ilyenkor be volt csukva a bolt. Minden vallási szabályt megtartottak, kimondottan vallásos ház volt. A bonchidai életéről nagyon keveset tudok, mert csak egy párszor egy-két napra mentünk el oda. Volt egy kis földje, úgy tudom, amit másokkal műveltetett meg. A nagymama nagyon korán meghalt, én lehettem úgy 10-12 éves, úgyhogy én annyit tudok róla, hogy Nagymama, még a nevét sem tudom. Kétszer volt férjnél, az első férje meghalt, Rosmannak hívták, két gyermeke volt tőle: Samu és Hanna, és akkor férjhez ment a nagyapához, s úgy lett aztán még három gyerek. Csak fényképről emlékszem rá, jóságos, mosolygós arca volt.

Amikor a nagyapám özvegy maradt, és beköltözött Bonchidáról Kolozsvárra, már nem dolgozott. Lehettem akkor olyan 13-14 éves. Elég idős korában, az 1920-as évek végén elhatározta, hogy ő elmegy Palesztinába megnézni a szent helyeket. Édesapám nem szívesen engedte el, de ő ragaszkodott hozzá, hogy még életében akarja látni a Siratófalat, és tényleg elment, hajóval. Amikor hazajött, nem sokat mesélt. A II. világháború előtt még nem létezett Izrael mint állam, hanem angol fennhatóság alatt levő terület volt, a kibucok legtöbbje, amelyek akkor épültek, vallástalan volt. Én gyerekként érzelmileg már kötődtem a cionizmushoz, anélkül, hogy tudtam volna pontosan, hogy mi az. Meg akartam előzni, hogy a nagyapám panaszkodjon arra, hogy mennyire vallástalanok az ottani fiatalok. Feltettem neki azt a kérdést gyermekként, hogy ugye elég nem szép, hogy azok szombaton futballoznak, s a nagyapa rám nézett, és azt mondta: „Hát mikor futballozzanak, ha vasárnap dolgoznak?” Ő, a vallásos ember elfogadta ezt, pedig szombaton nem szabad futballozni. Egy másik elbeszélésére emlékszem, hogy Izraelben bement egy vendéglőbe, és a pincér mutatta, hogy annál az asztalnál ül egy rabbi. A rabbi kalap nélkül volt és evett. A nagyapa azt mondja: „Én nem voltam rest, odamentem hozzá, bemutatkoztam és megkérdeztem, hát hogy lehet, hogy rabbi létére kalap nélkül eszik.” A rabbi neki azt válaszolta, hogy a Jóisten elrendelte, hogy mi kalappal járjunk, és kalappal étkezzünk azért, hogy meg lehessen különböztetni egy zsidót egy nem zsidótól. Itt viszont csak zsidók vannak, úgyhogy nem kell ilyen megkülönböztető jel. Erre a két meséjére emlékszem. Egyébként ő nagyon hallgatag, szűkszavú ember volt.

Amikor már Kolozsváron lakott a nagyapa, egyedül csak nálunk evett, szombaton és kivétel nélkül minden zsidó ünnepen nálunk volt. Az ő kedvéért mi nagyon-nagyon vigyáztunk a kóserségre. Például házon kívül a szüleim és én is megettük a sonkát, de a házban nem létezett, a nagyapám kedvéért. Ha nem tartottuk volna meg ezt a tradíciót, a nagyapám soha nem jött volna hozzánk étkezni. A vallási körök divatban voltak a világháború előtt. Az ortodox templomoknak volt egy előcsarnoka, ahol összegyűltek a vallásos emberek, felolvastak egy részt a Bibliából, és magyarázták egymásnak, hogy ki hogy értelmezi. Ezekről csak hallomásból tudok, de azt hiszem, néha a nagyapa elment oda. Kis körszakállat hordott a nagyapám, de kimondott pájesza nem volt. Én nagyon, nagyon szerettem őt. Később is, amikor csak lehetett, és nem volt pont órám az egyetemen, péntek este elmentem érte a templomba, ott ültem mellette az istentisztelet végéig, majd karonfogva hazamentünk, együtt vacsoráztunk, majd hazakísértem. Nem messze tőlünk, egy kis garzonlakásban lakott, a második emeleten. Amikor már öreg lett, nehéz volt neki az emeleteket mászkálni, úgyhogy minden nap felküldött az édesanyám egy adagot abból az ebédből, amit mi is ettünk. Öregkorára megvakult. Úgy úszta meg a deportálást is, hogy plakátok voltak kitéve, hogy a zsidók melyik utcából hol kell jelentkezzenek, ő azonban nem járt ki, és nem tudott róla. A szomszédjai pedig nem jelentették fel, ami nagy ritkaság volt. Így a deportáláskor őt a szó szoros értelmében ottfelejtették.

Három fia volt nagyapámnak, az apám volt a középső. A nagyobbik fia, Mihály ügyvéd volt, de amikor Erdély román fennhatóság alá került [lásd: trianoni békeszerződés], nem volt hajlandó felesküdni a román törvényekre 1918-ban, inkább egy román-belga kis textilgyár igazgatója lett, abbahagyva az ügyvédi pályát. [A trianoni döntés utáni első években az erdélyi magyarság ideiglenes helyzetként fogta fel Erdély Romániához csatolását, a háborús káosznak tudva be azt. Ezzel magyarázható, hogy a magyar hivatalnokok nagy része nem volt hajlandó felesküdni a román alkotmányra, annak ellenére, hogy ez állásuk elvesztését jelentette. – A szerk.] A kisebbik, Mózes kereskedő volt, nagybani fakereskedéssel foglalkozott, mivel Kolozsváron fával fűtöttek abban az időben. A fát az erdészeti hivataltól szerezte be, és eladta télire tüzelőnek. Édesapám, Jenő orvos volt. Édesapám és a testvérei között jó testvéri kapcsolat volt, de a másik két testvér nem volt vallásos. Az én szüleim tartották a vallást, a nagyapa miatt. Nem túlságosan szigorúan, de a háztartás kóser volt.

1944 áprilisában, amikor a szüleimet deportálták, megjelent a nagyapánál Bella, Mózes keresztény felesége. (Mózes elvált az első, zsidó feleségétől, akitől volt egy gyermeke, Márta-Ágnes.) Bár a háború előtt ki volt tagadva a családból Bella [lásd: vegyes házasság], és létezése titokban volt tartva a nagyapa előtt, most minden nap vitt fel ennivalót neki, megmosdatta, gondoskodott róla egészen addig, amíg az édesapám 1945-ben hazakerült a deportálásból, és átvette Bellától ezt a feladatot. Azontúl mindig csak úgy beszélt a nagyapám róla, hogy „Bella lányom”. Abban a házban, ahol a nagyapa lakott, egy jó ismerősünknek volt egy textilüzlete. Főleg Mózes volt jóban az üzlet tulajdonosával, gyakran járt ott, Bella pedig ott dolgozott, így ismerkedhettek meg. Én akkor ismertem meg Bellát, amikor hazakerültem 1946-ban, a férje azonban nem került haza. A deportálásokkor Bella próbálta menteni a férjét, de sikertelenül.

Édesapám Bonchidán született 1889-ben, de Kolozsvárra került, ahol elvégezte az orvosi egyetemet. Belgyógyász volt a klinikán, de magánrendelője is volt, és ha kellett, akár házhoz is ment. Az első világháborúban mint katonaorvos olasz fogságba került, ekkor a nagyapámék elvitték édesanyámat és engem Kolozsvárról Bonchidára, persze a kolozsvári lakást megtartották, úgyhogy egy- vagy másfél éves koromig Bonchidán voltam, s azután mentünk át Ilondára édesanyám nővéréhez, egészen addig, amíg édesapám a fogságból hazakerült. Édesanyám mesélte, hogy óriási vita volt nagyapa és Mina, az ilondai nagynéném között, aki ragaszkodott ahhoz, hogy menjünk hozzá, amíg apám fogságban volt. A nagyapám pedig azzal érvelt, hogy a fia azt mondta, hogy amíg a háborúban lesz, addig ő vigyázzon ránk. Hát vigyáz ránk, de csak úgy tud, ha mi ott vagyunk nála.

Az édesapám Isonzónál volt fogságban [lásd: isonzói harcok]. Ez alatt az idő alatt kimondottan jó dolga volt. Szabadon járkált a városban, bár nem volt szabad elhagynia a várost. A Vöröskereszten keresztül ritkán, de tudott levelezni az édesanyámmal. Mikor fogságba került, az édesanyám kapott egy táviratot a Vöröskereszt révén: „Egészségben, de fogságban vagyok.” Két és fél, három évig volt fogságban, én három éves voltam, amikor hazajött.

Egy orvos kollégájával együtt jött haza Pesten keresztül, ahol éppen akkor tört ki a kommün. Édesapám jól ismerte Kun Bélát, aki vele együtt, egy évvel feljebb járt az Unitárius Gimnáziumba Kolozsváron. Pestről nem lehetett elutazni, csak hatósági engedéllyel, azt pedig nem lehetett kapni. Az édesapám valahogyan bejutott Kun Bélához, a magyarországi kommün vezetőjéhez, és kérte, hogy adjon neki engedélyt. Egyetlen vonat indult még Románia felé. Kun Béla mindenképpen rá akarta beszélni az édesapámat, hogy maradjon ott, kap egy jó állást az egészségügyi minisztériumtól, de az apám nem akart maradni, mondván, hogy neki családja van, és haza akar kerülni. Végül megkapta az engedélyt, és az orvos kollégájával együtt elindultak, de a [nagy]váradi útvonalon nem lehetett jönni, így Temesvár fele jöttek. Déván volt akkor a román–magyar határ. A románok lefogták őket. Elmondták, hogy hadifogságból jönnek, talán volt náluk valami írás is. Kérdezték, hogy merről jöttek. Apám sejtette valahogy, hogy nem kell megmondani, hogy Pesten keresztül jöttek, és azt mondta, hogy Trieszten keresztül. A kollégája azonban erősítette, hogy Pesten keresztül jöttek. Erre a románok úgy vették, hogy azért voltak Pesten, hogy tanulmányozzák a kommunizmust, és letartóztatták őket. Apámnak volt Déván egy ügyvéd jó barátja, évtársa, dr. Szegő. Egy teli hátizsák csokoládét, konzervet meg ilyesmit hozott haza Olaszországból, és minden nap adott egy-egy tábla csokoládét vagy egy konzervet valamelyik őrnek vagy takarítónőnek és egy pár sort, hogy juttassák el dr. Szegőnek, hogy az értesítse a családját, hogy ő be van zárva. Soha egyik sem adta át a levelet. Egyszer dr. Szegő az utcán meglátott egy papírt, rajta a saját nevével, az egyik levél volt. Így értesítette a családot Kolozsváron, az édesanyám az apjával leutazott oda, és kihozták az apámat a börtönből.

A második világháborúkor egy csoda folytán az édesapám megmaradt, Auschwitzból elvitték Dachauba, ott szabadították fel az amerikai csapatok. Kiszabadulása után annyira le volt gyengülve, hogy bekerült egy amerikai katonai kórházba, és hat hónapig ott tartották. Csak azután engedték meg, hogy hazajöjjön. Rá vagy két-három évre behívták a Securitatéhoz azzal az ürüggyel, hogy a hat hónap alatt, ameddig a katonakórházban feküdt, az amerikaiak kiképezték kémnek. Szegény apám nap nap után, hat hétig majdnem minden nap kellett jelentkezzen a Securitatén újabb és újabb kihallgatásokra, azután békén hagyták. A sors iróniája, hogy miután hat hétig lelkileg valósággal kínozták, rá két hétre kinevezték a kolozsvári poliklinika igazgató-főorvosának. Az egyik hatóság nem tudott a másikról ezek szerint.

Édesanyám apja, Wertheimer Sámson zsidó volt. Felesége, Ida, bözödújfalusi, székely eredetű, szombatista vonalon [lásd: szombatosok]. Ida apja Farkas Gergely volt. Fiatalon halt meg Ida, 1902-ben. Az édesapja [az anyai nagyapa] Marosvásárhelyről Kolozsvárra került. Két fiútestvére, Vilmos és Miksa is Kolozsvárra került. Vilmos fűszerkereskedő volt, egy nagyon vallásos ember. A Széchenyi téren laktak, fenn az emeleten, lenn a földszinten volt az üzlet. Egy nagy üzlet volt, Kolozsvár egyik legnagyobb fűszerüzlete. Szombaton zárva volt, és vasárnap is, hivatalból. Ezek a zsidó üzletek, ahol tartották a vallást, azok két napot voltak zárva. Miksának volt egy szeszgyára. A kertes földszintes lakása egy kerítéssel volt elválasztva a gyártól. Ő volt a gyárnak a tulajdonosa, ő igazgatta a munkát. A szeszgyárból maradt nagyon sok moslék, úgyhogy neki volt egy istállója is, ahol volt hat-nyolc tehén, ami a szeszgyár maradékából lett fenntartva. Nagyapámnak egy en gros és en detail lisztüzlete volt a Deák Ferenc utcában. Itt élt a második feleségével, Hausmann Pepkával. Kizárólag csak lisztet árult. Lenn volt a bolt, különböző minőségű lisztekkel, fenn az emeleten pedig egy nagy lakás. Az édesanyám és Mina néni – az első házasságából lévő gyerekek – külön hálószobája mellett volt egy másik szoba, ott lakott a másik három gyerek – a második házasságából valók. Miután az édesanyám és Mina néni is elkerült a házból, az ő szobájukba költöztek be a gyerekek. Miután a nagyapám meghalt, ez a Pepka nagyanyám vezette tovább az üzletet. Nagyon ügyes, okos, talpraesett asszony volt.

Az édesanyám nővére, Mina néni, Ilondán élt, oda ment férjhez Jeremiás Ignáchoz. A férje családjában tizennyolcan voltak testvérek, Ignác szülei Dés mellett egy Kapjon nevezetű kis településen éltek, a tizennyolc testvér aztán szétszéledt a világban.

A másik három gyerek közül, Erzsébet (Böske néni) Tordára ment férjhez egy ügyvédhez. A férje meghalt még a háború előtt, ő pedig a háború, a deportálás után beköltözött Kolozsvárra, ahol a szülei éltek. Mert Tordán volt férjnél, így nem deportálták, mivel Torda Romániához tartozott abban az időben. [lásd: zsidók Észak-és Dél-Erdélyben] Volt egy fia, aki megházasodott és kiment Pestre.

Ilondán sokat éltem, egész 16-17 éves koromig minden vakációt ott töltöttem, életem legszebb emlékei. Lenn, a falu úgynevezett civilizáltabb részén körülbelül egyforma arányszámban laktak románok, magyarok és zsidók, a patak mentén felfele pedig román parasztházak voltak. Körülbelül 4-5 kilométer hosszú volt a falu. A központban téglaházak voltak. A falunak volt egy kis temploma, ahova körülbelül hetven-kilencven ember fért, tehát körülbelül huszonöt-harminc zsidó család lehetett, ugyanennyi magyar és valamivel kevesebb román. Az ilondaiak második szüleim voltak. A nagybátyám jómódú kereskedő volt, nagybani kereskedelemmel foglalkozott. Nagyilondán hetente egyszer, csütörtökön volt a heti vásár, s minden hónapban volt egy nagy vásár, akkor jöttek már a szomszéd megyéből is. A nagybátyám házának volt egy óriási udvara, ami deszka-, cserép- és téglaraktár volt. Olyankor a nagykapu nyitva volt, s a parasztok jöttek be szekérrel, vettek deszkát, cserepet, ami kellett nekik. Nagybátyámnak ez volt a foglalkozása. A faluban óriási presztízse volt, köztiszteletben állt.

Vallásos volt, megtartotta az ünnepeket, de olyan hangulatos légkört teremtett. Például amikor a Neufeld nagyapám péntek este nálunk vacsorázott Kolozsváron, volt egy kis ima, amit ő monoton hangon héberül elmondott, utána leültek vacsorázni. Ilondán nem így történt, énekelt a nagybátyám. Szép, fess ember, nagyon szép bariton hangja volt. Az imát énekeléssel mondta el, nekünk, gyerekeknek pedig vele kellett énekelnünk, közben pedig ránk szólt, hogy „Te falcsul énekelsz, hallgass inkább!”. Hangulatos, bohém ember volt. Foglalkozott a gyerekekkel. A sátoros ünnepen, amikor a dióérés van, a gyerekek dióztak, s beállt ő is közénk a játékba. Ez a játék abban állt, hogy a diószemeket felsorakoztatták egy sorban, és bizonyos távolságról a gyerekek egy-egy nagyobb, kerekebb, kevésbé ráncos dióval megcélozták ezt a sort, és ki amennyit leszakított, annyi diót nyert. Olyan természetes volt, hogy Náci bácsi nyakában mindig volt három-négy gyerek. A tizennyolc testvér harminchat gyereke közül tíz-tizenöt mindig Ilondán volt vakációkban.

Szombaton, kimenetelkor mi, gyerekek néztük az eget, és aki először vette észre a három csillagot, az berohant a házba. [A három csillag feljövetele jelentette a szombat kimenetelét. – A szerk.] Lett ott egy kis veszekedés, hogy „Nem te láttad meg, mert én láttam meg hamarabb”, de nem volt komoly veszekedés. A nagybátyám pedig jó hangulatot teremtett a gyerekek között, a végén kibékítette őket, és kaptak cukorkát vagy csokoládét. Mikor a gyerekek bejelentették, hogy megjelent a három csillag, mindig volt egy kis szertartás. Meggyújtottak egy lapos, színes fonott gyertyát, a nagybátyám elénekelt egy imát, és a meggyújtott gyertyával, énekelve végigjárta a házat kígyózó vonalakban, mi, gyerekek pedig felsorakozva mentünk a háta mögött. [A havdala szertartásáról van szó – ez a szertartás arra szolgál, hogy a szombatot elválassza a hétköznapoktól (áldást mondanak a borra, és elmondanak egy külön áldást is). – A szerk.] Ilyenkor is viccelt, például megfordult és nekiment a sornak, vagy ahogy ment, félbeszakította a sort.

Emlékszem két nagyon érdekes széderesti jelenetre. Hatalmas szobájuk volt, ahova terítettek, az asztalnál mindig ült hat-hét felnőtt és legalább tíz-tizenöt gyerek, ha nem több. Aki a szédert vezeti, annak a baloldalán kell legyen két párna. Előzőleg van egy ima, amit az én Neufeld nagyapám elmondott egy fél óra alatt, de a Náci bácsinál ez tartott két-három órát, mert énekelve, viccelődve mondta. A vacsora előtt egy pászkadarabot becsomagoltak egy szalvétába, a szalvétát ő betette a két párna közé, ezt héberül úgy hívták, hogy afikomen. A vacsora végén kellett egy kis imát mondani, ő elővette az áfikoment, és mindenkinek adott ebből a kettétört pászkadarabból. Azt egy kis ima, áldás keretében meg kellett enni. A nagyapámnál a széder másfél-két óra alatt lement, Náci bácsinál reggelig tartott. Hagyomány volt, hogy az áfikoment az egyik gyerek ellopta. Vacsora után Náci bácsi kereste, és akkor kezdődött az alkudozás, mert anélkül nem lehet folytatni a szédert. Amikor ellopták, a nagybátyám tette magát, hogy nem veszi észre. Az első gyerektől ellopta egy másik, attól egy harmadik, a negyedik csinált egy hamis áfikoment, ugyanolyan szalvétába becsomagolt egy ugyanolyan pászkát. Úgyhogy a végén négy vagy öt áfikomen volt, de a nagybátyám megjegyezte, hogy melyik az eredeti. Az alkudozás mind az öttel eltartott legalább egy órát, viccelődve, de a végén csak az egyik volt az igazi. A vacsora után van egy ima: megtöltenek egy poharat színültig borral, és kinyitják az ajtókat, hogy Élijáhú próféta bejöhessen és megkóstolja a bort és megint elmenjen. Egy kis áldást kellett erre mondani. Az egyik húsvétkor, erre tisztán emlékszem, lehettem olyan 9-10 éves, borzalmas eső volt kint, felhőszakadás, és amikor kinyitották az ajtókat, egyszer csak megállt az ajtóban egy bőrig ázott, csapzott, szakállas, kalapos ember. A nők elkezdtek visítozni, a gyerekek megijedtek. Egy zsidó vándor koldus volt. A nagybátyám rögtön rájött, hogy ki az az ember, felállt, odament hozzá, és jiddisül megkérdezte tőle, hogy zsidó vándor koldus-e. Odavitte az asztalhoz, hoztak neki is egy terítéket, száraz ruhát, leültették és velünk vacsorázott.

A két háború között elég sok zsidó vándor koldus volt. Máramarosban van egy Borsa nevezetű falu. Ez egy elég nagy kiterjedésű, tiszta zsidó falu volt. Száz százalékban csak zsidók lakták, ott egyetlen magyar vagy román nem élt. És nem tudnám pontosan megmondani melyik évben, de lehetett olyan 1934–1936 körül, a legionáriusok, a vasgárdisták felgyújtották. Egyszerre lobbant fel a tűz vagy tíz helyen. S azok a máramarosi házak mind faházak voltak. Úgyhogy a borsai zsidóság azzal az inggel és nadrággal maradt, amiben kifutottak az égő házból. És ezek aztán elárasztották Erdélyt koldulással. A legtöbbje az ilyen koldusembereknek borsai volt. Faluról falura jártak, minden faluban két-három napig ellátták őket, aztán mentek tovább. A nagybátyám minden pénteken este, mikor jött haza a templomból, hozott magával két-három koldust vacsorára. Az asztalnál ő ült az asztalfőn, körülötte ültek a felnőttek, s aztán jöttek a gyerekek az asztal második felében. Az egyik oldalon voltak a férfiak és a másik oldalon a nők. Ezeket a koldusokat mindig odaültette a férfiak közé. Szombaton csak az étkezést töltötték együtt, délelőtt a vándor zsidók elmentek a templomba. Mindig nagy tisztelettel beszélt velük Náci bácsi. Nem emlékszem rá, hogy nő koldus lett volna. Volt még egy háza a nagybátyámnak, egy kis falusi vendéglő, fölötte pedig egy kis szoba, ide helyezte a koldusokat, akiket hazahozott vacsorára péntek este. A vendéglőt kiadta használatba egy özvegy húgának vagy nővérének, Ibi néninek, akinek volt két lánya.

A nagybátyám jóban volt a faluban a csendőrökkel, a polgármesterrel, mindenkivel, mindenki tisztelte és becsülte. Zsidóknál nem szabad ünnepnapon utazni sem kocsival, sem szekérrel. Egyszer széder közben beállított egy ilondai zsidó, hogy a testvérét a szomszéd faluból a csendőrök letartóztatták, és kérte Náci bácsit, hogy próbálja meg ő kiváltani. Annak idején a csendőrség borzasztó korrupt volt, letartóztattak embereket csak azért, hogy pénzt csaljanak ki tőlük. A nagybátyám abbahagyta a szédert, és bejelentette, hogy sokkal nagyobb micvá, jócselekedet egy embert kivenni a csendőrök kezéből, mint a szédert folytatni, úgyhogy bocsássanak meg neki, egy óra múlva majd visszajön. Felült a szekérre, ami nem volt szabad, elment a szomszéd faluba, lefizette a csendőröket, kivette az embert, visszajött és folytatta a szédert, mintha mi sem történt volna.

Az édesanyám szülei nem engedték, hogy édesanyámék összeházasodjanak, mielőtt az édesapám le nem katonáskodik. Befejezte az egyetemet, lekatonáskodott s azután rögtön, 1913-ban házasodtak, és körülbelül fél évre rá apámat ismét behívták katonának. Amikor megszületettem, véletlenül éppen otthon volt szabadságon, utána megint kiment a frontra, és fogságba esett. Amikor hazakerült, akkor én már három éves voltam, és megkérdeztem, hogy „Ki ez az ember?”. Édesanyám nem járt mikvébe. Volt egy hálószobájuk két külön ággyal, de szorosan egymás mellett, akkor az volt a divat. Minden zsidó házban így volt. Fejkendőt csak akkor hordott, ha a templomba ment, parókát egyáltalán nem hordott. Gyermekkoromban, még emlékszem, kontyot hordott, aztán később levágatta a haját. Eltérően édesapámtól, ő közvetlenebb, beszédesebb, általában jó kedélyű volt. Háziasszony volt. Nagyon sok szociális, társadalmi munkában vett részt.

Kolozsváron volt egy zsidó árvaház vagy inkább napközi otthon körülbelül 150–200 gyerekkel. Valójában kevés volt köztük az árva, inkább szegénygyerekek voltak. Az édesanyám a nőegyletnek, amelyik fenntartotta a napközi otthont, volt az alelnöknője évekig. Még emlékszem, hogy amikor a kolozsvári zsidó kórházat felépítették és kezdték berendezni, akkor ott beállítottak vagy tíz-tizenkét szobába varrógépeket, és varrónők szabták és varrták a kórház részére a párnákat, párnahuzatokat, lepedőket. Édesanyám ott felügyelt, és adta ki a munkát nekik. Még ő szervezte meg a zsidó cionista női világszervezet kolozsvári fiókját, WIZO-nak hívták. Nagyon gyakran összejött Moshe Carmillyvel, [lásd: Moshe Weinberger-Carmilly] aki mint főrabbi szintén foglalkozott ezekkel a zsidó szervezetekkel. Az árvaházat a nőegylet tartotta fenn. Az anyagiakat adományokból biztosították. Labdaszerű [mint egy labdajáték, mindenkit bevonni akaró] teadélutánokat rendeztek, amelyeken kellett fizetni. Például édesanyám meghívta öt nőismerősét, és mindenki kellett fizessen egy előre meghatározott, nem komoly összeget, és egy-két órát beszélgettek. Az öt meghívott pedig köteles volt még öt-öt személyt hívni, akik szintén fizettek. Az volt az elv, hogy a következő öt meghívott sohase legyen olyan személy, akinél már voltak, hanem terjedjen ki az egész város zsidóságára. Csak a kimondottan nagyon szegény rétegeket hagyták ki, azokat segélyezték az összegyűlt pénzből. A férfiak hitközségi adót fizettek, nekik nem volt külön férfi szervezetük. Nagy része a nőknek nem járt olyan gyakran a zsinagógába, csak a kimondott ünnepnapokon, mint például az édesanyám is. Csak a nagyon vallásos nők jártak szombaton is.

Kolozsváron volt négy zsinagóga és tíz-tizenkét imaház. A kolozsvári zsidóság egy része szegény volt, ott kultúráról nem beszélhetünk. De a polgári rétegnél majdnem minden házban volt könyvtár, amit olvastak is, nemcsak dísznek volt. Jártak a színházba is. Ritkán játszottak jiddis darabokat. Voltak jiddis vándortársulatok. [lásd: jiddis vándortársulatok] Ritkán, egyszer-kétszer egy évben jöttek csak Kolozsvárra, egy-két-három előadást tartottak, és mentek tovább. Mindig telt ház volt. Amire emlékszem, hogy volt egy nagyon híres, holland eredetű nívós zsidó társulat, amelyik kis darabokat, vidám zenés, énekes burleszkjeleneteket adott elő. Kék Madár, Blauw Vogel volt a nevük. Nagyon-nagyon divatos, hangulatos éneket honosítottak meg akkoriban itt Kolozsváron. Voltak komoly kisjeleneteik is, nagyon komolyak – engem is mint gyereket elvittek, de nem sokat értettem a komoly részéből.

Én az első négy elemit egy zsidó elemibe jártam. A zsidó gimnáziumot 1927-ben tiltották be a román hatóságok, és a törvény az volt, hogy magyar iskolába zsidó gyerek nem járhatott, csak román iskolába. Ezután román iskolába kerültem, harmadik gimnáziumba. Majd bekerültem az úgynevezett Seminarul Pedagogic Universitarba, az egyetemnek egy gyakorló iskolájába. Egyedül voltam zsidó, huszonegyen voltunk, volt még egy magyar fiú s a többi román volt. Előkelő iskola volt, a román társadalom elit rétege ide járt.

Harmadéves medikus voltam, amikor 1936. december 25-én, megismerkedtem a feleségemmel. Ő elsőéves angol szakos volt. Raáb Ágnesnek hívták, aradi volt. A Szent Egyház utca elején jobbra, ahol most kiállítások szoktak lenni, ott régen volt egy táncos kávéházféle, Cristal Pallas volt a neve. Ott ismerkedtünk meg a feleségemmel, egy szombati táncdélutánon. A kávéház tulajdonosa zsidó volt, és szombat délután ott összegyűltünk, a zsidó diákoknak egy része. Mi, zsidó diákok is két óriási csoportban voltunk, akik majdnem ellenségei voltunk egymásnak. Volt a kommunista szimpatizáns csoport, s volt a cionista csoport. A kommunista csoportban volt vagy két-három ember, aki tényleg komolyan illegalista volt, a többi pedig csak ilyen szalonkommunista. A cionizmusnál komolyabb volt a dolog, Kolozsváron volt négy vagy öt cionista ifjúsági szervezet, különböző politikai színezettel. Volt a Hasomér Hacair, az egészen baloldali volt. Akkor volt a Hanoár Hacioni [lásd: Hanoár Hacioni Romániában] és a Barisia , az olyan polgári közép, és volt egy egészen jobboldali, a revizionista csoport [lásd: cionista revizionista irányzat]. És a kolozsvári zsidó ifjúságnak egy része, a cionista része, ebbe a négy különböző csoportba tartozott. Én egyikbe sem tartoztam. A cionisták tartottak gyűléseket, szemináriumokat, foglalkoztak a cionizmus történetével, és a politikai állásfoglalásuk alapján például a Hashomér Hácáir foglalkozott a baloldali irodalommal. Én cionistának tartottam magam, de csak egy olyan lelki közösség volt inkább, hogy Palesztina a mi hazánk, de én cionista irodalmat nem olvastam, egyéb irodalmat sem. Elvileg volt egy kitelepítési tendencia, de gyakorlatilag nem nagyon. Voltak ilyen chaluc-telepek – haluc az, aki ki akart vándorolni. Az beiratkozott egy ilyen haluc-telepre, odaköltözött és kitanulta a földművelést, s egy idő után kitelepítették Izraelbe [Akkor még: Palesztina. Izrael Állam 1948 májusában alakult meg. – A szerk.]. Kolozsvár környékén nem volt ilyen telep. A Regátban voltak és főleg Besszarábiában. Erdélyben nem tudom, hogy lettek volna.

A Haggibor Sportegyesületet 1922-ben alapították. Először csak futball csapat volt, aztán majdnem minden sportnak alakultak meg ágazatai. Volt atlétika tagozat, torna, boksz, vívás, futball, úszás, hegymászás, teniszezés és pingpong. Ezek komoly csoportok voltak. Például a futball csapat egyszer második helyet nyert az országos bajnokságon. A tagok mind zsidók voltak, de nem hiszem, hogy erre lett volna szabályzat, hanem ez így volt természetes. A magyaroknak is megvolt a KAC-uk, a Kolozsvári Atlétikai Egyesület, de ott is voltak zsidók.

Voltak olyan zsidó családok, amelyek teljesen elmagyarosodtak. Nem tagadták le a zsidó származásukat de teljesen elmagyarosodtak. Például, Bíró, a gyógyszerész volt a tulajdonosa a város legnagyobb gyógyszertárának. Három fia volt és mind a három Bíró fiú a KAC-ban vívott. Én a Haggiborban vívtam, de attól még barátok voltunk. Az elején, jóval a [II. világ]háború előtt, csak egy edző volt a városban, egy német, aki elmagyarosodott. Még a nevét is megmagyarosította Ozoraira. A Bíró testvérekkel és a KAC-osokkal edztünk, de az utolsó években volt már saját edzőnk is a Haggiborban, egy olasz edző. A zsidóknak kevés kapcsolatuk volt a románsággal. Kevesen voltak, akik csak egy sportágban aktiváltak. Én például, a hegymászó tagozat ifjúsági csoportjának voltam egyik vezetője. Én szerveztem meg a vasárnapi kirándulásokat. Ugyanakkor vívásban versenyeztem is.

Nekünk, medikusoknak megvolt otthon egy behívónk mozgósítás esetére már harmadéves korunktól anélkül, hogy az aktív katonaságot letettük volna. 1940-ben, a bécsi döntés előtt mozgósítás volt, be kellett vonuljak. Nagyvárad és Arad között, egy Horod nevezetű faluban volt az egységem, én minden szombaton és vasárnap átmentem Aradra Ágihoz. Amikor a bécsi döntés volt, véletlenül kaptam egy kéthetes szabadságot, s éppen itthon voltam, Kolozsváron, s akkor már nem mentem vissza. Mi nem fogtuk fel, hogy ez a bécsi döntés tulajdonképpen minket elválaszt egy határral. Úgy volt, hogy ősszel bevonulok katonának, kilenc hónap a katonaság, és utána összeházasodunk. És akkor tudtuk meg, hogy Magyarországon létezett egy zsidótörvény [lásd: zsidótörvények Magyarországon], amelynek értelmében házasság útján zsidó nem jöhetett át Magyarországra – Kolozsvár magyar fennhatóság alá került ismét –, tehát nem tudtunk összeházasodni. Még a levelezés is nagyon nehezen ment, mert dacára annak, hogy mind a két ország Németország mellett volt a háborúban, a két ország között borzasztó feszült volt a viszony. Öt levél közül négy elveszett, cenzúra volt, s a legkisebb gyanú miatt eldobták a levelet. Néha valószínűleg el sem olvasták, pedig vigyáztunk arra, hogy semmi olyasmit ne írjunk, amibe a cenzúra beleköt, még levélileg is alig tudtunk érintkezni egymással két évig. A határ a Kolozsvár–[Nagy]Várad országúttól délre, négy-öt kilométerre volt. A Feleki tetőnek a fele már Románia volt. Mi a Bükkbe már nem tudtunk menni kirándulni, mert az már határzóna volt. Itt volt a határ közvetlenül Kolozsvár mellett. Szóval alig tudtunk még levelezni is egymással. 1942-ben elvittek engem Ukrajnába, és akkor még édesanyám tartotta vele a kapcsolatot, vagy négy-öt levelet váltottak.

[Neufeld György papírra vetette munkaszolgálatos emlékeit, ennek egy töredéke így hangzik:]

 „1942 januárjában, mikor összeállították a 110/24-es zsidó munkaszolgálatos századot, odakerült egy 18-19 éves, kerek arcú, pájeszes gyerek, jiddisül beszélt, magyarul, románul keveset tudott. Máramarosi volt. Tiltakozott, hogy a pájeszét levágják, mikor megnyírtak minket, de aztán némán, összeszorított szájjal tűrte. Nem beszélt, csak ha kérdezték, némán végezte a kiadott munkát, minden reggel korábban kelt, és később feküdt le, mint a többi, bármennyire is kimerült volt, hogy elmondja a reggeli és az esti imát. És csak kósert evett, legtöbbször csak a szűk kenyéradagot és a konyháról könyörületben kapott, alkalmi tűzön sült krumplit. Már az első napokban ráragasztották a Rabbi nevet. Kevesen tudták az igazi nevét. A keretlegénység (az őrök), körülbelül tizenkét-tizennégy magyar katona is így szólította, természetesen gúnyos hangnemben. A században voltak, akik tisztelték, de nagyon kevesen, sokan bolondnak tartották, és voltak közömbösek is. És voltak, akik segítették, hogy megmentsen a többszöri kutatáson és motozáson egy imakönyvet. Szeptemberben már mélyen bent Ukrajnában a Rabbi nagyon lesoványodva nagy propagandába kezdett, hogy minjent, tíz embert szedjen össze a közeledő őszi ünnepekre. Nem sok jelentkezője akadt, hiszen mindenki mindig kimerült, éhes volt. Mégis sikerült neki majdnem a század felét összeverbuválni a Kol Nidréhez, a zsidók legszentebb imájához, a szállásunk, az istálló előtti udvarra. De aznap elhúzódott a munka, és mire a csoport összegyűlt, besötétedett. A mindennapi esti imát tudta a Rabbi kívülről, de a kol nidréhez kellett volna gyertya, hogy elolvassa. És gyertya nem volt, sem más világító eszköz. Már-már úgy nézett ki, hogy az ima elmarad, az emberek kezdtek visszavándorolni az istállóba, a szálláshelyünkre. A csendet azonban hatalmas robbanás verte fel. Repülőn bombázták a tőlünk 40–50 kilométerre lévő német benzintartályokat. És azok sorban robbantak. A lángok az égig csaptak fel, az égbolt nappali fényben úszott. A lángtenger keleti szélén egy lángcsóva különlegesen magas és karcsú volt, mint egy jom kipuri, hosszúnapi gyertya. Az istállóból a századunk minden tagja – akkor még majdnem mindenki élt – kicsődült a térre. A keretlegénység a kerítésen túlról, némán, megdöbbenve nézett minket. S akkor a robbanásoktól megszakított halálos csendben felcsendült a rabbi kristálytiszta hangja, a kol nidré, a zsidók legszentebb imája. Nem az ismert halk, félénk, remegő hang, hanem egy erőteljes, acélos, magabiztos hang volt. Imádkozott. Minden szó után szünetet tartott, hogy a század, mint egy ember, imádkozhasson utána. Senki sem mozdult el az ima végéig. Ettől kezdve a Rabbi presztízse megnőtt. A nevét tisztelettel kezdték kiejteni, a keretlegényekre is ráragadt az új hangsúly. A konyhások titokban bőséges kóser ételt juttattak neki, az orvosok könnyebb munkára osztották be, mások segítettek neki a munkában, a keret is kíméletesebb lett vele szemben. Kis csoport alakult ki körülötte, reggeli és esti imáknál. És a Rabbi kimozdult hallgatásából, napról napra beszédesebb lett, ápolta a betegeket, ételt adott a nagyon leromlottaknak. Bátorította az elkeseredetteket, lelket öntött a lelki betegekbe, és imádkozott sokat, sokat. 1943 tavaszán halt meg flekktífuszban. Ugyanúgy temettük el, mint az előtte elhaltakat, rongyokba burkolva, koporsó nélkül, az útszélen, a mezőn, fejjel keletnek, nem mély, jeltelen sírban. A különbség csak az volt, hogy a kádist, a halotti imát, más mondta el, nem ő. Az erősen megtizedelt századunkat összevonták más hasonló lecsökkent számú századdal. A Rabbiról mindenki megfeledkezett, valódi nevét ma már senki sem ismeri, sem azt, hogy hol van eltemetve.”

1944-ben a szüleimet is deportálták. A háború végén Ági rögtön eljött érdeklődni Kolozsvárra, hogy mi van velem. Édesapám még nem volt itthon, édesanyám sem volt itthon, senki rólam nem tudott semmit. Dacára annak, hogy minden hónapban írhattunk egy lapot Ukrajnából, egyetlenegy lap nem érkezett meg. Hivatalosan érdeklődött a hatóságoknál utánam, és eltűntnek voltam nyilvánítva. Én aztán átszöktem az oroszokhoz, onnan is írhattunk minden hónapban egy lapot, azok közül sem jött meg egyetlenegy sem. Ági hazament Aradra azzal, hogy és eltűntem, nem létezem. A háborúnak vége volt, életjelt tőlem nem kapott. Ő akkor már 25 éves volt, tanított egy iskolában, udvarolgatott neki egy kollégája, egy számtantanár, s egy elkeseredett pillanatában igent mondott és összeházasodtak. Lementek Bukarestbe, mert a fiú bukaresti volt, mindketten azonnal kaptak állást.

1946 szeptemberében én hazaérkeztem Kolozsvárra, az oroszok hazaengedtek. Rajtam volt egy rongyos német katonai ruha és egy lyukas bakancs. Még az állomáson találkoztam egy ismerősömmel, aki annyit mondott nekem, hogy „Édesapád itthon van, a régi lakásban lakik”. Úgyhogy én a régi lakásba felmentem, apám éppen akkor nem volt otthon, egy régi cselédünk, akit nem tudom, honnét, apám visszakerített, az fogadott engem. 1 óra körül hazajött édesapám, egymás nyakába borultunk, sírtunk mind a ketten. Úgy egyszerre esett minden a fejemre 24 óra alatt: hogy nincs meg édesanyám, hogy nincsenek meg az ilondaiak, nincsen meg a két legjobb barátom, nincsenek meg édesapámnak a testvérei, nincsenek meg édesanyámnak a testvérei, nincsenek meg a távolabbi rokonaim, a távolabbi barátaim. Akkor kérdem apámtól, hogy Ágiról tud-e valamit. Én akkor nem vettem észre, aztán utólag, ahogy visszagondoltam, apám egy kicsit zavarba került. Feltételezem – soha nem beszéltünk erről –, hogy tudta, hogy férjhez ment, de akkor nem akarta nekem megmondani. Apám azelőtt nemrég került haza, a szó szoros értelmében nem volt mit együnk. Apámnak akkor még nem volt állása. Délben még nem tudtuk, hogy mit fogunk vacsorázni, vagy fogunk-e ma egyáltalán vacsorázni. Azt hiszem, a hitközségtől kaphatott apám valami támogatást, és hát abból éltünk. Másnap délelőtt találkozom Ági volt lakótársával, Katival. Összeölelkezünk, majd: „Mit tudsz Ágiról?” Ő is egy kicsit zavarba jött. „Férjhez ment.” Abban a pillanatban én nem fogtam fel a dolgot, akkor tudtam meg, hogy anyám nincs meg, hogy a lakásunk teljesen ki volt rabolva, egy rongyos díványon aludt apám, akkor kerítettünk még egy díványt ágynemű nélkül. S akkor elgondolkoztam: „Hogy lehet, hogy Ágnes férjhez ment? Mi történt? Hogy történhetett?” Megtudtam a címét, és hogy pillanatnyilag otthon van a szüleinél, Aradon még egy pár napot, mert vakáció volt, és Bukarestben él a férjével, s ott van katedrája. Hát mégsem lehet, hogy én ne jelentkezzem be Áginál. Hat éve nem találkoztunk, négy éve még levelet sem kapott tőlem, két éve még hírem sincs. Apámtól tudtam aztán meg, hogy én eltűntnek voltam nyilvánítva. Hat év távlatából neki egy emlék maradtam. Leültem levelet írni neki. Öt levelet eltéptem, a hatodikat elküldtem – egy nagyjából semmitmondó levelet. [Hónapokba telt, míg a helyzet tisztázódott. Ágnes békében elvált a férjétől, és feleségül ment Neufeld Györgyhöz.]

A Metropol kávéház fölött laktunk, az első emeleten, az volt a régi lakásunk. A kávéház közvetlenül a nagy Szamos híd mellett, a mostani Horea út elején volt. A háború előtt főleg zsidók jártak oda. A kávéház a háború után megszűnt, egy textilvállalatnak lett ott a raktára. A fölötte lévő bérháznak volt egy belső udvara, és körben volt egy gang. A lakás négyszobás volt, nagy hallal. Volt még egy kis szoba, [a második világháború előtt] a polgári házaknál volt segítség, egy cseléd, és ennek volt a szobája. Már a szüleimmel is abban a lakásban laktam, az egyik szoba a szüleim hálószobája volt, a másik az én szobám, a harmadik az édesapám rendelője, ő is orvos volt, a negyedik a nappali volt. A hall volt a várószoba. A második világháborúban feldúlták a lakást. A szüleimet deportálták, édesapám csodálatos módon túlélte. Nagyon betegen került haza, és idegeneket talált a lakásban. A háború alatt az üresen maradt lakásokat a városháza kiosztotta idegeneknek. Apám visszakapott a lakásból két szobát, erről nem tudok részleteket, hogy hogyan, mert nem szívesen beszélt ezekről a dolgokról, úgyhogy nem faggattam. A másik két szobában idegenek laktak. Én rá vagy két évre kerültem haza az orosz fogságból. Akkor nagy nehezen még visszaszereztünk egy szobát. Nemsokára rá megházasodtam. Az egyik szobában maradtak az idegenek, állandóan cserélődtek a lakók. Romániában mindig lehetett protekciót keríteni és elintézni dolgokat, úgyhogy valamennyire irányíthattuk, hogy ki költözzön be a negyedik szobába. Így odakerült egy kollégám a feleségével. Nagyon jóban voltunk, dacára annak, hogy közös volt a konyha és az előszoba, mert rendszerint az ilyen közös lakásokban kutya-macska barátság volt, de mi jól kijöttünk velük. Mégis sok komplikáció volt a lakás körül. [Időközben meghalt Neufeld György apja, és] amikor megszületett a nagyobbik gyerekünk, beköltöztek Kolozsvárra a feleségem szülei Aradról a harmadik szobába. Amikor meghaltak apósomék, és mi is csak hárman maradtunk a családban – a nagyobbik fiam ott halt meg, abban a lakásban –, a kisebbik fiam elkerült Bukarestbe az egyetemre, akkor átadtunk önként még egy szobát ennek a házaspárnak. Kb. 30 éve költöztünk el abból a lakásból.

Mind a két gyerekünk tökéletesen tudta, hogy zsidók vagyunk, hogy ők zsidók. Akkoriban mind a ketten a tanügyben voltunk, a feleségem tanárnő volt az Apáczai Csere János iskolában, én pedig adjunktus a röntgenklinikán. Ha a legkisebb vallási momentum rólunk kiderül, mind a kettőnket kirúgnak a tanügyből. A gyerekeket viszont, a két gyerek között hat év korkülönbség volt, nem akartuk úgy nevelni, hogy kétszínűek legyenek, hogy az iskolában adják a nagy pionírt, itthon pedig kapjanak egy zsidó nevelést. Nem akartam hazugságokra nevelni. Nem akartam, hogy például a gyerekeknek eljárjon a szájuk az iskolában, hogy ünnepnapokon voltunk a templomban. Viszont azt sem akartam, hogy menjünk a templomba, s majd rájuk parancsoljak: „Nehogy ezt megmondd az iskolában!” A háború után majdnem teljesen megszűnt a vallási élet. Olyan formai lett, mint amilyen mostan, dacára annak, hogy akkor még voltunk vagy ezerötszázan-ezerhatszázan. Így nagyon-nagyon elhalványultak ezek a vallási dolgok, de nagyon tudatosítottuk mind a két gyerekben, hogy ők zsidók. De nem metéltük körül őket [lásd: körülmetélés], mert azt is felügyelték akkor a kórházakban. Bár micvát sem tartottunk, mert ha megtudták volna, kirúgják Ágit is, és kirúgnak engem is az állásunkból.

A gyerekekkel nagyon jó volt a kapcsolatunk. Két teljesen ellentétes típusú gyerek volt. Közös vonásuk csak annyi, hogy mind a kettő jó matematikus volt, és nagyon jó volt a zenei érzékük. A nagyobbik fiam, Andris borzasztó verekedős volt. Tisztelték egyrészt azért, mert nagyon erős, másrészt, mert nagyon okos gyerek volt. Mindig segített a gyengébbeknek, szerették az osztálytársai. Egyszer összeverve érkezett haza, s mikor kérdem, mi van, mondja, hívatnak az iskolába, és hogy egy osztálytársa azt mondta neki, hogy „Jidan puturos!” [Büdös zsidó (román)]. Nem szólok semmit, másnap bemegyek az iskolába, az osztályfőnöke kicsit zavarba jön, s mondja nekem – persze románul: „Kérem szépen, én nagyon kínos helyzetben vagyok, Andris összeverekedett az egyik fiúval, akinek az apja szekuritátés őrnagy [lásd: Securitate]. A fiam annyira összeverte, annyira vérzett az orra a fiúnak, hogy a mentőket ki kellett hívni, és ez a szekuritátés őrnagy  egy nagy cirkuszt csapott, és Andrist ki kell zárjuk az iskolából.” Én egy kicsit gondolkozom, hogy mit mondjak neki, s akkor ő megszólal, hogy „Esetleg kéne, ön találkozzon a gyerek apjával, az őrnaggyal, itt nálam és próbáljanak megbékülni.” „Nekem nincs mit tárgyalni a gyerek apjával. Andris összeverte, a törvények szerint járjanak el, de volna egy kérdésem.” „Tessék!” „Nem tudja, hogy miért verekedtek össze?” „Nem, nem, hát olyan súlyosan össze volt verve, hogy eszünkbe sem jutott, hogy kutassuk, hogy mi volt a verekedés oka. Rendszerint valami gyerekség szokott lenni.” Mondom: „Hát nem éppen gyerekség. Hallgasson ide: az én szüleimet deportálták azért, mert zsidók voltak, az én barátaimat deportálták, mert zsidók voltak, engem elvittek munkaszolgálatra, mert zsidó vagyok. A verekedés azért történt, mert ez a fiú azt mondta az én fiamnak, hogy jidan puturos, büdös zsidó. Nekiment annak a fiúnak, és nekem nincs erkölcsi jogom, nincs morális jogom, hogy ezért az én fiamat megbüntessem. Büntessék meg az iskola és az ország törvényei szerint, én az én fiamat még le sem hordhatom ezért.” Az ajkába harapott, azt mondja nekem, hogy ő ezt nem tudta, ki kell vizsgálják a dolgokat, természetesen meg kell kérdezzék a gyerekeket, és meg kell beszélni. Kéri, hogy holnapután menjek be megint hozzá, addig ő felveszi a kapcsolatot. Azt mondom neki: „Én nem jövök be. Nincs miért bejöjjek. Ez történt, az én álláspontom ez, a dolgok folynak tovább.” A dolog elsimult, semmi nem történt, azt a gyereket a következő évben elvitték az iskolából. Nem tudom, hogy miért, én sosem érdeklődtem. Nemsokára rá, 16 évesen meghalt Andris [betegségben].

A Gabi fiam pont az ellenkezője volt. Gabiban nagyon komoly zsidó érzés volt, amit én beleneveltem. Nem vallási dolgok, hanem hogy ő kell vállalja a zsidóságát. Elvégezte a politechnikát [Politechnikai Egyetem] Bukarestben, soha nem panaszkodott arra, hogy hátrányba került volna azért, mert ő zsidó. Aztán a fiam kiment Izraelbe, Haifán dolgozott. Miután elvégezte a nyelvkurzust, behívták egy négy hónapos kiképzésre. Azzal nem volt semmi baj. Ő előzőleg, még az egyetem előtt itt, Kolozsváron volt katona. Akkoriban az egyetem előtt volt a katonaság. Izraelben kellett válasszon, hogy milyen pótkiképzést kapjon: egészségügyit vagy utászt, ő az előbbit választotta. Kapott egy egy hónapos egészségügyi kiképzést, s aztán visszakerült a munkahelyére, egy gyárban dolgozott. Viszont ott 45 éves korig minden évben minden férfit behívnak hat hétre. És az ő egysége valahogy a lakóhelyéhez közel került. Emlékszem, egyszer akkor voltunk Izraelben a feleségemmel, amikor ő éppen ezt a hathetes időt töltötte le, minden este kiborulva, idegesen került haza, pedig ő nagyon-nagyon nyugodt természetű. Azt mondja: „Parancsot kapok, hogy egy arab házba, ahol történt valami merénylet zsidók ellen, menjek be keresni a terroristákat. Berúgom az ajtót, látok egy személyt, lövök. Az a személy lehet egy nő, és lehet egy gyerek. Nekem nincs annyi időm, hogy megnézzem, ki az, hogy egy nő-e vagy egy gyerek. Lehet, hogy egy terrorista. Ha nem lövök, ők lőnek le engem. Hát ez nekem nem kell!” Annyira tönkrement az alatt a hat hét alatt, amíg én ott voltam, hogy alig bírtam bele lelket verni. Nem maradt Izraelben, Kanadába költözött, most Torontóban él.

1952-ben itt volt egy nagy kivándorlási láz, [lásd: kivándorlási hullám Romániából a II. világháború után] amit a román kormány nemcsak hogy engedélyezett, és kapott sok pénzt Izraeltől ezért, de meg akart szabadulni a zsidóktól, úgyhogy az ország zsidóinak legnagyobb része kiment. Aki nem ment ki, mindegyiknek volt valami komoly oka, mint ahogy nekünk is. A háború után valahogy az antiszemitizmus egy kicsit elaludt. Eleinte hittünk a kommunizmusban. Amikor fogságba kerültem az oroszokhoz, abban a lágerben volt egy komoly ideológiai könyvtár: Marx, Lenin, Sztálin, Majakovszkij, Gorkij, nemcsak orosz, de magyar, román, francia, angol és német nyelven. Én délelőtt dolgoztam mint orvos, és a délutánjaim és az estéim szabadok voltak, hát olvastam. Annál szebb, mint a kommunista ideológia, nincs a világon. Testvériség, egyenlőség, hát mi van ennél szebb? Amikor engem elvittek, nem értettem a politikához, engem nem érdekelt. De a lágerben unatkoztam délután, és elkezdtem olvasni. Két év után, amikor hazakerültem, én egy meggyőződéses kommunista voltam. Meg voltam győződve, hogy a világ sorsa ez kell legyen, és ez a legjobb a világon. És nekem kellett két-három év, amíg felébredtem a valóságra, hogy ez, amit én ott magamba szedtem, ez egy álom volt, és pont az ellenkezője az igaz. Ugyanez volt a feleségemmel is. Ő is bekerült Aradon egy szalonkommunista társaságba, és ő is meggyőződéses kommunista volt. Hogy teljesen kinyíljon a szemünk, kellett öt-hat év, de két-három év után kezdtünk már gondolkozni a dolgok felett.

Kolozsváron egy feliratkozási láz volt, és mindenki minden további nélkül megkapta az engedélyt, de voltak, akiknek eltelt egy-két év, míg megkapták. A háború alatt a mi lakásunkat teljesen kifosztották, nem volt meg az orvosi diplomám. Próbáltam utánajárni, hogy kapjak egy másolatot. Leutaztam vagy kétszer-háromszor Bukarestbe a minisztériumba, képtelen voltam kapni egy igazolást arról, hogy orvos vagyok. 1957-ben nagy nehezen kaptam egy másolatot, addig a legkisebb igazolás nélkül dolgoztam, és közben letettem a szakvizsgát, a főorvosi vizsgát, de nem volt diplomám. Hát hol hiszik el nekem, ha kimegyek, hogy orvos vagyok, diploma nélkül? Ez volt az egyik komoly ok. A második ok, hogy a feleségemnek angol katedrája volt Kolozsvár egyik legelitebb iskolájában, a volt Református Leánygimnáziumban, a mostani Apáczai Csere János líceum volt az. A harmadik, hogy én voltam a legfiatalabb adjunktus a kolozsvári egyetemen, és fölöttem előadó tanár nem volt, csak egy, aki úgy nézett ki, hogy négy-öt éven belül nyugdíjba megy, és engem neveznek ki előadó tanárnak. Ha feliratkozunk, 24 órán belül kirúgják a feleségemet és engem is. Két gyerek van, akit el kell tartsunk, az apósom és az anyósom Aradról hozzánk költözött, őket is el kellett tartsuk, az anyósom nem dolgozott, nem volt nyugdíja, az apósomnak a nyugdíja cigarettára volt elég. Ha kirúgnak, a szó szoros értelmében éhen halunk mind a hatan. Ezeket, akik ilyen pozícióban voltak, mint a feleségem és én, ezeket megkínozták olyan értelemben, hogy nem adták meg az útlevelet. Kihelyeztek volna, mint egy barátomat, aki most Kanadában van. Asszisztens volt, feliratkozott, s egy hétre rá kinevezték Bánffyhunyadra és navétáznia [ingáznia] kellett minden nap Kolozsvár és Bánffyhunyad között. Volt még egy probléma közöttünk. A feleségemnek élt egy nővére Amerikában, pontosabban Kubában, és Kubából, amelyik szintén kommunista lett Fidel Castro alatt (mind a ketten orvosok voltak, volt egy kislányuk), egy bőrönddel átmenekültek az Egyesült Államokba. Tehát ők is ott kezdő emberek voltak. Természetesen nálunk is felmerült a kérdés. A feleségem mindenképpen Amerikába akart menni, hogy együtt legyen a nővérével, én pedig, ha megyünk, csak Izraelbe, ahol vannak barátaim. Akkor nem megyünk, ezen nem fogunk összeveszni, itt maradunk. És így maradtunk itt.

Gyönyörű házasságunk volt, soha hangos szó közöttünk nem volt. 1997-ben, hirtelen halt meg a feleségem. Készültünk kimenni sétálni, kiment a konyhába, és egyszer csak hallok egy esést. Állva halt meg. A ruháit átadtam a hitközségnek, hogy osszák szét a szegények között.

Én nem azt mondom, hogy ateista vagyok, de már a foglalkozásomnál fogva is – én röntgenorvos vagyok –, ami azon a röntgenképen látszik, az van, ami nem látszik, az nincs, itt nincs mese. Nagyon pragmatikus a gondolkodásmódom. Én nem azt mondom, hogy nincs Isten, de nem hiszek egy Istenben, és azt sem fogom állítani senkinek, hogy nincs Isten. Nem tudom szavakba foglalni. Mára a kóser háztartást nem tudtam megtartani. Annyiban tudtam megtartani, hogy ebédelni a zsidó kantinba járok a Párizs utcába, ahol kóser ételeket szolgálnak fel a hitközség tagjainak. Akinek kicsi a nyugdíja, annak kevesebbet kell fizetnie az ebédért, mint annak, aki jól áll anyagilag. Izraelből vagy más földrészről érkező vallásos zsidók is rendszerint itt étkeznek.

Pavle Sosberger

Pavle Sosberger
Novi Sad
Serbia
Interviewer: Dina Sosberger
Date of the interview: March 2003

Pavle Sosberger is a retired building contractor, but his whole life he worked on collecting information about Jews and their life in Vojvodina, a place where he spent most of his days. During WWII and troubling times it brought to everyone, he lost many members of his family. After the war Pavle realized that if he wanted to save the memory and legacy of everyone he lost, it was going to be a hard work. So, for many years he collected information about his family and is still, to this day, trying to find new date. It is his legacy to his son, grandchildren and great grandson.

He lives with his wife Agneza in her family flat in center of town. This part of the town used to be inhabited mainly with Jews but today it is the area where are situated main shops and cafés. We are sitting in their living room, which is full of Jewish ornaments, some of them belonged to his family and were found after Second World War.

Schosberger family comes from Sharvar or Schlossberg [today Sastinske Straze, Slovakia]. We came to this region in XVII century after the notorious law of Carl the III ‘Familietatengesetz’ from 1726 1. Our family is the ninth generation that has lived in Novi Sad, including my great-grandson Filip.

The first information about my family is about my great-great-grandfather Avram Schosberger who was born in 1779 in Racko Selo [today Novi Sad]. I don’t know the names of his parents but I believe that they lived in Novi Sad too. In the census from 1808 Avram is registered as a small trader (Latin – sacarisus) this is how they called peddlers at that time. Avram’s wife was Fanny Feith from Bugyi [Hungary]. It is interesting that there were marriages between these families (Schosberger and Feith) for four generations. The children of Avram and Fanny are Moritz, Natan, Lazar and Cili.

During the bombing of Novi Sad on June, 12. 1849 2, a bomb shell hit the building in which Avram lived and killed him. Since there were no conditions to bury Avram in the cemetery his family put him in trough for washing laundry and buried him in a shed for firewood. Then my great-great-grandmother Fanny flees with her family to her parents in Bugyi, and stays for about a year. After the family returned to Novi Sad the late Avram was exhumed and buried in the Jewish cemetery in Novi Sad. There is a pitcher on his tombstone as a symbol of belonging to the Leviticus tribe.

My great-grandfather, from my father’s side, was called Schosberger Moritz (Mor, Mozes-Leb). He was born in 1822 (according to some other documentation he was born in 1828) in Novi Sad. After the death of his father (Avram), Moritz leaves for Bugyi, he stayed there for three years. Soon after his arrival to Bugyi he had met Rozalija Feith, who he married in May 1850. Upon his return to Novi Sad, Moritz was a trader and according to tax books from 1875-1880 I found out that he had been paying taxes and surtaxes. He died in Novi Sad on November 10, 1896 and was buried in the Jewish cemetery in Novi Sad.

There is documentation that Rozalija Schosberger has borne a legitimate child, however, the name of the child was not listed but most likely her name was Rozalija, since she had been born in Bugyi in 1853. Their children are Regina, Rozalija (it is interesting that the daughter has the same name as her mother, that is not a custom for Jews) Adolf, Filip, Leopold, Flora and Gizela. They also had two stillborn children (1868 and 1869).

Moritz was active in Jewish circles that is in organizations. He was in the management of Chevra Kadisha from 1885-1888 when his name emerged among officials. I don’t know how religious they were, Novi Sad was never that religious as some other places were, for example Backo Petrovo Selo or Backi Petrovac [located in Vojvodina, Serbia]; they were very religious places in this region. However they went to synagogues, they had their own places to sit and I believe that all Jewish holidays were marked. Their dressing was like at all others in Novi Sad, I know that my great-grandfather had beard but not side-curls.

Moritz had a brother Natan (about whom I only have more information), Lazar born in 1830 and a sister Cili, born in 1837.

My great-grandmother Rozalija Feith was born in 1829 in Bugyi. About her parents I don’t have much information, except that her father was called Jozef Feith and that he was born around 1804. During a visit to his daughter Jozef had got sick; he had pneumonia and died in Novi Sad in 1874. He was then around 70. Rozalija died on March 11, 1904 in Novi Sad too. She had brothers, about whom I know very little. They lived in Bugyi. Filip was the eldest, born in 1831, Ignac was born in 1834, Markus in 1840 and Aron, the youngest brother, in 1844.

My Grandfather’s brother (from father’s side) Filip Schosberger was born in Novi Sad in 1859. He was handicapped, that is one of his legs was shorter; I remember he had a small stilt on his shoe. For this reason he enyojed grandfather Adlof’s protection and later on the support of the whole family. He learned for goldsmith’s and watchmaker’s trade. He lived and worked at number 5 Gajeva Street which is in center of the town, where mainly Jews were inhabited. This flat had four rooms, one of these rooms he used as working place where he was repairing clocks. He married in 1885 Janka Keler. Janka came from Conoplja [Serbia]. She was sickly by nature. They got a son Manojlo in 1905. Unfortunately Janka died early, in 1919; she was buried in the Jewish cemetery in Novi Sad. Filip remarried Regina Kon (who we called Aunt Fani). Fani was deported in 1944 to Auschwitz and didn’t return.

Manojlo (Kis Marci) completed gymnasium and joined ’Adolf  Schosberger’ company. He was conscientious and a good young man. He was active in ’Juda Maccabi’ 3 sports club where he became a general secretary. In 1937 he married Blanka Holender (born in 1915). Blanka was the daughter of Moric Holender, a veterinarian.  A year later they got a daughter Judit.  During the raid on January 23, 1942 they were all killed, except mama Holender. Mama Holender had been present at my wedding; later on she moved to her brother in America, where she died.

My grandfather from my father’s side was called Adolf Schosberger; he was born in 1855 in Backa Palanka [located in Vojvodina, Serbia]. It is not clear to me why he was born there, probably in the days after the bombing the life was difficult in Novi Sad, so the family had left to this nearby place for a short time and then returned again to Novi Sad.

Grandfather Adolf married Gizela Feith from Bugyi around 1880; it was the third generation of young men from Schosberger family that married girls from Feith family. They lived at number 28 Futoska Street, across the synagogue [today Jewish street, in the center of Novi Sad]. It was the house of Dr. Rudolf Grubi, he was very known Jewish doctor in Novi Sad. His house was a two-story house; he lived at first flour and we occupied the whole ground level on the right side, facing the street. We had plenty of rooms, I think 4 or 5. There was no bathroom; at that time Novi Sad did not have a water-supply, but there in the bedroom existed a kind of closet with a marble tile. On that tile there was a washbowl from porcelain with pitcher, and there we washed ourselves in the morning; the toilet was in the hall but it was a toilet without running water. There were servants in the house, there was a woman who was helping my grandmother and there were servants who worked in the warehouses of my grandfather’s company. It is interesting that, although the mother tongue of my grandfather and my grandmother was Hungarian, all business books were kept in German, I don’t know why but it was like this. But the spoken languages of people here were Serbian and Hungarian.

Grandfather Adolf like his ancestors was a businessman, but had started as an accountant.  As alleged, he had his own office in 1896 on the Vilson’s square [today, at the main post office], and in 1904 he founded his store that was called ‘Adolf Sosberger Agency and Commission Store’. The company was located for a long time at number 28 Futoska Street; where they lived as well. As the children were finishing schools they would go to work at their father’s company. Besides having his own store, Grandfather Adolf was also a partner in Goldsmith’s and watchmaker store of his brother Filip and his brother-in-law Samuil Kraus (his sister’s, Gizela, husband).

Father’s mother, Gizela, was a quiet woman. She was born in Bugyi in 1868; her father was called Filip and her mother Pepi. After she had got married she came to live in Novi Sad. Here she wasn’t employed but was a housewife and she took care of the house. I didn’t know her brothers and sisters. Grandfather and grandmother had three sons Josip, Eugen and Martin and a daughter Paula. Grandmother Gizela and her daughter Paula were deported to Auschwitz on April 26, 1944; from where they didn’t return.

On May 15, 1924 when the company worked in full swing grandfather entered his office while his employees were moving cabinets with archives. He wanted to help them to move a cabinet, as he started doing that so he dropped down dead on the floor. He was buried in the Jewish cemetery in Novi Sad in the family crypt. I was the only grandson at the funeral; then I was 4. I remember being taken by an employee from the company. He took me to the funeral with his coach. The funeral procession started from our house, there was a coach with a horse, the rabbi walked to the cemetery; to the same Jewish cemetery of these days. It is interesting that Aunt Paula’s second husband, Jakob Hohberg who was in fact Kohen and since Kohens are not allowed to go to the cemeteries, part of the fence was brought down near the crypt so he observed the funeral through that hole.

After grandfather Adolf died his brothers took over the management of the company that was still on the same location. The company moved into the new building only in 1927 and it was on Karadzic Street. The house is still owned by the family today. There were new offices, a warehouse and also apartments. My grandmother Gizela lived there till she died.

In Chevra Kadisha Adolf’s name appears in 1891 as a member of the board of directors, and in the Jewish community he had been active from 1907 till his death. He last holds the position of the director of religion and the synagogue affairs. In 1923 he had to negotiate with cantor Bernard Griner from Szekesfehervar [Hungary] to ask him to come to Novi Sad and become the chief cantor. As my grandfather died suddenly in 1924 his successor didn’t succeed to bring cantor Griner to Novi Sad, who then leaves for Zagreb. It is interesting that cantor Griner’s granddaughter Mirjam married my son Josip and moved to Novi Sad in 1973. There is an inscription above the middle entrance into today’s synagogue in Novi Sad that says ‘Adolf and Gizela Schosberger’ as the names of one of the donors for the construction of the synagogue.

I know that holidays were observed and that on Saturdays my grandmother would often gather all the grandchildren for cholent to our house on Karadzic Street. We would all sit in the backyard room; there was a big oval table, only Ivan Hohberg (son of my father’s sister Paula and Jakob Hohberg) would not come for lunch, but only watch, since according to his father it was not kosher enough. For me ‘cholent’ was, baked goose with compote from quince as a salad and for desert some cakes.

Father’s brother Eugen was born in 1891. He completed a business school. During World War I he was at the Italian front where he had contusions. He could not speak for some time, but he recovered and was sent to the Russian front. Here he received a war medal for courage. He had a rank of sergeant major. He was in captivity in Irkuck (Siberia).

After he had returned home he rejoined the company and married Lili Fuerst in 1922. Lili lived from 1903 to 1954. With her, he had daughters Mira and Vera.

Mira was born in 1923. She lives today in Paris. She has a daughter Clair and a grandson Julien. She has two Ph. D’s, one from psychology and one from pedagogy; she is a pensioner today. Her sister Vera was born in 1927. She was a famous pianist in Novi Sad and a piano teacher. She never got married. She died in 1972.

Eugen ran the ‘Adolf Schosberger’ company; he was also a member of a mason family. During the occupation he moved to Pest together with his family, where he built a two story house. In the organization of the Kastner group 4 he had been taken with his family to Bergen-Belzen from where they went to Switzerland and survived the war. After the war he returned to Novi Sad and worked with different companies till his death.

The second brother of my father, Martin, was born in 1897. He was married to Hermina Levenber (1901). Martin too worked in the family company. He was a member of Bnei Brit 5. After World War II started, Martin had been taken to a forced labour camp where he perished in 1943 in Ukraine. His wife died from illness in Budapest in 1943. They had a son Egon, born in 1924 in Novi Sad. Egon immigrated to Israel in 1948 with his wife Vera Lacko. He worked in Israel at customs district and for some time in the American embassy. He has two children Eliezer and Ofra and five grandchildren. Egon died in Israel in 1995.

My father’s sister Paula lived on Karadzic Street together with grandmother Gizela and her family. Paula’s husband was called Jakob; we called him Uncle Jaksi. They had four children Djordje, Ivan, Kornelija (Nusika) and Greta. Djordje died very young. He was in a visit at his relatives in Temerin and got scarlet fever and died. He was a very handsome young boy. Ivan didn’t return from the Holocaust; Greta and Nusika lived in Budapest. Greta has died; Nusika still lives in Budapest. Aunt Paula and Jakob were killed in Auschwitz.

My grandfather from my mother’s side was called Gabor. He was from Feith family. His family owned a lot of land in Bugyi but there were also a lot of children. My grandfather didn’t want to be a burden to the family so he left for Budapest. He studied to become a building contractor. He was a very wealthy man; he had 37 houses a car, a coach and a horse-drawn vehicle that served for transportation of goods.

Grandfather Gabor was also the President of the Jewish community in Rakospalota [today part of Budapest] it was an Orthodox community. He built there a synagogue with his son Miska. The synagogue exists even today and is used as a library.

I loved very much to visit Grandfather Gabor. When I was a child he used to take me to visit his building sites. At the beginning he had taken me with his car; later on he sold it. I remember it was a big FIAT that had the transmission from outside. We would always come to the building site while his employees were having their breakfast. It was interesting to me and I always wanted to eat with them. I would sit with them and they would offer me food to eat. Later on my grandmother would fill a small traveling bag with bread, some kosher salami and cucumbers for me, and I also wanted bacon, but she didn’t give me.

Grandfather Gabor’s wife was called Sidonia. We called her Sidi. She comes from Weiner family. She used to help in the office with administrative type of jobs. While she was working in the office grandfather would look after other duties out of the office. They lived in a big house with 6 or 7 rooms. If I remember well there were two servants and coachmen. They also had employees in the store, therefore my grandmother didn’t have to do anything else but overlooking the works in the kitchen since everything in their house was strictly kosher. Their children were Paul, Miska, Paula, Beska and Mancika.

I remember, from my childhood, Seder at my grandmother Sidi. We would always go to my grandfather and grandmother to Rakospalota. Usually I went there with my mother and brother. My father didn’t always come with us. It was big house with six or seven rooms. In one of them there was a big cabinet where all Pesah dishes were held. Of course these dishes were used only during Pesah. Seder was held in a big room; it was a big dinning room and the whole family would always gather there together. Grandfather guided the Seder. They hid afikoman as well so we the children would look after it everywhere in the house. We finished with the song Hadgaja (about a goat). Usually I would say Ma nistanah and my brother Dodika and my nephew Jancika would look for afikoman.

Mother had a brother Paul; she told me he had been very smart. He was known for his skills to do crossword puzzles and solve enigmas and would always receive prizes. However, one day he got meningitis; it seemed he had a brain tumor, but I don’t know about that. He died as a middle school student; he was 17 or 18. He was buried in the new cemetery in Rakospalota; I visited his grave many years ago. I got my name after him.

Mihaly, the other brother of my mother, or Uncle Miska, as I called him, attended gymnasium and completed three faculties, school of civil engineering, school of architecture and school of economics. He was a triple engineer. He had an illegitimate daughter, Ela. Ela’s mother was a nurse, who Uncle Miska met during World War I. When grandmother learned about the birth of this baby, she took her from the woman, brought her home and gave her to a relative of hers, a teacher, since they couldn’t have children. They raised Ela. When Ela had grown she learned that Uncle Miska was her real father. Ela later got married and lived in Spain.

Uncle Miska got married later. His wife was called Antonia, but we called her Aunt Toni. Just when I was in a visit in Budapest in 1956 Toni died. Later cika Miska remarried Aunt Toni’s friend who was called Ana. Soon after she fell sick and had to stay in the bed for the rest of her life. Uncle Miska died in 1975. He was 85 when he died.

My mother’s sister Beska married a banker; his name was Rudolf Lukac. He owned a bank and they lived a care free life. They lived in Budapest in a big apartment. Aunt Beska perished in Auschwitz; her husband had died of cancer before the war began. They had two sons Pista and Jancika. Pista was present at my son’s Josip wedding; he died later. Jancika, he is in Canada, I don’t know what is going on with him, he doesn’t write.

The other sister, Mancika, she was the least attractive among the sisters. Otherwise she studied medicine; she would faint during anatomy classes and so she left studies. She had no education. She married Ervin Hajnal, who was a fine gentleman. He was very religious; he would put tefillin every morning. Besides technical books he read only religious books. Ervin was cultural-technical engineer that is a civil engineer. He worked on the construction of railroads. During the war he was all the time at the railroads, they didn’t imprison nor intern him. Aunt Mancika had no children. They both survived World War II; Uncle Ervin died from cancer in 1956. Mancika died a few years after her brother Uncle Miska.

There was a story. In their apartment they had an official phone line since he worked as an adviser in the Ministry of the Railroad Transportation. One day he called to inform that he was not coming home for a few days. Aunt Mancika didn’t know what to do. When after a few days he had returned home she asked him ‘so where were you?’ he replied ‘don’t ask I was in Berlin driving Regent Horthy’s train to Berlin. Three engineers operated the train with him; there was a police inspector and a mechanical engineer.

Mother’s family was religious. For Shabbat candles were lighted, for the holidays they went to synagogue, and they had kosher kitchen. My grandfather wasn’t wearing kippah on street, just at home, Jewish community or synagogue. All the children in the family had Jewish weddings. In that time weddings weren’t held inside of synagogues, but were usually outside in the backyard of synagogue or of their homes, under Chuppah [bridal canopy]. Only later it became popular to make weddings inside of synagogue.  

My father was called Josip (Jicak); everyone called him Joka. He was born in 1889 in Novi Sad. He was the eldest son. He attended the Jewish elementary school and then the Hungarian gymnasium that was in Novi Sad. Besides Hungarian as his mother tongue he spoke Serbian and German language.  He completed the 4 years of gymnasium and two years of commercial school.

After the graduation he went to Bosnia to learn lumber trade. There he worked in the woods with ‘baraberi’ as they called them [they were workers that were coming from different regions to work and look for better livelihood]. Here they cut woods and lumber with power saws (it is a mechanical motor saw). When they put a log inside it the saw would cut it into boards.

While he was working there a doctor from that district would visit them once a week. Since many of them were sick and injured, he thought my father to use the first-aid kit so he could treat the workers. As he didn’t speak much Latin, therefore the doctor wrote under every Latin name of the medicaments their Hungarian or Serbian names. That way he knew what to do when someone had a cut; he even treated the wounds from syphilis. He had his own method. He would take a long stick, put a piece of cotton and dipped it in iodine. That iodine would burn the syphilis caused wounds and they would dry out. After that he would throw the cotton out; but of course this method didn’t treat the syphilis itself.

My father has served the army; he has been ordered to a cavalry regiment. Up until then he had seen a horse only with a coach. Here he had to groom, take care, and saddle the horse and to learn to ride it. The cavalry was dressed in red pants and blue shirts. Corporal in charge for military training had it in for my father. As the soldiers were riding the horses he would often ‘accidentally’ hit my father with the horsewhip in his leg; since his pants were of red color one could not see him bleeding. Once, during the grooming of the horses, the Corporal took that thing for grooming and hit my father in the chest. During an exercise, because of the Corporal, my father’s horse hit a fence and my father broke his leg. After he had recovered he went in for riding and became the best horseman in the whole regiment. My father was a very strong man, he was educated, he had a nice handwriting and he very quickly became a clerk in the regiment. He received his first star, then the second one and the third one, while the Corporal remained with only two stars and could not mistreat my father anymore.

He spent three years in the army. During this time he was able to celebrate all Jewish holidays, he wasn’t praying everyday, but he used to go to Synagogue. Just as he had left the military service the war [World War I] broke out and he had to return to his regiment. First he had gone to Galician front and later to the Italian front. He was at that time with the regiment as ordnance and received many war medals, two for the courage, merits, and Karl’s cross. All together he had seven war medals.

In 1918 the Italian front had faded away, the revolution broke out 6 and the army left the front and returned home. Soldiers posted white chrysanthemums to their hats, they called it chrysanthemum’s revolution; and then the Hungarian army started their retreat to Hungary. My father went to Budapest together with the army. There Horthy’s soldiers were singing ‘erger, berger, sosberger minden zsido gazember’ which meant that every Jew was a rowdy. Then he decided to leave the military.

Mother Paula was born in 1895 in Ujpest. She first completed the Jewish elementary school and then attended the famous Veres Palne advanced girls’ school. Later she completed an advanced technical school for civil engineering. In secret she also completed Montessori academy for extracurricular education. When she returned to Novi Sad she was the first person to have education for educating kids in extracurricular activities. It was the Montessori Method she used, which is even today attractive.

She was very skillful. She would make anything and everything, for example, she drew, did handwork, made different decorations from wood, Goblins, made and worked on vases. I loved to help her; I would, for example, by a plain vase and then we would color it in black and drew figures in some other colors. After that we would lacquer it and get a very nice thing.

My parents knew each other since they were relatives. After my father had left the military he visited his relatives, the Feith family. His relatives held him up, they wanted him to stay longer because they liked to have a male person around and because their son had not returned form the military. Here he associated with Feith’s daughters. Here somehow Paula and Joka fell in love. My mother told her parents that she had wanted to marry Joka.

The wedding took place in Budapest; since it was a war time my father’s family was unable to attend the wedding. They married in 1919; it was a religious and a civil wedding. They lived for some time in Budapest, where my father ran a café bar that was the property of Grandfather Gabor. After, I believe 4 years, the grandfather from Novi Sad ordered Joka to return home.

I was born in Budapest, in the Jewish hospital ‘szeretetkorhaz’. I was born on Yom Kippur on September 21, 1920. My grandfather Gabor lived 10 kilometers away from the hospital and on the second day after my birth (it was still Yom Kippur) he had walked to the hospital to see me.

We didn’t live in Budapest for long. To Novi Sad my mother and I came with the ship ‘Franc Jozef’, it was the first voyage that I remember. We traveled for a long time from Pest to Novi Sad, but it was fun. When we arrived, my father was waiting for us and waiving. My father had come to Novi Sad before we did in order to prepare everything for our arrival. We went with a coach to our house. I think I was 3 or 4 years old.

In Novi Sad we first lived at my grandmother’s place. In 1927 we moved into our house. It was located near a public bathhouse and a catholic cemetery. It is even today one of the nicest houses. There were 5 rooms and down there in the basement there were a couple of rooms. In that house we had a bathroom, the most modern bathroom with our on plumbing; we had this automatic tank that could fill up automatically. The water had to be warmed up using fire wood, since there was no boiler. In the bathroom we had a bidet and a sink. In that house there was also a central heating that is floor heating on coke; we also had a phone line, radio, it was an equipped house of today’s grade. There were servants, there was a woman who cooked, a young girl who helped with cleaning the rooms and we had, for some time, a nurse while my brother was little but she left later on. We had a gardener and a janitress who washed and ironed the laundry.

We grew roses and some other flowers. I was a well-intentioned boy and would always bring home some flowers. On Futoska Street near the Jewish school there was a store with seeds; there I would by different seeds day and night, violets and sometimes radishes. So I had my own garden where I grew my flowers and radishes.

While we lived in the house, my friends were Vermes Tibor, Iric Mandika, Lemberger’s children, they all lived close by. We all went together to Jewish primary school. Most of  our time was spent playing ping-pong less playing football. And we socialized in the school and at home in the afternoons. Later on I associated with Miki Berkovic. His parents had a big factory ‘Prva Jugoslovenska Kemicka fabrika’, they manufactured soaps, cologne, shoe cream ‘Idol’ and I don’t know what else. Together with him I used to go to the school dances, movies and theaters. For some time I was in love with Miki’s sister. However, my first love was Bjanka in the first grade of elementary school. She danced ballet nicely and my whole class was in love with her. Today Bjanka lives in Israel in Ashkelon and she is 83 years old.

We had friends besides the family but I don’t remember them. Mainly we associated with our relatives. We often got together with our relatives who were in Novi Sad, with Hereds, the other Schosbergers, grandfather’s brother-in-laws, Kraus, Rozencweigs; they were all married to Schosberger’s girls.

While we lived on Futoska Street we had in the neighborhood our seller ‘Najbauer i sin’ [the name of the shop ‘Najbauer and son’]. He was German. He had a variety store and we used to buy there. We had a book where it was recorded everything we bought and at the end of the month we would be paying. We were on good terms with him. This Najbauer had a son.

Once I bought some candies, found a kind of number in them. I asked him ‘what is this?’ he told me to hold on to this number because I could get a watch.  Since then I have started buying these candies and collecting the numbers and at the end, we had all the numbers. He went to the factory’s main office that manufactured these candies and I received a pocket watch. It was a pocket watch, quiet thick and I was very proud of it.

After we moved to the house we would always go to ‘Jelisaveta Marberger’ store. As alleged this Jelisaveta was a distant relative of ours. She had a husband Aladar. This store was located on today’s Zeleznicka Street. We didn’t go there to buy, but we ordered over the phone what we needed and their man would bring the merchandise on the bicycle. On Postanska Street there was a kosher butcher store ran by Marer, grandfather of our friend Evika Marer. We used to buy meat there. There also used to be shacter office (a poultry slaughterhouse) in the backyard of synagogue. The main shochet Simon Fleishman was also teaching and preparing kids for Bar Mitzvah.

My brother was called Adolf Armand Schosberger, Adolf after my grandfather, and Armand, my mother found, so it would not be only Adolf. We didn’t call him Adolf nor Arman but Dodi or Dodika, even in school they called him by his nickname only now and then by his full name. He was born in 1926 in Novi Sad.

I was 5 years old when I started the beginner’s class and I had already known Serbian. My mother tongue was Hungarian and German, I don’t know which one I began to talk first. Serbian I learned here. I had taught my mother Serbian before she took private classes with a professor. She had to give an exam from Serbian, history and geography in order to validate her teachers’ diploma.

Dodika was like me attending the Jewish elementary school, then gymnasium; after he had completed it he began to go to a technical school but he didn’t complete the 3rd grade because the war had started. I don’t remember I had not been here when the war started, but I think one could attend schools then, but he was killed in the raid in 1942. He was 16 then.

Once there was an interesting problem with the name of my brother. We worked every summer in my grandfather’s office. I started arranging the archives, I had to read every letter, to put them in files where they belong and the same thing Dodika had to do later. After I grew up, I advanced and when there were no lectures I would work in the company. I would do everything, I went to the bank to cash cheques, and I would even pay customs. When I stopped working in the company Dodika became the incomer for my duties. Once he has gone to the bank, the clerk asked him to put his signature. He signed as ‘Adolf Schosberger’ – the clerk told him ‘don’t sign the company but your name’, ‘but my name is Adolf Sosberger’ he says.

At least once a year we had to go to Budapest to our family; otherwise Dodika, my mother and I went once together to the seaside to Crkvenica. No more we had traveled together, but I went to camp sites. They were not Jewish camp sites. I used to go to a boarding school at Bled [in Slovenia]; it was run by middle school teacher Legetic. There we didn’t have any special program. We have associated, swum in the lake; I have been there several times.

As we moved to Novi Sad, my mother would take care of me and my brother Dodi only. When Dodi grew up, she engaged in public works. She was one of the most active women in the Jewish community, in the women’s section [then it was called women’s organization], in the Maccabi, in WIZO. She took care of the whole organization of the cultural and public Jewish life. She organized concerts, balls, dances, tea parties. I still have here a newspaper where is written ‘our famous Paula Schosberger was in charge for the organization’.

My Bar Mitzvah was in 1933. Hazan Simon Fleishman prepared me for Bar Mitzvah. It was in the month of September. My whole family was present, even the grandfather from Budapest came. First Kohen was asked to step to Torah, it was Uncle Jaksi Hohberg, on the left was my father, then uncles Eugen and Martin, and I was maftir. I had a new suit, I was very nervous but in spite of that I sang nicely my part of the prayer. After that rabbi Dr. Henrih Kis held a speech, blessed me and congratulated me. With it the official part was over and when I climbed down the stage I was welcomed by relatives and friends who congratulated me. My mother and my aunts were all the time on the balcony. At home we had a formal lunch and in the afternoon my friends of the same age came for a visit. I received many presents.

I attended the Jewish elementary school, then the gymnasium Kralj Aleksandar. It was a classical state male gymnasium (4 grades of gymnasium). Here I was studying Latin and French. I loved to study languages. My French teacher would always praise me to be the best student of his.

I went for two years to Fridman’s institute. Almost every day I would go there after school. It was private institute and students had to pay for attending classes. It had two buildings, one was used as dormitory for out of town students and in the other there were classrooms where we studied. Not all of the students were Jewish, and there were no Jewish subjects. We had classes about general education and they were in German or French language. They were taught by Dr. Fridman and his wife. These classes were famous; he would say ‘today we are going to Italy through Novi Sad by train’. We needed to know what places we pass through, what money is in what country etc.

After gymnasium I attended a technical high school, section for construction. Here my father helped me a lot. He knew to draw nicely and whenever there was a drawing to be done with ink, he would do that instead of me. He bought for me all possible gadgets, I had two boards with legs, one big board was in the school the other one I had at home. I had a drawing desk and a ruler and the same things in the school. I loved descriptive geometry, specialistic subjects and knew to draw nicely, however ink drawing my father knew better.

The town of Novi Sad was a very nice town, as it is today, it is located near Danube, but it was much smaller then today. In my time it had a tram that was introduced in 1911, it was a tram on tracks, electricity; it had been in function till 1958 when it was discontinued. Before that, there was a tram pulled by two horses like an omnibus. Later on came coaches and even cars. We had parks that exist even today Dunavski and Futoski and the so called Artejski Park. The streets were mainly paved with yellow clinker bricks, but there were also streets paved with asphalt and those that were not paved with asphalt. The center was always nicely arranged.

As there were no water-supply in Novi Sad in houses, usually the adults would go to bath in the public bathhouse; we the children would bath at home in a small bath from sheet metal in which you could sit but your legs would be sticking out from it. Father and mother had been going to the bathhouse so long as the house was completed, in which there was a water-supply. In Novi Sad there used to be Mikveh, in the backyard of synagogue but my parents weren’t so religious so they weren’t going there.

The Jewish community was a Neology type 7. In Novi Sad, then, there were about 65 000 inhabitants and maybe even more. From them, the biggest Jewish population had been just before World War II, around 4300. Here were included different emigrants from Austria, Czechoslovakia and Poland. They came to escape from Hitler’s regime. There was a big synagogue that was built in 1909. It is today’s synagogue the fifth in order. It was very nice, it had organs and mixed choir. It is interesting since only in 1888 it was permitted the use of mixed choir in synagogues and only in neology ones that were a bit more liberal.

The main rabbi was Dr. Henrih Kis. He completed the rabbinical seminar in Budapest 8 and he was a Doctor of philosophy. In the 1930s came to Novi Sad another rabbi Dr. Mordehaj Zilber. He was Polish and a Doctor of philosophy too. He was well educated and spoke many languages, mostly he helped the main rabbi and kept Hebrew and history classes for kids. The Jewish community had seven clerks for religion. The main prayer was chazzan Fleishman Simon, there were a few assistants to the prayer and a shammash he was called Kaufman, he wore a half cylinder. There were two servants who cleaned and took care of the synagogue they were not Jewish. One of them blew the organs (before the electrification). He would use his legs to blow air in the organs.

Officials, the President of the Jewish Community and Chevra Kaddisha had their place in the Synagogue. They were sitting to the left of the rabbi, in separate honorary places. To the right two gabbai would sit, they were well known inhabitants of Novi Sad). They all had during the religious service cylinders on their head while the rabbi and the main Cantor as well as all the religious personnel had talar from silk or velvet (they were dressed in a very decorative manner).

In Novi Sad there was also a Jewish kindergarten. My mother founded it at the beginning of 1930, at her expense. It was the first and only Jewish kindergarten in Novi Sad. After the opening of the Jewish cultural home in 1935, the kindergarten had moved into the cultural house and then the Jewish Community takes it over. But my mother was still in charge and running the kindergarten; Hana Simerling, after coming back from Palestine (I think in 1937 or 1938, because she got malaria), helped my mother in work with kids. There was one more girl, additional staff, she would take kids to toilet, helped them to wash their hands etc.

It was a well-known kindergarten, beside Jewish kids there were non Jewish too. There they would draw, learn Jewish songs, make sculptures from modeling clay. Whole kindergarten was adapted for young kids with small tables, chairs, and even small sinks and toilet sits.  All the kids had uniforms, white frocks with blue edges and blue Magen David on the left side, the name of each child was written on the frock’s pocket. The kids often prepared shows for holidays, for Hanukkah, Purim and they were presented in front of the Community members. I remember the names of some performances ‘Adriatic night’, ‘Children’s conference’ and ‘Forest dream’. These were all very simple theatre performances made so that even the youngest of kids could participate. My brother and I would also take a part in them from time to time.

We also had a Jewish elementary school, it was the best school in the town, with excellent teachers and a very modern building, for example, no school in the town except ours, had English toilet and water. It was founded in 1801. It was built next to the synagogue and was here all the time. [Today in that building is a ballet school]. The school director was Boros Mihajlo who taught religious instruction. In the beginning almost all the teachers were Jewish. Later on there were only few Jewish teachers and were employed non Jewish teachers.

It was the only Jewish school in Novi Sad, it was not Yeshiva, we had a specialty; on Saturdays the school was not open but there was a religious service for kids every Saturday in the second grade class. In that class there was a small Aron kodesh, and there was a parokhet on it. On Saturdays Aron kodesh would be opened and a smaller Torah taken out. Meil would take off the clothing and a silky tape in what Torah was wrapped, he would put it on the table where it was read. The religious service was led by Mihajlo Boros. He would read Torah and first was invited Kohen, Levi, Shlisi, Revii, Hamishi, Shishi and Maftir; all who would come to Torah were kids. After the end of the religious service Torah would be wrapped back, hagber would hold it again and galila dressed Torah and put it back in Aron kodesh.

My family was religious but not orthodox. In my home we had kosher kitchen and my mother was very strict about its rules, all Jewish festivals were celebrated and we went to synagogue as well. For Shabbat my mother would light the candles, and at Saturday I always went with my father to the morning service.  For Yom Kippur all the family was fasting and during the day we were at service in synagogue.

Ghettos existed in Novi Sad for only a short time somewhere around 1748. When Novi Sad became a free Royal city with it came its right to create a Jewish ghetto. The Jewish Street was proclaimed a ghetto and all the Jews who had had houses in other parts had to sell and buy houses in this part of the town, but that didn’t last for long. That street would be locked with chains at 6 p.m. But already in 1800s Jews were residing all around Novi Sad although their stores were mainly on Jevrejska Street [Today it is still called the same meaning Jewish street, it is located in the very center of Novi Sad].

After World War I a new Kingdom of SHS was created [Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenians], Jews too had accepted the new state except a few that had not accepted the new government and left Novi Sad for Hungary. We didn’t meddle much into politics, only Bodo Kovac, who was the president of the Hungarian party. At that time one could sense the strengthening of Zionist organizations and later in 1930s the revisionists too. We were all mainly in Hashomer Hacair 9, Tehelet lavan 10 and Kadima 11 organizations. It was a Zionist center left orientated.

I remember the military parades, every year there was one parade in the town. On September 6, the birthday of the crown-prince Petar, the Yugoslav army paraded with military music. It would begin on Dunavska Street [Main Street in Novi Sad] then pass by the headquarters of the first army, here the army commander would welcome the parade, and to me it was very interesting to watch. There were military music, few military transports with soldiers, artillery, trucks and there were no tanks.

I remember the King’s visit to Novi Sad. We, the middle school students, had stood in the first row, it was in 1934 in the spring and in the fall he was killed. I was next to him, there were no soldiers only isolated policemen in front and we the children. I stood at the movie theater ‘Apolo’ [today’s Apolo center, at the main square], immediately as the king was arriving with an open Packard and with protective glass. Near him was sitting the governor of the Danube regional unit and at the front was the adjutant. While he was coming he was waving his hands to us and greeted us in a military way, and we would shout ‘long live the king, long live the king’, we also had some flags that we waved with. Then the King entered the City hall, for a meeting, and after that he sanctified the business youth’s building. He came out on the balcony, there were a lot of people down there and we applauded and shouted ‘long live the king’!

In 1934 in October the King was killed. My mother had a habit, when she would hear something new she would say ‘Is it possible, is it really possible?’ Exactly then my brother and I heard mother when she started ‘what are you saying?’ and we ‘is it possible. Is it possible?’ However, we saw at her that there had been something really serious, she sad ‘children it is not a joke, they killed the King!’ We were scared about what could happen. But Dodika and I were not aware of the situation. All the night soldiers were marching in front of the house. From all the barracks in Novi Sad soldiers were going to the central barracks on Mileticeva Street. There they gave oath to the new king. The following morning when we went out, there was everywhere military police with rifles and bayonets. They guarded everything, the City hall; the financial institution was guarded by the ‘financi’ (financial guard) in green uniforms, while the military buildings were guarded by the soldiers. This is how it had been until the funeral, that took place about two weeks later in Belgrade and then in Topola.

I attended the gymnasium ‘Kralj Aleksandar’ and we too wore black bands on our arms, but then we changed our minds. But we had our school sign ‘A1’ on our hats with the crown of king Aleksandar on it, and we took transparent black tulle and so wrapped that badge.

While I was in gymnasium I had a very bad teacher, his name was Bozidar Prvanovic, and he taught Serbian language. Before I completed the final exam this guy had tormented me. In the 4th grade of gymnasium, for Christmas break he dictated a list of school readings to us that needed to be read. After I had arrived home and told  that to my father  and my mother, mother grabbed my hands and took me to ‘Matica Srpska’ [a Serbian cultural institution that is engaged in scientific and publishing activities], there we were helped by, I think his name was Cosic, to find all the books. Everything that was expected I have read. I have done nothing else during that break but read.

At my father it was a must that everything I read or write in the school, I had to copy into hard bound notebooks and it was like a Holy Letter. So after I had read all the books from my school readings, I had them written all on the paper. At the first class after the break came that Prvanovic and immediately asked me if I had read anything during the break. Immediately I started reading all the names from the list; of course he didn’t believe me that I read it all. He asked me to read the report. What ever he wanted, I had the report written in my notebook. He gave me mark 3 and didn’t want to give me a better mark although I knew everything he asked. I think he was anti-Semite but I’m not sure how he was behaving with other Jewish kids. He taught me German too. I spoke German fluently, but even here I always had mark 3 very rarely 4. He wasn’t like that with the other students. I remember when we would go on a picnic he would ask me to contribute more money for the picnic and he would say ‘You Schosbergers are rich’. Except this teacher I had nobody else problems with.

All the middle school-kids were joined members of the school organization. And we participated in all school rallies. The rallies took place at today’s stadium, then, it was ‘Karadjordje’ athletic field. It was the property of ‘Vojvodina’ and ‘Juda Makabi’ sports clubs. Here falcon parades took place with falcon music [Falcon was Yugoslavian national sporting organization]. We would march through the town, we had stylish uniforms with red shirts, school hats with a feather, and the younger ones wore short pants, red shirts, sajkaca [type of Yugoslav soldier’s cap] with red lining while the little ones had the same uniforms but instead of sajkaca they wore round caps with black and red in the middle. After that we did some group exercises, floor exercises and then that with rings and with batons mainly exercised girls and younger boys.

I collected stamps, played the piano, loved to ski, and played tennis. I was active in the ‘Juda Makabi’ sports club. Here I first learned to fence, later on I joined the section for gymnastics. In the evenings we would go to parties, makabi balls, and Zionist performances.

Besides Miki Berkovic, my great friend was Fredik Ernst. His parents ran a retail company for postage stamps and philately stamps. Almost every day I would visit them, we would go out together. First we would go to dances that took place in the male and female middle school (gymnasium), after that we would go to cafe bars, bars and night clubs.

During 1933 we moved to Mileticeva street because my father had financial problems and the house were we lived was sold. The building was erected on the location of the former ‘Kamila’ café bar that was a well known meeting place for writers and bohemians in Novi Sad. The building was built by Cocek Nandor a building contractor from Novi Sad, after the projects of Mihaly Feith, architect, who had come to Novi Sad for that reason. He lived with us at that time and sometimes he ate at grandmother Gizela on Karadziceva Street.

In that building except us lived some other our relatives, Kelers, (today they live in Rehovot), Kalmans, Dr. Santo with his family, Sosberger Mano (Kis Marci) with the family. There were more residents here but I don’t remember them.

My family moved in a 4 room apartment on the ground level; from the entrance you got directly in the dinning room that was furnished with the same dinning room furniture that we had in the house, it was a furniture in so called ‘new German style’ that my mother had received from her father as a dowry. From that room you entered the living room. In the living room the furniture was made from mahogany in a secessionist style, we had a big library there was also my father’s desk and in the middle of the room there was a round table with 4 armchairs. On the floor there was a Persian rug. In that room was also a piano made by ‘Lauberger and Gross’. We received it from Budapest, and the rest of the furniture was bought at ‘Eduard Kraus’.

Dodika and I shared the room together; it was all in green furniture. I had a green iron bad and Dodika slept in a green couch. In the room we had a tile stove. Beside the window there were two worktables – it was a green color bench.  Later on I had my drawing table there. In the apartment there was also my parent’s bedroom, and a bathroom but the toilet was separately. From the dinning room we could go to the hallway that led to the kitchen and the pantry. Also in the house there was a girl’s room but it had a separate entrance, from the hallway of the building. It was a small room and in it you could fit a bed and a closet.

In our house there was a lot of books, a part of it my mother had brought from the family library, but also quite a lot of books we bought. There were foreign writers, Hungarian writers, encyclopedias, different historiography books. I read the most a thick book about women anatomy. When I was small my mother took the book for herself, but I have stolen it and always read it.

With Hitler’s arrival to power, there were no big changes here. I remember that local Germans would get together, that building exists even today. On the eve of the war they withdrew into that building, they were armed. Here inside they had a radio station. Sometimes we would see them, but very rarely. Once they marched, here where the Slovakian church is today [Masarikova Street], before the church there is a one story residential house. Here their youth would meet. They were dressed in black short pants, white blouse and white socks.

When I had completed the school I got employed. Then I was 19 years old. My first job was with ‘Soman i Bauer’ company that manufactured artificial stones, there I learned the trade, I worked on the production of artificial stones, façade and around things connected with construction. After that I joined engineer Rajh. Here I worked in the office, drew and drew up plans, and climbed buildings. Later on I got employed in Belgrade with a quite big planning office. Here we worked for the royal court and ministers. It was a very favorable opportunity; I started to get to know the profession and the people. However on March 27 in 1941, there had been a coup d’etat in Yugoslavia and my chief told me that it would be better to return home because there was going to be a war. I went home immediately and joined the civil defense. On April the 6th World War II started in Yugoslavia when Germany attacked Yugoslavia.

In Novi Sad I never felt anti-Semitism nor did I ever have conflicts on the job for being a Jew. However with the arrival of the occupier big troubles for us Jews have started everywhere and at all places. There were a lot of laws that restricted us The first law was that Jews could not buy any real estate, second that they were not permitted to trade with any goods, third they could not attend schools, fourth they could not work in their desired field mainly they had no jobs at all. Then my mother formed small group in Jewish Cultural center, they had telephone there. Our members who stayed without job would apply to her and then she was trying to find them some kind of job. Also Serbs were coming to look for workers. I became bricklayer and I worked together with my friend Ervin Haim who was by profession printer. We were repairing houses. Everybody worked what ever job was found. But this didn’t last for too long, very soon started the call ups for work services that are forced labor.

As soon as the occupiers had come we were asked to pay a huge compensation to Hungarian army, I don’t know why. Novi Sad’s Jews all together had to collect 50 million golden dinars, of course there was no such money. When my uncle Eugen heard about this, he said ‘in Novi Sad there is no so much money’, and that was the Truth. I was the youngest member of group that collected money. From members of Jewish community we collected 37 millions, part in money, houses, bonds and part in bank accounts. The main thing is that we paid 37 million dinars in order to avoid being thrown out from Novi Sad over the Danube, to Ustashi. To be killed by Ustashi.

When they had called us up for forced labor, the first group worked 6 Weeks in Novi Sad. Every day from 6 to 4 o’clock in the afternoon we did physical work at jobs like navy, airport, unloading at the Danube, demolition and clean up of terrain. And besides all, soldiers and officers would all the time tease and mistreat us. For example, solders would catch a person and condemn him to be hanged for two hours. His hands would be tied behind his back and his legs would barely touch the ground. After 15 minutes the most, he would faint. Soldiers would then put him down on the ground, splash him with water, and after he regained consciousness, they would start all over from the begging. They would never beat us.  

When I had finished with forced labor, I would go the office to my father to work on something but since some people started mistreating me, some former employees who didn’t know me, probably mistreated everyone. Some of my acquaintances advised me that it would be better to leave for Pest. I obtained some documents which helped me to get to Pest. There I stayed at my uncle Miska. In Pest it was still possible to work, so I worked in the morning on construction sites, and in the evening I stayed with my relatives Pista and Jancika, we would go everywhere, had fun as much as it was possible.

My family was surviving here in Novi Sad for some time; they could not go out and were not appearing in the society. It was very difficult and obviously a bad situation. My mother stayed home, she could not run the kindergarten that is she worked and she didn’t, the thing is that it was rescinded at the end.

In October I received a call up to report to military officials. As soon as I reported they assigned me to the 5th workers’ battalion in Hodmezovasarhely [south of Hungary] and since that period from October 13th, 1941 till the end of the war I have been in labor camps. I was in different camps across Hungary, in Transylvania and Russian Carpathian, northern Hungary, occupied former Czechoslovakia. In June 1943 we were transported by ships to Serbia in Bor mine, here I stayed till the end of the war, about a year and a half. The camp was run by Germans and our guards were Hungarian soldiers. There I stayed the longest at one place. I worked in the German working organization ‘TODT’, there were around 7000 Jews from Hungary and from all the territories that Hungarians occupied.

The communication with my family existed till they were alive [January 1942]. We had those pink cards that we could mail once twice a month, if you had whom to mail. At the beginning when I was in Hungary and my parents were still alive we stayed in touch. My parents and the brother were killed on January 23, 1942 in Novi Sad during the Raid 11.

The Raid in Novi Sad lasted three days. From our house, during the Raid all its residents were killed and that in front of the house. Only two little babies were saved, Aleksandar Kerenji and Djurika Goldstajn. Servants hid them in pillows and so saved. Later, relatives took them. Djurika has gone to relatives in Novi Sad and then to Budapest to my uncle Miska. Here he had lived till 1956 when he moved to America. There he got sick and died, I don’t know what year.

During those three days of Raid in Novi Sad any kind of gathering, in public or in houses, was forbidden. All shops were closed; there was no traffic in the city, telephone lines were cut off and it was forbidden to listen to radio. During first two days around twenty people were killed. Unfortunately, the number of victims wasn’t high enough for the Hungarian authorities and they ordered a new approach. So on the last day, Raid started from Mileticeva Street, street where we lived. My whole family was killed just outside the house where we lived as well as all the inhabitants of that street. After killing people on the streets, Hungarian soldiers took bodies and through them to Danube river. That day it was -30°C in Novi Sad and the Danube was frozen. Most of the people were taken away from their homes and killed at beach ‘Strand’ on the Danube. They had to stand in rows of four: men, women and children. There were ordered to take their clothes off, and then forced to come to the big whole made in the ice by Hungarians soldiers. Then, they were shot and their bodies thrown under the ice. Today, there are 828 known Jewish victims of Raid in Novi Sad.     

In Novi Sad from our closer relatives 14 were killed (9 of them were killed during the Raid in Novi Sad), and 20 from our other relatives. That is 34 persons from my family that were killed during the World War II.

After the Raid in Novi Sad I had nobody to write among my relatives. I only wrote to my uncle Miska and to my grandmother in Pest. Grandmother had stayed in Pest till April 1944, when she was taken with her daughter to Auschwitz. Uncle Miska and his sister Mancika had stayed in Pest in some Spanish houses that were under protection of Spanish embassy; Spanish embassy would rent a house for the people that had Spanish documents. My uncle, his family and my aunt got them somehow that way they were not taken away. The people from the embassy would look after them so they were not going out very often. This way lot of Jews was saved.

I remember the liberation day that was on October 3rd, 1944 in the Bor mine. Because I was working there as manager of construction, from Germans I received a license to move outside the camp. It was sort of ID. At the end of September camp was in big disorder because the first group of the soldiers had left the camp. One day when it occurred to me that I won’t be allowed to leave the camp anymore, I took all my possessions from the office, where I worked, my fake documents and IDs. While I was entering the camp, the guard stopped me, searched me, and found those documents. I was closed in an army court. Fortunately, the army judge was no longer there, he had already left to Hungary. The soldiers from the army court treated me ‘normally’. The last day, I was transferred to Gail that was situated in the camp.

My friend Juda Farkas together with some Italian people that were also sent to work at this camp, they broke the door with axes and release me. Then, I was hidden in Juda’s barrack; friends hid me in one of the beds. After the army had left Bor mine, together with my camp inmates I took over the command over the camp. The camp was on fire; we managed to escape from the fire and dispersed over the city. I reported to the first partisan unit that I came across, since I had few friends and partisans, they set me in a partisan unit where I immediately became a partisan and a few days later they summoned me to the staff of the partisan unit. Since then I have stayed at the staff and worked on different jobs. In the army I was an officer and stayed there for another 10 years.

Juda Farkas and his brother Mendi were very good friends of mine. To all the camps where I was sent for work, they were sent, too. The two of them were born in Ada [located in Vojvodina, Serbia], in the same town from where my wife is. Juda was also with me at partisan unit. Today, Juda is my relative because he married my wife’s nephew, and they live in Israel. 

The first time I came to Novi Sad after the war, I remember I immediately wanted to go back to Belgrade in the army. In Novi Sad I came with a military jeep. Unexpectedly I ran across a friend of mine from the camp. I stayed at him a couple of days. A little by little we found a few acquaintances but nobody from my relatives. Our apartment was looted; other people had lived in it.

People from Novi Sad were well-behaved towards me, they invited me to the city hall, and here they offered me a house or an apartment. I was with my employment tied to Serbia so I could not go back nor I could accept anyone else’s house or apartment because I had my own. Later on when I had got transferred to Novi Sad I succeeded as a military man to recover our house and that first only part of the house, and then more and more, at the end I recovered the whole house. That is the house on Karadzic Street, if I had not been a military man I doubt I would have got it back. Nothing from the family property I could find. Everything was looted, a small part of the furniture I found, but not the rugs, pianos, nothing like that.

After the war my friends were mainly Jews and those who had returned to the Jewish Community but also I had very good friends that were not Jewish. I met them mainly at the job, even today I get along with them. Mostly we associated within the Jewish Community; here we celebrated all the Jewish holidays and from non Jewish holidays only the New Year. We had also our private friends who we would visit or who would visit us, or we would go to concerts, movie theaters, theaters and shows.

After the World War II, the chief rabbi of Novi Sad was Dr. Kis. When the war started he run away to Budapest. For some time, he stayed in Novi Sad. Afterwards, he went back to Budapest where his daughter was living, and he died there. Since then we didn’t have rabbi here, but services were held for festivals and Shabbats by members that knew to lead them. After the war, a great number of Jews from Novi Sad immigrated to Israel. Then services were moved to the great hall of our Jewish community, since there were not many people interested.

Today we celebrate festivals in the Jewish community; we invite Chazzan from Belgrade or Subotica [north of Vojvodina, Serbia], sometimes rabbi that works in Belgrade comes and sometimes we celebrate them in simple traditional way. Usually the children from children’s club prepare play suitable for that particular occasion or we celebrate it by giving a lecture about festival.

My wife is called Agneza Sosberger, or Agika as her nickname is. She was born in Ada [located in Vojvodina, Serbia] in 1926. She comes from Neuberger family. Agika’s father was called Miksa Neuberger and her mother Berta Brandajs (maiden name). Miksa was a glassware and porcelain trader.

Her family was an orthodox Jewish family. They kept kosher and were quite religious; they would go often to the synagogue. They observed all holidays, they lit candles on Friday evenings, had barhes, also they would close their store on Sabbath.

When the war [World War II] started she completed the middle school. During the war she was in a camp in Czechoslovakia. We met after the war. While doing the military service at the army headquarters in Nis (Serbia), I met Jelena Viculin, nee Hofman. She was a daughter of Ada’s rabbi and a friend of my Agika. And she arranged that we meet. The first time we met was in Belgrade in ‘Moskva’ hotel. We had got immediately friendly, soon she had invited me to Ada, and not long after we got engaged.

We got married in 1948 in Ada. During the morning we had married in the city hall, and just before lunch we had a religious wedding (in the backyard of their house) under Huppah. A prayer led the ritual, at the wedding there were a lot of acquaintances who had known me even before World War II and there were new acquaintances and friends. It was rather a big wedding.    

Agika was a housewife all her life, in 1950 our son Josip was born and then she was engaged with him.

Some of my friends immigrated to Israel. My wife Agika and I had thoughts about that. We even registered, but I didn’t get the permission from the military so I could not immigrate. After I left the military, somehow the time has passed for that, I don’t know but I feel very sorry for not moving to Israel. Besides Agika’s mother, her aunt and uncle lived with us; they were elderly and didn’t want to leave Novi Sad, Ada, and Becej.

All the time we were in touch with our friends in Israel and visited them often. I and my wife were going to Israel every few years, depending on whether we were able to find accommodation and finances. In 1990 I was invited to museum Yad Vashem, where I received an award, the Golden Menorah for my work during the last couple of years. What I did was collecting the data about Jews from Vojvodina who got killed during the Holocaust and about Jewish life in this part of Serbia. There were about 19000 Jews killed in Vojvodina and by 1989 I had the data about 15000 of them. Today this list is even longer. For me that was the biggest prize for the Jewish work. One more prize I received for my work on saving the data about Jewish life in Vojvodina in 2001. Award is from city of Novi Sad and was presented to me by the mayor. 

The first time I visited Israel was in 1972. It was an official delegation of Vojvodina’s Jews. The motive for the visit was the 30th anniversary of the Raid in Novi Sad and Vojvodina. It was very formal, we were received by the President of the State of Israel, and then we visited Knesset too.

Last time when we were in Israel it was in 1993, then my grandchildren Eli and Dina were in Israel for year, and we went to visit them. We have been on good terms with the consulate and later on with the Israeli embassy in Yugoslavia. They would come to me to a private visit and they visited the Jewish Community. 

The political orientation of Yugoslavia during the wars in Israel was negative and that towards all conducts of Israel. We (the leadership of the Federation of the Jewish Communities of Yugoslavia; I was a member too) tried to somewhat improve that. Often Nahum Goldman would come, he had good contacts with Marshal Tito 12, and through him we tried to accomplish better relations with Israel. It had been permanently promised but never carried out; the anti Israeli position of Yugoslavia lasted till Tito was alive. However the break up of diplomatic relations alone with Israel didn’t effected us, we continued to work normally, only we didn’t have an ambassador in Belgrade but in Budapest and Vienna, we could get visas in Belgium or Israeli embassy in Budapest.

After the war I remained in the military for another 10 years. I worked on military projects, I built military installations. After that period in the army I worked in the construction company ‘Neimar’ in Novi Sad for 5 years. Here I was the manager of a construction site. It was a quite good position. Later on I was asked to work for Novi Sad post office (PTT) as a manager of the construction department. In PTT I had been a manager of the construction department for 24 years before I retired.

Everyone in my family was religious like me. Father had his place in the synagogue, parallel to and above his was my mother’s; I would sit next to him. Mostly I would go to the synagogue on big holidays, sometimes on Fridays evening but very rarely on Saturdays. So, even later, I was active and probably one of the most active members in the Jewish Community in Novi Sad. For 10 years I was the president of the Jewish Community; from 1964 to 1975 and for 40 years a member of the leadership of the Federation of the Jewish Communities of Yugoslavia.

I was never a member of any party and was never involved in politics. In that period under communism I had problems for being a Jew. I was supposed to be dismissed from my job in the post office because I was the president of the Jewish Community at the same time. I filed a complaint then and they hushed it up. I kept on as the president of the Jewish Community and had my job.

When the changes began I had been already retired. In 1981 I became a pensioner. My pension was the same as before. In the meantime I wrote several books that the government subsidized and helped with their publishing. I wrote about the history of the Jewish people in this region and the town of Novi Sad. I wrote also about the synagogues in Vojvodina. All my books were printed here and published; I had got approval for all that.

Unfortunately, the fall of communism was at us very problematic. In 1989 an authoritarian government came that was no better and maybe just worse than the one before. Before 2000 the situation had been very uncomfortable. Many call ups for the army, there were departures to the fronts, senseless wars were led, people were loosing lives and properties, but we again got along.

The Jewish Organization worked around the clock, we received different assistance and sometimes we could also help others. It was quite uncomfortable, difficult, very often people would flee from Yugoslavia, they didn’t want to go to war because they didn’t know why do they fight, it was bad. Unfortunately in this kind of uproar there is always someone with anti Semite ideas. Anti Semite programs appeared on television. Against that we all (including myself) fought. Later they had become less frequent and disappeared, but not completely. That way there was more anti Semitism here for the last 12 years than it was for the last 50 years. For example, not long ago there were anti-Semitic television shows; still in bookstores you can find anti-Semitic books… During Tito’s regime there was anti Israelism but there was no anti Semitism, although anti Israelism is the same thing as anti Semitism but in a different shape.

After the fall of communism many Jews returned to the Community. I personally never hesitated to declare myself as a Jew. During the war, in the camps, after the war, during and after the communism I have always been a Jew and an active member of the Jewish Community.

While I was the president of the Jewish Community we had 300 members, today we have over 600. Today Jewish life in Novi Sad is much more active then it was before. That is because new generation of young people has grown up; they took over the initiatives from us. I am content with them because they work in a positive sense and for the maintenance of the identity of Jewish people. Unfortunately we don’t have much possibility for their education in the religious sense regardless of one being religious or not, we don’t have a religious teacher and we have only one rabbi for the whole country.

Jiri Franek

Jiri Franek
Prague
Czech Republic
Interviewer: Dagmar Greslova
Date of interview: February 2005

Jiri Franek, formerly named Jiri Frischman (83), is a professor of Slavic studies who has lectured at leading German universities, at the Charles University in Prague, has contributed to the Svoboda and Odeon papers, and the Lidove (People’s) publishers.

Today he is retired, but nevertheless is still interested in the issues of his field and participates in conferences about the Holocaust. The interview was made in his Prague apartment, where he lives with his wife.

Jiri Franek belongs to the family of the famous Viktor Vohryzek 1, the founder of the Czech-Jewish movement 2. Jiri Franek has his own theory of Jewishness, according to which Jews don’t form a nation or religion, but a ‘pospolity,’ or community.

For this reason he also refuses to write jew with a capital ‘J.’ He was also brought up according to the Czech-Jewish movement. He rebukes today’s Jewish life for gradually removing itself from Czech life – he feels that he is a Czech of Jewish origin. Conversing with him was very pleasant, because he is capable of telling anecdotes from his life dispassionately and with humor.

[Editor’s note: Upon Mr. Franek’s request we publish his biography using small letter “j” for the word “jew” and the like.]

  • My family background

I don’t remember my grandparents, because I never met them, when I was born they were already dead. I do though know relatively a lot about them, because we had a strong family tradition and after the war I started to become interested in our family’s history. Unfortunately I know more about my mother’s side than my father’s.

I don’t know where my father’s ancestors – the Frischmanns – came from. In the end they lived in Benesov, where my grandfather Adolf Frischmann had a wholesale grain business. The Frischmanns most likely still ‘Germanized’ quite a bit, that is, expressed themselves more in German than in Czech, but their children already tended towards Czech identity, as was the case in those days in many jewish families. Grandpa’s mother tongue was most likely German and as opposed to his children he was inclined towards German. My grandfather’s family wasn’t Orthodox 3.

I know very little about my grandmother, who was named Frischmannova, née Wallersteinova; I don’t remember her first name. She lived with Grandpa in Benesov, and she was likely a housewife. They spoke German at home, although later I came by her poems, which she wrote in Czech. Grandma had a feeling for literature. Later I wanted to publish her poems, but it never worked out.

My father’s oldest brother, Uncle Arnost Frischmann, lived in Benesov, and was married to Otylie Frischmannova, née Krausova. They had a daughter, Anicka Frischmannova. He inherited my grandfather’s wholesale grain business. Uncle Arnost became a member of the resistance and was shot by the Gestapo sort of outside of the jewish quota, that is, not for being jewish.

My uncle was shot during the German occupation before the deportations to concentration camps started. Now in Benesov near Prague there is a memorial hall in which my uncle occupies quite an honored place. I gathered all the relics and reminders of him, because I used to collect those types of things, and already before the war started I buried them, that’s why it all got saved.

The memorial hall for deceased jews is in a former cemetery morgue, and I sent them all the materials I had. It’s not his memorial hall, but in the deceased jews’ memorial there’s simply a section for members of the resistance.

My father’s other brother, my uncle Rudolf Frischmann, graduated from law school. He fought in World War I, during which he met Jan Masaryk 4. In fact, it was said that he saved Masaryk’s life. How, that remained a secret. Of course it could be true, or not, but one thing is certain, and that is that when my uncle Rudolf died, my aunt got a newsstand. I have one or two letters from Jan Masaryk, which I later gave my aunt’s sister.

Rudolf Frischmann’s family continued to have ties with Jan Masaryk long after World War I. Uncle Rudolf’s wife was my mother’s cousin – so we were de facto doubly related. Aunt Marie was born Stukartova, which is a quite famous German name, but she was jewish. My uncle Rudolf and aunt Marie met each other at my parents’ wedding

Unfortunately I was a witness to my uncle Rudolf’s death. In those days they lived in Usti nad Labem, and during the night he had a stroke. My aunt told me to run and go get a doctor, and I had no idea where I should run – they lived in this villa, so my aunt ran out in a nightshirt to show me the way and told me run quickly and tell the doctor to hurry, that for sure it was a heart attack.

She also said that the doctor was a German, but that hopefully he’d come anyways. So I ran to the doctor’s house, in those days there were no after-hours services and one had to go to the doctor’s home, I woke him up and told him that it was urgent, a heart attack. He took his time and kept saying ‘come on, what’s the hurry’, he delayed purposely, so that when he finally arrived, all that was left for him to do was pronounce him dead.

Another of my father’s brothers, Dr. Alois Frischmann, lived in Chocen, right beside Vysoke Myto, where our family lived. My uncle was a completely ‘Czechified’ jew. He was a very good tennis player and was the local tennis functionary. In fact, after the war they named after him a street that ran beside the tennis courts in Chocen, Alois Frischmann Street.

Not long after that, when exactly I’m not sure, as of course no-one announced it to me, they renamed it. Once when the communists were already in power I arrived there on a visit, and what do I see but that it’s been renamed to U Tenisu [Tennis St.], which is what it’s called to this day.

My uncle was never involved with any resistance activities, as opposed to his brother [Arnost Frischmann], but also came to an unfortunate end, because he was denounced by a colleague of his, for continuing to practice at a time when jews were no longer allowed to practice medicine.

I still remember that, he simply kept on practicing despite the ban, because people were used to him, and he must have been a good doctor. That’s quite obvious, because all warnings of ‘it’s dangerous for you, and for me’ were for nought. People said ‘Mr. Doctor, you have to see me. You have to come. And you say you have a jewish star 5? So come at night.’ In the end the whole town knew about it.

Chocen had a population of six or eight thousand, and no one said a thing, until one fellow doctor denounced him. I know his name, but I don’t want to name him, because his descendants would want proof, and that of course doesn’t exist. Because of this my uncle was shot before the start of the Holocaust.

My father, Alfred Frischman, was born in 1881, I’m not sure exactly where, but after getting married he spent the rest of his life in Vysoke Myto. His mother tongue was Czech. My father was a merchant, a tradesman – he wasn’t able to study because his parents couldn’t afford it. He was in business together with my mother, they had a company where they manufactured and also sold lingerie, bedding and towels. We manufactured it, and in the surrounding villages they stitched monograms onto it.

My father was a leftist in his thinking, he was apparently a free-thinker, his library testifies to this. He was a bit of a ‘pub athlete.’ I remember his large library, which was full of Czech books, he had complete collections by Macha 6, Sova [Antonin Sova (1864 – 1928)], his favourite poet Bezruc 7, free-thinking authors from Hasek’s 8 circle – Kulda and Saur.

To this day I have books from his library that weren’t lost during the war, saved and given to me by a friend of mine. My father’s library was a testament to his total assimilation. He wasn’t anti-religious, more like non-religious. My Czech identity comes for the most part from my father.

Otherwise my father was apparently a political person, very politically aware, he had wanted to study, but since his two older brothers were already studying, the family couldn’t afford it. Rudolf studied law, Alois medicine, and there was no money left for the third brother, so he couldn’t study, which bothered him for the rest of his life.

Dad was an athlete, he was friends with Laufer, the first Czechoslovak sports commentator, who broadcast mainly soccer and hockey on the radio. Laufer was a jew and Dad was a good friend of his, and constantly boasted about it. I don’t exactly know why my father didn’t fight in the war, but he wasn’t in the army, although both of his brothers fought in the war.

My father and mother met at the first All-Sokol Slet [Rally] 9 held after World War I. I don’t really know if my father had some girls before that or not, probably he did, because he was quite a handsome man. However, Mother did later confide in my brother and me that she had had several boyfriends, in fact I know some of them by name.

However, because of her parents there could be no thought of her marrying a non-jew. In those days parents were obeyed, so in the end she was happy when she met a person who was jewish – and therefore satisfied her parents – while also suiting her – they understood each other thanks to their common opinion regarding Czech-jewishness.

Unfortunately my father died prematurely at 31, of appendicitis. When my father died, he was cremated according to my mother’s wishes, which in their generation was a common thing in our family: that the funeral was carried out with an urn, as opposed to a strict jewish ritual. My mother believed that when a person dies they have to be cremated, because she was afraid that people buried in a coffin could revive, and that it must be a horrible thing.

A cremated person has the certainty that he’s dead, and can’t wake up in a coffin. Though my father was cremated, the ceremony was blessed by a rabbi. I don’t remember anymore who was rabbi at the time, but it was quite a big funeral, which started in Vysoke Myto. I was small when my father died, so my impression at the time was more of some celebration than my father’s funeral.

In my mother’s family it’s more jewish, but at the same time more Czech-jewish, because my grandmother was born Filipina Vohryzkova, sister of Viktor Vohryzek, the founder of the Czech-jewish movement. Grandma’s mother tongue was therefore Czech, that’s something that was emphasized in their family.

The whole family had a clear impetus from Viktor Vohryzek, it was a programmatically Czech-jewish family, still very religious, however anti-Orthodox and anti-Zionist. My grandma studied at a girls’ home economics school, and when she married my grandfather, Moritz Pfeifer, became a housewife. She died very young, of cancer, long before I was born. Her grave is in the jewish cemetery in Pardubice.

My grandmother’s brother, Viktor Vohryzek, was born in 1864 in Prestavlky. Our family considered him to be the founder of the Czech-jewish movement. Later, when I began studying it, I found that he wasn’t by far the founder of the movement, but his significance over preceding generations was that he brought Czech-Judaism into the centre of political events.

This was confirmed by his successor, the head of the Czech-jewish movement, Jindrich Kohn 10. Viktor Vohryzek was a great admirer of Tomas G. Masaryk 11 and even exchanged several letters with him. He and his colleague, Jindrich Kohn, had differing opinions on Zionism – Viktor was decidedly an anti-Zionist. Although he was very religious, he was also anti-Orthodox.

In opposition to this Jindrich Kohn expressed an interesting idea, which I think is true, that Zionism is a type of assimilation. He claimed that jews don’t want to be anything extra, and so have two choices – the first, assimilants, become part of another nation. The others, the Zionists, want to build a new state and nation in Palestine. Therefore he perceived both as assimilation.

Viktor Vohryzek had a prominent place in the entire family, his memory had to be honored. A typical example of this was the wedding of my father’s brother, Alois Frischmann, who wasn’t at all a blood relative of the Vohryzka family. According to the custom of those days, someone played matchmaker and suggested a girl who would make a suitable bride for him.

He went to have a look at her and they ‘fell for each other.’ Alois then went to see my parents so that he could ask their advice. The first question was: ‘Is she jewish?’ and he said ‘Yes.’ ‘And is she Czech?’ and he said ‘No.’ That was a complete catastrophe! He had to promise that his wife was going to learn Czech.

Later she really did learn Czech, and quite well, because she came to Chocen, to a solely Czech town. In this way Czech-Judaism was propagated not only in the Vohryzka family, but then also in the Pfeifer family, in the Frischmann family, in short it was all under the influence of Viktor Vohryzek.

Then I found out that Vohryzek’s religious life was purely jewish, which is interesting, how quickly it went. He left behind extensive works – stories, essays, I think not very good poetry, two dramas and many long theoretical and controversial articles.

Viktor Vohryzek practiced medicine in Pardubice. I have a very romantic impression of him. I don’t know if all the legends about him are true – but it was said that he used to have his carriage stop under a streetlamp and he would sit and read in its light. In this fashion he for example studied philosophy and other texts that interested him.

How much truth there is in this we’ll now never know, but since the profession of a doctor is quite difficult and time-consuming, it could have happened. By coincidence, as I later found out, Viktor Vohryzek once treated my wife’s mother.

Viktor Vohryzek married and had a son, Jiri Vohryzek. Jiri was a chemical engineer in Pardubice. Jiri’s daughter Vitezslava, the granddaughter of Viktor Vohryzek, was a dentist in Prague.

My mother’s family was pronouncedly religious, and for them jewishness was exclusively just a religion. Viktor Vohryzek led polemics with Zionism and was pretty well its enemy. His articles listed all of the negatives, unfortunately some of them, actually almost all, are true to this day.

That they won’t all fit [jews into Palestine], that the country won’t provide them a livelihood, that there is a shortage of water there, that there are Arabs there who won’t give up and retreat. But near the end of his life he said, ‘Well all right, if you want, why couldn’t those jews who consider themselves to be a nation, why couldn’t they live in Israel. You may be successful, but you’ll have to make peace with the Arabs.’ It always takes two to make peace.

His successor, Jindrich Kohn, wrote the philosophical work Assimilation and The Ages, in which he develops his theory of Czech-jewishness. He claims that Zionism is nothing more than assimilation. This interesting theory in turn influenced the whole Vohryzka family.

He [Jindrich Kohn] had a grand theory of assimilation, in which he claimed that jews are an abnormal nation, he calls it the ‘jewish clan,’ which I don’t consider to be very appropriate terminology. But he did perceive one important thing, that jews are neither a nation nor a religion, it’s something else, for which a term has to be invented.

According to him jews are brought together by the ‘jewish clan.’ It spread throughout the entire Vohryzek family, that Zionists really don’t want anything other than to be a nation like everyone else. So they wouldn’t be divided, so they could assimilate as a whole, as opposed to the assimilationists that want to assimilate as individuals.

I think that it gripped our family, with the exception of Vera [Vera Bysicka, stepsister of Jiri Franek’s mother], who via her Germanic roots came by a somewhat mystic Judaism. Otherwise the whole family considered itself to be Czech. I think that this almost certainly applies to not only just our family. Zionism and assimilation are no longer viewed as opposites. This was a novelty, for I did live through times where they were perceived as opposites.

Viktor Vohryzek was at first uncompromising when it came to the question of nationality. Later that changed, somehow for him jewishness was something completely obvious, but nationality was Czech. Jewishness was for him simply and solely a religion, he didn’t accept any other view.

He had an enormous influence with his theory of jewish ‘pospolity,’ or community. Unfortunately today he is fading into obscurity, although occasionally somewhere they cite him and write about his life. Of course things evolved, when Zionism came about, all jews retreated from their positions a bit, they allowed that he who wants, who can and who was raised that way, can be a Zionist, can feel himself to be a member of the jewish nation. I have my own theory on this, I claim that jews are neither a nation nor a religion, that it’s something that has yet to be named.

Viktor Vohryzek died in 1918 in Pardubice, so I never knew him. I do remember his brother Max Vohryzek a bit, he lived a little ways away from us in Vysoke Myto and had a wife named Hermina. I also vaguely remember the children of Viktor’s other brother, Lev Vohryzek.

Viktor Vohryzek has a beautiful monument, built for him by the Czech-jewish League at the jewish cemetery in Pardubice. The family grave of Max Vohryzek and Hermina Vohryzkova is right beside Viktor’s monument. All three were buried according to jewish rituals, in their generation this was still viewed as a matter of fact.

For this reason I often visit the jewish cemetery in Pardubice, and in fact lately I have been participating in an attempt to revive the jewish cemetery and jewish life in Pardubice, in which the non-jew Tyc helped me. We wanted to found a ‘Victor Vohryzek Society.’ However Tyc died and with that it all collapsed, because he didn’t have a chance to initiate a successor. What’s more, there are perhaps only two jews in all of Pardubice, and I can no longer handle it alone.

My grandfather, Moritz Pfeifer, was a baker in Nove Hrady. There is a beautiful rococo chateau there. Relatively long after the war [WWII] I visited the town and asked about if anyone remember baker Pfeifer. I found an old man, who told me where Moritz Pfeifer had a window out of which he sold his goods, where he had his ovens and so on.

When my grandfather’s daughter, that is my mother, was of marriage age, he decided that he had to do something for her. He bought a house in Vysoke Myto that for those times and in that town was quite spacious. It was a one-story house with a large tract of land in the back where he built a bakery. When he died in 1921, the ovens were sold at a fraction of their value and it was a horrible family and financial calamity.

Only a tall factory chimney remained, which I then inherited. According to the wishes of the National Committee I had to have that huge chimney demolished at my own expense, which was a very hair-raising and wild experience.

Grandpa Pfeifer had five children. Two daughters were from his first marriage. One married some Bysicky and they moved away to Germany. I still to this day keep in touch with my great-grandniece, Vera Bysicka, who lives in Berlin.

First she became Germanized, and as opposed to her ancestors, then jewified. Now she is a bigoted jewess. She travels to Israel, so far she hasn’t moved there yet. She is a very intelligent, educated young lady. She translates from Russian for a leading German publishing house.

Grandpa Pfeifer lived long enough to see my brother: he’s on a photograph, holding him. He died in 1921. When I was born, I had not even one grandfather or grandmother. So from this viewpoint I’m an orphan.

My mother had a much older sister, named Tyna Feiglova. Aunt Tyna was childless. She had a junk shop, which of course one wasn’t allowed to say in front of her. One had to say that she had a ‘store with used and new clothing,’ because she always had about five new outfits there. Her store was on Maislova Street in Prague, now there’s some sort of company there, I don’t even know which. It was a huge store, with two display windows and two entrances, and Aunt Feiglova also lived there.

My aunt’s husband was a businessman. He went bankrupt and eventually died. Aunt Tyna went through tough times, but got through them. That junk shop did very well for her, she became very rich. I still remember her, as an old lady, in tall lace-up boots and long skirts. She was always terribly strait-laced, she would never in her life have worn short sleeves. During the last years of her life she was apathetic, but whenever we would come to visit, we had to say, ‘I kiss your hand, auntie.’

Tyna we called her, and she would pull out two hundred-crown bills, one for my brother and one for me. These days that would be at least five hundred [500 Czech crowns (CZK)]. We always looked forward to having money in Prague. Only we were deathly afraid that we would have to sleep at her place when we came for a visit from Vysoke Myto to Prague. Her apartment, you see, which was also on Maislova Street, was horribly infested with bedbugs.

It stank of the petroleum that it was wiped, sprayed and gassed with. This was completely futile, because the entire neighborhood was infested. Otherwise she had a nice apartment. But I remember the bedbugs to this day, there I could have trained for the concentration camp.

I can’t stand those little critters, because of them I didn’t sleep for months on end in the concentration camp. When I had a bit of luck I had a beautiful sleep, and when we came the second day, the bedbugs were back. So it was a completely futile battle that my aunt waged.

Then my mother was born, she was named Hana Pfeiferova. She was from the second marriage. She must have been a pretty woman, she got a lot of attention, even some major wanted to marry her. By that time my mother didn’t feel the need to have a jewish husband.

Of course she considered herself to be jewish, but she was absolutely non-religious and assimilated. Of course her parents insisted that she must marry a jew. She was very lucky to have met my father, the man of her dreams, who was at the same time a jew.

Grandpa bought my mother a house and set her up with a shop, hand embroidery – sort of a little factory. Mother called herself a hand embroidery industry. She took orders and had three or four workers that did the sewing. They sewed lingerie, bedding, towels.

Then they would be printed with patterns, distributed among the villages and the country women would embroider them during the winter. At one time the firm was actually quite prosperous and we supplied Mrs. Hana Benesova [wife of Edvard Benes 12, president of the Czechoslovak Republic] with tablecloths, napkins and suchlike, I remember that.

She even exported her goods to America, which should have and could have changed my life. But it didn’t, because of various scams with affidavits that were common in those days. Before the war, at its beginning and during the war, while it was still possible, before the Germans arrived, when someone wanted to move out of the country, first the other country had to accept him.

So these comments, like why didn’t you escape and so on, are completely senseless, because the Germans wouldn’t let you out and were shooting people at the border, and other countries weren’t accepting jewish refugees. If and when someone had the luck to get across the border, he was immediately imprisoned there and then sent back.

The only way was if you had an ‘affidavit.’ This was a confirmation by someone trustworthy, who had to prove to the authorities that he had enough money and resources, and was willing to feed, clothe, house, basically support you, so you won’t be a burden on the state.

Mother’s company exported to America, and there was some man there, Egon Waldemar Muller, I remember his name to this day. Once after my father’s death, when Egon Waldemar Muller came to Prague on business, my mother, who now led the family business, realized that she wouldn’t be able to communicate with him, because she didn’t speak German.

So she asked me to do it, even though I spoke very little German, only on a fourth or fifth grade level. I summoned up the courage and met with him. He was delighted by such a small boy dealing with him. I even spoke to him by phone. He gave me a pocket knife, then he gave me a jacket with a zipper, today everyone has one, but in those days it was something unheard of.

He became very fond of me, and when the situation here started becoming very bad, he wrote my mother that he couldn’t afford to support our entire family, because the rules in those days were very strict in determining this, but that he was inviting the youngest – which was me – that he was sending me an affidavit.

That affidavit never arrived. Of course it’s possible that he never sent it, but from what I knew of him it seems most likely that he did send it. The thing was, affidavits were often stolen. The same thing happened to Pavel Eisner 13, for whom some writers obtained an affidavit, which never arrived.

Pavel Eisner, who survived thanks to Czech doctors, found out after the war that his affidavit was stolen by another Pavel Eisner who then managed to travel out of the country with it. In fact Pavel Eisner met him after the war. So I live with the fact that some other Georg [Jiri] Frischman, which also wasn’t a rare name, or someone who slightly changed it and made it into for example Josef from Jiri, left the country instead of me.

I’m one hundred percent convinced, without the slightest doubt in my mind, that Mr. Egon Waldemar Muller sent me that affidavit. Nothing prevented him from saying, ‘Look, it just isn’t possible.’ I remember that he was extremely fond of me, he said: ‘That’s a bright boy, he’s bold and capable.’ Beside my timid mother I looked like a particularly daring young man.

So I don’t believe that he would have written: ‘I’ve sent an affidavit.’ and not sent it. That affidavit most certainly got sent. Where though did it end up? Perhaps it was confiscated by the Germans for some reason, or if it arrived and some other Frischman left the country with it, that’s something that will remain a mystery.

My mother managed at the last moment to ‘sell’ the firm to one of our employees, so the company existed even after our departure. She sold it to our best embroiderer, Muhlbachova – who had a German name, but wasn’t German – and her brother. He was a dance master, she also had artistic tendencies, which was evident from her beautiful embroidery.

For example, when we had an order for bedding from the president’s wife, Mrs. Benesova, it always had to be embroidered by Mrs. Muhlbachova, because she was the best. She also danced with her brother, I remember that. In the end the Germans confiscated the company from her anyways. When I visited them after the war, I found out that the fact that they got the firm from us caused them more harm than good.

My mother was a kind woman, and extremely hard-working. She took care of the household and firm, and when my father died, we had the misfortune that our so-called business representative stole some money. Suddenly we had debts. Mother paid it all off, to this day I remember that when we were due to leave for the concentration camp, we all thought that we were going to get through it with no problem.

We were even annoyed with our mother for saying: ‘If I don’t survive this, I’m telling you now, I don’t have even a crown in debts.’ But after the war people appeared with debt notes that weren’t real. At that time I paid off about 50 thousand, because I didn’t want to argue.

But it was completely obvious that these notes were created by my mother for the case that if someone found our property with people that we had hidden it with, those people could claim that they had it as collateral for money they had loaned us. Of course in reality they hadn’t lent us anything.

I don’t think, though, that these people meant it badly, they simply forgot how it had originally been arranged before the war, and thought that I actually owed them the money.

I recall that when the Germans arrived on 15th March 1939, my mother told my brother and me that if the soldiers started touching and molesting her, after all she was still a nice-looking woman, that we had to stay calm and not to take any notice and leave it alone.

I still argue about that, we had no idea that the Germans would be killing, and what’s more, in such a fashion that we would arrive in Auschwitz and that same day be sent to the gas chambers, that was beyond imagining...My mother has a memorial plaque in the jewish cemetery in Pardubice on which it says that she died in Auschwitz.

My mother had two younger brothers. The older of the two, Josef Pfeifer, became a doctor. They even wrote about him in the papers, that during World War II he treated some resistance fighters. He was a familiar figure in the Vysocany neighborhood, on Vysocany Square [after the war renamed to People’s Militias Square, today OSN [UN] Square] there was Briedl’s Pharmacy, in which he had an apartment.

My uncle was a well-known humanitarian who treated the poor for free, and that isn’t just some made up story that people tell, because after his death it was written about it in the papers. Despite this he became relatively wealthy. He had a beautiful apartment and a car; in those days having a car meant also having a chauffeur. His apartment was beautifully furnished and arranged by an architect.

From his belongings I still have his library and furniture. He probably had larger ambitions, because he knew many university professors and doctors. His jewishness consisted of his inviting everyone over every Christmas and New Year’s. Of course at midnight there would be a traditional Christian soup called ‘prdelacka’ [literally ‘ass soup’].

He lived outside of Prague with some lady pharmacist, who of course wasn’t jewish and so his parents were always talking him out of it and forbidding him to marry her. He never did marry her, and stayed single. He died right before the war of heart disease.

Mother’s other brother, Leo Pfeifer, also had a girlfriend that wasn’t jewish, who he ended up marrying. Her name was Karla Rulfova, a poor typist. She was an immensely beautiful woman. Their marriage was a good one, and not only did she save him from the concentration camp, but at the end of the war also gave birth to his son. When I was in the concentration camp she sent me lots of care packages.

Thanks to his wife not being jewish, my uncle stayed with her in Prague. In fact they had a child during the war, which was extremely dangerous, because it was illegal for an Aryan and non-Aryan to have a child together.

Aunt Karla Pfeiferova came from a bigoted Catholic family. She remained a faithful Catholic her whole life, but one that was completely jewified. She observed Catholic holidays and visited jewish cemeteries, where she lit candles according to Catholic rites. After the war she constantly reminisced and kept saying, ‘My jews, where are my jews?’

So it would very much interest me how it looked when in her nineties she was dying in a hospice. The others would have constantly heard her, for she complained endlessly and wanted to know about those people, so she kept asking, ‘Where are my jews, where are my jews?’

When I returned from the concentration camp, my first refuge was at Uncle Leo’s and Aunt Karla’s. At first they were frightened, that I might have some sort of disease, because their son was small, having been born just before the end of the war. Later we had a bit of a disagreement, when I brought over my future wife. In the end it turned around, and my aunt and wife became fast friends.

Both were non-jews. After that my aunt wouldn’t let anyone say an unkind word about her and my wife used to go take care of my aunt when she wasn’t feeling well. It was truly some sort of Christian-jewish symbiosis. The Vohryzek and Pfeifer families were a source of deep feelings of both Czech and jewish identity.

  • Growing up

I was born on 24th November 1922, in Vysoke Myto, up above Pardubice. Our jewish Community was in Luze. The more significant holidays, if my memories of early childhood serve me right, were celebrated in Pardubice. There I had my bar mitzvah.

I have this feeling that I was born in a completely different town, country, on a different planet than all of my current friends, who I think grew up in similar conditions, and yet recall with great sentiment all the jewish holidays and jewish life. How they walked the streets with a cap – a kippah on their head, anti-Semitism, how they were persecuted. We lived and entirely Christian lifestyle. I have no memories of anti-Semitism from my youth, of course at the end of the 1930s that changed very rapidly, from day to day.

We never denied that we were jews, everyone knew that about us. It was no secret or a taboo that couldn’t be talked about. After the war I found that people avoided using the word jew. Because ‘jew’ became a swearword. The tendency not to use the word ‘jew’ existed even before the war, for example our jewish community in Luze, to which we belonged, called itself an Israelite community.

On my report card I had ‘denomination of Moses.’ These avoidances existed even then, and I think that jews chose the right approach when, as opposed to the Gypsies, who went at it from the opposite angle, they said, so what, we’re jews and if that’s a swearword for someone, that’s his problem. It changes nothing.

The word jew has become relatively common even in everyday life. And yet I do occasionally meet people, though they mean well, who say, ‘Well, you know, he’s of your faith.’ They wouldn’t say the word jew for anything. Or they say, ‘Well, him too, he’s like you, you know. He’s the likes of what you are.’ And similar verbal detours, trying to get out of saying the word jew. Especially the first while after the year 1945, that was something like a curse.

I have a few memories of some jewish holidays from earliest childhood. I recall having to read the Haggadah, that I said the mah nishtanah. But that’s about it. We didn’t have a local synagogue, only a prayer hall rented out in a private home. Once in a while, about once every three months or so, mother would send us off to the prayer hall, especially after our father died. My jewish life began when, after my father’s death, I found lots of Czech-jewish literature in his library and began thinking about it.

When my father died, my mother decided that we were going to have bar mitzvahs. My brother at least had it in some sort of celebratory fashion and according to custom got long pants [Long pants were a proclamation that according to jewish ritual, a boy had become a man]. For me there were no long pants left, so I had short pants.

I travelled to go see the rabbi in Pardubice and he told me what I would have to say. He gave it to me in Hebrew, of which I couln’t read a single letter. So he said, ‘You’ll learn it next time.’ The next time I came and stuttered. He said, ‘Nothing doing, you’ll have to read from the paper.’ I read it from the paper, and when I was finished, he said to me, ‘You’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever had here.’ So that was my pre-Hitler farewell to religion.

New Year [Rosh Hashanah] was also observed, I don’t even know why, and the Long Day [Yom Kippur] was also observed. These two were observed and my mother had a theory on this, that once a year she cleaned the whole house, so that once a year the body’s insides also has to be cleaned out [fasting], that it’s not so much about God as about that good cleaning out.

So we had to obediently starve until evening, until we got to eat again. That was really our entire religious life, because we went to the prayer hall once or twice a year, no more than that. The others [jews] were the same. Quite often there weren’t enough for a ‘minyan.’ Two or three people would show up and then had to go home again. The rabbi, who used to travel from Luze, was annoyed that he had to come when no one showed up at the prayer hall.

For example, I used to go do ‘schmerkust’ at Easter. Some boys would always come and say, ‘Come on Jiri, let’s go.’ So I took my ‘pomlazka’ [willow reeds about a meter long, braided together, that boys use to ceremonially whip girls as an Easter tradition], some sort of basket from home, and set out with the other guys, and would get eggs, a one or five crown coin – the latter rarely – occasionally a twenty or fifty, sometimes a piece of chocolate or candy, and with that triumphantly return home and that was that.

At Christmas we had a tree and always played the German song ‘Stille Nacht’ [Silent Night], a favourite in Bohemia. I did however have to have a bar mitzvah. So this was a mixed Czech-jewish upbringing, in spite of us all being jews. It wasn’t until my mother’s generation that people started to marry non-jews – in my grandparent’s generation that was unthinkable.

A student organization was founded in Vysoke Myto, originally it was Communist, then anti-German resistance; most of those people paid with their lives. This progressiveness, in quotes or not, had its roots in the past and was evident in that we for example refused religion. This ‘healthy core’ – this is how the best Communists were called – either never went to religious services at all, or went and caused a commotion.

All of us did this, whether Catholic, Protestants or jews. Thanks to these progressive ideas at the Vysoke Myto high school, I lost whatever jewish upbringing, religion, that existed there. There were interesting counterpoints, on the one hand were we the youth, there were maybe three or five of us at jewish religion classes, and we would say: ‘Why do I need, Alef, Bet [Hebrew alphabet] for me it’s enough to know A, B, C, D’ and similar things.

We were terribly radical, because of this later I never understood Hebrew at all. On the other hand there were our teachers, who were very liberal and understood each other. Always before religion class, the Catholic priest, Mr. Moucka, the Protestant minister and Rabbi Lewi would meet, walk together in the hall or outside and lead long discussions in deep mutual understanding.

Our family would meet at our house in Vysoke Myto. At Christmastime there were always thirty or forty people, jews and non-jews. Let’s say that there were eighty percent jews, maybe ninety. But for example, my parents’ and uncles’ friend Franta Ambroz wasn’t jewish, but would come over to our place for Christmas.

We were a sort of family centre, where everyone met. We even slept on the floor, because there were so many of us. At Christmas we served typical jewish food, roasted goose livers with whipped goose fat gravy. Everyone looked forward to it. Our neighbor, Mrs. Koudelova, who lived below us, used to cook for us.

  • During the war

We had a nice one-story house with a large courtyard. My mother got it from my grandfather [Moritz Pfeifer] as her dowry. It was a huge farmyard, in one section we had four rooms and an enormous kitchen, where the maids lived. In another part of the building were workshops where my mother conducted her business.

When Hitler was advancing and poverty came, we started to rent some of the rooms, where the workshops were. At that time my mother’s business was barely scraping by, we were poor and my mother had to let the servants go. The Germans moved Mr. Klazar, who worked for the revenue department and was an excellent person, into the space beside us.

There was a boarded-up door between his room and ours. We made that boarding removable. When the Germans prohibited us from listening to the radio, we used to go over to Mr. Klazar’s and listen to [Radio] London.

We were left with three rooms – the kitchen, living room, and bedroom. At this time my mother was still trying to run the business, the living room was used for receiving visits from rich customers from the surrounding region, who were for example having nightshirts embroidered.

Thus the house progressively shrank, until we were left with two rooms – the kitchen and one other room. The room was used as the receiving salon, and we lived in the kitchen. When some lady customer came, we poor boys had no place to hide.

In the end the Germans forced us out of even there, we had to move out. The Germans took over the entire building and moved in various families we didn’t know. One of the meagrest apartments, out on the courtyard gallery, was given to a lady whose children had unfortunately died, she had tuberculosis and had to be in a sanatorium. We reached an agreement with her that she would rent the apartment to us until she returned. Only thanks to this, were we able to remain in the house where I had been born.

We never had a nanny in the proper sense of the word, but our family servant Marie Polakova, who we called Mary, had an enormous influence on our upbringing. She lived in our family her entire life and also helped out in my mother’s siblings’ households. She became a part of the family. She brought up loads of children, who except for me all died in the Holocaust. Marie lived with us, in the kitchen. She became such a part of our family that she never had any boyfriend, never married, which really, from her viewpoint, was a tragedy.

When my father died, my mother had financial problems, she needed money for the household and for the business. She had to borrow money, the poor woman didn’t suspect that in the end the Germans would take it all from us anyways. Mary had some savings, so she lent us 30 thousand, which was an enormous sum in those days.

When I returned after the war, as the only family member left, Mary acted very offended. I had no idea why. Later, when she sensed that she would soon die, she wrote me that she was very annoyed that I acted in such a way, that I undoubtedly have money and that I refuse to return it to her.

I set out to go see her, her house was near Vysoke Myto, and there it came out that my mother had paid off the debt before the war, but she had given it to Mary’s sister. Of course her sister hadn’t given her anything and kept it all, because they had had a falling out. So I promised her, that although I was studying and had no money, that I’ll get some from somewhere and pay the debt off.

After all, by then that thirty thousand was worth much less than when she had lent it to us. I paid it to her and she was all overjoyed that it hadn’t been us, but her sister who had betrayed her. It was easier for her to accept her sister’s betrayal.

Shortly after it was all explained, she broke her leg and had to go to the hospital. There they told her that at her age her situation was hopeless, that she would soon die. I wrote her that I and my wife were coming to visit her. My wife bathed her and brushed her hair, Mari was overjoyed to see us, and right after our visit she died. I think that she was holding on to life so that she could see me again. So in the end we made peace.

We also had a German tutor so that we would learn German. We also had maids living in our household, who took care of it and cleaned, of course they didn’t have to do the laundry or iron, that was all done as part of the firm’s activities. When our father died and our mother didn’t have enough time for us, the maids would make us lunch and so on. Later, when we were badly off, and Hitler was approaching, our mother did everything herself and had no servants.

Up to the year 1938 I have no real memories of anti-Semitism. When I really try, I can remember two or three incidents. In fact, I remember my mother once saying, as we were talking about school, ‘He’s an anti.’ And I said, ‘What’s anti?’ And she said, ‘Well, an anti-Semite.’ And I replied, ‘So why are you saying anti? And what is it?’ So she named some teachers, who in her opinion were anti-Semitic.

As I later had the chance to find out, it was partly true and partly not. Because for example Professor Jedlicka was very right-wing, but a pronounced Semitophile. He used to come visit us during the war, which would provoke the Germans, that he was visiting jews.

Another professor, Jelinek, perhaps he was an anti-Semite, but his anti-Semitism consisted entirely of one thing: when we were studying antiquity [at school in history class] and jews, he had this peculiar trait, he swayed from side to side so that one was afraid that he would fall over. He used to rub his hands together and say, ‘Jews in those days, they were still courageous, and tried to fight for their freedom.’ and so on.

So his anti-Semitism was all based on the fact that he contrasted jews of ancient times and modern jews. The biggest anti-Semite I met later, my mother didn’t even know him yet, was Professor Zima, about whom another leftist and progressive professor, Behounek, the brother of the literary scholar, wrote that he was truly a nasty person.

I also recall this one boy, whom I used to run into in this garden through which led a walkway, and who would always jump me and say, ‘OK, Frischman, now I’ve got you.’ He would always start to beat me, and I was of course afraid of him. He never once said ‘you jew.’ To this day I don’t know why he used to do this.

One day I got up the guts and started to fight back, and beat him up, from that time on he left me alone. After the war I returned and he said, all chummily, ‘Jirko, how’s it going, you survived it, wow, you’re amazing!’ Was he an anti-Semite? Wasn’t he? That was it for anti-Semitic incidents.

I remember, in public school as it was then called, my best friend was from the poorest of families, and I had a soccer ball and he didn’t, he always ran over and said, ‘Jirko, c’mon, let’s go kick the ball around.’ I wanted to be Planicka, a famous soccer player, and he wanted to be Puc, left forward.

The two of us would kick the ball around for hours. He would attack the net and I would be in goal. When I was leaving school with all 1’s [straight A’s] and he had flunked out, I remember him complaining, ‘Jew Frischman has all 1’s and I’m flunking.’

Sometimes a ‘religious battle’ would break out in our class, and we would taunt each other – ‘Jew, jew, the devil’s gonna come for you.’ ‘Catholic, Catholic, sat on a stick.’ And ‘Evangelic,’ [Protestant] – now came a rude word – ‘shit in a kbelik [pail].’ After that things began to quickly change, as soon as Hitler came to power. At the same time, our jewishness, which had been on the decline, began to experience a resurgence.

The writer Petr Bezruc was a favorite of my father’s and I inherited this from him. I was never able to grasp whether Bezruc was or wasn’t an anti-Semite. It wasn’t until adulthood, when I looked into it, that I came to the joyful conclusion that he wasn’t. He summarized it in the sentence:

‘I, Vaclav Vasek,’ that was his real name, ‘could never have been an anti-Semite. Petr Bezruc had to be one.’ Which is to say that as a poet he had to express feelings. I was very glad that Vaclav Vasek wasn’t an anti-Semite. But then I came by his letters. I had also corresponded with him a little, before his death, and when I worked at a publishing house I acquired his letters to Bohumil Mathes, those are very anti-Semitic. I was very disappointed that my idol had once again shown himself as an anti-Semite.

After the annexation of the Czech border areas, I was sitting with a few friends at my home, and we were debating what was going to happen and how things were going to be, what the Slovaks were going to do, how to act when the Slovaks break away, and so on.

I recall that on the day of the occupation of Czechoslovakia, we were standing outside of the high school, because the doors still hadn’t been opened. And this one old friend, who after the annexation of the border areas had sat at our place and discussed politics, suddenly says, ‘You jews are now going to have to hang onto your hats, just wait, you’re going to have to hang onto your hats.’ It wasn’t just a statement of fact, it was ugly.

Things changed from day to day, they truly did, because so many times before he had been over at our place as a friend, and the next day he was saying, ‘You jews are going to have to hang onto your hats.’ Then it started. I could still attend school, one professor there was unpleasant and no matter what I did, I was the bad one and according to him I didn’t know anything.

I had two friends, one was the son of a Protestant minister, the other the son of a bigoted Catholic, we were this funny threesome. Our professor was beside himself, the Protestant didn’t bother him that much, as much as the fact that a son from a bigoted Catholic family is friends with a jew. He persecuted all three of us, of course this was nothing in comparison to what was to follow.

The fact is, that thanks to this the jews came together, before we hadn’t really associated with each other that much, even though we knew about each other. We occasionally played a game of tennis or walked about the promenade, but there were no jews among my friends.

This now changed, because more and more we were herded into a group. For me it had a fateful significance that all of those young people were suddenly leftists. I still recall how one Karel said about another Karel: ‘You know, so what? Karel will inherit the shop, and when we’re going to have Communism, then Karel will be store manager. Practically nothing will change, in fact he’ll be better off, because now, when there’s a crisis, he’s got to spend his own money, this way the state will help him out.’

This was the notion of communism. It had great significance for me, also because there was one beautiful girl there, Hanka, a painter. To this day I have a painting she did, of my brother. Hanka was going out with this one high school professor, who used to hang around with us, he wasn’t afraid.

He associated with us and promoted Communism and Marxism. An ironic twist of fate is that this person committed suicide after the year 1945. Everyone said that he did it because he was persecuted by the Communists. He had later returned to his mother’s faith, who had been a very bigoted Catholic – but that was only half of the truth.

The other half is that he reproached himself for not marrying that painter, Hanka. That if he would have married her like he wanted, she would have survived, because mixed marriages had a greater chance of survival. At that time no one knew that, though, how could he have known? On the contrary, he didn’t want to complicate her life either, that she would be accused of sullying the Aryan race.

Meeting this professor at the beginning of the war was one of the things that led me to further activities in the [Communist] Party in the concentration camp. When we came to Auschwitz, the Party promptly changed into an illegal resistance movement and united itself with Czech jews, German jews, with Zionists. Something that after the war was called the National Front, or People’s Front was created there.

The resistance movement was initiated and organized by the Party. We were very strongly organized. Now they don’t want to recognize the resistance at Birkenau 14, it’s a sad chapter, how one set of communists says, ‘We were the true resistance.’ Other communists, ‘No, you weren’t the true resistance, we were the true resistance.’ I got into the resistance via the Party. No rebellion took place, because we found out that this time we really were being transported off to work. But the resistance was prepared.

I had a brother, Frantisek, a year older than me, who was more capable, smarter, better at school and was tall and strong, a real looker. He attracted girls from at least twenty kilometers around. There wasn’t a one that he missed, and there definitely weren’t any indications of anti-Semitism there.

My brother Frantisek finished the eighth year of high school and in 1940 graduated, in Vysoke Myto. Our uncle, Josef Pfeifer, a wealthy doctor from Vysocany, wanted to pay my brother’s way to the Swiss border. He even found a guide that for a lot of money promised to lead him there.

From Switzerland he was then supposed to go to some addresses in France. God only knows how it would have ended up. It was all arranged, and our family knew about it, but said, ‘In any case he has to finish his studies and graduate.’ It was a month before my brother’s graduation, so it had to be delayed by a month. But during this time the Germans occupied Paris.

And it was Paris where my brother was supposed to be going. If he would have escaped, God knows how he would have ended up. One doesn’t know, it could have worked out, but he could also have been killed in the army. In any case I also don’t know how we would have ended up, in those days families of escapees ended badly.

The family was usually shot. So in the end my brother didn’t escape, he had to go to the concentration camp and didn’t survive. But it’s a testament, in this case a sad one, to the value that was placed on education.

I managed to finish seventh grade. Then in 1940 jews were forbidden to study in Czech schools. Our family conference once again decided: ‘He has to finish his studies. Without graduation he’ll never get anywhere in life.’ Someone in our family found out that there was a jewish high school in Brno, where I could finish my last year and graduate. So I had to go there.

I arrived in Brno, and lived with the Eisners in Cerne Pole. At that time we were still allowed to have bicycles, before we had to hand them in, so we rode on bikes, which wasn’t a problem in Brno. Thankfully the Eisners at that time still had a relatively decent apartment, I lived with them the entire time and rode my bicycle to school, summer or winter. With streetcars it was somewhat complicated, I know that I used to ride on the rearmost platform, but I don’t know if at that time it was already forbidden.

Now Petr Ginz’s diaries have been published, he was a young fourteen-year-old boy when he came to Terezin 15. He kept a diary before he went to the concentration camp, and there’s an interesting poem there that captivated me, because I realized that I myself don’t know it, in that poem he mentions one ban after another – bicycles, radios, fur coats, skis and so on and everything set to poetry, which is very interesting. Reading his diary is very interesting, he was truly gifted, it completely represents the lifestyle of that Czech jew, it beautifully shows the spiritual life of assimilants.

I came to know jewish life at the jewish high school in Brno, I have many jewish friends from that time, and from post-war times as well. In Brno I lived at my father’s sister Marie’s place. There I began to live a very intensive jewish life, not Orthodox however. There was a minority of Czech jews there.

There were German jews, also a minority, because no one wanted to identify themselves, they even tried to suppress their German pronunciation, but everyone knew that they were originally German jews. Most were jews with no attribution, simply jews, who felt as such, without saying that they are of the jewish nation. The smallest minority were Orthodox. At that time Orthodoxy was unpopular.

At high school I fit in well. I would say that I didn’t have to realize my jewish roots, because I knew them despite the fact that I lived a non-jewish life. But there I did somewhat reflect on them. We would meet and talk about Judaism.

I and my classmate Jindrich Wertheimer tried to run away out of the Protectorate 16, it didn’t work out because we didn’t know how to go about it, we didn’t know what to obtain and how, and then the Germans were advancing so quickly and we didn’t know where we should run to.

We wanted to go via Switzerland to France, but France was already occupied. It was quite naive, we didn’t realize it, but today no one takes that seriously. We tried to hold our tongues, and I think that we did, even if we did have the courage to at least write about it.

When we were then more or less ending that last school year, and Jindrich Wertheimer was in Melnice, and I was in Vysoke Myto, we definitively decided that we were giving it up, that we couldn’t have on our consciences some sort of cruel persecution and death of our parents and relatives, and we didn’t even yet know that it would come anyway, not the slightest idea.

What was most evident on our Brno class was its enormously high standard. It’s of course natural that everyone isn’t stupid, but if we ignore that, then the thing was that only the select went there, those that really wanted to finish their studies. So knowledge of German was taken for granted, there were only a couple of us that didn’t know German.

One classmate, Bekova, a poet, spoke it fluently. I was one of those that didn’t speak much, but even those who weren’t bilingual had a certain knowledge of German. I can’t tell you a percentage, but it was a lot, certainly over 50 percent, and a lot more than half already knew French, from studying it at home, so just as an example, the knowledge of languages there was exceptional.

Even among the girls there weren’t those hopeless cases that I still remember from Septima [seventh year of high school] in Vysoke Myto, those that couldn’t grasp even the simplest things and who used to say: ‘Lordy, we just don’t understand that math’. I was convinced that it was a question of education.

In Brno there were no cases like that, though now I do realize that there was at least one. This one girl, who I then tutored to make some extra money, who later became a capo [concentration camp inmate appointed by the SS to be in charge of a work gang].

Manicka was an exception, because she was quite exceptionally dumb, but I got along with her perfectly, because I mainly taught her descriptive geometry, which she couldn’t grasp at all. I taught her how two pyramids intersect each other, I tried to describe it to her. That less than capable girl later in Auschwitz became ‘Kleidungskapo,’ or block leader, in a special block where there was clothing. We walked about in rags, it was horrible, but that block was chock full of clothing. They were those that had connections, so they could dress perfectly, literally perfectly.

One classmate, who is still alive today, was telling me that when she saw Manicka, she ran over to her and said hello, and she had this little whip and immediately lashed her with it, that she didn’t want to know her. Of course I didn’t know this at the time, and also greeted her, and I have to say that for me being her teacher she was very reserved towards me, but she answered my greeting and said that she was fine and that she also hoped I was fine and behaved decently towards me. But as far as telling me: come for a scarf or something similar, because she had it all under control, that she didn’t do. Not that.

So, that was the one exception, but otherwise that class of ours in Brno was at an exceptionally high standard, and it wasn’t uncommon that people who excelled in mathematics, geometry and so on, also excelled in languages. They were very well read. Because of this I had to try very hard to catch up, it was quite a difficult situation for me, but I excelled in mathematics, physics and descriptive geometry, which I consider an honor, because it was in that class that was at such a high standard.

In Vysoke Myto I used to have all 1’s and all of a sudden there I had 3’s, which never played any important role, but does at the same time show that that high school was infected by something that I call false Zionism. We had Hebrew, it wasn’t a compulsory subject, but was relatively compulsory, that meant that we had to attend it, therefore it was compulsory, but the grade didn’t count towards our average, so that whoever had a bad mark in Hebrew could still pass with honors.

Professor Unger used to teach it to us. I knew absolutely no Hebrew, so it’s quite interesting that he and I became very good friends. Somehow he grasped my situation, that I had never had any contact with Hebrew, so he wasn’t annoyed with me at all, and the only thing that he wanted from me was for me to promise him that I would someday start to learn Hebrew. So he didn’t give me a 5 (the lowest mark) but a 4. Today I quite regret not fulfilling that promise, but I never really had the opportunity.

I am however proud that I excelled in that jewish school with high standards, in mathematics, physics and mainly in descriptive geometry. I had an uncommon ability to visualize, which has since left me. To a certain extent I was able to measure the angle of intersection of those objects and lines in my head, which was extraordinary.

From professor Filip Block, who was an excellent mathematician, linguist, literary expert and talented musician, I got a descriptive example that I as the only member of our class solved. But then he found that where there was supposed to be an intersection, that I had a gap of about two or three millimeters, that it didn’t intersect. And he said to me, ‘For me it’s enough to look at the last mark, and I know who should get what.’

That last mark was Hebrew, I got a five in it. So because he couldn’t give me a five for all three subjects, he gave me a two and in the end a three. That is of course a personal story, but it shows the spirit of that high school, that there could have existed such a professor, that that society hadn’t developed to the point where it wouldn’t have allowed that. In spite of being an uncommonly intelligent person, he was spiritually backward, for him knowledge of Hebrew was everything.

Basically the high school was divided up into Czech jews, Zionists and Communists. No-one wanted to be associated with people who were clearly of German upbringing, not only by language, but by what they said, no-one identified with Germanic identity. I recall one very bright boy, named Meitner, who later never returned from the concentration camp.

We once went on an outing on our bicycles, I don’t know if it was still permitted at that time or not. He had that German upbringing, you could tell, even if he absolutely didn’t identify himself as such. I remember asking him, ‘Listen, I’m a Czech, that other guy is a Zionist, that one’s a Communist, so what are you? You aren’t anything.’ And he started into me, why does he have to be something.

That he really is neither a Zionist, a Czech, nor a German, not for a long time, and he doesn’t have to belong to the Communists. In those days that was something unimaginable for me. I thought that everyone has to be classified somehow and somewhere.

I have to admit that to this day it’s not something that I can fully accept, but these days I know more of such people and they are mainly jews, that simply don’t identify themselves as part of any one group. It was in Brno that I first came across this, then I realized that that Meitner wasn’t alone, that he’s a human being that’s all.

I can’t imagine this, each person is somehow classifiable and has to be classifiable. There were no Orthodox jews among my classmates. Being an Orthodox jew somehow wasn’t an option. Truth be told, he would have been a laughing-stock. It seemed comical to us young people that someone would walk around in summer in a fur coat. Orthodoxy existed as a concept that we knew was out there, but really nothing more.

About a month before I was to do my graduation exams, the Moravian provincial inspector came around. He said to us, ‘Do you know that you won’t be graduating?’ We said, ‘Unfortunately we already know this.’ And in front of the entire class he said, ‘I guarantee you, that after the war I will confirm graduation for you all, I know you and you won’t have to even write the exams.’

Which was quite courageous, even among jews, because for one, a traitor could have been present, which I don’t think likely, but of course there could have been a loose tongue that would have let it out somewhere. And that would have been the end of the poor guy.

To talk about the war in 1941 in the context of the Germans losing it, that was an obvious thing. He was absolutely convinced that there was no other option than that the Germans were going to lose the war, he told us that he guaranteed us all graduation, that he knew how good we were.

Unfortunately only four of us students returned and one professor, and in the end he got the right to confirm our graduation, even though it surely wasn’t recorded anywhere, but they believed us four and him, and in the end the promise, that the Moravian provincial inspector couldn’t himself influence any more, that promise got fulfilled.

I finished my last, eighth year at the Brno high school, but right before graduation the Germans forbade us from graduating. I got my graduation confirmation after the war, even though I never did the exams. The only professor to survive the Holocaust, Professor Weinstein, got the right after the war to give out these diplomas to those that survived – out of 29 classmates there were only four of us left. So we four got a report card signed by Mr. Weinstein that we had absolved our schooling with such good marks that it was clear that we would have passed the final exams.

I then later got two more report cards, without any final exams! This was because later I had to go to this school in Vysoke Myto and take this course for those that couldn’t finish their studies. There they didn’t forbid us from doing our final exams, but they were afraid that some of the Communists and their children that were there because of connections wouldn’t be able to pass the exams, so they said that we would be able to graduate without them.

Then the high school principal in Vysoke Myto gave me a high school diploma on the basis of a Ministry resolution, because I had had completed seven grades in Vysoke Myto with excellent marks. So I have three high school diplomas and didn’t do a single final exam, which is quite the rarity!

I left Brno for Vysoke Myto, where at first I went to work for my friend’s father, Mr. Jiracek, in his workshop. We knew that we had to work and that we needed some sort of manual trade. I worked in a mechanical workshop, we repaired bicycles and for a time also manufactured tricycles.

This experience was very useful for me later in the concentration camp. Eventually they threw me out of Jiracek’s workshop, that I’m not allowed to work in workshops, that I can’t work as an apprentice. Then I went and worked on farms, either to Netolice or for someone named Netolicky, don’t remember any more which.

There I got into the local chronicle because I managed to make a herd of bullocks bolt, which is quite the accomplishment because they’re incredibly calm animals, but I managed it, so I’m recorded in their chronicle. From there I went to Vysoke Myto to work on a farm belonging to the husband of one of my mother’s employees.

I had to work from morning to night, but it was great, because I could always bring some butter or something home. In fact during the war, up to the deportation, we didn’t suffer at all. Just the opposite. We never ate so many chickens in our lives as in those days.

That wasn’t enough for the Germans, so they drafted us to the ‘Arbeitslager,’ it was a work camp in its true sense, in that we could leave, no one guarded us, and so on. For a while I worked near Chotebor, I’m not able to say exactly from when to when, digging water canals.

Then I got a special permit to leave and be at home, because of my mother being very ill, and since no one was allowed to care for her, at least no Aryan, they allowed me to go home and take care of her. Because we had farm animals, I fed the geese and chickens, which surprisingly they hadn’t confiscated. They didn’t think of that, that jews could have geese, so as I said, we had never had it so good as far as food goes, up to our departure to the concentration camp.

So, I took care of the farm and tried to read before we had to go. My brother was sent to work on the construction of a generating station in Pardubice, and was there the whole time, but this was still an Arbeitslager, so he was allowed to go home and visit, every two or three weeks, always on a Sunday he’d be allowed to go home.

They left my mother at home until our departure, because of her illness. Try as I might I can’t remember when they took the embroidery business away from us, but I think she was at home for about a year or year and a half.

We left Vysoke Myto for Terezin on 2nd December 1942, as still a whole family. We arrived there on 5th December, and stayed together during our time there. I remember when we were getting onto the Terezin transport, it was very interesting, one of the merriest days. For us kids it was a gas, we were young and didn’t have a clue as to what was really happening.

The Czech railways gave us a passenger car, so we were sitting there with no worries and having fun and saying, ‘And they think that they’re going to take us to Pardubice, and from Pardubice, by then we’ll know that we’re going to Terezin, and that it’s going to stun us or something? After all, they’re already defeated.’ It was all a big laugh.

Well, the laughing stopped when we came to the assembly area from which we were leaving Pardubice for Terezin. There the blows started flying, there the shooting started, I don’t know if anyone was actually shot or if they were just warning shots. It was the breaking point.

Up to then life of some sort had existed and we ignored things, we had to ignore them if we wanted to live. Even despite those extensive limitations, which people aren’t even able to imagine today, how horrible it was when we weren’t allowed to walk on the sidewalk, we weren’t allowed into the movie theatre, into the woods, to the swimming pool and so on. Despite that we always found something, like getting together and playing chess for example.

I should perhaps say one more thing, that we had never had it as good as before our departure for Terezin. People actually would bring us bread, butter, smoked meat, everything; at that time they already knew that we’d be deported.

It was forbidden to bring us things, dangerous, our neighbor was a German and she used to report us. But someone would always manage to slip through, they would wait until Mrs. Nekvinova would go out somewhere and then bring us something.

If I ate like that these days, I’d be twice as fat as I am now. So that moment, not arrival at Terezin, but at that assembly point in Pardubice, that was the enormous breaking point that showed us what all Terezin was going to be.

In Brno at high school I made friends that then later helped me very much in the concentration camp. One professor, today very well known, Eisinger, took a liking to me as the best student of Czech, but at the same time made a great impression on me as a Communist at the school I’m going to talk about in a moment.

He drew me into a cell of the best Communist professors. They were professors Eisinger, Zwinger and Kohn. When I arrived in Terezin, Eisinger told me, ‘You have to get into the children’s home. As a teacher, not a student, because it’s all about life or death here.

You’ll get there by going to see Lenka, your classmate, whose mother is an important Zionist functionary, and they have control over the youths, she’ll get you in there.’ So I went to see Lenka like he told me. And I really did get through the Communists to the Zionists, and through the Zionists I got into the best children’s home.

First though I got into this children’s home, where I was supposed to show if I was capable, because it was completely falling apart. In about two months I had it all fixed up, then Ota Klein came to see me, he was a familiar figure, and said:

‘All right, from today you’re with me.’ I went to L 417, where a magazine called Vedem 17 was being put out by Petr Kincl. L 417 was divided up into classes, each class  had a group and that group was also called a ‘home.’ So there the word home had two meanings – ‘sub-home’ and ‘home’ you could say. All of L 417 was a home and within it there were individual homes.

There in L 417 I worked with a person that later became well-known, Jiri Kohnig, who after the war was a professor of medicine. He was my boss. I was a ‘Betreuer,’ which in Hebrew is madrich, a male nurse, but we were teachers, nurses and friends to those children.

Professor Eisinger was in the home next door, I was in constant contact with him, then he left for Auschwitz before I did and died there. A few people that remember him say that he lost all of his spark, that he realized that survival wasn’t possible and that he became an embittered pessimist. He was quite a big and important man.

In L 417 I got to test the knowledge I had from Scouts, how to deal with younger children, even though I myself was still young. I discovered the talent for teaching in myself, which then never left me. Only when they later threw me out and I had to work on the railway did I stop working as a teacher. That means that I’ve been a teacher from the concentration camp [ghetto] right up to my retirement at the Charles University Faculty of Philosophy in Prague.

When someone was in Terezin, he would say that it couldn’t be lived through, how could such horrors exist. But when he then came to Auschwitz, he then said, ‘blessed Terezin, how wonderful it had been’. And how terrible Auschwitz is, how great a horror it is. From a distance Terezin still resembled life, perhaps by the fact that after work you really had time off.

In Terezin at least the young and middle aged people survived, you could manage to not die of hunger there. But Auschwitz really was about dying of hunger. It was known that Terezin was much better than what awaited us in the east, but no one suspected that it was the end of life.

Today people constantly wonder, why didn’t the jews emigrate? Because we couldn’t. We had no place to go, no way to get there and nowhere to go from, because the Germans weren’t letting anyone through, they were shooting people at the border and wouldn’t give any permits to leave.

Despite everything, in Terezin a person did find a way of life. There was cultural life. Not long ago I was thinking about the fact that Terezin’s cultural life has one negative aspect, that it suppresses the horrors that existed there. The cultural life there was so exceptional and such a miracle, that many people are interested only in it. They then don’t realize the horrors, the suffering and death. Terezin’s cultural life was immense and multifaceted, operas were written, books, but the most significant were events put on for the public.

Mrs. Makarova has now published a voluminous collection on Terezin from another viewpoint, about lectures in Terezin, a very interesting book, the Czech edition is called ‘University of Survival.’ Unfortunately many people are under the impression that life in Terezin was lived in such a way that people just went from theater to theater.

Now in the summer there is a reconstructed theater there, which is completely hopeless, because the sorrow and suffering cannot be reconstructed! Plays were performed on the ground such as it was: filthy, used for, I don’t know, fifty years after the construction of those buildings, and in the case of barracks, even longer.

For example, ‘The Bartered Bride’ was performed. You cannot reconstruct that. So that deforms the impression of life in Terezin a bit. But, as I say, life in Terezin was still ideal compared to what awaited us in Auschwitz.

My brother was extremely capable and clever, so he got a job at the so-called ‘Spedition’ and was protected from the transports. He had me injected with a milk injection, which was given to me by the famous Czech actress Vlasta Schonova, so that I would get a fever. There were various tricks, to convince people that they were work camps, so the sick didn’t have to go.

After that milk injection I fell ill, and then I remained the whole year in Terezin. My brother in fact went to Auschwitz voluntarily, because he didn’t want our mother to go there alone. He didn’t succeed in having her removed from the list, so he went voluntarily with her. Our mother went immediately to the gas chambers. My brother lasted there for a half year as a plumber, and then he died of pneumonia.

The last time I saw my mother was in Terezin, when she came to visit me in the hospital. I was lying there with a fever, so I don’t have any concrete memories of her visit. My mother was very sensitive, she didn’t want to upset me, so she held herself back when she was saying farewell to me.

When my work in the children’s home ended – in the Kinderheim, where I was that ‘Betreuer,’ I was transferred to war manufacture. In Terezin the Germans erected a large tent and that’s where we worked. We manufactured car motor heaters. When their vehicles froze up in Russia they had to think of some solution, after all they were quite clever, so they came up with these gas heaters that heated up the motor from below without damaging it, and the vehicles could continue on.

We manufactured these in that tent in the town square. Each enterprise, in the wider sense of the word, such as a kitchen or our children’s home, was required to send a couple of people into war manufacture. I was the youngest of the ‘Betreuer,’ so it fell to me. I worked in the heater plant during my last month in Terezin.

People that worked here in that German Wehrmacht factory were automatically exempt from transport. But various tricks and frauds were perpetrated – who had the means, pulled his friend from the transport and stuck someone else in their place, like perhaps someone working in war manufacture.

So it happened that suddenly I received a summons for transport. It was a question of a half day, during which I could certainly have gotten an exception, that I was indispensable, that I’m working in war manufacture. But I said to myself, here I’m alone, and my mother is there, it never even occurred to me that she could be dead, my brother is there, he’s already settled there, he’s a clever guy, he’ll certainly already have some good job.

In that sense I went voluntarily. I don’t know why so many people can’t grasp this. Everyone that looks at what we lived through and at those concentration camps, judge it from today’s perspective. They ask, why? Everyone knew that it was worse there, but I said to myself, ‘I’ll be with my brother.’

And my brother was an immensely capable and strong young man, I would have liked to be able to depend on him again. Well, so I simply voluntarily left for Auschwitz, not making use of the fact that I was protected. I expected to meet up with my mother and brother there, and of course I was very, very surprised when I arrived there. These are things that are hard to imagine today.

I got onto the transport on 15th December 1943, and arrived in Auschwitz on 17th December. In general I’m sure people know what it meant to arrive in Auschwitz. As soon as we got off, they confiscated our luggage, there was noise, beatings, basically everything so that we would realize that Terezin was ideal in comparison.

The first few days there were quite an adventure. I am sometimes amazed at my courage then, the things that I did. But already on the way there I met Ari, the son of Jakob Edelstein, who was a so-called ‘Lagerältester’ [camp elder] in Terezin. He was the jewish mayor of Terezin, who of course had minimal powers. But despite that he managed to accomplish something.

His son Ari attended our school in L 417. Ari took a big liking to me, so he went to see Fredy Hirsch 18, and told him that he wanted me to be his teacher again.

Fredy Hirsch was an amazing man, very intelligent and courageous, even the Germans paid attention to him, because he had this direct way of staring and looked so unafraid, later they killed him as well. He accomplished a real miracle, he stood his ground and managed to wring a children’s home out of them, first one, then another.

He had the courage to stand up to the SS, he reasoned with them, that the children are going to get in the way during roll calls, because children also had to present themselves at roll call, that they are going to be in the way during assembly for work details, and that it would be simpler to have them all in one place somewhere and a couple of people to take care of them. So in this way he managed to create blocks where the children were gathered and divided up into groups.

Just for interest, my placement went via two paths, because I was an organized party member, so the Party also pressed Hirsch that he has to take on some of their members, which was lifesaving. Young Ari Edelstein did a lot for me, he was plucky and took a liking to me. He gave me some money, which got me cigarettes, and that meant food, and so on and on. But the Edelsteins ended up badly.

After a short time they led Jakob Edelstein, his wife, even little Ari away. First they shot the son in front of his parents, then they shot the wife in front of Jakob Edelstein, and finally they shot him too.

Hirsch said to me, ‘I’ve already heard of you, come over!’ I think that one thing that also helped me was that I was ‘well dressed.’ That was very important, because he saw that immediately after arrival, I was already capable of scaring up some decent clothing and shoes – which was no mean feat and showed that I was probably a capable person.

When we arrived, they bathed us, shaved us bald, tattooed us, and then we went to the sauna where they disinfected us. We stood there naked and then the ‘Kleidungskapo’ [something like a clothing warden] threw us whatever clothing he had at hand. Luckily I got these black pants made from decent material, a shirt, and a brown light jacket, it wasn’t very warm clothing, but since I then worked inside it didn’t matter so much. But during roll calls I froze.

What was important, we all arrived with decent shoes, I had these beautiful high lace-up ‘army’ boots. Even before we got through all the insane entrance procedures, this boy came into our quarantine area, gave me the once-over, including my boots and said, ‘Give me those boots and I’ll give you something decent, otherwise you’ll be in wooden shoes, you won’t get socks, I’ll give you socks and some decent shoes.’ And I believed him, I don’t know if it was intuition or that I had already managed to have a look around and knew that it was true.

So we agreed on how we’d find each other later, I then gave him those army boots, which he then proudly wore and I would look at them with envy, and he gave me socks and shoes. Normal shoes, but decent ones, which was a real scoop there, because they stayed on your foot, a person could walk normally, in that freezing cold normal shoes were still better than the wooden shoes that everyone froze in. And I think that that was also one moment that influenced Hirsch. He saw that in the space of one or two days I managed to get myself some shoes, which was a definite plus, when a person knew how to go about things.

Fredy said to me, ‘Come tomorrow, and we’ll see.’ I went to work for only about one day and that was murderous work, almost impossible to live through without a large dose of luck. So the next day I of course immediately ran over to Fredy and he said, ‘OK, you can start.’ The children’s block had some chairs, and that was about all.

Later they even painted it [this means that the painter Gottliebova was allowed to paint pictures on the bare walls, which is a very unusual story], but we weren’t allowed to have any teaching aids, we were allowed to teach, but there wasn’t anything to teach from, they already knew that those children were going to die, so they mercifully let us teach. They didn’t really care whether we were teaching or not, while in Terezin teaching was not allowed.

We sat and around us sat the children. We sat next to each other, we had no paper, no pencils, and everything depended on how a person was able to tell stories and what he was capable of. I think that I showed that I had a broad knowledge of literature, that I could recite the history of Czech literature from memory, at that time they were interested in Czech literature, not German or Hebrew, and that I could talk about geography:

I had the atlas memorized, so I could for example talk about how one would get to Palestine. I was able to enthrall those children for the whole half day. I had a decent knowledge of history, today I wouldn’t know it like that, also something of philosophy, which was of interest to those fifteen year old boys.

I didn’t know how to sing, which was a problem. But I did manage this one small miracle, I put together a collection of Czech poetry, this little textbook. That meant that first I had to scare up some paper. We were allowed to receive packages, so I had to cut the [wrapping] paper to size.

In Birkenau, scissors were a rarity. To cut it up and iron out the pieces, that was a major problem. I also cut these cardboard [from packages, which were later allowed to be sent] covers, in the middle of the front cover I glued a white paper square [about 7x7 cm] and I recall that to this day, I can’t draw at all, but I did manage to draw on it some picture of a landscape with a building, probably a school.

The next problem was ink. I tried to make some myself – someone advised me that it could be made out of ashes – but that didn’t work for me. Finally by some miracle I managed to get a pen and some ink from somewhere, and so I began to write.

In those days I had a prodigious memory, to this day I think about those poems that I used to know, I don’t think I’d be able to recite them today. I had Bezruc almost all memorized, of course I also knew large portions of Macha, also Viktor Dyk and many other poems. I also asked my colleagues, who gladly recited things from memory for me, so in the end it was a beautiful creation. Forty or fifty Czech poems, which I then lent to some of the other teachers. We read those poems and strangely enough it got the interest of those boys.

Maybe because they saw how it came about. I don’t know if children are really that interested in literature, but when I was presenting Czech poetry to them, they really did pay attention and asked questions. I knew a lot of war poetry, and particularly that interested the children, they could understand it, after all, they also had personal experiences with the war. To this day I’m proud of that work, that I managed to put together material for that collection of Czech poetry in such difficult conditions.

When we meet today, we are finding out that the ‘Betreuer’ had the highest survival rate out of everyone. Let’s say that there were a hundred ‘Betreuer’ and that thirty of forty of them survived, which is an enormous number. There were ten thousand of the others and only two hundred of them survived. It’s simply a huge percentage of ‘Betreuer’ that lived through it.

The writer Primo Levi writes that everyone who survived did so at someone else’s expense. [Levi, Primo (1919-1987): Jewish-Italian memoirist, novelist and poet, active in resistance during WWII, captured and taken to Auschwitz, best-known for his autobiographical trilogy ‘Survival in Auschwitz,’ ‘The Reawakening’ and ‘The Periodic Table.’] In its own way it’s true, if I hadn’t been a ‘Betreuer,’ I would have died while building some road and someone else would have been that ‘Betreuer’ and would have survived. Primo Levi wasn’t able to live with this thought, that he is alive instead of someone else. I have to say that I’ve been living with it for years and years with a view that it was fate.

We get together and every little while someone talks about where he had been a ‘Betreuer.’ They’re also people that have a clean conscience, because it’s not as if they did something bad back then. If someone was a boss, a cook and so on, that was after all different.

We were inside where it was warm and taught children, instead of spreading gravel on a road in the freezing cold with our hands, because there were next to no tools. Or if when there was widespread hunger, and some person took the piece of meat intended for the entire camp and cut off half of it for his own dinner, that’s a difference. We didn’t have to go out into the freezing cold, we didn’t have to perform hard physical labor and were always together. An intellectual society that constantly held together intellectually, that was why relatively many ‘Betreuer’ survived.

My aunt Marie – my mother’s cousin and the wife of my father’s brother, Rudolf Frischmann – used to distribute soup. Those people were then allowed to scrape out the soup pots, so each one of them managed to scrape out at least one full canteen. It was only the leftovers at the bottom, but at least it was the thickest. My aunt ate extremely little, she was all skin and bones and I’m amazed that she managed to carry it all.

Her daughter died, she went to the gas chamber. So my aunt became completely fixated on me. For her I was a substitute for her daughter, and at the same time I was more important for her than herself. She took great care of me, quite often there would be soup for dinner or supper, so thanks to my aunt I had relatively enough to eat for those conditions, I didn’t suffer from that enormous hunger.

We also organized a rebellion in Auschwitz. It also had various ups and downs, though with the realization that a rebellion would be hopeless. I was a member of the resistance in Auschwitz. A large portions of jews and Czechs didn’t trust the German-Russian agreement 19, they suspected some sort of fraud, and rightly so as it turned out.

At that time jews were becoming members of the already illegal Communist Party. There was no party ID, I can’t give an exact date, in fact even before I entered the concentration camp I was surrounded by some Communists, then in the concentration camp I became a direct member of a Communist cell.

In Birkenau my party chief came to me and told me that the gas chambers are waiting for us. Not only the Communists were organized, the Zionists, members of Sokol, Czech jews also agreed among themselves to organize an uprising. So these ‘troikas’ [groups of three] arose. One was a Zionist, one a Czech and one was something else. I was in a ‘troika’ with this one guy who was already at that time a Zionist.

You see, people changed a lot, because they had the impression that their particular faith had let them down, so Zionists became Communists, Communists became Czech jews, Czech jews became Zionists and so on. Avi Fischer, who was in my ‘troika,’ was a big Czech jew and then later left for Palestine, but he was a swell guy.

On the other side I had Kurt Sonnenberg, who was a German, a jew of course, but otherwise German to the core. But I think that he was honest. Because he was ‘Vorarbeiter’ – work group leader, a ‘preparation’ master – so after the war they put him on trial, I had to take his side, if only because we were in that ‘troika’ and he was also preparing for the uprising.

Our work was minimal. We were to obtain matches, you can’t very well imagine what it meant to try to find matches in Auschwitz. Besides that we were to find blankets, those we more or less had, and containers for water. Our plan was the following: when the time comes for us to go to the gas chambers, we’ll set our straw mattresses on fire to create confusion. We’ll throw wet rags, that’s why the water, on the electric fence to short it out. And then we’ll run towards the partisans. We even had a map, which thanks to money from Avi Edelstein we got from the Polack Leshek.

Money – marks was found by ‘my’ children on the road leading through the center of the camp, did someone lose it, or place it there on purpose? They didn’t know what to do with it, so they brought it to me. I exchanged it ‘through the wires’ for food, two hundred cigarettes – which were later to play a big role – and a map of Auschwitz’s surroundings.

I gave it to the leader of the resistance Lengsfeld – named Lenek after the war – he gave it to Avi Fischer, who made copies. To this day I have no idea if it was ‘my’ map, or if Lengsfeld’s version was correct, that the map was ‘stolen’ from the SS headquarters by prisoners on cleaning duty. If it was ‘my’ map they used, then to this day I don’t know if it was a real map.

Avi Fischer was in my ‘troika’, and copied the map, which of course presented him with all sorts of problems – finding paper, pencils and so on. Avi Fischer unfortunately died. We were friends, but I never asked him about it, I just never got around to it to asking him how that map looked.

These are all of course terrible tragicomedies. I had gotten the map from that Polack for marks which Ari Edelstein had given me before his death. Leshek was in the camp next door, on the other side of some electrified barbed wire. It was possible to talk through the fence, it was dangerous, but possible. So Leshek says to me one day, ‘Listen, you better give it all back to me, those marks are counterfeit,’ We couldn’t yell much through the wire, there were guards after all, who could start shooting, so we couldn’t talk long, so I said:

‘How do you want me to return cigarettes? They’ve all been smoked. We’ve eaten the food, I can’t get it back. I had no idea those marks were false.’ And he says, ‘You know, it doesn’t matter. You gave me counterfeit marks, I gave you a counterfeit map.’ Imagine the tragicomedy! I’ll never know.

Lenek is dead, Fischer as well, so no one knows whether that map that they were reproducing in case of escape was real or not. That can’t be ascertained any more. Or perhaps Lengsfeld-Lenek, whom I had given my map, really did get a map from the SS headquarters, as he claimed he did.

In any case, when the transport that had arrived before us went to the gas chambers, our ‘troika’ became very active and we had the feeling that it was time for action. But we couldn’t do anything more than keep collecting rags, matches and water in case the uprising came. This has led to the fact that the resistance is underrated, that we didn’t accomplish much. The question is, whether we should have rebelled.

We knew that those to whom the Germans had claimed that they are going to work, were all murdered. One day we also found out that we were to go to work in Germany. When we were preparing the resistance, there was a motto: ‘One to two percent of prisoners can be saved.’ It’s better to save two percent than for one hundred percent to go off like sheep into the gas chambers.

In the resistance everyone couldn’t know about everyone else, so that in the case of interrogation everything wouldn’t be found out. Therefore I was only supposed to know about the two men in our ‘troika’ – Fischer and Sonnenberg, but I knew some others from the ‘Heim’ [‘Kinderheim,’ children’s home] and also a few from the Party, including the ‘resistance head,’ Hugo Lengsfeld = Pavel Lenek.

When they were dissolving our prison camp in Auschwitz, I had no choice but to go. We marched from the camp, ostensibly to go work in Germany, however at first it looked like we were on our way to the gas chambers. I had a friend behind me, who I knew was also in the resistance, we weren’t allowed to talk, there were SS with rifles everywhere. But a person learned to talk without it being perceivable, I don’t think I’d be able to do it now.

And so we said, ‘What’s up? Are we going to the chambers? Are we still going to rebel? Or are we going to give up on this life?’ And then we saw that we had begun to move and that we were going to the ramp, where the trains arrived and departed. So I finally got out of Auschwitz when Hitler found that he had too few workers, and that better than to kill people just for being jews, is to work them to death, simply to let them work until they dropped, but so that they are doing something useful.

When there were air-raids, I twice saw an SS soldier crap himself. During the raids we had to move about there, and once on the other hand I saw a brave SS soldier, who ran about with his revolver commanding us about, so that we would pull the burning wagons apart from each other and put them out one by one so that if one exploded it wouldn’t cause the others to explode.

He was running about among us, if there had been an explosion he would have been a goner along with us. I always tell people that I’m afraid when I talk about the concentration camp, that I talk about those exceptions, with regards to the SS, even some of those humorous scenes that distort the picture, because the evil ones, the bestial ones, of course full of fear for themselves, were 99 percent of them.

A big book about uprisings in concentration camps came out, and there isn’t much there about our resistance movement, only a couple of lines, as if it hadn’t existed. Allegedly it wasn’t resistance, when there wasn’t a single shot fired and no one fell. But that isn’t true! Unfortunately a rivalry arose, between the main camp at Auschwitz and us at Birkenau.

The main camp truly did have a well organized resistance, but they didn’t rise up either. In fact we had considered cooperating with the main camp – after all, there was movement between the two – for example locksmiths used to go from one to the other, so they could have brought over some information, provided a connection.

The resistance in the main camp wasn’t interested in our planned uprising though! Here there was a real rivalry, because the main camp [Auschwitz I.] said: the end of the war is approaching, and such an uprising will cost more lives than if we wait for the war to end. Even in the eventuality that departure for the gas chambers will be drawing near, and we rise up, they refuse to join us; that it doesn’t make any sense any more, the end of the war is approaching, and more people will die than just waiting for the end of the war.

If I’m to talk openly, there was likely some anti-Semitism involved, because the main camp at Auschwitz, that wasn’t really a jewish camp, while we, Birkenau, that is BIIb, were expressly a purely jewish camp. So from today’s viewpoint our resistance is neglected, not acknowledged, and I think that we’re being done a great injustice. Perhaps the resistance movement of the main Auschwitz camp has also done us a great injustice.

This lasts to this day – when the chairman of the Auschwitz Historical Group, Bartek, had a lecture regarding the Auschwitz resistance, he didn’t mention even a word regarding the fact that an uprising had also been planned in Birkenau.

I’m a member of this Auschwitz Historical Group, so I also asked to speak, and added that Birkenau also had a highly organized resistance, of which I had been a member, that it should be taken into account. He told me that such a remark must be made in writing, so I submitted it in writing, and he nevertheless did not publicize it anywhere.

So I rebelled and at the next opportunity I forcefully expressed myself, and it ended up that the group’s internal magazine for historians, named ‘Auschwitz,’ published my protest, that there had also been a resistance movement in BIIb. That’s interesting, that all of a sudden it was too little for them that we had merely been preparing for it.

Another thing that’s interesting. After I came out with this, some former prisoners said this to me, orally and without witnesses: ‘you’re telling us something here and you don’t have any witnesses, no one else has written about this.’ And almost as if to spite them, right at that time a book by Karel Roden, ‘Life Inside Out,’ came out, and there he even writes that he smuggled revolvers into BIIb.

He doesn’t say how many, I think probably one or two, but even that shows that we meant it seriously! Karel Roden was allowed out of the camp, because he was hauling some garbage out, so he was allowed to go in and out. He didn’t know me or that I existed, we had no agreement, but what he wrote furnished proof that there was organized resistance in Birkenau and that it was meant seriously.

From Auschwitz we went to a gasoline refinery in Schwarzheide, where they made artificial gasoline from coal. It’s between Dresden and Berlin.

On 1st June 1944 I boarded the transport and was in Schwarzheide that same day or the next. There, there were no children’s homes, there I had to work extremely hard. It was dangerous as well. But the food was a little better, because they wanted us to be able to work. These were small differences. The knowledge that the front, which we could sometimes hear, was approaching, that was fabulous.

While I was in Schwarzheide, if a person said he was sick, he didn’t have to go to work, but of course had to show up at roll call and had to do the cleaning up, and be available. I was ill and was in the camp, and suddenly they were calling out through the entire camp, as was the practice:

‘Is there somebody here that knows how to fix a bicycle?’ So I said to myself: of course I know how to fix a bicycle – after all in Vysoke Myto before the war I worked in a mechanical workshop. So I told them I could, and they led me off under guard to the SS camp next door, where the commander came over to me, the ‘Lagerführer’ [camp commander] or SS commander of the entire camp, the most feared man among all the SS. They called him ‘Rakoska’ [cane] because he always walked about with a cane and whenever he could he would whack people with it.

This commander brought me a bike which didn’t work, it was in bad shape... And now: ‘Can you put it together?’ And I said, ‘Well, if there’s nothing missing and if the tires can be blown up and you have a pump, I’ll put it together.’ He said, ‘Well, try inflating the tires first, try it.’ I said, ‘I have no tools.’ So he said, ‘They’ll bring you some.’ And they brought everything that I needed; now, I knew what I was doing. I could see that that bicycle needed to have everything lubricated and cleaned, so I took it apart down to the last screw.

He gave me a room at my disposal, even paper so that no screws would be lost, since there were of course no spare parts, so I had it all taken apart, and he came by and saw it and said, ‘Well, if you don’t put that bike back together, I’ll shoot you!’ Which with him was no joke, he meant it completely seriously. I said, ‘I’ll put it together.’ And well and truly...they even brought me some grease and so on, back then it was no problem for me, I don’t think I’d be able to do it now. Anyways I put the bike back together and saw that everything was fine.

He came over to me, and said, ‘All right, now get on it so that I can see that it works.’ I got scared and said, ‘And you’ll shoot me for riding on an SS bicycle.’ He said, ‘My SS word, that you can ride around in the courtyard here, I won’t do anything to you.’ So I got on it and rode around, he let me ride for a little bit, not too long, then he started beaming – that multiple murderer; upon which he sat on the bike and rode back and forth, braked, accelerated again.

When he was finished, all of a sudden he said: ‘Warte!’ [‘Wait!’]. He brought two canteens full of food and that’s not all. This mass murderer now said to me, ‘Eat!’ And I said, ‘You know, I’m terribly hungry, but I can’t eat all this no matter what I do.’ He said, ‘So take it with you to the camp.’ And I said, ‘They won’t let me into the camp with this, they’ll shoot me at the gate.’ ‘So hand it over the fence. Do you have a friend there?’ I said, ‘Yes, I do.’ Which I really did. And so I said, ‘So then that one over there will shoot me...’, and I pointed at the guard in the tower, which were around our camp and between our camp and the SS camp. 

And he said, ‘No they won’t, come with me!’ And so this criminal went to the SS officer that was in the tower and said to him, ‘Alles in Ordnung’ [‘That’ll be OK.’]. And I was allowed to call my friend Karel Fisher, Fishi we used to call him, who as luck would have it was also off sick that day. I called over the fence:

‘Have them call Fishi, tell him to immediately come to the wire with two canteens.’ In a bit a completely terrified Fishi ran over, carrying two canteens, ‘Rakoska’ guarded us, and we dumped the food from those SS canteens into the prison canteens. Fishi quickly ran back to be as far as possible from the wire, so that no one would shoot him, and I left in absolute calm – of course accompanied by SS soldiers – back to our camp. In fact I’m not sure whether that SS officer shook my hand, which likely never happened to anyone else.

‘Rakoska’ was shot when the SS were escaping, Fishi is still alive, I’ll have to write him so he can confirm that it’s true, because anyone who knew ‘Rakoska’ wouldn’t believe it. I’ve thought about it many times, and think about it to this day, that even in that supreme criminal there was a bit of something childlike, that he was overjoyed that he could ride on a bike that he scrounged up from somewhere, it was impossible to find a bike then, he didn’t have anyone to fix it, and that childlike glee of his expressed itself in friendly behavior towards a prisoner that he otherwise totally despised from the bottom of his heart.

Our factory was bombed. Always when the tall factory chimneys started to give off smoke, that meant that production had started. So when they started smoking, that same day a reconnaissance plane appeared, made a little smoke circle in the sky, and in four to five hours planes appeared and dropped bombs on the plant. I lived through many air raids there, some of them also hit the concentration camp, which cost additional lives and wounded.

During one of them, when I was running from the factory to be at least in the camp, I was wounded. It was 17th March 1945 and I got what was perhaps a piece of shrapnel in the legs. I couldn’t walk any further, and an SS officer wanted to shoot me, but I got up and ran – it was about fifty meters – I ran those fifty meters all the way.

When I finished running I fell down and could no longer bend my leg. That’s psychology, later I asked a doctor about it and he said that everything is possible, that much about people is still undiscovered. After that I couldn’t move the leg any more.

One fellow prisoner – who died recently – carried me on his back from the camp gates, where I had literally fallen, to this caricature of a bomb shelter in the camp. After the raid was over, I crawled to my barracks and then to the camp hospital, where, while I was fully conscious, they pulled fragments from my knee, apparently more from shattered stone than the bomb itself.

When the front came close even to Schwarzheide, which is close to Berlin, they carted us off on 15th April 1945 by bus, through burning Berlin to Sachsenhausen 20. Those of us that were wounded. We of course had no idea what was going on, we rode a bus through burning Berlin, and when we arrived in Sachsenhausen, they stood us in a row and left us standing there, hungry and ill.

I had both knees shot through, we stood there and waited to see what would happen, we had no clue. You never had a clue. Then one SS soldier came over, whether it was meant ironically or if he wanted to help us I don’t know, he said, ‘Kein Gas mehr, ihr könnt’ gehen.’ That they don’t have gas anymore. We were standing in front of a gas chamber, they wanted to gas us – this is what saves a person’s life, coincidences like this.

If we had arrived a few hours earlier, I would have died in a gas chamber. While a similar coincidence, completely senseless, took someone else’s life. So we stood there in front of that gas chamber, and not until that SS soldier came and said, ‘You can go, there’s no more gas,’ did we find out why we were standing there. Of course we scattered.

There wasn’t all that much solidarity, in the last concentration camp it was horrible, there was no place to lie down, nothing to eat. This is all described in Jiri Frankl’s book ‘The Burning Heavens.’ Jiri lived through it all along with me. He describes those last few days, when we were completely starved, because no one gave us anything to eat and we were emaciated. He describes how he crawled among the refuse, picking through it to try and find a bit to eat.

Life is simply terribly complicated, at that moment there was some Ukrainian woman also crawling in front of him, and her skirt hitched up – all of a sudden her legs were entirely bare. This started to turn him on, but not for long, because after all a potato was more important. He writes about his best friend, my friend also, who is walking in the death march 21, and knows that he can’t go on.

Because he has good boots, he gives him his boots and says, ‘Here are my boots, I’m going to go and stay in the back, they’ll shoot me.’ The very end of the war, but he just couldn’t go on. He also describes how two friends tried to escape, they caught one of them and right at the end of the war they executed him

Another prisoner, Edy [Alfred] Kantor, wrote a book ‘The Book of Alfred Kantor’ – this person had an incredible memory. Kantor took the same path as I, he drew during his time in the concentration camp and managed to save a couple of pictures.

Especially right after the war ended, Kantor was in a bad way, he went to the hospital, where he sat and drew. He had an artist’s memory, he could remember which SS uniform had what uniform facings, he drew Terezin and Auschwitz, what the crematoriums really looked like, even though it’s a bit hard to make out, because it’s dark and flames are shooting out of them. He also drew Schwarzheide, where we manufactured gasoline, you can see the air raids, he faithfully recorded everything in his book.

Kantor and I parted ways in Schwarzheide, he went on a death march and I left via bus, through burning Berlin to Sachsenhausen. I realized that Hitler’s primary goal was extermination of the jews, and only after that was war. Our bus trip illustrates this thought of mine.

We wounded left Schwarzheide by bus because we couldn’t walk. I got shrapnel in the knee, so I had it straightened out and had to sit beside the driver, who was Dutch. My leg was freezing but I heard and saw everything. We drove through burning Berlin, which as a humanist shouldn’t cause me joy, to see what a bombed-out city looks like.

Our driver was incredibly courageous, from that time on I have the greatest respect for the Dutch. We drove on, and in both directions marched German soldiers, they had their orders, but I can’t comprehend that not a one of them rebelled, even the crippled marched. All of a sudden an SS officer stops us, opens the door and says, ‘Everyone out! We’ll load on our wounded!’ And the SS soldiers with us couldn’t manage even a word, while our Dutch driver says, ‘These are jews!’ And that officer shut the door and left.

It was almost mystical, that when someone gave an order that this bus will transport jews, it was not to be argued with. He couldn’t have known where he was driving us, which was to be gassed in Sachsenhausen, where there was a small gas chamber.

The German soldiers that were retreating, had no idea why jews were riding in that bus, they had no idea that we were destined for death, which thank God missed me. Jews were something completely outside the human community. And when someone issued the order that we were going via this bus, that was not to be argued with. When the front was collapsing, trains carrying jews to the gas chambers had priority over army trains – that’s something not widely known.

The gas chambers functioned up to the last moment. Hitler was abnormal, now they write that he kissed some child or something, so he was so normal! That’s stupid. I think that to this day there is no psychological evaluation of how he influenced that entire nation, that they all stopped seeing jews as something human.

April 21 was the liquidation of Sachsenhausen, the death march from Sachsenhausen. The SS ran about and yelled, ‘Alle raus’ [‘Everyone out!’] and ‘let’s go on the death march’, of course they didn’t call it a death march. Everyone who went got a loaf of bread. Where they managed to find a loaf of bread for everyone in those times is a mystery to me.

A loaf of bread and a piece of salami, something that we had never ever seen there. I had already decided that I was going. I said to my friend Zdenek Elias, who later became a well-known emigrant, ‘OK, I’m going as well.’ Zdenek announced that he wasn’t going.

I told him that whoever stays behind in the camp will be shot. He just raised himself up a bit, looked at me and said, ‘Well, isn’t it better to be shot than to go marching with those shot-up legs? To march with pain and then be shot anyways? Isn’t it simpler to stay here?’ I said, ‘You’re right.’

A person becomes so cynical that he doesn’t realize that it’s the last day and that he should still want to try to get through it. So I pulled my blanket up over my head, the camp was empty and all of a sudden we had enough room.  I slept and suddenly the ringing of a bell woke me up, and there were two Russian soldiers standing out on the assembly square and ringing the bell.

I ran over to them, like a proper party member I had been studying Russian, so I spoke my Slavic pidgin to them, which I know to this day and which I call Russian. I talked with them and they were all happy. I’m probably the only person that got a watch from Russian soldiers. The one said, here you go, ‘Davaj, beri, beri.’ [I’m giving, take, take]. And gave me a watch, the second one gave me chocolate, American cigarettes, and a raincoat, which I wore at home for a long time afterward. That was my liberation.

Then I argued with fellow prisoners and historians where the Soviet soldiers had come from. ‘You didn’t recognize that they were Polish soldiers,’ and I said, ‘No, they spoke Russian.’ I did know enough Russian to recognize that. They then figured out that it was a Soviet scout team and after that came the Polish army and liberated the camp.

Then I had other experiences, these were already humorous incidents, like how the Germans were afraid of me, when I was carrying a bloody axe, because I had been butchering rabbits. And sad things, how around us from those that had survived there laid corpses of people who died because they had overeaten the first day. I held myself back, in that the first day I only ate potatoes, even though we suddenly had everything we could want.

  • After the war and later life

You can’t imagine what SS supplies looked like. The war was over, there were these SS barracks, so full of food, whatever you could think of! Cans of food, lard, full hutches of fattened angora rabbits. And all this was suddenly at our disposal. After that hunger some people lost control over themselves and ate. I had enough self-control to know that I can’t start stuffing myself right away, I ate bit by bit.

Nevertheless when I arrived at home, I remember the husband of the German woman, who lived with us and used to report on us, saying, ‘Wow, you must have had it good there, you’re so fat.’ I was extremely emaciated, of course. But I hadn’t been able to control myself completely, ate too much and bloated.

I was bloated and swollen all over, but despite that could ride a bicycle. Then I was at the doctor’s and he said to me: ‘My fellow, you have to be careful that you don’t get fat, you’ll have to watch yourself all your life.’ He knew our family well, so he said, ‘You all have a tendency to get fat and with you it would be particularly bad.’

Within a month it all disappeared and I was once again as skinny as a stick. I wanted to kill that guy. ‘You must have had it great there, here no one’s that fat.’ I don’t know you could or couldn’t tell that I was swollen.

The armies of the USSR came to the camp on 22nd April 1945, but there are endless arguments regarding this between the officials historians of Sachsenhausen, how the liberation took place. On 22nd April advance scouts of the Soviet army came to the camp, and on June 12 a bus came for us, driven by a Mr. Vlk. I left Sachsenhausen on 17th June and arrived in Prague on 20th June 1945.

To this day neither science nor psychology has grasped the complete uniqueness of the Holocaust, it just isn’t completely understandable. When you read Hitler’s biography, you find that he didn’t have any particularly bad experiences with jews, on the contrary they were on the whole positive.

He didn’t have any special reason to hate jews, but probably realized one thing: that it’s the bait that you can lure people with, he was enough of a politician for that. What’s completely incomprehensible is that the whole German nation went insane, at least from today’s perspective. Jews stopped existing for them; they were no longer human beings.

That’s why it’s incomprehensible that the uniqueness of the Holocaust hasn’t been scientifically or historically analyzed, let alone understood in an ordinary way. That’s why people can dare to compare today’s, though also huge, horrors and genocides with the Holocaust.

The Holocaust was unique in that it was on an industrial scale, it really was that factory, as people sometimes say, that death factory. Another thing was that jews were tortured in the most horrible ways before being killed. The thing that probably upset me the most was when they were recently slaughtering en masse those so-called mad cows, and the newspapers wrote that it was a ‘Cow Holocaust.’ One doesn’t know if it’s humor in bad taste, or something else. Or, that for example the Czech Republic hadn’t officially recognized the Holocaust Victims’ Memorial day until this year, 2005.

While I was still at the concentration camp, and we had begun to receive mail, I applied to study Czech and geography at university. Those two subjects were my favorites, that’s something that I inherited from my father, and Professor Eisinger also influenced me. I wrote poems and only ever had one single one published, I know it by heart to this day. While still in the concentration camp I received a reply, that Czech and geography as a subject doesn’t exist.

So I decided to study Czech and Russian, as I was under the impression that I had learned to speak Russian quite well in the concentration camp. During my studies, to my horror, I learned not only that I don’t know Russian, but that I had absorbed a completely spoiled version of it in the concentration camp. I mixed Russian words with Ukrainian and Czech ones, I never managed to correct it completely, and sometimes I say as a joke that I’m a genius, because I managed to gain a professorship in Russian and I don’t know how to speak Russian.

My return from the concentration camp was probably more pleasant and easier than that of my acquaintances, because I was welcomed by my old friends, and I even found some girls in Vysoke Myto. They all recalled my brother, everyone would run over to me and ask what had happened to Frantisek. I had lots of worries with the house and didn’t know how I would come up with money.

I was arguing with this one anti-Semitic professor, who said to me when I didn’t have anything to sleep on and he refused to give me a bed: ‘We’re not going to be like the Germans, who took everything from the jews. This belongs to Germans and we have to wait until the state decides.’ In the end the National Committee intervened and he gave me the bed.

I met my wife, Zdena Kolarska, during a parade early on after my return from the concentration camp. I’ll never forget it, how we were marching in the parade, and walking beside me was this voluptuous, nice-looking woman. Compared to her I was then a skinny little shrimp, I don’t know if I was still swollen then or not.

I was smoking, even though I’d always been against smoking, but they taught me to smoke in the concentration camp, actually on the trip from Auschwitz to Schwarzheide, even though it was of course forbidden. When we arrived back home, for a short time there were cigarettes named ‘America,’ so I had these ‘Americas’ in my pocket, and suddenly this woman beside me says to me, ‘I’d really like to smoke but I don’t have any.’ We all called each other comrade, and so I said to her, ‘Comrade, can I offer you one?’ And she said, ‘And you smoke?’ and I said, ‘Well, I smoke, I’m not happy about it, but I smoke.’

Those were our first words that we spoke to each other. With this a completely new life began for me, because we soon moved in together, then got married, and very soon upon that came our first son, Franta [Frantisek]. My wife is a magnificent woman, all of a sudden I had a home, her parents accepted me, I called them Dad, Mom. Suddenly I was living a normal life. They were such an amazing family, they took me in as their own.

After I finished my studies and held a few different jobs I started teaching at university, married a teacher, her father was a school principal and her mother also a teacher.

Our daughter Vera, her married name is Dvorakova, is a teacher, a translator from French, and has a doctorate in pedagogy. She studied in the Soviet Union, and after the year 1989 in America. Our son, Frantisek Franek, teaches mathematics and computer science at a university in Canada, so we already have about ten teachers in the family.

Have I brought up my children to be jewish? In fact during the Slansky trials 22 we did keep it a secret from our son, but our relatives soon let him know the truth. They called him ‘jew-child,’ in a kindly fashion: ‘Come here, I want to hug you, my little jew-child.’ and so on.

Our son, when he was small, would swear, because ‘you jew’ was an oath in the Old Town, so he would swear at people and say ‘you jew.’ And some Mrs. Polakova came and complained, that we should do something about it, that our boy is saying ‘you jew’ to her boy. So then I started to step by step slowly tell him about the war. I couldn’t tell them that they imprisoned me just like that, for no reason.

I used to go to meetings of the Terezin Initiative, meetings of the Freedom Fighters, and also did a lot of work in the Schwarzheide Society, of which I was almost the founder. Schwarzheide was my next to last concentration camp, and a relatively large number of us survived it, a large number even to this day – although there are maybe only two or three dozen now – we became very close, and I came up with the idea of forming a group, which exists to this day.

Currently Richard Svoboda is its chairman, for a long time I was the chairman. My children heard that I had been imprisoned, and took it as part of the resistance against the Germans, as in those days there was a lot of anti-German feeling.

Zdenka’s cousin used to tell them about it, but my son was small and didn’t understand it. And because we didn’t live a jewish lifestyle, it went in one ear and out the other. But we never kept it from them, except for the first two years after the war, when we said, just please don’t let it happen again. We were afraid of how we could explain it to our son, we didn’t know how to go about it, but we never hid from our children the fact that they are jews.

Our son, when he arrived in Canada, told us that there whoever doesn’t belong to some religion, is considered worse than a Communist. Of course at first he said ‘no religion,’ they were completely startled, what is that? ‘What’s that please? Why, you have two arms, two legs, how can you be without belief?’ So he thought about it, and then said that he’s a jew.

Our son therefore identified himself as a jew in Canada, he knew from home that it wasn’t anything negative. But we never led him to it, later we did discuss it, but more or less in the same way as about the roundness of the cosmos, so it wasn’t very personal, but he did know about it.

Our daughter married a non-jew, but a couple of years ago, she ‘jewified’ herself, she internally accepted Judaism. In fact she even wanted to join the Jewish Community, but she’s not allowed, because her mother isn’t jewish. Even though that now she’s more jewish than many others, the Orthodox rabbi won’t accept her into the Community. Despite this she won a competition to be principal of the Lauder School, though in the beginning they didn’t want to accept her, also because of the fact that she isn’t one hundred percent jewish.

I’ve had the luck in life to be doing what I enjoy. I studied with Professor Bohumil Mathesius. Professor Bohumil Mathesius was one of the greatest translators during the time of the First Republic 23, he translated from German, French, Latin and mainly from Russian. His most famous book is ‘Songs of Ancient China.’ I eventually published it. When he was dying, I didn’t go see him, but despite this he willed me his estate.

Unfortunately not his finances, which I could have used as well, but its stewardship. I prepared his writings, which didn’t get published, I wrote his bibliography, which also didn’t get published. The Communists reproached me with the fact that he wasn’t a Communist, even though he became a professor of contemporary Russian, therefore Soviet literature, they reproached him for not being a proper Communist. In spite of this they managed, like with all the professors, to force him into joining the Party, so that after the year 1989 24 I again didn’t have any success in finding someone to publish him.

Mathesius was from an Evangelical [Protestant] family, and when he first got married, it was to a jewish actress named Zdenka. They divorced, from what I know of it after all these years, the fault was hers, she always felt dissatisfied and wanted to be more important. While he was very important in the sphere of culture.

She committed suicide before the war. Mathesius blamed himself for the rest of his life that she committed suicide because of him, he blamed himself for permitting the divorce, even though she was the one that wanted it. But she killed herself in a state of utter despair, she had a heavy illness and suddenly couldn’t act, was utterly disconsolate, and that’s something that he couldn’t have pulled her out of. He blamed himself for being an anti-Semite. Due to his wife, and due to Otokar Fischer 25.

Because when Otokar Fischer was just beginning, Mathesius wrote a tract called ‘Anti-Semitism, non-Semitism and Humanity.’ He propagated the thought that jews should concern themselves with jews, and for Otokar Fischer to concern himself with jews and not Czechs, to leave Czech literature alone. He was very young at the time, I know this from the stories he would tell, but Otokar Fischer took it very seriously at the time, and even considered stopping writing about Czech literature and poems, if they didn’t want him. Mathesius felt guilty about this his whole life, and when he was on his death bed, he wanted to make up for these two youthful anti-Semitic sins, which he had long ago made up for with his entire life. Out of those that could have taken care of his estate, he chose me. Partly because he trusted me, but mainly because I’m a jew. He wanted someone jewish to continue with his work.

I became Mathesius’ successor, then I was in Germany for four years, where I had significant successes. I went to Germany in 1966, when they were looking for someone to lecture on Soviet literature. First they invited Soviets, but were unhappy with them because all they did was Soviet propaganda.

So they invited emigrants, but they on the other hand did nothing but political anti-Soviet propaganda. This they didn’t like either, so they wrote to Prague. Here they decided that I would go there for three months. I was very successful there, because I presented it as a unified whole. For me it was simply Russian literature. So they were satisfied with me, I got a professorship there, and wanted to stay for as long as possible, but I didn’t want to emigrate. Then I received a one-year Humboldt scholarship.

During that year I was allowed to work on only my own things, then I went to Tübingen. I worked at the foremost German universities, and lectured for a total of four years. In 1970 they wrote me from the CSSR that I have to decide, to either immediately return, or be considered an emigrant. I was in Germany with my entire family, so I guess it was my free choice that we returned.

After we returned from Germany, they very quickly threw me out of the Faculty, threw me out of the Party, but that I had already been thrown out of. In the critique they wrote: ‘Associate professor Franek comes from a rich jewish family from Prague.’ In those days that was the worst thing you could be. Meanwhile we hadn’t been rich, when my father died, my mother sometimes didn’t know if she’d be able to put dinner on the table, and I’m not exaggerating.I wasn’t born in Prague, but in Vysoke Myto, but ‘rich jewish family from Prague’ sounds better. I never denied being from a jewish family. At that time jews were being persecuted, so they wrote from a jewish family.

How did I find out about it? It was all top secret, but somehow they made a mistake in my critique and had to write a new one. They took it out of the typewriter and threw it in the wastepaper basket. One day the cleaning lady knocked on my door and said, ‘I have something for you.’ I said to her, ‘What do you have for me?’. ‘It’s your vetting review, from the garbage.’ I have it stored away to this day. I know exactly what they wrote about me.

I had been away on official business, but despite that, when I returned they threw me out of the Faculty as a German spy. I worked in the Lidove [People’s] Publishers, in fact as the assistant chief editor, but because I had been thrown out of the Party, someone had to vouch for me. One acquaintance of mine did vouch for me, the literary critic Vladimir Dostal, but when he died the director of the publishing house immediately threw me out, and I ended up working for the railway.

I have to say that I very quickly got used to working for the railway. One of my colleagues found me the job, she had remained at the faculty and then later became a faculty dean in Olomouc; her best friend worked at the train station. She told me that they were always looking for people there, so I went and introduced myself.

First I had to go for schooling and then they took me on, because they had personnel shortages. During Communism there were always personnel shortages, because each job was done by ten people instead of one, so of course there were never enough workers. So I got in and got schooled to be a signalman. I worked at the railway station in Sedlec.

Signalman, that means that I got to work in a so-called switch tower, those are the little houses that stood right beside the tracks, there was a signalman in it, who had to watch the signals, and it had a telephone so that I could let them know if a train hadn’t by chance remained stopped or if a wagon hadn’t by accident become disconnected. I worked outside of the train station and sometimes it was in the middle of nowhere. My job was to watch and see if the train was whole and on the right track. Besides this, right in Sedlec there was a rail spur, that was always stressful for me.

There was a fish cannery in Sedlec, so trains with refrigerated rail cars would arrive, and I had to let them off the main line into the cannery, according to very strict rules. During this I would always be shaking, but not even once did I screw up. I’m proud of that.

I had yet another task, a little further on there was this empty track, with idle locomotives on it, and one time I was supposed to let one go. The procedure was that I got an order as to which locomotive should depart, the locomotive would go on the main track, I was supposed to signal it to go to the train station, and only then would the conductor give the final signal for it to go. I mixed it up, and let that locomotive go straight out on the main line! My boss was completely beside himself, saying: ‘What if there had been a train coming, what a disaster would we have had.’

As punishment I had to return to the train station, so that I would be under closer supervision. There was this little shed there, right behind the station, I once again worked as a switchman, only that there was more work, because there were more switches.

I recall doing a lot of my own work there – I read innumerable books, which was strictly forbidden, I even did translations there. I had to have three eyes. With one eye I read or did corrections, with the second I watched what was going on out on the tracks, and with the third eye I watched out for the controller.

So it was a bit suspenseful in its way, but I managed to finish a nice portion of my work there. I put together a library of literary science, which I wasn’t officially allowed to sign as my work, I wasn’t even allowed to be a so-called responsible editor, I wasn’t allowed to put it together and so on, but I practically created the whole library by myself.

Working for the railway had the advantage that you worked a morning shift, then the next day the afternoon shift, and then had a day off. So I had lots of days off, I would go to the library and also to the swimming pool. Once I was running to catch a streetcar on my way to the swimming pool, and I slipped and fell and broke my little finger, so I wasn’t able to work.

The doctor gave me a note that I can’t manually move switches with my hands, so they put me on disability, which could last up to a year. We had very little money. From disability I went into early retirement, where I got half of my pension, but didn’t have to do anything any more, and then they gave me my full pension.

Then, after the year 1989, they took me back to the faculty with a certain amount of ceremony. The first time I did my professorship of Slavonic studies was in Göttingen, Germany, in 1990 I defended my professorial degree and became a professor of Russian and Soviet literature, everything was perfect.

Except that they then threw us all out, when money started getting tight, that we were too old. I had a couple of supplements, which people reproach us so much for, for the time in the concentration camps. So we’ve always been able to manage, plus my wife is a very modest woman and has lasted it out with me. Now I’m trying to still work, but it’s not going very well any more.

I changed my name, as opposed to others, completely of my own free will. Because when I started to study Czech, I learned that Josef II 26 had decided to institute a two-name system. Before that, your father could be named Novak, because he was a newcomer.

His father, who was a tailor, could have been named Krejci [Tailor]. Kucera [Curly] if he had curly hair. Names weren’t at all hereditary. Josef II decided that he would institute this; because he was a little afraid of this step, people tried to talk him out of it, in the year 1795, if I’m not mistaken, he decided to try it out with the jews.

It was basically a good idea, that everyone would have his own name, and that his children will be named after their father. Because along with this step he was also conducting Germanization, a condition was having a German name, or a German-sounding one.

When I found out about this at the very beginning of my studies, I read a wonderful article by Pavel Eisner about this, Eisner didn’t change his name, as he was already famous as Eisner, but he grasps that if someone was named Schweinkopf [pig’s head], that he would have understandably changed his name. The way this happened was that in the time of Joseph II, whoever didn’t have money to pay the official in charge, became Schweinkopf, was Goldstein [gold stone] or at least Stern [star].

Changing your name was possible long ago, so jews gradually changed it. Some Czech names also got preserved among jews – Vohryzek, Rostovsky, Hostovsky, Ruzicka, Benes, Novak, Bysicky, Radvansky. How those people managed to keep them, the devil only knows. They must have had to pay a lot, or requested the name change very early on, or convinced the official in charge that it sounded German, and sometimes it worked, Vohryzek was possible to read as Worytzek.

When I found out about this, I asked myself: ‘What would have dad done today?’ My dad would have abandoned his German name, with which we have no relationship, there is no famous Frischman, and we don’t know anything about Frischmans. [There was a German bishop named Frischmann, but probably not of jewish origin].

I thought about what name to choose and ended up screwing it up horribly. Because Franek is also not of Czech origin. I had wanted to take the name Vohryzek, after my grandmother, but I felt that would be inappropriate, because Viktor Vohryzek was still fairly well-known then. I met some lady friends from my concentration camp days, one was named Iltisova, she said that it’s not a German name, but jewish, so she has no reason to change it.

The second said that she was going to get married soon, so she wasn’t going to worry about it. They said to me: ‘Hey, why are you putting so much thought into it, call yourself Franek, that’s a good Czech name.’ And stupid me, I went home and wrote up an application with the name Franek.

It wasn’t until later that I realized that the name comes from ‘Frank,’ which is originally from German, that I had gone, as it were, from the frying pan, and into the fire. My son also has the name, and they call him Frank, they’ve Anglicized it. He lives in Canada with his family, my daughter’s married name is Dvorakova, so that I’m the only Franek. If I would have married a bit sooner, I would have taken my wife’s name, Kolarsky, which I like a lot.

I met up with anti-Semitism after the war as well, in fact quite early on, but the difference is huge. Anti-Semitism remained here from the war. When I arrived in Vysoke Myto, I’m not sure if it was for the first time, standing there at the train station was this one guy I had known. He saw me getting out of the train, and hollered out so the whole train station could hear, it’s a small local train stop, so everyone must have heard: ‘the jews are here again.’

Then I met a professor, who when he was supposed to give me things, I’ve already talked about it, a bed, bed sheet, duvet, so I would have something to sleep on, plus a table, and I didn’t even want anything more of the things confiscated from the Germans, he was rude and said: ‘We’re not like the Germans, who took everything from the jews. We’re not going to give the jews anything from German things we have stored here.’

On the other hand, as I student I regularly met other students who talked about concentration camp literature, and jewish authors. There I never met up with anti-Semitism. I never met up with anti-Semitism in the Faculty of Philosophy. I worked for the University Students’ Union, we organized student camps. I had been involved in the Scout movement before the war – after the war be began to meet and then I read that scouting was being organized again.

People from the Scouting Presidium decided to co-opt the members and that they’ll present themselves in front of the officials and the public as the Czechoslovak Junak-Scout organization. There were three in the presidium: one was a psychologist named Brichacek, another was a doctor by the name of Pfeiffer, but not a relative of mine or a jew.

The third was the writer Alexej Pludek, who was at first an anti-Communist and later joined the Communists and had quite hard anti-Semitic views. Alexej Pludek decided to renew the Scout movement, perhaps on the basis of anti-Semitism or what, who knows. He wrote anti-Semitic books. I never found out whether he knew that I was a jew. And to come up and say to him, ‘Hey man, I’m a jew,’ that’s also not the easiest thing to do.

When I found out that the three of them wanted to found this organization, I right away called Brichacek and Pfeiffer and said to them: ‘look here, you obviously don’t know this, I’m a writer, if Pludek is to be a restorer of Scouting, you should be aware that I will immediately write to the World Scouting Organization, that a known anti-Semite is founding Scouting in Prague.’ They really did verify if it was true, and subsequently squeezed him out. So I met up with anti-Semitism, and right after that with two people that tied into him, that we can’t have anti-Semitism.

So after the war I did meet up with anti-Semitism more often, but usually at work on the railway, or at the pub. People would say things like: ‘those jews, they want something again.’ And sometimes with civil servants, when they were supposed to return confiscated property. Because they returned it twice, once in 1945 and then after 1989. But of course these manifestations were all disguised. One time there was an anti-Semitic newspaper, but I don’t know what it was called.

One thing that started to really bother me, as I later found out, it also bothered Frantisek Langer 27, people started to write the word jew with a capital ‘J.’ Because a jew with a capital ‘J’ is in Israel, and even there he doesn’t officially call himself a jew, but an Israeli. But Frantisek Langer, Otokar Fischer, Frantisek Gellner 28, Karel Polacek 29, Egon Hostovsky 30, those are all jews with a small ‘j,’ I can’t help myself in this. These are all Czech writers. It really began to bother me, and I rebelled against it wherever I could. Completely without effect.

I know Petr Pithart [contemporary Czech politician], who is a noted Semitophile, but jews for him have a capital ‘J.’ And I said, ‘Please, how can you say that Czechs, Germans and Jews lived here. Why don’t you say that Czechs, Germans, Hungarians, Croatians lived here.’ There were about as many Croatians living here as jews.

There were many minorities living here. Jews didn’t form Czech culture as jews. And Otokar Fischer formed Czech culture as a Czech and in a big way. And Jiri Orten 31, it wasn’t until the end of his life, forced by the Germans, that he withdrew into his jewishness.

Before that he was a Czech poet and nothing else. How can you put on an exhibition of Germans, Czechs and jews? No, that can’t be done. Germans, Czechs, then you can put on a different exhibit, Czech jews, German jews, Zionist jews in Bohemia and their influence. Gustav Mahler 32, there perhaps you could talk about him being a jew. He was connected to Moravia and otherwise he was a German [Editor’s note:

The interviewee is aware that Mahler wasn’t German; he means culturally more Germanic than Czech.]. But there you see it again. Gustav Mahler was a German jew, but was more a German than a jew, and his descendant Zdenek Mahler is completely Czech.

My opinion regarding the state of Israel gradually changed. Towards the end of my time in the concentration camps I met jews who were truly jews, or were Germans. but didn’t feel to be any more, and started to become jews. And suddenly I began to comprehend, when they fantasized about Palestine, literally fantasized, I began to understand that they don’t have any other nation and have no other choice.

The evolution of my opinion, the same as with Viktor Vohryzek, especially like after with Jindrich Kohn, started at first with absolute refusal, that it’s an Arabic country, an Asian country. But if you want, try it, we certainly won’t put up barriers in your way. From outright refusal to acceptance.

In my youth people talked about Zionism, which was something absolutely unacceptable for me. Here the battle was between Czech jews and German jews. People used to say, why are they being German? Jews who were Germans, were returning to German culture, which had it’s advantages during the time of the Austro-Hungarian monarchy. But at first people said about Zionists:

‘Let them go to Palestine, be off with them if they don’t like it here.’ And of course there were embarrassments, people said, what do we have in common with you? Why are you identifying with us? We’re Czechs and you? Why do you wear a hat, why do you wear payes? Why don’t you dress normally? It was real hatred, which gradually changed.

When the war ended, right away a battle of jews began. I even saw how some jews escaped from Poland. At that time I was still a devout Communist, I met once this group of Polish jews in the Municipal House, I was talking to them and I said to them, ‘You know, if I wasn’t a Communist, I’d for sure be a Zionist.’ It wasn’t true, because very soon I stopped being internally a Communist, and before I knew what was happening, there were the first trials [Slansky trials].

I could never have denied my Czech identity, it was too strong in me. I told them that I would at least come and wave goodbye to them: ‘I’ve at least got my fingers crossed for you, even if I can’t do anything else.’ Already from the year 1945 I stood clearly on the side of the jews, on the side of Israel, which didn’t exist yet.

Many people in the university environment in which I moved about had exactly the same opinion. They swore at the Arabs, the Arabs boasted that they would drive the jews into the sea. Suddenly it was the Arabs that were running away into the sea. Who would have known that it was going to turn out like that. From that time I absolutely respect Zionism, and if it helps, I’ve got my fingers crossed for them in that battle.

I always understood the conflicts regarding Palestine, that that country is Arabic. Now that the jews are already there, Europe should have told the Arabs: ‘You have to stand aside, you have to make room for them. You have as much room as in all of Europe, and there are as many of you as in Germany. So why couldn’t you make a bit of room for the jews.’ No, they weren’t capable of doing that. In the meantime the jews will go on arguing among themselves.

I have my own theory, different from the others, about what jewishness is. According to me jewishness isn’t a nationality nor a religion, jewishness is in my view a ‘pospolity:’ a community, or society. A jewish community; religious jews, national jews, and jews that are religious and national.

Besides that, there are jews that are neither religious nor national, who are simply designated as jews by society. This all forms something that is neither a nation nor a religion. Imagine a person that doesn’t feel himself to be a part of the jewish nation, is an atheist, and finds himself in a society that is plagued with prejudice against jews, and everyone says ‘you’re a jew.’ Try as he might, he won’t get away from it.

What does he belong to, if he’s not a member of the jewish nation, nor the jewish religion? This type of person belongs to that third level, which is perhaps the largest: together with nation, religion and this level is formed what I today call the jewish ‘pospolity.’

It’s my own theory, I’m quite perplexed that no one else has come to the same conclusion, because to me it seems quite clear and simple. It’s obviously because people are used to thinking in terms of religion or nation. But what if something different exists? And something different does exist! What’s necessary is to come up with a name. I thought of ‘pospolity,’ but maybe it’s not the best name for it.

Something similar exists in the works of Jindrich Kohn, ‘Assimilation and the Ages.’ Kohn though calls it a ‘rod’ [clan, family, tribe, breed etc. – Translator’s note]. Which I don’t consider to be a very good choice, because the word ‘rod’ has numerous meanings. I chose ‘pospolity,’ I didn’t find a Latin expression, Greek scholars advised me to use ‘koiné moira,’ maybe someone will make some new word out of it, or think of some other all-encompassing name.

After the war I didn’t live in any particularly jewish fashion, but I always remained a member of the Jewish Community. My wife and I celebrate both Easter and Passover. We celebrate Christmas, but don’t really celebrate Chanukkah. I always took part in the major concentration camp remembrance ceremonies, so in this way I remained in contact with jewishness.

Of those that survived, there are those that say that they don’t want to hear anything more about concentration camps, that they’ve had enough of it. Then there are the others, that still live in it. Even that poor guy Arnost Lustig 33, who I know quite well, I get the feeling that he’s gone a bit nutty from it.

When he talks normally like this, well, the fact is that he doesn’t talk normally. I’ve preserved a healthy middle position, where I can talk and write about it. I also do research in books, for example I’m researching Karel Polacek’s works, who’s a jew, but I’ve also written on other, non-jewish themes. I live a completely different life. The two themes meet, but don’t overlap.

Glossary:

1 Vohryzek, Viktor (1864–1918)

doctor, writer, founder of the bi-weekly, later weekly magazine Rozvoj (Development) (1904), which programmatically publicized critiques of the older generation. Co-founder of the Society of Progressive Czech Jews (1907), which in time became the main organization of the Czech-Jewish movement.

Viktor supplied the movement with a new ideological foundation – he and his successors considered assimilation to be first and foremost a religio-ethical matter. They felt Czech nationality to be an unchanging fact, somewhat complicated by Jewish origins.

They didn’t consider being Czech as a question of language or nationality, but a religio-ethical problem, a matter of spiritual standard and culture – in agreement with the first Czechoslovak president, T.G. Masaryk, whose efforts to a moral renewal of society and political engagement after 1914 they supported.

2 Czech-Jewish Movement

Czech assimilation had three unique aspects – Jews did not assimilate from the original ghetto, and gave up German. Therefore the language and culture, which they had recently accepted, and its resultant advantages, and decided to assimilate into a non-ruling nation.

After the year 1867 the first graduates began coming out of high schools, these patriotic students in 1876 founded the first Czech-Jewish organization, the Society of Czech Academics-Jews

In 1881 the society began publishing a Czech-Jewish Almanac, the first Jewish periodical written in the Czech language. The members of the first generation of the C-J movement considered themselves to be Jews only by denomination.

The C-J question was for them a question of linguistic, national and cultural assimilation. They strove for ‘de-Germanization’, published C-J literature, organized patriotic balls, entertainment, lectures, founded associations (Or Tomid, 1884).

In 1893, the associations both in Prague and outside of it merged into a culturally oriented fellowship, the National Czech-Jewish Association, which published the Czech-Jewish Papers. At the end of the 19th century Czech Jews were also successful in having many German – originally Jewish – schools closed, which Czechs considered to be advance bastions of Germanism.

The rise of anti-Semitism and the close of the 19th century caused a deep crisis within the C-J movement. The younger generation was against the older generation’s politics, represented from 1897 by the Czech-Jewish Political Association.

Starting in 1904, the bi-weekly. later the weekly magazine Rozvoj (Development) came out with programmatic critiques of the older generation; it was led by the writer and doctor Viktor Vohryzek and subsequently by the lawyer and journalist Viktor Teytz.

In 1907 the Union of Czech Progressive Jews was founded by a group of malcontents. This younger generation gave the movement a new impulse: assimilation was considered to be first and foremost a religio-ethical one.

They felt Czech nationality to be an unchanging fact, somewhat complicated by Jewish origins. They didn’t consider being Czech as a question of language or nationality, but a religio-ethical problem, a matter of spiritual standard and culture – in agreement with the first Czechoslovak president, T.G. Masaryk, whose efforts to at a moral renewal of society and political engagement after 1914 they supported.

3 Orthodox communities

The traditionalist Jewish communities founded their own Orthodox organizations after the Universal Meeting in 1868-1869.They organized their life according to Judaist principles and opposed to assimilative aspirations. The community leaders were the rabbis.

The statute of their communities was sanctioned by the king in 1871. In the western part of Hungary the communities of the German and Slovakian immigrants’ descendants were formed according to the Western Orthodox principles. At the same time in the East, among the Jews of Galician origins the ‘eastern’ type of Orthodoxy was formed; there the Hassidism prevailed.

In time the Western Orthodoxy also spread over to the eastern part of Hungary. 294 Orthodox mother-communities and 1,001 subsidiary communities were registered all over Hungary, mainly in Transylvania and in the north-eastern part of the country, in 1896. In 1930 30,4 % of Hungarian Jews belonged to 136 mother-communities and 300 subsidiary communities. This number increased to 535 Orthodox communities in 1944, including 242,059 believers (46 %).

4 Masaryk, Jan (1886-1948)

Czechoslovak diplomat, son of Tomas Garrigue Masaryk, the first president of Czechoslovakia. He was foreign minister in the Czechoslovak government in exile, set up in Great Britain after the dismemberment of the country (1938).

His policy included cooperating with both, the Soviet Union as well as the Western powers in order to attain the liberation of Czechoslovakia. After the liberation (1945) he remained in office until the 1948 communist coup d’etat, when he was announced to have committed suicide.

5 Yellow star in Bohemia – on September 1, 1941 an edict was issued according to which all Jews having reached the age of six were forbidden to appear in public without the Jewish star

The Jewish star is represented by a hand-sized, six-pointed yellow star outlined in black, with the word Jude in black letters.

It had to be worn in a visible place on the left side of the article of clothing. This edict came into force on September 19, 1941. It was another step aimed at eliminating Jews from society. The idea’s author was Reinhard Heydrich himself.

6 Macha, Karel Hynek (1810–1836)

representative of High Romanticism, whose poetry, prose and drama express important questions of human existence. Reflections on Judaism (and human emancipation as a whole) play an important role in his work.

Macha belonged to the intellectual avant-garde of the Czech national society. He studied law. Macha died suddenly of weakening of the organism and of cholera on 6th November 1836. Macha’s works (Krivoklad, 1834) refer to a certain contemporary and social vagueness in Jewish material – Jews are seen romantically and sentimentally as beings exceptional, tragically ostracized, and internally beautiful. They are subjects of admiration as well as condolence.

7 Bezruc, Petr (Vladimir Vasek) (1867– 1958)

poet, writer of prose, author of socially critical realist poetry. He expressed the Silesian people’s resistance against national and social oppression. His Silesian Songs (1909) enjoyed a significant response among the Jewish literary public, despite his sometimes being considered an anti-Semite.

He had a number of friends in the Jewish literary community, who he captivated with the intensity of his descriptions of poverty, grievous wrongs and resistance to injustice. Jewish themes appear in Studies From Café Lustig (1889). Bezruc’s mistrust towards the Jews did not have a racist or nationally chauvinistic motivation, but was basically a reflection of the author’s elementary experiences and it cannot be interpreted as “anti-Semitism”.

8 Hasek, Jaroslav (1883–1923)

Czech humorist, satirist, author of stories, travelogues, essays, and journalistic articles. His participation in WWI was the main source of his literary inspiration and developed into the character of Schweik in the four-volume unfinished but world-famous novel, The Good Soldier Schweik. Hasek moved about in the Bohemian circles of Prague’s artistic community.

He also satirically interpreted Jewish social life and customs of his time. With the help of Jewish themes he exposed the ludicrousness and absurdity of state bureaucracy, militarism, clericalism and Catholicism. (Information for this entry culled from Benét’s Reader’s Encyclopedia and other sources)

9 Sokol

One of the best-known Czech sports organizations. It was founded in 1862 as the first physical educational organization in the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy. Besides regular training of all age groups, units organized sports competitions, colorful gymnastics rallies, cultural events including drama, literature and music, excursions and youth camps.

Although its main goal had always been the promotion of national health and sports, Sokol also played a key role in the national resistance to the Austro-Hungarian Empire, the Nazi occupation and the communist regime.

Sokol flourished between the two World Wars; its membership grew to over a million. Important statesmen, including the first two presidents of interwar Czechoslovakia, Tomas Masaryk and Edvard Benes, were members of Sokol. Sokol was banned three times: during World War I, during the Nazi occupation and finally by the communists after 1948, but branches of the organization continued to exist abroad. Sokol was restored in 1990.

10 Kohn, Jindrich (1874 – 1934)

philosopher, supporter of organized Czech assimilation. In his works, published posthumously under the title Assimilation and The Ages I-III (Prague, 1936), he laid the philosophical foundations of a new concept of the role and purpose of assimilation, and therefore of the Czech-Jewish movement.

He was a supporter of the Pan-European idea, and considered assimilation to be a process that should far exceed the scope of Jewishness. He attributed to assimilation a model purpose and content pertaining to all peoples: that it shows other nations the path from separation to higher, trans-national and trans-state wholes, founded on absolute humanity.

Kohn was a staunch opponent of Zionism (“My Zion is Prague”), he did, however, try to find some common points between both movements, which he considered to be a contemporary expression of much-needed Jewish self-realization. Positions of this type were not common within the Czech-Jewish movement: most proponents of assimilation rejected Zionists as a matter of principle as early as the end of the 19th century, when the first Zionist associations began to appear in Bohemia.

11 Masaryk, Tomas Garrigue (1850-1937)

Czechoslovak political leader and philosopher and chief founder of the First Czechoslovak Republic. He founded the Czech People’s Party in 1900, which strove for Czech independence within the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy, for the protection of minorities and the unity of Czechs and Slovaks.

After the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy in 1918, Masaryk became the first president of Czechoslovakia.

He was reelected in 1920, 1927, and 1934. Among the first acts of his government was an extensive land reform. He steered a moderate course on such sensitive issues as the status of minorities, especially the Slovaks and Germans, and the relations between the church and the state. Masaryk resigned in 1935 and Edvard Benes, his former foreign minister, succeeded him.

12 Benes, Edvard (1884-1948)

Czechoslovak politician and president from 1935-38 and 1946-48. He was a follower of T. G. Masaryk, the first president of Czechoslovakia, and the idea of Czechoslovakism, and later Masaryk’s right-hand man. 

After World War I he represented Czechoslovakia at the Paris Peace Conference. He was Foreign Minister (1918-1935) and Prime Minister (1921-1922) of the new Czechoslovak state and became president after Masaryk retired in 1935.

The Czechoslovak alliance with France and the creation of the Little Entente (Czechoslovak, Romanian and Yugoslav alliance against Hungarian revisionism and the restoration of the Habsburgs) were essentially his work. After the dismemberment of Czechoslovakia by the Munich Pact (1938) he resigned and went into exile.

Returning to Prague in 1945, he was confirmed in office and was reelected president in 1946. After the communist coup in February 1948 he resigned in June on the grounds of illness, refusing to sign the new constitution.

13 Eisner, Pavel (1889 – 1958)

writer, translator and journalist; one of the most distinctive representatives of Czech-Jewishness in Prague (despite whatever objections he may have had to its program) in literature and journalism of the first half of the 20th century. From 1921-1938 he worked as freelance journalist for the daily paper Prager Presse. In 1939 he was sent into early retirement due to “racial reasons.” Viktor Fischl wanted to help him emigrate, but a guarantee from H.G. Wells, by fault of the British consulate in Prague, was sent to another person with the same name. During the time of the Protectorate he lived in seclusion. From the end of the war until his death, he made a living as a translator and professional writer. He strove to foster mutual understanding between Czechs and Germans and translated the works of Franz Kafka, Thomas Mann and Rilke into Czech.

14 Birkenau (Pol

: Brzezinka): Also known as Auschwitz II. Set up in October 1941 following a decision by Heinrich Himmler in the village of Brzezinka (Ger.: Birkenau) close to Auschwitz, as a prisoner-of-war camp. 

It retained this title until March 1944, although it was never used as a POW camp. It comprised sectors of wooden sheds for different types of prisoners (women, men, Jewish families from Terezin, Roma, etc.), and continued to be expanded until the end of 1943.

From the beginning of 1942 it was an extermination camp. The Birkenau camp covered a total area of 140 ha. and comprised some 300 sheds variously used as living quarters, ancillary quarters and crematoria. Birkenau, Auschwitz I and scores of satellite camps made up the largest centre for extermination of the Jews. The majority of the Jews deported here were sent straight to the gas chambers to be put to Heath immediately, without registration.

There were 400,000 prisoners registered there for longer periods, half of whom were Jews. The second-largest group of prisoners were Poles (140,000). Prisoners died en mass as a result of slave labor, starvation, the inhuman living conditions, beatings, torture and executions. The bodies of those murdered were initially buried and later burned in the crematoria and on pyres in specially dug pits.

Due to the efforts made by the SS to erase the evidence of their crimes and their destruction of the majority of the documentation on the prisoners, and also to the fact that the Soviet forces seized the remaining documentation, it is impossible to establish the exact number of victims of Auschwitz-Birkenau. On the basis of the fragmentary documentation available, it can be assumed that in total approx. 1.5 million prisoners were murdered in Auschwitz-Birkenau, some 90% of whom were Jews.

15 Terezin/Theresienstadt

A ghetto in the Czech Republic, run by the SS. Jews were transferred from there to various extermination camps. It was used to camouflage the extermination of European Jews by the Nazis, who presented Theresienstadt as a ‘model Jewish settlement’.

Czech gendarmes served as ghetto guards, and with their help the Jews were able to maintain contact with the outside world. Although education was prohibited, regular classes were held, clandestinely. Thanks to the large number of artists, writers, and scholars in the ghetto, there was an intensive program of cultural activities.

At the end of 1943, when word spread of what was happening in the Nazi camps, the Germans decided to allow an International Red Cross investigation committee to visit Theresienstadt. In preparation, more prisoners were deported to Auschwitz, in order to reduce congestion in the ghetto. Dummy stores, a cafe, a bank, kindergartens, a school, and flower gardens were put up to deceive the committee.

16 Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia

Bohemia and Moravia were occupied by the Germans and transformed into a German Protectorate in March 1939, after Slovakia declared its independence. The Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia was placed under the supervision of the Reich protector, Konstantin von Neurath.

The Gestapo assumed police authority. Jews were dismissed from civil service and placed in an extralegal position. In the fall of 1941, the Reich adopted a more radical policy in the Protectorate. The Gestapo became very active in arrests and executions. The deportation of Jews to concentration camps was organized, and Terezin/Theresienstadt was turned into a ghetto for Jewish families.

During the existence of the Protectorate the Jewish population of Bohemia and Moravia was virtually annihilated. After World War II the pre-1938 boundaries were restored, and most of the German-speaking population was expelled.

17 Vedem

The magazine Vedem was put out by boys from the 1st boys’ home inTerezin (located in a former school designated L 417), which for practically all of its existence was led by the educator and teacher Valtr Eisinger, alias Prcek [Squirt]. He established the principle of self-government in the home, and named it after a Russian school for orphans, which was named ‘Respublika Skid’.

Vedem began to be published as a cultural and news magazine. In the beginning it was available to all, thanks to it being conceived as a bulletin-board magazine. Subsequently for security reasons this approach was abandoned.

After each publication the magazine was passed around, and its entire contents were discussed at the home’s plenary meetings held every Friday. Everyone who was interested could attend these meetings. Vedem was published weekly from December of 1942, and always as one single copy.

The magazine’s pages are numbered consecutively and together the entire magazine has 787 pages. The authors of the absolute majority of the contributions were the boys themselves, who ranged from 13 to 15 years old. We can, however, also find in the magazine contributions by educators and teachers.

Published in Vedem were stories, critical articles, articles inspired by specific events, educational articles, poems and drawings. Mostly the boys describe in their works the situation in the camp, state their perceptions relating to life in Terezin, but also concern themselves with the problem of the Jewish question, Jewish history, and so on.

Often-used literary devices are irony (especially in commenting the overall situation in the camp), satire (mainly in poems), metaphors, the use of contrasts. Most articles are written anonymously, or under various nicknames.

Some boys, supported by the efforts for collective education that ruled in Terezin, formed an authors’ group and all used the pseudonym Akademie [Academy] for their articles. Part of the magazine Vedem was published in book form by M.R. Krizkova in collaboration with Zdenek Ornest and Jiri Kotouc under the name ‘Are The Ghetto Walls My Homeland (Je moji vlasti hradba ghett).

18 Hirsch, Fredy (1916–1944)

member of the Maccabi Association, a sports club founded in the middle of the 1920s as a branch of the Maccabi Sports Club, the first Jewish sports association on the territory of Bohemia and Moravia. Hirsch organized the teaching of sports to youth at Prague’s Hagibor, after his deportation to Terezin he continued in this activity there as well.

After the reinstatements of transports to Auschwitz in 1943 and after the creation of the “family camp” there, Hirsch and other teachers organized a children’s home there as well. They continued to teach until the Nazis murdered virtually all the members of the “family camp”, including children and teachers, in the gas chambers.

19 Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact

Non-aggression pact between Germany and the Soviet Union, which became known under the name of Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact. Engaged in a border war with Japan in the Far East and fearing the German advance in the west, the Soviet government began secret negotiations for a non-aggression pact with Germany in 1939.

In August 1939 it suddenly announced the conclusion of a Soviet-German agreement of friendship and non-aggression. The Pact contained a secret clause providing for the partition of Poland and for Soviet and German spheres of influence in Eastern Europe.

20 Sachsenhausen

Nazi concentration camp located in eastern Germany, near Oranienburg. Created in 1936. Political prisoners, Soviet POWs, priests were sent there. The prisoners were employed in heavy industry. Medical experiments were also performed on the inmates.

In 1941 the first attempts at killing inmates with automobile exhaust fumes took place. Gas chambers were opened in 1943.Over 200,000 prisoners passed through Sachsenhausen, 116,000 died. The commanders of the camp during the war were: H. Loritz, A. Kaindl. The camp was liberated in 1945 by the Soviet Army.

21 Death march

the Germans, in fear of the approaching Allied armies, tried to erase evidence of the concentration camps. They often destroyed all the facilities and forced all Jews regardless of their age or sex to go on a death march. This march often led nowhere, there was no concrete destination. The marchers got no food and no rest at night.

It was solely up to the guards how they treated the prisoners, how they acted towards them, what they gave them to eat and they even had the power of their life or death in their hands. The conditions during the march were so cruel that this journey became a journey that ended in death for many.

22 Slansky trial

In the years 1948-1949 the Czechoslovak government together with the Soviet Union strongly supported the idea of the founding of a new state, Israel. Despite all efforts, Stalin’s politics never found fertile ground in Israel; therefore the Arab states became objects of his interest. In the first place the Communists had to allay suspicions that they had supplied the Jewish state with arms.

The Soviet leadership announced that arms shipments to Israel had been arranged by Zionists in Czechoslovakia. The times required that every Jew in Czechoslovakia be automatically considered a Zionist and cosmopolitan.

In 1951 on the basis of a show trial, 14 defendants (eleven of them were Jews) with Rudolf Slansky, First Secretary of the Communist Party at the head were convicted. Eleven of the accused got the death penalty; three were sentenced to life imprisonment.

The executions were carried out on 3rd December 1952. The Communist Party later finally admitted its mistakes in carrying out the trial and all those sentenced were socially and legally rehabilitated in 1963.

23 First Czechoslovak Republic (1918-1938)

The First Czechoslovak Republic was created after the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy following World War I. The union of the Czech lands and Slovakia was officially proclaimed in Prague in 1918, and formally recognized by the Treaty of St. Germain in 1919. Ruthenia was added by the Treaty of Trianon in 1920.

Czechoslovakia inherited the greater part of the industries of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy and the new government carried out an extensive land reform, as a result of which the living conditions of the peasantry increasingly improved. However, the constitution of 1920 set up a highly centralized state and failed to take into account the issue of national minorities, and thus internal political life was dominated by the struggle of national minorities (especially the Hungarians and the Germans) against Czech rule. In foreign policy Czechoslovakia kept close contacts with France and initiated the foundation of the Little Entente in 1921.

24 Velvet Revolution

Also known as November Events, this term is used for the period between 17th November and 29th December 1989, which resulted in the downfall of the Czechoslovak communist regime. A non-violent political revolution in Czechoslovakia that meant the transition from Communist dictatorship to democracy.

The Velvet Revolution began with a police attack against Prague students on 17th November 1989. That same month the citizen’s democratic movement Civic Forum (OF) in Czech and Public Against Violence (VPN) in Slovakia were formed. On 10th December a government of National Reconciliation was established, which started to realize democratic reforms.

On 29th December Vaclav Havel was elected president. In June 1990 the first democratic elections since 1948 took place.

25 Fischer, Otokar (1883–1938)

literary and theater historian, theoretician, critic, poet, script editor, university professor. He came from a Czech-Jewish family, and studied German Studies and Romance languages and literature in Prague. In 1903, he lectured on the theme of Ahasver, the eternal Jew, for the Society of Czech Academics-Jews.

In 1911 he had himself baptized for personal reasons (marriage to a Christian). Later he re-evaluated his approach to Judaism, and in 1922 he published a volume of poetry entitled Voices, where he reflects on his Jewishness, while still assuming a critical stance. After Hitler’s rise to power (1933) he reacted with a series of lectures, in which he outlined his conception of the contribution of Jews to individual national literatures.

26 Joseph II (1741-1790)

Holy Roman Emperor, king of Bohemia and Hungary (1780-1790), a representative figure of enlightened absolutism. He carried out a complex program of political, economic, social and cultural reforms. His main aims were religious toleration, unrestricted trade and education, and a reduction in the power of the Church. These views were reflected in his policy toward Jews.

His ,Judenreformen’ (Jewish reforms) and the ,Toleranzpatent’ (Edict of Tolerance) granted Jews several important rights that they had been deprived of before: they were allowed to settle in royal free cities, rent land, engage in crafts and commerce, become members of guilds, etc. Joseph had several laws which didn’t help Jewish interests: he prohibited the use of Hebrew and Yiddish in business and public records, he abolished rabbinical jurisdiction and introduced liability for military service.

A special decree ordered all the Jews to select a German family name for themselves. Joseph’s reign introduced some civic improvement into the life of the Jews in the Empire, and also supported cultural and linguistic assimilation. As a result, controversy arose between liberal-minded and orthodox Jews, which is considered the root cause of the schism between the Orthodox and the Neolog Jewry.

27 Langer, Frantisek (1888 – 1965)

doctor, playwright, writer, stronger reflections upon Judaism only towards the end of his life’s work. Came from a religiously lukewarm family, which tried to observe the Jewish way of life while at the same time adapt to their Czech surroundings.

When Frantisek’s brother, Jiri Langer (author of the book ‘Nine Gates,’ inspired by Hasidic apprentices) found during his student years the meaning of life in embracing Orthodox Hasidic Judaism, which he ostentatiously showed off – the family reacted very reservedly and had a hard time coming to terms with this fact. Frantisek Langer merged with the democratically and humanistically oriented Czech intelligentsia.

In the years 1935-1938 he was the creative director of the Vinohrady Theater in Prague, in the summer of 1939 he traveled via Poland to France, and then stood in the head of the medical service of the Czechoslovak army in England. Became chairman of the Czechoslovak PEN Club. Reflects on Jewishness in the books ‘Were and Was’ (1963) and ‘Philatelistic Stories’ (1965).

28 Gellner, Frantisek (1881–1914)

poet, writer, painter, journalist from a generation of anarchistic individualists, a representative of Prague’s Bohemian community at the beginning of the 20th century. His work is marked by cynicism, irony, and sarcastic commentary on contemporary politics.

The son of a less than wealthy Jewish merchant family, he devoted himself to the Jewish question via countless verses, pieces of prose and articles. From the year 1911 he was a journalist with Lidove Noviny (People’s News) in Brno. In August 1914 he joined the Austro-Hungarian Army. His trail disappears at the Halic front.

29 Polacek, Karel (1892–February 1945)

writer, journalist, whose entire literary life’s work is permeated by Jewish life and Jewish literary experience. He came from a strongly assimilated Jewish merchant family. During World War I he served at the Balkan and Eastern fronts. From the year 1920 he was a journalist with Lidove Noviny (People’s News), contributed to the magazine The Present, wrote film themes and scripts.

During the time of the Protectorate he wasn’t allowed to publish due to “racial reasons,” and his works came out under the names of other authors. He found employment with the Jewish Elders’ Committee; he worked on inventories of confiscated collections of books of the Jewish religious communities in Prague, Pilsen, Prostejov, Brno and so on. Out of love for his life companion, who he didn’t want to leave, he didn’t make use of the possibility of avoiding the transport, from which the Prague Jewish Community wanted to save him.

In July 1943 he was transported to Terezin, where he actively participated in cultural life: here he presented a total of six lectures between 23rd December 1943 and 21st June 1944. He was transported to Auschwitz on 19th October 1944 – this day was long given as the day of this death, however, according to his fellow prisoners, he was apparently transferred in November 1944 from Auschwitz to the Hindenburg (Zabrze) camp, where he even wrote a sketch for the women’s section of the prison about a psychic that tells her fellow prisoners’ fortune.

He died either during a death march that left the camp on 19th January 1945, or later, at the Dora concentration camp, where prisoners were transported from Gleiwitz in open wagons.

30 Hostovsky, Egon (1908 – 1973)

author of psychological prose. He always regarded himself as a Czech writer, however he may have felt ties to Jewishness, with which he connected eternal banishment and exile – “the historical law of modern man”. He came from a fully assimilated Jewish family, and was conscious his whole life of being “different,” and had a nostalgia for something elusive, which led him to an interest in Jewishness. In order to learn about Jewish Orthodoxy, he visited Hasidic Jews in Ruthenia and Halic.

From 1931-1936 he edited the Czech-Jewish Almanac, later he worked for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. On 25th February 1939 he left for Belgium, later emigrating to the USA (he became a US citizen in 1957). Even in exile he showed interest in the participation of the Jewish element in the evolution of Czech literature – he contributed to the first volume of the monograph The Jews of Czechoslovakia with the study Participation in Modern Czech Literature (1. vol., 1968, s.439-153).

31 Orten, Jiri (1919–1941)

poet, writer, journalist. His works bear signs of Existentialism, a lifelong feeling full of contradictions and tragedy (the diaries Blue, Striped and Red Book). Came from a Jewish family of small-time merchants. After high school participated in Prague’s dramatic and literary life, contributed to various magazines.

Was expelled from studies for “racial reasons,” lived from occasional royalties and gifts, began working for the editorial department of the Jewish religious community. Died tragically under the wheels of a German ambulance on 30th August 1941 at the age of twenty-two.

32 Mahler, Gustav (1860-1911)

Bohemian-Austrian conductor and composer of Jewish origin, recognized among the most important post-romantic composers and best-known for his last two works, ‘Symphony No. 9’ (1909) and ‘The Song of the Earth’ (1908).

33 Lustig, Arnost (b

1926): Czech-Jewish writer. 1950–58 a reporter of Czechoslovak Radio; 1961–68 scriptwriter for Barrandov Film Studios (Prague). Emigrated in 1968, from 1972 he lectured on film and literature at the American University in Washington.

Aleksandar Necak

Aleksandar Necak
Belgrade
Serbia
Name of interviewer: Rachel Chanin
Date of interview: October 2000

My family background
During the war
After the war

My family background

My maternal grandparents were both from Senta. Both families lived in the Jewish section of Senta but not in the Orthodox area, which was further outside the center.

Grandmother was born in Senta in 1885. She came from a considerably well-off Senta Jewish family. Her father, Moric Bergel, was a wheat trader in Senta who had his own mill and bakery. At the time there were laws forbidding Jews from owning land so he did not own any wheat fields. They say that he was "poziv na pogrom", "invited to the pogrom" because he had such a Jewish face. He was known to be very witty, constantly pulling practical jokes. Once, while my mother was in school he came to the school and had her called out of class in order to relay a very important message. She and her teachers were worried that something was wrong. But Moric just wanted to tell her that their cat caught a mouse and that she should hurry home for lunch. Some of his pranks had more significant effects.  He had one brother who also lived in Senta and had a great fear of dying. Playing on his brother's fear of death, one day he had the local morticians go to his brother's house looking to collect his brother's corpse. After his brother learned that he had arranged this prank he never spoke to him again and the two brothers died without reconciling with one another. While he was a prankster, he certainly was not a traveler. He did not like to travel and rarely left Senta. Great-grandfather's wife Sirina [nee Stajnfeld] was born in Slavonia and at some point moved to Senta. She was much more observant than he, who was always looking for a way to avoid religious practice and observance. He died in Senta in 1939.

Great-grandfather and great-grandmother had two children, Andras and Tereza, my grandmother. Andreas studied pharmacy in Budapest. During these studies between 1915-1920, he changed his family name from Bergel to Ormos, a Hungarian name. Ostensibly he changed his name to improve his academic and professional opportunities in Hungary. He also met his future wife, Suzana Halpert, in Budapest. She was from a Hungarian Jewish family but moved to Senta with Andras after he completed his studies. Andras had his own pharmacy in Senta, where he worked until he was deported. When he and Suzana were captured he brought with him a vial of poison, which they both ingested on the way to Auschwitz. My grandmother Tereza Bergel lived most of her life in Senta until she was killed in Auschwitz. She finished a middle school for women, as was the practice at the time. She married my grandfather Dr. Kalman Hacker, also from Senta. They were two opposite personalities but, according to my mother, they had a good relationship. Grandmother was always traveling and going to parties whereas grandfather was much more sedate and studious.

Grandfather came from a very poor family. His family was too poor to pay for his studies and he received a scholarship form a Catholic organization in Szeged [Hungary]. They financed both his bachelor’s degree and his doctorate in Berlin but did not make any religious pressure on him. After finishing his doctorate he returned to Senta where he taught Greek and Latin in a local gymnasium. He spent his life close to his books and was not interested in traveling. Grandmother took after her father, Moric, who was not religious whereas grandfather was traditional in his religious practices. He went to synagogue and observed some of the traditional practices and was an active member of the Neolog community. [Following a Congress in 1868/69 in Budapest, where the Jewish community was supposed to discuss several issues on which the opinion of the traditionalists and the modernizers differed and which aimed at uniting Hungarian Jews, Hungarian Jewry was officially split into to (later three) communities, which all built up their own national community network. The Neologs were the modernizers, who opposed the Orthodox on various questions.]  Grandmother accepted these practices as the status quo at home but when she was on her travels she would not adhere to them. Grandfather died young, at the age of 51, on December 2, 1929 and is buried in the Jewish cemetery in Senta.  He had one sister, Berta, who lived in Novi Sad. Berta, her daughter Kati and the rest of her family were killed in the raid of Novi Sad in January 1943.

Kalman and Tereza Hacker had one daughter, Suzana Hacker. My mother was born in Senta on February 25, 1915 and raised there. She studied at the secular gymnasium in Subotica. In 1932, at the age of 17, she married Dusan Necak, a Serbian officer in the Royal Yugoslav Army who was stationed in Subotica. They were married in Prilep [Macedonia] in a Serbian Orthodox church. At the time of the marriage my mother changed her name to Dusanka Necak. She was not religious and did not observe any Jewish holidays or practices nor did she observe the Serbian Orthodox practices. They had two children, my sister Marina and me. As father was an officer in the army we moved around a lot during the pre-war years but regardless of where we were most of our friends were people from the Jewish community in that town. When I was born we were living in Novi Sad, and by the time the war started father was already permanently stationed and working in Belgrade.

During the war

When the war began we were living in Belgrade. At the time mother’s mother, Tereza, was also with us. When the Jews were rounded up in Belgrade she moved us in with family friends, the Djordjevic family, who lived on Knez Milos Street. Grandmother went back to Senta and mother did not tell anyone where she had moved us, thereby breaking all connections with her past. Mother went into this form of hiding because of her Jewish background but also because she was a member of a revolutionary group that had killed a police officer and whose members were being arrested. We lived with this family for the first half of the war and around 1942 we moved to stay with another family in Belgrade, also named Djordjevic. At one point, when all the Jews were told to register themselves with the authorities in Tasmajdan Park mother went to register herself. The clerk she handed her papers to looked through her paperwork and saw that there was no mention of her Jewish background. He ripped up her registration form and advised her that if ever asked she should make up a story about her parents’ background and would thereby avoid registering herself as a Jew. While we were living with these two Djordjevic families we were able to walk on the street and do many daily tasks because we had Serbian last names and had distanced ourselves from the family and friends.

At the beginning of the war, my father was captured and was taken to a camp in the Italian occupied zone. He escaped from that camp and was traveling back to Serbia by train when he was spotted by an acquaintance in the Zagreb train station. The acquaintance had him arrested and he was immediately deported to Jasenovac [concentration camp] were he was killed.

After the war

After the war we remained in Belgrade where mother worked as a financial clerk. My mother currently resides in the Jewish old age home in Belgrade. My sister Marina died in 1996 in Belgrade. I live in Belgrade with my wife, Matilda. I'm a semi-retired architect and Matilda, a landscape architect. 

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