Travel

Domonkos Miksa - A Pokol Polgármestere

Egyedi magyar történet, gyűjteményünk különlegessége. Domonkos Miksa az Osztrák-Magyar Monarchia idején az első világháborúban szolgált, és elismert, többszörösen kitüntett katonatiszt volt. A második világháború alatt gyakorlatilag a budapesti gettó polgármestere volt; ételt, ellátást, gyórgyszereket hozatott a gettóba, együtt dolgozott Raoul Wallenberggel és sokat tett , hogy embereket védelmezzen és életeket mentsen. Az 1950-es években Domonkos Miksát letartóztatta és elhurcolta a kommunista Államvédelmi Hatóság, az ÁVO, azzal a váddal, hogy ő ölte meg Wallenberget.
Egy figyelemre méltó történet emberi bátorságról és tragédiáról.

Miksa Domonkos: The Mayor Who Worked In Hell

A story from Hungary unlike any other in our collection. Miksa Domonkos was a decorated soldier in the Austro-Hungarian Army in the First World War. During the Second World War, he acted as the de facto mayor of the infamous Budapest ghetto, bringing in food and medicine to save lives, and working closely with Raoul Wallenberg to protect even more. In the 1950s, the Communist secret police arrested Miksa Domonkos and accused him of murdering Wallenberg. A story of remarkable bravery, and of tragedy.

Повернення до Рівне: Історія Голокосту

Це найбільш незвичайний фільм CENTROPA на сьогоднішній день. Шеллі Вейнер та Рая Кіжнерман живуть в місті Грінсборо, штат Північна Кароліна. Але, ці дві доброзичливі бабусі народилися в галасливому місті Рівне – на той час в Польщі, зараз в Україні. У 1941 році в Рівному проживали 20 000 євреїв. Проте, коли німецький Вермахт і Ваффен СС увірвалися в місто, вони планували вбити кожного знайденого єврея. Як Шеллі та Рая пережили це масове вбивство, вони розповідають самі, не довго після того, як відвідали Рівне в 2013 році. Старі фотографіії та вишукані, виконані на замовлення, малюнки художника Емми Флік. Анімаційний дизайн Вольфганга Ельса.

Return to Rivne: A Holocaust Story

Centropa’s most unusual film to date. Shelly Weiner and Raya Kizhnerman live in Greensboro, NC. But these two kindly grandmothers were born in the bustling city of Rivne—then in Poland, now in Ukraine. In 1941 20,000 Jews lived in Rivne, but when the German Wehrmacht and the Waffen SS stormed into town, they planned on murdering every Jew they could find. How Shelly and Raya survived the massacre is a story they tell themselves, not long after they visited Rivne in 2013. With old photographs and exquisite, custom-made drawings by artist Emma Flick. Motion graphics by Wolfgang Els.

Dósai Istvánné

Életrajz

Dósai Istvánné külkereskedelmi munkája révén bejárta a világot. Kellemes, szépen berendezett újlipótvárosi lakásában beszélgettünk, sok könyv és külföldről hozott emlék között.

A felmenőimről általában a nagyszüleimig vannak személyes emlékeim és tudomásom. De van egy unokatestvérem, aki régóta kutatja a családfánkat és tőle – az interjú kapcsán – szereztem tudomást több ősömről, így például megtudtam, hogy volt két főrabbi is az őseim között. Az egyik: Friedländer Ármin (született 1790–95 között Bonyhádon), aki Meir Zvi néven (vagy Meir Hirsch néven, mert állítólag a német Hirsch – szarvas – megfelelője a héber Zvi) volt először Bonyhádon segédrabbi, majd Nagysurányban lett főrabbi [Nagysurány – nagyközség Nyitra vm.-ben, 1891-ben 4600 lakossal. A trianoni békeszerződéssel Csehszlovákiához került. – A szerk.]. Itt tudományos munkáival is kitűnt, szerepel a Zsidó Lexikonban is [F. Meir Hirsch], anyai nagyanyám anyjának, Friedländer Rozáliának az apja volt.

A másik főrabbi: a fenti dédnagyanyámnak, Friedländer Rozáliának a testvére volt Friedländer Erzsébet, ennek egyik fia volt Brach Salamon, aki 1865-ben, Nyitrán született [Nyitra város Nyitra vm. székhelye volt, lakosainak száma az 1850-es években már meghaladta a 9000 főt. – A szerk.]. Hihetetlen nagyon sokáig élt, 1940-ben halt meg Kassán. Ő a nyitrai jesivában tanult, majd Nagymagyarra hívták, ahol kb. 1890–1910 között volt rabbi [Nagymagyar – kisközség volt Pozsony vm.-ben, 1891-ben 1200, 1910-ben 1300 lakossal. A trianoni békeszerződéssel Csehszlovákiához került. – A szerk.]. Innét 1910-ben Nagykárolyba ment a családjával. Itt volt főrabbi kb. 1925-ig, ekkor újból a Felvidékre, Kassára ment, itt volt ortodox főrabbi. A kassai temetőben ma is létezik a sírja, ami a korabeli szokásoknak megfelelően egy kis ház, ablakkal, benne egy igen egyszerű, kőből faragott, nem díszes sír, ahogyan az ortodox főrabbikat temetni szokás volt. Brach Salamon tehát apai nagyanyám unokaöccse volt. Ezt mind ez az unokatestvérem találta meg levéltárakban [A szlovákiai temetők internetes honlapja (Virtuálne Cintoríny Slovenska) tartalmaz Brach Salamonra vonatkozó adatokat: e szerint 1924-től volt kassai rabbi, és 1929-től főrabbi. Felesége neve: Manželka Regina, született Krausz. Brach Salamonnak hét fia és öt lánya volt. – A szerk.].

Ipolyságon a mai napig az apai fölmenőimnek hihetetlen hosszan visszamenőleg megvan a családi sírboltja [Ipolyság – nagyközség volt Hont vm.-ben, 1919-ig székhelye volt a vármegye törvényhatóságának, a járási szolgabírói hivatalnak, kir. törvényszéknek, járásbíróságnak és egyéb megyei és járási hivataloknak. Lakosainak száma 1891-ben 3200, 1910-ben 4200, 1919-ben 4700 fő volt. A trianoni békeszerződéssel Csehszlovákiához került. – A szerk.]. Állítólag 1790-ig az Osztrák–Magyar Monarchiában a zsidóknak nem volt vezetékneve. Hanem úgy, ahogy ma például az arab országokban, a fiú az apja keresztnevét vette föl, tehát mondjuk, Mose ben Joachim, tehát Joachim fia, Mózes. És 1790-ben hoztak egy olyan kötelező erejű rendeletet, hogy nekik is be kell írni a vezetéknevet [A rendeletet 1788-ban hozták. Lásd: zsidó vezetéknevek. – A szerk.]. A családfakutató unokatestvérem azt mondja, hogy nem száz százalékig bizonyított, de az ő kutatásai alapján úgy lett a család Hirschberg, hogy a ma is meglévő németországi Hirschberg nevezetű községből származtak. Ő kutatta, hogy vajon mi Hirschberg vagy Hirschbergerek vagyunk-e. Kiderítette, hogy „er” nélkül az igazi, csak el lett egyszer írva. 

Apai dédnagyapám, Hirschberger Ignác Nagysárón született, ez Hont és Bars megye határán volt [Nagysáró – Bars vm.-i kisközség, 1891-ben 1000 főnyi lakossal. A trianoni békeszerződéssel Csehszlovákiához került, ma Veľke Šarovce néven Szlovákiához tartozik. – A szerk.]. Tompán élt mint nagybirtokos, de kocsmája is volt. Tompa Hont vármegyében volt, legalábbis nagyapám és nagyanyám Nyitrán l897-ben kiállított házassági anyakönyvi kivonata szerint [A Hont vm.-ben lévő Kistompa nevű településről van szó, ahol a lakosok száma az 1910-es népszámlálás idején alig haladta meg a 190 főt. – A szerk.]. Felesége, dédnagyanyám, Fauféder (egyes anyakönyvek szerint: Faunféder) Háni. Az eredeti Háni név gyakran mint Johanna vagy magyarul Janka szerepel. Ő 1851-ben született, Vámosladányban [Vámosladány ­– kisközség volt Bars vm.-ben, 1891-ben közel 1300 lakossal. Trianon után Csehszlovákiához került. – A szerk.], meghalt 1917-ben. Az érdekesség kedvéért említem itt, hogy a dédszüleim tíz gyermeke közül három fiú már 1905-ben Hollóra magyarosította a nevét [lásd: névmagyarosítás]. Valószínűleg ezért magyarosított apám és Ottó bátyja 1945-ben szintén Hollóra.

Apai nagyapám anyakönyvezett neve Hirschberger Joachim volt, a nagyapja után, aki 1791-ben született Petschauban [Petschau Csehországban van, Karlovy Varytól délre, ma Bečov nad Teplounak hívják. – A szerk.]. Ükapám 1858-ban halt meg, felesége Hahn Katalin volt, aki született 1813-ban, Strassnitzban [Straussnitz (a mai Stružnice Csehországban). – A szerk.], de nem tudjuk, hol és mikor halt meg. Még élt 1869-ben, ekkor mint özvegy kereskedőnőről van róla feljegyzés. Az ükszüleim a Felvidéken éltek. Apai nagyapám Magyarországon az Ármin keresztnevet használta. Erről annyit tudtam meg, hogy a német Joachim név idővel „átment” Hermanba, majd ezt használták Magyarországon Árminként.

A dédszüleim nagyon jómódú emberek voltak. Földbirtokaik voltak, dédapám a nagyapámat ott először gabonaügynökként foglalkoztatta, így is találkozott össze a nagymamámmal. Ugyanis nagyanyám apja, Wertheimer Mór gabonakereskedő volt, nagyapám apjának a birtokain pedig gabona termett, így a két apa (a két dédapám) üzleti kapcsolatban állt egymással. Még az is feltételezhető, hogy a kor szokásainak is megfelelően a szülők beszélték meg a házasságkötést is. A nagyapámnak volt kilenc testvére, és ezeket különböző üzleti ágakra oszthatta be a család. Voltak köztük, akik gabonatermesztéssel és kereskedéssel foglalkoztak, volt, akinek kocsmája volt, azután elkezdtek textillel is foglalkozni. A századfordulón, ami textíliával kapcsolatos, az Bécs, tehát átköltözött egy részük Bécsbe, így nagyapámék is. Apám és az összes testvére már ott született. Aztán 1910-ben Bécsből átköltöztek Budapestre. Feltételezem, hogy ebben szerepe lehetett az Újpesten lévő Újpest-Warsdorfi  szövőgyárnak, ami valószínűleg részben a tulajdonuk lehetett, mindenesetre apám egy ideig ott dolgozott. Ezek az ismeretek csak a gyerekkoromból származó családi elbeszélésekre épülnek. A textilgyár egy magyar–osztrák gyár volt. Azt hiszem, ez volt az elődje az Újpesti Gyapjúszövőgyárnak [Az újpesti Warnsdorfi Szövetgyár Rt.-ről van szó, amely 1949-ig magánvállalatként működött, akkor magába olvasztotta az Újpesti Gyapjúfonó- és Szövőgyár Rt., amelyet 1948-ban államosítottak, és az Iparügyi Minisztérium Posztóipari Központja irányítása alá rendelték, és amely ekkor vette föl az Újpesti Gyapjúszövőgyár nevet. – A szerk.]. Az épületei egyébként ma is megvannak. Az apu később ennek kapcsán tanulhatta ki a textiltechnikusságot. Amikor összeházasodtak anyámmal, akkor egy ideig ott is laktak a gyár területén. Akkoriban divat volt, hogy egy nagyobb gyárnál a tulajdonosnak meg a vezető tisztviselőknek ott volt saját tisztviselőlakás-rész, és ott laktak. Jellemző még nagyapám üzleti érzékére, hogy az 1920-as években már egy mozit is bérelt vagy tulajdonolt, ezt nem tudom pontosan, Budapesten, a Visegrádi utca 11-ben. Ez volt a Diana mozi, aminek azért lett jelentősége, mert apám és anyám itt ismerkedett meg: ugyanis anyámék ebben a házban laktak ekkor, és mint ifjú, nagyon szép lány sokat járt a házban lévő moziba, ahol apám is sokat megfordult mint a tulaj vagy bérlő fia [A Visegrádi utca 11/a. számú ház nyitott belső udvarában működött a Diana mozi. Nem tudjuk pontosan, mikor indult, 1914-ből van adat róla. Egyike volt azoknak a moziknak, amelyeknek nem sikerült átmenteniük magukat az 1930-as évek elején a némafilm korszakából a hangosfilm korszakába. – A szerk.].

Nagyanyám, Wertheimer Netti 1874-ben született. Tízen voltak gyerekek. Úgy anyakönyvezték, hogy Netti, de nekem mindig Anna nagymama volt. Az Anna nagymama soha nem tanult meg rendesen magyarul, csak németül beszélt, valószínűleg gimnáziumban érettségizett [A nagymama születési évét tekintve ez valószínűtlen. Lásd: nők a felsőoktatásban. – A szerk.] Ez egy nagyon vallásos ortodox család volt. Azt hiszem, hogy az Anna nagymama nagyon vallásos lehetett. Onnét gondolom, mert a gyerekkoromra úgy emlékszem vissza, hogy megtartottak minden ünnepet, a nagymama templomba is járt a nagyobb ünnepeken. Mivel a nagymamám unokatestvére és a nagyapja is főrabbi volt, érthető, hogy ő tényleg vallásos asszony volt, aki mindent betartott. De a nagyapám már egy neológ családból származott. Nagymamának volt egy gyönyörű, fekete ünnepi csipkekendője. És azzal ment mindig, amikor templomba ment hosszúnapkor [Jom Kipur]. Az volt a szokás, hogy a nagymamát elkísértük a templomba, otthagytuk, ő egész nap ott imádkozott, a család egy része még böjtölt is. Este érte kellett menni, és mikor hazajött, akkor jött a gyönyörű ünnepi vacsora. Tényleg szép szokások voltak egyébként, egy hely mindig üresen állt annak, hogyha valaki jön. Apámnak és a nagyapámnak volt még  imaszíja és tálesze, amit magukra tettek, amikor imádkoztak.

A család az apámék részéről is elneológosodott. Bár a hagyományokat mindig tartották. Étkezési szokásokban, nagyobb ünnepek betartásában és egy bizonyos fokig életmódban. Kóserül étkeztek, külön tartották a tejes és húsos edényeket [lásd: étkezési törvények], az ünnepeket megtartották, Jom Kipurkor böjtöltek, Pészahkor, szédereste a má nistánót [lásd: má nistáná] sokáig én mondtam, mint a legkisebb.

Apám szüleinek volt öt gyerekük. Sajnos kettő már gyerekkorában meghalt. Szörnyű módon haltak meg, savanyúcukortól megfulladtak. Én így ismertem a családi legendát, de az unokatestvérem kiderítette, hogy állítólag csak az egyik, a másik valamilyen torokgyíkszerűségben. Úgyhogy nálunk a családban, amióta az eszemet tudom, gyerekeknek kemény savanyúcukrot adni nem lehetett. A kisebbik lányom volt már vagy húsz éves, mikor erre rájött: „Te jó Isten! Hát ezért irigyeltem én gyerekkoromban mindenkit, hogy van savanyúcukruk, és én nem kaphattam!”

Lehettek apámék, mondjuk, olyan tíz évesek, amikor egy szép napon a bátyja, Ottó nagyon belázasodott. Negyven fokos láza lett, és fájt minden tagja, és a nagymamám, ahogy az akkor szokásos volt többgyerekes családban, hogyha valamilyen fertőző betegség vagy influenza van, essenek rajta egyszerre túl a gyerekek, és így, ahogy megfürdette a nagybátyámat, abban a vízben végigfürdette a többit. A nagybátyám gyermekbénulást kapott. Mindkét lába megbénult, és egész életében mindkét lábán géppel tudott csak járni. És a nagyanyám, úgy mondják, hogy azon az egy-két éjszakán, amikor ez kiderült, vagyis lebénultan ott maradt az egyik gyereke, és ő várta, hogy a többivel mikor lesz, hófehérre őszült. Én már úgy emlékszem rá, hogy ezüstfehér haja volt.

Az apai nagyszüleim a Rákóczi út 62-ben laktak. Ez egy gyönyörű, legalább öt- vagy hatszobás nagypolgári lakás volt, csodaszép selyemtapétákkal végigtapétázva, nagyon szép bútorokkal, festményekkel, rengeteg könyv volt, illett tudni még a németen kívül is egy nyelvet. A nagybátyám, ha fölmentünk apámmal hozzájuk gyerekkoromban, akkor kifaggatott latinból, elém rakott egy adag Cicerót, hogy most fordítsam le – mert ugye gimnáziumba jártam, és latinos voltam. Úgyhogy azt mondanám, hogy egy tipikus pesti értelmiségi életet éltek. Apámék családja németül úgy beszélt, mint magyarul. Apám maga is meg a nagybátyám, mindegy volt nekik, hogy németül vagy magyarul beszélnek-e. Náluk természetes volt, hogy sokszor németül beszéltek. Apámék családjában a napi politikai élet beszédtéma volt, vitatkoztak, újságot járattak. Egy kifejezetten liberális szellemű család volt, és amellett szabadgondolkodó, mindenre nyitott család volt apáméké.

A nagyapámnak volt egy lótenyészete is, habár ez a legendák körébe tartozik, és nem tudom, hogy mennyiben volt igaz. Nyilván az 1928–29-es világválság [lásd: 1929-es gazdasági világválság] lehetett az alapja annak, hogy tönkrement a szövőgyár, tönkrement a lótenyészet. És a nagyapám 1930. december 4-én öngyilkos lett. Ott laktak akkor Budapesten, a Rákóczi úton, és ő kiugrott a negyedik emeleti lakásuk előtt a körfolyosóról az udvarra, és meghalt.

Az apáméknál a család jó anyagi körülmények között élt. Kivéve, amikor a nagypapa öngyilkos lett. Akkor nagyon rájuk járhatott a rúd, mert apám akkor egyetemre járt, hogy textilmérnök legyen, és abbahagyta, elment dolgozni. Nem tudom, hogy hová, de ő tartotta el akkor a családot, mert a testvére, az Ottó nem tudott járni, másrészt tanult, egyetemre járt, és őbelőle ügyvéd lett.

Amikor Ottó nagybátyám megnősült, az Anna nagymama nagy bánatára a saját gépírónőjét –egy nagyon szép, nem zsidó, sváb nőt –, Hausler Piroskát vette el, aki hogy a felesége lehessen a nagybátyámnak, be is tért. Az esküvő a lakáson volt, oda kijött a rabbi, és a hüpe alatt eskette őket.

Az anyai nagymamám, Sitzman Zosia [1890 körül – 1954] valahol a mai Lengyelországban született. A Zosia nevet használták később Magyarországon Zsófiaként, nekem mindig csak Tutyu nagymama volt. Az apja egy nagy földbirtokon volt intéző. A nagymamámnak az anyja a szülésbe belehalt. A nagymamám apjának mint intézőnek a ló volt a normál közlekedési eszköze, és egyszer a ló megbokrosodott, levetette magáról [a dédapát], és meghalt. A nagymamám árva maradt, ekkor lehetett úgy négy-öt éves. A nagyanyám anyjának néhány rokona itt élt Magyarországon, valahol Dömsödön, odakerült a nagyanyám, iszonyú rossz sorba. Anyámtól tudtam meg, hogy ezekhez a nagynéni-nagybácsiszerű rokonaihoz került, azok nevelték föl, de cselédként tartották a nagymamámat. A családot kiszolgálta, cipőt pucolt, a konyhában aludt. Nem járatták iskolába. A nagyanyám felnőtt korában tanult meg írni és olvasni.

Édesanyám apja Beke Mihály [Dömsöd, 1885 körül – Budapest, 1944] volt. Ez a nagyapám római katolikus volt. Ez egy dömsödi középbirtokos parasztcsalád volt, dohányföldjeik voltak. Szóval elég jómódúak lehettek, voltak vagy hatan testvérek. Amikor a nagyapám megismerkedett a nagymamámmal, aki egy gyönyörű nő volt, teljesen beleszeretett, olyannyira, hogy betért. A nagypapát körül is metélték. Itt nem volt mese, mert különben nem lett volna elfogadva. Őt ezért a családja kitagadta. Összesen maradt egy testvére, a Róza néni, aki tartotta vele a kapcsolatot.

A nagymama templomegere szegény volt, a nagypapámnak, azzal együtt, hogy vegyes házasság miatt kitagadták a családból, valami jussa nyilván lehetett. A házasságkötésük után beköltöztek Pestre, és a nagymamám nyitott egy baromfikereskedést a Lehel piacon, de a háború alatt [az első világháború alatt] a bolt nem ment. A nagyapám persze bevonult katonának, hadifogoly is volt. A nagymama a gyerekeit abból tartotta el, hogy mosást vállalt otthon. Amikor a nagyanyám „házhoz” ment mosni, akkor anyám főzött otthon. De olyan kicsi volt, hogy nem érte föl a sparheltet, és hokedlire állt, úgy főzött a testvéreinek. A Lehel téri baromfikereskedése a nagymamámnak még az én gyerekkoromban is megvolt. Ez egy kóser baromfibolt volt a piacon, volt ilyen ott több is. Az élő baromfit, libát, kacsát, tyúkot a sakter vágta le. Vagy kijött a nagymama standjára vágni és kóserolni, vagy hozzá vitték az állatokat.

A nagymamám meg a nagypapám nem éltek jól, bár lett hat gyerekük. Anyám, Margit meg az ikerpárja, Aladár 1910-ben született. Akkor Lenke, Piroska és László, és volt a legkisebb, Ibike, aki meghalt gyerekkorában. Amikor véget ért a világháború, a nagyapám hazajött. Még egy pár évig együtt éltek nagyanyámmal, akkor valamennyire föllendült a kereskedés, de  különváltak, mert a nagypapát a nagymama nem bírta, se a könnyelműségét, se azt, hogy ivott. Ez a két különböző kultúrából való jövetel, valószínűnek tartom, ez nem jött össze.

A nagyapám nagyon szép szál ember volt, és ahogy anyámtól hallottam, kicsit dzsentris allűrjei voltak. Például a komája meghívta őt, hogy a lányának legyen a keresztapja, akkor vett egy pár briliáns fülbevalót neki, az öt gyereknek meg otthon éppen nem volt mit enni. Reggel úgy kelt föl – ezt még én is láttam gyerekkoromban –, hogy egy féldeci pálinkát bedobott. Ezt a nagymamám nagyon rosszul tűrte, és különváltak. El nem váltak soha. És ő soha többé a nagyapámmal még csak szóba sem állt. Aki tartotta vele a kapcsolatot, és aki mindvégig szeretetteljes viszonyban volt a nagyapámmal, az anyám volt. Ilyen módon gyerekkoromban nagyapámmal sokat találkoztam. Nagyon tehetséges volt, citerákat készített. Ő maga is szépen citerázott.

Ami a családban egy híres történet volt, és amit anyám meg a testvérei meg nagyanyám meglehetős megvetéssel meséltek el az anyai nagyapám családjáról mint csökönyös parasztokról: dohányföldjeik voltak, volt vagy hat gyerek, jött az első világháború, és több korosztályt hívtak be katonának. A nagyapám egyik testvére, hogy ne vigyék el katonának, úgy gondolta, hogy egy kicsit megbetegíti magát. És ezért egy köteg dohánylevelet beáztatott, és megitta. Hát katonának nem is vitték el, csak vitték a temetőbe, mert természetesen a megivott dohánylébe belehalt. Elég morbid történet, és ezt úgy mesélték mindig teljesen kiborulva anyámék, hogy micsoda csökönyös fajzat, és micsoda buták, hogy ezt csinálták. Én se tudtam erre mást mondani vagy gondolni. Ez nagyon eltért az ő gondolkodásmódjuktól, amiben a nagyanyám részéről biztosan az volt, hogy mindent túl kell élni, és mindig valamit csinálni kell, hogy túléljük.

Az anyai nagyanyám elég kemény asszony volt. Egy ilyen pionírasszony-szerűség volt, egy kőkemény és erős nő, aki gyakorlatilag egyedül nevelte föl az öt gyerekét. Meg kell mondanom, hogy így is viselkedett a gettóban is. Ő tartotta a családban a lelket, aki azt mondta, hogy mindent túl lehet élni, és túl fogjuk élni. Predesztinálta őt az az elképesztő gyerekkor, ő azt tanulta meg, hogy túl kell élni. Nagyapáméknál meg ezek szerint az lehetett, hogy hogyan lehet kibújni a kötelezettség alól, és így ráfáztak.

Van egy olyan családi legenda, hogy akkor voltak osztálysorsjegyek. Lehetett egészet venni, felet, negyedet, nyolcadot és a többi [Az osztálysorsjáték 1897-től állt fenn. Az állam az osztálysorsjáték rendezésének jogát az állami ellenőrzés fenntartásával 20 évre egy magánvállalatnak engedte át. A vállalat #1/8, #1/4, #1/2 és egész sorsjegyeket bocsátott ki, és minden évben két sorsjátékot rendezett. Egy-egy játék 6 osztályból (húzásból) állt, és minden hónapra egy-egy húzás esett. A legkisebb részsorsjegy ára legalább 1,5 korona volt. – A szerk.]. A nagymama vett egyszer egy ilyen sorsjegyet, de közbejött valamilyen iskolai rendezvény, és anyuéknak nem volt cipőjük. A nagymama lement a szomszéd suszterhoz, és azt mondta, hogy nincs pénze, de odaadná ezt a sorsjegyet, ha megtenné, hogy az anyámnak meg az ikerbátyjának két magas szárú cipőt csinál. Így a gyerekeknek a vizsgán volt szép cipőjük. Nos, ez a sorsjegy ütötte meg a főnyereményt. Anyám úgy meséli, hogy éjszakákon át hangosan sírt a nagyanyám.

Anyai nagyanyámék a Visegrádi utca 11-ben laktak. Később aztán nagyanyámnak volt egy háromszobás lakása a Bulcsú utca 21/b-ben, ahol ott lakott anyám két húga is: Lenke a férjével és Piroska. Egy háromszobás nagyon szép lakás volt, megvan most is. Ez egy nagyon szépen, kispolgári módon berendezett lakás volt. Méghozzá úgy, hogy bár senki a családban komolyan nem zenélt, még zongora is volt benne. A zongorán csipketerítő volt, azon pedig zöld meg bordó Zsolnay eozin dísztárgyak [Az eozin jellegzetes, a Zsolnay-kerámiákon alkalmazott színjátszó színezőanyag. – A szerk.] – én borzasztónak találtam, de nagyanyáméknak tetszett.

Amikor önálló volt a család [Azaz a nagypapa már nem lakott velük – A szerk.], anyámék nehéz körülmények között éltek, ez teljesen biztos. De aztán a dolog javulhatott. Szerintem a nagymama kereskedői tevékenysége folytán. A sakter időnként ment hozzá, és ott valamit fújt, és lepecsételte, és akkor azok kóser dolgok voltak, ami vágott volt [A sakter valószínűleg a levágott állat légcsövét fújta föl, ellenőrizendő, nem volt-e sérült, és ilyenformán tréfli a baromfi. Ha nem, ha a levágott szárnyas megfelelt a kóserség szabályainak, megkapta az ezt igazoló pecsétet. Lásd még: hechser. – A szerk.]. Az élő az nem, mert nála élő baromfit is lehetett kapni, meg vágottat is. A nagymama éjjel 3 körül kelt, 4 órára ment megvenni az állatokat, amiket egy hordár húzott kézikocsin a standjára, a Lehel téri piacra.

Anyámék családja semmilyen nyelven nem beszélt. Kivéve a nagyapámat, aki az első világháborúban olasz hadifogságba esett, megtanult olaszul, és megtanult – mert voltak ott angolok is – valamennyire angolul is. Azon a nyelven fejtett keresztrejtvényt, meg olvasott. Az anyai nagyanyámék családja kevésbé volt politikus, és kevésbé volt liberális, mint apámé, de  egy nagyon praktikus család volt. Anyám a napi életben nagyon jól kiismerte magát, és anyám húgai is. Szellemileg meglehetősen nagy volt a differencia, de ez soha nem érződött például a családi összejöveteleken. Nagyon jóban voltak egymással. De van egy nagyon érdekes dolog, most jutott eszembe. Vasárnaponként időnként együtt mentek futballmeccsre, vagy meghallgatták, amikor már volt a rádióban meccsközvetítés. Mindegyikük más csapatnak szurkolt, apám az MTK-nak, anyám ikertestvére, Aladár, aki a Vasasban bokszolt, persze a Vasasnak, anyám sógora, Lenke húga férje a Fradinak Így hát késhegyig menő viták voltak a meccsről, a csapatokról [lásd: világnézet és foci]. De vitáztak az aktuális kül- és belpolitikai eseményekről is, amit nem egyformán pesszimistán ítéltek meg. Elsősorban a zsidótörvényekről [lásd: zsidótörvények Magyarországon] folyt a szó, hogy mi jöhet még.

Az az érzésem, hogy az anyámék családja hagyományőrző okokból tartotta, amit tartott. Tehát nem hinném, hogy kifejezetten vallásos szemléletűek lettek volna. Nagyon szép széderesték voltak nálunk [Mármint az anyai nagymama lakásában – A szerk.], gyerekkoromban. Emlékszem rá, gyönyörű volt. Úgy kezdődött, hogy nagyanyám befogta az összes lányát, akik már külön laktak, akik házasok voltak, mint anyám például. Akkor fölmentek a padlásra, onnét előszedtek kóser edényeket, ami gyönyörű porcelán volt. Azokat lehozták. Akkor folyt egy hatalmas nagytakarítás [lásd: homecolás; Pészah]. Porszívó akkor még nem volt, mindent kisöpörtek, kiráztak, hogy ne maradjon morzsa se. [Szédereste] gyönyörű damaszttal megterítve, kihúzva az ebédlőben a nagyasztal, és csodaszép dolgokra emlékszem: a macesz az asztalon meg egyéb kellékei a széderesti asztalnak, amiből a diókrémet [Az interjúalany a hároszetre gondol. – A szerk.], azt nagyon szerettem. Aztán a torma meg bor meg minden. És nagyon sokáig, amíg én voltam a legkisebb, én mondtam a má nistánót [lásd: má nistáná]. Még ma is úgy a negyedéig el tudnám mondani. Úgyhogy ilyenek voltak. Ezek nagyon szép emlékeim. De meg kell mondanom, hogy ettől eltekintve, senki senkit nem nevelt arra, hogy vallásos legyen. 

Anyai nagyapám 1944 nyarán megbetegedett. Valami nagyon súlyos betegség kapta el, és kórházba került. 1944 nyarán már ugye nagy bajok voltak. Már kijárni sem lehetett teljesen simán [A zsidók számára kijárási tilalmat a csillagos házak kialakítása után vezettek be: 1944. június végétől ezeket a házakat csak meghatározott időpontok között volt szabad elhagyni. – A szerk.]. De az anyu változatlanul járt be hozzá, meg küldött be hozzá küldöncöt, akivel küldött be neki cigarettát, tiszta fehérneműt, ennivalót, pénzt és a többit. Aztán akkor nyáron meg is halt a kórházban.

Találtam egy levelet, amit a nagyapám írt anyámnak a kórházból 1944 nyarán: Drága Mancikám! Köszönöm, hogy ezt meg ezt küldtél, most engem áthelyeztek egy másik kórterembe, nem érzem magam nagyon jól, mert csupa zs. [azaz zsidó] között vagyok. Írja a nagyapám az anyámnak, aki fél zsé, továbbá sárga csillagot viselve jár be hozzá a kórházba! Anyámat ez valószínűleg nagyon megrendíthette, bár soha nekem erről nem szólt egy szót se, mert ezt a levelet 1944-ben eltette, és a haláláig őrizte. A sors iróniája, hogy anyám zsidó temetőbe temettette el őt 1944 nyarán.

Anyai nagymamám körülbelül 1954-ben halt meg.

Anyám testvérei közül Aladár, az ikertestvére magas, szép férfi volt, nagyapámra hasonlított. Ő autószerelő volt, a Vasasban bokszolt amatőrként. Munkaszolgálatra vitték, Ukrajnában halt meg, valószínűleg 1942-ben. Lenke húga férjhez ment Breitner Sándorhoz, akinek egy nagy hentesüzlete volt, ugyancsak a Lehel téri piacon. Piroska húga lány maradt, konyhavezetőként dolgozott az apám által szervezett Joint konyhák egyikén, amíg ezek léteztek. László öccse a munkaszolgálatot megúszta – nem emlékszem már, hol is volt –, hazajött, rendőrtiszt lett, innét nyugdíjazták.

Anyámék a Visegrádi utca 11. szám alatt laktak. Abban az udvarban volt egy Diana nevezetű mozija az apai nagyapáméknak. Ott ismerkedett meg anyám és apám, 1929-ben volt az eljegyzésük, és 1930-ban esküdtek. Az apám nem nagyon mesélt a család múltjáról. Illetve egy-egy drámai esemény forgott közszájon a családban, mint például apám két húgának ez a fatális halála. Híres volt anyám meg apám megismerkedésének a története, abban a bizonyos Visegrádi utcai Diana moziban. Hogy anya olyan feltűnően szép volt. Én 1931-ben születtem. Én Hirschberger Zsuzsinak születtem, de a nevem Holló Zsuzsa lett. Mi ugyanis már 1945-ben magyarosítottuk a nevünket – mi is és apám Ottó bátyja is – Hollóra. A Holló nevet valószínűleg a családi folyamatosság miatt választották, mert már 1905-ben erre magyarosította a nevét dédapám, Hirschberger Ignác három fia (a nagyapám nem).

Apáéknak mindig volt társaságuk. Jártak hozzánk kártyázni, anyámék is eljártak. Rendszeresen jártak étterembe vacsorázni. Apámék igazi családi barátai között nagyon sok volt a zsidó. De volt nem zsidó is. Én azt gondolom, hogy tudatosan biztos, hogy nem volt szempont [zsidó barátok választása]. Mert a mi családunk, de a nagyanyáméké is, nagyon szabadelvű család volt. De valószínűsíthető, hogy egyfajta azonos ízlésvilág meg hagyományvilág miatt több volt a zsidó barátjuk. Anyám egyik legjobb barátnője, Ledő Marika keresztény volt.

Kisgyerekkoromban – emlékszem, hogy mivel apáéknak volt egy csomó bécsi meg akkori csehszlovákiai [lásd: Első Csehszlovák Köztársaság] rokona, én az 1950-es években, amikor nem lehetett elutazni sehová [lásd: utazás külföldre 1945 után] – mindig úgy emlékeztem vissza gyerekkoromból ezekre a párbeszédekre, mint a paradicsomra. Hogy apám azt monda anyámnak: „Te, Mancika! Olyan gyönyörű idő van idén pünkösdkor, menjünk már ki pünkösdre Bécsbe!”  Anyám egy darabig kérette magát, aztán: „Na jól van, Walterkám! Hát menjünk ki.” Én meg elmentem a nagymamáékhoz két napra, vagy elvittek magukkal. És anyámék fölültek a vonatra, és egy hétvégére kimentek Bécsbe. Elmentek péntek este vagy péntek délben, és hazajöttek vasárnap este.

Gyerekkoromban az anyagi helyzetünk eléggé változó volt. Általában az akkor szokásos kispolgári módon éltünk, de hol jobban, hol rosszabbul ment apámnak. Azokban az években nem volt mindegy, hogy hol lakik valaki. Attól függően, hogy a Belvárosban, a Rózsadombon, itt vagy ott, ekkora vagy akkora lakása volt, a házbér egy nagyon jelentős tétele volt egy család költségvetésének. A Csáky utcában [lásd: Újlipótváros] egy nagyon szép lakásunk volt, az egy nagy lakás volt, azt föl kellett adni, és el kellett menni egy más környékre, egy kisebb lakásba. Így keveredtünk aztán a Tüzér utcába [A Tüzér utca Angyalföldön van, de inkább „belső Angyalföldön”, nem Angyalföld ipari övezetében. – A szerk.]. Ez a lakás a Tüzér utca 4-ben egy kis kétszobás lakás volt. Anyám édesanyja meg a testvérei ott laktak két lépésre, a Bulcsú utcában. Gyakorlatilag minden héten vasárnap fölmentünk délelőtt a nagymamához tisztelgő látogatást tenni virággal vagy parféval. Egyik hét vasárnapján az anyai nagyanyámhoz, másik hét vasárnapján pedig az apai nagymamámhoz mentünk.

Apám nem tudott textilmérnök lenni az ismert események [Azaz az apja korai halála. – A szerk.] miatt, és akkor magántisztviselő lett a Sonnenfeld és Társa vagy talán Sonnenfeld és Fiai nevű szerszámgép-kereskedelemmel foglalkozó cégnél. Ezeknél volt vezető tisztviselő.  És nagyon jól beletanult a gépipari szakmába. Ekkor nem keresett rosszul. Anyuék egy nagyon jó kispolgári életet éltek. Nyáron anyuval mi elmentünk nyaralni – nem külföldre, de akkor külföldre nagyon kevesen jártak nyaralni, és tulajdonképpen egész nyáron anyu meg én hol Budakeszin, hol Nagymaroson voltunk. Nagymaroson például az állomásfőnök házában béreltünk egy részt. Mert ugye az egészséges életmód kellett a gyereknek! Apám pedig minden hétvégén kijött utánunk. Sőt, kijártak hozzánk a hétvégeken barátok, családtagok is. 

Apám mindig is járatott újságot. Arra emlékszem, hogy apámnak a reggeli első dolga az volt, hogy kiment az újságjáért. Mert volt olyan újság, ami járt hozzánk, és akkor azt még betették a bejárati ajtó kilincsébe. Az apu „Az Est” lapot járatta és egy sportújságot, de vásárolta még  a „Színházi Élet”-et is, meg  valamilyen irodalmi folyóiratot is [„Az Est” – 1910–1939 között megjelenő politikai napilap, délutáni lap, kiadója Miklós Andor, 1919-től az Est-lapok egyike; „Színházi Élet” – 1912 és 1938 között megjelent népszerű képes hetilap volt sok színes tudósítással a korabeli színházi és filmvilág életéről. Incze Sándor alapította és szerkesztette Harsányi Zsolttal közösen. – A szerk.].

Anyai nagymamám betartotta a zsidó vallási ünnepeket, a lányai is, anyám is. Emlékszem a gyerekkorombeli péntek esti gyertyagyújtásra, ami szép, hangulatos volt. Anyámnak fehér csipkekendője volt, azt terítette a fejére, a nagymamának meg fekete csipkekendője volt. Anyám sokáig gyújtott péntek esténként gyertyát, és a csipkekendővel a fején, gyönyörű kézmozdulatokkal a gyertya felett imádkozott [lásd: gyertyagyújtás].

A Bulcsú utcai házban volt egy pékség, ami – azt hiszem – egy Friedmann nevű bácsié volt. Ennél a péknél sült minden pénteken a sólet. Ide vitték le a sóletet sütni a nagyanyámék is meg anyám is. A sóletet nem otthon sütötték, mert akkoriban nem volt olyan nagyon sok házban gáztűzhely. A legtöbb helyen, például nagyanyáméknál is, eredetileg egy úgynevezett sparhelt volt, amiben szénnel meg fával tüzeltek. Csak később vezették be a gázt. A sóletet, mint köztudott, este teszik be a kemencébe, és reggel veszik ki. Annak egy éjszaka kell. Tehát a pékeknél az egy nagyon komoly foglalatosság volt. Volt egy óriási piros fazekunk, abban benne volt a sólet, és le volt spárgával kötözve a fedele. És akkor a pékhez le kellett vinni, az ráragasztott egy számot, ugyanazt a számot megkapta, aki levitte, és másnap, szombat reggel lehetett menni érte. De előre kifizették, hogy ne kelljen szombaton pénzhez nyúlni [lásd: szombati munkavégzés tilalma], és akkor csak átadták a fazekat. Voltak nagy balhék, mert a pékek zöménél a péklegények a sóletben lévő nagyon finom húsokat lopták. És akkor a nagyságák visszamentek a pékhez, hogy hol van a hús. Hol a töltött libanyak? Mert az is volt benne.

Apám sose volt vallásos. Annak ellenére, hogy – gondolom, hogy inkább hagyományokból – bizonyos zsidó ünnepeket, hogy Hanuka meg hosszúnap [Jom Kipur] meg ilyesmi megtartottak. Nagy veszekedés volt egyszer az anyu meg az apu között, mert kiderült, hogy amikor böjtölni kellett volna, apám elment, és titokban valamelyik étteremben jól beebédelt [Az interjúalany föltehetően a Jom Kipur-i böjtre gondol. – A szerk.]. És ez valahogy kiderült, és anyám rettenetesen haragudott rá.

Nálunk borzasztó nagy érték volt a tanulás. Az volt a lényeg, hogy tanuljak. Nagyon szerettem is egyébként tanulni. Főleg nyelveket szerettem nagyon tanulni meg történelmet, irodalmat. Anyám azt mondta nekem, hogy én ne foglalkozzam a konyhával, nem is tanított meg főzni. Nekem csak tanulni kellett.

Elemibe a Sziget utcai elemi iskolába jártam. Itt végeztem a szokásos négy elemit. Elég eszes, szorgalmas és kötelességtudó voltam, így azután minden osztályt tiszta kitűnőre végeztem –anyám eltette a bizonyítványaimat, ma is megvannak –, habár szerintem énekből, tornából, kézimunkából csak azért kaptam jó jegyeket, hogy a bizonyítványt le ne rontsák, ugyanis hangom nem volt, ügyetlenül tornáztam, kézügyességem pedig semmi. Érdekes, hogy rossz tornász létemre, jó ritmusérzékem volt, anyuék járattak is balettra, a Trojanoff-féle balett-iskolába [Trojanov balettiskola – jó nevű intézmény volt az 1930-as években, számos híres táncos kezdte itt tanulmányait. – A szerk.], majd később, úgy tizenkét éves korom körül a Feleky Kamill-féle tánciskolába, szteppre. Feleky felesége, Fini néni volt a tanárunk.

[A Sziget utcai elemi iskolában] A lányok bejárata a Sziget utcából volt, mert ez nem volt koedukált iskola [lásd: koedukáció]. Úgy köszöntünk, mikor bejött a tanár, vagy amikor hazamentünk, hogy „Szebb jövőt!”, és a válasz az volt, hogy „Adjon Isten!”. Tehát ez már a legirredentább korszakban volt. Tanultunk irredenta dalokat is, de a dalok zömére már nem emlékszem. Persze volt a „Szép vagy, gyönyörű vagy, Magyarország”, úgy tudom, hogy éppenséggel egy zsidó írta ezt az egész gyönyörű dalt [A dal – „Szép vagy, gyönyörű vagy, Magyarország, szebb talán [máshol: gyönyörűbb], mint a nagyvilág. / Ha zeng a zeneszó, látom ragyogó szép orcád./ Táltos paripákon tovaszállunk, hazahív fű, fa, lomb s virág./ Úgy hív a hegedű, vár egy gyönyörű szép ország.” – Vincze Zsigmond (1874–1935) zeneszerző és karmester 1922-ben készült, „Hamburgi menyasszony” című operettjéből való. – A szerk.]. Valahányszor iskolai ünnepély volt, aki szavalt, annak mindig stilizált magyar ruhában kellett megjelennie, gyönyörű búzakalászos, pipacsos, búzavirágos pártában. Hát ez gyönyörű volt. Mi kell egy gyereknek ennél szebb? Úgyhogy attól el voltam ragadtatva.

Az ajtónkra ki kellett tűznünk – lehetett kapni különböző minőségben, különböző árban – Nagy-Magyarországot, ilyen vékony, mondjuk, alumínium- vagy rézlemezből. És volt egy kerete, nemzetiszínű keret. Ezt az ajtóra tűzni, és a Nagy-Magyarország alatt az volt, hogy „Nem, nem soha!”. Volt egy díszterme az iskolának, és előtte ott volt a magyar zászló, és ott őrséget kellett állni a tanulóknak egy ideig, de nem egész nap. És nagyon nagy szó volt, amikor megengedték, hogy egy fiú és egy lány álljon. Mert annyira nem volt koedukált akkor egy átlag magyarországi elemi iskola, hogy eleinte vagy két fiú állhatott őrséget, vagy két lány.

Amikor gimnáziumba kerültem, sajnos már az állami gimnáziumokban zsidópadok voltak, az utolsó vagy az utolsó előtti sorba ültették be a zsidó gyerekeket, és anyám azt mondta, hogy szó nem lehet arról, hogy így megszégyenítsenek. És messze az anyagi lehetőségeinken felül, beírattak a Lázár Piroska nevű zsidó leánygimnáziumba [lásd: Lázár Piroska-féle budapesti nyilvános jogú leánynevelő intézet]. Itt aztán minden áldott nap volt hittanóra. Újhébert tanultunk, zsidó történelmet, bibliafordítást.

A hittantanárunk az első órán bejött, és elmondta, hogy mi mindent kell megvennünk, többek közt a Bibliát. Mégpedig nem magyarul, hanem héberül. Merthogy meg fogjuk ugye tanulni a héber betűket. A következő hétfőn megkérdezte a hittantanárunk, hogy kinek nincsen Bibliája. Föltettem a kezemet, még egy-két lány föltette, és nagyon szigorúan azt kérdezte, hogy miért nincsen, miért nem jártál utána. Azt mondtam neki: „Tanár úr, kérem, dehogynem, anyukámmal egész szombaton kerestük.” És erre azt mondta nekem: „Szombaton? Na, ülj le, szégyelld magad!” Ezt soha életemben nem fogom elfelejteni, mert én úgy elképedtem, hogy mi rosszat mondtam. Úgyhogy ennyit a család vallásosságáról.

Miután engem kényszerűségből beírattak ebbe a rendkívül drága és kiváló gimnáziumba, ott aztán ezeket meg kellett tanulnom. De „sikerrel” elfelejtettem, őszintén meg kell mondanom.  Még ma is létezik néhány héber betű, amit fölismerek, de nem tudnék egy szöveget elolvasni.

Amikor apámat behívták munkaszolgálatra, ez 1942-ben lehetett, kaptunk tőle egy levelezőlapot, abban megírta, hogy Baracspusztára vitték el, ott gyakorlatoztatják őt, és hogy meg lehet látogatni [Baracspuszta – a két világháború között Tatárszentgyörgy község (Pest-Pilis-Solt-Kiskun vm.) közigazgatási része volt. – A szerk.]. Ide anyámmal kijártunk minden héten egyszer, és megmondták, hogy mit lehet vinni egy kis papundekli dobozban, például tiszta zoknit, élelmezési cikkeket, amit ott ellenőriztek, hogy az van-e benne. Vittünk pénzt is, mert a pénzért tudtak venni a kerettől, a honvédségi altisztektől cigarettát vagy kenyeret pluszban. Vonattal mentünk és busszal, mert ez egy olyan hely volt, aminek nem is volt vasútállomása, a vasútállomástól valami helyi busz ment ki oda, ahol tartották a munkaszolgálatosokat. És akkor egy órát a családtagok együtt lehettek.

Baracspusztán tűrhető volt a soruk a dolgok fizikai részét illetően. Hát nem az emberi méltóság részét illetően! Nem verték őket itt agyon, meg nem bántalmazták őket tudomásom szerint. Tudtunk volna arról, hogyha agyba-főbe verik őket, de nem verték, biztos vagyok benne, és nagyon lefogyva ugyan, és nagyon rossz állapotban, de megvoltak ezek a férfiak ott. Valamit ásattak velük, de nem tudom már, mit. Aztán ez a század kikerült Borba [lásd: bori rézbányák].

Egy szép napon fölrohant hozzánk a nagynéném, apám Gréte nővére, azzal, hogy ő biztos hírt kapott arról, hogy az apuékat viszik valahova, vagy Ukrajnába, vagy Borba. Borról mi akkor nem tudtunk, fogalmunk se volt, a szót se ismertük, és hogy azonnal menjünk, soron kívül, mert talán még meg lehet őket látogatni. És úgy, ahogy voltunk, kaptuk magunkat, anyám bedobált a mindig készenlétben álló kartondobozba élelmiszert, és rohantunk. Tényleg igaz volt a hír, apámékat másnap vagy harmadnap vitték el, és tényleg megengedték, hogy még egy búcsúlátogatás legyen. Úgyhogy ennek nagyon örültünk.

Hazajöttünk, és ahogy leszálltunk a villamosról, azt mondja anyám: „Tudod mit, Zsuzsika? Ne menjünk most haza, szaladjunk föl a nagymamáékhoz,  először mondjuk el, hogy mi volt, mert várják is a híreket.” Fölmentünk nagyanyámékhoz, és ahogy ott vagyunk, egyszerre csak nézem, hogy nagyanyáméknál a zongora tetején áll egy madárkalitka, és benne egy kis kanári. Mondom, hogy „Jé! Nagymama! Hát ti is vettetek kanárimadarat?”. Mert nekünk volt egy. A kanárimadár kint lakott az ablakpárkányon, csak estére vettük be. Egyszerre csak borzasztó kellemetlen csönd lett, nagyon zavart csönd. Kiderült a következő: amikor jött a nagynéném, hogy azonnal menjünk, mert viszik az apámék munkaszolgálatos századát, és lehet, hogy többé nem látjuk őket, az anyám éppen vasalt, és a vasalót bedugva felejtette, úgy mentünk el. A vasalódeszka fából volt, úgyhogy tüzet fogott, és a lakásunk leégett. A konyha körülbelül megmaradt, meg néhány könyv a könyvszekrényből. Sokáig őriztem is ezeket ilyen félig égett állapotban. A füstön kívül, ami tódult ki, ez az ablakpárkányra kirakott kanárimadár olyan eszeveszett lármát csapott, hogy erre figyeltek föl a szomszédok, és kihívták a tűzoltókat. Ez egy rettenetes csapás volt. Bár egy fantasztikus dolog volt: a fürdőszobában, mint akkor majdnem mindenhol, egy henger alakú kályha volt. Ennek a kályhának fölül volt egy fura koronaszerű képződménye, és az anyám a spórolt pénzünket meg az ékszereit egy vasdobozszerűségben ott tartotta fönt, és így a pénzünk megmaradt. De ezzel együtt ki kellett a lakást festetni, rendbe hozatni, és akkor a nagynénémék adtak elég sok pénzt nekünk, hogy valami bútort tudjunk venni magunknak. Ez 1942-ben vagy 1943-ban történt [Biztosan 1943-ban, hiszen 1943. júliusában született meg a megállapodás a magyar kormány és a Todt-szervezet között munkaszolgálatosok Borba vezényléséről (bár már június közepén megérkezett a munkaszolgálatosok első csoportja Borba). – A szerk.].

Anyám húgának, Lenkének és a férjének egy nagy és jól menő hentesüzlete volt a Lehel téri piacon. Annak egy részében árultak borjúhúst, egy részében lóhúst, mert ugye különböző pénztárcájú embereknek árultak. Először megvonták tőlük a lóhúsengedélyt, azt nem vásárolhattak be a Nagyvásárcsarnokban, nem árusíthattak. Aztán borjúhúst sem árusíthattak, aztán marhahúst sem árusíthattak. Tehát, magyarul, a megélhetésük egyre szűkült. De ez még mindig jó volt ahhoz képest, ami jött a nyilasok [lásd: nyilas hatalomátvétel] után. Valamennyire még megmaradtak olyan alapvető életfeltételek, amelyek között még lehetett mozogni.

1944. március 19., amikor a németek bejöttek, vasárnapra esett. Mi vasárnap iskolába jártunk, mert ebben a gimnáziumban szombaton volt a tanítási szünet [lásd: szombati munkavégzés tilalma], és vasárnap volt a szombat. Tehát ott voltunk vasárnap.  Ez úgy maradt meg az emlékezetemben, hogy egyszerre csak bejött az osztályfőnöknőnk az osztályba, suttogott egy kicsit a tanárunkkal, majd azt mondta: „Kislányok! Megszakítjuk a tanítást, most hazamentek. Öltözzetek föl szépen, menjetek haza a legrövidebb útvonalon, sehol meg ne álljatok bámészkodni! És addig nem jöttök iskolába, amíg a szülőkkel mi nem beszéltünk.” Hát nagyon örültünk. Vasárnap délelőtt volt, gyönyörű, napsütéses idő, és nagyon törtük a fejünket, hogy azért elmehetnénk egy kicsit valahová. De fura módon, volt valami furcsa érzés bennünk, így azután abban maradtunk, hogy akkor mindenki szalad haza. És amire hazamentünk, addigra anyám már halálra váltan fogadott, mert addigra a rádió már bemondta, hogy a németek „bevonultak a megsegítésünkre”.

Ha röviden akarnám jellemezni, akkor azt mondanám, hogy elkezdődött egy mérhetetlen szorongás és félelem. Gyakorlatilag akkor, 1944-ben a mi szűkebb családunknak a férfi tagjai már rég nem voltak otthon, hiszen mind bevonultak munkaszolgálatra még 1941-42-ben, és fogalmunk sem volt, hogy hol vannak, mi van velük. A mi családunkban az egyetlen férfi az édesapámnak a bátyja volt, akinek a fogyatékossága miatt nem kellett munkaszolgálatra mennie. A korábbi lakástüzünk után is volt még valamennyi megtakarított pénze anyámnak, abból éltünk nagyon spórolósan.

Két dologra emlékszem még erősen 1944 tavaszáról. Az egyik elképesztő volt, mert szegény anyámat vágta nagyon a földhöz. Volt neki egy nagyon jó barátnője, a Ledő Mari. Körülbelül egyidős lehetett anyámmal. Ez a hölgy a Budapesti Harisnyagyárban [1924-es alapításától 1949-ben bekövetkezett államosításáig Guttmann és Fekete Budapest Harisnya- és Kötöttárugyár (GFB) volt. – A szerk.] dolgozott, ahol is, amikor bejött a sárga csillag, a gyár elkezdte gyártani százezerszámra a sárga csillagokat.  Egy szép napon megjelent nálunk anyu barátnője, és – mintha egy csokor virágot hozott volna – hozott egy doboz sárga csillagot anyámnak, s azt mondta: „Mancikám! Nézd meg, hogy milyen szép színük van, és milyen jó formára sikerültek. Hoztam nektek, hogy legalább erre ne kelljen pénzt kiadni.” És az anyám ott állt egyszerűen kővé dermedve. Nem tudott megszólalni, csak elkezdtek folyni a könnyei, és ez a szegény barátnője, aki valószínűsíthetően egy elég buta nő lehetett, mert merő jóindulatból tette, nem gonoszságból, azt mondta, hogy „Jaj Mancikám! Ne haragudj, nem akartalak megbántani, de gondoltam, hogy milyen praktikus, és nem kell kiadnotok rá egy fillért se”. Anyu annyira jóindulatú volt, és olyan volt köztük a barátság, hogy ez nem vetett véget neki. 1945 után, amikor kiderült, hogy a nagy szerelme, Szalai Imre, az a zsidó ügyvéd, aki az apuék társaságához tartozott, elpusztult munkaszolgálatosként Ukrajnában, férjhez ment, és szinte anyám élete végéig tartották a baráti kapcsolatot. Hát ilyen furcsa az élet.

A másik nem feledhető történet. Az iskolát egy rövid ideig megpróbálták folytatni, mert arra emlékszem, hogy már bejött bőven a sárga csillag hordási rendelet [1944. március 31-én jelent meg a rendelet. – A szerk.], és én még egy nagyon kis ideig – valószínűleg csak hetekig – mentem villamossal az iskolába úgy, hogy rajtam volt a sárga csillag. Egyszer, amikor mentem az iskolába a villamossal, a kabátomon persze sárga csillaggal, felszálltam az elülső peronon. Amikor beljebb mentem a kocsiba, rám szóltak, hogy szálljak le szépen, és szálljak fel újból, de most már a hátsó peronra, mert sárga csillaggal csak ott szabad felszállni. Hát így is kellett tennem. Ez egy tizenhárom éves kamaszlánynak fájdalmas, oktalan megszégyenítés volt.

Talán még két-három hétig próbálták azt a látszatot tartani, hogy van iskola, és van normális élet, de aztán nem lehetett. Nyilván a szülők sem akarták ilyen körülmények között a gyerekeket elengedni. Nekünk tulajdonképpen kiosztották a bizonyítványt valamikor 1944 áprilisában.

Azután elkezdődtek a légiriadók [lásd: Budapest bombázása]. Rettentő sokat mentünk a légópincébe. Volt mindenkinek egy kis bőröndje, és abban volt összekészítve egy váltás fehérnemű, keksz, valami gyógyszer, zseblámpa, ilyesmi, amivel lebotorkáltunk.

Volt egy beszolgáltatási kötelezettség. Be kellett szolgáltatni biciklit, órát, rádiót, minden ilyesmit [Zsidók tulajdonában 1944 áprilisától nem lehettek rádiókészülékek. Ezt megelőzte a telefonok kötelező beszolgáltatása. – A szerk.]. De mi egy elég primitív, néprádiószerű valamit nagy titokban megtartottunk [Az 1939/40-ben elindult ún. néprádió-akció során fejlesztett ki négy nagy európai elektronikai cég, a Telefunken, a Standard, a Philips és a magyar Orion Villamossági Rt. egy olcsó rádiókészülék-típust, a néprádiót. – A szerk.]. Esténként elővettük a rekamiéfiókból, ahol tartottuk pléddel letakarva, és rátapasztottuk a fülünket, a BBC-nek az adását időnként valamennyire lehetett fogni [A BBC 1939-ben indított magyar nyelvű adást. – A szerk.], hallgattuk a híreket, de azt nagyon nehéz volt összevetni azzal, amit itthon lehetett hallani, meg amit itthon írtak az újságok. Amikor hozták a magyar újságok, hogy valahol az orosz fronton a dicsőséges német hadsereg a rugalmas elszakadás győztes csatáját vívta meg, akkor tudtuk, hogy ripityára lettek verve. Képzelheti az örömünket! Ez volt a „rugalmas elszakadás”. Így hozták az újságok.

Néhány házzal odébb laktak a nagyanyámék, és nagy szerencsénk volt, mert az ő házukat jelölték ki csillagos háznak 1944 nyarán. És annak, aki nem volt zsidó, fölajánlották, hogy bárhová mehet, sőt még kaptak segítséget is, és elmehettek olyan lakásba, amit a zsidóknak el kellett hagyniuk. De érdekes módon, abban a házban nagyon sokan maradtak nem zsidók.   Anyám meg én odaköltöztünk az egyik szobába, és aki létezett a családból, az odajött, hogy ne idegenekhez menjenek. Így abban a lakásban lakott a nagymamám, mind a három lánya  (a férjek nem, mert azok elmentek munkaszolgálatra), azoknak az összes gyereke, plusz a nagybátyám, az Aladár felesége, az anyósa és a kicsi gyerekük, akit a saját szülőapja sosem látott, mert akkor született, amikor ő már rég munkaszolgálatos volt. Meg mi ketten anyuval. Tizenketten laktunk a háromszobás lakásban, mert összesen egy idegen hölgyet tettek még be hozzánk.

Anyám és a húga, a Piroska megmaradtak, bár 1944-ben, a csillagos házban kaptak egy behívót, kellett menni az óbudai téglagyárba, és el is mentek. Vettek kabátot, bakancsot, valami élelmet. Anyu elég élhetetlen volt. Ő nagyon félt mindenféle akciótól, de a húga nagyon életrevaló teremtés volt. Utóbb elmondták, a téglagyárban olyan zűrzavar volt, olyan eszméletlen mennyiségű nőt meg öreget hívtak be, hogy nem tudták őket bevagonírozni, mert olyan kapkodás volt. Az anyám húga azt mondta: „Te, innét mi lelépünk.” Anyám nem mert, de a húga csak erősködött, és hazaszöktek. Hazajöttek a csillagos házba. Mi aztán rettenetesen izgultunk, hogy melyik szomszéd mikor jelenti fel őket. De nem jelentették fel. Ők így kimaradtak abból a vagonírozásból, ami egyébként ment Auschwitzba. Úgyhogy így az anyuék megmaradtak.

Mi nem tudtunk semmit Auschwitzról, csak hallottunk, nem akartuk elhinni persze. A vidéki zsidókat, azt szemtanúktól tudtuk, hogy bevagonírozták. Úgy jött ez a hír, hogy „Képzeljétek el, mintha állatok lettek volna, úgy rakták be őket a marhavagonokba!”. De nem tudtuk ezt elképzelni, mert azt mondtuk, hogy hogyan, hol, akkor hogy tudtak mosakodni, hol volt a vécé. Ilyeneket kérdezgettünk egymástól, meg hogy „Á, ez nem létezik, valami túlzásnak kell ebben lenni. Ez nem lehet igaz. És hova viszik őket? Hát hogyha dolgozni viszik, akkor mire odaérnek, már nem is fognak tudni dolgozni”.

Mi úgy éltünk itt 1944-ben, hogy csak azt tudtuk, nekünk annyit kell tenni, hogy próbáljuk meg túlélni, amíg a németeket a szövetségesek leverik. És ha a németek le lesznek verve, utána minden rendben lesz, akkor megint élhetünk normálisan, minden helyrejön, a fiúk hazajönnek. És azt kell mondanom, hogy akik itt maradtak, azoknak talán ez az általános mentalitás volt a szerencséje, hogy a helyzetünk elképesztően reménytelen voltát és tragédiáját nem is fogtuk fel. Auschwitzra meg az egész szörnyűségre mi akkor jöttünk rá, amikor 1945-ben elkezdtek onnét visszajönni, meg ez a dolog elkezdett kitudódni. Nálunk ezt a témát olyan mértékben próbálta meg a rendszer besöpörni a szőnyeg alá, hogy valójában alig-alig lehetett erről hallani meg beszélni.

Egy nagyon éles fordulat volt [1944] október 15-e az életünkben [lásd: nyilas hatalomátvétel]. Ez a Horthy-proklamációval kezdődött. Jellemző, hogy az utcán ujjongtak az emberek. Volt, aki leszedte a sárga csillagot, és ölelgették egymást. Holott a proklamáció meg a Szálasi-hatalomátvétel között néhány óra telt csak el. De amikor megtörtént a hatalomátvétel, akkor azt mondtuk, hogy ezt nem fogjuk túlélni. Hallottuk, hogy miket mond a Szálasi a rádióban. Nemcsak a szöveget, hanem a hangsúlyt! Megjelentek a plakátok. Ez a teljes nyíltság. Fura módon az egész Horthy-rendszer alatt, annak ellenére, hogy akkor is voltak plakátok, amik előírták a zsidóknak, hol lakhatnak, mit csinálhatnak, azért annak valamelyest civilizáltabb volt a hangneme.

És akkor talán két hét múlva jöttek nagy stráfkocsikkal, és vittek bennünket a gettóba [1944. november vége felé kezdődött meg a zsidók átköltöztetése a gettóba. Lásd: budapesti gettó. – A szerk.]. Már a betelepítésünk se volt akármilyen, mert a Klauzál téren állt meg minden ilyen lovas kocsi, volt német teherautó is, de gondolom, a nyilasok is spóroltak a benzinnel, tehát inkább lovas kocsival hozták be a zsidókat, mintsem teherautón. A Klauzál térnek, nem tudom, hogy mind a négy sarkán-e, de kettőn biztos, mert arra emlékszem, föl volt állítva egy óriási, fából készült láda. Leszállították a zsidókat, és közölték, hogyha valakinek van bármilyen ékszere, órája, bármilyen értéke, dobja be. Ami még valakinél maradt, mondjuk, jegygyűrű vagy ilyen, dobálta is szépen be.

Én nagyon sokat adtam a tisztaságra, és bár anyám mondta, hogy ezt nem volna szabad csinálnom, ebből baj lesz, de én egy pipereszappant bedugtam a tréningnadrágom aljába. És motoztak. Tizennégy-tizenhat év körüli nyilas srácok motoztak, meg is találták nálam ezt a szappant, kivették, valami szörnyűt mondtak, valami zsidó rüfkét, és kaptam egy pofont érte. És elvették a szappant. Húsz-harminc év múlva, amikor nagyon jó körülmények között, jól öltözve, a saját gépkocsimat vezettem, ahányszor ott elmentem, mindig odanéztem arra a sarokra, ahol ez történt.

Az úgynevezett védett házak kivételével az összes pesti zsidót bezsúfolták a gettóba. Az azért elég sok volt erre a kis helyre. Borzalmas körülmények voltak ott, emberileg is. Nem azt mondom, hogy olyan szorosan voltunk, mint a marhavagonokban, de rettenetes sokan voltunk bezsúfolva. És az egyik legszörnyűbb dolog az volt, hogy amikor hozták stráfkocsikkal a zsidókat, volt olyan stráfkocsi, amiben csak gyerekeket hoztak felnőtt nélkül – az tényleg infernális látvány volt. Arra ma is úgy emlékszem vissza, hogy egész egyszerűen holttá váltunk a sok zsidó gyerek láttán, akivel nem voltak se szülők, se felnőttek [lásd: vöröskeresztes gyerekek a gettóban].

A gettóban be lettünk zsúfolva a Kisdiófa utca 3-ba, az első emeletre. Itt akkor is zsidók éltek, de hogy hova tették onnét az előző lakókat, a mai napig se tudom. Amikor mi oda beérkeztünk, az már egy üres lakás volt a maradék bútorok romjaival meg ruhák maradékával. Valamennyien együtt voltunk, tehát a nagyanyám, anyám, a két húga, az összes gyerek meg én.

Amíg építették a gettó körül a palánkot, ami körbevette, addig a gettóból kimenni nem lehetett a zsidóknak, de a gettóba minden nap néhány órát be lehetett menni. Ahol mi laktunk, a csillagos házban volt egy nagyon helyes keresztény asszony, akinek volt egy tizenöt éves fia, aki, hogy úgy mondjam, nagy vonzalommal viseltetett irántam. És ez a srác a mi elhagyott lakásunkból, annak a spájzából, amit ott a nagymama begyűjtött ennivalót, ami elfért a két kezében, zacskókban, cipelte napokon keresztül nekünk, amíg be lehetett jönni a gettóba. Hozott be lencsét, feles sárgaborsót, hagymát, krumplit, mindent, amit ott mi 1944 nyarán begyűjtöttünk a nagymama levezénylése mellett, aki nagyon szigorú volt, mert nagyon beosztással kellett élni. Ez nagyon komoly segítség volt, mert gyakorlatilag azt jelentette, hogy mi ugyan borzalmasan éheztünk, de azért nem haltunk éhen, szemben nagyon sok időssel, aki éhen halt.

Nagyon sokáig nem tudtunk ebben a lakásban lenni, mert amikor elkezdődött Budapest ostroma és a hozzátartozó bombázás, akkor az egyik bombázás során a mellettünk lévő ház, a Kisdiófa utca 5. kapott egy telitalálatot [A szovjet csapatok 1944. december 26-ára kerítették be a fővárost, Pest ostroma 1945. január 18-án, Budáé február 13-án ért véget. – A szerk.]. Ennek következtében a Kisdiófa utca 3. egyik lépcsőháza leszakadt. Akkor aztán ott mindenki úgy megrémült, hogy az egész ház leköltözött a pincébe. Egyébként az egész gettó a pincében élt. Mert nem is lehetett másképp. A pincében lent voltunk, vittük magunkkal, amit tudtunk az emeletről; és bár a másik lépcsőház ép maradt, de senki nem mert már felmenni az emeleti lakásokba, az állandósult bombázások, ágyúzás, belövések miatt.

Szegény anyám nagy bánatára volt a gettóban egy helyes kis barátnőm, egy Silzer Zsuzsi nevű lány, vele elmentünk és jelentkeztünk a Síp utca 12-ben, a hitközségnél futárnak. Kaptunk egy kis kézikocsiszerűt, és a kézikocsival minden nap elmentünk délben a hitközségre, ahol főztek levest. A levest kiosztották a futároknak, akik elvitték abba a házba, ahol laktak, vagy amit elvállaltak. Ezért fizetség nem járt, de mi egy kicsit több levest kaptunk. A gettón belül is a zsidóknak meg volt szabva, hogy mettől meddig lehetnek kint az utcán, délben volt egy óra, mondjuk, és délután egy óra vagy reggel, már nem tudom pontosan [A gettók zömét csak a nap bizonyos órájában lehetett elhagyni, a gettók területén azonban általában a nappali időszakban szabadon járhattak a zsidók. – A szerk.]. Amikor mi járkáltunk ki Silzer Zsuzsival, voltak szörnyű kalandjaink, aminek kapcsán aztán otthon is maradtunk. Mert amikor mentünk a meghatározott időben, a gettó belül tele volt nyilasokkal, és nem lehetett a szemükbe nézni. Ha valaki nagyon nyugodtan szembenézett velük, azt biztos, hogy valamiért megállították, és nagyon jól járt, ha csak egy pofont kapott vagy valami kisebb verést. Úgyhogy ez nem volt egy veszélytelen dolog. Szegény anyám annyit jajgatott, hogy „de mért kell ezt neked csinálni!? Mért teszel engem tönkre!? Zsuzsika, ezt ne csináld! Ne menj!” – habár a nagyanyám pártolta, mert ő meg azt mondta, hogy ez nagyon helyes, mert ezzel segít rajtunk meg magán. De a végén fölhagytunk ezzel.

Nem volt víz, nem volt villany, nem volt gáz. Rettentő kemény tél volt. Egyike volt a legkeményebb teleknek, amikre emlékszem az életemben – nagy szerencsénkre, mert ezért nem volt Pesten járvány. Mert Pesten hetekig hevertek ezrével temetetlenül a lovak meg az emberek, és semmi járvány nem volt, mert pokoli hideg volt. Nos, ebben a pokoli hidegben a gettó területén valamilyen csoda folytán volt egy-két nyilvános vízcsap, ami valószínűleg korábban a tűzoltáshoz szolgálhatott, és ide jártunk vizet venni. A gettóbeli háznak a pincéjében találtam rengeteg befőttesüveget. Vittem magammal befőttesüvegeket, és megtöltöttem vízzel, ami aztán már két óra múlva megfagyott. Nekem ez volt a tartalékom. Mert amíg a többiek azzal foglalatoskodtak, hogy hogyan tegyék ihatóvá, engem csak az érdekelt, hogy hogyan tegyem mosakodhatóvá.

Egy szép napon a gettóban egyszerre csak előkerült a Gréti nagynénémnek a férje, Bárdos Ernő, aki zsidó létére több magas kitüntetést viselő Horthy-hadseregbeli tiszt volt, azt hiszem, hogy alezredes volt vagy százados. Természetesen, ahogy a németek bejöttek, vagy már talán előbb, a hadseregből távoznia kellett. De sokáig valamiféle védettsége volt, így nem is került munkaszolgálatra [A zsidó származású hivatásos katonákkal kapcsolatos rendelkezéseket lásd: munkaszolgálat (musz).]. Kiderült, hogy ő is a gettóban van, méghozzá nálunk jobb körülmények között lakik a Kazinczy utca 11-ben, és elvisz minket. Mert ahol mi voltunk, az tipikus gettóház volt, a nyomorok nyomora, és az éhezés éhezése. Amikor jött a nagybátyám, és azt mondta, hogy „gyertek el, mert nálam van annyi ennivaló, hogy hárman is tudunk belőle enni, és nem a pincében vagyunk, hanem egy földszinti lakásban”, nagyon örültünk. Így egy kicsivel több ennivaló jutott a nagyanyáméknak, hogy mi, ketten anyuval már nem ettünk ott. Ha naponta egyszer ehettünk valamit, akkor az nagyon jó dolog volt.

Így hát átmentünk a Kazinczy utca 11-be, a földszinti lakásba, ami a viceházmesternek lehetett a lakása korábban, egy szoba-konyha. A nagybátyámon kívül volt ott még egy férfi meg egy nő, de kit zavart az? Matracon aludtunk. De a házban volt folyóvíz, ihattunk, mosakodhattam rendszeresen, ami elég fontos volt, mert mi nem is tetvesedtünk meg az ostrom alatt. Nagy könnyebbség volt, hogy vízért nem kellett elmenni. Mert azért ahányszor bárki elment utcai vizet venni, nem volt biztos, hogy vissza tud menni a pincébe, ahonnan jött, mert lehet, hogy útközben egy nyilas fejbe verte vagy lelőtte vagy bármi. A Kisdiófa utcában már a gyertyánk is elfogyott. Összegyűjtöttük a leolvadt viaszt, és abba a nagymama sodort valami kis rongydarabból belet, és avval világítottunk a pincében. Itt azonban volt gyertya is, volt feles sárgaborsó, minden nap lehetett kétszer enni belőle. Szóval nagyon nagy dolog volt. Ott is ért bennünket a felszabadulás. A mi családunk, akiket a gettóba vittek, életben maradt, csak apai nagymamám, az Anna nagymama halt meg a gettóban, valószínűleg a Wesselényi utcai kórházban [lásd: gettókórház], állítólag 1945 januárjában, de nincsen megbízható adatunk erről, és azt sem tudtuk meg bizonyosan, hogy hogyan került oda. Állítólag még 1944 nyarán megbetegedett, kórházba vitték, és onnét mint zsidót a gettósítás után átvitték a gettó kórházába.

1945. január 18-án bejöttek az orosz katonák a gettóba. Látták, hogy a zsidók legtöbbje a pincében volt. A szovjet katonák kézzel-lábbal elmagyarázták, hogy menjenek föl, mehetnek haza. Mi visszamentünk a Kisdiófa utca 3-ba, megnézni, hogy mi van a nagyanyámékkal. Hál’ isten, mindenki megvolt. És akkor elindultunk, de mi anyuval nem mertünk hazamenni a Tüzér utcába, hanem azt gondoltuk, hogy maradjunk együtt. Nagyanyámék lakásába mentünk, a Bulcsú utcába. Ez január 18. volt. Akkor Budán még bőven folytak a harcok, állandó belövés, ágyúzás, géppisztolyozás, tehát golyót kapni bárhol lehetett. Ahogy mentünk hazafelé, egyszerre csak egy géppisztolysorozat-szerűt hallottunk, nagyon megijedtünk, és beugrottunk a Dob utcában egy üzletbe. Az üzletnek föl volt tépve a redőnye, épp befértünk alá. Az egy olyan üzlethelyiség volt a gettón belül, ahova a meghalt vagy megölt embereket úgy fektették be, mint ahogyan a pincében a tűzifát szokták, hogy levegőzzön, az egyik sorra keresztben a másik sort. Így voltak fölhalmozva ott a hullák, persze csonttá fagyva, mert kint mínusz tíz-húsz fok volt heteken keresztül. Ebbe az üzletbe ugrottunk be. Úgyhogy akkor hiába lőttek, kirohantunk onnan, és kanyarogva mentünk a lövések miatt.

Eljutottunk a Nyugati térig, ami nagyon nyitott volt Buda felé. Volt ott egy nagy étterem, nem jut eszembe most a neve. Nagy fegyverropogás volt meg ágyúzás, és beugrottunk abba a kapualjszerűségbe. Ott találtunk egy csomó orosz kiskatonát hulla részegen. Ugyanis ezek lementek az étterem pincéjébe, és felhozták hordóban a bort meg a sört. Volt köztük két egész fiatal kis tatár, és a legnagyobb jóindulattal elkezdtek minket itatni. Mondták, hogy de finom, magyarázták, hogy igyunk csak. Meg is ittunk vagy egy pohárra való bort, még jól is esett ebben a rettenetes hidegben. Azután békésen továbbengedtek minket, és mi egyenesen visszamentünk a csillagos házba. A ház előtt nagy szabad tér volt, ahol két ágyú volt, amivel lőttek át Budára, amíg tartott az ostrom.

Nem tudtunk a szobákban lakni, mert az ablaküveg mind ki volt törve. A nagymamáméknál a gangról nyílt az előszoba, onnét a konyha, és amellett volt egy, a konyhával azonos nagyságú, eredetileg cselédszoba. Oda matracokat terítettünk le, és ott rendezkedtünk be. Az utcai ablakokat a nagymama perceken belül az otthon talált újságpapírral, lepedővel beszögelte. A konyhában a gáztűzhely mellett volt egy régi sparhelt, amiben ezzel-azzal lehetett tüzelni. Amikor már elfogyott minden ringy-rongy, amit el lehetett tüzelni, akkor a nagymama gyönyörű cseresznyefa ágyát fűrészeltük fel, és az lett elfűtve.

Mit ettünk? Hát nagyon jót ettünk, lóhúst. Január végén egyre katasztrofálisabb méreteket öltött az éhezés. És akkor a nagymama magához vett a valamikori spájzából két szép zománcozott vödröt, és azt mondta: „Most elmegyünk ennivalóért.” És elment velem. Azt mondta nekem útközben: „Idefigyelj! A szádat ki nem nyithatod, hogy mi az, amit mi viszünk haza!” A nagymama megvizsgálta az elhullott lovakat, hogy melyik volt beteg, melyik pusztult el lövéstől, mert az egészséges volt. Lefűrészeltünk a megfagyott lócombokból, és vittük haza. Otthon azt kellett mondani, hogy találtunk két parasztot, aki árulta ezt a húst, és attól vettük. Szerintem anyámék tudhatták, hogy mit vittünk haza, csak úgy tettek, mintha nem tudnák. Február végéig gyakorlatilag ebből éltünk, ezt ettük. Aztán egyre jobban kellett igyekeznünk, mert már mások is a lóhúst fűrészelték meg vitték haza.

Nagymama különben is nagyon stramm volt, mert amikor visszamentünk, láttuk, hogy nagyon sok mindent elvittek tőlünk a lakásból. Hiányzott neki ilyen terítő, olyan dunyha, mindenféle a lakásból. A háznak az ott maradt lakói az ostrom miatt leköltöztek a pincébe. Nagymama lement a pincébe, és azt mondta, hogy most jelentkezzen az, aki tőlünk vitt el ezt, ezt meg ezt! Mert én ezeket kérem vissza. És visszakapta. Az egyik hozott két kispárnát, a másik két dunyhát, a harmadik hat tányért, öt lábost.

Azt kell mondanom, hogy nekünk valószínűleg nagyon nagy szerencsénk volt, hogy olyan sok kisgyerek volt velünk. Mert ugye ott volt anyám húgának, Lenkének a két bűbájos ikerkislánya, a fia, és ott volt még negyedik pici gyereknek a szegény nagybátyámnak a kisfia, a Tomi. Ezek az orosz katonák imádták a gyerekeket, és a mocskos, zsíros sapkájukban hordták hozzánk a kaját, barna cukrot, a fekete, tepsi alakú orosz kenyeret, és a gyerekekkel szakadatlanul beszélgettek, és ölbe vették őket. Úgyhogy ez nekünk nagy szerencsénk volt. Ezzel együtt anyám az én fejemet bekötötte, és eldugott, amennyire tudott [Tudniillik, hogy ne erőszakolják meg a szovjet katonák, akik nagyon sok fiatal nőt erőszakoltak meg Magyarországon. – A szerk.].

Szörnyű rémhírek keringtek, hogy mi van a munkaszolgálatosokkal, hogy mi van Ukrajnában. Sajnos utóbb kiderült, hogy azok a rémhírek, amiket mi hallottunk, elbújhattak az igazság mellett. Apámról meg anyám férfitestvéreiről semmit sem hallottunk. A legelső, akiről hírt hallottunk, az apám volt. Apám Borban volt. Borban a munkaszolgálatosok a rézbányában dolgoztak borzalmas körülmények között, és nagyon örültek, amikor egyszer csak elindítottak haza egy menetet. És mindenki, aki abba nem fért bele, teljesen ki volt borulva, hogy azok már indulnak haza, és ővelük ott mi lesz. Ez az úgynevezett első lépcső volt, amit végighajtottak egészen az osztrák határig [Randolph L. Braham írja, hogy a németek 1944. szeptember közepén döntöttek Bor és környéke kiürítéséről. Az evakuált zsidók első csoportja (kb. 3600 fő), kb. 100 főnyi magyar őrszemélyzet kíséretében szeptember 17-én indult el Borból. Embertelen körülmények között hajtották őket Belgrád, Újvidék és Zombor érintésével Mohácsra. Onnan Szentkirályszabadjára (Veszprém vm.) vitték őket, s valamennyiüket Németországba, a flossenburgi, sachsenhauseni és oranienburgi koncentrációs táborokba deportálták. (A magyar Holocaust, Budapest, Gondolat/Wilmington, Blackburn International Inc., é. n. /1988/). – A szerk.]. Ez volt az, ahol Abdánál Radnótit is lelőtték. Abból az úgynevezett első lépcsőből borzasztó kevesen maradtak meg. Mígnem a második lépcső szinte teljes épségben hazajött, kivéve, akit útközben lelőttek, vagy megfagyott, vagy éhen halt. [Braham információi alapján úgy tűnik, hogy a „második lépcsőben” útnak indított bori munkaszolgálatosok sorsa sem volt jobb, mint az előzőé: az evakuált zsidók második csoportja, kb. 2500 ember szeptember 19-én hagyta el gyalogmenetben Bort. Több száz embert legyilkoltak útközben, a többiek október 6-án érkeztek Cservenkára, ahol 7-én és 8-án 700–1000 embert, miután előbb megásattak velük egy hatalmas gödröt, és lerakatták velük minden értéküket, még a karikagyűrűjüket is, lemészároltak, az életben maradottakat pedig továbbhajtották Zombor felé. Innen – további gyilkosságok mellett – Bajára, majd onnan Szentkirályszabadjára vitték őket, ahonnan zömmel Buchenwaldba és Flossenburgba deportálták a még életben maradottakat. (A magyar Holocaust, Budapest, Gondolat/Wilmington, Blackburn International Inc., é. n. /1988/. – A szerk.)] Amikor Borból indították haza ezt a második lépcsőt, menet közben partizánok támadták meg őket, és egy páran ezek közé keveredtek. Apám rögtön be is állt hozzájuk. Temesvárra került, és Temesvárról jött haza 1945. február végén, hol gyalog, hol talált egy vonatot, ami ment húsz kilométert, hol fölkéredzkedett egy teherautóra, és így ért haza. Emlékszem: egyszer csak csöngetnek, a nagymama kinyitotta az ajtót, és apám ott állt egy óriási hátizsákkal, amiben rengeteg ennivalót hozott nekünk.

Ekkor, apámtól megtudtuk ezt az egész bori dolgot, hogy volt ez Borban. Szerintem a mienk egy nagyon szerencsés család volt, mert hárman haltak meg közülünk, a többiek túlélték. Anyám ikertestvére, Aladár Ukrajnában halt meg munkaszolgálatosként az úgynevezett „kukorékolós században”. Volt akkor egy-két hírhedt munkaszázad Ukrajnában. Ugye a keretlegények se voltak egyformán gonoszak, voltak emberibbek meg kevésbé azok. Ez egy olyan század volt, ahol a keret azt csinálta – ugye 1941–42 tele szörnyű hideg tél volt –, hogy ebben a szörnyű hidegben fölmászatta a munkaszolgálatosokat, akiket büntetni akart, a fára, és addig kellett nekik kukorékolni, amíg le nem estek. Mert ha abbahagyták, lelőtték őket [Nemcsak kukorékolniuk kellett, hanem kiabálniuk is, azt, hogy „Koszos zsidó vagyok!”. Forrás: „Fegyvertelenül álltak az aknamezőkön…” Dokumentumok a munkaszolgálat történetéhez Magyarországon. Összeállította és szerkesztette: Karsai Elek, Budapest, MIOK, 1962.]. Ebben a században szolgált a nagybátyám. Hogy ott volt, és meghalt, azt onnan tudtuk, hogy valamikor 1945. március tájt jött egy vele együtt szolgáló, aki hazakeveredett, és ezt elmondta. Hogy ez a kukorékolás nemcsak legenda volt, emlékszem, hogy 1945-46 körül voltak ilyen jellegű perek. És ennek a „kukorékolós századnak” a parancsnokát meg néhány őrmestert meg a keretlegényeit elítélték.

Még ketten haltak meg Auschwitzban: az édesapám nővére, a Gréti és a lánya, a Lilike. Állítólag egy rokonuk följelentette őket itt, Pesten, és elvitték őket. Amikor Auschwitzba kerültek, Gréti fiatal, jó erőben lévő lányát Mengele úr jobbra intette volna, és őt balra, de a lánya azt mondta, hogy nem hagyom ott az anyut. És addig kiabált, amíg vele mehetett – egyenesen a gázkamráig.

Előkerült anyám öccse, Laci és anyám húgának a férje, Breitner Sándor. Ők szörnyű munkaszolgálatos században voltak, de már nem emlékszem rá, hogy hol. Az egyiknek volt valami kisebb sebesülése.

Róza néni [az anyai nagyapa testvére] megérte  a pénzét. Anyám húgának meglehetősen sok, szép ékszere volt. Gyűrűk, karkötők, láncok. 1944-ben, amikor bejöttek a németek, Róza néni  Dömsödről – mert ő végig ott volt – bejött Pestre, és fölajánlotta, hogy ami kell, adjátok ide, eldugom. A Lenke nagynéném odaadta neki az ékszereit. És 1945-ben Róza néni jelentkezett nálunk, és azt mondta, hogy „Jaj, drága gyerekem, amit nem vittek el a németek, azt elvitték az oroszok!”. De aztán pechje volt, mert anyám legkisebb testvére, a Laci egy barátjával kiment a Róza nénihez, és azt mondták neki: „Róza néni, vagy előadja az ékszereket, vagy addig verjük magát, amíg nem kerülnek elő az ékszerek!” Erre azt mondta, hogy „rokonokkal ezt csináljátok?”. De az ékszerek előkerültek, és visszaadta.

1945 után az első Joint konyhákat apu létesítette. Temesvárott a háború után nagyon hamar az amerikai Joint létesített egy irodát. Apám odament, és miután kitűnően tudott németül, megértette magát. És hozott magával [Budapestre] egy papírt azzal a feladattal, hogy létesítsen itt Joint konyhákat. Létesített is. A valamikori Claridge kávéházban volt az egyik. Ez az Oktogonon volt [A Claridge, amely egy zenés kávéház volt, a Nagymező utca 11. számú ház földszintjén működött 1938-tól. A ház az 1970-es évek óta a Radnóti Színháznak ad otthont. – A szerk.]. Úgy emlékszem, ez volt az első Joint konyha, ami itt megnyílt Pesten. 1945-ben tavasszal, nyáron, ősszel itt még nagy éhezések voltak. Akkor az emberek ezrével jártak batyuzni vonattal vidékre, és onnan szereztek élelmiszert [lásd: feketézés, cserekereskedelem].

Mivel az apu ezzel a Joint megbízatással jött haza, neki nagyon jó fizetése volt. Úgyhogy mi anyagilag attól kezdve, hogy apám hazajött, rendben voltunk. Gazdagok nem voltunk, de alapvető problémánk nem volt. És ami nagyon fontos volt, hogy a fizetése jelentős részét természetben kapta. Tehát, amikor még 1945-ben nagy volt az éhezés, 1946-ban pedig jött az iszonyatos infláció [lásd: a forint bevezetése], akkor apám részben természetben kapott fizetésében sok alapvető, sőt luxusnak is számító élelmiszer volt, például liszt, zsír, cukor, rizs, szardínia, fűszerfélék, kakaó, tejpor, Hershey csokoládé.

Aztán még több Joint konyha lett Pesten. Külföldről szállították az élelmiszert ezeknek a konyháknak az ellátására, illetve amit apu itthon be tudott szerezni, azt beszerezte. Apámnak ezekbe a konyhákba különböző szakemberek kellettek. Többek között például főszakács. A fő konyhájának a főszakácsa az anyám húga lett, aki máshoz nem, de ehhez kiválóan értett. Soha életében ezt nem tanulta szerintem, csak az élet kitanította őt rá, és volt hozzá érzéke. Remekül megszervezte a konyhát és a hozzátartozó éttermet, kitűnően főztek ezeken a konyhákon. Oda olyanok jártak enni, mint például a művészvilág színe-java. Dayka Margittól,  Dobay Lívia operaénekesnőn keresztül, Szép Ernő költő-íróig, mert nem volt mit enni [Dayka Margit (1907–1986 )– színésznő; Dobay Lívia (1912–2002) – szoprán énekesnő; Szép Ernő (18841953)költő, író. – A szerk.] Hogy milyen elv szerint működött ez, hogy oda ki mehetett enni, ki nem, azt nem tudom, de elsősorban az ostromot átélt zsidók kaptak meleg ebédet, meleg vacsorát, és azt hiszem, reggelit is.

Három konyha biztos volt. Volt a fő konyha az Oktogonon, volt még egy valahol a Jókai tér környékén [a Zichy utcában], és volt egy Budán. Ezeket a semmiből szervezte meg az apu. A helyiségtől kezdve a konyhai eszközökön át a személyzetig, a szakácsokig, a könyvelőkig, a munkásokig, akik a nyersanyagokat szállították. Úgyhogy ez egy nagyon komoly szervezőmunka volt. Az apu nagyon ügyes volt ilyesmiben, és több évig csinálta, amíg ez ment. Azután a Joint konyháit valamikor az 1950-es években bezárták. De a Joint mint szervezet sokáig megmaradt, még osztott különböző alapon segélyeket, meg patronált idős zsidókat [A Jointot 1953-ban a kormány irodája bezárására és tevékenysége felfüggesztésére kényszerítette. 1980-ig a Joint a svájci zsidó hitközségen keresztül segített a magyarországi zsidóknak, majd 1980-ban térhetett vissza hivatalosan Magyarországra. – A szerk.].

1945 tavaszán kiderült, hogy amikor anyuval 1944-ben átmentünk a csillagos házba, a Tüzér utcai lakásunkba beköltöztettek egy erdélyi családot. Nem is akartunk igazából visszamenni, mert nem volt az egy igazán jó lakás, és megtudtuk, hogy az erdélyi család valójában egy menekült zsidó család volt. Tehát nem akartuk, hogy utcára kerüljenek. Elköltöztünk a Sziget utca (ma: Radnóti Miklós utca) 9-be. Apám-anyám szívesen jött vissza az Újlipótvárosba.

Volt egy Borsodi nevű fényképész, aki anyáméknak régi-régi ismerőse volt. A fényképész zsidó volt, a felesége keresztény. A feleségének volt valami kisebb birtoka vidéken, és oda leköltöztek már az ostrom alatt, tehát itt hagyták ezt a lakásukat, és mi megvettük. Én az első házasságkötésemig, ami 1950-ben volt, ott is laktam.

Nekünk a háború alatt gyakorlatilag majdnem mindenünk elpusztult. Leégett a Tüzér utcai lakás, de amit újonnan vettünk, az ottmaradt. A nagyanyámékhoz már csak úgy költöztünk a csillagos házba, hogy volt anyámnak egy bőröndje meg nekem egy bőröndöm. Szóval alig valamink maradt meg. Tehát gyakorlatilag újból be kellett rendezkednünk. Anyu bútort meg ágyneműt meg étkészletet élelmiszerért vett. Egy hatszemélyes étkészlet öt kiló zsír, hat kiló liszt és így tovább. Ez nem volt illegális, mindenki ezt csinálta. Bizonyos drágább dolgokat aranyért lehetett venni, x gramm aranyért vagy Napóleon-aranyért [Napoléon d'or – I. és III. Napóleon korában vert 20 frankos aranyérme. – A szerk.]. Először élelmiszert kellett szerezni, azért lehetett aranyat venni, és azért lehetett mást venni. Egészen, amíg be nem jött a forint, 1946 augusztusáig ment így. De volt egy kis baj: a forinttal együtt a jegyrendszer is bejött. Mert 1946-tól 1952-ig jegyrendszer volt. Ezt azért tudom véletlenül ilyen pontosan, mert az idősebbik lányom 1952-ben született, és a jegyrendszer olyan érdekes volt, hogy ő még meg se született, még magzat volt, de járt neki is jegy, és kaptam vaj-, tej-, kolbász-, hús- és egyéb  élelmiszerjegyet az ő részére is [Az ellátás nehézségei miatt a már a háború alatt bevezetett jegyrendszert – lásd: Jegyrendszer Magyarországon (1940–1951) csak 1949-ben szüntették meg, amikor teljesítettnek  nyilvánították a hároméves tervet. Az elhibázott gazdaságpolitika miatt azonban 1950 második felében már jelentős áruhiány mutatkozott, ezért részlegesen visszaállították a jegyrendszert: 1951 januárja és áprilisa között bevezették a cukor- és lisztjegyet, a zsír- és szappanjegyet, a kenyérjegyet, majd a húsjegyet. 1951 decemberében eltörölték a jegyrendszert. – A szerk.].

A háború után folytattam az iskolát. 1945 márciusában indult el újból az iskola a Wesselényi utca és a Körút sarkán álló privát házban. A Lázár Piroska gimnázium [a háború előtt] mint magángimnázium működött. 1945 után nem lehetett nem állami egy gimnázium [lásd: iskolák államosítása Magyaroszágon]. Így maradtunk 1945 után is a Pesti Izraelita Hitközség Abonyi utcai Leánygimnáziumának a tagozata. Tehát mi például évnyitóra meg évzáróra az Abonyi utcai hitközségi gimnáziumba jártunk. Az Abonyi utcai gimnáziumnak volt egy templomi része, ott tartották meg a nagyobb ünnepeket. Az egyik nyelv a latin mellett a német volt. És amikor 1945-ben összeverődtünk, megtagadtuk, hogy a németet folytassuk. Volt egy csodálatos némettanárunk, egy dr. Gordon Eta nevű tanárnő, aki egyébként az ország egyik legjobb francia műfordítója volt. És így a mi nagy szerencsénkre egy pillanat alatt átválthattunk a németről franciára.

Lehettünk körülbelül olyan harminc-harmincöten az osztályban, amikor indultunk 1941-ben. A felszabadulás után, amikor összeállt újból az osztály, és egy negyedév alatt lenyomtuk gyakorlatilag egy évfolyam anyagát, voltunk tizenhatan. A lányok egy része elpusztult, egy része nem jött vissza Magyarországra, volt, aki élt, de nem jött vissza a mi gimnáziumunkba. Az ötvenedik érettségi találkozónkon, 1999-ben elkezdtünk arról beszélni, hogy mi soha életünkben nem beszéltünk arról, hogy velünk mi történt 1944-ben. Annyit tudtunk egymásról, hogy ki hol volt. Volt köztünk egy olyan lány, aki megjárta Auschwitzot, tehát ott volt a [tetovált] szám a karján [Auschwitzban azoknak a deportáltaknak a karjára, akiket nem küldtek azonnal a gázkamrába, hanem kiválogatták munkára, számot tetováltak. Nevük helyett egy számuk lett. – A szerk.]. Valahogyan nem kérdeztük meg, hogy te hogy keveredtél haza, hogy élted túl. Soha nem kérdeztük egymást Az érettségi találkozón el is mondtuk egymásnak, hogy azért utólag rájöttünk, hogy ez valami feneketlen trauma lehetett ilyen fiatal lányoknál, hogy úgy éreztük, mint akiknek a torkát összeszorították egy kötéllel, hogy soha erről ne beszélj. Én ezt az egész dolgot hihetetlen szégyennek éreztem, hogy ez velünk megtörtént, azt kell mondanom, hogy szinte mások helyett szégyelltem magamat. Ilyen szégyenérzettel gondolok vissza ma is ezekre a dolgokra.

1949-ben érettségiztem, akkor jelentkeztem a közgazdasági egyetemre, ahova nem vettek föl, mert kispolgári származású voltam hivatalosan, de egyébként nagyon gyenge felvételi dolgozatot írtam. Ez volt 1950-ben, és az volt a felvételi téma, hogy „Kossuth vagy Széchenyi?”, tessék ezt elképzelni! Nagyon érdekes volt, hogy egy közgazdasági egyetemen ez volt a felvételi téma. Nem vettek fel, és akkor egy jó ideig ebben maradtam, és elmentem dolgozni. És hosszú-hosszú idő után elmentem a külker főiskola levelezőjére, és azt végeztem el [1957-ben jött létre a Külkereskedelmi Levelező Iskola. 1962-ben átalakult önálló Felsőfokú Külkereskedelmi Szakiskolává, ahol a nyelvi és levelező képzés keretében külkereskedelmi áruforgalmi szakismereteket oktattak, valamint külkereskedelmi üzletkötőket képeztek. 1964-től már három szakkal és négy nyelvi tanszékkel működött, 1971-ben főiskolai rangot kapott, ekkor vette fel a Külkereskedelmi Főiskola nevet. – A szerk.]. Akkor már felnőtt voltam, de jól tettem [lásd: esti és levelező oktatás].

Anyámék 1950 körül elváltak, és anyám, aki addig háztartásbeli volt, nehezen ment el dolgozni, és csak különböző alkalmi munkái voltak. Én először elmentem tisztviselőnek a Szabolcs utcai kórházba, mert az első férjemnek – akit én akkor már ismertem a húgán, az én gimnáziumi osztálytársnőmön keresztül – a nagybátyja ott volt gazdasági igazgató. Így én oda kerültem mint tisztviselő. Akkor onnét – már nem tudom, hogyan – 1950-ben átkerültem a MOKÉP-hez [A magyar filmipar és filmforgalmazás államosításakor (1948) létrehozták (a) a Magyar Filmgyártó Nemzeti Vállalatot (többször is átszervezték, 1959-ben létrehozták a Hunnia Filmstúdiót és a Budapest Filmstúdiót, majd a kettőt összeolvasztották „Magyar Filmgyártó Vállalat /MAFILM/ néven) és (b) a Mozgóképüzemi Nemzeti Vállalatot (MOKÉP; a Népművelési Minisztérium alá tartozott): A MOKÉP lett – és volt 1989-ig – az egyetlen központi filmkölcsönző és -forgalmazó vállalat, de mozija nem volt. – A szerk.], ott műsorbeosztó voltam. A műsorbeosztó osztotta be az országban lévő normál és keskeny (akkor még volt ilyen) moziknak a műsorát, általában egy  hónapra előre. Egy-egy megye volt a területünk, így én például eleinte Vas és Zala, majd Somogy megye, végül Pest megye moziinak a műsorát intéztem. Egy moziműsor a játékfilmből, az úgynevezett kísérő filmből, ami egy rövidfilm volt, és híradóból állt. Minden héten megkaptuk az a heti új (külföldi – ami főleg szovjet és szocialista volt –, valamint magyar) filmek megjelenését, hogy hány kópiában forgalmazzák. A filmeket természetesen mind láttuk, hetente kétszer-háromszor filmvetítéssel kezdődött a munkanap.

Utána elmentem dolgozni 1957-ben a Hungarofilm Vállalathoz [A Hungarofilmet 1956-ban hozták létre a magyar filmek külföldi forgalmazására, illetve külföldi filmek importjára. – A szerk.]. A második férjem  akkor az igazgatóhelyettese, majd 1962-től az igazgatója volt.

Év végén eljöttem, és átmentem az Artexhez [Az Artex Külkereskedelmi Vállalat volt felelős a külföldre irányuló állami műtárgykivitelért. – A szerk.]. Ott foglalkoztam egy jó pár évig magyar játékexporttal. Akkoriban csak állami külkereskedelmi vállalatok voltak, talán összesen huszonöt-harminc volt az országban. A Külkereskedelmi Minisztérium határozta meg az egyes vállalatok profilját, és a játékexportot  áttették a Konzumex külkervállalathoz.

Körülbelül harminc évig dolgoztam ott, kezdtem mint üzletkötő, és befejeztem mint kereskedelmi igazgató. A Konzumex kereskedelmi igazgatóságokra volt fölosztva. Hozzám tartozott a ruházat, textília. Ez olyan munka volt, amit első perctől fogva szerettem. Harminc év a Konsumexnél. Ennyi időt az ember nem is tudna szerintem eltölteni egy helyen, csak akkor, ha ott nagyon jól érzi magát. Ez egy jó vállalat volt. Nagyon szomorúan láttam, amikor hazajöttünk Rómából 1990 nyarán, hogy kezdték a privatizációval szétszedni. Egyébként ehhez a vállalathoz tartozott az összes fogyasztási cikk importja, kivéve az autóké, mert az a MOGÜRT-é volt [A MOGÜRT (Magyar Országos Gépkocsi Üzemi Részvénytársaság) 1946-ban alakult meg, 1948-ban államosították, majd egy évvel később szakosított külkereskedelmi vállalattá alakították át, és a neve MOGÜRT Gépjármű Külkereskedelmi Vállalatra változott. A cég fő profilja az autók és autóalkatrészek exportja és importja volt. A vállalatot 1992-ben privatizálták. – A szerk.]. A tőkés ruházati import tartozott hozzánk, de a tőkés ruházati exportot a Hungarotex [Külkereskedelmi Vállalat] folytatta. Mi kereskedtünk a rubel-elszámolású országokkal – ezek a KGST-országok meg Kuba, Kína és Vietnam voltak. Ezekkel mi végeztük a ruházati meg az egyéb fogyasztási cikkek exportját is. Úgyhogy nálam is rengeteg import is meg export is volt. Izgalmas, érdekes munka volt.

Egy külkereskedelmi vállalatnak a szellemi nívója, azt hiszem, jobb volt, mint akár egy belkereskedelmi, akár egy ipari vállalatnak. Mert nekünk azért nyelveket kellett tudni, kellett valami szélesebb látókör, ismeret ahhoz, hogy tárgyalni tudjon többek között nyugati szakemberekkel is. Természetesen mindenki tudta, hogy miután nagy volt az érintkezési felület külfölddel, külföldi cégekkel, külföldi személyekkel, járnak hozzánk a belügyből. Legtöbbször a személyzetishez vagy az igazgatóhoz mentek, érdeklődtek erről-arról, és meg voltunk róla győződve, hogy vannak köztünk téglák [besúgók]. De ez senkit igazából nem érdekelt. Én is mindig azt mondtam, hogy ha rólam valamit jelentenek, hát jelentenek. Semmi olyat nem teszek, amiből nekem bajom lehetne. De volt olyan kollégám, akiről tudom, hogy volt balhéja. Korrupciógyanúba keveredett, aztán mégis hagyták, hogy dolgozzon, szóval ilyen elmaszatolt dolgok voltak [].

Nem voltak rosszak a fizetések, és a fizetésen kívül volt nyelvpótlék. Nekem negyvenöt százalék nyelvpótlékom volt, mert akkor három felsőfokú nyelvvizsgám volt. Ugyanis anyám tanulási mániájából kifolyólag négy nyelvet nagyon jól megtanultam. Én mindig azt mondtam, hogy ha nekem ötször annyi fizetést adnának, teljesen felesleges lenne, mert ötször jobban nem tudnék dolgozni. Mert úgy dolgoztam, mintha a magamé lenne.

Akkoriban az emberek jelentős része úgy gondolta, hogy nem vagyunk elég jól megfizetve, és lehetőség szerint minél kevesebbet adjunk ki magunkból. Ez főleg akkorra volt igaz, amikor már lehetett valami mellékállásból plusz pénzt keresni. Voltak GMK-k [lásd: gazdasági munkaközösség] és hasonló  lehetőségek. Nagyon sok ember élt így, hogy tessék-lássék, amit nagyon muszáj volt, azt megcsinálta, de az erejét tartogatta a privát életére [Az interjúalany feltehetően az 1970-es évekről beszél, mert a kisebbik lánya akkor volt gyerek. GMK-k viszont csak 1981-től évektől léteztek. – A szerk.]. De azért sokan dolgoztak tényleg lelkiismeretesen a munkahelyükön. A két lányom, pláne a kisebbik, még ma is mondja, hogy én milyen keveset voltam velük. És ezt nagyon sajnálom egyébként, de tényleg úgy volt, hogy ha dolgozni kellett, mert valamit végig kellett vinni, engem egyáltalán nem érdekelt, hogy hány óra van, délután öt-e vagy este hét.

Elég nagy szigorúságot tartottam. Azt mondtam: „Gyerekek! Karácsonykor el lehet fogadni egy üveg kölnit vagy egy üveg bort, de itt megvesztegetés nincs, mert ha valahol van, akkor kész.” „Nem azért, mert tiltja a törvény, hanem azért, mert akkor nem leszünk többé szabad emberek. Akitől valamit elfogadsz, azzal soha többé szabadon nem tudsz tárgyalni. A lekötelezettje vagy, és te vele már többé jó üzletet kötni nem fogsz.”

A munkatársaimnak őszintén megmondtam a véleményemet róluk, a munkájukról. Szívesen dicsértem, ha volt mit, de azt is megmondtam, ha rossz munkát végeztek, vagy éppen nem volt valaki alkalmas. Ez nem volt szokás. Az embereket egy kicsit hazugságban tartották, mert nem szembesítették őket azzal, hogy mire képesek. A végére az a csapat, amelyikkel én dolgoztam, remek emberekből állt. Néhányukkal most is nagyon jóban vagyok.

A Konzumexnél a munkámból kifolyólag sokat utaztam. Ez akkoriban elég privilegizált helyzet volt. Azért is szerettem ennyire a munkámat, mert tele voltam sikerélményekkel. Valahogyan szerencsém volt sok időn keresztül, hogy szinte soha nem kötöttem rossz üzleteket. Heteket, hónapokat voltam külföldön. Kínában voltam háromszor, méghozzá hosszú ideig. Egész Európát bejártam, Távol-Keletre nagyon sokat utaztam, voltam amerikai-, latin-amerikai és afrikai országokban. Hallatlan nyitottságot adott ez a munka. És egy közvetlen információszerzési lehetőség volt, ami megfizethetetlen. Nagyon szerettem utazni, a férjem is rengeteget utazott, de soha föl nem merült bennünk, hogy disszidáljunk. Egy sor barátunk disszidált 1956-ban [lásd: disszidálás], de nekünk ez nem jutott eszünkbe. Én azt gondoltam, hogy ide születtem, ez a hazám, vagy olyan rendszer van, ami nekem tetszik, vagy nem, de akkor is ez az egy nyelv az anyanyelvem, itthon vagyunk, tehát nincs miért disszidálni.

Az első férjem, Varga György [szül. 1924] húgával egy gimnáziumi osztályba jártunk. Ő a háború után lett az osztálytársnőm, nagyon okos, helyes lány volt. Jó barátok lettünk, és ugye jött az iskolába a húgáért a bátyja, belém szeretett, és éppen csak azt volt hajlandó megvárni, amíg leérettségizem, és érettségi után, 1950-ben össze is házasodtunk.

Ő egy vidéki [barcsi] zsidó család tagja volt. Az édesapja egyike volt a legrégibb magyarországi szocdemeknek [lásd: MSZDP], úgyhogy őt nem is mint zsidót vitték el  vidékről, hanem sokkal előbb mint szocdemet Mauthausenbe. De csak őt vitték el, a családot békén hagyták, aztán mint vidéki zsidókat vitték el, és az édesanyját Auschwitzban elgázosították, de a férjem húga megmaradt. Tetováltak rá számot, és csontvázként hazajött. Az apja később megnősült másodszor is, és 1946-ban felköltöztek Pestre, Budára pontosabban. Ez egy nagyon rendes, helyes, barátságos légkörű család volt. Kedves, nagyon okos ember volt az apja. A férjem gyerekkorában lehetett valami vallásosság a családban, de mivel az édesapja szocdem volt és nagyon felvilágosult, olyan nagy vallásosságról bizony szó se volt, inkább hagyományápolásról.

A zsidó családokban sok azonosság volt a hagyományokban. Például amikor anyám a hét végére libát vett, annak sajátos „menetrendje” volt. Pénteken volt húsleves és aprólék, gomba- vagy paradicsommártással. Szombaton sült liba és máj volt, sólettel, töltött libanyakkal. Ez a libanyak bőre, paprikás liszttel megtöltve, a sóletben főzve vagy külön megsütve, felszeletelve. Ugyanez a szokás volt az első férjem családjában, Barcson és a második férjem családjában, Pesten.

Az első férjemnek már nagyon fiatalon nagyon magas beosztásai voltak, mert kitűnő gazdasági szakember volt. Először a Földművelési Minisztériumnak a főkönyvelője volt. Aztán nagyon sokáig a Magyar Televízió propaganda-reklámszervezetének volt a vezetője. Nagyon jó gazdasági szakember volt. És aztán az első nem állami rádiót, a Danubius Rádiót ő hozta létre.

Hét évig éltünk együtt. Azért váltunk el, mert valahogy nem illettünk össze. Énmiattam váltunk el, én nem akartam a házasságot fönntartani. Ez a Kádár-rendszer kezdete volt, amikor a szocialista erkölcs konzervatívabb, dogmatikusabb volt, mint a legkeresztényibb erkölcs. És ha a két váló fél közül az egyik azt mondta, hogy én fönn akarom tartani a családi kapcsolatot, különösen, ha közös gyerek is volt, akkor nehezen lehetett elválni. Úgyhogy több mint két évig tartott a válóperünk, végül 1959-ben váltunk el. A válás után, ha nem is volt baráti, de korrekt maradt a viszonyunk, hiszen volt egy közös gyerekünk. Sőt amikor a második férjem meghalt, ő nagyon rendesen felkeresett, hogy tud-e segíteni valamiben. Az első férjem  1995-ben halt meg itt, Pesten.

A nagyobbik lányom, Julika, 1951-ben született, a Kossuth Zsuzsa gimnáziumban érettségizett, kitűnő eredménnyel. Ekkor már anyámmal élt, mert amikor elváltam, és újból férjhez mentem, ő anyámat választotta, vele akart élni. Anyám, azt hiszem, őt szerette a legjobban a világon. Együtt is éltek egészen Julika férjhezmeneteléig, 1972-ig. Julika az ELTE jogi szakán doktorált, de nem jogászkodott soha, újságíró lett, mint a férje. Két gyereke van: Péter, a legidősebb unokám, aki most harmincegy éves, neurobiológus kutató, „summa cum laude” doktorált, nemrég nősült meg. A lánya, Mariola pedig egy nagy bank központjában dolgozik. Két okos, kedves, melegszívű gyerek.

A második férjem, Dósai István egy kifejezetten jómódú zsidó családból származott. Az édesapjának péksége és péküzlete volt, meg bérházai valamikor még a két háború között. De tönkrementek még a németektől függetlenül is, mert volt egy rokonuk, akinek a férjem apja kezességet vállalt egy váltóra, amit az nem fizetett ki. A férjem anyanyelvi szinten beszélt németül, mert gyerekkorában fräulein volt velük, és így tanultak meg  németül. De anyanyelvi szinten beszélt öt nyelven: németül, angolul, franciául, olaszul, spanyolul. A bátyja még eggyel többet tudott, még portugálul is tudott nagyon jól.

A Szent István gimnáziumban érettségizett 1944-ben. Kitűnőre érettségizett mindenből, pedig akkor nagyon kegyetlen dolog volt egy zsidó fiúnak kitűnőre érettségizni. És behívták rögtön munkaszolgálatra. Borban volt [lásd: bori rézbányák], onnét jött haza. Ő is ebben a bizonyos második lépcsőben volt.

A férjem nagyon baloldali érzelmű és meggyőződésű volt. Jelentkezett húszegynéhány éves korában az egyetem mellett a honvédségbe. Nagyon fiatalon a szolnoki repülőtiszti főiskolán volt főhadnagyi rangban politikai tiszt. Itt tanította a jövendő repülőtiszteket. Egy ízben lement a Farkas Mihály, aki akkor honvédelmi miniszter volt, egy szokásos reptérvizitre. A férjem éppen az 1933-as németországi választásokat magyarázta a hallgatóinak, és ott maradt a táblán egy grafikon, ami azt mutatta, hogy a korábbi német munkáspárti szavazók közül milyen sokan szavaztak a náci pártra [Az 1933-as választást a Hitler vezette Nemzeti Szocialista Német Munkáspárt nyerte meg, és Hitler lett Németország kancellárja. – A szerk.] Farkas Mihály nagy megdöbbenéssel nézte, bement a tanterembe is, hogy mi ez. Kérdezte, hogy ki az, aki az iskolán ezt tanítja. Mondták, hogy a Dósai. „Hát ennek jó lenne utánanézni” – mondta Farkas.

Ebből egy koncepciós per lett. Egy katonatiszt barátja, akivel egy albérletben lakott, volt az elsőrendű vádlott, ő a másodrendű. A vád a népi demokrácia aláásása hamis adatokkal, szervezkedés meg kémkedés lett. El is ítélték őt, ha jól emlékszem, tizenöt évre, amiből le is ült öt évet. 1954-ben szabadult ki, amikor elkezdődtek a rehabilitálások. [Sztálin 1953-as halála után Hruscsov, az utódja, meghirdette az olvadás politikáját. A hruscsovi desztalinizációs korszakot Ilja Ehrenburg 1954-ben megjelent Olvadás c. kisregénye nyomán nevezték „olvadás”-nak. Az MDP vezetőit Moszkvába rendelték, és Rákosi helyett Nagy Imrét nevezték ki miniszterelnöknek. A Nagy Imre nevével fémjelzett politikai enyhülés idején megkezdődött – többek között – a politikai okokból törvénytelenül bebörtönzöttek rehabilitálása, a kitelepítések megszüntetése és hatálytalanítása. 1955 tavaszára azonban felülkerekedtek a keményvonalas kommunisták, Nagy Imrét 1955 áprilisában megfosztották tisztségétől, és kizárták a pártból. – A szerk.] De a koncepciós pere valódi okait csak a kiszabadulása után, évekkel később ismerte meg, akkor fogalma sem volt róla.

Farkas Mihály látogatása után néhány napi szabadságra feljött Pestre, és amikor visszaérkezett Szolnokra, két beosztottja várta a vasútállomáson. Meg is köszönte, hogy kimentek eléje autóval. Az autóban az egyik tiszt előre, a másik hátra ült. Aki mellette ült, azt mondta neki: „Pista, vedd le a pisztolytáskádat, és add át a pisztolyodat, mert le vagy tartóztatva.” Azt hitte, hogy ez csak valami baráti ugratás – de hamar kiderült, hogy nem. Elkezdődött egy hónapokig tartó kihallgatássorozat, először a Fő utcai katonai börtönben, majd más börtönökben, tárgyalás és ítélet.

Nagyon nehezen és keveset beszélt a férjem arról, ami ott történt velük a tárgyalások előtt, a kihallgatások során, majd a börtönben, de körülbelül olyasmik, mint amilyeneket olyan nagyon szívesen mutogatnak most a Terror Házában. Ami a férjemet abszolút nem ingatta meg a baloldali meggyőződésében. Az is maradt élete végéig. Ő ott jött rá arra, hogy kiknek a kezébe került akkor személy szerint a hatalom. Ez aztán nagyon rányomta a bélyegét az egész életére. Ez egy borzasztó dolog volt. De ettől a férjem csak még okosabb lett. Lehet, hogy elfogult vagyok persze, bár sok másnak is ez volt a véleménye róla, de intelligens, okos, rendkívül művelt, jószívű, kedves, elragadó, egy igazi charmeur volt, aki mindenkit elbűvölt. Mert mindenkit szeretett, őszinte, nyitott szívvel közeledett mindenkihez.

Soha többé a honvédség tájékára se akart menni, de fölajánlottak neki mindenféle állást. Volt akkor a különböző filmes vállalatoknak (MOKÉP, megyei moziüzemi vállalatok) egy felettes hatósága, a Népművelési Minisztérium Országos Moziüzemi Igazgatósága (OMI). Ez lett később a Filmfőigazgatóság [Filmfőigazgatóság – centralizált intézmény volt a filmszakmai döntések meghozatalára (1957-től működött): minden Magyarországon készült, valamint Magyarországon bemutatott filmet kötelező volt forgalmazás előtt a Filmfőigazgatóságnál bemutatni, regisztráltatni, besoroltatni. Vétójoga volt (a film forgatókönyvét illetően is, a kész film forgalmazását illetően is övé volt a végső szó), amely fennállásáig megmaradt, s ha valamelyik film túlságosan avantgárdnak, szókimondónak stb. bizonyult, azt archiválta, de nem engedélyezte a bemutatását. Hatósági jogköre volt az állami dotáció felhasználását, a filmengedélyek okiratának kiadását, a filmek korhatárának megállapítását stb. illetően. A Filmfőigazgatóság döntötte el (a Hungarofilmmel együtt), hogy kijut-e egy-egy film valamelyik nemzetközi fesztiválra. (Bizonyos tevékenységeit az 1991-ben megalakult Magyar Mozgókép Alapítvány vette át.) – A szerk.]. Ez akkor a Báthory utca 10-ben működött. Itt ajánlottak fel neki osztályvezetői állást, amit el is fogadott, mert mindig nagyon érdekelte a kultúra, irodalom, film. Az OMI több dolgozója – többek között ő is – átjárt hetente kétszer-háromszor a MOKÉP házivetítőjébe, filmvetítésekre. A MOKÉP és a Fővárosi Moziüzemi Vállalat akkor – a város háborús megrongálódása miatt – a jelenlegi Royal Szállodában működött [A mozikat az államosításig a politikai pártok kezelésébe adták ( pl. 1945 novemberében az egykori Lloyd /később Duna, ma Odeon/ mozi Budapest Székesfőváros Polgármesterétől a Szociáldemokrata Párt moziérdekeltségeként kapott ideiglenes nyitási engedélyt). 1948-ban sor került a mozik államosítására és központi irányítására is: lett 19 önálló megyei, ill. egy fővárosi moziüzemeltető vállalat (az utóbbi neve Fővárosi Mozgóképszínház Vállalat, majd 1954-től Fővárosi Moziüzemi Vállalat (FÖMO), amely gazdasági, technikai, irányítási, és felügyeleti szempontból a Fővárosi Tanács alá tartozott). Nem tudjuk, hogy az Országos Moziüzemi Igazgatóságot mikor hívták életre, és mi volt a funkciója, valószínűleg a megyei és a fővárosi moziüzemi vállalatok felettes hatósága volt. – A szerk.].

Én ugyanebben az épületben dolgoztam, a MOKÉP-nél, és egy jó barátnőm, egy nagyon szép asszony is ott dolgozott. Ez az a lódenkabátos, svájcisapkás idő volt. De nekem nem a szokásos zöld lódenkabátom volt, hanem egy világosbarna, és nem barna svájcisapkát hordtam, hanem pirosat.

Minden héten kétszer vetítéssel kezdődött a munka, a házi vetítőben. A férjem, ahogy utóbb elmondta nekem, amikor kijött öt év börtön után, meglehetősen megviselt állapotban volt, és csak azt látta, hogy két nagyon csinos nő van ott, az egyik piros svájcisapkát hord, a másik barnát. Megkérdezte a kollégáit, hogy láttam, gyerekek, a vetítőben két nagyon csinos nőt  az egyiken piros, a másikon barna svájci sapka, azok kik? Mondták erre neki, hogy nézd, a barna svájcisapkás egy vidéki asszony, nemrég vált el. De a másiktól óvakodj, annak a férje nagyon féltékeny. Ez utóbbi voltam én. Az élet tényleg mókás, István így a barátnőmnek kezdett el udvarolni, és talán egy fél év után el is vette őt feleségül. Együtt is éltek egy évig, de azután elváltak 1957-ben. Mi pedig 1960 februárjában házasodtunk össze.

A Rákosi-rendszer alatti élet és életmód, szokások nagyon különböztek a Kádár-rendszer alatti, különösen annak már az 1960-as évektől kezdődő szakaszától. Az szinte két különböző világ volt. A Rákosi-rendszerben nem volt kérdés, hogy mi kötelező, és mi nem. Mindenki tudta, hogy mi kötelező. Kötelező volt mindenen részt venni. Én például a felvételi irodán voltam tisztviselő a Szabolcs utcai kórházban, és ott kötelező Szabad Nép-félóra volt. Úgy hívták a párt lapját, hogy „Szabad Nép” [Politikai napilap volt, 1942. február – 1956. október között (1942. május és 1944. szeptember között nem jelenhetett meg), 1945 márciusától az MKP, majd 1948 júniusától az MDP központi lapja. Utódja 1956 novemberétől a „Népszabadság”. – A szerk.]. A munkaidő 7-kor kezdődött, és egy héten egyszer, de inkább kétszer be kellett menni reggel 6-ra, mert akkor az előző napi „Szabad Nép”-et elemeztük. Csoportok voltak, meg volt határozva, hogy ki hova jár, annak volt egy vezetője, és elemeztük, hogy mit írt a „Szabad Nép” az imperialistákról, a gyárról, a földekről. Abban a csoportban, ahova én jártam, mint tizennyolc-tizenkilenc éves lány, volt a kórházból néhány ápolónő, néhány orvos, és ezeket a Szabad Nép-félórákat a kórház fűtője tartotta. Kötelező volt május elsején felvonulni, kötelező volt a november hetedikei ünnepség [Május 1. mint a szervezett nemzetközi munkásság és a munka ünnepe 1946-tól lett munkaszüneti nap. November 7. a Nagy Októberi Szocialista Forradalom évfordulója, melyet minden évben megünnepeltek a szocialista országokban, szintén munkaszüneti nap volt 1990-ig. –  A szerk.] Olyan fura, hogy tulajdonképpen ez a tényleg nagyon-nagyon rossz és nehezen átélhető Rákosi-kor néhány év volt csak, és mégis annyira rányomta a bélyegét az ember életére.

Egészen másképp nézett már ki a Kádár-rendszer. Annak a rendszernek, ami miatt olyan sok ember örömmel élt benne, többek között a fő meglátása az volt, hogy az embereket maximálisan békén kell hagyni. Így lehetett az, hogy amit nem tudtak az emberek közösségben kiélni, azt a saját családi, baráti társaságukban, magánéletükben megtehették. Így volt, hogy legyen egy kis telek, ha lehet, vegyünk autót, ha lehet, utazzunk el, nyaraljunk, menjünk ide-oda. Megvoltak a rituális ünnepek, az április 4., május 1. meg november 7., de ezeknek messze nem volt már olyan jelentőségük, mint a Rákosi-rendszerben. Nem voltak olyannyira kötelezőek, hogy bárkinek bármi baja lett volna, ha nem volt ott egy november hetedikei ünnepségen. Adtak pénzjutalmat, kitüntetéseket, az ember meghallgatott néhány többé-kevésbé rosszul, néha jól sikerült beszédet. A május elsejék a végén annyira nem voltak kötelezőek, hogy amikor az 1970-es években rengeteg embernek lett a Duna-kanyarban vagy a Balatonon hétvégi háza, az ünnep körüli két-három üres napon mindenki szanaszét futott, és soha senkinek nem szóltak, hogy miért nem jött felvonulni. Mi is vettünk 1972-ben a Balaton mellett egy nagyon szép kis telket. Tényleg csak a part, a nádas volt előttünk, és nagyon szerettünk lejárni.  Szóval az emberek kezdtek jobban keresni, biztonságosabban, békésebben élni. És habár a légkör nagyon depolitizált volt, de a férjem és a baráti társaságunk sokat vitatkozott politikáról.

Az életem jelentős részében a politikának nem tulajdonítottam sok jelentőséget, nagyon el voltam foglalva a saját életemmel. A gyerekkoromban sokat hallottam az aktuális politikai eseményekről, mert a családunk arra volt kényszerítve, hogy odafigyeljen arra, hogy mi történik. Végül is az életünk múlott azon, hogy mi történik. De én örültem, hogy ez lezárult, és most már normális békebeli élet van, és dehogy érdekelt engem, hogy mi történik. Amikor kineveztek először osztályvezetőnek, emlékszem, hogy szóltak nekem a főnökeim, akikkel jó viszonyban voltam, hogy nem gondolnám-e, hogy be kellene lépni a pártba. Mondtam, hogy eddig erre nem gondoltam. „Most miért kellene rá gondolnom?” „Mert mégis most már osztályvezető, és tulajdonképpen a képességeitől maga akár miniszter is lehetne.” Erre azt feleltem: „Mondok én valamit, ha a képességeimtől akár miniszter is lehetnék, majd leszek. Ezért én ugyan be nem lépek sehová.” Ebben maradtunk. És párton kívüliként lettem kereskedelmi igazgató. Érdekes módon akkoriban kezdett el érdekelni a politika, azt gondoltam, hogy talán mégiscsak belépek én a pártba, mert ezen a párton valamit változtatni kellene. 1978-ban beléptem, és benn is maradtam a pártban egészen 1989-ig, amikor feloszlott.

A kisebbik lányom, Tamara 1962-ben született. A nevét egy Lermontov költeményből, a „Démon”-ból kapta, a főhős költő szerelme egy grúz hercegnő, Tamara után. Azt hiszem, illik rá a neve, szereti is. A Radnótiba járt, ennek fantasztikus jó neve volt mindig. Odajárt első általánostól kezdve, ott is érettségizett le, igen jó eredménnyel. Az apja is meg én is humán beállítottságúak voltunk, de Tamara úgy gondolta, hogy neki valami mást kell tenni, úgy döntött, hogy biológus lesz. A debreceni egyetemre vették fel, elvégzett a földrajz–biológia szakon egy félévet, majd a budapesti ELTE-n folytatta. De rájött, hogy a biológia nem neki való, jelentkezett a Külkereskedelmi Főiskola külker-marketing szakára (ma ez a külgazdaság szak), és olyan kitűnő felvételit produkált, hogy egyből felvették. Nagyon jó eredménnyel végezte el a főiskolát, méghozzá úgy, hogy közben férjhez ment, megszületett Dávid fia, és egy kisgyerek mellett végezte el a főiskola nappali szakát. Ráadásul még mi sem tudtunk a férjemmel neki segíteni, mert hiszen közben, 1984-ben kimentünk a férjemmel Rómába, hosszú évekre. Tamara  nem lett külkeres, hanem a reklámszakmát választotta, ma is egy reklámcégnek az egyik tulajdonosa, ezt szereti, és jól csinálja. Dávid unokám idén huszonkét éves, szociológiát hallgat az ELTE-n, igazi mai fiatal, értelmes, olvasott, szabadelvű, sokat politizál.

Mind a két lányom nagyon korán ment férjhez. Nekem ugyan azt mondták, hogy ők soha olyan korán nem mennek férjhez, és fognak szülni, mint én, hogy még húsz éves se voltam. Mind a kettő ezt tette.

Nagyon sokáig a gyerekeim semmit sem kérdeztek a múltunkról, mert mi soha nem beszéltünk a megrázkódtatásról, ami mindegyikünket ért. De nem azért, mert akár a férjem, akár én bármiféle tagadnivalót találtunk volna ebben, úgy gondoltuk, hogy erről nincs mit beszélni. Úgy gondoltuk, hogy annak a világnak egyszer s mindenkorra vége, amikor ez bármihez az életben szempont lehet. Nem tagadtuk soha, hogy zsidók vagyunk, hanem ez egyszerűen nem volt otthon téma. Tipikusan az a fajta család voltunk, amilyenről az ember hall meg olvas, hogy a gyerekek felnőnek, mire megtudják a szülők, a család múltját. Nem volt olyan, hogy gyertek, üljetek le, mert most elmondunk egy nagy titkot. Úgy lassan, apránként derült ki. A nagyobbik lányom éveken keresztül élt az édesanyámmal, úgy kilenc-tíz éves korától 1972-ig, a férjhezmeneteléig. És az én édesanyám, aki ha nagyon szigorúan vesszük, csak félig volt zsidó, mégis zsidóbb volt, mint én. Ő nagyanyaként több mindent adott át a zsidóságból, mint én a gyerekemnek. Szóval Julika lányom korábban ismerte a zsidóságát, elfogadta, nem voltak ezzel gondjai, amennyire én tudom, sem a gimnáziumban, sem az egyetemen. A kisebbiknél ez később történt meg. Mert mi a férjemmel nem tartottuk ezt az egész dolgot megbeszélendő témának. Ma úgy érzem, hogy ez egy nagy butaság volt, mert az életünknek erről a részéről a gyerekeinknek jogosan tudniuk kellett volna a kezdet kezdetétől, arról, hogy a családdal mi történt a háború alatt, és így lassan összeállhat bennük a kép.

Ez a blokkolás nem is olyan nagyon régen ért véget, talán most, tizenöt éve. Azóta, amióta itt elölről kezdődött sok minden, amitől az, aki annyi idős, mint én, egész egyszerűen meghökken. Hogy újból folyik a Horthy-korszak rehabilitálása, hogy ismét szinte szalonképes antiszemitának lenni, sőt nyíltan lehet dicsőíteni még a nyilasokat is. Hogyhogy nem látják, hogy ennek mi lesz a vége?! Ennek kapcsán egypár dolgot elmondtam a lányaimnak. Ez tényleg érdekli őket, mert a legélesebb kérdéseket mindig úgy teszik föl nekem, hogy ők nem tudják megérteni, hogy például miért nem mentünk el innét, már amikor a zsidótörvényeket [lásd: zsidótörvények Magyarországon] létrehozták. Erre nem tudok válaszolni. Csak azt tudom mondani, hogy volt, aki elment, és volt, aki úgy érezte, hogy ezt nem lehet. Itt születtünk, ez a hazánk. Miért mennénk el? Vagy hogy „Mi az, hogy bevittek titeket a gettóba, mi az, hogy ott tartottak, hogyhogy bevagoníroztak?! Hát ez nem létezik! Többen voltatok, mint a csendőrök!”. És nagyon-nagyon kínkeservesen tudom csak elmondani, és nem is tudom, hogy fölfogják-e, mert mindig ez a szöveg, hogy így tűrtétek, hogy a vágóhídra vigyenek titeket. Igen. Így tűrtük. Erre kérdeznek rá legtöbbet. Ez egyszerűen nem fér a fejükbe.

Ennek van egy nagyon érdekes folytatása, ami engem is borzasztóan meglepett. Az édesanyám ikertestvérének, az Aladárnak, aki Ukrajnában, munkaszolgálatosként halt meg, volt egy fia, a Tomi.  Ő körülbelül 1942-ben született, velünk volt a csillagos házban. Az édesanyja meghalt 1944-ben tüdőgyulladásban, és ő egy darabig nálunk volt, aztán az anyai nagyanyja magához vette. Amikor az meghalt, árvaházba került. Ő volt a családból az egyetlen, aki elment Izraelbe, ma is ott él. Julika lányom megtudta az izraeli címét, telefonszámát, és elkezdett vele levelezni. Én körülbelül nyolc évvel ezelőtt egy barátnőmmel elmentem egy turistaútra Izraelbe, elhatároztam, hogy telefonálok neki, megkeresem őt, akit én utoljára 1945 tájt láttam, mint hároméves gyereket. Találkoztunk is. Kiderült, hogy nagyon sok mindenre emlékszik a gyerekkorából. Egy már kint született felesége volt, aki sajnos azóta meghalt, és két gyönyörű, már felnőtt gyereke. A fia katonatiszt, méghozzá repülős, és az amerikai hadseregben képezték ki. Ott élt együtt a szülőkkel. Valamennyit értettek magyarul. Akkor ez a fiatal srác azt mondta nekem: „Akármit beszélt apám, meg te is akármit mondasz nekem, soha nem fogom megérteni, hogy történhetett ez veletek.”  Mondom: „Nézd, nem is fogjuk tudni ezt megmagyarázni neked, mert ahhoz ott kellett élni és akkor.” „Nem. Én tudom, hogy ti mire hivatkoztok, de nézz ide, mutatok neked valamit.” És megmutatja nekem az övét, amin lóg egy tőr. Mondom: „Ezt minek mutatod?” Azt mondja: „Nézd! Hogyha bárki hozzám ér, és a halálomat akarja, és valamire akar kényszeríteni, akkor én lehet, hogy meghalok, de előbb ő hal meg.” És én ott leszédültem ezen a gondolatmeneten, ami egy szabadságban született és ott felnőtt embernek a gondolkodásmódja, hogy meghalok, de nem hagyom magamat.

Amikor a lányaim kisgyerekek voltak, húsvétkor festettünk tojást, a nyuszika tojt csoki nyuszit, jártak locsolni hozzánk fiúk a gyerekekhez. Karácsonyfánk csaknem mindig volt, és volt karácsonyi ajándékozás is. De persze ezeket nem tekintettük vallási ünnepeknek, inkább a gyerekek örömére szolgált. A rendszerváltás óta azonban ezeket megszüntettük, részben mert nemcsak a gyerekek, de az unokák is mind felnőttek, részben mert talán ez egyfajta ellenállás is az elterjedt zsidózás hatására.

Ma, amikor a vallásosságnak meg a hagyományoknak szerintem minden valláshoz tartozónál van egyfajta reneszánsza, az én kisebbik lányom, Tamara sok mindent megtanult a zsidó szokásokból, vallási ünnepekből.  Amikor a fia, Dávid hat éves lett, a Lauder Javne iskolába íratta be [Lauder Javne Zsidó Közösségi Óvoda, Általános, Közép- és Szakiskola, amelyet alapítvány működtet. Történetéről, különleges pedagógiai módszereiről lásd az iskola honlapját: www.lauder.hu – A szerk.], ahogyan mondta, egyrészt mert az egy kitűnő iskola, másrészt, hogy hadd legyen a fiának identitása. 

A Konzumextől mentem nyugdíjba, de közben még kimentem Rómába a férjemmel, hét évig éltünk ott. A férjem volt a Római Magyar Akadémia igazgatója. Az tényleg gyönyörű hét év volt. A férjemmel rengeteget kirándultunk. Olaszországot úgy végigjártuk, hogy a fejétől a talpáig alig van hely, ahol én ne jártam volna. Mire hazajöttünk, éppen bekövetkezett a rendszerváltás.

Amikor hazajöttünk Rómából, egy kft.-ét alapítottunk a férjemmel. Néhány olasz barátunk ugyanis azt mondta, nagyon jó lenne, ha valaki képviselné őket Magyarországon, ott most olyan fölfordulás van gazdaságilag, azt se tudják, hova menjenek, hová forduljanak. Ez a kis kft. megalakult, de mire a Cégbíróságról kijöttek a papírok, addigra a férjem meghalt, úgyhogy egyedül maradtam, de ment a dolog. Volt jó néhány cég, olasz, angol, spanyol textilesek, amelyeket Magyarországon képviseltem. Ez nagyon sok munkát adott. Én voltam a gépírónőtől kezdve az igazgatóig minden, és rengeteget utaztam, tárgyaltam, jöttem-mentem. Elég jól is mentek az üzleti ügyek. Ennek tulajdonképpen az vetett véget, hogy nem tudnék már naponta tíz-tizenkét órát dolgozni, mint amennyit dolgoztam nyolc-tíz éven keresztül. Ez két dolog miatt is jó volt. Az egyik, hogy anyagilag kellett. Másrészt a férjem elég váratlanul, egy hét alatt meghalt, és azt, hogy én így talpon tudtam maradni, ennek köszönhetem. Én ebbe a munkába menekültem. Ezekben az években hagyjuk, hogy mit csináltam a szabadidőmben. Semmit. Boldog voltam, ha alhattam és pihenhettem. És most két éve nincs, de korábban volt kutyám. Nagyon szeretem az állatokat, és a kutyákat különösen, és azért az elég sok időt elvett, bár nagyon jó volt, mert muszáj volt velük sétálni. Volt kis kutyám meg nagy testű is, főleg megmentett kutyák.

Volt jó néhány baráti házaspár, akikkel nagyon szívesen jöttünk össze. De nagyon kevés maradt, akikkel még most is szívesen találkozom. Valójában azért járok kevesebbel össze, mert nagyon visszavonultam, amióta a férjem meghalt. Úgy gondoltam, hogyha összejövünk is, hárman vagy öten vagy heten vagyunk. és nem akartam soha senkinek se a terhére lenni. De azért a régi barátságok megmaradtak. Az egyik baráti házaspárt, akiket nagyon szeretek és nem zsidók, körülbelül negyvenkét éve ismerem. Egy házban laktunk valaha, és onnét datálódik az ismeretségünk, egymás mellett van a nyaralónk is. Velük soha nem politizálok, hanem ezer más dologról nagyon jól elbeszélgetünk, Balatonról, gyerekekről, erről, arról.   Sajnos az egyik legjobb barátnőm két éve meghalt, de a férje él, vele néha találkozom.

Imádok olvasni. Két-három regényt olvasok egyszerre. Nagyon szeretek kiállításokra járni, nagyon-nagyon szeretem a zenét, de bevallom, hogy rég voltam az operában. Valahogy ahhoz úgy neki kell készülődni, föl kell öltözködni, meg kell venni a jegyet. Nagyritkán megyek színházba, bár valaha az egyik fő örömöm volt. Nagyon szeretek moziba járni. Ki szoktam venni videót vagy DVD-ét, és itthon megnézni.

Nagyon sokat vagyok együtt a gyerekeimmel. Nincs hét, hogy akár a nagylányommal vagy a kisebbikkel ne lennénk együtt. El szoktunk menni egy-egy jelesebb alkalommal vagy csak úgy étterembe ebédelni, és nagyokat dumálunk.

Mire idősebb lettem, addigra kezdett el érdekelni a közélet meg a politika. Ez ma az életemnek egy jelentős részét tölti ki. Talán többet is foglalkozom vele, mint kellene. 1989-ben Rómában voltunk, úgyhogy a rendszerváltást egy kicsit kívülállóként éltem meg. Úgy éreztük a férjemmel, hogy nagyon sok értelmiségi, aki ennek az egésznek a motorja volt, és akiknek nagy részét az ember tényleg nagyon tisztelte, felhőtlenül gyönyörűnek látja azt, hogy most egy rendszer összeomlott, és egy másik virágozni fog pillanatokon belül. Én is azt gondoltam, de a férjem is, hogy érdekes, itt senki nem mondja el, hogy ennek nagyon nagy ára lesz.

Megvallom őszintén, hogy úgy gondolom, nagyon rossz rendszer a kapitalizmus, de nem találtak jobbat ki eddig. Nem tudom, hogy a kapitalizmus hova fog vezetni, mikor fog megbukni, mert én úgy érzem, hogy emberileg megbukott az egyre élesedő, borzalmas különbség miatt, ami egy országon belül van emberek között, a lehetőségeik, az esélyeik között, vagy ami egyes országok között van. Magyarországon nem feltétlenül kellett volna ilyen élesen ebbe az irányba eltolódnia mindennek. Kialakulhatott volna Magyarországon egy olyan jellegű konzervatív jobboldal, mint amilyen Németországban vagy Franciaországban van. Most számomra egy pártnak, egy újságnak vagy egy mozgalomnak a megítélésénél a legfontosabb szempont az, hogy ez most fasiszta-e vagy sem, antiszemita-e vagy sem. Ha úgy gondolom, hogy X. Y. egy antiszemita, akkor én azzal már nem beszélek. Nekem ezen nincs mit megvitatni, ezeket érvekkel meggyőzni úgysem lehet.

Úgy gondolom, hogy amin az ember keresztülment, az elég sok volt ahhoz, hogy ne kelljen ezt megint előlről kezdeni. Így egész más lett a kapcsolatom az elmúlt tizenöt év alatt a saját származásomhoz. A népszámláláskor kitöltöttem a vallással kapcsolatos rovatot, és azt mondtam, hogy zsidó vagyok [Az interjúalany a 2001. évi népszámlálásra gondol, ahol opcionálisan meg lehetett jelölni a vallást. – A szerk.]. Bár megmondtam szegény összeírónak, hogy a legszívesebben azt mondanám, hogy ehhez semmi köze. De mivel tudom, hogy ezzel trükközni akarnak, ezért azt mondom, hogy zsidó vagyok. A végén kiderült, hogy ennek alapján óhajtják a különböző egyházakat támogatni.

Apám és anyám családja – apámat kivéve – mind a Kozma utcai zsidó temetőben lett eltemetve, zsidó szertartás szerint. Amikor édesapám 1980-ban meghalt, a második felesége azt mondta, hogy ők úgy beszélték meg, hogy az aput hamvasszák el. Ez így is lett. De 1980-ban a zsidó temetőbe nem fogadtak be hamvasztottat, így hát ő a zsidó temető melletti  Kozma utcai temetőben  nyugszik, hogy azért mégis közel legyen [A rabbinikus jog (háláhá) tiltja a halottak hamvasztását, mivel a holtak feltámadásába vetett hit tagadásának tekintik. A test végső nyugalomba helyezésének megfelelő módja a megszentelt földbe történő temetés. A reform judaizmus azonban engedélyezi. Lásd még: temetés. – A szerk.]. Édesanyám 1982-ben halt meg, ő is azt akarta, hogy elhamvasszák. Akkor már a zsidó temetőbe befogadták, de nem lehetett szertartása, amit nagyon sajnálok, mert ő biztosan szerette volna. A férjem a Farkasréti temetőben van eltemetve, mert úgy gondoltuk Tamara lányommal, hogy az apu nem szeretne vallási szertartást. De ma már ebben nem vagyok biztos. De hát ő már ott van, és egy „dupla ágyat” vettem, mert ott van mellette a helyem, hogyha erre majd sor kerül. Elviccelem ezeket a komoly dolgokat, de jobb egy kis humorral közelíteni a halálhoz, meg az élethez, mert különben az egész nagyon nehéz lenne.

Neufeld György

Életrajz

Neufeld György 2003 tavaszán halt meg. Egyedül élt az utóbbi években, egyetlen élő hozzátartozója, a fia, aki rendszeresen telefonált neki Kanadából.

Az apai nagyapámnak, Neufeld Jakabnak volt egy kis falusi vegyeskereskedése Bonchidán. Falusi dolgok, ipari cikkek: kasza, kapa, ostor, lóhám, szegek voltak a boltjában. Patkószegtől pipadohányig mindent lehetett ott kapni, kivéve élelmiszert. A bolt hátánál volt a lakás, tehát a bolt hátuljából lehetett bemenni. Nemcsak az ünnepeken, hanem minden reggel és este elment a templomba, ilyenkor be volt csukva a bolt. Minden vallási szabályt megtartottak, kimondottan vallásos ház volt. A bonchidai életéről nagyon keveset tudok, mert csak egy párszor egy-két napra mentünk el oda. Volt egy kis földje, úgy tudom, amit másokkal műveltetett meg. A nagymama nagyon korán meghalt, én lehettem úgy 10-12 éves, úgyhogy én annyit tudok róla, hogy Nagymama, még a nevét sem tudom. Kétszer volt férjnél, az első férje meghalt, Rosmannak hívták, két gyermeke volt tőle: Samu és Hanna, és akkor férjhez ment a nagyapához, s úgy lett aztán még három gyerek. Csak fényképről emlékszem rá, jóságos, mosolygós arca volt.

Amikor a nagyapám özvegy maradt, és beköltözött Bonchidáról Kolozsvárra, már nem dolgozott. Lehettem akkor olyan 13-14 éves. Elég idős korában, az 1920-as évek végén elhatározta, hogy ő elmegy Palesztinába megnézni a szent helyeket. Édesapám nem szívesen engedte el, de ő ragaszkodott hozzá, hogy még életében akarja látni a Siratófalat, és tényleg elment, hajóval. Amikor hazajött, nem sokat mesélt. A II. világháború előtt még nem létezett Izrael mint állam, hanem angol fennhatóság alatt levő terület volt, a kibucok legtöbbje, amelyek akkor épültek, vallástalan volt. Én gyerekként érzelmileg már kötődtem a cionizmushoz, anélkül, hogy tudtam volna pontosan, hogy mi az. Meg akartam előzni, hogy a nagyapám panaszkodjon arra, hogy mennyire vallástalanok az ottani fiatalok. Feltettem neki azt a kérdést gyermekként, hogy ugye elég nem szép, hogy azok szombaton futballoznak, s a nagyapa rám nézett, és azt mondta: „Hát mikor futballozzanak, ha vasárnap dolgoznak?” Ő, a vallásos ember elfogadta ezt, pedig szombaton nem szabad futballozni. Egy másik elbeszélésére emlékszem, hogy Izraelben bement egy vendéglőbe, és a pincér mutatta, hogy annál az asztalnál ül egy rabbi. A rabbi kalap nélkül volt és evett. A nagyapa azt mondja: „Én nem voltam rest, odamentem hozzá, bemutatkoztam és megkérdeztem, hát hogy lehet, hogy rabbi létére kalap nélkül eszik.” A rabbi neki azt válaszolta, hogy a Jóisten elrendelte, hogy mi kalappal járjunk, és kalappal étkezzünk azért, hogy meg lehessen különböztetni egy zsidót egy nem zsidótól. Itt viszont csak zsidók vannak, úgyhogy nem kell ilyen megkülönböztető jel. Erre a két meséjére emlékszem. Egyébként ő nagyon hallgatag, szűkszavú ember volt.

Amikor már Kolozsváron lakott a nagyapa, egyedül csak nálunk evett, szombaton és kivétel nélkül minden zsidó ünnepen nálunk volt. Az ő kedvéért mi nagyon-nagyon vigyáztunk a kóserségre. Például házon kívül a szüleim és én is megettük a sonkát, de a házban nem létezett, a nagyapám kedvéért. Ha nem tartottuk volna meg ezt a tradíciót, a nagyapám soha nem jött volna hozzánk étkezni. A vallási körök divatban voltak a világháború előtt. Az ortodox templomoknak volt egy előcsarnoka, ahol összegyűltek a vallásos emberek, felolvastak egy részt a Bibliából, és magyarázták egymásnak, hogy ki hogy értelmezi. Ezekről csak hallomásból tudok, de azt hiszem, néha a nagyapa elment oda. Kis körszakállat hordott a nagyapám, de kimondott pájesza nem volt. Én nagyon, nagyon szerettem őt. Később is, amikor csak lehetett, és nem volt pont órám az egyetemen, péntek este elmentem érte a templomba, ott ültem mellette az istentisztelet végéig, majd karonfogva hazamentünk, együtt vacsoráztunk, majd hazakísértem. Nem messze tőlünk, egy kis garzonlakásban lakott, a második emeleten. Amikor már öreg lett, nehéz volt neki az emeleteket mászkálni, úgyhogy minden nap felküldött az édesanyám egy adagot abból az ebédből, amit mi is ettünk. Öregkorára megvakult. Úgy úszta meg a deportálást is, hogy plakátok voltak kitéve, hogy a zsidók melyik utcából hol kell jelentkezzenek, ő azonban nem járt ki, és nem tudott róla. A szomszédjai pedig nem jelentették fel, ami nagy ritkaság volt. Így a deportáláskor őt a szó szoros értelmében ottfelejtették.

Három fia volt nagyapámnak, az apám volt a középső. A nagyobbik fia, Mihály ügyvéd volt, de amikor Erdély román fennhatóság alá került [lásd: trianoni békeszerződés], nem volt hajlandó felesküdni a román törvényekre 1918-ban, inkább egy román-belga kis textilgyár igazgatója lett, abbahagyva az ügyvédi pályát. [A trianoni döntés utáni első években az erdélyi magyarság ideiglenes helyzetként fogta fel Erdély Romániához csatolását, a háborús káosznak tudva be azt. Ezzel magyarázható, hogy a magyar hivatalnokok nagy része nem volt hajlandó felesküdni a román alkotmányra, annak ellenére, hogy ez állásuk elvesztését jelentette. – A szerk.] A kisebbik, Mózes kereskedő volt, nagybani fakereskedéssel foglalkozott, mivel Kolozsváron fával fűtöttek abban az időben. A fát az erdészeti hivataltól szerezte be, és eladta télire tüzelőnek. Édesapám, Jenő orvos volt. Édesapám és a testvérei között jó testvéri kapcsolat volt, de a másik két testvér nem volt vallásos. Az én szüleim tartották a vallást, a nagyapa miatt. Nem túlságosan szigorúan, de a háztartás kóser volt.

1944 áprilisában, amikor a szüleimet deportálták, megjelent a nagyapánál Bella, Mózes keresztény felesége. (Mózes elvált az első, zsidó feleségétől, akitől volt egy gyermeke, Márta-Ágnes.) Bár a háború előtt ki volt tagadva a családból Bella [lásd: vegyes házasság], és létezése titokban volt tartva a nagyapa előtt, most minden nap vitt fel ennivalót neki, megmosdatta, gondoskodott róla egészen addig, amíg az édesapám 1945-ben hazakerült a deportálásból, és átvette Bellától ezt a feladatot. Azontúl mindig csak úgy beszélt a nagyapám róla, hogy „Bella lányom”. Abban a házban, ahol a nagyapa lakott, egy jó ismerősünknek volt egy textilüzlete. Főleg Mózes volt jóban az üzlet tulajdonosával, gyakran járt ott, Bella pedig ott dolgozott, így ismerkedhettek meg. Én akkor ismertem meg Bellát, amikor hazakerültem 1946-ban, a férje azonban nem került haza. A deportálásokkor Bella próbálta menteni a férjét, de sikertelenül.

Édesapám Bonchidán született 1889-ben, de Kolozsvárra került, ahol elvégezte az orvosi egyetemet. Belgyógyász volt a klinikán, de magánrendelője is volt, és ha kellett, akár házhoz is ment. Az első világháborúban mint katonaorvos olasz fogságba került, ekkor a nagyapámék elvitték édesanyámat és engem Kolozsvárról Bonchidára, persze a kolozsvári lakást megtartották, úgyhogy egy- vagy másfél éves koromig Bonchidán voltam, s azután mentünk át Ilondára édesanyám nővéréhez, egészen addig, amíg édesapám a fogságból hazakerült. Édesanyám mesélte, hogy óriási vita volt nagyapa és Mina, az ilondai nagynéném között, aki ragaszkodott ahhoz, hogy menjünk hozzá, amíg apám fogságban volt. A nagyapám pedig azzal érvelt, hogy a fia azt mondta, hogy amíg a háborúban lesz, addig ő vigyázzon ránk. Hát vigyáz ránk, de csak úgy tud, ha mi ott vagyunk nála.

Az édesapám Isonzónál volt fogságban [lásd: isonzói harcok]. Ez alatt az idő alatt kimondottan jó dolga volt. Szabadon járkált a városban, bár nem volt szabad elhagynia a várost. A Vöröskereszten keresztül ritkán, de tudott levelezni az édesanyámmal. Mikor fogságba került, az édesanyám kapott egy táviratot a Vöröskereszt révén: „Egészségben, de fogságban vagyok.” Két és fél, három évig volt fogságban, én három éves voltam, amikor hazajött.

Egy orvos kollégájával együtt jött haza Pesten keresztül, ahol éppen akkor tört ki a kommün. Édesapám jól ismerte Kun Bélát, aki vele együtt, egy évvel feljebb járt az Unitárius Gimnáziumba Kolozsváron. Pestről nem lehetett elutazni, csak hatósági engedéllyel, azt pedig nem lehetett kapni. Az édesapám valahogyan bejutott Kun Bélához, a magyarországi kommün vezetőjéhez, és kérte, hogy adjon neki engedélyt. Egyetlen vonat indult még Románia felé. Kun Béla mindenképpen rá akarta beszélni az édesapámat, hogy maradjon ott, kap egy jó állást az egészségügyi minisztériumtól, de az apám nem akart maradni, mondván, hogy neki családja van, és haza akar kerülni. Végül megkapta az engedélyt, és az orvos kollégájával együtt elindultak, de a [nagy]váradi útvonalon nem lehetett jönni, így Temesvár fele jöttek. Déván volt akkor a román–magyar határ. A románok lefogták őket. Elmondták, hogy hadifogságból jönnek, talán volt náluk valami írás is. Kérdezték, hogy merről jöttek. Apám sejtette valahogy, hogy nem kell megmondani, hogy Pesten keresztül jöttek, és azt mondta, hogy Trieszten keresztül. A kollégája azonban erősítette, hogy Pesten keresztül jöttek. Erre a románok úgy vették, hogy azért voltak Pesten, hogy tanulmányozzák a kommunizmust, és letartóztatták őket. Apámnak volt Déván egy ügyvéd jó barátja, évtársa, dr. Szegő. Egy teli hátizsák csokoládét, konzervet meg ilyesmit hozott haza Olaszországból, és minden nap adott egy-egy tábla csokoládét vagy egy konzervet valamelyik őrnek vagy takarítónőnek és egy pár sort, hogy juttassák el dr. Szegőnek, hogy az értesítse a családját, hogy ő be van zárva. Soha egyik sem adta át a levelet. Egyszer dr. Szegő az utcán meglátott egy papírt, rajta a saját nevével, az egyik levél volt. Így értesítette a családot Kolozsváron, az édesanyám az apjával leutazott oda, és kihozták az apámat a börtönből.

A második világháborúkor egy csoda folytán az édesapám megmaradt, Auschwitzból elvitték Dachauba, ott szabadították fel az amerikai csapatok. Kiszabadulása után annyira le volt gyengülve, hogy bekerült egy amerikai katonai kórházba, és hat hónapig ott tartották. Csak azután engedték meg, hogy hazajöjjön. Rá vagy két-három évre behívták a Securitatéhoz azzal az ürüggyel, hogy a hat hónap alatt, ameddig a katonakórházban feküdt, az amerikaiak kiképezték kémnek. Szegény apám nap nap után, hat hétig majdnem minden nap kellett jelentkezzen a Securitatén újabb és újabb kihallgatásokra, azután békén hagyták. A sors iróniája, hogy miután hat hétig lelkileg valósággal kínozták, rá két hétre kinevezték a kolozsvári poliklinika igazgató-főorvosának. Az egyik hatóság nem tudott a másikról ezek szerint.

Édesanyám apja, Wertheimer Sámson zsidó volt. Felesége, Ida, bözödújfalusi, székely eredetű, szombatista vonalon [lásd: szombatosok]. Ida apja Farkas Gergely volt. Fiatalon halt meg Ida, 1902-ben. Az édesapja [az anyai nagyapa] Marosvásárhelyről Kolozsvárra került. Két fiútestvére, Vilmos és Miksa is Kolozsvárra került. Vilmos fűszerkereskedő volt, egy nagyon vallásos ember. A Széchenyi téren laktak, fenn az emeleten, lenn a földszinten volt az üzlet. Egy nagy üzlet volt, Kolozsvár egyik legnagyobb fűszerüzlete. Szombaton zárva volt, és vasárnap is, hivatalból. Ezek a zsidó üzletek, ahol tartották a vallást, azok két napot voltak zárva. Miksának volt egy szeszgyára. A kertes földszintes lakása egy kerítéssel volt elválasztva a gyártól. Ő volt a gyárnak a tulajdonosa, ő igazgatta a munkát. A szeszgyárból maradt nagyon sok moslék, úgyhogy neki volt egy istállója is, ahol volt hat-nyolc tehén, ami a szeszgyár maradékából lett fenntartva. Nagyapámnak egy en gros és en detail lisztüzlete volt a Deák Ferenc utcában. Itt élt a második feleségével, Hausmann Pepkával. Kizárólag csak lisztet árult. Lenn volt a bolt, különböző minőségű lisztekkel, fenn az emeleten pedig egy nagy lakás. Az édesanyám és Mina néni – az első házasságából lévő gyerekek – külön hálószobája mellett volt egy másik szoba, ott lakott a másik három gyerek – a második házasságából valók. Miután az édesanyám és Mina néni is elkerült a házból, az ő szobájukba költöztek be a gyerekek. Miután a nagyapám meghalt, ez a Pepka nagyanyám vezette tovább az üzletet. Nagyon ügyes, okos, talpraesett asszony volt.

Az édesanyám nővére, Mina néni, Ilondán élt, oda ment férjhez Jeremiás Ignáchoz. A férje családjában tizennyolcan voltak testvérek, Ignác szülei Dés mellett egy Kapjon nevezetű kis településen éltek, a tizennyolc testvér aztán szétszéledt a világban.

A másik három gyerek közül, Erzsébet (Böske néni) Tordára ment férjhez egy ügyvédhez. A férje meghalt még a háború előtt, ő pedig a háború, a deportálás után beköltözött Kolozsvárra, ahol a szülei éltek. Mert Tordán volt férjnél, így nem deportálták, mivel Torda Romániához tartozott abban az időben. [lásd: zsidók Észak-és Dél-Erdélyben] Volt egy fia, aki megházasodott és kiment Pestre.

Ilondán sokat éltem, egész 16-17 éves koromig minden vakációt ott töltöttem, életem legszebb emlékei. Lenn, a falu úgynevezett civilizáltabb részén körülbelül egyforma arányszámban laktak románok, magyarok és zsidók, a patak mentén felfele pedig román parasztházak voltak. Körülbelül 4-5 kilométer hosszú volt a falu. A központban téglaházak voltak. A falunak volt egy kis temploma, ahova körülbelül hetven-kilencven ember fért, tehát körülbelül huszonöt-harminc zsidó család lehetett, ugyanennyi magyar és valamivel kevesebb román. Az ilondaiak második szüleim voltak. A nagybátyám jómódú kereskedő volt, nagybani kereskedelemmel foglalkozott. Nagyilondán hetente egyszer, csütörtökön volt a heti vásár, s minden hónapban volt egy nagy vásár, akkor jöttek már a szomszéd megyéből is. A nagybátyám házának volt egy óriási udvara, ami deszka-, cserép- és téglaraktár volt. Olyankor a nagykapu nyitva volt, s a parasztok jöttek be szekérrel, vettek deszkát, cserepet, ami kellett nekik. Nagybátyámnak ez volt a foglalkozása. A faluban óriási presztízse volt, köztiszteletben állt.

Vallásos volt, megtartotta az ünnepeket, de olyan hangulatos légkört teremtett. Például amikor a Neufeld nagyapám péntek este nálunk vacsorázott Kolozsváron, volt egy kis ima, amit ő monoton hangon héberül elmondott, utána leültek vacsorázni. Ilondán nem így történt, énekelt a nagybátyám. Szép, fess ember, nagyon szép bariton hangja volt. Az imát énekeléssel mondta el, nekünk, gyerekeknek pedig vele kellett énekelnünk, közben pedig ránk szólt, hogy „Te falcsul énekelsz, hallgass inkább!”. Hangulatos, bohém ember volt. Foglalkozott a gyerekekkel. A sátoros ünnepen, amikor a dióérés van, a gyerekek dióztak, s beállt ő is közénk a játékba. Ez a játék abban állt, hogy a diószemeket felsorakoztatták egy sorban, és bizonyos távolságról a gyerekek egy-egy nagyobb, kerekebb, kevésbé ráncos dióval megcélozták ezt a sort, és ki amennyit leszakított, annyi diót nyert. Olyan természetes volt, hogy Náci bácsi nyakában mindig volt három-négy gyerek. A tizennyolc testvér harminchat gyereke közül tíz-tizenöt mindig Ilondán volt vakációkban.

Szombaton, kimenetelkor mi, gyerekek néztük az eget, és aki először vette észre a három csillagot, az berohant a házba. [A három csillag feljövetele jelentette a szombat kimenetelét. – A szerk.] Lett ott egy kis veszekedés, hogy „Nem te láttad meg, mert én láttam meg hamarabb”, de nem volt komoly veszekedés. A nagybátyám pedig jó hangulatot teremtett a gyerekek között, a végén kibékítette őket, és kaptak cukorkát vagy csokoládét. Mikor a gyerekek bejelentették, hogy megjelent a három csillag, mindig volt egy kis szertartás. Meggyújtottak egy lapos, színes fonott gyertyát, a nagybátyám elénekelt egy imát, és a meggyújtott gyertyával, énekelve végigjárta a házat kígyózó vonalakban, mi, gyerekek pedig felsorakozva mentünk a háta mögött. [A havdala szertartásáról van szó – ez a szertartás arra szolgál, hogy a szombatot elválassza a hétköznapoktól (áldást mondanak a borra, és elmondanak egy külön áldást is). – A szerk.] Ilyenkor is viccelt, például megfordult és nekiment a sornak, vagy ahogy ment, félbeszakította a sort.

Emlékszem két nagyon érdekes széderesti jelenetre. Hatalmas szobájuk volt, ahova terítettek, az asztalnál mindig ült hat-hét felnőtt és legalább tíz-tizenöt gyerek, ha nem több. Aki a szédert vezeti, annak a baloldalán kell legyen két párna. Előzőleg van egy ima, amit az én Neufeld nagyapám elmondott egy fél óra alatt, de a Náci bácsinál ez tartott két-három órát, mert énekelve, viccelődve mondta. A vacsora előtt egy pászkadarabot becsomagoltak egy szalvétába, a szalvétát ő betette a két párna közé, ezt héberül úgy hívták, hogy afikomen. A vacsora végén kellett egy kis imát mondani, ő elővette az áfikoment, és mindenkinek adott ebből a kettétört pászkadarabból. Azt egy kis ima, áldás keretében meg kellett enni. A nagyapámnál a széder másfél-két óra alatt lement, Náci bácsinál reggelig tartott. Hagyomány volt, hogy az áfikoment az egyik gyerek ellopta. Vacsora után Náci bácsi kereste, és akkor kezdődött az alkudozás, mert anélkül nem lehet folytatni a szédert. Amikor ellopták, a nagybátyám tette magát, hogy nem veszi észre. Az első gyerektől ellopta egy másik, attól egy harmadik, a negyedik csinált egy hamis áfikoment, ugyanolyan szalvétába becsomagolt egy ugyanolyan pászkát. Úgyhogy a végén négy vagy öt áfikomen volt, de a nagybátyám megjegyezte, hogy melyik az eredeti. Az alkudozás mind az öttel eltartott legalább egy órát, viccelődve, de a végén csak az egyik volt az igazi. A vacsora után van egy ima: megtöltenek egy poharat színültig borral, és kinyitják az ajtókat, hogy Élijáhú próféta bejöhessen és megkóstolja a bort és megint elmenjen. Egy kis áldást kellett erre mondani. Az egyik húsvétkor, erre tisztán emlékszem, lehettem olyan 9-10 éves, borzalmas eső volt kint, felhőszakadás, és amikor kinyitották az ajtókat, egyszer csak megállt az ajtóban egy bőrig ázott, csapzott, szakállas, kalapos ember. A nők elkezdtek visítozni, a gyerekek megijedtek. Egy zsidó vándor koldus volt. A nagybátyám rögtön rájött, hogy ki az az ember, felállt, odament hozzá, és jiddisül megkérdezte tőle, hogy zsidó vándor koldus-e. Odavitte az asztalhoz, hoztak neki is egy terítéket, száraz ruhát, leültették és velünk vacsorázott.

A két háború között elég sok zsidó vándor koldus volt. Máramarosban van egy Borsa nevezetű falu. Ez egy elég nagy kiterjedésű, tiszta zsidó falu volt. Száz százalékban csak zsidók lakták, ott egyetlen magyar vagy román nem élt. És nem tudnám pontosan megmondani melyik évben, de lehetett olyan 1934–1936 körül, a legionáriusok, a vasgárdisták felgyújtották. Egyszerre lobbant fel a tűz vagy tíz helyen. S azok a máramarosi házak mind faházak voltak. Úgyhogy a borsai zsidóság azzal az inggel és nadrággal maradt, amiben kifutottak az égő házból. És ezek aztán elárasztották Erdélyt koldulással. A legtöbbje az ilyen koldusembereknek borsai volt. Faluról falura jártak, minden faluban két-három napig ellátták őket, aztán mentek tovább. A nagybátyám minden pénteken este, mikor jött haza a templomból, hozott magával két-három koldust vacsorára. Az asztalnál ő ült az asztalfőn, körülötte ültek a felnőttek, s aztán jöttek a gyerekek az asztal második felében. Az egyik oldalon voltak a férfiak és a másik oldalon a nők. Ezeket a koldusokat mindig odaültette a férfiak közé. Szombaton csak az étkezést töltötték együtt, délelőtt a vándor zsidók elmentek a templomba. Mindig nagy tisztelettel beszélt velük Náci bácsi. Nem emlékszem rá, hogy nő koldus lett volna. Volt még egy háza a nagybátyámnak, egy kis falusi vendéglő, fölötte pedig egy kis szoba, ide helyezte a koldusokat, akiket hazahozott vacsorára péntek este. A vendéglőt kiadta használatba egy özvegy húgának vagy nővérének, Ibi néninek, akinek volt két lánya.

A nagybátyám jóban volt a faluban a csendőrökkel, a polgármesterrel, mindenkivel, mindenki tisztelte és becsülte. Zsidóknál nem szabad ünnepnapon utazni sem kocsival, sem szekérrel. Egyszer széder közben beállított egy ilondai zsidó, hogy a testvérét a szomszéd faluból a csendőrök letartóztatták, és kérte Náci bácsit, hogy próbálja meg ő kiváltani. Annak idején a csendőrség borzasztó korrupt volt, letartóztattak embereket csak azért, hogy pénzt csaljanak ki tőlük. A nagybátyám abbahagyta a szédert, és bejelentette, hogy sokkal nagyobb micvá, jócselekedet egy embert kivenni a csendőrök kezéből, mint a szédert folytatni, úgyhogy bocsássanak meg neki, egy óra múlva majd visszajön. Felült a szekérre, ami nem volt szabad, elment a szomszéd faluba, lefizette a csendőröket, kivette az embert, visszajött és folytatta a szédert, mintha mi sem történt volna.

Az édesanyám szülei nem engedték, hogy édesanyámék összeházasodjanak, mielőtt az édesapám le nem katonáskodik. Befejezte az egyetemet, lekatonáskodott s azután rögtön, 1913-ban házasodtak, és körülbelül fél évre rá apámat ismét behívták katonának. Amikor megszületettem, véletlenül éppen otthon volt szabadságon, utána megint kiment a frontra, és fogságba esett. Amikor hazakerült, akkor én már három éves voltam, és megkérdeztem, hogy „Ki ez az ember?”. Édesanyám nem járt mikvébe. Volt egy hálószobájuk két külön ággyal, de szorosan egymás mellett, akkor az volt a divat. Minden zsidó házban így volt. Fejkendőt csak akkor hordott, ha a templomba ment, parókát egyáltalán nem hordott. Gyermekkoromban, még emlékszem, kontyot hordott, aztán később levágatta a haját. Eltérően édesapámtól, ő közvetlenebb, beszédesebb, általában jó kedélyű volt. Háziasszony volt. Nagyon sok szociális, társadalmi munkában vett részt.

Kolozsváron volt egy zsidó árvaház vagy inkább napközi otthon körülbelül 150–200 gyerekkel. Valójában kevés volt köztük az árva, inkább szegénygyerekek voltak. Az édesanyám a nőegyletnek, amelyik fenntartotta a napközi otthont, volt az alelnöknője évekig. Még emlékszem, hogy amikor a kolozsvári zsidó kórházat felépítették és kezdték berendezni, akkor ott beállítottak vagy tíz-tizenkét szobába varrógépeket, és varrónők szabták és varrták a kórház részére a párnákat, párnahuzatokat, lepedőket. Édesanyám ott felügyelt, és adta ki a munkát nekik. Még ő szervezte meg a zsidó cionista női világszervezet kolozsvári fiókját, WIZO-nak hívták. Nagyon gyakran összejött Moshe Carmillyvel, [lásd: Moshe Weinberger-Carmilly] aki mint főrabbi szintén foglalkozott ezekkel a zsidó szervezetekkel. Az árvaházat a nőegylet tartotta fenn. Az anyagiakat adományokból biztosították. Labdaszerű [mint egy labdajáték, mindenkit bevonni akaró] teadélutánokat rendeztek, amelyeken kellett fizetni. Például édesanyám meghívta öt nőismerősét, és mindenki kellett fizessen egy előre meghatározott, nem komoly összeget, és egy-két órát beszélgettek. Az öt meghívott pedig köteles volt még öt-öt személyt hívni, akik szintén fizettek. Az volt az elv, hogy a következő öt meghívott sohase legyen olyan személy, akinél már voltak, hanem terjedjen ki az egész város zsidóságára. Csak a kimondottan nagyon szegény rétegeket hagyták ki, azokat segélyezték az összegyűlt pénzből. A férfiak hitközségi adót fizettek, nekik nem volt külön férfi szervezetük. Nagy része a nőknek nem járt olyan gyakran a zsinagógába, csak a kimondott ünnepnapokon, mint például az édesanyám is. Csak a nagyon vallásos nők jártak szombaton is.

Kolozsváron volt négy zsinagóga és tíz-tizenkét imaház. A kolozsvári zsidóság egy része szegény volt, ott kultúráról nem beszélhetünk. De a polgári rétegnél majdnem minden házban volt könyvtár, amit olvastak is, nemcsak dísznek volt. Jártak a színházba is. Ritkán játszottak jiddis darabokat. Voltak jiddis vándortársulatok. [lásd: jiddis vándortársulatok] Ritkán, egyszer-kétszer egy évben jöttek csak Kolozsvárra, egy-két-három előadást tartottak, és mentek tovább. Mindig telt ház volt. Amire emlékszem, hogy volt egy nagyon híres, holland eredetű nívós zsidó társulat, amelyik kis darabokat, vidám zenés, énekes burleszkjeleneteket adott elő. Kék Madár, Blauw Vogel volt a nevük. Nagyon-nagyon divatos, hangulatos éneket honosítottak meg akkoriban itt Kolozsváron. Voltak komoly kisjeleneteik is, nagyon komolyak – engem is mint gyereket elvittek, de nem sokat értettem a komoly részéből.

Én az első négy elemit egy zsidó elemibe jártam. A zsidó gimnáziumot 1927-ben tiltották be a román hatóságok, és a törvény az volt, hogy magyar iskolába zsidó gyerek nem járhatott, csak román iskolába. Ezután román iskolába kerültem, harmadik gimnáziumba. Majd bekerültem az úgynevezett Seminarul Pedagogic Universitarba, az egyetemnek egy gyakorló iskolájába. Egyedül voltam zsidó, huszonegyen voltunk, volt még egy magyar fiú s a többi román volt. Előkelő iskola volt, a román társadalom elit rétege ide járt.

Harmadéves medikus voltam, amikor 1936. december 25-én, megismerkedtem a feleségemmel. Ő elsőéves angol szakos volt. Raáb Ágnesnek hívták, aradi volt. A Szent Egyház utca elején jobbra, ahol most kiállítások szoktak lenni, ott régen volt egy táncos kávéházféle, Cristal Pallas volt a neve. Ott ismerkedtünk meg a feleségemmel, egy szombati táncdélutánon. A kávéház tulajdonosa zsidó volt, és szombat délután ott összegyűltünk, a zsidó diákoknak egy része. Mi, zsidó diákok is két óriási csoportban voltunk, akik majdnem ellenségei voltunk egymásnak. Volt a kommunista szimpatizáns csoport, s volt a cionista csoport. A kommunista csoportban volt vagy két-három ember, aki tényleg komolyan illegalista volt, a többi pedig csak ilyen szalonkommunista. A cionizmusnál komolyabb volt a dolog, Kolozsváron volt négy vagy öt cionista ifjúsági szervezet, különböző politikai színezettel. Volt a Hasomér Hacair, az egészen baloldali volt. Akkor volt a Hanoár Hacioni [lásd: Hanoár Hacioni Romániában] és a Barisia , az olyan polgári közép, és volt egy egészen jobboldali, a revizionista csoport [lásd: cionista revizionista irányzat]. És a kolozsvári zsidó ifjúságnak egy része, a cionista része, ebbe a négy különböző csoportba tartozott. Én egyikbe sem tartoztam. A cionisták tartottak gyűléseket, szemináriumokat, foglalkoztak a cionizmus történetével, és a politikai állásfoglalásuk alapján például a Hashomér Hácáir foglalkozott a baloldali irodalommal. Én cionistának tartottam magam, de csak egy olyan lelki közösség volt inkább, hogy Palesztina a mi hazánk, de én cionista irodalmat nem olvastam, egyéb irodalmat sem. Elvileg volt egy kitelepítési tendencia, de gyakorlatilag nem nagyon. Voltak ilyen chaluc-telepek – haluc az, aki ki akart vándorolni. Az beiratkozott egy ilyen haluc-telepre, odaköltözött és kitanulta a földművelést, s egy idő után kitelepítették Izraelbe [Akkor még: Palesztina. Izrael Állam 1948 májusában alakult meg. – A szerk.]. Kolozsvár környékén nem volt ilyen telep. A Regátban voltak és főleg Besszarábiában. Erdélyben nem tudom, hogy lettek volna.

A Haggibor Sportegyesületet 1922-ben alapították. Először csak futball csapat volt, aztán majdnem minden sportnak alakultak meg ágazatai. Volt atlétika tagozat, torna, boksz, vívás, futball, úszás, hegymászás, teniszezés és pingpong. Ezek komoly csoportok voltak. Például a futball csapat egyszer második helyet nyert az országos bajnokságon. A tagok mind zsidók voltak, de nem hiszem, hogy erre lett volna szabályzat, hanem ez így volt természetes. A magyaroknak is megvolt a KAC-uk, a Kolozsvári Atlétikai Egyesület, de ott is voltak zsidók.

Voltak olyan zsidó családok, amelyek teljesen elmagyarosodtak. Nem tagadták le a zsidó származásukat de teljesen elmagyarosodtak. Például, Bíró, a gyógyszerész volt a tulajdonosa a város legnagyobb gyógyszertárának. Három fia volt és mind a három Bíró fiú a KAC-ban vívott. Én a Haggiborban vívtam, de attól még barátok voltunk. Az elején, jóval a [II. világ]háború előtt, csak egy edző volt a városban, egy német, aki elmagyarosodott. Még a nevét is megmagyarosította Ozoraira. A Bíró testvérekkel és a KAC-osokkal edztünk, de az utolsó években volt már saját edzőnk is a Haggiborban, egy olasz edző. A zsidóknak kevés kapcsolatuk volt a románsággal. Kevesen voltak, akik csak egy sportágban aktiváltak. Én például, a hegymászó tagozat ifjúsági csoportjának voltam egyik vezetője. Én szerveztem meg a vasárnapi kirándulásokat. Ugyanakkor vívásban versenyeztem is.

Nekünk, medikusoknak megvolt otthon egy behívónk mozgósítás esetére már harmadéves korunktól anélkül, hogy az aktív katonaságot letettük volna. 1940-ben, a bécsi döntés előtt mozgósítás volt, be kellett vonuljak. Nagyvárad és Arad között, egy Horod nevezetű faluban volt az egységem, én minden szombaton és vasárnap átmentem Aradra Ágihoz. Amikor a bécsi döntés volt, véletlenül kaptam egy kéthetes szabadságot, s éppen itthon voltam, Kolozsváron, s akkor már nem mentem vissza. Mi nem fogtuk fel, hogy ez a bécsi döntés tulajdonképpen minket elválaszt egy határral. Úgy volt, hogy ősszel bevonulok katonának, kilenc hónap a katonaság, és utána összeházasodunk. És akkor tudtuk meg, hogy Magyarországon létezett egy zsidótörvény [lásd: zsidótörvények Magyarországon], amelynek értelmében házasság útján zsidó nem jöhetett át Magyarországra – Kolozsvár magyar fennhatóság alá került ismét –, tehát nem tudtunk összeházasodni. Még a levelezés is nagyon nehezen ment, mert dacára annak, hogy mind a két ország Németország mellett volt a háborúban, a két ország között borzasztó feszült volt a viszony. Öt levél közül négy elveszett, cenzúra volt, s a legkisebb gyanú miatt eldobták a levelet. Néha valószínűleg el sem olvasták, pedig vigyáztunk arra, hogy semmi olyasmit ne írjunk, amibe a cenzúra beleköt, még levélileg is alig tudtunk érintkezni egymással két évig. A határ a Kolozsvár–[Nagy]Várad országúttól délre, négy-öt kilométerre volt. A Feleki tetőnek a fele már Románia volt. Mi a Bükkbe már nem tudtunk menni kirándulni, mert az már határzóna volt. Itt volt a határ közvetlenül Kolozsvár mellett. Szóval alig tudtunk még levelezni is egymással. 1942-ben elvittek engem Ukrajnába, és akkor még édesanyám tartotta vele a kapcsolatot, vagy négy-öt levelet váltottak.

[Neufeld György papírra vetette munkaszolgálatos emlékeit, ennek egy töredéke így hangzik:]

 „1942 januárjában, mikor összeállították a 110/24-es zsidó munkaszolgálatos századot, odakerült egy 18-19 éves, kerek arcú, pájeszes gyerek, jiddisül beszélt, magyarul, románul keveset tudott. Máramarosi volt. Tiltakozott, hogy a pájeszét levágják, mikor megnyírtak minket, de aztán némán, összeszorított szájjal tűrte. Nem beszélt, csak ha kérdezték, némán végezte a kiadott munkát, minden reggel korábban kelt, és később feküdt le, mint a többi, bármennyire is kimerült volt, hogy elmondja a reggeli és az esti imát. És csak kósert evett, legtöbbször csak a szűk kenyéradagot és a konyháról könyörületben kapott, alkalmi tűzön sült krumplit. Már az első napokban ráragasztották a Rabbi nevet. Kevesen tudták az igazi nevét. A keretlegénység (az őrök), körülbelül tizenkét-tizennégy magyar katona is így szólította, természetesen gúnyos hangnemben. A században voltak, akik tisztelték, de nagyon kevesen, sokan bolondnak tartották, és voltak közömbösek is. És voltak, akik segítették, hogy megmentsen a többszöri kutatáson és motozáson egy imakönyvet. Szeptemberben már mélyen bent Ukrajnában a Rabbi nagyon lesoványodva nagy propagandába kezdett, hogy minjent, tíz embert szedjen össze a közeledő őszi ünnepekre. Nem sok jelentkezője akadt, hiszen mindenki mindig kimerült, éhes volt. Mégis sikerült neki majdnem a század felét összeverbuválni a Kol Nidréhez, a zsidók legszentebb imájához, a szállásunk, az istálló előtti udvarra. De aznap elhúzódott a munka, és mire a csoport összegyűlt, besötétedett. A mindennapi esti imát tudta a Rabbi kívülről, de a kol nidréhez kellett volna gyertya, hogy elolvassa. És gyertya nem volt, sem más világító eszköz. Már-már úgy nézett ki, hogy az ima elmarad, az emberek kezdtek visszavándorolni az istállóba, a szálláshelyünkre. A csendet azonban hatalmas robbanás verte fel. Repülőn bombázták a tőlünk 40–50 kilométerre lévő német benzintartályokat. És azok sorban robbantak. A lángok az égig csaptak fel, az égbolt nappali fényben úszott. A lángtenger keleti szélén egy lángcsóva különlegesen magas és karcsú volt, mint egy jom kipuri, hosszúnapi gyertya. Az istállóból a századunk minden tagja – akkor még majdnem mindenki élt – kicsődült a térre. A keretlegénység a kerítésen túlról, némán, megdöbbenve nézett minket. S akkor a robbanásoktól megszakított halálos csendben felcsendült a rabbi kristálytiszta hangja, a kol nidré, a zsidók legszentebb imája. Nem az ismert halk, félénk, remegő hang, hanem egy erőteljes, acélos, magabiztos hang volt. Imádkozott. Minden szó után szünetet tartott, hogy a század, mint egy ember, imádkozhasson utána. Senki sem mozdult el az ima végéig. Ettől kezdve a Rabbi presztízse megnőtt. A nevét tisztelettel kezdték kiejteni, a keretlegényekre is ráragadt az új hangsúly. A konyhások titokban bőséges kóser ételt juttattak neki, az orvosok könnyebb munkára osztották be, mások segítettek neki a munkában, a keret is kíméletesebb lett vele szemben. Kis csoport alakult ki körülötte, reggeli és esti imáknál. És a Rabbi kimozdult hallgatásából, napról napra beszédesebb lett, ápolta a betegeket, ételt adott a nagyon leromlottaknak. Bátorította az elkeseredetteket, lelket öntött a lelki betegekbe, és imádkozott sokat, sokat. 1943 tavaszán halt meg flekktífuszban. Ugyanúgy temettük el, mint az előtte elhaltakat, rongyokba burkolva, koporsó nélkül, az útszélen, a mezőn, fejjel keletnek, nem mély, jeltelen sírban. A különbség csak az volt, hogy a kádist, a halotti imát, más mondta el, nem ő. Az erősen megtizedelt századunkat összevonták más hasonló lecsökkent számú századdal. A Rabbiról mindenki megfeledkezett, valódi nevét ma már senki sem ismeri, sem azt, hogy hol van eltemetve.”

1944-ben a szüleimet is deportálták. A háború végén Ági rögtön eljött érdeklődni Kolozsvárra, hogy mi van velem. Édesapám még nem volt itthon, édesanyám sem volt itthon, senki rólam nem tudott semmit. Dacára annak, hogy minden hónapban írhattunk egy lapot Ukrajnából, egyetlenegy lap nem érkezett meg. Hivatalosan érdeklődött a hatóságoknál utánam, és eltűntnek voltam nyilvánítva. Én aztán átszöktem az oroszokhoz, onnan is írhattunk minden hónapban egy lapot, azok közül sem jött meg egyetlenegy sem. Ági hazament Aradra azzal, hogy és eltűntem, nem létezem. A háborúnak vége volt, életjelt tőlem nem kapott. Ő akkor már 25 éves volt, tanított egy iskolában, udvarolgatott neki egy kollégája, egy számtantanár, s egy elkeseredett pillanatában igent mondott és összeházasodtak. Lementek Bukarestbe, mert a fiú bukaresti volt, mindketten azonnal kaptak állást.

1946 szeptemberében én hazaérkeztem Kolozsvárra, az oroszok hazaengedtek. Rajtam volt egy rongyos német katonai ruha és egy lyukas bakancs. Még az állomáson találkoztam egy ismerősömmel, aki annyit mondott nekem, hogy „Édesapád itthon van, a régi lakásban lakik”. Úgyhogy én a régi lakásba felmentem, apám éppen akkor nem volt otthon, egy régi cselédünk, akit nem tudom, honnét, apám visszakerített, az fogadott engem. 1 óra körül hazajött édesapám, egymás nyakába borultunk, sírtunk mind a ketten. Úgy egyszerre esett minden a fejemre 24 óra alatt: hogy nincs meg édesanyám, hogy nincsenek meg az ilondaiak, nincsen meg a két legjobb barátom, nincsenek meg édesapámnak a testvérei, nincsenek meg édesanyámnak a testvérei, nincsenek meg a távolabbi rokonaim, a távolabbi barátaim. Akkor kérdem apámtól, hogy Ágiról tud-e valamit. Én akkor nem vettem észre, aztán utólag, ahogy visszagondoltam, apám egy kicsit zavarba került. Feltételezem – soha nem beszéltünk erről –, hogy tudta, hogy férjhez ment, de akkor nem akarta nekem megmondani. Apám azelőtt nemrég került haza, a szó szoros értelmében nem volt mit együnk. Apámnak akkor még nem volt állása. Délben még nem tudtuk, hogy mit fogunk vacsorázni, vagy fogunk-e ma egyáltalán vacsorázni. Azt hiszem, a hitközségtől kaphatott apám valami támogatást, és hát abból éltünk. Másnap délelőtt találkozom Ági volt lakótársával, Katival. Összeölelkezünk, majd: „Mit tudsz Ágiról?” Ő is egy kicsit zavarba jött. „Férjhez ment.” Abban a pillanatban én nem fogtam fel a dolgot, akkor tudtam meg, hogy anyám nincs meg, hogy a lakásunk teljesen ki volt rabolva, egy rongyos díványon aludt apám, akkor kerítettünk még egy díványt ágynemű nélkül. S akkor elgondolkoztam: „Hogy lehet, hogy Ágnes férjhez ment? Mi történt? Hogy történhetett?” Megtudtam a címét, és hogy pillanatnyilag otthon van a szüleinél, Aradon még egy pár napot, mert vakáció volt, és Bukarestben él a férjével, s ott van katedrája. Hát mégsem lehet, hogy én ne jelentkezzem be Áginál. Hat éve nem találkoztunk, négy éve még levelet sem kapott tőlem, két éve még hírem sincs. Apámtól tudtam aztán meg, hogy én eltűntnek voltam nyilvánítva. Hat év távlatából neki egy emlék maradtam. Leültem levelet írni neki. Öt levelet eltéptem, a hatodikat elküldtem – egy nagyjából semmitmondó levelet. [Hónapokba telt, míg a helyzet tisztázódott. Ágnes békében elvált a férjétől, és feleségül ment Neufeld Györgyhöz.]

A Metropol kávéház fölött laktunk, az első emeleten, az volt a régi lakásunk. A kávéház közvetlenül a nagy Szamos híd mellett, a mostani Horea út elején volt. A háború előtt főleg zsidók jártak oda. A kávéház a háború után megszűnt, egy textilvállalatnak lett ott a raktára. A fölötte lévő bérháznak volt egy belső udvara, és körben volt egy gang. A lakás négyszobás volt, nagy hallal. Volt még egy kis szoba, [a második világháború előtt] a polgári házaknál volt segítség, egy cseléd, és ennek volt a szobája. Már a szüleimmel is abban a lakásban laktam, az egyik szoba a szüleim hálószobája volt, a másik az én szobám, a harmadik az édesapám rendelője, ő is orvos volt, a negyedik a nappali volt. A hall volt a várószoba. A második világháborúban feldúlták a lakást. A szüleimet deportálták, édesapám csodálatos módon túlélte. Nagyon betegen került haza, és idegeneket talált a lakásban. A háború alatt az üresen maradt lakásokat a városháza kiosztotta idegeneknek. Apám visszakapott a lakásból két szobát, erről nem tudok részleteket, hogy hogyan, mert nem szívesen beszélt ezekről a dolgokról, úgyhogy nem faggattam. A másik két szobában idegenek laktak. Én rá vagy két évre kerültem haza az orosz fogságból. Akkor nagy nehezen még visszaszereztünk egy szobát. Nemsokára rá megházasodtam. Az egyik szobában maradtak az idegenek, állandóan cserélődtek a lakók. Romániában mindig lehetett protekciót keríteni és elintézni dolgokat, úgyhogy valamennyire irányíthattuk, hogy ki költözzön be a negyedik szobába. Így odakerült egy kollégám a feleségével. Nagyon jóban voltunk, dacára annak, hogy közös volt a konyha és az előszoba, mert rendszerint az ilyen közös lakásokban kutya-macska barátság volt, de mi jól kijöttünk velük. Mégis sok komplikáció volt a lakás körül. [Időközben meghalt Neufeld György apja, és] amikor megszületett a nagyobbik gyerekünk, beköltöztek Kolozsvárra a feleségem szülei Aradról a harmadik szobába. Amikor meghaltak apósomék, és mi is csak hárman maradtunk a családban – a nagyobbik fiam ott halt meg, abban a lakásban –, a kisebbik fiam elkerült Bukarestbe az egyetemre, akkor átadtunk önként még egy szobát ennek a házaspárnak. Kb. 30 éve költöztünk el abból a lakásból.

Mind a két gyerekünk tökéletesen tudta, hogy zsidók vagyunk, hogy ők zsidók. Akkoriban mind a ketten a tanügyben voltunk, a feleségem tanárnő volt az Apáczai Csere János iskolában, én pedig adjunktus a röntgenklinikán. Ha a legkisebb vallási momentum rólunk kiderül, mind a kettőnket kirúgnak a tanügyből. A gyerekeket viszont, a két gyerek között hat év korkülönbség volt, nem akartuk úgy nevelni, hogy kétszínűek legyenek, hogy az iskolában adják a nagy pionírt, itthon pedig kapjanak egy zsidó nevelést. Nem akartam hazugságokra nevelni. Nem akartam, hogy például a gyerekeknek eljárjon a szájuk az iskolában, hogy ünnepnapokon voltunk a templomban. Viszont azt sem akartam, hogy menjünk a templomba, s majd rájuk parancsoljak: „Nehogy ezt megmondd az iskolában!” A háború után majdnem teljesen megszűnt a vallási élet. Olyan formai lett, mint amilyen mostan, dacára annak, hogy akkor még voltunk vagy ezerötszázan-ezerhatszázan. Így nagyon-nagyon elhalványultak ezek a vallási dolgok, de nagyon tudatosítottuk mind a két gyerekben, hogy ők zsidók. De nem metéltük körül őket [lásd: körülmetélés], mert azt is felügyelték akkor a kórházakban. Bár micvát sem tartottunk, mert ha megtudták volna, kirúgják Ágit is, és kirúgnak engem is az állásunkból.

A gyerekekkel nagyon jó volt a kapcsolatunk. Két teljesen ellentétes típusú gyerek volt. Közös vonásuk csak annyi, hogy mind a kettő jó matematikus volt, és nagyon jó volt a zenei érzékük. A nagyobbik fiam, Andris borzasztó verekedős volt. Tisztelték egyrészt azért, mert nagyon erős, másrészt, mert nagyon okos gyerek volt. Mindig segített a gyengébbeknek, szerették az osztálytársai. Egyszer összeverve érkezett haza, s mikor kérdem, mi van, mondja, hívatnak az iskolába, és hogy egy osztálytársa azt mondta neki, hogy „Jidan puturos!” [Büdös zsidó (román)]. Nem szólok semmit, másnap bemegyek az iskolába, az osztályfőnöke kicsit zavarba jön, s mondja nekem – persze románul: „Kérem szépen, én nagyon kínos helyzetben vagyok, Andris összeverekedett az egyik fiúval, akinek az apja szekuritátés őrnagy [lásd: Securitate]. A fiam annyira összeverte, annyira vérzett az orra a fiúnak, hogy a mentőket ki kellett hívni, és ez a szekuritátés őrnagy  egy nagy cirkuszt csapott, és Andrist ki kell zárjuk az iskolából.” Én egy kicsit gondolkozom, hogy mit mondjak neki, s akkor ő megszólal, hogy „Esetleg kéne, ön találkozzon a gyerek apjával, az őrnaggyal, itt nálam és próbáljanak megbékülni.” „Nekem nincs mit tárgyalni a gyerek apjával. Andris összeverte, a törvények szerint járjanak el, de volna egy kérdésem.” „Tessék!” „Nem tudja, hogy miért verekedtek össze?” „Nem, nem, hát olyan súlyosan össze volt verve, hogy eszünkbe sem jutott, hogy kutassuk, hogy mi volt a verekedés oka. Rendszerint valami gyerekség szokott lenni.” Mondom: „Hát nem éppen gyerekség. Hallgasson ide: az én szüleimet deportálták azért, mert zsidók voltak, az én barátaimat deportálták, mert zsidók voltak, engem elvittek munkaszolgálatra, mert zsidó vagyok. A verekedés azért történt, mert ez a fiú azt mondta az én fiamnak, hogy jidan puturos, büdös zsidó. Nekiment annak a fiúnak, és nekem nincs erkölcsi jogom, nincs morális jogom, hogy ezért az én fiamat megbüntessem. Büntessék meg az iskola és az ország törvényei szerint, én az én fiamat még le sem hordhatom ezért.” Az ajkába harapott, azt mondja nekem, hogy ő ezt nem tudta, ki kell vizsgálják a dolgokat, természetesen meg kell kérdezzék a gyerekeket, és meg kell beszélni. Kéri, hogy holnapután menjek be megint hozzá, addig ő felveszi a kapcsolatot. Azt mondom neki: „Én nem jövök be. Nincs miért bejöjjek. Ez történt, az én álláspontom ez, a dolgok folynak tovább.” A dolog elsimult, semmi nem történt, azt a gyereket a következő évben elvitték az iskolából. Nem tudom, hogy miért, én sosem érdeklődtem. Nemsokára rá, 16 évesen meghalt Andris [betegségben].

A Gabi fiam pont az ellenkezője volt. Gabiban nagyon komoly zsidó érzés volt, amit én beleneveltem. Nem vallási dolgok, hanem hogy ő kell vállalja a zsidóságát. Elvégezte a politechnikát [Politechnikai Egyetem] Bukarestben, soha nem panaszkodott arra, hogy hátrányba került volna azért, mert ő zsidó. Aztán a fiam kiment Izraelbe, Haifán dolgozott. Miután elvégezte a nyelvkurzust, behívták egy négy hónapos kiképzésre. Azzal nem volt semmi baj. Ő előzőleg, még az egyetem előtt itt, Kolozsváron volt katona. Akkoriban az egyetem előtt volt a katonaság. Izraelben kellett válasszon, hogy milyen pótkiképzést kapjon: egészségügyit vagy utászt, ő az előbbit választotta. Kapott egy egy hónapos egészségügyi kiképzést, s aztán visszakerült a munkahelyére, egy gyárban dolgozott. Viszont ott 45 éves korig minden évben minden férfit behívnak hat hétre. És az ő egysége valahogy a lakóhelyéhez közel került. Emlékszem, egyszer akkor voltunk Izraelben a feleségemmel, amikor ő éppen ezt a hathetes időt töltötte le, minden este kiborulva, idegesen került haza, pedig ő nagyon-nagyon nyugodt természetű. Azt mondja: „Parancsot kapok, hogy egy arab házba, ahol történt valami merénylet zsidók ellen, menjek be keresni a terroristákat. Berúgom az ajtót, látok egy személyt, lövök. Az a személy lehet egy nő, és lehet egy gyerek. Nekem nincs annyi időm, hogy megnézzem, ki az, hogy egy nő-e vagy egy gyerek. Lehet, hogy egy terrorista. Ha nem lövök, ők lőnek le engem. Hát ez nekem nem kell!” Annyira tönkrement az alatt a hat hét alatt, amíg én ott voltam, hogy alig bírtam bele lelket verni. Nem maradt Izraelben, Kanadába költözött, most Torontóban él.

1952-ben itt volt egy nagy kivándorlási láz, [lásd: kivándorlási hullám Romániából a II. világháború után] amit a román kormány nemcsak hogy engedélyezett, és kapott sok pénzt Izraeltől ezért, de meg akart szabadulni a zsidóktól, úgyhogy az ország zsidóinak legnagyobb része kiment. Aki nem ment ki, mindegyiknek volt valami komoly oka, mint ahogy nekünk is. A háború után valahogy az antiszemitizmus egy kicsit elaludt. Eleinte hittünk a kommunizmusban. Amikor fogságba kerültem az oroszokhoz, abban a lágerben volt egy komoly ideológiai könyvtár: Marx, Lenin, Sztálin, Majakovszkij, Gorkij, nemcsak orosz, de magyar, román, francia, angol és német nyelven. Én délelőtt dolgoztam mint orvos, és a délutánjaim és az estéim szabadok voltak, hát olvastam. Annál szebb, mint a kommunista ideológia, nincs a világon. Testvériség, egyenlőség, hát mi van ennél szebb? Amikor engem elvittek, nem értettem a politikához, engem nem érdekelt. De a lágerben unatkoztam délután, és elkezdtem olvasni. Két év után, amikor hazakerültem, én egy meggyőződéses kommunista voltam. Meg voltam győződve, hogy a világ sorsa ez kell legyen, és ez a legjobb a világon. És nekem kellett két-három év, amíg felébredtem a valóságra, hogy ez, amit én ott magamba szedtem, ez egy álom volt, és pont az ellenkezője az igaz. Ugyanez volt a feleségemmel is. Ő is bekerült Aradon egy szalonkommunista társaságba, és ő is meggyőződéses kommunista volt. Hogy teljesen kinyíljon a szemünk, kellett öt-hat év, de két-három év után kezdtünk már gondolkozni a dolgok felett.

Kolozsváron egy feliratkozási láz volt, és mindenki minden további nélkül megkapta az engedélyt, de voltak, akiknek eltelt egy-két év, míg megkapták. A háború alatt a mi lakásunkat teljesen kifosztották, nem volt meg az orvosi diplomám. Próbáltam utánajárni, hogy kapjak egy másolatot. Leutaztam vagy kétszer-háromszor Bukarestbe a minisztériumba, képtelen voltam kapni egy igazolást arról, hogy orvos vagyok. 1957-ben nagy nehezen kaptam egy másolatot, addig a legkisebb igazolás nélkül dolgoztam, és közben letettem a szakvizsgát, a főorvosi vizsgát, de nem volt diplomám. Hát hol hiszik el nekem, ha kimegyek, hogy orvos vagyok, diploma nélkül? Ez volt az egyik komoly ok. A második ok, hogy a feleségemnek angol katedrája volt Kolozsvár egyik legelitebb iskolájában, a volt Református Leánygimnáziumban, a mostani Apáczai Csere János líceum volt az. A harmadik, hogy én voltam a legfiatalabb adjunktus a kolozsvári egyetemen, és fölöttem előadó tanár nem volt, csak egy, aki úgy nézett ki, hogy négy-öt éven belül nyugdíjba megy, és engem neveznek ki előadó tanárnak. Ha feliratkozunk, 24 órán belül kirúgják a feleségemet és engem is. Két gyerek van, akit el kell tartsunk, az apósom és az anyósom Aradról hozzánk költözött, őket is el kellett tartsuk, az anyósom nem dolgozott, nem volt nyugdíja, az apósomnak a nyugdíja cigarettára volt elég. Ha kirúgnak, a szó szoros értelmében éhen halunk mind a hatan. Ezeket, akik ilyen pozícióban voltak, mint a feleségem és én, ezeket megkínozták olyan értelemben, hogy nem adták meg az útlevelet. Kihelyeztek volna, mint egy barátomat, aki most Kanadában van. Asszisztens volt, feliratkozott, s egy hétre rá kinevezték Bánffyhunyadra és navétáznia [ingáznia] kellett minden nap Kolozsvár és Bánffyhunyad között. Volt még egy probléma közöttünk. A feleségemnek élt egy nővére Amerikában, pontosabban Kubában, és Kubából, amelyik szintén kommunista lett Fidel Castro alatt (mind a ketten orvosok voltak, volt egy kislányuk), egy bőrönddel átmenekültek az Egyesült Államokba. Tehát ők is ott kezdő emberek voltak. Természetesen nálunk is felmerült a kérdés. A feleségem mindenképpen Amerikába akart menni, hogy együtt legyen a nővérével, én pedig, ha megyünk, csak Izraelbe, ahol vannak barátaim. Akkor nem megyünk, ezen nem fogunk összeveszni, itt maradunk. És így maradtunk itt.

Gyönyörű házasságunk volt, soha hangos szó közöttünk nem volt. 1997-ben, hirtelen halt meg a feleségem. Készültünk kimenni sétálni, kiment a konyhába, és egyszer csak hallok egy esést. Állva halt meg. A ruháit átadtam a hitközségnek, hogy osszák szét a szegények között.

Én nem azt mondom, hogy ateista vagyok, de már a foglalkozásomnál fogva is – én röntgenorvos vagyok –, ami azon a röntgenképen látszik, az van, ami nem látszik, az nincs, itt nincs mese. Nagyon pragmatikus a gondolkodásmódom. Én nem azt mondom, hogy nincs Isten, de nem hiszek egy Istenben, és azt sem fogom állítani senkinek, hogy nincs Isten. Nem tudom szavakba foglalni. Mára a kóser háztartást nem tudtam megtartani. Annyiban tudtam megtartani, hogy ebédelni a zsidó kantinba járok a Párizs utcába, ahol kóser ételeket szolgálnak fel a hitközség tagjainak. Akinek kicsi a nyugdíja, annak kevesebbet kell fizetnie az ebédért, mint annak, aki jól áll anyagilag. Izraelből vagy más földrészről érkező vallásos zsidók is rendszerint itt étkeznek.

Pavle Sosberger

Pavle Sosberger
Novi Sad
Serbia
Interviewer: Dina Sosberger
Date of the interview: March 2003

Pavle Sosberger is a retired building contractor, but his whole life he worked on collecting information about Jews and their life in Vojvodina, a place where he spent most of his days. During WWII and troubling times it brought to everyone, he lost many members of his family. After the war Pavle realized that if he wanted to save the memory and legacy of everyone he lost, it was going to be a hard work. So, for many years he collected information about his family and is still, to this day, trying to find new date. It is his legacy to his son, grandchildren and great grandson.

He lives with his wife Agneza in her family flat in center of town. This part of the town used to be inhabited mainly with Jews but today it is the area where are situated main shops and cafés. We are sitting in their living room, which is full of Jewish ornaments, some of them belonged to his family and were found after Second World War.

Schosberger family comes from Sharvar or Schlossberg [today Sastinske Straze, Slovakia]. We came to this region in XVII century after the notorious law of Carl the III ‘Familietatengesetz’ from 1726 1. Our family is the ninth generation that has lived in Novi Sad, including my great-grandson Filip.

The first information about my family is about my great-great-grandfather Avram Schosberger who was born in 1779 in Racko Selo [today Novi Sad]. I don’t know the names of his parents but I believe that they lived in Novi Sad too. In the census from 1808 Avram is registered as a small trader (Latin – sacarisus) this is how they called peddlers at that time. Avram’s wife was Fanny Feith from Bugyi [Hungary]. It is interesting that there were marriages between these families (Schosberger and Feith) for four generations. The children of Avram and Fanny are Moritz, Natan, Lazar and Cili.

During the bombing of Novi Sad on June, 12. 1849 2, a bomb shell hit the building in which Avram lived and killed him. Since there were no conditions to bury Avram in the cemetery his family put him in trough for washing laundry and buried him in a shed for firewood. Then my great-great-grandmother Fanny flees with her family to her parents in Bugyi, and stays for about a year. After the family returned to Novi Sad the late Avram was exhumed and buried in the Jewish cemetery in Novi Sad. There is a pitcher on his tombstone as a symbol of belonging to the Leviticus tribe.

My great-grandfather, from my father’s side, was called Schosberger Moritz (Mor, Mozes-Leb). He was born in 1822 (according to some other documentation he was born in 1828) in Novi Sad. After the death of his father (Avram), Moritz leaves for Bugyi, he stayed there for three years. Soon after his arrival to Bugyi he had met Rozalija Feith, who he married in May 1850. Upon his return to Novi Sad, Moritz was a trader and according to tax books from 1875-1880 I found out that he had been paying taxes and surtaxes. He died in Novi Sad on November 10, 1896 and was buried in the Jewish cemetery in Novi Sad.

There is documentation that Rozalija Schosberger has borne a legitimate child, however, the name of the child was not listed but most likely her name was Rozalija, since she had been born in Bugyi in 1853. Their children are Regina, Rozalija (it is interesting that the daughter has the same name as her mother, that is not a custom for Jews) Adolf, Filip, Leopold, Flora and Gizela. They also had two stillborn children (1868 and 1869).

Moritz was active in Jewish circles that is in organizations. He was in the management of Chevra Kadisha from 1885-1888 when his name emerged among officials. I don’t know how religious they were, Novi Sad was never that religious as some other places were, for example Backo Petrovo Selo or Backi Petrovac [located in Vojvodina, Serbia]; they were very religious places in this region. However they went to synagogues, they had their own places to sit and I believe that all Jewish holidays were marked. Their dressing was like at all others in Novi Sad, I know that my great-grandfather had beard but not side-curls.

Moritz had a brother Natan (about whom I only have more information), Lazar born in 1830 and a sister Cili, born in 1837.

My great-grandmother Rozalija Feith was born in 1829 in Bugyi. About her parents I don’t have much information, except that her father was called Jozef Feith and that he was born around 1804. During a visit to his daughter Jozef had got sick; he had pneumonia and died in Novi Sad in 1874. He was then around 70. Rozalija died on March 11, 1904 in Novi Sad too. She had brothers, about whom I know very little. They lived in Bugyi. Filip was the eldest, born in 1831, Ignac was born in 1834, Markus in 1840 and Aron, the youngest brother, in 1844.

My Grandfather’s brother (from father’s side) Filip Schosberger was born in Novi Sad in 1859. He was handicapped, that is one of his legs was shorter; I remember he had a small stilt on his shoe. For this reason he enyojed grandfather Adlof’s protection and later on the support of the whole family. He learned for goldsmith’s and watchmaker’s trade. He lived and worked at number 5 Gajeva Street which is in center of the town, where mainly Jews were inhabited. This flat had four rooms, one of these rooms he used as working place where he was repairing clocks. He married in 1885 Janka Keler. Janka came from Conoplja [Serbia]. She was sickly by nature. They got a son Manojlo in 1905. Unfortunately Janka died early, in 1919; she was buried in the Jewish cemetery in Novi Sad. Filip remarried Regina Kon (who we called Aunt Fani). Fani was deported in 1944 to Auschwitz and didn’t return.

Manojlo (Kis Marci) completed gymnasium and joined ’Adolf  Schosberger’ company. He was conscientious and a good young man. He was active in ’Juda Maccabi’ 3 sports club where he became a general secretary. In 1937 he married Blanka Holender (born in 1915). Blanka was the daughter of Moric Holender, a veterinarian.  A year later they got a daughter Judit.  During the raid on January 23, 1942 they were all killed, except mama Holender. Mama Holender had been present at my wedding; later on she moved to her brother in America, where she died.

My grandfather from my father’s side was called Adolf Schosberger; he was born in 1855 in Backa Palanka [located in Vojvodina, Serbia]. It is not clear to me why he was born there, probably in the days after the bombing the life was difficult in Novi Sad, so the family had left to this nearby place for a short time and then returned again to Novi Sad.

Grandfather Adolf married Gizela Feith from Bugyi around 1880; it was the third generation of young men from Schosberger family that married girls from Feith family. They lived at number 28 Futoska Street, across the synagogue [today Jewish street, in the center of Novi Sad]. It was the house of Dr. Rudolf Grubi, he was very known Jewish doctor in Novi Sad. His house was a two-story house; he lived at first flour and we occupied the whole ground level on the right side, facing the street. We had plenty of rooms, I think 4 or 5. There was no bathroom; at that time Novi Sad did not have a water-supply, but there in the bedroom existed a kind of closet with a marble tile. On that tile there was a washbowl from porcelain with pitcher, and there we washed ourselves in the morning; the toilet was in the hall but it was a toilet without running water. There were servants in the house, there was a woman who was helping my grandmother and there were servants who worked in the warehouses of my grandfather’s company. It is interesting that, although the mother tongue of my grandfather and my grandmother was Hungarian, all business books were kept in German, I don’t know why but it was like this. But the spoken languages of people here were Serbian and Hungarian.

Grandfather Adolf like his ancestors was a businessman, but had started as an accountant.  As alleged, he had his own office in 1896 on the Vilson’s square [today, at the main post office], and in 1904 he founded his store that was called ‘Adolf Sosberger Agency and Commission Store’. The company was located for a long time at number 28 Futoska Street; where they lived as well. As the children were finishing schools they would go to work at their father’s company. Besides having his own store, Grandfather Adolf was also a partner in Goldsmith’s and watchmaker store of his brother Filip and his brother-in-law Samuil Kraus (his sister’s, Gizela, husband).

Father’s mother, Gizela, was a quiet woman. She was born in Bugyi in 1868; her father was called Filip and her mother Pepi. After she had got married she came to live in Novi Sad. Here she wasn’t employed but was a housewife and she took care of the house. I didn’t know her brothers and sisters. Grandfather and grandmother had three sons Josip, Eugen and Martin and a daughter Paula. Grandmother Gizela and her daughter Paula were deported to Auschwitz on April 26, 1944; from where they didn’t return.

On May 15, 1924 when the company worked in full swing grandfather entered his office while his employees were moving cabinets with archives. He wanted to help them to move a cabinet, as he started doing that so he dropped down dead on the floor. He was buried in the Jewish cemetery in Novi Sad in the family crypt. I was the only grandson at the funeral; then I was 4. I remember being taken by an employee from the company. He took me to the funeral with his coach. The funeral procession started from our house, there was a coach with a horse, the rabbi walked to the cemetery; to the same Jewish cemetery of these days. It is interesting that Aunt Paula’s second husband, Jakob Hohberg who was in fact Kohen and since Kohens are not allowed to go to the cemeteries, part of the fence was brought down near the crypt so he observed the funeral through that hole.

After grandfather Adolf died his brothers took over the management of the company that was still on the same location. The company moved into the new building only in 1927 and it was on Karadzic Street. The house is still owned by the family today. There were new offices, a warehouse and also apartments. My grandmother Gizela lived there till she died.

In Chevra Kadisha Adolf’s name appears in 1891 as a member of the board of directors, and in the Jewish community he had been active from 1907 till his death. He last holds the position of the director of religion and the synagogue affairs. In 1923 he had to negotiate with cantor Bernard Griner from Szekesfehervar [Hungary] to ask him to come to Novi Sad and become the chief cantor. As my grandfather died suddenly in 1924 his successor didn’t succeed to bring cantor Griner to Novi Sad, who then leaves for Zagreb. It is interesting that cantor Griner’s granddaughter Mirjam married my son Josip and moved to Novi Sad in 1973. There is an inscription above the middle entrance into today’s synagogue in Novi Sad that says ‘Adolf and Gizela Schosberger’ as the names of one of the donors for the construction of the synagogue.

I know that holidays were observed and that on Saturdays my grandmother would often gather all the grandchildren for cholent to our house on Karadzic Street. We would all sit in the backyard room; there was a big oval table, only Ivan Hohberg (son of my father’s sister Paula and Jakob Hohberg) would not come for lunch, but only watch, since according to his father it was not kosher enough. For me ‘cholent’ was, baked goose with compote from quince as a salad and for desert some cakes.

Father’s brother Eugen was born in 1891. He completed a business school. During World War I he was at the Italian front where he had contusions. He could not speak for some time, but he recovered and was sent to the Russian front. Here he received a war medal for courage. He had a rank of sergeant major. He was in captivity in Irkuck (Siberia).

After he had returned home he rejoined the company and married Lili Fuerst in 1922. Lili lived from 1903 to 1954. With her, he had daughters Mira and Vera.

Mira was born in 1923. She lives today in Paris. She has a daughter Clair and a grandson Julien. She has two Ph. D’s, one from psychology and one from pedagogy; she is a pensioner today. Her sister Vera was born in 1927. She was a famous pianist in Novi Sad and a piano teacher. She never got married. She died in 1972.

Eugen ran the ‘Adolf Schosberger’ company; he was also a member of a mason family. During the occupation he moved to Pest together with his family, where he built a two story house. In the organization of the Kastner group 4 he had been taken with his family to Bergen-Belzen from where they went to Switzerland and survived the war. After the war he returned to Novi Sad and worked with different companies till his death.

The second brother of my father, Martin, was born in 1897. He was married to Hermina Levenber (1901). Martin too worked in the family company. He was a member of Bnei Brit 5. After World War II started, Martin had been taken to a forced labour camp where he perished in 1943 in Ukraine. His wife died from illness in Budapest in 1943. They had a son Egon, born in 1924 in Novi Sad. Egon immigrated to Israel in 1948 with his wife Vera Lacko. He worked in Israel at customs district and for some time in the American embassy. He has two children Eliezer and Ofra and five grandchildren. Egon died in Israel in 1995.

My father’s sister Paula lived on Karadzic Street together with grandmother Gizela and her family. Paula’s husband was called Jakob; we called him Uncle Jaksi. They had four children Djordje, Ivan, Kornelija (Nusika) and Greta. Djordje died very young. He was in a visit at his relatives in Temerin and got scarlet fever and died. He was a very handsome young boy. Ivan didn’t return from the Holocaust; Greta and Nusika lived in Budapest. Greta has died; Nusika still lives in Budapest. Aunt Paula and Jakob were killed in Auschwitz.

My grandfather from my mother’s side was called Gabor. He was from Feith family. His family owned a lot of land in Bugyi but there were also a lot of children. My grandfather didn’t want to be a burden to the family so he left for Budapest. He studied to become a building contractor. He was a very wealthy man; he had 37 houses a car, a coach and a horse-drawn vehicle that served for transportation of goods.

Grandfather Gabor was also the President of the Jewish community in Rakospalota [today part of Budapest] it was an Orthodox community. He built there a synagogue with his son Miska. The synagogue exists even today and is used as a library.

I loved very much to visit Grandfather Gabor. When I was a child he used to take me to visit his building sites. At the beginning he had taken me with his car; later on he sold it. I remember it was a big FIAT that had the transmission from outside. We would always come to the building site while his employees were having their breakfast. It was interesting to me and I always wanted to eat with them. I would sit with them and they would offer me food to eat. Later on my grandmother would fill a small traveling bag with bread, some kosher salami and cucumbers for me, and I also wanted bacon, but she didn’t give me.

Grandfather Gabor’s wife was called Sidonia. We called her Sidi. She comes from Weiner family. She used to help in the office with administrative type of jobs. While she was working in the office grandfather would look after other duties out of the office. They lived in a big house with 6 or 7 rooms. If I remember well there were two servants and coachmen. They also had employees in the store, therefore my grandmother didn’t have to do anything else but overlooking the works in the kitchen since everything in their house was strictly kosher. Their children were Paul, Miska, Paula, Beska and Mancika.

I remember, from my childhood, Seder at my grandmother Sidi. We would always go to my grandfather and grandmother to Rakospalota. Usually I went there with my mother and brother. My father didn’t always come with us. It was big house with six or seven rooms. In one of them there was a big cabinet where all Pesah dishes were held. Of course these dishes were used only during Pesah. Seder was held in a big room; it was a big dinning room and the whole family would always gather there together. Grandfather guided the Seder. They hid afikoman as well so we the children would look after it everywhere in the house. We finished with the song Hadgaja (about a goat). Usually I would say Ma nistanah and my brother Dodika and my nephew Jancika would look for afikoman.

Mother had a brother Paul; she told me he had been very smart. He was known for his skills to do crossword puzzles and solve enigmas and would always receive prizes. However, one day he got meningitis; it seemed he had a brain tumor, but I don’t know about that. He died as a middle school student; he was 17 or 18. He was buried in the new cemetery in Rakospalota; I visited his grave many years ago. I got my name after him.

Mihaly, the other brother of my mother, or Uncle Miska, as I called him, attended gymnasium and completed three faculties, school of civil engineering, school of architecture and school of economics. He was a triple engineer. He had an illegitimate daughter, Ela. Ela’s mother was a nurse, who Uncle Miska met during World War I. When grandmother learned about the birth of this baby, she took her from the woman, brought her home and gave her to a relative of hers, a teacher, since they couldn’t have children. They raised Ela. When Ela had grown she learned that Uncle Miska was her real father. Ela later got married and lived in Spain.

Uncle Miska got married later. His wife was called Antonia, but we called her Aunt Toni. Just when I was in a visit in Budapest in 1956 Toni died. Later cika Miska remarried Aunt Toni’s friend who was called Ana. Soon after she fell sick and had to stay in the bed for the rest of her life. Uncle Miska died in 1975. He was 85 when he died.

My mother’s sister Beska married a banker; his name was Rudolf Lukac. He owned a bank and they lived a care free life. They lived in Budapest in a big apartment. Aunt Beska perished in Auschwitz; her husband had died of cancer before the war began. They had two sons Pista and Jancika. Pista was present at my son’s Josip wedding; he died later. Jancika, he is in Canada, I don’t know what is going on with him, he doesn’t write.

The other sister, Mancika, she was the least attractive among the sisters. Otherwise she studied medicine; she would faint during anatomy classes and so she left studies. She had no education. She married Ervin Hajnal, who was a fine gentleman. He was very religious; he would put tefillin every morning. Besides technical books he read only religious books. Ervin was cultural-technical engineer that is a civil engineer. He worked on the construction of railroads. During the war he was all the time at the railroads, they didn’t imprison nor intern him. Aunt Mancika had no children. They both survived World War II; Uncle Ervin died from cancer in 1956. Mancika died a few years after her brother Uncle Miska.

There was a story. In their apartment they had an official phone line since he worked as an adviser in the Ministry of the Railroad Transportation. One day he called to inform that he was not coming home for a few days. Aunt Mancika didn’t know what to do. When after a few days he had returned home she asked him ‘so where were you?’ he replied ‘don’t ask I was in Berlin driving Regent Horthy’s train to Berlin. Three engineers operated the train with him; there was a police inspector and a mechanical engineer.

Mother’s family was religious. For Shabbat candles were lighted, for the holidays they went to synagogue, and they had kosher kitchen. My grandfather wasn’t wearing kippah on street, just at home, Jewish community or synagogue. All the children in the family had Jewish weddings. In that time weddings weren’t held inside of synagogues, but were usually outside in the backyard of synagogue or of their homes, under Chuppah [bridal canopy]. Only later it became popular to make weddings inside of synagogue.  

My father was called Josip (Jicak); everyone called him Joka. He was born in 1889 in Novi Sad. He was the eldest son. He attended the Jewish elementary school and then the Hungarian gymnasium that was in Novi Sad. Besides Hungarian as his mother tongue he spoke Serbian and German language.  He completed the 4 years of gymnasium and two years of commercial school.

After the graduation he went to Bosnia to learn lumber trade. There he worked in the woods with ‘baraberi’ as they called them [they were workers that were coming from different regions to work and look for better livelihood]. Here they cut woods and lumber with power saws (it is a mechanical motor saw). When they put a log inside it the saw would cut it into boards.

While he was working there a doctor from that district would visit them once a week. Since many of them were sick and injured, he thought my father to use the first-aid kit so he could treat the workers. As he didn’t speak much Latin, therefore the doctor wrote under every Latin name of the medicaments their Hungarian or Serbian names. That way he knew what to do when someone had a cut; he even treated the wounds from syphilis. He had his own method. He would take a long stick, put a piece of cotton and dipped it in iodine. That iodine would burn the syphilis caused wounds and they would dry out. After that he would throw the cotton out; but of course this method didn’t treat the syphilis itself.

My father has served the army; he has been ordered to a cavalry regiment. Up until then he had seen a horse only with a coach. Here he had to groom, take care, and saddle the horse and to learn to ride it. The cavalry was dressed in red pants and blue shirts. Corporal in charge for military training had it in for my father. As the soldiers were riding the horses he would often ‘accidentally’ hit my father with the horsewhip in his leg; since his pants were of red color one could not see him bleeding. Once, during the grooming of the horses, the Corporal took that thing for grooming and hit my father in the chest. During an exercise, because of the Corporal, my father’s horse hit a fence and my father broke his leg. After he had recovered he went in for riding and became the best horseman in the whole regiment. My father was a very strong man, he was educated, he had a nice handwriting and he very quickly became a clerk in the regiment. He received his first star, then the second one and the third one, while the Corporal remained with only two stars and could not mistreat my father anymore.

He spent three years in the army. During this time he was able to celebrate all Jewish holidays, he wasn’t praying everyday, but he used to go to Synagogue. Just as he had left the military service the war [World War I] broke out and he had to return to his regiment. First he had gone to Galician front and later to the Italian front. He was at that time with the regiment as ordnance and received many war medals, two for the courage, merits, and Karl’s cross. All together he had seven war medals.

In 1918 the Italian front had faded away, the revolution broke out 6 and the army left the front and returned home. Soldiers posted white chrysanthemums to their hats, they called it chrysanthemum’s revolution; and then the Hungarian army started their retreat to Hungary. My father went to Budapest together with the army. There Horthy’s soldiers were singing ‘erger, berger, sosberger minden zsido gazember’ which meant that every Jew was a rowdy. Then he decided to leave the military.

Mother Paula was born in 1895 in Ujpest. She first completed the Jewish elementary school and then attended the famous Veres Palne advanced girls’ school. Later she completed an advanced technical school for civil engineering. In secret she also completed Montessori academy for extracurricular education. When she returned to Novi Sad she was the first person to have education for educating kids in extracurricular activities. It was the Montessori Method she used, which is even today attractive.

She was very skillful. She would make anything and everything, for example, she drew, did handwork, made different decorations from wood, Goblins, made and worked on vases. I loved to help her; I would, for example, by a plain vase and then we would color it in black and drew figures in some other colors. After that we would lacquer it and get a very nice thing.

My parents knew each other since they were relatives. After my father had left the military he visited his relatives, the Feith family. His relatives held him up, they wanted him to stay longer because they liked to have a male person around and because their son had not returned form the military. Here he associated with Feith’s daughters. Here somehow Paula and Joka fell in love. My mother told her parents that she had wanted to marry Joka.

The wedding took place in Budapest; since it was a war time my father’s family was unable to attend the wedding. They married in 1919; it was a religious and a civil wedding. They lived for some time in Budapest, where my father ran a café bar that was the property of Grandfather Gabor. After, I believe 4 years, the grandfather from Novi Sad ordered Joka to return home.

I was born in Budapest, in the Jewish hospital ‘szeretetkorhaz’. I was born on Yom Kippur on September 21, 1920. My grandfather Gabor lived 10 kilometers away from the hospital and on the second day after my birth (it was still Yom Kippur) he had walked to the hospital to see me.

We didn’t live in Budapest for long. To Novi Sad my mother and I came with the ship ‘Franc Jozef’, it was the first voyage that I remember. We traveled for a long time from Pest to Novi Sad, but it was fun. When we arrived, my father was waiting for us and waiving. My father had come to Novi Sad before we did in order to prepare everything for our arrival. We went with a coach to our house. I think I was 3 or 4 years old.

In Novi Sad we first lived at my grandmother’s place. In 1927 we moved into our house. It was located near a public bathhouse and a catholic cemetery. It is even today one of the nicest houses. There were 5 rooms and down there in the basement there were a couple of rooms. In that house we had a bathroom, the most modern bathroom with our on plumbing; we had this automatic tank that could fill up automatically. The water had to be warmed up using fire wood, since there was no boiler. In the bathroom we had a bidet and a sink. In that house there was also a central heating that is floor heating on coke; we also had a phone line, radio, it was an equipped house of today’s grade. There were servants, there was a woman who cooked, a young girl who helped with cleaning the rooms and we had, for some time, a nurse while my brother was little but she left later on. We had a gardener and a janitress who washed and ironed the laundry.

We grew roses and some other flowers. I was a well-intentioned boy and would always bring home some flowers. On Futoska Street near the Jewish school there was a store with seeds; there I would by different seeds day and night, violets and sometimes radishes. So I had my own garden where I grew my flowers and radishes.

While we lived in the house, my friends were Vermes Tibor, Iric Mandika, Lemberger’s children, they all lived close by. We all went together to Jewish primary school. Most of  our time was spent playing ping-pong less playing football. And we socialized in the school and at home in the afternoons. Later on I associated with Miki Berkovic. His parents had a big factory ‘Prva Jugoslovenska Kemicka fabrika’, they manufactured soaps, cologne, shoe cream ‘Idol’ and I don’t know what else. Together with him I used to go to the school dances, movies and theaters. For some time I was in love with Miki’s sister. However, my first love was Bjanka in the first grade of elementary school. She danced ballet nicely and my whole class was in love with her. Today Bjanka lives in Israel in Ashkelon and she is 83 years old.

We had friends besides the family but I don’t remember them. Mainly we associated with our relatives. We often got together with our relatives who were in Novi Sad, with Hereds, the other Schosbergers, grandfather’s brother-in-laws, Kraus, Rozencweigs; they were all married to Schosberger’s girls.

While we lived on Futoska Street we had in the neighborhood our seller ‘Najbauer i sin’ [the name of the shop ‘Najbauer and son’]. He was German. He had a variety store and we used to buy there. We had a book where it was recorded everything we bought and at the end of the month we would be paying. We were on good terms with him. This Najbauer had a son.

Once I bought some candies, found a kind of number in them. I asked him ‘what is this?’ he told me to hold on to this number because I could get a watch.  Since then I have started buying these candies and collecting the numbers and at the end, we had all the numbers. He went to the factory’s main office that manufactured these candies and I received a pocket watch. It was a pocket watch, quiet thick and I was very proud of it.

After we moved to the house we would always go to ‘Jelisaveta Marberger’ store. As alleged this Jelisaveta was a distant relative of ours. She had a husband Aladar. This store was located on today’s Zeleznicka Street. We didn’t go there to buy, but we ordered over the phone what we needed and their man would bring the merchandise on the bicycle. On Postanska Street there was a kosher butcher store ran by Marer, grandfather of our friend Evika Marer. We used to buy meat there. There also used to be shacter office (a poultry slaughterhouse) in the backyard of synagogue. The main shochet Simon Fleishman was also teaching and preparing kids for Bar Mitzvah.

My brother was called Adolf Armand Schosberger, Adolf after my grandfather, and Armand, my mother found, so it would not be only Adolf. We didn’t call him Adolf nor Arman but Dodi or Dodika, even in school they called him by his nickname only now and then by his full name. He was born in 1926 in Novi Sad.

I was 5 years old when I started the beginner’s class and I had already known Serbian. My mother tongue was Hungarian and German, I don’t know which one I began to talk first. Serbian I learned here. I had taught my mother Serbian before she took private classes with a professor. She had to give an exam from Serbian, history and geography in order to validate her teachers’ diploma.

Dodika was like me attending the Jewish elementary school, then gymnasium; after he had completed it he began to go to a technical school but he didn’t complete the 3rd grade because the war had started. I don’t remember I had not been here when the war started, but I think one could attend schools then, but he was killed in the raid in 1942. He was 16 then.

Once there was an interesting problem with the name of my brother. We worked every summer in my grandfather’s office. I started arranging the archives, I had to read every letter, to put them in files where they belong and the same thing Dodika had to do later. After I grew up, I advanced and when there were no lectures I would work in the company. I would do everything, I went to the bank to cash cheques, and I would even pay customs. When I stopped working in the company Dodika became the incomer for my duties. Once he has gone to the bank, the clerk asked him to put his signature. He signed as ‘Adolf Schosberger’ – the clerk told him ‘don’t sign the company but your name’, ‘but my name is Adolf Sosberger’ he says.

At least once a year we had to go to Budapest to our family; otherwise Dodika, my mother and I went once together to the seaside to Crkvenica. No more we had traveled together, but I went to camp sites. They were not Jewish camp sites. I used to go to a boarding school at Bled [in Slovenia]; it was run by middle school teacher Legetic. There we didn’t have any special program. We have associated, swum in the lake; I have been there several times.

As we moved to Novi Sad, my mother would take care of me and my brother Dodi only. When Dodi grew up, she engaged in public works. She was one of the most active women in the Jewish community, in the women’s section [then it was called women’s organization], in the Maccabi, in WIZO. She took care of the whole organization of the cultural and public Jewish life. She organized concerts, balls, dances, tea parties. I still have here a newspaper where is written ‘our famous Paula Schosberger was in charge for the organization’.

My Bar Mitzvah was in 1933. Hazan Simon Fleishman prepared me for Bar Mitzvah. It was in the month of September. My whole family was present, even the grandfather from Budapest came. First Kohen was asked to step to Torah, it was Uncle Jaksi Hohberg, on the left was my father, then uncles Eugen and Martin, and I was maftir. I had a new suit, I was very nervous but in spite of that I sang nicely my part of the prayer. After that rabbi Dr. Henrih Kis held a speech, blessed me and congratulated me. With it the official part was over and when I climbed down the stage I was welcomed by relatives and friends who congratulated me. My mother and my aunts were all the time on the balcony. At home we had a formal lunch and in the afternoon my friends of the same age came for a visit. I received many presents.

I attended the Jewish elementary school, then the gymnasium Kralj Aleksandar. It was a classical state male gymnasium (4 grades of gymnasium). Here I was studying Latin and French. I loved to study languages. My French teacher would always praise me to be the best student of his.

I went for two years to Fridman’s institute. Almost every day I would go there after school. It was private institute and students had to pay for attending classes. It had two buildings, one was used as dormitory for out of town students and in the other there were classrooms where we studied. Not all of the students were Jewish, and there were no Jewish subjects. We had classes about general education and they were in German or French language. They were taught by Dr. Fridman and his wife. These classes were famous; he would say ‘today we are going to Italy through Novi Sad by train’. We needed to know what places we pass through, what money is in what country etc.

After gymnasium I attended a technical high school, section for construction. Here my father helped me a lot. He knew to draw nicely and whenever there was a drawing to be done with ink, he would do that instead of me. He bought for me all possible gadgets, I had two boards with legs, one big board was in the school the other one I had at home. I had a drawing desk and a ruler and the same things in the school. I loved descriptive geometry, specialistic subjects and knew to draw nicely, however ink drawing my father knew better.

The town of Novi Sad was a very nice town, as it is today, it is located near Danube, but it was much smaller then today. In my time it had a tram that was introduced in 1911, it was a tram on tracks, electricity; it had been in function till 1958 when it was discontinued. Before that, there was a tram pulled by two horses like an omnibus. Later on came coaches and even cars. We had parks that exist even today Dunavski and Futoski and the so called Artejski Park. The streets were mainly paved with yellow clinker bricks, but there were also streets paved with asphalt and those that were not paved with asphalt. The center was always nicely arranged.

As there were no water-supply in Novi Sad in houses, usually the adults would go to bath in the public bathhouse; we the children would bath at home in a small bath from sheet metal in which you could sit but your legs would be sticking out from it. Father and mother had been going to the bathhouse so long as the house was completed, in which there was a water-supply. In Novi Sad there used to be Mikveh, in the backyard of synagogue but my parents weren’t so religious so they weren’t going there.

The Jewish community was a Neology type 7. In Novi Sad, then, there were about 65 000 inhabitants and maybe even more. From them, the biggest Jewish population had been just before World War II, around 4300. Here were included different emigrants from Austria, Czechoslovakia and Poland. They came to escape from Hitler’s regime. There was a big synagogue that was built in 1909. It is today’s synagogue the fifth in order. It was very nice, it had organs and mixed choir. It is interesting since only in 1888 it was permitted the use of mixed choir in synagogues and only in neology ones that were a bit more liberal.

The main rabbi was Dr. Henrih Kis. He completed the rabbinical seminar in Budapest 8 and he was a Doctor of philosophy. In the 1930s came to Novi Sad another rabbi Dr. Mordehaj Zilber. He was Polish and a Doctor of philosophy too. He was well educated and spoke many languages, mostly he helped the main rabbi and kept Hebrew and history classes for kids. The Jewish community had seven clerks for religion. The main prayer was chazzan Fleishman Simon, there were a few assistants to the prayer and a shammash he was called Kaufman, he wore a half cylinder. There were two servants who cleaned and took care of the synagogue they were not Jewish. One of them blew the organs (before the electrification). He would use his legs to blow air in the organs.

Officials, the President of the Jewish Community and Chevra Kaddisha had their place in the Synagogue. They were sitting to the left of the rabbi, in separate honorary places. To the right two gabbai would sit, they were well known inhabitants of Novi Sad). They all had during the religious service cylinders on their head while the rabbi and the main Cantor as well as all the religious personnel had talar from silk or velvet (they were dressed in a very decorative manner).

In Novi Sad there was also a Jewish kindergarten. My mother founded it at the beginning of 1930, at her expense. It was the first and only Jewish kindergarten in Novi Sad. After the opening of the Jewish cultural home in 1935, the kindergarten had moved into the cultural house and then the Jewish Community takes it over. But my mother was still in charge and running the kindergarten; Hana Simerling, after coming back from Palestine (I think in 1937 or 1938, because she got malaria), helped my mother in work with kids. There was one more girl, additional staff, she would take kids to toilet, helped them to wash their hands etc.

It was a well-known kindergarten, beside Jewish kids there were non Jewish too. There they would draw, learn Jewish songs, make sculptures from modeling clay. Whole kindergarten was adapted for young kids with small tables, chairs, and even small sinks and toilet sits.  All the kids had uniforms, white frocks with blue edges and blue Magen David on the left side, the name of each child was written on the frock’s pocket. The kids often prepared shows for holidays, for Hanukkah, Purim and they were presented in front of the Community members. I remember the names of some performances ‘Adriatic night’, ‘Children’s conference’ and ‘Forest dream’. These were all very simple theatre performances made so that even the youngest of kids could participate. My brother and I would also take a part in them from time to time.

We also had a Jewish elementary school, it was the best school in the town, with excellent teachers and a very modern building, for example, no school in the town except ours, had English toilet and water. It was founded in 1801. It was built next to the synagogue and was here all the time. [Today in that building is a ballet school]. The school director was Boros Mihajlo who taught religious instruction. In the beginning almost all the teachers were Jewish. Later on there were only few Jewish teachers and were employed non Jewish teachers.

It was the only Jewish school in Novi Sad, it was not Yeshiva, we had a specialty; on Saturdays the school was not open but there was a religious service for kids every Saturday in the second grade class. In that class there was a small Aron kodesh, and there was a parokhet on it. On Saturdays Aron kodesh would be opened and a smaller Torah taken out. Meil would take off the clothing and a silky tape in what Torah was wrapped, he would put it on the table where it was read. The religious service was led by Mihajlo Boros. He would read Torah and first was invited Kohen, Levi, Shlisi, Revii, Hamishi, Shishi and Maftir; all who would come to Torah were kids. After the end of the religious service Torah would be wrapped back, hagber would hold it again and galila dressed Torah and put it back in Aron kodesh.

My family was religious but not orthodox. In my home we had kosher kitchen and my mother was very strict about its rules, all Jewish festivals were celebrated and we went to synagogue as well. For Shabbat my mother would light the candles, and at Saturday I always went with my father to the morning service.  For Yom Kippur all the family was fasting and during the day we were at service in synagogue.

Ghettos existed in Novi Sad for only a short time somewhere around 1748. When Novi Sad became a free Royal city with it came its right to create a Jewish ghetto. The Jewish Street was proclaimed a ghetto and all the Jews who had had houses in other parts had to sell and buy houses in this part of the town, but that didn’t last for long. That street would be locked with chains at 6 p.m. But already in 1800s Jews were residing all around Novi Sad although their stores were mainly on Jevrejska Street [Today it is still called the same meaning Jewish street, it is located in the very center of Novi Sad].

After World War I a new Kingdom of SHS was created [Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenians], Jews too had accepted the new state except a few that had not accepted the new government and left Novi Sad for Hungary. We didn’t meddle much into politics, only Bodo Kovac, who was the president of the Hungarian party. At that time one could sense the strengthening of Zionist organizations and later in 1930s the revisionists too. We were all mainly in Hashomer Hacair 9, Tehelet lavan 10 and Kadima 11 organizations. It was a Zionist center left orientated.

I remember the military parades, every year there was one parade in the town. On September 6, the birthday of the crown-prince Petar, the Yugoslav army paraded with military music. It would begin on Dunavska Street [Main Street in Novi Sad] then pass by the headquarters of the first army, here the army commander would welcome the parade, and to me it was very interesting to watch. There were military music, few military transports with soldiers, artillery, trucks and there were no tanks.

I remember the King’s visit to Novi Sad. We, the middle school students, had stood in the first row, it was in 1934 in the spring and in the fall he was killed. I was next to him, there were no soldiers only isolated policemen in front and we the children. I stood at the movie theater ‘Apolo’ [today’s Apolo center, at the main square], immediately as the king was arriving with an open Packard and with protective glass. Near him was sitting the governor of the Danube regional unit and at the front was the adjutant. While he was coming he was waving his hands to us and greeted us in a military way, and we would shout ‘long live the king, long live the king’, we also had some flags that we waved with. Then the King entered the City hall, for a meeting, and after that he sanctified the business youth’s building. He came out on the balcony, there were a lot of people down there and we applauded and shouted ‘long live the king’!

In 1934 in October the King was killed. My mother had a habit, when she would hear something new she would say ‘Is it possible, is it really possible?’ Exactly then my brother and I heard mother when she started ‘what are you saying?’ and we ‘is it possible. Is it possible?’ However, we saw at her that there had been something really serious, she sad ‘children it is not a joke, they killed the King!’ We were scared about what could happen. But Dodika and I were not aware of the situation. All the night soldiers were marching in front of the house. From all the barracks in Novi Sad soldiers were going to the central barracks on Mileticeva Street. There they gave oath to the new king. The following morning when we went out, there was everywhere military police with rifles and bayonets. They guarded everything, the City hall; the financial institution was guarded by the ‘financi’ (financial guard) in green uniforms, while the military buildings were guarded by the soldiers. This is how it had been until the funeral, that took place about two weeks later in Belgrade and then in Topola.

I attended the gymnasium ‘Kralj Aleksandar’ and we too wore black bands on our arms, but then we changed our minds. But we had our school sign ‘A1’ on our hats with the crown of king Aleksandar on it, and we took transparent black tulle and so wrapped that badge.

While I was in gymnasium I had a very bad teacher, his name was Bozidar Prvanovic, and he taught Serbian language. Before I completed the final exam this guy had tormented me. In the 4th grade of gymnasium, for Christmas break he dictated a list of school readings to us that needed to be read. After I had arrived home and told  that to my father  and my mother, mother grabbed my hands and took me to ‘Matica Srpska’ [a Serbian cultural institution that is engaged in scientific and publishing activities], there we were helped by, I think his name was Cosic, to find all the books. Everything that was expected I have read. I have done nothing else during that break but read.

At my father it was a must that everything I read or write in the school, I had to copy into hard bound notebooks and it was like a Holy Letter. So after I had read all the books from my school readings, I had them written all on the paper. At the first class after the break came that Prvanovic and immediately asked me if I had read anything during the break. Immediately I started reading all the names from the list; of course he didn’t believe me that I read it all. He asked me to read the report. What ever he wanted, I had the report written in my notebook. He gave me mark 3 and didn’t want to give me a better mark although I knew everything he asked. I think he was anti-Semite but I’m not sure how he was behaving with other Jewish kids. He taught me German too. I spoke German fluently, but even here I always had mark 3 very rarely 4. He wasn’t like that with the other students. I remember when we would go on a picnic he would ask me to contribute more money for the picnic and he would say ‘You Schosbergers are rich’. Except this teacher I had nobody else problems with.

All the middle school-kids were joined members of the school organization. And we participated in all school rallies. The rallies took place at today’s stadium, then, it was ‘Karadjordje’ athletic field. It was the property of ‘Vojvodina’ and ‘Juda Makabi’ sports clubs. Here falcon parades took place with falcon music [Falcon was Yugoslavian national sporting organization]. We would march through the town, we had stylish uniforms with red shirts, school hats with a feather, and the younger ones wore short pants, red shirts, sajkaca [type of Yugoslav soldier’s cap] with red lining while the little ones had the same uniforms but instead of sajkaca they wore round caps with black and red in the middle. After that we did some group exercises, floor exercises and then that with rings and with batons mainly exercised girls and younger boys.

I collected stamps, played the piano, loved to ski, and played tennis. I was active in the ‘Juda Makabi’ sports club. Here I first learned to fence, later on I joined the section for gymnastics. In the evenings we would go to parties, makabi balls, and Zionist performances.

Besides Miki Berkovic, my great friend was Fredik Ernst. His parents ran a retail company for postage stamps and philately stamps. Almost every day I would visit them, we would go out together. First we would go to dances that took place in the male and female middle school (gymnasium), after that we would go to cafe bars, bars and night clubs.

During 1933 we moved to Mileticeva street because my father had financial problems and the house were we lived was sold. The building was erected on the location of the former ‘Kamila’ café bar that was a well known meeting place for writers and bohemians in Novi Sad. The building was built by Cocek Nandor a building contractor from Novi Sad, after the projects of Mihaly Feith, architect, who had come to Novi Sad for that reason. He lived with us at that time and sometimes he ate at grandmother Gizela on Karadziceva Street.

In that building except us lived some other our relatives, Kelers, (today they live in Rehovot), Kalmans, Dr. Santo with his family, Sosberger Mano (Kis Marci) with the family. There were more residents here but I don’t remember them.

My family moved in a 4 room apartment on the ground level; from the entrance you got directly in the dinning room that was furnished with the same dinning room furniture that we had in the house, it was a furniture in so called ‘new German style’ that my mother had received from her father as a dowry. From that room you entered the living room. In the living room the furniture was made from mahogany in a secessionist style, we had a big library there was also my father’s desk and in the middle of the room there was a round table with 4 armchairs. On the floor there was a Persian rug. In that room was also a piano made by ‘Lauberger and Gross’. We received it from Budapest, and the rest of the furniture was bought at ‘Eduard Kraus’.

Dodika and I shared the room together; it was all in green furniture. I had a green iron bad and Dodika slept in a green couch. In the room we had a tile stove. Beside the window there were two worktables – it was a green color bench.  Later on I had my drawing table there. In the apartment there was also my parent’s bedroom, and a bathroom but the toilet was separately. From the dinning room we could go to the hallway that led to the kitchen and the pantry. Also in the house there was a girl’s room but it had a separate entrance, from the hallway of the building. It was a small room and in it you could fit a bed and a closet.

In our house there was a lot of books, a part of it my mother had brought from the family library, but also quite a lot of books we bought. There were foreign writers, Hungarian writers, encyclopedias, different historiography books. I read the most a thick book about women anatomy. When I was small my mother took the book for herself, but I have stolen it and always read it.

With Hitler’s arrival to power, there were no big changes here. I remember that local Germans would get together, that building exists even today. On the eve of the war they withdrew into that building, they were armed. Here inside they had a radio station. Sometimes we would see them, but very rarely. Once they marched, here where the Slovakian church is today [Masarikova Street], before the church there is a one story residential house. Here their youth would meet. They were dressed in black short pants, white blouse and white socks.

When I had completed the school I got employed. Then I was 19 years old. My first job was with ‘Soman i Bauer’ company that manufactured artificial stones, there I learned the trade, I worked on the production of artificial stones, façade and around things connected with construction. After that I joined engineer Rajh. Here I worked in the office, drew and drew up plans, and climbed buildings. Later on I got employed in Belgrade with a quite big planning office. Here we worked for the royal court and ministers. It was a very favorable opportunity; I started to get to know the profession and the people. However on March 27 in 1941, there had been a coup d’etat in Yugoslavia and my chief told me that it would be better to return home because there was going to be a war. I went home immediately and joined the civil defense. On April the 6th World War II started in Yugoslavia when Germany attacked Yugoslavia.

In Novi Sad I never felt anti-Semitism nor did I ever have conflicts on the job for being a Jew. However with the arrival of the occupier big troubles for us Jews have started everywhere and at all places. There were a lot of laws that restricted us The first law was that Jews could not buy any real estate, second that they were not permitted to trade with any goods, third they could not attend schools, fourth they could not work in their desired field mainly they had no jobs at all. Then my mother formed small group in Jewish Cultural center, they had telephone there. Our members who stayed without job would apply to her and then she was trying to find them some kind of job. Also Serbs were coming to look for workers. I became bricklayer and I worked together with my friend Ervin Haim who was by profession printer. We were repairing houses. Everybody worked what ever job was found. But this didn’t last for too long, very soon started the call ups for work services that are forced labor.

As soon as the occupiers had come we were asked to pay a huge compensation to Hungarian army, I don’t know why. Novi Sad’s Jews all together had to collect 50 million golden dinars, of course there was no such money. When my uncle Eugen heard about this, he said ‘in Novi Sad there is no so much money’, and that was the Truth. I was the youngest member of group that collected money. From members of Jewish community we collected 37 millions, part in money, houses, bonds and part in bank accounts. The main thing is that we paid 37 million dinars in order to avoid being thrown out from Novi Sad over the Danube, to Ustashi. To be killed by Ustashi.

When they had called us up for forced labor, the first group worked 6 Weeks in Novi Sad. Every day from 6 to 4 o’clock in the afternoon we did physical work at jobs like navy, airport, unloading at the Danube, demolition and clean up of terrain. And besides all, soldiers and officers would all the time tease and mistreat us. For example, solders would catch a person and condemn him to be hanged for two hours. His hands would be tied behind his back and his legs would barely touch the ground. After 15 minutes the most, he would faint. Soldiers would then put him down on the ground, splash him with water, and after he regained consciousness, they would start all over from the begging. They would never beat us.  

When I had finished with forced labor, I would go the office to my father to work on something but since some people started mistreating me, some former employees who didn’t know me, probably mistreated everyone. Some of my acquaintances advised me that it would be better to leave for Pest. I obtained some documents which helped me to get to Pest. There I stayed at my uncle Miska. In Pest it was still possible to work, so I worked in the morning on construction sites, and in the evening I stayed with my relatives Pista and Jancika, we would go everywhere, had fun as much as it was possible.

My family was surviving here in Novi Sad for some time; they could not go out and were not appearing in the society. It was very difficult and obviously a bad situation. My mother stayed home, she could not run the kindergarten that is she worked and she didn’t, the thing is that it was rescinded at the end.

In October I received a call up to report to military officials. As soon as I reported they assigned me to the 5th workers’ battalion in Hodmezovasarhely [south of Hungary] and since that period from October 13th, 1941 till the end of the war I have been in labor camps. I was in different camps across Hungary, in Transylvania and Russian Carpathian, northern Hungary, occupied former Czechoslovakia. In June 1943 we were transported by ships to Serbia in Bor mine, here I stayed till the end of the war, about a year and a half. The camp was run by Germans and our guards were Hungarian soldiers. There I stayed the longest at one place. I worked in the German working organization ‘TODT’, there were around 7000 Jews from Hungary and from all the territories that Hungarians occupied.

The communication with my family existed till they were alive [January 1942]. We had those pink cards that we could mail once twice a month, if you had whom to mail. At the beginning when I was in Hungary and my parents were still alive we stayed in touch. My parents and the brother were killed on January 23, 1942 in Novi Sad during the Raid 11.

The Raid in Novi Sad lasted three days. From our house, during the Raid all its residents were killed and that in front of the house. Only two little babies were saved, Aleksandar Kerenji and Djurika Goldstajn. Servants hid them in pillows and so saved. Later, relatives took them. Djurika has gone to relatives in Novi Sad and then to Budapest to my uncle Miska. Here he had lived till 1956 when he moved to America. There he got sick and died, I don’t know what year.

During those three days of Raid in Novi Sad any kind of gathering, in public or in houses, was forbidden. All shops were closed; there was no traffic in the city, telephone lines were cut off and it was forbidden to listen to radio. During first two days around twenty people were killed. Unfortunately, the number of victims wasn’t high enough for the Hungarian authorities and they ordered a new approach. So on the last day, Raid started from Mileticeva Street, street where we lived. My whole family was killed just outside the house where we lived as well as all the inhabitants of that street. After killing people on the streets, Hungarian soldiers took bodies and through them to Danube river. That day it was -30°C in Novi Sad and the Danube was frozen. Most of the people were taken away from their homes and killed at beach ‘Strand’ on the Danube. They had to stand in rows of four: men, women and children. There were ordered to take their clothes off, and then forced to come to the big whole made in the ice by Hungarians soldiers. Then, they were shot and their bodies thrown under the ice. Today, there are 828 known Jewish victims of Raid in Novi Sad.     

In Novi Sad from our closer relatives 14 were killed (9 of them were killed during the Raid in Novi Sad), and 20 from our other relatives. That is 34 persons from my family that were killed during the World War II.

After the Raid in Novi Sad I had nobody to write among my relatives. I only wrote to my uncle Miska and to my grandmother in Pest. Grandmother had stayed in Pest till April 1944, when she was taken with her daughter to Auschwitz. Uncle Miska and his sister Mancika had stayed in Pest in some Spanish houses that were under protection of Spanish embassy; Spanish embassy would rent a house for the people that had Spanish documents. My uncle, his family and my aunt got them somehow that way they were not taken away. The people from the embassy would look after them so they were not going out very often. This way lot of Jews was saved.

I remember the liberation day that was on October 3rd, 1944 in the Bor mine. Because I was working there as manager of construction, from Germans I received a license to move outside the camp. It was sort of ID. At the end of September camp was in big disorder because the first group of the soldiers had left the camp. One day when it occurred to me that I won’t be allowed to leave the camp anymore, I took all my possessions from the office, where I worked, my fake documents and IDs. While I was entering the camp, the guard stopped me, searched me, and found those documents. I was closed in an army court. Fortunately, the army judge was no longer there, he had already left to Hungary. The soldiers from the army court treated me ‘normally’. The last day, I was transferred to Gail that was situated in the camp.

My friend Juda Farkas together with some Italian people that were also sent to work at this camp, they broke the door with axes and release me. Then, I was hidden in Juda’s barrack; friends hid me in one of the beds. After the army had left Bor mine, together with my camp inmates I took over the command over the camp. The camp was on fire; we managed to escape from the fire and dispersed over the city. I reported to the first partisan unit that I came across, since I had few friends and partisans, they set me in a partisan unit where I immediately became a partisan and a few days later they summoned me to the staff of the partisan unit. Since then I have stayed at the staff and worked on different jobs. In the army I was an officer and stayed there for another 10 years.

Juda Farkas and his brother Mendi were very good friends of mine. To all the camps where I was sent for work, they were sent, too. The two of them were born in Ada [located in Vojvodina, Serbia], in the same town from where my wife is. Juda was also with me at partisan unit. Today, Juda is my relative because he married my wife’s nephew, and they live in Israel. 

The first time I came to Novi Sad after the war, I remember I immediately wanted to go back to Belgrade in the army. In Novi Sad I came with a military jeep. Unexpectedly I ran across a friend of mine from the camp. I stayed at him a couple of days. A little by little we found a few acquaintances but nobody from my relatives. Our apartment was looted; other people had lived in it.

People from Novi Sad were well-behaved towards me, they invited me to the city hall, and here they offered me a house or an apartment. I was with my employment tied to Serbia so I could not go back nor I could accept anyone else’s house or apartment because I had my own. Later on when I had got transferred to Novi Sad I succeeded as a military man to recover our house and that first only part of the house, and then more and more, at the end I recovered the whole house. That is the house on Karadzic Street, if I had not been a military man I doubt I would have got it back. Nothing from the family property I could find. Everything was looted, a small part of the furniture I found, but not the rugs, pianos, nothing like that.

After the war my friends were mainly Jews and those who had returned to the Jewish Community but also I had very good friends that were not Jewish. I met them mainly at the job, even today I get along with them. Mostly we associated within the Jewish Community; here we celebrated all the Jewish holidays and from non Jewish holidays only the New Year. We had also our private friends who we would visit or who would visit us, or we would go to concerts, movie theaters, theaters and shows.

After the World War II, the chief rabbi of Novi Sad was Dr. Kis. When the war started he run away to Budapest. For some time, he stayed in Novi Sad. Afterwards, he went back to Budapest where his daughter was living, and he died there. Since then we didn’t have rabbi here, but services were held for festivals and Shabbats by members that knew to lead them. After the war, a great number of Jews from Novi Sad immigrated to Israel. Then services were moved to the great hall of our Jewish community, since there were not many people interested.

Today we celebrate festivals in the Jewish community; we invite Chazzan from Belgrade or Subotica [north of Vojvodina, Serbia], sometimes rabbi that works in Belgrade comes and sometimes we celebrate them in simple traditional way. Usually the children from children’s club prepare play suitable for that particular occasion or we celebrate it by giving a lecture about festival.

My wife is called Agneza Sosberger, or Agika as her nickname is. She was born in Ada [located in Vojvodina, Serbia] in 1926. She comes from Neuberger family. Agika’s father was called Miksa Neuberger and her mother Berta Brandajs (maiden name). Miksa was a glassware and porcelain trader.

Her family was an orthodox Jewish family. They kept kosher and were quite religious; they would go often to the synagogue. They observed all holidays, they lit candles on Friday evenings, had barhes, also they would close their store on Sabbath.

When the war [World War II] started she completed the middle school. During the war she was in a camp in Czechoslovakia. We met after the war. While doing the military service at the army headquarters in Nis (Serbia), I met Jelena Viculin, nee Hofman. She was a daughter of Ada’s rabbi and a friend of my Agika. And she arranged that we meet. The first time we met was in Belgrade in ‘Moskva’ hotel. We had got immediately friendly, soon she had invited me to Ada, and not long after we got engaged.

We got married in 1948 in Ada. During the morning we had married in the city hall, and just before lunch we had a religious wedding (in the backyard of their house) under Huppah. A prayer led the ritual, at the wedding there were a lot of acquaintances who had known me even before World War II and there were new acquaintances and friends. It was rather a big wedding.    

Agika was a housewife all her life, in 1950 our son Josip was born and then she was engaged with him.

Some of my friends immigrated to Israel. My wife Agika and I had thoughts about that. We even registered, but I didn’t get the permission from the military so I could not immigrate. After I left the military, somehow the time has passed for that, I don’t know but I feel very sorry for not moving to Israel. Besides Agika’s mother, her aunt and uncle lived with us; they were elderly and didn’t want to leave Novi Sad, Ada, and Becej.

All the time we were in touch with our friends in Israel and visited them often. I and my wife were going to Israel every few years, depending on whether we were able to find accommodation and finances. In 1990 I was invited to museum Yad Vashem, where I received an award, the Golden Menorah for my work during the last couple of years. What I did was collecting the data about Jews from Vojvodina who got killed during the Holocaust and about Jewish life in this part of Serbia. There were about 19000 Jews killed in Vojvodina and by 1989 I had the data about 15000 of them. Today this list is even longer. For me that was the biggest prize for the Jewish work. One more prize I received for my work on saving the data about Jewish life in Vojvodina in 2001. Award is from city of Novi Sad and was presented to me by the mayor. 

The first time I visited Israel was in 1972. It was an official delegation of Vojvodina’s Jews. The motive for the visit was the 30th anniversary of the Raid in Novi Sad and Vojvodina. It was very formal, we were received by the President of the State of Israel, and then we visited Knesset too.

Last time when we were in Israel it was in 1993, then my grandchildren Eli and Dina were in Israel for year, and we went to visit them. We have been on good terms with the consulate and later on with the Israeli embassy in Yugoslavia. They would come to me to a private visit and they visited the Jewish Community. 

The political orientation of Yugoslavia during the wars in Israel was negative and that towards all conducts of Israel. We (the leadership of the Federation of the Jewish Communities of Yugoslavia; I was a member too) tried to somewhat improve that. Often Nahum Goldman would come, he had good contacts with Marshal Tito 12, and through him we tried to accomplish better relations with Israel. It had been permanently promised but never carried out; the anti Israeli position of Yugoslavia lasted till Tito was alive. However the break up of diplomatic relations alone with Israel didn’t effected us, we continued to work normally, only we didn’t have an ambassador in Belgrade but in Budapest and Vienna, we could get visas in Belgium or Israeli embassy in Budapest.

After the war I remained in the military for another 10 years. I worked on military projects, I built military installations. After that period in the army I worked in the construction company ‘Neimar’ in Novi Sad for 5 years. Here I was the manager of a construction site. It was a quite good position. Later on I was asked to work for Novi Sad post office (PTT) as a manager of the construction department. In PTT I had been a manager of the construction department for 24 years before I retired.

Everyone in my family was religious like me. Father had his place in the synagogue, parallel to and above his was my mother’s; I would sit next to him. Mostly I would go to the synagogue on big holidays, sometimes on Fridays evening but very rarely on Saturdays. So, even later, I was active and probably one of the most active members in the Jewish Community in Novi Sad. For 10 years I was the president of the Jewish Community; from 1964 to 1975 and for 40 years a member of the leadership of the Federation of the Jewish Communities of Yugoslavia.

I was never a member of any party and was never involved in politics. In that period under communism I had problems for being a Jew. I was supposed to be dismissed from my job in the post office because I was the president of the Jewish Community at the same time. I filed a complaint then and they hushed it up. I kept on as the president of the Jewish Community and had my job.

When the changes began I had been already retired. In 1981 I became a pensioner. My pension was the same as before. In the meantime I wrote several books that the government subsidized and helped with their publishing. I wrote about the history of the Jewish people in this region and the town of Novi Sad. I wrote also about the synagogues in Vojvodina. All my books were printed here and published; I had got approval for all that.

Unfortunately, the fall of communism was at us very problematic. In 1989 an authoritarian government came that was no better and maybe just worse than the one before. Before 2000 the situation had been very uncomfortable. Many call ups for the army, there were departures to the fronts, senseless wars were led, people were loosing lives and properties, but we again got along.

The Jewish Organization worked around the clock, we received different assistance and sometimes we could also help others. It was quite uncomfortable, difficult, very often people would flee from Yugoslavia, they didn’t want to go to war because they didn’t know why do they fight, it was bad. Unfortunately in this kind of uproar there is always someone with anti Semite ideas. Anti Semite programs appeared on television. Against that we all (including myself) fought. Later they had become less frequent and disappeared, but not completely. That way there was more anti Semitism here for the last 12 years than it was for the last 50 years. For example, not long ago there were anti-Semitic television shows; still in bookstores you can find anti-Semitic books… During Tito’s regime there was anti Israelism but there was no anti Semitism, although anti Israelism is the same thing as anti Semitism but in a different shape.

After the fall of communism many Jews returned to the Community. I personally never hesitated to declare myself as a Jew. During the war, in the camps, after the war, during and after the communism I have always been a Jew and an active member of the Jewish Community.

While I was the president of the Jewish Community we had 300 members, today we have over 600. Today Jewish life in Novi Sad is much more active then it was before. That is because new generation of young people has grown up; they took over the initiatives from us. I am content with them because they work in a positive sense and for the maintenance of the identity of Jewish people. Unfortunately we don’t have much possibility for their education in the religious sense regardless of one being religious or not, we don’t have a religious teacher and we have only one rabbi for the whole country.

Jiri Franek

Jiri Franek
Prague
Czech Republic
Interviewer: Dagmar Greslova
Date of interview: February 2005

Jiri Franek, formerly named Jiri Frischman (83), is a professor of Slavic studies who has lectured at leading German universities, at the Charles University in Prague, has contributed to the Svoboda and Odeon papers, and the Lidove (People’s) publishers.

Today he is retired, but nevertheless is still interested in the issues of his field and participates in conferences about the Holocaust. The interview was made in his Prague apartment, where he lives with his wife.

Jiri Franek belongs to the family of the famous Viktor Vohryzek 1, the founder of the Czech-Jewish movement 2. Jiri Franek has his own theory of Jewishness, according to which Jews don’t form a nation or religion, but a ‘pospolity,’ or community.

For this reason he also refuses to write jew with a capital ‘J.’ He was also brought up according to the Czech-Jewish movement. He rebukes today’s Jewish life for gradually removing itself from Czech life – he feels that he is a Czech of Jewish origin. Conversing with him was very pleasant, because he is capable of telling anecdotes from his life dispassionately and with humor.

[Editor’s note: Upon Mr. Franek’s request we publish his biography using small letter “j” for the word “jew” and the like.]

  • My family background

I don’t remember my grandparents, because I never met them, when I was born they were already dead. I do though know relatively a lot about them, because we had a strong family tradition and after the war I started to become interested in our family’s history. Unfortunately I know more about my mother’s side than my father’s.

I don’t know where my father’s ancestors – the Frischmanns – came from. In the end they lived in Benesov, where my grandfather Adolf Frischmann had a wholesale grain business. The Frischmanns most likely still ‘Germanized’ quite a bit, that is, expressed themselves more in German than in Czech, but their children already tended towards Czech identity, as was the case in those days in many jewish families. Grandpa’s mother tongue was most likely German and as opposed to his children he was inclined towards German. My grandfather’s family wasn’t Orthodox 3.

I know very little about my grandmother, who was named Frischmannova, née Wallersteinova; I don’t remember her first name. She lived with Grandpa in Benesov, and she was likely a housewife. They spoke German at home, although later I came by her poems, which she wrote in Czech. Grandma had a feeling for literature. Later I wanted to publish her poems, but it never worked out.

My father’s oldest brother, Uncle Arnost Frischmann, lived in Benesov, and was married to Otylie Frischmannova, née Krausova. They had a daughter, Anicka Frischmannova. He inherited my grandfather’s wholesale grain business. Uncle Arnost became a member of the resistance and was shot by the Gestapo sort of outside of the jewish quota, that is, not for being jewish.

My uncle was shot during the German occupation before the deportations to concentration camps started. Now in Benesov near Prague there is a memorial hall in which my uncle occupies quite an honored place. I gathered all the relics and reminders of him, because I used to collect those types of things, and already before the war started I buried them, that’s why it all got saved.

The memorial hall for deceased jews is in a former cemetery morgue, and I sent them all the materials I had. It’s not his memorial hall, but in the deceased jews’ memorial there’s simply a section for members of the resistance.

My father’s other brother, my uncle Rudolf Frischmann, graduated from law school. He fought in World War I, during which he met Jan Masaryk 4. In fact, it was said that he saved Masaryk’s life. How, that remained a secret. Of course it could be true, or not, but one thing is certain, and that is that when my uncle Rudolf died, my aunt got a newsstand. I have one or two letters from Jan Masaryk, which I later gave my aunt’s sister.

Rudolf Frischmann’s family continued to have ties with Jan Masaryk long after World War I. Uncle Rudolf’s wife was my mother’s cousin – so we were de facto doubly related. Aunt Marie was born Stukartova, which is a quite famous German name, but she was jewish. My uncle Rudolf and aunt Marie met each other at my parents’ wedding

Unfortunately I was a witness to my uncle Rudolf’s death. In those days they lived in Usti nad Labem, and during the night he had a stroke. My aunt told me to run and go get a doctor, and I had no idea where I should run – they lived in this villa, so my aunt ran out in a nightshirt to show me the way and told me run quickly and tell the doctor to hurry, that for sure it was a heart attack.

She also said that the doctor was a German, but that hopefully he’d come anyways. So I ran to the doctor’s house, in those days there were no after-hours services and one had to go to the doctor’s home, I woke him up and told him that it was urgent, a heart attack. He took his time and kept saying ‘come on, what’s the hurry’, he delayed purposely, so that when he finally arrived, all that was left for him to do was pronounce him dead.

Another of my father’s brothers, Dr. Alois Frischmann, lived in Chocen, right beside Vysoke Myto, where our family lived. My uncle was a completely ‘Czechified’ jew. He was a very good tennis player and was the local tennis functionary. In fact, after the war they named after him a street that ran beside the tennis courts in Chocen, Alois Frischmann Street.

Not long after that, when exactly I’m not sure, as of course no-one announced it to me, they renamed it. Once when the communists were already in power I arrived there on a visit, and what do I see but that it’s been renamed to U Tenisu [Tennis St.], which is what it’s called to this day.

My uncle was never involved with any resistance activities, as opposed to his brother [Arnost Frischmann], but also came to an unfortunate end, because he was denounced by a colleague of his, for continuing to practice at a time when jews were no longer allowed to practice medicine.

I still remember that, he simply kept on practicing despite the ban, because people were used to him, and he must have been a good doctor. That’s quite obvious, because all warnings of ‘it’s dangerous for you, and for me’ were for nought. People said ‘Mr. Doctor, you have to see me. You have to come. And you say you have a jewish star 5? So come at night.’ In the end the whole town knew about it.

Chocen had a population of six or eight thousand, and no one said a thing, until one fellow doctor denounced him. I know his name, but I don’t want to name him, because his descendants would want proof, and that of course doesn’t exist. Because of this my uncle was shot before the start of the Holocaust.

My father, Alfred Frischman, was born in 1881, I’m not sure exactly where, but after getting married he spent the rest of his life in Vysoke Myto. His mother tongue was Czech. My father was a merchant, a tradesman – he wasn’t able to study because his parents couldn’t afford it. He was in business together with my mother, they had a company where they manufactured and also sold lingerie, bedding and towels. We manufactured it, and in the surrounding villages they stitched monograms onto it.

My father was a leftist in his thinking, he was apparently a free-thinker, his library testifies to this. He was a bit of a ‘pub athlete.’ I remember his large library, which was full of Czech books, he had complete collections by Macha 6, Sova [Antonin Sova (1864 – 1928)], his favourite poet Bezruc 7, free-thinking authors from Hasek’s 8 circle – Kulda and Saur.

To this day I have books from his library that weren’t lost during the war, saved and given to me by a friend of mine. My father’s library was a testament to his total assimilation. He wasn’t anti-religious, more like non-religious. My Czech identity comes for the most part from my father.

Otherwise my father was apparently a political person, very politically aware, he had wanted to study, but since his two older brothers were already studying, the family couldn’t afford it. Rudolf studied law, Alois medicine, and there was no money left for the third brother, so he couldn’t study, which bothered him for the rest of his life.

Dad was an athlete, he was friends with Laufer, the first Czechoslovak sports commentator, who broadcast mainly soccer and hockey on the radio. Laufer was a jew and Dad was a good friend of his, and constantly boasted about it. I don’t exactly know why my father didn’t fight in the war, but he wasn’t in the army, although both of his brothers fought in the war.

My father and mother met at the first All-Sokol Slet [Rally] 9 held after World War I. I don’t really know if my father had some girls before that or not, probably he did, because he was quite a handsome man. However, Mother did later confide in my brother and me that she had had several boyfriends, in fact I know some of them by name.

However, because of her parents there could be no thought of her marrying a non-jew. In those days parents were obeyed, so in the end she was happy when she met a person who was jewish – and therefore satisfied her parents – while also suiting her – they understood each other thanks to their common opinion regarding Czech-jewishness.

Unfortunately my father died prematurely at 31, of appendicitis. When my father died, he was cremated according to my mother’s wishes, which in their generation was a common thing in our family: that the funeral was carried out with an urn, as opposed to a strict jewish ritual. My mother believed that when a person dies they have to be cremated, because she was afraid that people buried in a coffin could revive, and that it must be a horrible thing.

A cremated person has the certainty that he’s dead, and can’t wake up in a coffin. Though my father was cremated, the ceremony was blessed by a rabbi. I don’t remember anymore who was rabbi at the time, but it was quite a big funeral, which started in Vysoke Myto. I was small when my father died, so my impression at the time was more of some celebration than my father’s funeral.

In my mother’s family it’s more jewish, but at the same time more Czech-jewish, because my grandmother was born Filipina Vohryzkova, sister of Viktor Vohryzek, the founder of the Czech-jewish movement. Grandma’s mother tongue was therefore Czech, that’s something that was emphasized in their family.

The whole family had a clear impetus from Viktor Vohryzek, it was a programmatically Czech-jewish family, still very religious, however anti-Orthodox and anti-Zionist. My grandma studied at a girls’ home economics school, and when she married my grandfather, Moritz Pfeifer, became a housewife. She died very young, of cancer, long before I was born. Her grave is in the jewish cemetery in Pardubice.

My grandmother’s brother, Viktor Vohryzek, was born in 1864 in Prestavlky. Our family considered him to be the founder of the Czech-jewish movement. Later, when I began studying it, I found that he wasn’t by far the founder of the movement, but his significance over preceding generations was that he brought Czech-Judaism into the centre of political events.

This was confirmed by his successor, the head of the Czech-jewish movement, Jindrich Kohn 10. Viktor Vohryzek was a great admirer of Tomas G. Masaryk 11 and even exchanged several letters with him. He and his colleague, Jindrich Kohn, had differing opinions on Zionism – Viktor was decidedly an anti-Zionist. Although he was very religious, he was also anti-Orthodox.

In opposition to this Jindrich Kohn expressed an interesting idea, which I think is true, that Zionism is a type of assimilation. He claimed that jews don’t want to be anything extra, and so have two choices – the first, assimilants, become part of another nation. The others, the Zionists, want to build a new state and nation in Palestine. Therefore he perceived both as assimilation.

Viktor Vohryzek had a prominent place in the entire family, his memory had to be honored. A typical example of this was the wedding of my father’s brother, Alois Frischmann, who wasn’t at all a blood relative of the Vohryzka family. According to the custom of those days, someone played matchmaker and suggested a girl who would make a suitable bride for him.

He went to have a look at her and they ‘fell for each other.’ Alois then went to see my parents so that he could ask their advice. The first question was: ‘Is she jewish?’ and he said ‘Yes.’ ‘And is she Czech?’ and he said ‘No.’ That was a complete catastrophe! He had to promise that his wife was going to learn Czech.

Later she really did learn Czech, and quite well, because she came to Chocen, to a solely Czech town. In this way Czech-Judaism was propagated not only in the Vohryzka family, but then also in the Pfeifer family, in the Frischmann family, in short it was all under the influence of Viktor Vohryzek.

Then I found out that Vohryzek’s religious life was purely jewish, which is interesting, how quickly it went. He left behind extensive works – stories, essays, I think not very good poetry, two dramas and many long theoretical and controversial articles.

Viktor Vohryzek practiced medicine in Pardubice. I have a very romantic impression of him. I don’t know if all the legends about him are true – but it was said that he used to have his carriage stop under a streetlamp and he would sit and read in its light. In this fashion he for example studied philosophy and other texts that interested him.

How much truth there is in this we’ll now never know, but since the profession of a doctor is quite difficult and time-consuming, it could have happened. By coincidence, as I later found out, Viktor Vohryzek once treated my wife’s mother.

Viktor Vohryzek married and had a son, Jiri Vohryzek. Jiri was a chemical engineer in Pardubice. Jiri’s daughter Vitezslava, the granddaughter of Viktor Vohryzek, was a dentist in Prague.

My mother’s family was pronouncedly religious, and for them jewishness was exclusively just a religion. Viktor Vohryzek led polemics with Zionism and was pretty well its enemy. His articles listed all of the negatives, unfortunately some of them, actually almost all, are true to this day.

That they won’t all fit [jews into Palestine], that the country won’t provide them a livelihood, that there is a shortage of water there, that there are Arabs there who won’t give up and retreat. But near the end of his life he said, ‘Well all right, if you want, why couldn’t those jews who consider themselves to be a nation, why couldn’t they live in Israel. You may be successful, but you’ll have to make peace with the Arabs.’ It always takes two to make peace.

His successor, Jindrich Kohn, wrote the philosophical work Assimilation and The Ages, in which he develops his theory of Czech-jewishness. He claims that Zionism is nothing more than assimilation. This interesting theory in turn influenced the whole Vohryzka family.

He [Jindrich Kohn] had a grand theory of assimilation, in which he claimed that jews are an abnormal nation, he calls it the ‘jewish clan,’ which I don’t consider to be very appropriate terminology. But he did perceive one important thing, that jews are neither a nation nor a religion, it’s something else, for which a term has to be invented.

According to him jews are brought together by the ‘jewish clan.’ It spread throughout the entire Vohryzek family, that Zionists really don’t want anything other than to be a nation like everyone else. So they wouldn’t be divided, so they could assimilate as a whole, as opposed to the assimilationists that want to assimilate as individuals.

I think that it gripped our family, with the exception of Vera [Vera Bysicka, stepsister of Jiri Franek’s mother], who via her Germanic roots came by a somewhat mystic Judaism. Otherwise the whole family considered itself to be Czech. I think that this almost certainly applies to not only just our family. Zionism and assimilation are no longer viewed as opposites. This was a novelty, for I did live through times where they were perceived as opposites.

Viktor Vohryzek was at first uncompromising when it came to the question of nationality. Later that changed, somehow for him jewishness was something completely obvious, but nationality was Czech. Jewishness was for him simply and solely a religion, he didn’t accept any other view.

He had an enormous influence with his theory of jewish ‘pospolity,’ or community. Unfortunately today he is fading into obscurity, although occasionally somewhere they cite him and write about his life. Of course things evolved, when Zionism came about, all jews retreated from their positions a bit, they allowed that he who wants, who can and who was raised that way, can be a Zionist, can feel himself to be a member of the jewish nation. I have my own theory on this, I claim that jews are neither a nation nor a religion, that it’s something that has yet to be named.

Viktor Vohryzek died in 1918 in Pardubice, so I never knew him. I do remember his brother Max Vohryzek a bit, he lived a little ways away from us in Vysoke Myto and had a wife named Hermina. I also vaguely remember the children of Viktor’s other brother, Lev Vohryzek.

Viktor Vohryzek has a beautiful monument, built for him by the Czech-jewish League at the jewish cemetery in Pardubice. The family grave of Max Vohryzek and Hermina Vohryzkova is right beside Viktor’s monument. All three were buried according to jewish rituals, in their generation this was still viewed as a matter of fact.

For this reason I often visit the jewish cemetery in Pardubice, and in fact lately I have been participating in an attempt to revive the jewish cemetery and jewish life in Pardubice, in which the non-jew Tyc helped me. We wanted to found a ‘Victor Vohryzek Society.’ However Tyc died and with that it all collapsed, because he didn’t have a chance to initiate a successor. What’s more, there are perhaps only two jews in all of Pardubice, and I can no longer handle it alone.

My grandfather, Moritz Pfeifer, was a baker in Nove Hrady. There is a beautiful rococo chateau there. Relatively long after the war [WWII] I visited the town and asked about if anyone remember baker Pfeifer. I found an old man, who told me where Moritz Pfeifer had a window out of which he sold his goods, where he had his ovens and so on.

When my grandfather’s daughter, that is my mother, was of marriage age, he decided that he had to do something for her. He bought a house in Vysoke Myto that for those times and in that town was quite spacious. It was a one-story house with a large tract of land in the back where he built a bakery. When he died in 1921, the ovens were sold at a fraction of their value and it was a horrible family and financial calamity.

Only a tall factory chimney remained, which I then inherited. According to the wishes of the National Committee I had to have that huge chimney demolished at my own expense, which was a very hair-raising and wild experience.

Grandpa Pfeifer had five children. Two daughters were from his first marriage. One married some Bysicky and they moved away to Germany. I still to this day keep in touch with my great-grandniece, Vera Bysicka, who lives in Berlin.

First she became Germanized, and as opposed to her ancestors, then jewified. Now she is a bigoted jewess. She travels to Israel, so far she hasn’t moved there yet. She is a very intelligent, educated young lady. She translates from Russian for a leading German publishing house.

Grandpa Pfeifer lived long enough to see my brother: he’s on a photograph, holding him. He died in 1921. When I was born, I had not even one grandfather or grandmother. So from this viewpoint I’m an orphan.

My mother had a much older sister, named Tyna Feiglova. Aunt Tyna was childless. She had a junk shop, which of course one wasn’t allowed to say in front of her. One had to say that she had a ‘store with used and new clothing,’ because she always had about five new outfits there. Her store was on Maislova Street in Prague, now there’s some sort of company there, I don’t even know which. It was a huge store, with two display windows and two entrances, and Aunt Feiglova also lived there.

My aunt’s husband was a businessman. He went bankrupt and eventually died. Aunt Tyna went through tough times, but got through them. That junk shop did very well for her, she became very rich. I still remember her, as an old lady, in tall lace-up boots and long skirts. She was always terribly strait-laced, she would never in her life have worn short sleeves. During the last years of her life she was apathetic, but whenever we would come to visit, we had to say, ‘I kiss your hand, auntie.’

Tyna we called her, and she would pull out two hundred-crown bills, one for my brother and one for me. These days that would be at least five hundred [500 Czech crowns (CZK)]. We always looked forward to having money in Prague. Only we were deathly afraid that we would have to sleep at her place when we came for a visit from Vysoke Myto to Prague. Her apartment, you see, which was also on Maislova Street, was horribly infested with bedbugs.

It stank of the petroleum that it was wiped, sprayed and gassed with. This was completely futile, because the entire neighborhood was infested. Otherwise she had a nice apartment. But I remember the bedbugs to this day, there I could have trained for the concentration camp.

I can’t stand those little critters, because of them I didn’t sleep for months on end in the concentration camp. When I had a bit of luck I had a beautiful sleep, and when we came the second day, the bedbugs were back. So it was a completely futile battle that my aunt waged.

Then my mother was born, she was named Hana Pfeiferova. She was from the second marriage. She must have been a pretty woman, she got a lot of attention, even some major wanted to marry her. By that time my mother didn’t feel the need to have a jewish husband.

Of course she considered herself to be jewish, but she was absolutely non-religious and assimilated. Of course her parents insisted that she must marry a jew. She was very lucky to have met my father, the man of her dreams, who was at the same time a jew.

Grandpa bought my mother a house and set her up with a shop, hand embroidery – sort of a little factory. Mother called herself a hand embroidery industry. She took orders and had three or four workers that did the sewing. They sewed lingerie, bedding, towels.

Then they would be printed with patterns, distributed among the villages and the country women would embroider them during the winter. At one time the firm was actually quite prosperous and we supplied Mrs. Hana Benesova [wife of Edvard Benes 12, president of the Czechoslovak Republic] with tablecloths, napkins and suchlike, I remember that.

She even exported her goods to America, which should have and could have changed my life. But it didn’t, because of various scams with affidavits that were common in those days. Before the war, at its beginning and during the war, while it was still possible, before the Germans arrived, when someone wanted to move out of the country, first the other country had to accept him.

So these comments, like why didn’t you escape and so on, are completely senseless, because the Germans wouldn’t let you out and were shooting people at the border, and other countries weren’t accepting jewish refugees. If and when someone had the luck to get across the border, he was immediately imprisoned there and then sent back.

The only way was if you had an ‘affidavit.’ This was a confirmation by someone trustworthy, who had to prove to the authorities that he had enough money and resources, and was willing to feed, clothe, house, basically support you, so you won’t be a burden on the state.

Mother’s company exported to America, and there was some man there, Egon Waldemar Muller, I remember his name to this day. Once after my father’s death, when Egon Waldemar Muller came to Prague on business, my mother, who now led the family business, realized that she wouldn’t be able to communicate with him, because she didn’t speak German.

So she asked me to do it, even though I spoke very little German, only on a fourth or fifth grade level. I summoned up the courage and met with him. He was delighted by such a small boy dealing with him. I even spoke to him by phone. He gave me a pocket knife, then he gave me a jacket with a zipper, today everyone has one, but in those days it was something unheard of.

He became very fond of me, and when the situation here started becoming very bad, he wrote my mother that he couldn’t afford to support our entire family, because the rules in those days were very strict in determining this, but that he was inviting the youngest – which was me – that he was sending me an affidavit.

That affidavit never arrived. Of course it’s possible that he never sent it, but from what I knew of him it seems most likely that he did send it. The thing was, affidavits were often stolen. The same thing happened to Pavel Eisner 13, for whom some writers obtained an affidavit, which never arrived.

Pavel Eisner, who survived thanks to Czech doctors, found out after the war that his affidavit was stolen by another Pavel Eisner who then managed to travel out of the country with it. In fact Pavel Eisner met him after the war. So I live with the fact that some other Georg [Jiri] Frischman, which also wasn’t a rare name, or someone who slightly changed it and made it into for example Josef from Jiri, left the country instead of me.

I’m one hundred percent convinced, without the slightest doubt in my mind, that Mr. Egon Waldemar Muller sent me that affidavit. Nothing prevented him from saying, ‘Look, it just isn’t possible.’ I remember that he was extremely fond of me, he said: ‘That’s a bright boy, he’s bold and capable.’ Beside my timid mother I looked like a particularly daring young man.

So I don’t believe that he would have written: ‘I’ve sent an affidavit.’ and not sent it. That affidavit most certainly got sent. Where though did it end up? Perhaps it was confiscated by the Germans for some reason, or if it arrived and some other Frischman left the country with it, that’s something that will remain a mystery.

My mother managed at the last moment to ‘sell’ the firm to one of our employees, so the company existed even after our departure. She sold it to our best embroiderer, Muhlbachova – who had a German name, but wasn’t German – and her brother. He was a dance master, she also had artistic tendencies, which was evident from her beautiful embroidery.

For example, when we had an order for bedding from the president’s wife, Mrs. Benesova, it always had to be embroidered by Mrs. Muhlbachova, because she was the best. She also danced with her brother, I remember that. In the end the Germans confiscated the company from her anyways. When I visited them after the war, I found out that the fact that they got the firm from us caused them more harm than good.

My mother was a kind woman, and extremely hard-working. She took care of the household and firm, and when my father died, we had the misfortune that our so-called business representative stole some money. Suddenly we had debts. Mother paid it all off, to this day I remember that when we were due to leave for the concentration camp, we all thought that we were going to get through it with no problem.

We were even annoyed with our mother for saying: ‘If I don’t survive this, I’m telling you now, I don’t have even a crown in debts.’ But after the war people appeared with debt notes that weren’t real. At that time I paid off about 50 thousand, because I didn’t want to argue.

But it was completely obvious that these notes were created by my mother for the case that if someone found our property with people that we had hidden it with, those people could claim that they had it as collateral for money they had loaned us. Of course in reality they hadn’t lent us anything.

I don’t think, though, that these people meant it badly, they simply forgot how it had originally been arranged before the war, and thought that I actually owed them the money.

I recall that when the Germans arrived on 15th March 1939, my mother told my brother and me that if the soldiers started touching and molesting her, after all she was still a nice-looking woman, that we had to stay calm and not to take any notice and leave it alone.

I still argue about that, we had no idea that the Germans would be killing, and what’s more, in such a fashion that we would arrive in Auschwitz and that same day be sent to the gas chambers, that was beyond imagining...My mother has a memorial plaque in the jewish cemetery in Pardubice on which it says that she died in Auschwitz.

My mother had two younger brothers. The older of the two, Josef Pfeifer, became a doctor. They even wrote about him in the papers, that during World War II he treated some resistance fighters. He was a familiar figure in the Vysocany neighborhood, on Vysocany Square [after the war renamed to People’s Militias Square, today OSN [UN] Square] there was Briedl’s Pharmacy, in which he had an apartment.

My uncle was a well-known humanitarian who treated the poor for free, and that isn’t just some made up story that people tell, because after his death it was written about it in the papers. Despite this he became relatively wealthy. He had a beautiful apartment and a car; in those days having a car meant also having a chauffeur. His apartment was beautifully furnished and arranged by an architect.

From his belongings I still have his library and furniture. He probably had larger ambitions, because he knew many university professors and doctors. His jewishness consisted of his inviting everyone over every Christmas and New Year’s. Of course at midnight there would be a traditional Christian soup called ‘prdelacka’ [literally ‘ass soup’].

He lived outside of Prague with some lady pharmacist, who of course wasn’t jewish and so his parents were always talking him out of it and forbidding him to marry her. He never did marry her, and stayed single. He died right before the war of heart disease.

Mother’s other brother, Leo Pfeifer, also had a girlfriend that wasn’t jewish, who he ended up marrying. Her name was Karla Rulfova, a poor typist. She was an immensely beautiful woman. Their marriage was a good one, and not only did she save him from the concentration camp, but at the end of the war also gave birth to his son. When I was in the concentration camp she sent me lots of care packages.

Thanks to his wife not being jewish, my uncle stayed with her in Prague. In fact they had a child during the war, which was extremely dangerous, because it was illegal for an Aryan and non-Aryan to have a child together.

Aunt Karla Pfeiferova came from a bigoted Catholic family. She remained a faithful Catholic her whole life, but one that was completely jewified. She observed Catholic holidays and visited jewish cemeteries, where she lit candles according to Catholic rites. After the war she constantly reminisced and kept saying, ‘My jews, where are my jews?’

So it would very much interest me how it looked when in her nineties she was dying in a hospice. The others would have constantly heard her, for she complained endlessly and wanted to know about those people, so she kept asking, ‘Where are my jews, where are my jews?’

When I returned from the concentration camp, my first refuge was at Uncle Leo’s and Aunt Karla’s. At first they were frightened, that I might have some sort of disease, because their son was small, having been born just before the end of the war. Later we had a bit of a disagreement, when I brought over my future wife. In the end it turned around, and my aunt and wife became fast friends.

Both were non-jews. After that my aunt wouldn’t let anyone say an unkind word about her and my wife used to go take care of my aunt when she wasn’t feeling well. It was truly some sort of Christian-jewish symbiosis. The Vohryzek and Pfeifer families were a source of deep feelings of both Czech and jewish identity.

  • Growing up

I was born on 24th November 1922, in Vysoke Myto, up above Pardubice. Our jewish Community was in Luze. The more significant holidays, if my memories of early childhood serve me right, were celebrated in Pardubice. There I had my bar mitzvah.

I have this feeling that I was born in a completely different town, country, on a different planet than all of my current friends, who I think grew up in similar conditions, and yet recall with great sentiment all the jewish holidays and jewish life. How they walked the streets with a cap – a kippah on their head, anti-Semitism, how they were persecuted. We lived and entirely Christian lifestyle. I have no memories of anti-Semitism from my youth, of course at the end of the 1930s that changed very rapidly, from day to day.

We never denied that we were jews, everyone knew that about us. It was no secret or a taboo that couldn’t be talked about. After the war I found that people avoided using the word jew. Because ‘jew’ became a swearword. The tendency not to use the word ‘jew’ existed even before the war, for example our jewish community in Luze, to which we belonged, called itself an Israelite community.

On my report card I had ‘denomination of Moses.’ These avoidances existed even then, and I think that jews chose the right approach when, as opposed to the Gypsies, who went at it from the opposite angle, they said, so what, we’re jews and if that’s a swearword for someone, that’s his problem. It changes nothing.

The word jew has become relatively common even in everyday life. And yet I do occasionally meet people, though they mean well, who say, ‘Well, you know, he’s of your faith.’ They wouldn’t say the word jew for anything. Or they say, ‘Well, him too, he’s like you, you know. He’s the likes of what you are.’ And similar verbal detours, trying to get out of saying the word jew. Especially the first while after the year 1945, that was something like a curse.

I have a few memories of some jewish holidays from earliest childhood. I recall having to read the Haggadah, that I said the mah nishtanah. But that’s about it. We didn’t have a local synagogue, only a prayer hall rented out in a private home. Once in a while, about once every three months or so, mother would send us off to the prayer hall, especially after our father died. My jewish life began when, after my father’s death, I found lots of Czech-jewish literature in his library and began thinking about it.

When my father died, my mother decided that we were going to have bar mitzvahs. My brother at least had it in some sort of celebratory fashion and according to custom got long pants [Long pants were a proclamation that according to jewish ritual, a boy had become a man]. For me there were no long pants left, so I had short pants.

I travelled to go see the rabbi in Pardubice and he told me what I would have to say. He gave it to me in Hebrew, of which I couln’t read a single letter. So he said, ‘You’ll learn it next time.’ The next time I came and stuttered. He said, ‘Nothing doing, you’ll have to read from the paper.’ I read it from the paper, and when I was finished, he said to me, ‘You’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever had here.’ So that was my pre-Hitler farewell to religion.

New Year [Rosh Hashanah] was also observed, I don’t even know why, and the Long Day [Yom Kippur] was also observed. These two were observed and my mother had a theory on this, that once a year she cleaned the whole house, so that once a year the body’s insides also has to be cleaned out [fasting], that it’s not so much about God as about that good cleaning out.

So we had to obediently starve until evening, until we got to eat again. That was really our entire religious life, because we went to the prayer hall once or twice a year, no more than that. The others [jews] were the same. Quite often there weren’t enough for a ‘minyan.’ Two or three people would show up and then had to go home again. The rabbi, who used to travel from Luze, was annoyed that he had to come when no one showed up at the prayer hall.

For example, I used to go do ‘schmerkust’ at Easter. Some boys would always come and say, ‘Come on Jiri, let’s go.’ So I took my ‘pomlazka’ [willow reeds about a meter long, braided together, that boys use to ceremonially whip girls as an Easter tradition], some sort of basket from home, and set out with the other guys, and would get eggs, a one or five crown coin – the latter rarely – occasionally a twenty or fifty, sometimes a piece of chocolate or candy, and with that triumphantly return home and that was that.

At Christmas we had a tree and always played the German song ‘Stille Nacht’ [Silent Night], a favourite in Bohemia. I did however have to have a bar mitzvah. So this was a mixed Czech-jewish upbringing, in spite of us all being jews. It wasn’t until my mother’s generation that people started to marry non-jews – in my grandparent’s generation that was unthinkable.

A student organization was founded in Vysoke Myto, originally it was Communist, then anti-German resistance; most of those people paid with their lives. This progressiveness, in quotes or not, had its roots in the past and was evident in that we for example refused religion. This ‘healthy core’ – this is how the best Communists were called – either never went to religious services at all, or went and caused a commotion.

All of us did this, whether Catholic, Protestants or jews. Thanks to these progressive ideas at the Vysoke Myto high school, I lost whatever jewish upbringing, religion, that existed there. There were interesting counterpoints, on the one hand were we the youth, there were maybe three or five of us at jewish religion classes, and we would say: ‘Why do I need, Alef, Bet [Hebrew alphabet] for me it’s enough to know A, B, C, D’ and similar things.

We were terribly radical, because of this later I never understood Hebrew at all. On the other hand there were our teachers, who were very liberal and understood each other. Always before religion class, the Catholic priest, Mr. Moucka, the Protestant minister and Rabbi Lewi would meet, walk together in the hall or outside and lead long discussions in deep mutual understanding.

Our family would meet at our house in Vysoke Myto. At Christmastime there were always thirty or forty people, jews and non-jews. Let’s say that there were eighty percent jews, maybe ninety. But for example, my parents’ and uncles’ friend Franta Ambroz wasn’t jewish, but would come over to our place for Christmas.

We were a sort of family centre, where everyone met. We even slept on the floor, because there were so many of us. At Christmas we served typical jewish food, roasted goose livers with whipped goose fat gravy. Everyone looked forward to it. Our neighbor, Mrs. Koudelova, who lived below us, used to cook for us.

  • During the war

We had a nice one-story house with a large courtyard. My mother got it from my grandfather [Moritz Pfeifer] as her dowry. It was a huge farmyard, in one section we had four rooms and an enormous kitchen, where the maids lived. In another part of the building were workshops where my mother conducted her business.

When Hitler was advancing and poverty came, we started to rent some of the rooms, where the workshops were. At that time my mother’s business was barely scraping by, we were poor and my mother had to let the servants go. The Germans moved Mr. Klazar, who worked for the revenue department and was an excellent person, into the space beside us.

There was a boarded-up door between his room and ours. We made that boarding removable. When the Germans prohibited us from listening to the radio, we used to go over to Mr. Klazar’s and listen to [Radio] London.

We were left with three rooms – the kitchen, living room, and bedroom. At this time my mother was still trying to run the business, the living room was used for receiving visits from rich customers from the surrounding region, who were for example having nightshirts embroidered.

Thus the house progressively shrank, until we were left with two rooms – the kitchen and one other room. The room was used as the receiving salon, and we lived in the kitchen. When some lady customer came, we poor boys had no place to hide.

In the end the Germans forced us out of even there, we had to move out. The Germans took over the entire building and moved in various families we didn’t know. One of the meagrest apartments, out on the courtyard gallery, was given to a lady whose children had unfortunately died, she had tuberculosis and had to be in a sanatorium. We reached an agreement with her that she would rent the apartment to us until she returned. Only thanks to this, were we able to remain in the house where I had been born.

We never had a nanny in the proper sense of the word, but our family servant Marie Polakova, who we called Mary, had an enormous influence on our upbringing. She lived in our family her entire life and also helped out in my mother’s siblings’ households. She became a part of the family. She brought up loads of children, who except for me all died in the Holocaust. Marie lived with us, in the kitchen. She became such a part of our family that she never had any boyfriend, never married, which really, from her viewpoint, was a tragedy.

When my father died, my mother had financial problems, she needed money for the household and for the business. She had to borrow money, the poor woman didn’t suspect that in the end the Germans would take it all from us anyways. Mary had some savings, so she lent us 30 thousand, which was an enormous sum in those days.

When I returned after the war, as the only family member left, Mary acted very offended. I had no idea why. Later, when she sensed that she would soon die, she wrote me that she was very annoyed that I acted in such a way, that I undoubtedly have money and that I refuse to return it to her.

I set out to go see her, her house was near Vysoke Myto, and there it came out that my mother had paid off the debt before the war, but she had given it to Mary’s sister. Of course her sister hadn’t given her anything and kept it all, because they had had a falling out. So I promised her, that although I was studying and had no money, that I’ll get some from somewhere and pay the debt off.

After all, by then that thirty thousand was worth much less than when she had lent it to us. I paid it to her and she was all overjoyed that it hadn’t been us, but her sister who had betrayed her. It was easier for her to accept her sister’s betrayal.

Shortly after it was all explained, she broke her leg and had to go to the hospital. There they told her that at her age her situation was hopeless, that she would soon die. I wrote her that I and my wife were coming to visit her. My wife bathed her and brushed her hair, Mari was overjoyed to see us, and right after our visit she died. I think that she was holding on to life so that she could see me again. So in the end we made peace.

We also had a German tutor so that we would learn German. We also had maids living in our household, who took care of it and cleaned, of course they didn’t have to do the laundry or iron, that was all done as part of the firm’s activities. When our father died and our mother didn’t have enough time for us, the maids would make us lunch and so on. Later, when we were badly off, and Hitler was approaching, our mother did everything herself and had no servants.

Up to the year 1938 I have no real memories of anti-Semitism. When I really try, I can remember two or three incidents. In fact, I remember my mother once saying, as we were talking about school, ‘He’s an anti.’ And I said, ‘What’s anti?’ And she said, ‘Well, an anti-Semite.’ And I replied, ‘So why are you saying anti? And what is it?’ So she named some teachers, who in her opinion were anti-Semitic.

As I later had the chance to find out, it was partly true and partly not. Because for example Professor Jedlicka was very right-wing, but a pronounced Semitophile. He used to come visit us during the war, which would provoke the Germans, that he was visiting jews.

Another professor, Jelinek, perhaps he was an anti-Semite, but his anti-Semitism consisted entirely of one thing: when we were studying antiquity [at school in history class] and jews, he had this peculiar trait, he swayed from side to side so that one was afraid that he would fall over. He used to rub his hands together and say, ‘Jews in those days, they were still courageous, and tried to fight for their freedom.’ and so on.

So his anti-Semitism was all based on the fact that he contrasted jews of ancient times and modern jews. The biggest anti-Semite I met later, my mother didn’t even know him yet, was Professor Zima, about whom another leftist and progressive professor, Behounek, the brother of the literary scholar, wrote that he was truly a nasty person.

I also recall this one boy, whom I used to run into in this garden through which led a walkway, and who would always jump me and say, ‘OK, Frischman, now I’ve got you.’ He would always start to beat me, and I was of course afraid of him. He never once said ‘you jew.’ To this day I don’t know why he used to do this.

One day I got up the guts and started to fight back, and beat him up, from that time on he left me alone. After the war I returned and he said, all chummily, ‘Jirko, how’s it going, you survived it, wow, you’re amazing!’ Was he an anti-Semite? Wasn’t he? That was it for anti-Semitic incidents.

I remember, in public school as it was then called, my best friend was from the poorest of families, and I had a soccer ball and he didn’t, he always ran over and said, ‘Jirko, c’mon, let’s go kick the ball around.’ I wanted to be Planicka, a famous soccer player, and he wanted to be Puc, left forward.

The two of us would kick the ball around for hours. He would attack the net and I would be in goal. When I was leaving school with all 1’s [straight A’s] and he had flunked out, I remember him complaining, ‘Jew Frischman has all 1’s and I’m flunking.’

Sometimes a ‘religious battle’ would break out in our class, and we would taunt each other – ‘Jew, jew, the devil’s gonna come for you.’ ‘Catholic, Catholic, sat on a stick.’ And ‘Evangelic,’ [Protestant] – now came a rude word – ‘shit in a kbelik [pail].’ After that things began to quickly change, as soon as Hitler came to power. At the same time, our jewishness, which had been on the decline, began to experience a resurgence.

The writer Petr Bezruc was a favorite of my father’s and I inherited this from him. I was never able to grasp whether Bezruc was or wasn’t an anti-Semite. It wasn’t until adulthood, when I looked into it, that I came to the joyful conclusion that he wasn’t. He summarized it in the sentence:

‘I, Vaclav Vasek,’ that was his real name, ‘could never have been an anti-Semite. Petr Bezruc had to be one.’ Which is to say that as a poet he had to express feelings. I was very glad that Vaclav Vasek wasn’t an anti-Semite. But then I came by his letters. I had also corresponded with him a little, before his death, and when I worked at a publishing house I acquired his letters to Bohumil Mathes, those are very anti-Semitic. I was very disappointed that my idol had once again shown himself as an anti-Semite.

After the annexation of the Czech border areas, I was sitting with a few friends at my home, and we were debating what was going to happen and how things were going to be, what the Slovaks were going to do, how to act when the Slovaks break away, and so on.

I recall that on the day of the occupation of Czechoslovakia, we were standing outside of the high school, because the doors still hadn’t been opened. And this one old friend, who after the annexation of the border areas had sat at our place and discussed politics, suddenly says, ‘You jews are now going to have to hang onto your hats, just wait, you’re going to have to hang onto your hats.’ It wasn’t just a statement of fact, it was ugly.

Things changed from day to day, they truly did, because so many times before he had been over at our place as a friend, and the next day he was saying, ‘You jews are going to have to hang onto your hats.’ Then it started. I could still attend school, one professor there was unpleasant and no matter what I did, I was the bad one and according to him I didn’t know anything.

I had two friends, one was the son of a Protestant minister, the other the son of a bigoted Catholic, we were this funny threesome. Our professor was beside himself, the Protestant didn’t bother him that much, as much as the fact that a son from a bigoted Catholic family is friends with a jew. He persecuted all three of us, of course this was nothing in comparison to what was to follow.

The fact is, that thanks to this the jews came together, before we hadn’t really associated with each other that much, even though we knew about each other. We occasionally played a game of tennis or walked about the promenade, but there were no jews among my friends.

This now changed, because more and more we were herded into a group. For me it had a fateful significance that all of those young people were suddenly leftists. I still recall how one Karel said about another Karel: ‘You know, so what? Karel will inherit the shop, and when we’re going to have Communism, then Karel will be store manager. Practically nothing will change, in fact he’ll be better off, because now, when there’s a crisis, he’s got to spend his own money, this way the state will help him out.’

This was the notion of communism. It had great significance for me, also because there was one beautiful girl there, Hanka, a painter. To this day I have a painting she did, of my brother. Hanka was going out with this one high school professor, who used to hang around with us, he wasn’t afraid.

He associated with us and promoted Communism and Marxism. An ironic twist of fate is that this person committed suicide after the year 1945. Everyone said that he did it because he was persecuted by the Communists. He had later returned to his mother’s faith, who had been a very bigoted Catholic – but that was only half of the truth.

The other half is that he reproached himself for not marrying that painter, Hanka. That if he would have married her like he wanted, she would have survived, because mixed marriages had a greater chance of survival. At that time no one knew that, though, how could he have known? On the contrary, he didn’t want to complicate her life either, that she would be accused of sullying the Aryan race.

Meeting this professor at the beginning of the war was one of the things that led me to further activities in the [Communist] Party in the concentration camp. When we came to Auschwitz, the Party promptly changed into an illegal resistance movement and united itself with Czech jews, German jews, with Zionists. Something that after the war was called the National Front, or People’s Front was created there.

The resistance movement was initiated and organized by the Party. We were very strongly organized. Now they don’t want to recognize the resistance at Birkenau 14, it’s a sad chapter, how one set of communists says, ‘We were the true resistance.’ Other communists, ‘No, you weren’t the true resistance, we were the true resistance.’ I got into the resistance via the Party. No rebellion took place, because we found out that this time we really were being transported off to work. But the resistance was prepared.

I had a brother, Frantisek, a year older than me, who was more capable, smarter, better at school and was tall and strong, a real looker. He attracted girls from at least twenty kilometers around. There wasn’t a one that he missed, and there definitely weren’t any indications of anti-Semitism there.

My brother Frantisek finished the eighth year of high school and in 1940 graduated, in Vysoke Myto. Our uncle, Josef Pfeifer, a wealthy doctor from Vysocany, wanted to pay my brother’s way to the Swiss border. He even found a guide that for a lot of money promised to lead him there.

From Switzerland he was then supposed to go to some addresses in France. God only knows how it would have ended up. It was all arranged, and our family knew about it, but said, ‘In any case he has to finish his studies and graduate.’ It was a month before my brother’s graduation, so it had to be delayed by a month. But during this time the Germans occupied Paris.

And it was Paris where my brother was supposed to be going. If he would have escaped, God knows how he would have ended up. One doesn’t know, it could have worked out, but he could also have been killed in the army. In any case I also don’t know how we would have ended up, in those days families of escapees ended badly.

The family was usually shot. So in the end my brother didn’t escape, he had to go to the concentration camp and didn’t survive. But it’s a testament, in this case a sad one, to the value that was placed on education.

I managed to finish seventh grade. Then in 1940 jews were forbidden to study in Czech schools. Our family conference once again decided: ‘He has to finish his studies. Without graduation he’ll never get anywhere in life.’ Someone in our family found out that there was a jewish high school in Brno, where I could finish my last year and graduate. So I had to go there.

I arrived in Brno, and lived with the Eisners in Cerne Pole. At that time we were still allowed to have bicycles, before we had to hand them in, so we rode on bikes, which wasn’t a problem in Brno. Thankfully the Eisners at that time still had a relatively decent apartment, I lived with them the entire time and rode my bicycle to school, summer or winter. With streetcars it was somewhat complicated, I know that I used to ride on the rearmost platform, but I don’t know if at that time it was already forbidden.

Now Petr Ginz’s diaries have been published, he was a young fourteen-year-old boy when he came to Terezin 15. He kept a diary before he went to the concentration camp, and there’s an interesting poem there that captivated me, because I realized that I myself don’t know it, in that poem he mentions one ban after another – bicycles, radios, fur coats, skis and so on and everything set to poetry, which is very interesting. Reading his diary is very interesting, he was truly gifted, it completely represents the lifestyle of that Czech jew, it beautifully shows the spiritual life of assimilants.

I came to know jewish life at the jewish high school in Brno, I have many jewish friends from that time, and from post-war times as well. In Brno I lived at my father’s sister Marie’s place. There I began to live a very intensive jewish life, not Orthodox however. There was a minority of Czech jews there.

There were German jews, also a minority, because no one wanted to identify themselves, they even tried to suppress their German pronunciation, but everyone knew that they were originally German jews. Most were jews with no attribution, simply jews, who felt as such, without saying that they are of the jewish nation. The smallest minority were Orthodox. At that time Orthodoxy was unpopular.

At high school I fit in well. I would say that I didn’t have to realize my jewish roots, because I knew them despite the fact that I lived a non-jewish life. But there I did somewhat reflect on them. We would meet and talk about Judaism.

I and my classmate Jindrich Wertheimer tried to run away out of the Protectorate 16, it didn’t work out because we didn’t know how to go about it, we didn’t know what to obtain and how, and then the Germans were advancing so quickly and we didn’t know where we should run to.

We wanted to go via Switzerland to France, but France was already occupied. It was quite naive, we didn’t realize it, but today no one takes that seriously. We tried to hold our tongues, and I think that we did, even if we did have the courage to at least write about it.

When we were then more or less ending that last school year, and Jindrich Wertheimer was in Melnice, and I was in Vysoke Myto, we definitively decided that we were giving it up, that we couldn’t have on our consciences some sort of cruel persecution and death of our parents and relatives, and we didn’t even yet know that it would come anyway, not the slightest idea.

What was most evident on our Brno class was its enormously high standard. It’s of course natural that everyone isn’t stupid, but if we ignore that, then the thing was that only the select went there, those that really wanted to finish their studies. So knowledge of German was taken for granted, there were only a couple of us that didn’t know German.

One classmate, Bekova, a poet, spoke it fluently. I was one of those that didn’t speak much, but even those who weren’t bilingual had a certain knowledge of German. I can’t tell you a percentage, but it was a lot, certainly over 50 percent, and a lot more than half already knew French, from studying it at home, so just as an example, the knowledge of languages there was exceptional.

Even among the girls there weren’t those hopeless cases that I still remember from Septima [seventh year of high school] in Vysoke Myto, those that couldn’t grasp even the simplest things and who used to say: ‘Lordy, we just don’t understand that math’. I was convinced that it was a question of education.

In Brno there were no cases like that, though now I do realize that there was at least one. This one girl, who I then tutored to make some extra money, who later became a capo [concentration camp inmate appointed by the SS to be in charge of a work gang].

Manicka was an exception, because she was quite exceptionally dumb, but I got along with her perfectly, because I mainly taught her descriptive geometry, which she couldn’t grasp at all. I taught her how two pyramids intersect each other, I tried to describe it to her. That less than capable girl later in Auschwitz became ‘Kleidungskapo,’ or block leader, in a special block where there was clothing. We walked about in rags, it was horrible, but that block was chock full of clothing. They were those that had connections, so they could dress perfectly, literally perfectly.

One classmate, who is still alive today, was telling me that when she saw Manicka, she ran over to her and said hello, and she had this little whip and immediately lashed her with it, that she didn’t want to know her. Of course I didn’t know this at the time, and also greeted her, and I have to say that for me being her teacher she was very reserved towards me, but she answered my greeting and said that she was fine and that she also hoped I was fine and behaved decently towards me. But as far as telling me: come for a scarf or something similar, because she had it all under control, that she didn’t do. Not that.

So, that was the one exception, but otherwise that class of ours in Brno was at an exceptionally high standard, and it wasn’t uncommon that people who excelled in mathematics, geometry and so on, also excelled in languages. They were very well read. Because of this I had to try very hard to catch up, it was quite a difficult situation for me, but I excelled in mathematics, physics and descriptive geometry, which I consider an honor, because it was in that class that was at such a high standard.

In Vysoke Myto I used to have all 1’s and all of a sudden there I had 3’s, which never played any important role, but does at the same time show that that high school was infected by something that I call false Zionism. We had Hebrew, it wasn’t a compulsory subject, but was relatively compulsory, that meant that we had to attend it, therefore it was compulsory, but the grade didn’t count towards our average, so that whoever had a bad mark in Hebrew could still pass with honors.

Professor Unger used to teach it to us. I knew absolutely no Hebrew, so it’s quite interesting that he and I became very good friends. Somehow he grasped my situation, that I had never had any contact with Hebrew, so he wasn’t annoyed with me at all, and the only thing that he wanted from me was for me to promise him that I would someday start to learn Hebrew. So he didn’t give me a 5 (the lowest mark) but a 4. Today I quite regret not fulfilling that promise, but I never really had the opportunity.

I am however proud that I excelled in that jewish school with high standards, in mathematics, physics and mainly in descriptive geometry. I had an uncommon ability to visualize, which has since left me. To a certain extent I was able to measure the angle of intersection of those objects and lines in my head, which was extraordinary.

From professor Filip Block, who was an excellent mathematician, linguist, literary expert and talented musician, I got a descriptive example that I as the only member of our class solved. But then he found that where there was supposed to be an intersection, that I had a gap of about two or three millimeters, that it didn’t intersect. And he said to me, ‘For me it’s enough to look at the last mark, and I know who should get what.’

That last mark was Hebrew, I got a five in it. So because he couldn’t give me a five for all three subjects, he gave me a two and in the end a three. That is of course a personal story, but it shows the spirit of that high school, that there could have existed such a professor, that that society hadn’t developed to the point where it wouldn’t have allowed that. In spite of being an uncommonly intelligent person, he was spiritually backward, for him knowledge of Hebrew was everything.

Basically the high school was divided up into Czech jews, Zionists and Communists. No-one wanted to be associated with people who were clearly of German upbringing, not only by language, but by what they said, no-one identified with Germanic identity. I recall one very bright boy, named Meitner, who later never returned from the concentration camp.

We once went on an outing on our bicycles, I don’t know if it was still permitted at that time or not. He had that German upbringing, you could tell, even if he absolutely didn’t identify himself as such. I remember asking him, ‘Listen, I’m a Czech, that other guy is a Zionist, that one’s a Communist, so what are you? You aren’t anything.’ And he started into me, why does he have to be something.

That he really is neither a Zionist, a Czech, nor a German, not for a long time, and he doesn’t have to belong to the Communists. In those days that was something unimaginable for me. I thought that everyone has to be classified somehow and somewhere.

I have to admit that to this day it’s not something that I can fully accept, but these days I know more of such people and they are mainly jews, that simply don’t identify themselves as part of any one group. It was in Brno that I first came across this, then I realized that that Meitner wasn’t alone, that he’s a human being that’s all.

I can’t imagine this, each person is somehow classifiable and has to be classifiable. There were no Orthodox jews among my classmates. Being an Orthodox jew somehow wasn’t an option. Truth be told, he would have been a laughing-stock. It seemed comical to us young people that someone would walk around in summer in a fur coat. Orthodoxy existed as a concept that we knew was out there, but really nothing more.

About a month before I was to do my graduation exams, the Moravian provincial inspector came around. He said to us, ‘Do you know that you won’t be graduating?’ We said, ‘Unfortunately we already know this.’ And in front of the entire class he said, ‘I guarantee you, that after the war I will confirm graduation for you all, I know you and you won’t have to even write the exams.’

Which was quite courageous, even among jews, because for one, a traitor could have been present, which I don’t think likely, but of course there could have been a loose tongue that would have let it out somewhere. And that would have been the end of the poor guy.

To talk about the war in 1941 in the context of the Germans losing it, that was an obvious thing. He was absolutely convinced that there was no other option than that the Germans were going to lose the war, he told us that he guaranteed us all graduation, that he knew how good we were.

Unfortunately only four of us students returned and one professor, and in the end he got the right to confirm our graduation, even though it surely wasn’t recorded anywhere, but they believed us four and him, and in the end the promise, that the Moravian provincial inspector couldn’t himself influence any more, that promise got fulfilled.

I finished my last, eighth year at the Brno high school, but right before graduation the Germans forbade us from graduating. I got my graduation confirmation after the war, even though I never did the exams. The only professor to survive the Holocaust, Professor Weinstein, got the right after the war to give out these diplomas to those that survived – out of 29 classmates there were only four of us left. So we four got a report card signed by Mr. Weinstein that we had absolved our schooling with such good marks that it was clear that we would have passed the final exams.

I then later got two more report cards, without any final exams! This was because later I had to go to this school in Vysoke Myto and take this course for those that couldn’t finish their studies. There they didn’t forbid us from doing our final exams, but they were afraid that some of the Communists and their children that were there because of connections wouldn’t be able to pass the exams, so they said that we would be able to graduate without them.

Then the high school principal in Vysoke Myto gave me a high school diploma on the basis of a Ministry resolution, because I had had completed seven grades in Vysoke Myto with excellent marks. So I have three high school diplomas and didn’t do a single final exam, which is quite the rarity!

I left Brno for Vysoke Myto, where at first I went to work for my friend’s father, Mr. Jiracek, in his workshop. We knew that we had to work and that we needed some sort of manual trade. I worked in a mechanical workshop, we repaired bicycles and for a time also manufactured tricycles.

This experience was very useful for me later in the concentration camp. Eventually they threw me out of Jiracek’s workshop, that I’m not allowed to work in workshops, that I can’t work as an apprentice. Then I went and worked on farms, either to Netolice or for someone named Netolicky, don’t remember any more which.

There I got into the local chronicle because I managed to make a herd of bullocks bolt, which is quite the accomplishment because they’re incredibly calm animals, but I managed it, so I’m recorded in their chronicle. From there I went to Vysoke Myto to work on a farm belonging to the husband of one of my mother’s employees.

I had to work from morning to night, but it was great, because I could always bring some butter or something home. In fact during the war, up to the deportation, we didn’t suffer at all. Just the opposite. We never ate so many chickens in our lives as in those days.

That wasn’t enough for the Germans, so they drafted us to the ‘Arbeitslager,’ it was a work camp in its true sense, in that we could leave, no one guarded us, and so on. For a while I worked near Chotebor, I’m not able to say exactly from when to when, digging water canals.

Then I got a special permit to leave and be at home, because of my mother being very ill, and since no one was allowed to care for her, at least no Aryan, they allowed me to go home and take care of her. Because we had farm animals, I fed the geese and chickens, which surprisingly they hadn’t confiscated. They didn’t think of that, that jews could have geese, so as I said, we had never had it so good as far as food goes, up to our departure to the concentration camp.

So, I took care of the farm and tried to read before we had to go. My brother was sent to work on the construction of a generating station in Pardubice, and was there the whole time, but this was still an Arbeitslager, so he was allowed to go home and visit, every two or three weeks, always on a Sunday he’d be allowed to go home.

They left my mother at home until our departure, because of her illness. Try as I might I can’t remember when they took the embroidery business away from us, but I think she was at home for about a year or year and a half.

We left Vysoke Myto for Terezin on 2nd December 1942, as still a whole family. We arrived there on 5th December, and stayed together during our time there. I remember when we were getting onto the Terezin transport, it was very interesting, one of the merriest days. For us kids it was a gas, we were young and didn’t have a clue as to what was really happening.

The Czech railways gave us a passenger car, so we were sitting there with no worries and having fun and saying, ‘And they think that they’re going to take us to Pardubice, and from Pardubice, by then we’ll know that we’re going to Terezin, and that it’s going to stun us or something? After all, they’re already defeated.’ It was all a big laugh.

Well, the laughing stopped when we came to the assembly area from which we were leaving Pardubice for Terezin. There the blows started flying, there the shooting started, I don’t know if anyone was actually shot or if they were just warning shots. It was the breaking point.

Up to then life of some sort had existed and we ignored things, we had to ignore them if we wanted to live. Even despite those extensive limitations, which people aren’t even able to imagine today, how horrible it was when we weren’t allowed to walk on the sidewalk, we weren’t allowed into the movie theatre, into the woods, to the swimming pool and so on. Despite that we always found something, like getting together and playing chess for example.

I should perhaps say one more thing, that we had never had it as good as before our departure for Terezin. People actually would bring us bread, butter, smoked meat, everything; at that time they already knew that we’d be deported.

It was forbidden to bring us things, dangerous, our neighbor was a German and she used to report us. But someone would always manage to slip through, they would wait until Mrs. Nekvinova would go out somewhere and then bring us something.

If I ate like that these days, I’d be twice as fat as I am now. So that moment, not arrival at Terezin, but at that assembly point in Pardubice, that was the enormous breaking point that showed us what all Terezin was going to be.

In Brno at high school I made friends that then later helped me very much in the concentration camp. One professor, today very well known, Eisinger, took a liking to me as the best student of Czech, but at the same time made a great impression on me as a Communist at the school I’m going to talk about in a moment.

He drew me into a cell of the best Communist professors. They were professors Eisinger, Zwinger and Kohn. When I arrived in Terezin, Eisinger told me, ‘You have to get into the children’s home. As a teacher, not a student, because it’s all about life or death here.

You’ll get there by going to see Lenka, your classmate, whose mother is an important Zionist functionary, and they have control over the youths, she’ll get you in there.’ So I went to see Lenka like he told me. And I really did get through the Communists to the Zionists, and through the Zionists I got into the best children’s home.

First though I got into this children’s home, where I was supposed to show if I was capable, because it was completely falling apart. In about two months I had it all fixed up, then Ota Klein came to see me, he was a familiar figure, and said:

‘All right, from today you’re with me.’ I went to L 417, where a magazine called Vedem 17 was being put out by Petr Kincl. L 417 was divided up into classes, each class  had a group and that group was also called a ‘home.’ So there the word home had two meanings – ‘sub-home’ and ‘home’ you could say. All of L 417 was a home and within it there were individual homes.

There in L 417 I worked with a person that later became well-known, Jiri Kohnig, who after the war was a professor of medicine. He was my boss. I was a ‘Betreuer,’ which in Hebrew is madrich, a male nurse, but we were teachers, nurses and friends to those children.

Professor Eisinger was in the home next door, I was in constant contact with him, then he left for Auschwitz before I did and died there. A few people that remember him say that he lost all of his spark, that he realized that survival wasn’t possible and that he became an embittered pessimist. He was quite a big and important man.

In L 417 I got to test the knowledge I had from Scouts, how to deal with younger children, even though I myself was still young. I discovered the talent for teaching in myself, which then never left me. Only when they later threw me out and I had to work on the railway did I stop working as a teacher. That means that I’ve been a teacher from the concentration camp [ghetto] right up to my retirement at the Charles University Faculty of Philosophy in Prague.

When someone was in Terezin, he would say that it couldn’t be lived through, how could such horrors exist. But when he then came to Auschwitz, he then said, ‘blessed Terezin, how wonderful it had been’. And how terrible Auschwitz is, how great a horror it is. From a distance Terezin still resembled life, perhaps by the fact that after work you really had time off.

In Terezin at least the young and middle aged people survived, you could manage to not die of hunger there. But Auschwitz really was about dying of hunger. It was known that Terezin was much better than what awaited us in the east, but no one suspected that it was the end of life.

Today people constantly wonder, why didn’t the jews emigrate? Because we couldn’t. We had no place to go, no way to get there and nowhere to go from, because the Germans weren’t letting anyone through, they were shooting people at the border and wouldn’t give any permits to leave.

Despite everything, in Terezin a person did find a way of life. There was cultural life. Not long ago I was thinking about the fact that Terezin’s cultural life has one negative aspect, that it suppresses the horrors that existed there. The cultural life there was so exceptional and such a miracle, that many people are interested only in it. They then don’t realize the horrors, the suffering and death. Terezin’s cultural life was immense and multifaceted, operas were written, books, but the most significant were events put on for the public.

Mrs. Makarova has now published a voluminous collection on Terezin from another viewpoint, about lectures in Terezin, a very interesting book, the Czech edition is called ‘University of Survival.’ Unfortunately many people are under the impression that life in Terezin was lived in such a way that people just went from theater to theater.

Now in the summer there is a reconstructed theater there, which is completely hopeless, because the sorrow and suffering cannot be reconstructed! Plays were performed on the ground such as it was: filthy, used for, I don’t know, fifty years after the construction of those buildings, and in the case of barracks, even longer.

For example, ‘The Bartered Bride’ was performed. You cannot reconstruct that. So that deforms the impression of life in Terezin a bit. But, as I say, life in Terezin was still ideal compared to what awaited us in Auschwitz.

My brother was extremely capable and clever, so he got a job at the so-called ‘Spedition’ and was protected from the transports. He had me injected with a milk injection, which was given to me by the famous Czech actress Vlasta Schonova, so that I would get a fever. There were various tricks, to convince people that they were work camps, so the sick didn’t have to go.

After that milk injection I fell ill, and then I remained the whole year in Terezin. My brother in fact went to Auschwitz voluntarily, because he didn’t want our mother to go there alone. He didn’t succeed in having her removed from the list, so he went voluntarily with her. Our mother went immediately to the gas chambers. My brother lasted there for a half year as a plumber, and then he died of pneumonia.

The last time I saw my mother was in Terezin, when she came to visit me in the hospital. I was lying there with a fever, so I don’t have any concrete memories of her visit. My mother was very sensitive, she didn’t want to upset me, so she held herself back when she was saying farewell to me.

When my work in the children’s home ended – in the Kinderheim, where I was that ‘Betreuer,’ I was transferred to war manufacture. In Terezin the Germans erected a large tent and that’s where we worked. We manufactured car motor heaters. When their vehicles froze up in Russia they had to think of some solution, after all they were quite clever, so they came up with these gas heaters that heated up the motor from below without damaging it, and the vehicles could continue on.

We manufactured these in that tent in the town square. Each enterprise, in the wider sense of the word, such as a kitchen or our children’s home, was required to send a couple of people into war manufacture. I was the youngest of the ‘Betreuer,’ so it fell to me. I worked in the heater plant during my last month in Terezin.

People that worked here in that German Wehrmacht factory were automatically exempt from transport. But various tricks and frauds were perpetrated – who had the means, pulled his friend from the transport and stuck someone else in their place, like perhaps someone working in war manufacture.

So it happened that suddenly I received a summons for transport. It was a question of a half day, during which I could certainly have gotten an exception, that I was indispensable, that I’m working in war manufacture. But I said to myself, here I’m alone, and my mother is there, it never even occurred to me that she could be dead, my brother is there, he’s already settled there, he’s a clever guy, he’ll certainly already have some good job.

In that sense I went voluntarily. I don’t know why so many people can’t grasp this. Everyone that looks at what we lived through and at those concentration camps, judge it from today’s perspective. They ask, why? Everyone knew that it was worse there, but I said to myself, ‘I’ll be with my brother.’

And my brother was an immensely capable and strong young man, I would have liked to be able to depend on him again. Well, so I simply voluntarily left for Auschwitz, not making use of the fact that I was protected. I expected to meet up with my mother and brother there, and of course I was very, very surprised when I arrived there. These are things that are hard to imagine today.

I got onto the transport on 15th December 1943, and arrived in Auschwitz on 17th December. In general I’m sure people know what it meant to arrive in Auschwitz. As soon as we got off, they confiscated our luggage, there was noise, beatings, basically everything so that we would realize that Terezin was ideal in comparison.

The first few days there were quite an adventure. I am sometimes amazed at my courage then, the things that I did. But already on the way there I met Ari, the son of Jakob Edelstein, who was a so-called ‘Lagerältester’ [camp elder] in Terezin. He was the jewish mayor of Terezin, who of course had minimal powers. But despite that he managed to accomplish something.

His son Ari attended our school in L 417. Ari took a big liking to me, so he went to see Fredy Hirsch 18, and told him that he wanted me to be his teacher again.

Fredy Hirsch was an amazing man, very intelligent and courageous, even the Germans paid attention to him, because he had this direct way of staring and looked so unafraid, later they killed him as well. He accomplished a real miracle, he stood his ground and managed to wring a children’s home out of them, first one, then another.

He had the courage to stand up to the SS, he reasoned with them, that the children are going to get in the way during roll calls, because children also had to present themselves at roll call, that they are going to be in the way during assembly for work details, and that it would be simpler to have them all in one place somewhere and a couple of people to take care of them. So in this way he managed to create blocks where the children were gathered and divided up into groups.

Just for interest, my placement went via two paths, because I was an organized party member, so the Party also pressed Hirsch that he has to take on some of their members, which was lifesaving. Young Ari Edelstein did a lot for me, he was plucky and took a liking to me. He gave me some money, which got me cigarettes, and that meant food, and so on and on. But the Edelsteins ended up badly.

After a short time they led Jakob Edelstein, his wife, even little Ari away. First they shot the son in front of his parents, then they shot the wife in front of Jakob Edelstein, and finally they shot him too.

Hirsch said to me, ‘I’ve already heard of you, come over!’ I think that one thing that also helped me was that I was ‘well dressed.’ That was very important, because he saw that immediately after arrival, I was already capable of scaring up some decent clothing and shoes – which was no mean feat and showed that I was probably a capable person.

When we arrived, they bathed us, shaved us bald, tattooed us, and then we went to the sauna where they disinfected us. We stood there naked and then the ‘Kleidungskapo’ [something like a clothing warden] threw us whatever clothing he had at hand. Luckily I got these black pants made from decent material, a shirt, and a brown light jacket, it wasn’t very warm clothing, but since I then worked inside it didn’t matter so much. But during roll calls I froze.

What was important, we all arrived with decent shoes, I had these beautiful high lace-up ‘army’ boots. Even before we got through all the insane entrance procedures, this boy came into our quarantine area, gave me the once-over, including my boots and said, ‘Give me those boots and I’ll give you something decent, otherwise you’ll be in wooden shoes, you won’t get socks, I’ll give you socks and some decent shoes.’ And I believed him, I don’t know if it was intuition or that I had already managed to have a look around and knew that it was true.

So we agreed on how we’d find each other later, I then gave him those army boots, which he then proudly wore and I would look at them with envy, and he gave me socks and shoes. Normal shoes, but decent ones, which was a real scoop there, because they stayed on your foot, a person could walk normally, in that freezing cold normal shoes were still better than the wooden shoes that everyone froze in. And I think that that was also one moment that influenced Hirsch. He saw that in the space of one or two days I managed to get myself some shoes, which was a definite plus, when a person knew how to go about things.

Fredy said to me, ‘Come tomorrow, and we’ll see.’ I went to work for only about one day and that was murderous work, almost impossible to live through without a large dose of luck. So the next day I of course immediately ran over to Fredy and he said, ‘OK, you can start.’ The children’s block had some chairs, and that was about all.

Later they even painted it [this means that the painter Gottliebova was allowed to paint pictures on the bare walls, which is a very unusual story], but we weren’t allowed to have any teaching aids, we were allowed to teach, but there wasn’t anything to teach from, they already knew that those children were going to die, so they mercifully let us teach. They didn’t really care whether we were teaching or not, while in Terezin teaching was not allowed.

We sat and around us sat the children. We sat next to each other, we had no paper, no pencils, and everything depended on how a person was able to tell stories and what he was capable of. I think that I showed that I had a broad knowledge of literature, that I could recite the history of Czech literature from memory, at that time they were interested in Czech literature, not German or Hebrew, and that I could talk about geography:

I had the atlas memorized, so I could for example talk about how one would get to Palestine. I was able to enthrall those children for the whole half day. I had a decent knowledge of history, today I wouldn’t know it like that, also something of philosophy, which was of interest to those fifteen year old boys.

I didn’t know how to sing, which was a problem. But I did manage this one small miracle, I put together a collection of Czech poetry, this little textbook. That meant that first I had to scare up some paper. We were allowed to receive packages, so I had to cut the [wrapping] paper to size.

In Birkenau, scissors were a rarity. To cut it up and iron out the pieces, that was a major problem. I also cut these cardboard [from packages, which were later allowed to be sent] covers, in the middle of the front cover I glued a white paper square [about 7x7 cm] and I recall that to this day, I can’t draw at all, but I did manage to draw on it some picture of a landscape with a building, probably a school.

The next problem was ink. I tried to make some myself – someone advised me that it could be made out of ashes – but that didn’t work for me. Finally by some miracle I managed to get a pen and some ink from somewhere, and so I began to write.

In those days I had a prodigious memory, to this day I think about those poems that I used to know, I don’t think I’d be able to recite them today. I had Bezruc almost all memorized, of course I also knew large portions of Macha, also Viktor Dyk and many other poems. I also asked my colleagues, who gladly recited things from memory for me, so in the end it was a beautiful creation. Forty or fifty Czech poems, which I then lent to some of the other teachers. We read those poems and strangely enough it got the interest of those boys.

Maybe because they saw how it came about. I don’t know if children are really that interested in literature, but when I was presenting Czech poetry to them, they really did pay attention and asked questions. I knew a lot of war poetry, and particularly that interested the children, they could understand it, after all, they also had personal experiences with the war. To this day I’m proud of that work, that I managed to put together material for that collection of Czech poetry in such difficult conditions.

When we meet today, we are finding out that the ‘Betreuer’ had the highest survival rate out of everyone. Let’s say that there were a hundred ‘Betreuer’ and that thirty of forty of them survived, which is an enormous number. There were ten thousand of the others and only two hundred of them survived. It’s simply a huge percentage of ‘Betreuer’ that lived through it.

The writer Primo Levi writes that everyone who survived did so at someone else’s expense. [Levi, Primo (1919-1987): Jewish-Italian memoirist, novelist and poet, active in resistance during WWII, captured and taken to Auschwitz, best-known for his autobiographical trilogy ‘Survival in Auschwitz,’ ‘The Reawakening’ and ‘The Periodic Table.’] In its own way it’s true, if I hadn’t been a ‘Betreuer,’ I would have died while building some road and someone else would have been that ‘Betreuer’ and would have survived. Primo Levi wasn’t able to live with this thought, that he is alive instead of someone else. I have to say that I’ve been living with it for years and years with a view that it was fate.

We get together and every little while someone talks about where he had been a ‘Betreuer.’ They’re also people that have a clean conscience, because it’s not as if they did something bad back then. If someone was a boss, a cook and so on, that was after all different.

We were inside where it was warm and taught children, instead of spreading gravel on a road in the freezing cold with our hands, because there were next to no tools. Or if when there was widespread hunger, and some person took the piece of meat intended for the entire camp and cut off half of it for his own dinner, that’s a difference. We didn’t have to go out into the freezing cold, we didn’t have to perform hard physical labor and were always together. An intellectual society that constantly held together intellectually, that was why relatively many ‘Betreuer’ survived.

My aunt Marie – my mother’s cousin and the wife of my father’s brother, Rudolf Frischmann – used to distribute soup. Those people were then allowed to scrape out the soup pots, so each one of them managed to scrape out at least one full canteen. It was only the leftovers at the bottom, but at least it was the thickest. My aunt ate extremely little, she was all skin and bones and I’m amazed that she managed to carry it all.

Her daughter died, she went to the gas chamber. So my aunt became completely fixated on me. For her I was a substitute for her daughter, and at the same time I was more important for her than herself. She took great care of me, quite often there would be soup for dinner or supper, so thanks to my aunt I had relatively enough to eat for those conditions, I didn’t suffer from that enormous hunger.

We also organized a rebellion in Auschwitz. It also had various ups and downs, though with the realization that a rebellion would be hopeless. I was a member of the resistance in Auschwitz. A large portions of jews and Czechs didn’t trust the German-Russian agreement 19, they suspected some sort of fraud, and rightly so as it turned out.

At that time jews were becoming members of the already illegal Communist Party. There was no party ID, I can’t give an exact date, in fact even before I entered the concentration camp I was surrounded by some Communists, then in the concentration camp I became a direct member of a Communist cell.

In Birkenau my party chief came to me and told me that the gas chambers are waiting for us. Not only the Communists were organized, the Zionists, members of Sokol, Czech jews also agreed among themselves to organize an uprising. So these ‘troikas’ [groups of three] arose. One was a Zionist, one a Czech and one was something else. I was in a ‘troika’ with this one guy who was already at that time a Zionist.

You see, people changed a lot, because they had the impression that their particular faith had let them down, so Zionists became Communists, Communists became Czech jews, Czech jews became Zionists and so on. Avi Fischer, who was in my ‘troika,’ was a big Czech jew and then later left for Palestine, but he was a swell guy.

On the other side I had Kurt Sonnenberg, who was a German, a jew of course, but otherwise German to the core. But I think that he was honest. Because he was ‘Vorarbeiter’ – work group leader, a ‘preparation’ master – so after the war they put him on trial, I had to take his side, if only because we were in that ‘troika’ and he was also preparing for the uprising.

Our work was minimal. We were to obtain matches, you can’t very well imagine what it meant to try to find matches in Auschwitz. Besides that we were to find blankets, those we more or less had, and containers for water. Our plan was the following: when the time comes for us to go to the gas chambers, we’ll set our straw mattresses on fire to create confusion. We’ll throw wet rags, that’s why the water, on the electric fence to short it out. And then we’ll run towards the partisans. We even had a map, which thanks to money from Avi Edelstein we got from the Polack Leshek.

Money – marks was found by ‘my’ children on the road leading through the center of the camp, did someone lose it, or place it there on purpose? They didn’t know what to do with it, so they brought it to me. I exchanged it ‘through the wires’ for food, two hundred cigarettes – which were later to play a big role – and a map of Auschwitz’s surroundings.

I gave it to the leader of the resistance Lengsfeld – named Lenek after the war – he gave it to Avi Fischer, who made copies. To this day I have no idea if it was ‘my’ map, or if Lengsfeld’s version was correct, that the map was ‘stolen’ from the SS headquarters by prisoners on cleaning duty. If it was ‘my’ map they used, then to this day I don’t know if it was a real map.

Avi Fischer was in my ‘troika’, and copied the map, which of course presented him with all sorts of problems – finding paper, pencils and so on. Avi Fischer unfortunately died. We were friends, but I never asked him about it, I just never got around to it to asking him how that map looked.

These are all of course terrible tragicomedies. I had gotten the map from that Polack for marks which Ari Edelstein had given me before his death. Leshek was in the camp next door, on the other side of some electrified barbed wire. It was possible to talk through the fence, it was dangerous, but possible. So Leshek says to me one day, ‘Listen, you better give it all back to me, those marks are counterfeit,’ We couldn’t yell much through the wire, there were guards after all, who could start shooting, so we couldn’t talk long, so I said:

‘How do you want me to return cigarettes? They’ve all been smoked. We’ve eaten the food, I can’t get it back. I had no idea those marks were false.’ And he says, ‘You know, it doesn’t matter. You gave me counterfeit marks, I gave you a counterfeit map.’ Imagine the tragicomedy! I’ll never know.

Lenek is dead, Fischer as well, so no one knows whether that map that they were reproducing in case of escape was real or not. That can’t be ascertained any more. Or perhaps Lengsfeld-Lenek, whom I had given my map, really did get a map from the SS headquarters, as he claimed he did.

In any case, when the transport that had arrived before us went to the gas chambers, our ‘troika’ became very active and we had the feeling that it was time for action. But we couldn’t do anything more than keep collecting rags, matches and water in case the uprising came. This has led to the fact that the resistance is underrated, that we didn’t accomplish much. The question is, whether we should have rebelled.

We knew that those to whom the Germans had claimed that they are going to work, were all murdered. One day we also found out that we were to go to work in Germany. When we were preparing the resistance, there was a motto: ‘One to two percent of prisoners can be saved.’ It’s better to save two percent than for one hundred percent to go off like sheep into the gas chambers.

In the resistance everyone couldn’t know about everyone else, so that in the case of interrogation everything wouldn’t be found out. Therefore I was only supposed to know about the two men in our ‘troika’ – Fischer and Sonnenberg, but I knew some others from the ‘Heim’ [‘Kinderheim,’ children’s home] and also a few from the Party, including the ‘resistance head,’ Hugo Lengsfeld = Pavel Lenek.

When they were dissolving our prison camp in Auschwitz, I had no choice but to go. We marched from the camp, ostensibly to go work in Germany, however at first it looked like we were on our way to the gas chambers. I had a friend behind me, who I knew was also in the resistance, we weren’t allowed to talk, there were SS with rifles everywhere. But a person learned to talk without it being perceivable, I don’t think I’d be able to do it now.

And so we said, ‘What’s up? Are we going to the chambers? Are we still going to rebel? Or are we going to give up on this life?’ And then we saw that we had begun to move and that we were going to the ramp, where the trains arrived and departed. So I finally got out of Auschwitz when Hitler found that he had too few workers, and that better than to kill people just for being jews, is to work them to death, simply to let them work until they dropped, but so that they are doing something useful.

When there were air-raids, I twice saw an SS soldier crap himself. During the raids we had to move about there, and once on the other hand I saw a brave SS soldier, who ran about with his revolver commanding us about, so that we would pull the burning wagons apart from each other and put them out one by one so that if one exploded it wouldn’t cause the others to explode.

He was running about among us, if there had been an explosion he would have been a goner along with us. I always tell people that I’m afraid when I talk about the concentration camp, that I talk about those exceptions, with regards to the SS, even some of those humorous scenes that distort the picture, because the evil ones, the bestial ones, of course full of fear for themselves, were 99 percent of them.

A big book about uprisings in concentration camps came out, and there isn’t much there about our resistance movement, only a couple of lines, as if it hadn’t existed. Allegedly it wasn’t resistance, when there wasn’t a single shot fired and no one fell. But that isn’t true! Unfortunately a rivalry arose, between the main camp at Auschwitz and us at Birkenau.

The main camp truly did have a well organized resistance, but they didn’t rise up either. In fact we had considered cooperating with the main camp – after all, there was movement between the two – for example locksmiths used to go from one to the other, so they could have brought over some information, provided a connection.

The resistance in the main camp wasn’t interested in our planned uprising though! Here there was a real rivalry, because the main camp [Auschwitz I.] said: the end of the war is approaching, and such an uprising will cost more lives than if we wait for the war to end. Even in the eventuality that departure for the gas chambers will be drawing near, and we rise up, they refuse to join us; that it doesn’t make any sense any more, the end of the war is approaching, and more people will die than just waiting for the end of the war.

If I’m to talk openly, there was likely some anti-Semitism involved, because the main camp at Auschwitz, that wasn’t really a jewish camp, while we, Birkenau, that is BIIb, were expressly a purely jewish camp. So from today’s viewpoint our resistance is neglected, not acknowledged, and I think that we’re being done a great injustice. Perhaps the resistance movement of the main Auschwitz camp has also done us a great injustice.

This lasts to this day – when the chairman of the Auschwitz Historical Group, Bartek, had a lecture regarding the Auschwitz resistance, he didn’t mention even a word regarding the fact that an uprising had also been planned in Birkenau.

I’m a member of this Auschwitz Historical Group, so I also asked to speak, and added that Birkenau also had a highly organized resistance, of which I had been a member, that it should be taken into account. He told me that such a remark must be made in writing, so I submitted it in writing, and he nevertheless did not publicize it anywhere.

So I rebelled and at the next opportunity I forcefully expressed myself, and it ended up that the group’s internal magazine for historians, named ‘Auschwitz,’ published my protest, that there had also been a resistance movement in BIIb. That’s interesting, that all of a sudden it was too little for them that we had merely been preparing for it.

Another thing that’s interesting. After I came out with this, some former prisoners said this to me, orally and without witnesses: ‘you’re telling us something here and you don’t have any witnesses, no one else has written about this.’ And almost as if to spite them, right at that time a book by Karel Roden, ‘Life Inside Out,’ came out, and there he even writes that he smuggled revolvers into BIIb.

He doesn’t say how many, I think probably one or two, but even that shows that we meant it seriously! Karel Roden was allowed out of the camp, because he was hauling some garbage out, so he was allowed to go in and out. He didn’t know me or that I existed, we had no agreement, but what he wrote furnished proof that there was organized resistance in Birkenau and that it was meant seriously.

From Auschwitz we went to a gasoline refinery in Schwarzheide, where they made artificial gasoline from coal. It’s between Dresden and Berlin.

On 1st June 1944 I boarded the transport and was in Schwarzheide that same day or the next. There, there were no children’s homes, there I had to work extremely hard. It was dangerous as well. But the food was a little better, because they wanted us to be able to work. These were small differences. The knowledge that the front, which we could sometimes hear, was approaching, that was fabulous.

While I was in Schwarzheide, if a person said he was sick, he didn’t have to go to work, but of course had to show up at roll call and had to do the cleaning up, and be available. I was ill and was in the camp, and suddenly they were calling out through the entire camp, as was the practice:

‘Is there somebody here that knows how to fix a bicycle?’ So I said to myself: of course I know how to fix a bicycle – after all in Vysoke Myto before the war I worked in a mechanical workshop. So I told them I could, and they led me off under guard to the SS camp next door, where the commander came over to me, the ‘Lagerführer’ [camp commander] or SS commander of the entire camp, the most feared man among all the SS. They called him ‘Rakoska’ [cane] because he always walked about with a cane and whenever he could he would whack people with it.

This commander brought me a bike which didn’t work, it was in bad shape... And now: ‘Can you put it together?’ And I said, ‘Well, if there’s nothing missing and if the tires can be blown up and you have a pump, I’ll put it together.’ He said, ‘Well, try inflating the tires first, try it.’ I said, ‘I have no tools.’ So he said, ‘They’ll bring you some.’ And they brought everything that I needed; now, I knew what I was doing. I could see that that bicycle needed to have everything lubricated and cleaned, so I took it apart down to the last screw.

He gave me a room at my disposal, even paper so that no screws would be lost, since there were of course no spare parts, so I had it all taken apart, and he came by and saw it and said, ‘Well, if you don’t put that bike back together, I’ll shoot you!’ Which with him was no joke, he meant it completely seriously. I said, ‘I’ll put it together.’ And well and truly...they even brought me some grease and so on, back then it was no problem for me, I don’t think I’d be able to do it now. Anyways I put the bike back together and saw that everything was fine.

He came over to me, and said, ‘All right, now get on it so that I can see that it works.’ I got scared and said, ‘And you’ll shoot me for riding on an SS bicycle.’ He said, ‘My SS word, that you can ride around in the courtyard here, I won’t do anything to you.’ So I got on it and rode around, he let me ride for a little bit, not too long, then he started beaming – that multiple murderer; upon which he sat on the bike and rode back and forth, braked, accelerated again.

When he was finished, all of a sudden he said: ‘Warte!’ [‘Wait!’]. He brought two canteens full of food and that’s not all. This mass murderer now said to me, ‘Eat!’ And I said, ‘You know, I’m terribly hungry, but I can’t eat all this no matter what I do.’ He said, ‘So take it with you to the camp.’ And I said, ‘They won’t let me into the camp with this, they’ll shoot me at the gate.’ ‘So hand it over the fence. Do you have a friend there?’ I said, ‘Yes, I do.’ Which I really did. And so I said, ‘So then that one over there will shoot me...’, and I pointed at the guard in the tower, which were around our camp and between our camp and the SS camp. 

And he said, ‘No they won’t, come with me!’ And so this criminal went to the SS officer that was in the tower and said to him, ‘Alles in Ordnung’ [‘That’ll be OK.’]. And I was allowed to call my friend Karel Fisher, Fishi we used to call him, who as luck would have it was also off sick that day. I called over the fence:

‘Have them call Fishi, tell him to immediately come to the wire with two canteens.’ In a bit a completely terrified Fishi ran over, carrying two canteens, ‘Rakoska’ guarded us, and we dumped the food from those SS canteens into the prison canteens. Fishi quickly ran back to be as far as possible from the wire, so that no one would shoot him, and I left in absolute calm – of course accompanied by SS soldiers – back to our camp. In fact I’m not sure whether that SS officer shook my hand, which likely never happened to anyone else.

‘Rakoska’ was shot when the SS were escaping, Fishi is still alive, I’ll have to write him so he can confirm that it’s true, because anyone who knew ‘Rakoska’ wouldn’t believe it. I’ve thought about it many times, and think about it to this day, that even in that supreme criminal there was a bit of something childlike, that he was overjoyed that he could ride on a bike that he scrounged up from somewhere, it was impossible to find a bike then, he didn’t have anyone to fix it, and that childlike glee of his expressed itself in friendly behavior towards a prisoner that he otherwise totally despised from the bottom of his heart.

Our factory was bombed. Always when the tall factory chimneys started to give off smoke, that meant that production had started. So when they started smoking, that same day a reconnaissance plane appeared, made a little smoke circle in the sky, and in four to five hours planes appeared and dropped bombs on the plant. I lived through many air raids there, some of them also hit the concentration camp, which cost additional lives and wounded.

During one of them, when I was running from the factory to be at least in the camp, I was wounded. It was 17th March 1945 and I got what was perhaps a piece of shrapnel in the legs. I couldn’t walk any further, and an SS officer wanted to shoot me, but I got up and ran – it was about fifty meters – I ran those fifty meters all the way.

When I finished running I fell down and could no longer bend my leg. That’s psychology, later I asked a doctor about it and he said that everything is possible, that much about people is still undiscovered. After that I couldn’t move the leg any more.

One fellow prisoner – who died recently – carried me on his back from the camp gates, where I had literally fallen, to this caricature of a bomb shelter in the camp. After the raid was over, I crawled to my barracks and then to the camp hospital, where, while I was fully conscious, they pulled fragments from my knee, apparently more from shattered stone than the bomb itself.

When the front came close even to Schwarzheide, which is close to Berlin, they carted us off on 15th April 1945 by bus, through burning Berlin to Sachsenhausen 20. Those of us that were wounded. We of course had no idea what was going on, we rode a bus through burning Berlin, and when we arrived in Sachsenhausen, they stood us in a row and left us standing there, hungry and ill.

I had both knees shot through, we stood there and waited to see what would happen, we had no clue. You never had a clue. Then one SS soldier came over, whether it was meant ironically or if he wanted to help us I don’t know, he said, ‘Kein Gas mehr, ihr könnt’ gehen.’ That they don’t have gas anymore. We were standing in front of a gas chamber, they wanted to gas us – this is what saves a person’s life, coincidences like this.

If we had arrived a few hours earlier, I would have died in a gas chamber. While a similar coincidence, completely senseless, took someone else’s life. So we stood there in front of that gas chamber, and not until that SS soldier came and said, ‘You can go, there’s no more gas,’ did we find out why we were standing there. Of course we scattered.

There wasn’t all that much solidarity, in the last concentration camp it was horrible, there was no place to lie down, nothing to eat. This is all described in Jiri Frankl’s book ‘The Burning Heavens.’ Jiri lived through it all along with me. He describes those last few days, when we were completely starved, because no one gave us anything to eat and we were emaciated. He describes how he crawled among the refuse, picking through it to try and find a bit to eat.

Life is simply terribly complicated, at that moment there was some Ukrainian woman also crawling in front of him, and her skirt hitched up – all of a sudden her legs were entirely bare. This started to turn him on, but not for long, because after all a potato was more important. He writes about his best friend, my friend also, who is walking in the death march 21, and knows that he can’t go on.

Because he has good boots, he gives him his boots and says, ‘Here are my boots, I’m going to go and stay in the back, they’ll shoot me.’ The very end of the war, but he just couldn’t go on. He also describes how two friends tried to escape, they caught one of them and right at the end of the war they executed him

Another prisoner, Edy [Alfred] Kantor, wrote a book ‘The Book of Alfred Kantor’ – this person had an incredible memory. Kantor took the same path as I, he drew during his time in the concentration camp and managed to save a couple of pictures.

Especially right after the war ended, Kantor was in a bad way, he went to the hospital, where he sat and drew. He had an artist’s memory, he could remember which SS uniform had what uniform facings, he drew Terezin and Auschwitz, what the crematoriums really looked like, even though it’s a bit hard to make out, because it’s dark and flames are shooting out of them. He also drew Schwarzheide, where we manufactured gasoline, you can see the air raids, he faithfully recorded everything in his book.

Kantor and I parted ways in Schwarzheide, he went on a death march and I left via bus, through burning Berlin to Sachsenhausen. I realized that Hitler’s primary goal was extermination of the jews, and only after that was war. Our bus trip illustrates this thought of mine.

We wounded left Schwarzheide by bus because we couldn’t walk. I got shrapnel in the knee, so I had it straightened out and had to sit beside the driver, who was Dutch. My leg was freezing but I heard and saw everything. We drove through burning Berlin, which as a humanist shouldn’t cause me joy, to see what a bombed-out city looks like.

Our driver was incredibly courageous, from that time on I have the greatest respect for the Dutch. We drove on, and in both directions marched German soldiers, they had their orders, but I can’t comprehend that not a one of them rebelled, even the crippled marched. All of a sudden an SS officer stops us, opens the door and says, ‘Everyone out! We’ll load on our wounded!’ And the SS soldiers with us couldn’t manage even a word, while our Dutch driver says, ‘These are jews!’ And that officer shut the door and left.

It was almost mystical, that when someone gave an order that this bus will transport jews, it was not to be argued with. He couldn’t have known where he was driving us, which was to be gassed in Sachsenhausen, where there was a small gas chamber.

The German soldiers that were retreating, had no idea why jews were riding in that bus, they had no idea that we were destined for death, which thank God missed me. Jews were something completely outside the human community. And when someone issued the order that we were going via this bus, that was not to be argued with. When the front was collapsing, trains carrying jews to the gas chambers had priority over army trains – that’s something not widely known.

The gas chambers functioned up to the last moment. Hitler was abnormal, now they write that he kissed some child or something, so he was so normal! That’s stupid. I think that to this day there is no psychological evaluation of how he influenced that entire nation, that they all stopped seeing jews as something human.

April 21 was the liquidation of Sachsenhausen, the death march from Sachsenhausen. The SS ran about and yelled, ‘Alle raus’ [‘Everyone out!’] and ‘let’s go on the death march’, of course they didn’t call it a death march. Everyone who went got a loaf of bread. Where they managed to find a loaf of bread for everyone in those times is a mystery to me.

A loaf of bread and a piece of salami, something that we had never ever seen there. I had already decided that I was going. I said to my friend Zdenek Elias, who later became a well-known emigrant, ‘OK, I’m going as well.’ Zdenek announced that he wasn’t going.

I told him that whoever stays behind in the camp will be shot. He just raised himself up a bit, looked at me and said, ‘Well, isn’t it better to be shot than to go marching with those shot-up legs? To march with pain and then be shot anyways? Isn’t it simpler to stay here?’ I said, ‘You’re right.’

A person becomes so cynical that he doesn’t realize that it’s the last day and that he should still want to try to get through it. So I pulled my blanket up over my head, the camp was empty and all of a sudden we had enough room.  I slept and suddenly the ringing of a bell woke me up, and there were two Russian soldiers standing out on the assembly square and ringing the bell.

I ran over to them, like a proper party member I had been studying Russian, so I spoke my Slavic pidgin to them, which I know to this day and which I call Russian. I talked with them and they were all happy. I’m probably the only person that got a watch from Russian soldiers. The one said, here you go, ‘Davaj, beri, beri.’ [I’m giving, take, take]. And gave me a watch, the second one gave me chocolate, American cigarettes, and a raincoat, which I wore at home for a long time afterward. That was my liberation.

Then I argued with fellow prisoners and historians where the Soviet soldiers had come from. ‘You didn’t recognize that they were Polish soldiers,’ and I said, ‘No, they spoke Russian.’ I did know enough Russian to recognize that. They then figured out that it was a Soviet scout team and after that came the Polish army and liberated the camp.

Then I had other experiences, these were already humorous incidents, like how the Germans were afraid of me, when I was carrying a bloody axe, because I had been butchering rabbits. And sad things, how around us from those that had survived there laid corpses of people who died because they had overeaten the first day. I held myself back, in that the first day I only ate potatoes, even though we suddenly had everything we could want.

  • After the war and later life

You can’t imagine what SS supplies looked like. The war was over, there were these SS barracks, so full of food, whatever you could think of! Cans of food, lard, full hutches of fattened angora rabbits. And all this was suddenly at our disposal. After that hunger some people lost control over themselves and ate. I had enough self-control to know that I can’t start stuffing myself right away, I ate bit by bit.

Nevertheless when I arrived at home, I remember the husband of the German woman, who lived with us and used to report on us, saying, ‘Wow, you must have had it good there, you’re so fat.’ I was extremely emaciated, of course. But I hadn’t been able to control myself completely, ate too much and bloated.

I was bloated and swollen all over, but despite that could ride a bicycle. Then I was at the doctor’s and he said to me: ‘My fellow, you have to be careful that you don’t get fat, you’ll have to watch yourself all your life.’ He knew our family well, so he said, ‘You all have a tendency to get fat and with you it would be particularly bad.’

Within a month it all disappeared and I was once again as skinny as a stick. I wanted to kill that guy. ‘You must have had it great there, here no one’s that fat.’ I don’t know you could or couldn’t tell that I was swollen.

The armies of the USSR came to the camp on 22nd April 1945, but there are endless arguments regarding this between the officials historians of Sachsenhausen, how the liberation took place. On 22nd April advance scouts of the Soviet army came to the camp, and on June 12 a bus came for us, driven by a Mr. Vlk. I left Sachsenhausen on 17th June and arrived in Prague on 20th June 1945.

To this day neither science nor psychology has grasped the complete uniqueness of the Holocaust, it just isn’t completely understandable. When you read Hitler’s biography, you find that he didn’t have any particularly bad experiences with jews, on the contrary they were on the whole positive.

He didn’t have any special reason to hate jews, but probably realized one thing: that it’s the bait that you can lure people with, he was enough of a politician for that. What’s completely incomprehensible is that the whole German nation went insane, at least from today’s perspective. Jews stopped existing for them; they were no longer human beings.

That’s why it’s incomprehensible that the uniqueness of the Holocaust hasn’t been scientifically or historically analyzed, let alone understood in an ordinary way. That’s why people can dare to compare today’s, though also huge, horrors and genocides with the Holocaust.

The Holocaust was unique in that it was on an industrial scale, it really was that factory, as people sometimes say, that death factory. Another thing was that jews were tortured in the most horrible ways before being killed. The thing that probably upset me the most was when they were recently slaughtering en masse those so-called mad cows, and the newspapers wrote that it was a ‘Cow Holocaust.’ One doesn’t know if it’s humor in bad taste, or something else. Or, that for example the Czech Republic hadn’t officially recognized the Holocaust Victims’ Memorial day until this year, 2005.

While I was still at the concentration camp, and we had begun to receive mail, I applied to study Czech and geography at university. Those two subjects were my favorites, that’s something that I inherited from my father, and Professor Eisinger also influenced me. I wrote poems and only ever had one single one published, I know it by heart to this day. While still in the concentration camp I received a reply, that Czech and geography as a subject doesn’t exist.

So I decided to study Czech and Russian, as I was under the impression that I had learned to speak Russian quite well in the concentration camp. During my studies, to my horror, I learned not only that I don’t know Russian, but that I had absorbed a completely spoiled version of it in the concentration camp. I mixed Russian words with Ukrainian and Czech ones, I never managed to correct it completely, and sometimes I say as a joke that I’m a genius, because I managed to gain a professorship in Russian and I don’t know how to speak Russian.

My return from the concentration camp was probably more pleasant and easier than that of my acquaintances, because I was welcomed by my old friends, and I even found some girls in Vysoke Myto. They all recalled my brother, everyone would run over to me and ask what had happened to Frantisek. I had lots of worries with the house and didn’t know how I would come up with money.

I was arguing with this one anti-Semitic professor, who said to me when I didn’t have anything to sleep on and he refused to give me a bed: ‘We’re not going to be like the Germans, who took everything from the jews. This belongs to Germans and we have to wait until the state decides.’ In the end the National Committee intervened and he gave me the bed.

I met my wife, Zdena Kolarska, during a parade early on after my return from the concentration camp. I’ll never forget it, how we were marching in the parade, and walking beside me was this voluptuous, nice-looking woman. Compared to her I was then a skinny little shrimp, I don’t know if I was still swollen then or not.

I was smoking, even though I’d always been against smoking, but they taught me to smoke in the concentration camp, actually on the trip from Auschwitz to Schwarzheide, even though it was of course forbidden. When we arrived back home, for a short time there were cigarettes named ‘America,’ so I had these ‘Americas’ in my pocket, and suddenly this woman beside me says to me, ‘I’d really like to smoke but I don’t have any.’ We all called each other comrade, and so I said to her, ‘Comrade, can I offer you one?’ And she said, ‘And you smoke?’ and I said, ‘Well, I smoke, I’m not happy about it, but I smoke.’

Those were our first words that we spoke to each other. With this a completely new life began for me, because we soon moved in together, then got married, and very soon upon that came our first son, Franta [Frantisek]. My wife is a magnificent woman, all of a sudden I had a home, her parents accepted me, I called them Dad, Mom. Suddenly I was living a normal life. They were such an amazing family, they took me in as their own.

After I finished my studies and held a few different jobs I started teaching at university, married a teacher, her father was a school principal and her mother also a teacher.

Our daughter Vera, her married name is Dvorakova, is a teacher, a translator from French, and has a doctorate in pedagogy. She studied in the Soviet Union, and after the year 1989 in America. Our son, Frantisek Franek, teaches mathematics and computer science at a university in Canada, so we already have about ten teachers in the family.

Have I brought up my children to be jewish? In fact during the Slansky trials 22 we did keep it a secret from our son, but our relatives soon let him know the truth. They called him ‘jew-child,’ in a kindly fashion: ‘Come here, I want to hug you, my little jew-child.’ and so on.

Our son, when he was small, would swear, because ‘you jew’ was an oath in the Old Town, so he would swear at people and say ‘you jew.’ And some Mrs. Polakova came and complained, that we should do something about it, that our boy is saying ‘you jew’ to her boy. So then I started to step by step slowly tell him about the war. I couldn’t tell them that they imprisoned me just like that, for no reason.

I used to go to meetings of the Terezin Initiative, meetings of the Freedom Fighters, and also did a lot of work in the Schwarzheide Society, of which I was almost the founder. Schwarzheide was my next to last concentration camp, and a relatively large number of us survived it, a large number even to this day – although there are maybe only two or three dozen now – we became very close, and I came up with the idea of forming a group, which exists to this day.

Currently Richard Svoboda is its chairman, for a long time I was the chairman. My children heard that I had been imprisoned, and took it as part of the resistance against the Germans, as in those days there was a lot of anti-German feeling.

Zdenka’s cousin used to tell them about it, but my son was small and didn’t understand it. And because we didn’t live a jewish lifestyle, it went in one ear and out the other. But we never kept it from them, except for the first two years after the war, when we said, just please don’t let it happen again. We were afraid of how we could explain it to our son, we didn’t know how to go about it, but we never hid from our children the fact that they are jews.

Our son, when he arrived in Canada, told us that there whoever doesn’t belong to some religion, is considered worse than a Communist. Of course at first he said ‘no religion,’ they were completely startled, what is that? ‘What’s that please? Why, you have two arms, two legs, how can you be without belief?’ So he thought about it, and then said that he’s a jew.

Our son therefore identified himself as a jew in Canada, he knew from home that it wasn’t anything negative. But we never led him to it, later we did discuss it, but more or less in the same way as about the roundness of the cosmos, so it wasn’t very personal, but he did know about it.

Our daughter married a non-jew, but a couple of years ago, she ‘jewified’ herself, she internally accepted Judaism. In fact she even wanted to join the Jewish Community, but she’s not allowed, because her mother isn’t jewish. Even though that now she’s more jewish than many others, the Orthodox rabbi won’t accept her into the Community. Despite this she won a competition to be principal of the Lauder School, though in the beginning they didn’t want to accept her, also because of the fact that she isn’t one hundred percent jewish.

I’ve had the luck in life to be doing what I enjoy. I studied with Professor Bohumil Mathesius. Professor Bohumil Mathesius was one of the greatest translators during the time of the First Republic 23, he translated from German, French, Latin and mainly from Russian. His most famous book is ‘Songs of Ancient China.’ I eventually published it. When he was dying, I didn’t go see him, but despite this he willed me his estate.

Unfortunately not his finances, which I could have used as well, but its stewardship. I prepared his writings, which didn’t get published, I wrote his bibliography, which also didn’t get published. The Communists reproached me with the fact that he wasn’t a Communist, even though he became a professor of contemporary Russian, therefore Soviet literature, they reproached him for not being a proper Communist. In spite of this they managed, like with all the professors, to force him into joining the Party, so that after the year 1989 24 I again didn’t have any success in finding someone to publish him.

Mathesius was from an Evangelical [Protestant] family, and when he first got married, it was to a jewish actress named Zdenka. They divorced, from what I know of it after all these years, the fault was hers, she always felt dissatisfied and wanted to be more important. While he was very important in the sphere of culture.

She committed suicide before the war. Mathesius blamed himself for the rest of his life that she committed suicide because of him, he blamed himself for permitting the divorce, even though she was the one that wanted it. But she killed herself in a state of utter despair, she had a heavy illness and suddenly couldn’t act, was utterly disconsolate, and that’s something that he couldn’t have pulled her out of. He blamed himself for being an anti-Semite. Due to his wife, and due to Otokar Fischer 25.

Because when Otokar Fischer was just beginning, Mathesius wrote a tract called ‘Anti-Semitism, non-Semitism and Humanity.’ He propagated the thought that jews should concern themselves with jews, and for Otokar Fischer to concern himself with jews and not Czechs, to leave Czech literature alone. He was very young at the time, I know this from the stories he would tell, but Otokar Fischer took it very seriously at the time, and even considered stopping writing about Czech literature and poems, if they didn’t want him. Mathesius felt guilty about this his whole life, and when he was on his death bed, he wanted to make up for these two youthful anti-Semitic sins, which he had long ago made up for with his entire life. Out of those that could have taken care of his estate, he chose me. Partly because he trusted me, but mainly because I’m a jew. He wanted someone jewish to continue with his work.

I became Mathesius’ successor, then I was in Germany for four years, where I had significant successes. I went to Germany in 1966, when they were looking for someone to lecture on Soviet literature. First they invited Soviets, but were unhappy with them because all they did was Soviet propaganda.

So they invited emigrants, but they on the other hand did nothing but political anti-Soviet propaganda. This they didn’t like either, so they wrote to Prague. Here they decided that I would go there for three months. I was very successful there, because I presented it as a unified whole. For me it was simply Russian literature. So they were satisfied with me, I got a professorship there, and wanted to stay for as long as possible, but I didn’t want to emigrate. Then I received a one-year Humboldt scholarship.

During that year I was allowed to work on only my own things, then I went to Tübingen. I worked at the foremost German universities, and lectured for a total of four years. In 1970 they wrote me from the CSSR that I have to decide, to either immediately return, or be considered an emigrant. I was in Germany with my entire family, so I guess it was my free choice that we returned.

After we returned from Germany, they very quickly threw me out of the Faculty, threw me out of the Party, but that I had already been thrown out of. In the critique they wrote: ‘Associate professor Franek comes from a rich jewish family from Prague.’ In those days that was the worst thing you could be. Meanwhile we hadn’t been rich, when my father died, my mother sometimes didn’t know if she’d be able to put dinner on the table, and I’m not exaggerating.I wasn’t born in Prague, but in Vysoke Myto, but ‘rich jewish family from Prague’ sounds better. I never denied being from a jewish family. At that time jews were being persecuted, so they wrote from a jewish family.

How did I find out about it? It was all top secret, but somehow they made a mistake in my critique and had to write a new one. They took it out of the typewriter and threw it in the wastepaper basket. One day the cleaning lady knocked on my door and said, ‘I have something for you.’ I said to her, ‘What do you have for me?’. ‘It’s your vetting review, from the garbage.’ I have it stored away to this day. I know exactly what they wrote about me.

I had been away on official business, but despite that, when I returned they threw me out of the Faculty as a German spy. I worked in the Lidove [People’s] Publishers, in fact as the assistant chief editor, but because I had been thrown out of the Party, someone had to vouch for me. One acquaintance of mine did vouch for me, the literary critic Vladimir Dostal, but when he died the director of the publishing house immediately threw me out, and I ended up working for the railway.

I have to say that I very quickly got used to working for the railway. One of my colleagues found me the job, she had remained at the faculty and then later became a faculty dean in Olomouc; her best friend worked at the train station. She told me that they were always looking for people there, so I went and introduced myself.

First I had to go for schooling and then they took me on, because they had personnel shortages. During Communism there were always personnel shortages, because each job was done by ten people instead of one, so of course there were never enough workers. So I got in and got schooled to be a signalman. I worked at the railway station in Sedlec.

Signalman, that means that I got to work in a so-called switch tower, those are the little houses that stood right beside the tracks, there was a signalman in it, who had to watch the signals, and it had a telephone so that I could let them know if a train hadn’t by chance remained stopped or if a wagon hadn’t by accident become disconnected. I worked outside of the train station and sometimes it was in the middle of nowhere. My job was to watch and see if the train was whole and on the right track. Besides this, right in Sedlec there was a rail spur, that was always stressful for me.

There was a fish cannery in Sedlec, so trains with refrigerated rail cars would arrive, and I had to let them off the main line into the cannery, according to very strict rules. During this I would always be shaking, but not even once did I screw up. I’m proud of that.

I had yet another task, a little further on there was this empty track, with idle locomotives on it, and one time I was supposed to let one go. The procedure was that I got an order as to which locomotive should depart, the locomotive would go on the main track, I was supposed to signal it to go to the train station, and only then would the conductor give the final signal for it to go. I mixed it up, and let that locomotive go straight out on the main line! My boss was completely beside himself, saying: ‘What if there had been a train coming, what a disaster would we have had.’

As punishment I had to return to the train station, so that I would be under closer supervision. There was this little shed there, right behind the station, I once again worked as a switchman, only that there was more work, because there were more switches.

I recall doing a lot of my own work there – I read innumerable books, which was strictly forbidden, I even did translations there. I had to have three eyes. With one eye I read or did corrections, with the second I watched what was going on out on the tracks, and with the third eye I watched out for the controller.

So it was a bit suspenseful in its way, but I managed to finish a nice portion of my work there. I put together a library of literary science, which I wasn’t officially allowed to sign as my work, I wasn’t even allowed to be a so-called responsible editor, I wasn’t allowed to put it together and so on, but I practically created the whole library by myself.

Working for the railway had the advantage that you worked a morning shift, then the next day the afternoon shift, and then had a day off. So I had lots of days off, I would go to the library and also to the swimming pool. Once I was running to catch a streetcar on my way to the swimming pool, and I slipped and fell and broke my little finger, so I wasn’t able to work.

The doctor gave me a note that I can’t manually move switches with my hands, so they put me on disability, which could last up to a year. We had very little money. From disability I went into early retirement, where I got half of my pension, but didn’t have to do anything any more, and then they gave me my full pension.

Then, after the year 1989, they took me back to the faculty with a certain amount of ceremony. The first time I did my professorship of Slavonic studies was in Göttingen, Germany, in 1990 I defended my professorial degree and became a professor of Russian and Soviet literature, everything was perfect.

Except that they then threw us all out, when money started getting tight, that we were too old. I had a couple of supplements, which people reproach us so much for, for the time in the concentration camps. So we’ve always been able to manage, plus my wife is a very modest woman and has lasted it out with me. Now I’m trying to still work, but it’s not going very well any more.

I changed my name, as opposed to others, completely of my own free will. Because when I started to study Czech, I learned that Josef II 26 had decided to institute a two-name system. Before that, your father could be named Novak, because he was a newcomer.

His father, who was a tailor, could have been named Krejci [Tailor]. Kucera [Curly] if he had curly hair. Names weren’t at all hereditary. Josef II decided that he would institute this; because he was a little afraid of this step, people tried to talk him out of it, in the year 1795, if I’m not mistaken, he decided to try it out with the jews.

It was basically a good idea, that everyone would have his own name, and that his children will be named after their father. Because along with this step he was also conducting Germanization, a condition was having a German name, or a German-sounding one.

When I found out about this at the very beginning of my studies, I read a wonderful article by Pavel Eisner about this, Eisner didn’t change his name, as he was already famous as Eisner, but he grasps that if someone was named Schweinkopf [pig’s head], that he would have understandably changed his name. The way this happened was that in the time of Joseph II, whoever didn’t have money to pay the official in charge, became Schweinkopf, was Goldstein [gold stone] or at least Stern [star].

Changing your name was possible long ago, so jews gradually changed it. Some Czech names also got preserved among jews – Vohryzek, Rostovsky, Hostovsky, Ruzicka, Benes, Novak, Bysicky, Radvansky. How those people managed to keep them, the devil only knows. They must have had to pay a lot, or requested the name change very early on, or convinced the official in charge that it sounded German, and sometimes it worked, Vohryzek was possible to read as Worytzek.

When I found out about this, I asked myself: ‘What would have dad done today?’ My dad would have abandoned his German name, with which we have no relationship, there is no famous Frischman, and we don’t know anything about Frischmans. [There was a German bishop named Frischmann, but probably not of jewish origin].

I thought about what name to choose and ended up screwing it up horribly. Because Franek is also not of Czech origin. I had wanted to take the name Vohryzek, after my grandmother, but I felt that would be inappropriate, because Viktor Vohryzek was still fairly well-known then. I met some lady friends from my concentration camp days, one was named Iltisova, she said that it’s not a German name, but jewish, so she has no reason to change it.

The second said that she was going to get married soon, so she wasn’t going to worry about it. They said to me: ‘Hey, why are you putting so much thought into it, call yourself Franek, that’s a good Czech name.’ And stupid me, I went home and wrote up an application with the name Franek.

It wasn’t until later that I realized that the name comes from ‘Frank,’ which is originally from German, that I had gone, as it were, from the frying pan, and into the fire. My son also has the name, and they call him Frank, they’ve Anglicized it. He lives in Canada with his family, my daughter’s married name is Dvorakova, so that I’m the only Franek. If I would have married a bit sooner, I would have taken my wife’s name, Kolarsky, which I like a lot.

I met up with anti-Semitism after the war as well, in fact quite early on, but the difference is huge. Anti-Semitism remained here from the war. When I arrived in Vysoke Myto, I’m not sure if it was for the first time, standing there at the train station was this one guy I had known. He saw me getting out of the train, and hollered out so the whole train station could hear, it’s a small local train stop, so everyone must have heard: ‘the jews are here again.’

Then I met a professor, who when he was supposed to give me things, I’ve already talked about it, a bed, bed sheet, duvet, so I would have something to sleep on, plus a table, and I didn’t even want anything more of the things confiscated from the Germans, he was rude and said: ‘We’re not like the Germans, who took everything from the jews. We’re not going to give the jews anything from German things we have stored here.’

On the other hand, as I student I regularly met other students who talked about concentration camp literature, and jewish authors. There I never met up with anti-Semitism. I never met up with anti-Semitism in the Faculty of Philosophy. I worked for the University Students’ Union, we organized student camps. I had been involved in the Scout movement before the war – after the war be began to meet and then I read that scouting was being organized again.

People from the Scouting Presidium decided to co-opt the members and that they’ll present themselves in front of the officials and the public as the Czechoslovak Junak-Scout organization. There were three in the presidium: one was a psychologist named Brichacek, another was a doctor by the name of Pfeiffer, but not a relative of mine or a jew.

The third was the writer Alexej Pludek, who was at first an anti-Communist and later joined the Communists and had quite hard anti-Semitic views. Alexej Pludek decided to renew the Scout movement, perhaps on the basis of anti-Semitism or what, who knows. He wrote anti-Semitic books. I never found out whether he knew that I was a jew. And to come up and say to him, ‘Hey man, I’m a jew,’ that’s also not the easiest thing to do.

When I found out that the three of them wanted to found this organization, I right away called Brichacek and Pfeiffer and said to them: ‘look here, you obviously don’t know this, I’m a writer, if Pludek is to be a restorer of Scouting, you should be aware that I will immediately write to the World Scouting Organization, that a known anti-Semite is founding Scouting in Prague.’ They really did verify if it was true, and subsequently squeezed him out. So I met up with anti-Semitism, and right after that with two people that tied into him, that we can’t have anti-Semitism.

So after the war I did meet up with anti-Semitism more often, but usually at work on the railway, or at the pub. People would say things like: ‘those jews, they want something again.’ And sometimes with civil servants, when they were supposed to return confiscated property. Because they returned it twice, once in 1945 and then after 1989. But of course these manifestations were all disguised. One time there was an anti-Semitic newspaper, but I don’t know what it was called.

One thing that started to really bother me, as I later found out, it also bothered Frantisek Langer 27, people started to write the word jew with a capital ‘J.’ Because a jew with a capital ‘J’ is in Israel, and even there he doesn’t officially call himself a jew, but an Israeli. But Frantisek Langer, Otokar Fischer, Frantisek Gellner 28, Karel Polacek 29, Egon Hostovsky 30, those are all jews with a small ‘j,’ I can’t help myself in this. These are all Czech writers. It really began to bother me, and I rebelled against it wherever I could. Completely without effect.

I know Petr Pithart [contemporary Czech politician], who is a noted Semitophile, but jews for him have a capital ‘J.’ And I said, ‘Please, how can you say that Czechs, Germans and Jews lived here. Why don’t you say that Czechs, Germans, Hungarians, Croatians lived here.’ There were about as many Croatians living here as jews.

There were many minorities living here. Jews didn’t form Czech culture as jews. And Otokar Fischer formed Czech culture as a Czech and in a big way. And Jiri Orten 31, it wasn’t until the end of his life, forced by the Germans, that he withdrew into his jewishness.

Before that he was a Czech poet and nothing else. How can you put on an exhibition of Germans, Czechs and jews? No, that can’t be done. Germans, Czechs, then you can put on a different exhibit, Czech jews, German jews, Zionist jews in Bohemia and their influence. Gustav Mahler 32, there perhaps you could talk about him being a jew. He was connected to Moravia and otherwise he was a German [Editor’s note:

The interviewee is aware that Mahler wasn’t German; he means culturally more Germanic than Czech.]. But there you see it again. Gustav Mahler was a German jew, but was more a German than a jew, and his descendant Zdenek Mahler is completely Czech.

My opinion regarding the state of Israel gradually changed. Towards the end of my time in the concentration camps I met jews who were truly jews, or were Germans. but didn’t feel to be any more, and started to become jews. And suddenly I began to comprehend, when they fantasized about Palestine, literally fantasized, I began to understand that they don’t have any other nation and have no other choice.

The evolution of my opinion, the same as with Viktor Vohryzek, especially like after with Jindrich Kohn, started at first with absolute refusal, that it’s an Arabic country, an Asian country. But if you want, try it, we certainly won’t put up barriers in your way. From outright refusal to acceptance.

In my youth people talked about Zionism, which was something absolutely unacceptable for me. Here the battle was between Czech jews and German jews. People used to say, why are they being German? Jews who were Germans, were returning to German culture, which had it’s advantages during the time of the Austro-Hungarian monarchy. But at first people said about Zionists:

‘Let them go to Palestine, be off with them if they don’t like it here.’ And of course there were embarrassments, people said, what do we have in common with you? Why are you identifying with us? We’re Czechs and you? Why do you wear a hat, why do you wear payes? Why don’t you dress normally? It was real hatred, which gradually changed.

When the war ended, right away a battle of jews began. I even saw how some jews escaped from Poland. At that time I was still a devout Communist, I met once this group of Polish jews in the Municipal House, I was talking to them and I said to them, ‘You know, if I wasn’t a Communist, I’d for sure be a Zionist.’ It wasn’t true, because very soon I stopped being internally a Communist, and before I knew what was happening, there were the first trials [Slansky trials].

I could never have denied my Czech identity, it was too strong in me. I told them that I would at least come and wave goodbye to them: ‘I’ve at least got my fingers crossed for you, even if I can’t do anything else.’ Already from the year 1945 I stood clearly on the side of the jews, on the side of Israel, which didn’t exist yet.

Many people in the university environment in which I moved about had exactly the same opinion. They swore at the Arabs, the Arabs boasted that they would drive the jews into the sea. Suddenly it was the Arabs that were running away into the sea. Who would have known that it was going to turn out like that. From that time I absolutely respect Zionism, and if it helps, I’ve got my fingers crossed for them in that battle.

I always understood the conflicts regarding Palestine, that that country is Arabic. Now that the jews are already there, Europe should have told the Arabs: ‘You have to stand aside, you have to make room for them. You have as much room as in all of Europe, and there are as many of you as in Germany. So why couldn’t you make a bit of room for the jews.’ No, they weren’t capable of doing that. In the meantime the jews will go on arguing among themselves.

I have my own theory, different from the others, about what jewishness is. According to me jewishness isn’t a nationality nor a religion, jewishness is in my view a ‘pospolity:’ a community, or society. A jewish community; religious jews, national jews, and jews that are religious and national.

Besides that, there are jews that are neither religious nor national, who are simply designated as jews by society. This all forms something that is neither a nation nor a religion. Imagine a person that doesn’t feel himself to be a part of the jewish nation, is an atheist, and finds himself in a society that is plagued with prejudice against jews, and everyone says ‘you’re a jew.’ Try as he might, he won’t get away from it.

What does he belong to, if he’s not a member of the jewish nation, nor the jewish religion? This type of person belongs to that third level, which is perhaps the largest: together with nation, religion and this level is formed what I today call the jewish ‘pospolity.’

It’s my own theory, I’m quite perplexed that no one else has come to the same conclusion, because to me it seems quite clear and simple. It’s obviously because people are used to thinking in terms of religion or nation. But what if something different exists? And something different does exist! What’s necessary is to come up with a name. I thought of ‘pospolity,’ but maybe it’s not the best name for it.

Something similar exists in the works of Jindrich Kohn, ‘Assimilation and the Ages.’ Kohn though calls it a ‘rod’ [clan, family, tribe, breed etc. – Translator’s note]. Which I don’t consider to be a very good choice, because the word ‘rod’ has numerous meanings. I chose ‘pospolity,’ I didn’t find a Latin expression, Greek scholars advised me to use ‘koiné moira,’ maybe someone will make some new word out of it, or think of some other all-encompassing name.

After the war I didn’t live in any particularly jewish fashion, but I always remained a member of the Jewish Community. My wife and I celebrate both Easter and Passover. We celebrate Christmas, but don’t really celebrate Chanukkah. I always took part in the major concentration camp remembrance ceremonies, so in this way I remained in contact with jewishness.

Of those that survived, there are those that say that they don’t want to hear anything more about concentration camps, that they’ve had enough of it. Then there are the others, that still live in it. Even that poor guy Arnost Lustig 33, who I know quite well, I get the feeling that he’s gone a bit nutty from it.

When he talks normally like this, well, the fact is that he doesn’t talk normally. I’ve preserved a healthy middle position, where I can talk and write about it. I also do research in books, for example I’m researching Karel Polacek’s works, who’s a jew, but I’ve also written on other, non-jewish themes. I live a completely different life. The two themes meet, but don’t overlap.

Glossary:

1 Vohryzek, Viktor (1864–1918)

doctor, writer, founder of the bi-weekly, later weekly magazine Rozvoj (Development) (1904), which programmatically publicized critiques of the older generation. Co-founder of the Society of Progressive Czech Jews (1907), which in time became the main organization of the Czech-Jewish movement.

Viktor supplied the movement with a new ideological foundation – he and his successors considered assimilation to be first and foremost a religio-ethical matter. They felt Czech nationality to be an unchanging fact, somewhat complicated by Jewish origins.

They didn’t consider being Czech as a question of language or nationality, but a religio-ethical problem, a matter of spiritual standard and culture – in agreement with the first Czechoslovak president, T.G. Masaryk, whose efforts to a moral renewal of society and political engagement after 1914 they supported.

2 Czech-Jewish Movement

Czech assimilation had three unique aspects – Jews did not assimilate from the original ghetto, and gave up German. Therefore the language and culture, which they had recently accepted, and its resultant advantages, and decided to assimilate into a non-ruling nation.

After the year 1867 the first graduates began coming out of high schools, these patriotic students in 1876 founded the first Czech-Jewish organization, the Society of Czech Academics-Jews

In 1881 the society began publishing a Czech-Jewish Almanac, the first Jewish periodical written in the Czech language. The members of the first generation of the C-J movement considered themselves to be Jews only by denomination.

The C-J question was for them a question of linguistic, national and cultural assimilation. They strove for ‘de-Germanization’, published C-J literature, organized patriotic balls, entertainment, lectures, founded associations (Or Tomid, 1884).

In 1893, the associations both in Prague and outside of it merged into a culturally oriented fellowship, the National Czech-Jewish Association, which published the Czech-Jewish Papers. At the end of the 19th century Czech Jews were also successful in having many German – originally Jewish – schools closed, which Czechs considered to be advance bastions of Germanism.

The rise of anti-Semitism and the close of the 19th century caused a deep crisis within the C-J movement. The younger generation was against the older generation’s politics, represented from 1897 by the Czech-Jewish Political Association.

Starting in 1904, the bi-weekly. later the weekly magazine Rozvoj (Development) came out with programmatic critiques of the older generation; it was led by the writer and doctor Viktor Vohryzek and subsequently by the lawyer and journalist Viktor Teytz.

In 1907 the Union of Czech Progressive Jews was founded by a group of malcontents. This younger generation gave the movement a new impulse: assimilation was considered to be first and foremost a religio-ethical one.

They felt Czech nationality to be an unchanging fact, somewhat complicated by Jewish origins. They didn’t consider being Czech as a question of language or nationality, but a religio-ethical problem, a matter of spiritual standard and culture – in agreement with the first Czechoslovak president, T.G. Masaryk, whose efforts to at a moral renewal of society and political engagement after 1914 they supported.

3 Orthodox communities

The traditionalist Jewish communities founded their own Orthodox organizations after the Universal Meeting in 1868-1869.They organized their life according to Judaist principles and opposed to assimilative aspirations. The community leaders were the rabbis.

The statute of their communities was sanctioned by the king in 1871. In the western part of Hungary the communities of the German and Slovakian immigrants’ descendants were formed according to the Western Orthodox principles. At the same time in the East, among the Jews of Galician origins the ‘eastern’ type of Orthodoxy was formed; there the Hassidism prevailed.

In time the Western Orthodoxy also spread over to the eastern part of Hungary. 294 Orthodox mother-communities and 1,001 subsidiary communities were registered all over Hungary, mainly in Transylvania and in the north-eastern part of the country, in 1896. In 1930 30,4 % of Hungarian Jews belonged to 136 mother-communities and 300 subsidiary communities. This number increased to 535 Orthodox communities in 1944, including 242,059 believers (46 %).

4 Masaryk, Jan (1886-1948)

Czechoslovak diplomat, son of Tomas Garrigue Masaryk, the first president of Czechoslovakia. He was foreign minister in the Czechoslovak government in exile, set up in Great Britain after the dismemberment of the country (1938).

His policy included cooperating with both, the Soviet Union as well as the Western powers in order to attain the liberation of Czechoslovakia. After the liberation (1945) he remained in office until the 1948 communist coup d’etat, when he was announced to have committed suicide.

5 Yellow star in Bohemia – on September 1, 1941 an edict was issued according to which all Jews having reached the age of six were forbidden to appear in public without the Jewish star

The Jewish star is represented by a hand-sized, six-pointed yellow star outlined in black, with the word Jude in black letters.

It had to be worn in a visible place on the left side of the article of clothing. This edict came into force on September 19, 1941. It was another step aimed at eliminating Jews from society. The idea’s author was Reinhard Heydrich himself.

6 Macha, Karel Hynek (1810–1836)

representative of High Romanticism, whose poetry, prose and drama express important questions of human existence. Reflections on Judaism (and human emancipation as a whole) play an important role in his work.

Macha belonged to the intellectual avant-garde of the Czech national society. He studied law. Macha died suddenly of weakening of the organism and of cholera on 6th November 1836. Macha’s works (Krivoklad, 1834) refer to a certain contemporary and social vagueness in Jewish material – Jews are seen romantically and sentimentally as beings exceptional, tragically ostracized, and internally beautiful. They are subjects of admiration as well as condolence.

7 Bezruc, Petr (Vladimir Vasek) (1867– 1958)

poet, writer of prose, author of socially critical realist poetry. He expressed the Silesian people’s resistance against national and social oppression. His Silesian Songs (1909) enjoyed a significant response among the Jewish literary public, despite his sometimes being considered an anti-Semite.

He had a number of friends in the Jewish literary community, who he captivated with the intensity of his descriptions of poverty, grievous wrongs and resistance to injustice. Jewish themes appear in Studies From Café Lustig (1889). Bezruc’s mistrust towards the Jews did not have a racist or nationally chauvinistic motivation, but was basically a reflection of the author’s elementary experiences and it cannot be interpreted as “anti-Semitism”.

8 Hasek, Jaroslav (1883–1923)

Czech humorist, satirist, author of stories, travelogues, essays, and journalistic articles. His participation in WWI was the main source of his literary inspiration and developed into the character of Schweik in the four-volume unfinished but world-famous novel, The Good Soldier Schweik. Hasek moved about in the Bohemian circles of Prague’s artistic community.

He also satirically interpreted Jewish social life and customs of his time. With the help of Jewish themes he exposed the ludicrousness and absurdity of state bureaucracy, militarism, clericalism and Catholicism. (Information for this entry culled from Benét’s Reader’s Encyclopedia and other sources)

9 Sokol

One of the best-known Czech sports organizations. It was founded in 1862 as the first physical educational organization in the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy. Besides regular training of all age groups, units organized sports competitions, colorful gymnastics rallies, cultural events including drama, literature and music, excursions and youth camps.

Although its main goal had always been the promotion of national health and sports, Sokol also played a key role in the national resistance to the Austro-Hungarian Empire, the Nazi occupation and the communist regime.

Sokol flourished between the two World Wars; its membership grew to over a million. Important statesmen, including the first two presidents of interwar Czechoslovakia, Tomas Masaryk and Edvard Benes, were members of Sokol. Sokol was banned three times: during World War I, during the Nazi occupation and finally by the communists after 1948, but branches of the organization continued to exist abroad. Sokol was restored in 1990.

10 Kohn, Jindrich (1874 – 1934)

philosopher, supporter of organized Czech assimilation. In his works, published posthumously under the title Assimilation and The Ages I-III (Prague, 1936), he laid the philosophical foundations of a new concept of the role and purpose of assimilation, and therefore of the Czech-Jewish movement.

He was a supporter of the Pan-European idea, and considered assimilation to be a process that should far exceed the scope of Jewishness. He attributed to assimilation a model purpose and content pertaining to all peoples: that it shows other nations the path from separation to higher, trans-national and trans-state wholes, founded on absolute humanity.

Kohn was a staunch opponent of Zionism (“My Zion is Prague”), he did, however, try to find some common points between both movements, which he considered to be a contemporary expression of much-needed Jewish self-realization. Positions of this type were not common within the Czech-Jewish movement: most proponents of assimilation rejected Zionists as a matter of principle as early as the end of the 19th century, when the first Zionist associations began to appear in Bohemia.

11 Masaryk, Tomas Garrigue (1850-1937)

Czechoslovak political leader and philosopher and chief founder of the First Czechoslovak Republic. He founded the Czech People’s Party in 1900, which strove for Czech independence within the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy, for the protection of minorities and the unity of Czechs and Slovaks.

After the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy in 1918, Masaryk became the first president of Czechoslovakia.

He was reelected in 1920, 1927, and 1934. Among the first acts of his government was an extensive land reform. He steered a moderate course on such sensitive issues as the status of minorities, especially the Slovaks and Germans, and the relations between the church and the state. Masaryk resigned in 1935 and Edvard Benes, his former foreign minister, succeeded him.

12 Benes, Edvard (1884-1948)

Czechoslovak politician and president from 1935-38 and 1946-48. He was a follower of T. G. Masaryk, the first president of Czechoslovakia, and the idea of Czechoslovakism, and later Masaryk’s right-hand man. 

After World War I he represented Czechoslovakia at the Paris Peace Conference. He was Foreign Minister (1918-1935) and Prime Minister (1921-1922) of the new Czechoslovak state and became president after Masaryk retired in 1935.

The Czechoslovak alliance with France and the creation of the Little Entente (Czechoslovak, Romanian and Yugoslav alliance against Hungarian revisionism and the restoration of the Habsburgs) were essentially his work. After the dismemberment of Czechoslovakia by the Munich Pact (1938) he resigned and went into exile.

Returning to Prague in 1945, he was confirmed in office and was reelected president in 1946. After the communist coup in February 1948 he resigned in June on the grounds of illness, refusing to sign the new constitution.

13 Eisner, Pavel (1889 – 1958)

writer, translator and journalist; one of the most distinctive representatives of Czech-Jewishness in Prague (despite whatever objections he may have had to its program) in literature and journalism of the first half of the 20th century. From 1921-1938 he worked as freelance journalist for the daily paper Prager Presse. In 1939 he was sent into early retirement due to “racial reasons.” Viktor Fischl wanted to help him emigrate, but a guarantee from H.G. Wells, by fault of the British consulate in Prague, was sent to another person with the same name. During the time of the Protectorate he lived in seclusion. From the end of the war until his death, he made a living as a translator and professional writer. He strove to foster mutual understanding between Czechs and Germans and translated the works of Franz Kafka, Thomas Mann and Rilke into Czech.

14 Birkenau (Pol

: Brzezinka): Also known as Auschwitz II. Set up in October 1941 following a decision by Heinrich Himmler in the village of Brzezinka (Ger.: Birkenau) close to Auschwitz, as a prisoner-of-war camp. 

It retained this title until March 1944, although it was never used as a POW camp. It comprised sectors of wooden sheds for different types of prisoners (women, men, Jewish families from Terezin, Roma, etc.), and continued to be expanded until the end of 1943.

From the beginning of 1942 it was an extermination camp. The Birkenau camp covered a total area of 140 ha. and comprised some 300 sheds variously used as living quarters, ancillary quarters and crematoria. Birkenau, Auschwitz I and scores of satellite camps made up the largest centre for extermination of the Jews. The majority of the Jews deported here were sent straight to the gas chambers to be put to Heath immediately, without registration.

There were 400,000 prisoners registered there for longer periods, half of whom were Jews. The second-largest group of prisoners were Poles (140,000). Prisoners died en mass as a result of slave labor, starvation, the inhuman living conditions, beatings, torture and executions. The bodies of those murdered were initially buried and later burned in the crematoria and on pyres in specially dug pits.

Due to the efforts made by the SS to erase the evidence of their crimes and their destruction of the majority of the documentation on the prisoners, and also to the fact that the Soviet forces seized the remaining documentation, it is impossible to establish the exact number of victims of Auschwitz-Birkenau. On the basis of the fragmentary documentation available, it can be assumed that in total approx. 1.5 million prisoners were murdered in Auschwitz-Birkenau, some 90% of whom were Jews.

15 Terezin/Theresienstadt

A ghetto in the Czech Republic, run by the SS. Jews were transferred from there to various extermination camps. It was used to camouflage the extermination of European Jews by the Nazis, who presented Theresienstadt as a ‘model Jewish settlement’.

Czech gendarmes served as ghetto guards, and with their help the Jews were able to maintain contact with the outside world. Although education was prohibited, regular classes were held, clandestinely. Thanks to the large number of artists, writers, and scholars in the ghetto, there was an intensive program of cultural activities.

At the end of 1943, when word spread of what was happening in the Nazi camps, the Germans decided to allow an International Red Cross investigation committee to visit Theresienstadt. In preparation, more prisoners were deported to Auschwitz, in order to reduce congestion in the ghetto. Dummy stores, a cafe, a bank, kindergartens, a school, and flower gardens were put up to deceive the committee.

16 Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia

Bohemia and Moravia were occupied by the Germans and transformed into a German Protectorate in March 1939, after Slovakia declared its independence. The Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia was placed under the supervision of the Reich protector, Konstantin von Neurath.

The Gestapo assumed police authority. Jews were dismissed from civil service and placed in an extralegal position. In the fall of 1941, the Reich adopted a more radical policy in the Protectorate. The Gestapo became very active in arrests and executions. The deportation of Jews to concentration camps was organized, and Terezin/Theresienstadt was turned into a ghetto for Jewish families.

During the existence of the Protectorate the Jewish population of Bohemia and Moravia was virtually annihilated. After World War II the pre-1938 boundaries were restored, and most of the German-speaking population was expelled.

17 Vedem

The magazine Vedem was put out by boys from the 1st boys’ home inTerezin (located in a former school designated L 417), which for practically all of its existence was led by the educator and teacher Valtr Eisinger, alias Prcek [Squirt]. He established the principle of self-government in the home, and named it after a Russian school for orphans, which was named ‘Respublika Skid’.

Vedem began to be published as a cultural and news magazine. In the beginning it was available to all, thanks to it being conceived as a bulletin-board magazine. Subsequently for security reasons this approach was abandoned.

After each publication the magazine was passed around, and its entire contents were discussed at the home’s plenary meetings held every Friday. Everyone who was interested could attend these meetings. Vedem was published weekly from December of 1942, and always as one single copy.

The magazine’s pages are numbered consecutively and together the entire magazine has 787 pages. The authors of the absolute majority of the contributions were the boys themselves, who ranged from 13 to 15 years old. We can, however, also find in the magazine contributions by educators and teachers.

Published in Vedem were stories, critical articles, articles inspired by specific events, educational articles, poems and drawings. Mostly the boys describe in their works the situation in the camp, state their perceptions relating to life in Terezin, but also concern themselves with the problem of the Jewish question, Jewish history, and so on.

Often-used literary devices are irony (especially in commenting the overall situation in the camp), satire (mainly in poems), metaphors, the use of contrasts. Most articles are written anonymously, or under various nicknames.

Some boys, supported by the efforts for collective education that ruled in Terezin, formed an authors’ group and all used the pseudonym Akademie [Academy] for their articles. Part of the magazine Vedem was published in book form by M.R. Krizkova in collaboration with Zdenek Ornest and Jiri Kotouc under the name ‘Are The Ghetto Walls My Homeland (Je moji vlasti hradba ghett).

18 Hirsch, Fredy (1916–1944)

member of the Maccabi Association, a sports club founded in the middle of the 1920s as a branch of the Maccabi Sports Club, the first Jewish sports association on the territory of Bohemia and Moravia. Hirsch organized the teaching of sports to youth at Prague’s Hagibor, after his deportation to Terezin he continued in this activity there as well.

After the reinstatements of transports to Auschwitz in 1943 and after the creation of the “family camp” there, Hirsch and other teachers organized a children’s home there as well. They continued to teach until the Nazis murdered virtually all the members of the “family camp”, including children and teachers, in the gas chambers.

19 Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact

Non-aggression pact between Germany and the Soviet Union, which became known under the name of Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact. Engaged in a border war with Japan in the Far East and fearing the German advance in the west, the Soviet government began secret negotiations for a non-aggression pact with Germany in 1939.

In August 1939 it suddenly announced the conclusion of a Soviet-German agreement of friendship and non-aggression. The Pact contained a secret clause providing for the partition of Poland and for Soviet and German spheres of influence in Eastern Europe.

20 Sachsenhausen

Nazi concentration camp located in eastern Germany, near Oranienburg. Created in 1936. Political prisoners, Soviet POWs, priests were sent there. The prisoners were employed in heavy industry. Medical experiments were also performed on the inmates.

In 1941 the first attempts at killing inmates with automobile exhaust fumes took place. Gas chambers were opened in 1943.Over 200,000 prisoners passed through Sachsenhausen, 116,000 died. The commanders of the camp during the war were: H. Loritz, A. Kaindl. The camp was liberated in 1945 by the Soviet Army.

21 Death march

the Germans, in fear of the approaching Allied armies, tried to erase evidence of the concentration camps. They often destroyed all the facilities and forced all Jews regardless of their age or sex to go on a death march. This march often led nowhere, there was no concrete destination. The marchers got no food and no rest at night.

It was solely up to the guards how they treated the prisoners, how they acted towards them, what they gave them to eat and they even had the power of their life or death in their hands. The conditions during the march were so cruel that this journey became a journey that ended in death for many.

22 Slansky trial

In the years 1948-1949 the Czechoslovak government together with the Soviet Union strongly supported the idea of the founding of a new state, Israel. Despite all efforts, Stalin’s politics never found fertile ground in Israel; therefore the Arab states became objects of his interest. In the first place the Communists had to allay suspicions that they had supplied the Jewish state with arms.

The Soviet leadership announced that arms shipments to Israel had been arranged by Zionists in Czechoslovakia. The times required that every Jew in Czechoslovakia be automatically considered a Zionist and cosmopolitan.

In 1951 on the basis of a show trial, 14 defendants (eleven of them were Jews) with Rudolf Slansky, First Secretary of the Communist Party at the head were convicted. Eleven of the accused got the death penalty; three were sentenced to life imprisonment.

The executions were carried out on 3rd December 1952. The Communist Party later finally admitted its mistakes in carrying out the trial and all those sentenced were socially and legally rehabilitated in 1963.

23 First Czechoslovak Republic (1918-1938)

The First Czechoslovak Republic was created after the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy following World War I. The union of the Czech lands and Slovakia was officially proclaimed in Prague in 1918, and formally recognized by the Treaty of St. Germain in 1919. Ruthenia was added by the Treaty of Trianon in 1920.

Czechoslovakia inherited the greater part of the industries of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy and the new government carried out an extensive land reform, as a result of which the living conditions of the peasantry increasingly improved. However, the constitution of 1920 set up a highly centralized state and failed to take into account the issue of national minorities, and thus internal political life was dominated by the struggle of national minorities (especially the Hungarians and the Germans) against Czech rule. In foreign policy Czechoslovakia kept close contacts with France and initiated the foundation of the Little Entente in 1921.

24 Velvet Revolution

Also known as November Events, this term is used for the period between 17th November and 29th December 1989, which resulted in the downfall of the Czechoslovak communist regime. A non-violent political revolution in Czechoslovakia that meant the transition from Communist dictatorship to democracy.

The Velvet Revolution began with a police attack against Prague students on 17th November 1989. That same month the citizen’s democratic movement Civic Forum (OF) in Czech and Public Against Violence (VPN) in Slovakia were formed. On 10th December a government of National Reconciliation was established, which started to realize democratic reforms.

On 29th December Vaclav Havel was elected president. In June 1990 the first democratic elections since 1948 took place.

25 Fischer, Otokar (1883–1938)

literary and theater historian, theoretician, critic, poet, script editor, university professor. He came from a Czech-Jewish family, and studied German Studies and Romance languages and literature in Prague. In 1903, he lectured on the theme of Ahasver, the eternal Jew, for the Society of Czech Academics-Jews.

In 1911 he had himself baptized for personal reasons (marriage to a Christian). Later he re-evaluated his approach to Judaism, and in 1922 he published a volume of poetry entitled Voices, where he reflects on his Jewishness, while still assuming a critical stance. After Hitler’s rise to power (1933) he reacted with a series of lectures, in which he outlined his conception of the contribution of Jews to individual national literatures.

26 Joseph II (1741-1790)

Holy Roman Emperor, king of Bohemia and Hungary (1780-1790), a representative figure of enlightened absolutism. He carried out a complex program of political, economic, social and cultural reforms. His main aims were religious toleration, unrestricted trade and education, and a reduction in the power of the Church. These views were reflected in his policy toward Jews.

His ,Judenreformen’ (Jewish reforms) and the ,Toleranzpatent’ (Edict of Tolerance) granted Jews several important rights that they had been deprived of before: they were allowed to settle in royal free cities, rent land, engage in crafts and commerce, become members of guilds, etc. Joseph had several laws which didn’t help Jewish interests: he prohibited the use of Hebrew and Yiddish in business and public records, he abolished rabbinical jurisdiction and introduced liability for military service.

A special decree ordered all the Jews to select a German family name for themselves. Joseph’s reign introduced some civic improvement into the life of the Jews in the Empire, and also supported cultural and linguistic assimilation. As a result, controversy arose between liberal-minded and orthodox Jews, which is considered the root cause of the schism between the Orthodox and the Neolog Jewry.

27 Langer, Frantisek (1888 – 1965)

doctor, playwright, writer, stronger reflections upon Judaism only towards the end of his life’s work. Came from a religiously lukewarm family, which tried to observe the Jewish way of life while at the same time adapt to their Czech surroundings.

When Frantisek’s brother, Jiri Langer (author of the book ‘Nine Gates,’ inspired by Hasidic apprentices) found during his student years the meaning of life in embracing Orthodox Hasidic Judaism, which he ostentatiously showed off – the family reacted very reservedly and had a hard time coming to terms with this fact. Frantisek Langer merged with the democratically and humanistically oriented Czech intelligentsia.

In the years 1935-1938 he was the creative director of the Vinohrady Theater in Prague, in the summer of 1939 he traveled via Poland to France, and then stood in the head of the medical service of the Czechoslovak army in England. Became chairman of the Czechoslovak PEN Club. Reflects on Jewishness in the books ‘Were and Was’ (1963) and ‘Philatelistic Stories’ (1965).

28 Gellner, Frantisek (1881–1914)

poet, writer, painter, journalist from a generation of anarchistic individualists, a representative of Prague’s Bohemian community at the beginning of the 20th century. His work is marked by cynicism, irony, and sarcastic commentary on contemporary politics.

The son of a less than wealthy Jewish merchant family, he devoted himself to the Jewish question via countless verses, pieces of prose and articles. From the year 1911 he was a journalist with Lidove Noviny (People’s News) in Brno. In August 1914 he joined the Austro-Hungarian Army. His trail disappears at the Halic front.

29 Polacek, Karel (1892–February 1945)

writer, journalist, whose entire literary life’s work is permeated by Jewish life and Jewish literary experience. He came from a strongly assimilated Jewish merchant family. During World War I he served at the Balkan and Eastern fronts. From the year 1920 he was a journalist with Lidove Noviny (People’s News), contributed to the magazine The Present, wrote film themes and scripts.

During the time of the Protectorate he wasn’t allowed to publish due to “racial reasons,” and his works came out under the names of other authors. He found employment with the Jewish Elders’ Committee; he worked on inventories of confiscated collections of books of the Jewish religious communities in Prague, Pilsen, Prostejov, Brno and so on. Out of love for his life companion, who he didn’t want to leave, he didn’t make use of the possibility of avoiding the transport, from which the Prague Jewish Community wanted to save him.

In July 1943 he was transported to Terezin, where he actively participated in cultural life: here he presented a total of six lectures between 23rd December 1943 and 21st June 1944. He was transported to Auschwitz on 19th October 1944 – this day was long given as the day of this death, however, according to his fellow prisoners, he was apparently transferred in November 1944 from Auschwitz to the Hindenburg (Zabrze) camp, where he even wrote a sketch for the women’s section of the prison about a psychic that tells her fellow prisoners’ fortune.

He died either during a death march that left the camp on 19th January 1945, or later, at the Dora concentration camp, where prisoners were transported from Gleiwitz in open wagons.

30 Hostovsky, Egon (1908 – 1973)

author of psychological prose. He always regarded himself as a Czech writer, however he may have felt ties to Jewishness, with which he connected eternal banishment and exile – “the historical law of modern man”. He came from a fully assimilated Jewish family, and was conscious his whole life of being “different,” and had a nostalgia for something elusive, which led him to an interest in Jewishness. In order to learn about Jewish Orthodoxy, he visited Hasidic Jews in Ruthenia and Halic.

From 1931-1936 he edited the Czech-Jewish Almanac, later he worked for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. On 25th February 1939 he left for Belgium, later emigrating to the USA (he became a US citizen in 1957). Even in exile he showed interest in the participation of the Jewish element in the evolution of Czech literature – he contributed to the first volume of the monograph The Jews of Czechoslovakia with the study Participation in Modern Czech Literature (1. vol., 1968, s.439-153).

31 Orten, Jiri (1919–1941)

poet, writer, journalist. His works bear signs of Existentialism, a lifelong feeling full of contradictions and tragedy (the diaries Blue, Striped and Red Book). Came from a Jewish family of small-time merchants. After high school participated in Prague’s dramatic and literary life, contributed to various magazines.

Was expelled from studies for “racial reasons,” lived from occasional royalties and gifts, began working for the editorial department of the Jewish religious community. Died tragically under the wheels of a German ambulance on 30th August 1941 at the age of twenty-two.

32 Mahler, Gustav (1860-1911)

Bohemian-Austrian conductor and composer of Jewish origin, recognized among the most important post-romantic composers and best-known for his last two works, ‘Symphony No. 9’ (1909) and ‘The Song of the Earth’ (1908).

33 Lustig, Arnost (b

1926): Czech-Jewish writer. 1950–58 a reporter of Czechoslovak Radio; 1961–68 scriptwriter for Barrandov Film Studios (Prague). Emigrated in 1968, from 1972 he lectured on film and literature at the American University in Washington.

Aleksandar Necak

Aleksandar Necak
Belgrade
Serbia
Name of interviewer: Rachel Chanin
Date of interview: October 2000

My family background
During the war
After the war

My family background

My maternal grandparents were both from Senta. Both families lived in the Jewish section of Senta but not in the Orthodox area, which was further outside the center.

Grandmother was born in Senta in 1885. She came from a considerably well-off Senta Jewish family. Her father, Moric Bergel, was a wheat trader in Senta who had his own mill and bakery. At the time there were laws forbidding Jews from owning land so he did not own any wheat fields. They say that he was "poziv na pogrom", "invited to the pogrom" because he had such a Jewish face. He was known to be very witty, constantly pulling practical jokes. Once, while my mother was in school he came to the school and had her called out of class in order to relay a very important message. She and her teachers were worried that something was wrong. But Moric just wanted to tell her that their cat caught a mouse and that she should hurry home for lunch. Some of his pranks had more significant effects.  He had one brother who also lived in Senta and had a great fear of dying. Playing on his brother's fear of death, one day he had the local morticians go to his brother's house looking to collect his brother's corpse. After his brother learned that he had arranged this prank he never spoke to him again and the two brothers died without reconciling with one another. While he was a prankster, he certainly was not a traveler. He did not like to travel and rarely left Senta. Great-grandfather's wife Sirina [nee Stajnfeld] was born in Slavonia and at some point moved to Senta. She was much more observant than he, who was always looking for a way to avoid religious practice and observance. He died in Senta in 1939.

Great-grandfather and great-grandmother had two children, Andras and Tereza, my grandmother. Andreas studied pharmacy in Budapest. During these studies between 1915-1920, he changed his family name from Bergel to Ormos, a Hungarian name. Ostensibly he changed his name to improve his academic and professional opportunities in Hungary. He also met his future wife, Suzana Halpert, in Budapest. She was from a Hungarian Jewish family but moved to Senta with Andras after he completed his studies. Andras had his own pharmacy in Senta, where he worked until he was deported. When he and Suzana were captured he brought with him a vial of poison, which they both ingested on the way to Auschwitz. My grandmother Tereza Bergel lived most of her life in Senta until she was killed in Auschwitz. She finished a middle school for women, as was the practice at the time. She married my grandfather Dr. Kalman Hacker, also from Senta. They were two opposite personalities but, according to my mother, they had a good relationship. Grandmother was always traveling and going to parties whereas grandfather was much more sedate and studious.

Grandfather came from a very poor family. His family was too poor to pay for his studies and he received a scholarship form a Catholic organization in Szeged [Hungary]. They financed both his bachelor’s degree and his doctorate in Berlin but did not make any religious pressure on him. After finishing his doctorate he returned to Senta where he taught Greek and Latin in a local gymnasium. He spent his life close to his books and was not interested in traveling. Grandmother took after her father, Moric, who was not religious whereas grandfather was traditional in his religious practices. He went to synagogue and observed some of the traditional practices and was an active member of the Neolog community. [Following a Congress in 1868/69 in Budapest, where the Jewish community was supposed to discuss several issues on which the opinion of the traditionalists and the modernizers differed and which aimed at uniting Hungarian Jews, Hungarian Jewry was officially split into to (later three) communities, which all built up their own national community network. The Neologs were the modernizers, who opposed the Orthodox on various questions.]  Grandmother accepted these practices as the status quo at home but when she was on her travels she would not adhere to them. Grandfather died young, at the age of 51, on December 2, 1929 and is buried in the Jewish cemetery in Senta.  He had one sister, Berta, who lived in Novi Sad. Berta, her daughter Kati and the rest of her family were killed in the raid of Novi Sad in January 1943.

Kalman and Tereza Hacker had one daughter, Suzana Hacker. My mother was born in Senta on February 25, 1915 and raised there. She studied at the secular gymnasium in Subotica. In 1932, at the age of 17, she married Dusan Necak, a Serbian officer in the Royal Yugoslav Army who was stationed in Subotica. They were married in Prilep [Macedonia] in a Serbian Orthodox church. At the time of the marriage my mother changed her name to Dusanka Necak. She was not religious and did not observe any Jewish holidays or practices nor did she observe the Serbian Orthodox practices. They had two children, my sister Marina and me. As father was an officer in the army we moved around a lot during the pre-war years but regardless of where we were most of our friends were people from the Jewish community in that town. When I was born we were living in Novi Sad, and by the time the war started father was already permanently stationed and working in Belgrade.

During the war

When the war began we were living in Belgrade. At the time mother’s mother, Tereza, was also with us. When the Jews were rounded up in Belgrade she moved us in with family friends, the Djordjevic family, who lived on Knez Milos Street. Grandmother went back to Senta and mother did not tell anyone where she had moved us, thereby breaking all connections with her past. Mother went into this form of hiding because of her Jewish background but also because she was a member of a revolutionary group that had killed a police officer and whose members were being arrested. We lived with this family for the first half of the war and around 1942 we moved to stay with another family in Belgrade, also named Djordjevic. At one point, when all the Jews were told to register themselves with the authorities in Tasmajdan Park mother went to register herself. The clerk she handed her papers to looked through her paperwork and saw that there was no mention of her Jewish background. He ripped up her registration form and advised her that if ever asked she should make up a story about her parents’ background and would thereby avoid registering herself as a Jew. While we were living with these two Djordjevic families we were able to walk on the street and do many daily tasks because we had Serbian last names and had distanced ourselves from the family and friends.

At the beginning of the war, my father was captured and was taken to a camp in the Italian occupied zone. He escaped from that camp and was traveling back to Serbia by train when he was spotted by an acquaintance in the Zagreb train station. The acquaintance had him arrested and he was immediately deported to Jasenovac [concentration camp] were he was killed.

After the war

After the war we remained in Belgrade where mother worked as a financial clerk. My mother currently resides in the Jewish old age home in Belgrade. My sister Marina died in 1996 in Belgrade. I live in Belgrade with my wife, Matilda. I'm a semi-retired architect and Matilda, a landscape architect. 

Zuzanna Mensz

Zuzanna Mensz
Warsaw
Poland
Interviewer: Aleksandra Bankowska
Date of interview: January – February 2005

I’ve met Ms. Mensz thanks to her cousin, Ms. Anna Lanota, another Centropa interviewee. Ms. Mensz lives alone in downtown Warsaw. We had a couple of meetings. She’s a very gentle person, always with a smile on her face. She speaks quietly due to her hearing impairment. She loved to talk about her childhood, but the conversation would turn less fluent whenever we touched the postwar times. The interview was interrupted for a few months by her serious health problems.

My father’s parents, the Rossets, came from Volodymir-Volyns’kyy [presently a city in Ukraine; a town in pre-war eastern Poland, ca. 200 km east of Lublin]. I don’t remember my Grandpa’s name, Grandma was called Pola. Grandpa owned a printing house in Volodymir. The family later moved to Lublin, I don’t know why. Grandpa was a middleman in grain trade, and my father used to help him I believe. My sisters and I used to visit our grandparents once a week. They lived on a narrow street stemming from Lublin’s main artery, Krakowskie Przedmiescie Street. About the only thing I remember from those visits was my Mom taking us to a candy store and buying us cookies. I don’t remember Grandma ever talking to us. She would stroke our heads, but not talk. I generally didn’t have any closer relationship with my grandparents. Grandpa died of pneumonia as a relatively young man. I’m not sure which year it was but I remember it very clearly. The family was rather sickly. Grandma died a week after my Father’s death, in 1933. It was her only son; she had been very attached to him. I’m not able to tell anything more about my grandparents.

My father had two sisters, Pola and Adela. Pola never married, she lived with the grandparents. I didn’t know Adela’s husband, he’d left her and emigrated to America [in the 1930s]. She had two grownup children and a girl of my age, Esterka [diminutive for Estera]. She was always ill and Pola took care of her. I remember when my Father got ill Pola came from Skryhiczyn [a village ca. 90 km from Lublin, by the river Bug; the family of Ms. Mensz’s mother had an estate there] to take care of him, and she taught me how to cook. I don’t know much about Father’s sisters, because Mom didn’t keep in touch with them after Father’s death. Then the war came, I know they were killed.

My maternal grandparents were called Horowicz. Mom’s mother, Sara Zlata née Rottenberg, died during labor [giving birth to her next child], she was twenty-something [According to the family saga Nad Bugiem - Rottenbergowie ze Skryhiczyna (By The River Bug - The Rottenbergs From Skryhiczyn) Zlata Rottenberg died in 1917.] She managed to give birth to ten children. She was born in Skryhiczyn. Grandpa was called Hersz Horowicz. He came from Piotrkow Trybunalski. He floated timber from the Skryhiczyn woods to Gdansk by the Bug. He had some business in Gdansk. After Grandma Zlata’s death he remarried a widow who already had some children, and later they had a daughter. They lived in Lodz. I remember him visiting Mom in Lublin once. I was 6 at the time I think. He brought us some toys. My elder sister also recalled visiting him in Lodz. That’s all I know about him.

All the orphaned children of Zlata Horowicz grew up in Skryhiczyn at Grandpa Rottenberg’s manor. My maternal grandparents had a big estate there all the family lived at. As for Mom’s uncles Rottenbergs, they were very religious. They wore beards, no payes as far as I remember, but they observed all the regulations. I remember there was no cooking on Saturdays, only the meals prepared the day before were kept in the oven. The dinner was very early in the day and before it Mom’s aunt Hena [wife of Mordechaj Rottenberg, Zlata’s – Ms. Mensz grandmother’s brother] used to call me over to have some gingerbread and milk. There was a small room in the manor, a synagogue of sorts, where [Mom’s] uncles prayed together. They were very pious and used to go to a rabbi [tzaddik] to Gora Kalwaria I think 1. People in Skryhiczyn spoke Hebrew, Yiddish, and Polish, with no Jewish accent but rather the rural one like everywhere in the Lublin region. Mom used to live there until she got married.

Of the ten children [Mom’s siblings] I knew seven, not all of them survived [lived to grownup age]. Mom’s eldest brother was called Motel, he had a wife and eight very nice children. He was a very religious Jew, reportedly an expert in Talmudic philosophy. He didn’t talk to me I think. Perhaps he didn’t speak with women at all, but I guess he didn’t like it that we [Ms. Mensz often uses ‘we’, meaning her and her two sisters.] were raised in not a very religious way, we went to Polish schools, we spoke Polish. Motel raised his children in a religious fashion. He even sent his eldest son, whose name I don’t remember, to a religious school in Lublin 2. He was later in Warsaw in a [religious] school, but he quit, supposedly lost his faith. He was killed in the Warsaw Uprising 3. Uncle Motel’s second son was called Pinio [diminutive for Pinchas]. He looked after the Skryhiczyn farm, he farmed the land and he bred horses. Third son, Froim, was a very audacious boy. There was this story about him. He went, as everyone, to the elementary school in Skryhiczyn. The teacher kept saying that Jews smell of garlic and onion. When he later told them to write an essay on ‘Why do I love Poland?’, Froim wrote: ‘I love Poland, because lots of onion and garlic is grown here.’ Later he had Communist sympathies; he was arrested for hanging red flags on 1st May. Uncle Motel’s youngest son was called Dawid and he was my age, we were friends. Uncle also had three daughters: Bala, Hinda, and Zlata. Aunt Hanka [diminutive for Chana], Mom’s younger sister, used to grieve over Motel’s not giving his gifted children the education. She took to Czestochowa with her first Bala, who later became a nurse, a very esteemed one, and then Dawid, who completed high school thanks to her.

Motel was also raising Mom’s youngest brother, the one whose birth resulted in his mother death [in 1917]. His name was Henoch. He moved to Warsaw and founded a printing house. Motel’s youngest daughter, Hinda, a very pretty girl, worked there as well. I don’t know if there was anything between them, but I don’t think so. Henoch died very young of brain tumor.

Another Mom’s brother was called Jojl. He was a very good-looking man. He went to Russia, he took part in the revolution 4, but he got disillusioned [about Communism] and came back. He never got married; he lived with his younger brother Josel. Josel had a wife, Rachela, who came from Lodz, and five children, bright and pretty. He managed the farm, she was a seamstress and she also ran a tailoring school for country girls. They really struggled to get by, because they only had a small patch of land, same size as what my Mom inherited, seven hectare [ca. 17 acres]. I remember him bringing water in a bucket yoke, because he didn’t have his own well at the time and had to use the one in the middle of the village. We liked their home very much. Aunt Rachela was very cheerful and hospitable.

The eldest son of Josel and Rachela, Kalmus, [diminutive for Kalman] was more or less my age. After finishing elementary school he completed on his own [supporting himself] the gymnasium in Hrubieszow, a small town some twenty kilometers from Skryhiczyn. He worked hard every summer at his uncles’ farm during haymaking and harvest, and he also tutored, and that’s how he was able to pay for his education. He passed the final exams. He married a girl from Skryhiczyn, Hadasa Kaminer, our distant relative. It had been a puppy love. When the war broke out, they went to Russia, up-country. Well, their lives there weren’t all roses, naturally, but he worked in a mine, she worked in a canteen, and supposedly it was not that bad. Hadasa got pregnant, though, and wanted to go back to her mother, who was in Volodymir-Volyns’kyy at the time. When they were on their way back, the frontline moved forward and they disappeared without a trace. They were killed.

Kalmus’ younger brother was called Szmulek, [diminutive for Szmul] and his youngest Chaimek [Chaim]. He also had two sisters: Sara and Rywcia [Rywka]. Szmulek was not very fond of studying, unlike Kalmus. Chaimek was very talented, he also studied in Hrubieszow and later in Volodymir-Volyns’kyy [Volodymir-Volyns’kyy and Hrubieszow were the nearest towns with gymnasia]. During the war Chaimek, Surcia [Sara], and Rywcia were hiding in the woods around Skryhiczyn, but the Germans found their hideout and murdered them. Szmulek was the family’s sole survivor, he was in Russia and he emigrated to Israel right after the war, he still lives there. He got married, he has two children and many grandchildren.

My Mom had two sisters. The aunt I loved most was called Chana. There were these legends about her, that as a young girl she dared walk around Dubienka [a small town near Skryhiczyn] barefoot, it was unacceptable, how come the granddaughter of  t h e  Motel Rottenberg walked barefoot?! She took part in the demonstrations in Dubienka, and she ended up in the Bund 5. It was there she met her future husband, Aron Perec, who was a dentist from Zamosc. They moved to Czestochowa. They had two children, Zosia [Zofia] and Mietek [Mieczyslaw], whom we always used to spend the summer holidays in Skryhiczyn with. You might say we were raised together, we were like brothers and sisters. I remember my sister Zlatka [diminutive for Zlata] playing four hands [piano duet] with Mietek, they were both very musically gifted. In 1939 Aunt [Chana] and Uncle [Aron] left all their belongings in Czestochowa and fled to Volodymir-Volyns’kyy [After the outbreak of the war many people, especially Jews, fled the Germans eastwards, to the Soviet-occupied areas.]. When my sister and I reached Volodymir, they were already there. They later enrolled for going to up-country Russia [People from the Soviet-occupied parts of Poland could volunteer for work in the eastern federative states of the Soviet Union]. Zosia finished school there, she became an English teacher. They came back to Poland after the war.

Mom’s other sister, the youngest one, was called Ita. She was the only one to live with her father, my Grandfather Hersz Horowicz. She studied and passed her final high school exams in Lodz. Inspired by a teacher she left for the already Soviet Russia and she lived there until her death. Her husband was called Rylski, he was the then First Secretary of the Polish Communist Party 6. They lived in Moscow, they had three children. She was shot with her husband in 1937, at the time of the Jagoda trials 7. They were later rehabilitated of course; their sons even received some kind of compensation. As for their children, they really had a tough life. The girl, Iwonka [diminutive for Iwona], was taken care of by her mother’s friend. Later she got married and lives in Israel now. Both Ita’s sons went to an orphanage. The elder one, Olgierd, was rebellious and ended up in prison as a teenager, and later was sent to Siberia. After Stalin’s death, in 1956 perhaps, we started looking for them, we established contact and both Olgierd and Michal came back to Poland, they settled in Warsaw. [Joseph Stalin died in 1953. A political loosening followed in the Soviet Union and its satellite states.]

My Mom’s name was Mariem Szyfra. I found out it was ‘Mariem’ later, I’d always thought she was called ‘Maria’. She was born in 1886, she was the eldest child. I don’t know when exactly she got married; I’m assuming she wasn’t very young. She met her husband through a matchmaker. I heard she also tried to liberate herself [emancipate], just like Aunt Chana. As all the girls from Skryhiczyn she completed five years of gymnasium, she used to learn French, she had some education. But eventually she let them find her a husband. My father was called Mosze Rosset. They lived in Volodymir-Volyns’kyy, but later, still before World War I, they moved to Lublin with my eldest sister.

Mom was very pretty, a bit plump. She was a very good person. After Father’s death [in 1933], for example, we rented an apartment in Volodymir and we had a neighbor who was even poorer then us. She was a widow with two children, who made her living selling things at the market and fairs. She cooked a meal only once a week. Mom, although really poor herself, used to take this woman’s daughter with us on summer holidays to feed her up a bit. Mom was remarkably absent-minded. There were jokes about the whole Horowicz family, they were all considered scatter-brains, they often got distracted, absent-minded, forgetful, and Mom was no different, she would always lose her keys and such. She was not a very religious person, unlike my father. Father was very religious. I remember him attaching the straps with the biblical Commandments [tefillin] to his forehead before prayers. He prayed alone, every day. I don’t remember him wearing a yarmulka. He told me not all the religious regulations were reasonable but had to be kept nevertheless, as they allowed Jews to maintain their tradition and identity. There were arguments sometimes, when Mom mixed the milk knife up with the meat one or some such. Mom’s relatives valued Father higher than her, because she was absent-minded and not religious, and he was religious. They also liked my Father for his sense of humor, he was witty.

Father stayed home once a week, he had his business trips; I think he traded in grain. He was a middleman. He also had a job in Rejowiec [a small town ca. 50 km south-east of Lublin], he kept the books for a flour mill. I was not really interested at the time in what he did. He always came home [to Lublin] on Fridays and we had a holiday dinner. Mom lit the candles. Father used to drink a small glass of vodka before the meal. He produced it himself from wheat. He would come home on Friday and leave again on Sunday. When we were in Skryhiczyn for the summer, he would come to us just the same, Saturday only.

My elder sister was born in 1909, I was born in 1918. The age gap was quite big. Later our youngest sister was born, a year and a half my junior. My eldest sister was called Sara Zlata, we called her Zlatka. I was nicknamed Zunia [diminutive for Zuzanna]. The younger one was called Hilka. I’m not sure what was her name in the birth certificate, Hinda I think, or perhaps Hilara? Zlatka was born still in Volodymir and us already in Lublin. Zlatka moved to Warsaw to study when she was 16. She studied Polish history at the Warsaw University. She already had Communist sympathies back then. She spent a year in prison for some political affairs. With a sentence like this she was unable to find a work as a teacher. She gave private lessons; she was a very good math tutor. She earned so well on tuition that she was even able to help Mom a little. My father’s political views differed from my sister’s but I got the impression he was nevertheless proud of her in a way. It might have something to do with the fact people were not so hostile towards the communists before the war as they are now, ommunists and socialists were thought to be people fighting for their ideals. Father was generally on better terms with Zlatka than with me and Hilka. Maybe it was because he was younger when she was young, I don’t know.

My younger sister Hilka was, as Zlatka used to say, the wisest of us all. She was truly very gifted, but she was also the so-called problem child. Mom always gave in to her. Hilka had her whims, she could say some day she didn’t want to go to school and she wouldn’t go. As a matter of fact, she didn’t have such superb grades in her first years at school, maybe she just didn’t feel like learning. But then she had a year off, because Mom could not afford to send us both to school; I went to Lublin to school and she stayed in the country with Mom. It was a very tough time for her. When she started to go to school in Volodymir again a year after Father’s death in 1933, she studied really hard and was an outstanding student.

Hilka and I were born already in Lublin. We lived in a house on 1 Cicha Street. Cicha was a small cross-street of Trzeciego Maja Street, right in the center of Lublin. There were many Jews living in Lublin, in some quarters more than in the others. On Lubartowska Street, in the Old Town, beyond the Grodzka Gate around the synagogue lived almost exclusively Jews I think. But there were no formal restrictions. Neither we nor Grandpa Rosset lived in the Jewish quarter.

We had a second floor apartment, with a balcony, three rooms, and a kitchen, no bathroom. Zlatka had her own tiny room while she still lived with us in Lublin. It was a narrow room with a bed and a bookshelf. The dining room and parents’ bedroom were big. We had nice, solid furniture in the ‘gdanski’ style [huge, dark, ornate, middle-class], Mom got them as a gift before she got married. The rooms formed a suite, the kitchen was spacious, a hall, balcony. It was very cozy in there. It was nothing luxurious; our friends said the apartment was dark. Mom sold it all when Father died and she wanted to move away.

Was my family wealthy? Middle-class, I’d say. We had that apartment, which cost much, the food was cheap, Father was paying for my sister’s studies. Mom always used to argue with Father - that he wasn’t bringing enough money, that he was helping his family; she wanted us to have bicycles for example and he couldn’t afford that. But generally we had everything we needed.

Throughout my childhood, until my Father’s death, we always had a maid. Mom would usually bring some girls from the country, from Skryhiczyn. One of them was Olga Mickiewicz, who was Christian-Orthodox. There was this story about her that she got appendicitis while she lived with us and she was treated in the Holy Ghost Hospital, managed by the Sisters of Charity [Catholic nuns, whose mission is looking after the sick]. We went to see her every day, and when she got well and came back home it turned out she had vowed to one of the sisters that she will convert to Catholicism. The sisters started to pay us visits, because they wanted her to keep her promise. The girl had to quit [her job as Rossets’ maid] and go back home, because she was not willing to change her confession after all. The last of our housekeepers was called Jadzia, a very nice, gentle girl. She had a fiancé, who later left her and my sister Zlata took care of her and soon enough turned her into a leftist activist and had her come to Warsaw. Having a maid wasn’t all that expensive back then. Mom used to sew for us by herself, she did the shopping, but we always had a housekeeper.

We spoke Polish at home. Mom spoke Yiddish, Polish, and Hebrew, because some families in Skryhiczyn spoke Hebrew [Knowledge of Hebrew in the Rottenberg family resulted from the religiousness of the elder generation on one hand and the popularity of Zionism among the young on the other]. Grandpa and Grandma Rosset spoke Yiddish. I don’t know why, but it so happened that our parents spoke to us in Polish and used Yiddish when talking to each other. I was accustomed to Yiddish, I understood everything, I could read, I remember there were only Yiddish papers in the house. Father tried to introduce us to Jewishness, he told us about the holidays, taught us Hebrew. I’ve forgotten everything since.

We celebrated all the holidays, Father always made sure we did. I remember Easter [Pesach] the best, because then we’d have the seder, a festive family supper, and my sister would come from Warsaw. The house had to be cleaned, scrubbed before the Holidays, including all the drawers. I remember I once found, to my horror, a slice of dried bread in my table drawer. I didn’t tell my Father and threw it out as soon as possible. We had a separate set of dishes, used exclusively on Easter. If a particular dish wasn’t double [without a Pesach counterpart], it had to be put into boiling water. The cupboard was full of matzot, we were not allowed to eat a single slice of bread for the whole eight days, and indeed we didn’t. We only ate matzot, which Mom would use to prepare many different dishes, for example a cake from matzah flour that you bake similarly to a sponge-cake, or an omelette, the so-called matzebray. You make it like this: first you soak the matzot in water or milk, then add some eggs, two eggs for two matzot, whip the whites, add some salt to taste. You then form a sort of pancake out the mass and fry it on a pan. I still prepare it sometimes.

The seder looked like this: Father sat on a coach in the dining room, the table was pushed closer to the coach, Mom would place pillows on it, because the tradition demanded that the head of the family was comfortable. We all sat at the table, the candles were lit. Father had some matzot of special importance. There was that custom that children could steal the matzot from their father and hide them, he would look for them and if he couldn’t find them, the children could say wishes and he had to fulfill them. [Editor’s note: The most popular form of the custom was different. The last piece of matzah was hidden from the children and they were given small gifts when they found it.] Naturally, Father had never found any matzot and we could say a wish. Mom prompted us to ask for bikes, but either we had different dreams or we had mercy on him, and our wishes were much more modest… I remember asking him for a drawing pad, oh, Mom was so angry with me! Father would naturally promise to buy the things we wanted, we’d show him where the matzot were and the seder would start. There is this custom that during the seder a child asks its father four questions about the Jewish Exodus from Egypt. I was always the one to ask, although it was supposed to be the youngest child. My sister Hilka was very moody and she wouldn’t always do what she was asked to. So it was me who asked the questions in Hebrew and Father answered, reading them aloud. That [Exodus] Haggadah is very long but I think he only read excerpts of it because I don’t remember being bored at the table, just some joking, laughing, and finally a normal supper, consisting usually of dishes like broth and chicken. In the meantime Father would drink six, I think, glasses of wine. We weren’t given the wine, maybe a sip. Father would always joke a bit when drinking the wine. There was also a glass left for the prophet, but he never showed up.

My sister Zlatka usually came home for the holiday. They lasted eight days and supposedly she couldn’t stay that long, so she would leave after four days. Father once asked her not to eat bread during the remaining days of the holiday. She was already a grownup and an atheist at the time, and she told him she didn’t want to make him such promise since she wouldn’t keep it. And he blurted out: ‘In that case I won’t send you the tuition money anymore.’ In a fit of pique, she said: ‘Alright then.’ And from then on she wouldn’t accept any money from him.

Easter was a holiday one remembers well, just before the spring would come, it was very nice. And there were also Kuczki [Sukkot] in the Fall. A shack would be made in Grandpa Rosset’s backyard and the meals would be eaten in it. There was also Purim, Mom baked special poppy seed cookies for the occasion, they were called hamantashen; it had something to do with a story of some sorts [the story of the evil Haman]. Purim wasn’t celebrated the way it is done nowadays in Israel, no one wore costumes. We had the Rosh Hashanah holiday, when Father used to say people should enjoy themselves and gave us apples spread with honey. Then Yom Kippur would come, the fast, you weren’t allowed to eat from one evening till the next. My Mother, the kind person she was, always used to bake lots of cakes for that holiday and leave them in an open cupboard so that the children wouldn’t starve to death. And so I just decided to fast once, when I was older; I tried not to eat anything and somehow I made it. Mom, however, always fasted and went to the synagogue with my Father. That was the only occasion she would pray. I guess that’s the most important holiday of all, Yom Kippur.

Before we started to go to school [until 1930], Mom had always taken us to Skryhiczyn right after Easter. She used to say the urban air was not healthy for the children. So we would pack a horse cab full of baskets with cooking pots, bedclothes, and everything, and leave. We used to go to the country in early spring and leave at the end of summer.

The whole big family Rottenberg lived in Skryhiczyn. There was Skryhiczyn-Dwor [Manor] and Skryhiczyn-Folwark [Farm], 3 kilometers apart. All that owned one family [the Rottenbergs]. During our first visits we probably all stayed in the manor. Later the land was divided between the heirs [According to the book Rottenbergowie znad Buga it happened in 1926.] and Mom got her 17 acres at Skryhiczyn-Folwark. Mom’s cousin, who worked in a sawmill, rented her a large shed. I remember the building clearly, we stayed there with my sister and a friend of her; it was a room with a cooking stove. And later Mom decided to build a house. There was a brick wall on the land she inherited, the remaining three had been pulled down, I don’t know why. A house was built. It had three rooms and an annex with a traditional country kitchen, with a large stove which you could sleep on, and which you baked bread in. The kitchen was built before the house was finished, we spent our first holidays there. Aunt Hanka [Chana Perec, mother’s sister] came to visit us and she liked the place, and added one more room with a balcony and a large kitchen. And so the house had two porches, a balcony, and a great attic. We had our tenant farmers, the Blanders, living in the house whole year round. It was a couple with three children, very religious Jews. He’d earlier worked for some Germans; he was a very good farmer. He built a barn next to the house, had his own horses, a cattle. When the house was finished, one room was occupied by the Blanders and we would take the other two. When we were gone, they used the whole house, and when we came, their two sons slept in the attic.

There were five more houses in Skryhiczyn-Farm apart from ours, among them Aunt Masza Halperin’s [sister of Zlata Horowicz, Ms. Mensz’s grandmother; the age gap between the sisters was so great that Masza had Ms. Mensz’s mother’s age despite being her aunt], and in Skryhiczyn there was the manor and the houses of our Uncles Motel and Josel, and of the Kaminers, who were from our family as well. There was a sawmill between the Manor and the Farm, where the Szydlowski family lived, also our relatives. A bit farther stood the house of a Ukrainian, Demczuk (his wife still lives there). Farther still was the village, where the peasants lived. I’ve retained in my memory the Techewiczers, a Jewish family. They had a big house; a boy who was friends with my one of my cousins, Guta, lived there. Apparently her parents did not approve of that, as she always used take me along as a chaperone. The boy made beautiful figures out of wood; he carved a whole chess set for example. He was later a well-known painter in Israel, had his exhibition. There was also the Bocian family, who we bought meat from, they had a little store where we used to go and have ice-cream. A Bocians’ boy later married a Ukrainian, they lived in Russia; their daughter was a doctor. There were not too many Poles. The Ukrainians prevailed, as everywhere in the Lublin region.

Aunt Chana didn’t come too often but she always sent her children, Zoska and Mietek. A whole bunch of kids used to come to Skryhiczyn every summer, an awful lot of people, and all of them family. Skryhiczyn is our legend, our happy childhood. We had this game, it went on and on. It was called The Kingdom of Fun. The idea was of course Ida Merzan’s [née Halperin, daughter of Masza, 1907-1987, educationist and writer, associate of Janusz Korczak]. We had a Queen, it was always Sara, Ida’s sister, the most beautiful of the girls; we made a bulletin, flags. It went on for years. We used to go swimming in the Bug river, three kilometers from the Farm, and visit the uncles at the Manor on our way back, they would give us treats and we would go back to the Farm. We often worked in the fields, helping harvesting or threshing. The harvest was still done with scythes. We tied the sheaves and carried them over to the barn. There was a treadmill in the barn and we tossed the sheaves into the threshing machine. We helped our tenant farmers that way, although it was not our duty. When there was some work to do, we did it with pleasure.

Many of the younger members of our Skryhiczyn family left for Israel [Editor’s note: Palestine] before the war. During my first visit to Israel [in 1959] I met people from Skryhiczyn I didn’t know, but I’d known their parents. Why would they emigrate? I suppose their primary motive was the idea. They were Zionists; they wanted the state Israel to come into being. But apart from that, those young people had no perspectives in Poland. The seemingly huge estates did not allow paying for the children’s education. Well, at least not many of them did study. Ida Merzan, who came from Chisinau already after completing high school, literally forced her mother to send her younger sisters to school. She arranged for them to have a teacher, a friend of Zlatka, and she coached them a bit. She then sent them to the elementary school in Dubienka. Ida’s sister Hanka, who rode on horseback, used to say: ‘I don’t need to learn geography – I know how to get to Dubienka anyhow.’ They did go to school eventually, however, and they all worked for Korczak at the Orphans’ House 8. Ida’s two sisters later emigrated to Israel and set up their families there.

I started my studying late, either; I went straight to gymnasium. I’d studied at home before because as soon as I’d gone to the kindergarten or school I’d caught a cold. I would always get tonsillitis. They would put compresses on my neck and ears, because I’d get ear inflammation in no time, and so I lay all wrapped up. First a surgeon-barber would come to see me, then, if the illness lasted long, a doctor, his name was Wajnberg. During the summer stays in the country I was sickly just the same. I even remember lying on a sun lounger covered to the chin despite the heat. When I was ten some famous doctor came to Lublin and told my parents I ought to have my tonsils removed. And so I had a surgery and got my tonsils removed. But I haven’t grown too tall and it’s said that the lack of tonsils affects your height.

Mom thought I inherited sickliness from my father. As a child he’d fallen ill with tuberculosis that hadn’t been treated completely and he used to have relapses. He was treated in Krynica and later he went to Otwock [well-known health resorts in Poland]. He also had a heart condition. He never was a completely healthy person. I was ten when he fell ill. I remember we came back home from the summer holidays and Mom told us to be quiet because Father had got ill. It was his first heart attack. He hardly worked anymore from that time on. He lay at home, he was on diet. I lasted three years that way. He did some business sometimes; some clients came to see him. I’m not sure how Mom managed it financially through that couple of years until we finished our schools. They had some savings, I suppose. We had a small profit off the land. My elder sister had already completed her studies by then, she lived in Warsaw; she was a private tutor and helped Mom, she sent her money. Mom also did some tailoring, embroidering, she had a special embroidering machine; she learned how to use it and sold her products.

It all happened at the same time – Father’s illness and my going to gymnasium. Mom convinced Father to send us to a public school, where you had to attend on Saturdays, instead of a private, expensive Jewish gymnasium. Father wouldn’t allow it at first but we had no money. A public gymnasium was much cheaper – the monthly tuition fee was 20 zlotys, while the private ones cost 60 zlotys [a craftsman earned on average approx. 60 zlotys per month]. The problem was, they allowed only ten percent of the students to be Jewish 9; out of 30 students [in the class] there was the three of us Jewish girls. There was an entry exam. I passed it and was admitted. The school was called the Union of Lublin Public [Girls’] Gymnasium.

I was an average student. I was taught geography by Ms. Chalubinska, the daughter of the geographer Chalubinski [Tytus Chalubinski (1820-1889) – doctor, botanist, explorer of the, founder of the Tatra Mountains Museum]. I wasn’t that good at geography but I liked the teacher. I also liked the nature teacher. I read a lot. I used to go to the Macierz Szkolna library [Polish Education Community, a national education organization founded in 1905] ever since my first year, the librarians offered me books, gave advice. When I was a bit older I started to use the LSS [Lublin Food Producers’ Cooperative] library as well. They had translations of many Soviet books, the revolutionary literature. I’m sure they had Gorky [Maxim Gorky (1868-1936) – Russian and Soviet writer, creator of the Socialist realism literary style], but also How the Steel Was Tempered [a socialist realism novel by N. Ostrovsky]. I read Dostoyevsky at the time as well [Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1821-1881) – Russian writer].

I sure had school friends, we went to see each other. I remember Zosia Grudzinska, I met her in Lublin after the war. Many of them were killed. I had a friend in a higher grade, she was called Halinka Zandberg. We met in Lwow during the war, she already had a child, her husband was in the army. I know she was killed in the Lublin ghetto.

I had two major influences around me: my sister agitated for Communism and my cousin Sara Leja from Skryhiczyn for Zionism. And I was unfortunately very easily influenced… I remember Sara always took walks with me one summer and agitated. I guess it would be probably better for me if I opted for Zionism. Eventually, however, I followed my sister’s steps. There was this youth organization in Lublin, active in many schools which were under Communist influence. When I was in fifth or sixth grade my sister asked a friend to coach me, and I started to attend a self-study club. We read pamphlets by Radek [Karol Radek, real name Sobelson (1885-1939) – born in Poland, Communist activist in the Soviet Union, he took part in the October Revolution, sentenced for 10 years in 1937, he died in prison], we learned from them.

My Father died in Skryhiczyn in July 1933. He was buried in Dubienka. Mom set up a gravestone there. The tomb made it through the war but under the Communist rule the area was turned into a machine depot. That’s how it was – the Jewish cemeteries were being erased. The Turkish ones have not been destroyed, nor the Armenian, nor the Russian, only the Jewish ones.

Lots of things changed after Father’s death. Mom sold our Lublin apartment and moved to Skryhiczyn with Hilka. Hilka had a year off from school, as Mom couldn’t afford to send us both to school. I was left in Lublin by myself, Mom arranged for me to stay with some friends of her and to have dinners at some others’ house, and that’s how I spent the year. A year later we moved to Volodymir-Volyns’kyy. My parents had already planned to move to the city, 30 kilometers from Skryhiczyn. It was cheaper there than in Lublin, and Mom had some friends there.

In Volodymir we lived in a different place every year. We would go to school on 1st September and Mom would place us for a month or so at her friends’ or some Father’s relatives’. She would then come to the town, rent an apartment for nine or ten months and afterwards we would go back to the country again, to Skryhiczyn. Volodymir was a cheap place; you could find an apartment easily. I completed gymnasium there, I went to the public Copernicus Gymnasium. I came from a girls’ school in Lublin to a coeducational one in Volodymir and found it hard to settle in, so many boys. Besides, I only spent two years there, until my final exams.

After my exams I went to Warsaw, to my sister Zlatka. Mom stayed in Volodymir with Hilka. We lived in a rented room on Ogrodowa Street. My sister made her living with private tutoring, I also got a few people to coach and that’s how I earned some money. But Zlatka wanted me badly to have a profession. I said I wanted to become a nurse and she found me a nursing school. It was located on Dworska Street, at the Czyste quarter hospital 10. Ms. Szindler, Ms. Lubowska, and Ms. Bielicka taught at the school. (Luba Bielicka is a well-known person; she even has a memorial plate in Warsaw, because she ran the school during the German occupation.) They were very strict teachers. Only Ms. Bielicka was a bit more approachable, maybe because she was also a bit happier. Ms. Szindler completed Florence Nightingale’s nursing school in England [Florence Nightingale (1820-1910) – English nurse, founder of the very first nursing school] and she based her school on the principles applied there. The education at the school lasted two and a half years. We only had the theory during the first six months and afterwards we practiced in various wards at the [Czyste] hospital. At first our duty was simply to clean the tables and provide such help, and only in the following years we were allowed to carry out medical procedures. It was a Jewish hospital, meaning it was financed by the Jewish community of Warsaw. The patients varied, however most of them were Jews. Same with the doctors. Naturally, there were often patients who didn’t speak Polish, but I understood everything and was able to communicate with them. It was a big hospital, lots of buildings, all kinds of wards. Nowadays there’s a children’s hospital there.

During my first year in Warsaw I stayed with my sister. Later she moved to Vienna to the man she loved, Srul Bursztyn, who worked there. I think it was in 1937 or 1938. It was an affection dating back to their school years. And anyway, we were friends with his whole family; they lived in Lublin, used to come to Skryhiczyn for the summer. He was a Communist, just like her. Right after she’d arrived there was the Anschluss 11 and Hitler took over Vienna. At that time many communists, with the help from various people, were somehow being transported to England. They were given money for the flight which they returned once they’d reached England. Anyhow, she went to England and someone helped her find a job as a maid. Some time later came her fiancé, who already held an engineering degree, and got a job at a factory. They got married just before the war, in 1939. I remember Mother getting the letter with the news of their wedding. She was happy her daughter got married.

When I was in the nursing school I lived in a dormitory on Dworska Street. There were like four of us in each room. They stressed keeping things in order very much. You had to air your room in the morning, keep your closet perfectly organized. There were many different girls, coming from various families, and I was not the only one who had to learn how to maintain such perfect order as was required. We had a day off once a month.

I used to go to the movies a lot before the war. First with Mom, in Lublin, to children’s movies, later with my school and on my own. I still remember seeing Ben Hur in Lublin. In Warsaw I used to go to the Uciecha Movie Theater, on Leszno Street or maybe Wolska Street. It would usually be Polish comedies, starring Dymsza, Bodo [Adolf Dymsza, Eugeniusz Bodo – Polish film actors, entertainers, and pre-war movie stars]. I also saw Soviet movies, which made a huge impression on me, for example Counterplan [aka Turbine Number 50.000, with score by the famous composer Dmitriy Shostakovich], about the making of Socialism, The Road To Life, Eisenstein’s Battleship Potemkin [Sergey Eisenstein (1898-1948) – innovative Soviet film director and theorist, author of propagandist historical film epics]. Sometimes the nursing school took us to the movies; I remember seeing The Lady Of The Camellias. I didn’t go to the theater that much. I sometimes used to get free tickets to the satirical theater Qui Pro Quo a relative of mine worked at. Krukowski was among the performers [Kazimierz Krukowski (1902-1984) – an actor and entertainer].

After my younger sister Hilka had passed her final gymnasium exams Mom sold her land in Skryhiczyn and bought a house in Falenica, just outside Warsaw. It might have been 1938. I was already a student of the nursing school. Mom wanted to live closer to us. We had a deal my sister would start her studies when I completed the school. During the remaining year she gave private lessons, lived with Mom. I used to visit them on my days off. There were two houses next to each other in Falenica. One was relatively small, consisting of four rooms and a kitchen. The former janitor lived in one of the rooms. The owner who sold the house to Mom asked her to let her stay. And Mom said yes. The second house had not been finished off yet. In 1939 Mom found a tenant for the house for the summer. She lived there the entire war. Some more people moved in, finished the house off and boarded it up, so it started to be inhabited. The house still stands there, I’d like to get it back but I didn’t know how to deal with that. You’d need a lot of money.

When the war broke out I was in Warsaw, at the Czyste hospital. Most of the personnel moved eastwards after the order from the government 12. Maybe five students stayed, the rest went back to their homes. The school was closed. Only the housekeeper stayed and she cooked us meals. We worked at the hospital. The patients able to go home left. When the battles outside the city started the hospital quickly filled up with the wounded, they simply lay all over the floor. Since there were no personnel and no supplies only few of the wards were open, surgery the longest.

In Wola [the quarter of Warsaw where the Czyste hospital was located] the water works and the power plant were destroyed early on by an air strike [Editor’s note: the Wola power plant was destroyed on 23rd September, just before the end of the siege]. We had to go fetch the water in buckets. It was really tough. The air strikes never ceased. The sky was clear throughout that September and all the targets were clearly visible, and the Germans loved to bomb hospitals. Many buildings were destroyed. If the bombing got real bad, we moved all [the patients] to the basement. Once, when everyone was already downstairs, I realized there was a feverish wounded man left upstairs. We went to get him with a young doctor, who was lame and therefore hadn’t escaped to the east. We put the wounded on stretchers and brought him to the basement. A moment later a bomb hit the room he’d lain in. At some point they bombed our kitchen and stores and it hurts me to say this, but there were many people [who lived nearby] who simply stole our flour, sugar, everything, all the hospital’s supplies. We were then included in the army hospitals’ supply. After Warsaw’s surrender we had to wait three days for a soup delivery [28th September, 1939] 13. The wounded were given soup served by the German soldiers. The Germans were acting in a very arrogant way, they jeered at us. That’s when I learned to hate them so much I wanted to be as far from them as possible.

During the siege of Warsaw my sister Hilka was in Falenica with Mother. They heard about the bombing and were sure I’d been killed. Hilka came to look for me. We went to Falenica together on foot. Various friends began to show up in Falenica, staying at my Mom’s on their way east [to the Soviet-occupied, eastern parts of Poland]. My sister and I decided to go east as well. Unfortunately, we left Mother in Falenica. We thought we’d have her come as soon as we settled. We had a weak imagination. It later turned out the janitor living with us was German. When the Germans marched in she told my mother to get out because from then on the whole house belonged to her. We didn’t know about it all. Mom went to Skryhiczyn and stayed there. I later found out she went to Lublin on her way from Warsaw and she spoke to a friend she had much respect for and he advised her against going to Russia. He knew it from his own experience: his son had gone to Lwow and later come back because otherwise he would be arrested. Later we tried to bring Mom to us. You could get a special permission from Stalin to cross the border. I got it for Mom and sent it to her in a letter to Falenica. It probably got there too late for her to receive it. And Mom did not come. We exchanged letters later on, I sent her parcels.

Hilka and I left Falenica and went to Skryhiczyn. The border had already been closed, but there were people in Skryhiczyn who could smuggle you by night across the Bug river in a boat [the river Bug defined the demarcation between the German and Soviet occupation zones]. When we got to Skryhiczyn we met my cousin Kalmus with some young people from Lodz and we crossed the Bug together and went to Volodymir-Volyns’kyy.

In Volodymir I started to work in an infectious diseases hospital [as a nurse]. It was my first real job and I was very glad to be working at last. Hilka learned later you could enroll for studying in Lwow and so she went there with some friends. She started to study agriculture. We made a deal I would earn the money for the time being and she would study. She was a very good student, she was very happy. In 1940 I joined her in Lwow. I wanted to study medicine but I failed the entry exams. I started to work at the Na Gorce hospital, in the children’s ward. I shared a room with three other girls. Hilka’s department was later moved to Dublany, a town outside of Lwow [10 km from the city]. I used to come to see her on Sundays. It was always a great joy.

And the war broke out again [German – Soviet war, in June 1941] 14, and the Germans bombed Lwow. I remember the day the air strikes began [23rd June] Hilka and our cousin Guta Rotenberg from Volodymir stayed over at my place, we slept on the floor. Guta decided: ‘I have to be with my Mom’ and soon left for Volodymir. We tried to talk her out of it, to persuade her to go east. Our cousin Ita Kowalska was just about to leave Lwow with her family at the time. But Guta came back to her mother and they were both killed.

[Right after the first bombing] my sister went to Dublany, to the university. And I left for work. I don’t remember exactly how it happened, I think someone came over to the hospital and told us a car was waiting outside and we should leave. In all that rush I just got in the car and left with them. But on the way I came upon a student, a friend of my sister’s, who told me Hilka was in Lwow and he gave me the address. I came back to Lwow and found my sister. A draft notice was waiting for me at home – I was to report to the Soviet army as a nurse. I didn’t even think about disobeying. We decided Hilka would come to me to the barracks everyday and when it was time for me to leave Lwow, she would leave with me. And come she did. There was a terrible air strike one day and they put all of us drafted to the Red Army in a double line and we marched out heading for Kiev. Our commander lead the column for some time and then told us to use whatever means of transport available, because there were lots of cars with people and their belongings and you could get a lift. He said our rallying point was the school in Zhytomir. And somehow I managed to get to that school. In Zhytomir they put us in a freight train to Kiev, and in Kiev we were told there were no uniforms for us, they gave us some pay and disbanded the unit.

Once I got to Kiev I started to visit the places the evacuees from Lwow stayed at looking for my sister but I didn’t find her. Eventually I met a large group of her fellow students and was told she hadn’t left Lwow. She said: ‘Whatever happens to all of us, I’ll stay, too.’ She managed to make it through to our Mother. She stayed with Mom in Skryhiczyn where they were both killed along with everyone else. Those friends of hers also told me some military group is being formed, that they’d applied but hadn’t been accepted because they came from Poland. I went there and they enlisted me, but only me. Apparently they needed a nurse. Kiev was almost encircled already so we left the city on foot and headed to Poltava.

It was all really well-organized, as the towns and villages along our way had been informed a military unit was to arrive and they’d prepared food and boarding for us. We usually covered between twenty and thirty kilometers a day. That way we got on foot to Poltava, where a so-called war town had been created. There were tents made of wood [sheds]. There were some women among us and we were put in a newsstand. There was a floor there and glass walls, so it was weatherproof. The commander said it was a palace, that the girls went to sleep in a palace. And so we slept there on the floor. We stayed very shortly in Poltava and we were soon transferred to Charkiv.

I met two students from Kiev in Poltava, Jewish girls from Ukraine, who have become my lifetime best friends. Roza was a bit older; she’d already finished her studies. She vouched for me, because I doubt they would accept a Polish girl into a military unit. She introduced me to the second one, Ania, who was also in the group marching from Kiev to Poltava. That’s how we’ve become friends. The three of us worked in a military hospital in Charkiv. We were like sisters, we shared everything. We lived together. Whenever one of us found out there was some extra food somewhere, she either let the others know or brought it home. We were young so we were always hungry.

We stayed in Charkiv for a month. Later the hospital was evacuated. They ordered that no women were to be sent to frontline units and so we were all transferred to Kemerovo in the Siberia. I spent the following two years there.

Kemerovo is a town in the western Siberia [200 km east of Novosibirsk]. It is situated on both banks of the river Om [Editor’s note: Tom]. On one side of the river the town was built of wood but densely populated, and on the other it looked as if it was still under construction. There was a single street with some brick houses, three- and four-story high. The town grew during the war, because they evacuated the factories from Charkiv and Kiev, mostly arms factories. I remember a giant Charkiv tractors factory, which made tanks instead of tractors after the evacuation. When we arrived we found two empty school buildings with beds and tables with tablecloths on them put by the children. We were supposed to set up a hospital there. The personnel were boarded with the locals. They didn’t have any decent houses, just that sort of large barracks. They had a corridor in the middle you entered the rooms from. Everyone had a room with a kitchen. We – me and another nurse – were hosted by a woman who worked in a factory all day long; her husband was in the army. She had an eight-year-old boy so she was glad there was always someone home when he got back from school. She had a bed and we were given a second one, and since we had night duties interchangeably we didn’t need separate beds.

The hospital in Kemerovo was located in school buildings. It was large, consisted of two buildings. We only had one real surgeon, the rest were general practitioners. Everybody was retraining back then. I was told to put plaster casts. In Poland casts were applied by doctors and in Russia it was done by technicians. There was this girl in Kemerov, a very good plaster technician. Because there were two buildings they decided to create a second casting room and to put me in charge of it. I didn’t have a clue about it but the girl taught me everything. To help me I was assigned a cleaning girl, Marusia, and a medical orderly who knew as much as I did. But I did learn and [the quality of] my casts was never questioned. It was a very tough work. Whole transports of wounded soldiers kept coming from the frontline; we had to remove all those pus-covered casts. They came all dirty, infested with lice. Whenever a train with the wounded came the personnel didn’t sleep for a few days straight, until we brought them back to normal.

I was the only Pole among the personnel. There were some Ukrainian girls and the whole staff of a Kiev hospital. I didn’t have anyone to speak Polish to, I didn’t speak Russian. But I learned fast and later I used only Russian. Once a fire broke out in a local factory, lots of people got burned. We went to the civilian hospital to give them a hand. I stood there helping with something when I heard a female doctor speak to a girl: ‘Zosia give me this, Zosia give me that.’ I later came up to that Zosia and it turned out she was Polish. So I started to use Polish again.

During my stay in Kemerov I contacted Aunt Chana and Uncle Aron Perec. In 1939 they were in Volodymir as well and they volunteered there to go to up-country Russia. They went to Orel [a city ca. 360 km south of Moscow]. When it was time for evacuation, they moved to Kuybyshev [presently Samara, a city 800 km east of Moscow]. I found out about them somehow and we wrote letters to each other. Uncle Aron wrote me once there was a Polish paper being published in the USSR. It was published by the ZPP, Union of Polish Patriots 15. I subscribed to it. And from the paper I learned a Polish army is being formed and people were invited to enlist. The air was such that I wanted badly to fight; it seemed to me I wasn’t doing enough. So I wrote a couple of letters to Berling 16, to the ZPP, and got a draft notice some time later.

I went to Sielce near Ryazan [a city ca. 180 km southeast of Moscow] where the camp of the Second Dabrowski Division was located 17. It was in August 1943. I was assigned straight to the medical battalion – the sanbat. I wanted to be on the frontline as soon as possible so I volunteered for the assault battalion.

I met a friend of mine in the army, Helka Seid. She came from Hrubieszow [a town ca. 100 km east of Lublin], she was in the nursing school with me. She crossed the border in 1939 and the Russians arrested her. Her father was a Bund member and knew Molotov 18 from before the war. He used his influence and she was released from prison and sent to Kazakhstan instead 19. She lived in a kolkhoz [a collective farm] in the backwoods. Because she completed a year or two of a nursing school she passed as a doctor there, she treated everyone. She told me she was on good terms with the people. She later met Mietek Starkiewicz, who’d been in the Anders’ Army 20. He fell ill with typhoid fever and was not able to leave with the army. He stayed in that place [in Kazakhstan]. That’s how they met and they later got married. They were in the First Army. He came from Lwow, from the cadets’ school, a background completely different to hers. They had two children, they emigrated to Australia.

I met my future husband in the assault battalion. I felt very lonely there and suddenly someone took interest in me. My husband came from Lwow, his name was Wilhelm Mensz. He was born in 1920. His father was a representative for a Swiss company, he sold watches. When the war broke out, they were left with a certain amount of those watches and that was how they made their living. It was a Jewish family, although entirely assimilated [Polonized], they didn’t speak Yiddish at all. My husband had two brothers. The elder was called Aleksander, he was a Zionist. The younger, Poldek, was ten when the war broke out and he supported the whole family throughout the occupation. They were all killed in Lwow. My husband had started to study at the Lwow Technical University before the war. Early on he was drafted into the army [the Red Army]. Some time later they transferred all Poles out of the army [frontline units] and he ended up in a so-called stroy-battalion [Russian: stroitelnyy batalyon, construction battalion; people who were too politically suspicious to be sent to the frontline were assigned to such units] in the Kolyma. He nearly starved there, loss much weight, became weak. When he learned the Polish Army was being formed he escaped and made it to Sielce. And that was where we first met.

We came to Lublin in 1944 with the army. On our way there, while stationed somewhere near Chelm [a town ca. 60 km east of Lublin] I asked for a few days furlough and went to Volodymir. I wanted to find out about my family. During the war there was a German administrator at the Skryhiczyn manor. Everyone [from the family] had been reportedly evicted from the manor. I don’t know where they lived. And later all the Jews from that area were transported to Sobibor 21. I came upon a friend of my sister Hilka and she said she’d seen her on a horse wagon with the group which was to be transported [to Sobibor]. She urged her to escape but she didn’t. Apparently, she didn’t want to leave Mother alone. It was also then my husband learned about the death of his parents and brothers. And so we decided to be together.

In Lublin I found the sister of my brother-in-law, Bursztyn [husband of Ms. Mensz’s elder sister, Zlatka] and the first close relative from my family. It was my cousin Hania Lanota [Anna née Rottenberg, daughter of Szlomo, brother of Ms. Mensz’s grandmother, Zlata Rottenberg. Ms. Anna Lanota is also a Centropa interviewee.] I don’t recall it all that exactly but I think I’d had some business with the military commandant, he’d put down my name and when Lanota arrived in Lublin he told her I was around and gave her my telephone number. I recognized her voice right away. She escaped from outside Warsaw with Jadzia Koszutska. They were two heroes in Lublin, veterans of the Warsaw Uprising. They were both terribly gaunt, unbelievably, and Hania was pregnant. So that was my first meeting with someone from my family.

I soon found my other cousin, Esterka Rottenberg. Her father was Nusyn Rottenberg [brother of Zlata Rottenberg, Ms. Mensz’s grandmother]. He’d lived with his family in Skryhiczyn-Manor, right next to our house. Esterka survived the war in Volodymir-Volyns’kyy. She was 16 in 1939, she came to Volodymir on her own, she was given some training, taught how to make injections and she worked in a hospital. I met her then, we lived together. I later moved to Lwow while she stayed in Volodymir. She worked, went from village to village giving vaccinations. She was later in the ghetto. A group of nurses from the hospital she’d worked in hid all the doctors – Jews from Volodymir. When the [deporting] action was just about to start in the ghetto Esterka was taken by one of the nurses, her name was Stasia, and hid in a wardrobe in her apartment. Esterka had pneumonia then, she was ill overall. She was the sole survivor from her family.

After the war Esterka found two children, Hanka and Szmulek, from our relatives the Szydlowski family [Grandmother Zlata Rottenberg’s sister Fejga married Mosze Szydlowski; they were the children’s grandparents]. Their mother, Fryda, was a teacher. She left her two youngest children with a friend of her, also a teacher, in a village near Volodymir. They both survived. The boy didn’t want to leave Volodymir, he already went to school there, wanted to learn there, and he stayed in the teacher’s care. Esterka arranged for him, so that his uncle’s house was signed over to him. He later became an engineer and moved to Moldova. Hanka returned to Poland with Esterka. They went to Lodz, because Esterka had used to live there, she had some relatives. Ida Merzan put Hanka in a children’s home and Esterka moved in with Hania Lanota, who had already left Lublin. Esterka took care of Hania’s child, Malgosia. One day a relative of ours, who’d served in the British army 22, came to us from Israel and decided to take our whole family from Poland to Israel. He spent a whole night persuading us to go with him. Only Esterka and Hanka Szydlowska joined him.

I worked in Lublin as a nurse in the hospital of my military unit. It was a very small hospital. At first it was located in Majdanek 23 in one of the barracks and then we were given some different place. Generally we treated only sick soldiers, there were no wounded. My husband and I were quartered with some strangers. We were not exactly married yet, I didn’t care for all the weddings and formalities. You had to go the commander and announce you were a couple, and you’d be quartered together. We were later transferred to Katowice, to a unit stationed there. I was pregnant at the time and my husband said I ought to at least be able to get a benefit in case he was killed, and so we had a civil marriage. Our eldest son, Julek [diminutive for Julian], was born in February 1946. I quit the military right after my maternity leave, I didn’t like the institution.

When we were still in Katowice the Perec family came to see us, Aunt Chana [mother’s sister], Uncle Aron [her husband], and Mietek with his wife. Zosia stayed in Russia, because she got married there. Their whole family spent the war in Russia. They returned as repatriates 24. The repatriates from Russia were brought to the western parts of the country, where there were houses. They let us know in Katowice they were coming soon. It was a great joy. They later settled in Gliwice. Uncle was a dentist, he was given an apartment and he ran a dentist’s practice. Mietek, who was an engineer, got a job in a foundry. We kept in touch.

I went to see Skryhiczyn once after the war. The manor was ruined. The roof had got leaky, no one had fixed it and it had just gone from there. Few of the former inhabitants were alive; there was nobody to take care of it. The whole estate had had more than 250 acres so it was parceled out between the peasants [As a result of the 1944 land reform the big estates were divided into smaller farms and given to peasants]. There was one place in Skryhiczyn we visited regularly. It was the grave of our cousin Niuniek [Arie] Prywes. He was an engineer, he was drafted into the [Polish] army in 1939, his wife and child came to Skryhiczyn and he later joined them, but they didn’t manage to escape on time. He was a teacher there, he gave private lessons. In 1941, I think, a German was killed in the area, so they took three hostages, including Niuniek, and shot them just behind the manor. Their grave was located on the meadow behind the manor, and schoolchildren took care of it. A dozen or so years after the war the grave had to be exhumed, because some melioration works were to be conducted.

My husband was an officer. After spending some time in Katowice, in 1948 I think, he was transferred to Warsaw and we had to leave. We moved into the military quarters on Pulawska Street. Our son fell gravely ill at that time. We were told he got tuberculosis when he was 6 months old. We had a very good pediatrician, his name was Bialecki, and he told us to leave the city with the child. So we rented an apartment in Jozefow [near Warsaw] and I lived there with our son for a year. We couldn’t afford renting an apartment and me being a housewife, even though my husband had his salary and also received some food rations. But my sister Zlatka, who lived in London, helped us then. Some time later, in 1951 I guess, we were given an apartment here [downtown Warsaw]. In 1949 I started to work in the War Veterans Union. I had a decent salary. I worked as a clerk in the social services department. I thought it quite suited my profession. We set up children’s homes, arranged care for the disabled.

My sister Zlatka stayed in England for a couple more years after the war. We wrote letters to each other. She even came to see us. Her husband, Srul Bursztyn, didn’t want to come back to Poland but she had him come. They returned for good in 1949 I think. They lived in Warsaw. They came with their son, Jerzyk, who was born in England. Later they had two more sons: Wlodek and Andrzej. Zlatka was an editor in a popular science publishing house. Her husband worked in the PKPG [Polish Committee on Economic Planning] as the head of the technology department.

In 1948 my second son, Pawel, was born and in 1954 – my third, Piotrek [diminutive for Piotr]. The Veterans Union was closed down and I started to work in the radio, in the editorial staff of the Radio University. I took care of all the self-education clubs organized by the University. When my third son was born, I moved to Przyjaciolka [a weekly, still existing]. It was easier that way. I stayed home with my child and answered the readers’ letters. Later I worked normally again, in Przyjaciolka editorial office. The editor-in-chief was Hania Lanota at the time, the she left and I stayed. I used to work there until I retired, that is till I was 60.

The Kielce pogrom 25 was a painful experience; it made us realize there is anti-Semitism in Poland. You could sense it in post-war Poland, even though it was not supported [present] in the press, or the radio, or anywhere at all. Nevertheless, I had a job which involved trips in-country and meeting people, and many times I heard: ‘The Germans did one good thing, they cleansed Poland from Jews.’ I heard that a couple times, but I thought the government combated anti-Semitism and would eventually fight it off.

I was an enthusiast of the new order – I thought we were making a brave new Poland. I was in the party [PZPR] 26 until the Wujek coal mine shooting during the martial law 27. When I heard about it I gave back my membership card. But even before that I knew that’s not the way. My husband got disillusioned early on and turned to revisionism. He did not question the ideology as such but there were things he didn’t like and he would be vocal about it. He stayed in the army after the war. He completed extension degree in Polish history. He was a teacher in a military academy and he spoke or perhaps wrote about his doubts a bit too early. When Stalin died in 1953, critical voices rose in Russia about the cult of personality. My husband said something to that effect; a tad too early for Poland, it turned out. So they demobilized him in 1955 I think. He gave back his party membership card soon after the Khrushchev’s letter 28. He then worked in the Ksiazka i Wiedza publishing house as an editor. His health deteriorated early and he retired at the age of 55 – he was entitled to a military retirement plan. He died in 1991.

Some time around 1956 my brother-in-law [Srul Bursztyn] went to see his parents, who were already in Israel. When he got back, his desk was taken. He was an ambitious man and he said ‘no’. That’s when the first official anti-Semitic actions took place, firing people. My brother-in-law was pushed aside. And later their son Jerzyk was riding on a bus and heard some remarks: ‘What is this little Jew doing here?’ or something to that effect, and no one at all stood up to take his side. He was 15 or 16, he jumped out of the moving bus and told his mother: ‘I don’t know about you, but I’m leaving.’ And their youngest son came back home and said: ‘I don’t want to be a pretty little Jew’, because someone in the street said to him: ‘What a pretty little Jew.’ He sensed the offense in that. And so my sister’s husband and children made the decision. They left for Israel in 1956.

My brother-in-law got a job at Weizman’s Institute, a large research center in Rehovot, outside Tel Aviv. They were given an apartment there. Very nice place: woods, flowers, laboratories right next to the housing. After my brother-in-law’s death Zlata moved to Tel Aviv as her children wanted to have her closer. The boys changed their names in Israel to Hebrew ones, just like many people did. They’re now called Igal, Michael, and Arie. Igal is a filmmaker, Michael – medicine professor, and Arie is a choreographer and dancer.

I went to Israel for the first time in 1959 to see them. You were already allowed to visit your closest relatives abroad. My brother-in-law sent me the money for the ticket, the invitation form, and all the other formalities. I remember the long flight to Athens and a ship from there. You could only exchange five dollars worth in Poland – that was the limit. But it was enough; Israel was a relatively poor country back then. I liked the people there very much, they were so full of enthusiasm. Lot of work had been done, you could see the large amounts of labor invested – the watering systems for example – anywhere something was farmed. Most importantly, I was happy to see all my relatives who had emigrated to Israel back before the war as well as those who ended up there after the war. I felt like being in a sort of a branch of Skryhiczyn.

Some of them were pioneers in a large kibbutz in Kineret, some lived in Hedera, some in Tel Aviv. I met all my cousins there, Hanka Szydlowska, Esterka Rottenberg, Ida Merzan’s two sisters. Esterka got married, her name is now Szlomowicz, she’s got two daughters and plenty grandchildren. Hanka also established a very nice family in Israel, she has two gifted sons, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, she still looks young herself and she even drives a car. I also met the children of our tenant farmers the Blanders, Nuchym and Masza. First thing Nuchym did there it was he bought some land and a horse. He was great friends with my sister, she used to visit him often with her children, they loved it. I liked it very much in Israel and I’ve been there a couple times since.

We’ve never decided to leave for good. During the 1968 campaign of hate 29 lots of people left, many of my close friends, first of all Mietek Perec and his wife. We stayed. Maybe I still had faith in socialism, maybe I was attached to Poland, no use debating it. Our son Julek moved [to Denmark] later, in 1969 I think. When the opportunities arose, the young people started to go abroad; they saw opportunities for themselves there. He said before leaving: ‘Oh Mom, I’ll be able to work and study there.’ He emigrated and got a degree from a technical university there and worked as an engineer in the local company F.L. Smidt. He’s dead now. He died in 2002 of a heart attack. My younger son, Pawel, got a degree from the Warsaw Technical University, and Piotrek holds a degree in physics. Pawel later worked in an Institute of the PAN [Polish Academy of Science]. He went on a yacht cruise to America and was supposed to come back but the martial law was imposed and he stayed. He works in a university. My third son, Piotrek, lives in Canada. I have five grandchildren. My granddaughter Asia lives in Warsaw, Susanna in Denmark, and Janek, Olenka, and Izabella in the United States.

My opinion on the Solidarity 30? My elder son [Pawel] signed the students’ protests. My husband supported the movement. For me there were too many nationalist slogans, besides, I told my husband I didn’t want to be a member of any organization anymore. And I’m not. I’m a member of TSKZ 31, the veterans’ organizations, but I’m no activist. They send me invitations to lectures, and if it’s something interesting I go to listen to them. I had an accident there by the way, I fell, broke my leg, I suffered through a lot. I don’t go out anywhere now, I’ve been home for only a month and I’m still very weak.

GLOSSARIES

1 Gora Kalwaria

Located near Warsaw, and known in Yiddish as Ger, Gora Kalwaria was the seat of the well-known dynasty of the tzaddiks. The adherents of the tzaddik of Ger were one of the most numerous and influential Hasidic groups in the Polish lands. The dynasty was founded by Meir Rotemberg Alter (1789-1866). The tzaddiks of Ger on the one hand stressed the importance of religious studies and promoted orthodox religiosity. On the other hand they were active in the political sphere. Today tzaddiks from Ger live in Israel and the US.

2 The Wise Men of Lublin Yeshivah (Yid

: Yeshivas Chachmei Lublin): world-famous Talmudic school founded in 1930 in Lublin by Yehuda Meir Shapiro, chairman of the Polish branch of Agudas Yisroel and member of the Polish parliament. It was located in a large, six-story building on 85 Lubartowska Street. The parcel was donated by industrialist Samuel Eichenbaum. Specially created associations collected money throughout Poland; funds were also raised in other European countries and the United States. The opening of the school on June 24th, 1930 was a great event. The yeshivah was to become the world center of Talmudic science. Its educational system combined the rationalism of the Lithuanian schools with the mysticism of the Hasidim. The study lasted four years. The yeshivah amassed a huge book collection of more than 10,000 volumes. The 1933 death of Meir Shapiro, the founder and first President of the yeshivah, set off a crisis resulting from the debates over succession. Eventually, Shlomo Aiger became the President in 1935. In November 1939 the Germans took over the building and turned it into a hospital. After the war the building became a part of the Lublin Medical Academy campus. Since 2001 the former yeshivah belongs to the Warsaw Jewish community.

3 Warsaw Uprising 1944

The term refers to the Polish uprising between 1st August and 2nd October 1944, an armed uprising orchestrated by the underground Home Army and supported by the civilian population of Warsaw. It was justified by political motives: the calculation that if the domestic arm of the Polish government in exile took possession of the city, the USSR would be forced to recognize Polish sovereignty. The Allies rebuffed requests for support for the campaign. The Polish underground state failed to achieve its aim. Losses were vast: around 20,000 insurrectionists and 200,000 civilians were killed and 70% of the city destroyed.

4 Russian Revolution of 1917

Revolution, in which the tsarist regime was overthrown in the Russian Empire and, under Lenin, was replaced by the Bolshevik rule. The two phases of the Revolution were: February Revolution, which came about due to food and fuel shortages during World War I, and during which the tsar abdicated and a provisional government took over. The second phase took place in the form of a coup led by Lenin in October/November (October Revolution) and saw the seizure of power by the Bolsheviks.

5 Bund in Poland

Largest and most influential Jewish workers’ party in pre-war Poland. Founded 1897 in Vilnius. From 1915, the Polish branch operated independently. Ran in parliamentary and local elections. Bund identified itself as a socialist Jewish party, criticized the Soviet Union and communism, rejected Zionism as a utopia, and Orthodoxy as a barrier on the road towards progress, demanded the abolition of all discrimination against Jews, fully equal rights for them, and the right for the free development of Yiddish-language secular Jewish culture. Bund enjoyed particularly strong support in central and south-eastern Poland, especially in large cities. Controlled numerous organizations: women’s, youth, sport, educational (TsIShO), as well as trade unions. Affiliated with the party were a youth organization Tsukunft, and children’s organization Skif. During the war, the Bund operated underground, and participated in armed resistance, including in the Warsaw ghetto uprising as part of the Jewish Fighting Organization (ZOB) led by Marek Edelman. After the war, the Bund leaders joined the Central Committee of Polish Jews, where they postulated, in opposition to the Zionists, a reconstruction of the Jewish community in Poland. In January 1949, the Bund leaders dissolved the organization, urging its members to join the communist Polish United Workers’ Party.

6 Communist Party of Poland (KPP)

created in December 1918 in Warsaw, its aim was to create a global or pan-European federal socialist state, and it fought against the rebirth of the Polish state. Between 1921 and 1923 it propagated slogans advocating a two-stage revolution (the bourgeois-democratic revolution and the socialist revolution), the reinforcement of Poland’s sovereignty, the right to self-determination of the ethnic minorities living within the II Republic of Poland, and worker and peasant government of the country. After 1924, as in the rest of the international communist movement, ultra-revolutionary tendencies developed. From 1929 the KPP held the stance that the conditions were right for the creation by revolution of a Polish Republic of Soviets with a system based on the Soviet model, and advocated ‘social fascism’ and ‘peasant fascism’. In 1935 on the initiative of Stalin, the KPP wrought further changes in its program (recognizing the existence of the II Polish Republic and its political system). In 1919 the KPP numbered some 7,000-8,000 members, and in 1934 around 10,000 (37 percent peasants), with a majority of Jews, Belarus and Ukrainians. In 1937 Stalin took the decision to liquidate the KPP; the majority of its leaders were arrested and executed in the USSR, and in 1939 the party was finally liquidated on the charge that it had been taken over by provocateurs and spies.

7 Great Terror (1934-1938)

During the Great Terror, or Great Purges, which included the notorious show trials of Stalin's former Bolshevik opponents in 1936-1938 and reached its peak in 1937 and 1938, millions of innocent Soviet citizens were sent off to labor camps or killed in prison. The major targets of the Great Terror were communists. Over half of the people who were arrested were members of the party at the time of their arrest. The armed forces, the Communist Party, and the government in general were purged of all allegedly dissident persons; the victims were generally sentenced to death or to long terms of hard labor. Much of the purge was carried out in secret, and only a few cases were tried in public ‘show trials’. By the time the terror subsided in 1939, Stalin had managed to bring both the Party and the public to a state of complete submission to his rule. Soviet society was so atomized and the people so fearful of reprisals that mass arrests were no longer necessary. Stalin ruled as absolute dictator of the Soviet Union until his death in March 1953.

8 Korczak, Janusz (1878/79-1942)

Polish Jewish doctor, pedagogue, writer of children’s literature. He was the co-founder and director (from 1911) of the Jewish orphanage in Warsaw. He also ran a similar orphanage for Polish children. Korczak was in charge of the Jewish orphanage when it was moved to the Warsaw Ghetto in 1940. He was one of the best-known figures behind the ghetto wall, refusing to leave the ghetto and his charges. He was deported to the Treblinka extermination camp with his charges in August 1942. The whole transport was murdered by the Nazis shortly after its arrival in the camp.

9 Numerus clausus in Poland

After World War I nationalist groupings in Poland lobbied for the introduction of the numerus clausus (Lat. closed number – a limit on the number of people admitted to the practice of a given profession or to an institution – a school, a university, government office or association) in relation to Jews and other ethnic minorities. The most radical groupings demanded the introduction of the numerus nullus principle, i.e. a total ban on admittance to universities and certain professions. The numerus nullus principle was violated by the Polish constitution. The battle for its introduction continued throughout the interwar period. In practice the numerus clausus was applied informally. It depended on decision of deans or University’s presidents. In 1938 it was indirectly introduced at the Bar.

10 Hospital in Czyste

A Jewish hospital in Warsaw. The initiative to build it came in the 1880’s from the doctors of the Orthodox Hospital (established at the turn of the 19th century). In 1893 the construction of the hospital buildings began on the western outskirts of Warsaw, in the borough of Czyste. Eight buildings were erected, with modern technological equipment. A synagogue was built next to the hospital. The hospital was opened in 1902 at what was then Dworska Street. In the 1920’s the Jewish hospital was transformed into a local hospital. Before 1939, around 1,200 beds were available, which made the hospital the  second largest in Warsaw. After 1939 it was turned over to the management of the Jewish authorities and became a hospital exclusively for Jews. After the creation of the Ghetto, it was moved to the Jewish district, that is, the staff of the hospital was confined to the Ghetto and employed in the Ghetto’s various medical establishments. Dworska was taken over by, among others, a German military hospital. In the Ghetto, when typhus broke out, a Jewish Contagious Hospital was opened at Stawki Street. Apart from treating patients, the hospital also conducted research (Prof. Hirszfeld) and held classes for nurses. The Bersohn and Bauman Children’s Hospital moved into the Stawki hospital building. In time, the Stawki hospital became the only hospital in the Ghetto. After the war, Warsaw’s oldest hospital, Sw. Ducha Hospital [Holy Ghost Hospital], was moved to Czyste, into the buildings at Dworska Street. These buildings are currently occupied by the Wolski Hospital at Kasprzaka Street.

11 Anschluss

The annexation of Austria to Germany. The 1919 peace treaty of St. Germain prohibited the Anschluss, to prevent a resurgence of a strong Germany. On 12th March 1938 Hitler occupied Austria, and, to popular approval, annexed it as the province of Ostmark. In April 1945 Austria regained independence legalizing it with the Austrian State Treaty in 1955.

12 Umiastowski Order

Col. Roman Umiastowski was head of propaganda in the Corps of the Supreme Commander of the Polish Republic. Following the German aggression on Poland, and faced with the siege of Warsaw, on 6th September 1939 he appealed to all men able to wield a weapon to leave the capital and head east.

13 The fall of Warsaw

on 28th September 1939, after a three-week siege by the German forces, the deputy commander of the defense General Tadeusz Kutrzeba (authorized by the commander, General Walerian Czuma) signed an unconditional surrender agreement. It required the Polish soldiers to ground arms (many disobeyed, hiding the weapons; some of them were later used during the 1944 Warsaw Uprising) and march out of the city. The civilian authorities were to put down the barricades, extinguish the fires, disarm the civilians, restore the administration and re-open commercial establishments, introduce a ban on political parties and organizations, and provide 12 hostages. The German authorities obliged to serve 160,000 rations of soup a day to the civilians and to help with restoring the public utilities. The German army entered the city on 1st October 1939; the resulting German occupation of Warsaw lasted until 17th January 1945.

17 The Berling Army

in May 1943 the Tadeusz Kosciuszko 1st Infantry Division began to be formed in Sielce near Ryazan. It was a Polish unit in the USSR, completely dependant on the Red Army. It was commanded by Colonel Zygmunt Berling. By July 1943 16,000 Poles had enlisted to the 1st Division, most of them deportees expelled from eastern Poland in 1940. Lacking qualified Polish officers, most of whom had left USSR with the Anders’ Army, the commanding positions were often given to Soviet officers. In the fall of 1943 the 1st Division was sent to the front and fought in the battle of Lenino. In September 1943 the 1st Corps of Polish Armed Forces in the USSR was formed, consisting of 3 divisions. Zygmunt Berling commanded the Corps. In March 1944 the 1st Corps was transformed into the 1st Polish Army. It numbered 78,000 soldiers. The Army fought in Ukraine and took part in liberating the Polish territory from the German occupation. On 21st July 1944 in Lublin the 1st Army was combined with the Communist conspirational People’s Army to form the Polish People’s Army.

18 Molotov, V

P. (1890-1986): Statesman and member of the Communist Party leadership. From 1939, Minister of Foreign Affairs. On 22nd June 1941 he announced the German attack on the USSR on the radio. He and Eden also worked out the percentages agreement after the war, about Soviet and western spheres of influence in the new Europe.

19 Deportations of Poles from the Eastern Territories during WWII

from the beginning of Soviet occupation of eastern Poland on 17th September 1939, until the Soviet – German war which broke out on 21st June 1941, the Soviet authorities were deporting people associated with the former Polish authorities, culture, church and army. Around 400 000 people were exiled from the Lwow, Tarnopol and Stanislawow districts, mostly to northern Russia, Siberia and Kazakhstan. Between 12th and 15th of April as many as 25 000 were deported from Lwow only.

20 Anders’ Army

The Polish Armed Forces in the USSR, subsequently the Polish Army in the East, known as Anders’ Army: an operations unit of the Polish Armed Forces formed pursuant to the Polish-Soviet Pact of 30th July 1941 and the military agreement of 14th July 1941. It comprised Polish citizens who had been deported into the heart of the USSR: soldiers imprisoned in 1939-41 and civilians amnestied in 1941 (some 1.25-1.6m people, including a recruitment base of 100,000-150,000). The commander-in-chief of the Polish Armed Forces in the USSR was General Wladyslaw Anders. The army never reached its full quota (in February 1942 it numbered 48,000, and in March 1942 around 66,000). In terms of operations it was answerable to the Supreme Command of the Red Army, and in terms of organization and personnel to the Supreme Commander, General Wladyslaw Sikorski and the Polish government in exile. In March-April 1942 part of the Army (with Stalin’s consent) was sent to Iran (33,000 soldiers and approx. 10,000 civilians). The final evacuation took place in August-September 1942 pursuant to Soviet-British agreements concluded in July 1942 (it was the aim of General Anders and the British powers to withdraw Polish forces from the USSR); some 114,000 people, including 25,000 civilians (over 13,000 children) left the Soviet Union. The units that had been evacuated were merged with the Polish Army in the Middle East to form the Polish Army in the East, commanded by Anders.

21 Sobibor

a Nazi death camp located in the Lublin district of the General Government. It operated since May 1942. Jews from the Lublin region and eastern Galicia were transported here, as well as from Lithuania, Belorussia, Czechoslovakia, and Western Europe. The victims were killed in gas chambers with carbon monoxide from exhaust fumes and later buried in mass graves; at the end of 1942 the bodies were exhumed and incinerated. The commandant of the camp was Franz Stangl. The permanent crew consisted of 30 SS-men and 120 guards, members of the German and Ukrainian auxilliary forces. Approximately 1,000 Jewish inmates were kept for maintenance works in the camp: operating the gas chambers and crematoria, sorting the property of the victims. An estimated 250,000 Jews have been murdered in Sobibor. In the summer of 1943 an underground organization was founded among the functional inmates, led by Leon Feldhandler and Aleksander Peczerski. They organized a rebellion which broke out on 14th October 1943. Killing a number of guards enabled 300 (out of the total 600) prisoners to escape. About 50 of them survived the war. Soon after the rebellion the Germans liquidated the camp.

23 Jews in the British army

the Palestinian Jews began to volunteer to the British army in 1939. The British accepted 85,000 men and 54,000 women into military service. Chaim Weizman, chairman of the World Zionist Organization, lobbied for the formation of an entirely Jewish brigade within the British army since the outbreak of the war. The Jewish Brigade, with its own uniforms and standard, wasn’t created before September 1944. It was commanded by Ernest Benjamin. In February 1945 the Brigade was sent to Europe, to the Italian front on the river Senio. It was incorporated into the 8th British Army. After the end of the war the Jewish Brigade was sent to service on the Italian-Austrian-Yugoslavian border. It played an important part in smuggling the Jewish Holocaust survivors to Palestine. The Brigade was disbanded in February 1946.

23 Majdanek concentration camp

situated five kilometers from the city center of Lublin, Poland, originally established as a labor camp in October 1941. It was officially called Prisoner of War Camp of the Waffen-SS Lublin until 16th February 1943, when the name was changed to Concentration Camp of the Waffen-SS Lublin. Unlike most other Nazi death camps, Majdanek, located in a completely open field, was not hidden from view. About 130,000 Jews were deported there during 1942-43 as part of the ‘Final Solution’. Initially there were two gas chambers housed in a wooden building, which were later replaced by gas chambers in a brick building. The estimated number of deaths is 360,000, including Jews, Soviets POWs and Poles. The camp was liquidated in July 1944, but by the time the Red Army arrived the camp was only partially destroyed. Although approximately 1,000 inmates were executed on a death march, the Red Army found thousand of prisoners still in the camp, an evidence of the mass murder that had occurred in Majdanek.

24 Repatriations

post-war repatriations from the USSR included displaced persons deported to the Soviet Union during the war, but also native inhabitants of what had been eastern Poland before the war and what was annexed to the Soviet Union in 1945. In the years 1945-1950 266 000 people were repatriated, among them around 150 000 Jews. The name ‘repatriation’ is commonly used, despite the fact that those were often not voluntary.

25 Kielce Pogrom

On 4th July 1946 the alleged kidnapping of a Polish boy led to a pogrom in which 42 people were killed and over 40 wounded. The pogrom also prompted other anti-Jewish incidents in Kielce region. These events caused mass emigrations of Jews to Israel and other countries.

26 Polish United Workers’ Party (PZPR)

communist party formed in Poland in December 1948 by the fusion of the PPR (Polish Workers’ Party) and the PPS (Polish Socialist Party). Until 1989 it was the only party in the country; it held power, but was subordinate to the Soviet Union. After losing the elections in June 1989 it lost its monopoly. On 29th January 1990 the party was dissolved.

27 Martial law in Poland in 1981

extraordinary legal measures introduced by a State Council decree on 13th December 1981 in an attempt to defend the communist system and destroy the democratic opposition. The martial law decree suspended the activity of associations and trades unions, including Solidarity, introduced a curfew, imposed travel restrictions, gave the authorities the right to arrest opposition activists, search private premises, and conduct body searches, banned public gatherings. A special, non-constitutional state authority body was established, the Military Board of National Salvation (WRON), which oversaw the implementation of the martial law regulations, headed by General Wojciech Jaruzelski, the armed forces supreme commander. Over 5,900 persons were arrested during the martial law, chiefly Solidarity activists. Local Solidarity branches organized protest strikes. The Wujek coal mine, occupied by striking miners, was stormed by police assault squads, leading to the death of nine miners. The martial law regulations were gradually being eased, by December 1982, for instance, all interned opposition activists were released. On 31st December 1982, the martial law was suspended, and on 21st July 1983, it was revoked.

28 Twentieth Party Congress

At the Twentieth Congress of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union in 1956 Khrushchev publicly debunked the cult of Stalin and lifted the veil of secrecy from what had happened in the USSR during Stalin’s leadership.

29 Anti-Zionist campaign in Poland

From 1962-1967 a campaign got underway to sack Jews employed in the Ministry of Internal Affairs, the army and the central administration. The background to this anti-Semitic campaign was the involvement of the Socialist Bloc countries on the Arab side in the Middle East conflict, in connection with which Moscow ordered purges in state institutions. On 19th June 1967 at a trade union congress the then First Secretary of the Polish United Workers’ Party [PZPR], Wladyslaw Gomulka, accused the Jews of a lack of loyalty to the state and of publicly demonstrating their enthusiasm for Israel’s victory in the Six-Day-War. This address marked the start of purges among journalists and creative professions. Poland also severed diplomatic relations with Israel. On 8th March 1968 there was a protest at Warsaw University. The Ministry of Internal Affairs responded by launching a press campaign and organizing mass demonstrations in factories and workplaces during which ‘Zionists’ and ‘trouble-makers’ were indicted and anti-Semitic and anti-intelligentsia slogans shouted. After the events of March purges were also staged in all state institutions, from factories to universities, on criteria of nationality and race. ‘Family liability’ was also introduced (e.g. with respect to people whose spouses were Jewish). Jews were forced to emigrate. From 1968-1971 15,000-30,000 people left Poland. They were stripped of their citizenship and right of return.

30 Solidarity (NSZZ Solidarnosc)

a social and political movement in Poland that opposed the authority of the PZPR. In its institutional form – the Independent Self-Governing Trade Union Solidarity (NSZZ Solidarnosc) – it emerged in August and September 1980 as a product of the turbulent national strikes. In that period trade union organization were being formed in all national enterprises and institutions; in all some 9–10 million people joined NSZZ Solidarnosc. Solidarity formulated a program of introducing fundamental changes to the system in Poland, and sought the fulfillment of its postulates by exerting various forms of pressure on the authorities: pickets in industrial enterprises and public buildings, street demonstrations, negotiations and propaganda. It was outlawed in 1982 following the introduction of Martial Law (on 13th December 1981), and until 1989 remained an underground organization, adopting the strategy of gradually building an alternative society and over time creating social institutions that would be independent of the PZPR (the long march). Solidarity was the most important opposition group that influenced the changes in the Polish political system in 1989.

31 TSKZ (Social and Cultural Society of Polish Jews)

founded in 1950 when the Central Committee of Polish Jews merged with the Jewish Society of Culture. From 1950-1991 it was the sole body representing Jews in Poland. Its statutory aim was to develop, preserve and propagate Jewish culture. During the socialist period this aim was subordinated to communist ideology. Post-1989 most young activists gravitated towards other Jewish organizations. However, the SCSPJ continues to organize a range of cultural events and has its own magazine, The Jewish Word. However, it is primarily an organization of older people, who have been involved with it for years.

Jelisaveta Bubic

Jelisaveta Bubic
Belgrade
Serbia
2001

I am Jelisaveta Bubic [nee Betty Lackenbacher] and was born in Cakovec [Croatia] in 1913. My father Ignac was born in Cakovec in 1885, and my mother Cornelia [nee Brau] in 1889 in Nagykanizsa [Hungary].

We lived in grandfather Sigmunt’s house in Cakovec. My grandfather had a café in the same house which he ran himself and a shop which my father took care of. The living space was spacious and nice. We had a housekeeper and a cleaning lady. My childhood was very happy and cheerful. In 1915 my sister Ruzica, with whom  I liked to play, was born. In our house we celebrated all the holidays, we lit candles on Friday night, my mother prayed in front of them and regularly went to synagogue.

Grandfather Sigmunt, was born in 1831. He was very religious. He prayed every day with tzizit, that is phylacteries, that were wrapped around the arm and a prayer shawl. By profession he was a merchant, and he proved his ability in his successful handling of his café business.

My mother’s mother, my grandmother Rozalia [Lackenbacher], I cannot remember her maiden name, was born in 1839. She only finished elementary school and was a housewife. Like grandfather Sigmunt, she was very religious. At home they celebrated all the holidays, the kitchen was kosher and they regularly went to synagogue. In addition to my father, Ignac, they had another four sons and a daughter. Their sons Joska and Vili lived in Nagykanizsa, Joska was a merchant and Vili was a railway worker. Their son Alexander magyarized his last name to Laszlo, at one time he lived in Hungary, and then he moved to Belgrade where he worked as the head of the Ministry for Transportation until the war broke out. Under persuasion from friends, he moved with his family to Slavonski Brod to escape calamity and spent the whole war hidden in a vineyard. Hermann lived in Bjelovar and was a carpenter by profession. Their daughter Sida Rosenfeld [nee Lackenbacher] married a merchant in Varazdin and had three sons. She, her husband and two of their sons were killed during the war. Only their son Stevan, who was sent from Cakovac to forced labor in Hungary at the outbreak of war, survived. After liberation Stevan finished a two-year textile college in Brno. In 1948 he went to Israel, married and had two children. He still lives in Israel. Grandmother Rozalija died in 1915 in Cakovac from a vein inflammation.

I finished a non-Jewish elementary school. In 1925 I enrolled in a one-year school in Varazdin and I lived there as a tenant in an apartment. . My mother Cornelia, a teacher by profession, was bored with village life and at the moment when I had to enroll in the gymnasium, my grandfather sold all his property and moved with us to Bjelovar in 1926.  In gymnasium we learned French, and I took private German lessons. The gymnasium was not Jewish, but I had religion classes. The cantor of our synagogue taught these classes.

My parents started to do new work. They bought a three-room apartment with space for selling poultry and eggs. My father bought a big truck and wagon and rented it out to the people who supplied us with poultry and eggs from neighboring villages. Quickly he opened a slaughterhouse with a freezer and a hen-house for holding the poultry. My mother used her perfect knowledge of German and Hungarian to make contacts abroad. We started with export of slaughtered and live poultry and eggs. We worked with the British, with Germans and Italians. The capacity was not so big but the business functioned quite well. Turkeys were exported to England, geese to Germany and small poultry to Italy. My sister Ruzica and I had to spend our free time helping in my parents’ business. In addition, our mother insisted that we learn to cook which we learned from our Hungarian cook.

Mother Cornelia ran all the sales and father Ignac took care of purchases, food for the poultry and work in the slaughterhouse. They had a business manager and one helper. The work advanced well, and my parents bought a big house which had two separate residential units, each measuring 60 square meters and they bought a hairdresser shop.

After finishing the gymnasium in 1929, I enrolled in a two-year college for export in Grac. A year later, my sister Ruzica also came to Grac to improve her German. Upon our return, we both joined in the family business. I corresponded with foreign buyers in German, my mother gradually brought me into the business. She transformed herself from an ordinary teacher into a real businesswoman.

Very early on, my mother was left without parents and she took responsibility for her two brothers, Bandi and Jeno Braun. As  a teacher she did not work in a state school, rather she gave private lessons to a count’s children. The children did not go to a regular school, instead they just passed the exams at the end of the year. While she worked her younger brothers were with their aunt Betti Krausz, their mother’s mother’s sister. My mother regularly sent the majority of her salary for their upkeep. Aunt Betti had six of her own children, three sons and three daughters, but regardless of the large number of children she devotedly took care of my uncles. She managed to educate all the children and to give them a secondary school education: Bandi became a merchant and at one time he lived in Nagykanizsa. When my mother married, he moved in with us and worked in our firm. My other uncle, Jeno, was the director of a winery in Nagykanizsa. Returning from the fields, he got caught in bad weather and got soaked. He had already been sickly and now he took ill with galloping consumption and died quickly.

My father was a merchant by profession, he finished Commercial Academy, and excellently managed the new family business. He was very hardworking and industrious. His workdays began  at four in the morning. His father Sigmunt died in 1930 at the age of 99. Since our company was advancing my father, together with his brother Alexander Laszlo, bought a house in Belgrade in 1939. Life in Bjelovar was very busy, we had very little free time and the only time for rest was on Saturdays. We all went to synagogue and my sister Ruzica and I sang in the synagogue choir [it was a Neolog synagogue].

Among the Jewish families in Bjelovar there was never competition, in fact everyone tried to help one another. The wealthy families and the Jewish community helped those that were less well off materially. They took special care of the Jewish children that came to Bjelovar for schooling from the surrounding villages. Every family that was able, took it upon itself to feed at least one child. I remember that one boy came to our house every day for lunch and we helped him pay his rent.

I had a lot of friends among the Jewish youth. We went for walks and we got along well. By chance, I met Milivoj Bubic, a law student and we fell in love. My parents did not approve of our relationship because he was not a Jew, something which they paid a lot of attention to at the time. However, our love was deep and we dated for five years. We married in l938 and I changed my name from Betty Lackenbacher to Jelisaveta Bubic.  My husband did not finish his studies, instead he began to work in my father’s firm as a clerk. We rented an apartment in a beautiful villa in Bjelovar. In 1939 we had a daughter Tatjana.

We had a peaceful and secure life until 1941 when the war started. In one of the rooms in our apartment the owners put up a German officer. In the meantime, I became pregnant for the second time and when the time came for me to give birth my husband and I worried that there would be complications like after the first birth. The German who slept in the room right next to ours, heard commotion and he knocked on the door. He asked if there was something he could do to help and my husband explained that we needed to go to the hospital and that it was forbidden for Jews and Serbs to go out after 8PM. He said that he would accompany us. So, I was taken to the hospital by a fully armed German officer. We had a son Stevan in 1941. Eight days later I left the hospital, and my husband, who as a Serb had to wear a red armband, waited for me. We needed to immediately get a similar armband for the child’s carriage.

In Bjelovar, in 1941 a collection center was erected for Serbs from Bjelovar and the surrounding areas. A month and a half after leaving the hospital, two armed soldiers came for us. They said that we could bring two suitcases. We already had the suitcases ready, because we knew that people were being taken to camps. They had already taken my mother-in-law to the collection center in Bjelovar, my father-in-law was not taken only because he was sick and in the hospital in Zagreb at the time. After being released from the hospital he moved in with us because his house had been confiscated, and his wife taken to the collection center in Bjelovar. That night when they came for my husband, children and I they also took my father-in-law. He was reunited with his wife in the camp. When we arrived in the collection center in Bjelovar they searched us to the bone. They even stripped my baby. They expected to find gold. Luckily the 10 gold coins that I received as a wedding present, I covered with fabric and sewed onto a dress as buttons. They did not find them.

The camp was three-stories high. We slept on boards with straw. The food was very poor in the camp. My mother Cornelia managed from time to time to secretly pass us some food by bribing the guards. We were in the camp five months when my mother finally managed to get in to see me so we could talk. To get permission for this 10 minute conversation she had to give a large amount of slaughtered poultry. During her visit she told me that she and my father had obtained visas for Switzerland, but that they would not go because they did not know what would happen to me and my children, and they did not have any news about my sister Ruzica. I begged her to go home immediately, collect the necessary things and go with my father to Switzerland while it was still possible, because they were certainly preparing even worse things for the Jews than for the Serbs. My mother did not listen to me and after just two days they took her and my father away. My father was killed in the Jasenovac death camp in 1942 and my mother was taken to the women’s camp in Lobor Grad near Krapina, where she contracted typhus fever and died in 1942.

My sister Ruzica, who was a year and a half younger than me, married Vladimir Kohn in 1936 in Podravska Slatina. Vladimir had a construction material shop. They quickly had a daughter Mirjam. They had a very nice apartment, and a maid, and were well-off. But when the war broke out they had to flee. With the Jews from the surrounding area, they made their way to Crkvenica, which was under Italian control. They did not stay there long because the Italians warned them that the Germans were coming and that it was better for them to go to the island Rab [Croatia]. They did this. Not long after, they had to move to the island Pag. Then they heard that the liberation forces where arriving on the island Vis and that it was safest to move there. From there, my sister Ruzica, her husband and daughter, managed to reach Bari.

The night when they transported the Jews from Bjelovar to the camps, they transported us to Serbia. The first station was Zemun and then we continued to Velika Plana. They took us off and wanted us to divide up among different village houses. My husband asked them to let us continue on to Belgrade, because his father had bought a house there before the war. His two sisters lived in the house. We continued on to Belgrade, where my husband’s sisters, Nada and Mira, took us in. We moved into a small room with Mira, and my husband’s parents in an apartment with their other daughter. My husband was unable to find work, and I, as a Jew, was not permitted to go out a lot, so we had a very difficult life.

A great misfortune befell me in 1943 when my husband was captured by the Germans in the middle of the street. They took him to forced labor in the Kalemegdan Fortress in Belgrade, where there was a German munitions warehouse. My husband worked in the munitions warehouse with another five young people. In July 1943, one of the people that worked with my husband came to tell me that there had been an explosion in the warehouse, that my husband was badly wounded and had been taken to the hospital and that I should go and visit him. I found him all burned and red. He opened his eyes and told me: „Damned Germans, damned fascists. You go home and take care of the children.” He closed his eyes and breathed his last breath. I barely made it home. It was very difficult for me to inform his mother, who lost her husband to gangrene the same winter we arrived in Belgrade. I loved my husband’s parents very much, because they were always very good to me and they loved me, something I, unfortunately,  cannot say about his sisters. They were very selfish and rude to me. When I was alone, with two small children, without anywhere to go, without anyone to turn to, in the middle of the craziness of war, they did not even ask me how I was going to manage alone.

At one time I supported myself by selling the coins which I had managed to hide on the dress. Across the street from our house lived the three Tasic brothers who sold mixed goods. Some things they sold legally and others on the black market. Once one of the brothers asked me if I would sell some things for them. We all benefited from this relationship.  I accepted it because I did not have any other source of income. I remembered that at the market near our house there were women who came to sell cheese, eggs, bacon and I tried to trade with them. I knew that in the villages where they came from there was no fabric, no socks, no kerchiefs, and that these items would certainly be of interest to them. I wrote a lot of small notes with my address and handed them out. This is how I began selling to them. In this manner, I got by and survived the war with my two small children.

Liberation came. Soon after I received news from my sister. Her family had expanded by one, i.e. she had a son, Boris, in Bari. After two months my sister, Ruzica, and her family arrived in Belgrade. We lived together. Soon after my brother-in-law found work and was transferred to Novi Sad. In the meantime, I became employed first in the Diplomatic warehouse and then in a meat processing plant called „10th of October” from Velika Plana, i.e. in their Belgrade branch office. In 1948, my brother-in-law Vladimir and my sister Ruzica decided to go to Israel with their two children. They went to Naharia.  After their departure, I no longer had any connection to Belgrade and then my mother-in-law died so that I no longer had anyone in Belgrade, and I also decided to go to Israel. The president of the Jewish community, Bencion Levi, told me that he did not believe that the Interior Ministry would allow me to go because I had been married to a Serb and I had two children with him. Unfortunately he was right. The Ministry told me that according to Yugoslav law my children are Serbs and I do not have the right to take them to Israel. That meant that I could go but my children could not. I had to stay in Belgrade. In 1957, I was invited by Mr. Zarko Zanger, a business partner of the firm where I was employed, to work in his firm, the „Yugoslav Agricultural Products”, in  Hanover for a year (with my firm’s agreement). Zanger invited me to take care of goings, comings and payment of goods for a year. He had followed my work in Belgrade and had full trust in me. He was a Jew, originally from Novi Sad, who before the war had an open company in Vienna, but he managed to move to Hanover illegally and there he succeeded to continue his business. I brought my children with me. My daughter enrolled in the first grade of the Academy of Music in Hanover and my son went to gymnasium. At the end of the year I returned to Belgrade with the children. Even though I was a single mother I succeeded in educating my children. My daughter graduated from the Faculty of Philology and my son from a two-year college for foreign trade. Until I retired in 1968, I worked in „10th of  October”, where I was especially valued as a good worker.

Earlier, I used to go to the women’s section meetings at the Belgrade Jewish community. Now I am old, 88, I survived three heart attacks and am no longer able to actively participate in the life of our community, which makes me very sad, but that is life, life must go on, regardless of all the burdens and difficulties which follow us. 

Noemi Korsan-Ekert

Noemi Korsan-Ekert
Warsaw
Poland
Interviewer: Zuzanna Solakiewicz
Date of interview: October 2004 – May 2005

Noemi Korsan-Ekert is a retired actress and theater director. She was raised in Boryslaw, the heart of the Galician oil-mining region, in a Zionist family. After the war she moved from city to city to finally settle with her family in Warsaw. Since her husband’s death, six years ago, she has lived alone. Mrs. Ekert is an affable woman, with cheerful eyes and a head of silver curls. We met in her apartment. She served strong tea and delicious cottage-cheese cookies or chocolate-glazed plums. When she spoke her hands followed her thoughts as if she was waving to someone from afar. None of her family photographs survived the war. If not for a cousin in America, she would have no pre-war photographs of her relatives.

My grandfather on my mother’s side, Aaron Gelb, was a rabbinical scholar. He was highly esteemed in his town of Kolbuszowa [South-East Poland]. His name was well-known and he was known as a wise man, an erudite.

I was around five when my mother first took me to visit our family in Kolbuszowa. It was 1926. What I saw was a whole new world to me. My parents were the first lay generation in the family. I was sent to my grandfather to learn about the tradition, to experience religious holidays. We arrived on a Thursday. It had to be Thursday, because my mother had to leave on her trip back before Friday, not to offend grandfather’s religious feelings.

On our way to Kolbuszowa, we stopped in Rzeszow, at my mother’s older sister, Chana’s place. Then we got on a train, arrived at a tiny train station and took a carriage to my grandfather’s house. My mother left the next morning. Pesach was coming up and my visit was to last through the holidays. All that I saw was extraordinary.

The town itself, Kolbuszowa, I remember only vaguely. There were flower gardens and blooming trees – it must have been April. I remember the town square. My grandfather’s house wasn’t tall but spread wide. There were three rooms and a very large kitchen. To the left of the kitchen there was the room I never entered where lessons were held – those Talmudic disputes – as my grandfather had pupils, a dozen or so. And there were two rooms to the right. One was the ceremonial room where the holiday meals were celebrated; otherwise meals were taken in the kitchen.

There were books everywhere. Even in the kitchen there was a small shelf for small books. In the ceremonial room a whole wall was packed with books, big and small, thick and thin. Those were the holy books with biblical commentary, Talmudic. Sometimes Grandfather would take one of those to his students. He spent every free moment bent over a book. Next to the bookshelves there was a small table with curved legs and a wide top over which an oil lamp hung low. That was where my grandfather read. That table belonged only to him.

My grandfather’s students were teenage boys. I don’t know whether they were all from Kolbuszowa or rented a room somewhere. I didn’t have the wits to find out. They studied every day and ate at my grandfather’s during the holidays. For example, during Pesach, they would stay for meals throughout the eight days.

My grandfather was widowed at an early age; I was around two when my grandmother died, some time at the beginning of the 1920s. After her death the youngest daughter took over household duties. Her name was Gienia; Goldzia in Yiddish. My grandfather had seven children: Simcha, Mosze, Chana, Ida, Estera, my mother Salomea Sara, and Goldzia. He took care to give education to all of his children, not only the boys, but also the girls. All of his daughters attended schools.

My grandfather had great hopes for Simcha, his eldest, born in 1888 or 1887. He sent Simcha to Vienna to become a rabbi. Simcha studied Judaism at the Philosophy Department of Vienna University. He was hungry for knowledge, fascinated by German literature, particularly poetry. As a third-year student Simcha came across the Zionist movement and became an active participant. He became an editor for the Neue Freie Presse [an influential Viennese liberal daily newspaper]. My grandfather was greatly disappointed that his talented and smart son, an object of his great expectations, who was to become a scholar and a rabbi, ended up as an entirely lay man.

When he graduated from university, Simcha went on to establish Tarbut schools 1 in East Galicia. As far as I remember, Uncle Simcha emigrated to America in 1926. He had a PhD and was invited by the University of Minnesota as a visiting scholar. Then he got tenure. He went alone at first, but then he brought his family, too: his wife, Sulamit, and his three sons, Saadia, Amiel and Hagaj. Their daughter was born already in the States. They named her Awiwa. I remember Aunt Sulamit; she had such gentle features. She must have been very happy when Awiwa was born for she always dreamed about a daughter.

When it comes to Uncle Mosze, my grandfather’s second son, I only remember that he stayed in Kolbuszowa and got married very late. I mean late for the existing standards; he was around 40 then: 38 or maybe 37 years old.

Three of my grandfather’s five daughters also remained in Kolbuszowa. Those were my aunts Ida, Estera and Goldzia. Aunt Chana settled with her family in Rzeszow. They all lived according to the tradition. The oldest of the sisters, Ida, wore a wig. She had her hair underneath cut short. I only discovered this custom of wearing short hair under the wig years later, somewhere else. When I was small, I wasn’t interested in such things. But my mother told me that Aunt Ida had a wig. It seems Aunt Estera didn’t.

Ida’s, Estera’s and Chana’s husbands were also attached to the tradition, but they were not zealously religious. For example, they wore beards, but those were trimmed, modeled beards, while very religious men’s beards were never trimmed. But still, they wore beards and they wore hats. On Friday evenings and other holidays when they went to the temple, they wore shiny frock-coats. Frock coats were long jackets. The richer one was, the more beautiful were the fabric-covered buttons, the more elegantly cut and the more exquisite the frock-coat.

The children in those families received Jewish upbringing: a Saturday was a Saturday, the temple was the temple, everything was done according to the rules. Everything was kosher. Those were bilingual households: Yiddish and Polish was spoken.

My mother, Salomea Sara, was born in 1900, in Kolbuszowa. She was very gifted. She had very close relations with her siblings, she cared about them and loved them, but she was closest to Simcha, her eldest brother whom she held in great esteem. She loved him very much. It was Simcha that inspired her with a passion for German literature and who brought home German books from Vienna.

My mother went to the local public school in Kolbuszowa. That was still under the partitions 2, but Polish was the language of instruction. Then she decided to go to Cracow, against her parents’ will. She was 13. She wanted to attend secondary school there. I can’t remember exactly what kind of school that was, most likely private, definitely for women only, with classes taught in Polish.

My mother had a cousin in Cracow, with whom she was good friends. He helped her arrange things. His father, my mother’s uncle, had a soda water stand in Cracow. He agreed to support my mother and pay for her school in exchange for help – my mother worked for him serving soda water to the clients. I can’t remember either the name of the cousin, or the uncle, I only remember their last name was Gewirc and the name of the cousin’s son, born many years later, was Zruba’el.

After my mother went to Cracow, my grandfather cut her off completely and their relations were rather chilly until years later, when my mother sent me to him for the holidays. That was a very smart move on her part, for Grandfather warmed up to her then and later even paid us a visit.

In the Cracow school my mother found out about the Polish patriotic movement, Polish culture and socialism and became quite committed to the latter. She passed her matriculation exam majoring in the Classics. She knew Greek and Latin and loved Polish literature. She would frequently recite poetry – ‘Beniowski,’ or ‘Pan Tadeusz’ – she knew those long poems by heart and gave beautiful renderings of them. [Editor’s note: works by famous Polish Romantic poets: ‘Beniowski’ was written by Juliusz Slowacki (1809-1849) and ‘Pan Tadeusz’ by Adam Mickiewicz (1798-1855).]

After graduation my mother went to Lwow where Simcha lived at the time. It was under his influence that she became interested in Zionism. But there was still a lot of the socialist in her; for example, she was an ardent atheist. Oh, she always expressed radical views. Simcha was lay, practical, very educated, but my mother was much more expressive, more dynamic than he was.

As a Zionist, my mother started teaching in the Tarbut school which he ran in Lwow. Markus Presser – a Zionist with a passion for German literature and linguistics – also taught at the school. Soon they were married. That was in 1920. I was born on 31st December 1921. I had no siblings.

My father, Markus Presser, was born in the small town of Gwozdziec, near Kolomyja, in 1894. He was an orphan and a self-educated man. His mother died giving birth to him, his father died when he was about two or three. He was taken care of by his teenage sister, Chana, and his brother, Abraham. Chana died at twenty-something.

Dad was left with the older brother, who became a surrogate father to him. Abraham got married and had his own children. Apparently he was an excellent tailor, but he wasn’t well-off. He wanted to secure an education for my father but couldn’t systematically pay for school.

So Dad studied on his own and each year took official extramural exams in the public school in Stanislawow. In his childhood my father had three friends: one of them later became a doctor; his name was, if I remember correctly, Schwartz; one later owned a restaurant; the third was the father of Konstanty Puzyna [well-known theater critic (1929-1989)]. The latter had a wonderful library and my father borrowed lots of books from him.

In the part of Poland under Austrian partitions elementary public school went up to the 10th grade, but after the 4th grade, at ten, one could move to a secondary school. My father managed to get into a secondary school after passing his 5th grade extramural exams. That was in 1907.

After the exam, the head of the examination committee, Doctor Einer, offered to enroll my father in a secondary school in Stanislawow, where he was the principal. He also offered my father a place to stay: doctor Einer’s wife ran a lodging-house for students and my father was to get a room in exchange for tutoring her lodgers. There were three or four boys, not particularly bright, who needed help with their school-work. Of course my father agreed immediately. That was a private Austrian school, where the language of instruction was German.

My father’s passion was linguistics, his specialty comparative grammar. He knew Arabic. He learned the language all on his own, but I can’t remember where he got the textbooks and whether someone gave him that idea or it was all his own. Probably it was his own, because he tended to take charge of his own studies.

He found out about Zionism when he was in the army. After he did his service he started teaching at the Tarbut school in Lwow where, in addition to the general subjects, Jewish history and culture were taught. My father taught Hebrew. That was the school established by Simcha, my mother’s older brother. That’s where my parents met.

As I said before, I was a five-year-old girl when I came to my grandfather to spend Pesach at his house. A child from a progressive Zionist family at a religious Ashkenazi household… The first obstacle was the language: the entire household spoke Yiddish as their everyday language and I couldn’t understand a word! At home I always spoke Hebrew. Some of the members of the household I could communicate with in Polish.

They did try to speak Hebrew to me, but it didn’t help much. They used an Ashkenazi pronunciation, since they knew that language only as the language of prayer and the Holy Scriptures. I was taught modern Hebrew which relied on Sephardi pronunciation.

With time, when I got the hang of it, I could understand the general sense of what was said to me. Only my grandfather understood me perfectly and was proud I could speak the language of the Bible with such fluency.

Grandfather was very religious. He wore a beard and dressed in a long frock-coat. Each morning I watched him put on his tefillin and enjoyed that very much. He was very affectionate toward me. He talked to me about God. I knew very little and I was sorry about how little I knew. He told me the biblical stories. Once he told me the story of Moses and the stone tablets, then again about Abraham and the sacrifice he was supposed to make and how God stopped him. I can’t remember exactly what my grandfather’s interpretation was, but I think he wanted me to feel the dread of the sacrifice and the relief that it doesn’t have to be made, that God does not require it.

Pesach began with seder, a marvelous dinner. It would start when men came back from the nearby Temple. I never went to the Temple so I can’t exactly situate it. A girl who helped around the house would stay with me and my aunts’ daughters. Throughout my stay – not only on this special evening – I was always given lots of attention and surrounded with love and affection; I can still remember that.

One had to dress up for seder. I wore a dark blue dress with a navy collar trimmed with white ribbon. My dress was decorated with a black taffeta bow. The skirt was pleated. I wore good quality white stockings. One wore stockings then, there were no pantyhose yet. Elegant women wore thin gauzy stockings made of silk. Those were more expensive. Stockings of the best quality were called ‘kaisers’ [from Kaiser – Austro-Hungarian emperor]. I know, because one time, several years later, I bought ‘kaisers’ with my own money as a present for my mom.

As the men were back from the synagogue we sat down at a huge table in the ceremonial room. There was my family and my grandfather’s students. The table was covered with a beautiful damask table-cloth. The fabric was shiny and embroidered, the plates were those used for the special occasions.

The ceremony lasted very long. It started at seven and went on and on for many hours. My grandfather read the Haggadah in a melodic voice, beautifully describing the exodus from Egypt. I was the youngest at the table so I asked the four questions. I don’t know whether me being a girl didn’t matter or I was specially honored. I don’t know what the rules say. But I remember I was taught those questions before I left for my grandfather’s.

That night we only ate foods that were allowed. Allowed means they were prepared in a special way. For example, noodles were made from ground matzah, not from regular flour. The dishes symbolized various events which the holidays were commemorating. There were eggs in salty water and spiced parsley roots and horseradish. On the second day dinner was also celebrated but it didn’t last that long. Only that first evening was so solemn, and it lasted forever.

When the holidays were over I went back home. That was my only visit to my grandfather’s. Many years later – or maybe it wasn’t that many – he came to visit us. Special dishware was bought, because our house wasn’t kosher. One of his daughters came with him, the youngest one, Goldzia. She cooked for him while they were at our house. Grandfather had already turned gray and seemed very beautiful with his white beard. He was around 60 then. Soon after, he died; that was at the beginning of the 1930s. We were all very sorry that he passed away, but nobody said that he died too early. He simply lived his age.

After my grandfather’s death Aunt Goldzia came to stay with us in Boryslaw [south-west from Lwow, today in the Ukraine]. A romantic story happened then. Aunt Goldzia decided to make a summer dress for me. It was supposed to be a so-called peasant dress, with a short bodice, a richly-gathered skirt and an apron in a contrasting color. My aunt went to the mercer’s shop at the town square to get the fabric. And there she found love. She fell in love with the owner of that store and he fell in love with her.

She did get the fabric for my dress, by the way: a tiny flower pattern on a green background and a yellow apron. The owner of the store, Dawid, was soon her husband. They had two children, Alek and Fela. And then they were all killed of course.

We moved from Lwow to the Galician town of Boryslaw, with a newly opened Tarbut school, when I was around two. We lived at Panska Street. Boryslaw was situated in the midst of an oil-field region. It was a pioneer town. Poor housing was built without any architectural plan next to tycoon residences; mines were part of the landscape. Beyond the town there were mountains. A cobblestone street ran down the middle. Boryslaw stretched to no end on an area which was apparently comparable to that of Warsaw.

It was a very busy town. People came from everywhere looking for employment in the mines. The proletariat was really enormous. Boryslaw’s community was made up of Jews, Poles, and Ukrainians. Each of those groups constituted about a third of the population. The town grew together with the oil industry. Even water tasted of oil. Local mineral water was nicknamed oily. Apparently it had medicinal qualities, but I think it was foul.

The Tarbut school in Boryslaw, where my parents worked, had only six grades, when a full school should have eight. On graduating from the last grade one could continue education in other public schools. There were seven teachers on the staff. Since Saturdays were free, not only children of local Zionists, but also children from religious – though not zealously orthodox – families studied there. At the same time, the school drew children who may have been ostracized in Polish schools because of the political views of their parents, mostly those with communist leanings.

There were about 10-12 students in each grade. The school was co-educational. All students were Jewish. Many subjects were taught related to Jewish history and culture, where the language of instruction was Hebrew. History began with ancient Israel and was taught mostly based on the Torah. My mom taught grammar and contemporary Hebrew literature. My dad taught Hebrew. When my Uncle Simcha emigrated to the United States [in 1926], my father became the principal of the school.

My parents were the first decidedly non-religious generation in my family. My house was not kosher. We basically didn’t celebrate holidays. During the holidays my parents usually went to Lwow to visit their friends. I went with them once, but otherwise I stayed with Aunt Goldzia who married the mercer’s shop owner and lived in Boryslaw.

Holidays at my aunt’s were sort of religious, but I can’t remember that being a big deal. There was matzot for Pesach and a separate dish, but nothing very serious. I think Goldzia’s husband went to the synagogue on Saturdays and his store was definitely closed for the Sabbath.

Maybe my father was not a total atheist, but he certainly didn’t practice. I remember he went to the synagogue only during Yom Kippur. He said to me once when I was maybe 12, that God’s place is in one’s heart. Human beings don’t have the strength within them to act justly and need to have an image of someone who leads them.

My mom, on the other hand, was an atheist and the specifically lay atmosphere in our home was her doing. She also liked to provoke. Once for our holidays we went to Krynica [a health resort in South-East Poland]. We stayed at a small pension. During our meals we talked in Hebrew, so all the guests knew we were Jewish. For the afternoon snack my mother always gave me a ham sandwich and specifically told me to go outside or to the park. People would stop me surprised and ask me, ‘So you eat ham?’ Jews were usually very careful and made sure not to do things that could surprise or irritate the non-Jews. But my mother wasn’t like that, she liked to be contrary. She wanted to demonstrate her protest against orthodoxy.

Actually, neither of my parents spoke well of orthodox Jews whom they didn’t like and criticized for hypocrisy. They said orthodox Jews are inflexible and thus became intolerant themselves. Obviously at the time I thought my parents are always right and I shared their negative views of orthodoxy.

Even though my family was non-religious, I participated in Jewish religion classes. There were no people without faith then. Both in elementary school and later, religion classes were compulsory and organized by faith: Roman-Catholic, Greco-Catholic and Jewish.

I can’t remember the name of our teacher from elementary school; in secondary school we studied with Mr. Langerman. The teacher would come and tell us about the history of the Jews and about the events that we celebrate during holidays. The class started and ended with a prayer in Polish; in the school where my parents taught, the prayer was said in Hebrew. I found these classes incredibly boring. As soon as spring came I would cut school.

In my elementary school the day would start at 8am with a prayer. This was not a Jewish school, so a Catholic prayer was said, ‘Our Father.’ Jewish children would simply get up and not say anything. But they participated in that.

Once, already in secondary school, I went to a catholic religion class. The priest in my school was very fond of me – he’d always pinch my cheeks – and once he invited me to his classes. There were prayers in those classes and stories told about miracles. I remember that once they talked a lot about the Mother of God. I enjoyed that very much. I visited those classes two, three times. I never told my parents, because I felt that it was a faux pas of sorts, that I did something inappropriate.

I went to the Private Co-Educational Secondary School for the Humanities in Boryslaw. The school was located on Pod Lasem Street. I can’t remember its name, but next to the Tarbut school and commerce school it was the only such school in town. It was an extremely modern school. The language of instruction was Polish. The building was financed by the community. It had a huge garden where botany classes were held. We were taught to distinguish various types of plants.

At school there were several workshops: for physics, bookbinding, handicrafts. Really, for those times, that was a very well-equipped school; the staff was excellent, almost all teachers had PhDs. Among the students there were both Catholics and Jews. Tuition was very high – 50-60 zlotys – which amounted to one white-collar salary or two worker’s salaries. I got 50 percent discount because I was a teachers’ daughter.

I always had wonderful holidays. Since I was a small child I went hiking in the mountains with my father. Boryslaw is situated near the eastern Bieszczady Mountains. My father loved hiking. Also during the school year we would go up the mountains every Sunday. Those were great excursions! On our way down we would stop at the tents of the mountain men where we drank sour milk and ate heavy dark bread with sweet butter. Then we would go back home.

In the summer we also went to health resorts, such as Krynica or Iwonicz [50 km south-east of Rzeszow, Poland]. One summer we went to Truskawiec, a very well-known spa in the vicinity of Boryslaw. Visitors came to take advantage of the medicinal qualities of local waters, of which most famous was the above-mentioned ‘oily’ one, drank from special pots with long spouts. Healing baths were also popular. Attendants would prepare the baths in tin tubs.

We lived at a small pension. Every day we went to the park with an outdoor concert area. The park was extremely well-kept with its flower-beds, rose-bushes and trees. There were also tennis courts in Truskawiec and an Olympic-size swimming pool, but even there the water reeked with oil.

I spent some of my holidays with my cousin Ala [Malka in Yiddish], who was Aunt Chana’s daughter. We went to Skole [80 km south-west of Lwow], a small mountain town. I also spent a part of the summer at my Uncle Abraham’s house in Gwozdziec, near Kolomyja. As I said earlier, Uncle Abram was my father’s older brother, who raised my father after the death of their parents. I loved him and his family very much, they were really cool people, and Aunt Luba was so sweet.

They were traditional: milk separate from meat, definitely kosher, and my uncle went to the synagogue on Saturdays, but other than that they were quite liberal. Uncle loved my father unconditionally. He accepted everything my father did, never criticized him. Even after my father’s death I went there during holidays, until the war, I think. I couldn’t disappoint them by not coming.

When I was older I started going to summer camps. Most often I went to the nearby mountains [Bieszczady, Gorce, Czarnohora]. Those were private camps organized by the teachers. Children from all kinds of schools could go, but because the camps were quite expensive, not everyone could afford them. I can’t remember exactly how much they cost, but probably only children of well-to-do parents had a chance of going. Maybe there was some additional funding, I don’t know.

The camps were co-educational and we did everything together: ate, played, swam in the lake or the river, went hiking in the mountains, did sports and had lots of fun. I think such summer camps are very similar today. My favorite was a camp for university students I got into while still in secondary school thanks to a friend of my father’s. We went to the Tatra Mountains. It was a wonderful experience. Most importantly I got to know the Tatra. In four weeks I hiked all the trails. I even went to Orla Perc [one of the most difficult trails in Tatra Mountains]. I got to know the mountains very well and caught the hiking germ.

My parents programmatically spoke Hebrew. They both knew Yiddish from home and German from school. When they didn’t want me to understand what they were saying they communicated in German or Yiddish. My mother spoke and wrote excellent Polish. My father’s Polish was not as good as my mother’s because since the 6th grade he studied in a school where German was the language of instruction.

For my mom Hebrew was secondary in a sense. She used it for ideological reasons. It was Simcha, her older brother, who drew her to Zionism. She loved and respected him very much and possibly that’s why she became so immersed in it.

One way or another, I was programmatically taught Hebrew ever since a small child. My first words – mom, dad – were in Hebrew. I also remember that one of the first words that I learned was: or, which means light. I started speaking Polish only when I started to go out to play with my friends and in my Polish school. At home I would sometimes exchange a word in Polish with my mom, but with my dad I always spoke in Hebrew.

My household was very politicized. Father combined Zionism and socialism. Actually, he was a mixture of various views and, to top it off, he was also a believer of sorts. He was a heartfelt Zionist who dreamed about a Jewish country as a land of cultivated Hebrew and social justice. He was a member of Poalei Zion 3. Sometimes my father’s views would verge on communism, but at the same time, he hated the Soviet Union. And so did my mother. She was a dualist in thought.

At home there were endless debates. As a teenage girl I was annoyed by them; those discussions were very passionate and I was raised in their midst. I had my own growing-up problems and wanted to have a normal, quiet home. Instead my home was torn by continuous verbal battles. My parents felt intensely about current affairs. Together with their friends they discussed Zionism, the situation in Palestine and anti-Semitic incidents. They also talked about literature and cultural events.

Among my father’s friends the majority were leftist Zionists, but there were also people like Doctor Deutchmeister who was a member of the Bund 4. My father went to the May parades with him [Socialist and communist parades or demonstrations organized on Labor Day on 1st May]. They visited each other often to discuss Doctor Faustus, part two [Doctor Faustus, a play by J.W.Goethe (1724-1804)], and various dilemmas, such as Kant’s theories [Immanuel Kant (1724-1804), German philosopher] or something like that. The atmosphere of the small town of Boryslaw agreed with such home-spun philosophers.

This was the time of growing anti-Semitism, when difficulties at the universities began 5. Some people believed that they or their children should be able to live in a world where they would not be tormented any more, where they would be spared the suffering. The Zionist movement was developing, people started leaving for Palestine. They would pack up, get on a ship, overcome all sorts of obstacles and worked on establishing a Jewish state. Intelligentsia was farming the land, fertilizing, planting orange groves… All that was done for the future generations.

Had my father also thought about leaving for Palestine? I don’t know, I never had a serious conversation with him about that. What he told me sounded like a beautiful fairy-tale. He said Hebrew will once join the Jewish people of all nations. He said that in the future there will be no poverty, that the Jewish people will go to Palestine, that everybody will have work and access to education. But he never talked about the details of how that was to be achieved. There was a good deal of romanticism in my father’s beliefs. Or maybe there was realism?

I never thought of those as real plans that would concern us in the near future. I needed a few more years to be able to seriously talk to my father about all that. My mom also talked about Palestine, though after the death of my father less so. I think she assumed that wasn’t a deep conviction. Palestine was a type of an antidote for what was happening to the Jews in the Diaspora.

For me Palestine was one of the stories Father told, and he told me many. He presented the whole biblical mythology or faith as a flow of beautiful tales. He conveyed all of it to me in a delightful manner. I really remember the pang in my heart when Hagar was cast out to the desert by Sarah and Abraham… I was really angry at Abraham. But although I knew the story of Hagar and the story of forty years in the desert, I didn’t realize that Palestine is basically a desert land. Palestine was to become the land of plenty thanks to human effort. For me, the only homeland I knew was Poland: my house, my friends from the neighborhood, friends from school were what I could define as my own.

In childhood I was deeply immersed in everything Polish. At the same time I absorbed my parents’ social views, even if I didn’t belong to a Zionist youth organization. I believed in social justice, even if justice was something I conceived in very simple terms. I thought there should be no poverty and people should have work. There was a large proletariat in Boryslaw and that was the time when many people lost work; the problem of unemployment came up a lot in conversation and in the newspapers.

We read both Polish and Hebrew newspapers. At home there always was a copy of ‘Wiadomosci Literackie’ [a literary-cultural weekly published in 1924-1939 in Warsaw]. My mother read that paper, my father less so; at some stage I started reading it, too. We also got literary and philosophical monthlies in Hebrew, several titles, out of which I remember one: ‘Ofakim,’ a literary journal.

In the Hebrew newspapers I mostly read poems, not political news, which was too difficult for me. Sometimes I would get interested in an article and read it, but otherwise I mostly flipped through the rest of the paper except for the poetry section.

On the whole, I didn’t read in Hebrew much, but I read copiously in Polish, more than my age would indicate. I’m not even referring to the time when I was 15 or 16, but already at 12-13 I read things none of my peers read. That was something nurtured at home; I would never, ever be told, ‘No, you can’t read that.’

The library at our home was enormous for the times, with many books in German and Polish, mostly from the period of Romanticism. My parents did not limit themselves to Jewish culture. My father was an outstanding specialist in German literature and very knowledgeable about German art, while my mother was immersed in Polishness; passionate about Polish theater, she knew all Polish actors. Whenever she could, she went to theater performances in Lwow.

When I was eleven my mother took me to a performance with an actress who seemed extraordinarily beautiful to me. Now I know that was Modzelewska, but at the time I didn’t realize that, of course [Maria Modzelewska (1901-1997), a well-known Polish actress who performed mostly in Cracow and Warsaw].

There was a Jewish House in Boryslaw. I can’t remember what organization built it or even what its full name was. It housed many organizations of various political affiliations. For example, there were labor unions, leftist by definition, next to conservative organizations. There was an excellent library in the House, used by half of the town. One paid some small monthly fee. This library was really extremely popular and had all the most recent books. From time to time some writer would come to meet with readers. I once went to a meeting with Bruno Schultz 6.

In the building there were two rooms: one small and cozy, the other bigger where the meetings, readings and other cultural events were held. In the bigger room, which was on the first floor and had large arched windows, also prayers were held during holidays. I remember this only vaguely, but I think those prayers were held only during the most important holidays, such as Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. That’s where the less religious people went. A cantor was there. That I remember well, because I heard him. His singing was very moving, unlike any other singing.

In the Jewish House there was also a huge room in which dances were held during the Jewish carnival, Chanukkah and Purim. An orchestra played in a decorated hall. I remember Mom dancing in a beautiful dress embroidered all over with tiny beads on a green background. High heeled shoes, a scarf on her neck, hair up in a knot – she still wore her hair long –, she’d stand in front of the large mirror at home and my father, standing behind her, would tell her how beautiful she was.

There were also parties for children. I went at least twice. Children were dressed up as knights or biblical figures, for example Machabeus [Juda Machabeus was the leader of an uprising against Antiochus IV Epiphanes, the king of Syria, which broke out in 165 and lasted till 140 BC; his figure symbolized a hero fighting for the freedom of the Jews]. I also had a costume once, but I don’t know what it was supposed to signify: a red, shiny dress with something sewn on at the bottom. The second time I went I can’t remember if I had a costume or a party dress.

An orchestra played at kids’ parties as well; not a gramophone or something like that, but a real orchestra! We danced in a circle, or girl with boy or girl with girl or a few girls together. There was a dance leader who led the party. I think my mom always got into it too, because I remember her from those kids’ parties. They were attended mostly by the children of the intelligentsia and owners of the more elegant stores, such as fancy outfitters or exotic fruit stores. For example, the two daughters of Mr. Lindthard, a confectioner, came regularly.

Mr. Lindthard had a wonderful store and delicious sweets. I can’t remember the name of the street where the store was; a flight of steps led up to it. Already at the door you could smell the sweets which were displayed on the counter in colorful wrappers. There were chocolates, fudge, Polish and foreign boxes of chocolates – Swiss, Viennese – and various other treats. The waffles were layered with chocolate and topped with special chocolate peaks. Those in silver wrappers were the best. They really tasted incredible. Or maybe it’s just how I remember them. I always went there with Dad and also got some sweets from Mr. Lindthard as a present.

Jews, Poles, Ukrainians and Germans – of whom some lived in Boryslaw – rarely mixed. Those were relatively strong divisions, though class divisions were even stronger. The community was primarily divided into workers, tycoons and intelligentsia. Those groups varied as to the contacts between various religious denominations within them. I think that workers, for example, were better integrated than the intelligentsia. But then my mother did have friends who were non-Jewish.

Usually the children from the working-class families did not play with children of richer parents. I did, but you have to remember that I came from a family with a program [a progressive family which believed in social equality]. At our house – not every day, but on Saturdays or Sundays – our servant ate with us at the same table. Elsewhere that was unthinkable and had people seen us do that we would have been thought to be Bolsheviks 7.

We all went to the same elementary school, but there rarely was a working-class child in secondary school. Sometimes there was one, or two, for example children of the railway men who were the working-class aristocracy.

Anti-Semitism was somehow related to the Jewish enlightenment, to the fact that Jews emerged out of the isolated communities and started penetrating non-Jewish structures. They acquired education, stopped confining themselves to their own world. In the 19th century, Jews started perceiving themselves as part of the social fabric, as if they were no strangers to it. Paradoxically, it was when they started engaging themselves in the society at large, that the society recognized the Jewish presence in their midst, and saw it as alien and what’s alien provokes hostility. Jews incited hostility.

In my childhood I never came across anti-Semitism. But then, as I said earlier, my school was rather peculiar. I know, for example, that things were different in Drohobycz, where Jews were marked: this is a Jew, this is a Jewess. As long as I lived in Boryslaw anti-Semitism did not concern me. And I had a nice name – Noemi – everyone liked it. But there were Yiddish names about which no one said they are beautiful. Such names as Rywka or Chana no one liked, no one was enthusiastic about.

Often children were given double names. They had a name in Yiddish which was used at home and on religious occasions when, for example, a man was called upon to read from the Torah in the synagogue, and its Polish, Europeanized version, which figured in the birth certificate. For example there were Rywka - Rebekas, Rywka - Reginas or Dora - Dorotas. Maybe that was a Galician phenomenon. I remember how surprised I was when I discovered my friend from Warsaw, called Renia, had the name Rywka in her birth certificate.

We, the children, got along well. There was no name-calling or anything like that. I never experienced that. But everyone knew who is Jewish and who isn’t. Those divisions worked mostly along religious lines – Catholic, Greco-Catholic and Jewish – and were particularly visible at school because of the separation during religion classes. Which doesn’t mean that we didn’t have contacts with each other. We did spend our time together, both at school and after, when we played outside. We didn’t go to each other’s houses, but that wasn’t something children did at the time anyway.

I had a Ukrainian friend. Her name was Oksana. She was very lively, very pretty, and she sang beautifully. We went to secondary school together. But then she moved somewhere else. Her father was also a teacher.

Since I could ‘pass,’ as they say, I was usually a witness to anti-Semitism rather than its victim. I was not taken for a Jew but for a confidant, one to whom they could turn and say how disgusting those Jews are.

I remember that once, when I was in Zakopane [100 km south from Cracow, a famous health and tourist resort in the Tatra Mountains] I wanted to go into the Fuks pastry shop at Krupowki [Zakopane’s main street]. I was 16 then. A student picket stopped me in front of the door [Polish anti-Semitic students would stop non-Jews before entering Jewish stores; that was one of the anti-Semitic operations in the 1930s, known as: ‘don’t buy from the Jew’]. They blocked my way and said, ‘What is this, you’re buying from a Jew?’ To which I said, ‘Yes, because I’m Jewish, too.’ They stepped aside and I walked in. At the time I thought nothing of the event; it was no more than an adventure to me.

The situation got much worse in the second half of the 1930s. One could discern the change in the temperature of the debates which were carried out in my house. I didn’t pay much attention to them, because I didn’t understand politics enough to be interested. I had no independent life yet. At home they talked about anti-Semitic incidents which happened in Lwow and Cracow; something occurred in Drohobycz.

Right before Christmas students from Mlodziez Wszechpolska 8 came over to sell what they called student fish. The point was to stop Christians from buying fish from Jews who owned fish stores. One could hear the slogan, ‘Don’t buy from a Jew.’ In Zakopane, in the window of one of the cafés, I saw a sign: ‘Jews not allowed.’

The situation in education wasn’t much better. Restrictions were placed on Jews 9. At the University of Lwow the situation wasn’t very bad, but medicine became out of the question. My parents were planning to send me to study abroad.

Before the war there already were schools ironically called ‘Judenfrei’ 10. It was a term used in political jargon, in newspapers, even among young people themselves. Around national holidays – 11th November or 3rd May – riots sometimes started at universities. Pickets of Mlodziez Wszechpolska were hunting for Jews. In the fall of 1938 or 1939 there were two deaths in Lwow: one at the Polytechnic, the other at the Department of Pharmacy of Lwow University 11. The man from the Polytechnic was my future husband’s friend and for many years I remembered his name, but now I can’t.

My father died toward the end of January 1935, when I was 13. He was a little over forty. Three years after his death my mother remarried and we moved to Drohobycz. We lived at Jagiellonska Street, near the town square, next to the church. After she remarried my mother stopped working at school, but she didn’t give up teaching, which was her passion, and did private tutoring.

My stepfather, Adolf Drucker, was a banker. He managed a small bank in Drohobycz; I don’t even know what the name of that bank was. He was a kind and subtle man. I addressed him by his first name, Dolek [Polish diminutive for Adolf]. Even before my father’s death he was a good friend of my parents’. He endeared himself to me by trying to console me after my father’s death which left me heartbroken.

I passed my matriculation exam just before the war, in 1939, in Drohobycz, in the Henryk Sienkiewicz High School. It was a private school, formally for girls only, but I remember there were two boys in our class, Zbyszek and Andrzej. At the exam I did Latin, Polish, a foreign language and math.

In October 1939 I went to study in Lwow. At first I lived in the dorm, but then I moved to a Lwow friend’s house. I majored in economy, because economy was a popular field at the time. I started studying already after the Russians entered Lwow 12. The professorial staff was still mostly Polish, but there were also some new teachers who came from eastern Ukraine, from Kiev. Most of the classes were taught in Polish, but the so-called obligatory ideological subjects, such as Marxism and some type of economy class, were supposed to be taught in Ukrainian. But at the time everything was still so chaotic, that everybody spoke whatever they pleased.

I was no good as far as economy was concerned. At the time my head was full of theater ideas. I was involved in the student theater and couldn’t care less about life around me. In the years 1939-1941 student theater life was quite lively. Indoctrination was not as intense as it was to become later, though, obviously, patriotic plays were out of the question. Most of the plays staged dealt with social issues. I did a Mickiewicz 13 evening and that was no problem.

At the theater I acted and directed and even wrote plays; one does everything at a student theater. I wanted my plays to address some of the contemporary problems. I couldn’t speak of those directly, of course, so, for example, I wrote a play about the Paris Commune [Paris Commune, 18th March - 28th May 1871, a revolutionary and patriotic people’s uprising in Paris]. The play dealt not so much with the Commune itself as with its participants who were defeated. The starting point was a meeting of a painter, a musician and other young people who were trying to find themselves at the time of defeat. That was supposed to be an allusion. We had no problem staging that, because it was the Paris Commune anniversary. We learned language play and speaking in allusions.

I have to say I was unaware of many of the darker things happening at the time [September 1939-June 1941: Soviet occupation of Lwow] 14. I took pleasure in integration which happened among young people, in the fact that there were no divisions. I didn’t notice those who felt uncomfortable. Only later did I realize that was the case.

At the time, I was enjoying young age and freedom. At the time, what mattered to me was the comradeship among young people. There were no obstacles for young people then, they had easy access to education, they could grow as artists – it was really something. There were excellent actors in Lwow – many of them escaped to Lwow from Warsaw.

I started going to concerts frequently and it was worth it, as artists from the far Republics of the Soviet Union came to play and music was highest quality there; those musicians were recipients of many awards. Despite the fact that I was schooled in music from childhood – I had piano lessons – only in Lwow I really learned to appreciate classical music.

I was away from home and independent, receiving a scholarship on which I could easily support myself and on top of that I was getting various treats from home. I thought everybody else is happy too, being young… I basically did not realize what was going on, that we were in the midst of World War II.

It all lasted till April 1941, when people associated with Lwow’s pre-war authorities began to be taken away 15. Many of them were denounced. Parents of many of my friends, fugitives from Warsaw and Cracow were taken away. Those events shocked me so much that I stopped liking this Soviet new order. I began to be very critical, but that did not last long. When in June 1941 the war broke out 16, I forgot all of that criticism. Because then, the pre-war reality became my whole lost world; in my perception, it was the essence of freedom. Now came the time of the Holocaust and human hunt.

Until the outbreak of the German-Russian war I spent my holidays in Drohobycz. My stepfather was still working at the bank, now nationalized, where the Russians gave him the position of the director. When it became clear that Germans will invade Drohobycz, my stepfather wanted to get away, for it was more than clear what fate awaits the Jews when the Germans arrive. People had a foretaste of that when around 10th September 1939 the Germans came to Drohobycz. They were there only for a few days, but they already managed a small pogrom in the Jewish district.

My stepfather was right, but my mother said that she won’t go, because she doesn’t know what’s happening with me. Obviously my stepfather agreed to stay. They sent a letter to me through some railway man. I went back to Drohobycz then. I started working at a horticultural farm, away from the town, so I didn’t know what was happening there. And a lot was happening.

The Germans were undertaking anti-Jewish operations. Finally it came to that major one, when half of the Jews in Drohobycz were killed and the rest were caught and sent to Belzec 17. It is in this operation that my mother and my stepfather were killed. I survived because at that time I was at the farm. [In 1939, 17,000 Jews lived in Drohobycz. At the beginning of July 1941 German pogroms began; several thousand people were taken to Belzec, the rest were locked up in a ghetto created in October 1942; most of them died in Bronice forest on 21st June 1943. Around 400 Jews from Drohobycz survived the war.]

Since, as they say, I could pass, my friend fixed me with documents in the name of Franciszka Korsan. I left the farm, went back to Lwow and stayed with my friends there. It wasn’t very safe, but I wasn’t thinking. I knew German well, so I started working at some office as a kind of an errand-boy. I rented a room with strangers, at Hauke-Bossaka Street, near Leon Sapieha [one of Lwow’s main streets].

One day I ran into two friends on the street: the sister of a seamstress I knew and her cousin; we knew each other from the Drohobycz secondary school. They were coming from Warsaw where they ran into szmalcownicy 18. They were completely robbed, but at least they survived. They had no idea what to do next.

The owners of the apartment where I rented the room were rather primitive people. Besides me, they had other tenants; two students of the Polytechnic rented the room next to mine. I took the girls with me. One of them – the seamstress’s sister’s cousin – had some plan as to what to do next; she even had an arranged job. But the other, Edzia, as the seamstress’s sister was called, had no idea what to do. I decided to find documents for her.

She was a pretty girl, who unfortunately spoke with an accent, so she had to stay home for the time-being. I only asked her to stay away from the students next door: no contacts. I told the landlady she came to see a doctor. Edzia was supposed to stay in bed and pretend to be sick, until I bring her the papers, which meant at least a week.

ID documents, most importantly the ‘Kennkarte’ 19, could be variously obtained. Some people used a chain of friends and acquaintances, others bought the papers one way or another. The price depended on how you got the documents and what quality they were, 300 zlotys on the average. There were fake ‘Kennkarten’ which were forged, and real ones issued to a person who was dead. I had an authentic one which had belonged to a woman named Korsan, ten years my senior. Most importantly, those documents had to match the register books. One had to contact the priests who could change the entries in those books: they would enter new names or erase the dates of death.

As soon as I left Edzia alone in the apartment for the first time, however, she quickly got bored and started flirting with the students. They quickly saw through her and realized that she was Jewish. I didn’t know anything until I heard the gendarmes – two Germans and one Ukrainian – knock on our door at night. They only asked for her documents, nothing else. Edzia did not have her documents yet, so they took her.

I remembered Edzia telling me that if something happened I should notify the commander at Batory Street, for whom she used to work back in Drohobycz. I went there the next day, but he wasn’t there. Finally he arrived at 5 in the afternoon and said he was busy and I should leave a message with the secretary. So I left a note saying that Edzia was very sick and was taken away last night. And that was it. [Editor’s note: It was impossible to establish what had happened to Edzia.]

After the night visit of the gendarmes and Edzia’s capture I couldn’t go back to the room. Especially that now I knew those students would give me away if they found out I was Jewish. This was December 1942. During the day I walked the streets, sometimes I stepped into the building of the main post-office to warm up. Then I looked for a hallway in a big house, where I could hide under the stairs. I waited for curfew for the building to be locked up. Then I crouched under those stairs from 8 in the evening till 6 in the morning. I lived like that for two weeks.

One day I remembered that I used to know a janitor who lived in one of the buildings at Sykstulska Street. He was Ukrainian, but a very decent man. I went there and he let me wash up and spend the night. For the first time in a long time I could read a newspaper in the morning. In that newspaper I found an ad for a nanny.

In the morning I went to the address from the ad. When I walked in I froze. There were around ten candidates there and at a glance I could tell they were all Jewish with false papers. It turned out that the woman advertising for a nanny was a singer, a Ukrainian Reichsdeutsche [citizen of the German Reich]. She liked me and gave me the job.

On the same day I left with her and her husband for the small Ukrainian town of Bolechow, near Stryj. Her husband was from that region. Before the war he was a Ukrainian nationalist. In 1939 he went to Germany escaping a sentence for his political activity. He came back in 1941 as a German.

I spent a few months in Bolechow [until the spring of 1943]. I was to take care of two girls; one was five, the other several months old. The problem was I had no idea how a child is put together. Luckily there was a girl there, a housemaid. We bonded right away. She was also a Jew with Aryan papers. Her documents were issued in the name of Zofia Marszalek.

She was not much older than I was, but she had had many siblings and knew about children. She was resourceful and cheerful. She was wonderful. She taught me everything. She was a guardian, a mother and a sister to me. At night, when our employers went to sleep, we’d cease to be ‘Miss Zosia’ and ‘Miss Frania’ and called each other by our real names: I called her ‘Bronia’ and she called me ‘Noemi.’ This kept us alive. It was a blessing to be able every day to be oneself for a moment.

Our employers were terrible people. Every morning Madam would greet us by saying, ‘You rotten Laszki’ [from ‘Lach’ – a Pole]. Bronia was supposed to be the bad one, and I was supposed to be better, because I attended to the children. I was closer to the employers, while the rest were servants.

Finally my dear Bronia – officially Zosia – got into a conflict with our employer. One Sunday she came to work at 6 and not at 5am as she was supposed to. Madam hit her and Bronia hit back. She had to run away then, because Madam reported the incident to the Gestapo.

I was left alone. Madam got bored with only the children and myself for company and decided to move back to Lwow. The older girl was to go to a German daycare and the smaller one I was to take care of until Madam found someone else. Later, as a reward for good conduct, I was supposed to go back to Bolechow, where Madam’s husband was to give me a job in a furniture factory.

That’s what they promised, but soon I realized that Madam had no intention of sending me back. Since I, in turn, had no intention of staying with her in Lwow, I went back to Bolechow, claiming I brought clothes only for a few days and I needed to pick up the rest of my belongings.

In Bolechow I told that woman’s husband that I didn’t want to go back to Lwow, that I wanted to stay. But he was afraid of his wife and true enough, I did lie to her, so of course he didn’t give me the job. But that was ok, because I went to the ‘Arbeitsamt’ [German: employment office] and I was sent, on the basis of my false documents, to another small town, called Skole, where I got employment in a German construction company called Hochtief. That was at the end of April, beginning of May, 1943.

Skole was beautiful. I was located at the heart of Bieszczady. The only problem was that the town lay on the route to Hungary and a refugee trail ran through it, so in the little town there was a huge, reinforced Gestapo and ‘Grenzschutz’ [German: border patrol]. That posed a serious danger to me. The risk of me being discovered hiding with false papers was much greater there than somewhere else. To make matters worse, the manager of the company where I worked started flirting with me.

I managed to find a job in a rival firm, a sawmill under the authority of the Ministry of War. Its advantage was that it was situated on the outskirts of town. I was supposed to be a stenographer. I had no experience with stenography, but I ordered a textbook from Cracow and managed somehow. Soon, two or three weeks later, the Gestapo came for me. Probably someone denounced me as a Jew.

Usually no one arrested by the Gestapo came back alive. I gave them my false name and lied as best I could. It was a Saturday. They interrogated me all day and then locked me up in a shed they called detention room. The man who was locking me up said, ‘In a few hours you’ll find out if you’re going home or up there,’ pointing to the sky.

I was exhausted, so I fell asleep as soon as I sat down on the wooden pallet. I don’t know how much time passed when I was woken up by the clatter of opening doors. They man who locked me up comes in and says, ‘Guess where you’re going.’ So I ask, ‘Did you consider the matter carefully?’ ‘Yes,’ he says. ‘Then I’m going home,’ I say. He looked at me apprehensively and finally said, ‘Congratulations.’

In what I told during the interrogation there was only one word of truth: I was sent to this job by the ‘Arbeitsamt.’ The rest was baloney. I told them I had an uncle, a whole family in fact, in Boryslawiec… some absurd fibs like that. It was a Saturday and they probably didn’t feel like checking it all out. Maybe that man thought that if they lock me up in the shed for a few hours, they’ll break me. I don’t know. One way or another, I stayed in Skole until July 1944, working in the sawmill.

When in the summer of 1944 the Germans started running away, they ordered an evacuation, because the front line was to go through the town. I had many friends in the town and a family that was taking care of me. These were local people. I convinced them not to go with the Germans, but to run away into the woods, for we would be free very soon. Many people did that. The locals went into the mountains, into inaccessible regions, for the time when the fighting was going on.

In my group, the most important person was ‘Aunt’ Wila, who was hiding with her kids. We had a goat and we built tents in the woods. Because it was summer, the weather was beautiful, but unfortunately there was not a drop of rain, so there were no berries or mushrooms. We used water from the mountain streams. Aunt Wila made nettle soup. The goat milk was very precious and mostly the children got it, but sometimes I got a drop, too, because I was very emaciated.

Sometimes we went down with knapsacks and collected potatoes and other vegetables from the fields. Once during such an excursion we were caught by a German patrol, but they let us go in exchange for a ring. Obviously we were there as locals, only I was Jewish, but nobody knew about that. Once we found several bottles of oil in an abandoned tent. The people who lived there must have decided to move higher into the mountains. We survived like that till October 1944.

In October, the front line did move up very close. We could see fireballs flying. Everybody was really scared, but I loved it. A few days later we heard a humming sound and then saw a small group of Soviet soldiers move into town. Two or three days later I decided to go to Lwow to see who was still there. But to get to Lwow I had to go to Stryj. I went there in some military vehicle; I think it was an open truck.

I had an address in Stryj. Back in Skole, when I was desperately seeking contact with an underground organization, because I wanted to do something against the Germans, I met a boy from Stryj. His father was a judge and his uncle was General Sosabowski. [Maj. Gen. Stanislaw Sosabowski (1892-1967) was a Polish general in World War II. He fought in the Battle of Arnhem (Netherlands) in 1944 as commander of the Polish 1st Independent Parachute Brigade.]

This friend once said that if I’m ever in Stryj and need help I should go to his family and say I know him. At the time I was in need, so I found his house where his mother and his aunt lived. They took me in and were very nice to me. I could wash up, lay in a wonderful clean bed with fresh sheets, I got scrambled eggs for breakfast and was treated as a daughter or someone else very close. In the morning I said goodbye and went out on the road to Lwow to catch a truck. I was walking down the road, when I heard a voice calling me by name: ‘Noemi.’ I turn around and see a skinny guy, in an oilcloth quasi-army coat. That was my close friend from Lwow, Kuba.

Kuba [Polish diminutive for Jakub] was born in Vienna in 1919. At home, among the family, he was called Majer Jankiel, but his birth certificate said Jakub. He had a brother, Josef, who was six years older. The family of his mother, Olga, nee Rothbard, came from Bolechow; the family of his father, Ozjasz Ekert, came from Stryj. They were traditional Jews; the mother did not wear a wig, but the father went to the synagogue every week, prayed, and raised his children in the same way. At home they spoke Yiddish, but they all were fluent in German as well, since they lived under Austrian partitions.

The best known person in the family was Kuba’s grandfather, Lejb, who had a small sweets factory in Stryj with a branch established later in Vienna. Even Stryjkowski 20 mentions this factory in one of his stories. Ozjasz – Grandfather Lejb’s son and Kuba’s father – received a journeyman’s or master’s qualifications, I can’t remember which, and took over a branch in Vienna. Several years later, in 1921, for some reason they went back to Stryj. Apparently they were a well-known family.

I had no idea Kuba was in Stryj. It turned out he was saved together with his brother. The two of them and a group of their friends shared an apartment in Stryj. Kuba took me there. We were young, happy and saved: we had a wonderful time! I stayed with them for three or four days and then went to Lwow. I didn’t find my friends there, only caught a trace that one of them was in Cracow. I also went to Drohobycz. I met two women I knew and one closer friend. I knew what happened to my parents and from the people I met I learned about the later plight of the Drohobycz Jews during the war. I went back to Stryj.

Later I went to Lwow one more time. I recovered some of my things. I went to the Polytechnic to get certificates for Kuba and his brother: Kuba completed three years at the Polytechnic and his brother was a graduate. I also went to the theater and ran into Bardini there [Aleksander Bardini (1913–1995), a well-known Polish director and actor]. I had met him several years earlier, after I’d won some competition on the radio. Bardini gave me a letter to take to Cracow, to one of the actors from a theater studio. When I went back to Stryj, I announced that I was going to Cracow.

Repatriations already started at that time 21. We signed up with Kuba and his brother. We left in April 1945 and made our way to Cracow. Repatriation was not really obligatory. People volunteered because they felt trapped. Poles were leaving and what was left of the Jews. The only people that stayed behind were those deep in the Soviet Union and those who had binding family ties. I think everybody who could, left.

Most people escaped to the West, but we were of a different mentality. We knew right away we would stay in Cracow. That was my mother’s dream-city. In some way, I felt it was kin to Lwow. We traveled in Spartan conditions, by freight trains. We were young and full of hope, but the conditions were really lousy. The train stopped in Tarnow for several days, as the war was still going on. But finally we arrived in Cracow.

In Cracow we went to the appointed gathering place in Hotel Polonia, near the train station. It is a very big hotel and many people stayed there until they were assigned an apartment or a room in a shared apartment. Everybody was looking for work. In that hotel I met many of my pre-war acquaintances.  We got a temporary room, quite decent in fact. We had no money and the hot soups handed out daily to the repatriates helped a lot.

Kuba enrolled at the Academy of Mining and Metallurgy, where a Polytechnic Department was created. That meant, among others, that he got free soup at school. What’s more, he and the other students got occasional employment doing cleaning jobs in town. They were very badly paid, but still that was a start. And anyway, that was such a happy time that we didn’t even worry that we have no means to support ourselves.

I remember soldiers selling things they stole in the western part of Poland, in Silesia. One could buy those for very little and sell them for more. And so it went. Kuba and his brother started tutoring. They were brilliant mathematicians. The money from that somehow supported us. Then I went to Lodz and got a scholarship there. Kuba also got a scholarship from the Academy of Mining and Metallurgy.

Kuba and I decided that we would not formally get married. After those years spent with false names and on false documents, after all that we’d gone through, we did not want formal procedures. At the time of the Germans, the lack of documents meant a sentence. That was a daunting experience. And anyway, we didn’t care for a slip of paper. That was below our dignity. Instead of celebrating a wedding we went to the office and, taking our friends for witnesses, we filed a declaration that we are married to each other.

At the time many people had no documents, having lost them during the war. Duplicates were issued on the basis of declarations. I had to get a duplicate of my ID, so I got a duplicate of my marriage certificate, too. After the war I had three names at my disposal: Ekert, after my husband, Korsan, from the occupation, and my family name, Presser. I decided my name would be Noemi Korsan-Ekert, for I liked the sound of it.

In 1948 Kuba’s brother, Jozef, left for Paris. He didn’t really want to go, but his fiancée returned with her entire family from the Soviet Union, where they survived the war, and the family insisted to leave. Kuba’s parents were killed during the first anti-Jewish operation, as soon as the German army came, in 1941. It happened on the first day of the Jewish New Year [Rosh Hashanah]. I know because at Kuba’s brother’s house in Paris, where he lived until his death, on the eve of the New Year there were always two candles burning to commemorate the death of their parents.

Iwo Gal ran an actor’s studio in Cracow. One day I read an announcement that they were recruiting so I went and was accepted. I was there for a few months, from April until I got angry with Gal and went to Lodz to the pre-war PIST [Panstwowy Instytut Sztuki Teatralnej: State Institute for Theater Arts], which later became PWST [Panstwowa Wyzsza Szkola Teatralna: State Higher Theater School].

State Institute for Theater Arts was founded in Warsaw before the war, the only school of the kind in Poland. There were also little studios, usually run by well-known actors, but PIST was the only higher school where you could get an education in theater arts. The creator and soul of the Department of Directing was Leon Schiller [(1887 – 1954), theater director, critic and theorist].

After the war, PIST was reactivated in Lodz, since Warsaw was in ruin. So I went to Lodz to take my exams. When I arrived I found out it was too late. The exams were over. I was inconsolable. I was leaving the office, tearful and sniffling, when I was approached by Aleksander Zelwerowicz himself [(1877–1955), actor, director]. Obviously I had no idea whom I was talking to. He asked me why I’m crying, so I said I was late, and he told me to come the next day. I was added to the list of candidates, then I passed the exam, went to school, and graduated.

The first theater in which I was engaged as an actress was in Katowice. It had a branch in Opole which was run by Irena and Tadeusz Byrscy. I liked those two so much, they seemed so different, so anti-routine that I declared I wanted to go to Opole to join them. Everybody thought I was crazy, but I went anyway. After a year they lost that place and I was engaged in Cracow, in Slowacki Theater.

My husband had just graduated and worked as a junior assistant at the Cracow Polytechnic. A few years later our child was born, Ruth. My husband was offered to move to Warsaw, to work at the University and at the Ministry of Higher Education as a Deputy Director at the Department of Technical Studies.

We went to Warsaw and then I discovered the Byrscy were running a theater in Kielce. I was so filled with faith about theater’s mission that, having a small baby and having to organize childcare and a place to live, I still went to Kielce. Every free day I would go to Warsaw. I lasted four years like that. But when the Byrscy couple moved again, this time to Poznan, it was too much for me. I decided to enroll at the Department of Directing.

One day, in 1965, I got a phone call. An acquaintance was asking if I remembered Maryla Metonomska. I said I did. ‘Well,’ she said, ‘Maryla lives in Jaroslaw [a town in south-east Poland, 300 km east of Cracow] and makes a living as a worker. But she would like to work at a library. She needs a witness that she graduated from high school. She doesn’t have any papers, she changed her identity during the war and burned all her documents…’

I met Maryla when I was 15. She fascinated me. The story of her childhood sounded like a teary novel. Later I found out that her stories were not entirely true, but it does not matter, I was convinced they were. She told me about her mother who was a dancer. When Maryla was two, her parents separated. Her mother moved to Vienna, remarried and had another child, a boy. Maryla lived at her father’s home. She was raised by her grandparents, a spinster aunt and various governesses. Maryla lived convinced that they were preventing her from seeing her mother. She hated them all, maybe with the exception of the grandparents.

That was a well-to-do, assimilated Jewish family. They lived in Lwow. They obviously all had higher education. Maryla, who was good at languages, had lessons of French and German. But she was terribly rebellious. Already in secondary school she was active in a quasi-communist organization. Basically, she wanted to destroy everything.

At 19, to spite her family, she married a working-class boy – a very handsome son of some janitors. Instead of studying at university, she got employment as a worker at a spoon factory. I saw her last when the Germans invaded Lwow [in 1941].

After that phone call, when I found out she had survived, I went to Jaroslaw to see her. She had two children and didn’t quite know how to support herself and how to live. I started visiting her and trying to help. Several years later she died.

My husband brought her children from Jaroslaw. The boy, Wiktor, graduated from high school. Kuba managed to get him a scholarship and Wiktor went to study in Czechoslovakia. The girl, Iwona, stayed with us and became our second daughter. She is six months older than Ruth and they think of each other as sisters.

When I graduated from the Department of Directing in Warsaw, my student colleague, or in fact a close friend, Leszek Komarnicki, became the director of a theater in Szczecin [north-west of Poland] and invited me to come there as a director. From time to time, when there was a part which interested me and they thought it’s a part for me, I acted, too. But mostly I directed.

As an actress, I played dramatic parts and distinctive, sometimes comic, characters. I directed various plays, by Mrozek [Slawomir Mrozek (b. 1930), Polish playwright, prose writer and satirist], Ibsen [Henrik Ibsen (1828-1906), Norwegian playwright and theater director], Shakespeare, a true variety. I traveled around Poland a lot: to Wroclaw, Lublin, Olsztyn, Szczecin, Warsaw, I even went to Tarnow. And that’s what I did until my retirement.

I worked with the Jewish Theater in Warsaw only once. The problem was that I don’t know Yiddish. Still, Szurmiej invited me to do ‘Zydowka z Toledo’ [Szymon Szurmiej (b. 1923), actor, director, head of the State Jewish Theater in Warsaw; ‘Zydowka z Toledo,’ ‘Die Jüdin von Toledo,’ [‘A Jewess of Toledo’], a historical drama by Austrian playwright, Franz Grillparzer (1791-1872)]. ‘Zydowka z Toledo’ is not a play, but a novel, so I had to adapt it. It was translated into Yiddish by a brilliant poet from Szczecin; I think it was Eliasz Rajzman [actor, poet from Kowl].

Here’s how I worked on it: I had a Polish text exactly matching the text of the original, word for word; after a while, I began to understand what the actors were saying; then, I began to know if they were saying it right or wrong.

In my adaptation, the Jewess’s father was the main protagonist; she seemed only a pretext to me. I focused on the theme of the attack on the father, that’s where the weight of the play lay for me. It made sense to me as a story of a man who is besieged because he is different, even though he’s done great service, having been a minister of finance of sorts. I think that at the censorship office they knew exactly what I was after. The year was 1971, soon after 1968 22. The play was taken off by the censorship even before dress rehearsals.

1968 affected us very badly. Very badly. My husband lost his position on the charge that he supported the funds for the opposition, which wasn’t even true. Kuba had little to do with the opposition, he simply knew some of the people. Our friend, or actually my friend, Szymon Szechter, a historian from Lwow, had a private secretary because he was blind. The secretary’s name was Nina Karsof. Allegedly my husband was collecting money for them. But it was me who saw Szechter, heard he was in need and helped him financially, not my husband. My husband only knew Szechter through me and anyway they had hardly any contacts with each other. But that was only a pretext.

After the war we didn’t really realize the extent of anti-Semitism. The worst was the state anti-Semitism of 1968. Apparently 1956 was bad, too, but that’s when the emigration started; very many people left. I didn’t feel – we didn’t think – we didn’t take anti-Semitism seriously.

But when this official anti-Semitism began in 1968, it was terrible. It damaged some kind of trust we had, we were in despair. But we never thought of leaving. Kuba, my husband, claimed he couldn’t survive ruined abroad. And I couldn’t imagine surviving abroad, period. I couldn’t imagine living permanently abroad. I had everything that was mine here. And even this filth of 1968, that was mine, too. That’s what I thought. But the experience was emotionally draining.

Our daughters were still small kids then. Iwona had no Jewish awareness at all at the time. She was very worried that we’re going to leave. Ruth had just begun to feel Jewish. That was the beginning of her awareness… Not that there were taboo subjects in our house, she had always known everything, she had known who her grandparents were, but it never mattered at all. But then she began to feel Jewish. She developed a deep interest, began learning about Jewish history and culture. Now she really knows a lot about Jews. Ruth calls herself a Polish Jew. She doesn’t want to be called a Pole of Jewish origin. She is simply a Polish Jew.

For Iwona that process was very strange. She was very, very scared of the subject, because her mother did everything to spare her children from Jewishness. Maryla had experienced terrible things because she was Jewish and she never talked about that. Her children were baptized. Iwona is light and has Slavic features. Sometimes she would be called Zydowa [a racial slur for a Jewish woman] and she didn’t know what that means, so she’d ask her mother. Maryla was extremely upset then and Iwona became afraid of the topic, too. We haven’t indoctrinated her at all. But she knew everything; only she avoided the subject.

When she got married she baptized her children, although she was not religious. She was very neurotic and we did everything we could to soothe her, to help her adjust. When she was a grown-up woman, she read in the paper that there exist workshops for people who are having problems with their identity; I never knew about that. She signed up for a workshop and it helped her amazingly. She started participating in various other workshops and finally began saying out loud that she comes from the Jews. She told her children. And she is fine. She figured it out for herself.

In 1968, Kuba got employment in the Institute of Meteorology as a head of a department; the climate department, I think. He had an education as an engineer in water construction, so he was fine for the job, but obviously, in comparison to his previous position, that was a huge degradation.

My husband worked also as a volunteer in the Jewish Historical Institute 23. He collected materials. He was an engineer by profession but a historian by temperament. He was always interested in the history of the Jews and was very knowledgeable. As for those times, he knew that history incredibly well. I couldn’t fathom where he knew all of that from. Kuba died six years ago [1998].

Ten years ago my cousin found me. Howard [Hagaj] Gelb was the son of Simcha, my mother’s eldest brother. Hagaj was born in Poland; in 1926 he emigrated with his parents to the United States and changed his name to Howard, for that other, Hebrew one, was unpronounceable to Americans. In the States he finished law school. During World War II he fought in the American army. After the war he worked as a lawyer, later as a real estate agent.

His brother Saadia, who was a journalist, went to Palestine. He still lives there. His other brother, Amiel, died a few years ago. His sister, Awiwa – Vivien – worked as a psychologist; she died three years ago.

Howard came to Poland, the country of his childhood, with his wife. She was born in the States into a family of Latvian Jews. One day I heard the doorbell ring and when I opened the door a woman standing there showed me a name card with ‘Howard Gelb’ written on it and asked me if that name means anything to me. I said my mother’s maiden name was Gelb. She told me then that this Howard Gelb is my cousin and is searching for me.

As it turned out, she was a tourist guide whom Hagaj hired to look for me in Warsaw, while he went to Kolbuszowa where our grandfather once lived. He also searched for me in Cracow, because right after the war I contacted his father and my uncle, only I used my occupational name then. We were still quite obsessive after the war… Anyway, he was looking for me as Franciszka Korsan, a name nobody knew me by over there. But he finally found me as Noemi Korsan-Ekert and our joy was great.

We were together for several days and I became very close to him and so did my husband. They became very good friends; one could say they operated on the same wavelength. When Howard went back to the States, among the family papers he found photographs of my mother and father and sent them to me. These are the only pre-war photographs I have. The rest was lost.

When at the beginning of the 1990s a revival of Jewish life began in Warsaw, I was rather skeptical. I remember that when I learned that some beginnings of a Jewish school were attempted [Lauder School], I thought it fake, strange and at odds with the reality around. But it turns out I was wrong.

Sometime later, at my friend’s birthday, a young handsome man, a director, was introduced to me. I started talking to him and all of a sudden I was dumbfounded: I realized he was wearing a yarmulka. A young man in a yarmulka would have been unthinkable a few years earlier! I continue to meet people who came to feel some connection to the Jewish world; not always through the synagogue, sometimes they simply discover a sense of a community. I was wrong. Maybe even what was done thus far means an enduring revival.

Glossary

1 Tarbut schools

Elementary, secondary and technical schools maintained by the Hebrew educational and cultural organization called Tarbut. Most Eastern European countries had such schools between the two world wars but there were especially many in Poland. The language of instruction was Hebrew and the education was Zionist oriented.

2 Partitions of Poland (1772-1795)

Three divisions of the Polish lands, in 1772, 1793 and 1795 by the neighboring powers: Russia, Austria and Prussia. Under the first partition Russia occupied the lands east of the Dzwina, Drua and Dnieper, a total of 92,000 km2 and a population of 1.3 million. Austria took the southern part of the Cracow and Sandomierz provinces, the Oswiecim and Zator principalities, the Ruthenian province (except for the Chelm lands) and part of the Belz province, a total of 83,000 km2 and a population of 2.6 million. Prussia annexed Warmia, the Pomerania, Malbork and Chelmno provinces (except for Gdansk and Torun) and the lands along the Notec river and Goplo lake, altogether 36,000 km2 and 580,000 souls. The second partition was carried out by Prussia and Russia. Prussia occupied the Poznan, Kalisz, Gniezno, Sieradz, Leczyca, Inowroclaw, Brzesc Kujawski and Plock provinces, the Dobrzyn lands, parts of the Rawa and Masovia provinces, and Torun and Gdansk, a total of 58,000 km2 and over a million inhabitants. Russia took the Ukrainian and Belarus lands east of the Druja-Pinsk-Zbrucz line, altogether 280,000 km2 and 3 million inhabitants. Under the third partition Russia obtained the rest of the Lithuanian, Belarus and Ukrainian lands east of the Bug and the Nemirov-Grodno line, a total area of 120,000 km2 and 1.2 million inhabitants. The Prussians took the remainder of Podlasie and Mazovia, Warsaw, and parts of Samogitia and Malopolska, 55,000 km2 and a population of 1 million. Austria annexed Cracow and the part of Malopolska between the Pilica, Vistula and Bug, and part of Podlasie and Masovia, a total surface area of 47,000 km2 and a population of 1.2 million.

3 Poalei Zion (the Jewish Social-Democratic Workers’ Party Workers of Zion)

In Yiddish 'Yidishe Socialistish-Demokratishe Arbeiter Partei Poale Syon.' A political party formed in 1905 in the Kingdom of Poland, and operating throughout the Polish state from 1918. The party's main aim was to create an independent socialist Jewish state in Palestine. In the short term, Poalei Zion postulated cultural and national autonomy for the Jews in Poland, and improved labor and living conditions of Jewish hired laborers. In 1920, during a conference in Vienna, the party split, forming the Right Poalei Zion (the Jewish Socialist Workers' Party Workers of Zion), which became part of the Socialist Workers' International and the World Zionist Organization, and the Left Poalei Zion (the Jewish Social-Democratic Workers' Party Workers of Zion), the radical minority, which sympathized with the Bolsheviks. The Left Poalei Zion placed more emphasis on socialist postulates. Key activists: I. Schiper (Right PZ), L. Holenderski, I. Lew (Left PZ); paper: Arbeiter Welt. Both fractions had their own youth organizations: Right PZ: Dror and Freiheit; Left PZ - Jugnt. Left PZ was weaker than Right PZ; only towards the end of the 1930s did it start to form coalitions with other socialist and Zionist parties. In 1937 Left PZ joined the World Zionist Organization. During WWII both fractions were active in underground politics and the resistance movement in the ghettos, in particular the youth organizations. After 1945 both parties joined the Central Jewish Committee in Poland. In 1947 they reunited to form the strongest legally active Jewish party in Poland (with 20,000 members). In 1950 Poalei Zion was dissolved by the communist authorities.

4 Bund

The short name of the General Jewish Union of Working People in Lithuania, Poland and Russia, Bund means Union in Yiddish. The Bund was a social democratic organization representing Jewish craftsmen from the Western areas of the Russian Empire. It was founded in Vilnius in 1897. In 1906 it joined the autonomous fraction of the Russian Social Democratic Working Party and took up a Menshevist position. After the Revolution of 1917 the organization split: one part was anti-Soviet power, while the other remained in the Bolsheviks' Russian Communist Party. In 1921 the Bund dissolved itself in the USSR, but continued to exist in other countries.

5 Anti-Semitism in Poland in the 1930s

From 1935-39 the activities of Polish anti-Semitic propaganda intensified. The Sejm introduced barriers to ritual slaughter, restrictions of Jews' access to education and certain professions. Nationalistic factions postulated the removal of Jews from political, social and cultural life, and agitated for economic boycotts to persuade all the country's Jews to emigrate. Nationalist activists took up posts outside Jewish shops and stalls, attempting to prevent Poles from patronizing them. Such campaigns were often combined with damage and looting of shops and beatings, sometimes with fatal consequences. From June 1935 until 1937 there were over a dozen pogroms, the most publicized of which was the pogrom in Przytyk in 1936. The Catholic Church also contributed to the rise of anti-Semitism.

6 Schultz, Bruno (1892–1942)

Painter, graphic artist and writer of Jewish descent who wrote in Polish. He was born and lived in Drohobycz (today Ukraine). He studied architecture in Lwow and painting in Vienna. He made his literary debut in 1933 with the novel “The Street of Crocodiles” (“Sklepy cynamonowe”). His second book, a collection of short stories “Sanatorium Under the Sight of the Hourglass,” was published in 1937. Both were highly praised in Warsaw literary circles. He uses poetic prose and his books are known for their freedom of composition and elements of mysticism and fantasy. He was also a literary critic. His paintings did not survive the war, only the drawings and illustrations did, among which the best known is the volume “The Book of Idolatry” (“Xiega Balwochwalcza”) and the illustrations he did for his own “Sanatorium Under the Sight of the Hourglass” and Witold Gombrowicz’s novel “Ferdydurke.” From 1924 on, Schultz was an art teacher in Drohobycz. He was shot and died in the Drohobycz ghetto.

7 Bolsheviks

Members of the movement led by Lenin. The name 'Bolshevik' was coined in 1903 and denoted the group that emerged in elections to the key bodies in the Social Democratic Party (SDPRR) considering itself in the majority (Rus. bolshynstvo) within the party. It dubbed its opponents the minority (Rus. menshynstvo, the Mensheviks). Until 1906 the two groups formed one party. The Bolsheviks first gained popularity and support in society during the 1905-07 Revolution. During the February Revolution in 1917 the Bolsheviks were initially in the opposition to the Menshevik and SR ('Sotsialrevolyutsionyery', Socialist Revolutionaries) delegates who controlled the Soviets (councils). When Lenin returned from emigration (16th April) they proclaimed his program of action (the April theses) and under the slogan 'All power to the Soviets' began to Bolshevize the Soviets and prepare for a proletariat revolution. Agitation proceeded on a vast scale, especially in the army. The Bolsheviks set about creating their own armed forces, the Red Guard. Having overthrown the Provisional Government, they created a government with the support of the II Congress of Soviets (the October Revolution), to which they admitted some left-wing SRs in order to gain the support of the peasantry. In 1952 the Bolshevik party was renamed the Communist Party of the Soviet Union.

8 Mlodziez Wszechpolska

A student organization, nationalist and anti-Semitic in character, created in 1918, ideologically linked with Narodowa Demokracja, most influential in academic circles. Reactivated underground during the war, in 1943. After 1945 failed attempts at legalization as a party. In 1989 the organization was reactivated at a convention of nationalist Catholic youth in Poznan (current president of the board: Roman Giertych).

9 Numerus clausus in Poland

After World War I nationalist groupings in Poland lobbied for the introduction of the numerus clausus (Latin: closed number - a limit on the number of people admitted to the practice of a given profession or to an institution - a school, a university, government office or association) in relation to Jews and other ethnic minorities. The most radical groupings demanded the introduction of the numerus nullus principle, i.e. a total ban on admittance to universities and certain professions. The numerus nullus principle was violated by the Polish constitution. The battle for its introduction continued throughout the interwar period. In practice the numerus clausus was applied informally. It depended on decision of deans or university presidents. In 1938 it was indirectly introduced at the Bar.

10 Judenfrei (Judenrein)

German for 'free (purified) of Jews'. A term created by the Nazis in Germany in connection with the plan entitled 'The Final Solution to the Jewish Question', the aim of which was defined as 'the creation of a Europe free of Jews'. The term 'Judenrein'/'Judenfrei' in Nazi terminology referred to the extermination of the Jews and described an area (a town or a region), from which the entire Jewish population had been deported to extermination camps or forced labor camps. The term was, particularly in occupied Poland, an established part of the official and unofficial Nazi language.

11 The killings of Jewish students in Lwow in 1938-1939

The "desk-ghetto" was introduced at Lwow University in 1937. Jewish students refused to observe it and some of the Polish students supported them. Nationalist squads tried to impose the ghetto by force: they coerced Jews to occupy specified seats. On 24th October 1938 the Jewish students of the Department of Pharmacology were attacked with knives. Two of them-Karol Zellermayer and Samuel Proweller-died as a result of wounds. Police investigation demonstrated that the perpetrators were members of a squad belonging to the National Democratic Party; some of them were arrested. Zellermayer's funeral turned into a demonstration against violence at the university, attended by Jews, members of various organizations, students and part of the faculty, including the rector. On 24th May 1939 another Jewish student was killed during riots, Markus Landsberg. He was a first-year student at the Lwow Polytechnic. The Senate at the Polytechnic demanded that student organizations condemn that crime. 18 refused. 16 professors wrote a memorandum to the Prime Minister demanding steps to be taken in order to curb the destructive elements among the students.

12 Annexation of Eastern Poland

According to a secret clause in the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact defining Soviet and German territorial spheres of influence in Eastern Europe, the Soviet Union occupied Eastern Poland in September 1939. In early November the newly annexed lands were divided up between the Ukrainian and the Belarusian Soviet Republics.

13 Mickiewicz, Adam (1798-1855)

Often regarded as the greatest Polish poet. As a student he was arrested for nationalist activities by the tsarist police in 1823. In 1829 he managed to emigrate to France and worked as professor of literature at different universities. During the 1848 revolution in France and the Crimean War he attempted to organize legions for the Polish cause. Mickiewicz's poetry gave international stature to Polish literature. His powerful verse expressed a romantic view of the soul and the mysteries of life, often employing Polish folk themes.

14 Soviet capture of Lwow

From 12th September 1939, Lwow was surrounded by the German army. General Wladyslaw Langner was in command of the defense. On 19th September the Soviet troops attacked from the east. The Germans began evacuation, as in line with the Ribbentrop-Molotov pact Lwow was to belong to the Soviet occupational zone. The representatives of the Red Army began talks with the city authorities. On 21st September a tentative capitulation agreement was reached. On 22nd September around 1pm the Soviet army entered Lwow. The taking of the city was relatively nonviolent. Polish soldiers lay down their arms. Several lynches happened, the victims were particularly Polish policemen. In the poverty-stricken districts and among the Jews and Ukrainians demonstrations were organized in support of the new authorities.

15 Lwow deportations

From the beginning of the Soviet occupation of eastern Poland on 17th September 1939, until the Soviet – German war, which broke out on 21st June 1941, the Soviet authorities were deporting people associated with the former Polish authorities, culture, church and army. Around 400,000 people were exiled from the Lwow, Tarnopol and Stanislawow districts, mostly to northern Russia, Siberia and Kazakhstan. Between 12th and 15th April as many as 25,000 were deported from Lwow only.

16 Great Patriotic War

On 22nd June 1941 at 5 o'clock in the morning Nazi Germany attacked the Soviet Union without declaring war. This was the beginning of the so-called Great Patriotic War. The German blitzkrieg, known as Operation Barbarossa, nearly succeeded in breaking the Soviet Union in the months that followed. Caught unprepared, the Soviet forces lost whole armies and vast quantities of equipment to the German onslaught in the first weeks of the war. By November 1941 the German army had seized the Ukrainian Republic, besieged Leningrad, the Soviet Union's second largest city, and threatened Moscow itself. The war ended for the Soviet Union on 9th May 1945.

17 Belzec

Village in Lublin region of Poland (Tomaszow district). In 1940 the Germans created a forced labor camp there for 2,500 Jews and Roma. In November 1941 it was transformed into an extermination camp (SS Sonderkommando Belzec or Dienststelle Belzec der Waffen SS) under the 'Reinhard-Aktion,' in which the Germans murdered around 600,000 people (chiefly in gas chambers), including approximately 550,000 Polish Jews (approx. 300,000 from the province of Galicia) and Jews from the USSR, Austria, Belgium, Czechoslovakia, Denmark, Holland, Germany, Norway and Hungary; many Poles from surrounding towns and villages and from Lwow also died here, mostly for helping Jews. In November 1942 the Nazis began liquidating the camp. In the spring of 1943 the camp was demolished and the corpses of the gassed victims exhumed from their mass graves and burned. The last 600 Jews employed in this work were then sent to the Sobibor camp, where they died in the gas chambers.

18 Szmalcownik

Polish slang word from the period of the German occupation (derived from the German word 'Schmalz', meaning lard), referring to a person blackmailing and denouncing Jews in hiding. Szmalcowniks operated in all larger cities, in particular following the liquidation of the ghettos, when Jews who had evaded deportation attempted to survive in hiding. In Warsaw they often formed organized groups that prowled around the ghetto exists. They picked out their victims by subtle signs (e.g. lowered, frightened eyes, timid behavior), eccentric clothing (e.g. the lack of the fur collar so widespread at the time, or wearing winter clothes in summer), way of speaking, etc. Victims so selected were threatened with denunciation to the Germans; blackmail could be an isolated event or be repeated until the victim's financial resources ran out. The Polish underground attempted to combat the szmalcowniks but in vain. To this day the crimes of the szmalcowniks are not entirely investigated and accounted for.

19  Kenkarta

(German: Kennkarte - ID card) confirmed the identity and place of residence of its holder. It bore a photograph, a thumbprint, and the address and signature of its holder. It was the only document of its type issued to Poles during the Nazi occupation.

20 Stryjkowski, Julian (1905-1996)

real name Pesach Stark. Writer, born into an Orthodox Jewish family. In his youth he participated in the Zionist movement, later associated with the communist left. He lived through the war in the USSR. In his writing he gives an epic-scale depiction of small-town Jewish communities in Poland before WWI. His best known novels are: 'Glosy w ciemnosci' (1956), Austeria [The Inn, 1966] and 'Sen Azrila' (1975). He wrote a triptych of novels based on biblical themes: Odpowiedz (1982), Krol Dawid zyje! (1984), Juda Makabi (1986). He deals with the communist period in his life in the novel 'Czarna Roza' (1962, published underground) and in his memoirs, 'To samo, ale inaczej' (1990). His historical novel dealing with 15th century Spanish inquisition, 'Przybysz z Narbony' (1978), is also well-known.

21 Repatriations

Post-war repatriations from the USSR included displaced persons deported to the Soviet Union during the war, but also native inhabitants of what had been eastern Poland before the war and what was annexed to the Soviet Union in 1945. In the years 1945-1950, 266,000 people were repatriated, among them around 150,000 Jews. The name 'repatriation' is commonly used, despite the fact that those were often not voluntary.

22 Anti-Zionist campaign in Poland

From 1962-1967 a campaign got underway to sack Jews employed in the Ministry of Internal Affairs, the army and the central administration. The background to this anti-Semitic campaign was the involvement of the Socialist Bloc countries on the Arab side in the Middle East conflict, in connection with which Moscow ordered purges in state institutions. On 19th June 1967 at a trade union congress the then First Secretary of the Polish United Workers' Party [PZPR], Wladyslaw Gomulka, accused the Jews of a lack of loyalty to the state and of publicly demonstrating their enthusiasm for Israel's victory in the Six-Day-War. This address marked the start of purges among journalists and creative professions. Poland also severed diplomatic relations with Israel. On 8th March 1968 there was a protest at Warsaw University. The Ministry of Internal Affairs responded by launching a press campaign and organizing mass demonstrations in factories and workplaces during which 'Zionists' and 'trouble-makers' were indicted and anti-Semitic and anti-intelligentsia slogans shouted. After the events of March, purges were also staged in all state institutions, from factories to universities, on criteria of nationality and race. 'Family liability' was also introduced (e.g. with respect to people whose spouses were Jewish). Jews were forced to emigrate. From 1968-1971 15,000-30,000 people left Poland. They were stripped of their citizenship and right of return.

23 Jewish Historical Institute [Zydowski Instytut Historyczny (ZIH)]

Warsaw-based academic institution devoted to researching the history and culture of Polish Jews. Founded in 1947 from the Central Jewish Historical Committee, an arm of the Central Committee for Polish Jews. ZIH houses an archive center and library whose stocks include the books salvaged from the libraries of the Templum Synagogue and the Institute of Judaistica, and the documents comprising the Ringelblum Archive. ZIH also has exhibition rooms where its collection of liturgical items and Jewish painting are on display, and an exhibition dedicated to the Warsaw ghetto. Initially the institute devoted its research activities solely to the Holocaust, but over the last dozen or so years it has broadened the scope of its historical and cultural work. In 1993 ZIH was brought under the auspices of the Polish Ministry of Culture and National Heritage. It publishes the Jewish Historical Institute Quarterly.
  • loading ...