Travel

Mark Derbaremdiker

Mark Derbaremdiker
Kiev
Ukraine
Interviewer: Ella Orlikova
Date of interview: May 2002

My family background
Growing up
During the war
Post-war
Married life
Glossary

My family background

I was born into a family that was in direct succession to Leivi-Itshak, the Berdichev tzaddik. The tzaddik's grave is still in Berdichev and is a place of pilgrimage for pilgrims from all over the world.

According to some data Leivi-Itshak was born in 1740. At first he was a rabbi in various Jewish communities. He lived in Berdichev as of the 1780s and was one of the famous Hasidism 1 priests. He treated common Jews with love and that has been vividly remembered in the Jewish communities up until now. Leivi-Itshak spoke Yiddish and said his prayers and addressed God in this language [God is addressed in Hebrew]. However, common Jews understood prayers in Yiddish better. His prayer Toyre tsu got in which he prayed to God to help his Jews is famous. There are also songs written by Leivi-Itshak, such as Meyerke, mayn zun [Meirerke my son - a lullaby in Yiddish].

The origin of my family name also dates back to him. In 1804, during the reign of Alexander I, the officials issued a decree to give last names to the Jews. When a clerk came to the house of Leivi-Itshak, the latter was saying his prayer shmoy yisrey [shma yisrael-] - Listen, Israel - and couldn't stop praying. But the clerk kept asking, 'Tell me the last name you want for yourself". When the prayer was over the tzaddik said in Yiddish, 'merakhemdiker got, vos vil fun mir?', which means, 'Merciful Lord, what does he want of me?' And the clerk said, 'What? Derbaremdiker?' and put it down in his roster. Leivi-Itshak had three sons and two daughters. Successors of his older son, Meyer, stayed in Berdichev and the rest of his family moved to other towns. I have no information about them. The tzaddik died in 1809. There have been no rabbis in our family since then.

Berdichev was a special town even within the restricted area of residence [see Jewish Pale of Settlement] 2. This town is mentioned in almost all jokes about Jews, and for obvious reasons. There was a very strong Jewish community in Berdichev. In 1897 the Jewish population was 57,000, which was about 90% of the population. Our people didn't only use the Yiddish language and culture, we lived in a Jewish cultural environment. The town's life was based on Yiddish. This language could be heard everywhere: at home, in the streets, and all street signs were in Yiddish, too. The rest of the population - Russian, Ukrainians and Poles - were bound to adjust to this way of life. They all spoke fluent Yiddish and could sing Jewish songs. All stores and shops were closed on Friday. On Saturday Ukrainian boys and girls came to the Jewish families to light kerosene lamps and serve at the table. On the eighth day after his birth a boy was to be circumcised. When a boy reached the age of four he was taken to cheder in his father's tallit and given into the care of a teacher - melamed - to study the alphabet, learn prayers and interpret the Torah.

On Saturday all men went to the synagogue. The most famous synagogue was Der berditsever ruvkloyz. Kloyz means synagogue. There was a very fancy old synagogue, Di alte filts. The town consisted of two parts - the old town and the new town. These two parts were very different. In the new town the buildings were high - two or three-storied. The local 'aristocrats' and people in administration lived there. The leaders of the community had their meetings in this part of town, too. The community was so strong that even during the Civil War 3 there were no pogroms 4 in town. Self- defense was well organized and strong: butchers with knives and blacksmiths with sledge-hammers came out and presented a real threat to the bandits. Presently there are very few Jews left in Berdichev. Most of them were exterminated during the Holocaust and the survivors moved to Israel, the USA or Germany.

I remember well my great-grandfather, my father's father, born in 1830. His name was Yoil Derbaremdiker and he lived in the old town. He was a small, thin old man with a thin red beard. He wore a black jacket and a big black hat. He always smiled exposing his toothless mouth while patting me and treated me to apples from his big garden. They said my great-grandfather was a merchant and a successful businessman. He was a very religious man. He strictly observed all Jewish traditions and rules. At the time I remember him he couldn't go to the synagogue any more, but he was constantly praying at home. He died at the age of 103 in 1933 when I was 13 years old.

My grandfather, my father's father, was born in 1859. He was a merchant as well, but not as successful as his father. He died of Spanish flu in 1919 before I was born. Thousands of people died during this epidemic. My grandfather's name was Mordko Derbaremdiker and I was named after him.

My father's mother - I don't remember her name - was born in 1869. She had seven children: Lazar, the oldest, was 11 and Zakhar, the youngest, was still a baby when their mother died of cholera in 1896 at the age of 27. My grandfather didn't remarry and some relatives helped him to raise his children. All children received Jewish education, studied at cheder and got professional education. My grandfather probably couldn't afford to give them any further education.

My grandparents' family was religious. They strictly observed all Jewish traditions. On Friday my grandmother lit candles and the family got together at the table, which was covered with a white table cloth. On Friday afternoon my grandmother made chicken broth in ceramic pots and cholent. Cholent was a dish made from beans, potatoes and meat. The pots were left in the oven and that way the food was kept warm until Saturday, when no work was allowed. The family strictly observed the kashrut. My grandmother had different dishes for dairy and meat products and the children were learning this tradition at an early age.

My grandparents went to the synagogue every week. My grandfather wore a kippah at home and a hat outside. My grandmother wore a shawl and long black gowns in all seasons. At Chanukkah they lit one candle a day in the chanukkiyah. My father also liked Chanukkah because children received some money - Chanukkah gelt. My father had the greatest memories of Pesach. The house was to be all clean and all children took part in the cleaning process. They swept and burned all garbage, even breadcrumbs and took the Pesach dishes down from the attic. There was a bakery that was managed by the synagogue and my grandparents brought matzah from there. The family was big and they usually bought several bags of it. Then my grandmother and her daughters began to cook stuffed fish, chicken broth with dumplings from matzah and stuffed chicken necks. My granny tried to make this holiday a remarkable event to remember.

Zlata, my father's older sister, born in 1883, lived in Berdichev and was a housewife. During the war she evacuated to Stalinabad [Dushanbe at present] with her children. She died in Berdichev in 1970. In the late 1970s her family emigrated to Israel. She had four children: two sons and two daughters. Abram, her younger son, is still alive. The rest of her children died in Israel.

Lazar, my father's older brother, was born in 1885. He was a shornik [leather cutter]. In the 1920s he moved to Leningrad with his family. All his children received higher education: Asia, born in 1912, an engineer, has already died. Abram, born in 1915, an economist, lives in Rostov-on- Don. Frieda, born in 1920, is an economist, and Haya, born in 1928, is a dentist. The two of them live in New York now. Lazar died in 1943 during the blockade of Leningrad 5.

My father's sister Hasia, born in 1890, died of some illness in Berdichev in 1911. His other sister Milka, born in 1892, died during the famine 6 in 1932 in an effort to save her four children from starving to death, and giving them every last piece of bread. Her two girls, Klara and Honia, were sent to an orphanage - her husband, who was a tinsmith couldn't provide for them, and her boy, Lyova, also disappeared at that time. Elka, the youngest girl, and her father perished in 1941 when the Germans occupied Berdichev.

Feiga, the youngest of my father's sisters, born in 1893, moved to Birobidzhan 7 with her family in 1932. Life was hard and miserable there. In 1942, when Zlata was in evacuation in Stalinabad, Feiga's family moved in with her. Her older son Grisha perished at the front and her second son Matvey, born in 1928, and her two daughters, Asia and Shyfra, left for Israel in 1989. Shyfra died there. Feiga died in Dushanbe in 1969. I correspond with all my relatives in Israel.

My father Levi-Itshak was named after his famous great-grandfather. He was born in 1887. Before the Russian Revolution [of 1917] 8 he worked as a clerk in a store. During World War I he served in the tsarist army as a private in Kiev. He learned to speak and write in Russian. After his retirement from the army he became a craftsman. After the Revolution my father changed many professions to provide for his family. I remember he was a soap-boiler at some stage. He worked in our kitchen where he had a big boiler to make soap. He bought beef fat and all necessary ingredients, mixed them together and boiled them for a long time stirring the mixture with sticks. Then he poured it into special forms. The whole family was involved in this process. Of course, it smelled awful but we got used to it.

In 1928 the NEP 9 came to an end and my father went to work at a shop. At one time he even was the manager of a shop, as he was more intelligent than the others. The Soviet power struggled against religion 10 and declared Saturday a working day. My father didn't like to argue. He went to work on Saturday but didn't do anything on this day. For the rest of his life my father was involved in soap and soda powder production. He was a kind, wise and considerate man. In the evening he used to read books and newspapers in Yiddish to the family. I still have newspaper cuttings from 1897-1898. They certainly have historical value. When the Jewish center opens in Kiev I will take them there. My mother was always my father's most passionate listener.

My mother came from the family of Kventsel - a very respected family in Berdichev. Her father Oizer Kventsel was born in 1860. He owned a kerosene store. Unfortunately, I never met my grandfather. He and his wife Entel died of Spanish flu in 1919. But I remember well my grandfather's brother Meyer. He was my first teacher of Yiddish. Meyer taught Yiddish to many boys in Berdichev. He died in the late 1930s. His daughter Eti lived in Moscow and also died a long time ago.

My mother's name was Perl. She was born in 1890 and received a good education at home like many other girls in Berdichev. She was taught to read and write in Yiddish, do the housekeeping and meet Saturday in accordance with all the rules: clean up the apartment, bake challah on Friday, light Saturday candles, be a faithful wife and cook Jewish food.

I don't know whether my mother had any brothers or sisters. My father and mother were introduced to one another in 1911. On some Jewish holiday their mothers met in the synagogue, discussed the issue with other relatives and arranged that they should meet each other. The young people liked each other and got married in 1912. They had a Jewish wedding with a chuppah, a bunch of relatives as guests, and there were merry songs and dances, freilakh.

My older brother Abram was born in 1913. He studied in cheder and then, after the Revolution, in a Ukrainian school for a few years. He studied for eight years and entered a Jewish technical school. He studied very well. Before the war he finished the physics and mathematics department of Berdichev Pedagogical Institute. Then he was recruited to the army and was on the front during the war. After the war Abram decided to change his profession and entered the Academy of Agriculture. He became a specialist in the field of electrification of the agricultural sector. He worked in Lvov for many years. In 1947 he married his co-student Fania, who is also a Jew, of course. In a year their son Eduard was born. They are a wonderful family. They emigrated to the USA and lived in New York now. Fania died in 1987. My brother is a pensioner and Eduard is a programmer.

My younger brother Yontoh, or Yan, followed them to New York in the 1990s. Yontoh was born in 1923. He finished school before the war and was recruited to the army. He served as a private at the front during the war. Thank God he survived and came back. He studied at the Kiev Institute of Light Industry and became a good footwear specialist. He lives in New York with his family now. His son Peter, born in 1956, became a businessman and his grandson Igor works in a bank. Both my brothers are active members of the Jewish community in New York; they live a Jewish life. They promote the Jewish culture and Yiddish. We write to each other and they often call me on the phone. We have been very close throughout our life.

Growing up

I was born in Berdichev on 9th July 1920. My Jewish name is Mordke-Oizer Leivi-Isaakovich. The leadership of the Jewish community issued my birth certificate in two languages: Yiddish and Hebrew. My date of birth is also given according to both the Jewish and the modern calendar. I was born a few days after the Red Army entered Berdichev and declared the Soviet power. The Civil War was over for Berdichev. My father told me that the Bolsheviks began shooting the ten richest Jews in town, not because they were Jews, but because they were rich.

The house where I was born was located in Kachanovka between the old and the new town on the hilly bank of the Gnilopiat River. However, I didn't live there long. It was damaged during the Civil War - when the town was occupied by the reds 11 and by the greens 12 many times in a row - and our family had to move to another house on the corner of Zolotoy Lane and Kachanovskaya Street. We lived in the apartment that previously belonged to Moiher Sforim Mendele 13, the famous Jewish writer. Later Zolotoy Lane was renamed Moiher Sforim Mendele Street.

The house was located at the bottom of the hill; therefore it had two floors, one from the street and one floor from the side of the yard. We lived on the second floor. We had two big rooms and a big kitchen, which also served as my father's shop. We had antique furniture in the rooms like carved wardrobes, etc. My parents had a big nickel-plated bed, which was their wedding gift. Mama baked bread every Monday and challot for Saturday on Thursday. This was a difficult time and Mama couldn't always afford to cook a festive Saturday dinner. Sometimes we just had potatoes and herring, but the kashrut was strictly followed anyway. Dishes for dairy products were on a separate shelf. Before Pesach Mama took special dishes out of a box and cleaned the apartment thoroughly. Mama only spoke Yiddish. When peasant women brought food products from the nearest villages Mama could hardly communicate with them in Ukrainian.

At the age of four I went to cheder like many other boys in Berdichev. I studied there until I reached the age of seven. There were about 20 of us in cheder. We were sitting at a long table and took turns to come to the teacher [rebbe] to read prayers. The rebbe was allowed to spank naughty boys or those that didn't read well. I can't remember being punished, so I suppose I behaved and studied well. The rebbe's name was Itsyk Galitskiy and he was an old man. His daughter was a nurse. During the intervals we played games in the hallway and in summer we played outside. My younger brother Yontoh also went to cheder.

In 1922 the authorities began an active campaign against religion - any religion was called obscurantism. It reached Berdichev several years after I had finished cheder. Our cheder was closed before my brother could finish it. At the age of seven I went to the Jewish secondary school. In 1922 the authorities decided to open schools for national minorities. Jews also were considered to belong to the national minority. There were five or six Jewish schools in Berdichev. My school was named Grinike Boymelakh - a green sapling. The teaching there was in Yiddish, but there were no special subjects related to Jewish history or traditions.

I remember my first teacher Fania Abramovna Rabinovich. She was a Jew. She taught us arithmetics and poems about Lenin in Yiddish. We all became pioneers, but I wasn't an activist. My father believed that one shouldn't live in conflict with the authorities, but at home we could have our own way of life, observing our rules and traditions. At school there were small groups of children that visited other children's homes to see how they celebrated Pesach or ate matzah and then condemned them at the meetings. But these 'inspectors' and those that were 'inspected' enjoyed eating all Jewish food! We had classes on Saturday, but we tried to leave pens and textbooks at home and therefore we didn't really do anything in class. We were like marans [Editor's note: Jews in medieval Spain that were forced into Christianity, but practiced Judaism in secret]. We were like this: we were pioneers at school, and at home we followed the rules of Judaism.

In 1933 I reached the age of 13 which means for a Jewish boy to come of age - the bar mitzvah. My parents hired a rebbe for me to review the Torah and the Talmud. I answered all questions, learned by heart articles from the Torah, passed my test in front of the rebbe and my relatives and became an adult. This was all kept secret. If somebody had found out my parents would have had a problem. They had a difficult life anyways. My father was looking for a job to provide for us. He traveled to small towns and took me along once in the summer of 1927. We went to Pogrebysche. My father was boiling soap there, too. We went there by train and then on a cart on the bridge across the Ros River. I woke up when we were halfway across the river and got very scared. This was my first trip ever. Later my father got a job at a shop. Mama also found a job at a shop, but she often took home work, as she had a sewing machine.

I remember well the early 1930s, the period of collectivization 14 and famine. We saw dead corpses in the streets. Many Jews in Berdichev were starving to death. We had charity lunches at school and it was a big joy to see a piece of cabbage in the soup that we got. The teachers were as hungry as their students. Many people moved to bigger towns that had better supplies. They sent parcels with bread or crusts from there. When the parcels were delivered the bread inside was already covered with mold but we ate it with pleasure. My father and older brother were working and we managed somehow. They received bread cards.

My parents still went to the synagogue. My father went there each Saturday and my mother went on holidays. At Yom Kippur everybody fasted. We, children, were allowed to have some food after 3pm. There was one synagogue in Kachanovka. There was one servant there, a humpback. I heard later that when Germans came they ruthlessly killed him at the threshold of the synagogue. All synagogues were closed [there were over 100 synagogues in Berdichev before 1920].

The former Choir Synagogue housed a Jewish club of polygraphic employees. It was called 'Epikoyres', which means 'heretic' - there could be no other name for this club. There was a library in this club. I remember the 'Cleaning up the Party' meeting in this library. [Editor's note: In 1930 the Communist Party decided to get rid of any doubtful members and there were many meetings held to condemn unfaithful members.] I remember one Jew had to report in front of his comrades. They asked him, 'Who is Stalin?', and he said, 'He is the chief of the Soviet power'. This was tragic and comic at the same time.

We subscribed to Jewish newspapers and magazines as long as it was possible. We also attended the literature club at the town library, led by Moshe Gelmont, a poet. There were teachers and editorial staff there and just amateurs of all ages. Vevik, Sholem Aleichem's 15 brother, also attended this club. He was a glove maker. He wrote and published a book called My brother Sholem Aleichem with the assistance of Gelmont. The Jewish regional newspaper published works by members of the club. A poem of mine in Yiddish was also published there. It was later translated into Ukrainian and published in the local newspaper.

Back then we all wrote, but this was in adolescence only, afterwards I didn't concern myself with this task. My friend Shmuel Aizenwarg was the most talented among us. He perished on a submarine in 1943. In 1985 his poems were published in 'Leaderkrantz', dedicated to the deceased Jewish poets. This book was published by the Moscow publishing house Soviet Writer. There were many books in Yiddish in our library, including translations of world classics: Shakespeare, Cervantes, Goethe, etc. I read Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky 16 and Les Miserables by Victor Hugo in Yiddish. I was very fond of literature but my parents understood that literature at that severe time was similar to politics and they tried to stay away from any politics.

My father recommended me to study to become an engineer. My Russian and Ukrainian was poor and I started learning these languages at 15. We had Pushkin 17 in Russian and Shevchenko 18 in Ukrainian. I learned their poems by heart and wrote them down. This helped a lot. I did well in mathematics, physics and chemistry. I studied a lot and finished the 9th and 10th grades in one year. I had to rush with my studies to start helping my father. In 1936 I arrived in Kiev and entered the chemistry department of the Institute of Leather Industry. I liked chemistry. My father was a soap-boiler, almost a chemist you could say. He could make other chemical materials like shoe polish, soda powder, etc. Almost all my co-students were Jews. There were probably three students that weren't Jewish. The director and dean were also Jews, and so were many lecturers. It was the same in many other educational institutions. It was because previously Jews hadn't been allowed to study [see five percent quota] 19.

In the 1920s we were the first to go to schools and then continue our studies. I was an excellent student; we all were trying to do our best. I became a Komsomol 20 member when I was a 2nd or 3rd-year student. However, during the war I lost my Komsomol membership card and never restored it. I also tried to avoid becoming a party member, not because of my political views but because I wasn't interested. I lived in a hostel on 32, Gorvits Street [Bolshaya Zhytomirskaya at present]. The building of our institute was under construction in Pechersk. We used to go to the construction site. We stated our studies there when we were in our second year. Chemical laboratories were on the first and second floors in the new building and our hostel was on the third and fourth. I lived there until 1939. Then we had to move to another hostel on Vladimirskaya hill, as our floors were to house some official institutions.

There were six of us in the room. They were all different people. One was Geifman, a Jew; his uncle worked for a Jewish newspaper. Two or three other tenants were Ukrainians. We were on friendly terms. We received scholarships but they didn't last long and we either starved or borrowed a glass of tea and some vegetable salad to survive until the next pay-day. My parents couldn't support me. When I visited them my mother gave me some food to take with me. She melted some butter and honey and mixed them together. I couldn't keep Jewish traditions. My mother cooked kosher food, but what we ate in our canteen wasn't kosher food. We had no choice. We never ate pork in my childhood, and, although I didn't follow the kashrut, I didn't eat pork. I remember the authorities were planning to close two synagogues in Podol 21, Kiev, before the war. They were collecting signatures among the students. They didn't get my signature. In Kiev I still read books in Yiddish and bought newspapers. There was a Jewish theater in Kiev before the war. I saw all the performances. I remember when the Moscow theater Goset [Jewish state theater] under the leadership of Mikhoels 22 was on tour. I am still under the impression of his acting - never again have I seen such a great King Lear!

During the war

I finished my studies at the institute in 1941. On 20th June I defended my thesis. I was about to receive my job assignment to the leather factory in Berdichev, but on 22nd June the Great Patriotic War 23 began. We heard explosions at night and we didn't understand what was happening. We went to Vladimirskaya hill and then down to Kreschatik [main street in Kiev] and we still didn't know anything until we heard the 12 o'clock announcement on the radio. I was aware that the situation had been alarming for some time. But we thought we were friends with Germany following the Molotov- Ribbentrop Pact 24 signed in 1939.

The situation in the city changed beyond recognition. Within a few days we were summoned to build defensive structures. Quite a few were recruited to the army right from the construction site. I wasn't taken to the army due to my poor sight. We worked at digging anti-tank ditches. We met young people escaping from Poland that told us about the Germans' attitude towards Jews. Nobody knew how the situation was going to develop. I don't think Germans realized what kind of public opinion their actions would result in. Therefore, Babi Yar 25 and the tragedy in Berdichev were the beginning of the tragedy they were heading to. Perhaps, the world might not have seen Auschwitz or the gas chambers if there had been a decisive reaction of the world community to the beginning of the war.

At the Institute I received a [mandatory] job assignment 26 to Kursk. This gave me the right to leave Kiev. My parents had left Berdichev on 6th July - one day before the German army arrived there. The families that were leaving put their luggage on a horse-drawn cart and walked to Mironovka station. They were trying to get on the train there, but it was so overcrowded that they only managed to push Mama in the train. My father and my younger brother stayed in Mironovka. I was still involved in the digging of those anti-tank ditches. Once we were woken up at night and somebody said, 'Run away from here, the Germans are approaching. Go to Kiev'. We went to Kiev on foot. I arrived at the hostel in the morning.

My father's younger brother and his family lived nearby, on Kostyolnaya Street. I decided to visit them and met with Mama. Her Russian was poor and she could hardly find their building. We lived with them for several weeks. Later my uncle and aunt evacuated to Dnepropetrovsk with the Opera Theater. I stayed with Mama. My father and brother joined us in a few days. We all went to the Botanical Garden [railroad ticket offices were located there] and saw people from all parts of Ukraine sitting around on benches and everywhere. We waited for a while when a truck arrived and somebody told us to board it if we wanted to get away. We got on the truck - my mother was still weak, as she had been ill for some time - and got a ride to the railway station where we got on a train, on an open platform, and the train left.

We were bombed many times and got off the train when it stopped. We reached Kupiansk and were trying to get to Kursk. But people weren't allowed to go to Kursk because there were already too many evacuated people there, so we got on a train again to move on. We got off at some place in Stalingrad region. It was a Kazak village. We were helping the locals with the harvest. They treated us all right. Nationality didn't matter. We were all in common trouble and facing a common danger. We were accommodated in a house. We slept on the floor. It was summer and hot, so sometimes we also slept outside. We didn't stay long in Stalingrad region.

My brother went to Stalingrad. He wanted to finish his second year at the institute. He was mobilized to the front from there. We knew we had to move farther to the East. Orsk nickel factory in Chkalov [today Orenburg] region employed people and we went there. Here is what happened at the railway station in Chkalov: An old man asked me, 'Who is a Jew here? Tell me, dear, who is a Jew here?' I replied, 'I am'. He said, 'It can't be. They say Jews have horns'. People in these areas had never seen Jews before the war, and there were all kinds of incredible rumors that made them be anti-Semitic.

We went to Kuibyshev [Samara at present] on a boat. We saw the Germans bombing the boats. One boat ahead of us sank, but we reached Kuibyshev and from there we traveled on to Orsk. I found out that there was a leather factory under construction there and I went to work there. We produced thick leather for special boots for the metallurgical industry and later we began with the production of sheepskin coats for army commanders.

We got a small room for the shop and plastered it. My father made a stove to heat this room. Orsk has continental climate - very cold in winter and hot in summer. The factory where I worked was about two kilometers from the city. I had to walk there when either the heat was oppressive or when it was exceedingly cold. There weren't many Jews in Orsk. Some of them were residents and some had been evacuated from other regions.

Within some time my father went to work at the soap-making factory. We were paid in cards for which we could receive bread. After a while our factory fused with the meat factory. They boiled bones in big bowls and we could have this broth. We planted potatoes around the factory to have some additional food to survive on.

When it was time for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur my parents got to know that there were Jews in Orsk and that one of them had a prayer house at his home. My mother and father went there, but I didn't. Somehow I didn't quite feel like going there. There were many Jewish refugees from Poland. I remember an artist from Lodz and a clock specialist with his daughters.

I heard about what was happening in Kiev and Berdichev in 1943. I read the article by Erenburg 27. By the way, I was a regular attendant of the town library where I read Eimikait - in Yiddish - the newspaper published in Moscow by the Jewish Anti-Fascist Committee 28. All members of this committee were shot by the Soviet authorities in 1940 for their true description of the genocide of fascists on the Jews and the indifference of the authorities. Although I worked 12-14 hours, I always found time to take an interest in the Jewish life. At 3am on 9th May 1945 [Victory Day] 29 we were at work at the factory when we heard that Germany signed the document about its unconditional surrender. Everybody was outside shouting, 'Victory!' My mother was crying. My older brother wrote to us saying that he had been in Berdichev. Some people lived in our house. I was told later that there were only few Jews left in Berdichev.

Post-war

I returned to Kiev in 1945 after I received a request to work and an invitation to continue my post-graduate studies. Professor Kotov, our former head of department, became the director of the Research Institute of the Leather Industry. He liked me a lot and sent me a request to accept a job offer at the institute that gave me an opportunity to return to Kiev.

My parents returned with me. I got a room in a hostel. My parents lived at my uncle's for a few days and then left for Berdichev. They didn't receive a warm welcome there and they didn't get their apartment back. The attitude towards Jews changed dramatically in Berdichev. They decided to leave it at that and moved to Kiev. We received some kind of a dwelling in the basement of a building. It was dark and damp there and my father and I did some renovations to make it a livable place. My parents lived there for many years. My mother died in 1952. She was ill for the last three months of her life - there was something wrong with her stomach or something. My mother and father went to the synagogue in Podol until their last days and tried to observe Jewish traditions, however hard it was in these conditions. In 1961 my father received an apartment in a new neighborhood in Kiev, Otradny, but he didn't stay there long. He wasn't feeling well and we took him to our place. He died in 1972.

My father always said to me, 'You live in this new difficult world. You were raised as a Jew and you went to cheder. Whatever happens in your life don't change your nationality'. And I never did. I followed what he told me. [Editor's note: At that time quite a few Jews were assimilating into communities by having a different nationality written in their passport or marrying someone of a different nationality, etc.] We heard that wives were giving away their Jewish husbands to the fascists. Once an officer - he was a Jew - returned from the front to find out that all his family members had been killed by the Germans. When he heard the word 'zhyd' [kike] in the street he shot somebody and he was sued and shot.

During my post-graduate course at Kiev Light Industry University, in 1947, I met my future wife. She was a student at the institute. Her name was Fira, Esphir Salimanovna Rabinovich. She was born into a respected Jewish family in 1923.

Her father Saliman Rabinovich came from a big assimilated Jewish family. He came to Kiev from Riga. He was a big china specialist and worked in famous china factories. He met his wife, Rosalia Ratmanskaya in 1911. He died of spotted fever in 1933. My wife didn't know Yiddish. Her father took her to the synagogue several times when she was a child. Fira worked at a hospital at the front. She was awarded the Order of the Great Patriotic War. Her grandmother and grandfather were killed in Babi Yar. Her grandmother's name was Lubov and her grandfather's Wolf Ratmanskiye.

After Fira and her mother returned to Kiev in 1944 they lived in the hospital for some time and then they received a room on Saksaganskogo Street - and that replaced their nice apartment in Pushkin Street that they had before the war.

Married life

We got married in 1948. We didn't have a wedding party, only a civil registration ceremony. Fira was a very nice, talented, intelligent and reserved Jewish woman, exactly the woman that my parents would have wanted me to marry.

Our daughter Sulamyth was born in 1950. She got her name from my wife's sister Sulamyth, who died of spotted fever when she was young. Our daughter finished school and worked as a masseur specialist for some time. But she hasn't worked for a long time, she is very ill and I don't want to talk about her disease. [The interviewee's daughter is mentally ill.]

It seemed at first that Jewish life was improving in Kiev. There was a Jewish theater in the beginning but it didn't stay here because the building in which it was housed was destroyed. The theater moved to Chernovtsy. The Jewish culture department at the Academy of Sciences was restored. Spivak, an outstanding scientist, was its director. I went to all open meetings arranged by this department. Once I went there on business. We had a relative in Berdichev, Frenkel. He was a cantor in synagogues and sang Jewish songs. This department of culture had a music section, headed by Beregovskiy. I took Frenkel to Beregovskiy. I don't know what their discussion resulted in as I had to go somewhere else. In 1948 I received the last issues of Der Shtern magazine. Its editor was Grigoriy Polianker, a Jewish writer. I even wanted to go to the post office to find out why they had stopped delivering it to me. But somebody told me to not even mention that I had ever received this magazine. I heard at that time that the authorities were arresting all Jewish writers. They arrested Polianker, too. The Department of Culture employees were also arrested. Spivak died in jail.

In 1953 Stalin died. I was naïve enough to think that Stalin hadn't known about what was going on in the country. I grieved a lot after him.

After I finished my post-graduate studies I waited for my job assignment. I found a job at the Institute of Communal Hygiene and they sent a request to have me there. But my institute refused to let me go and offered me a job. In less than two months I was fired due to staff reduction. They fired almost all Jews at once. In that other institute they also told me that the vacancy had been filled. I wrote to Moscow but in vain. I realized this was part of the anti-Semitism, which was at its height in the late 1940s.

My wife was finishing her course at the Institute. She was an excellent student but of course there were no good vacancies in store for her due to her typical Jewish surname - Rabinovich. She was sent to the rubber factory. I had no job. I wrote to different institutes, but I had no success. Then I found a job at the leather factory. They had a research institute there and I asked them to send me to work there, but they told me it was out of the question. I worked at the plant and became a rationalization engineer, chemical engineer and then I was promoted to head of a shop. Later I became head of the central laboratory and worked there until 1965. From then on and until 1996 I was a senior researcher and director of the laboratory.

In 1962 I received a small three-bedroom apartment on the outskirts of Kiev. It took my wife about two hours to get to work. Then she got a job at the institute of extra-solid materials, located in our neighborhood. She was successful at her new workplace and created many new materials and tools. She defended her thesis. We lived a good life. We had interesting jobs and many friends. We never celebrated Soviet holidays, but we got together at weekends and had parties. We celebrated birthdays and always tried to celebrate Jewish holidays, although my wife didn't know anything about traditions. But she learned to cook Jewish food and we fasted at Yom Kippur. However, we didn't go to the synagogue.

I've always been interested in Jewish literature. Between 1948 and 1961 nothing was published in Yiddish and I read the books that I had bought before 1948. Books about the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising 30 or about the Minsk ghetto were published before 1948. Yiddish authors were also published before 1948. In 1961 they began to issue the magazine Sovyetishe heymland in Yiddish. Of course, this magazine published the works that were praising the Communist Party. They allowed no stories about anti-Semitism.

I've never concealed my nationality or my interest in the Jewish culture. I've always treated people nicely and they were nice to me, too. Neither I nor members of my family faced any anti-Semitism in our day-to-day life. I always behaved in a manner that people respected my nationality. If I ever heard any statements related to this subject I talked back in such a way that people tried to avoid arguing with me.

Life has changed a lot in the recent 12-13 years. There is a young enthusiastic rabbi in Kiev - Rebbe Yankel. He brought the people interested in the Jewish culture together. A Jewish school was opened and Igor, the son of my brother Yankel, went there. We all began to go to the synagogue. I went on Saturdays and heard there about a group of people called 'Yidish gayst oyf Yidish' - 'Jewish spirit in Yiddish'. They got together for discussions. Rebbe Yankel held speeches several times. After I retired from work I started to go to the synagogue twice a day - in the morning and in the evening. I recalled everything that my parents had taught me. I am following the kashrut now. We also celebrate Jewish holidays. When Solomon University [Jewish University in Kiev, established in 1995] was opened I created a course in Yiddish for them. It doesn't exist any more now. I took part in all conferences of experts in Yiddish. Regretfully, there are fewer and fewer people that understand the language of Eastern European Jews, the language of Sholem Aleichem. The culture that gave the world great artists, musicians and scientists is about to disappear.

My brothers live in America. I was supposed to move there, too, but it happened so that we couldn't leave due to my wife's illness. She died in 1995. She had trombophlebitis and lymphostasis, but she was infected with an injection. It doesn't make sense to try and prove anything - she is gone. It's difficult to talk about it.

It's not possible to leave this country with my daughter because she is ill. There is a totally different culture in Israel and any efforts of Eastern European Jews to restore the Yiddish culture fail. I work and write articles in Yiddish and about the history of Jews from Berdichev.

I'm very interested in the life in Israel. Regretfully, I haven't had a chance to visit this country. The situation there gives me much concern. Why don't they leave the Jewish state alone? This terrorism is just awful. I think it's even worse than a war. At least one realizes during a war that one is in a war. I wish that everybody could live in peace, have no fear and be happy.

Glossary

1 Hasidism (Hasidic)

Jewish mystic movement founded in the 18th century that reacted against Talmudic learning and maintained that God's presence was in all of one's surroundings and that one should serve God in one's every deed and word. The movement provided spiritual hope and uplifted the common people. There were large branches of Hasidic movements and schools throughout Eastern Europe before World War II, each following the teachings of famous scholars and thinkers. Most had their own customs, rituals and life styles. Today there are substantial Hasidic communities in New York, London, Israel and Antwerp.

2 Jewish Pale of Settlement

Certain provinces in the Russian Empire were designated for permanent Jewish residence and the Jewish population was only allowed to live in these areas. The Pale was first established by a decree by Catherine II in 1791. The regulation was in force until the Russian Revolution of 1917, although the limits of the Pale were modified several times. The Pale stretched from the Baltic Sea to the Black Sea, and 94% of the total Jewish population of Russia, almost 5 million people, lived there. The overwhelming majority of the Jews lived in the towns and shtetls of the Pale. Certain privileged groups of Jews, such as certain merchants, university graduates and craftsmen working in certain branches, were granted to live outside the borders of the Pale of Settlement permanently.

3 Civil War (1918-1920)

The Civil War between the Reds (the Bolsheviks) and the Whites (the anti-Bolsheviks), which broke out in early 1918, ravaged Russia until 1920. The Whites represented all shades of anti- communist groups - Russian army units from World War I, led by anti- Bolshevik officers, by anti-Bolshevik volunteers and some Mensheviks and Social Revolutionaries. Several of their leaders favored setting up a military dictatorship, but few were outspoken tsarists. Atrocities were committed throughout the Civil War by both sides. The Civil War ended with Bolshevik military victory, thanks to the lack of cooperation among the various White commanders and to the reorganization of the Red forces after Trotsky became commissar for war. It was won, however, only at the price of immense sacrifice; by 1920 Russia was ruined and devastated. In 1920 industrial production was reduced to 14% and agriculture to 50% as compared to 1913.

4 Pogroms in Ukraine

In the 1920s there were many anti-Semitic gangs in Ukraine. They killed Jews and burnt their houses, they robbed their houses, raped women and killed children.

5 Blockade of Leningrad

On September 8, 1941 the Germans fully encircled Leningrad and its siege began. It lasted until January 27, 1944. The blockade meant incredible hardships and privations for the population of the town. Hundreds of thousands died from hunger, cold and diseases during the almost 900 days of the blockade.

6 Famine in Ukraine

In 1920 a deliberate famine was introduced in the Ukraine causing the death of millions of people. It was arranged in order to suppress those protesting peasants who did not want to join the collective farms. There was another dreadful deliberate famine in 1930-1934 in the Ukraine. The authorities took away the last food products from the peasants. People were dying in the streets, whole villages became deserted. The authorities arranged this specifically to suppress the rebellious peasants who did not want to accept Soviet power and join collective farms.

7 Birobidzhan

Formed in 1928 to give Soviet Jews a home territory and to increase settlement along the vulnerable borders of the Soviet Far East, the area was raised to the status of an autonomous region in 1934. Influenced by an effective propaganda campaign, and starvation in the east, 41,000 Soviet Jews relocated to the area between the late 1920s and early 1930s. But, by 1938 28,000 of them had fled the regions harsh conditions, There were Jewish schools and synagogues up until the 1940s, when there was a resurgence of religious repression after World War II. The Soviet government wanted the forced deportation of all Jews to Birobidzhan to be completed by the middle of the 1950s. But in 1953 Stalin died and the deportation was cancelled. Despite some remaining Yiddish influences - including a Yiddish newspaper - Jewish cultural activity in the region has declined enormously since Stalin's anti-cosmopolitanism campaigns and since the liberalization of Jewish emigration in the 1970s. Jews now make up less than 2% of the region's population.

8 Russian Revolution of 1917

Revolution in which the tsarist regime was overthrown in the Russian Empire and, under Lenin, was replaced by the Bolshevik rule. The two phases of the Revolution were: February Revolution, which came about due to food and fuel shortages during World War I, and during which the tsar abdicated and a provisional government took over. The second phase took place in the form of a coup led by Lenin in October/November (October Revolution) and saw the seizure of power by the Bolsheviks.

9 NEP

The so-called New Economic Policy of the Soviet authorities was launched by Lenin in 1921. It meant that private business was allowed on a small scale in order to save the country ruined by the Revolution of 1917 and the Russian Civil War. They allowed priority development of private capital and entrepreneurship. The NEP was gradually abandoned in the 1920s with the introduction of the planned economy.

10 Struggle against religion

The 1930s was a time of anti-religion struggle in the USSR. In those years it was not safe to go to synagogue or to church. Places of worship, statues of saints, etc. were removed; rabbis, Orthodox and Roman Catholic priests disappeared behind KGB walls.

11 Reds

Red (Soviet) Army supporting the Soviet authorities.

12 Greens

members of the gang headed by Ataman Zeleniy (his nickname means 'green' in Russian).

13 Mendele Moykher Sforim (1835-1917)

Hebrew and Yiddish writer. He was born in Belarus and studied at various yeshivot in Lithuania. Mendele wrote literary and social criticism, works of popular science in Hebrew, and Hebrew and Yiddish fiction. In his writings on social and literary problems Mendele showed lively interest in the education and public life of Jews in Russia. He was preoccupied by the question of the role of Hebrew literature in molding the Jewish community. This explains why he tried to teach the sciences to the mass of Jews and to aid the people in obtaining secular education in the spirit of the Haskalah (Hebrew enlightenment). He was instrumental in the founding of modern literary Yiddish and the new realism in Hebrew style, and left his mark on the two literatures thematically as well as stylistically.

14 Collectivization in the USSR

In the late 1920s - early 1930s private farms were liquidated and collective farms established by force on a mass scale in the USSR. Many peasants were arrested during this process. As a result of the collectivization, the number of farmers and the amount of agricultural production was greatly reduced and famine struck in the Ukraine, the Northern Caucasus, the Volga and other regions in 1932-33.

15 Sholem Aleichem (pen name of Shalom Rabinovich (1859-1916)

Yiddish author and humorist, a prolific writer of novels, stories, feuilletons, critical reviews, and poem in Yiddish, Hebrew and Russian. He also contributed regularly to Yiddish dailies and weeklies. In his writings he described the life of Jews in Russia, creating a gallery of bright characters. His creative work is an alloy of humor and lyricism, accurate psychological and details of everyday life. He founded a literary Yiddish annual called Di Yidishe Folksbibliotek (The Popular Jewish Library), with which he wanted to raise the despised Yiddish literature from its mean status and at the same time to fight authors of trash literature, who dragged Yiddish literature to the lowest popular level. The first volume was a turning point in the history of modern Yiddish literature. Sholem Aleichem died in New York in 1916. His popularity increased beyond the Yiddish-speaking public after his death. Some of his writings have been translated into most European languages and his plays and dramatic versions of his stories have been performed in many countries. The dramatic version of Tevye the Dairyman became an international hit as a musical (Fiddler on the Roof) in the 1960s.

16 Dostoevsky, Fyodor (1821-1881)

Russian novelist, journalist and short-story writer whose psychological penetration into the human soul had a profound influence on the 20th century novel. His novels anticipated many of the ideas of Nietzsche and Freud. Dostoevsky's novels contain many autobiographical elements, but ultimately they deal with moral and philosophical issues. He presented interacting characters with contrasting views or ideas about freedom of choice, socialism, atheisms, good and evil, happiness and so forth.

17 Pushkin, Alexandr (1799-1837)

Russian poet and prose writer, among the foremost figures in Russian literature. Pushkin established the modern poetic language of Russia, using Russian history for the basis of many of his works. His masterpiece is Eugene Onegin, a novel in verse about mutually rejected love. The work also contains witty and perceptive descriptions of Russian society of the period. Pushkin died in a duel.

18 Shevchenko T

G. (1814-1861): Ukrainian national poet and painter. His poems are an expression of love of the Ukraine, and sympathy with its people and their hard life. In his poetry Shevchenko stood up against the social and national oppression of his country. His painting initiated realism in Ukrainian art.

19 Five percent quota

In tsarist Russia the number of Jews in higher educational institutions could not exceed 5% of the total number of students.

20 Komsomol

Communist youth political organization created in 1918. The task of the Komsomol was to spread of the ideas of communism and involve the worker and peasant youth in building the Soviet Union. The Komsomol also aimed at giving a communist upbringing by involving the worker youth in the political struggle, supplemented by theoretical education. The Komsomol was more popular than the Communist Party because with its aim of education people could accept uninitiated young proletarians, whereas party members had to have at least a minimal political qualification.

21 Podol

The lower section of Kiev. It has always been viewed as the Jewish region of Kiev. In tsarist Russia Jews were only allowed to live in Podol, which was the poorest part of the city. Before World War II 90% of the Jews of Kiev lived there.

22 Mikhoels, Solomon (1890-1948) (born Vovsi)

Great Soviet actor, producer and pedagogue. He worked in the Moscow State Jewish Theater (and was its art director from 1929). He directed philosophical, vivid and monumental works. Mikhoels was murdered by order of the State Security Ministry

23 Great Patriotic War

On 22nd June 1941 at 5 o'clock in the morning Nazi Germany attacked the Soviet Union without declaring war. This was the beginning of the so-called Great Patriotic War. The German blitzkrieg, known as Operation Barbarossa, nearly succeeded in breaking the Soviet Union in the months that followed. Caught unprepared, the Soviet forces lost whole armies and vast quantities of equipment to the German onslaught in the first weeks of the war. By November 1941 the German army had seized the Ukrainian Republic, besieged Leningrad, the Soviet Union's second largest city, and threatened Moscow itself. The war ended for the Soviet Union on 9th May 1945.

24 Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact

Non-aggression pact between Germany and the Soviet Union, which became known under the name of Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact. Engaged in a border war with Japan in the Far East and fearing the German advance in the west, the Soviet government began secret negotiations for a non-aggression pact with Germany in 1939. In August 1939 it suddenly announced the conclusion of a Soviet-German agreement of friendship and non- aggression. The Pact contained a secret clause providing for the partition of Poland and for Soviet and German spheres of influence in Eastern Europe.

25 Babi Yar

Babi Yar is the site of the first mass shooting of Jews that was carried out openly by fascists. On 29th and 30th September 1941 33,771 Jews were shot there by a special SS unit and Ukrainian militia men. During the Nazi occupation of Kiev between 1941 and 1943 over a 100,000 people were killed in Babi Yar, most of whom were Jewish. The Germans tried in vain to efface the traces of the mass grave in August 1943 and the Soviet public learnt about mass murder after World War II.

26 Mandatory job assignment in the USSR

Graduates of higher educational institutions had to complete a mandatory 2-year job assignment issued by the institution from which they graduated. After finishing this assignment young people were allowed to get employment at their discretion in any town or organization.

27 Erenburg, Ilya Grigorievich (1891-1967)

Famous Russian Jewish novelist, poet and journalist who spent his early years in France. His first important novel, The Extraordinary Adventures of Julio Jurento (1922) is a satire on modern European civilization. His other novels include The Thaw (1955), a forthright piece about Stalin's régime which gave its name to the period of relaxation of censorship after Stalin's death.

28 Jewish Anti-Fascist Committee (JAC)

formed in Kuibyshev in April 1942, the organization was meant to serve the interests of Soviet foreign policy and the Soviet military through media propaganda, as well as through personal contacts with Jews abroad, especially in Britain and the United States. The chairman of the JAC was Solomon Mikhoels, a famous actor and director of the Moscow Yiddish State Theater. A year after its establishment, the JAC was moved to Moscow and became one of the most important centers of Jewish culture and Yiddish literature until the German occupation. The JAC broadcast pro-Soviet propaganda to foreign audiences several times a week, telling them of the absence of anti-Semitism and of the great anti-Nazi efforts being made by the Soviet military. In 1948, Mikhoels was assassinated by Stalin's secret agents, and, as part of a newly-launched official anti-Semitic campaign, the JAC was disbanded in November and most of its members arrested.

29 Victory Day in Russia (9th May)

National holiday to commemorate the defeat of Nazi Germany and the end of World War II and honor the Soviets who died in the war.

30 Warsaw Ghetto Uprising (or April Uprising)

On 19th April 1943 the Germans undertook their third deportation campaign to transport the last inhabitants of the ghetto, approximately 60,000 people, to labor camps. An armed resistance broke out in the ghetto, led by the Jewish Fighting Organization (ZOB) and the Jewish Military Union (ZZW) - all in all several hundred armed fighters. The Germans attacked with 2,000 men, tanks and artillery. The insurrectionists were on the attack for the first few days, and subsequently carried out their defense from bunkers and ruins, supported by the civilian population of the ghetto, who contributed with passive resistance. The Germans razed the Warsaw ghetto to the ground on 15th May 1943. Around 13,000 Jews perished in the Uprising, and around 50,000 were deported to Treblinka extermination camp. About 100 of the resistance fighters managed to escape from the ghetto via the sewers.

Michael Kotliar

Michael Kotliar
Chernovtsy
Ukraine
Interviewer: Ella Levitskaya
Date of interview: November 2002

Michael Kotliar is a man of medium height. He is very vivid and energetic, despite his age and poor sight. He is a volunteer at Hesed. He has eight elderly people to tend to. He visits them at home and provides all necessary assistance to them. In addition he does work at the Museum of Jewish History in Chernovtsy. He gave us an interview at the museum and was very proud to show us the things on display. He was one of the people who founded this museum. His other hobby is tourism and he knows every house in Chernovtsy.

Family background
Growing up
During the War
After the War
Glossary 

Family background

I know very little about my father's parents. My grandfather, Haim Kotliar, was born in Beltsy in the 1860s. My grandfather and my grandmother Riva died as a result of some epidemic in the 1910s. My father, David Kotliar, never told me anything about his childhood and his parents. Only once, when I insisted, did he say that he had a very hard childhood and didn't want to recall it. In general, he was a taciturn man. There were four children in the family. My father was born in 1901. I knew his older brother, Motl, born in 1895, and his sister, Sarah, born in 1898. There was a younger brother in the family, whose name I don't remember.

Beltsy was a Russian town. In 1918 it became part of Romania. Beltsy was a bigger town populated by Moldavians and Jews. There were also Romanians and Gypsies in town. Jews lived in the center and Moldavians on the outskirts. They were farmers and wine makers. Jews were craftsmen and merchants. There were several doctors and lawyers among the Jewish population. There were a few synagogues, cheders and a Jewish school. Besides, there were a few Romanian secondary schools, a lyceum and a grammar school. People of all nationalities got along well. There was no everyday or state anti-Semitism before World War II.

My father strictly observed all Jewish traditions even during the Soviet times. I believe he was born to a religious family. He and his brothers studied at cheder. They spoke Yiddish at home, but they also knew Russian and Moldavian. I don't know how my father and his brothers managed to live without their parents. When they grew old enough they learnt a trade . My father and Motl became tailors. Sarah was a seamstress. She was single. After World War II she worked at the garment factory in Chernovtsy. She died in 1982.

Motl had 15 children from several wives. His first wife died of some disease in the 1920s, something happened to his second wife in the 1940s, and he married again. He worked very hard to provide for his family. All his children moved to Israel in the late 1940s. Motl died in the 1970s.

My father's younger brother moved to Chernovtsy in the 1930s after he got married. He perished at the front in the 1940s. His family was in evacuation and survived. I remember his wife Nehama. She lived in Chernovtsy with her children after the evacuation. She was a baker. She raised and educated four children. She was a beautiful woman, but she didn't remarry. She was faithful to the memory of her deceased husband. In the 1970s Nehama, her three sons and one daughter moved to Israel. Nehama died there recently at the age of 95.

My mother's family lived in Orgeyev. It was a small Moldavian town located in the mountainous area of the Kodry River between Kishinev and Beltsy. Jews constituted the majority of the population. There were also Moldavians, Russians and Ukrainians. Jews lived in the central part of the town. There were rich and poor families among them. Jews were mainly craftsmen and merchants. Some of them owned stores and sold everyday goods. Orgeyev was a district town, it belonged to Russia before 1918 and then became part of Romania. It was a beautiful town embedded in gardens and vineries. The Moldavians were mainly wine-growers. They also grew vegetables and fruit. Monday was market day, and farmers from the surrounding villages brought their food products to sell them in Orgeyev. On other days of the week farmers from the outskirts of town brought their products to the market. They also kept cows and milkmen delivered dairy products to people's homes. There were several synagogues, a cheder and a Jewish school in Orgeyev. There were no conflicts between the different nationalities. There were no pogroms 1 in Orgeyev either.

My grandfather on my mother's side, Shoil Moshkoutzan, was a blacksmith. My grandmother's first name was Dvoira. They came from families with many children. Both of them were born in Orgeyev in the 1860s. I didn't know anybody from my grandfather's or my grandmother's family. My grandparents had 14 children: 13 daughters and a son. They were very poor. My grandfather worked hard, but he still didn't earn enough to feed his big family. He owned a forge and had an assistant. He had a lot of work to do for farmers. Whenever the landlord living nearby asked him to do work for him it was a festive event for the family. My grandfather fixed the landlord's carts or horseshoed the horses. The landlord paid him with money and food. This was the only time when the family had enough food, but it happened very rarely. They lived in a small shabby house. There were two rooms and a small kitchen. There were two or three fruit trees near the house.

The daughters got no education because my grandparents couldn't afford to hire a teacher to have them educated at home. Their only son studied at cheder. My mother was a very intelligent woman. I once asked her why she didn't study, and she said that her parents didn't even have enough money to buy notebooks. The girls had to work at the tobacco factory since the age of 10. It was hazardous work - they inhaled tobacco dust that was all around. They all developed consumption. Doctors recommended them to have better food, but it wasn't possible. There were days when the family only had mamaliga, a corn flour meal. Only 5 of the 14 children survived. The rest of them died before they turned 15. The survivors were Haika, born in 1892, Makhlia, born in 1900, my mother Eta, born in 1907, Entsa, born in 1909, and the only son, Haim, born in 1902.

My mother's parents were religious. They went to the synagogue on Saturdays and on Jewish holidays. The synagogue was near their house. Whatever miserable and little food they could afford on weekdays, my grandmother managed to save some money to make challah and gefilte fish on Sabbath to celebrate the holiday according to Jewish traditions. When my grandfather managed to make some extra money before holidays my grandmother also bought new clothes for the girls. They spoke Yiddish at home and Moldavian with their neighbors and farmers.

Makhlia was the most beautiful one of the sisters. She had two sons: Haim and Yasha. They were all shot by the fascists in Orgeyev on the first days of the Great Patriotic War 2.

Haika got married and lived in Beltsy with her family. She had two daughters. Her husband perished at the front in the 1940s. Haika and her daughters were in evacuation in the Ural. After the Great Patriotic War Haika returned to Beltsy. She was a seamstress like my mother. She also altered or fixed clothes. Haika died in the 1970s. She was a very nice and kind person. Her daughters live in Israel.

My mother's younger sister, Entsa, married a klezmer. He played trombone in an orchestra. The family didn't quite approve of this marriage. Jews believed that being a musician wasn't a reliable profession. But Entsa's husband was a born musician and very talented. He played at weddings and for rich people. He had occasional jobs. They had two very pretty daughters. Before the war Entsa and her family moved to Ivano-Frankovsk. During the Great Patriotic War they were in evacuation, and after the war they returned home. Entsa died in the late 1950s. Entsa's daughters emigrated in the early 1970s. One lives in the US and the other one in Israel.

My mother's brother Haim got married and moved to Beltsy. He was a shoemaker. His wife's name was Surah. They had a daughter called Polia. Haim perished at the front. Surah didn't remarry. Her daughter Polia lives in Israel now.

My mother's sisters and brother were religious and respected their ancestors' traditions. Haika and my mother liked making clothes. Perhaps, this saved their lives because they went to study sewing instead of working at the tobacco factory. My mother became an apprentice to a seamstress. The shop where she studied made bed sheets, shirts and underwear. My mother told me that the owner of the shop was very strict and made sure that her employees didn't get distracted from their work. My mother was a very beautiful girl and the owner treated her with more kindness that the others. She had a beautiful voice and the owner liked it when she sang during work. She knew many Jewish songs and liked to sing them.

My mother moved to Beltsy in 1924 because it was a bigger town and easier to find a job there. She got a job at a seamstress' shop and rented a room that she shared with other girls. My father was a skilled tailor by that time. His shop was near the place where my mother worked. My mother told me that she became Miss Romania twice at beauty contests. My father noticed and began to court her. They went to Orgeyev, my grandparents liked my father and they gave their consent to the wedding. They got married in 1927. They had a traditional Jewish wedding with a chuppah and klezmer musicians in Beltsy. My father earned well, and they could afford to have a big wedding party and invite all relatives to celebrate. After they got married he bought a big house in the main street in Beltsy. He quit his job and opened his own tailor's shop. The workshop in the biggest and lightest room in his house. There was an orchard and a flower garden near the house.

Growing up

My sister, Riva, was born in 1929, and my brother, Haim, followed in 1932. He was named after my grandfather on my father's side. I was born in 1934. In 1936 my mother's father Shoil died. My parents named their next son Shoil, born in 1938, after our deceased grandfather. All boys were circumcised according to Jewish tradition.

My grandmother Dvoira was grieving over her husband. She wore mourning clothes until the end of her life. It was hard for her to stay in the house, where everything reminded her of her husband, so she moved in with us. She was a short fat woman. She always wore a long black gown and a black shawl. She was very kind and caring. She stayed with us for almost four years until she moved to her younger daughter, Makhlia, in Orgeyev in 1940.

My parents were also religious. They observed all Jewish traditions and followed the kashrut. We spoke Yiddish at home. My father worked from morning to night. He wanted to provide well for his family and have a decent Sabbath and other Jewish holidays. I remember Sabbath in our family. My mother went to the market on early Friday morning. She bought fish and a chicken. I took the chicken to the shochet near our house. Then I took it back home, and my mother plucked it and prepared it for cooking. She followed all the rules. Then she made chicken broth. She also made gefilte fish and dough for challah. Challah was sold in Jewish bakeries, but my mother preferred to make her own. She put the pots with food into the oven to keep them warm for Saturday. On Saturdays it wasn't allowed to start a fire to heat the food.

My mother also made cholent in ceramic pots. In the evening the house smelled of freshly baked challah. My mother covered the table with a clean white tablecloth and put challah and wine on it. She covered her head with a white silk shawl, lit candles and said a prayer. Then my father said a prayer saying blessings to Holy Saturday, the food and the children. My mother sang Jewish songs and we joined in. On Sabbath my parents and children over 12 went to the synagogue. They had their own seats in the synagogue. Younger children stayed at home and a non-Jewish woman looked after them. When the family returned we all sat down for dinner.

Before Pesach my mother took special fancy dishes from the attic. All everyday dishes and utensils were taken to the attic. We cleaned the house, removed all breadcrumbs and burnt them in the stove. My mother and my older sister Riva started cooking in advance. My father used to buy a few flax bags of matzah before Pesach. There were quite a few dishes made from matzah: pancakes, pastries and puddings. My mother made chicken, gefilte fish and chicken necks stuffed with liver, onions and brown flour. She made potato, corn and matzah flour and egg puddings. She also made honey cakes, star of David shaped cookies that melted in the mouth and strudels with nuts, jam and raisins.

On the first day of Pesach [at the seder] there were bitter greeneries and salt water on the table. Greeneries were supposed to be dipped into the salt water to remember the bitterness of slavery and Jewish tears shed in Egypt. In the evening my father conducted the seder. We [children] also got a bit of special red wine made from slightly dried grapes that gave it a sweet and strong flavor. There was always an extra glass on the table for Elijah the Prophet. My mother said prayers in Hebrew. My younger brother and I asked my father traditional questions [the so-called four questions]. We learned them by heart in Hebrew and he explained their meaning to us. We hid a piece of matzah [afikoman] and my father had a gift for the one that found it after the meal.

My family fasted on Yom Kippur and before Rosh Hashanah. Children began to fast after they turned 5. My mother thought fasting would do a child no harm. We were only allowed to drink water. Before Yom Kippur we made the rounds of our neighbors' and acquaintance's houses to ask their forgiveness for whatever harm we had or hadn't done to them. We also asked forgiveness from our parents for being disobedient and from out playmates for fighting or arguing with them. On the next evening my parents went to the synagogue. They returned home placid and inspired. The family sat down for a festive dinner.

My father was rather strict with us, but my mother never raised her voice or treated us angrily, and we tried not to upset her. My older brother went to cheder when he turned 6 and began to work at the age of 9. He was a shoemaker apprentice. My sister had a teacher teaching her at home. Riva studied Yiddish and Hebrew. In 1940 Moldavia became a part of the USSR and neither my brother nor I studied at cheder. The Soviet authorities persecuted religion 3 and all religious institutions were closed.

I remember how people welcomed the Soviet tanks that came to the country at the end of June 1940. People believed that life was going to change for the better and that this power would give people freedom and equal rights. The illusions didn't last long. Soon arrests began. Wealthier people were sent to prison or into exile. My father managed to escape from being arrested, as he had no employees in his shop. My mother helped him in the shop whenever she had free time. The authorities confiscated my father's tailor's shop and he got a job at this shop. My mother was a housewife.

During the War

I was to begin my 1st grade at school in September 1941, but on 22nd June 1941 the Great Patriotic War began. The war came as a surprise. We knew that Europe was in war, but we were assured by the propaganda that Hitler wouldn't dare to attack the Soviet Union. German and Romanian armies occupied our town at night on 22nd June. On Sunday the sky darkened from bomber aircrafts flying over the town dropping bombs on the houses, streets and people. The planes were flying low and the bombers shot at people with automatic guns. My father grabbed our younger brother and shouted to us to run into the garden immediately. When we ran into the garden we saw a bomb hitting our house. We lost everything we had. We were hiding in the bushes until the bombers left. My father said that we had to go to the Dnestr River and try to cross it. We ran along the ruined streets. There were people lying or sitting in blood puddles. I can still remember the sickening smell of blood. There were crowds of people on the bank of the Dnestr River. We crossed the river on a boat and my father took us to the railway station.

My parents, my two brothers, my sister an me got on a train. They were only freight railcars for the transportation of cattle but it didn't matter at that time. We were running away from the Germans. The train was bombed several times on the way. It stopped and we got off to hide. We had no food, clothing or documents with us. Whenever the train stopped at a station and there was another train with soldiers going to the front we got some of their food - soup or cereals - that they shared with us. We came to a village in Stalingrad region [500 km from Beltsy]. Evacuated people got accommodation in the houses of the villagers. We were all involved in harvesting. Younger children were picking spikelets falling from a combine harvester. Then the Germans were approaching Stalingrad, and we got on our way again. We arrived at Fergana lowlands in Uzbekistan after covering a distance of 2,000 kilometers from Stalingrad. We were sent to a kishlak [Uzbek for a village] in the mountains in Middle Asia. It was a small village with very few houses. We were accommodated in a mud house with two rooms and a small kitchen with a stove. The Uzbeks treated us kindly. They sympathized with us and tried to help.

My father was recruited to the labor army. Due to his age he wasn't subject to recruitment to the army. He worked at the construction of channels in Uzbekistan throughout the four years of the war. They lived in barracks 10 kilometers outside the village with no comforts whatsoever, but they had sufficient food and clothing. My mother and I stayed in a mud hut. My father came to see us for a few hours once a week. My mother worked at the collective farm. She got flour for her work. We all worked except for my younger brother. I was 7 years old at that time. I was to shepherd sheep. I got a donkey and a stick sharpened at one end. I rode my donkey watching that the sheep stayed together. We were given some food for our work.

In autumn we were to go to school, but we had no documents. In order to obtain them we had to go to the district town. My mother wasn't allowed to leave work for even a single day. The chairman of the collective farm took the four of us onto a road and showed us in what direction we had to move to get to the district town. My older sister was 12 and my younger brother was 3 at the time. We got to the town in the evening and stayed in a local house overnight. In the morning we went to the registry office. There was an Uzbek man there who didn't understand a word of Russian. My sister knew a few words in Uzbek. She explained to him what we needed. She didn't remember the dates of our birth, though. He took it easy and issued four birth certificates. He wrote them in Russian and in Uzbek. He put our birthday as 20th September, the day when we came to see him, and we got on our way back.

My sister and brother went to school while I fell ill with typhoid. I stayed in hospital for almost half a year. When I recovered I had to work to help my mother. I worked for three years shepherding sheep, helped them with the harvesting and did manual work. In April 1944 we heard that Beltsy had been liberated by the Soviet army and returned home. I was 10 years old, but I went to the 1st grade of the Russian secondary school for boys. However, more than half of my classmates had also missed school during the war.

After the War

We didn't have a place to live. More than half of the houses in the town were ruined. We were accommodated in a small room in a barrack near a military unit. My father couldn't get a job in 1945 and decided that we need to move to Chernovtsy. People said there were many vacant apartments there, and the town was almost intact. We rented a horse-driven cab and reached Chernovtsy within a few hours. We liked the town. It was big and beautiful and Yiddish could be heard all around. There was a synagogue and the majority of the population was Jewish. At the beginning we rented a room in the basement of a house in an old Jewish neighborhood. This was the area of the former Jewish ghetto and the owner of the house lived there during the war. This old lady spoke Yiddish and Romanian. It was a cold and damp room with no running water, heating or toilet. My mother cooked on a primus stove. She stayed at home. My father found a job in a garment shop. The money he earned was just enough to live on bread and water. We were always hungry, but we had known worse times during the war and didn't pay much attention to the hardships of postwar life.

My sister attended a typing and stenography course and got a job as a typist. My older brother went to work at a shoemaker's shop. My younger brother and I went to school. We got a room in a common apartment. There were six of us living in it until my sister got married. Her husband, Naum Shnaider, moved in with us and they had two children. Nine of us lived in this room for over 20 years. Riva's husband worked as a mechanic at the textile association Voskhod. My sister studied by correspondence at the Faculty of Mathematics of the Pedagogical University. Upon graduation she worked as a teacher.

I became a Young Octobrist 4 and then a pioneer. I was very proud of wearing a red necktie and took an active part in public activities. The majority of my classmates were Jews. There were also quite a few Jewish teachers, so we didn't face any anti-Semitism at school. The period of the campaign against cosmopolitans 5 in 1948 didn't affect me.

I liked literature, history and geography at school. As for mathematics and physics - I wasn't really fond of these subjects and never got the highest grades. My sight became worse due to the hard life during and after the war.

I finished the 6th grade in 1950 when I turned 16 and could no longer stay at school. My older brother was a shoemaker and my father was a tailor, but they couldn't provide well for the family. Life was pretty expensive after the war. A loaf of bread cost almost half of my brother's monthly salary. I went to the 7th grade of an evening school and worked as a shoemaker during the day. Most of the shoemakers in Chernovtsy were Jews. I didn't really like this work. It was hard work, and I didn't feel like fixing other people's worn shoes for the rest of my life. I joined a crew of electricians at the Selenergo association. I was an apprentice there. We were responsible for power supply to the surrounding villages. Our crew leader was an older Jewish man. He treated me kindly and taught me everything he knew. Later he went to work at the motor plant and I was appointed crew leader.

At that time, in the 1950s, I became a Komsomol member 6. I was eager to join the Komsomol league to be among the architects of communism. I became a skilled electrician. But this work was associated with business trips and thus interfered with my studies. I quit the job. A Jew, whose last name was Kantor, offered me a job at the textile factory. He worked as an electrician there. He needed a co-employee to work in shifts. I worked night shifts, but I stayed at work during the day, too, in order to learn from Kantor. The factory was receiving German equipment with automatic control, and I had to learn from Kantor how to repair it. In the evening I went to school. I had a good teacher of mathematics, a Jew, and became fond of mathematics. My sight was getting poorer and poorer, and I could hardly see the blackboard in the classroom. I asked the teacher of mathematics to dictate what he was writing on the blackboard and I knew the solutions before he even finished writing.

I was told that I could have a cornea replacement surgery in Moscow. I went to the ophthalmology institute in Moscow. I had a surgery, but my sight didn't improve. The professor who operated on me said that if I had addressed them earlier they would have been able to help me, but that at that time it was already too late. I returned to Chernovtsy and got a job at the knitwear factory. The majority of employees at the knitwear factory were Jews. I didn't face any anti-Semitism there. I was a good employee. I also went to the school of tourist instructors. Bukovina is a very picturesque area, and I enjoyed guiding tours to blooming valleys and snow- covered mountains.

One day I was invited by the secretary of the party unit. He offered me to become a member of the party. It was my dream so I agreed. I believed in the ideas of communism. Lenin and Stalin were my idols. I entered the Evening University of Marxism-Leninism. I graduated from three faculties: philosophy, Marxism-Leninism and esthetics. I was very fond of reading classic works of Marxism-Leninism and believed in the bright and happy future of mankind. Religion was a vestige of the past for me. Upon graduation from the University of Marxism-Leninism I first became deputy secretary of the party unit of the factory and then secretary. I was involved in public activities arranging socialist competition between crews at the plant, performed our obligatory scope of work and surpassed our plans. On Soviet holidays we marched at parades carrying red flags and banners with communist slogans. I was well respected at work and there was no anti-Semitism.

I remember Stalin's death in March 1953. I was working at the factory when I heard the announcement on the radio about Stalin. People were crying and feeling lost. All of a sudden we heard the sound of sirens on the building of the factory. I was in grief and so were many other people. Nobody was hiding his tears. We felt like our life was over and we didn't know what was going to happen to us.

When Khrushchev 7 spoke at the Twentieth Party Congress 8 and denounced Stalin's crimes many of my friends, Jews, refused to believe it. Even an acquaintance of mine who had spent 20 years in the Gulag 9 thought that it was a lie. However, I believed what Khrushchev said and thought it was necessary to tell people about Stalin's crimes. I still believed in the ideals of communism and was an active member of the Communist Party: I attended meetings and spoke at the meetings, but I began to understand that there were different people among communists, some of whom were far from decent.

My parents continued observing all Jewish traditions after the war. It was a rule of life for them. They always celebrated Pesach. I respected their way of life. Although I was a Komsomol and a party member I joined them for the celebration of Pesach and other Jewish holidays. I didn't see any contradiction between my new outlooks and my respectful attitude towards family traditions. I didn't join them for prayers as I was a convinced communist, but I enjoyed the festive dinner on Sabbath. On Saturdays and Jewish holidays my parents went to the synagogue. They had their own seats in the synagogue. My father always made a contribution to the synagogue. He was a respectable member of the community.

My mother had special fancy dishes for Pesach that she kept in a box during the year. She also bought a live chicken that she took to the shochet who worked from home. All religious Jews knew his address. He was an old man and not afraid of any discontent from the Soviet authorities in case they found out that he did this job. My mother made chicken broth, gefilte fish, honey cakes and strudels for Pesach. My parents always had matzah on Pesach. Their four children and their families came to visit them on Pesach, and they were happy to have a family reunion. At Chanukkah my father gave all children Chanukkah gelt. When I think of my parents I understand how Jewish traditions and rituals have been preserved throughout centuries. I'm often reproached for not knowing prayers when my parents were so deeply religious. I reply that at that time my faith was Marxism- Leninism. I had different values back then. I feel so sorry now that I didn't learn more about Jewish traditions and rituals from my father, but I was a communist and believed in the ideals of communism. That's my only excuse.

I was eager to continue my studies. In 1966 I decided to try and enter the Faculty of Geography at Chernovtsy University. I was a tourist instructor, a party member and an udarnik [advanced employee] of communist labor - these were my advantages to help me enter a higher educational institution. I couldn't prepare for the entrance exams at my parents' home with nine tenants around. My mother's acquaintance, who lived alone, offered me to stay with her. I recapitulated all school textbooks, beginning from the 5th grade, and passed my entrance exams successfully. I was the only Jew that entered this faculty. I didn't have any influential friends. I guess my knowledge, work experience and party membership played a part for being admitted. In total two Jews were admitted to the university that year.

I was successful with my studies and received the highest grades in all subjects. I was a senior student in my group for five years. I didn't face any anti-Semitism until it came to defending my diploma thesis. Representatives of the Ministry of Education in Kiev came to attend the event. They liked my thesis, which was about the development of natural deposits in Western Ukraine, but still I only received a 'good' mark for it. Later my tutor told me confidentially that the commission wanted to give me an 'excellent', but representative of the Ministry said that it wouldn't be politically correct. I was hurt but decided to ignore it. I was happy about getting an education and didn't feel like wasting time by trying to argue with the commission.

I got married in 1969 when I was a student. My wife, Polina Trachtenberg, was born in Mogilyov-Podoskiy, Vinnitsa region, in 1931. Her parents were assimilated Soviet Jews. Polina doesn't know Yiddish or any Jewish traditions. Her mother was a housewife, and her father was a wine-merchant. After the war the family moved to Chernovtsy. Polina is a poor housewife because her mother didn't teach her how to do things around the house. Her mother wanted Polina to get a higher education. Polina graduated from the Faculty of History of Chernovtsy University and worked as a history teacher at a Russian secondary school. Polina's father died in 1960 and her mother in 1972.

We didn't have a traditional Jewish wedding. I was a communist and didn't want to have a chuppah. I didn't want to hide things from my comrades. My wife didn't want a religious wedding either. We had a civil ceremony and a wedding dinner with members of the family. My father was angry that we didn't have a chuppah and didn't attend the wedding. My mother came to the wedding, but my father didn't even congratulate me. He never came to visit us. When my wife and I went to visit my parents my father didn't say a word of reproach, but he never came to see us in our house. My son, Jacob, was born in 1970. He wasn't circumcised and doesn't know a word of Yiddish.

I was offered a job assignment in the Novosibirsk Observatory upon my graduation in 1962. It was an interesting offer, but I had to refuse. I was already married. My son was one year old, and my wife was ill; she had a heart problem. I found a job as a methodologist at a tourist station. I worked there for more than ten years. I was awarded diplomas of honor, and my tourist teams were among the best ones in Ukraine and the USSR. I was very fond of this work.

Later I was asked to accept the job of a tutor in a club for teenagers. When I came to the building on the outskirts of town I found it damaged, dirty and abandoned. There were different children in this club: children from well-off families and teenagers with problems. There were even teenagers who were registered in the militia for their conduct. We repaired and fixed the building, and the children got involved in various activities. We had different sections: a chess club, a tourist section and even a motor club. The children changed for the better and developed many interests. We got broken cars that we fixed and taught the children to drive. Many of the teenagers became good drivers when they grew up. We had wrestling and boxing sections and a dance club. I found enthusiasts that agreed to work with the children at no cost. The children, their parents and my management respected me. I retired after 22 years of work.

Polina hasn't changed. She is a typical Soviet person. She took no interest in Jewish traditions or anything around her. All she cared about was herself and her health condition. Our son takes after her. He didn't want to continue his education after finishing school. Jacob works as a locksmith at a plant and watches football matches on TV - that's all he likes. He was married for a short time and has a son. His wife divorced him. He doesn't even feel an urge to communicate with his son. He believes that giving his son some money is sufficient. Jacob has no future. I felt very sorry for him until I realized that I wouldn't be able to change his life.

When Jews began to move to Israel in the 1970s I sincerely believed them to be traitors. I couldn't understand what they were driven by, but when I attended meetings where those people were condemned and humiliated I changed my attitude. People shouted 'Traitors' at them at such meetings, especially when party members were leaving. They were fired if it became known that they were planning to move to Israel. The district party committee suggested that I made a speech to condemn the ones that were leaving, but I refused. Many of those people were my friends, and I couldn't throw mud at them. Later I was responsible for visiting those people that had submitted their documents to obtain a permit to move. I was supposed to convince them to change their mind. I talked with them and understood that every person has the right to choose his own country of living and way of life, and that there's only one place where people can be forced to stay, and that is a prison. My family didn't plan to move. My parents wished they could go, but they couldn't move themselves because they were old and ill. I was going to stay. I would like to visit Israel and I hope that one day I will go there.

My sister Riva's son graduated from a physics and mathematics school. Due to his Jewish nationality he couldn't enter Chernovtsy University. He went to Kazan, the capital of the Tatar Autonomous Republic, where he entered university. Upon graduation he became a post-graduate student and defended a candidate, and later, his doctor of science thesis. He went to the US to read lectures twice and then got a job offer in America. He moved there with his family. Riva, her husband and her daughter moved to the US in the 1980s. She wanted her daughter to have a good life. Her husband needed a heart surgery. He was operated in the US and they have a good life there. They are pensioners, and their daughter got married and has a job.

Shulamit, the daughter of my younger brother Shoil, and her husband moved to the US, too, at the end of the 1980s. Shoil and his son, Boris, followed them some time later. He was chief engineer at a design institute here, but he didn't find a job in the US because he was already over 50 years old when he moved there. He lives an isolated life.

My older brother Haim lives in Chernovtsy. He's a weird man and very rough with his family and relatives. His two sons had to go to work when they were young children. They moved to Israel with their mother at the end of the 1980s. Later one of them moved to Canada. He's a driver. The other one was a boxer and a champion of the region. In Israel he became heavyweight champion of the country and later opened a sport school. Haim stayed in Chernovtsy. He didn't want to go with his family. He's a highly skilled professional. He's a pensioner now but often asked to do some work as an electrician.

My father died in 1984. He was a very hardworking man and worked until the end of his life. My mother buried him in the Jewish cemetery. My mother died in 1994 after the collapse of the USSR. I buried her according to Jewish traditions. Her grave is near my father's grave. I come to the cemetery to recite the Kaddish, the mourning prayer, on the anniversary of their death. Then I go to the synagogue. I terminated my membership in the party when I turned to the Jewish way of life in the 1980s.

When Ukraine gained independence in 1991 Jewish life revived. There are Jewish organizations, and Jewish culture has returned to our life. I began to take an interest in our roots in the 1980s after my parents died. I recalled prayers, holidays and traditions. At that period I wasn't interested in any party activities any longer. In the 1980s there were many TV programs and publications about various aspects of life in the country. We also got an opportunity to read about life in developed Western countries. We realized how much misery there was in our country. I knew that in a country, where the life of a human being belonged to the state and where industries and land didn't have owners to take care of them, there could be no order or improvements. I got disappointed in communist ideals.

I recalled many things from my life before the war and decided to help people to restore Jewish traditions and culture. I became a volunteer with Hesed and am grateful that I can be of use to other people. However, there are things that I don't like. I think, Jews have been spoiled. Before the Soviet power there was a Jewish community in Chernovtsy that took care of poor and ill Jews, but people still worked hard and tried to support the community rather than waiting for help from the outside. Now, I believe, Jews are turning into parasites waiting for Jews in foreign countries to provide for them. Many of those that proudly call themselves Jews have very distant Jewish roots and would have never revealed the fact that their grandmother was a Jew before.

Beginning from school years Jewish children are raised to become spongers: they get free tours, clothing and meals. Jews have survived throughout their history learning to be smarter and more intelligent than others. This helped our nation to develop. As for now there are only few people that want to work for their future. The rest of them are idle and wait to be given what they need. I don't think that such hothouse conditions will do us any good. I think the nation is degrading which is worse than persecutions. One cannot always take without giving.

From the beginning of perestroika I was dreaming about a museum of Jewish history. I saw how people were throwing away their photographs, books and documents before leaving for Israel and other countries. I collected all I could find, sorted things out and kept them. As soon as the Association of Jewish Culture was founded I offered to establish a museum about the Jewish history of Chernovtsy.

I studied museum business and transferred my whole collection to the museum. We also asked people to give their historical belongings to the museum. Within half a year we finished and displayed our collection. There was an opening ceremony where I was referred to as the author of the idea and founder of the museum. We tell people about Jewish life in Chernovtsy before 1940, how many synagogues were in town, Jewish everyday life, their traditions and religion and about the peaceful coexistence with people of other nationalities. We have ancient Torah scrolls , prayer books , tallits, chanukkiyahs, other Jewish ritual accessories and old family pictures that were miraculously saved during the Great Patriotic War. What's most important to me is that there is a museum and that I can continue my work.

I am also fond of tourism. I work as a part-time guide at a tourist agency. I do guided tours for foreigners. Chernovtsy is a very beautiful town. The Jewish neighborhood in the center of the town has preserved its original looks. I know every house in Chernovtsy, its history, architect and all its former owners. The museum and tourism are the two things I'll have for the rest of my life.

Glossary

1 Pogroms in Ukraine

In the 1920s there were many anti-Semitic gangs in Ukraine. They killed Jews and burnt their houses, they robbed their houses, raped women and killed children.

2 Great Patriotic War

On 22nd June 1941 at 5 o'clock in the morning Nazi Germany attacked the Soviet Union without declaring war. This was the beginning of the so-called Great Patriotic War.

3 Struggle against religion

The 1930s was a time of anti-religion struggle in the USSR. In those years it was not safe to go to synagogue or to church. Places of worship, statues of saints, etc. were removed; rabbis, Orthodox and Roman Catholic priests disappeared behind KGB walls.

4 Young Octobrist

In Russian Oktyabrenok, or 'pre-pioneer', designates Soviet children of seven years or over preparing for entry into the pioneer organization.

5 Campaign against 'cosmopolitans'

The campaign against 'cosmopolitans', i.e. Jews, was initiated in articles in the central organs of the Communist Party in 1949. The campaign was directed primarily at the Jewish intelligentsia and it was the first public attack on Soviet Jews as Jews. 'Cosmopolitans' writers were accused of hating the Russian people, of supporting Zionism, etc. Many Yiddish writers as well as the leaders of the Jewish Anti-Fascist Committee were arrested in November 1948 on charges that they maintained ties with Zionism and with American 'imperialism'. They were executed secretly in 1952. The antisemitic Doctors' Plot was launched in January 1953. A wave of anti-Semitism spread through the USSR. Jews were removed from their positions, and rumors of an imminent mass deportation of Jews to the eastern part of the USSR began to spread. Stalin's death in March 1953 put an end to the campaign against 'cosmopolitans'.

6 Komsomol

Communist youth political organization created in 1918. The task of the Komsomol was to spread of the ideas of communism and involve the worker and peasant youth in building the Soviet Union. The Komsomol also aimed at giving a communist upbringing by involving the worker youth in the political struggle, supplemented by theoretical education. The Komsomol was more popular than the Communist Party because with its aim of education people could accept uninitiated young proletarians, whereas party members had to have at least a minimal political qualification.

7 Khrushchev, Nikita (1894-1971)

Soviet communist leader. After Stalin's death in 1953, he became first secretary of the Central Committee, in effect the head of the Communist Party of the USSR. In 1956, during the 20th Party Congress, Khrushchev took an unprecedented step and denounced Stalin and his methods. He was deposed as premier and party head in October 1964. In 1966 he was dropped from the Party's Central Committee.

8 Twentieth Party Congress

At the Twentieth Congress of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union in 1956 Khrushchev publicly debunked the cult of Stalin and lifted the veil of secrecy from what had happened in the USSR during Stalin's leadership.

9 Gulag

The Soviet system of forced labor camps in the remote regions of Siberia and the Far North, which was first established in 1919. However, it was not until the early 1930s that there was a significant number of inmates in the camps. By 1934 the Gulag, or the Main Directorate for Corrective Labor Camps, then under the Cheka's successor organization the NKVD, had several million inmates. The prisoners included murderers, thieves, and other common criminals, along with political and religious dissenters. The Gulag camps made significant contributions to the Soviet economy during the rule of Stalin. Conditions in the camps were extremely harsh. After Stalin died in 1953, the population of the camps was reduced significantly, and conditions for the inmates improved somewhat.

Bernard Knezo Schönbrun

Bernard Knezo Schönbrun
Bratislava
Slovakia
Interviewer: Martin Korcok
Date of interview: November 2005 – March 2006

Mr. Bernard Knezo Schönbrun was born into an Orthodox Jewish family 1 in Eastern Slovakia. He grew up in very modest living conditions. Modest conditions and sports activities, in which he excelled among his contemporaries, induced him to join the leftist-oriented Jewish youth in Michalovce. The war years and the tragedy that befell Jewry only served to entrench him in his leftist views. Unfortunately, he became inconvenient for the totalitarian system that came to power in the post-war period. Despite his education, he was stripped of his position and was assigned to manufacturing. Of course, Mr. Knezo’s family, which he loves above all else, helped him overcome all trials and tribulations that life brought him. During his life he always steered himself by the philosophy with which he also guided his family: ‘You always have to help people, because sooner or later it will return!’ I can’t but take this opportunity to mention that it was an honor for me to meet such modest people, with such big hearts, as are Mr. Bernard Knezo Schönbrun and his wife, Anna.

Family background
Growing up
At school
During the War
After the War
Glossary:

Family background

My father was named Moric [Moritz] Schönbrun, Jewish name Mojshe. He came from Subcarpathian Ruthenia 2. He was born in 1876, but I don’t remember the exact place. In 1929 he got pneumonia and was in a hospital in Kosice, where he also died. They buried him in one of the local Jewish cemeteries. My mother was named Mina, nee Fuchs. She was born in Eastern Slovakia, in the town of Pozdisovce, in 1883. She died during transport to Auschwitz, if you can say that she died. On the way there they trampled her to death in the wagon.

I don’t know my family from my father’s side at all, and neither did I ever find out anything about them. Neither do we know the names of my grandparents on my mother’s side. All I know is that they were very poor people. They had ten daughters and they all lived together in one room in Pozdisovce. I of course don’t remember the names of all ten girls. I remember only one of my mother’s sisters, we called her Ilonka neni [Auntie Ilonka]. From the time I was ten, I lived in Auntie Ilonka’s family in Michalovce.

As I’ve mentioned, my father was from Ruthenia. How did he get to the territory of today’s Slovakia? After World War I, the population started moving around. People went where they’d be better off. The living conditions in Ruthenia were worse than in Eastern Slovakia, and so my father moved here. After World War I there were 18 Jewish families living in the village of Inacovce, in the Michalovce region, where he settled. Mainly poor people of course, like tailors, shoemakers and also cleaners. But the number of Jewish families in Inacovce slowly decreased. Right before World War II, there were already only three Jewish families living in the village 3. It was apparently because poverty drove people towards a better life, westward.

In my mother’s native village, Pozdisovce, there were more Jewish families, that I know for sure. In the regional town itself, in Michalovce, there were in those days about 12,000 inhabitants, of those about 4,000 Jews. On Friday evening, when the stores closed, the whole town emptied and was empty on Saturday too. The Jewish population was at the synagogue. There was one beautiful synagogue in the town. People congregated either there, or in other smaller prayer halls.

I don’t know how my parents met. All I know is that my father was married twice. His first wife died. My father brought a son into the second marriage, he was named Lajb. After World War I Lajb moved to the USA and there he changed his name to Louis. Well, and with my mother my father had another three girls and me. My parents spoke Yiddish to each other. Our mother tongue was also Yiddish, and of course we also learned the Zemplin dialect. This dialect was used in our surroundings. At home we also spoke Hungarian, but we spoke Hungarian only very rarely. In those days Hungarian was the language of ‘better’ people, that’s how one could put it.

Together with my half-brother there were five of us children in the family. The oldest was my sister, who was named Malkele, or Malvin, Malvinka. Another sister was named Lincu, or Lina, Linka or Karolina. Her Jewish name was Lea. The last of my sisters was named Surele, or Sarika, Sarolta. My half-brother was Lajb. He left for the USA after World War I. He settled in the city of Detroit. Occasionally he wrote us something. Always, when a letter from him arrived, we had something to laugh about. In each letter he wrote the same thing: ‘Di geshefte geyn zeyer shlekht. Mer kanayes ken ikh oykh nisht shrayben un ferblayb ayer bruder Luis.’ In Yiddish this means: Business is very bad. Otherwise there’s nothing new to write, yours truly, your brother Louis. That was how he ended his letters. We relished laughing at this so much that it’s stayed in my mind until now.

I never met Louis. During the First Republic 4 I was still small, and during the time of the Slovak State 5 it wasn’t possible. After the war he did a very nice thing. He sent my wife and me a so-called affidavit and ten dollars, that we should come join him. We didn’t leave and I returned the money, saying that when we do once come to America, he can give us the money. That it would help us more there than here, as it was 70 Czechoslovak crowns. Apparently my brother was offended, as we didn’t use the affidavit and returned the dollars. I guess he really was doing ‘schlecht’ [badly]...

Jews differed from the other village inhabitants in the clothes they wore. This was also the case with my parents. My father always wore dark clothing and wore a hat on his head. My mother’s hair was cut very short and she wore a kerchief on her head. My parents were strictly Orthodox Jews. Now I’ll mention one touchy subject. There’s a rule that after menstruation women have to wash in running water. My mother took this rule so seriously that in the winter, together with one of her daughters, she’d chop a hole in the ice on a nearby stream and bathe, because that’s what the rule said. The result was that towards the end of her life it caused her to have serious rheumatism. During her last years she just laid in bed. The Bergmans from Senne, who brought her food, also helped her. Her strict observance of religious rules indirectly resulted in her becoming an invalid, and during the deportations they just threw her, crippled, into a wagon. People didn’t pay her any heed and trampled her.

At that time I was already with Auntie Ilonka in Michalovce. The way it was, was that my father died in 1929 and I was supposed to recite the Kaddish for him. As there weren’t enough men [for a minyan, a minimum of ten men above the age of 13 needed for prayer] in Inacovce, I had to go to Michalovce. I wasn’t even 10 yet, and I recited the Kaddish for my father. At that time my mother was already suffering from serious rheumatism. I remember that she wasn’t even able to wipe the sweat from her forehead. Always when she raised her arm, she said, ‘My boy, it hurts.’ I was still little, so I didn’t understand it, and answered, ‘Mommy, how could it hurt?’

Our father also closely followed religious rules. For example it would be Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. We didn’t have a minyan. So Jews from three to five villages got together and would go to one village favorably located for this purpose. Jastrabie was the central village where we used to gather at the home of one Jewish family. My mother, the poor thing, would go with us in the evening on those sore legs of hers, so that she could be at the Kol Nidre. Those two kilometers were no small feat for a sick person. The men went there every Friday evening for Sabbath and during holidays, women only for the High Holidays.

Normally, usually once a week, not only during the High Holidays, but also on other days, my father used to go with other men to bathe in the mikveh. Imagine that, in that hole, in Inacovce, there was a mikveh. When I was still a young boy I used to bathe in the mikveh, on Friday. I went there with my father. Later I also went to a mikveh in Michalovce. The religiosity of Jews in Inacovce also showed in the fact that the three, four Jewish families there had a melamed – teacher, for their children.

Unfortunately my father died very early on. I couldn’t directly participate in the funeral, because my father, and thus also I, were kohanim – priests, from a tribe of priests, favored among all the Jewish tribes. For example during the High Holidays I blessed the entire kehila [kehila: the Jewish community in any given town], where they’d wash my hands beforehand so that they’d be clean during the blessing. I stood on a wall and recited the Kaddish. They buried my father right by that wall. Kohanim weren’t allowed in the cemetery, so that they wouldn’t come near unclean corpses. It was this privilege of theirs. I’d say that kohanim were considered to be a special tribe.

Growing up

I was born in the town of Inacovce, as my parents’ fourth child, in the year 1919. My parents named me Dov ben Mojshe. Dov means bear, and as I was still small, in Yiddish little bear is Berele. So that’s why at home they called me Berele. In official documents I was registered with the name Bernat. Our family house was made from unfired bricks. The whole house was shaped like the letter L. In the front there was a store, about 4 x 2.75 meters. From the store you entered a room. The room had small windows, two by three panes. There were two beds and a couch in the room. Also there was a wardrobe, cupboards, a sewing machine, table and chairs. Our whole family slept there and in the neighboring kitchen. In the beginning we had only that one large room. After my father’s death the house was ‘redone.’ After the room there was a kitchen and a door out into the courtyard. From the kitchen you could walk through a closet into the stalls, where there was a cow and horse. We all took care of the livestock. The horse was used mainly when we’d go to town to do the shopping. We bought things from merchants in Michalovce. They were named Bley and Izo, both were Jews, the upper crust from Michalovce.

In Inacovce, people called us by the nickname ‘malovany’ [fancy], as during Purim my deceased father had dressed up as a youth and sang: ‘I’m a fancy lad, I’ve got a laced coat...’ That stuck with him for good, from that time on no one in the village called us by any other name. Maybe it was also because for people that spoke only the Zemplin dialect, it was hard to pronounce the surname Schönbrun. At best they pronounced it ‘Scheybrun.’ Some people even mangled our nickname and called us silken or snazzy.

In the courtyard we had a well and troughs into which water for the animals was pumped. By the well we had a wooden sukkah with a roof that could be opened. The non-Jewish residents in our region called Sukkot ‘shack.’ They’d say, ‘The Jews are going into the shack.’ I liked Sukkot very much, it was a pleasant holiday. Everything was decorated with greenery and flowers. I also liked Passover. Beside the sukkah was a small garden where we grew vegetables. Mainly carrots, parsley, kohlrabi and a few potatoes. At the back of the courtyard we had another garden where we grew other vegetables. Since we had a cow and horse, there was a manure pile in the back, in the other part of the courtyard. We milked the cow twice a day and because we were very poor, we even drank milk milked during Sabbath. Poverty forced us to.

We also had a dog, and I remember there being an outbreak of rabies in the village. Which is why they decreed that all dogs in the town should be shot. My sisters put pillows over their ears so that they wouldn’t hear the shooting. At that time I didn’t understand it very much yet. We couldn’t afford to get another dog, as we had no money for a new one.

My father used to go to Michalovce to shop. He’d harness up the horse and go. I already knew approximately when he’d return, and would be on the lookout for him in front of the village. He always returned by the same road. He’d take me on the wagon and sit me on his knees. He’d give me the reins and I’d steer the horses.

Before Sabbath my mother baked bread for the whole week. When I was staying with Auntie Ilonka in Michalovce, my mother used to return the favor for me staying with them by also baking sweet cakes and would always send them over with someone. Of course, on Friday we also baked barkhes. For Sabbath a chicken would be slaughtered, because we also kept chickens in the courtyard. During Sabbath we weren’t allowed to turn on any lights and weren’t even allowed to light or stoke a fire in the stove, back then we heated with wood. Even on weekdays my parents prayed twice a day, and of course we said blessings over everything, broche. For example we said blessings while washing our hands, while eating bread, basically we blessed everything ‘Ha-motzi lechem min ha-aretz.’ ‘Blessed is the bread of the earth.’

When we bought new dishes or cutlery for the household, which happened rarely, we immediately koshered it all. We’d stick the cutlery into the ground and left it like that for a certain amount of time. I don’t remember the exact procedures any more. But buying something new was rare in our household. Dishes that could be, were seared, but I don’t remember this procedure either.

When I was young Inacovce had between 300 and 400 people. There were about a hundred houses. We didn’t have a market in the village, people used to go to Michalovce. Markets took place every Tuesday and Friday. The big market was on Friday. Farmers would come on horse-drawn wagons. Michalovce was such a dirty, muddy hole that there you had to know how to cross the street. The main street was paved with stone, but the other streets were only packed dirt. The farmers stood at the sides of the road and sold their goods.

I have good memories of all my siblings. My oldest sister, Malvinka, was a brave person. In time she married, unfortunately her marriage wasn’t a happy one. They had one child, who died as a baby. Her husband came into our family from the village of Mokca. Mokca is located on the border of Slovakia and Hungary. An interesting thing is that we were the Schönbruns, and all my sisters married Schöns. The husbands of my younger two sisters were brothers, while the husband of the oldest one hadn’t been related to them before that, they just happened to have the same surname. I don’t remember Malvinka’s wedding, I was still very small at the time.

Malvinka’s husband used to take money from the store and go to Uzhorod [today Ukraine]. There he’d lose all the money playing cards and would then return home. He’d take some more money and leave again. In this way our whole little store went to the dogs. Even the little that there was came to naught. Malvinka later divorced him. Her fate was very sad, she ended up in Auschwitz, where she died. Her little boy was buried in the local Jewish cemetery in Inacovce. The cemetery still exists, even though it’s in a sorry state. From some sort of fear of the ‘Jewish God,’ the residents ‘leave it be.’

My second sister was named Karolina. She was exactly the same type of person as my wife, assertive and self-confident. A very pretty girl she was. She married another Schön, Eugen, in Stretava. Eugen had a store in Stretava, and they did fairly well. Stretava was the second to next village from Inacovce, one went there through either Senne or Palin. All the women in the family, beginning with my mother, rest her soul, worshipped me, as I was the only boy. They spoiled me. Karolinka was doing well, and so during my visits she would ‘fatten me up.’ Once she made me an omelet out of 12 eggs. I ate it all, and then felt horribly ill. My mother told her that she’d never let me go see her again. They had a better house, and larger as well, also from unfired bricks. They had two children. The daughter was named Gyöngyi, or Pearl, the son Vladko [Vladimir]. The whole family was dragged off to a concentration camp, where they died. To this day I’ve got the postcard that they sent me from the Miedzyrzec 6 camp.

My youngest sister, Sarika, was a delicate creature. She married Eugen’s brother, Maximilian Schön. We called Maximilian Mishi. I still remember their wedding. The dance for the young people that came to the wedding took place in a pub in Inacovce. Pubs in these small villages served as social gathering places, cultural centers of sorts. The day of their wedding, there was a lot of mud in the village, and so that the wedding guests wouldn’t get dirty, they hired some gypsies. Their task was to carry the young people on their backs to the pub, for which they got paid. This was because at Jewish weddings, young Jewish people that knew the bride and groom also participated.

My brother-in-law Mishi, a healthy, strong fellow, a vulcanizer by trade, got into the ‘Sonderkommando’ in Auschwitz, which means that he carried the dead from the gas chambers to the crematoria and put them onto the grates. One day he got my oldest sister, his sister-in-law, Malvinka, to cart over. Then he had to cart over his dead brother, Eugen. One day he got his own wife, Sarika, to take over. That finished him off, as two people told me independently of each other. The ‘Sonderkommando’ were preparing to bring in explosives and blow up the crematorium sky-high. But one fellow prisoner, a Pole, betrayed them. The Germans burned that Pole alive. They said that anyone who betrays his own will betray them as well. On the basis of the Pole’s testimony they then hung my brother-in-law and the others.

After our father’s death my oldest sister Malvinka took care of everything. At that time Mother was already seriously ill. Malvinka was a very slender woman. When she looked good, she weighed 51 kilos, otherwise she weighed 49 kilos. This woman took care of the family. It was misery. All of us lived in two rooms, as the closet was converted into another room. As my sisters grew, more room was needed. As far as books go, those went to my sisters, albeit rarely, as they were older. I didn’t get books until I was in high school. I left our family home right after my father’s death. Then my sister Linka also moved away.

The young people in the village began to gradually live more progressively. For example, the generation before us entertained themselves as follows: about 20 young single men and newlywed men would gather, and walk, singing, in the direction of the neighboring village. Young men from the neighboring village would on the other hand walk towards ours. When they were about 15, 20 meters from each other, they yelled: ‘Wanna fight?’ And tore into each other. Once they stabbed someone from our village, another time someone from the neighboring one. I’m not exaggerating. I saw it once as I was sitting on the couch underneath the window, when one youth caught up to another one, and stuck a knife into his back. He had to pull on it twice to get it out. That was their fun. I want to stress that Jewish boys never did this. When we came, my generation, we brought a new culture to the village. We put on plays. On Sunday, we’d play soccer. We were the first generation of Jewish children that began to make friends with non-Jews.

Those of us who attended school in larger towns, there were five, six of us, brought culture to the village. We sang city songs, put on plays, played volleyball and of course soccer. As there weren’t enough of us, we began to initiate the local village boys into the secrets of soccer. In the beginning they would kick once into the ground, once into the ball, but gradually they got better, until we could form a village team and play against the neighboring village. Our fellow village dwellers were already coming to watch us; ‘How our troopers are kicking that ball.’ Village fights were gradually replaced by sports events. The village elders, when they saw what we’re doing, that we’re bringing culture to life in the village, gave us property for a soccer field. The property was called ‘Olosinka.’ I’ve even heard that someone wrote about how we changed life in the village. Instead of fights, it was: ‘We’re going to have a look at our troopers, how they’re kicking that ball.’ Once it happened to me that after one such game, where there were already people from the village, one woman said to me, ‘Mr. Bernat, listen, they do so much running around after that ball, and when they’ve got it, instead of taking it and going home with it, they kick it away.’ That was her understanding of soccer.

As I’ve already mentioned, after my father’s death I moved to Michalovce, so that I could recite the Kaddish. Because that’s how religious we were. I was around nine, ten years old. My mother sent me to Michalovce, to her sister Ilonka. Ilonka was a very brave person, when she added me to her already eight children. They had only two rooms to live in. Their children were named Boriska, Anuska, Sarika, Rozika, Zolika, Sanika, and unfortunately I don’t remember the names of the last two. Aunt Ilonka’s husband was named Blau, and had a quasi-café. Quasi because you can’t compare it with a café in today’s sense of the word. Auntie Ilonka baked tarts, supplied them to her husband, and he sold them in the café. Old Jewish men used to come there to play cards. During cards they’d order coffee and a tart to go with it.

Still during the time of the First Republic, Ilonka and her husband sent their oldest daughter Boriska to America, to live with some family. Thanks to this she stayed alive. After the war my wife and I invited her to come for a visit. We drove her around Eastern Slovakia. She was overjoyed, and wept profusely when she stood in the places where she had grown up. I wasn’t all the same to me either. Well, and we also were in America to visit her.

In those days there were about 4,000 Jews in Michalovce. So necessarily there were also more prayer halls there. The largest, a beautiful synagogue, stood downtown across from City Hall. During the time of the Communist regime they tore it down and built a parking lot in its place. Apparently they tore it down so that there wouldn’t be a Jewish church across from City Hall. In the east non-Jews called synagogues ‘buzna.’ This main synagogue had a secondary room where devout old people used to go, who used to from the early hours of the morning pray there, and studied the Gemara. I also used to go pray there, each morning before going to school, to recite the Kaddish for my father. Of course there were more such places, where they met and prayed the mincha [afternoon service] and ma’ariv [evening service], for example on Hodvabna Street.

I began attending school in Inacovce. There I attended up to Grade 3. At that point I transferred to school in Michalovce. The religion teacher there was ‘Uncle’ Hellinger. He always walked around in a Sabbath overcoat. He didn’t know how to express himself properly in any other language, which is why he spoke Yiddish and Zemplin. He convinced my mother to put me into high school, that he would prepare me for German exams. I guess he prepared me well, as I passed the exam and transferred from council school, where I absolved only one grade, to high school. I liked gym a lot, as I was excellent in it. I was a good athlete, running, high jump, shot put, that went well for me. I also used to play soccer. I took sports seriously. I liked it a lot, it seems that our second-born daughter has taken after me in this.

At the same time, I also very much liked to draw. I excelled at it. When we went outside as a class to draw, my teacher told me, ‘All right, you’ll sit down here and you’ll draw this scene.’ This flattered me. What young person wouldn’t be flattered by this? People saw that I was drawing something different from the others. This teacher, who was named Müller, he was a Czech, also gave me advice regarding my future profession and my future in general. I went to him for advice. I was considering going to an academy, where we’d be taking drawing. He told me, ‘No, I wouldn’t recommend it, as there’ll be times when you’ll have lots to eat, and times when you won’t have anything to eat.’ I was also good at natural history. Otherwise, it can’t be said that I lagged in something, I was this better average. I didn’t lag in anything, but neither did I excel. To this day I’ve got all my report cards filed away.

Up to the age of 13, I also attended cheder. I had various teachers. One was named Katz, that was in Grade 6. The classes were graded. Then there was also 7th and 8th grade. There our teacher was, by coincidence, a certain Blau, but of a different type. He once told me this: ‘Berele, du bist eyn groyser sheygetz.’ You’re one big sheygetz. That means Christian, rascal or something like that. I excelled in Yiddish grammar. I had very nice handwriting. I even wrote out report cards for our home room teacher. To this day I know the entire Yiddish alphabet. So I attended cheder up to the age of 13, and also normal elementary school. Then I attended council school for one year, and then transferred to high school.

Besides Auntie Ilonka, two families from Michalovce have been permanently engraved in my memory, the Reichs and the Polaks, at whose places I used to eat ‘teg’ during the school year. [Editor’s note: ‘Teg’ is the plural form of the Yiddish word ‘tog,’ meaning day.] This means that they used to feed me one day a week. They liked me and treated me in the best possible way. They never made me feel like I was dependent on them. Their attitude towards me molded my character. Mrs. Reich has remained in my memories my whole life as Auntie Zelma, and her older son, my friend Erisko. Mrs. Polakova was Auntie Sidi and her son Arnold our ‘son,’ whom my wife and I took in after the war.

Each year on 28th October, a big celebration took place in Michalovce, to celebrate the anniversary of the founding of the First Republic. On that day town delegates and non-Jewish officers of the Czechoslovak Army would visit the synagogue, which was a great honor for us. The cantor would sing a song about the founder of the republic, Tomas Garrigue Masaryk 7. I remember it as if it had taken place today. The cantor was a very congenial person, he sang beautifully, and we young guys liked his daughter.

Back then there were also several upper-class Jewish families in Michalovce. Among them were the Gutmanns who moved to Michalovce from our village. They had a car and mainly drove people to the train station with it. The Michalovce train station was quite far away from the center of town. The car would be parked in front of the Zlaty Byk [Golden Bull] Hotel, when someone needed it, he came and they drove him there. Similarly if someone for example needed to quickly get to Kosice, he had himself driven there. The Gutmanns sometimes allowed me to sit in the car.

At the age of 15, 16, I began with questions like, ‘Mummy, what sort of bride should I bring to meet you?’ ‘Son of mine, if you’ll like her, I’ll like her as well’, was her answer. But at that time soccer was already being played in Michalovce. I liked this sport, because besides simple shoes you didn’t need anything else to play it. But my cap used to bother me while heading the ball, so I turned it around backwards. It also bothered me on backwards, so I asked my mother, ‘Mummy, why can’t I play soccer without a cap, when my friends are playing without caps?’ ‘Zun mayner, dos torstu mikh nisht fregn, dos iz an aveyre.’ ‘Son of mine, you’re not allowed to ask about that, it’s a sin to ask.’ [Jewish laws decree that from the age of 3 all boys cover their heads during the entire day]. That was my mother’s outlook on the world and on life.

In Michalovce I lived with Auntie Ilonka, and as they were also very poor and had many children, I used to go for lunch to other Jewish families. One day a week I used to for example go to the Polaks’. Their son Arnold was a very spoiled child. For example, when he didn’t like the soup, he’d put a hair in it and proclaim, ‘I don’t want soup that has a hair in it.’ They gave him a different soup, he took a fly from the flypaper and threw it in it, so that he’d have a reason to rebel.

One evening his parents sent for me. Arnold had enraged his father so much that he would have given him a severe beating. As he was afraid of being beaten, he ran away from home. Of course, eventually night came, and the boy wasn’t home. He liked me, so his parents sent for me, for me to bring him back home. They knew in which direction he’d gone. I went in that direction and found him. He was already returning slowly, step by step. We arrived in front of their house, and he didn’t want to go another step further, he was afraid. I told him, ‘Well, let’s not sit here all night, you know, I’ve got to go to school in the morning.’ He didn’t want to go home. I told him, ‘All right, I’ll make you a bed in the stable.’ I fixed him a bed from a blanket that was used to cover horses. That was too smelly for him. Finally I got him into his room. I put his pajamas on him, and in the meantime his father had calmed down.

His parents were very good to me. By coincidence, that’s how life wanted it, Arnold’s parents died during the war. He remained alone, and so my wife and I took him in as our own son. A beautiful relationship, which had already been growing from youth, developed between us. After the war he studied at a mechanical tech school in Kosice. Then he wanted at all costs to go see the world. In the end, though, he listened and after tech school also finished university in Prague. Then he moved to the USA, where he worked his way up to being a university professor. He currently lives in Cincinnati. My wife and I have been there to visit him.

At school

Young Jewish people used to speak Yiddish and Zemplin among themselves. Those of us that attended school spoke Slovak. We had excellent teachers and professors. For example, we liked ‘Uncle’ Hellinger very much. He taught us religion. But non-Jews also used to come to his classes, because we were all very amused by him. As I’ve already mentioned, he properly spoke only Yiddish, and when he wanted to say something in Slovak, he always mangled it. For example he asked, ‘How many of Moses’ books do we have?’ Right away he showed five fingers and answered his own question; ‘Hive.’

We also very much liked a professor by the name of Vymazal. He was a Czech and had a Jewish wife. He used an excellent method on us students. He always said, ‘Next week I’ll begin testing. Learn what I’ve dictated to you, I’ll call up to the blackboard the first two or three.’ We had one boy in our class whose father was the regional chief. Huncut didn’t study. He didn’t have to. His father was a non-Jew and he basically got everything, as his father was a chief. Who would have dared go against the chief’s son? We told that student, ‘If you don’t learn it, we’ll break your arms and legs.’ Under threat he learned.

We also worshipped our Slovak teacher, Dr. Alexander Matuska. He was our homeroom teacher in our last two years of high school. In class we would compete as to who would have read more books. In two and a half years I read 136 books, but I was only in 7th or 8th place. There were those that had read a whole lot more books. We read everything that was worth reading. I can’t forget how annoyed Matuska was when one student, later the chairman of the Central Union of Jewish Religious Communities in Prague, Dune [Dezider] Goldfinger, had read Romain Rolland [Rolland, Romain (1866 – 1944): French writer, musical scholar and pacifist], and he, a major literary critic, hadn’t. When he’s young, a person has time for everything.

When I was older, we used to have class or school dances. We also had dances for the Jewish holiday of Purim. Unfortunately, I had to rent a suit for these dances. At the age of 16, I already measured 180 cm and weighed 80 kilograms. I’m saying this because I was physically more mature than others of my age, and thus the rented suits were necessarily shorter. The sleeves were short, so I pulled my arms in so it wouldn’t show. Basically my height and weight made itself felt in sports. As a poor boy I tried to excel in something. I even became a Maccabi 8 leader for Jewish boys of my age. Some of us high school students used to go to the parties along with boys that were apprenticing as tradesmen. Despite my being a high school student, socially I was closer to those apprentices. The fact that we used to organize Purim dances also brought us together. We’d rent the Golden Bull Hotel and that’s where we’d dance. To this day I remember some of the songs that we used to sing there.

As a boy I of course had my idol. He was named Ali Dudlak. Dudlak was my idol because he worked for the Sfinx company, which sold books. Ali and his friend Fredy Saltzmann made a lot of money as buyers. Fredy was from Nizny Hrabovec, a village by Vranov nad Toplou. Two dandies, they made a lot of money, but also squandered it. So, I don’t know if I’m allowed to use an ugly expression, but all women, here you could also use a different expression, from Cheb to Jasin, stood in a row when they arrived. When I was 16 or 17 I set out with some friends on a rented bicycle for Uzhorod to see a soccer game. SK Rusj Uzhorod and Slavia Praha were playing. The world-famous soccer player Planicka was in goal for Slavia, for Rusj it was Boksaj. SK Rusj Uzhorod was composed of eleven teachers from all over Ruthenia, who had put together a team. These two teams were playing against each other, as Rusj had gotten into the Czechoslovak league. In the evening we all went to the Berecsényi Café, and when Ali Dudlak and Fredy Saltzmann arrived, the musicians stopped playing their usual repertoire, and began playing their songs. They were loaded and I was very flattered that I could be in their company. I was a pauper compared to them. They dressed like dandies, and I’ll repeat it again, everything queued up precisely for these reasons.

I also played soccer. In the 1937/38 season I even battled my way onto the Michalovce ‘A’ team. Despite the fact that it was only for a tryout, as a juvenile, we played against UKMSC Uzhorod teams and against one team from Kosice. Those were large cities, where there were more teams. I even scored a goal against Uzhorod, and assisted in another for an excellent soccer player by the name of Blazejovsky. After the game with UKMSC I became a ‘professional.’ I got supper, a large beer and ten crowns. Suddenly the world was my oyster. Everything was coming up roses. When I arrived home in the evening to Auntie Ilonka’s, I boasted that ‘győztünk’ [Hungarian for ‘we won’], to which she said, ‘Én is?’ [Hungarian for ‘me too?’]. The poor thing, she was funny in that poverty of hers... In those years I also participated in the All-Sokol Slet [Rally] 9 in Prague, which was something like later the Spartakiada.

My political evolution took the following course. When I came to Michalovce, I began to be friends with Emil Fürst. Gradually it began taking ‘the left side of the road’. The entire Fürst family was oriented towards the left. Emil and I went through Hashomer Hatzair 10 together. We also took courses. I remember that during the year 1937–38 I was on one such course in Levoca. Jozko Weiser, the ‘wisest Jew in Slovakia’ at the time, according to my opinion, lectured for us.

As far as sports are concerned, I learned and improved in them in school, for one. We had an excellent gym teacher, Professor Stranaja, the founder of the Faculty of Physical Education and Sports and Comenius University in Bratislava. Then in the FAK soccer club in Michalovce, and then finally in Maccabi, where we left-oriented students met up with ‘class-related’ apprentices. Together with them we rented a room, a workshop, where during the day they repaired cars. In the evening we’d come there, sweep the auto repair shop, and then exercised. We for example bought some old parallel bars from the school, our first equipment. As I excelled at sports, they elected me as their leader. It was this sports leadership position. There were about 10, 15 of us boys.

Some boys from so-called better families used to go exercise at Betar 11. These boys underestimated us a bit, which followed from our social standing. Betar was right-wing. We called them the Fascists. They exercised with clubs and were basically preparing to fight in Palestine. No, we said. In Israel, where we were preparing to go, it’s going to be necessary to convince the Arab laborers that we’re class comrades. So that the Arab laborers wouldn’t work for lower wages, but would ask for the same as Jewish ones. As a poorer student, I overall belonged to leftist-oriented youth.

Of course, in the town there were also boys that were very religious, and they weren’t in these two organizations, they had Mizrachi 12. Our outlook on their philosophy was that they were wrong. Slowly we were ceasing to believe in the religious way of Jewishness that our parents believed in. I saw the poverty, but not only saw; I experienced it firsthand. When I lived with Auntie Ilonka, their house was near the Laborec River, and when the water rose, the rats would get all the way up into the house we lived in. At night I wore a cap, in the naive hope that the rats wouldn’t bite my ears. As a child I had ‘as many as’ two outfits. One for everyday wearing, and one for holidays. Most of the time I ran around only in shorts, a t-shirt and tennis shoes, that was all I had to wear. This poverty had a great influence on me. At the age of 15, 16, a person begins to think differently. He tries to understand some things and I wanted to understand them.

In 1940 I finished high school. We were the last Jewish graduates 13. I played sports in high school as well, I was even one of the two best Jewish athletes. Thanks to sports I got to the Eastern Slovakia high school championships in Presov. I was the only Jew from our school who was eligible for a place in this event from a standpoint of performance. It was sometime during the years 1936–1937. As a Grade 10 student, I even got onto the relay team, as its fourth member. I battled for the position with a boy who was two years older, by the name of Stasko. All the non-Jews were rooting for him, and I defeated him in a race, and back then I was very proud of myself.

The first time I noticed strong anti-Semitism was in high school. Back then, the film Golem was showing in Prague. In school and in our class we talked a lot about the Golem [in Jewish folklore, the Golem is an artificial living being created out of inert material]. I remember that Professor Dostalova, who was a Czech, literally provoked a debate on this theme. As I’ve already mentioned, I was attending a Jewish-Czech class. Back then we argued: ‘Your Christ rose from the dead, that was possible? And to make the Golem come alive, that wasn’t possible?’ That was the argument. It almost ended with a fight.

During the War

We were already allocating who was going to fight with whom, if the worst was to come. At that time the Hungarians had attacked Southern Slovakia 14. Part of the territory fell to them. As the surrounding towns were in the border territory, some ended up as part of Hungary and others remained in Slovakia. In this way I lost part of my classmates, who had ended up part of Hungary. That’s why in our high school they combined two classes. One was mixed, Jews and Czechs, and the second was made up of Slovak Christians. And that’s when it started. Some of my classmates prepared for their graduation exams by coming dressed as Hlinka Youth. [The Hlinka Guard 15 founded youth groups and helped organize their activities. These groups were named the Hlinka Youth.] One of them was named Snincak and the other Hudak. Some of the teachers also promoted the Hlinka Party 16 and supported the Slovak State.

After graduation I was at home until March 1941. I was no longer allowed to work. I made money by giving private lessons. In time I had to stop with this as well. I also managed to make money by drawing. I also gave lessons in descriptive geometry to one high school student and her sister, a university student. In March 1941 they summoned me to the Sixth Labor Battalion 17. I served in it for 28 months.

The Sixth Battalion was a group of Jewish guys. They were all young people. Many of them were university graduates. Among them were doctors, lawyers, engineers, surveyors... men who where already independent. They were also summoned to the Sixth Battalion. The philosophy was likely that when they’ll have young Jewish men concentrated in one place, they’ll be easier to control. At first they gathered us in Cemerne, in the Vranov nad Toplou region. To there, and later, in the fall, to Sabinov, came about 1200 to 1800 young, healthy, sympathetic Jewish boys from the whole of Slovakia. In the beginning we were ordered about by simple, even primitive wardens, who were from Eastern Slovakia and Subcarpathian Ruthenia. Can you imagine it? A doctor was being commanded by a warden who perhaps didn’t even have two grades of elementary school.

In the beginning we only trained. We got old Austro-Hungarian army uniforms and sailor’s caps. We of course didn’t get weapons. In the beginning the uniforms were green, then blue, so we’d be easily distinguishable, and so that it would be immediately obvious who we are. Then they divided us up among various locations. Construction companies close to the army needed workers, so they asked the army for people, and thus work groups were created. In the beginning I worked in Presov. In time they transferred me to the Borkut region, near Presov. In Borkut we first built ourselves barracks, in which we then lived. Then we were building roads into the forest, where there were army supply dumps. After a month I got home on leave, which I of course had to pay for. At that time my middle sister’s husband asked me, ‘So, you’re not in the office anymore?’ [In those days and in that simple village environment, when someone had attended high school, it was naturally assumed that in the army he’d be working in an office, or would have an administrative function.] And I answered him that there were 600 such people there. If all 600 were in the office, they wouldn’t have anyone to train. A naive idea and opinion, which I had at the time.

When the Sixth Battalion was to be disbanded, after more than two years, some boys tried to leave the country. So for example, two had themselves shut up in a wagon full of charcoal in Eastern Slovakia. They managed to get all the way to Switzerland in that wagon. This happened in 1943. Not everyone was lucky, though. There were cases when the train stopped at one of the stations and they began to bang on the wagon’s walls, believing that they were already in Switzerland. Unfortunately, it was only Austria, and those were thrown in jail right away, and ended up according to whose hands they had found themselves in.

In Presov we were helping build a hospital and paving roads, which means we paved them with stones. First large stones are laid down, then small ones, then the whole thing is covered in gravel and is filled and asphalted. We had to quarry the stone ourselves in a quarry. About fifty of us were working there. As I could draw well, I made some extra money by drawing my friends. They used to give me some spare change for it. Back then, a person counted every crown. Once I drew a tableau for the commander of our unit. His name was Ocvirk. To each boy’s face, which was a photo, I drew a body according to his particular characteristics. I got three crowns from each one of them for it. But what was even better, I made some brownie points with Ocvirk. He even hung the tableau on the wall in his office.

Once another non-com, Grohol, stopped by our commander’s office, and saw the panel. Ocvirk was of course flattered by it, as he was pictured in the function of commander in it. Grohol asked him: ‘What’s this you’ve got here?’ ‘I’ve got very clever Jew-boys, and this one is good at drawing.’ ‘Would you lend me this Jew-boy?’ So I ended up in Grohol’s office. Our job there was to record army things being sent to the Eastern Front.

But I had an enemy in the commander of our group. My antagonist was the officer Psenicka. He arranged for me to return to where they had transferred me from. He literally bullied me. He used to come see how I was working, and he didn’t like the way I was digging. When I was in the latrine, he harangued me that I’m there all day. Once on Saturday, I came to ask him for leave to go home, where my ill mother was lying in bed. I reported, ‘Lieutenant, Sir, Laborer Jew Schönbrun, reporting my arrival in the office.’ That’s how we officially announced ourselves, ‘Laborer Jew.’ It should be mentioned that in the beginning we reported as ‘Worker Jew.’ The command decided that this was too dignified for us, which is why they changed the title to ‘Laborer’ for Jews and Gypsies, while Slovaks who weren’t fit for battle and were in the Sixth Battalion, were called ‘Worker.’

Psenicka didn’t pay any attention to my reporting. I’d been standing there, at attention, for about 15 minutes, when he turned to me with the words: ‘What do you want here?!’ ‘Lieutenant, Sir, I’d like leave. I want to visit my mother.’ ‘Why do you want to visit your mother?’ ‘Because she wants to see me.’ ‘So send her a photo!’ That was the answer of one officer of the Slovak Army. A person full of contradictions.

As punishment, he told me that on Monday I’ll be working on our section for 150 minutes longer. On Monday he didn’t forget to come to our section to have a look if I’m working, if I’m plugging away. He didn’t do this to anyone but me. The next Saturday, I came to see him after work. He threw me out, saying that I hadn’t shaved. The third Saturday I went home, on the sly, without leave. But I no longer found my mother there. They had deported her in the meantime. On Monday Psenicka came to see me and asked, ‘How come you didn’t come see me?’ At that point I didn’t care about anything any more, and so I shot back, ‘I was already home...’ and started weeping. Apparently it moved him, because he left me alone. So much for him. After the war he became a member of the Communist Party Central Committee. He was the chairman of the Regional Party Committee in Presov. The chairman of the Central Committee distributed financial aid for Eastern Slovakia, big-time millions.

In the post-war period I became the general secretary of SPROV [The Federation of Anti-Fascist Prisoners and Illegal Workers], and as such I tried to have Psenicka removed from his position. First they wanted to jail me instead, that I was sullying the Party. Some time later, I was going for an audience with Siroky 18, and Psenicka was just leaving his office. I asked Siroky: ‘Comrade Siroky, what did that person want with you?’ ‘And you know who he is?’ ‘Of course I know! The commander of the army Jewish labor division.’ At that time I already had some authority in SPROV, and wanted that person to be punished. Later it happened. There was a confrontation, and I testified against him. I’m not claiming that they jailed him only due to me, but I definitely contributed, as by this fact his cup of sins had run over. I found out that he had plotted against me and told two boys to falsely testify against me. It took five years until things were put right. After some time he was once again rehabilitated, and I was afraid to go to the East, in case he’d bought some gypsies ‘for a bottle,’ who’d stab me... Even these sorts of things could have happened back then.

I also have this memory of Presov. We had one warden who was small in stature. His name was Fajcik. This little Napoleon, who bellowed at us from morning till evening. We were working with the bricklayers at the army hospital construction site, where two weeks before there had been typhoid corpses. We were carting away soil on railway handcars from the hospital courtyard outside, where we were leveling it. As it was already late fall, the soil had frozen overnight, and in the morning we dug under it, so there was this kind of roof, on top of which this warden was standing, in all his haughtiness. As we were gradually undermining the soil, it collapsed and the warden fell off it, but immediately got up and began running. The frozen soil knocked him down. Luckily for him, he’d fallen into the angle formed between the soil and the tracks that the handcars were driving on. So the dirt hadn’t completely crushed him. The eight of us that were nearby immediately ran over and with a great effort lifted that huge chunk of frozen earth, and one of us pulled the guard out. His reaction was: ‘kleban’ – ‘a priest.’ We carried him to the army hospital building that stood in that courtyard. I don’t know if it was five, or twenty seconds, but the way we had reacted to the situation saved his life. He stayed in the hospital for six weeks, and when he returned, he never yelled at us again. He probably realized what we’d done for him.

At the end of 1942 and beginning of 1943, I arrived at Kuchyne pri Malackach. There were about 30 or 40 of us Jews there. There were also kosherites among us. [Editor’s note: kosherite, from the word kosher (ritually clean). In this case a person keeping ritual rules to do with food.] They didn’t have an easy life. In conditions like that, and to keep kosher on top of it. From there I went to Liptov. It was basically due to my friend, Bandy Sulc. Bandy was one of the surveyors, who were working on the building of a track from Liptovsky Hradek to Jamnik. Near the town of Jamnik there was a military airport. General Catlos 19 was from nearby Liptovsky Petr. As part of the construction of the tracks, the ground there was being meliorated. We had it really quite good in Liptov. The unit commander, but also the locals, Protestants, were very decent people.

On 31st May 1943, the Sixth Labor Battalion was officially disbanded. The guys from the battalion were assigned to the Sered and Novaky camps. A number of them stayed to work on the regulation of the Sur River. Many of them later joined the SNR 20 and many of them also fell in it. They kept 48 of us in the army as necessary ones. Among us were doctors, lawyers, builders, surveyors, tradesmen and guys with qualifications that were useful for the Slovak Army. Strangely enough, even here there were two people to be found that didn’t wish us well, the Protestant priest Rolko and the notary Reiskop, who railed against us. Luckily we already had our kindhearted protectors who were in our favor and helped us.

Until the rebellion broke out, I worked with the surveyors as a draftsman. After some time I got to Bratislava. I worked in one warehouse for a certain non-com by the name of Valko. On payday, he’d send all the guys under him home on leave, and took their pay. But the soldiers were glad that they could go home. He also did other things, like for example selling military materials – blankets. At that time I was doing the recordkeeping, which was dangerous both for him and for me. He knew that I knew what was happening. He needed to get rid of me, so he made me available [for transfer].

This section was under Major Franz, who had a Jewish wife. He asked why they wanted to get rid of me in the warehouse: ‘Don’t worry, you can tell me.’ ‘Major, Sir, if you want to know the situation, there’s black-marketeering going on there. The commander knows that I know about it. He needs to get rid of me.’ The major asked me, ‘What do you know how to do?’ ‘Everything.’ I wanted to save myself from the fate that would have awaited me, so I had to know how to do everything. ‘Do you know how to type?’ ‘No, but if a sixteen-year-old girl can do it, I’ll learn it too.’ I became a typist.

At that time they were bombing Bratislava. Major Franz had an apartment in the center of the city, and during one raid was hit. We went to help them pull out their things from underneath the rubble. He and his wife became fond of me. I’ll say once again, his wife was Jewish and he was a German. See what coincidences happen in life? After the war he left for Czechia, where he had big problems due to his being a German. At that time I was in SPROV. I wrote him an assessment as to how he had behaved towards me during the war. You can imagine what an assessment from SPROV meant in those days. Thus I saved him from being expelled to Germany.

During those times I met my future wife. I met her by the Danube, where the Propeler [a former river steamboat that was converted to a restaurant] is these days. It was after lunch on Saturday. A friend of mine and I were sitting on a bench, and we saw a pretty girl walking around there. As I later found out, they were making a hat for her nearby, and she was waiting for it to be finished. On Sunday after lunch I set out to visit one mixed family in Lamac. They had a very pretty girl, Irenka. They were named the Picks. When I got there the mother and daughter were having a picnic. It insulted me, as they had taken the father, a Jew, to a concentration camp, and they were having a picnic. I said to myself, they aren’t the right partners for me. I turned around and left.

On the way back I laid down on a meadow and fell asleep. Later some soldier walked by with a girl. They unintentionally woke me up. I looked over, and walking behind them was the girl I’d seen the day before on the riverbank. I started talking to her, as there was no other way of getting to know her. During the time of the Slovak State, I never used to hide my origins. I always did this, regardless of who I was talking to, except for the police. Well, and in the beginning she didn’t understand what I meant by it. She was from the town of Pukanec, from central Slovakia. She was surprised by my opinions. She even asked me, ‘The strange way you’re speaking, are you Spanish, or Italian?’ I answered, ‘No, I’m a Jew.’ That’s how we met. She was a seamstress. Of course, I walked her to the building where she lived. She went up to her apartment and brought me down some bread with lard and cracklings. It tasted very good to me, as I was hungry. That was the beginning. Then we used to meet. My wife, back then still my girlfriend, helped me very much later.

When the uprising broke out and the Russians were slowly approaching, I thought about how I’d save myself. I had a good friend from Inacovce. His name was Jozko [Jozef] Knezo, and he was a priest in the Eastern Slovak town of Vysoka nad Uhrom. He was a very good friend of mine. With his agreement I falsified my name as Knezo. He also sent me some documents and he and my future wife both helped me very much. When the uprising broke out, I acquired and made myself some false papers. I also made papers for people I knew. The seals of the Slovak State were easily forged. You just used special ink to draw a double cross and three peaks and that was it. [Slovak state symbol: First became the symbol of Slovakia during the revolutionary years of 1848-1849. The triple peak symbolizes the three Carpathian mountain ranges, Tatras, Fatra and Matra (currently on Hungarian territory). The double cross symbolizes Christianity and at the same time the traditions of St. Cyril and Methodius 21, who brought Christianity to the region during the time of Greater Moravia (9th Century)] I can’t imagine the problems it would have caused to have to forge the Czech lion. [The so-called small state insignia of the Czech Republic shows a white two-tailed lion, as the symbol of the entire Czech Republic, with a gold crown and gold claws].

With the arrival of the Germans in Bratislava, in 1944, my girlfriend, now my wife, and I decided to go to her home town, Pukanec. But there it wasn’t possible to hide properly. We soon returned to Bratislava. It was before Christmas, I had to hide. The owner of the apartment I was hiding in was named Turza. He lived there together with his brother-in-law. He was named Kocvara. They didn’t know I was a Jew. One night there was a large roundup held all over Bratislava. During the night an SS soldier woke me up. He was shining a flashlight right in my face. We had to get dressed immediately. When the SS soldier went to check the other room, I surreptitiously stuck my real documents under a suitcase on the wardrobe and left my false ones in my pocket.

There was a big commotion in the city due to the raids. Mr. Kocvara and I lived on Spitalska Street, along which they led us in the direction of the Manderlak [Manderlak: considered to be the first so-called skyscraper in Bratislava as well as in Slovakia. It has 11 floors and for a long time was the tallest residential building in Bratislava]. Through my head ran the thought that if they aim us to the left, it’s bad, because this was the way to the bridge to Petrzalka, where they shot people without mercy. In front of the Manderlak we turned right, up to the square. At that moment it meant a certain relief and the postponement of death. On the way I with difficulty tore up and ate one of my false documents. It didn’t seem to me to be the best forgery and I was afraid that they’d discover it.

We came to a place, Edlova Street, where they were gathering people. My roommate, Kocvara, found out from one girl that here they were concentrating Jews that had been in hiding. He was flabbergasted. He said that there’d been some mistake, that he’s not a Jew. As I’ve already mentioned, he didn’t know anything about my origins. We agreed that he’d let me do the talking. They were putting the people they’d caught into various rooms of the building. In the meantime I’d gotten my bearings and found out that the Slovaks and Germans who’d been picked up by mistake were meeting with the commander in one room. Kocvara and I joined them and I managed to convince the commander, a member of the SS, that we didn’t belong to the rest of the people that had been rounded up. I think that the main reason for our release wasn’t false documents, which also helped, but the fact that that SS officer was probably a lenient person. I saw how he also released other Slovaks.

After my release I didn’t spend the next night on Spitalska Street. My future wife and I soon returned to Pukanca and kept on hiding. We could no longer return to Bratislava. In the meantime, the front had stopped at Pukanec for three months. One time there were Russians there, another time Germans. It changed several times. I was so confused by it all, that when the Russians came, I started speaking German to them. At last the front moved westward, and after the liberation of Bratislava we also left for there, in April. After World War II, I wanted to change the world. Back then I thought that socialism was the right choice. To this day I say, ‘Every reasonable person can’t be other than progressive, but of course not in the sense of socialistically progressive.’

After liberation I went to have a look at my home village. I was hoping that at least my youngest sister’s husband would have survived. Because he was, as I’ve already mentioned, physically a very strong man and those types were more likely to survive. Unfortunately, I’ve already told you about his fate. For the villagers I was Bernat. I belonged among them, as I’d already been friends with them before the war. I also remembered how one of them Jozko Knezo, had helped me. Other good friends of mine were Misko Hajducko, Durco Zvonik, Mikulas Fedorik, ... This happened, for example. After the war I went to see a neighbor in the village. She was blind, and when I entered she was lying in bed. I greeted her politely, ‘Good day Auntie Kutasova.’ ‘Good day, good day.’ ‘Do you want guests?’ And she answered, ‘Yes, yes, just let them tell me who they are...’ When they wanted to show respect, they referred to people as ‘they.’ ‘...as I, a blind woman, can’t see.’ ‘So guess.’ ‘Let them say something more.’ She guessed who I was. ‘And they came to see a blind woman?’ So she was glad that I’d come to see her. I was also glad, as she was a good neighbor. But there were also other types.

 After the War

Right after the end of the war I began, among other things, to look for a place from where I could avenge the deaths of my nearest and dearest, my mother, sisters and their husbands and children and all the others. All told about 80–90 relatives. For this was the resolution I had made that Saturday night when I had gone home on the sly from the labor camp, from Presov, due to Psenicka not wanting to give me leave. I had found that my mother was no longer at home, she had gone to ‘work,’ helpless... They trampled her, poor thing, in the wagon on the way to Auschwitz.

The police were located on Ceskoslovenskej armady Street [Czechoslovak Army Street, in the building called U Dvou Levoch, or The Two Lions], and the chief was a certain Major Colak. He was a reputable, mature person that one could talk to reasonably. After a detailed conversation about where I was from, what I had experienced, what brought me to consider working for the police, it came out that he was also from Michalovce. His brother had been my professor at the Michalovce high school, whom I had gotten along well with. I had even worked for him in his office. When we got to the evaluation, he told me exactly this: ‘My dear countrymen, they should forget about the police. That’s not for them, for their temperament. They won’t be able to stand it, to root around in muck, in the dirt, believe me...’ Those were his expressions, which I’ve remembered my whole life. After considering all the pros and cons, I listened to him and didn’t join the police. I admitted that I didn’t suit them and they didn’t suit me. In the end the times confirmed this. All Jewish guys that joined the police ended up worse than catastrophically. They threw them all in jail. I didn’t end up all that great either, but not as badly as those that were with the police.

After the war, several institutions were formed in Slovakia, such as for example the Federation of Slovak Partisans, the Federation of Anti-Fascist Prisoners and Illegal Workers [SPROV], the Federation of Foreign Soldiers, the Federation of Soldiers-Rebels [SVOJPOV] and the Federation of The Racially Persecuted. You could say that every political party needed to have someone ‘behind them.’ That someone were these federations. The Federation of Anti-Fascist Prisoners and Illegal Workers, SPROV, was leftist-oriented, the same as the Federation of Slovak Partisans. The Federation of Foreign Soldiers, those were leftists as well as rightists, depending on if they had been at the Eastern or Western front, and what sort of upbringing they’d had. The Federation of Soldiers-Rebels was created by the Democratic Party, as a counterweight to leftist-oriented federations. This is how it gradually evolved. I joined SPROV, as its ideals corresponded with my thoughts and ideas about progressiveness. Back then I thought that only socialism can be progressive, and I wasn’t alone, even more mature and grown-up people thought this way.

The most influential federation was the Federation of Slovak Partisans. Unfortunately, this federation was partially anti-Semitic. In 1946 they demonstrated against Jews. They wanted to break windows in Jewish homes and shouted slogans: ‘Jews out!’, ‘Jews to Palestine!’ Many Jews had been in the partisan ranks during the war. That’s why members of this federation didn’t condemn everyone. Their principle was: ‘My Jew friend is a good Jew, but not the others!’ Partisans approached all things in a military fashion, in the style of: ‘Damn it, I’ll get my machine gun...’

Of course, there were also people of high principles among them. Not long ago Mrs. Hana Malatkova-Potocna died, that was a real partisan! Among other things, she expressed pro-Jewish sentiments. Another influential federation was SPROV. Its top official was first Andrej Bagar and then Viliam Siroky, later the premier. We had a lot of economic and political power. For example, the national administration was portioned out. That means that our people were installed into companies belonging to Fascists and collaborators. Very many important politicians also came from these circles.

In those days I was the general secretary of SPROV. There were many Jews among our membership. We published the newspaper Hlas Oslobodenych [Voice of the Liberated], which our people liked a lot, as we promoted their demands. Jews were secretaries in many regional towns. For example in Kosice it was Braun, in Michalovce Dr. Goldstein, in Dunajska Streda, Steckler. Mr. Steckler was a very honest person. Without a recommendation from the resistance elements, nothing happened. SPROV was politically a very strong organization. The largest federation in terms of numbers was SVOJPOV. They accepted almost anyone into their ranks, even former Guardists. SVOJPOV was connected to the Democratic Party, who needed to show boost their numbers.

The Federation of The Racially Persecuted didn’t have the same powers and influence as the other four. Its leader was an exceptionally capable person, Dr. Kucera. Basically every Jew had been racially persecuted, but after the war it was difficult to claim. At that time the state of Israel was also being created, which from the beginning had been leftist oriented. As I had been a member of Hashomer Hatzair before the war, I took it as a very positive thing. In 1948, as well as the state of Israel being created, the merging of the federations took place. Four federations, the Federation of Slovak Partisans, SPROV, SVOJPOV and the Federation of Foreign Soldiers merged into one. The Federation of The Racially Persecuted depended on the support of Jews that were in the other federations. The merger was ordered by the Central Committee of the Communist Party of Slovakia.

As ‘there can’t be too many roosters in the henhouse,’ the leaders of the Federation of Slovak Partisans, Faltan, Salgovic and Drocar, sidetracked their future competitors in advance. Gradually they had them put in jail. First in line was SVOJPOV. Erich Uberal and Imre Rudas, who was half Jewish, were jailed.  Next up was the Federation of Foreign Soldiers. They arrested Messrs. Sindler and Mestan. Mestan was the cousin of the current director of the Museum of Jewish Culture in Bratislava. Him I managed to get out of the slammer, as they’d jailed him on the basis of falsified records, which I found out and notified the attorney general. The day after he’d been released, he came to my apartment to thank me.

Finally, after SPROV I was to be next as well. During the preparations for the merger of the federations, the division of individual positions gradually crystallized. As I had almost finished economics university, I was to be given an economical management function. To prevent this from happening, they prepared a dirty trick for me. We were on a large farm in the town of Kravany that belonged to the Federation of Partisans. My task was to take over the farm and approve everything that had happened on it prior to that with my signature. But I didn’t have the authority to take it over, I was only allowed to run it, direct it. I realized that they were preparing something. To prevent this, I quit my job at SPROV, giving as a reason that I wanted to finish school. With this I simplified the situation for the aforementioned ‘officials,’ as the federations were battling for power among themselves and they had gotten one competitor out of the way without a fight. They threw the guy that took the farm over in jail for 18 years by pinning on him dirty tricks that had been perpetrated there before him.

In 1945 I at first applied for construction engineering. After some time I found out that I’d be studying for five years, that for five years my wife would be working to support me, and we’d go hungry. That was the reason why I left it. Because there it was mandatory to go to lectures, you had to do drafting and so on, which took up a lot of time. Attending this school as well as working on top of it would have been possible only with great difficulty. That’s why I transferred to economics, where I didn’t have to attend all the lectures. An advantage was also that the studies lasted only four years. Back then economics was taught at the Business University Na Palisadoch in Bratislava. I successfully graduated from school. In 1946, during my studies, my wife’s father, who’d been a blacksmith, died. His neighbor had given him some iron to make a spit. He put it in the fire to heat it up. Apparently there had been a jammed cartridge in it, which exploded due to the heat. It exploded so unluckily that it literally ripped out my wife’s father’s guts.

I looked upon the year 1948 22 as a victory. The victory of the leftist oriented. Back then I thought that it was the best path for us. Unfortunately, I only gradually realized that the talk went one way and socialism another. I saw that major, serious mistakes and injustices were happening. For example, a few years after the war, I got into the commission for the resolution of the Hungarian 23 and German 24 question, for the expulsion of people out of the country. At the first session we got a list. I asked, ‘What did this person do? Did he kill someone? Did he rat on someone?’ The answer was, ‘No, but he’s a Hungarian.’ ‘Is he supposed to be expelled for the fact that he was begotten by a Hungarian, despite the fact that he’s not guilty of anything?’

The result was that I immediately quit the commission. The head of the commission was named Benko. He and higher party and state organs very much resented this, and I began to have problems that lasted for years, for the fact that I hadn’t grasped the party line. Gradually I was thrown out of everywhere. It began with them throwing me out of work, and finally also out of my own apartment. That was in the year 1951. It was a very tragic time. My wife had to return to her family home in Pukanec, as we didn’t have anywhere to live.

At that time there was also a country-wide initiative taking place, when many people, all together 77,000 25 were taken from administrative positions and put into manufacturing. I was among them. Up till then I’d been working at the Industry and Business Commission. Later it was split and I was at the Business Commission. Within the scope of this I was supposed to lecture at the Business University. When I found this out, I went to Luhacovice to have my throat treated. I still had problems with it from the war. One day a letter from Dr. Stahlova came to the spa for me. She was a friend of mine, the wife of one Czech intellectual, a very reputable man. She wrote me: ‘Don’t be surprised, you’re on the list as a factory worker,’ although only two weeks earlier I’d been named as a university lecturer. From the position of secretary of a Party organization at the Business Commission I got onto the factory worker list, without being told anything, why, or for what.

I became a class enemy. At first I couldn’t find any work. They followed me every day. Finally, through a friend of mine, I got an interview at Slovnaft. A friend of mine was working there as the director of one construction company. They allocated me work there. The first day I came to work, and one of the workers there asked me, ‘What do you want here?’ ‘They allocated me here.’ ‘You’re supposed to work here?’ Then he told me to watch carefully. He stuck his finger into boiling lead, stirred it, and said, ‘When will you manage to do this with your fingers?’ I still get chills up and down my spine when I remember it. I was there in manufacturing for three days, and had myself declared ill.

I was ill for three months and finally a person I knew helped me. He found me another job. For two years I had to work as a radio repairman, though I didn’t understand that work at all. I ‘repaired’ old radios. The only thing that I was capable of doing perfectly was that I cleaned those old radios out. Those radios, that was physical and mental suffering. To be doing something that I didn’t understand, what didn’t interest me, just torture. But I learned to wind transformers, this kept me going. The StB 26 followed me. Every day one copper came to have a look if I’m really at work. The way it was, was that each snoop had a few companies allocated, which he had to watch. At that time they watched pretty well everyone. One day they threw me out of manufacturing as well. The reasons were prosaic, ‘I had studied during the First Republic’ and I had ‘helped’ Fascists. So the fact that after the war we’d been rounding up Fascists to put them on trial had turned against me.

After two years in manufacturing I met up with an acquaintance of mine, a doctor. We’d met each other before. We began talking and so she learned that I was actually ‘on the street.’ She told me she’d help me. I was to drink some really strong coffee, and she’d send me for an EKG. So I did this, and after the coffee my heart began pounding, which showed up on the EKG. She wrote down that my health wasn’t in order and that I need different work. Thanks to this lady doctor, in 1954 I got into geodetics as a draftsman. A draftsman still qualified as a worker in manufacturing.

After some time they asked me whether I’d like to do different work. I answered that yes, but that I can’t. I’ve got to work in manufacturing. The director was a decent person, a Russian immigrant from the First Republic, Mr. Borovsky. He arranged permission for me, I think that it was a decree from the Ministry of Labor and Social Affairs, that I was also allowed to work in a different area. Borovsky was supposed to gradually start up a new company, though as a surveyor he didn’t understand economics. I of course helped him, like he had me. Finally the Regional Geodetic and Cartographic Institute was created. I was then employed in this resort for 31 years. I worked my way up through various positions to head economist. We built one seven-story building, 21 multi-story buildings and nine cottages. In those days I of course already knew that socialism won’t save the human race, that a different era had to come.

I married my wife on 8th April 1946. We’ve been together 60 years now. Her maiden name was Anna Krajcova. She was born in 1923 in Pukanec. Only one Jew lived in Pukanec before the war, Neumann, a doctor, who was helped very much by the residents during the war. We agreed on our wedding as follows. On Saturday, 6th April, I called her. In those days people still worked on Saturdays. ‘On Monday we’re getting married!’ She says, ‘Who?’ ‘Well, you and I.’ ‘What’s gotten into you?’ ‘You don’t want to?’ ‘I do, and what should I do?’ ‘Dress decently and on Monday at 9 we’re going to city hall.’ On Monday we went to city hall and got married. From city hall each one of us went to his own work and after lunch we had a get-together for our friends. About 25 people came. Back then I had a bachelor apartment. In the evening we went dancing and my wife got an armful of flowers.

At the end of the war, my wife had been working as a seamstress at the Hanka Salon. Of course, all the unpleasantness that I experienced from the year 1944, when we met, affected her as well. We lived through it together. In the end we overcame it all. We had two daughters, the first one in 1948 and the second in 1953. During my persecution we were thrown out of our apartment. My wife moved with our older daughter to Pukanec, where our second daughter was born. We were separated. During the week I worked, and on Saturday after lunch I traveled to Pukanec to see my family. On Sunday evening I again left for Bratislava. The girls cried each time I left. When we then returned back to Bratislava, we had to fight with great effort to get an apartment. Here you have to ‘fight’ for everything.

Before our departure for Pukanec, we lived on Kupelna Street. In the neighborhood there lived an old lady whose son had been murdered by the Russians. After the war the boy had been driving from Bratislava to Piestany to see his girlfriend. On the way there, he was stopped by Russian soldiers. Most likely they wanted his car. He didn’t give it to them, and so they shot him. Our neighbor, his mother, took such a liking to me that she saw her son in me. Once she called me, she was lying helpless on the ground. She’d had a heart attack. My wife then took care of her until she died.

Our older daughter, Minka [Mina], in Old German Liebe, was born in Bratislava. We named her after my mother, rest her soul. Our younger daughter is named Evicka [Eva], and was born in Pukanec. Both of our daughters got a Jewish upbringing. They got it because I say that I never had to be ashamed of my father nor my mother! They lived courageously. There was never a single person in the world that could say something bad about them.

I was a member of the Jewish Religious Community in Bratislava from 1945. My wife also became a member, as a non-Jew. My wife is Protestant by origin. In the beginning we observed holidays in the sense that we went to synagogue. We met up with many friends from the Sixth Battalion. I didn’t visit the synagogue because of religious convictions, but because of friends. My wife went with me.

When the children were small, we observed all Jewish and non-Jewish holidays. When our daughters Minka and Evicka went to Pukanec to their grandmother’s place for summer holidays, they prayed together with their grandma. Granny, being a Protestant, taught them this prayer: ‘My guardian angel, take care of my soul, so that I’ll be clean for Moses Christ. Amen.’ She used to say to them, ‘Children of mine, you can’t upset either of the Gods.’ With us, religion was never a problem. We were atheists! Where was God when they were trampling my brave mother?

Both of our daughters attended elementary school in Bratislava. They were very good students. The older one had a certain talent that was already apparent at a very young age. Always, when we put on a record on which a certain Katz sang, she cried. Katz apparently sang over the graves of Jews when they were killing them in the concentration camp. He sang so heartrendingly, that one of the SS soldiers didn’t shoot him with the others. Once we put this record on when our friend, the lawyer Dr. Sabinsky was visiting us. Minka, who was still in diapers, again started crying loudly. No one knew why. We thought that she had a stomachache. The record finished, and the crying stopped. Sabinsky said, ‘Put that record on again.’ Minka again started to cry. That voice, that sad voice, so touched her that she started crying. Sabinsky proclaimed that this child was going to be a musician. Later his words were confirmed. We still have that record, though by now it’s very worn.

After elementary school we were considering what next, what school should we send the girls to? We tried to guide them from childhood. For example, for Minka I carved a thermometer and stethoscope out of wood, so that she’d have something to play with. Maybe it would lead her to medicine. So we got to the subject of what she’d like to be. She answered, ‘Well, you don’t have money, so I’ll take music.’ ‘What, music?’ ‘You can’t afford a piano, so I’ll take the accordion.’ We bought her an accordion. First a 32-bass one, then a 60-bass, and finally a 120-bass Weltmeister. So all told, it cost us as much as one piano. At the conservatory she had an excellent teacher, a person worth her weight in gold. She was named Szokeova. She taught her the accordion. Minka considered her to be her second mother. To this day, she’s building on what that teacher gave her. Minka finished conservatory and in 1968 27 she traveled to Israel, as a reward for promoting culture among young people in the Jewish community. She’d sit down at a piano, or pick up the accordion, and play. Young people danced and had fun. Finally she also managed to finish Music University in Dortmund, Germany.

Both our daughters were raised in the spirit of ‘don’t start anything, but if someone was insulting them, to hold their own.’ We instilled this in them since they were little. Once in school some boy was calling Evicka names, that she was a Jewess. She knocked him to the ground, kneeled down on him and gave him a proper thrashing. When she came home, she of course told us everything. Our children confided in us with everything. The next day, comrade principal Pijakova summoned me to the school, back then people still used to say comrade principal. When I arrived, I said, ‘Comrade principal, I know why you’ve called me, and I’m telling you right now that I’m not going to punish my daughter, as there’s no reason to!’ ‘But, that boy has a weak heart.’ ‘We brought up our daughter this way, and she’s not someone that gives up without a fight. The boy was insulting her, and she won’t stand for that. So much for the worse that his father is a party official.’ But in the end the principal and I parted amiably.

Perhaps it won’t do any harm if here we get ahead of ourselves and touch upon a theme that ‘sapienti sat’ [Latin: ‘a word to the wise is sufficient’] will indicate something. When she was eleven, our granddaughter Esterka [Ester, the daughter of Mina Neustadt, nee Knezova-Schönbrunova] told us that someone had attacked her classmate, who is from Asia, whose side she took with these words: ‘Why don’t you leave her alone, she’s just a person like we are, her skin’s just a little differently colored...’

Our younger daughter liked sports from the time she was little. This she’s obviously inherited from me. From the time she was little she used to go play soccer with boys. Once after school they came for her, to come play with them. But we raised our daughters that work came first, obligations and then fun. So she told them that until the house is clean, she’s not going anywhere. In the meantime, my wife returned home, and saw that there were ten boys cleaning our place. Evicka said to her, ‘I’ve got a brigade. They want me to go play soccer with them.’ After the cleaning was done my wife told her that everything was fine and that she could go. Our daughter took sports so seriously that she wanted to study physical education. We tried to convince her that she should first of all have – as they say, ‘bread in her hands,’ and after that everything else. First she graduated from civil engineering tech school, and after that the Faculty of Physical Education at university. Finally she also did Hotel Academy.

When the children were small, we used to take them on walks out into the country. Every Saturday, every Sunday, we spent outside. My wife cooked and baked things in advance, and off we went. We also used to go to many sports events, be it soccer, hockey but also other sports. I very much liked sports as such, as I myself liked to play sports. I used to go to international matches, whether Prague or Budapest. I those days, train tickets were good for three days. So on Friday I’d go on a business trip, on Saturday or Sunday there’d be an international soccer match, and on Sunday after the game, I went back home, no problem.

I always rooted for good sportsmanship. I couldn’t stand injustice and brutality. I liked Puskas [Ferenc] and Sarosi [Gyorgy], Sindelar, Piola, Svoboda and others. I also remember a historical soccer match between Czechoslovakia and Hungary in Budapest. Czechoslovakia lost 8:3. Doctor Sarosi, who was a high school teacher by profession, scored on Planicka seven times. That was something, to score on Planicka. He scored seven of them in one game! [During this soccer game, which took place on 19th September 1935 in Budapest, the Czechoslovak team suffered their worst loss in the history of Czechoslovak soccer.]

To this day, still remember the team rosters from the World Cup in 1934 in Italy, when we lost to Italy. Playing for Italy were: Combi, Monzeglio, Allemandi, Ferraris, L. Monti, Bertolini, Guaita, Maezza, Schiavio, Giovanni, Ferrari, Orsi. For Czechoslovakia: Planicka, Ctyroky, Zenisek, Kostalek, Cambal, Krcil, Junek, Svoboda, Sobotka, Nejedly and Puc. [The final game of the World Cup in soccer, Italy – Czechoslovakia, took place on 10th June 1934 in Rome. The home team won 2:1, when Schiavo scored during overtime.] It’s interesting, that this I remember, but not some things from yesterday. That’s apparently a law. You can’t do anything about it.

While still in Bratislava, Minka met this one decent local Jewish boy. They went out for three years, until as a university student he went to Dortmund for summer work experience. Finally he decided to stay there and study, with the agreement of the appropriate officials here. A very clever and good student, he continued his studies in natural sciences at the university there. In 1968 Minka went to Israel. She was also there with the agreement of our pertinent officials for a half year, and she liked it there very much. She worked in kibbutzim and people grew very fond of her. She played various musical instruments like the accordion, piano, organ and flute. She was able to make sure that people had fun and in a good mood. Finally she and her boyfriend agreed that she’d travel to Germany to be with him and that they’d study there together. Of course, I wanted her to come home, to return. Well, her destiny was apparently there. She moved to Germany, where they got married.

Her husband is named Tominko [Tomas] Neustadt. He’s two years older than Minka. I was very, very unhappy when Minka emigrated despite being summoned by our officials to return. I took it very hard. I was more than just sad. My wife was also so unhappy because of it that she fell ill, but I have to honestly admit, that though she wasn’t any less unhappy than I, she weighed it realistically. I saw that my love, my firstborn, is leaving me. Is this possible? And it was possible, but that’s life. Luckily they were both well-liked and one of Tomas’s professors at university helped them immensely. Minka’s principal, who called her ‘Sonnenschein’ [Sunshine], also helped them. They gave them various options and advice, so that they could make something of themselves.

In time they had two children, Daniel and Ester. Daniel is 33 and is a music and English teacher. Ester is 28. She recently finished university; she studied music and history. Their mother tongue is German. But they also speak Slovak, with mistakes of course. All the more lovely. The times we’ve laughed at the muddles they’ve made in their ‘Slovak.’ I even wrote those muddles down. Daniel has already started his own family. His wife is named Katrin and they have two children. The boy is named Jakob and the little girl is Ella. So now I’ve become ‘Opa Bercinko’ [Grandpa Bercinko].

In 1969 a friend of my older daughter’s was getting married in Vienna. At that time Minka and her husband already couldn’t come to Bratislava. So we went to Devin, they were on one side of the Danube and we the parents on the other, and so we were waving at each other. Suddenly some soldier with a dog walked up and said, ‘Who were you waving at? Are you signaling someone?’ We answered, ‘We were just waving, people were waving, so we waved back.’ ‘They’re not some sort of signals?’ ‘No, no.’ Soon an already alarmed officer with five soldiers arrived. They had bayonets on their rifles. At that time we were afraid, as the times weren’t good. We didn’t know what was going to come of it. In the end he was decent enough to just ask us to leave. My wife was crying on the Slovak side. Minka was crying on the other side of the Danube. But there were also other people there, who were waving to each other like this and weeping.

Our younger daughter left for Israel in 1969 through the Jewish community. Visas were issued in Vienna. They weren’t hard to get at all. The bigger problem was with Czechoslovak officials, where it was necessary to be issued an exit permit. Finally she did get to Israel, but returned still that same year. During her university studies she used to go to the Tatras for ski lessons. There she met one older, divorced man from Brezno. He drank a lot and Evicka wanted to break his habit, but she didn’t succeed. He reported her, that she wanted to escape abroad. Finally they broke up.

Then she wanted to go join her sister in the West, but that was no longer possible. In order to get an exit permit she decided to enter into a false marriage with a Yugoslav citizen. She managed to get a permit to travel to Yugoslavia. For from there it was easier to travel to the West. At the beginning of the 1970s she finally got to Germany. In the beginning she lived with her sister in Dortmund. Finally she married this one friend by the name of Désiré Blitz. He’s from Holland. Désiré is a French name and means desired. This was because at a ripe old age his father had managed, besides daughters, to have a son. Désiré is a mixed Jew. He works as a manager, apparently he’s successful. Evicka is a housewife. He and Evicka were married in 1995 in Bratislava. They were married by the current mayor of Bratislava, Mr. Durkovsky. I have to touch wood; she’s got a very good husband. We’re very happy that her life has turned out well.

After my wife and I met, we set a goal that we’d travel a lot, see the world. That resolution of ours has also been kept. We’ve traveled through many countries. Our first trip, after the war, was to Switzerland. We actually planned this trip, in 1946, as our honeymoon. It was like a fairy tale. In 1947 we visited Paris. We were lined up there for movie tickets to the world premiere of ‘Rebecca,’ and standing in front of us in the queue was a couple of around the same age. They were slobbering over each other in public. My wife and I didn’t know where we should look, it was strange for us. People didn’t do things like that at the time here, though now they do.

There were years when we weren’t allowed to go abroad. So we crisscrossed all of Slovakia and Czechia. During hard times my wife and I helped our friends who had emigrated after 1968. We obtained various documents for them and sent them to them. Later, to return the favor, they even invited us to the USA a few times. When I was in the Jewish neighborhood in New York, I had the feeling that if I just walked down the street, I’d meet people I know from Michalovce... We were in Israel and in various other countries. One of them is for example Mongolia. Once we were notified at work that there was one free place to go there. No one applied, so I took it. An interesting experience, a Communist country with many Buddhist monks. Unfortunately Mongolia is a very backward country.

I worked for the Geodetic Institute after I retired as well. The last director, who recognized my talent for drawing, asked me if I wouldn’t put together a company chronicle. In the beginning I didn’t think much of this, but I took it as fun. Finally I immersed myself in it to the degree that I began to truly devote myself to it fully. To this day at the Geodetic Institute they’re proud of that chronicle, which is located in the institute’s boardroom. While I was working on that chronicle I got into it to the degree that I decided to put together a family chronicle, which I’m very proud of. Finally I also made chronicles for our daughters.

As I’ve already mentioned, during the time of the Slovak State, we were members of the Sixth Battalion. After the war many of us moved away. The emigrants kept in touch with each other. In Tel Aviv they met every Friday, and they even had two worldwide gatherings. We who stayed here were isolated and didn’t dare to meet publicly. Among us there were even those that denied being in the Sixth Battalion. After the Velvet Revolution 28, emigrants began to visit our spas and so we established contact with them.

In 1992 we finally managed to get a few boys from the Sixth Battalion together. It was due to the impetus and money of one of us, a friend from the USA, by the name of Pivko, originally Pick. Besides the fact that he was rich, he had an excellent Jewish heart. With his money, we were able to support boys that were badly off, and widows of Sixth Battalion members that were in financial need. We also organized a reunion in Czechoslovakia, with many international participants, with his money. The reunion took place in 1992 in Piestany. Other conferences and reunions were in Bratislava. Within the scope of Sixth Battalion activities, in twelve years we did a lot of work in the interests of Sixth Battalion members and their widows. With the participation of many prominent Slovak historians and resistance members, we filled in many blank spots in the history of the creation, existence and dissolution of the Sixth Jewish Labor Battalion. In this way we also helped to bring to light part of Slovakia’s history. We also documented the participation of Jewish boys in the resistance, as well as how many of them fell. We gained valuable materials from military archives.

I was chairman of the Sixth Battalion for the entire twelve years. This was only possible because my wife helped me the entire time as well. Unfortunately our ranks are shrinking and now basically only my friend Bachnar, the widow Mrs. Borska and I devote ourselves to the Sixth Battalion. With the remnants of the money that we have, we’d like to have one more memorial plaque made, which we’d then have placed on Kozia Street in the building of the Central Federation of Jewish Religious Communities or in the building of the Museum of Jewish Culture in Bratislava. The first memorial plaque is in the Museum of the Slovak National Uprising in Banska Bystrica.

We wanted to succeed in having our being put in the Sixth Battalion recognized by the state as a stay in a labor camp. Government representatives were very much against it. For a long time they refused to accept this idea from the Central Federation of Jewish Religious Communities, until we with great vehemence joined the effort, then things began moving. At a meeting with the Minister of Justice, Lipsic 29, we presented this request. Lipsic [Lipschitz] is originally from a Jewish family, but doesn’t admit to it. Finally, making use of documents from military archives, we managed to have ourselves put into a category that despite not having been in a concentration camp also got satisfaction in the form of compensation. Of assistance in this was a clause in the law which states that ‘also those, who were prepared for transport, and who were known to be going there,’ were also eligible for compensation, so we were also classified as such. The widows of our friends that hadn’t lived to receive it were also classified in this category.

Basically, we can thank the then minister of defense, General Catlos, that the entire Sixth Battalion didn’t end up in a concentration camp in 1942. He announced at the request of the Minister of the Interior of the Slovak State that the Sixth Battalion should be prepared for deportation, that the Sixth Battalion will go as the last transport of Jews from Slovakia. But that didn’t happen, they didn’t get to it! Luckily for us!

Glossary:

1 Orthodox communities

The traditionalist Jewish communities founded their own Orthodox organizations after the Universal Meeting in 1868-1869.They organized their life according to Judaist principles and opposed to assimilative aspirations. The community leaders were the rabbis. The statute of their communities was sanctioned by the king in 1871. In the western part of Hungary the communities of the German and Slovakian immigrants’ descendants were formed according to the Western Orthodox principles. At the same time in the East, among the Jews of Galician origins the ‘eastern’ type of Orthodoxy was formed; there the Hassidism prevailed. In time the Western Orthodoxy also spread over to the eastern part of Hungary. 294 Orthodox mother-communities and 1,001 subsidiary communities were registered all over Hungary, mainly in Transylvania and in the north-eastern part of the country, in 1896. In 1930 30,4 % of Hungarian Jews belonged to 136 mother-communities and 300 subsidiary communities. This number increased to 535 Orthodox communities in 1944, including 242,059 believers (46 %).
2 Subcarpathian Ruthenia: is found in the region where the Carpathian Mountains meet the Central Dnieper Lowlands. Its larger towns are Beregovo, Mukacevo and Hust. Up until the First World War the region belonged to the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy, but in the year 1919, according to the St. Germain peace treaty, was made a part of Czechoslovakia. Exact statistics regarding ethnic and linguistic composition of the population aren’t available. Between the two World Wars Ruthenia’s inhabitants included Hungarians, Ruthenians, Russians, Ukrainians, Czechs and Slovaks, plus numerous Jewish and Gypsy communities. The first Viennese Arbitration (1938) gave Hungary that part of Ruthenia inhabited by Hungarians. The remainder of the region gained autonomy within  Czechoslovakia, and was occupied by Hungarian troops. In 1944 the Soviet Army and local resistance units took power in Ruthenia. According to an agreement dated June 29, 1945, Czechoslovakia ceded the region to the Soviet Union. Up until 1991 it was a part of the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic. After Ukraine declared its independence, it became one of the country’s administrative regions.
3 Deportation of Jews from the Slovak State: The size of the Jewish community in the Slovak State in 1939 was around 89,000 residents (according to the 1930 census – it was around 135,000 residents), while after the First Vienna Decision in November 1938, around 40,000 Jews were on the territory gained by Hungary. At a government session on 24th March 1942, the Minister of the Interior, A. Mach, presented a proposed law regarding the expulsion of Jews. From March 1942 to October 1942, 58 transports left Slovakia, and 57,628 people (2/3 of the Jewish population) were deported. The deportees, according to a constitutional law regarding the divestment of state citizenship, could take with them only 50 kg of precisely specified personal property. The Slovak government paid Nazi Germany a ‘settlement’ subsidy, 500 RM (around 5,000 Sk in the currency of the time) for each person. Constitutional law legalized deportations. After the deportations, not even 20,000 Jews remained in Slovakia. In the fall of 1944 – after the arrival of the Nazi army on the territory of Slovakia, which suppressed the Slovak National Uprising – deportations were renewed. This time the Slovak side fully left their realization to Nazi Germany. In the second phase of 1944-1945, 13,500 Jews were deported from Slovakia, with about 1000 Jewish persons being executed directly on Slovak territory. About 10,000 Jewish citizens were saved thanks to the help of the Slovak populace. (Source: Niznansky, Eduard: Zidovska komunita na Slovensku 1939-1945)

4 First Czechoslovak Republic (1918-1938)

The First Czechoslovak Republic was created after the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy following World War I. The union of the Czech lands and Slovakia was officially proclaimed in Prague in 1918, and formally recognized by the Treaty of St. Germain in 1919. Ruthenia was added by the Treaty of Trianon in 1920. Czechoslovakia inherited the greater part of the industries of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy and the new government carried out an extensive land reform, as a result of which the living conditions of the peasantry increasingly improved. However, the constitution of 1920 set up a highly centralized state and failed to take into account the issue of national minorities, and thus internal political life was dominated by the struggle of national minorities (especially the Hungarians and the Germans) against Czech rule. In foreign policy Czechoslovakia kept close contacts with France and initiated the foundation of the Little Entente in 1921.

5 Slovak State (1939-1945)

Czechoslovakia, which was created after the disintegration of Austria-Hungary, lasted until it was broken up by the Munich Pact of 1938; Slovakia became a separate (autonomous) republic on 6th October 1938 with Jozef Tiso as Slovak PM. Becoming suspicious of the Slovakian moves to gain independence, the Prague government applied martial law and deposed Tiso at the beginning of March 1939, replacing him with Karol Sidor. Slovakian personalities appealed to Hitler, who used this appeal as a pretext for making Bohemia, Moravia and Silesia a German protectorate. On 14th March 1939 the Slovak Diet declared the independence of Slovakia, which in fact was a nominal one, tightly controlled by Nazi Germany.

6 Miedzyrzec Podlaski

is a town in the Lublin province of eastern Poland. At the outbreak of the war, there were about 12,000 Jews in the town. During the first year of the Nazi occupation, about 4,000 Jews from other places were deported to the town, including about 1,000 from Slovakia. A ghetto was created in the summer of 1942. Deportations to Treblinka began in August 1942, and the ghetto was liquidated in November 1942. Over 11,000 Jews perished in these deportations.
7 Masaryk, Tomas Garrigue (1850-1937): Czechoslovak political leader and philosopher and chief founder of the First Czechoslovak Republic. He founded the Czech People’s Party in 1900, which strove for Czech independence within the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy, for the protection of minorities and the unity of Czechs and Slovaks. After the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy in 1918, Masaryk became the first president of Czechoslovakia. He was reelected in 1920, 1927, and 1934. Among the first acts of his government was an extensive land reform. He steered a moderate course on such sensitive issues as the status of minorities, especially the Slovaks and Germans, and the relations between the church and the state. Masaryk resigned in 1935 and Edvard Benes, his former foreign minister, succeeded him.
8 Maccabi Sports Club in the Czechoslovak Republic: The Maccabi World Union was founded in 1903 in Basel aT the VI. Zionist Congress. In 1935 the Maccabi World Union had 100,000 members, 10,000 of which were in Czechoslovakia. Physical education organizations in Bohemia have their roots in the 19th century. For example, the first Maccabi gymnastic club in Bohemia was founded in 1899. The first sport club, Bar Kochba, was founded in 1893 in Moravia. The total number of Maccabi clubs in Bohemia and Moravia before WWI was fifteen. The Czechoslovak Maccabi Union was officially founded in June 1924, and in the same year became a member of the Maccabi World Union, located in Berlin.
9 Sokol: One of the best-known Czech sports organizations. It was founded in 1862 as the first physical educational organization in the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy. Besides regular training of all age groups, units organized sports competitions, colorful gymnastics rallies, cultural events including drama, literature and music, excursions and youth camps. Although its main goal had always been the promotion of national health and sports, Sokol also played a key role in the national resistance to the Austro-Hungarian Empire, the Nazi occupation and the communist regime. Sokol flourished between the two World Wars; its membership grew to over a million. Important statesmen, including the first two presidents of interwar Czechoslovakia, Tomas Masaryk and Edvard Benes, were members of Sokol. Sokol was banned three times: during World War I, during the Nazi occupation and finally by the communists after 1948, but branches of the organization continued to exist abroad. Sokol was restored in 1990.
10 Hashomer Hatzair in Slovakia: the Hashomer Hatzair movement came into being in Slovakia after WWI. It was Jewish youths from Poland, who on their way to Palestine crossed through Slovakia and here helped to found a Zionist youth movement, that took upon itself to educate young people via scouting methods, and called itself Hashomer (guard). It joined with the Kadima (forward) movement in Ruthenia. The combined movement was called Hashomer Kadima. Within the membership there were several ideologues that created a dogma that was binding for the rest of the members. The ideology was based on Borchov’s theory that the Jewish nation must also become a nation just like all the others. That’s why the social pyramid of the Jewish nation had to be turned upside down. He claimed that the base must be formed by those doing manual labor, especially in agriculture – that is why young people should be raised for life in kibbutzim, in Palestine. During its time of activity it organized six kibbutzim: Shaar Hagolan, Dfar Masaryk, Maanit, Haogen, Somrat and Lehavot Chaviva, whose members settled in Palestine. From 1928 the movement was called Hashomer Hatzair (Young Guard). From 1938 Nazi influence dominated in Slovakia. Zionist youth movements became homes for Jewish youth after their expulsion from high schools and universities. Hashomer Hatzair organized high school courses, re-schooling centers for youth, summer and winter camps. Hashomer Hatzair members were active in underground movements in labor camps, and when the Slovak National Uprising broke out, they joined the rebel army and partisan units. After liberation the movement renewed its activities, created youth homes in which lived mainly children who returned from the camps without their parents, organized re-schooling centers and branches in towns. After the putsch in 1948 that ended the democratic regime, half of Slovak Jews left Slovakia. Among them were members of Hashomer Hatzair. In the year 1950 the movement ended its activity in Slovakia.

11 Betar

Brith Trumpledor (Hebrew) meaning Trumpledor Society; right-wing Revisionist Jewish youth movement. It was founded in 1923 in Riga by Vladimir Jabotinsky, in memory of J. Trumpledor, one of the first fighters to be killed in Palestine, and the fortress Betar, which was heroically defended for many months during the Bar Kohba uprising. Its aim was to propagate the program of the revisionists and prepare young people to fight and live in Palestine. It organized emigration through both legal and illegal channels. It was a paramilitary organization; its members wore uniforms. They supported the idea to create a Jewish legion in order to liberate Palestine. From 1936-39 the popularity of Betar diminished. During WWII many of its members formed guerrilla groups.

12 Mizrachi

The word has two meanings: a) East. It designates the Jews who immigrate to Palestine from the Arab countries. Since the 1970s they make up more than half of the Israeli population. b) It is the movement of the Zionists, who firmly hold on to the Torah and the traditions. The movement was founded in 1902 in Vilnius. The name comes from the abbreviation of the Hebrew term Merchoz Ruchoni (spiritual center). The Mizrachi wanted to build the future Jewish state by enforcing the old Jewish religious, cultural and legal regulations. They recruited followers especially in Eastern Europe and the United States. In the year after its founding it had 200 organizations in Europe, and in 1908 it opened an office in Palestine too. The first congress of the World Movement was held in 1904 in Pozsony (today Bratislava, Slovakia), where they joined the Basel program of the Zionists, but they emphasized that the Jewish nation had to stand on the grounds of the Torah and the traditions. The aim of the Mizrach-Mafdal movement is the same in our days too. It supports schools, youth organizations in Israel and in other countries, so that the Jewish people can learn about their religion, and it takes part in the political life of Israel, promoting by this the traditional image of the Jewish state. (Sources: http://www.mizrachi.org/aboutus/default.asp; www.cionista.hu/mizrachi.htm; Magyar Zsidó Lexikon, Budapest, 1929).
13 Jewish Codex: Jewish Codex: Order no. 198 of the Slovakian government, issued in September 1941, on the legal status of the Jews, went down in history as Jewish Codex. Based on the Nuremberg Laws, it was one of the most stringent and inhuman anti-Jewish laws all over Europe. It paraphrased the Jewish issue on a racial basis, religious considerations were fading into the background; categories of Jew, Half Jew, moreover 'Mixture' were specified by it. The majority of the 270 paragraphs dealt with the transfer of Jewish property (so-called Aryanizing; replacing Jews by non-Jews) and the exclusion of Jews from economic, political and public life.
14 First Vienna Decision: On 2nd November 1938 a German-Italian international committee in Vienna obliged Czechoslovakia to surrender much of the southern Slovakian territories that were inhabited mainly by Hungarians. The cities of Kassa (Kosice), Komarom (Komarno), Ersekujvar (Nove Zamky), Ungvar (Uzhorod) and Munkacs (Mukacevo), all in all 11.927 km² of land, and a population of 1.6 million people became part of Hungary. According to the Hungarian census in 1941 84% of the people in the annexed lands were Hungarian-speaking.
15 Hlinka-Guards: Military group under the leadership of the radical wing of the Slovakian Popular Party. The radicals claimed an independent Slovakia and a fascist political and public life. The Hlinka-Guards deported brutally, and without German help, 58,000 (according to other sources 68,000) Slovak Jews between March and October 1942.
16 HSLS, The Hlinka Slovak People’s Party: a political party founded in 1918 as the Slovak People’s Party, in 1925 the HSLS. Had an anti-communist, anti-socialist orientation, based itself on Catholic ideology, and demanded Slovakia’s autonomy. From 1938 assumed a prominent position in Slovakia, in 1939 introduced an authoritarian one-party regime, its ideology was a mixture of clericalism, nationalism and fascism. Its leader until 1938 was Andrej Hlinka, after him Jozef Tiso. The HSLS founded two mass organizations: the Hlinka Guards, a copy of the German Sturmabteilung, and the Hlinka Youth, a copy of the German Hitlerjugend. After the liberation of Czechoslovakia in 1945, it was banned and its highest officials put on trial.

17 Sixth Labor Battalion of Jews

the first discriminatory legal statute of the Slovak State in the army was the government decree No. 74 Sl. z., dated 24th April 1939, regarding the expulsion of Jews from public services. On 21st June 1939 a second legal statute was passed, government decree No. 150 Sl. z. regarding Jews’ military responsibilities. On its basis all Jews in the army were transferred to special work formations. Decree 230/1939 Sl. z. stripped Jewish persons of rank. All stated laws were part of the racially discriminatory legal framework of the Slovak State. In 1939, 1940 and 1941 three years of Jewish draftees entered army work formations, which formed the so-called Sixth Battalion. The year 1942 did not enter, as its members were assigned to the first transports. The first mass concentration of Jewish draftees into an army work formation was on 3rd March 1941 in the town of Cemerne. On 31st May 1943 three Jewish companies were transferred to work centers of the Ministry of the Interior watched over by the Hlinka Guard. Most members were transferred to labor camps: Novaky, Sered, Kostolna and Vyhne. A large majority of them later participated in fighting during the Slovak National Uprising. (Source: Knezo Schönbrun, Bernard, Zidia v siestom robotnom prapore, In. Zidia v interakcii II., IJ UK Bratislava, 1999, pp. 63 – 80)

18 Siroky, Viliam (1902–1971)

from 1921 a member and apparatchik of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia (KSC). 1939–1940 member of the foreign secretariat of the KSC in Paris, 1940–1941 member of the Moscow leadership of the KSC. In 1941 he was sent to Slovakia to manage the illegal activities of the Communist Party of Slovakia (KSS) there, but was soon after arrested and jailed until 1945. In February 1945 he managed to escape from jail with the help of Slovak resistance members, and joined the Soviet army. From 1945–1954 the chairman of the KSS, 1945 and 1948–1963 a member of the presidium of the KSC Central Committee. 1945–1953 deputy premier, 1950–1953 Minister of Foreign Affairs, 1953–1963 premier; 1945–1964 a member of the National Assembly. Held a significant amount of responsibility for injustices and political despotism in the 1940s and 1950s, participated in the preparation of show trials and the campaign against ‘Slovak bourgeois nationalism.’ In September 1963 removed from state and party functions and withdrew from public life. (Source: http://wtd.vlada.cz/scripts/detail.php?id=444)

19 Catlos, Ferdinand (1895–1972)

Czechoslovak officer, Slovak general and politician. During WWI he fought in the Austro-Hungarian Army at the Russian front. Graduated from Military College in France. In March 1938 (at that time he had the rank of Lieutenant-Colonel of the General Staff) he was named General I. Class of the Slovak State and simultaneously became the Minister of National Defense. He fully participated in activities of the Slovak Army during the German-Polish War and also had a hand in the sending of Slovak soldiers to the Eastern Front after 1941. In 1944 he attempted to contact the resistance. After the liberation, he was put on trial within the scope of the retribution decree, and was jailed during the years 1945-1948. He then worked as a civil servant in Martin, and died in obscurity.
20 Slovak Uprising: At Christmas 1943 the Slovak National Council was formed, consisting of various oppositional groups (communists, social democrats, agrarians etc.). Their aim was to fight the Slovak fascist state. The uprising broke out in Banska Bystrica, central Slovakia, on 20th August 1944. On 18th October the Germans launched an offensive. A large part of the regular Slovak army joined the uprising and the Soviet Army also joined in. Nevertheless the Germans put down the riot and occupied Banska Bystrica on 27th October, but weren’t able to stop the partisan activities. As the Soviet army was drawing closer many of the Slovak partisans joined them in Eastern Slovakia under either Soviet or Slovak command.
21 St. Cyril and Methodius: Greek monks from Salonika, living in the 9th century. In order to convert the Slavs to Christianity the two brothers created the Slavic (Glagolitic) script, based on the Greek one, and translated many religious texts to Old Church Slavonic, which is the liturgical language of many of the Eastern Orthodox Churches up until today. After Bulgaria converted to Christianity under Boris in 865, his son and successor Simeon I supported the further development of Slavic liturgical works, which led to a refinement of the Slavic literary language and a simplification of the alphabet - The Cyrillic script, named in honor of St. Cyril. The Cyrillic alphabet today is used in Orthodox Slavic countries such as Bulgaria, Serbia, Macedonia, Montenegro, Russia, Ukraine and Belarus. It is also used by some non-Slavic countries previously part of the Soviet Union, as well as most linguistic minorities within Russia and also the country of Mongolia.
22 February 1948: Communist take-over in Czechoslovakia. The 'people’s domocracy' became one of the Soviet satelites in Eastern Europe. The state aparatus was centralized under the leadership of the Czechoslovak Communist Party (KSC). In the economy private ovnership was banned and submitted to central planning. The state took control of the educational system, too. Political opposition and dissident elements were persecuted.

23 Population exchange between Czechoslovakia and Hungary

Eduard Benes, president of Czechoslovakia, besides deportations of the German populace also promoted the displacement of citizens of Hungarian nationality, living predominantly on the territory of Slovakia. He was convinced that the collective blame for events that took place during WWII doesn’t apply only to Germans, but also Hungarians, who thus cannot lay claim to rights belonging to national minorities in Czechoslovakia. Pursuant to the agreement of 27th February 1946, he intended to displace as many Hungarians in Czechoslovakia as the number of Slovaks living in Hungary that had requested to return to their native land. Official Hungarian and Slovak sources regarding the population exchange differ, however. While the Hungarians state that 60,257 residents of Slovak nationality(1) moved from Hungarian territory to former Czechoslovakia, Slovak sources state that their number was 73,233(2). According to Hungarian sources there were 76,616(1) residents of Hungarian nationality displaced from Czechoslovakia. Slovak sources state that their number was 89,660(2). Besides this, according to an audit made on 21st January 1949, there were 43,546 persons of Hungarian nationality transported from the territory of today’s Slovakia to the Czech lands between 19th November 1946 and 26th February 1947(3)
(1) Valuch Tibor: Magyarország társadalomtörténete a XX. század második felében, Budapest, 2001, Osiris, page 32
(2) Slovak National Archive Bratislava, f. GT, c. 522:  Správa Osídlovacieho uradu o ukoncení vymeny obyvatelstva medzi Ceskoslovenskom a Madarskom.
(3) Vadkerty Katalin: Madarská otázka v Ceskoslovensku 1944 – 1948, Bratislava, 2002, Kalligram, page 75
24 Forced displacement of Germans: one of the terms used to designate the mass deportations of German occupants from Czechoslovakia which took place after WWII, during the years 1945-1946. Despite the fact that anti-German sentiments were common in Czech society after WWII, the origin of the idea of resolving post-war relations between Czechs and Sudeten Germans with mass deportations are attributed to President Edvard Benes, who gradually gained the Allies’ support for his intent. The deportation of Germans from Czechoslovakia, together with deportations related to a change in Poland’s borders (about 5 million Germans) was the largest post-war transfer of population in Europe. During the years 1945-46 more than 3 million people had to leave Czechoslovakia; 250,000 Germans with limited citizenship rights were allowed to stay. (Source:http://cs.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vys%C3%ADdlen%C3%AD_N%C4%9Bmc%C5%AF_z_%C4%8Ceskoslovenska)

25 ‘Action 77,000’

A program organized by the communist regime, in which 77,000 people, judged to belong to the middle class, were dismissed from their administrative positions and were sent to do manual labor in factories. The rationale for this action was to degrade those that the regime regarded as intellectuals. Children of communist parents were given priority in admission to university, while children of middle-class parents were denied the possibility to pursue higher education, and, those who were already at university were often expelled.
26 Statni Tajna Bezpecnost: Czechoslovak intelligence and security service founded in 1948.
27 Prague Spring: A period of democratic reforms in Czechoslovakia, from January to August 1968. Reformatory politicians were secretly elected to leading functions of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia (KSC). Josef Smrkovsky became president of the National Assembly, and Oldrich Cernik became the Prime Minister. Connected with the reformist efforts was also an important figure on the Czechoslovak political scene, Alexander Dubcek, General Secretary of the KSC Central Committee (UV KSC). In April 1968 the UV KSC adopted the party’s Action Program, which was meant to show the new path to socialism. It promised fundamental economic and political reforms. On 21st March 1968, at a meeting of representatives of the USSR, Hungary, Poland, Bulgaria, East Germany and Czechoslovakia in Dresden, Germany, the Czechoslovaks were notified that the course of events in their country was not to the liking of the remaining conference participants, and that they should implement appropriate measures. In July 1968 a meeting in Warsaw took place, where the reformist efforts in Czechoslovakia were designated as ‘counter-revolutionary.’ The invasion of the USSR and Warsaw Pact armed forces on the night of 20th August 1968, and the signing of the so-called Moscow Protocol ended the process of democratization, and the Normalization period began.
28 Velvet Revolution: Also known as November Events, this term is used for the period between 17th November and 29th December 1989, which resulted in the downfall of the Czechoslovak communist regime. A non-violent political revolution in Czechoslovakia that meant the transition from Communist dictatorship to democracy. The Velvet Revolution began with a police attack against Prague students on 17th November 1989. That same month the citizen’s democratic movement Civic Forum (OF) in Czech and Public Against Violence (VPN) in Slovakia were formed. On 10th December a government of National Reconciliation was established, which started to realize democratic reforms. On 29th December Vaclav Havel was elected president. In June 1990 the first democratic elections since 1948 took place.
27 Lipsic, Daniel (b. 1973): a Slovak politician, former vice-premier of the Slovak Republic and minister of justice, currently (2006) vice-president of the Christian Democratic Movement (KDH).

Tomas Stern

Tomas Stern
Bratislava
Slovakia

My great-grandfather Adolf Stern was born on 28th February 1871 in Humenne,
the son of Moric Stern [1840-1922] and Helena or Leni Stern, nee Gutman
[1843-?]. He had five sisters and four brothers. Some of them died very
young.

 

Family background">Family background

Humenne is a small city in Eastern Slovakia. At the end of the 19th century
the Jews made up almost half of the city population. In 1930 there were
still some 1,800 Jews. The Stern family moved to Humenne at the end of the
18th century [according to Humenne district records in 1778] from Vilnius
[today Lithuania]. His name was Abraham Stern. He was a small merchant and
the grandfather of Moric Stern. About Moric Stern - his Jewish name was
Moses - I only know that he was the roshekol [head] of the local Jewish
community for many years. Later his son Adolf Stern [1871-1934] moved to
Opava. Opava is a city at the Czech-Polish border. They moved there either
because of some work opportunity or because they had some family there.
Then he lived for some time in Budapest and Vienna. In Budapest he studied
at the Academy of Commerce and later he worked as the director of the
Hungarian Trade and Lot Bank in Bratislava.

Moric Stern was the head of the Jewish Community in Humenne. The family
strictly observed Jewish traditions. In spite of this, his son Adolf Stern
studied in Vienna and became a progressive liberal. Along with Count
Richard Coudehove-Kalergi, he participated in the founding of Paneurope and
he was a member of its committee. Paneurope was the predecessor of the
later EU. Its idea is and always has been a united Europe. Adolf was a
member of the town commission for foreigners, a member of the Trade and
Industry Chamber and the member of the Paneurope Committee, about which he
held several lectures in Bratislava and in the country.

Adolf Stern got married in 1902, to Elizabeth Sternova, nee Willheim, who
was born in 1873 and died in 1959 in Great Britain. She left Slovakia after
the war. Her daughter Adriana Brodyova, nee Sternova, had left for Britain
with her husband earlier, in 1939. Her grandmother Antonia Bobretzky von
Arvenau [1781-1862] came from a Jewish-Polish noble family. Antonia's
sister Therese [1798-1886] married into the famous Jewish noble family of
Guttman. She was the grandmother of Elisabeth Guttman [1875-1947], whose
second husband was Prince Francis I of Liechtenstein [1853-1938]. It is
well known that she lived openly as a Jew in Liechtenstein, as the widow of
the late Prince even during World War II! One of her sisters, Rosalia,
married Markis Robert Fitzjames a direct descendent of the English King
Jacob II. Therese was a cousin of Elisabeth Willheim.

My great-grandparent's first-born son bled to death during his
circumcision. Then a daughter, Adriana, whom I mentioned before, was born
and the next son was Helmut Stern, my grandfather, born in 1906. My
grandfather escaped circumcision due to his father's decision and fear. His
father's decision saved his life during the Holocaust. He was captured with
his family in Hlohovec by Slovak guards 1 in order to be deported. As
soon as my grandfather proved that he wasn't circumcised and thus not
Jewish, he was free.

In 1896 Adolf Stern wrote a book entitled Tozsde keletkezese es annak
jelentosege [The creation of the stock market and its significance]. This
was a book about the stock market and apart from that he was the author of
many articles published in Hungarian, Slovak and German journals. He was
interested in sociology, he was a specialist in water transport, and in
1933 he wrote a very interesting book entitled Loesung des
Arbeitslosenproblems [Solution of the unemployment problem], which received
a sympathetic response in the journals of Central Europe. He also had many
lectures about his book broadcast on Bratislava Radio.

I would like to add that he regularly corresponded with several important
personalities of the period, namely with Sigrid Undset 2, Nobel Prize
winner in literature, and Gustav Streseman, Chancellor of the Weimar
Republic. Adolf died in Bratislava on 9th November 1934.

My grandfather, Helmut Stern, was born in Opava, when my great-grandfather
was working there. My grandfather attended the Czechoslovak State Trade
Academy in Bratislava from 1922-23. At least two thirds of the students
were of Jewish origin. The only person still alive from his class is Mr.
Marcel Kucera, who is about 90 now. After the war my grandfather worked as
an accountant. Later, due to his illness, he had to retire. He died in
1995.

He married Johanna Brodyova, born in 1903. She was called Janka in the
family. I have a very nice picture of them taken on a holiday in the Alps.
My grandfather, who was deeply devoted to Janka, cut out a miniature
portrait of her and stuck it to a portrait of my grandmother, just where
her heart is. My grandmother comes from Hlohovec, Western Slovakia, and my
grandfather Helmut Stern was born in Opava, Moravia, but the whole family
lived in Humenne, Eastern Slovakia.

My grandmother's family was one of the oldest families of Hlohovec.
Hlohovec is a small town some 50 kilometers from Bratislava. Its Jewish
community dates back to medieval times. Before the war some 1,000 Jews
lived in Hlohovec. My great-grandmother, Sofia Brodyova, nee Quitt, was
born in 1863 and died in 1923. Her husband was Jakob Brody [1861-1932],
who, as far as I know, owned a pub in Hlohovec. Their children were Jeno,
Katy, Bela, Viliam, Melania, Henrich, Ignac, Marcus and my grandmother
Janka.

An interesting fact was that two Brody siblings, Janka Brodyova and Viliam
Brody married two siblings of the Stern family in a mutual wedding. Viliam
married Adriana and Janka married my grandfather Helmut.

From 1917-1918, Viliam Brody attended Pozsonyi felso kereskedelmi iskola
[Academy of Commerce] in Bratislava. Most of the students were again of
Jewish origin.

Adriana spoke eleven languages fluently. In 1939 she left with her husband
for Great Britain (after my granduncle protected an old Jew beaten by
members of the Hlinka guards - he was a handsome tall man), where she was a
lecturer at university. Here she was a teacher at the secondary school on
Grosslingova Street in Bratislava. Adriana's life dream was to go on a
voyage on the river Rhine, and she did, and during this voyage she had a
heart attack and died. Viliam Brody established a small firm for typing
machines which later became a part of IBM. He died in Oxford in 1995. They
didn't have children.

Ignac Brody worked as a lawyer and left for Great Britain. He was famous
for his musical talent; he played the violin very well. He worked in the
emergency health service as simple medical assistant.

Marcus or Marci Brody, my grandmother's brother, graduated in 1907 in
Budapest and became a well-known lawyer in Bratislava. He is the only one
in our family to be buried in a Catholic cemetery because he married a
Catholic woman. He never converted and they had no children. He was the
only one in our family to be buried in a Catholic cemetery, called St.
Martin's cemetery in Bratislava, next to the Manderla grave.

The family traveled quite a bit. In 1921, they were on a holiday on the
northern coast of Germany, and in August 1923, my grandfather and his
friends were photographed in Karlsbad 3.

My father Juraj Stern was born during the war, in 1940, in Bratislava. Two
years later his brother Andrej, or Bandy, was born in Humenne, where the
family was hiding. He died on 16th August 1945 of an infection. During the
greater part of the war the family was hidden in Hlohovec by a Christian
family.

In 1941 my grandfather, his wife and his mother left for Michalovce, where
his family came from. My grandfather was living with false documents and a
false birth certificate that were provided by a Greek catholic priest. His
identity was disclosed soon, but he managed to escape and hide. He was
hiding in a flat in which only a thin wall separated him from one of the
high Nazi officers living next door. He had to live without moving around
too much and during that time he was able to learn to play chess, solve
various puzzles, and gain skills in high mathematics. After the war he was
able to surprise a number of his colleagues by the depth of his knowledge
that he gained during the six weeks of hiding.

There is another experience connected with Michalovce. My grandfather was
captured by Hlinka guards, but he realized that if he wanted to survive he
had to escape. He sent a message to my grandmother telling her how to get
him out by pretending to be a Red Cross employee carrying food baskets. She
was able to get in with a Red Cross crew and smuggle him out. Then they
were hiding in Hlohovec, where my grandmother was born. She told me one
story: when the family stayed in Hlohovec, she tried to go out to get some
food. She met a classmate of hers, who looked at her with surprise and
asked, 'How come you are still here?' This memory was very painful for my
grandmother even after the war. My family spent the last weeks of the war
in forests hiding in a potato pit.

In spite of the fact that my father was only four at that time, he vividly
remembers a few dramatic situations from that time and until now he cannot
suppress emotions connected with those moments. He also appreciated some
Slovak farmers who were courageous enough to hide Jewish families. The one
who provided shelter to them came back from the U.S. where he had worked in
mines. There he developed a rather positive attitude towards Jewish people.
He hid them in a small room and supplied them with food. During the raids
of Hlinka guards and Nazi soldiers, he hid them in a deep potato pit and
covered them with potatoes and wood. On one occasion, my father was
separated from his parents and hidden in a stable crib for a week. He
couldn't cry or shout but had to be absolutely quiet. He got something to
eat and drink several times a day. This resulted in his nervous stutter,
which he overcame only many years after the war.

Post-war">Post-war

It happened so that none of my family was deported to a concentration camp.
They either emigrated, or were hidden, or were able to escape under
circumstances close to a miracle. When my grandparents came back to their
house they were welcomed by the people, who had taken over their house,
with the disappointed question, 'You have returned?!'

My grandfather worked as an accountant with Pravda newspaper, but in the
1950s he was kicked out, accused of being a Zionist. My grandmother worked
at home.

My father wasn't able to study at university because of his 'bourgeois
family history'. He wanted to study archeology, but wasn't accepted during
the 1950s. Then he finished a vocational typographic school and became a
newspaper typesetter. Later, in the 1960s, the situation changed and he was
allowed to study at the Faculty of Economics.

Almost thirty years later he became head of the Faculty of Economics, which
has meanwhile become an independent university; the third biggest in
Slovakia. He still teaches there and is still involved both in the economic
and political life of the country.

My father married my mother Zuzana Sternova, nee Zimkova, born in 1947. She
comes from an Orthodox Jewish family from Nitra, which was a big Jewish
center before the war. Almost 10,000 Jews lived in the city and
surroundings.

Glossary">Glossary

1 Slovak guards

2 Undset, Sigrid (1882-1949)

Norwegian novelist, best known for her
novels on life in Scandinavia in the Middle Ages. Her works of the modern
era deal with social and psychological problems, and her conversion to
Roman Catholicism in 1924 is reflected in her fiction as well as in studies
such as 'Saga of Saints' (1934). She was awarded the Nobel Prize in
literature in 1928.

3 Karlsbad (Czech name

Karlovy Vary): The most famous Bohemian spa,
named after Bohemian King Charles (Karel) IV, who allegedly found the
springs during a hunting expedition in 1358. It was one of the most popular
resorts among the royalty and aristocracy in Europe for centuries.

Maya Dembo

Maya Dembo
St. Petersburg
Russia
Interviewer: Lyudmila Lyuban
Date of interview: October 2002

Maya Gerasimovna Dembo, a woman of 71, looks younger than her age;
she is very energetic, in spite of her heart disease.

She has a short haircut, grayish hair and is elegantly dressed.

She is an intellectual, there are newly published books on her table.

She lives alone in a two-bedroom cooperative apartment without any expensive furniture.

It is very neat and ideally clean with a lot of paintings on the walls, including those, painted by her relatives.

She is hospitable, her relatives and friends visit her often. She is a wonderful cook, and a nice and intelligent woman. It is a pleasure to talk with her.

  • My family background

My name is Maya Gerasimovna Dembo. I was born in Paris in 1931. I would like to express my gratitude to my cousin, Semyon Sivashinsky, the son of mother's brother Vulf, for the assistance he provided me with for this biography. He told me for this interview about his family and other Sivashinsky relatives.

My paternal grandfather, Isaac Dembo, was born in Riga [Latvia] in the 1870s. He had some kind of technical education, but I have no detailed information. He worked in the timber processing and paper industry. He died at an early age, in 1914, when my father was only 14 years old. Grandfather Isaac was sick with diabetes and tuberculosis. During his last years he lived in the Crimea, in Yalta, where the climate is drier and warmer than in the Baltic region and suits a consumptive person better. He died in Yalta. He was buried in the Jewish cemetery, but we weren't able to find his grave after the war. I have no information about his family or his siblings.

My paternal grandmother, Sara Lazarevna Dembo, nee Bugg, also had a Jewish name, Sorel. She was also born in Riga in 1865. The Bugg family was wealthy; they owned a fur factory in Riga named Electra. This factory was one of the first in Europe, which learnt to make mouton out of sheepskin, a shining fur with a soft flexible base. They really succeeded in it. They also had a dairy farm near Riga, in Saulkraste, so they were a fairly well- to-do family.

Grandmother Sara had several siblings, though I know little about their life. I only heard from my father that her brother Max Bugg, who owned the factory in Riga, anticipating the movement of the Reds 1 to the West, to the Baltic region, took his family and moved to Stockholm in Sweden in 1936 or 1937.

He lived with his wife there. Some of his children lived with him and one of his sons, Natan Bugg, obtained education either in Cambridge or in Oxford and found himself in Riga. Right before the war he married Yudit; she was an art expert. Their fate brought them to the Middle Asia during the war.

After the war they returned to Riga. Natan was a talented engineer and worked at the famous Riga carriage construction plant, which produced cars for electrical trains. They are still used by our St. Petersburg subway. Another one of Grandmother Sara's brothers - his name is unknown - found himself in Riga occupied by the Germans, and perished tragically. The fascists threw him into the burning synagogue. Other relatives had managed to escape from Riga before the Germans arrived. Some fled to the East, some the West.

Grandmother Sara didn't get any education, she was a housewife. She got married in the 1890s, they lived in Riga and had three children: Aron, my father Gerasim - his Jewish name is Gerson - and Cecilia. Regardless of the fact that grandfather died early and grandmother was left alone, she tried to provide the children with education. I believe, her well-to-do brothers supported her financially. All her children finished a classical gymnasia and obtained education abroad, in Europe.

The German - not Yiddish - language was the mother tongue of Grandmother Sara's family, because the German influence was very strong on the Latvian culture at that time, especially so in Riga, the capital of Latvia. All members of the family spoke Latvian and German; grandmother Sara and Aunt Cecilia, who lived most of their lives in Latvia, spoke it perfectly; my father and Uncle Aron spoke it less well.

They all spoke Russian well, Cecilia spoke without any accent and her brothers had a slight accent. Grandmother Sara wasn't religious, as far as I remember, she was a secular woman. She died in Riga in 1959.

My father's elder brother Aron Isaacovich Dembo - they called him Ronya at home - was born in Riga in 1898. He finished a classical gymnasia in Riga and later graduated from Berlin University. He was a chemist by occupation and worked all his life in the field of oil-processing. In 1937-1938 he married Olga Lvovna Tsymbal and their son Lev was born.

They lived in Leningrad. They were aware of their Jewish origin, but were secular people having little in common with Jewish traditions. Olga Lvovna was a doctor- roentgenologist and worked at Leningrad Pediatric Institute. Aron was in the chemical forces at the frontline during the war. Right after the war he worked at some plant in Leningrad. There was an explosion at that plant, Aron was considered guilty and was put into prison. I remember how some ex- prisoner came to our place and gave father a note from his brother. My father hired various attorneys and finally my uncle was released.

Later Aron was working at the oilfields in Bashkiria with a center in the town of Ishimbay. He spent most of his time in that town. He bought a Volga car in 1958 before he retired. [Editor's note: a Soviet car mark, very expensive and prestigious at that time.] He was returning to Leningrad via Moscow in this car along with his colleague. The car was hit by a dump truck and they were both killed. Uncle Aron was buried in Leningrad in the Jewish Preobrazhensky cemetery.

My father's younger sister Cecilia Isaacovna Dembo was born in Riga in 1904. When she was nine years old, she was run over by a street railway car and lost her leg; she had a prosthesis afterwards. This circumstance left a certain imprint on her further personal life. She had a good education, she finished a classical gymnasia in Riga, graduated from the medical faculty of Tartu University and later improved her education in Prague with Voyachek, who was very famous in the world of medicine. She traveled a lot, went to Italy and France. Cecilia was a very good otolaryngologist. She was a secular Jew, far from religion. She lived with her mother, my grandmother Sara, in Riga.

During the war, while in evacuation in the Urals, Cecilia worked in a polyclinic. After she returned to liberated Riga, she continued with her medical activity. She treated the opera singers' vocal chord illness; she was on friendly terms with the famous tenor Alexandrovich, and knew the academician Tarle very well. [Editor's note: E. V. Tarle (1875-1955): a famous Soviet historian of Jewish origin, one of the most prominent specialists in the history of Russia, France and international relations at the end of the 19th, beginning of the 20th century.]

Cecilia was an extraordinary person, though she didn't have any personal life; she was never married. She adopted and raised Alexander Genkin, her cousin's son, and gave him her last name. Alexander was born in Paris, his French mother left him in his early childhood and then his father died. Alexander Dembo became an artist, worked as a teacher at the Riga Academy of Arts, faculty of industrial aesthetics. I have his paintings at home. Cecilia died in Riga in 1981.

My father, Gerasim Isaacovich Dembo, was born in Riga in 1900. In 1918 he moved to Petrograd with his mother and sister Cecilia because of Cecilia's illness. He finished a classical gymnasia located on Vosstania Street and met my mother there. My father's family lived in the center of Petrograd, on Grechesky Lane. My mother's family lived nearby. After finishing the gymnasia my father started to work at the Oktyabrskaya Railroad as a stoker to earn a living. My grandmother and her daughter returned to Riga and Gerasim stayed in Petrograd.

I remember not only my maternal grandparents, but also my maternal great- grandparents, the Neimotins. My great-grandfather's name was Ovsha, he was a very handsome old man and resembled Moses by Michelangelo, with a gray beard, which seemed silver to me. I loved to sit in his lap and pull at his beard. My great-grandmother's name was Pesya, she wore a very long skirt, which surprised me, because everybody already wore short skirts at that time. She always put her hand under her skirt - she must have had a pocket there - and gave me candies.

They lived in 44 4th Sovetskaya, the whole apartment formerly belonged to the Neimotins; later they were 'packed' and when I knew them they lived in a small long room, which was all crammed with bookcases full of books in Yiddish and Hebrew. All books were age-old, with golden stamping in leather binding. My great-grandfather always read books, no matter when I came to visit. He read some big books with signs unknown to me, and he turned the pages in the direction opposite to the standard. My great-grandparents were quiet, calm, nice and smiling people, and very religious. According to some information my great-grandfather was a rabbi before the [Russian] Revolution [of 1917] 2. He prayed a lot. They didn't attend the synagogue at the time I remember them, because they were sick people and it was difficult for them to climb to the six floor, where their apartment was located, so they prayed at home. They died during the blockade of Leningrad 3 in 1942.

Their daughter, my maternal grandmother Khana-Feiga - common name Anna - Yevseyevna Sivashinskaya, nee Nemoitina, was born in St. Petersburg in 1881. Grandmother Khana had two brothers, Samuil and Avron; and two sisters, Musya and Leya, but I know little about them. Musya died early. Leya and her family left for the USA via Middle Asia at the beginning of World War II by some very difficult means.

Avron had a very good voice and absolute pitch. Two of his daughters live in St. Petersburg, they are old women by now and very sick. They sang very well when they were young; it was their hobby. Khana didn't get any education; she got married at the age of 19 and was a housewife.

My maternal grandfather Moisey - Jewish name Moishe-Isik - Vulfovich Sivashinsky was born in 1877. According to the birth certificate of his son Vulf, Moisey Sivashinsky was considered Polotsk petty bourgeois. I don't know when his family moved to St. Petersburg, but according to my mother, all children in the family were born in St. Petersburg. Maybe they were only registered in Polotsk. Everyone called grandfather Mshaisik.

Grandfather Moisey had two sisters, Rakhil and Fruma, and one brother, Sinay. His elder sister Rakhil - common name Rosa - Vulfovna Vilenskaya was born in 1880 in St. Petersburg. Regardless of the order accepted in the religious Sivashinsky family, she graduated from the medical faculty of Bestuzhev, became a doctor and married the revolutionary Vilensky. He was an associate of Lenin - he worked with Lenin during his stay in Switzerland and was later buried as an honored figure in the Kremlin Wall

[Editor's note: The Kremlin Wall behind Lenin Mausoleum was the most honored burial place in the USSR. There are urns with the ashes of the most prominent figures of the Communist Party and the USSR.]

After the wedding Rakhil and her husband left for Switzerland in connection with his revolutionary activity. However, they got divorced after some time in Switzerland and she moved to France, Paris, where she lived all her life.

Aunt Rakhil was a very good pediatrician and worked in Rothschild hospital. She invited her niece and her husband - my parents - to visit her in 1924 and they stayed at her place for ten years while my father studied at the Sorbonne. I was also born in France. My aunt didn't have children of her own and she liked to play with me a lot. I called her Aunt Rashel in the French manner. When my father got his diploma, Hitler had already come to power in Germany and Aunt Rakhil started to persuade my parents to leave France and return home, which they did.

She remained in Paris occupied by the Germans. My mother found out later that Aunt Rakhil got into a raid, after which she was sent to Auschwitz where she perished in 1942. There are documents confirming everything: an official notification #85926, issued by the International Red Cross, certified by the German Consulate in Leningrad. The name of Rakhil Vilenskaya is indicated on the memorial plate installed at present on the Rothschild hospital wall, where she had worked. The names of employees, who perished in the battle against fascism, are listed on this plate. When I was in Paris, I saw that memorial plate and the building on 8 Rue de Prague, where I lived the first years of my life.

My grandfather Moisey's younger sister, Fruma, was born in 1883. She did not get any education and was a housewife. She lived in Leningrad. Her husband, Isaac Yuzvinsky, was an engineer and was very fond of sport, especially football. They both perished in besieged Leningrad in 1942 and were buried in the Jewish cemetery. Their three sons perished at the frontline. The elder son perished at Karelian Isthmus, north of Leningrad, in the war with Finland [Soviet-Finnish War] 4. Two younger sons perished during the Great Patriotic War 5. Only their daughter survived. She graduated from Leningrad Polytechnic Institute as an engineer-metal expert. She lives with her family in the USA now.

Grandfather Moisey's younger brother, Sinay Sivashinsky, born in 1887, was an important economist and worked in a bank in Leningrad. He was arrested in 1937-1938 [during the so-called Great Terror] 6 and served time in the camps of Solikamsk. He spent 10 years there and was rehabilitated after Stalin had died [Rehabilitation in the Soviet Union] 7. His elder son perished at the frontline. His younger son, a doctor, was also in the war, but survived. He lives in Moscow now, has a daughter from his first marriage and a son from his second marriage. Sinay also moved to Moscow during his last years, where he died in the 1970s.

Grandfather Moisey, as well as grandmother Khana, came from a religious Jewish family. The Sivashinsky family came from the kohens. Kohens have the highest level of sanctity, since their assignment is to serve at the temple and to perform sacred work. Any service at the synagogue compulsorily includes a kohen: for instance, if ten Jews gathered, they had the right to start the prayer, but there should be a kohen among them. Yiddish was the mother tongue of grandparents Khana and Moisey; they also spoke Russian rather well and correctly, but preserved Jewish 'singing' intonations in their speech. They kept kosher and observed all fasts; celebrated Sabbath and all Jewish holidays; prayed a lot and attended the synagogue often.

Grandfather Moisey was a rather important figure in the Jewish community of Leningrad. He was a shochet and a mohel. As a shochet he was acknowledged by the synagogue and had the right to ritually slaughter the cattle. As a mohel, he obtained the right from the Jewish religious community to perform the ceremony of circumcision for boys on the eight day after their birth. Grandfather did it very professionally in sterile sanitary conditions. His daughter-in-law, the wife of his son Vulf, was a pharmacist; she brought him bandages and other necessary sterile accessories.

The performance of this ceremony was of ritual character and required certain courage on Grandfather Moisey's side, as the Soviet Power didn't only unwelcome, but also persecuted the ministers of religious cults [during the struggle against religion] 8. He was ranked among such people, that is why he was 'deprived', he was disfranchised and deprived of other rights. I remember old Jews often came to visit Grandfather Moisey.

They spoke quietly about something, discussed something and prayed together. His opinion was highly evaluated. Visiting my friends once when I was already an adult, I mentioned by incident my mother's maiden name. Guests of venerable age exclaimed, 'Oh! So you are Mshaisik Sivashinsky's granddaughter?' It pleased me very much to see that grandfather was well- known and remembered.

Grandmother Khana and Grandfather Moisey lived in one apartment with my grandmother's parents, the Neimotins. My grandmother liked that the apartment was located on the sixth floor, she said that she liked high stories, because there was a lot of light up there, closer to the sky and farther from the earth. I remember a big beautiful escritoire of Karelian birch with a lot of various drawers. I loved when the cover of the escritoire was opened and I could open and close those drawers.

There were bookcases with ancient books in the long corridor; unfortunately, they were all burned in the siege. The entrance to the apartment was from the backstairs. There was a big refrigerated cabinet in the kitchen, built into the wall below the window. Such a fridge was traditional for that time. The stove was a wood-burning one and Primus stoves were placed on it.

There was also a small cast iron basin. Near it stood a huge oak sideboard, one half of which was used the whole year round and the other contained everything that was used for the celebration of Pesach. Grandmother prohibited everyone to touch those dishes for the rest of the year. All Jewish traditions were piously observed. They celebrated all the holidays when the whole family would gather, they kept kosher and prayed even at home twice a day.

Grandfather Moisey and grandmother Khana got married in 1900. They had the traditional Jewish wedding ceremony, with a chuppah. They had six children: Frida, my mother, Vulf, Sima, Maria, Iosif and Polina.

My mother's elder brother, Vulf Sivashinsky - they called him Vladymir at home - was born in St. Petersburg in 1904. His birth certificate is well preserved. After his bar mitzvah at the age of 13 he became a rabbi's disciple, it was an official status. He was taught by his grandfather Ovsey Neimotin and would have become a rabbi, if it hadn't been for the Revolution of 1917 in Russia. Vulf Moiseyevich had always been a man of ideas. At first, it was the idea of serving the Jewish religion.

After the Revolution he suffered a moral crisis and turned away from religion into the opposite direction: atheism of extreme kind. He wasn't able to obtain systematic education, not even elementary education, because of the Civil War 9. He worked as a watchman, as a worker at the clothes factory and Murmansk railroad, as a sailor on Ladoga Lake and as a scraper in 'Utilsoyuz'.

In 1922 Vulf entered the adult workers' school and in 1935 without interruption of work graduated from the chemical faculty of S. M. Kirov 10 Light Industry Academy with almost all excellent marks. He was a very talented person.
Being a chemical engineer, he engaged himself with such a boring subject as processing secondary scrap. He worked as the head of 'Soyuzutil' in Leningrad from 1937 and up to the beginning of the war.

He got married at an early age, when he was 19, to Esphir Berkovna Starobina, a friend of his sister Sima; they studied together at the pharmaceutical technical school. After finishing school Esphir worked in a drugstore. Their first son Mikhail was born in 1924 and in 1940 they had another son, Semyon.

They lived with Esphir's parents in a huge communal apartment 11, which belonged to the Starobins before the Revolution. When the Great Patriotic war broke out, Esphir and Semyon got evacuated to Omsk, Siberia.

Vulf and his elder 17-year-old son Mikhail volunteered to the front. In September 1941 Mikhail perished in the battle near Gatchina in Leningrad region. Almost everyone born in 1924 like he was murdered in this war: they were just 17, nothing but schoolboys, with no experience of a soldier, so they would perish in the very first battle. Mikhail was everybody's favorite in the family. His father participated in the war, was in Zapolarye, Poland, Hungary, Austria and Germany. He served in chemical forces, was an army officer, a major, with battle awards. He was wounded and partially lost his hearing in the war. After the war he returned to his former job and held high managing positions up to 1958 in the raw material processing industry. Regardless of his bad hearing, his employees loved him very much and simply spoke louder in his presence.

My uncle Vladymir had a sense of humor and liked good literature, the Great Russian poet Pushkin 12, especially his novel in poetry, Eugene Onegin. Uncle Vladymir told his wife, 'Take your ear-trumpet. Oh, what a big flaw deafness is.' [Editor's note: quoting poet A. S. Griboyedov (1795-1829): Russian playwright, poet and diplomat, contemporary of Pushkin.] He considered Yiddish and Russian his mother tongues. He often spoke Yiddish at home with his wife and his Russian was absolutely correct without the slightest intonational Jewish peculiarity.

He remembered Hebrew, the language of the Torah until the end of his life. When during his last year he lay sick in bed, his wife's nephew Yuly came to him to study Hebrew. Yuly is now the biggest expert on Jewish customs and culture in the family. He is very much interested in the subject.

Vladymir was a man of high culture, but uncontrollable and hot-tempered. It was good that his hot temper was restrained by the culture. He was a brilliant lector; he gave lectures on chemical methods of scrap processing for specialists. At the end of his life, along with his colleague Slivker, he was occupied with the invention of a machine for technical rags degreasing, they called it cavitator because it's function was based on the hydrodynamic cavitation.

They produced a pilot machine, tested it for a long time, but it was never put into mass production. In 1958 Uncle Vladymir obtained incapacity for work and retired. He died in 1963, both he and his wife were buried in the Jewish cemetery in Leningrad.

Uncle Vladymir's son Semyon graduated after World War II from the mathematical-mechanical faculty of Leningrad State University, though it wasn't easy for a Jew to enter it. A brilliant mathematician, he started to work as a student at the Leningrad department of Steklov Mathematical Institute [Editor's note: It is now the leading economical-mathematical institute of the Russian Academy of Sciences.] He still works there. He married a Jewish girl early, at the age of 19, just like his father.

He has a daughter and a son. His daughter graduated from Leningrad Polytechnic Institute and lives with her family in the USA now. His son graduated from two institutes: the Bonch-Bruyevich Leningrad Institute of Communication and later, having understood, that his mission was medicine, he graduated from Leningrad Pediatric Institute. He worked on probation for three years in the USA, defended a Ph.D. thesis on chemotherapy and is now a brilliant oncologist at Leningrad Oncological Center at Pesochnaya station. Grandfather could have been proud of such grandchildren.

One of my mother's sisters Serafima, or Sima Gutman was born in St. Petersburg in 1907. She finished the pharmaceutical technical school in 1924 and worked at the Blood Transfusion Institute as a laboratory assistant. She was a very intelligent biochemist. Her husband Israel Gutman was a construction engineer; he was often sick. They lived in a tiny room of nine square meters with their small sons. After World War II they moved into a small apartment with great difficulties. They raised three sons, who graduated from Leningrad Fine Mechanics and Optics Institute, got married and have grownup children and grandchildren. Two of them live with their families in the USA and one lives in Israel.

Aunt Sima was an angel by temper. She never spoke loudly, she was always very tender, smiling, cordial and sympathetic. She helped me during the hard period in my life, when my husband fell sick with sarcoma. His blood formula had to be restored after radiological procedures. My aunt's advice helped us a lot. She left for the USA with her husband and younger son in 1992. She fell sick along with her husband and they died on the same day. He had a stroke and she had an infarct. It happened in 1998.

Another sister of my mother, Maria or Musya Starobina was born in St. Petersburg in 1911. She was a quiet, charming woman with blue eyes and delicate features. She worked as an accountant at Lenin Munition Plant. She married the brother of Uncle Vulf's wife, Samuil Starobin, and they had a daughter. They lived in a small room along with Samuil's parents. Musya's husband worked at the aircraft plant and was a highly qualified worker with, as they say, 'magical hands'. He could do absolutely unique things.

My father until his dying days shaved with a razor that Samuil made for him, and liked it very much. Aunt Musya died early, in 1955 at the age of 44 of rheumatic heart disease. The whole family was shocked by her death. She was buried in the Jewish cemetery.

The Sivashinsky family was exceptionally friendly. The whole family jointly raised Musya's 12-year-old daughter. Certainly, Uncle Vulf and his wife took the biggest part in it, as they lived in one apartment. Musya's daughter graduated from Leningrad Construction Engineering Institute and became a construction engineer. In 1972 she emigrated to Paris with her husband and son. She works as a translator from French and English in various technical fields.

Her son works with her. They have a small translating company of their own. She got divorced, but she preserved good relations with her husband and they work together. She visited us twice. I also visited her in Paris. She told me that she still remembered how Aunt Frida, my mother, carrying loaded bags, had visited her mother at the hospital.

My mother's younger brother, Iosif Sivashinsky, was born in 1914. He was a very wise man and his wisdom harmonized with his secularity and merriness. He was a very good electronic engineer. When he was young, he suffered from his father's being a minister of religious cult. Iosif worked at a plant, which produced projecting and cinematographic equipment and decided to enter a technical school attached to the plant.

However, he had great difficulties to enter this school as he was a member of the family of a 'lishentsy' [Editor's note: 'lishentsy', or deprived citizens of the USSR, members of the so-called 'former classes' who were disfranchised; in particular, when entering higher and secondary educational institutions.

According to the Constitution of 1918, this category included people who before the Revolution of 1917 had used hired labor, received interest on investments, been involved in trade and commerce, clergy, agents of the pre- revolution police, mentally handicapped persons and convicts. They were deprived not only politically, but often also of civil rights.]

They managed to solve the problem with great difficulty. Iosif finished this school and later on worked with navigation devices as an engineer. He lived with his wife and daughter in one apartment, along with Grandfather Moisey and Grandmother Khana. I remember very well his wife Tasya, who died at a young age of cancer. She was German, her father was subject to repression and she was scared of everything. Tasya, not being a Jewess, was very much loved in such a religious family as my grandparents Sivashinskys'. She was quiet and nice; a real dove.

During the war Iosif worked in besieged Leningrad. At the end of 1944 he was sent to the Far East on the threshold of the war with Japan 13. After the war Iosif and his daughter worked in a secret organization and were 'rejected' for a long time; they weren't allowed to go abroad. Later they moved to the USA. Iosif knew Jewish traditions very well. Since he was a kohen, he was often invited to the Boston synagogue to commence the service.

He did go, though he thought that Judaism possesses superfluity of small details of ritual specifics, but he had a humorous attitude to it. Iosif knew the history of the Sivashinsky family very well. My cousin Semyon told me that when he visited Iosif, in two days he found out more about his family, than he was able to find out during his whole life. Iosif died in 2000.

My mother's younger sister Polina Berlina was born in 1917. She worked since her youth at Krasnaya Zarya factory, which produced telephone sets. She loved theater very much and attended the theatrical studio attached to the Leningrad Children's Theater. She recited poems very well. She married Zalman Berlin, who graduated from Leningrad Bonch-Bruevich Institute of Communication and, being a telecommunications worker, also worked at the Krasnaya Zarya. He was in the war, always carrying a box and a cable spool, repairing the communication system; he was wounded. Zalman died a long time ago. Polina has two children, a daughter and a son. They all live in the USA now.

My maternal grandparents, Moisey and Khana, lived in besieged Leningrad during the war and in 1942 they were among the last ones to get evacuated across Ladoga Lake [via the so-called Road of Life] 14. They traveled in a troop train long and grievously. My grandfather had a sense of humor, he was a merry and easily amused person with sly eyes. He didn't lose his sense of humor even in such hard times. He told us the following story later: When they left Leningrad, they collected some belongings and took a kettle among all other things.

They asked one of the young men, who jumped out of the train car, to bring some boiled water in the kettle. Everyone drank water from the kettle and everyone was surprised at the taste of the water. When they drank all the water, they found a felt hat in it. They traveled for a long time in that train and finally arrived at Omsk, where their relatives had been evacuated to before.

They returned to Leningrad in 1944, when the siege had been lifted. They kept the Jewish traditions till the end of their life. My grandfather died in 1953 and grandmother died a year later, in 1954. They were buried in the Preobrazhensky Jewish cemetery in Leningrad.

The children weren't religious but they respected their parents' belief, that is why they tried to bury them observing the Jewish ceremony. I remember especially when Grandfather Moisey was buried. All mirrors were covered. [Editor's note: according to Jewish tradition all the mirrors in the house with a deceased are covered to facilitate the wandering of his soul in the next world.] It was very quiet in the apartment, everybody sat squatted down or on very low benches. It wasn't allowed to cry. My grandmother kept her composure.

Relatives didn't have the right to carry the coffin. [Editor's note: a dead body is considered unclean, and it is not allowed to touch it so as to avoid desecration.] Everybody slightly tore their clothes as a sign of sorrow. Coffins were painted red at that time, but according to the Jewish ceremony, if a coffin was used, it had to be made of plain boards, non-painted. This red paint had to be cleaned off, which was very difficult to do, as it was deep-seated in the wood.

Grandfather's body was wrapped in a shroud. The shroud was sewed, as it should be, out of brand new unwashed fabric. The candles were burning. At first the coffin was placed at the synagogue. I remember very well, how Uncle Vladymir stood on the perch of the synagogue at his father's funeral and didn't enter it because he was a communist.

There were men and women beside the coffin. It all happened at the synagogue near the Jewish cemetery; it was already dilapidated at that time. The cantor sang. The kaddish was recited at the cemetery. My grandmother was also buried according to the Jewish ceremony, but I don't remember her funeral so clearly for some reason.

My mother, Frida Moiseyevna Dembo, was born in St. Petersburg in 1901 and was the eldest child in the family. She finished a gymnasia and entered the Live Word Institute, such was the name of today's Drama Institute at that time. She was taught by the famous actor Davydov and in spite of her young age, promising in the typical theatrical role of old women in Ostrovsky's plays. [Editor's note: A. N. Ostrovsky (1823-1886): Russian playwright, whose plays, both tragedies and comedies, laid the foundation for realistic Russian drama.] She had a very well-pronounced artistic talent and she studied well; she liked it all very much. When she married my father, she was only 19 years old. My parents got married in 1920.

My father continued working at the Oktyabrskaya railroad. First he worked as a stoker, then he moved further up to the position of train driver assistant. At the same time he entered Polytechnic Institute and combined work and studies. It was rather complicated as it fairly exhausted him, which worried his mother a lot. She lived with her daughter in Riga at that time. Relatives decided that his parents should go to Paris, where my father should continue his studies at the Sorbonne. The Government of the USSR allowed it at that time. The sister of my mother's father, Rakhil, lived in Paris at that time and agreed to accept my parents. In 1924 my parents left Petrograd and my mother had to quit her wonderful institute. They lived for several months in Riga, where my mother was introduced to all my father's relatives, and after that they left for Paris.

  • Growing up

They lived in Paris for ten years with mother's aunt, first at one place and later they moved to Rue de Prague, 8 - it was the Rothschild foundation building. Aunt Rosa assisted them financially; besides, they earned money. My father studied at the faculty of applied mechanics of the Sorbonne affiliate in the town of Nancy and worked at the Worthington machine- building plant. He attended some course at university, did an exam, went back to work, attended another course, passed the exam, went back to work and so on. That is why he studied at university for such a long time, for ten years. My mother worked as a seller in a store and did some other jobs. I was born in 1931 and was the only child in the family. When my father obtained a Sorbonne diploma in 1934, they had to decide what to do next. My mother loved her parents and siblings very much, she missed her family a lot when living in Paris. Besides, Hitler came to power in Germany in 1933 and his speeches worried the neighboring countries. So in 1934 we all moved to the Soviet Union, to Leningrad, which had already been renamed after Lenin's death in 1924.

Upon our return from France my father started to work at the Leningrad Metal Plant [LMP], which was the first domestic turbine producer. He worked at the special design bureau, which designed pumps. My father was a man of great erudition, possessed vast knowledge and spoke several languages. He knew German, French and Russian perfectly, and he translated from English, but I never heard him speak English. He knew Greek and Latin a little bit. He never learnt Russian but he was absolutely literate and edited all documents for the pumps. He was very hard-working. Besides his main job, he did translations in order to earn some extra money. I remember that very often, when I went to bed, he still sat at the desk, leafed through the magazines and translated articles.

My father was a man of intellectual labor, but he could do anything with his hands, he could even repair shoes. He repaired his car himself and applied to a mechanic only in case of very serious problems. He was a hot- tempered man, but suppressed all 'explosions' inside himself. He smoked a lot, but, being a strong-willed man, gave up smoking, when he was required to do so. He was rather quiet and non-talkative with those whom he didn't know well, but with his friends he was a sunny and smiling person, very charming, sometimes naive as a child and his circle of friends loved him very much. My father was very stylish and knew how to dress. Once he sewed himself a working overall with a lot of pockets out of some rag, and preserved elegance even in that overall. Black-marketers very often bothered him about his clothes. He was an extraordinary person, a bright man.

My mother worked in the graphics department of the Hermitage and translated inscription on etchings from French into Russian. [Editor's note: the Hermitage is one of the greatest art museums of the world, established on the base of private art collections of the Russian emperors.] My mother was very elegant, fine-molded. She was a sociable person, very communicative and artistic. She sang well - low soprano - had a fine pitch, unlike my father and imitated Vertinsky wonderfully, including his gestures. She had an imperious temper, as all Sivashinskys, sometimes she was a despot; she liked to have everything done her own way. However, at the same time she was rather delicate and didn't worm herself into anybody's soul. My parents were educated and modern people; they weren't religious.

When we returned to Leningrad in 1934, I was three years old. Since my mother began to work at the Hermitage, I attended the kindergarten for Hermitage employees' children.

I visited my grandparents often, because my parents expected to be arrested every day. Many people in this country lived in fear of arrest and repressions during those years before the war. That's why I was sent out of the house with the story that mother had tonsillitis and I could catch an infection. I went with grandmother to Nekrasov market-place, where she bought live hens which lived for some time in the big fireplace. Later grandfather Moisey slaughtered the hens according to the rules. I liked chicken cooked by grandmother; she was a wonderful cook. She handed over her cooking talent to her daughters.

  • During the war

In the summer of 1941 we planned to visit Grandmother Sara in Riga, but then the war broke out. I was already a schoolgirl before the war, but I was evacuated with the kindergarten to Yaroslav region. I remember clearly how I walked along Nevsky prospect [the main street of Leningrad] with a rucksack. We were sent to the Volga river and my parents stayed in Leningrad. Our troop train with children was in-between those trains that headed to the frontline and the Germans bombed us all the time. There was no unbroken window glass left in the train car.

We sat under the benches covering our faces with our hands. Finally we reached our place of destination. It was the village of Iskra in Yaroslav region. We were distributed among the nicest, charming Volga citizens; they were the kindest people! We were washed and fed. I remember also the cold touch of tweezers on my face, which were used to take out small pieces of glass. We lived there, went to school and did agricultural work. I was taught to crop and collect vegetables.

My parents stayed in besieged Leningrad. My mother continued working at the Hermitage. When Kalinin's 15 instruction arrived about the evacuation of the LMP to the Urals, my father was recalled from the home guard. They got loaded onto the troop train and left, but my mother got off the train earlier, near the town of Buguruslan, and found me.

When she came to pick me up, we were all sick, there weren't enough adult workers, and all children were sick with dysentery. She helped to treat us, using homemade means, certainly, because no medical assistance or medicine was available. Later, having said goodbye to the hospitable villagers, I left with my mother to the Urals, where my father was.

In 1940 Latvia was annexed to Russia. When the Great Patriotic War broke out in 1941, Riga already had some information about the Germans persecuting Jews in Poland. Thus when the Germans approached Riga, my grandmother and her daughter Cecilia escaped with the retreating Red Army, taking only a bundle with belongings and a small suitcase with Cecilia's tools with them.

They left with the last trucks and found themselves in Pskov region. Later my grandmother somehow found out where her younger son Gerasim got evacuated with his family and they reached us at the beginning of 1942 in the Urals.

They came absolutely lice-ridden, exhausted and more dead than alive. Since their mother tongue was German they spoke German at home; in spite of the war and bad attitude of the population towards the Germans. But the landlords lived separately and nobody heard it. In 1943 my grandmother, her daughter and her son's family moved to the town of Podolsk in Moscow region and in 1944 they both returned to liberated Riga. A bomb hit their house and nothing remained of it, not even the foundation, so they had to start from scratch.

LMP was evacuated to the village of Verkhnaya Salda, not far from Nizhny Tagil [a town in Ural region, about 2,000 km from Leningrad]. Those were places, where convicts used to live, which had been exiled there by the Russian tsar Peter the Great 16. First metallurgical plant were also constructed there by Demidov [a famous Russian entrepreneur of the 18th century]. The LMP engineers, clever and educated people, recalled from the home guard - just like my father - to produce turbines, were starving to death. There was no medical assistance, no medicine.

My parents also suffered from dysentery because of hunger. They lay and periodically lost their conscience. When my mother came to her senses, she told me what to do, 'Wash your hands, dissolve some manganese crystals, go to the store, buy cognac or vodka, ask the owner for some curds...' Then she fainted again. I did everything as she told me and my parents survived. This was in 1942. As soon as they were up on their feet again, and my father could go to the LMP affiliate and my mother to the policlinic, where she worked at the registry office, my father's mother and sister arrived. They were also more dead than alive. We all lived in a log cabin - a house made of timber. Our landlords had two houses; they gave one to us.

My father worked at a dairy in his childhood and he knew how to deal with horses. He asked our landlords for a horse and we went with him to the forest to get some wood. We chopped trees and sawed the dead wood. I stood in snow up to my chest in -50 degrees Celsius. However, the air is very dry in that area and such frost can be endured more easily than in Leningrad, where the air humidity is too high and where I often fell sick with tonsillitis. In the Urals my tonsillitis was cured forever. We stoked the Russian stove 17 with the wood and warmed the big house.

In the Urals, in the village of Verkhnaya Salda, where the plant, where my father worked, was evacuated, I went to school again, but we didn't really study there; we fought with the local children instead. They beat us seriously, because we were weak, constantly hungry and stole food from their school bags.

They always ate very delicious and nourishing food, brought milk and shanezhki to school. [Editor's note: shanezhki are potato pastries, covered with sour cream and baked in the Russian stove.] Certainly, they didn't share anything with us. I faced anti-Semitism there for the first time in my life. We were called 'plucked-out jews'. I came home and asked who 'plucket-out jews' were. They explained it to me. But the strangest thing was that they called all evacuated people, even Russians, 'plucked-out jews'. Obviously, the local inhabitants thought that only Jews were evacuated. I didn't make friends with anyone there; we struggled for existence.

In 1943, according to Kalinin's instruction, those employees of LMP, who survived, were again loaded onto troop trains and brought to the town of Podolsk. There was a big boiler plant there. The plant produced boilers for electrical stations, and LMP made turbines. My father was occupied with the production of pumps in Podolsk. After the siege, the LMP employees returned to Leningrad and their families came back later.

My mother and me returned to Leningrad in June 1945. Father came back with his plant earlier. I remember Nevsky prospect very well, which we drove along in a truck. I looked at the empty, as if extinct, city and at the houses with dark and nailed up windows, pasted with straps of paper. We entered Palace Square: empty, not a soul, depressing silence. The gray Neva river with waves. The sight was terrifying.

  • Post-war

Our house #27 on Dobrolyubova Street, where we had lived before the war, hadn't remained intact; a bomb hit it. My father got a room in a communal apartment in building #23 on the same street. The room was on the second floor, it was a pillbox during the war, our soldiers shot from it. My father had to break off the bricks from the window openings with a crow-bar and to make new windows. The room was crammed with furniture, gathered from the whole building and everything had to be taken out. The communal apartment was rather big, designed for six families.

There was a kitchen with a wood-stove and a wash-basin, where huge fat rats sat, well-fed on the corpses during the siege. Those rats were afraid of no one. There was also a tiny toilet, which didn't work properly. Torn electric wires and pieces of wallpaper hung from everywhere. Nevertheless, little by little, neighbors appeared and life returned to normal.

My father continued to work in his former position at the LMP. Later on their special design bureau was transferred to the Economizer Plant, which produced pumps, so he began to work there.

My mother didn't have special medical education, but learnt a lot working at policlinics during the evacuation in Verkhnaya Salda and in Podolsk. Thus, having returned to Leningrad, she found a job at a tularemia infection station, which was located not far from our house on Tatarsky Lane. They dealt with extremely dangerous infections there: plague, encephalitis, tularemia.

Tularemia is a glands' illness, like plague. My mother wore a mask, rubber gloves and a tightly closed overall at work. They developed a serum against infections, studied insects and other infection carriers' behavior, for which purpose they caught musk-rats.

The employees went to the country where an infective epidemic was registered; for instance, my mother went to the Karelian Isthmus, when an encephalitis epidemic was registered there. [Editor's note: Karelian Isthmus: land bridge, connecting Russia and Finland, situated between the Gulf of Finland in the west and Lake Ladoga in the east. St. Petersburg and Vyborg Saint are its chief cities.] She took me with her on that trip. We were vaccinated beforehand. We lived in a wooden house. My mother took part in the research and she took me with her because I had severe avitaminosis and furunculosis, and I needed fresh air and forest berries.

There were really a lot of berries, but it was dangerous to walk in the forest. Everything was completely neglected, a lot of barbed wire, shells, missiles everywhere. This was 1946-1947. Resettled people from the Volga river, from Yaroslav region, lived there. I ran around the forest with boys, we collected some weapons, shells and hit them. Once when we were doing it, some demobilized soldier shouted terribly at us because we could have easily blown ourselves up. Fortunately, everything turned out to be successful. My mother was a very intelligent person, she managed to cope with everything she did.

In the postwar time my parents loved to go to the theater and concerts; they especially liked [Arkadii] Raikin and [Klavdiya] Shulzhenko [both popular Soviet variety artists]. My parents had a lot of friends, whom they welcomed at home with pleasure and whom they visited, too.

Their friends were of various nationalities, not only Jews; my parents were people of cosmopolitan nature, they would live well in any part of the world. I think they developed such a trait when they were young and lived in Paris for ten years. They didn't like chauvinism, either Russian or Jewish.

We didn't go to the summerhouses in summer because my mother didn't like all these buckets, pans, oil-stoves. My parents bought a Moskvich car: private cars weren't common yet at that time, but already affordable for well-to-do families. We drove to the Crimea and the Caucasus, in our own car. But most of all we liked to go to the Baltics: to Lithuania, Estonia, Latvia and the Lettish farm at the border with Estonia, where our close friends, Latvians lived - though I don't remember anything special about the time we spent there.

As of 1955-1956 my mother didn't work anymore, she just kept the household; but she didn't manage to collect documents required for obtaining a pension. My father worked until he was 82, though not at the Economizer Plant, but at various other places, since my mother didn't get a pension, and they had to live on something. My father died in 1988 and my mother died a year later, in 1989. They were buried in the regular cemetery, not in the Jewish one.

  • School years

I went to school after the war. It was a girls' school and I didn't like it. The teachers constantly dragged me to the toilet and made me wet and comb my curls. They didn't believe that I had such hair by birth. The hair became even curlier when wet. I had real fun, but my mother was summoned to school. I cannot say that I was oppressed because of my nationality, but playing in the yard, I heard sometimes 'Jewish mug!', and I thought: what can I do? I faced real anti-Semitism when I entered the institute.

I finished school in 1951, since I lost about one and a half years because of all these evacuation trips. I wanted to enter the philological faculty of Leningrad University, but my parents advised me to not even try to submit my documents there, in order to save time, strength and nerves, as Jews weren't accepted to university openly at that time. I got the same advice from Natasha, my friend and neighbor in our communal apartment. She was two years older than me, Russian and studied at the faculty of law.

I submitted my documents to Leningrad Library Institute. I passed the entrance exams fine, got one 'good' mark and the rest were 'excellent'. However, the entrance examination commission asked me to bring an excerpt from my parents' biography, explaining why I was born in Paris.

Were my parents white emigrants or not? Why did they live there? A Jewess and moreover, born in Paris! My father wrote an explanation, I entered the institute with difficulty, but studied well and with pleasure. We had a very strong literature sub-faculty, consisting of famous Russian and foreign literature specialists, who were driven away from the university, for being Jews or so-called 'cosmopolitans' 18, who weren't exiled to far away camps so far.

After graduation I was assigned to work at the Kola Peninsula in the town of Kirovsk [mandatory job assignment] 19. The following order existed at that time: nonresidents were left in Leningrad and Leningrad residents were sent to remote locations, so that they 'would not stir up trouble'. I worked in a library in Kirovsk. Being a 3rd-year student, I did my practice in Murmansk. I'm very grateful to my lucky stars that I got to know this wonderful land. I've been to Murmansk, in villages at the very border with Norway.

I had to check various libraries and drove from one to another in a sleigh harnessed with dogs. Since Kirovsk was a town, where apatites were mined and where convicts' camps were located, I was assigned to give them some lectures. There were various convicts, including political ones, there were really a lot of them. They worked at the mines and the concentrating factory, where the apatite ore was concentrated. I lived in a barrack, the wind created huge snowdrifts in winter. I was constantly sick, I was awfully allergic to the apatites - it is considered a hazardous production - and the lack of oxygen in the air.

There exists such an anomaly, though there are no mountains anywhere around. By the way, the same anomaly has been registered in Kostomuksha, Karelia. I began to write applications asking for permission to go back to Leningrad. Of course, I left for home for all the holidays. My colleagues at the library treated me very well, they understood that I was a 'mother's girl' and took care of me as much as they could.

Once I got into real trouble. Terrible snow-storms occur in that area. At that time I didn't live in Kirovsk, but 25 kilometers from the town, close to the mines, where the ore was extracted and later on delivered along a narrow-gauge railroad to this factory in Kirovsk. I lived with the mother of my friend Natasha, who by that time had already passed away. Our parents were friends, when we lived in one communal apartment and Natasha's mother, Alexandra Nesterovna, loved me very much. I went to work by bus. When the snow-storm started, no one was at home and Alexandra Nesterovna, a doctor, was at her work-place at the preventorium.

Being a law-abiding person, I set out to work. Something terrible happened outside, nothing could be seen, not even the lampposts, there was snow up to the chest, the wind was howling and it was possible to walk only sidelong. I tied my kerchief around my head, like a mask and walked, as there was no transport. I was walking by touch, from post to post. I left the house at 9 in the morning and came to work late at night, it was always dark there at that time, because the Polar night starts in that area in November.

So I appeared in front of my colleagues in the form of a huge snow-ball. What happened to them when they saw me! They scolded me, kissed me, unpacked me, massaged me, warmed me and gave me vodka to drink. I spent the night in the apartment of our manager, Tatiana Alexandrovna. There were actually a lot of Leningraders in Kirovsk; very intelligent people, who found themselves in that area against their will in the course of Stalin's repressions. They managed to stay decent and kind in those harsh conditions; they were always ready to help. The atmosphere was special there, I never ever felt the same in my life. So I waited throughout the snow-storm with them. A lot of people perished on that day, I was lucky to survive.

I worked in Kirovsk for two years, between 1955 and 1957, returned to Leningrad and started to look for a new job. I visited different organizations. They greeted me rather warmly, asked me to fill in a form, but having considered my application, informed me that they weren't able to take me. It wasn't easy to tell by my appearance, if I was a Jewess or not, but after I filled in the form, everything became clear. So I 'wandered about' for some time and later through some friends of mine found a job as a librarian at the Children's Literature Publishing House.

It was very interesting to work in that library, as there was this wonderful manager, who during the most fearful times of persecution preserved a selection of pre-revolutionary works by children's writer Lidiya Charskaya, a file of the children's magazine Chizh & Yozh (Siskin and Hedgehog), which was banned. [Editor's note: Lidiya Alekseyevna Charskaya (born Churilova) (1875- 1937): a Russian writer and actress of Aleksandrovskiy theater in St.Petersburg, wrote over 80 books, which made her very popular among young readers in the 1900s.

However, in 1912 her literary career was thwarted by a harsh critical article by poet Kornei Chukovskiy, who accused Charskaya of vulgarity and hypocrisy. Later she was also charged with monarchism and religiousity, and after that she was not published at all. She died in 1937 a natural death, completely forgotten.]

The manager was a person, who knew children's literature very well and loved her job devotedly. I learnt a lot, working there. Little by little, I made new friends. The Writers' House was situated near the Children's Publishing House, on 18 Voinova Street. I came to work there after some time.

I worked at the so-called 'mass department' at the Writers' House, I was engaged with the writers' 'education', arranged various meetings for them with famous figures of science and engineering, artists, producers, theater and cinema actors. I was very business-like and vigorous. Writers are very capricious and sometimes even quarrelsome people; often I caught it from them, besides, there was a lot of gossip. I called that organization the 'viper-house' but I passed through the hard school of life there. I left the place in 1982 after 15 years of work there.

  • Marriage life

I met my husband, Lev Samuilovich Freidman, in 1957 at my friends' place in Kirovsk. Lev was a Jewish man. He was born in Leningrad in 1926. His father didn't have any higher education but he was a very good practical economist and was a member of a lot of expert commissions. Lev had twin sisters, both were doctors-pediatricians, they are still alive; and a brother, who died in 1999. Lev studied at the Leningrad Institute of Law, but he didn't manage to obtain a diploma, as he was arrested and exiled to Kirovsk.

Serving his time there, he got acquainted with the prosecutor of Kirovsk, his name was Finkelstein, and he had studied at the same institute in Leningrad, but they didn't know each other. I met Lev in the Finkelstein family, who I also got to know when in Kirovsk. I married Lev at the end of 1957.

After his sentence in Kirovsk Lev finished a construction equipment installation technical school, and all his life after that he was occupied with industrial construction at Krasny Vyborzhets plant, at Srevdlov machine-tool plant, at Izhorsky plant and others. He was well-known among constructors, respected and loved.

Regardless of the fact that he was a constructor, we weren't able to get an apartment, we were in line for a long time and finally we built a cooperative apartment. In 1968 we moved into a two-bedroom cooperative apartment on Varshavskaya Street, where I still live now.

In 1981 Lev was assigned by his ministry to the construction of Kostomuksha ore mining and processing combine in Karelia. The construction was executed jointly with the Finns. There were a lot of KGB 20 representatives. They were people dressed in civilian clothes in the guise of interpreters, but they only disrupted the work, as they didn't know the specifics of construction work and technical terms. Lev was very soon bored with that and began to work directly with the Finns; they all understood the drawings perfectly and understood each other very well.

When Lev came back to Leningrad, he always said, 'The KGB is close at my heels, it doesn't allow me to breathe, besides, here you are being born in Paris...'

I visited him twice in Kostomuksha. It's a nice town, constructed by the Finns, very charming, clean and neat. The nature is wonderful there with beautiful lakes and marvelous places. But there is this iron anomaly and lack of oxygen in the air, the same as in Kirovsk, that's why I felt bad there, besides, this area was also contra-indicated to Lev because of his health. However, he worked throughout the term of his contract, returned to Leningrad at the end of 1982 and began to look for a new job, as his former position had already been occupied.

I started to work at the Monuments' Protection Society, located on Shpalernaya Street in 1982 and worked there until I retired in 1987. We arranged a City Experts' Club in that Society, where very interesting and intelligent people gathered; people of various occupations, who knew and loved their city.

They found some materials about the besieged crematorium, which had been located in Victory Park. They told me about it in a whisper because during Brezhnev's 21 era it wasn't allowed to mention it aloud.

There was a brick factory before World War II and during the siege of Leningrad the brick baking ovens were used as crematorium ovens, where dead bodies of citizens, who died in the siege, were burnt. What else could have been done? The city had to be saved, those who were alive had to be protected from infections. The information was kept secret, so that not only the enemies, but also our own people wouldn't know about it. By the way, when I didn't yet know anything about it, Ionce went with my husband to that park for a walk. We sat on a bench and I suddenly felt unwell, very uncomfortable and uneasy. Such a mystical thing!

Lev started working again in December 1982 and on 28th February 1983 an emergency occurred. I was at my parents' place in the evening, when the phone rang. Lev was speaking in a strange voice; I immediately understood that something terrible had happened. He was accused of receiving a bribe and arrested. He was very seriously struggling against hard drinking at work. The equipment was installed at a great height and Lev didn't want to face any accidents with human victims. He fired one of the drunkards and the latter wrote a complaint about him.

In order to use services of a crane- operator, who already got transferred to some other place, Lev wrote a receipt for a different person and was to give the money to that crane- operator. Many people did that, when people worked at different places, and such job combining was prohibited by legislation.

Lev was accused of accepting a bribe and was placed in the famous Leningrad Kresty prison. The amount of money in question was very small, and no one could understand such preventive punishment, but the investigator refused to alter it and release Lev 'under a written undertaking not to leave the place'.

My husband's muskrat hat was brought to me; it was all cut into pieces, the investigators were looking for something in it, as they explained to me. They searched my apartment on 8th March; they knocked on the walls, looking for hiding-places. They composed a statement, but there was nothing to make an inventory of.

Eight or nine investigators took turns on Lev's case, they had nothing to get hold of, but he remained in Kresty. I went to the prison along with his sisters; once every two months it was allowed to deliver a package. One had to, as Anna Akhmatova 22 wrote in her poems, stand in a very long line, face a 'hole' at the end of the line, where one could stick through his hand with a package, someone 'barked' something out of that hole and that was it.

Lev stayed in Kresty for half a year. We got him out of the prison with great difficulties. All witnesses in court were for the defense, the prosecution had none. Lev's colleagues found the anonymous man, who had written the letter, and beat him severely. These Russian guys actually helped me a lot.

But the court didn't withdraw the accusation and Lev was sentenced to work in 'chemistry', as it was called at that time. It was a hazardous production, he worked not far from Volosovo in Leningrad region at a wood-processing factory for one and a half years.

'Kresty' ruined his health. When he was released from prison, he had a green face and violet lips. His leg muscles were atrophied, he had to learn to walk again. The prison ward meant for four people contained 18 people, there was no air to breathe, no oxygen.

There were criminals and drug addicts among the prisoners. Lev didn't tell me about those details in order not to upset me. In Volosovo he had to register every day at the militia. He wasn't allowed to go to Leningrad on holidays, he was considered a social outcast, who should be in the city.

He was totally depressed and he couldn't get rid of it. Once we lost him on Victory Day 23 and found him later in a small village hospital with terrible pneumonia. Later, when he was in Kostyushko hospital in Leningrad, the doctors were very surprised at the absolute lack of resistibility, but when they found out about the prison, they didn't ask any more questions.

He returned at the end of 1984 and in August 1993 he died, having suffered three infarcts during that period of time. He was buried in the Preobrazhensky Jewish cemetery, not according to Jewish customs, but in a secular manner, without ceremonies. I visit the cemetery often, but I never go there on Saturday. I observe this Jewish custom.

I get packages and medicine in Hesed at lower prices. I have a lot of relatives who live both in Russia and abroad, in the USA, Israel, France and Germany. We keep in touch and call each other. Certainly, I'm very worried because of the acts of terrorism, which became more frequent recently.

When on 11th September the Trade Center Towers crashed down, we were very worried about all the Americans, but most of all we were alarmed about the fate of the grandchildren of Polina, my mother's sister, who study in prestigious schools, located not far from these Towers.

It wasn't possible to reach them via phone, and only through my cousin in Paris we found out that they were fine. And now this act of terrorism in Moscow. We didn't move away from our TV sets for days. Let alone Israel, where our relatives and friends live.

I had a positive attitude to their departure, I also wanted to leave together with my husband, but, as the only daughter, I couldn't leave my parents, especially when they were in their declining years and sick. Now that I'm a sick and elderly person myself I don't have any religious life, since it would be too difficult for me in terms of health. I lead a secular and a very modest life.

  • Glossary:

1 Reds: Red (Soviet) Army supporting the Soviet authorities.

2 Russian Revolution of 1917: Revolution in which the tsarist regime was overthrown in the Russian Empire and, under Lenin, was replaced by the Bolshevik rule. The two phases of the Revolution were: February Revolution, which came about due to food and fuel shortages during World War I, and during which the tsar abdicated and a provisional government took over. The second phase took place in the form of a coup led by Lenin in October/November (October Revolution) and saw the seizure of power by the Bolsheviks.

3 Blockade of Leningrad: On September 8, 1941 the Germans fully encircled Leningrad and its siege began. It lasted until January 27, 1944. The blockade meant incredible hardships and privations for the population of the town. Hundreds of thousands died from hunger, cold and diseases during the almost 900 days of the blockade.

4 Soviet-Finnish War (1939-40): The Soviet Union attacked Finland on 30 November 1939 to seize the Karelian Isthmus. The Red Army was halted at the so-called Mannengeim line. The League of Nations expelled the USSR from its ranks. In February-March 1940 the Red Army broke through the Mannengeim line and reached Vyborg. In March 1940 a peace treaty was signed in Moscow, by which the Karelian Isthmus, and some other areas, became part of the Soviet Union.

5 Great Patriotic War: On 22nd June 1941 at 5 o'clock in the morning Nazi Germany attacked the Soviet Union without declaring war. This was the beginning of the so-called Great Patriotic War. The German blitzkrieg, known as Operation Barbarossa, nearly succeeded in breaking the Soviet Union in the months that followed.

Caught unprepared, the Soviet forces lost whole armies and vast quantities of equipment to the German onslaught in the first weeks of the war. By November 1941 the German army had seized the Ukrainian Republic, besieged Leningrad, the Soviet Union's second largest city, and threatened Moscow itself. The war ended for the Soviet Union on 9th May 1945.

6 Great Terror (1934-1938): During the Great Terror, or Great Purges, which included the notorious show trials of Stalin's former Bolshevik opponents in 1936-1938 and reached its peak in 1937 and 1938, millions of innocent Soviet citizens were sent off to labor camps or killed in prison. The major targets of the Great Terror were communists.

Over half of the people who were arrested were members of the party at the time of their arrest. The armed forces, the Communist Party, and the government in general were purged of all allegedly dissident persons; the victims were generally sentenced to death or to long terms of hard labor. Much of the purge was carried out in secret, and only a few cases were tried in public 'show trials'.

By the time the terror subsided in 1939, Stalin had managed to bring both the Party and the public to a state of complete submission to his rule. Soviet society was so atomized and the people so fearful of reprisals that mass arrests were no longer necessary. Stalin ruled as absolute dictator of the Soviet Union until his death in March 1953.

7 Rehabilitation in the Soviet Union: Many people who had been arrested, disappeared or killed during the Stalinist era were rehabilitated after the 20th Congress of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union in 1956, where Khrushchev publicly debunked the cult of Stalin and lifted the veil of secrecy from what had happened in the USSR during Stalin's leadership. It was only after the official rehabilitation that people learnt for the first time what had happened to their relatives as information on arrested people had not been disclosed before.

8 Struggle against religion: The 1930s was a time of anti-religion struggle in the USSR. In those years it was not safe to go to synagogue or to church. Places of worship, statues of saints, etc. were removed; rabbis, Orthodox and Roman Catholic priests disappeared behind KGB walls.

9 Civil War (1918-1920): The Civil War between the Reds (the Bolsheviks) and the Whites (the anti-Bolsheviks), which broke out in early 1918, ravaged Russia until 1920. The Whites represented all shades of anti- communist groups - Russian army units from World War I, led by anti- Bolshevik officers, by anti-Bolshevik volunteers and some Mensheviks and Social Revolutionaries. Several of their leaders favored setting up a military dictatorship, but few were outspoken tsarists. Atrocities were committed throughout the Civil War by both sides. The Civil War ended with Bolshevik military victory, thanks to the lack of cooperation among the various White commanders and to the reorganization of the Red forces after Trotsky became commissar for war. It was won, however, only at the price of immense sacrifice; by 1920 Russia was ruined and devastated. In 1920 industrial production was reduced to 14% and agriculture to 50% as compared to 1913.

10 Kirov, Sergey (born Kostrikov) (1886-1934): Soviet communist. He joined the Russian Social Democratic Party in 1904. During the Revolution of 1905 he was arrested; after his release he joined the Bolsheviks and was arrested several more times for revolutionary activity. He occupied high positions in the hierarchy of the Communist Party. He was a member of the Central Committee of the Communist Party, as well as of the Political Bureau of the Central Committee. He was a loyal supporter of Stalin. In 1934 Kirov's popularity had increased and Stalin showed signs of mistrust. In December of that year Kirov was assassinated by a younger party member. It is believed that Stalin ordered the murder, but it has never been proven.

11 Communal apartment: The Soviet power wanted to improve housing conditions by requisitioning 'excess' living space of wealthy families after the Revolution of 1917. Apartments were shared by several families with each family occupying one room and sharing the kitchen, toilet and bathroom with other tenants. Because of the chronic shortage of dwelling space in towns communal or shared apartments continued to exist for decades. Despite state programs for the construction of more houses and the liquidation of communal apartments, which began in the 1960s, shared apartments still exist today.

12 Pushkin, Alexandr (1799-1837): Russian poet and prose writer, among the foremost figures in Russian literature. Pushkin established the modern poetic language of Russia, using Russian history for the basis of many of his works. His masterpiece is Eugene Onegin, a novel in verse about mutually rejected love. The work also contains witty and perceptive descriptions of Russian society of the period. Pushkin died in a duel.

13 War with Japan

In 1945 the war in Europe was over, but in the Far East Japan was still fighting against the anti-fascist coalition countries and China. The USSR declared war on Japan on 8 August 1945 and Japan signed the act of capitulation in September 1945.

14 Road of Life: It was a passage across Lake Ladoga in winter during the Blockade of Leningrad. It was due to the Road of Life that Leningrad survived in the terrible winter of 1941-42.

15 Kalinin, Mikhail (1875-1946): Soviet politician, one of the editors of the party newspaper Pravda, chairman of the All-Russian Central Executive Committee of Soviets of the RSFSR (1919-1922), chairman of the Supreme Soviet of the RSFSR (1922-1938), chairman of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR (1938-1946). He was one of Stalin's closest political allies.

16 Peter the Great (1672-1725): Tsar of Russia from 1689-1725. Peter Europeanized Russia by imposing Western ideas and customs on his subjects. His interests were wide-ranging: among others, he founded the Russian navy, reorganized the army on the Western lines, bound the administration of the church to that of the state and reformed the Russian alphabet. His introduction of Western ways was the basis for the split between upper classes and peasants that was to plague Russian society until the Revolution of 1917.

17 Russian stove: Big stone stove stoked with wood. They were usually built in a corner of the kitchen and served to heat the house and cook food. It had a bench that made a comfortable bed for children and adults in wintertime.

18 Campaign against 'cosmopolitans': The campaign against 'cosmopolitans', i.e. Jews, was initiated in articles in the central organs of the Communist Party in 1949. The campaign was directed primarily at the Jewish intelligentsia and it was the first public attack on Soviet Jews as Jews. 'Cosmopolitans' writers were accused of hating the Russian people, of supporting Zionism, etc.

Many Yiddish writers as well as the leaders of the Jewish Anti-Fascist Committee were arrested in November 1948 on charges that they maintained ties with Zionism and with American 'imperialism'. They were executed secretly in 1952. The anti-Semitic Doctors' Plot was launched in January 1953. A wave of anti-Semitism spread through the USSR. Jews were removed from their positions, and rumors of an imminent mass deportation of Jews to the eastern part of the USSR began to spread. Stalin's death in March 1953 put an end to the campaign against 'cosmopolitans'.

19 Mandatory job assignment in the USSR: Graduates of higher educational institutions had to complete a mandatory 2-year job assignment issued by the institution from which they graduated. After finishing this assignment young people were allowed to get employment at their discretion in any town or organization.

20 KGB: The KGB or Committee for State Security was the main Soviet external security and intelligence agency, as well as the main secret police agency from 1954 to 1991.

21 Brezhnev, Leonid, Ilyich (1906-82) Soviet leader. He joined the Communist Party in 1931 and rose steadily in its hierarchy, becoming a secretary of the party's central committee in 1952. In 1957, as protégé of Khrushchev, he became a member of the presidium (later politburo) of the central committee. He was chairman of the presidium of the Supreme Soviet, or titular head of state. Following Khrushchev's fall from power in 1964, which Brezhnev helped to engineer, he was named first secretary of the Communist Party.

Although sharing power with Kosygin, Brezhnev emerged as the chief figure in Soviet politics. In 1968, in support of the Soviet invasion of Czechoslovakia, he enunciated the 'Brezhnev doctrine,' asserting that the USSR could intervene in the domestic affairs of any Soviet bloc nation if communist rule was threatened. While maintaining a tight rein in Eastern Europe, he favored closer relations with the Western powers, and he helped bring about a détente with the United States. In 1977 he assumed the presidency of the USSR. Under Gorbachev, Brezhnev's regime was criticized for its corruption and failed economic policies.

22 Akhmatova, Anna (pen name of Anna Andreyevna Gorenko, 1888-1966): Russian poet, whose first book, Evening (1912), won her attention from Russian readers for its beautiful love lyrics. Akhmatova became a member of the Acmeist literary group in the same year and her second volume of poems, Rosary (1914) made her one of the most popular poetesses of her time. After 1922 it became difficult for her to publish as the Soviet government disapproved of her apolitical themes, love lyrics and religious motif. In 1946 she was the subject of harsh attacks by the Soviet cultural authorieties once again, and she was only able to publish again under Khrushchev's regime.

23 Victory Day in Russia (9th May): National holiday to commemorate the defeat of Nazi Germany and the end of World War II and honor the Soviets who died in the war.

Jemma Grinberg

Jemma Grinberg
Kiev
Ukraine
Interviewer: Zhanna Litinskaya

My name is Jemma Moiseyevna Grinberg. This is my maiden name. I have never been married. I was born in Astrakhan on 6 January 1930.

Family background
Growing up
During the War
After the War

Family background

My father's parents died before I was born. I know very little about my father's family. My father perished when I was 11 and there was nobody left who could tell me the history of his kinship. I know that they came from the village of Radzivillovo, Ukraine, located at the border with Poland. I also know that there were a few Jewish families living in this town and that there was a synagogue. There were Poles as well as Jews living in the town. They got along well and helped each other. My grandfather, father's father Leizer (Lazar) Grinberg was born around 1870 and my grandmother was a few years younger. I don't know my grandmother's name. My grandfather died in 1914. My grandmother lived a few years longer. I know that she died before the revolution of 1917.

My grandfather Leizer Grinberg was a shoemaker. The family was not very well off. They had six children they had to provide for. My grandmother, like all Jewish women of that time, was responsible for housekeeping. According to what my father's sister Rosa told us, my grandfather's family was religious. My grandfather and grandmother went to synagogue on holidays, and kept kosher. They celebrated the Sabbath and all the Jewish holidays: Pesach, YomKippur, Hanukkah, etc., but my father doesn't remember my grandmother and grandfather praying every day or fasting at all. They didn't force their children to pray or go to synagogue either, and almost all of them grew up as atheists. The boys studied at cheder. My grandfather and grandmother spoke Yiddish and all the children knew Yiddish, Ukrainian and Polish – the languages of communication in the town. All of my grandparents' children got a primary education, and then each of them went his own way.

When their oldest son, Yevsey, who was born around 1898, finished grammar school, he did not want to follow in his father's steps to become a shoemaker. He was a very educated and intelligent boy. After grammar school he went to Simferopol to stay with distant relatives. I don't have any information about what he was doing there. We have only a photo that he sent his mother from Simferopol in 1916 (grandfather Lazar had died before that). Like many others who came from poor families, Yevsey was enthusiastic about the October Revolution. He became a member of the Bolshevik Party and fought against the White Guards during the Civil War of 1913-1918. Yevsey's Party nickname was “Elegin,” and this soon became his last name. He was an outstanding Party activist, and a high Party official. From the mid-1930s Yevsey was Head of the Belaya Tserkov Party Committee. Belaya Tserkov is a district town not far from Kiev.

Yevsey had a daughter named Stella, who was born in 1930. Yevsey's wife died in childbirth in 1935. She suffered a hemorrhage resulting in the blood infection which killed her. Yevsey sent her to the Kremlin Hospital in Moscow, but the doctors there couldn't save her. Stella stayed with some distant relative of her mother's in Moscow and Yevsey returned to Belaya Tserkov. In 1938 when the repressions against the most outstanding Party and Soviet activists was at its height, Yevsey was accused of not revealing the names of enemies of the people, which prevented their delivery to the Soviet punitive authorities. Although he was 1st secretary of the party's town committee, they didn't allow him to attend the meeting, and closed the door in his face. Yevsey, realizing that he was going to be arrested, came home and shot himself. The farewell message he wrote to his daughter Stella on a photograph in which he appeared with her, read, “Don't believe anything bad about me. Continue on the road to communism.” (Editor's Note: In the mid-1930s Stalin launched a major campaign of political terror. The purges, arrests, and deportations to labor camps touched virtually every family. Untold numbers of party, industrial, and military leaders disappeared during the “Great Terror”. Indeed, between 1934 and 1938 two-thirds of the members of the 1934 Central Committee were sentenced and executed.)

Despite the violence and anarchy of his time, until his last moment Yevsey remained a devoted fighter for the cause of communism.

After Yevsey's death, his sister Rosa took her niece Stella to live with her, but Rosa couldn't afford to give Stella a higher education, so Stella worked as a nurse at a kindergarten and then as a shop assistant at a bookstore. She studied English and later made good use of it when she emigrated to the USA after losing both her husband and her only son. Her husband died from a coronary infarction while at work. He was a musician and was on tour in France in the 1970s when he fell ill and died. Her son received his education at the Kiev Institute of Culture. He was also a musician, and a very talented one. He died at home from epilepsy in 1996, when he was 42.

Rosa, born in 1899, lived a very humble life. She didn't have any opportunity for education. She worked as a janitor in a hospital until she retired with a miserable pension. She was not happy in her personal life. According to what she told me, she was in love with a young man whose name was Adolf, but I don't know whether he was a Jew or a German. He disappeared in the middle of the 1920s. Rosa couldn't forget her love and didn't want to have a romantic relationship with anybody else. She lived with Stella, her daughter. Adolf found Rosa in the mid-1970s. It turned out that he had been sent abroad as an intelligence officer and had not been allowed to say “good-bye” to her. By then, he had a family and children, but he always remembered Rosa and tried to find her as soon as he had the opportunity. Adolf supported her and Stella until Rosa died in the mid-1980s.

The next child in the family was Nehama, born around 1902. Nehama was called Ania at home. She completed her studies at a medical school and worked in the nursery room at the railway station in Kiev. Her husband, Boris Lensky (Lensky was his Party nickname), had been Yevsey's friend since the civil war. After the war he graduated from the Medical Institute and became a famous surgeon. Boris perished during WWII. Nehama and her daughter Regina were evacuated with us. After the war she returned to Kiev and lived with her daughter until her death in 1969. Regina died in 2001. Leonid, Nehama's older son, was also sent to the front during the war. The war changed his personality. He became withdrawn and lived alone.

The next sibling born into the family after my father was Leya, who was called Liza. Liza finished her studies at a pedagogical school and worked as a tutor at a hostel for laborers. She was single, but she has a daughter Tamara. Liza died in 1989 and Tamara, her daughter, now lives in Australia.

The youngest girl in the family, Fania, who was born in 1907, married Timofei Shybaev, a Russian who was the director of a big plant in Moscow. He was arrested in 1938. My father went to Moscow to meet with Vyshynsky to have Shybaev's case reviewed. Shybaev was subsequently released and the authorities apologized for their mistake, but forbade him to live in big cities. His family settled down in the village of Turbino, near Moscow, where Timofei worked as a Geography teacher at the local school. He became very nervous when he was not recruited during the first days of the war. He feared that the authorities did not believe he could be trusted to defend his Motherland. He even had a nervous breakdown. Then he was recruited into the Red Army and went through the war without one single wound. After the war he and Fania and their son Felix lived in Gorky. Fania and Timofei died in the mid-1970s.

My father Moisey Grinberg was born in 1903. After he finished his studies at cheder and then a Jewish primary school, he worked for some time in his father's shop, helping him repair shoes. In the early 1920s my father attended a trade union activist's school and for some time was involved in trade union activities. My father did not receive any special education, but he took a number of different courses and attended several workshops. He studied German and got a job as a German teacher at a school.

In 1925, my mother, Anna Deich, who, I would say, was an emancipated girl, saw a photo of my father while she was visiting his sister Rosa, her friend. Mother liked him a lot and wrote him a letter enclosing her address. They corresponded with one another through letters for a whole year before they met. Then, when they finally did meet, they fell in love with each other. In 1925 my father was arrested for some reason and was imprisoned for a few months. When he was released, my parents realized that they couldn't live without each other and got married. I mean, they just began to live together, because civil registration was considered to be a vestige of the past.

As for my mother's family, I only knew my grandmother, my mother's mother. My mother was born into the family of Shloime Deich. He had many children. My grandfather Shloime was born in 1865 in one of the Jewish towns in the province of Vinnitsa. My grandmother Rivka Leibovna Deich (maiden name Misserov) lived in Vinnitsa. After they got married my grandfather went to live with her and her family. In a few years they bought a house and my grandfather became a pharmacist. My grandfather Shloime was shot by bandits during the civil war (In the 1920s there were many anti-Semitic gangs in Ukraine. They killed Jews, robbed and burnt their houses, raped women and killed children.) The Bolsheviks expropriated his pharmacy and the family had to split, in order to find work and accommodation. They moved to Kiev.

My grandmother Rivka lived with the family of her son Aron. She was very religious and, although Aron and his family didn't believe in God, they respected my grandmother's faith and created conditions that allowed her to pray, observe Jewish traditions, and celebrate holidays. I saw my grandmother only once in 1936 when the whole family got together in Kiev to celebrate her 70th birthday anniversary. We were staying with Uncle Aron's family. I remember that when it was time for my grandmother's morning prayer she was to be left alone in the room. My older sister Regina was a self-willed girl and refused to leave the room. She told me later that she saw her grandmother reading her prayer from her prayer book. During the war my grandmother and Aron's family were evacuated to Perm. When they heard that the Germans had shot the parents and relatives of Aron's wife, Riva, along with other Jews in Rostov, my grandmother stopped believing in God. She exclaimed that God wouldn't have allowed this to happen. My grandmother also did something extraordinary. She wrote a will in Yiddish and hid it in the lining of her skirt. She told her children to strictly follow her Will after her death. My grandmother died in Perm in 1943 and it turned out that she had bequeathed her body to the medical institute because she wanted to serve people in this way. Her children did not dare to disobey her, and did as she had wished. About 30 years after the war, while my cousin was on a business trip in Perm, she found employees of this institute who remembered this unique occurrence. They gave her a preserved part of grandmother's body and my cousin buried what was left of my grandmother.

My mother's brothers and sisters were atheists, too. There were six of them, just like in my father's family. All of the children obtained a basic primary education, but they read a lot and were very educated and intelligent people. Polia, born around 1890, was the oldest. Before the war Polia, her husband, Israel, and her children, David and Fira, lived in Leningrad. During the war she was evacuated to Tashkent with her daughter Fira. Her older son David, who worked in mass media in Leningrad, stayed there and survived the blockade in Leningrad. Polia and Israel died in the evacuation. Fira returned to Leningrad after the war. David and Fira died some time ago.

The next child, Maria, was born in 1892. She was called Mutia at home. Maria made hats at home. Her husband, Efim German, was a very sick man, an epileptic. During the war Maria and Efim were evacuated to Kazan. Maria died in the early 1950s. Her older son Semyon (he was called Syunia at home) graduated from the Institute and was Chief Production Engineer at a Kiev plant. During the war he was involved in the evacuation of the plant and later worked in Kazan. His younger son, Lev, graduated from Kiev University and got married before the war. After the war he and his wife were lecturers at Kiev University. Lev lectured on history and his wife Sarra Frantsevna, a Jew, taught literature. In 1949 Lev and Sara were accused of cosmopolitism and fired. They moved to Perm. Lev defended his thesis on ancient history, and Sara defended her Ph.D. thesis on Russian literature in Perm. Lev died in 1989. Sara died some time later.

In 1895 my mother's only brother, Aron, was born. He went to cheder and that was all the education he got. But like all the other children, he studied on his own. He worked at a publishing house in Kiev without having obtained any special education in the field. During the war he was evacuated to Perm with his wife and mother. Aron died in 1978. Samuil and Naomi, his two children, became musicians. Samuil lived in Lvov for many years – he played the organ. He died in 1990. Naomi lives in Kiev.

The next child in the family was Bronia, born in 1898. Bronia worked as a clerk at a plant in Kiev – the same plant where her nephew Semyon worked. She was evacuated to Kazan with him. Bronia never married. She died in the mid-1970s.

My mother, Hana (Anna) Deich, who was born in 1900, was the first among the children to get an education at the Frebelev Institute, from which she graduated with a diploma allowing her to work with retarded children. Since childhood she had always been eager to get an education. This was not typical of Jewish girls, who were traditionally supposed to dedicate themselves to family life. In the 1920s education was free, and all children from proletariat families were admitted to educational institutions. So my mother had no problem gaining entrance into the institute and getting an education.

Her younger sister, Nelia, was born in 1904 and obtained a higher pedagogical education. She studied in Leningrad and then married Moisey Paniah, a Jew. Moisey was at the front during the war and Nelia and her sons, Victor and Alexandr, were evacuated to Kazan. Victor and Alexandr live in St.-Petersburg now. Nelia and Moisey died a long time ago.

My mother was a very progressive girl, and she “chose” a husband for herself, as she liked to joke. She was very much in love with her husband. She didn't hide her feelings and used to kiss and hug him in our presence. Only now have I come to understand how progressive her conduct was, considering that she was born into a provincial Jewish family. My father was very shy. He loved his wife dearly, but he was ashamed of her demonstrative emotions, especially when she expressed them in our presence.

Growing up

My parents didn't have an apartment until 1936, and they moved from one place to another. At first, my mother worked at the children's home for retarded children, but as soon as she got pregnant she quit that job. My older sister Regina was born in Kiev in 1927. I was born in Astrakhan, where my mother's younger sister Nelia and her husband Moisey were living. My first memories in life date from around 1933, when I was three years old and we lived in Sestroretsk near Leningrad. My mother was director of the children's home and my father worked in Leningrad. We had a nanny. Once, when she was not around, I decided to give medical treatment to one of my dolls, and put it very close to the stove. It started to burn, and so did I. I was on fire when my nanny came in. I spent several months in the hospital. Those are some of my earliest memories.

From 1935 we lived in Anapa, in the Caucasus. My sister was very sickly, and my parents were told to move to the seashore for a year. We rented a room there. Our landlady's name was Zhuk. I faced anti-Semitism there for the first time. The grown up son of our landlady called me and my sister “zhydovki” (kikes) whenever he saw us. Once, when we came back from the cinema we found our door lock covered in excrement. My father wasn't frightened, and sued our landlady's son for hooliganism. There was no law against ethnically based abuse at that time, but still the court sentenced Zhuk to one year in prison for hooliganism and anti-Semitism. After this court case, my father decided to leave Anapa, because this guy's friends were free and might have wanted to take revenge. We went to grandmother Riva's birthday celebration in Kiev and then to the village of Voronok, in the vicinity of Moscow. My father found a job as a German teacher for students in the senior classes, and my mother worked in the junior classes at the same and only Russian secondary village school. We received an apartment from the Department of Public Education. It was actually a 14 square meter room in a communal apartment, but we had our own dwelling for the first time. Our room was full of books. We lived there until the beginning of the war.

In 1937 I went to school. My sister was in the 3rd grade at this same school. There were Jewish children as well as children of other nationalities in my class. I remember my first teacher. She was a very nice Russian woman named Maria Vassilievna. She gave us our first lessons on internationalism. Yemelianov, my classmate, called me “zhydovka” once, and she told him to leave the classroom. Maria Vassilievna wanted to have him expelled from the school, but since this was the only school in the village, there was no other place he could go. The administration hushed up the incident, and nobody ever called me names again.

Although we knew that we were Jews, our parents tried to raise us without focusing on our ethnicity. Like any other children, we played the same games and didn't give a thought to who we were. We didn't know Yiddish, although our parents often spoke it. They didn't think it necessary to teach us Yiddish, or to tell us about the origin of the Jewish people, their history or religion. They also tried to suppress our interest in the Jewish issue, whenever we showed any. They realized that our life in the USSR would be easier if we were like everybody else. Just like any other Soviet children, we had no nationality or ethnicity. We celebrated only state holidays at home: the 1st of May, the October Revolution and the Commune of Paris days. My sister and I read a lot, attended events at literary and theatrical clubs, went in for sports, and loved volleyball. The celebration of any Jewish traditions or holidays was out of the question.

My parents weren't Party members, but they were real internationalists. When the war in Spain began and many Spanish children were taken to the Soviet Union, my mother, being so emotional, wanted to adopt a Spanish child. My sister Regina fell ill at that time and my mother regretted for many years that she couldn't adopt a Spanish child.

There was no talk about fascism in our family, although our parents and we knew about fascism in Europe. I remember seeing “The Oppengeim family” film (a German film made in the 1930s about the life and destruction of a Jewish family in fascist Germany) that we watched shortly before the war. Even after we had seen this film we tried to avoid any discussions about the negative attitudes of fascists toward the Jews. I guess, we were trying to spare one another from disturbing emotions.

During the War

I don't remember exactly how the war began. (editor's note: On 22 June 1941 at 5 o'clock in the morning, Nazi Germany attacked the Soviet Union without declaring war. This occurred in the beginning of the so-called Great Patriotic War) All I remember is that Nehama and her daughter Regina were spending that summer with us. A few weeks after the beginning of the war, the Germans started bombing the Scholkov Factory of Technical Fabrics, as this was a military facility to be destroyed. There were air raids and we taped crosses on the windows. Later, adults began to watch the roofs for firebombs. Once, our neighbor girl, Ellochka, came to tell us that there was a “little hare” in the sky. “Little hares” were German bombers. My father immediately sent us into the forest, hoping that there, we would survive the bombings. For some reason nobody thought about evacuating. We stayed in this village until the middle of October 1941. We heard rumors about what was going on in the occupied areas, and about Babiy Yar and the extermination of innocent Jewish people (Babi Yar is the site of the first mass shootings of the Jewish population that was done in the open by the Germans on September 29-30, 1941, in Kiev.)

Regina was panicking more than the others, and insisted on our evacuation. Our neighbors and we put our luggage on a cart and started moving east of town. After walking about 20 kilometers, we realized that we wouldn't make it, and returned. On the 16th and 17th of October, when Moscow was in a phase of siege, an uprising occurred in our village. The factory workers captured Chanov, the Director, and Semyonov, the Technical Director, rebelling against their order to blast the factory. The workers refused, voicing their argument that if they obeyed the order to blast the factory, they would no longer have a place to work and wouldn't be able to earn money to provide for their families. This was an emergency situation and from everybody's conduct it was clear what side of the argument people took. I remember hearing our neighbor Natasha, walking with her little son Gena, saying how good it was that the Germans were coming. I don't know what happened to her during the occupation.

At the end of October my father finally took us to the Northern railway station in Moscow. Aunt Fania and her son from Turbin were already there. The railway station was so crowded that we had to wait six days until we could leave. On the 1st of October, 1941, my father had received a subpoena to appear at the recruitment office on a certain date. The night before he was to go, my mother told him to go and stay with our acquaintances in Moscow so he could get a good night's sleep. My father obeyed and went there. On that very night we managed to get on a train that was leaving. We couldn't even say “good-bye” to my father. And we never saw him again. He perished in December 1941 in the battle for Moscow.

At first, when our trip began, we were all together on the train, with Fania and her son along with Nehama and her daughter, Regina. The railcars were overcrowded, and we had to take turns sleeping. The train was heading for the Urals. On the way, it was announced that we could also go to Tashkent. My mother decided that we should go somewhere where the climate was warm as we had no warm clothing with us, so our relatives went to Perm and we went to Tashkent. Perhaps it was a mistake, because we were alone there with no one to help us. We got off the train at night. Women and children mounted horse-driven carts and the rest were told to walk beside the carts. It was pouring rain and the horses got stuck in the clay and mud and couldn't pull the carts. We were told to get off the carts and walk. I shall never forget that terrible night, with our feet sinking in the clay and uncertainty ahead of us. Afterwards, I fell ill with a fever. My mother and I stayed in a small room so I could recover. After I got better, I went to work with the adults. We worked at the cotton plantation and as payment for our work received a bowl of balanda (some sort of soup made from whatever there was at hand). There was no bread, or any food at all. We were starving. My mother fell ill with tropical malaria and there were no medications to give her.

I remember that some Uzbek men started asking to get engaged to my sister and me. They believed that at 12 and 14 we were quite ripe for marriage. We were invited to the suitors' home and we accepted the invitation in order to have something to eat. We were sitting at the table eating delicious cake, stuffing ourselves as much as we could to make the meal last longer, while contemplating with anxiety the redemption to be paid for the fiancée, if you take my meaning.

My mother told the men that she was not opposing our getting married, but had to wait until her husband came back from the war so that she could ask his permission. We found ourselves in this type of situation several times, until finally, Mother realized that we had to leave this village because the suitors came to understand that the only reason we had accepted their invitation was to be able to get a decent meal. Our relatives from Perm and Kazan sent us some money for the trip, and we left for Kazan. We had to change trains several times. My mother was told that we couldn't buy tickets in Namanghan, unless she could bribe the director of the station. We wrapped money around a pile of paper, putting a bigger banknote on top, and gave this as our bribe. In exchange we received three tickets. Perhaps discovering our ruse, the director of the station notified the conductors of this, because someone wearing the railroad uniform approached us several times demanding money until Mama began shouting so that everyone would hear, “Stop demanding money from us! We already have our tickets.” Then he left us alone. We had only 34 rubles left. Someone told us that we could make a profit by buying salt and then selling it, so in Kuibyshev, leaving our mother to watch the luggage – her legs were so swollen that she couldn't walk - we went to the bazaar to sell the salt. We made a little money from our sale and moved on. In Kazan my mother's sister Nelia met us and immediately sent my mother to the hospital. The doctor there said that there was nothing he could do to help mother, but Nelia started selling all the clothes she had to buy food, and managed to cure Mama.

My sister and I hardly studied at all during the war. I went to school in Kazan. My sister Regina, however, didn't waste her time. She studied at home. She always had her textbooks with her. In 1944 she went to Moscow and gained admission into the Department of Political Economy of Moscow State University.

After the War

My mother worked as the director at the factory school in a small Tatar village of Amadysh not far from Kazan. After I finished the 8th grade I convinced my mother to move to Moscow. I was eager to continue my studies there. When we came to Moscow we didn't have a place to live – our house in Voronok had burned down, so for some time, we lived at the hostel with Regina. Later, Mama got a job assignment at the children's home in Repino, a village in the vicinity of Ivanovo. We didn't live there long. I went to my Aunt Fania in Gorky, and my mother went to Kiev. Mama got a position as director of the children's home in the village of Grebyonki near Kiev. I came to Kiev and went to school there in 1948. My mother and I didn't have a place to live. We rented a corner in a room and shared one bed. In 1949, twelve directors, all of them Jews, were fired, including my mother. Mama then found a job as a teacher at the kindergarten of the equipment plant.

After I graduated from school I submitted my documents to the Institute of Film Engineers. During the exams they asked me questions irrelevant to the school program, and put a “2” on my documents, a failing grade. The next year, I submitted my documents to the Silicate Institute. The admissions commission wrote “Jew” on my package in red pencil. Of course, I failed this time, too. ‘Understanding the road to the Institute was closed to me, instead, I gained admission to the Geology College. This was a very difficult profession, but I was admitted. After graduating from this college I chose the Far East for my job assignment. I was looking for romantic circumstances where I could be as far away as possible from Ukraine and any problems related to everyday routines, and I wanted to see something different. At first I lived in a room that I shared with some other people. This was during the time of the anti-Semitic “Doctors' Case,” and every evening I had to listen to what my neighbors were saying about Jews. (editor's note: Doctors' Case” - a set of accusations deliberately forged by Stalin's government and the KGB against Jewish doctors working at the Kremlin hospital, unjustly charging them with the murder of outstanding Bolsheviks. The “Case” was started in 1952, but was never concluded because Stalin died in 1953.)

They didn't know that I was a Jew. I don't know how they would have behaved if they had known. When the doctors were rehabilitated and the newspapers wrote about it, one of my roommates said, “Why reveal such a disgrace to the whole world? They should have released those people quietly so that nobody would know. They are zhydy and scumbags, anyway.” And at that moment I burst out and I told them everything I thought about the doctors' case and about anti-Semitism, that it was all a lie, and that they were mean and evil people if they could believe the propaganda rather than what they saw with their own eyes. As a result, our relationships were spoiled, though we had to continue to live together in that room for a long while.

After I had worked in the Far East for three and a half years, I returned to Kiev because my mother was not well. We didn't have a residential registration. (editor's note: Every individual in the USSR needed to have residential registration – a stamp in his or her passport with their permanent address. One couldn't find a job without such a stamp, or even travel within the country. To get such registration at somebody else's apartment one had to be a close relative. Besides, each tenant at an apartment needed to have at least 8 square meters of living space to be able to get registered. In this way the authorities restricted freedom of travel inside the country and kept everybody's whereabouts under control.)

We couldn't get registered in our relatives' apartments because they were not big enough. This situation continued for a long time until finally, I got registered. At that time, we did not observe any traditions or celebrate any Jewish holidays. We didn't have any opportunity to do so, and in any case, we didn't feel like having any celebrations. It seems to me now that there were no holidays at all during this period of my life.

For a long time I couldn't find a job. As soon as the bureaucratic officials in the Human Resources Department heard about my Jewish nationality, they told me that there was no vacancy and asked me to come back in a few months. Nobody had to tell me that the reason for their refusal was my nationality – no explanation was needed. I finally found a job at a laboratory in one of Kiev's plants. After I worked there for three years, I decided to enter the Polytechnic Institute. I had lengthy work experience and normally, should have had privileges. However, my boss didn't want to issue a recommendation letter for me to the higher educational institution. But this was after the 20th Party Congress , and we Jews were not so humble any more and were starting to stick up for ourselves. (At the 20th Congress of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union in 1956. Khruschev publicly debunked the cult of Stalin and lifted the veil of secrecy from what had been happening in the USSR during Stalin's leadership.)

I addressed the issue of the letter of recommendation to the director of the plant and called the conduct of my boss anti-Semitic. The director gave instructions to have a letter of recommendation issued for me. However, I never gained admission to the institute – they told me that my work experience was insufficient, though it was over three years long. I didn't try to enter the Institute another time. I worked at the plant until I retired from the position of Senior Production Engineer.

I had no personal life. Mama and I shared one room and a bed for many years. I couldn't even think of meeting a man and falling in love. I dedicated my life to working and to taking care of my mother. There wasn't much good in my life. My only holidays were my mother's and my relatives' birthdays. We sometimes went to the theater, but we spent most of our time in front of the TV, or reading. We didn't have enough space to invite guests, and we were not invited either. We received an apartment in 1974. My mother died in 1982. During the last years of her life Mamma wanted to move to Israel – she wanted us to go there. We got all the information we could about Israel from the mass media. I'm still sorry that I didn't have enough courage to leave. And considering my miserable income, I can't even dream of taking a trip to Israel.

My sister Regina is single, too. She lives alone in an apartment in Ivanovo. After she graduated from Moscow State University (the most prestigious higher educational institution in the former USSR) she grew fond of the theater and cinema and took a course for theatrical producers led by the famous producer of the Taganka Theater Lubimov. Regina founded a public theater in Ivanovo that became famous all over the Soviet Union. Great poets like Okudjava, Voznesensky, and Evtushenko came to visit her. A famous dissident poet, Alexandr Galich, and Vladimir Vysotsky were her friends. Now Regina is lonely and ill. Hesed supports her.

Only in recent years I have tried to celebrate Jewish holidays, read Jewish newspapers, or take part in the life of the Jewish community. I regret that I've come to identify myself as a Jew so late in life. However, I think that such is the common destiny of my generation.

Alena Munková

Alena Munková
roz. Synková
Praha
Česká republika
Rozhovor pořídila: Zuzana Strouhová
Období vzniku rozhovoru: říjen 2005-březen 2006

Paní Alena Munková, rozená Synková, se narodila v roce 1926 v Praze do rodiny dentisty Emila Synka. On sám byl politicky i odborně činný a jeho bratr, Karel, vedl před válkou známé pražské nakladatelství a knihkupectví, které převzal od svého otce, Adolfa Synka. Její maminka zemřela na rakovinu, když Alena Munková-Synková končila první třídu. Otec se podruhé oženil, ale i druhá manželka za pět let zemřela na rakovinu. Těsně před zákazem smíšených sňatků 1 se otec oženil potřetí. Vzhledem k tomu, že Emil Synek byl tímto manželstvím chráněn, byl k transportu do koncentračního tábora nejdříve povolán starší bratr paní Munkové, Jiří, který do transportu nenastoupil, přežil válku ve skrytu. Paní Munková byla povolána o něco později, také sama. Odjela do Terezína 2, kde ji před dalším transportem do Osvětimi chránilo to, že byla považována za míšenku. Po válce se vrátila do Prahy, kde nějakou dobu žila se svou nevlastní matkou, která válku také přežila, ač byla i s otcem paní Munkové zatčena gestapem, zřejmě na základě nějakého udání, a oba skončili v koncentračním táboře. Otec však zahynul v Osvětimi. Vystudovala novinářskou fakultu na Vysoké škole politické a sociální v Praze a nastoupila do hraného filmu na Barrandově [známé filmové studio v Praze – pozn. red.], odkud však byla kvůli svému židovskému původu vyhozena. Po několika peripetiích se však k filmu nakonec vrátila a až do důchodu pracovala jako dramaturg kresleného a loutkového filmu. Dnes žije v Praze se svým manželem, Jiřím Munkem, architektem, a je stále velmi aktivní.

Rodina
Dětství
Za války
Po válce
Po roce 1989
Glosář

Rodina

Můj dědeček z otcovy strany se jmenuje Adolf Synek. Narodil se 1. listopadu 1871. Podle kartotéky na židovské obci v Praze to bylo v Mitrovicích, psáno německy Mitrovitz. Ale nevím, v českém překladu to může být Mladá Vožice u Tábora. Všichni Synkové pocházeli z jižních Čech, od Tábora. Setkala jsem se s takovou publikací, nedávno vydanou, o starých firmách z tohoto kraje, kde bylo těch Synků spousta. Tam to bylo nejspíš takové krajové jméno. Dědečkův bratr Bohumil se však psal s měkkým i, to byla nejspíš otázka rodných listů. I já jsem s tím měla problémy, když jsem šla do penze, protože některé doklady mám s měkkým i a některé s tvrdým. Pokud vím, otcovi prarodiče pocházeli z Mladé Vožice, ale nic bližšího o nich nevím. Statkáři to asi nebyli, spíš bych řekla, že to byli nějací zemědělci nebo obchodníci. Nevím, to bych musela hádat. Dědeček zemřel  20. ledna 1943 v Terezíně, kam šel 20. listopadu 1942.

Dědeček vysokoškolské vzdělání určitě neměl, byl vyučený a to zřejmě někde ve Vídni. Jeho rodným jazykem ale byla čeština. Celý život pak pracoval jako knihkupec a nakladatel, to tenkrát bývalo obvykle spojeno. Proslavil se tím, že měl monopol na světoznámého Haškova Švejka 3. Pak měl ještě takovou edici, která se jmenovala „Malá díla velkých autorů“, nebo nějak tak, a to byly klasické knihy, od Thomase Manna [Mann, Paul Thomas (1875 – 1955): německý spisovatel, filantrop a esejista. V roce 1929 získal Nobelovu cenu za literaturu – pozn. red.] počínaje, nevím kým konče. Jak dědeček to nakladatelství získal, nevím, ale bylo v Praze 7 na Letné, v Janovského ulici, která se, myslím, stále ještě nepřejmenovala. Pamatuji si, jak jsem k němu jako malé dítě chodila na návštěvu. Knihkupectví bylo dole v přízemí, takže jsem si vždycky stoupla na parapet okna a on mě sundával z toho okna dolů. Nakladatelství potom převzal strýc Karel, někdy v roce třicet šest, a celé se to stěhovalo do Vodičkovy ulice. Je to obchod proti ulici V Jámě. Kromě nakladatelství a knihkupectví tam ještě byla takzvaná „Dětská síňka Karla Synka“, kde byly i nějaké hračky.

Můj dědeček měl dva bratry, Bohumila a Rudolfa. Bohumil Sinek se narodil 19. října 1872 a 10. července 1942 šel do Terezína. Zemřel v Treblince, ale kdy, to nevím. Rudolf Synek se narodil 5. ledna 1876 a 25. dubna 1942 šel do transportu a odvezli ho do Varšavy. O tom, že šlo něco do Varšavy, jsem předtím nic neslyšela. Do Lodže 4, to ano, ti šli v jednačtyřicátém. Ale takhle to stojí v kartotéce, která je na židovské obci [v Praze]. S křížkem, že tam zemřel. Kdy, to se neví, ale asi v roce čtyřicet tři. Když tam odjížděl už v dubnu čtyřicet dva, tak to déle určitě nevydržel. 

O jeho bratrech vím jenom to, že asi byli ze zámožnější vrstvy, protože Bohumil Sinek byl majitelem minimálně jednoho domu, který jsem pak měla zdědit. Bohumil totiž své vlastní děti neměl. Ale těch domů bylo asi víc. Pamatuji si, že bydlel na rohu tehdejší Sanitrovy ulice. Ten dům, jehož byl majitelem, byl ale jinde, v Bílkově ulici. Také si pamatuji, že jsem v tom domě byla, když byl pohřeb T.G. Masaryka 5. Tenkrát jel totiž kolem pohřební průvod, a tak se nás tam sešlo asi padesát, z mého pohledu strašně moc lidí, bylo tam velké pohoštění a dívali jsme se. Šlo zřejmě o samé příbuzné, o jejichž existenci jsem ani nevěděla. To mně bylo asi tak osm, devět let. Tehdy jsem měla pocit, že ti lidé snad nepracují. Na druhou stranu to už byli pánové v letech, tak nevím. Třeba to byli nějací tehdejší podnikatelé, nevím, to bych si opravdu vymýšlela. 

Čím byl Rudolf, nevím. Vzpomínám si jen, že měl velký knír. Měl dvě dcery, Martu a Irmu. Její manžel se jmenoval Iltis, po válce vedl časopis na Židovské obci. Měli spolu dceru Ruth. Ale potom se rozvedli a Irma s Ruth emigrovala do Chile. A pak jsem se náhodou dověděla, a není to tak dávno, že obě zemřely v Izraeli. Že se z Chile, nevím kdy a proč, přestěhovaly do Izraele. Zřejmě po dlouhých letech. Marta byla ještě po válce tady v Praze, ale o ní nevím vůbec nic. Najednou prostě nebyla, zřejmě zemřela.

Babička se jmenovala Terezie, za svobodna Löfflerová, a pocházela odněkud ze Slovenska. O jejích rodičích nic nevím. Ale asi to nebyli bůhvíjak majetní lidé, protože šla sloužit do Vídně. Ale to je jenom moje hypotéza. Vzdělání měla nejspíš základní. Dědečka potkala ve Vídni, kde pracovala jako služebná. Tam se pravděpodobně také brali, protože můj tatínek, Emil Synek, se tam narodil, ale poměrně brzy se stěhovali do Československa. Zemřela v roce 1939 v ústavu pro choromyslné. Její sestra a maminka těchto dvou sester byly také duševně nemocné, takže mám takovou dobrou anamnézu. Co přesně za nemoc měla, nevím, ono se to tenkrát asi ještě ani neklasifikovalo. Možná to byla nějaká demence nebo něco takového. Já sama, jako desetiletá, jsem na ní viděla značné stopy nesoustředěnosti a odtrženosti od života. A vím, že v  takové té veliké vyšívané tašce, jakou tenkrát dámy nosívaly, měla hrozný nepořádek. Čili ony už tam byly nějaké zárodky schizofrenie nebo nějaké nervové nemoci. Jinak byla mimořádně hodná, laskavá a ve svých vnucích se samozřejmě viděla, jak to normálně u babiček bývá. Pohřbená je na novém židovském hřbitově v Praze, to jsem našla teprve teď nedávno. Na starém hřbitově se v té době už nepohřbívalo. Ale nemá náhrobek, protože to už bylo v roce 1939 zakázané. Ten budu muset nechat udělat. Jestli ona sama nějak židovsky žila, to nevím, u nás se o tom vůbec nemluvilo.

Rodina Synkova byla naprosto asimilovaná. S dědečkovými bratry, Rudolfem a Bohumilem, jsem se, pravda, nestýkala, takže nevím. Pokud jde o dědečka Adolfa, tak si vůbec nepamatuji, že by něco bylo, že by slavil nějaké svátky, ačkoliv jsme jak my, tak dědeček, bydleli na Letné, blízko sebe, takže bych si pravděpodobně něčeho všimla. Ale já si na nic takového nepamatuji. Vím jen, že můj otec, který byl velmi liberální, mě nechal takzvaně osvobodit od náboženské výuky, protože chtěl, jak mi pak říkal, abych si jednou vybrala sama. Ale podle mne to byla chyba, protože to patří ke vzdělání. A pamatuji si, že se to před dědečkem tajilo. Že by se prý býval zlobil, takže tady nějaké tradice zřejmě byly. Navíc jeho dva synové, jak můj otec, tak můj strýc Karel, si vzali za manželku křesťanku. U strýce to byla již jeho první žena, u mého otce až druhá a třetí.

Dědeček z matčiny strany se jmenoval Bohumil Steiner. Narodil se v roce 1871 v Kovansku, okres Nymburk. Příslušným však tehdy do Kolína. Žil v Kolíně, kde obchodoval s látkami, na ten obchod si pamatuji. Zemřel 20. září 1932, rok před smrtí mé matky, neboli své dcery, Marie. Pravděpodobně v Kolíně, protože jsem někde měla doklady o tom, co babička platila pohřebnímu bratrstvu, a to všechno bylo v Kolíně. Na starém kolínském židovském hřbitově musí někde nejspíš být. 

Babička z matčiny strany se jmenovala Hermína, za svobodna Fialová. Narodila se 10. srpna 1869, takže byla o dva roky starší než dědeček, což bylo v té době velmi neobvyklé. Muži bývali naopak třeba o dvacet let starší. I já mám mladšího muže, takže jsem v „tradici“. Po dědečkově smrti se babička přestěhovala se sestrou mé matky, Annou, z Kolína do Prahy.

Kdy přesně, to netuším, ale ono asi chvíli trvalo, než bývalý obchod zlikvidovali. Dědeček měl totiž v Kolíně obchod se střižním zbožím, v takové uličce blízko náměstí. Pamatuji se, že se tam šlo rovnou z ulice a že tam na tom dvoře - jako bych to před sebou i teď viděla - bylo dláždění, které bylo tak prorostlé, že ta travička vykukovala kolem dláždění. Jako dítě mě tenkrát velmi zajímalo, jak to, že tam, mezi dlažebními kostkami, roste tráva. Takový barevný vjem, to vám zůstane na celý život.

V Praze měly má babička s tetou Annou také nějaký malý obchod, na Smíchově, ale hned zkrachovaly. Pak ho měly na Žižkově a zase zkrachovaly. No, neuměly to, babička to asi nikdy nedělala. Zemřela někdy za války, nejspíš v roce 1942. Jestli měla nějaké sourozence, to nevím. Já jsem s nimi pak ztratila kontakt, protože po smrti mé první maminky se otec podruhé oženil a ačkoliv ta druhá maminka byla velice hodná, tak se mého kontaktu s tou původní rodinou bála. Ale já jsem na Žižkov tak jednou za rok beztak chodívala. Pamatuji se, že bydleli v Miličově ulici 5.  Ale jakmile jsem tam vešla, tak se babička rozplakala,  protože jak mě viděla, tak jí hned bylo líto, že jí umřela dcera. V mé paměti byla taková velice subtilní, taková správná babička, věchýtek. Ale to už je po těch letech nejspíš trošku konstrukce.

V mé paměti byl dědeček vysoký a babička malá. I moje maminka a teta byly poměrně malé, to jsem asi zdědila po nich. Ale dědeček Steiner, ten byl vysoký. Takže alespoň můj bratr, Jiří, není takový prcek. To jsem mu hodně záviděla. Já mám ale zase po dědečkovi oči, jejich tvar, posazení, pohled, barvu. Otec měl oči šedivé, matka byla tmavooká, ale já mám po dědečkovi oči dost intenzivně modré. Geny jsou geny.

Co se náboženství matčiných rodičů týče, tam si na nic nepamatuji. K dědečkovi jsme jezdili, pamatuji si, jak si se mnou hrával a dostávala jsem od něj ústřižky látek. A vím, že dědeček s sebou brával mého bratra Jiřího, který je o pět let starší než já, na jarmark, kde vždycky vystavoval své zboží. Ale nevzpomínám si, že by třeba slavili nějaké svátky. 

Můj otec, Emil Synek, se narodil, jak jsem říkala, ve Vídni. 1. června 1894. Vyučil se zubním technikem a laborantem a pak si udělal nějaké zkoušky, takže byl takzvaně dentista. Což znamenalo, že mohl i trhat zuby a vůbec mohl dělat všechno na úrovni zubního lékaře. Na Letné měl svou vlastní velkou zubařskou praxi. Byl také zřejmě velmi činný v grémiu zubařů, dělal nějaké přednášky a já nevím, co všechno. Ve své profesi byl velmi aktivní, pořád se vzdělával a studoval desítky odborných časopisů. Byl u nás myslím jedním z prvních, kdo měl rentgen. Pamatuji se, že byl od Siemense, ta firma ho k nám dodávala z Německa. Ale nebyl lékař, byl dentista. Byl mimochodem velmi populární, protože zadarmo spravoval zuby tehdejšímu fotbalovému družstvu Sparta 6. Pro něj bylo koneckonců charakteristické, že mnoha lidem, když neměli peníze, spravoval zuby zadarmo. Říkával, že si to přirazí na bohatých. Dnes by nemohl existovat, během roku by zkrachoval. Měl totiž silné sociální cítění, což bylo ostatně v bohatých židovských rodinách časté.

Za první světové války byl tatínek v armádě, ale kde a jak dlouho, to nám nevyprávěl. Ale vím určitě, že nám říkal, že v roce osmnáct byl v uniformě, když se strhávali rakouské znaky. On měl tenkrát z toho převratu v roce osmnáct velký zážitek.  Moc dlouho na vojně ale asi nepobyl, protože byl nějak raněn. I když kdo ví, jak to bylo, protože tatínek byl hodně proti válce zaujatý, byl odjakživa antimilitarista.

Otec měl jednoho bratra, Karla. Ten byl o něco mladší než on, myslím, že se narodil někdy kolem roku devadesát šest [1896]. Za manželku si vzal Vlastu, za svobodna Kolářovou. Ta se vyučila zubní laborantkou u mého otce, kde se se strýcem seznámili. Vlasta nebyla židovského původu, takže strýc by býval díky tomu smíšenému manželství válku přežil, ale oni se kvůli majetku rozvedli. Asi v roce čtyřicet nebo čtyřicet jedna. Teta se asi bála s židem žít. Neřekla bych, že to bylo jen naoko, protože spolu pak už ani nežili. Myslím, že strýc pak bydlel u svého otce, ale přesně nevím. K nám chodíval na oběd. Už před odchodem do Terezína měl strýc otevřenou tuberkulózu – pamatuji se, že jsme vždycky myli všechno nádobí hypermanganem - a v Terezíně této nemoci podlehl,  v roce čtyřicet tři.

Karel měl s Vlastou dvě dcery, René a Milenu. René je o rok mladší než já, narodila se 23. září 1927. Pamatuji se, že když jsme chodívaly do obecné školy, tak jsme šly vždycky do školy spolu, protože oni také žili na Letné. René se pak provdala za Igora Korolkova, který pocházel z ruské emigrantské rodiny, a společně po válce emigrovali do Holandska. Ona stále ještě žije, v Amsterdamu, a její manžel před dvěma lety zemřel. René se tady před emigrací vyučila švadlenou a potom studovala filosofickou fakultu, ale nedostudovala. V Amsterodamu pak měli velký módní salón s mnoha zaměstnanci, kde vyráběli takovou lepší konfekci. Druhá dcera, Milena, provdaná Kuthejlová, se narodila v lednu třicet sedm, myslím. Vystudovala vysokou ekonomickou a pracovala v televizi, kde dělala redaktorku časopisů o televizních programech. Myslím, že tam snad ještě teď jako penzistka - ona je o jedenáct let mladší než já – pracuje v knihovně. Přesně nevím.

Moje sestřenice za války do transportu nešly, protože to byly míšenky. Málokdo ví, že pro děti ze smíšených rodin existovala podle Norimberských zákonů 1 hranice třicátý pátý rok. Děti které se narodily před rokem třicet pět a nebyly zapsány na Židovské obci, což obě sestřenice nebyly - z toho také vyplývá, jak byla naše rodina nábožensky zaměřená - tak byly takzvaní árijští míšenci. Děti narozené před pětatřicátým rokem, které na Židovské obci zapsané byly, byly židovští míšenci. A děti, které se narodily po pětatřicátém roce, tak byly židovští míšenci, ať byly zapsaní nebo ne. Já sama to vím, protože mě za míšenku také považovali, což mi zachránilo život.  Co se náboženství týče, jak jsem naznačovala, strýc Karel nijak židovsky nežil, svátky vůbec neslavil. Nevím, jak hluboce vnímal svůj židovský původ, ale oni mu to pak Němci připomněli.

S rodinou strýce jsme se samozřejmě stýkali, rodina držela pohromadě. Já jsem se často vídala i se sestřenicí René. Můj otec byl jeden čas v Živnostenské straně 7, protože on byl ze zásady pro střední cestu, a jeho bratr, strýc Karel, ho prý přemlouval, aby volil Národní socialisty. Ale nevím, jak to dopadlo. Můj otec byl snad v té Živnostenské straně v rámci Prahy 7 i nějak činný, ale nic přesného nevím. Velmi se angažoval také v grémiu zubních lékařů, kde měl nějaké přednášky a snad i nějakou funkci, nevím jakou. Můj otec byl vůbec velice společenský, velice často chodil večer ještě pryč, do kaváren a tak. Já jsem v rámci těchto skupin jako jedenáctiletá hrála nějaké divadlo a chodila jsem do Sokola 8. Tam jsem měla i svůj první konflikt, kdy na mě křičeli „židovko“. Otec byl činný ve Svazu Čechů-židů 9, kde byli soustředěni asimilovaní židé, kteří se ztotožňovali s českým národem. Vydávali týdeník Rozvoj, který otec odebíral.

Moje maminka se jmenovala Marie, rozená Steinerová. Narodila se 9. srpna 1898 v Kolíně – byla o čtyři roky mladší než můj otec - a zemřela ještě před válkou, v roce 1933, na rakovinu. Jak jsem se pak dozvěděla, na rakovinu zemřel i její otec rok před ní.

Jak se seznámili s otcem? To nevím, maminka byla z Kolína a otec z Prahy, ale tenkrát se páry zřejmě všelijak dohazovaly a vyprávělo se - to berte v uvozovkách - že otec potřeboval bohatou nevěstu, aby si mohl založit zubní ordinaci. Do té doby byla maminka doma, jak se tehdy na mladé dívky slušelo a patřilo. Žádné vysokoškolské vzdělání určitě neměla, ale nádherně hrála na klavír. Bývala taková silně melancholická a celé dny hrávala. Ani jaké střední vzdělání měla, netuším. Možná k nim někdo chodil a dával jí hodiny. To by tak asi odpovídalo té sociální skupině. Mladé dívky měly umět vařit, šít a hrát na klavír.

Ani nevím, jakého byla náboženského založení, mně bylo šest let, když zemřela – bylo to na konci první třídy obecné školy – a už poslední dva roky byla nemocná.

Maminka měla jednu sestru, jmenovala se Anna Schwelbová. Narodila se 10. 12. 1904.  Byla asi třikrát vdaná a s jedním z manželů, jakýmsi Neumannem, měla syna Zdeňka, který byl o dva roky starší než já. Myslím, že ten Neumann, ale to nevím jistě, možná to byl Schwelba, byl holič nebo kadeřník, něco takového. Anna se synem a se svou matkou, mou babičkou Hermínou Steinerovou, šli do transportu už někdy začátkem roku 1942 a možná ani nešli přes Terezín, ale rovnou někam dál. Myslím, že zahynuli někde v Polsku.

Dětství

Já se jmenuji Alena Munková a narodila jsem se 24. září 1926. Na to ani nesmím myslet, to je hrozné. Narodila jsem se v Praze a kromě Terezína jsem nikde jinde nežila.  Mám jednoho bratra, ten je ročník dvacet jedna. Narodil se 26. listopadu. Vlastním jménem je Jiří Synek, ale je znám také pod svým uměleckým jménem František Listopad [Listopad František (nar. 1921): vl. jm. Jiří Synek, český básník a prozaik – pozn. red.]. Jeho umělecké jméno uvádím proto, že je ve světě i tady pod svým pseudonymem dost znám. Vyšlo mu několik knížek a také dělá divadlo. Rodičům se přede mnou narodilo ještě jedno dítě, ale to brzy zemřelo. Žádné jiné sourozence tedy nemám, ani nevlastní. Můj otec se totiž ještě dvakrát oženil, ale s žádnou z těch žen dítě neměl a ani ony samy ve svém předchozím manželství dítě neměly. Byly rozvedené a bezdětné, když si ho braly.

Mé dětství je velice spjato s Letnou, kde jsem žila. Skutečně jsem tam do toho chodníku byla vrostlá. Jak se říká, že je člověk vrostlý do půdy, tak tady to byl chodník, vydlážděný chodník. Na Letné jsem znala všechny obchodníky, lítala jsem tam do parku a do Stromovky. A ztráta toho místa, kde člověk prožil dětství  - a jistě je to tak pro každého - se již nikdy nedá obnovit. To si na to člověk tak trochu hraje, ale je to pryč. Po válce jsem se sice ještě na Letnou vrátila, ale všechno bylo jinak. Ale dodnes, když jedu kolem Letné, tak mě píchne. Dodnes cítím i tu vůni, jak to tam vonělo. Já si velmi vybavuji barvy, a vůně snad ještě víc. Myslím, že dětství člověka formuje, ať chce, nebo nechce. Nebo také deformuje.

Takže před válkou byla Letná celý můj svět. Mám takovou vzpomínku na dvorek domu, kde jsme bydleli. Ten existuje dodneška, bylo to v přízemí, na rohu, číslo 1. Tehdy to byla Belcrediho třída, teď je to, jestli se nepletu, Milady Horákové. Pak tam udělali banku a teď je tam, myslím, KFC. No, čím dál hůř. Tenkrát, když se vešlo do domu, a já se dokonce domnívám, že ty dveře jsou stále skoro stejné, v hrozném stavu, tak na konci takové chodby, která se ohýbala do L, se vcházelo do bytu. Ale z druhé strany, hned za těmi domovními dveřmi, byly další dveře a ty vedly do čekárny a do ordinace. Čili celé přízemí bylo rozděleno na otcovu zubní praxi a byt. Pak tam byl samozřejmě dvorek a tam jsem si hrála. Věšely se tam koberce, byly tam takové dva stromky a bylo to tam docela špinavé. A v přízemí dole v domě byl vetešník, jmenoval se Andrle. To byla tajemná postava a já jsem nikdy neměla odvahu jít dolů do suterénu. Mimochodem, v těch bytech tenkrát bývalo sociální zařízení na chodbě, nikoliv v bytech. Ale ten záchod byl samozřejmě jenom náš.

Nepamatuji se, že bychom měli v tom prvním období služebnou, protože maminka byla doma a protože tam byla domovnice, která posluhovala, a zřejmě tam také chodil někdo prát. Takže tam možná byla výpomoc, posluhovačky a něco takového. Já to mám samozřejmě už v hrozně mlhavé paměti. Ale služebná jako taková by tam ani neměla kde bydlet.

Než jsem nastoupila do školy, tak jsem byla doma, ale podle vyprávění chodil můj starší bratr Jiří ten poslední rok, než šel do školy, do francouzské školky. Ale pamatuji se, jak jsem s maminkou v Břevnově, a dokonce vím asi kde bylo schodiště, po kterém mě vodila do taneční školy. To mi bylo pět.  Dokonce jsem prý v nějaké té taneční škole pro malé děti měla vystupovat v divadle, v tehdejším Německém divadle, což je dneska Státní opera vedle Hlavního nádraží. Ale otec to zakázal, že nechce, aby ze mě vyrostlo něco u divadla. Přestože byl takový volnomyšlenkář, tak se v něm něco konzervativního ozvalo. Pamatuji se, že jsem z toho byla hrozně smutná. Maminka to asi nevybojovala, nebo nechtěla, to nevím.

Na žádné společné dovolené nebo výlety si nepamatuji, to mám už opravdu v mlze, možná by si vzpomněl bratr, ten je přece jen o pět let starší. Já si pamatuji jen ty cesty do Kolína k dědečkovi.

Pak jsem nastoupila do první třídy. Z té doby si pamatuji, že pro mě před školu chodil učedník z otcovy laboratoře. Já jsem vždycky přišla s rozvázanými tkaničkami, tak mi je vždycky zavazoval. Na to mám velmi silnou vzpomínku. Ten učedník klekl a zavazoval mi boty. To je docela roztomilé. Nevím, jestli jsme měli vždycky tělocvik, nebo proč jsem je neměla zavázané. Ale tenkrát se nosili šněrovací kotníkové botičky, nikoliv sandály. Myslím si, že to už byla maminka moc nemocná, a tak se o mně nikdo moc nestaral. Že to je důsledek toho, že nebyl nikdo, kdo by mi řekl: „Musíš si to sama zavázat.“ Proto to vyprávím, ne kvůli těm botám. Že jsem byla trošku, ne úmyslně, ale situací, která byla v naší rodině, vlastně malinko outsider.

Ale to bylo dané tím, že maminka umírala, a ta rakovina se, myslím, táhla docela dlouho. Vzpomínám si, jak jsem v pokoji, v jakési jídelně, a vedle leží moje maminka a s ní je babička Hermína, která přišla na návštěvu, a maminka hrozně pláče. Ony nevěděly, že já poslouchám. A maminka říká: „Co bude s těmi dětmi, co bude s těmi dětmi?“ A babička ji těší. Pro mě to byl hrozný zážitek. Jednak jsem nechtěla, aby věděly, že to slyším, a pak, pro to dítě, to se vám najednou něco otevře, že ani ten dosah přesně nevíte, protože ta slova nejsou úplně vyplněná obsahem, a přece víte, že je to něco hrozného. Že je to něco strašného, nespravedlivého, krutého, něco, čemu se ani nemůžete bránit. To byl pro mne v tomhle raném věku jeden ze strašně silných okamžiků. To mně bylo šest. Já jsem na to později napsala i takovou báseň. Také si pamatuji, jak mi připadalo hrozné, když to pak ve třídě učitelka oznámila a říkala: „Chudince vaší spolužačce…“.  To bylo strašné.  I když ona třeba myslela, že je to tak v pořádku, nevěděla, jak jinak reagovat. To člověk vůbec nemůže soudit.

Ta učitelka se mimochodem jmenovala Helena Tůmová a byla to stará panna, protože za první republiky 10. Pamatuji si, že byla velice přísná, ale všechno, co umím, tak vlastně umím za těch prvních let, kdy nás učila. Všechno, co umím z češtiny, umím od ní. Ten základ byl perfektní.

Na to, co se dělo po smrti mé matky, se nepamatuji, tam mám tmu. Jen si vzpomínám, jak se stěhujeme do dalšího bytu. Otec se totiž podruhé oženil, ale ta druhá žena za pět let také zemřela na rakovinu. To pro otce muselo být šílené, naprosté vykolejení. Mně bylo dvanáct, takže to bylo nejspíš v roce třicet sedm, třicet osm. Ta žena se jmenovala Marta, původním jménem Poláková, pak Erbenová a po mém otci Synková. Takže byla jednou rozvedená. I ona byla zubní lékařka, čili se zřejmě seznámili v profesních kruzích. Byla evangelička, z evangelické rodiny, ale to vůbec nehrálo roli. Žádné konfliktní situace jsem s ní neměla, ona byla prima. Když pak těžce onemocněla, tak jsem u ní hodně sedávala, protože to mně už bylo jedenáct, dvanáct. Ale pamatuji se, že můj bratr jí odmítal říkat maminko a říkal jí Marto. Vzbouřil se. No, on byl tenkrát naplno v pubertě. Byly kvůli tomu děsné konflikty, ale otec ho nezlomil. Já sama jsem jí říkala mamko. Ani ne maminko, ale mamko. Žádný blok jsem ve vztahu k ní neměla, ale trochu jsem z ní měla strach. Ona byla veliká a tmavá a byla poměrně, jak už lidé z evangelického prostředí bývají, nebo bývali, takoví přísní a ušlechtilí. Něco takového tam bylo. Navíc už taky nebyla nejmladší a těžko k dětem hledala cestu. Ještě ke mně jakž takž, ale k mému bratrovi ji asi nenašla nikdy. Sama děti neměla, byla to samostatná, emancipovaná žena - těch žen, které studovaly medicínu, tenkrát také nebylo tolik - takže jsem přesvědčená, je to tedy moje dedukce, ale určitě správná, že to pro ni byl problém, vzít si muže se dvěma dětmi. A ten kluk byl navíc ještě v pubertě a vzpurný. To víte, že otec se tou situací také trápil.

Jak jsem říkala, má druhá matka byla také zubní lékařka. Z našeho původního bytu vznikla ordinace pro ní, udělali jsme tam i velkou čekárnu a laboratoř, kde se zpracovávaly zuby. V té laboratoři jsme měli několik zaměstnanců. My jsme se přestěhovali na tehdejší Bělského třídu, teď je to, myslím, ulice Dukelských hrdinů, do moderního čtyřpokojového bytu s veškerým komfortem. Tam už jsme s bratrem měli dětský pokoj, byla tam velká jídelna, pánský pokoj, ložnice rodičů a samozřejmě kuchyň a pokoj pro služebnou, kterou jsme tenkrát měli. Jednu jsme měli dlouhou dobu, když zemřela i ta druhá matka, tak tam ještě byla. Říkalo se jí Fančo, vím, že byla z Boskovic u Brna, z Moravy. Těch moravských děvčat bylo ve službě asi dost a vím, že se s nimi asi velmi solidně zacházelo. Fanča si z toho, co si u nás vydělala, například postavila domek v Ďáblicích.

Rodiče mé druhé matky Marty žili ve vesnici Kluky u Poděbrad. K těm jsme jezdívali často, skoro každou neděli, protože můj otec byl vášnivý automobilista. Každou chvíli jsme měli nějaký nový vůz. Řekla bych, že jsme byli asi tak střední třída. Neměli jsem domy, otec to nikdy nechtěl. Ale nová auta jsme měli pořád, tři roky a už zase nové auto. Rodiče si asi také dopřávali slušnou dovolenou, i když ani nevím kolik ročně vydělávali. Často jezdívali do Tater [Vysoké Tatry: pohoří na Slovensku – pozn.red.]. Ale otec vždycky říkal, že nešetří. A to udělal strašně dobře. Říkával, že když má ve státě fungovat ekonomický systém, tak peníze musí přijít do oběhu. To byla jeho deviza. Naprosto moderní myšlení. A také z legrace říkal, že chce, aby si mě někdo vzal z lásky a ne pro peníze. Tenkrát se holčičkám šetřilo na věno. A udělal dobře, protože si ty peníze užil. Pak se stejně o všechno přišlo. Velmi moderně si zařizoval i tu svou zubní praxi. Měl jeden z prvních rentgenů od Siemense.

Pamatuji se také na sourozence mé druhé matky. Měla dva bratry a jednu sestru. Dokonce vím, že ten jeden bratr byl univerzitní profesor, Polák, a že jeden čas přednášel v Bratislavě. Křestní jméno nevím. Ten druhý, samozřejmě taky Polák, byl ředitelem nějakého cukrovaru někde u Prahy. Sestra žila v Poděbradech, ta se jmenovala Karla, byla vdaná, nebo možná rozvedená, a byla nějakou úřednicí. V těch Klukách se pak sourozenci scházeli, protože ta rodina byla poměrně rozšířená. Byli tam snad také nějací bratranci, já už přesně nevím. V Klukách byla krásná zahrada, u takového většího venkovského domku. Tam mám velmi intenzivní vzpomínky na zahradu plnou květin, samozřejmě s houpačkou a tak dále. Do různých statků v okolí jsme chodívali pro čerstvá vajíčka… Pamatuji se na takové veliké krásné rozlehlé statky, aspoň mně se zdály veliké. Potraviny se odtamtud zřejmě vozily i do Prahy a na hranicích Prahy byl pak takzvaný akcís. Neboli četníci. A když jste dováželi potraviny, tak jste museli platit daň. To se samozřejmě nikdy neplatilo. Vím, jak lidi vyprávěli, že třeba vezli pár vajíček a říkali: „Nic nemám“ a všichni ti, co to vozili, měli pak hroznou radost z toho že jako provezli pár vajíček. Ale byl to spíš sport, taková legrace. Také si pamatuji - dědeček s babičkou měli služebnou, asi nebyli moc chudí - a ta se mnou vždycky šla do nejbližšího lesa, kde byly hrobečky psů. Zřejmě po nějaké místní šlechtě, to nevím. Bylo to směrem z Kluk, ale nikoli na Prahu, ani na Poděbrady, ale na druhou stranu. Než se dojede do Poděbrad, tak je tam velký hřbitov, potom odbočka na Kluky a kdybyste tou odbočkou jeli pořád rovně, tak tam byly velké lesy. A tam ty hrobečky byly. A ne jeden, víc. Ti psi tam měli i jméno. Pro dítě to prostě byla atrakce. Tenkrát nebylo běžné, aby se, snad kromě nějakých šlechticů a hrabat, pohřbívali psi. A tyhle hroby musely vzniknout ještě za Rakouska.

Kromě výletů do Kluk za rodiči mé druhé matky jsem o prázdninách jezdívala do penzionátu, bylo to v Doksech. Měla jsem se tam naučit německy, ovšem protože tam byly samé české děti, kromě německých vychovatelů, tak jsme mluvili jenom česky. Bylo to u Máchova jezera, takže já mám krásné vzpomínky na Máchovo jezero, kde jsem se v těch devíti letech, kdy jsem tam byla, asi naučila trochu plavat, ale to já už přesně nevím. Jedny prázdniny, to mně možná bylo devět, deset nebo možná jedenáct let, jsme byli zase v jiném penzionátě, v Nadějkově, to je v jižních Čechách, jehož majiteli byli příbuzní mé první maminky, jmenovali se Segerovi. V Nadějkově měli statek a v létě tam byl zřízen nějaký tábor, kam jsme byli s bratrem pozváni. Ta paní Segerová byla pravděpodobně sestřenice mé matky. Měli dva syny, jeden byl asi o dva roky starší a druhý asi o čtyři, jeden se jmenoval Milan a druhému se říkalo Hansi, neboli to byl Jan. Toho Milana jsem po válce potkala při jednom setkání dětí z Terezína. Oba jsme se divili, že jsme přežili. On v té době už žil v Izraeli, kde si vzal Evu Diamantovou, kterou si pamatuji z Terezína. Není to tak dlouho, co mě oslovil jejich syn. Měl hroznou radost a říkal: „Konečně se o těch Steinerových zase něco dozvím.“ Ale řeknu Vám, že jsem necítila, že je to nějaký můj příbuzný, chci říct, že není pravda, že se v člověku hned ozvou nějaké příbuzenské city. On už se narodil v Izraeli, a i když mluví česky, záleží strašně moc na tom, kde člověk vyrostl. I když já se vždycky velmi obávám, abych nepropadala nějaké falešné sentimentalitě, takže se takovým pohnutkám bráním.

Za války

Na začátek války vzpomínky mám a celkem ještě dost ostré, protože jsem nebyla vychovávaná v duchu nějakého židovského uvědomění, a tak to tenkrát pro mne znamenalo jakési novum. Kromě toho jsem byla v pubertě. Najednou spadla jakási rána z nebe ve smyslu toho, že válka byla vlastně začátkem nejdříve ne úplně uvědomělého, ale potom samozřejmě víc a víc intenzivněji uvědomělého pocitu, že nepatřím mezi společnost, ve které žiji. Vyhodili nás ze školy 11, nesměli jsme pokračovat. Začal jeden zákaz za druhým, nevím přesně od kterého data. Můj otec, který byl, dá se říct, nervově labilní, se čím dál víc hroutil. Já jsem se najednou dostala do situace, že jsem se začala bát lidí.

Takový první náraz přišel už před válkou, kdy na mě v Sokole nějaká holčička křičela „židovko“. Já vůbec nevěděla, o co jde. My jsme byli naprosto asimilovaná rodina, ale ono to nevyplynulo nijak programově, to vyplynulo ze způsobu života. Podle mě je velice důležité, že pokud se lidé chovali přirozeně, tak z jejich způsobu života všechno vyplynulo. Ne tak, že by si řekli: „Já budu to, nebo to.“ Dneska je trošičku sklon k tomu, že lidé předstírají a málo myslí. Ale tehdy ta generace, a dnes je to viděno jako postoj v něčem trochu naivní, byla přesvědčena, že jejich způsob života je správný a že se tak musí chovat.

Se začátkem války jsem byla upozorněna, že nás lidi sledují. Pravděpodobně to byli také lidi naproti v domě - tenkrát ve všech domech na Letné bývali domovníci. To bývali spíše sociálně slabší vrstvy, i když ne všichni. Jak tomu je od věky věků, začala samozřejmě i závist. Stíhal nás jeden zákaz za druhým a já jsem najednou slyšela o tom, že musíme mít ve svých průkazech velké J, Jude, že se musíme pohybovat jenom v určitých ulicích a v tramvajích jezdit jenom v zadním voze. Já dodneška chodím do prvního vozu, to je podvědomí a to už je to hodně dlouho. Jako židovské rodiny jsme měli označené i tehdejší potravinové lístky velkým J. Měli jsme menší příděly a mohli jsme nakupovat jenom v určitých hodinách. Otci, který byl na té Letné přece jenom známý a oblíbený, nosili někteří obchodníci potraviny. Sama jsem byla svědkem, jak byli překvapení. „Pane Synek,“ prý, „na Vás se také vztahují židovské zákony?“ Pro ně to bylo nepochopitelné. Ono se to také tady za první republiky tak nereflektovalo, aby se o někom říkalo, že je nebo není žid. Na menším městě nebo na Moravě a Slovensku to ale možná bylo něco úplně jiného. Já říkám jen svou zkušenost. Pamatuji se, že vyšel zákaz nebo příkaz – to byl jeden z prvních Norimberských zákonů - že slovo žid se musí psát s velkým Ž. To bylo pro mě něco, co jsem už vůbec nepochopila, jen jsem pochopila, že to má být hanlivé. To se nikdy předtím nepsalo. Já jsem s tím dodnes nesmířená, tady se žid s velkým Ž užívá pořád, ačkoliv jsem žádala ve svých článcích, aby to tak nebylo. Já si totiž myslím, že je to hrozně, hrozně špatné, protože od toho se pak odvozují další věci. Všichni užívají jen velké ž, ale to je národnost, ne náboženství, a proč se to vlastně vždy bere jako národnost? [V českém jazyce se žid v náboženském pojetí píše s malým „ž“ a Žid v národnostním pojetí s velkým „Ž“ – pozn. red.]. Nemůže se to užívat stále. V roce třicet čtyři bylo nějaké sčítání, no tak se pár lidí přihlásilo k židovské národnosti, tak to pak to velké ž. I stát je Izrael, ne Žid. A další věc, náboženství na vysvědčení se nepsalo židovské, ale izraelské. Nebo mojžíšské. Mě to totiž strašně uráží a myslím si, že to podporuje antisemitismus. Vyvolává to představu, že se nějak izolujeme. Kvůli tomu jsem měla na obci v Praze velké rozmíšky, i s rabínem Sidonem [Sidon, Karol Efraim (nar. 1942): od roku 1992 pražský a zemský rabín – pozn. red.], se kterým si jinak tykám, my jsme spolu byli kdysi zaměstnaní. On to ví, zná mé názory. I z obce totiž vychází všechno s velkým ž a to je dost zásadní. Někdo by sice říkal, no neblázni, malý ž, velký ž, ale to není pravda. Z malých věcí se skládají velké.

Ještě ke všemu byla ohrožena otcova zubní praxe, ale potom dostal povolení jenom pro židovskou klientelu a tím jsem měla možnost mu dělat asistentku. V té době se muselo všechno odevzdávat, hudební nástroje, domácí zvířata a otec měl jako zubař zlato. No, myslím, že pak už nesměl se zlatem pracovat, existovaly různé náhražky. Potom mohl už jen plombovat, protože laboranty musel propustit a zůstal mu jen pan Porges, který byl židovského původu, šel jedním z prvních transportů. Takže pak tam už otec nikoho neměl, byl na všechno sám a to mohl dělat tak maximálně plomby, ale nějakou složitou protetickou práci určitě ne.

Já jsem mu pomáhala, takže jsem nikam na žádné vyučování nechodila jako chodily jiné židovské děti, což jsem se dozvěděla až po válce. Možná, že když se pak mezi sebou scházely a hrály si, tak je to posílilo. A že také měly i nějakou tu legraci, i v těch nejhorších dobách přeci bývá legrace. Ale já jsem ji neměla, já jsem byla v úplné izolaci. Spolužačky se poté, co jsem přestala chodit do školy, samozřejmě vůbec neobjevovaly, lidé se báli s námi stýkat. A to jsem hrozně těžce nesla. Můj vzdor se projevoval tak, že jsem chodila bez hvězdy 12. Můj otec šílel a trnul, já jsem se mu už bohužel nemohla nikdy omluvit. Teprve později jsem všechno pochopila, jak si s námi dětmi užil.

Ze všech těch zákazů mně nejvíc vadilo to, že jsme nesměli do školy a že se přerušil ten normální dosavadní běh. Nejde ani tak o učení, ale o to, že jste byla najednou vyřazená ze společnosti. Nesmíte do biografu, nic. Mně ani tak nevadilo to nakupování, ale to, že nemám ty možnosti druhých dívek. Neměla jsem ani náhradu v jiné společnosti. Pamatuji si, jak mi jednou otec zprostředkoval - a já si myslím, že to bylo někde v Dlouhé třídě, že se dokonce jmenovali Aschermannovi, ale to si nejsem jistá – návštěvu na nějakém odpoledni, kde se sešli lidé z židovských rodin. Já jsem tam šla, ale bylo mi to úplně cizí. Snad jsem se tam měla s někým seznámit, ale já jsem byla úplně… no, nešlo mi to. Zřejmě mě viděl nějaký tatínkův pacient a řekl: „Proč nepošlete dceru, my máme sešlost.“ Já nevím, třeba tam měl někdo narozeniny. Nevím, jen si pamatuji, že jsem z toho byla taková rozmrzelá a že už mě nikdy nikam nedostal.

Tehdy za války také začal můj veliký komplex, protože já jsem si říkala, že já mezi židy nepatřím, prostě nepatřím. V tom hrála roli i ta moje puberta. Já jsem chtěla být jako jiní lidé a došlo to dokonce tak daleko, že jsem otci vyčetla, proč moje první maminka byla také židovka, že bych aspoň byla jenom napůl. Toho jsem pak později strašně litovala. No, tatínek se snažil, vysvětloval, on se na mne nikdy nezlobil, byl takový klidný. Snažil se mi vysvětlit, že to není nic špatného a že to bude všechno, až skončí válka, jiné. Pamatuji si, že mi říkal: „Tu hvězdu,  kterou máš teď nosit, tu pak budeš nosit jako čest, to bude jako když se vrátili legionáři z první světové války.“ Hluboce se mýlil. Hluboce. Ale díky tomuto velkému komplexu, který jsem skutečně intenzivně prožívala, jsem si vlastně zachránila život.

Za války s námi naštěstí žila moje třetí matka, Anna Mandová, která si vzala mého otce těsně před zákazem smíšených manželství, takže strašně moc riskovala. Navíc jí to příbuzní rozmlouvali, pochopitelně ze strachu o její budoucí existenci. Samozřejmě byla nežidovského původu, katolička, naprosto tolerantní. Celkově byla skvělá, laskavá. Podle mě hotový anděl. Mého otce léta milovala, on jí ošetřoval zuby jako pacientce. Otec byl velmi - já mu tedy nejsem podobná - pohledný muž, který vůbec nevypadal židovsky. Narodila se 9.3.1897 v Kolči u Slaného. Pracovala jako švadlena. Šila jen tak, jak se šilo po domácnostech, i pro firmu Rosenbaum. To byla taková velká firma, kde se vyučila a pak tam byla první střihačkou. Takže to byla paní, která něco uměla.

V té době, když už to bylo čím dál tím horší, to už se o otci psalo v „Árijském boji“ - to byl takový štvavý plátek - a nosili se hvězdy, tak měl nějaké pacienty, kteří se jmenovali manželé Kristlíkovi. Ti byli ortodoxně věřící křesťané, snad katolíci. Mého otce i s tou třetí matkou zvali někde v Holešovicích na takovou zahrádku, aby byl venku, a on tam chodil, měl přikrytou hvězdu a oni to věděli a nebáli se. Z Letné do Holešovic, to byla vlastně jedna čtvrť a otec byl velice známý, takže to bylo riziko. Ti manželé na něj měli takový vliv, že se začal upínat k Bibli. Četl jak Starý, tak Nový Zákon, Bibli měl na nočním stolku. Ta poslední léta mu to zřejmě velice pomáhalo. Co přesně z toho četl, nevím, ale potřeboval nějakou víru a to už je jedno jakou. To je otázka duševní krize a on byl labilnější nátury. Byl velmi citlivý, velmi společenský a na druhé straně zase míval deprese. Ono to všechno bylo způsobem života v té době. Myslím, že aby to vydržel, tak potřeboval v něco věřit. Nemyslím, že v jeho příklonu k Bibli hrály nějakou roli jeho křesťanské manželky. Obě nebyly pobožné, nepamatuji se, že by chodily do kostela. Tatínek měl dokonce i křestní list, mně a zřejmě i jemu ho vystavil farář na Strossmayerově náměstí. Tenkrát jsme mysleli, že to pomůže, ale ono to bylo samozřejmě nanic.

Židům ale pomáhala jenom hrstička lidí. Já nikoho neobžalovávám, já to konstatuji. A když to potom sečtu, tak to se všechno podepsalo na tom, že ti lidé pak ty útrapy, co následovaly, o to hůře vydrželi. Protože už tam šli poničení, psychicky, což zase působí na fyzickou podstatu člověka. Vidím toho svého tatínka, on to byl subtilní, štíhlý muž, velmi hezký. My děti už jsme se tak nepovedli. Do té doby byl krajně společenský, byl to úspěšný zubař a někdy o tom i přednášel a pořád se o tom učil. Aby byl stále lepší a lepší, takže se tomu věnoval i vědecky. Teď najednou, když se to všechno mělo sečíst a vydávat ovoce, tak se to všechno zhroutilo. Samozřejmě že ho poznamenala úmrtí těch dvou manželek. I mé dětství ta úmrtí ovlivnila. Najednou se začalo řešit naše židovství. Tím se předtím vůbec nikdo nezabýval. Nikdo ani nevěděl, že můj otec žid je, on v té fyziognomii nic židovského neměl a i to jméno je české. Dokonce, když se podruhé oženil, vzal si také zubařku, nežidovku, která ale trošičku židovsky vypadala, tak k němu chodili pacienti a říkali: „Ale pane Synek, vy jste si vzal židovku?“ Až těsně před obsazením, když začali vycházet takové listy jako Árijský boj [časopis českého fašistického hnutí Vlajka – pozn. red.],  tak tam už jsme byli. Tatínek byl najednou „Ten Žid Synek“.

Tenkrát jsme žili ve velikém napětí. V našem bytě bylo neustále napětí, protože ne jednou, víckrát, u nás někdo zazvonil – pamatuji se například na jednoho českého policistu, byl zřejmě vysoce postavený, a ten prošel náš byt a ukázal obrazy, které mu otec musel dát. Kromě toho jsme měli pořád strach z Němců a z udavačů, poněvadž v novinách hnutí Vlajka 13, to byl za války takový fašistický  český plátek, byly o mém otci různé udavačské články. Jako jak to, že pan Synek spravuje zuby, a tak dále. Takže jsme prožívali strach a napětí, a dá říct, že můj otec byl takový nervní a že na mě se to samozřejmě přeneslo.

Jakousi útěchu jsem hledala v knížkách a už tenkrát jsem také psala takové veršíky, to mi bylo třináct, čtrnáct. Četla jsem jenom poezii. Prózu jsem četla jen málo. Byla jsem hodně ovlivněná literaturou, takovou možná až trošku výlučnou, zvlášť na můj věk, kterou mi dával můj o pět let starší bratr. Ten v té době ležel jenom v knížkách, byl oproti mně velmi cílevědomý a načerpával vědomosti. Pro něj to bylo také vlastně jeho budoucí povolání. Slovem se zabýval, a já také, ale zase jinak. Byl mi vzorem, ale také jsme se  samozřejmě hádali. V tom dětském pokoji mě v noci strašil, pomocí světla a tak. To jsem ho občas nenáviděla. Ale ovlivnil moji četbu a tím příklonem k poezii jsem potom byla taková málo realistická. Moje myšlení bylo ovlivněné jistou snovou záležitostí, nepřijetím skutečnosti. Ten rozpor jsem měla velmi, velmi silný.

Velice jsem byla ovlivněna četbou, například  už jako velmi mladá jsem četla Pitigrilliho [Segre, Dino (1893 – 1975): pseudonym Pitigrilli, italský spisovatel – pozn. red.]. Vím, že na mě strašně zapůsobila scéna, kdy jakási žena přijímala svého milence v rakvi. Dodneška nevím, jak se to jmenovalo. Tak ráda bych si to znovu přečetla. A pak existovala slavná kniha italského autora Amicisho [Amicis, Edmondo De (1846 — 1908), italský spisovatel a žurnalista) – pozn. red.], Srdce se jmenovala, a tam byly povídky, nad kterými jsem probrečela večery a noci, protože byly hrozně smutné a krásné. To bych si také chtěla třeba znova přečíst. Byla tam například povídka Sardinský bubeník, jak za nějaké války sestřelili dvanáctiletého kluka, to byl chlapeček, který přešel nějaké strašně vysoké hory v Itálii, nevím přesně které, aby našel svou maminku, kterou s rakovinou odvezli na druhý konec Itálie. Z toho jsem byla úplně vyřízená. Pak mě například ovlivnilo, že jsem četla klasickou českou literaturu, Němcovou 14 počínaje. Mně se to líbilo všechno, Jirásek [Jirásek Alois (1851 – 1930): český prozaik a dramaik – pozn. red.] například. Dodneška myslím, že tím, že z toho udělali školní četbu, tak ho zdiskreditovali. Ti klasičtí autoři uměli své řemeslo, tam je úžasné zacházení se slovem. Pamatuji si, že jedinou knížku, kterou jsem si vzala do Terezína, byl Mácha 15, jeho Máj. Nic jiného. To se mi velice líbilo. Tenkrát to vůbec bylo trošku jiné. V mém mládí, ovšem už po válce, byla móda číst Dostojevského [Dostojevsky, Fjodor Michajlovič (1821 – 1881): ruský spisovatel a filosof – pozn. red.] a nosit tu knížku, aby to ostatní viděli. Teď je to muzika. To je úplně o něčem jiném. To tenkrát vůbec nebylo, když jste tenkrát chtěla působit intelektuálně, tak jste musela být znalá v literatuře. Těsně po skončení války jsem již četla Zámek od Franze Kafky 16, vyd. v Mánesu 1936-1937 a byla jsem tím velice ovlivněna, i když jsem tomu moc nerozuměla.

Otec byl také náruživý čtenář, ale určitě ne poezie. On četl časopis Přítomnost 17, ten redigoval Peroutka 18, to bylo opravdu pro intelektuální čtenáře. Měsíčník s krásnou žlutou obálkou. Ten titulní list si graficky dodneška pamatuji. Když jsme za války nikam večer nesměli, tak nám otec předčítával. No, nebyla televize. Pamatuji se, že četl román, Katrin vojákem a Katrin svět hoří,  který pojednával o první světové válce. Bylo to dramatické. Četl nám kousek po večeři, my jsme potichu seděli. To dělával hlavně po smrti druhé matky, protože byl v hrozné depresi, osamělý. U nás se hodně odbírali knížky ELKu [Evropský literární klub (ELK): vznikl v roce 1935 z iniciativy nakladatelského podnikatele Bohumila Jandy (1900 - 1982) a jeho bratra Ladislava Jandy (1898 - 1984) – pozn. red.] , moderního evropského literárního klubu. Kromě Přítomnosti odbíral i další noviny, Rozvoj, což byly noviny, které patřily Svazu Čechů-židů. Ty noviny tam chodily, ale já jsem je nečetla a  Přítomnost také ne. Vůbec mě to nezajímalo, protože to byly  politické a dejme tomu částečně filozofické i kulturní články.

V létě 1942 dostal můj bratr předvolání k transportu. Samozřejmě sám, protože otec byl chráněný sňatkem s nežidovkou. Ale nenastoupil a nechal dopis, že spáchal sebevraždu. Pak následovaly velmi nepříjemné situace, protože my jsme s ním byli v kontaktu a tu spojku jsem dělala já. Buď já nebo moje nevlastní matka jsme mu nosily, co potřeboval. Bylo to tak strašně riskantní. Všechno bylo plné strachu a rizik. Myslím, že ta atmosféra strachu mě zformovala na celý další život. Od té doby jsem už vždycky měla blízko k úzkostným stavům. Nechci říct k depresím, to je silné slovo. Byly to spíš úzkostné stavy. Strach z neznáma. Později jsem si uvědomila, že mě to nějak předurčilo k takovému, v podstatě trvalému, mírnému nedorozumění se světem jako takovým. K otázkám, proč jsem, proč dělám tohle a proč dělají lidi tamto. Jde o takový pocit, že já stejně nemohu sdělit to, co cítím. V podstatě nikomu. A že se s tím trvalým nedorozuměním musím smířit. Mám takovou příhodu, ryze abstraktní, jenom, abych to blíž vysvětlila. V tom bytě na Letné, kde jsem bydlela, se z takového velkého pokoje, kde se večeřelo, muselo do pokoje, kde já spala, přejít dosti rozlehlou předsíní. Vypínač, aby se v té předsíni rozsvítilo, byl úplně na druhé straně. Takže jsem musela projít tmou. Dodneška mám ještě intenzivní vzpomínku na to, jak jsem seděla a nebyla jsem schopná jít spát. Nikdo to nevěděl, otci jsem to samozřejmě neřekla. Pamatuji si, že jsem veškerou svou energii, nebo sílu - je to spíš symbol, co teď říkám – vložila do toho, abych prošla tou tmavou předsíní. Když jsem přišla do dětského pokoje a rozsvítila tam, byla jsem úplně vyčerpaná. Myslím si, že tohle krajní vyčerpání z té cesty, která je dneska ve vzpomínce tak krátká, ale tenkrát se mi zdála nepředstavitelně dlouhá, je symbol celého mého života.

Tohle období plné strachu trvalo až do prosince čtyřicet dva, kdy jsem dostala předvolání do transportu já sama. To jsem viděla otce naposled, úplně se zhroutil, protože nemohl vůbec nic dělat. Už předtím žil v hrozném napětí, v hrozném strachu, a pak najednou… Já jsem pro něj byla malá holčička, i když jsem už nebyla tak úplně malá. Jistě si také všechno vyčítal. On byl totiž tak krajně spravedlivý, tak absolutně humanisticky založený a idealizoval si svět – i když tenkrát to snad ještě šlo, já už si ho dneska neidealizuji a myslím, že nejsem sama - že pořád věřil, že není možné, aby bylo Československo pryč a aby se ten československý stát o své občany nepostaral. Stala se taková příhoda, že po anšlusu 19, po zabrání Rakouska, přijel do Prahy nějaký jeho vzdálený bratranec, který pak jel přes Prahu dál. Byl u nás a vyprávěl, co se tam dělo za hrůzy. No a můj otec, když ten bratranec odešel, řekl: „To není možný. On je asi blázen, potřeboval by do ústavu pro choromyslné.“ On tomu nevěřil, nechtěl tomu věřit. Nebyl asi sám, to muselo být pro ty lidi tenkrát úplně hrozné, ta bezmocnost. Tenkrát byl navíc ještě muž hlava rodiny, která se o ty své příslušníky stará. Tohle se trošičku přece jenom změnilo.

Já totiž měla možnost před válkou emigrovat, ale otec mě nepustil. Když jsem byla hodně malá, když stonala ta moje první maminka, měla jsem u sebe vychovatelku slečnu Šaškovou. Tahle slečna Šašková, to bylo asi v roce třicet devět, jela do Anglie do nějaké rodiny jako vychovatelka také k nějakému zubaři. Měla mě zřejmě nějak ráda a tak přišla za otcem, že mě vezme sebou a že se tam vyučím. Otec řekl, že to nepřichází v úvahu. Pamatuji se, že i později se o emigraci kolem nás mluvilo, ale my jsme neměli žádné kontakty, říkalo se, že určité židovské rodiny měly hodně peněz a informace, takže ti ještě nějakou tu možnost emigrace měly. Ono nebylo lehké dostat z nějaké země povolení, takzvaný affidavit, abyste se tam mohli vystěhovat. To byla mnohdy otázka peněz. Nic přesného o tom nevím, jen že affidavit málokdo dostal. Měli ho třeba přislíbený, ale pak k tomu nedošlo. Vím, že rodina Petchků byla hrozně bohatá. Ta dokonce vyvezla všechny své zaměstnance, celý vlak. Ale já jsem přesvědčena, že i kdyby to mému otci někdo nabídl, tak by ho odmítl.  My jsme třeba ani nevěděli o té Wintonově akci 20, jak vyvezl židovské děti. O tom jsme se vůbec nedozvěděli. I když my jsme také nebyli v nějakém větším styku s pražskou židovskou obcí. Ale možná že to nebylo jenom tím. Zapsaní jsme tam byli. Židé například dostávali předvolání, ještě dokud byli v Praze, na odklízení sněhu. No tak to jsme dostávali každou chvíli. Otec a bratr. To bylo takové ponížení, s hvězdou jste odklízeli sníh a ještě na vás lidi pokřikovali. Vždycky bylo hrozně obtížné se z toho vyreklamovat. To byla takzvaná pracovní povinnost. Takže v evidenci jsme byli.

Transport jsem čekala, věděla jsem, že přijde a bála jsem se. Když jsem pak dostala to předvolání, věděla jsem, že já musím jít, že už nemůžu udělat to, co můj bratr. Ještě týden, než nás odvezli, jsme byli v takzvané karanténě vedle Veletržního paláce. Věděla jsem, že otec je jen pár domů daleko, ale s tou hvězdou za mnou ani nemohl. Ale někoho poslal, protože přes nějakého strážného jsem dostala krabičku bonbónů s dopisem. V tom Veletržním paláci jsme byli za takových docela špatných podmínek. Já jsem tam z toho všeho dostala teplotu. Tenkrát se mě tam ujal skvělý člověk, Gustav Schorsch, který se bohužel nevrátil. Úplnou náhodou měl číslo vedle mě. Ten transport se jmenoval Ck a já měla číslo 333, asi ty trojky byly „šťastné“. Když se tam do té karantény vešlo, tak tam byly podle těch čísel položené matrace. Schorsch mě tam viděl, že jsem sama a že brečím. Ten týden, než nás odvezli, mně velmi pomohl, a pak i celou dobu v Terezíně, dokud ho neposlali dál. Když věděl, že stůňu, nebo že něco není v pořádku, vždycky se přišel podívat. Dělal tam divadlo, přednášky a vůbec byl kulturně činný. Byl o hodně starší než já, o devět let. Už měl po maturitě a jako student už hrával divadlo. Byl zakladatelem divadélka 99 na Národní třídě. Byl to mimořádný divadelní talent. Po válce o něm vyšla knížka Nevyúčtován zůstává život.  Mimo jiné, já jsem potom o něm po převratu, teď v devadesátých letech, napsala scénář. Ten film existuje a běžel v televizi. Bohužel jsem mohla použít jenom výpovědi dalších lidí, existují jeho fotografie, ale toho autentického materiálu bylo málo, kromě nějakých her, které dramatizoval. Ty se hrály už i v Národním divadle. Byl to mimořádný člověk, vzpomínalo na něj hodně lidí, jeho tehdejší spolužáci a tak dále.

Co se s otcem dělo po mém odjezdu přesně nevím. Myslím, že mu tam pomáhali, že tam někdo z těch letenských obyvatel, jednak z bývalých pacientů, nebo z těch živnostníků, chodil. Všichni ti obchodníci se tam znali. Myslím si, že se tam otec musel s někým stýkat, protože se mu povedlo během toho roku, co já už byla v Terezíně, propašovat, zřejmě přes české četníky, kteří nás v Terezíně hlídali, dopis. Ten mám dodneška schovaný. Je krásný, plný náznaků. Psal ‘Jiřina je v pořádku‘, to byl můj bratr, Jirka. Kontakt s bratrem pak zřejmě udržovala nevlastní matka. Ale jak ona, tak můj otec, pak byli asi rok po mně zatčeni. Tu zubařskou praxi měl až do zatčení. Potom tam byl zřejmě nějaký Němec, protože v ordinaci po válce zůstalo celé zařízení. Když jsme se vrátili, tak to má nevlastní matka pronajala takzvaným vdovským právem.

V Terezíně jsem už nebyla jen sama se sebou, tam se vytvořilo jakési společenství. Ti lidé tam byli ve stejné situaci. Když jsem tam přišla, byli jsme v takzvané šlojsce [Hamburská kasárna, tzv. šlojska: ubikace žen a od r. 1943 zejména holandských vězňů. Současně hlavní místo odbavování transportů – pozn. red.], to je taková karanténa. Tam jsme se museli hlásit a já jsem, právě z toho hrozného komplexu, že jsem něco jiného, nahlásila, že jsem míšenka. Vůbec jsem nevěděla, že to byl první transport, kde šly míšenci, jinak by to prasklo a já bych tady teď neseděla. To byla úplně iracionální záležitost. Ono to vypadá, že jsem si to vymyslela, ale skutečně tomu tak bylo.

Po nějakém čase jsem v Terezíně přišla do dětského domova. Tam byly děti tak od jedenácti, dvanácti let nahoru, myslím tak do patnácti, šestnácti let. Přesně nevím. Já jsem tam patřila mezi nejstarší. Mladší děti byly s rodiči. Například můj muž, který je mladší než já, tak ten byl s maminkou. Do dětského domova se dostaly i děti, které přijely do Terezína s rodiči, já byla spíš výjimka, že jsem přijela sama. Byl tam ale už můj strýc, tatínkův bratr. Ten tam ležel na takovém nemocničním pokoji, kde byli lidi s tuberkulózou. Občas jsem za ním šla. V Terezíně byl v té době také tatínkův otec. Ten zemřel velice brzy a posléze i strýc. To bylo ve čtyřicátém třetím roce. Jiné příbuzné jsem tam už neměla.

V Terezíně jsem se spřátelila s Věrou, tehdy Bendovou, která byla také míšenka, ale opravdová. Ležely jsme vedle sebe na kavalci - ty byly tříposchoďové - my jsme byly až nahoře. Ta jediná o mně věděla pravdu, já jsem musela někomu říct, jak to se mnou je. Vždycky, když jsem byla předvolaná – míšenci bývali předvoláváni na komandaturu - tak jsme obě nespaly. Dodnes jsme samozřejmě ve styku. Žije v Oltenu ve Švýcarsku, kde jsem za ní po převratu byla na návštěvě. Jako míšenka jsem v Terezíně mohla zůstat, to mě chránilo před dalším transportem. A tu mou nejlepší přítelkyni také. Z našeho pokoje, my jsme bydleli na devětadvacítce v L410, většinou všichni odešli transportem dál. A někdo se po válce vrátil, někdo ne. Také, když se tam uváděl ten Brundibár 21, tak se za ty děti, které odvezli, museli dosadit zase nové. Já sama jsem v Brundibárovi neúčinkovala, já jsem nikdy neuměla zpívat. S Schorschem jsme pak zkoušely hrát divadlo, Klicperu. Ale já jsem hlavně psala. Takové blbosti, různé básničky. V nich se nejčastěji ozývalo takové to vzpomínání, například na přítelkyni, která zůstala v Praze, nebo povzdech nad tím, co jsem ztratila. Byly to samé takové sentimentální věci, se sklonem k romantickému vyjádření. Nedávno jsme měly nějaké setkání s děvčaty z Terezína a ony říkaly: „Prosím tě, my jsme myslely pořád na jídlo a ty sis psala básničky. My jsme si říkaly, že nejsi normální.“

Lásku jsem v Terezíně samozřejmě prožívala také. A ne jednu. Myslím, že jsem tam byla nejmíň pětkrát zamilovaná. Já to tedy nikdy nepočítala a ono mě to také vždycky brzo přešlo. Já to nikdy příliš dlouho nevydržela a to jsem měla ještě dlouho po válce. V Terezíně jsem možná trošku vyčnívala, byla jsem úplně blond, plavá, modrooká. Možná to také něco vypovídá o té době, bylo to třeba jenom na pár dní, ale intenzivní. Ovšem byl tam jeden, dva takové silnější vztahy. Ani jeden se nevrátil. Jeden se jmenoval Jiří Kummermann. Ten hoch, ačkoliv mu bylo sedmnáct, už komponoval. Nějaké noty, nějaké úryvky, mám dodnes schované. Byla tam i jeho maminka, bývalá tanečnice, ani ta se nevrátila. Protože já jsem věděla, že asi v Terezíně zůstanu, tak jsem měla nějaké ty noty u sebe. Ale po válce jsem je dala jeho příbuzným. Ten vztah byl asi dosti intenzivní, protože jsem ještě dlouho v tom pětačtyřicátém myslela, že by se mohl objevit. Pak to byl Karel Stadler, toho jsem znala z Prahy, protože to byl kamarád mého bratra. Mimořádně vzdělaný hoch. Byl asi o čtyři, pět let starší, kdežto ten hudebník byl stejně starý jako já. Takže mně imponoval a já jsem se styděla, že jsem proti němu úplně hloupá. Nebyla jsem jediná, kdo tam prožíval lásky. Samozřejmě přes den jsme se vídat moc nemohli, ale zákaz vycházení byl až po osmé, takže večer jsme ještě mohli být venku.

Terezín byl pro mě byla úžasná škola. Za prvé bych nebyla taková, jaká jsem, ale to je přirozené. Ale hlavně se mi tam zjevily takové hodnoty, které bych třeba vůbec nemohla poznat. Například co může udělat pro člověka přátelství, ale nejen to. Jak důležitý je vliv umění. Tam se lidé, kteří do Terezína přišli, a byli to profesoři, umělci, skutečně všichni snažili předávat to, co uměli. To by se nemohlo v normální situaci vůbec stát. V Terezíně bylo všechno vypjaté, tam nebyla normální situace. To je samozřejmě viděno zpětně, tenkrát jsem si to nemohla uvědomit. Prožívali jsme tam mezní situace. Jednak tam byl fenomén strachu z dalšího transportu. Nikdo nevěděl, kdy kam bude muset odjet. I když to, že může přijít konec, to si nikdo z naší generace nechtěl samozřejmě vůbec připustit. Já jsem takřka do konce války nevěděla, že existují plynové komory. To bylo tím, že jsem byla v Terezíně. Tam to možná někdo věděl, ale myslím, že většina ne. Až pak v tom pětačtyřicátém, když se lidé vraceli. V Terezíně jsme pochopitelně měli i legraci. A ty lásky. Všechno bylo intenzivně prožité, tam se totiž nemohlo počítat s časem. To je, myslím, ať pro puberťačku, tak pro dvacetiletého nebo i padesátiletého člověka velmi neobvyklá situace. Tam vůbec nebyl ten pocit, že vám čas jenom takhle zbytečně protéká mezi prsty. Intenzita té doby byla i v tom, že jsme měli hlad. Všechno bylo intenzivní. Takovou intenzitu jsem předtím, ani potom, nepoznala. Všechno, co tam ty děti dělaly, buď si něco kreslily, nebo psaly, tak to bylo v naprostém nasazení. Celé to vedení se pro ně snažilo dělat maximum. Protože jedinou naději na přežití tam podle nich měli ty děti, nebo ti mladí. Ono to pak tak sice nebylo, ale i tak se snažili. Nevím, jestli nějaký stát nebo nějaká skupina, nějaký malý národ, dělá v normální situaci tolik, kolik se tenkrát dělalo v těch vypjatých chvílích v Terezíně. Tenkrát šlo úplně o všechno. Také bylo zapotřebí pomoci těm dospělým i mladým, aby vnímali, že si musí na sebe dávat pozor, aby nešli mravně dolů. To všechno bylo strašně důležité. Musela jste si zachovat pocit, že nejste v nějaké díře.

Tu otázku, proč jsem se vrátila já a ne někdo jiný, takový pocit výčitky, to máme asi všichni. To už bylo mnohokrát reflektováno. Já na to samozřejmě nemám odpověď a ono si to ani nelze vyčítat. Ale myslím, že to procento těch nejlepších, kteří se nevrátili, je hodně veliké. Také nevíte, co by bývalo bylo z těch dětí. Určitě tam bylo mnoho nadaných lidí a tím prožitkem, tou intenzitou, o které jsem mluvila, to všechno ještě zesílilo.

Po válce

Co mají lidé, kteří přežili, společného? Na to nemám vyhraněnou odpověď. Myslím, že většina těch lidí, co se vrátila, je dnes mnohem tolerantnější než lidé bez tohoto prožitku. Ale ještě samozřejmě záleželo na tom, do jakého způsobu života jste se dostala. I ten vás formoval. Jestli zůstal úplně sám, nebo mu zbyl alespoň kus rodiny. Jeho myšlení a intelektuální zařazení. Život sám. Lidi jsou různí. Také se jich plno vystěhovalo a ti, když sem přijedou, jsou také úplně jiní. Ale nějaký společný osud, něco tam je. Ne že bychom si byli úplně blízcí, ale je tu něco, že se hned mohu lehce vcítit. Někomu, kdo tím neprošel, bych to musela strašně vysvětlovat, abych mu to mohla přiblížit. Tady nemusím. Zcela jistě máme společný zážitek, to nás spojuje. Těžko říct, možná nás spojuje nějaké přehodnocení hodnot. Větší tolerance, to určitě. Samozřejmě že jsou nějací jednotlivci, nějaké výkřiky, ale ještě dneska, když se s lidmi setkávám, tak je mi od první chvíle jasné, kdo přežil. Také si myslím, i když si možná dělám iluze, že ti, kteří přežili, nepodlehnou tomu, že by byli zaměření jen na ekonomické věci. Myslím, že jsou trošičku míň ovlivnitelní dnešním způsobem života. Že jsou trochu víc sami sebou. Přece jenom je tam něco, nějaká zkušenost, která je odlišuje. Kdybych měla shrnout, co mi pobyt v koncentračním táboře vzal, pak mi vzal minulost. To zpřetrhání minulosti, to je něco, s čím se musím smířit.

Na návrat domů jsme se strašně těšili. Ale samozřejmě jsme se neměli kam vrátit. Já najednou nevěděla, co mám dělat. Jak žít, proč vůbec a hlavně nebylo s kým se poradit. Bratr, který také přežil, se o mě moc nestaral, on měl svých starostí dost. Ten tady lítal, to už zakládali noviny a on byl jmenován důležitým redaktorem, šéfem kulturní rubriky. Dostali tehdejší německé noviny, takzvanou Mladou frontu 22, a on byl vlastně zakladatel. Bylo mu třiadvacet a J.Hořcovi [Hořec, Jaromír (nar. 1921): známý český básník, spisovatel, novinář a publicista – pozn. red.], pozdějšímu šéfredaktorovi, bylo, myslím, čtyřiadvacet. Neměl na mě absolutně čas. Pamatuji si, že jsem se šla tenkrát po návratu hlásit na tehdejší národní výbor, už nevím, jak se tomu říkalo, protože jsem potřebovala legitimaci. Tam mi dali dvě spodní prádla, kalhotky a nějakou košilku a asi pět kapesníků.

Můj otec válku nepřežil, zahynul v roce čtyřicet čtyři, v Osvětimi. Mám dvě data. Jedno je únorové, druhé je květnové, přesně se to neví.  Na podzim čtyřicet tři ho zatkli, šel přes Karlovo náměstí, kde byl na výsleších, přes Malou pevnost 23 do Osvětimi, nešel normálním transportem. Zatčen byl nejspíš  kvůli mému bratrovi. Zatčená byla i moje nevlastní matka, která se ovšem po válce vrátila. Ale ta také nevěděla, proč je vlastně sebrali. Je pravděpodobné, že tam bylo i nějaké udání. Prošla koncentračními tábory Ravensbrückem 24 a Barthem [Barth: tábor přislouchající pod koncentrační tábor Ravensbrück – pozn. red.]. Vrátila se až později, až koncem června 1945, a byla těžce nemocná. Matku jsem po válce pokud možno podporovala,  vždyť jsem si díky ní zachránila život, protože nevěděli, že ona není moje pravá matka. To kdyby bývalo prasklo, tak by byl konec. Zemřela, když jí bylo pětaosmdesát, to by mělo být někdy v roce 1983, protože byla rozená 1898. Porazila ji tramvaj, ztratila orientaci a do té tramvaje narazila hlavou.

Jen na okraj, zjistila jsem, že v Pinkasově synagoze, kde jsou jména mrtvých z koncentračních táborů, je i jméno mého bratra [v letech 1992-1996 bylo na stěny synagogy ručně přepsáno 80 tisíc jmen českých a moravských Židů, kteří zahynuli za nacismu – pozn. red.]. Jako že je mrtev. Jak jsem říkala, když dostal předvolání do transportu, zanechal dopis, že spáchal sebevraždu, a ztratil se. V kartotéce je veden jako mrtvý. No, teď už s tím nemůžeme nic dělat, je to tam. Podle jednoho lidového rčení tedy bude dlouho živ. Docházelo i k dalším omylům. Například, můj otec byl zatčen, nešel transportem, nicméně v koncentračním táboře se také ocitl a nevrátil se. Ale v Terezínské knize [Terezínská pamětní kniha obsahuje jména židovských obětí nacistických deportací z Čech a Moravy v letech 1941-1945 – pozn. red.] není. Nevím, jestli ho tam dali dodatečně, to už jsem nezjišťovala. Já panu Kárnému, který tu knihu společně se svou ženou dělal, říkala, že tam není, ale že také umřel v Osvětimi. Podobných případů je víc, lidí, kteří nešli normálními transporty, ale byli zatčeni nebo se ztratili jako můj bratr.

Zpočátku jsem bydlela s mým bratrem, který dostal na Letné byt, a potom, když se vrátila má nevlastní matka, tak jsme šly do toho bytu, kde kdysi bývala zubní ordinace. Tam ale snad kromě toho zubního zařízení nic nezůstalo. Tenkrát po návratu z Terezína, jsem měla hlavně hlad. Matka tady měla příbuzné, sestru, strašně hodnou, a k nim na Smíchov jsem chodívala na oběd. Oni mi dávali z vlastního. Vypadá to divně, ale já si myslím, že ona nebyla žádná organizace, která by se starala o ty lidi, kteří se vrátili. Vůbec mě nenapadlo zajít na židovskou obec. Možná jsem tam měla jít, určitě by mně byli poradili. Vždyť tady byly nějaké výpomoci, jak jsem se později dozvěděla, z Ameriky 25. Podávaly se nějaké žádosti o odškodné. No, já jsem o tom nevěděla nic a nic jsem nedostala. Až teď to po převratu to, co mají všichni.

Takové první dva roky, než jsem se rozkoukala, jsem skutečně nevěděla, jak se mám chovat. Já věděla, že se zdraví, a co mám říct, když vejdu do obchodu, ale způsob myšlení druhých lidí jsem vůbec nemohla pochopit. Všichni mi byli cizí. Nechápala jsem, jak myslí, proč třeba udělají to, co udělali. Já jsem vždycky chtěla vědět důvod chování. Například má teta, ta, co se rozvedla s mým strýcem kvůli onomu nakladatelství, nebyla židovka a válku přežila. Po válce vedla prodejnu, která k onomu nakladatelství patřila. Ona mi nabídla, abych tam prodávala knížky. Tak jsem tam nějaký čas prodávala. Pak mi řekla: „Nemáš dostatečně štíhlý pas, koupím ti šněrovačku.“ Já jsem to vůbec nechápala. Proč tam mám prodávat knížky a proč mi to koupí. Je to banální příklad, ale já jsem tomu nerozuměla. Nedokázala jsem se jí zeptat. O to šlo. Měla jsem se jí zeptat, proč mně koupíš to nebo tamto, nebo proč tady mám prodávat knížky? Ona by mně to jistě bývala vysvětlila. Ale já se jí nezeptala. Nebo další příklad. Na Letné byla nějaká děvčata z Terezína a ta mě zatáhla do Svazu mládeže 26. Já jsem tam zase chodila a vůbec jsem nevěděla, proč tam jako jsem. Spoustu věcí jsem tenkrát nechápala, dokud jsem nepotkala dívku mého stáří, jejíž tatínek byl zubař, kolega mého tatínka. Pan doktor Vaněček. Ten mě pozval k nim a dal mi peníze. Ta Věra jediná říkala: „Ty musíš chodit do školy.“ Nebýt jí, tak jsem to všechno nechala plavat. Ale i ona mi musela vysvětlit, proč musím chodit do školy a já tomu beztak úplně nerozuměla. Možná že jsem byla úplně zanedbaná, nebo možná spíše osamělá. Myslím, že to bylo z osamělosti. Přitom později jsem platila v životě za společenskou a ne introvertní. Ale až moc pozdě. Tenkrát jsem ale určitě byla v naprosté introverzi. Myslím, že je to důsledek toho, co jsem říkala, toho zpřetrhání pout s minulostí.

Postupně se naštěstí vyskytlo několik příbuzných, kteří mi také pomáhali. Například bratranec mé vlastní první maminky, který měl seznam lidí, ke kterým si dala schovat věci sestra mé první maminky, Anna. Obcházel se mnou ty lidi a teď oni to většinou nevraceli. Zažila jsem takovou velmi nepříjemnou situaci, kdy říkali: „Jé, vy jste se vrátili.“ Ani se mi o tom nechce mluvit. Ono je to navíc obecně známo. Co se školy týká, vysvětlili mi, že si musím vyběhat stipendium. Po sociální stránce byl ten náš život po válce totiž velice špatný. Vystudovat jsem nakonec mohla jenom díky tomu stipendiu, které jsem dostávala jako válečný sirotek. Vyplácel mě tenkrát Úřad pro válečné poškozence. Myslím, že byl v Karlíně. Bez těch peněz bych byla neměla ani na rohlík.  

Můj bratr stačil před válkou maturovat na Jiráskově gymnáziu a po válce se zapsal na filosofickou fakultu. V roce čtyřicet sedm byl poslán tehdejším Ministerstvem kultury do Paříže, kde vydával týdeník informující o tehdejší střední Evropě, který se jmenoval Parallele cinquante, Padesátá rovnoběžka. Těsně po únoru 27 se měl vrátit, byl tam na rok. Ale emigroval a zůstal venku. Tajně tady ale byl a díky mému tehdejšímu příteli, výtvarníku Jiřímu Hejnovi, se kterým jsem dlouho byla, jsme mu pomocí sádry předělali razítko na pase. On se ještě po únoru dostal ven.

Vysokou školu jsem začala studovat na jaře čtyřicet šest, kdy ji vlastně otevírali. Vybrala jsem si novinářskou fakultu na Vysoké škole politické a sociální. Ta se skládala ze tří fakult, politické, sociální a novinářské. Ta škola byla zaměřená i pro budoucí diplomaty, tedy ta fakulta politická a sociální, ne novinářská. Už jako puberťačka jsem se zabývala psaním básniček a za války taky. Kromě pohybu, tancování, byla mým nejsilnějším zájmem literatura, takže to znamenalo, že to musela být nějaká škola, kde se pracuje se slovem. Představovala jsem si, že bych pak mohla třeba žít v nějakém cizím městě a být dopisovatelkou. Třeba v Paříži. No, byla jsem úplně blbá. Ta novinářská fakulta byla něco nového. Mám dojem, že za první republiky nebyla, ale nejsem si jistá. Žurnalistiku bylo asi možné studovat někde jinde, to přesně nevím. Ale pro mě to bylo novum. No a pak jsem věděla, že tam na mně nebudou chtít latinu. Bála jsem se, že i na té filozofické fakultě by mě latina, případně řečtina, chyběla. Maturitu jsem si vlastně dodělávala až dodatečně v rámci té fakulty. To tenkrát šlo. Tahle škola bylo zaměřená čistě prakticky. Bylo tam hodně ekonomie a práva, ze všech oborů něco. Nevím, jestli to bylo dobré, ale mně to přišlo mnohem schůdnější, protože mně chyběla celá léta vzdělání. Myslela jsem si, že to spíš zvládnu. Na fakultu nebyl problém se dostat, kdo se přihlásil, ten mohl studovat. Tenkrát se samozřejmě hlásili i ti starší, kteří třeba za války nemohli studovat. Ale bylo tam velké síto. Ty čtyři roky a diplomní práce, málokdo dokončil. Ti lidi šli možná do praktického života, nebo je to nebavilo.

Já jsem byla v zimě 1949 hotová. Ty největší průšvihy byly až od padesátého roku. Nepamatuji si přesně, jak se tam profesoři měnili. Ti, kteří byli ortodoxní marxisti, začali samozřejmě dělat různé kariéry. Například Ladislav Štoll [Štoll, Ladislav (1902 – 1981: český marxistický literární kritik – pozn. red.], který pak byl velmi ortodoxní a myslím, že zkazil mnoha lidem život. To byl velký ideolog přes kulturu. Měl slovo ve všech oblastech kultury a jistě byl i spolupracovník různých ministerstev a tak dále. Několik profesorů naopak zase emigrovalo. Například profesor Machotka [Machotka, Otakar (1899 – 1970): český sociolog – pozn. red.] odjel do Ameriky. Původně, to bylo na té fakultě zajímavé, tam byli profesoři paritně podle čtyř politických stran. Aby to bylo vyvážené. Pak to samozřejmě padlo a ti lidé odcházeli, sociální demokraté a tak. Také nás tam učila společenskou výchovu paní, která byla později mnoho let zavřená. My jsme jí říkali Alča Palča, ale jmenovala se Palkosková. Byla z takové velmi bohaté pražské rodiny. Z té společenské výchovy jsme si dělali legraci, ale měla pravdu, bohužel, společenská výchova vzala za své. Lidé se dnes neumějí chovat. Na  psychologii tam byl prof. Tardy, křestní jméno si přesně nevzpomínám. Ten zase emigroval do Švýcar. Zvláštnost je, že nám dali ing, já jsem tedy inženýrka. To proto, že jsme tam měli ekonomii, ale je to nesmysl, dělali to podle sovětského vzoru.

Po studiu jsem v padesátém roce nastoupila do hraného filmu na Barrandově [známé filmové studio v Praze – pozn. red.], kde měli zájem o studenty,  do takzvaného lektorátu. To bylo takové první síto, kam se posílali náměty. Bylo nás tam asi pět. No, divím se, že mě tam zaměstnali. Měla jsem tam ale úžasného šéfa, takového jsem už nikdy nezažila. Moc mě naučil, jak bych tak řekla, o literární tvorbě pro film. Jmenoval se ing. Karel Smrž [Smrž, Karel (1897 – 1953): český filmový historik, publicista a dramatrg – pozn. red.], jeden z filmových průkopníků vůbec, ještě z první republiky, zakladatel českého filmu. Mimo jiné jsem se tam skamarádila s Hanou Žantovskou [Žantovská, Hana (1921 - 2004): prekladatelka, básnířka a spisovatelka – pozn. red.], překladatelkou, skvělou paní, která zemřela před dvěma lety. Byla to výsostná překladatelka z angličtiny a básnířka. V té době jsem se také seznámila s mnoha jinými lidmi, do toho okruhu naštěstí patřil Josef Jedlička [Jedlička, Josef (1927 – 1990): český prozaik a esejista – pozn. red.], spisovatel, Jan Zábrana [Zábrana, Jan (1931 – 1984): český básník a překladatel – pozn. red.] nebo malíř Mikuláš Medek [Medek, Mikuláš (1926 – 1974): český malíř – pozn. red.]. Díky těmhle lidem jsem se dostala z té izolace těsně po návratu. Bylo to opravdu dobré a některá přátelství také dodneška trvají. Třeba spisovatel Putík Jaroslav [Putík, Jaroslav (nar. 1923): český prozaik – pozn. red.], s tím se scházíme, filosof Ivan Dubský [Dubslý Ivan (nar. 1926): česý filosof – pozn. red.] je můj kamarád také z té doby. Někteří už bohužel umřeli. Ale díky těmhle všem lidem jsem teprve začala pořádně žít.

Na lektorátu jsem byla asi rok a půl a už mě vyhodili. To začala padesátá léta a když mě jako nespolehlivou vyhazovali - to byl tehdejší Jiří Hájek [Hájek, Jiří (1919 – 1994): český literární a divadelní kritik – pozn. red.], který pak vedl Plamen [Plamen: literární měsíčník. Jiří hájek byl šéfredaktorem měsíčníka v letech 1959 – 1968  – pozn. red.], ne ten ministr, ale literární kritik, velmi vášnivý – jako důvod mně řekli, že nemají nic proti mně osobně, ale že jsem nespolehlivá, protože jsem židovského původu 28. Já jsem tenkrát skutečně neměla vůbec peníze a ta moje nevlastní matka na tom také byla špatně, tak mě vlastně přátelé Jedličkovi živili. Dávali mi peníze, ačkoliv Manka Jedličková pak ještě dostudovávala medicínu a Josef Jedlička, který byl na filosofické fakultě, vylítl, když tam byly prověrky. On byl první, se kterým udělali monstrproces. Byl nařčený jako trockista.

Těch lidí tohoto druhu, se kterými jsem se v té době stýkala, bylo tolik, že vám je ani všechny nebudu jmenovat. Byli skvělí. Dokonce jsem byla požádána, abych o nich napsala, ale já nic takového psát nechci, protože já si nejsem jistá, jestli je moje paměť natolik dobrá. Pokud nemohu napsat něco přesného, tak to psát nebudu. Mohu napsat nějaké dojmy, to já mám něco v šuplíku, ale nerada bych, abych svou nepřesnou pamětí měnila historii. To strašně špatně snáším. 

Ta padesátá léta byla těžká. Slánského procesy 28 a já jsem pak také měla velké maléry kvůli bratrovi, který zůstal venku. To jsem netušila, jaké nedozírné maléry z toho vzniknou. Byla jsem kvůli tomu u výslechů. Pamatuji se, že když pro mě přišli, tak jsem vůbec nevěděla, o co jde. V té době se mně začaly vracet takové nepříjemné, depresivní stavy. Strach z budoucnosti. Začala jsem se bát. Dostala jsem strach, který byl velmi silný, přestože v mládí by to tak nemělo být. Vždycky jsem měla konflikt ne proto, že bych si ho zavinila svým jednáním.

Já sama jsem emigrovat nechtěla. Ve čtyřicátém osmém jsem sice byla v Paříži, ale zůstat jsem tam nechtěla. Možná za jiných okolností. Bylo to komplikované a také jsem si myslela, že zase vyjedu. Nikdo si neuměl představit – možná někdo starší, kdo byl fundovaný i politicky, ale já jsem tenkrát ještě byla opravdu naivní - že bych tam zase třeba za dva roky nemohla. Až později, v  osmašedesátém, když jsme měli tříletou holčičku, jsem na emigraci pomýšlela, ale můj muž se toho bál. Jedním z jeho důvodů bylo, že tak krásné město, jako je Praha, nikde není. Tak dramatické ve smyslu architektury. Manžel je totiž architekt. Já jsem si zase nemohla představit, že nebudu používat češtinu. Ne jako obživu, ale že to, k čemu jsem měla sklony, k takovému tomu nedorozumění, bude ještě horší. Ne, že se ten jazyk nenaučím, já jsem v té době jakž takž mluvila anglicky, to bych se naučila. Německy určitě. Ale já si myslím, že ztráta mateřského jazyka je strašná. A nejen pro lidi, kteří s ním pracují. Bratr tu měl na filosofické fakultě před několika lety přednášky a vyprávěl, že se emigranti, protože neuměli pořádně řeč, museli začít živit obrazem. V televizi. To byla moc zajímavá úvaha.

Bratr žil v Paříži původně se svou dívkou, která mu za války pomáhala skrývat se před gestapem. Tenkrát mu pomáhalo hodně lidí. Také to někteří odnesli zatčením. S tou se ale po nějaké době rozešel. Později se tam seznámil s mladou dívkou z Porta, z Portugalska. To byla jeho první žena, jmenovala se Julieta a měli spolu dvojčata. Když ve Francii hrozil převrat, tak spolu odešli do Portugalska. Tam jsme se po dvaceti letech sešli, v roce šedesát osm 29, za Novotného 30. To jsem tam mohla jet. Teď žije v Lisabonu, naučil se portugalsky stejně jako tehdy francouzsky, protože on je jazykově docela nadaný. V Portugalsku kromě toho, že přednášel slavistiku, pak byl na divadelní a filmové škole, byl také ředitelem Národního divadla v Lisabonu. Vydával jednu knížku za druhou a dodneška režíruje opery, všechno možné. Přestože je mu už hodně let, je tak strašně činný, že myslím, že až jednou přestane, rovnou umře. Asi bez toho nemůže být. Objektivně vzato, je mimořádně vzdělaný, mimořádně pilný, mimořádně schopný a mimořádně egocentrický. Jak by jinak taky dokázal, to, co dokázal. V tom je vypjatý egocentrismus, který je soustředěný na svou tvorbu. Ještě než emigroval, tak mu tady vyšlo pět knížek, venku pak také a teď po převratu zase. On se zpátky z emigrace nevrátil, už by tady nemohl žít. Ale občas do Čech jezdí. Jako režisér a poradce spolupracuje s místními divadly a vycházejí mu v České republice básnické i prozaické knížky. Po válce dostal od prezidenta E. Beneše 31 vyznamenání za ilegální činnost a v devadesátých letech od prezidenta V. Havla 32 ocenění za šíření naší kultury v zahraničí.

Ta jeho vypjatá egocentričnost mi strašně vadí, ale na stará kolena jsem pochopila, že je to k němu klíč. Není sám. U lidí, kteří něco dokázali, to není jinak možné. Pro ně je jejich tvorba středem světa a všichni ostatní jim slouží. On byl vždycky silná osobnost, to já jsem nikdy nebyla. On přes tu tmavou předsíň nemusel chodit. On je opravdu mimořádně vzdělaný a šikovný a vypadá skvěle. Měl víc žen – samé Portugalky, většinou z jeho profese -  a víc dětí. Svých dětí má šest a dvě vyženil. Jeho nejmladšímu dítěti je devět let a to mému bratrovi bude teď v listopadu osmdesát pět. Ani jedna z jeho žen nebyla židovského původu. On své židovství nijak nezapírá, ale také se s ním nijak neohání. Židovsky vůbec nežil, ani stínem. My jsme tak nebyli vychovaní.

Po tom vyhazovu z Barrandova jsem dlouho, asi dva roky, nemohla najít zaměstnání, neprokádrovali mě ani do fabriky. To byly zlé časy, ale všechno se přežilo a nakonec jsem uvízla zase zpátky ve filmu. Předtím jsem nějakou dobu ještě pracovala v nakladatelství Naše Vojsko, ale když to na mě zase kádrově prasklo, musela jsem zase ven. Zpátky k filmu jsem se dostala někdy v padesátém čtvrtém pomocí mé spolužačky z fakulty, protože ona byla sekretářkou u Z. Nejedlého [Nejedlý, Zdeněk (1878 – 1962): český historik, hudební vědec a kritik, publicista a politik – pozn. red.]. Prostě to nešlo normálně. Nejdříve jsem pracovala ve filmové knihovně. Ta byla v Klimentské ulici, ale spadalo to pod Ústřední čs. film. Tam jsem dávala dohromady takové ročenky. Co se  kdy udělalo, jaké filmy se vyrobili a tak. To mě samozřejmě šíleně nebavilo. No, ale pak jsem se dostala do tiskového oddělení Ústřední půjčovny filmů na Národní třídě. A v roce šedesát tři jsem se odtamtud dostala jako dramaturg kresleného a loutkového filmu. Na začátku jsme sídlili na Klárově, kde je teď metro. Tam byl pavilón, to zbourali. Pak jsme byli na Barrandově. Tam jsem byla až do konce, do důchodu a hodně mě to bavilo. Také jsem dost dlouho přesluhovala. Myslím, že jsem šla do důchodu v roce převratu, že už mi bylo třiašedesát. Ale i potom jsem tam občas něco dělala. Pracovala jsem v dramaturgii a pak jsem pro ty děti začala i něco psát. Tam se přece jenom dalo dělat leccos, to nebylo pod tak přísným politickým dohledem, i když jsme tam také měli maléry. Já dokonce dostala nějaké důtky, protože jsme Škvoreckého [Škvorecký Josef (nar. 1924): český prozaik, esejista a překladatel – pozn. red.] text převedli do animované podoby. Ten mimochodem také patřil mezi mé kamarády. 

Vdaná jsem byla dvakrát. Můj první manžel se jmenoval Josef Till, architekt. Narodil se v roce 1924. Už ani nevím, jak jsme se seznámili. Brali jsme se v roce padesát pět a byla jsem s ním čtyři roky. Děti jsme neměli. Ten první muž byl hodný a laskavý, ale pil. To byl hlavní důvod našeho rozchodu. Stále ještě žije a dosud jsme v dobrých vztazích. Zajímavé je, že jeho maminka byla Ruska, kterou si přivedl jeho otec jako legionář za první světové války. Až dodatečně jsem si uvědomila, že tady je vždycky jakási afinita k lidem, kteří nejsou tak úplně normální, stejně jako já jsem nebyla úplně normální. Já byla židovka a on napůl Rus. Zpočátku to ani nevíte, to se dozvíte až ex post, že je také jiný.

Když jsem se v roce šedesát tři vdávala podruhé, vzala jsem si žida. Ale ani tenkrát jsem zpočátku nevěděla, že prožil to, co já. Mě nenapadlo, že by to mohl být také žid, on vůbec nevypadá. Ale myslím, že ten společný prožitek nás pak asi spojil. Ty pocity odcizení, které člověka provázejí, to jsme si nemuseli vysvětlovat. Pochopili jsme se. Manžel se jmenuje Jiří Munk. Je mladší než já, narodil se v Brandýse nad Labem,  2. listopadu 1932. Seznámil nás můj první manžel, oni spolu pracovali. Jeho otec byl Adolf Munk, právník, a jeho matka se jmenovala Olga, rozená Náchodová. I ona pocházela z právnické rodiny, ta praxe zřejmě patřila jejímu otci, ale to nevím jistě. Vím, že měla sestru a když tenkrát nějak brzy ztratily maminku, tak je vychovávala nějaká teta. Nějaké velké svátky tam v tom Brandýse snad slavili.

I rodina mého muže mohla emigrovat, myslím, že žádali o affidavit a měli jet do Rhodesie [Rhodésie: vnitrozemský stát jižní Afriky. Od roku 1964 Zambie. V Zambii je zemědělství extenzivní, velmi zaostalé a z velké části jen samozásobitelské – pozn. red.], do jižní Afriky. To je snad dnešní Zimbabwe. Jeho dědeček byl statkář, velice úspěšný, ač žid, tak byl úspěšný v chovu prasat. Byl to široko daleko znalý odborník. Pokud vím, tak Rhodesie byla v té době jediná, kdo přijímal, a přijímali jedině zemědělce. Také jste museli mít nějaké peníze. Myslím, že nějaké peníze poslali, dost velké a Němci to zabavili do takzvaného vystěhovaleckého fondu. Říkali, že za ty peníze židy vystěhují na Madagaskar a Čechy do Patagonie. Těch pár lidí, co se vystěhovalo, byli bohatí, měli informace a nějaké kontakty.

Do Terezína jeli, myslím, hradeckým transportem nějak těsně v lednu čtyřicet tři, měsíc za mnou. Otec mého muže v Brandýse likvidoval místní židovskou obec a o všechno se staral, takže šli všichni z rodiny do transportu o měsíc později než lidi v Brandýse. To bylo také jejich štěstí, protože ten předchozí transport, ve kterém šli všichni židé z Brandýsa, šel rovnou dál, do Polska. Z toho se snad téměř nikdo nevrátil.

V Terezíně žily malé děti s matkou a starší s otcem. Maminka mého muže dělala pro válečný průmysl na slídě, proto v Terezíně zůstala a chránila tak své nejmenší dítě, mého muže. Manželův otec šel bohužel se starším bratrem mého muže, Viktorem, z Terezína dál. Jeho otec se nevrátil, zemřel v Osvětimi. Viktor ano, ale v hrozném stavu. Před několika lety bohužel zemřel. Manželova sestra Helena se za války v Terezíně provdala - to se pak muselo po válce nějak obnovovat – a tím manželstvím si zachránila život. Její manžel, Rudolf Kovanic, byl v jednom z prvních transportů, oni to ghetto dávali dohromady a byli pak chráněni. Na konci války bylo vybráno několik desítek mladých manželství a ti šli výměnou do Švýcar. Tam je zavřeli do dalšího tábora. Ven směli samozřejmě až po válce, to pro ně přijelo nějaké auto z tehdejšího Československa.

Manželův bratr Viktor byl výtvarně mimořádně nadán. Studoval na tehdejší UMPRUM [Vysoká škola uměleckoprůmyslová v Praze] nebo na jiné výtvarné škole. Ale byla tam nějaká studentská vzpoura. Všichni odvolali, jedině on ne a od té doby se izoloval a přestože byl velmi výtvarně nadán, dělal tady za Prahou nějaké nálepky. Až po letech, teprve po jeho smrti - zemřel na rakovinu kůže - se mi podařilo, že měl ve Španělské synagoze velkou výstavu. On opravdu fantasticky maloval. Ta výstava měla velký ohlas. Psali o tom třeba v Revolver Revue 33. Za jeho života ale nechtěl žádnou výstavu dovolit, ani nic prodat. Své obrázky dával sourozencům, k různým příležitostem. Pár jich máme doma. Oženil se velmi pozdě, protože byl dlouho nemocný. Jeho manželka se jmenovala Jitka. Žili u Karlových Varů 34 a on tam dělal všechno možné, ale pak balil trumpety. Nábožensky nijak nežil.

I můj muž byl nadaný, zase hudebně. Už v první třídě přemlouvali jeho rodiče, že s ním musí něco dělat. Ale jeho matka se sice z koncentračního tábora vrátila, ale nikdy nebyla samostatná a najednou tady zůstala sama s dětmi, nebyla schopná dělat vůbec nic, ačkoliv jí bylo asi padesát. To bylo strašné. Manžel vystudoval architekturu, stejně jako můj první muž. Jako žert říkávám, že jsem u té profese už zůstala. Léta pracoval jako architekt, ale teď už nechce. Byl odborník na obchodní sítě, napsal o tom knihu. Chtěl dělat hlavně památky, ale k tomu se nedostal. Tenkrát se vlastně žádná pořádná architektura nedělala, to byl socialistický realismus. Teď po převratu, když by mohl začít, tak už to bylo tak zkorumpované, že to by nevydržel. Úplatky, všechno na základě úplatků.

Po roce 1989

Na osmdesátý devátý rok 35 si pamatuji dobře. Byl mráz a já jsem chodila s Barrandovem, s animovaným filmem, na Václavák s klíči [v průběhu Sametové revoluce, lidi obrazně vyjádřovali nespokojenost s komunistický režímem tím, že během demostrací cinkali klíčemi — pozn red.]. Byli jsme naivní, absolutně naivní. V té první radosti ze změny jste tak otevření, naivní. Neuvědomovali jsme si, že lidi se nemůžou změnit. Lidi zůstali stejní. To nadšení mě brzy přešlo. Šlo to dolů, ale ono to samozřejmě muselo jít dolů, protože po stránce mravní to šlo dolů už od roku třicet devět. Jinak to nebylo možné, ten mravní sešup je dlouhodobý.

Po převratu jsme měli problém s restitucí. Ve čtyřicátém osmém jsem měla mít podíl na dědictví po Bohumilu Sinkovi, bratrovi mého dědečka Adolfa Synka. Válku mnoho příbuzných nepřežilo a někteří, kteří emigrovali, se dědictví vzdali. Tenkrát po válce jsme se kvůli dědické dani domluvili, že se to napíše na mou sestřenici Milenu, která byla v té době jediná neplnoletá a daň platit nemusela. Já sama jsem na daň neměla. Po převratu ale celý ten dům – a je to veliký majetek, veliký dům v Bílkově ulici 11, čtyřpatrový, dole obchod – restituovala sama. Tam nešlo o tisíce, ale o hodně milionů. Já samozřejmě na tu naši dohodu nemám svědka. Takže teď nemám alespoň starosti s penězi. Nejsem typ, který by s nimi uměl zacházet. Vem to čert. Ale jí jsem potom vzkázala, že si to musí ona vypořádat se svým svědomím. Můj bratr jí mohl samozřejmě žalovat, protože ten byl po válce v zahraničí a ničeho se nevzdal, ale taky se na to vykašlal. Ale je to něco, co po stránce mravní nemohu pochopit.

S manželem jsem měla jen jedno dítě, dceru Hanu. Narodila se 24.6.1965. Čili měla starou maminku. Já jsem dlouho nechtěla děti, ale přemluvili mě. Vystudovala v Praze na pedagogické fakultě výtvarnou výchovu. Jako druhý obor si musela vzít ruštinu a když byl převrat, tak se na ni hned všichni vykašlali. No, byli hloupí. Člověk ruštinu nemá rád, což je ale blbost. Jednou bude zapotřebí. Na filosofické fakultě pak dostudovala psychologii, ale pedagogickou, ne tu klinickou. No, je to prostě na nic. Školu dostudovala a snaží se žít na volné noze, ale je to průšvih. Dělala jeden film, o takové zapomenuté figurce z první republiky, výtvarníkovi Robertu Guttmannovi [Guttmann Robert (1880 – 1942): známý pražský malíř a sionista. Zemřel v lodžském ghettu – pozn. red.]. Našly se nějaké obrázky a něco o něm, bylo toho poměrně dost, a ačkoliv to i režírovala a neměla žádné zkušenosti, tak to nebylo špatné. Také napsala hezký scénář o strýci Viktorovi, protože i o něm je plno materiálu. Navíc s ním dělali rozhovor, takže je materiál i slovní. Jenže to potřebovalo podporu od fondu státní kinematografie. O to jsme se pokoušeli třikrát, ale marně. Také dělala nějaké obálky – ty byly docela nápadité – ale je to špatné, těch možností moc nemá. Ona není v žádném týmu a individuálně se to vůbec nedá dělat. Mimo jiné jí teď bylo čtyřicet a už je stará. Snažila se najít si zaměstnání, ale to je vyloučeno. Proč by vzali ji, když můžou vzít dvacetiletou, které dají půlku platu. Od minuty mohla jít učit. Ale řekla, že než by šla učit, že bude radši bezdomovec. Děti nemá, má psa, kterého velmi miluje. Myslím, že děti mít ani nemůže. Je velmi společenská a vypadá velmi mladě. Lidi jí často tykají. Myslím, že moje sklony ke stavům úzkosti, se bohužel přenesly i na moje dítě. Ona je velmi nervově labilní. Myslím, že druhá a případně až třetí generace těch lidí, co byli za války zavření, je také poznamenaná. Jsou vždycky takoví extrémní. Buď jsou strašně aktivní a asertivní, nebo zase opačný extrém. To ale posuzuji jen z toho mála lidí kolem sebe, co znám.

V Izraeli jsem byla jednou s cestovní kanceláří, to byl skvělý zájezd. V programu byly jak židovské, tak křesťanské památky, jinak bych s ním nejela, protože já chci vidět maximum. Úžasný dojem na mě udělal Jeruzalém. Krásné město, ta historie tam voní, jak bych tak řekla. Když jsem tam přijela poprvé, zdálo se mi, že je tam všechno moc bílé. Ale pak jsem najednou viděla, že to tam patří. Prý to dokonce měli nařízené od starosty, že cokoliv se staví, tak to má být bílé. Pokud jde o emoce, nejvíce na mě zapůsobila poušť. To se mi strašně líbilo. Stíny na poušti. To mě výtvarně oslovilo. A to jsme jí pouze projížděli, šlo jen o to, co jsem viděla z autobusu. Jela jsem tam spolu s manželem na osm dní, což ovšem není tak moc. Samozřejmě jsme nemohli vidět všechno, ale viděli jsme dost. A měli jsme štěstí na skvělý doprovod. Byli tam dva lidi z Prahy, jeden byl na moderní Izrael, ten byl dokonce povoláním zubní lékař, prostě nadšenec. Věděl všechno. Druhý průvodce byl na historii. Pak tam byl ještě třetí, to byl místní Izraelec, který dělal organizační věci. Ta cestovka se jmenuje Ars viva, to je taková cestovní kancelář pro výtvarníky a architekty, my jsme s nimi už byli víckrát. Hodně jezdí po muzeích, je to více zaměřené umělecky. Po nákupech tam ti lidé nechodí.

V Izraeli se mi moc líbilo. Možná se tam ještě někdy podívám, nějaké známé tam mám, co jsem s nimi byla za války, ale nic bližšího. Tel Aviv jsme viděli hrozně málo, on nám nezbyl úplně čas, ale myslím, že se nic nestalo, to je moderní město. U moře v těch hotelech jsme také vůbec nebyli, na to také nebyl čas. Celé tři dny jsme strávili v Jeruzalémě, dokonce jsme bydleli v hotelu v té staré části. Byli jsme tam mimo jiné v nádherném Muzeu moderního umění. Mají tam sochy instalované venku, to je málokde. A co tam toho mají, to jsem ani nemohla pochopit. Jižní Ameriku, Austrálii. Úžasné.

Co se politické situace týká, jsem naprosto skeptická. Nemyslím si, že se to dá nějak vyřešit. Myslím, že dneska žiji ve světě, ve kterém se bohužel nedá vůbec nic vyřešit. Já nevím, čím jsem starší, tak na většinu otázek nemám odpověď. Přála bych si, aby tam vedle sebe žili nějakým slušným způsobem, ale obávám se, že to není možné. Když Izrael vznikl, ani jsem o tom nevěděla.  Pohybovala jsem se v úplně jiné společnosti. Až trošičku za té šestidenní války 36 ke mně něco proniklo.

Na emigraci do Izraele jsem vůbec nemyslela, chraň pánbůh. Já bych bez té české krajiny zemřela. Čech si samozřejmě zvykne na všechno, to je druhá pravda, ale jak mu je, to je zase třetí pravda. Já mám jednak strašně ráda Prahu, i když je zničená, ale je to kus mého dětství a mládí. Pak se mi líbí krajina v naší zemi, je nádherná, proměnlivá, najdete tady všechno. Momentálně mi vadí jenom to, že všechno je čím dál tím povrchnější. Nebo nekultivovanější. Všichni lidé se chtějí mít dobře, nebo lépe, to je normální reakce, ale bohužel se využívá toho nejspodnějšího, primitivního nazíraní a jede se přes konzum. Já jsem prostě člověk dvacátého století, nikoli jednadvacátého. To ze sebe nesmažu. To dvacáté století nás poznamenalo, já jsem například na štíru s technikou. Ten náš úhel pohledu je přece jenom jiný. Stejně jako já jsem se smála svému dědečkovi, když vykládal o Rakousku-Uhersku a o první světové válce. Mysleli jsme si, že si vymýšlí.

Já sama jsem víru nikdy neřešila, to pro mě téma nebylo, což asi není běžné. Podle mě je to anachronismus, způsob, jakým se projevuje židovská ortodoxie, je anachronismus. Těch 640 nebo kolik zákazů [Micva: náboženský předpis či přikázání které je Žid povinen plnit. Podle talmudské tradice je celkem 613 přikázání, 248 kladných a 365 záporných – pozn. red.]. Pak mi tam nejvíc vadí postavení ženy, které je pro mě naprosto ponižující. Ale když to tak někdo přijme, pak je to v pořádku. Ale tohle je to, co by mě nejvíc odrazovalo. Ale ono by mě to odrazovalo i od jiných náboženství. Tohle je opravdu anachronismus, i když se říká, že díky tomu se to zachovalo. Ale já si tím nejsem tak jistá. V zahraničí jsou i rabínky, v Americe. To by se tady zbláznili. Asi před čtyřmi lety se nám podařilo prosadit, aby byla na Židovské obci anketa. Dělala ji agentura, která je na to specializovaná. Účelem té ankety bylo zjistit, jaké směřování židovské obce si představují její členové. Jestli ortodoxní, nebo ne, a co si přejí. Těch otázek bylo samozřejmě víc. Z té ankety vyšlo osmdesát procent liberálně smýšlejících a dvacet procent ortodoxních. Co myslíte, že se stalo? Nic. Převálcovali je. Těch dvacet procent kompletně převálcovalo těch osmdesát procent.

Víra je podle mě otázka filozofická, to nesouvisí jenom s židovstvím. A to, myslím, nemám dodneška vyřešené. Víra je dar a já jsem ho nedostala. Takže to neznamená, že to odsuzuji. Naopak si myslím, že ti lidé mají možná život snazší, nevím. Když jsem se něco dozvěděla o buddhismu, pokud se to dá vůbec za náboženství považovat, tak to je jedině sympatické. Ale nevím, jestli to v praxi takhle je. Ale když to někomu pomůže, tak je to v pořádku. Podvědomě nějaké hledání v každém člověku samozřejmě je a je jedno, jak se to jmenuje. Určitě si každý klade otázky o smyslu života, více nebo méně hluboké.

Po válce mě vůbec nenapadlo na židovskou obec jít. Až později, když jsem potřebovala nějaké potvrzení, asi že jsem byla v transportu. Tenkrát mě tam potkal jeden velmi vzdálený příbuzný, nějaký pan doktor Iltis, který vedl tehdejší židovský časopis. Ten, když mě viděl, říkal: „Jé, vždyť ty jsi psala básničky.“ Byl to takový droboučký pán, vodil mě tam po nějakých kancelářích a říkal: „Podívejte se, tady je jedno dítě.“ No, mně už bylo devatenáct, nebo kolik. Pamatuji se, jak jsem šla do nějaké místnosti plné matrik, kde hledali nějaké údaje, aby mi mohli dát to potvrzení. Mě to strašně deprimovalo. Byla tam taková tma. Vzala jsem si ten dokument a už jsem se tam nevrátila. Já jsem v tom roce padesát měla spíš tendenci dělat, že tam vůbec nepatřím. 

Když jsem šla do penze, to bylo po převratu, tak jsem měla pocit, že bych možná měla těm přeživším židům nějak pomáhat. Měla jsem dojem, a asi jsem měla pravdu, že ti přeživší budou často v situaci, kdy si nebudou rozumět ani se střední, ani s mladou generací. A že je nutné něco vysvětlovat. Vlastně mě k tomu svým způsobem donutily ty sdělovací prostředky, protože se mnou dělaly rozhovory na toto téma. I já jsem splatila jakýsi svůj dluh, když jsem napsala scénář o Gustavu Schorschovi [Schorch, Gustav (1918 – 1945): český divadelní režisér židovského původu. V lednu 1945 zastělen při likvidaci koncentračního tábora Fürstengrube – pozn. red.], který mi tenkrát v Terezíně velice pomohl. Byla jsem ráda, že se to mohlo realizovat. Tak jsem musela do toho židovského prostředí vniknout. Ale já sama jsem sekularizovaná, nemohu se sebou nic dělat a taky nevím, proč bych se měla najednou přetvařovat, protože je to zrovna móda. Já jsem především občan České republiky a pak náhodou, díky Hitlerovi, jsem spadla do nějaké další škatulky. Já si myslím, že jakýkoliv extrémní směr vede  k určitému nedemokratickému projevu a k omezení druhého člověka. To ve mně v podstatě vyvolává často až takovou přehnanou reakci, že se nechci nechat někam zařadit a že chci být samostatná. Vede to k jistému osamění a osamělosti. Když nechcete nikam patřit, musíte být smířená sama se sebou. To se mi moc nedaří. Nedávno, asi před rokem, sem jezdil nějaký Rakušan, spisovatel, a ten se mnou dělal rozhovory. Když jsem byla kdysi ve Vídni, tak nás někdo v rámci výročí holocaustu seznámil. V tom rozhovoru je jako nejdůležitější motto, že nejsem smířená a nikdy nebudu. I když vím, že se věci nedají změnit. Je to možná dětinská revolta, ale vyjadřuje to můj postoj.

Já měla s antisemitismem nepříjemné zážitky. Hned po válce jsem se šla přihlásit do Svazu politických vězňů. Oni mě nepřijali, že židy neberou. Že to nebyla odbojová činnost.  Pak nám lidi nechtěli vracet to, co otec někde před válkou schoval. Pak, když mě vyhazovali z Barrandova. To říkali, že proti mně nic nemají, ale ten židovský původ… že jsem prý nespolehlivá.

V těch nejhorších životních chvílích mně hodně pomáhalo cvičení u Jarmily Kröschlové [Kröschlová, Jarmila (1893 – 1983): česká tanečnice, choreografka a pedagožka – pozn. red.], výrazový tanec. Člověk se musí někdy zastavit, soustředit a uvolnit se. Začalo to tak, že můj bratr žil po válce s tanečnicí René Zachovalovou, která mu za války pomáhala. Ta byla v taneční skupině Jarmily Kröschlové. René mě tam zavedla, ale já jsem tam chodila jenom krátce, protože se to platilo a já neměla peníze. Takže chvíli trvalo, než jsem se tam zase mohla vrátit, ale s malými  přestávkami tam chodím dodneška. Někdy i učím. Ale je to jenom můj koníček, ne profese. Jarmila  Kröschlová byla skvělá, učila na konzervatoři všechny herce pohybovou výchovu. Žila dlouho, když zemřela, bylo jí přes devadesát let. Měla dokonce povolené soukromé vyučování, přestože to bylo potom v padesátých letech zakázané. Učila herce a chodily jsme k ní i my. Ale její taneční skupina už se nerealizovala. Ještě jsem viděla Dvořákovy [Dvořák, Antonín (1841 – 1904): český hudební skladatel – pozn. red.] Slovanské tance, brzy po válce, kde ještě tančila ona. To jí bylo hodně přes padesát. Byla to krásná žena, vysoká. A napsala teoretické knížky, které jsou podle mě vůbec nejlepší v Evropě. Jedna se jmenuje O pohybu, a druhá Nauka o tanci.

My jako její pohrobci a potomci si pronajímáme od Lidové školy umění v Dittrichové ulici pod Karlovým náměstím taneční sál, jednou týdně dopoledne na dvě hodiny, protože děti chodí odpoledne. Chodí tam několik letitých žákyň. Jsme tři, které jsme zůstaly z těch všech lidí, které trochu můžeme učit, což je žena Ivana Vyskočila [Vyskočil, Ivan (nar. 1929): český dramatik, prozaik a herec – pozn. red.], spisovatele, Eva Vyskočilová, pak Míla Babická a já. V úterý máme dvě hodiny za sebou a chodí tam tak po deseti lidech, takové „staré báby“. Ale kdybyste viděla, to je jak kouzelný proutek, když si vezmou ta trika. Je na nich vidět, že celý život něco dělaly. Opravdu. No a pak jdeme na kafe. Známe se strašných let. Učit je strašně zajímavé, moc ráda je někdy pozoruji. Tělo mluví, to je úžasné, i způsob, jakým pohnete rukou a já z toho jejich pohybu o nich vyčtu plno věcí. Každý se hýbe trochu jinak a také někdo to pochopí lépe a ten cit v těle se mu lehčeji probudí. To, co mi teď cvičíme, je v podstatě uvolňování, taková gymnastika, co všechno se dá třeba dělat s ramenním kloubem. Abyste o něm věděla.

Musím říct, že mě pohyb mockrát zachránil před hlubokými depresemi. A že mi to dalo víc než všechna slova, i víc, než všechna literatura. Když se začnete hýbat, tak se trošku osvěžíte a trošku to pročišťuje. Taková deviza té Jarmily Kröschlové, když to shrnu do jedné velmi povrchní věty, byla, že chtěla, aby dal člověk do souhry pohyb s myšlením. Tím se dostanete do rovnováhy, uvolníte se a v tom okamžiku zapomenete, že existujete. Myslím, že je hrozné, když se pak člověk nemůže hýbat. Hrozné. Mám jednoho přítele, filosofa, který už jenom sedí a leží. Má vůli, píše, vydává knížky, nicméně je to strašné. Já Jarmile Kröschlové za moc vděčím. A nejsem sama.

Co dodat: moje zaujetí slovem se po skončení války a studií a po různých peripetiích a trýzních v době totality projevilo v dramaturgické, scénáristické i žurnalistické práci. Kromě knížky „Motýli tady nežijí“, která zachycuje kresby a básně vězněných terezínských dětí, 1942-1945, a byla přeložena do mnoha jazyků, kde jsou moje verše, často inspirující hudebníky a autory pořadů o holocaustu, jsem napsala - později převážně se svým manželem Jiřím Munkem - scénáristické předlohy k večerníčkovským dětským animovaným seriálům [večerníček je krátká, nejčastěji kreslená pohádka pro děti vysílaná v pravidelný čas večer – pozn. red.], které často uvádí televize. Posléze i ke krátkým animovaným filmům a k několika dokumentům. V poslední době nám s manželem vyšly dvě dětské knížky o večerníčkovských psích hrdinech - Štaflíkovi a Špagetce. Kolik filmů jsem dramaturgovala nelze spočítat.

Další výčet mých různých aktivit není důležitý, protože na konci veškeré činnosti si člověk klade otázku po jejím smyslu. Dodržela jsem alespoň zčásti otcův odkaz? Odkaz matky, která mi tolik chyběla a která se naštěstí nedožila hrůzných válečných let? Otázky bez odpovědí se vrší kolem mne stále ve větší míře. Takže zbývá pouze jediné obtížné úsilí. Smířit se.

Glosář:

1 Protižidovské zákony v Protektorátu Čechy a Morava

po německé okupace Čech a Moravy byla postupně zaváděna protižidovská legislativa. Židé nesměli chodit na veřejná místa, tj. parky, divadla, kina, koupaliště atd. Byli vyloučeni ze všech profesních asociací a nemohli být veřejnosti sloužící osoby. Nesměli navštěvovat německé a české školy, později jim byly zakázány i soukromé hodiny. Židé nesměli opouštět svá obydlí po 20. hodině. Mohli nakupovat jen mezi 15. - 17. hodinou. Mohli cestovat jen v oddělených částech prostředků veřejné dopravy. Byly jim zkonfiskovány telefony a rádia. Bez povolení se nesměli přestěhovat. Od roku 1941 museli nosit žlutou hvězdu. 

2 Terezín

malé pevnostní město, které bylo v době existence Protektorátu Čechy a Morava přeměněno v ghetto, řízené SS (Schutzstaffel, Ochranný oddíl). Židé byli z Terezína transportováni do různých vyhlazovacích táborů. Čeští četníci byli využíváni k hlídání ghetta. Židé však s jejich pomocí mohli udržovat kontakty s okolním světem. Navzdory zákazu vzdělávání se v ghettu konala pravidelná výuka. V roce 1943 se rozšířily zprávy o tom, co se děje v nacistických koncentračních táborech, a proto se Němci rozhodli Terezín přetvořit na vzorové židovské osídlení s fiktivními obchody, školou, bankou atd. Do Terezína pozvali na kontrolu komisi Mezinárodního červeného kříže.

3 Hašek, Jaroslav (1883–1923)

český humorista, satirik, autor příběhů, cestopisných článků a esejí. Pro jeho literární dílo a pro vytvoření postavy vojáka Švejka se staly inspirací zážitky z 1. světové války. Voják Švejk se stal hlavní postavou jeho čtyřdílného humoristického románu „Příběhy dobrého vojáka Švejka“. Hašek se pohyboval v kruhu pražských umělců. Satiricky zachytil židovský sociální život a zvyky své doby. Ve svém díle zesměšňoval státní byrokracii, militarismus, klerikalismus a katolicismus. 

4 Lodž, ghetto

Lodžské ghetto bylo založeno v únoru 1940 v bývalé židovské čtvrti. Do oblasti o velikosti 4 km2 bylo shromážděno 164 000 Židů. Během roku 1941 a 1942 bylo do Lodže deportováno dalších 38 500 Židů. Židovská správa v čele s Mordechaiem Rumkowskym se snažila učinit ghetto co možná nejproduktivnější a zaměstnat co možná nejvíc obyvatel. Přesto v důsledku epidemií, nedostatku jídla a nevyhovujících hygienických podmínek zemřelo přibližně 43 500 Židů (21 % všech obyvatel ghetto) na podvýživu, podchlazení a nemoci. Ostatní byli transportováni do vyhlazovacích táborů a pouze malý počet z nich přežil.

5 Masaryk, Tomáš Garrigue (1850-1937)

československý politický vůdce, filosof a přední zakladatel První republiky. T. G. M. založil v roce 1900 Českou lidovou stranu, která usilovala o českou nezávislost v rámci rakousko-uherské monarchie, o ochranu menšin a jednotu Čechů a Slováků. Po rozpadu rakousko-uherské monarchie v roce 1918 se Masaryk stal prvním československým prezidentem. Znovu zvolen byl v roce 1920, 1927 a 1934. Mezi první rozhodnutí jeho vlády patřila rozsáhlá pozemková reforma. Masaryk rezignoval na prezidentský úřad v roce 1935 a jeho nástupcem se stal Edvard Beneš.

6 Sparta

klub Sparta Praha byl založen 16.11.1893. Největší úspěchy zaznamenala Sparta ve 20. a 30. letech 20. století, kdy dvakrát zvítězila ve Středoevropském poháru, mající stejný význam jako dnešní Champions League. Hráči Sparty spolu s hráči Slávie vždy tvořily základ národního československého a později českého týmu. 

7 Živnostenská strana

pravostředová politická strana maloobchodníků, založená v roce 1906 v Čechách, o dva roky později i na Moravě, která existovala do roku 1938. Strana neměla vlastní jasně vymezený program, nikdy se nestala masovou stranou a nikdy nedosáhla více než 5,4 % hlasů v parlamentích volbách. Nejznámějšími představiteli strany byli Rudolf Mlčoch a Josef Najman.

8 Sokol

jedna z nejznámějších českých organizací, která byla založen v roce 1862 jako první tělovýchovná organizace v rakousko-uherské monarchii. Největší rozkvět zažila mezi světovými válkami, kdy počet jejích členů přesáhl 1 milion. Sokol sehrál klíčovou roli při národním odporu vůči Rakousko-Uhersku, nacistické okupaci a komunistickému režimu, i když byl právě během první světové války, za nacistické okupace a komunisty po roce 1948 zakázán. Obnoven byl v roce 1990.

9 Česko-židovské hnutí

v roce 1876 byla založena první česko-židovská organizace, Spolek českých Akademiků Židů. V roce 1881 tento spolek začal vydávat Česko-židovský almanach, první židovské noviny v českém jazyce. členové první generace česko-židovského hnutí se považovali za Židy podle denominace – náboženství. Významným zástupcem mladší generace byl Viktor Vohryzek.

10 První československá republika (1918-1938)

byla založena po rozpadu rakousko-uherské monarchie po první světové válce. Spojení českých zemí a Slovenska bylo oficiálně vyhlášeno v Praze roku 1918 a formálně uznáno smlouvou ze St. Germain roku 1919. Podkarpatská Rus byla připojena smlouvou z Trianonu roku 1920. Ústava z roku 1920 ustanovila poměrně centralizovaný stát a příliš neřešila problém národnostních menšin. To se však promítlo do vnitřního politického života, kterému naopak dominoval neustálý odpor národnostních menšin proti československé vládě.    

11 Vyloučení Židů z protektorátních škol

ministerstvo školství v Protektorátu Čechy a Morava vydalo v roce 1940 dekret, který zakazoval židovským dětem od školního roku 1940/41 nastoupit do českých veřejných či soukromých škol a ti, kteří již chodili do školy, byli z ní vyloučeni. Po roce 1942 bylo židovským dětem zakázáno navštěvovat i židovské školy a kurzy organizované židovskou komunitou.

12 Žlutá hvězda – židovská hvězda v protektorátu

1. září 1941 byl vydán výnos, podle kterého všichni Židé starší 6 let nesmí vyjít na veřejnost bez židovské hvězdy. Tato židovská hvězda byla žlutá, ohraničená černou linií. Židé ji museli nosit připevněnou na viditelném místě na levé straně oblečení. Tento výnos začal platit od 19. září 1941. Byl to další krok ve vydělování Židů ze společnosti. Autorem této myšlenky byl Reinhard Heydrich.

13 Vlajka

fašistická skupina v Československu založená v roce 1930. která byla aktivní před a během 2. světové války. Hlavním představitelem byl Josef Rys-Rozsévač (1901-1946). Program Vlajky byl extrémně pravicový, antisemitský a inklinoval k nacismu. Spolupracovala s německou tajnou policií, ale nikdy nepředstavovala výraznou sílu.

14 Němcová Božena (1820–1862)

narodila se ve Vídni jako Barbora Panklová do rodiny Johanna Pankla, šlechtického kočího. 1837 se provdala za finančního úředníka Josefa Němce. Přispívala do různých časopisů. Inspirovala se tradičními lidovým vyprávěním a napsala sedm sbírek lidových příběhů a legend. Mezi její nejznámější romány patří: Divá Bára, Pohorská vesnice, Karla, Pan učitel, V zámku a podzámčí a neznámější Babička.

15 Mácha, Karel Hynek (1810–1836)

představitel romantismu, jehož poezie, próza a drama se zabývaly otázkami lidské existence. Mácha zemřel poměrně mladý roku 1836 na choleru a vyčerpání organismu. K jeho nejznámějším dílům patří: Máj a Křivoklát.

16 Kafka, Franz (1883 – 1924)

pražský autor židovského původu, jeden z nejvlivnějších spisovatelů 20. století.

17 Přítomnost

časopis založený v roce 1924 Ferdinandem Peroutkou, který se stal nejlepším politickým magazínem své doby. Během války byla Přítomnost zakázána, po ní začala opět vycházet ale pod novým názvem Dnešek. Po únoru 1948 byl tento časopis opět zakázán a obnoven až roku 1995 pod názvem Nová Přítomnost.  

18 Peroutka, Ferdinand (1895 – 1978)

novinář a politický komentátor liberální orientace. V roce 1948 odešel do exilu, 1951 – 61 byl prvním ředitelem radia Svobodná Evropa.

19 Anšlus

označení pro anexi Rakouska Německem. Mírová smlouva ze St. Germain z roku 1919 zakazovala spojení Rakouska a Německa s cílem zabránit obnově silného Německa. 12. března 1938 Hitler okupoval Rakousko a připojil ho k Německu jako provincii Ostmark. V květnu 1945 bylo Rakousko osvobozeno a roku 1955 byla potvrzena jeho nezávislost Rakouskou státní smlouvou. 

20 Winton, Sir Nicholas (nar

1909): britský makléř a humanitární pracovník, který se v roce 1939 podílel na organizování transportů židovských dětí z území Protektorátu Čechy a Morava do Velké Británie. Tímto způsobem bylo zachráněno 669 dětí.

21 Brundibár

dětská opera Brundibár byla napsána roku 1938 pro soutěž vyhlášenou tehdejším československým ministerstvem školství. Tuto operu složil Hans Krása na libreto Adolfa Hoffmeistera. Brundibár měl v Terezíně více než 50 představení. Hlavní myšlenky objevující se v této opeře jsou solidarita, kolektivní boj proti nepříteli a vítězství dobra nad zlem.

22 Mladá Fronta

v květnu 1945 začalo Hnutí mládeže za svobodu vydávat noviny Mladá Fronta. Prvním šéfredaktorem byl básník Jaromír Hořec. Od září 1990 se nakladatelství Mladá Fronta transformovala do akciové společnosti MaFra, která začala vydávat deník se stejným názvem, tj. Mladá Fronta DNES.  

23 Malá pevnost v Terezíně

nechvalně známé vězení, používané dvěma totalitními režimy - nacistickým Německem a komunistickým Československem. Tato pevnost byla postavena v 18. století jako součást opevňovacího systému a skoro od samého počátku byla používána jako vězení. V roce 1940 Gestapo převzalo Malou pevnost a věznilo zde politické vězně – členy různých odbojových hnutí. Za nacistické okupace zde bylo drženo asi 32 000 vězňů. Československo do Malé pevnosti po druhé světové válce umístilo německé civilisty předtím, než byli odsunuti ze země.

24 Ravensbrueck

koncentrační tábor pro ženy, blízko Fuerstenbergu, v Německu. Jeho výstavba začala koncem roku 1938. Prvními deportovanými byly rakouské a německé ženy, které do Ravensbruecku byly převezeny 18. května 1939. Do konce roku 1942 počet vězňů v táboře dosáhl 42 000. Během celé jeho existence bylo do tábora transportováno asi 132 000 žen a dětí, z toho 92 000 bylo zabito. V květnu 1945 ti, kdo přežili tábor a následný pochod smrti, byli osvobozeni sovětskou armádou.

25 Joint (Americký židovský spojený distribuční výbor)

Joint vznikl v roce 1914 v reakci na utrpení Židů během 1. světové války. V roce 1944 se Joint zapojil do humanitární pomoci Židům v již osvobozených částech Evropy. Zajišťoval dodávky jídla a dalších potřebných věcí (oblečení) pro židovské přeživší po celé Evropě. Joint rovněž pomáhal Židům emigrovat z Evropy a muslimských zemí. Během studené války byla tato organizace vytlačena ze střední Evropy, ale po pádu komunismu se do mnoha z těchto zemích vrátila. Dnes se Joint stará o přeživší holocaustu a podporuje oživení a rozvoj židovských komunit.  

26 Svaz socialistické mládeže (SSM)

masová organizace mládeže v bývalém Československu, která navázala na tradici dětských a mládežnických hnutí z dob první československé republiky. SSM se stal nástupcem Svazu československé mládeže, který ukončil svoji činnost roku 1968. V roce 1970 za podpory KSČ byly založeny jednotlivé mládežnické organizace SSM. Nejvyšším orgánem byla národní konference. Tiskovým orgánem v Čechách byla Mladá Fronta a na Slovensku Smena. Po roce 1989 jeho činnost byla zastavena.   

27 Únor 1948

komunistické převzetí moci v Československu, které se pak stalo jedním ze sovětských satelitů ve východní Evropě. Státní aparát byl centralizovaný pod vedením Komunistické strany Československa (KSČ). Soukromé vlastnictví v hospodářství bylo zakázáno a vše bylo podřízeno centrálnímu plánování. Politická opozice a disent byli pronásledováni.

28 Slánského proces

V letech 1948-49 československá vláda spolu se Sovětským svazem podporovala myšlenku založení státu Izrael. Později se však Stalinův zájem obrátil na arabské státy a komunisté museli vyvrátit podezření, že podporovali Izrael dodávkami zbraní. Sovětské vedení oznámilo, že dodávky zbraní do Izraele byly akcí sionistů v Československu. Každý Žid v Československu byl automaticky považován za sionistu. Roku 1952 na základě vykonstruovaného procesu bylo 14 obžalovaných (z toho 11 byli Židé) spolu s Rudolfem Slánským, prvním tajemníkem komunistické strany, bylo uznáno vinnými. Poprava se konala 3. prosince 1952. Později komunistická strana připustila chyby při procesu a odsouzení byli rehabilitováni společensky i legálně v roce 1963.

29 Pražské jaro

období demokratických reforem v Československu, od ledna do srpna 1968. Reformní politici byli tajně zvoleni do vedoucích funkcí KSČ: Josef Smrkovský se stal předsedou národního shromáždění a Oldřich Černík předsedou vlády. Významnou osobou reforem byl Alexandr Dubček, generální tajemník ústředního výboru komunistické strany Československa (ÚV KSČ). V květnu 1968 ÚV KSČ přijal akční program, který vymezil novou cestu k socialismu a sliboval ekonomické a politické reformy. 21. března 1968 na setkání zástupců SSSR, Maďarska, Polska, Bulharska, NDR a Československa v Drážďanech bylo Československo upozorněno, že jeho směřování je nežádoucí. V noci 20. srpna 1968 sovětská vojska spolu s vojsky Varšavské smlouvy podnikly invazi do Československa. Následně byl podepsán Moskevský protokol, který ukončil demokratizační proces a byl zahájen normalizační proces.

30 Novotný, Antonín (1904 – 1975)

československý komunistický prezident. Během 2. světové války se účastnil ilegálních aktivit Komunistické strany Československa. V letech 1941-45 byl vězněn v koncentračním táboře Mauthausen. 1951 se stal generálním tajemníkem ÚV KSČ a 19. listopadu 1957 prezidentem. 28. března 1968 byl donucen odstoupit a zcela opustit politický život.    

31 Beneš, Edvard (1884-1948)

československý politik a prezident v letech 1935-38 a 1946-48. Byl stoupencem T. G. Masaryka, prvního československého prezidenta, myšlenky čechoslovakismu a Masarykovou pravou rukou. Po první světové válce zastupoval Československo na Pařížské mírové konferenci. Edvard Beneš působil ve funkci ministra zahraničních věcí (1918-1935) a ministerského předsedy (1921-1922) nového československého státu a stal se i prezidentem po odstoupení T. G. Masaryka z prezidentského úřadu v roce 1935. 

32 Havel, Václav (1936-2011)

český dramatik a politik. Aktivně se podílel na politickém a společenském uvolňování během Pražského jara. Po Sovětské intervenci v roce 1968 se stal mluvčím Charty 77. Z politických důvodů byl zatčen v letech 1977 a 1979. V roce 1989 byl zvolen československým a po odtržení Slovenska i českým prezidentem. Ve své funkci setrval do roku 2003.

33 Revolver Revue

tento časopis je vydáván od roku 1985. Do roku 1989 vycházel v samizdatu. Dnes je to čtvrtletní magazín, který se věnuje literatuře a umění v širším společenském kontextu.  

34 Karlovy Vary

nejznámější české lázně, pojmenované po českém králi Karlovi IV., který údajně nalezl tyto prameny během lovu roku 1358. Karlovy Vary se staly jedním z nejoblíbenějších letovisek u členů královských rodin a aristokracie po celé Evropě.

35 Samizdatová literatura v Československu

Samizdatová literatura znamená tajné vydávání a šíření vládou zakázané literatury v bývalém sovětském bloku. Obvykle tato literatura byla psána na stroji na tenký papír. Nejdříve byla šířena v rámci skupiny důvěryhodných přátel z ruky do ruky, kteří pak udělali další kopie a tajně je dále distribuovali. Materiál, který byl takto šířen, zahrnoval beletrii, poezii, paměti, historické práce, politické smlouvy, petice, náboženské traktáty a časopisy. Tresty za tuto činnost se lišily podle politického klimatu, od pronásledování po zatčení a uvěznění. V Československu zažila samizdatová literatura rozkvět po roce 1948, a pak znova po roce 1968 v souvislosti se vznikem řady edic pod vedením různých spisovatelů, literárních kritiků a publicistů: Petlice (editor L. Vaculík), Expedice (editor J. Lopatka), Česká expedice, Popelnice a Pražská imaginace.

36 Šestidenní válka (5

-10. června 1967): první útok v šestidenní válce provedlo izraelské letectvo 5. června 1967. Celá válka trvala 132 hodin a 30 minut. Boje na egyptské straně trvaly čtyři dny, zatímco boje na jordánské straně trvaly tři dny. Navzdory krátkému průběhu byla šestidenní válka jednou z nejničivějších válek mezi Izraelem a arabskými státy. Šestidenní válka zapříčinila změny v mentalitě a politické orientaci arabských států. V důsledku toho se zvýšilo napětí mezi arabskými národy a západním světem.   
 

Eli (Eliyau) Perahya

Eli (Eliyau) Perahya
Istanbul
Turkey
Interviewer: Naim Guleryuz
Date of interview: December 2004

Very well-known in the Jewish community in Istanbul, Eli Perahya’s life has been connected with cultural and social work. Besides his professional occupation he devoted 26 years of his life to the service of the Chief Rabbinate of Turkey as a financial counselor. He is regarded with love and respect by every person who knows him. His friends have unforgettable and pleasurable memories of social gatherings in his home. Eli Perahya is 92 years old now, and retired from financial counseling. He lives with his equally beloved and respected wife Klara in Nisantas, an outstanding and distinguished residential district of Istanbul, in an apartment well decorated with many paintings, and a grand piano always open for someone to perform. In spite of his age he has not stopped his habit of extensive reading, researching and writing for the Shalom newspaper every week, the only Jewish newspaper of the Turkish Jewish community today. Together with his wife, he is also the co-author of a Ladino-French dictionary.

The Encyclopedia Judaica dates back the roots of the Perahya(h) family to 13th century Egypt. M. Molho, in his monograph about the Perahya family [‘Essai d’une Monographie sur la Famille Perahia’, Thessaloniki, 1938, pp. 27-33], states that the Perahya family was Salonican and that they had raised many grand rabbis. Molho also talks with awe about the very famous Perahya Library. The word Perahyah can be understood as the merge of the [Hebrew] words ‘Perah’ meaning ‘flower’ and ‘Yah’ meaning ‘God,’ so the ‘flower of God.’ Pirke Avot [‘Ethics of the Fathers’, a part of the Mishna] mentions Yeshua ben Perahya. Perahya has been mentioned also as the uncle of Isaah in Israel Zangwill’s 1 book ‘Fantaisies Italiennes’ [translated by Mme. Marcel Girette, Collection Anglia, Editions G. Cres et Cie., 1924].

I was told that my paternal grandfather, Ishak Perahya, was born in Kuzguncuk [district on the Asian side of Istanbul], and so were his brother Vitali, who married Esterina and had two sons named Jak and Salvador, and his sister Rachel, who married someone from the Keribar family, whose name I don’t remember, and didn’t have any children. Later they moved to the Haydarpasha area [district on the Asian side of Istanbul]. Unfortunately I don’t have any details about his parents or his education.

Having a thin moustache and no beard, my paternal grandfather used to wear normal urban clothes with a fez 2, and in winter he wrapped himself in his kurdi 3. He had an authoritarian but loving character; however, he never revealed his feelings much. My grandmother always addressed him as ‘siz’ [in a formal and respectful way, analogue to the French ‘Vous’ or the German ‘Sie’] and always used a third person singular question form as in: ‘A ke oras va vinir?’ [Ladino question in the formal and polite form, meaning ‘at what time will you come?’] .

My grandfather Ishak was devoted to his religion; very respectful of Shabat [Sabbath], obeyed the kasherut [kashrut] rules, and performed all his religious duties and obligations. It cannot be said that he was pious, since in those days this was the normal, standard way of life.

My paternal grandmother, Yohevet, was from the family of Fratelli Haim, who owned the famous printing house. [Editor’s note: later named ‘Kagitcilik Matbaacilik Anonim Sirketi,’ it was a modern printing house founded by the Haim brothers around the end of the 19th century, publishing books in different languages, including the review ‘Hamenora,’ edited by the Bnai Brith Association]. I don’t know anything about her parents, her childhood or education.

My maternal grandfather, Moshe Rottenberg, an Ashkenazi, emigrated from Russia, probably to flee the oppression against Jews in that country. [Editor’s note: In the late 19th century many Jews from the Russian Empire (often from Bessarabia or Southern Ukraine) as well as from Romania fled south of the Danube, to Bulgaria and the Ottoman Empire, to escape pogroms and oppression in general.] I have no idea about his birth date or birth place, but I guess he had some sisters who remained in Russia. He married here, in Istanbul, Belina Scherler, who was born in Istanbul and attended the German High School. He was the Turkish business representative of different European manufacturers. Later Moshe and Belina Rottenberg immigrated to Belgium and both died there.

I remember my paternal grandparents much better than my maternal ones, mostly because my father lived for a long time in his father’s house, even after he got married, as it was customary in those days. My maternal grandfather had lesser financial means than my paternal one, but he was more outgoing. Unfortunately I don’t have many memories of him.

My father, Yaakov Perahya, was born in Haydarpasha, Istanbul. I never knew his birth date. He attended the communal elementary school and continued his studies in the German High School of the Hilfsverein [der Deutschen Juden] 4. Together with his brother Yasef, who married Regine and had three children – Rifat, Victor and Elvira – he was a partner in their father’s millinery shop in Corapci Han [Turkish words meaning sock-maker/seller building] in Mahmutpasha [a business neighborhood in Istanbul].

My father was the only subscriber [probably not literally the only subscriber, but there must have been very few of them] in Turkey of Forverts 5, a periodical printed in Yiddish in the U.S.; the periodical came rolled up in a tube. He of course knew Yiddish very well because he had studied at the Hilfsverein Jewish school even though he himself was Sephardic. He liked to read it aloud while simultaneously translating it into French. He kept all the issues. At one time there were so many periodicals piled up at home that I remember quite clearly, my mother telling him, ‘Ya basta, los echaremos’ [Ladino: ‘enough, let’s throw them away’]. Since he was neither very talented in trading nor really interested in it, he wouldn’t go to the shop very often; mostly it was his brother and father who ran the business. Instead he preferred to go to the synagogue and the yeshiva [yeshivah] and have religious discussions with the rabbis and his friends. I probably got my habit of reading and discussing from him and later developed it further with personal effort.

Besides being Sephardic, maybe because of the German cultural background he had gotten, he was also very interested in the Ashkenazi synagogue, even to the point that he read his morning Tefila [prayer] at home one morning in the Sephardic way, another morning in the Ashkenazi way. He attended both synagogues. Because of this intimate interest of his I make a donation and add his name on the list of the deceased members of the synagogue, to be read at every Yom Kippur at 12 o’clock midday. [Editor’s note: According to the Istanbul Ashkenazi tradition, a Kaddish for the souls of the dead is recited at noon at every Yom Kippur. The names of the deceased for whom the Kaddish is to be recited are recorded beforehand. Again according to the Ashkenazi tradition, those members of the congregation whose parents are alive do not attend this prayer. They have to leave while this prayer is being read. According to the Ashkenazi tradition those whose parents are both alive are not even allowed to go to the cemeteries.]

On the other hand, I do recall my father acting as a reporter for some foreign journals and newspapers, and having a Zionist point of view. In fact when Nahum Sokolov 6, the Hebrew writer, a pioneer in modern Hebrew journalism and president of the World Zionist Organization and the Jewish Agency, visited Istanbul, the interview he made with him in Pera Palas Hotel was published in a foreign newspaper, I don’t remember which, but probably one in German. [Editor’s note: Designed by the French architect Alexander Vallaury and opened in October 1891, the Pera Palas Hotel was built primarily for use of passengers coming from Paris to Istanbul.] My father used the signature Yifrah as a pseudonym when he wrote in local Jewish weekly newspapers like El Tiempo 7 and La Vera Luz 8. I still sign some of my writings in my column, named La Huente [fountain/source], on the Judeo-Spanish page of the Shalom 9 newspaper with Ben Yifrah [Hebrew for Son of Yifrah].

My father and I didn’t have problems in our relationship. There was not the tell-tale ‘generation gap’ between us. In fact our relationship had nothing worth mentioning.

My mother, Klara Rottenberg, was born in Istanbul in 1886 as one of eight children of an Ashkenazi family. My mother’s sisters Rachel and Hanna died very young, of tuberculosis, in Istanbul. Her brothers Manuel and Josef immigrated to France whereas Leon and Cecile went to Belgium. During World War II, Manuel participated actively in the French Resistance, at Romans near Grenoble in France. When my mother died in 1988, she was 102 years old.

Although my mother’s native tongue was Yiddish, after she got married, in time she managed to communicate in Judeo-Spanish much better and more comprehensively than many Sephardi people.

My mother was a classical housewife. Although my father had a rich library at home, I don’t recall my mother making any use of it. My paternal grandmother, Yohevet, except for religious holidays, went to play cards with friends almost every afternoon and sometimes also took her daughter-in-law, my mother, with her.

According to the Muslim [Islamic] Calendar 10 my year of birth is 1328, meaning 1913 in the Gregorian calendar. I was born on 14th February in a distinguished little district of Istanbul on the Anatolian side, called Haydarpasha.

My siblings are Luisa, born in 1920, and married to Ishak Sayah, and Anna, born in 1924, and married to David Abaruh. Both studied in French schools.

Why am I named Eli, when according to the Sephardic tradition, where the first child is named after his paternal grandfather, I should have been named Ishak? The simple reason was that my paternal grandfather didn’t want to give his name when he was alive, thus he opened the Torah at random and decided on the first biblical name he read: it was Eliyau… Ilyao is my name spelt erroneously in the civil registers.

We lived in the three-storey high Lefter Apartment on Duz Street, very near the famous Valpreda Apartments, between the Haydarpasha and Kadikoy districts. [Editor’s note: They were built in Yeldegirmeni, Haydarpasa, at the beginning of the 20th century. The owners or tenants of these apartments were mostly Jews. These were the first modern apartments built on the Asian side of Istanbul.] Valpreda was the name of the famous architect who had built the big Haydarpasha Railway Station. [One of the two main railway stations in Istanbul, built between 1899 and 1903. It is located on the Asian side and connects the city with Anatolia, Iran and the Middle East.] As the building had the same granite stone covering, it was rumored that he had built the apartments using the leftovers from the railway station’s construction. Obviously this was just a rumor; a logical error of judgment.

There were four rooms with high ceilings; some had a sea-view. There was electricity and running water and heating in winter was by using a big enamel coal-stove.

Meat was bought from the kosher butcher, prepared and cooked traditionally. After attending the Friday night prayer in the synagogue, dinner was eaten at a very specially prepared table, all together. Dinner on Friday nights was one of the most important events and entertainments of the family. First my paternal grandfather used to recite the Kiddush and then came the meals, starting usually with fish cooked with green plums, flour pastry, vegetables, meat and fruit or dessert, all accompanied by kosher wine. Then we used to sing joyously all together. The dinner was prepared by a Jewish cook named Esterina.

We also attended the synagogue every Saturday. Jewish shops were all closed on Saturdays and religious holidays. My grandfather Ishak used to gather the kids in the Haydarpasha synagogue [named the Hemdat Israel Synagogue, inaugurated in 1899] and during the summer in Buyukada [one of the Prince Islands in the Marmara Sea, near Istanbul] synagogue [named Hessed le Avraam, inaugurated in 1904] and shared with them his religious knowledge. My father was the gabay [gabbai] of the Haydarpasha synagogue. The Saturday sermons by Rav Ishak Sciaky were listened to with great interest and some people who could comprehend his teachings followed him to his house where they had discussions with him. [Rav Ishak Sciaky (Shaki) (1852-1940): president of Beth Din, author of the Ladino ‘Historia Universal Judia’ (The Universal Jewish History), a 16-volume masterpiece, 13 of which have been published. It is written in the Rashi alphabet. He also contributed to the completion of the Me-am Loez (An outstanding Bible commentary in Judeo-Spanish, written in a popular and attractive style.) by working on the Song of Songs chapter in 1899. He deputized for the Hahambashi [Chief Rabbi] from 1931 to 1940.] I remember that sometimes, together with both my grandfathers, we used to go to his house, too. Besides this, my father was officially registered as one of the title-deed holders of the Haydarpasha synagogue. Here my mind gets caught on something odd; there were no mikves. As far as I can remember, an agreement was made with the local public Turkish bath, the Hamam, to use one part of the bath as mikve [mikveh] on certain days and hours of the week; I don’t remember which days.

Judeo-Spanish was the dominant language in my grandfather Ishak’s home; however, my parents often used Yiddish to communicate with each other. Although I’ve never learned this language, with my ears full of it I’ve always felt very familiar with it.

My mother believed in the Evil Eye and she called it ‘aynara,’ a concise colloquial expression for ‘ayn ha-araa’ [mentioned in the morning prayers as ‘Please God to protect us from the malicious looks around’, literally bad eyes]. My younger brother, Albert, whom we lost as a very young child, was a beautiful baby. On a summer day on Buyukada while my mother was pushing him along in his baby carriage, a woman passing by came to her and said, ‘ke ermozo ijiko’ [what a beautiful boy] and went away. That same night, after a very sudden high fever, my brother developed quick-spreading meningitis, and in a short time he passed away.

My mother came from a family who loved music, singing and dancing, and she played the piano herself. She very much wanted me to take violin lessons, but my paternal grandfather, with whom we lived, wasn’t very keen on the idea, saying that music was unnecessary and that it was a futile activity. My mother arranged for an Italian, Mr. Romano, and his daughter, who were living nearby, to give me violin lessons secretly. I studied my music at our porter, Ms. Eliza’s house, so as not to make my grandfather, who represented the patriarchal authority, suspicious. This went on for about nine months, until I learned and could fully play a song that my grandfather would like. Finally the important day came and I was able to play in my grandfather’s presence. Although he never expressed it openly, he must have appreciated it, since he never made any difficulties again.

One of the important memories of my childhood was the famous fire in Haydarpasha. In the summer of 1922 I was a nine-year-old child playing football with my friends. On the evening after the day I had bought myself a beautiful new football a very big fire broke out in our district. Shortly after, it spread all over the neighborhood with the impact of the wind. Everyone was trying to evacuate their houses, and with the help of the relatives who came to help, our belongings were carried from the balcony of our house to the garden and from there to the shore of Haydarpasha-Kadikoy. The only thing I had missed in the hurry of saving our belongings was my new beautiful football. ‘Kada uno mete la mano ande le ruele.’ [Ladino for ‘One puts his hand where he is hurt’] The fire continued the whole night, and we spent the night at the shore like everybody else. The following day, when we headed back home to determine the losses, we found out that our house was the only one that had remained intact in the whole street. We moved the furniture back and started to live there again.

I started my education in the elementary school of the Jewish community in Haydarpasha. Here boys and girls studied together, whereas the high schools I attended later were for boys only. Being a very good student I was able to skip certain classes. I attended elementary school for only three years [instead of five]. Thanks to the private French lessons with Ms. Ojeni Bivas, after taking a special examination I skipped certain classes and went directly to the 5th grade at Saint Louis High School [a French Catholic school in Haydarpasha] and studied three more years there. My favorite subject was algebra, but there wasn’t any lesson I specially disliked. After that, I finished my last three years of education in the commercial department of the Saint Joseph High School [a French Catholic College in Moda, a district on the Anatolian side of Istanbul] before I started earning my living. Here I was also a good student. I still keep my school report cards and certificates. I remember our teacher of philosophy, nick-named ‘the Philosopher’, who asked us to write a dissertation on the Industrial Revolution in England. I was the best in our class and was marked 16 over 20. I still remember his words, ‘this is the highest mark I’ve given to a student in my life,’ which showed how meticulous he was on the level of the studies. I like to nick-name my educational life as a ‘3+3+3 educational system,’ as I attended three classes at each level.

In February 1929 I attended the courses of the Millet Mektebi 11 to learn the new Turkish alphabet and received my certificate, which I still keep.

My bar-mitzva [bar mitzvah] took place in the Haydarpasha Hemdat Israel Synagogue on a Saturday morning. I presented a short speech, but I don’t remember its content now. Afterwards a reception was held at home. It was just a cocktail party to which only the family members and a few very close friends were invited. We didn’t have the custom of having a banquet or ceremony outside home in those days.

During the summer holidays, we either used to move to summer resorts like Buyukada or to Yakacik [a hill resort on the Anatolian shore] for the whole summer, or we went to the public beaches between Haydarpasha and Kadikoy to swim.

Friday as the Muslim holiday of the week was later replaced by Sunday [see Reforms in the Turkish Republic] 12. Naturally Saturday was a holiday for us Jews in any case. The custom was: after going to the synagogue on Saturday mornings, we visited our uncles and aunts in their homes. Aunt Rachel, Aunt Regine etc. We used to go either to the newly opened movie theater in the neighborhood next to the famous grocery shop Niko’s, where a Jewish lady, Ms. Abenkual, was also a partner, or to the movie theaters in Altiyol Bahariye [district not far from Haydarpasha]. I used to watch films like ‘La Porteuse de Pain’ [aka ‘The Bread Peddler’] and ‘Les Deux Gamines’ [French movie, lit. translation: ‘The Two Brats’] in those theaters. I don’t remember what they were about now; it was a long time ago. Besides the Jewish religious holidays, national holidays like the Day of the Republic 13 and Liberation Day of Istanbul 14 were celebrated with enthusiasm with the whole neighborhood.

I was a member of the Social Benevolence Association of Haydarpasha [Cercle Israelite de Haidar-Pacha, Israelite Circle of Haydarpasha] in my youth. From 1931 to 1936 I served as the president of the literature division of this association, ‘Cercle Litteraire,’ as we used to call it. About fifteen youngsters, both girls and boys, of an average age of seventeen attended this division. Amongst them were, as far as I can remember, Jozef Alkahe, Salomon Azarya, Albert Nassi, Robert Sarfati, Moris Barbut and my best friend, Anri Kaneti. Later Anri went to Morocco and established himself there. I met him once in Paris, but we didn’t have further contact. We used to gather in the Cercle’s locale twice a week, usually after 8pm, organizing conferences, debates, concerts, meetings and the like.

In Haydarpasha we had many Muslim, Greek and some Armenian neighbors. I don’t recall any anti-Semitic incident – neither in the neighborhood nor in school – I don’t recall even hearing anything to imply such a thing or any alienating feeling. On the contrary, in our association, there was one young Muslim man named Fahir Selami, whose father was my teacher of Turkish language, and one young Armenian man named Serkis Kalebciyan who could talk Judeo-Spanish much better than we did.

In the orchestra we founded, Elsa Angel played the piano, Fahir Selami and I played violin and Serkis Kalebciyan played the wind instruments. We also had a library that we youngsters were managing as well. I’ve kept the records and correspondences of this organization and I still have them today. Generally we went to the famous hotel of the time, the Belvu [Belle-vue; beautiful view in French] in Fenerbahce [Istanbul neighborhood on the Anatolian shore] to dance. Naturally, many love affairs blossomed during these gatherings. I also got to know my first wife, Elsa, in this organization.

The Elsa and Klara Angel sisters lived on Ferit Bey Street in Talimhane [a district near Taksim, on the European side of Istanbul]. Their house was just opposite the Turkish state school. Later the school was transferred somewhere else and the building started to be used as ‘Askerlik Subesi’ [Military Department]. In the thirties we used to rent motorcycles in the meadow at the end of the street and tour around the square ‘para azer hadras’ [an expression in Ladino meaning ‘in order to show off for the girls’].

Their father, Yaakov Angel, passed away when they were children, so they had been raised by their mother, Fortune Mazaltov Angel, and their maternal grandparents, the Kasavis [Cassavi]. Elia Kasavi, their maternal grandfather, was a money-changer and also the mukhtar [the elected head of a village or a neighborhood within a town or city] of Talimhane. A pious but liberal thinking man, he was married to Klara Salti and had two children: a daughter and a son. The daughter was Fortune Mazaltov, who had two daughters and had been widowed very young. Fortune Mazaltov was my mother-in-law twice: when I married Elsa and then, after her death, when I married Klara. Kasavi’s son, Rafael, was a veteran of World War I. He and his wife Rebecca had three children: Sara, Yaakov and Eli. Eli is today a member of the Communal Council of the Etz Hayim Synagogue in Ortakoy, a neighborhood of Istanbul.

Elsa and I got married on 30th June 1936 in the Kal Kadosh Galata [Zulfaris] Synagogue 15, which became The Museum of Turkish Jews in 2001. We spent our honeymoon in the Belvu Hotel in Fenerbahce. Then we moved into my mother-in-law’s house. We didn’t want her to live all alone. She had been widowed at an early age and was used to living together with her daughters Elsa and Klara. Three years later, just on the eve of World War II, we joined a ten-day cruise on the ‘Bessarabia’ to Romania, where we visited Bucharest and different sites.

I have two children from Elsa: my daughter Lina, born in 1943, and my son David, born in 1947. Lina was named after Grandmother Belina, as for David, he was named according to a dream Elsa had a short time before his birth. She saw a very old and wise man holding a baby in his arms and giving him to her saying, ‘This is your baby. You will name him David.’ As we lived all together in the house the children weren’t just our children, they were the ‘children of the house.’ Later we moved, all together, to Tepebashi, a residential district on the European side of Istanbul, near the Jewish neighborhood. Our apartment was named Jul Apartiman after its owner, Mr. Jules Blumenthal, a rich and famous trader, representative and producer in Turkey of Columbia and His Master’s Voice records. We had such wonderful days; however, very unfortunately, my wife Elsa died of cancer in 1949, in spite of all the efforts by the renowned physician Dr. Barbut.

I was a widower with two children. Although we lived together as a family I was feeling the absence of a wife very dearly. In 1951, my then-sister-in-law, Klara, and I decided to get married. Our wedding ceremony was very plain and simple. After kissing our mothers’ hands I went out with Klara to get married in the City Marriage Office with two witnesses we found there. After the wedding took place, we took the rabbi of the Kal de los Frankos Synagogue on Sahsuvar Street [founded by the Italian Sephardim, Comunita Israelitico-Italiana di Istanbul in 1886], who was also on duty at the Hemdat le Avram Synagogue in the summer months, and we went to Buyukada by boat. He performed our wedding ceremony under the hupa [chuppah], only in front of a minyan. We had our honeymoon for one week on Buyukada.

The same year Klara had a daughter whom we named Elsa, in memory of my late wife. Klara being a generous and selfless person raised all three kids together treating them completely equally. I’m so grateful to her.

For many years we rented a house in Fenerbahce with nearly two acres of garden with fruit-trees for the summer months. When I came back from work at about 5-6pm, together with my wife and the kids, we used to take the tomato-feta-cheese-olive sandwiches that Klara had prepared, rent a boat from the coast in front of the Todori Restaurant in Kalamis and row along the coast of Kalamis-Fenerbahce, and swim there. Today it is impossible for me to recognize the places we used to ride our bicycles around and have so much fun with sweet memories hidden in them; the panorama of those days has been changed so much that now I feel alienated.

I was enlisted for military service three times. First, in 1935, I completed the six-month service in Istanbul, partially in Harbiye headquarters as ‘yazici’ [secretary-clerk], partially in Haydarpasha in the ‘sihhiye’ [sanitary corps]. Then in 1940, I was called again and consigned to Bahceyis [a very small village near Catalca in Thrace, around 50 km from the center of Istanbul] together with three classes [men born in the years 1327-28-29 – hijri calendar, roughly speaking these years would correspond to the years 1912-1913-1914]. And, finally, again in 1941 with the well-known call for the 20 [military] classes 16; this time I was sent to Sivas and Erzincan [north-eastern Turkey].

In 1930 I started to work at G. Dielmann and Bill, a leading firm employing more than 40 persons, and acted as representative in Turkey of very well-known European manufacturers such as Krupp, Pirelli, Zeiss, Parker and others, as an assistant-accountant. How did I get that job? I had just graduated from the Saint Joseph College commercial section and was looking for work. My father talked about this to his close friend Mr. Kohen who was the chief accountant of that firm and who invited me to join the company. When the Income Tax Law was brought into force in 1950, I resigned and started my own bureau as a free accountant/financial adviser. I worked like that for nearly twenty years.

I cannot say that I suffered badly of the so-called Wealth Tax 17 I paid the 250 Liras assessed to me as a worker. I still keep the receipt. We also paid the 750 Liras for my mother-in-law, who was charged three times more for being a landowner. The figures might look small, but everyone has their own worth of money. ‘Kada uno a su boy’ [an expression in Ladino meaning, ‘everyone according to what he can afford’].

In 1957, I was invited to be a member of the honorary council for the Chief Rabbinate, and until 1983 I tried my best with my professional knowledge and experience to be useful to my community. I retired as vice-president in 1983. Essentially I had the associative experience of the communal work from earlier times. Long ago I was a member of the youth branch of the Bnai Brith Association. Later I worked for the management of many societies. In the meantime, from 1974-1976, I was elected president for the ‘Fakirleri Koruma Dernegi,’ ex-Bnai Brith [Charity Foundation to Protect the Needy].

I didn’t get any special religious education when I was little, meaning I didn’t attend Mahazike Torah or Sunday School [Mahaziketora] 18. I learned all the prayers, our creeds and traditions from my grandfather Ishak, who had educated generations, and from my father’s practices. I am well-connected to my religion and traditions; however, I never act dogmatically when it comes to practice. For me, the basis of religion, the essence of it, is its spiritual message to be given to the people. For me Leviticus and Deuteronomy [Two of the Five Books of Moses, the Torah] contain all the laws for contemporary human rights and values, and are the base of humanism itself. While until very recently I was regularly carrying out the tradition of limmud [prayer and ceremony held on the same date of funeral every Jewish year, like the yahrzeit in the Ashkenazi tradition] for the relatives who passed away, I now prefer to donate a certain amount of money instead to some charitable institutions in the name of the deceased. The only exception being the ceremony of reading my father’s name in the Ashkenazi synagogue on Rosh Ashana and Yom Kipur for the noon prayer, as I mentioned earlier.

Whether I have ever considered Aliyah, that is a question difficult to answer for a person who is responsible for his parents, widowed mother-in-law, wife, and who has kids on his shoulders. I leave the conclusion up to you.

My children left home, and the country, at an early age. Lina’s husband Moris Asseo went to France to finish his education in engineering and settled there with his wife. Later on, they moved to the U.S. and they still live there. My son David, after graduating from Saint Benoit High School here, acquired a scholarship from the Turkish–French Society and decided to continue his college education at a university in France. He went to Lyon, because according to the agreement between the two countries, scholarships were granted for schools in that city. After getting his degree in biochemistry he married Bronnie Davidovich, a Jewish girl of Polish roots he met at university, and settled in Paris. He still works at the CNRS [Centre National de la Recherche Scientifique, National Center of Scientific Research] as Research Manager of Laboratory. Elsa also studied psychology in France. Afterwards she returned home and married Vitali Franko, the son of a Jewish family in Istanbul, who was a student at INSA [Institut National des Sciences Appliquees, National Institute of Applied Sciences] also at Lyon, and then returned to France. Later they moved to the US and they still live there.

I now have six grandchildren, four of them living in the US and two of them in France, and four great-grandchildren. Camille and Christian Roy have two children: a daughter named Isabel and a son named Sebastian. As for Elsa and Paul Jacobson, their daughter’s name is Maya and their son’s Stephan. They are all living in the US. Although we can define the whole family as more traditional than religious, somehow one of my grandchildren in Paris ended up being very religious, conforming to all the laws of Judaism. My grandchildren are named as follows: the two granddaughters from Lina and Maurice are Camille, named after Maurice’s mother, and Elsa, named after Lina’s mother. From David I have two grandsons named Benjamin Eli, after me, and Mischa, after Bronnie’s father. And from Elsa, I have two grandsons named Alp [Albert], after Vitali’s father, and Eli, after me. So there are in the family two Elis to continue my name. It’s a Turkish-Sephardic tradition that the first boy or girl is named after his/her paternal grandfather or grandmother, the second after his/her maternal ones. Sometimes the name of a beloved in the family, who died young, is also given. Today names are often distorted to meet the Turkish spelling [Turkish names sounding similar to Jewish ones are chosen], for instance Alp for Albert, Izzet for Ishak, Hayati for Vitali, Inci for Perla, Suleyman or Selim for Salamon etc…

Unfortunately I don’t use the Internet to communicate with my children and grandchildren. For some reason I have been allergic to everything mechanical in my life. Luckily my wife Klara can manage to deal with the computer and manages our communication for both of us.

There are two days I really don’t give any value during a year: they are yesterday and tomorrow. The important thing for me is today, in fact the very moment of now. The past is already in the past and the future is a lot of unknowns. A characteristic feature of mine is that I try not to consider the negative aspects of events. Whatever happened, happened. Certainly I had hard times in my life, but when they ended, they had neither more value nor any importance for me any more. Because of this, I don’t find any value in recalling the social negativities and complaining about them over and over again; I have trouble understanding people who act this way.

I’m 92 years old now. When I look back I see all the sweet and bitter memories following each other. Being in a parallel wavelength of thought and philosophy of life with me, my wife Klara has been a great support to me in all my life, and she has relieved me in my social work. For the last few years, Klara and I have been trying, through the pen and the word, to make an effort for the preservation of Judeo-Spanish. My wife and I have been working hard to prevent the disappearance of Judeo-Spanish as a language of communication. We have published a dictionary – Judeo-Spanish – French/ French – Judeo-Spanish – in France. Also, every week, I have a column in the Judeo-Spanish page of the Shalom newspaper called ‘Huente.’

Thank God, I can still read, write, and try to be useful for the society as much as I can, trying to share my memories and experiences with them.

Glossary:

1 Zangwill, Israel (1864-1926)

English Jewish writer, dramatist and journalist as well as a prominent Zionist and political activist. His major literary works are ‘Children of the Ghetto’ (1892), ‘Dreamers of the Ghetto’ (1898), ‘Merely Mary Ann’ (1893), the ‘Melting Pot’ (1914), etc. His main political writings are ‘The Principle of Nationalities’ (1917) and ‘Chosen People’ (1918). He became the spokesman for the Anglo Jewry at the turn of the century and fought for the creation of a Jewish state as well as for women’s suffrage and pacifism.

2 Fez

Ottoman headgear. As a part of the Imperial Prescript of Gulhane (a westernizing campaign) of Sultan Mahmud II (1839-1876) the traditional Ottoman dressing code was abolished in 1839. The fez, resembling the hat of the Europeans at the time, was introduced and widely used by the Ottoman population, regardless of religious affiliation. In the Turkish Republic it was considered backward and outlawed in 1925 by the Head Law. In the Balkan countries the fez was regarded an Ottoman (Turkish) symbol and was dropped after gaining independence.

3 Kurdi

Long Turkish home gown, lined with fur.

4 Hilfsverein der Deutschen Juden

‘Relief Organization of German Jews’, founded in 1901 to improve the social and political conditions of the Jews in Eastern Europe and the Orient. In the Ottoman Empire it was also to counterbalance the domination of the French Alliance Israelite Universelle and to spearhead the formation of a network of German-language educational institutions around the Empire. Hilfsverein was officially dissolved in 1939 though it continued to work until 1941, and between 1933 and 1941 it assisted over 90.000 persons to emigrate to countries overseas with the exception of Palestine.

5 Forverts (Eng

Forward): Jewish newspaper published in New York. Founded in 1897, it remains the most popular Yiddish newspaper in the US and also has a loyal readership in other parts of the world. Its founders were linked to the Jewish workers’ movement with its roots in socialist-democratic circles. From 1903 to 1951 the editor-in-chief of Forverts was Abraham Cahan. During World War I circulation peaked at 200,000 copies. Following Cahan’s death circulation dropped to 80,000 copies, and in 1970 to 44,000. The editors that followed Cahan were Hillel Rogoff (1951-61), Lazar Fogelman (1962-68) and Morris Crystal. In addition to social and business news, Forverts also publishes excerpts of Jewish literature, and has an extensive cultural section. Forverts was initially a daily published in Yiddish only, but in 1990 was relaunched as a Yiddish-English bilingual weekly.

6 Sokolow, Nahum (1859-1936)

Polish-born Hebrew writer, journalist and linguist, a Zionist leader, general secretary of the Zionist Organization (1906-1909) and President of the World Zionist Organization (1931-1935). From 1873 he published articles in various Hebrew newspapers and wrote the ‘History of Zionism, 1600-1818’ (1919). He participated in the First Zionist Congress (Basel, 1897) and became one of Herzl’s great admirers. He translated his ‘Altneuland’ into Hebrew under the Title ‘Tel Aviv.’ With Chaim Weizmann he participated in London in the meetings that lead to the Balfour declaration and the British Palestinian Mandate. After WWI he headed the Jewish Delegation at the Paris Peace Conference. In 1929 he became the Chairman of the newly established Jewish Agency. He was elected President of the WZO in 1931. Declared Honorary President in 1935 he died in 1936. In 1956 his remains were re-interred on Mount Herzl in Jerusalem.

7 El Tiempo

Istanbul Judeo-Spanish weekly, founded in 1957 by Moshe Levi Belman. Apart from contributions by a handful of young amateur journalists, it was mainly Belman who wrote the entire paper. El Tiempo ceased to exist in 1959. It was more of a weekly community newsletter, covering community events and from time to time criticizing the communal organization on specific daily issues.

8 La Vera Luz

Istanbul Judeo-Spanish newspaper, founded by Ilyazer Menda on 5th February 1953 and issued weekly for almost twenty years, until 27th January 1972. It did not have a specific orientation. Like all other Judeo-Spanish publications, it reported on community events, Israel, and sometimes criticized community leaders and the community administration on their decisions or applications. Like all the other Jewish local newspapers, it was distributed to subscribers and sold in kiosks near Jewish neighborhoods, mainly in Istanbul with very few subscribers in Izmir and Ankara.

9 Shalom

Istanbul Jewish weekly, founded by Avram Leyon in 1948. During Leyon’s ownership, the paper was entirely in Ladino. Upon the death of its founder in 1985, the newspaper passed into the hands of the Jewish community owned company Gozlem Gazetecilik. It then started to be published in Turkish with one or two pages in Ladino. It is presently distributed to 4,000 subscribers.

10 Islamic Calendar

The only purely lunar calendar in use, it was officially used in the Ottoman Empire and the early years of the Turkish Republic up until the introduction of the Gregorian calendar on 26th December 1925. Its year varying from 354 to 355 days, the seasons and months have no connection, and there are about 33 years to every 32 Gregorian years. The first day in the Islamic calendar was 16th July 622 in the Gregorian calendar, Mohammed’s migration from Mecca to Medina (Hijra).

11 Millet Mektebi

Nation-wide course to teach the newly introduced Latin alphabet in Turkey, introduced in 1928 to replace the traditional Arabic script not fully appropriate for the phonetics of Turkish. Obligatory courses were organized throughout the country to teach adults (between 16 and 45) the new alphabet and writing system. The Millet Mektebi courses were closed down in 1936.

12 Reforms in the Turkish Republic

After the establishment of the Turkish Republic (29th October 1923) Kemal Ataturk and the new Turkish government engaged themselves in great modernization efforts. Fundamental political, social, legal, educational and cultural reforms were introduced in the 1920s and 30s in order to bring Turkish society closer to the West and shape the republican polity. Ataturk had abolished the Sultanate earlier (1922); in 1924 he did so with the Caliphate (religious leadership). He closed down the dervish lodges, the turbes (tombs of worshipped holy people) and forbade the wearing of traditional religious costumes outside ceremonies. According to the Hat Law the traditional Ottoman fes was outlawed; surnames were introduced and the traditional nicknames were outlawed too. International measurement (metric system) as well as the Gregorian calendar was introduced alongside female suffrage. The republic was created as a secular state; religion and state were divided: the Shariah (Islamic law) courts were abolished and a new secular court was introduced. A new educational law was created; the institutes of Turkish History Foundation and Language Research Foundation were opened as well as the University of Istanbul. In order to foster literacy the old Arabic scrip was replaced with Latin letters.

13 Turkish Independence Day

National Holiday in Turkey commemorating the foundation of the Turkish Republic on 29th October 1923. The annual celebrations include military parades, student parades, concerts, exhibitions and balls.

14 Liberation Day of Istanbul

to commemorate the liberation of Istanbul on 6th October 1922. Entente battleships occupied the city in October 1918 and only withdrew four years later. Liberation Day is annually celebrated with military and student parades as well as concerts and seminars.

15 The Zulfaris Synagogue/The Museum of Turkish Jews (www

muze500.com): This synagogue, recorded in the Chief Rabbinate archives as Kal Kadosh Galata, is commonly known as Zulfaris Synagogue. The word is derived from the former name of the street in which it is located: Zulf-u arus, which means Bride’s Long Lock. Today the street is called Perchemli Sokak which means Fringe Street. There is evidence that this synagogue already existed in 1671, when Haim Kamhi was Chief Rabbi, as the foundations date from the early 15th century Genovese period. However, the actual building was re-erected on its original foundation, presumably in the early 19th century. In the 1890s, repair work was carried out with the financial assistance of the Camondo family, and in 1904 restoration work was conducted by the Jewish community of Galata, presided over by Jak Bey de Leon.

16 The 20 military classes

In May 1941 non-Muslims aged 26-45 were called to military service. Some of them had just come back from their military service but were told to report for duty again. Great chaos occurred, as the Turkish officials took men from the streets and from their jobs and sent them to military camps. They were used in road building for a year and disbanded in July 1942.

17 Wealth Tax

Introduced in December 1942 by the Grand National Assembly in a desperate effort to resolve depressed economic conditions caused by wartime mobilization measures against a possible German influx to Turkey via the occupied Greece. It was administered in such a way to bear most heavily on urban merchants, many of who were Christians and Jews. Those who lacked the financial liquidity had to sell everything or declare bankruptcy and even work on government projects in order to pay their debts, in the process losing most or all of their properties. Those unable to pay were subjected to deportation to labor camps until their obligations were paid off.

18 Mahaziketora

Talmud Torah, Sunday school where Judaic religious education was given to Jewish children.

Feliks Nieznanowski

Feliks Nieznanowski
Warsaw
Poland
Interviewer: Joanna Fikus
Date of interview: November 2005

Mr. Feliks Nieznanowski is a retired officer. He comes from a poor family that lived in the Old Town in Warsaw. The home was moderately religious, yet all the high holidays were observed, Sabbath was celebrated, and, as a little boy named Fiszl, Mr. Nieznanowski used to go with his father to the synagogue. Mr. Nieznanowski remembers perfectly well the excitement of his bar mitzvah. He vividly recalls pre-war Jewish Warsaw where he often wandered with his friends. He went to a Jewish school at 34 Swietojerska Street that was under the official patronage of the Jewish Community of Warsaw (this is where the brushmaking shop was located where Marek Edelman fought during the ghetto uprising). Mr. Nieznanowski sang in the boy choir of the Great Synagogue at Tlomackie Street. He survived the war in the Soviet Union. We spoke in his apartment in downtown Warsaw. Mr. Nieznanowski has lived here for fifty-two years, and he remembers the time when the house was being built by German POWs.

My family history
Jewish poverty before the war
During the war
After the war
Life in communist Poland
Recent years

My family history

My father came from Wloszczowa [small town in central Poland, ca. 250 km south of Warsaw]. His name was Mychoel or Michal Nieznanowski. Poverty meant young people were eager to go to Warsaw. Father came to Warsaw as a young man and there he met my mother. I never met my paternal grandparents, I don’t even remember their names. Dad told me Grandfather was a merchant, took wares from the city to the country, was a traveling salesman. But I never visited Wloszczowa, never met them.

My grandparents’ children lived in Warsaw. You’d think it’s one city, a dozen streets, and yet we weren’t in touch [with my father’s siblings]. Where they lived, those were Jewish houses, streets like Sapiezynska, Franciszkanska; people had lived there for years, lived together, were born together, died together. We lived completely out of the way, though it was very close [on Podwale Street].

Most of my father’s relatives were poor people – shoemakers, hired laborers. I knew some of them. I knew an uncle, Benjumen, who was a coal provider. He carried baskets 50 kilograms heavy, had a special pole for that and used it to lug those baskets to the upper floors. He lived in Warsaw, at 16 Mila Street. A terrible drunkard. It was hard for me because my father often took me to Uncle’s. He worked hard and drank hard, and his kids were so skinny, uncared-for, such poverty. And my mother would never go there, it was beneath her dignity. There were such animosities at the time.

Another of my father’s brothers lived on Smocza. He had a shoemaker’s shop, I remember, in the basement. That was poverty. His name was Jankiel. I remember him – a young man, and there was a baby. Father often took me there.

There was one more uncle on Walowa Street. If you look at Muranowska, there was the Kercelak [pre-war Warsaw’s largest open-air market], which was for the Poles, and for the Jews there was the Walowka [open-air market at Muranowski Square in the Jewish quarter]. And he sold second-hand clothes there.

My father’s brothers were religious insofar that every Jew believed it was his duty to go to the synagogue to pray, that on a holiday, whether it was Sukkot or some other holiday, you had to participate in the service, but they weren’t Orthodox 1, like that they wore payes, dressed in black, prayed. They kept kosher as much as they could. It seems to me they were too poor to keep kosher all the time, but I can’t say that for sure. Officially, when we visited them, there was chulent, never any pork. On ordinary days you didn’t eat meat but bread, oatmeal, potatoes. Meat was eaten in Jewish homes only on Saturdays and on holidays. There could be goose lard, or you bought chicken giblets.

My mother was Hadasa Gutman from Przysucha [small town in central Poland, 30 km west of Radom]. There was a large family on my mother’s side, too: eleven children from Przysucha. They found themselves in Warsaw and their business was tanning, as that is what Jews did for a living in the Kielce region. I know that during World War I my mother’s brothers, the Gutmans, made leather belts and ammunition pouches for the military, for the Russian army, as well as horse harnesses. They made a lot of money that way.

I never met my [maternal] grandfather; he died when I was a child. He was a shoemaker in Przysucha. I even visited the workshop once when I went to Przysucha. Grandmother’s name was Rachele, or Ruchl. A petite woman, she wore a wig. Their children left Przysucha, came to Warsaw, and prospered quite well here. Hence there was the family disharmony – the Nieznanowskis were poor, and the Gutmans were richer. My mother’s eldest brother, Uncle Jojne Gutman, lived at 5 Gesia Street, I think he had as many as five rooms there. He was a really wealthy man. I remember the following episode – I came with my father and they didn’t let us into the rooms but received us in the kitchen, served a meal for us, the poor people, there. I always felt a sense of distance. There was no family idyll, as it is typical for Jews. My mother’s brothers were religious, observed the kashrut.

There was one more uncle, Dawid, a saddler. He had a saddler’s workshop, on 70 Dobra Street, corner of Tamka Street [in Warsaw]. When Grandmother Ruchl came from Przysucha to Warsaw, she stayed in Uncle Dawid’s apartment. A family gathering would then take place there, everyone came to visit Grandmother. I went there, too, and she’d lie in bed and treat us to figs and sweets. That’s it, I really don’t remember much. I didn’t even speak much Yiddish then. I learned to speak Yiddish fluently only when I was seven or eight. I spoke with Grandmother using a mixture of Polish and Yiddish. She spoke Polish. She died before the war, in the apartment at Dobra Street.

Uncle Samuel was a middleman, a business matchmaker, had no specific profession. There was also a younger brother, Benjumen, who, during the Great Depression 2, in the 1930s, immigrated to Belgium to work as a coal miner. He returned to Poland in 1938. He got married, they lived on Bugaj Street. A tragedy befell them when, during the air raids in [September] 1939, a shrapnel killed their baby virtually in their arms.

There was also Perla, my mother’s younger sister. She married a guy named Benjumen. He had a machine that weaved embroidered epaulets for the military I always admired it, the epaulettes were silver, golden. You could hear the machine clattering in the basement. They lived on Kupiecka Street, later known as Rabin Majzels Street, it was a pass-through house from Nalewki to Zamenhofa Street. The street is no longer there. [Following the 1943 uprising in the Warsaw ghetto, the Jewish quarter was razed to the ground by the Germans. The present street grid doesn’t correspond to the pre-war one]. My mother was close with her sister, she visited her often. They were close because of their similar social status. I also remember an aunt who lived in a small wooden house on Wolynska Street.

My father was born in Wloszczowa in 1886. My mother was six years younger than him, born 1892. Dad could read and write Russian. I don’t think he served in the Russian army. I remember no mention or photo to that effect. When he was growing up, they all saw there were no prospects of a better life there, so everyone was eager to move to Warsaw. In Warsaw, they hoped one would be helping the other, as befits a family. Poverty, misery was causing people to go to Warsaw those days. My mother worked in someone’s business, sold ice cream, cakes, in Warsaw, on Chmielna near Zelazna, it was called ‘Cakes and Ice-cream.’ It wasn’t a café, you bought and ate standing. I know from accounts that my father bought cakes there, and that’s how they met. I don’t know when precisely they married, but it was before 1909.

In 1909 my sister Pola was born. She went to the Jehudiya girls’ school [public gymnasium for Jewish girls at Dluga Street]. She was an excellent student. She fell in love with a boy from a very rich family. That family obviously forbade them to meet, and my sister tried to commit suicide. We had gas at home. She put that gas pipe into her mouth, swallowed a lot of it. She survived, but her brain had been irreversibly damaged. It was a family tragedy. She was put into the Jana Bozego hospital, at Sapiezynska Street, where the church stands [a mental institution]. I went there with my mother. The place was run by monks, at the back of the Jana Bozego church. There was a large room with beds, on those beds sat the patients. I remember they organized exhibitions of the patients’ works there – painting, wood sculpture.

Later, when there was no one to pay the bills for her, I come home one day – and she was back. She stayed with us. But there were no proper conditions at home to keep her. She wasn’t aggressive, rather catatonic. There was no contact with her at all, and we loved her very much. So after she had been brought back home, we made efforts and finally took her to Choroszcz. It is a small town near Bialystok [ca. 200 km south-east of Warsaw]. There was a mental facility there that took patients and placed them with wealthy peasants. They worked for them, and once a week the peasant was obliged to take the patient for an examination to the hospital.

My brother was born in 1911. His name was Josif, or Jozef. He completed a business school. He worked as a salesclerk at a Jewish textile store on Nalewki Street. And besides working there, he got increasingly involved in political activity, contracted the disease of communism. He joined the KZMP 3, the communist youth organization. He received several sentences before the war, and by 1939 had spent four years in prison. The uncles didn’t like that. It was that kind of family in which such things were unwelcome. They didn’t like the fact that he was a communist, was in jail, that we sent him food packages, fatback.

There was the so-called Swietojerski trial: a communist organization had been detected that had its headquarters at Swietojerska Street [hence the name]. My brother was a defendant in that trial. He received a six-year prison sentence. He was one of the leaders. When he was in prison, obviously we had frequent visits from the police, they came to search the apartment. I also remember we had visits from the MOPR 4, an international organization helping prisoners of conscience. They brought food packages and we sent those packages to the prison, it was allowed, the prosecutor would give us permission. I myself went to visit him with my mother once. There was a prison, a transfer facility, at Danilowiczowska Street. So before he was sent from Warsaw to Rawicz [major prison in western Poland, 40 km north of Wroclaw], I was actually allowed to see him with my mother.

I was the youngest, born in 1926. I lived my own life, the life of a boy, a teenager. Our family was tried severely by fate. Hence my childhood wasn’t like the other kids’. There was no emotional closeness, no everyday affection. My mother was an impulsive, go-ahead person, and my father was the one supposed to earn the daily bread, provide for the family, while my mother ran the house. There was the ill sister, there was the brother. Making ends meet was difficult. My father learned the craft of a gas worker. He worked for some time for the city gas works, but from the 1930s sackings of Jews began. Then he started working on his own.

There was gas lighting in Warsaw before the war, with the kind of glowing mesh; there were gas stoves. In a lamp, there’s this glowing element, there are small holes supplying the gas, and if you light it, the mesh glows and produces light. Dad went from home to home and [asked], ‘Do you need any repairs, a new mesh?’ He also repaired gas stoves. A door-to-door salesman, you could say, he usually worked the Jewish homes. He had a bag, all kinds of tools in it, nuts and bolts, and he carried it with him. One day he’d bring something home, another one he’d bring nothing. Which means it was a really measly existence.

Jewish poverty before the war

Before the Great Depression, I guess, my parents must have had some money because they paid for my sister’s and brother’s education. But then they became impoverished. I experienced the misery period, but when my sister and brother were studying, there had to be funds for that. There was a tradition in Jewish homes that first of all you had to educate your children. It needs to be said there were such ambitions but then there came impoverishment, stratification, Jewish families became numerous, with nothing to live on. I remember Jewish poverty very well – when you walked those streets [in the Jewish quarter], with no sewerage, everything flowing down the gutters. Crowds of children in the courtyards.

I myself seldom went to the Jewish quarter but in 1939 I found myself there because they were bombing the Old Town and we moved to Wolynska, that’s when I saw the extreme poverty. The girls went on the street as prostitutes, the boys as thieves. On Jewish streets, Zamenhofa, Nowolipki, Smocza, Krochmalna, there were diners, cheap eateries. You could come, eat for pennies. The girls were always cruising around those busy places. That was the underworld, the demimonde, shady Jewish misery. There was a song that went like, ‘It’s raining on Smocza Street, don’t buy cigarettes there because they’re wet with rain.’ I seldom went there, you never left your neighborhood in Warsaw those days. It wasn’t like today, that you board a streetcar and go. A streetcar cost 20 groszy! That was a lot of money.

We lived at 18 Podwale Street. Where the Kilinski monument stands today, that’s precisely where the 18 Podwale house stood. It was a Polish, Catholic neighborhood. There were also some Jews. There was a synagogue on Podwale, an Orthodox church, and a Catholic one, all on one street. Five of the tenants in our house were Jews – one had a shop selling coal, firewood, that sort of thing. Another had a dime store. They kept quarreling, and he pimped his daughters. One was a wheeler-dealer, a gigolo, the police kept canning him. In fact, there were few decent Jews there. Whereas on another street, Kapitulna, there lived a good friend of ours who was a glazier. A Jew with a long, white beard. But those were isolated cases. We had very good neighbors, friends, acquaintances among the Poles, the goyim.

A woman called Jadowska, for instance, cared for me because she didn’t have small children of her own. She’d always hug me, I was her boy. She’d really pamper me, she’d say to me, ‘Come, Felus [from Feliks], you’re such a poor little boy!’ She’d give me food, she was a close friend of my mother’s. Later she started bringing food to the ghetto wall, after my parents had been sent there, she learned about that. She made those soups and at an agreed hour they picked them up from her through a hole on Bonifraterska. We found her after the war, after I returned to Warsaw. She was an old lady, we wanted to take care of her, put her into a home, but she refused; she died in her apartment on Grzybowska. Her son was a policeman before the war, and, surprisingly, a friendly one, who always came to warn my brother: ‘Józiek,’ he’d say, ‘don’t sleep at home tonight, they’re coming for you!’ He stayed in England after the war, was afraid to go back to Poland.

Growing up

I remember the house on Podwale Street – the entrance was from the gateway, up the stairs. Such apartments were usually originally designed for the janitor. You walked down a long windowless corridor, and then there was a single room. It could have had 16-20 square meters. All life went on in that single room and a dark kitchen. When I brought the bean sprout from school to grow it, it never grew. There was another wall a meter from the window and there was never any sun in the apartment. When later they told me I had the English disease [rickets], I explained it to myself that it was obviously the result of the conditions in which we had grown up. But my sister was buxom, normal. I wasn’t very tall, and my brother had the English disease [too]. There was a coal stove, water outside, an outhouse, and I remember, they bathed me in a washtub. There was gas lighting.

As my parents lived all that time in the Polish quarter, they spoke fluent Polish. They had no Jewish accent. At home they spoke Yiddish between themselves and Polish to me. But they weren’t people for whom the idea of being Jewish, of Yiddishkeit, was an important one. The kashrut wasn’t observed. True, I remember that on Saturday there was always fish and candles. My father’s religiousness was authentic, not fanatical. Sure, he observed all the rules, he participated in the service, but there was no fanaticism. On Sabbath he always went to the synagogue and took me with him. There was food and drinks, and then they debated. My father always participated in this. Some subject would be proposed and then they would analyze, discuss it from various angles. It always went according to that model: first the questions, then the answers to those questions. I sat and listened to all that. You didn’t talk about politics in the synagogue, like you did on a walk in the Krasinski Gardens, but about various issues of religious nature. What happens if your wife is unfaithful to you, what happens if your wife doesn’t observe the kashrut, that sort of thing. I understood perfectly well what they talked about, what I didn’t understand was why they discussed it in such detail. After all, those were often purely theoretical deliberations.

I know you did shopping at Swietojerska Street, there was a covered market there, where the Industrial Design Institute building stands today. We went there, my mother bought giblets, goose stomachs and other stuff. I often accompanied her there. The Swietojerska markets resembled the Koszyki ones [major brick covered market at Koszykowa Street in downtown Warsaw]. There was a vegetable section, there were stalls selling poultry, fish. There was also a ritual slaughterhouse, where they ritually slaughtered the chicken right on the spot. That was quite an experience – you brought a live chicken and the shochet, praying, slaughtered it. The market wasn’t only Jewish but also Polish, a mixed one. My mother didn’t buy vegetables there, for vegetables we went to Mariensztat [a district in Warsaw]. The poor peasants from around Warsaw came there, stood behind long tables and traded whatever they had – cottage cheese, dairy products, vegetables.

For winter you bought potatoes. Before my mother bought the potatoes for winter, she took one potato each from ten different peasants and boiled each of those to see whether they were tender enough. Then she returned and the peasant brought a sack or two of potatoes right to your home and didn’t charge anything extra for that. Mother kept them in the cellar, as she did cabbage. Buns or marmalade for everyday use you bought in the local grocery.

Easter holidays, Pesach. The bustle had already begun, the preparations were under way. Mother was sweeping dust from all the corners, a general clean-up. Guys went around with cauldrons with hot water for scalding dishes, and my mother used that. There was only a single set of dishes because of that scalding [koshering, the everyday set could be used for Pesach]. And then the long-awaited Seder evening came. I remember it to this day. Firstly, I learned the Haggadah and answered the four questions that my father asked of me. It has stuck in my mind that an extra place would be set at the table and the door would be left slightly ajar. I’d ask, ‘Why?’ Because if it’s left open, Messiah will come. That was fun for a kid. There was matzah, and I remember I’d make an exchange with the boys – they’d give me bread, I’d give them matzah. Felek, bring us some matzah! When our neighbors celebrated Easter, I visited them, too. Pesach was an opportunity for family meetings. If for weeks people didn’t have time, didn’t meet each other, everyone busy taking care of their business, for Pesach they always paid each other visits.

Another holiday – Chanukkah. That was a really big event for me, the lighting of the candles. Besides, the volunteers from the community council would come and bring us all kinds of gifts – sweets, tangerines, oranges, various kinds of cakes. There were packages and there were also fruit baskets. I guess they visited all the Jewish schools with those gifts. I remember how there was more and more candles. Dad lighted them. Later I learned to sing and I sang songs by those candles. Father and I would play various games, we’d dreydelekh, we’d play spinning top. On each side of the top there was a different letter.

At Chanukkah there was also the tree. I remember as if it were today – you brought an evergreen tree from somewhere and decorated it. That was fun! You placed the tree, hung apples, candy on it. I went to visit my friends, there was a tree there, they came to visit me – ‘Look, Felek has a tree, too!’ There was no knowledge of tradition in all that, I learned only later what Chanukkah was all about, what it meant. But in the beginning it was – these guys profess this, those guys profess that. For a Jew, for instance, to go to a church and see the cross, is a horrible thing – the cross! For us, that didn’t matter. I mean, there was no cross at home, you burned the candles. There were two candlesticks and my mother always placed them on white tablecloth. But there was nothing to emphasize that it was a Jewish home, like in some places where you saw all those paintings of old Jews on the walls, the kind of family portraits. There was nothing of the sort.

Then I remember Purim, the shows. That was a major experience, as even my mother helped me prepare some costumes, decorations, and there were Purim shows at school. There was an orphanage at Sapiezynska Street, and our school had it for its partner. We went with a musical show there, to that orphanage.

I remember Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Father would reserve seats in the synagogue for himself and my mother, and we’d participate in the service. Usually the seats weren’t numbered, but on feast days everyone had their seat and I participated in this. I remember as if it was today, it was 14 Dluga Street. At the corner of Kilinskiego and Dluga was the Rena movie theater, and on the other side the Mucha theater, and there stood the synagogue. It was a great experience for me – the singing, the shofar playing, the chest beating.

I didn’t really understand everything, but later, when I went to school, I understood that what really united all Jews was those two days. They are crucial. Because the other festivals, they are kind of remembrance stories, whereas here it was a direct experience. I didn’t understand where I had sinned, what my sins were, but I saw how strong an experience it was for others, the self-flagellation, extreme self-criticism. Father fasted on Yom Kippur, spent the whole day in synagogue. And when I was still a little boy, I remember Father would put a few cookies into his pocket, I’d stand in the synagogue, take out a cookie and eat it. It was a genuine fast for the whole day, there was no question of eating anything.

There were no sukkot in our courtyard. They wouldn’t put one in Podwale for sure because it wouldn’t have survived – the gamins threw stones, cats etc. We went to Wolynska Street, where Aunt lived, and to Kupiecka Street for that. A sukkah was built there, but we didn’t go there each day because it’s quite a long way from Kozla to Wolynska. But I remember we also went to other places for Sukkot. That was also an experience for me. I thought, ‘Why do they make those shelters with planks, with boards, and the roof is covered with branches and leaves?’ The sun shone through, and if it rained, the rain trickled on your head. Later I found out what it was all about. I remember, I was moved because the boys, the gamins threw stones, made fun of it. That wasn’t anti-Semitism as such but only a desire to deride, to gibe.

There was no profound, traditional celebrating of the holidays, typical for small towns, for people who went to the cheder, the yeshivah. It was a middle-class, urban audience, not always educated, but open-minded. It identified with its Jewishness, but didn’t emphasize it with either looks, behavior, or accent. That’s why everyone later always wondered, ‘Your Polish somehow sounds so normal?’ It sounded so because I lived in that community. I only felt Jewish after I crossed Franciszkanska, Nalewki, Nowiniarska. But when I walked down Podwale, around the Old Town – no, that Jewishness wasn’t so laid out into the open.

Dad was apolitical. He’d always ask himself: ‘Is it good for Jews or is it bad for Jews?’ It wasn’t important for him whether it was these guys or those guys. He knew that if something wasn’t good for Jews, then no way. He never joined any political party, but he liked to speak out. Well, a national trait. He liked to discuss politics, and I kind of caught the bug from him. There was a path in the Krasinski Gardens where Jews gathered and deliberated over global politics. There were like twenty parties there and they argued. Something like Hyde Park, but more interesting to look at. And father took me there. I saw that every each one of them, whether he knew or he didn’t, one had read something, the other had heard something, another had just been released from prison and found out, and all those bits of wisdom cumulated in that pathway in the Krasinski Gardens. To this day when I’m walking there I remember it as if it was today. It leads from the Krasinski Palace, diagonally, on the left side, a drinking pump stands on it. It’s there.

My father read the Haint 5. He also read the Bund newspaper Folkszeitung 6. He politicized – on the global situation, the Bolsheviks’ role 7, America’s role. He didn’t think about leaving Poland. There was a Keren Kayemet 8 box at home. It was sealed. An official came, opened it, took the money out, and sealed it again. He wrote on a piece of paper how much money he took.

A cousin from my mother’s side came to us from Przysucha, I don’t remember his name. He was staying with us and said I was growing up like an antichrist [sic] – neither was I being raised like a Jew, nor did I know anything. I was running with the boys both to the synagogue and to the church. You went to the church because the priest could give you something, an apple or a cake. You know, just like kids who have nothing to do. You didn’t go to the mass but only to visit. And so they started turning me into a Jew by force. The cousin convinced my parents and gave them money to pay for a rabbi to come everyday and teach me – alef, bet, gimel, and so on [Editor’s note: most likely a melamed came, not a rabbi]. He gave me assignments. And if I failed to do the homework, he slapped me on the hands with a ruler or the pencil case. He was an authority figure.

My parents certainly didn’t pay for this, as they wouldn’t have been able to afford it. They gradually started turning me into a Jew. Fortunately, I was circumcised, that’s what was left of my Jewishness. I spoke Polish with my parents. I understood Yiddish but couldn’t speak it. I was familiar with it. I heard my father speak it in various situations, like during the Krasinski Gardens debates. You rubbed against it, whether you wanted it or not. But it wasn’t a language I spoke every day.

I went to school when I was seven. I went to elementary school, it was a school operated by the Jewish Community of Warsaw. My parents fixed it so that I found myself there. There were several such schools in Warsaw, run by the Jewish Community. I don’t know where the others were, though. It was supervised by the municipal school inspector, but also by the Jewish community. There were also other schools, private ones. I should have gone to a Polish elementary school at 1 Podwale Street. That was school number 1, it was my district. But they decided I’d go to a Jewish school. It wasn’t a coeducational school, there were only boys, I remember. The curriculum was the same as in a Polish school, but also Yiddish, later Hebrew, then we started studying Rashi 9, the Tannakh, and slowly, slowly, I was deepening my knowledge about things Jewish, becoming a Jew.

I remember that in the beginning they saw me off to Swietojerska Street, and later I walked myself, it was close. My mother escorted me when I was in the first and second grades, and later I had already grown into an urchin, a smart boy, so there was no need to escort me. School was free of charge. That was an advantage, that they didn’t have to pay for me. At school I never talked about my brother, that would have been inappropriate, such things were unwelcome. Neither about my sister. Home was taboo, a private matter. It was our family’s tragedy.

I remember neither the headmaster’s [nor my] home-room teacher’s name. There were seven grades. The school was in the third courtyard. There were three courtyards [at Swietojerska 34], and the school occupied an entire floor. The windows faced the junction of Walowa and Swietojerska. That’s where the brushmakers’ shops 10 stood during the war. They searched for the Ringelblum archive 11 there, but found nothing. The Chinese embassy stands there today.

The school was on the third floor. A typical class had twenty-odd to thirty students. It suddenly became terribly important to me, and I was impressed, because every student had to have a satin uniform and a white collar. You had to adapt and I was sort of uncouth, coarse, and suddenly I found myself inside that school rhythm of things. But I liked it. I was terribly determined to present myself favorably to the teachers. They didn’t have to drive me to study. I did my homework so eagerly. Gradually they came to like me, told the other kids, ‘Look at Felek, he doesn’t have the conditions you have, you live in luxury, and yet you refuse to study, follow his example!’ And because of that poverty, that misery, I started understanding things. All the students were Jewish, and they came from various backgrounds. I remember that every day we were given milk and a bun with marmalade. Every student got that. And the boys from the more well-off families brought sandwiches and shared with others. I was a good student so they’d invite me home to do homework together. There was always something to eat there, those were Jewish homes, well-off – something I never had at home.

The school wasn’t just about going through the basic curriculum. The curriculum was rather packed. Besides the usual subjects, there were also the Jewish courses to go through, and they were treated as seriously as the others. So there was quite a lot of tension, a lot of homework to do. And, I remember it very well, the teachers were rather ambitious and were determined not to leave anyone behind. There were all kinds of jokes, and yet we disciplined each other. At the music lesson, we liked to make fun – the teacher came, played the violin… You know, like kids.

But how much that school gave us besides the formal education – it broadened our horizons! We visited the Belvedere [Belvedere Palace in Warsaw, official residence of Marshal Jozef Pilsudski until his death in 1935], the Royal Castle, which we saw like five times, the Okecie airport – they took us to all the important places by bus, by streetcar. The whole class went under the teacher’s direction. It seems to me that school gave me much more than just the formal education, it introduced us to the world at large. They took us to the technical workshops, showed how young people studied there.

It was mine and my parents’ dream that upon completing elementary school I’d go to a vocational school to learn the trade of a metal worker, a turner, or something like that. That would have been the greatest distinction [achievement]. I must say the teachers had a dialogue with the pupils. There was no drill like, ‘You must obey and either you recognize my authority, or it’s goodbye.’ The atmosphere was friendly. I remember inspections from the Jewish Community and from the municipal board of education, because the school must have been financed by both. And they were always satisfied with what they saw.

The school educated Polish-Jewish patriots. Polish Jews. There were no divisions like that you are Hashomer Hatzair 12, and you are something else. We spoke Polish and Yiddish at school. But mostly Polish. The lessons were also in Polish – math, physics, geography. And if it was a Jewish subject, then you spoke Yiddish. It wasn’t a talmudic school, there was no memorizing. On Saturday and Sunday there was no school. They said it was a goy school, because there were no Chassids there, no Orthodox students.

There was a music teacher at school, Ajzensztadt 13. He was the father of Marysia Ajzensztadt, the nightingale of the Warsaw ghetto. A robust man, six feet tall, with a bit of a gut, he sported a small beard. Dignified. He wore a black hat, but otherwise dressed secularly. He was the conductor of the synagogue choir and was always on the lookout for talented boys, also from other schools. He probably also taught at other schools. I don’t know where he lived, that was too high society for me. He was nervous, he conducted passionately. Had assistants in the choir, but for synagogue service he conducted himself. He was respected, the second most important person after the chazzan.

It was a stroke of luck – your voice usually cracks at this age – that I was chosen to sing in the synagogue choir. I remember they bought me a uniform of sorts – either the community or the synagogue. It was a great honor that someone like me sings in the choir, where Kusewicki 14 sings, the famous one, and look, our Felek, our Fiszl, also sings in it! I remember vividly how they came to the synagogue by limousine, by car, by carriage, I said, ‘Damn, it’s Saturday, a holiday, and here they are in a car!’ Well, yes, but it was his chauffeur driving, not him. The great bankers, industrialists, each had his private seat in the synagogue, their uniformed coachmen.

That was a very outstanding episode in my life. But the most interesting thing was that when the production started of The Dibbuk 15, the movie according to An-ski 16, the Ajzensztadt choir was asked to perform in it. I saw the film once, couldn’t see myself, but I was there! I even remember what I sang there – Shir ha-shirim, the Song of Songs! In the synagogue, there was a gallery, the gods like in the church where the pipe organ is located. We stood there, you went up the stairs from the back. We only sang on Saturdays and the high holidays, not every day. The rehearsals took place at the back, where the ZIH 17 is located today. There was a press club 18 there, and the rehearsals took place in a room. I sang there for a year and a half perhaps, from 1937/1938 to 1939. That was in the final grade, and the whole thing raised my position, that honor, despite all those misfortunes.

There was also this geography and chemistry teacher, she lived on Panska Street, her name was Gienia [from Genowefa], I don’t remember her last name. She’d take me home and I’d help her review the younger grades’ notebooks. How great a distinction it was for me! She took me, a student, to her home, and I browsed through the notebooks and she gave the marks! She was making me proud. Whereas I never saw any interest from school in the students’ family situation. There was a situation once where some teacher took me by the ear and half-tore it. I remember, my mother came to school and made a great fuss about how it was possible, to half-tear a child’s ear?! But the whole thing settled down quickly.

There were always celebrations at school of the traditional holidays and anniversaries. There were celebrations on the 11th of November 19, on Marshal Pilsudski’s 20 birthday, all that you had in a normal school, plus Jewish holidays. Lag Ba’omer, excursions in the summer. We went for excursions to Wawer [summer resort near Warsaw], to the woods, to Otwock [summer resort near Warsaw]. A narrow-gauge train went there, and we’d go on that train to Otwock with a teacher who taught natural science. The natural science course included things such as practical topography, the art of recognizing trees, leaf collecting, and so on. I had, I remember, a very nice collection of leaves in a large album, the herbarium. Dried.

To play truant we went to the Krasinski Gardens. 34 Swietojerska Street was opposite the park, so we often fled from school to the park. We played, gradually started talking with the girls. Krasiniak [Krasinski Gardens] was a community of the Jewish youth. You know how young people are – we liked to make excursions to the Krasinski Gardens, it was the closest place. There were no sanctions for truancy. We went there for the day’s last lesson, or if a teacher had called in sick. I had many friends – Heniek, for instance, lived at 14 Nowiniarska Street, near the Forum movie theatre. Heniek’s was a wealthy home – nice furniture, the table always set, cookies, sweets on the table. It was a different home than mine. I also had girl friends – I remember Rozia from the Old Town, her father had a siphon bottle-filling business.

I was nine or ten years old when I became interested in Hashomer Hatzair, but my family didn’t like it, because they didn’t like me coming home late. Why Hashomer Hatzair? Because it offered a lot of fun. There were various sections – for the adolescents, for schoolchildren. But no politicking. The purpose was to shape people. I knew a few girls who were members, they persuaded me to go. Those were girls I knew from the Krasinski Gardens. There were age groups, I was in the youngest one. They hinted it was about educating the future elites, that there’d be a Jewish state. We knew about it from history.

There were instructors. First some casual-style lecturing, then we’d play. It was like scouting. Excursions were organized, things that young people find impressive. For instance, swimming lessons. There were covered swimming pools on the Vistula with wooden floors, designed so that the water gradually got deeper and deeper. Those were commercial, private-owned swimming pools – Polish, Jewish. Cafes with tables on jetties, water in between. They took us there, and I learned to swim. The Vistula itself was dangerous, unregulated. That was under the auspices of Maccabi 21.

My family poverty didn’t prevent me from becoming more and more deeply involved. Even if any membership fees were charged [by Hashomer Hatzair], they were minimal. I wouldn’t have had the money to pay. Instructors came, elder people, already trained. It was them who took us to the kibbutzim in Grochow [part of right-bank Warsaw], showed us: ‘Look, those are the people who’ll be building the state!’ There were kibbutzim in the Goclaw area, on Grochowska Street. We went there to meet young people preparing for aliyah to Israel [then Palestine]. I remember as if it was today. They had milking cows there, cultivated the land, grew vegetables. There were houses, dormitories, in which young people lived – not only from Warsaw, I guess, but from all kinds of places. They lived in military barracks-like conditions. The land must have been leased, and they cultivated it. They sold the produce and that’s how they earned their living. The main idea was for them to learn, to prepare Jews for working as farmers. They had instructors and they were being trained to become conscious farmers. I remember, when we came, they laid various kinds of fruit out on tables – their produce.  It was their pride, that they had grown it all themselves.

Jewish football teams – Maccabi, Ha-Poel 22 – often played on the Polonia [leading Warsaw sports club] stadium at Konwiktorska Street, either against themselves or against Polish teams. Polish and Jewish fans would always fight. You actually went there with the thought that there’d be a fight. We were the aggressive ones. We’d force our way to the field through a hole in the fence, and one time I got through and suddenly a policeman hit me with a club on the back! I came home, my back was all black. Mother applied compresses, moaned, ‘And why did you go there, why do you go there at all?’

We played war, we played tipcat. It’s a game – you have a piece of wood, pointed at the ends. You hold a long stick, like a bat. You throw the piece of wood and strike it with the bat, and it flies. There are goals, and the closer it gets to the goal, the better. There are two teams, it’s a bit like cricket. On Broni Square, where there was later a bus depot and a circus called the Barrel of Fun, we played rag-ball football. Such were our games. Earlier, I had a stove lid on a rod and ran with it, rolling the lid in front of me. In winter time, we made ourselves a sled with the other boys – two planks nailed down together, and when you went sledding head on down the slope at Mostowa Street, you got right to the Vistula bank! My dream was to have a bike. I never had one. There were velodromes [cycling tracks] in Jewish courtyards before the war. I saw kids ice-skating, but roller skates – that I never saw during my childhood.

I played with both Jewish and Polish kids. There was no division on Podwale. Problems would only arise if a stranger entered our turf. The neighborhoods had a strong sense of territorialism. But it wasn’t like, ‘Look, a Jew, let’s give him a beating!’ He was a friend, a homeboy. Parents didn’t react either that, ‘Oh, this Felek is a Jew but goes to the church for fun.’

There was an Orthodox church on Podwale. I lived 18 Podwale, and opposite, at 17 Podwale, near the palace, stood that church. I liked to go there because they sang nicely. At the corner of Podwale and Kapitulna streets was a restaurant, officers, merry, arrived with girls in hackneys.

I went to the movies, there was a cinema on Dluga Street, it cost 25 groszy. You raised the funds by selling bottles you collected in the gateways – and you went to the movies. You often sneaked in for free if the usher wasn’t looking. And when you were inside, you could sit there for hours because the movies played one after another. I loved to watch them, film fascinated me. I remember I was watching a movie called ‘In the Year 2000’ [USA, 1912, directed by Alice Guy], and there people fly like angels. And I thought, ‘God, will I ever live to see the year 2000?’ And when it came, I remembered that moment – I dreamed about it and I’ve lived to see it! They fly! Helicopters, they fly into space, and for me it was something unimaginable! There was Tarzan [‘Tarzan and His Mate,’ USA, 1934, directed by Cedric Gibbons and Jack Conway].

There were ship cruises to Mlociny [Warsaw suburb, popular Sunday picnic destination before the war]. It often happened we sneaked in on board and got as far as Mlociny, and from there, by the streetcar number 15, from Bielany, back to town. I was a terrible urchin! That’s how I lived. I had no sense of fear, of being afraid of anything. I felt my blood boiling when the Germans entered and I saw what they were doing, how they were catching the Jew, cutting his beard off with scissors, how the Jew jumped from the Kierbedzia bridge into the Vistula.

When Pilsudski died [in 1935], I saw him six times [on the catafalque in the St. John Cathedral in the Old Town] before a queue had accumulated, as it was close to home. Before Poland found out, I was already making the turn, as you went around the catafalque there. All kinds of events, if something was happening on Pilsudskiego Square, I was immediately there, say, a military band marching. I knew all the Legion 23 songs in Polish. There were also Yiddish songs they sang on the street, and I’d catch hold of them, too. Or the so-called courtyard artists came, they also sang in Yiddish. But they seldom came to us because it wasn’t a Jewish neighborhood.

The Vistula was a navigable river, all kinds of goods were rafted down the river on barges, from Cracow, through Warsaw, to Gdansk. In the fall, they brought apples and other farming produce from the south of Poland. Those barges would moor to the shore, Jews would come to trade, and you could buy apples, grain cheaply. The barges were called ‘galars.’ Life teemed on Powisle, Rymarska, Mariensztat, it was the poor neighborhood inhabited by Jews. The Vistula was nearby, you went to pick chestnuts to the Citadel [large military facility just north of Old Town/New Town, built by the Russians as symbol of their rule following the failed January Uprising of 1863], that was my neighborhood. I remember how the guards once caught me picking the chestnuts. Entry was forbidden, it was a military area. And we went there in a large bunch, all homeboys from the Old Town. We got a good whipping and then you had to broom the place. They gave us brushes, brooms. How did you get in here?!

We, the Old Town kids, also had our own garden plots. Mrs. Moscicka, the First Lady, allotted some land at Bugaj Street near the Vistula, and every child got a plot two meters by one. You seeded flowers there, bluebottles, that sort of thing. I remember, she’d come with a servant, he carried a basket with candy, all kinds of sweets. Handed it out to the children, you kissed her on the hand, the moment has stuck in my mind. She was accompanied by no bodyguards, as would be typical these days, she came just like that, it was just a short stroll to go down from the Castle to Bugaj. Or, I remember, they placed in the Old Town – a Christmas tree! How great fun! That was my childhood.

I never went anywhere with my parents, except to visit some relatives. Nor did we ever go out of town. There was no money. I once went with my brother to Przysucha, that must have been before 1935. There I saw a Jewish town – the market square, the small houses, a shtetl. And a church. Then Grandmother took us to the priest, we were allowed to go to the orchard, pick some fruit. But later that was a highly anti-Semitic area, the worst pogroms took place there 24. But before the war it was very, very poor.

I remember Grandmother’s house. There was a sewer besides, a gutter, it smelled. And low, two-story wooden huts. She lived in one like that. I also remember there was a bakery nearby and you could smell the aroma of freshly baked bread and buns. Grandfather’s shoemaking workshop was there. All the Gutmans [Mr. Nieznanowski’s distaff-side relatives] came from Przysucha. She lived there, but the workshop was no longer there. They all knew each other. When Grandma walked with me down the street, she was proud she had a grandson like that, from Warsaw. She dressed the traditional way. Everyone greeted her, ‘Hello, how are you,’ very polite.

What has also stuck in my mind is that there was that bench, and on it sat people. So I ask, ‘Who are those people, why do they sit on this bench?’ Because, they tell me, they have been punished, have been sentenced for various petty offences to sit on this bench for three hours a day, and for everyone to know they’ve done something bad. It was a form of punishment. To this day I remember that bench on the market square in Przysucha. It was for petty offences – someone has stolen an egg, someone else has snatched a pale from the fence. It was surely the town council that dealt out the sentences. A dunce’s bench of sorts. [Editor’s note: there remains to this day in the wall of the Przysucha synagogue a ‘marten,’ i.e. a metal hoop on a chain into which an offender was clenched for a period of time by order of the kahal court as object of ridicule. The bench, in turn, was a popular punishment for petty offences in rural Poland. Perhaps Mr. Nieznanowski combined the two facts. The existence of a ‘dunce’s bench’ in Przysucha has not been confirmed.]

Grandmother had to speak to me Yiddish then. But she knew Polish, too. Those were mixed communities, and Jews in those towns knew Polish. They had an accent but spoke Polish. Grandmother, though religious, was a cultivated person. She never alienated herself, never backbit her neighbors. The relations were different. The antagonisms were later artificially fuelled, especially through envy, that Jews have it better, that they sponge on us, and, worst of all, that they have murdered Christ. That was poisoning thoughts and minds. Everything is alright, they are okay, but they are the Christ murderers.

We knew that stores were being demolished, but not in our area 25. That Jewish stores were being attacked, that there had been a pogrom in Przytyk – that we knew, that was being talked about. I was already a smart-aleck, I remember, I said, ‘But on Miodowa they didn’t touch a single Jewish store!’ And on Miodowa Street was one fur store after another. The most expensive fur stores. The police always stood there, nothing could happen. But a poor shop, a nickel-and-dime, a shoemaker, that they’d attack, throw stones. Only we didn’t really feel it because we had no business of our own, and among the residents such things didn’t happen. I’d actually say there was no barrier at all.

In 1937 we moved to 11 Kozla Street, which was close to Franciszkanska Street, and that was the ghetto border. There everything was pulling me more and more deeply into Jewishness, I had it close to school. My parents had decided to move because the Podwale place was too expensive. They couldn’t afford it. They searched, searched, and found the Kozla place. The house, its old part, has survived. I go there often. They found one room, no kitchen, on the first floor. A kitchen was set up behind a curtain, and there only lived the three of us in that room, as my brother was in jail, my sister in Choroszcz, in the hospital. When my brother wasn’t in jail, he lived with us, he didn't start a family.

As I approached the age of 13 [in 1939], preparations started for my bar mitzvah. I remember, they wrote me the – it’s called the drush, a speech, I was supposed to deliver it. The ceremony took place in the synagogue on Nalewki, I guess it was 24 Nalewki Street. It was a large synagogue. Our synagogue was at 24 or 28 Podwale Street, but my bar mitzvah took place at the Nalewki one. They gave me the tefilin, everything. You had to prepare a drush, a speech. A rabbi came, sent by someone, I guess, to prepare me. He gave me the theses, and I was supposed to write an essay about them. A 20-minute speech. He suggested corrections. It was like writing an essay at school. A major experience, and the worst thing was that I was supposed to make the speech in public. I had performed in school bands, in front of children, but to be in the synagogue, in front of an audience of a hundred or more, to stand on the bimah where they’ll be reading the Torah and then I am to deliver a speech – that was inconceivable!

I long tried to persuade my father that I’d make the speech ten times at home, but not there! Until the last moment. But they just kept explaining to me ‘Look, it will be the greatest honor of all!’ And so I had the drush. Such great satisfaction! So many paeans, praises! It wasn’t the kind of bar mitzvah you’re likely to see today, 200-300 people, gifts and all, no! It was a purely religious, ideological ceremony to indicate that a boy has grown up enough to be a man. Something in this spirit.

I delivered the drush in Hebrew, very clearly, with proper articulation. I felt very important then, as if I was the chazzan. I felt like one! When they also read Torah fragments to me, it was… And the second part, the merriest one – though we were poor – but when I returned home, the table was all set and all uncles had gathered, both from my mother’s and my father’s sides, with wives, kids. I don’t know, perhaps 15 people, that was a lot those days. I repeated the drush, I had it written on a piece of paper, kept it as a holy relic at home. Did Mom prepare a party! There was lokshen with yoych [noodles with chicken soup], then fish, and then the sweets. It was an event of great rank and great importance, they were saying everywhere, ‘Oh, this Fiszl, this Felek will grow up to be a goen [Yiddish for ‘genius’].’ The uncles had acquired another Jew! It hadn’t been clear what he would grow up to be, and look, he has grown up to be a Jew! Already an educated one, Hebrew-speaking.

Before the war I attended perhaps two funerals. It must have been some relatives. I remember us walking to the cemetery at Gesia. Members of my family were buried at Gesia, at the Praga one it was mostly Jews from Praga, poor ones, and our cemetery was there 26. Whose funeral was it? I can’t recall. I only remember everything was clad in black. I remember the crying, there were special weepers that you hired for such occasions. Later, in the cemetery, I asked questions, and they told me – that you bury the person in a shroud, that there is an ablution, the washing of the body, the ritual, but I didn’t see that directly. It never happened in the family, close. I asked why do you place them facing the east. I had such thoughts. But those are only episodes in my mind. I remember that, after some relative had died and we were in their home, everyone sat with their shoes off. You sat [shivah] for seven days. But when you are 10-11 years old, you pay little attention to such things. What has stuck in my mind instead are the merry things, the pleasant memories.

During the war

On 1st September 1939 27, when the Germans started bombing Warsaw, my first thought was, ‘Hey, I’m not going to school today!’ I should have been starting seventh grade. I walked there two days later, one of the wings had been bombed, and there was no school anymore. I never turned up at Swietojerska again. We lost touch also with the rest of the family, except for spending some time on Wolynska at my maternal aunt’s, I don’t remember her name, she lived in a wooden house. Wolynska was all wooden houses. Two-story wooden houses.

When the war broke out, my brother was in jail, in Kalisz [town ca. 200 km south-west of Warsaw]. They already knew air raids had started, and the guards fled, leaving all documents laid out in the open on the central courtyard. The criminal prisoners started forcing the bars open. When they broke out in one place, they started freeing each other. And they freed themselves. The first thing they did was to pour gasoline on those documents and set them on fire, lest the Germans find them. And the flight from Kalisz began. We didn’t knew what was happening to Josif. Three days after the Germans marched into Warsaw – which was around 30th September [the Germans indeed marched into Warsaw on 30th September, 1939, and on 1st October a military parade was held on the city’s central square, the Pilsudskiego Square] – there was a night curfew, suddenly there’s knocking on the window! We open the door – my brother walks in! Unshaven, scrawny, hands in bandages. As if he had been resurrected from the dead.

We found out they had been negotiating their way towards Warsaw during the whole of September but as long as the Germans stood around the city, they couldn’t enter. On their way, the fugitives split into groups. The criminals did well, and the political ones – everyone pulled in their own direction. There were many Ukrainians, Belarusians, and many Jews – from Lodz, from Warsaw. One day they were surrounded, was it the Poles who had denounced them? They hid in a cabbage field. The Germans picked them out, started interrogating them. Handcuffed them. But they escaped again, it was the front, they weren’t guarded closely. He worked his way, in those handcuffs, to some village, to a blacksmith, who unchained the handcuffs. But they had left bruises on his wrists, hence the bandages. It seemed the danger was over.

After the Germans entered, I traded a little – sold flowers, Germans newspapers, worked as a paperboy. In February 1940 they started catching people to send to Germany to forced labor. The ghetto hadn’t been set up yet, it was organized only in the fall 28. But already you had to wear the badge [cf. Armband 29]. My brother was walking down the street, they caught him. Those caught on the street worked in the Sejm [parliament], loading documents onto trucks for transport to Berlin. A German came up and says, ‘You ‘Jude’ [German for Jew]! You were there, in that and that place [the Kalisz prison]!’ And my brother says, ‘Why, I’ve never been there!’ He told him to roll up his sleeves. My brother had no ID, nothing. Only some piece of paper. The German tells him, ‘I know where you live! Tomorrow at 11am you are to report at Aleja Szucha [Gestapo HQ].’ And he let him go.

And so the decision was made – we must flee immediately! There was no time to look back. We knew people were fleeing east 30, through Malkinia [town some 100 km north-east of Warsaw, between 1939 and 1941 the German-Russian border passed through there]. We discussed it and my parents decided to stay. ‘No, we were born here and here we’ll stay, it’d be a pity to forgo this old wardrobe, some old rag, we’re not going! But you go, save yourselves!’

And so in the evening, after the curfew, we set off, to save ourselves. We ran from Kozla Street, down the stairs to Koscielna, and there was Bugaj Street, the fishermen. We got to one of those fishermen and for two zlotys he took us to the other side of the river. He dropped us off near the zoo. It was dark. We waited there until 6am, in some bushes, the same kind of ones that are there today. At 6am we went towards the Wilenski train station. Country women in head scarves came to Warsaw with milk, they had those 20-liter cans, two cans each. They delivered the milk to their customers across Warsaw in the night and returned on the morning train. And we got through to the stock car among those women. They were returning home, and we rode among them.

There were checkpoints on the way, but somehow we managed to hide ourselves among them. Eventually we got to Malkinia, and my brother says, ‘Everyone’s getting off that side, and the Germans are yelling to be getting off the other side, so let’s follow the others.’ And we followed the women. We walked through the fields, and suddenly, ‘Halt!’ [German for ‘Stop!’] They started searching, ‘Jude, Jude,’ fished out a dozen persons from among those ladies and told them to go in that direction. Us too. The women went their way, to their villages, their homes, and us they drove in another direction.

We walked perhaps a kilometer and we came upon a crowd of people, a huge crowd! Thousands of people sitting in the neutral zone. On the one side the Russians, in those tall hats of theirs, and on the other the Germans. If you entered the neutral zone, it was neither this way nor that, nor any other. There were several dozen thousand people there. It was cold, freezing, people were dying. Some delegation went to Moscow, they let them pass. There came orders from Stalin to let the Jews pass to Bialystok [city 120 km north-east of Warsaw, in Russian-seized territories between 1939 and 1941]. There were mostly Jews there and some Poles, communists, but not many. Those were refugees from all those places that the Germans had captured.

At first, no one thought about fleeing to Russia, nor did we believe in what the German Jews were telling us about the suffering they had gone through there. A great crowd of people had gathered. Then we managed to get by train to Czyzew [small town 25 km north-east of Malkinia on the rail route to Bialystok]. That’s how we got through. There was no way of going back to the German side. Later people established transfer routes and paid to return, to bring their parents, friends with them. We didn’t want to go back. Our friends, my brother’s friends, went back to get their parents and visited ours to collect them, too. Our parents didn’t want to go. There is this Yiddish saying, ‘What happens to everyone will also happen to the bride.’ They didn’t want to, weren’t aware what would happen to them.

And thus a new epic journey east started for us. I was 14, had had my bar mitzvah, my brother was 15 years older than me. We were in Bialystok. My brother went to Choroszcz, to our sister [Pola], and learned all patients had been taken away and there was no trace of them. The Russians decided all those patients had to be liquidated [Editor’s note: There are no records of the Red Army murdering mentally ill patients. Perhaps it was a one-time action by an isolated unit]. We thus learned our sister was dead, something our parents knew nothing about.

A whole lot of people had gathered in Bialystok. There was no work, so people started trading, wheeling-dealing. The Russians said, ‘There are many spies here, many enemies of the Soviet Union, we need to get rid of them, it’s the border area, it’s dangerous.’ And they announced – people willing to go back to Germany should report there and there. And people bought that. Many signed up for return to Germany. Then the Russians said, street so and so, numbers from so to so, report with luggage at train station. They crammed them into freight cars tight like herrings in a barrel, sealed the cars, posted sentries, and off they went!

I later talked to those people, because we didn’t go. We didn’t sign up for leaving, but very many people wanted to go back. They said, ‘We want nothing to do with all this communism, we have enough.’ And so they set them up. They packed them all, sealed like herrings in a barrel, and they’re riding. It’s no more than 150-200 km to Warsaw. And they’re riding, riding, riding… Until they found themselves in Archangelsk [city in northern Russia on the White Sea, major labor camp location since 1922], or in Murmansk [city in northern Russia on the Barents Sea]. There they took them to a forest, and said, ‘You wanted to go to the Germans? Fascists! Now you’ve got your shovels here, your crowbars and pickaxes, you’ll learn about life and work.’

People of leftist views, on the other hand, like my brother, said, ‘It’s the Soviet Union, the only salvation, we’ve got to save ourselves.’ And they boarded the freight cars, but not under escort, under guard. We rode for four weeks. We knew we were going into the Russian interior, to work, but as volunteers. On our way we stopped at several cities and there were the so called ‘delousing stations’ because lice were eating us away. Those are the kind of steam baths where they take your clothes away for boiling. They killed the lice to prevent typhus. Everyone stripped down completely, gave the clothes away for boiling, and took a bath. We went several times through such quarantine. After such bathing the lice actually came back to life, growing even faster than before, as they had what they liked – heat. And with such luggage, through the delousing stations, we got to the Ural, to Magnitogorsk [city in eastern Russia, in the Ural region, major industrial center, symbol of Stalinist industrialization].

In Magnitogorsk, they welcomed the newcomers, they didn’t say ‘from Poland,’ but ‘from Belarus,’ who ‘want to be building the Magnitogorsk industrial complex with us.’ Some people survived that way. But some didn’t like it, so they went back [to the General Government]. They actually decided to flee while in Magnitogorsk – and some made it. You could fix everything in Russia if you had the money, because it was completely corrupt. The authorities were corrupt, the police were corrupt. They went back to the ghetto! And they started writing letters. Until 1941, the postal service functioned normally. We sent two packages to our parents, to the 11 Kozla Street address. We got a confirmation they had received the packages, but we didn’t know what was happening to them. From the people who got back there we knew a ghetto had been set up. But whether or not our parents were still there, that we didn’t know.

I don’t know whether it was out of naivety of something else, but people wrote letters to [Soviet] president Kalinin asking for families to be allowed to reunite. Kalinin 31 sent a reply, saying that the letters had been forwarded to Berlin and talks were under way on a potential reuniting program. That was before the outbreak of the German-Russian war, before June 1941 32. The two countries kept normal diplomatic relations. When the war broke out – it was the end. Germany became an enemy, a treacherous invasion, and we were making tanks, weapons etc. to defend the country against the Germans.

I completed a carpentry course in Magnitogorsk. Then I was assigned to a brigade that built coke-chemical furnaces. Before the war, the Russians didn’t have the technology of building such furnaces, and had to employ Belgian, Dutch, American specialists to build them. Special luxurious developments were built to house them. They were paid in gold. Those were the experts in building coke-chemical furnaces. During the war, when they started heating up one of such furnaces, it collapsed. And without coke you can’t make tanks. It meant a great sabotage had occurred. All those foreign experts had gone home, they were foreign citizens, the Russians couldn’t stop them. And so they set up special brigades for building those furnaces, and I was assigned to one of those. We knew how to lay those bricks, because those are the chamotte bricks, maximum tolerance is 1-2 millimeters, there can be no deviation, and there you cook coke. We learned to build those furnaces. We were at first like students, and those who had worked under those foreign experts were our masters. We became craftsmen. An enterprise was set up to build coke-chemical plants. So after the Magnitogorsk project had been completed, they sent us to Novosibirsk [city in Siberia, port on the Ob River]. The production cycle was six months.

My brother, in turn, became a construction worker. There’s this concrete construction, you insert metal rods and pour concrete over it. He worked with reinforced concrete. We were in touch, but I worked in a completely different place. You worked 14-16 hours a day, no one asked you. There was work to be done and that’s it. War. I lost touch with my brother in Magnitogorsk because I was sent to Chelabinsk [city in the Ural, major industrial center]. From Chelabinsk to Novosibirsk, from Novosibirsk to Sverdlovsk [city in eastern Russia, former Yekaterinburg]. When they started liberating Ukraine [1944], and in Donetsk [industrial city in eastern Ukraine] there were such furnaces, they told us, ‘Now your brigade will go to Ukraine.’ And they sent us, two or three engineers and our group, about 30 people, from Siberia to Ukraine. That was 1944. As soon as the Russians captured Donetsk, the Donbass region [Donets Basin or Donbass, industrial region in eastern Ukraine, major cities Donetsk and Luhansk], they sent us there.

After the war

There we found bombed out ruins, it was the turn of 1944 and 1945. A whole lot of German POWs had been gathered there, later also the kulaks 33 and others from the socialist countries, Hungary, Czechoslovakia, to tear down those ruins, and on that rubble we started building those coking furnaces. We were again in the spotlight there, because within half a year they started smelting iron in the Donbass again. It was ore, but without coke, so it’s nothing. I was in touch a bit with my brother, he was in the Ural.

I got so Russianized in that work brigade – as I had been Polonized in the past, de-Judaized, so I became Russianized here. I could no longer speak Polish, because I hadn’t been doing so, and I didn’t speak much Yiddish either. Then I found out that the Union of Polish Patriots [ZPP] 34 had been set up and was signing people up for return to Poland. I met one more boy like myself, a victim, his name was Furman, from Pinsk [town in eastern Poland, presently in Belarus]. Interestingly, he was a Jew, and his father had been a sailor in the Pinsk Fleet. We were together in Ukraine. We were in Dnieprodherzhinsk then [industrial city in Ukraine], that’s a dozen kilometers from Dniepropetrovsk [industrial city in south-central Ukraine]. And one day he says, ‘You know, let’s go to Dniepropetrovsk, we’ll find that ZPP office.’ And so we’ve found it, are turning up, talking in Russian. They ask us, ‘Where are you from?’ ‘I’m from Warsaw, and he’s from Pinsk,’ I say, ‘Okay, but how do we know it? Do you have any documents?’ I only had a school ID. And what does your friend have? And he had nothing. So I say, ‘He’s been with me all the time, since the beginning of the war.’ No, he has to present some document. And so that school ID saved me, and him they didn’t let go and he had to stay in the Soviet Union. No one gave you the benefit of the doubt there.

When I registered there, I told them I had a brother in Magnitogorsk, and that I knew he had been registered with the ZPP there. They checked that, and found out he was no longer in Magnitogorsk but in Moscow. He had been brought to Moscow alongside a group of Jews who were to prepare for repatriation to Poland 35. Because there was a problem – what to do with the Jews who were in Russia and when they return to Poland, where would they go? They had no families, no houses, nothing. So a group was set up in Moscow to prepare ‘aliyah’ from the Soviet Union to Poland. My brother and others had been brought there. He later found himself in the Lublin government 36, under the protection of Modzelewski [Zygmunt Modzelewski (1900-1954): communist politician, during WWII in the Soviet Union, 1947-1951 foreign minister of communist Poland].

The Lublin government sent him to Lower Silesia [region in south-western Poland], as a delegate for receiving the repatriates there. Before the war, he had served time together with Ochab, so he had good credentials. [Edward Ochab (1906-1989): communist politician, during WWII in the Soviet Union, first secretary of the communist party between March and October 1956, head of state 1964-1968, member of parliament. Withdrew from politics in the aftermath of the 1968 anti-Semitic campaign.] When I was in Ukraine and read somewhere that Warsaw had been liberated in January, I thought, ‘Why not?’, scribbled a few words on a piece of paper, and sent that to Warsaw, to 11 Kozla Street, my parents’ address. A reply came, ‘House burned down, addressee absent.’ Meantime, my brother got in touch with me to let me know he was in Lublin [city in south-eastern Poland, ca. 200 km south-east of Warsaw], and that he’d be in touch.

I returned to Poland in one of the [repatriation] transports, it was February 1946, arriving in a place called Rychbach, Reichenbach in German, Dzierzoniów in Polish [town in south-western Poland, 50 km south of Wroclaw, on former German territory. The main gathering point for Jews being repatriated from the Soviet Union to Poland after WWII]. I didn’t go to Warsaw because to whom would I have been supposed to go there? My parents died in the Warsaw ghetto. No one survived of the whole Warsaw family. They were probably sent to Treblinka 37. My brother told me once there had been over thirty people in the family. Of those thirty-something, virtually only me and my brother have survived.

After the war I met my mother’s brother, Awrum, and his children, who had survived in Russia. In 1920, a group of Polish Jews, communists, wanted to cross the border illegally to the Soviet Union. On the border they caught them as spies, enemies. It didn’t matter they were communists. They were sent to the Siberia. Awrum did time before the war in a prison in Kharkov [city in eastern Ukraine], he took me [and showed to me] in which cell they kept him and fed him with herring. They lived in Kharkov. The elders are already dead, and their children have gone to America, Israel. If I was in touch with them at all, it’s less so now, because with children it’s a different story altogether.

My mother’s cousin, Stella, I don’t remember her last name, worked before the war as assistant teacher at the Korczak 38 orphanage. I don’t know how she survived. She settled in America. It is from her that I have my mother’s only pre-war photo. We got in touch, she came here. She knew my mother, she remembers me as a small moppet. She died recently.

Virtually no one’s left of my generation. There was Janka Wiernik, daughter of Jojne Gutman, my eldest uncle. She was a communist in France before the war. She went there in search of work. She was active in the communist movement in a coal mine in Belgium and she met Gierek there [Edward Gierek (1913-2001): communist politician, before WWII worked in Belgium as coal miner, 1970-1980 first secretary of the Polish communist party]. I called her. ‘Who’s this?’ I go, ‘Do you know anything about Nieznanowski from Podwale?’ ‘And who are you?’ ‘I’m his son, Felek!’ We got in touch. She’s dead now.

On our way back to Poland, in Przemysl [town in south-eastern Poland, ca. 350 km of Warsaw], we were being shot at by the Ukrainian gangs [official propaganda in Poland referred to armed Ukrainians active in the contestable territories in the post-WWII period as ‘Ukrainian gangs’], on our way from Ukraine. We arrived in Rychbach, I looked around: it was full of Jews, hustle and bustle like before the war on Nalewki! And I’m standing there with my wooden suitcase, dressed in the Soviet-style quilted work jacket. ‘Hey, who are you with? Wie alt bist du? [German for ‘How old are you?’] Where you from?’ I started to tell him. ‘Wait, you won’t be walking on foot! Sit on my bike, and I’ll walk and carry your suitcase. Where do you want to go?’ ‘To Daszynskiego Street,’ I said, ‘my brother works there.’ ‘Daszynskiego?’ ‘It’s where the Jewish Committee 39 is located.’

I went there, and there was a huge crowd in front of it, people had arrived in town and are waiting for lodgings, for food, because they had emerged within nothing from the train. I couldn’t push through. Eventually I got through to the secretary, her name was Siedlecka,  and I say to her, in Russian, I remember, ‘Mrs. Siedlecka, my name is Nieznanowski.’ She says, ‘Oh, Nieznanowski, you must be his brother?’ And my brother entered the room. We burst into tears. We hadn’t seen each other since 1941. He says, ‘Take these keys, there’s an apartment, go there, I can’t leave the office right now. You’ll find some clothes there, get dressed.’

I entered the apartment, looked around – and there were swastikas, all kinds of German clothes. I opened the drawer – there’s a gun. But, most importantly, there was a bathroom! A coal-fired stove. I fired under that stove, took a bath, dressed into those shorts, the lederhosen, and turned into something of a German boy. I went to the train station, and there stands the car in which I arrived. I say, ‘What are you waiting here for, come on, let’s go!’ ‘No, we’re supposed to go to Klodzko [town in south-western Poland, 80 km south of Wroclaw, on former German territory].’ So I said to them, ‘We’re not going to Klodzko, this is where we'll stay!’ And they got off. The whole chevra [group], I have them in the photos here 40.

Life in communist Poland

And so another Jewish epic story began, in Dzierzoniów this time. I was there in 1946-1947. I found myself in the center of things. There were so many kibbutzim, various ones, of various hues! And I had come as a leftist, from the Soviet Union. So I ask them, ‘Which organization am I supposed to join?’ ‘The ZWM!’ they tell me. Alright, let it be the ZWM 41. And the Jews were quarreling about who was to be in charge of distributing the things that are arriving, because through Gdansk there were arriving loads of stuff from the Joint 42: bales of fabrics, machines, products, food, all for the Jewish survivors. Really great amounts of stuff. And, typically for the Jews, they started quarreling who was to be in charge of all that. And each party wanted to be important. Finally, a decision was made – I have no family, I’m young, I will be the storeman. Because half of all that stuff had already found its way to the market. They were already dealing, doing gesheft, business. And so shipments were arriving – there’s matzah, there’s canned fish, there’s kosher food. Loads and loads of stuff. You made lists and in the cooperatives, the factories, there were distributing the stuff according to those lists. But there were always some smooth operators who tried to get the stuff that wasn’t theirs.

And someone told me, ‘There’s one man you can trust, and his name is Szpryngier. He is a German who saved the synagogue and the Jewish cemetery here, he was here throughout the war. He’s the only man you can trust. Okay, Szpryngier or no Szpryngier, I had to deal with all kinds of people in the Ural. I introduced myself. I gathered all the Jewry – for in the meantime I had become an anti-Semite – and told them so, ‘All the keys that you have, put them on the table! I brought locksmiths, all the locks have been replaced, and only me and Szpryngier have keys to them now, no one else is allowed to enter the storerooms.’

And then it started! ‘What, he wants to introduce his rule here!?’ They started tossing around, shouting. Started accusing my brother that he discriminates in favor of the Zionists. That, though he’s a communist, he still shows favor to the kibbutzniks. A brawl started. It was the time of the so called rightwing-nationalist deviation. [Editor’s note: At a congress in December 1948, the Polish Socialist Party (PPS) and the communist Polish Workers’ Party (PPR) merged to form a communist-dominated Polish United Workers’ Party (PZPR). That became possible only because PPS members opposing the merger (or in fact absorption by the communists) had been accused of a ‘rightwing-nationalist deviation’ and ousted. An estimated one in four PPS members were marginalized or expelled from the party.] I was powerless. With such a crowd of people I had no power to control all that. I asked some of the younger ones to the side and tell them, ‘Listen, I don’t want you to be policemen, but please, keep a watchful eye. If you see someone selling chocolate on the market – where does he have it from? Or canned food?’ Everyone knew it was a tactic to frighten. And they grumble, ‘Look, such a young lad and such a zealot.’ And bargaining began, like today – who is to have control over all that aid? Let’s do a rotating presidency, first the Poalei Zion 43, then the Bund 44, then the religious organization. Ideology was mainly just a cover. I knew the kibbutzim needed to provide for the people, they had taken them under their roof, had to feed them, nourish them. It wasn’t important for me whether someone was from this or that kibbutz – what was important was that they have enough food to feed their people. A major tussle started and then I said, ‘Enough! I can no longer stand it here.’

In 1947 I was drafted into the army. I said, okay, if I’ve been drafted, then I’m going. What, to the army? Are you crazy? A delegation came from Wroclaw, the party secretary, Grudzien. He says, ‘Felek, are you crazy, you, going into the army? One phone call and you don’t have to go.’ And I tell him, ‘But I want to go! I don’t want to be here any longer.’ And so I bid farewell to all that and joined the army. I started with the barracks, from the lowest rank, from washing the johns. My brother they did in, too. As a supporter of Zionism, he was eliminated from Dzierzoniów. Since then I knew I wanted nothing to do with those people. In the army I started as a private, moving gradually up in active service. I went to a cadet school in Lodz. This impressed me, I’ve got to admit it – a working-class boy, from Warsaw, a Jew, and suddenly he becomes someone and is respected! But there were the ghetto commemorations, they came to Warsaw, we met, I kept in touch with them. Most immigrated to Israel, to other countries, and I was stuck in the military.

In 1952 I married Henryka. There’s two years’ age difference between us. She isn’t Jewish. We met in Warsaw through a common friend. We just grew intimate. She didn’t have parents, only the father, her mother died when she was a child, in 1937. During the war her father was taken prisoner, then found himself in a camp. She and her younger sister were living with relatives. My brother and whole family welcomed her really warmly, she saw a completely different atmosphere. Her family are simple people, but it wasn’t a problem for them, they respected my brother. The problem of anti-Semitism didn’t exist. What was under the surface, I don’t want to know, though I’m not that stupid not to realize.

I’ve been living in this house, 82B Koszykowa Street, for 52 years now. I watched it being built. I had a studio flat, only the bed, there was no passage. If you wanted to pass, the other person had to lie on the bed. So narrow. But when we were expecting our first child, I went to my commanding officer, and I say to him, ‘Comrade, we’ll have a child, there’s no room for three in that apartment. Please do something.’ He immediately summoned an architect, a major, and says, ‘This officer has been allotted an apartment, when is it supposed to be ready?’ And he says, ‘We could finish the renovation, but there are no stairs, we have no materials.’ ‘You’ll get materials, everything, do it in two weeks.’

When I moved in, the stairs still weren’t there, we climbed up the construction gangways, and German POWs were hurrying to finish the renovation. Then the second child came, a year and half had passed. I lived in the same staircase, only up a floor. I got one room, I wasn’t due for more. There was some general, a bachelor, someone was interested in him getting the apartment, but they could only give him one room. And so we moved into that apartment, whose renovation had still not been completed by then. Our daughter Ewa was born in 1953, and a son, Witek, followed in 1954.

My brother had a wife, a Jewess, and three kids. His wife’s name was Guta Rozenfeld, the kids – Michal, Hadasa, and Rachela. They lived in Zoliborz [district in northern left-bank Warsaw]. In 1954 – they could no longer stand it, because that daughter, Rachela – she’s dead now – was a typical Jewess, dark-skinned, pretty eyes. They harassed her in school. She hit herself on the head, had to be treated psychiatrically. So they said, ‘Enough! We can no longer stand it here!’ A decision was made to leave Poland. My brother came to me and says, ‘What do we do? Only the two of us have been left.’ I say, ‘I’m in the army, I’ll go and tell them to dismiss me.’ They still pretended to be nice then. They said, ‘So what that your brother is leaving? But you have a wife, the army needs you, we won’t dismiss you. It doesn’t matter that your brother is leaving.’ I say, ‘What do you mean it doesn’t matter? I know the rule is if you have anyone abroad, you yourself will never be permitted to leave.’ ‘No, nothing of the sort!’ My brother said, ‘Well, you have your family, you’ll do as you like, but we’re leaving.’ And thus we parted. In Israel my brother worked in the Carit kibbutz. His daughter, Rachela, went to the swimming pool once, wanted to take a swim, they didn’t notice, she drowned. Hadasa works as a teacher.

In 1954 my wife was working for the military. She was set up – they didn’t know to get rid of me, the easiest way was through her. She ran the classified registry, one day they called her, said the baby had high fever in the nursery, she had to come and take it home. She went to her boss, handed over the keys, and returned only two weeks later, after the baby had gotten better. In the meantime, a top-secret document had gone missing – the dislocation of underground airfields in Poland. She had registered it and now it was gone. So they started interrogating her, an investigation was launched. I was in the academy in Poznan at the time, and she was crying, telling me, listen, so and so. I thought this way and that way, but those days it was difficult to extricate yourself from something like that. They still did it the soft way, because they trusted me, after all, so they just fired her from the job. She was left jobless.

It was then, being unemployed for the first time, that she signed up for an ORT course 45, a purse- and bag-making course. There she met Jews. At the time Jews were coming to Poland, repatriates [from the Soviet Union, being released as part of the thawing following Stalin’s death], it was 1954, and with those people she participated in the course. Later they went to work. There was the Odrodzenie cooperative, the Optima cooperative, and there she worked in the bookkeeping department. I used to tell her, ‘You’re now more Jewish than I am!’

In 1967 I was told to report at the human resources department, and they asked me, ‘So how’s your brother in Israel doing?’ ‘You’re asking me how he’s doing? Legia, the football team, have just returned from Israel, you ask them how my brother is doing. They’ll give you a detailed account, and I know nothing.’ It really wasn’t simple to be in touch those days.

Two years later, when the anti-Semitic campaign 46 had started in earnest, they tell me to report and say, ‘Listen, we have to dismiss you.’ I say, ‘Now? Well, okay, dismiss me. I wanted to do it a long time ago.’ The other officers were asking, why Nieznanowski is being dismissed. I was popular with the cadre. They say, ‘What, you don’t know? His brother is a high-ranking police officer in Tel Aviv! And you’re asking why he is being dismissed?’ It was only then I learned. I said, ‘How is that possible? He’s had rickets, he’s my height, how can he be in the army?’ But it didn’t matter, it’s enough that they’d said it. It was just sending a clear signal they wanted to get rid of me. But they had no pretext, so they had to invent.

Later they took care of me, they summoned me, and ask, ‘How long have you been a major?’ ’Eight years.’ ‘Eight years? And no promotion?’ ‘No,’ I say, ‘I’m of the wrong descent, that’s why I’ve had no promotion.’ ‘Well, that’s a scandal! We’re offering you a higher position. You can immediately go to Bartoszyce, in the Mazury area [lake district in north-eastern Poland].’ I say, ‘To Bartoszyce? A very interesting proposition, but I can’t decide [myself], I have a wife, children, a home.’ ‘But you’re the head of the family, the decision is yours to make!’ I say, ‘No, I can’t decide without my loved ones.’ ‘Alright, report tomorrow at 10am what you’ve decided.’

I already knew how they were fixing others. ‘So, have you made up your mind?’ ‘Yes, I have, and I have decided not to go and not to accept this proposition.’ ‘And why?’ ‘My kids are about to complete elementary school, they won’t be able to continue their education there. I know what kind of town Bartoszyce is.’ ‘Are you refusing to obey an order?’ I say, ‘This is not an order. I’m simply rejecting the proposition. If you offer me something here, in Warsaw, then okay.’ Several dozen people were thus gotten rid of. Everything under pretext, and at Jaruzelski’s 47 knowledge, because he was the defense minister at the time.

By 1968, when all that had hit us [the anti-Semitic campaign], I saw that spirit starting to circle around me. We were thinking more and more about leaving. My wife was very much in favor, because we saw – this one leaving, that one leaving, you went to the Dworzec Gdanski train station, bid farewell. I then said – if I am to go, then only to Israel, where I had a brother, there was family. I was full of ideology, I was thinking, there’s no place in the world that’s free of anti-Semitism. I knew it was in America, it was everywhere. On the other hand, there was the question of my wife going to Israel, of our children, as it wasn’t clear whether they were Jews or not. It wasn’t very clear at the time whether a goy woman would be welcomed in Israel, or the kids, whether my son would adopt the religion. There were many unanswered questions, though today they tell me it wasn’t that bad. I don’t know, perhaps I was wrong, in any case, that tilted the balance against going. Both my wife and my kids have held it against me to this day.

I got a weak kick in the ass, most people were getting a strong one, they started working on you, dissecting you, and in most cases it was turning out you were a spy. I avoided all that, but I knew what was going on behind the scenes. I knew who’d be summoned and who wouldn’t, and I didn’t decide to emigrate, though they were trying hard to persuade me to do it, to Sweden. Very many of my friends left then – they were going to Sweden, to Denmark, my neighbors. And we stayed.

Recent years

I was twice in Israel, in the 1990s. Once at my brother’s initiative, who had died but left a wish to that effect and brought me and my wife to Israel. He had died sometime earlier, in 1987. I visited his grave, it was in the  Sarid kibbutz, situated in the north of Israel. The second time I went with a group on a social exchange program organized by the Jewish community here, to familiarize myself with the country. I contacted all those friends of mine and was received very heartily everywhere, and they started coming here. Poland has become something like a base. When in Poland, Jews go to places like Ciechocinek or Krynica Morska.

I can read Yiddish to this day. Before the war, I spoke it fluently. Later, in Russia, I got complete amnesia, I couldn’t even speak Polish after returning from there. I spoke Russian and a bit of Ukrainian. But when I returned to the chevra, to the Jewish community, the knowledge of Yiddish came back to me. My Hebrew is only so-so. I studied in an ashkenazi school. In Israel today they speak Sephardi everywhere, but when I was in Israel for a couple of days, I quickly started to catch on, if I spent some time there, it would return to me. [Editor’s note: the interviewee is referring to the more oriental Hebrew of today’s Israel with regards to pronunciation and vocabulary.]

In 1990, Mostowicz 48 asked me, ‘What do you do now?’ ‘Nothing,’ I told him, ‘I’ve retired again.’ And I got involved in things Jewish. Old people started coming, I started reading, and the Yiddish language was revived in me. But when I went to Israel, I could only speak Yiddish with the religious ones, no one speaks Yiddish there. I’ve noticed it among young people – they study it at school, but it’s a dead language, I believe. You can still buy a newspaper in Yiddish, but few people speak the language, hardly anyone can read it. There are a few old men who can, with whom I can talk, but that’s about it. That’s the fate of languages, they die.

I worked for the community for many years, but no longer. There’s the social assistance committee, supported, among other things, by the Joint. Then for the Jewish Veterans’ Association 49, Mostowicz had brought me there. Right now I’m gradually pulling out. I work for the Jewish Historical Institute and the Museum of the History of Polish Jews, I’m the chairman of the auditing committee. So I’m still active, but these days I no longer want to involve myself too deeply. I also had to back out because of my wife’s disease, because her Parkinson is developing, assuming various forms. In fact, whom am I supposed to live for? How much life do I have left?

My son, Witek, is in Sweden. He had been going there to earn money by picking berries, went again in 1980, and never returned. He worked at the psychiatric hospital in Uppsala. He started as a paramedic, but the doctors appreciated him and he was promoted, ran the psychiatric outpatient clinic. Last year he got promoted again and is the manager of the municipal department of psychiatry in Uppsala. So he ceased being a doctor and became an office worker. He attended English courses at the British Institute, where he was taught by his future wife. She obviously taught him to become her husband, and so they got married. His wife’s name is Valerie, she’s English. I went there, the wedding was in grand style. They traveled the world for ten years, and after ten years [they got married]. Then came the children. They have two daughters, Chana and Rebecca. Chana is 15, and Rebecca is eight years old. Unfortunately, they don’t speak Polish.

My son started questioning me, ‘Dad,’ he says, ‘the girls are supposed to write school essays about their roots, their descent, draw their genealogical tree. Start writing.’ So when they asked me to record [for the Survivors of the Shoah Visual History Foundation], I gave the whole tape to my son. He translated it into English or Swedish, and now they’re proud of their grandfather who lives in Poland.

There is no problem in his family whether he’s Jewish or not. I was in England, to visit his parents-in-law, I was received by an Anglican priest. Everyone knows my parents were in the ghetto. The notion of anti-Semitism doesn’t exist there at all, and we got really close with his wife, too. My son, in turn, has been more and more interested in his Jewishness. How so? Well, he’s connected to Warsaw there through the Internet, reads the Polish press, and he’s really absorbed with all those things. So I started sending him books, magazines.

My daughter, Ewa, lives in Poland. She went to school to Czternastka, then to Queen Jadwiga’s on Wawelska [names of high schools in Warsaw]. She has a degree in agriculture. Then she got married, her husband works for a foreign company, he’s got a degree in archaeology. They have one son, Bartek. A handsome boy, tall, 185 centimeters. He was born in 1988. He’s studying inland construction at the Warsaw University of Technology. Ewa’s husband is a Catholic, a boy from Ochota [district in left-bank Warsaw], he isn’t dim, though his mother hardly ever leaves the church, but that isn’t a problem. Since she’s been to Israel, I’m an older brother in faith, I’m virtually as good as holy. The relationship is really okay. I meet my daughter, my son-in-law on an everyday basis, and with her parents-in-law we also get together from time to time.

I have this rule that I never advertise loudly that I’m a Jew, Felek Nieznanowski, but wherever something needs to be done, I never shun it. For instance, I worked for some time on a volunteer basis for the Polish-German Reconciliation foundation where I was in charge of Jewish affairs. I worked there with all kinds of people – from the AK 50, the NSZ 51… Surprisingly, I’ve kept in touch with those people since then. They’re from my generation. They like to see me, I like to see them. They used to be fierce fighters, broke up prisons after the war, served time in jail, and so on, today they’re just elderly gentlemen. They look critically at everything, come from a completely different background than myself, but they like me and they keep calling me. One of them, a doctor, tells me, ‘Felek, I come from an endek family, you know, there were endeks in Poznan 52. My father was an arms contractor for the Polish army before the war and I was brought up in the endek spirit. But the occupation period changed all that.’ I tell him, ‘Listen, I don’t want to be the good Jew!’ But God forbid! I am open.

I’m often in the Old Town, I like the place and if I have a foreign visitor, they have to take a photo where my house stood. I show to them the Kilinski monument, because that’s where the house stood. Before the war, the Kilinski monument stood on the Krasinski Square, near Nowiniarska, where the Warsaw Uprising Heroes monument stands today. It disappeared under occupation, and after the war was moved from the Krasinski Square to its present location.

I recently talked to Krajewski [Stanislaw Krajewski, Jewish activist in Poland] and others and I say, ‘Listen, you’re younger than me, you could be my child. I look skeptically at things, though not completely hopelessly, but I’m no utopist. My only luck is that I’m already 80 years old. I only feel pity for the younger generation and their children. There’s no place for them [Jews] in this country. This could serve as my credo.

Glossary:

1 Orthodox communities

The traditionalist Jewish communities founded their own Orthodox organizations after the Universal Meeting in 1868-1869.They organized their life according to Judaist principles and opposed to assimilative aspirations. The community leaders were the rabbis. The statute of their communities was sanctioned by the king in 1871. In the western part of Hungary the communities of the German and Slovakian immigrants' descendants were formed according to the Western Orthodox principles. At the same time in the East, among the Jews of Galician origins the 'eastern' type of Orthodoxy was formed; there the Hassidism prevailed. In time the Western Orthodoxy also spread over to the eastern part of Hungary. In 1896, there were 294 Orthodox mother-communities and 1,001 subsidiary communities registered all over Hungary, mainly in Transylvania and in the north-eastern part of the country,. In 1930, the 136 mother-communities and 300 subsidiary communities made up 30.4 percent of all Hungarian Jews. This number increased to 535 Orthodox communities in 1944, including 242,059 believers (46 percent).

2 Great Depression

At the end of October 1929, there were worrying signs on the New York Stock Exchange in the securities market. On 24th October ('Black Thursday'), people began selling off stocks in a panic from the price drops of the previous days - the number of shares usually sold in a half year exchanged hands in one hour. The banks could not supply the amount of liquid assets required, so people didn't receive money from their sales. Five days later, on 'Black Tuesday', 16.4 million shares were put up for sale, prices dropped steeply, and the hoarded properties suddenly became worthless. The collapse of the Stock Exchange was followed by economic crisis. Banks called in their outstanding loans, causing immediate closings of factories and businesses, leading to higher unemployment, and a decline in the standard of living. By January of 1930, the American money market got back on it's feet, but during this year newer bank crises unfolded: in one month, 325 banks went under. Toward the end of 1930, the crisis spread to Europe: in May of 1931, the Viennese Creditanstalt collapsed (and with it's recall of outstanding loans, took Austrian heavy industry with it). In July, a bank crisis erupted in Germany, by September in England, as well. In Germany, in 1931, more than 19,000 firms closed down. Though in France the banking system withstood the confusion, industrial production and volume of exports tapered off seriously. The agricultural countries of Central Europe were primarily shaken up by the decrease of export revenues, which was followed by a serious agricultural crisis. Romanian export revenues dropped by 73 percent, Poland's by 56 percent. In 1933 in Hungary, debts in the agricultural sphere reached 2.2 billion Pengoes. Compared to the industrial production of 1929, it fell 76 percent in 1932 and 88 percent in 1933. Agricultural unemployment levels, already causing serious concerns, swelled immensely to levels, estimated at the time to be in the hundreds of thousands. In industry the scale of unemployment was 30 percent (about 250,000 people).

3 Communist Union of Polish Youth (KZMP)

Until 1930 the Union of Communist Youth in Poland. Founded in March 1922 as a branch of the Communist Youth International. From the end of 1923 its structure included also the Communist Youth Union of Western Belarus and the Communist Youth Union of Western Ukraine (as autonomous regional organizations). Its activities included politics, culture and education, and sport. In 1936 it initiated the publication of a declaration of the rights of the young generation in Poland (whose postulates included an equal start in life for all, democratic rights, and the guarantee of work, peace and universal education). The salient activists in the organization included B. Berman, A. Kowalski, A. Lampe, A. Lipski. In 1933 the organization had some 15,000 members, many of whom were Jews and peasants. The KZMP was disbanded in 1938.

4 MOPR (International Organization for Aid to Revolutionary Fighters)

Founded in 1922, and based on the decision of the Fourth Congress of the Communist International, the organization aimed to protect workers from the terrorist attacks of the Whites and help the victims of terrorism. It offered material, legal and intellectual support to political convicts, political emigrants and their families. By 1932 it had a membership of about 14 million people.

5 Haint

Literally 'Today,' it was one of the most popular Yiddish dailies published in Poland. It came out in Warsaw from 1908-1939, and had a Zionist orientation addressing a mass of readers. In the 1930s it attained a print run of 45,000 copies.

6 Folkszeitung

one of the Yiddish dailies published in Warsaw between the wars.

7 Bolsheviks

Members of the movement led by Lenin. The name 'Bolshevik' was coined in 1903 and denoted the group that emerged in elections to the key bodies in the Social Democratic Party (SDPRR) considering itself in the majority (Rus. bolshynstvo) within the party. It dubbed its opponents the minority (Rus. menshynstvo, the Mensheviks). Until 1906 the two groups formed one party. The Bolsheviks first gained popularity and support in society during the 1905-07 Revolution. During the February Revolution in 1917 the Bolsheviks were initially in the opposition to the Menshevik and SR ('Sotsialrevolyutsionyery', Socialist Revolutionaries) delegates who controlled the Soviets (councils). When Lenin returned from emigration (16th April) they proclaimed his program of action (the April theses) and under the slogan 'All power to the Soviets' began to Bolshevize the Soviets and prepare for a proletariat revolution. Agitation proceeded on a vast scale, especially in the army. The Bolsheviks set about creating their own armed forces, the Red Guard. Having overthrown the Provisional Government, they created a government with the support of the II Congress of Soviets (the October Revolution), to which they admitted some left-wing SRs in order to gain the support of the peasantry. In 1952 the Bolshevik party was renamed the Communist Party of the Soviet Union.

8 Keren Kayemet Leisrael (K

K.L.) in Poland: Jewish National Fund (JNF) founded in 1901 at the Fifth Zionist Congress in Basel. From its inception, the JNF was charged with the task of fundraising in Jewish communities for the purpose of purchasing land in the Land of Israel to create a homeland for the Jewish people. After 1948 the fund was used to improve and afforest the territories gained. Every Jewish family that wished to help the cause had a JNF money box, called the 'blue box.' Now these boxes are known worldwide as a symbol of Zionism. In Poland the JNF was active in two periods, 1919-1939 and 1945-1950. In preparing its colonization campaign, Keren Kayemet Leisrael collaborated with the Jewish Agency and Keren Hayesod.

9 Rashi

Full name: Rabbi Shlomo Yitzaki (1040-1105). He was one of the greatest Bible scholars in Jewish history. His commentaries on the Torah and the Talmud are indispensable for those interested in studying Jewish literature. He was born in Troyes (France), and studied in the two famous yeshivot of the time, in Mainz and Worms (today Germany). In 1070 he founded a school that made France the center of rabbinic sciences for a very long period. This school gave room, among others, to his sons-in-law and grandsons, who were also renowned Bible scholars and founded the Tosaphist School, and their commentaries are an organic part of any Talmud edition today. Rashi wrote commentaries on almost every scripture book, and commented almost the entire Babylonian Talmud. His commentaries had such importance that the first book printed in Hebrew was made on basis of these commentaries. The letters used for this purpose have been called Rashi letters since then. According to tradition, he died while writing the word 'tahor' (pure) in the commentary he was writing on the Talmud Makkot tractate. He died on 29th Tammuz; the location of his grave is unknown.

10 Brushmakers’ shops

A complex of primitive production facilities (popularly referred to as a shops) set up by the Germans in the Warsaw ghetto. By mid-1942, it employed 4,000 workers recruited from among the ghetto's inhabitants: brushmakers, metal workers, and electricians. It was located in the quarter between the Bonifraterska, Franciszkanska, Walowa, and Swietojerska streets. During the ghetto uprising of April 1943, the brushmakers' shops were the area where Jewish Fighting Organization (ZOB) units led by Marek Edelman fought the Germans.

11 Ringelblum Archive

Archives documenting the life, struggle and death of the Jews in WWII, created by Emanuel Ringelblum (1900-44), a historian, pedagogue and social activist. The archives were compiled by underground activists in the Warsaw ghetto. In his work preparing reports for the clandestine Polish authorities on the situation of the Jewish population, Ringelblum and his many assistants gathered all types of documents (both private and official: notices, letters, reports, etc.) illustrating the reality in the ghettos and the camps. These documents were hidden in metal milk churns, unearthed after the war and deposited with the Jewish Historical Institute. The Ringelblum Archive is now the broadest source of information on the fate of the Jews in the ghettos and the camps.

12 Hashomer Hatzair in Poland

From 1918 Hashomer Hatzair operated throughout Poland, with its headquarters in Warsaw. It emphasized the ideological and vocational training of future settlers in Palestine and personal development in groups. Its main aim was the creation of a socialist Jewish state in Palestine. Initially it was under the influence of the Zionist Organization in Poland, of which it was an autonomous part. In the mid-1920s it broke away and joined the newly established World Scouting Union, Hashomer Hatzair. In 1931 it had 22,000 members in Poland organized in 262 'nests' (Heb. 'ken'). During the occupation it conducted clandestine operations in most ghettos. One of its members was Mordechaj Anielewicz, who led the rising in the Warsaw ghetto. After the war it operated legally in Poland as a party, part of the He Halutz. It was disbanded by the communist authorities in 1949.

13 Ajzensztadt Dawid (1890-1942)

Composer and conductor. Music manager and founder and conductor of the choir at the Great Synagogue on Tlomackie Street in Warsaw. The choir's repertoire was very broad, including, among other things, the great classic composers: Bach, Händel, Haydn. Ajzensztadt performed on numerous occasions at the Warsaw Philharmonic and recorded for the Polish Radio. During the war, he organized a choir in the Warsaw ghetto. His daughter, Marysia Ajzensztadt, known as the 'ghetto nightingale,' was a popular singer. Both died in Treblinka in 1942.

14 Kusewicki Moshe (1889-1965)

World-famous cantor, known as the 'king of cantors.' Born in Lithuania, he was appointed the chazzan of the Tohoret-ha-Kodesh synagogue in Vilnius at a very young age. In 1928 he moved to Warsaw and assumed the post of the senior cantor at the Great Synagogue on Tlomackie. He was also a singer of secular music, recorded for the Polish Radio. During the war in the Soviet Union, he performed at the Georgian Opera in Tbilisi. After the war he returned for a short time to Poland, before immigrating to the US where he continued his cantor career. He recorded many albums with synagogue music.

15 Der Dibuk (The Dybbuk, 1937)

The play was written during the turbulent years of 1912-1917; Polish director Waszynski's 1937 film was made during another period of pre-war unease. It was shot on location in rural Poland, and captures a rich folk heritage. Considered by some to be the greatest of Yiddish films, it was certainly the boldest undertaking, requiring special sets and unusual lighting. In Der Dibuk, the past has a magnetic pull on the present, and the dead are as alluring as the living. Jewish mysticism links with expressionism, and as in Nosferatu, man is an insubstantial presence in the cinematic ether.

16 An-ski, Szymon (pen name of Szlojme Zajnwel Rapaport) (1863-1920)

Writer, ethnographer, socialist activist. Born in a village near Vitebsk. In his youth he was an advocate of haskalah, but later joined the radical movement Narodnaya Vola. Under threat of arrest he left Russia in 1892 but returned there in 1905. From 1911-14 he led an ethnographic expedition researching the folklore of the Jews of Podolye and Volhynia. During the war he organized committees bringing aid to Jewish victims of the conflict and pogroms. In 1918 he became involved in organizing cultural life in Vilnius, as a co-founder of the Union of Jewish Writers and Journalists and the Jewish Ethnographic Society. Two years before his death he moved to Warsaw. He is the author of the Bund party's anthem, 'Di shvue' (Yid. oath). The participation of the Bund in the Revolution of 1905 influenced An-ski's decision to write in Yiddish. In his later work he used elements of Jewish legends collected during his ethnographic expedition and his experiences from WWI. His most famous work is The Dybbuk (which to this day remains one of the most popular Yiddish works for the stage). An-ski's entire literary and scientific oeuvre was published in Warsaw in 1920-25 as a 15-volume edition.

17 The Jewish Historical Institute [Zydowski Instytut Historyczny (ZIH)]

Warsaw-based academic institution devoted to researching the history and culture of Polish Jews. Founded in 1947 from the Central Jewish Historical Committee, an arm of the Central Committee for Polish Jews. ZIH houses an archive center and library whose stocks include the books salvaged from the libraries of the Templum Synagogue and the Institute of Judaistica, and the documents comprising the Ringelblum Archive. ZIH also has exhibition rooms where its collection of liturgical items and Jewish painting are on display, and an exhibition dedicated to the Warsaw ghetto. Initially the institute devoted its research activities solely to the Holocaust, but over the last dozen or so years it has broadened the scope of its historical and cultural work. In 1993 ZIH was brought under the auspices of the Polish Ministry of Culture and National Heritage. It publishes the Jewish Historical Institute Quarterly.

18 13 Tlomackie Street

Between the wars, 13 Tlomackie Street was home to the Union of Jewish Writers and Translators, which brought together those writing in both Yiddish and Polish. It also housed the Library of Judaistica and the Tempel progressive synagogue.

19 Poland’s independence, 1918

In 1918 Poland regained its independence after over 100 years under the partitions, when it was divided up between Russia, Austria and Prussia. World War I ended with the defeat of all three partitioning powers, which made the liberation of Poland possible. On 8 January 1918 the president of the USA, Woodrow Wilson, declaimed his 14 points, the 13th of which dealt with Poland's independence. In the spring of the same year, the Triple Entente was in secret negotiations with Austria-Hungary, offering them integrity and some of Poland in exchange for parting company with their German ally, but the talks were a fiasco and in June the Entente reverted to its original demands of full independence for Poland. In the face of the defeat of the Central Powers, on 7 October 1918 the Regency Council issued a statement to the Polish nation proclaiming its independence and the reunion of Poland. Institutions representing the Polish nation on the international arena began to spring up, as did units disarming the partitioning powers' armed forces and others organizing a system of authority for the needs of the future state. In the night of 6-7 November 1918, in Lublin, a Provisional Government of the Republic of Poland was formed under Ignacy Daszynski. Its core comprised supporters of Pilsudski. On 11 November 1918 the armistice was signed on the western front, and the Regency Council entrusted Pilsudski with the supreme command of the nascent army. On 14 November the Regency Council dissolved, handing all civilian power to Pilsudski; the Lublin government also submitted to his rule. On 17 November Pilsudski appointed a government, which on 21 November issued a manifesto promising agricultural reforms and the nationalization of certain branches of industry. It also introduced labor legislation that strongly favored the workers, and announced parliamentary elections. On 22 November Pilsudski announced himself Head of State and signed a decree on the provisional authorities in the Republic of Poland. The revolutionary left, from December 1918 united in the Communist Workers' Party of Poland, came out against the government and independence, but the program of Pilsudski's government satisfied the expectations of the majority of society and emboldened it to fight for its goals within the parliamentary democracy of the independent Polish state. In January and June 1919 the first elections to the Legislative Sejm were held. On 20 February 1919 the Legislative Sejm passed the 'small constitution'; Pilsudski remained Head of State. The first stage of establishing statehood was completed, despite the fact that the issue of Poland's borders had not yet been resolved.

20 Pilsudski, Jozef (1867-1935)

Polish activist in the independence cause, politician, statesman, marshal. With regard to the cause of Polish independence he represented the pro-Austrian current, which believed that the Polish state would be reconstructed with the assistance of Austria-Hungary. When Poland regained its independence in January 1919, he was elected Head of State by the Legislative Sejm. In March 1920 he was nominated marshal, and until December 1922 he held the positions of Head of State and Commander-in-Chief of the Polish Army. After the murder of the president, Gabriel Narutowicz, he resigned from all his posts and withdrew from politics. He returned in 1926 in a political coup. He refused the presidency offered to him, and in the new government held the posts of war minister and general inspector of the armed forces. He was prime minister twice, from 1926-1928 and in 1930. He worked to create a system of national security by concluding bilateral non-aggression pacts with the USSR (1932) and Germany (1934). He sought opportunities to conclude firm alliances with France and Britain. In 1932, owing to his deteriorating health, Pilsudski resigned from his functions. He was buried in the Crypt of Honor in the Wawel Cathedral of the Royal Castle in Cracow.

21 Maccabi in Poland

Clubs of the Wordwide 'Maccabi' Jewish-Sports Association were created on Polish lands since the beginning of the 20th century, for example the club in Lwow was created in 1901, the club in Cracow in 1907, the club in Warsaw in 1915. In 1930, during a general assembly of the 'Maccabi' clubs, it was decided that 'Maccabi' would merge with the Jewish Physical Education Council and create one Polish Branch of 'Maccabi' with a strong Zionist character. 241 clubs were part of 'Maccabi' in 1931, with 45,000 participants. All Zionist youth organizations were part of 'Maccabi.' 'Maccabi' organized numerous sports events, including the 'Maccabi Games,' parades, instructors' workshops, camps for children. The club has its own libraries, choirs, bands and the Kfar ha-Maccabi fund for settling in Palestine. 

22 Ha-Poel (Ha-Poel Jewish Workers’ Sports Club, from Hebrew ‘worker’)

An association of sports clubs founded in Haifa in 1924. Many of the members were European clubs. Ha-Poel was associated with the Poalei Zion Right party. The first Ha-Poel clubs in Poland were founded in 1929 in Lublin and Lutsk. In 1932, a nationwide organization was founded. The Polish clubs were particularly successful in football. In all, there were 120 Ha-Poel clubs in Poland before the war, with a total of 6,000 members.

23 Polish Legions

A military formation operating in the period 1914-17, formally subordinate to the Austro-Hungarian army but fighting for Polish independence. Commanded by Jozef Pilsudski. From 1915 the Legions came under German command, but some of the Legionnaires refused, which led to the collapse of the organization.

24 Pogrom in Przytyk

The most notorious pre-war pogrom of Jews in Poland. It took place in Przytyk, a small town near Radom, during the spring fair on 9th March 1936. Because tensions in the town had already run high for some time due to a brutal boycott of Jewish shops carried out by the Polish nationalists, Jews organized a 20-strong, armed self-defense squad for the duration of the fair. On 9th March, following an incident with a nationalist urging the boycott of Jews, peasants attending the fair started demolishing the Jewish stalls. The self-defense squad intervened, shots were fired. A Pole, Stanislaw Wiesniak, was fatally wounded. That further aggravated the situation, with the peasants forcing their way into Jewish homes and stores, demolishing them, breaking windows; 20 people were heavily beaten up and two - Mr. and Mrs. Josek and Chaja Minkowski - were killed. Order was only introduced by police forces brought in from nearby Radom. Several weeks later a trial was held: the Jew accused of fatally shooting the Polish peasant was sentenced to eight years in jail, two others to five and six years, the Poles accused of murdering the Minkowskis were acquitted. The Przytyk pogrom sparked strong protests in Poland and abroad, becoming the symbol of Polish anti-Semitism of the 1930s.

25 Anti-Semitism in Poland in the 1930s

From 1935-39 the activities of Polish anti-Semitic propaganda intensified. The Sejm introduced barriers to ritual slaughter, restrictions of Jews' access to education and certain professions. Nationalistic factions postulated the removal of Jews from political, social and cultural life, and agitated for economic boycotts to persuade all the country's Jews to emigrate. Nationalist activists took up posts outside Jewish shops and stalls, attempting to prevent Poles from patronizing them. Such campaigns were often combined with damage and looting of shops and beatings, sometimes with fatal consequences. From June 1935 until 1937 there were over a dozen pogroms, the most publicized of which was the pogrom in Przytyk in 1936. The Catholic Church also contributed to the rise of anti-Semitism. 

26 Jewish cemeteries in Warsaw

There were two Jewish cemeteries in Warsaw - at Gesia Street (presently Okopowa) on the left bank, and in the Targowek/Brodno neighborhood in the right-bank district of Praga. The Praga cemetery was in operation since 1780. In 1806, the Jewish Community of Warsaw, founded in the late 18th century, opened its own cemetery beyond the town embankments at the exit of Gesia Street. Some 150,000 people had been buried there by 1939. It is one of the last active Jewish cemeteries in Poland.

27 German Invasion of Poland

The German attack of Poland on 1st September 1939 is widely considered the date in the West for the start of World War II. After having gained both Austria and the Bohemian and Moravian parts of Czechoslovakia, Hitler was confident that he could acquire Poland without having to fight Britain and France. (To eliminate the possibility of the Soviet Union fighting if Poland were attacked, Hitler made a pact with the Soviet Union, the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact.) On the morning of 1st September 1939, German troops entered Poland. The German air attack hit so quickly that most of Poland's air force was destroyed while still on the ground. To hinder Polish mobilization, the Germans bombed bridges and roads. Groups of marching soldiers were machine-gunned from the air, and they also aimed at civilians. On 1st September, the beginning of the attack, Great Britain and France sent Hitler an ultimatum - withdraw German forces from Poland or Great Britain and France would go to war against Germany. On 3rd September, with Germany's forces penetrating deeper into Poland, Great Britain and France both declared war on Germany.

28 Warsaw Ghetto

A separate residential district for Jews in Warsaw created over several months in 1940. On 16th November 1940 138,000 people were enclosed behind its walls. Over the following months the population of the ghetto increased as more people were relocated from the small towns surrounding the city. By March 1941 445,000 people were living in the ghetto. Subsequently, the number of the ghetto's inhabitants began to fall sharply as a result of disease, hunger, deportation, persecution and liquidation. The ghetto was also systematically reduced in size. The internal administrative body was the Jewish Council (Judenrat). The Warsaw ghetto ceased to exist on 15th May 1943, when the Germans pronounced the failure of the uprising, staged by the Jewish soldiers, and razed the area to the ground.

29 Armbands

From the beginning of the occupation, the German authorities issued all kinds of decrees discriminating against the civilian population, in particular the Jews. On 1st December 1939 the Germans ordered all Jews over the age of 12 to wear a distinguishing emblem. In Warsaw it was a white armband with a blue star of David, to be worn on the right sleeve of the outer garment. In some towns Jews were forced to sew yellow stars onto their clothes. Not wearing the armband was punishable - initially with a beating, later with a fine or imprisonment, and from 15th October 1941 with the death penalty (decree issued by Governor Hans Frank).

30 Flight eastwards, 1939

From the moment of the German attack on Poland on 1st September 1939, Poles began to flee from areas in immediate danger of invasion to the eastern territories, which gave the impression of being safer. When in the wake of the Soviet aggression (17th September) Poland was divided into Soviet and German-occupied zones, hundreds of thousands of refugees from central and western Poland found themselves in the Soviet zone, and more continued to arrive, often waiting weeks for permits to cross the border. The majority of those fleeing the German occupation were Jews. The status of the refugees was different to that of locals: they were treated as dubious elements. During the passport campaign (the issue of passports, i.e. ID, to the new USSR - formerly Polish - citizens) of spring 1940, refugees were issued with documents bearing the proviso that they were prohibited from settling within 100 km of the border. At the end of June 1940 the Soviet authorities launched a vast deportation campaign, during which 82,000 refugees were transported deep into the Soviet Union, mainly to the Novosibirsk and Archangelsk districts. 84% of those deported in that campaign were Jews, and 11% Poles. The deportees were subjected to harsh physical labor. Paradoxically, for the Jews, exile proved their salvation: a year later, when the Soviet Union's western border areas were occupied by the Germans, those Jews who had managed to stay put, perished in the Holocaust.

31 Kalinin, Mikhail (1875-1946)

Soviet politician, one of the editors of the party newspaper Pravda, chairman of the All-Russian Central Executive Committee of Soviets of the RSFSR (1919-1922), chairman of the Supreme Soviet of the RSFSR (1922-1938), chairman of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR (1938-1946). He was one of Stalin's closest political allies.

32 Great Patriotic War

On 22nd June 1941 at 5 o'clock in the morning Nazi Germany attacked the Soviet Union without declaring war. This was the beginning of the so-called Great Patriotic War. The German blitzkrieg, known as Operation Barbarossa, nearly succeeded in breaking the Soviet Union in the months that followed. Caught unprepared, the Soviet forces lost whole armies and vast quantities of equipment to the German onslaught in the first weeks of the war. By November 1941 the German army had seized the Ukrainian Republic, besieged Leningrad, the Soviet Union's second largest city, and threatened Moscow itself. The war ended for the Soviet Union on 9th May 1945.

33 Kulaks

In the Soviet Union the majority of wealthy peasants that refused to join collective farms and give their grain and property to Soviet power were called kulaks, declared enemies of the people and exterminated in the 1930s.

34 Union of Polish Patriots (ZPP)

Political organization founded in March 1943 by Polish communists in the USSR. It served Stalin's policy with regard to the Polish question. The ZPP drew up the terms on which the communists took power in post-war Poland. It developed its range of activities more fully after the Soviet authorities broke off diplomatic contact with the government of the Republic of Poland in exile (Apr. 1943). The upper ranks of the ZPP were dominated by communists (from Jan. 1944 concentrated in the Central Bureau of Polish Communists), who did not reveal the organization's long-term aims. The ZPP propagated slogans such as armed combat against the Germans, alliance with the USSR, parliamentary democracy and moderate social and economic reforms in post-war Poland, and redefinition of Poland's eastern border. It considered the ruling bodies of the Republic of Poland in exile to be illegal. It conducted propaganda campaigns (its press organ was called 'Wolna Polska' - Free Poland), and organized community care and education and cultural activities. From May 1943 it co-operated in the organization of the First Kosciuszko Infantry Division, and later the Polish Army in the USSR (1944). In July 1944, the ZPP was formally subordinated to the National Council and participated in the formation of the Polish Committee for National Liberation. From 1944-46, the ZPP resettled Poles and Jews from the USSR to Poland. It was dissolved in August 1946.

35 Repatriations

Post-war repatriations from the USSR included displaced persons deported to the Soviet Union during the war, but also native inhabitants of what had been eastern Poland before the war and what was annexed to the Soviet Union in 1945. In the years 1945-1950, 266,000 people were repatriated, among them around 150,000 Jews. The name 'repatriation' is commonly used, despite the fact that those were often not voluntary.

36 Polish authorities in Lublin in 1944

On 22nd July 1944, in Lublin Chelm the Polish Committee for National Liberation (PKWN) announced the assuming of power in Poland. The Committee was founded two days earlier in Moscow, was an organ completely dependent on Stalin and dominated by communists. A manifest published by PKWN described a temporary system of power in Poland. The function of a Parliament was assumed by the National Council - also dominated by the communists’ joint representation of left-wing organizations. PKWN was the only executive authority and could issue decrees with a power of laws. It began creating local administration, at first in the form of national councils, later bringing back the institutions of voivodes and prefects. PKWN also began organizing Milicja and local Offices of Public Safety (political police). It also commanded the People's Army, created by combining the Polish division of the Red Army and the underground army (communist People's Army and Polish units of Soviet partisanship). On 31st December 1944, the PKWN was converted into the Temporal Government and considered by the Soviet Union to be the only authority in Poland.

37 Treblinka

Village in Poland's Mazovia region, site of two camps. The first was a penal labor camp, established in 1941 and operating until 1944. The second, known as Treblinka II, functioned in the period 1942-43 and was a death camp. Prisoners in the former worked in Treblinka II. In the second camp a ramp and a mock-up of a railway station were built, which prevented the victims from realizing what awaited them until just in front of the entrance to the gas chamber. The camp covered an area of 13.5 hectares. It was bounded by a 3-m high barbed wire fence interwoven densely with pine branches to screen what was going on inside. The whole process of exterminating a transport from arrival in the camp to removal of the corpses from the gas chamber took around 2 hours. Several transports arrived daily. In the 13 months of the extermination camp's existence the Germans gassed some 750,000-800,000 Jews. Those taken to Treblinka included Warsaw Jews during the so-called ‘Grossaktion’ [great liquidation campaign] in the Warsaw ghetto in the summer of 1942. In addition to Polish Jews, Jews from Austria, Belgium, Bulgaria, Czechoslovakia, France, Greece, Yugoslavia and the USSR were also killed in Treblinka. In the spring of 1943 the Germans gradually began to liquidate the camp. On 2nd August 1943 an uprising broke out there with the aim of enabling some 200 people to escape. The majority died.

38 Korczak, Janusz (1878/79-1942)

Polish Jewish doctor, pedagogue, writer of children's literature. He was the co-founder and director (from 1911) of the Jewish orphanage in Warsaw. He also ran a similar orphanage for Polish children. Korczak was in charge of the Jewish orphanage when it was moved to the Warsaw Ghetto in 1940. He was one of the best-known figures behind the ghetto wall, refusing to leave the ghetto and his charges. He was deported to the Treblinka extermination camp with his charges in August 1942. The whole transport was murdered by the Nazis shortly after its arrival in the camp.

39 Central Committee of Polish Jews

It was founded in 1944, with the aim of representing Jews in dealings with the state authorities and organizing and co-coordinating aid and community care for Holocaust survivors. Initially it operated from Lublin as part of the Polish Committee of National Liberation. The CCPJ's activities were subsidized by the Joint, and in time began to cover all areas of the reviving Jewish life. In 1950 the CCPJ merged with the Jewish Cultural Society to form the Social and Cultural Society of Polish Jews.

40 Jews settling in Lower Silesia after World War II

The Jews of the German province of Silesia either emigrated or were killed during the Nazi regime. In 1939 there were 15,480 Jews living in the region, most of who perished during the war. A new influx of Jews began in 1945 after the region was incorporated into Poland. Of the 52,000 or so Jews that arrived there (mostly from Eastern Poland incorporated into the Soviet Union), 10,000 settled in Wroclaw (Breslau), others moved mainly to Legnica (Liegnitz), Dzierzoniow (Reichenbach) and Walbrzych (Waldenburg).

41 Fighting Youth Union (ZWM)

Communist youth organization founded in 1943. The ZWM was subordinate to the Polish Workers' Party (PPR). In 1943-44 it participated in battles against the Germans, and hit squads carried out diversion and retaliation campaigns, mainly in Warsaw, one of which was the attack on the Café Club in October 1943. In 1944 the ZWM was involved in the creation and defense of a system of authority organized by the PPR; the battle against the underground independence movement; the rebuilding of the economy from the ravages of war; and social and economic transformations. The ZWM also organized sports, cultural and educational clubs. The main ZWM paper was 'Walka Mlodych.' In July 1944 ZWM had a few hundred members, but by 1948 it counted some 250,000. Leading activists: H. Szapiro ('Hanka Sawicka'), J. Krasicki, Z. Jaworska and A. Kowalski. In July 1948 it merged with three other youth organizations to become the Polish Youth Union.

42 Joint (American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee)

The Joint was formed in 1914 with the fusion of three American Jewish committees of assistance, which were alarmed by the suffering of Jews during World War I. In late 1944, the Joint entered Europe's liberated areas and organized a massive relief operation. It provided food for Jewish survivors all over Europe, it supplied clothing, books and school supplies for children. It supported cultural amenities and brought religious supplies for the Jewish communities. The Joint also operated DP camps, in which it organized retraining programs to help people learn trades that would enable them to earn a living, while its cultural and religious activities helped re-establish Jewish life. The Joint was also closely involved in helping Jews to emigrate from Europe and from Muslim countries. The Joint was expelled from East Central Europe for decades during the Cold War and it has only come back to many of these countries after the fall of communism. Today the Joint provides social welfare programs for elderly Holocaust survivors and encourages Jewish renewal and communal development.

43 Poalei Zion (the Jewish Social-Democratic Workers’ Party Workers of Zion)

In Yiddish 'Yidishe Socialistish-Demokratishe Arbeiter Partei Poale Syon.' A political party formed in 1905 in the Kingdom of Poland, and operating throughout the Polish state from 1918. The party's main aim was to create an independent socialist Jewish state in Palestine. In the short term, Poalei Zion postulated cultural and national autonomy for the Jews in Poland, and improved labor and living conditions of Jewish hired laborers. In 1920, during a conference in Vienna, the party split, forming the Right Poalei Zion (the Jewish Socialist Workers' Party Workers of Zion), which became part of the Socialist Workers' International and the World Zionist Organization, and the Left Poalei Zion (the Jewish Social-Democratic Workers' Party Workers of Zion), the radical minority, which sympathized with the Bolsheviks. The Left Poalei Zion placed more emphasis on socialist postulates. Key activists: I. Schiper (Right PZ), L. Holenderski, I. Lew (Left PZ); paper: Arbeiter Welt. Both fractions had their own youth organizations: Right PZ: Dror and Freiheit; Left PZ - Jugnt. Left PZ was weaker than Right PZ; only towards the end of the 1930s did it start to form coalitions with other socialist and Zionist parties. In 1937 Left PZ joined the World Zionist Organization. During WWII both fractions were active in underground politics and the resistance movement in the ghettos, in particular the youth organizations. After 1945 both parties joined the Central Jewish Committee in Poland. In 1947 they reunited to form the strongest legally active Jewish party in Poland (with 20,000 members). In 1950 Poalei Zion was dissolved by the communist authorities.

44 Bund in Poland

Largest and most influential Jewish workers' party in pre-war Poland. Founded 1897 in Vilnius. From 1915, the Polish branch operated independently. Ran in parliamentary and local elections. Bund identified itself as a socialist Jewish party, criticized the Soviet Union and communism, rejected Zionism as a utopia, and Orthodoxy as a barrier on the road towards progress, demanded the abolition of all discrimination against Jews, fully equal rights for them, and the right for the free development of Yiddish-language secular Jewish culture. Bund enjoyed particularly strong support in central and south-eastern Poland, especially in large cities. Controlled numerous organizations: women's, youth, sport, educational (TsIShO), as well as trade unions. Affiliated with the party were a youth organization, Tsukunft, and a children's organization, Skif. During the war, the Bund operated underground, and participated in armed resistance, including in the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising as part of the Jewish Fighting Organization (ZOB) led by Marek Edelman. After the war, the Bund leaders joined the Central Committee of Polish Jews, where they postulated, in opposition to the Zionists, a reconstruction of the Jewish community in Poland. In January 1949, the Bund leaders dissolved the organization, urging its members to join the communist Polish United Workers' Party.

45 ORT in Poland

(Abbreviation for Russ. Obshchestvo Rasprostraneniya Truda sredi Yevreyev, originally meaning "Society for Manual [and Agricultural] Work [among Jews]," and later-from 1921-"Society for Spreading [Artisan and Agricultural] Work [among Jews]") It was founded in 1880 in St. Petersburg (Russia) and originally designed to help Russian Jews. One of the problems which ORT tackled was to help the working Jewish youth and craftsmen to integrate into the industrialization. This especially had an impact on the Eastern European countries after World War I. ORT expanded during World War II, when it became a world organization with branches in France, Germany, England, America and elsewhere, in addition to former Russian territories like Poland, Lithuania and Bessarabia. In Poland it operated from 1921 as the Organization for the Development of Industrial, Craft and Agricultural Creativity among the Jewish Population. It provided training in non-commercial trades, chiefly crafts. ORT had a network of schools, provided advanced educational courses for adults and trained teachers. In 1950 it was accused of espionage, its board was expelled from the country and its premises were taken over by the Treasury. After 1956 its activities in Poland were resumed, but following the anti-Semitic campaign in 1968 the communist authorities once again dissolved all the Polish branches of this organization.

46 Anti-Zionist campaign in Poland

From 1962-1967 a campaign got underway to sack Jews employed in the Ministry of Internal Affairs, the army and the central administration. The background to this anti-Semitic campaign was the involvement of the Socialist Bloc countries on the Arab side in the Middle East conflict, in connection with which Moscow ordered purges in state institutions. On 19th June 1967 at a trade union congress the then First Secretary of the Polish United Workers' Party [PZPR], Wladyslaw Gomulka, accused the Jews of a lack of loyalty to the state and of publicly demonstrating their enthusiasm for Israel's victory in the Six-Day-War. This address marked the start of purges among journalists and creative professions. Poland also severed diplomatic relations with Israel. On 8th March 1968 there was a protest at Warsaw University. The Ministry of Internal Affairs responded by launching a press campaign and organizing mass demonstrations in factories and workplaces during which 'Zionists' and 'trouble-makers' were indicted and anti-Semitic and anti-intelligentsia slogans shouted. After the events of March, purges were also staged in all state institutions, from factories to universities, on criteria of nationality and race. 'Family liability' was also introduced (e.g. with respect to people whose spouses were Jewish). Jews were forced to emigrate. From 1968-1971 15,000-30,000 people left Poland. They were stripped of their citizenship and right of return.

47 Jaruzelski, Wojciech (1923)

Politician and general, First Secretary of the Polish Communist Party and President of Poland. From 1943 he served in the Polish Armed Forces in the USSR, and from 1944 in the Polish Army. In 1956 he became the youngest general in the Polish People's Army. From April 1968 to November 1983 he was minister of defense, from November 1983 to December 1990 Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces and Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces in time of war. He was responsible for the use of the army in the bloody suppression of the December incidents on the Baltic coast in 1970. From October 1981 to July 1989 Jaruzelski was the First Secretary of the PZPR's Central Committee, and then until December 1990 President of the Polish People's Republic (subsequently the Republic of Poland). He took the decision to enforce martial law in Poland in 1981-83 and later made unsuccessful attempts at moderate political and economic reforms, while keeping the state system intact and applying limited repression against the political opposition. In 1988-89 he was one of the initiators of the Round Table negotiations. Following the parliamentary elections in June 1989 he did not oppose the relinquishment of state power to the opposition. 

48 Mostowicz, Arnold (1914-2002)

Writer and cultural activist. Born in Lodz into a Jewish family; his father was an industrialist but also a cultural activist and theater director. Mostowicz studied medicine in Toulouse, and returned to Poland shortly before the outbreak of World War II. He worked in the Lodz ghetto as a doctor. He was imprisoned in Auschwitz. He did not return to medicine after the war, turning instead to writing. He wrote science fiction novels and popular science books. He was also a journalist and publicist. He is the author of the novel 'The Ballad of Blind Max,' and the volume 'Lodz My Forbidden Love,' in which he revealed his ties with his native city. He was the president of the Monumentum Iudaicum Lodzense Foundation.

49 The Association of Jewish War Veterans and Victims of Prosecutions during World War II (Stowarzyszenie Zydow Kombatantow i Poszkodowanych w II wojnie)

An organization of Jewish war veterans, who had taken part in armed struggle against Nazi Germany, and were victims of Holocaust persecution. The organization was founded in 1991. It has 13 sections throughout Poland, and 150 members. Its aims include providing help to Jews who were victimized during the war and spreading knowledge about the struggle and victimization of Jews during WWII. The Association established the Medal of the 50th Anniversary of the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising, which is granted to persons who have made important contributions to Polish-Jewish life and dialogue.

50 Home Army (Armia Krajowa - AK)

Conspiratorial military organization, part of the Polish armed forces operating within Polish territory (within pre-1st September 1939 borders) during World War II. Created on 14th February 1942, subordinate to the Supreme Commander and the Polish Government in Exile. Its mission was to regain Poland's sovereignty through armed combat and inciting to a national uprising. In 1943 the AK had over 300,000 members. AK units organized diversion, sabotage, revenge and partisan campaigns. Its military intelligence was highly successful. On 19th January 1945 the AK was disbanded on the order of its commander, but some of its members continued their independence activities throughout 1945-47. In 1944-45 tens of thousands of AK soldiers were exiled and interned in the USSR, in places such as Ryazan, Borovichi and Ostashkov. Soldiers of the AK continued to suffer repression in Poland until 1956; many were sentenced to death or long-term imprisonment on trumped-up charges. Right after the war, official propaganda accused the Home Army of murdering Jews who were hiding in the forests. There is no doubt that certain AK units as well as some individuals tied to AK were in fact guilty of such acts. The scale of this phenomenon is very difficult to determine, and has been the object of debates among historians.  

51 National Armed Forces (NSZ)

A conspiratorial military organization founded in Poland in 1942. The main goal of the NSZ was to fight for the independence of Poland and new western borders along the Oder-Neisse line. The NSZ's program stressed nationalism, rejected fascism and communism, and propounded the creation of a Catholic Polish State. The NSZ program was strongly anti-Semitic. In October 1943 the NSZ had some 72,500 members. The NSZ was preparing for an armed uprising, assuming that the Red Army would occupy all the Polish lands. It provided support for military intelligence, conducted supply campaigns, freed prisoners, and engaged in armed combat with divisions of the People's Army and Soviet partisans. NSZ divisions (approx. 2,000 soldiers) took part in the Warsaw Uprising. In November 1944 a part of the NSZ was transformed into the National Military Union (NZW), which was active underground in late 1945/early 1946 (scores of divisions numbering 2,000-4,000 soldiers), fighting the NKVD, UB (Security Bureau) task forces, and divisions of the UPA. In 1947 most of its cells were smashed, although some groups remained underground until the mid-1950s.

52 Endeks

Name formed from the initials of a right-wing party active in Poland during the inter-war period (ND - 'en-de'). Narodowa Demokracja [National Democracy] was founded by Roman Dmowski. Its members and supporters, known as 'Endeks,' often held anti-Semitic views.

Simon Grinshpoon

Simon Grinshpoon
Kiev
Ukraine
Interviewer: Zhanna Litinskaya
Date of interview: November 2002

Simon Grinshpoon does not look old. He is still a very interesting man. He lives with his wife in a big three-bedroom apartment in the city center of Kiev. They have three pet dogs. Simon's story is interesting, and he presents it in a witty manner. I believe he enjoyed telling me about an amazing chapter of his life.

My family background
Growing up
Our religious life
My school years
During the war
Post-war
Glossary

My family background

I don't know the name of my great-grandfather on my father's side. When he was about 13 years old, he was sent to the tsarist army. He became a cantonist 1. He served in Siberia. All he knew about his family was that he was a Jew and came from Ukraine. When he was released from his service in the army he went to Ukraine on foot. It took him three years to get there, and he settled down in Berezovka, a big Ukrainian village in Vinnitsa province. It is located near the small Jewish town of Chernivtsi. There were about 20 Jewish families living in Berezovka. My great- grandfather married a young Jewish girl, and they had many children. I have no more details about their family. One of their children was Shloime Grinshpoon, my grandfather, who was born around 1845.

My grandfather Shloime didn't have any education. He was very strong and worked as a loader at the mill in Berezovka: he carried bags with flour and grain. Grandmother Bluma was about five years younger than him. Shloime and Bluma had six children. Two of them died in infancy. The remaining four were Perl, born in 1870, Gedali, born in 1875, Liber, born in 1880, and my father Gersh, born in 1888.

They were a religious family. They followed the kashrut and celebrated Sabbath and all Jewish holidays. There was no synagogue in the village, and on big holidays like Pesach, Chanukkah and Rosh Hashanah the family went to Chernivtsi and stayed with their acquaintances. They took food (chicken, honey, bread) with them to last for the duration of their stay, because they were a big family. The adults went to the synagogue in Chernivtsi, and the children stayed at home. The older children looked after the younger ones. There was no cheder in the village either, and all children got primary education at home. Their teachers - I believe they were teachers from the cheder in Chernivtsi - taught them religion and how to read and write. Their family was wealthy, although not rich. But they had everything they needed.

My father's older sister Perl married an employee of the sugar factory, which was located in the village of Borovka. His last name was Danilovich. They had two children: a son called Naum and a daughter called Ida. Perl died after Ida was born, and her husband died before Ida turned 12. If children became orphaned, an older boy could only get married after his sister did, according to Jewish law. The boy became head of the family and had to make all necessary arrangements for his sister before he could get married. Ida married a Jewish man called Frechtman. They moved to Moscow, and he worked as chief mechanic at a plant there. Naum didn't get married. He worked in the sugar factory in Borovka like his father and later in other factories in Vinnitsa region.

Shloime's sons - Gedali, Liber and my father - helped their father at the mill from their childhood on. Gedali purchased that mill in due time and became its owner. He moved to Chernivtsi. Milling was a profitable business, and Gedali, his wife, their daughters Perl and Haika and their son Avrum were wealthy. The family was religious. They observed all traditions and celebrated holidays. In the 1930s the Soviet authorities expropriated Gedali's mill in the course of the dispossession of the kulaks 2. Avrum and his sisters' husbands were under suspicion by the Soviet authorities as former proprietors because they owned stores. They left their property and moved to the town of Mogilyov-Podolskiy where they became workers. Gedali's wife died. Gedali couldn't make his own living, and my father and Liber always supported him. Gedali died in the early 1930s.

Liber was a dealer before the revolution. He purchased grain from the local landlords and sold it taking his cut. After the revolution he moved to Yaruga, Vinnitsa region, with his family and became a farmer. Liber and his wife Sima had six children: their firstborn son Shloime, their daughters Sarah and Perl, another son called Moshe and their youngest, the twins Rachmil and Inna. Sima died in the early 1930s and Liber died in 1935. I don't know exactly what Sima died of, but I believe she may have starved to death. Shloime became a professional military. He served in Moscow. Perl married Fleider, the chief of the militia school in Odessa. Moshe lived with us until he was recruited to the army. Liber's daughter Sarah and her husband worked at primary school in the village of Satkovtsy near Yaruga. They taught writing, reading and . They raised the twins, Rachmil and Inna. During the war Shloime and Moshe were in the army. Sarah, her husband, Rachmil and Inna were in evacuation in Uzbekistan and Perl was in Sverdlovsk where her husband was chief of the district militia department. After the war all of them returned to Mogilyov-Podolskiy. That's all I know about them.

My father received education at home. From the age of 9 his brothers and he helped grandfather at the mill: He learned to sort, load and pack grain. In the course of time he learned how to do business, was in the flour trade and earned good money. He was working at the mill when, in 1909, he was introduced to my mother.

My mother, Leiba Grinshpoon [nee Goldenberg] came from the town of Yaruga. Her father Mordukhai and her mother Anya were born in the 1830s.

There were about 300 Jewish families in Yaruga. Ukrainian farmers lived in a small village near Yaruga. The people of Yaruga grew wine. Some of the Jews were craftsmen and merchants. There were tailors, shoemakers, glasscutters, carpenters, plumbers and barbers among them. Wine-growers were considered to be of a higher class than the rest of society in Yaruga. It was common opinion that they were the wealthiest and most honest people, while tailors or shoemakers, for example, could take advantage of their customers. Parents didn't allow their children to marry someone from a craftsman's family. My mother, when speaking about such cases, would even comment angrily, 'He [someone] should rather have married a Russian girl'.

There were four synagogues in Yaruga. Depending on their profession, the town people went to different synagogues. The biggest one was for richer people. It wasn't just a synagogue - this was a bes medresh, as we called it in Yiddish. There was a small synagogue called shneyders shilekhl - a little synagogue for tailors. Workers and laborers had their own synagogue, too, and there was also a prayer house for everybody. There were a rabbi, a chazzan and two shochetim in Yaruga. They all attended the main synagogue, the bes medresh. There was also a Christian church in Yaruga. On Sundays there was a big market in the central square, where farmers from the surrounding villages were selling their products.

My grandfather on my mother's side, Mordukhai Goldenberg, was estate manager for a landlord called Vinogradsky. Vinogradsky had a big estate in Yaruga. He relied on my grandfather's expertise very much. My grandfather's advice on all matters of everyday life was much valued by many people. Ukrainians called him 'Mordukhai, the Smart'. After my grandfather died his son Isaac replaced him at this position.

My mother was the 13th child in the family. She was born in 1886 when my grandmother was already 51 years old. She couldn't breastfeed her, and so my mother was fed by her older sister Hana, who was the fourth child in the family. Hana, her husband Bencion and their children lived in the town of Tomashpol, 60 km from Yaruga. Bencion was a merchant of Guild I 3. Bencion and Hana had eight children. Hana had her fourth baby when my mother was born. Hana came with her baby to Yaruga and stayed there until she could stop feeding my mother. I didn't know any of them, because Hana and Bencion died before I was born, and their children were lost in towns and cities during the revolution and the Civil War [1918-1921].

I also have some information about my mother's older sister Dina. Dina married a merchant of Guild I called Fishman. They lived in Odessa and had two daughters: Charna and Lisa. They also had sons, but I don't know their names. Dina was a French teacher at the school in Odessa. She died some time before the revolution of 1917. Charna moved to France in 1916.

My mother's brothers Moisey and Isaac were the closest to our family. Moisey was born in 1865. He studied the Torah and the Talmud. This was all he did in life. He wasn't very religious. He studied religion as a science. It was of much interest to him. They observed the main religious rules in the family, but it was more a tribute to tradition than their true faith. Moisey was married three times. I didn't know his first two wives. They died before I was born. I knew his third wife, Dora. Moisey died in 1935. He had five children. His two daughters of his first wife, Luba and Sonia, died in Mogilyov-Podolskiy after the war. His son and daughter of his second wife moved to France during the Civil War, and Abram, Moisey's youngest son, returned from the front to Yaruga [during World War II]. He died around 1960.

Uncle Isaac was a very intelligent man. His wife Frieda died some time before World War II, and his children, two sons and five daughters, moved to different towns. Isaac was alone in Yaruga at the beginning of the war. He didn't want to evacuate. He survived the occupation, and so did all other Jews in Yaruga: They were supported and rescued by their Ukrainian fellow villagers. Isaac died in Yaruga in 1975 at the age of 90. Isaac's children received higher education and lived in big cities. His son Ilia Goldenberg worked for the designer Korolyov 4. He built space centers in Baykonur [Kazakhstan] and Kapustin Yar [Russia].

My mother Leiba was educated at home. When it was time for her to get married (her parents had died by then), Moisey and Isaac decided to use the assistance of a shadkhanim - matchmakers. Shadkhanim wore a cap, a tie and a red necktie - this was how other people knew who they were. The shadkhanim had information about girls and young men in the surrounding towns and villages. They traveled to other towns to make initial presentations of the potential fiancés until it came to the arrangement of engagements, which again were followed by weddings. They charged money for their services in advance. There were plunderers among the matchmakers, who escaped with the money. My parents met one another thanks to a shadkhan. Uncle Moisey and Isaac prepared dowry for my mother; they had the wedding gown made for her and went to Berezovka to meet her future husband and make wedding arrangements. My mother didn't get any pieces of furniture or any other things from my grandfather's house, though. My Uncle Isaac told me that my mother and father liked each other from the first time they met. They had a religious wedding.

Growing up

After the wedding my mother moved to Berezovka. My father worked at the mill. My mother was a housewife. My brother Mordukhai was born in 1910. He was named after my grandfather. Perl was born in 1913, and I was born on 10th May 1916. I received the Jewish name Shloime at birth, after my grandfather on my father's side.

When the Civil War began, there were raids by gangs 5 - the Reds 6, the Whites 7 and the Greens 8 were robbing Jewish houses, raping women and killing people. I don't know whether it had any impact on my family, but the general situation was very troublesome. My mother persuaded my father to move to Yaruga. She wanted to live in a place with a bigger Jewish population. They moved to Yaruga at the beginning of 1918. My mother was right thinking that they would be safer in Yaruga. Jews and Ukrainians always supported each other and got along well. The Jews formed a self- defense unit and defended their town along with Ukrainian supporters from the village attached to Yaruga. My father and his brother Liber were brave men and weren't afraid of anybody.

Once a gang of Denikin units 9 - twelve men on horses - came into town. They were drunk and began to chase young girls and scare children. They demanded vodka and food. While they were drinking, my father called Liber, and the two of them took away their rifles and beat them until they climbed their horses and left. Of course we knew that they would be back to take revenge, and so our families stayed in the mountains, it was a mountainous area where we lived, for about two weeks. The bandits looked for us, but couldn't find us, as our neighbors told my parents later. The locals brought us food and told us that bandits had been searching for my father and Liber in the mountains for a few days. The local guys that joined the gang were trying to talk them into leaving the area. They liked my father and were afraid of him. They said in Ukrainian, 'Gersh and Liber are hiding there. They will kill us'. After two weeks the Denikin units retreated, and my father and Liber returned to the town. I know this from what I was told. I was only 3 years old then.

My first clear childhood memory is of my wailing for my older brother Mordukhai. My mother was crying and people were in mourning. In spring 1919 he was operated on his appendix and got infected. He was ill for half a year before he died.

During the first years after we moved to Yaruga we had a pretty hard time. We didn't have a house of our own. My father didn't have a job. My mother's brothers, Isaac and Moisey, and my father's brothers, Gedali and Liber, were supporting us. My father's mother Bluma lived with us for some time after we came to Yaruga. After Gedali's wife died, grandmother Bluma moved to his house to help with the housekeeping. Some time afterwards she fell and broke her hip. My mother and Liber's wife Sima suggested that Bluma moved into one of their families, and that they would be looking after her. Bluma decided to stay one month with Liber and Sima, and the next month with us. She moved from one house to the other at the end of each month. She was treated with high respect in both families. It was a very wise decision of hers. It was usually my chore to bring her food and water. Once I refused to do it for whatever reason, and my mother explained to me that grandmother was the most important person in the house, and that it was a great honor to look after her. My grandmother died in 1924.

In the beginning we lived with Moisey and Isaac and their families, but later we rented an apartment. We paid about 400 rubles per month, which was a lot of money. It was my mother's dream to have a house of her own. My mother had a golden watch on a golden chain and a winter coat with fox fur. These were the two most valuable things my family possessed. In 1924 my father went to Mogilyov-Podolskiy and sold them for 320 rubles. My parents bought an old shabby house with a thatched roof from the miller for this money. Actually, they only bought a plot of land on which they could build a house of their own. However, there was no money left for that. Uncle Gedali brought us three horse-driven carts full of wheat and one with flour. He also gave my father 500 rubles. My mother didn't want to accept it, saying that they wouldn't be able to pay back the debt. Gedali insisted that we accepted what he was giving us. Thus, Gedali helped us to build a big brick house with a huge wine cellar. We didn't know that the time of collective property was approaching and that the vineyard wouldn't be ours.

We had four rooms in this house: a living room, a dining room, our parents' bedroom and a children's room. We also had a kitchen with a big Russian stove in it. There were sheds and a stable. My father liked horses. He used to borrow a starved horse from the collective farm and keep it for a month or so to feed it up, then return it to the collective farm and take another miserable horse.

My mother was always kind of a leader in our family. She decided that instead of doing random work my father should start his own business. My parents decided to grow wine. In 1923 my father took a loan from the Agricultural Bank, and in association with another farmer he bought a small plot of land. Wine wasn't grown in Ukraine at that time and they had to order it from France. In the summer of 1924 my father planted the vines. Vines yield grapes after four year. To make a living my father decided to start making wine. He borrowed money from widow Milshtein, who had three daughters and loaned money for her daughters' dowry at 3% per month. My father bought grapes and made very good wine. He learned how to make wine barrels and even sold them. My father didn't sell wine before Christmas when it became more expensive because of the season. He managed to pay back his debts and bought grapes again and again until the time had come to harvest his own grapes. However, there was a terrible rainstorm in the first year that destroyed our harvest. My mother cried, but my father felt very optimistic. He bought grapes again and made wine.

The following year we had plenty of grapes and my father made his own wine. But then collectivization 10 began, and my father had to join the collective farm. He was reluctant to give away everything that he had worked for so hard. He joined the Jewish wine making collective farm. [Jewish collective farms were formed for the Jewish population living in rural areas in the course of collectivization in Ukraine.] There were three collective farms in Yaruga: one Jewish and two Ukrainian. My father never regretted joining this collective farm. He was paid well for his work, and the people were hard-working and wealthy. My father was involved in wine- growing in the beginning, but later he switched to a more familiar activity and became a miller.

Our religious life

I inherited the love for our home from my mother. I especially loved Friday evenings - Sabbath. I still recall the smell of bread baked in the oven. The house was kept very clean. We scrubbed and washed the floors and whitewashed the ground floor. On Friday my mother made bread in the stove to last for a week, and challah for Saturday. She also made cookies and strudels while the oven was hot. She made food for Saturday: gefilte fish, tzymes 11, carrot tzymes and stewed cabbage. She put the food that she made for Saturday into ceramic pots and wrapped them in pillows and blankets. Some of the food was kept in the oven. My father came back home from work on Friday and I brought him hot water to wash himself. As soon as the first little star appeared my mother put on a shawl and lit two candles. There was wine on the table and a fresh challah. My father said a prayer for the wine and bread, broke off a piece of challah and dipped it into the wine.

On Saturday my parents went to the bes medresh [synagogue]. It wasn't allowed to carry a prayer book to the synagogue, and my father either left it in the synagogue on Friday evening or asked me to carry it for him. My father was a kohen. Once upon a time the kohanim were the priests who conducted services in the Temple. [In the First Temple, destroyed by the Babylonian king, and the Second Temple, destroyed by the Romans.] The kohanim had quite a few responsibilities. My father said a special prayer blessing the community. He was a very respectable man. Certain things were prohibited for a kohen: my father wasn't allowed to stay in the same room with the deceased, and he was not allowed to enter cemetery grounds. He said farewell to his mother and son standing outside the cemetery fence. On Saturday, when my parents returned from the synagogue, a Ukrainian boy came to make fire in the stove and put down the candles. The adults weren't allowed to do it. It was only allowed for children under 13 years of age. My mother took our Saturday lunch from the oven and we had a festive meal.

We observed all Jewish traditions and celebrated holidays at home. Although my mother wasn't fanatically religious she strictly followed the kashrut. Once my sister Polia fell ill with mumps. The doctor suggested to apply pork fat to her neck. My mother was terrified at the thought of bringing pork fat into a Jewish house. She ran to uncle Moisey, who was reading Jewish books all his life and knew all Jewish laws, to ask his advice. Moisey thought about it, looked into his books and told my mother that it was all right to violate the rules for the sake of a sick child.

I liked Jewish holidays - Pesach, Rosh Hashanah, and Chanukkah - very much. I don't remember the details of our celebrations and at the time I wasn't interested in the history of these holidays, but I remember the warm and festive atmosphere at home and in town on those days.

I liked weddings most of all. After young people were introduced to each other by matchmakers, their parents paid visits to one another to make arrangements for the wedding. Sometimes the weddings didn't take place because parents didn't quite like each other. The next step after introduction was engagement. Engagement was a party with many guests that were all dressed up. During the engagement the ketubbah was drawn up. It included all terms and conditions of the couple's future life, their house or apartment, and dowry. The wedding took place six months later. Invitations to the wedding were sent out in advance. All those who received invitations to the wedding prepared wedding gifts. Nobody ever discussed wedding gifts with the others. People gave the gifts that they could afford. Guests came to Yaruga from other towns and even as far as from Kiev and Moscow. They came with their children and elderly parents and stayed at the bride and bridegroom's neighbors and relatives.

The wedding started in the synagogue. The shammash erected the chuppah, four fancy carved posts and a velvet cover in the yard of the synagogue. The bride and bridegroom entered the chuppah and all guests walked around it seven times. The bride and bridegroom put rings onto one another's fingers. Afterwards wine was poured into glasses, and the guests congratulated the married couple. Then everyone went to the house where the wedding party was to take place and had a shot of vodka and sweets. Later dinner with all kind of food was served, and that was when the real party began. There was music playing and guests were eating, dancing and enjoying themselves until late.

When I was 4 years old, I went to cheder along with other boys of my age. We studied the basics of religion, Yiddish, arithmetic and other subjects. We studied at somebody's home, kids and teachers together, taking turns: one month we were at my home and the next month at somebody else's. We had vacations at Pesach and Rosh Hashanah.

My school years

In 1924 I went to the Jewish school in Yaruga. There were two schools in our town: a Ukrainian lower secondary school and a Jewish primary school. Since I could read and write, I finished primary school in a year. The Ukrainian school was also turned into a four-year school, and so I went to the Ukrainian lower secondary school in Subbotovka [3 km from Yaruga]. Every day I went to school on foot. In the season when roads were bad my father rented a room for me in Subbotovka. However, I went home every Friday to spend the holiday at home. My father didn't want me to return home when the weather was nasty, but I couldn't imagine to spend Sabbath at any place but home. My mother was always happy to have me back home. We spent Sabbath together, and the following day I returned to Subbotovka.

My mother wanted me to have the bar mitzvah ritual, which is performed when Jewish boys come of age, turning 13 and one day. From this day on a boy can pray with adults and can even get married. It sometimes happened that after turning 13, a young fiancé was taken to the family of his future wife. This family gave him professional education and provided for him until the young people got married - which often happened only a few years later. I wished to avoid bar mitzvah. I was afraid that if they found out at school, they wouldn't allow me to become a pioneer. But my parents insisted. I had a teacher that came to our home to teach me how to put on the tefillin. He taught me prayers and traditions, and we read the Torah and the Talmud. We had the bar mitzvah party on the Saturday following my 13th birthday. My mother was cooking the food and preparing for the party. That Saturday my relatives took me to the synagogue, where the rabbi said prayers and put the tefillin on my forehead. We had many guests, and my mother was very happy. By the way, I never became a pioneer. It wasn't mandatory at that time, and I wasn't really eager to become one.

After finishing school in 1930 I entered the College for Electrification and Mechanization of Agriculture, located in the town of Bar, 60 km from Yaruga. I stayed in the hostel for about six months and then ran away, back home. I was only 14, and it was difficult for me to be away from my parents and our nice, cozy home. My mother begged me to continue my studies, but I refused to leave home. I stayed at home for almost a year and spent most of my time at the frontier post [Yaruga was located at the border of Romania]. I liked to take care of horses and do the rounds with the frontier guards. It was my dream to become a professional military, but my mother was strictly against it. She insisted that I entered the Construction College in Mogilyov-Podolskiy in 1931. I lived with our former neighbor from Yaruga, Motia Shteinberg. My mother sent me some food - pancakes, cutlets, stew, eggs and strudels - every week.

After the NEP was over, the period of industrialization began. The authorities began to collect valuables and jewelry from the people for the development of industries in the country. It mostly applied to Jews. The first round of expropriation took place from 1927-28. At night - inhabitants of our town called this campaign the 'red night' - the chairman of the village council, the commander of the frontier post and the chief of militia went from house to house, demanding money and valuables from the people. They took money, jewelry, watches and silver kosher utilities. We didn't have anything of value, and the unit left our house empty-handed.

The second round of expropriation took place in 1931. They came to our house again, and my father said that we didn't have anything. After a few months my father was summoned to the frontier unit and arrested. They believed that we had valuables but were hiding them from the authorities and didn't want to give any to them. My father was sent to jail. I brought him parcels with food and things that he needed every day. The Jewish investigation officer, Belik, demanded that my father hand over jewelry and valuables by threatening him that he would be sentenced to long-term imprisonment and that the family would be deported to Siberia. Once, late at night, somebody knocked on the window. It was my father. He said that his inmates had advised him to give the investigation officer three golden coins. He was to give them to him on the following day. We needed money to buy the gold at the market, so I went to Yaruga at night to get money. I ran 20 km. I had a cup of tea at home and started my way back. I returned to Mogilyov in the morning. My father bought the coins at the market and took them to the officer. That way he bought his freedom.

The college where I studied was closed. I went to Kiev in 1932 and entered the Construction College. There were two departments in this college: a Jewish and a Ukrainian one. We studied the same subjects, only in different languages. There was no admission to the Jewish department, so I entered the Ukrainian one. I lived in the dormitory. I always missed home, but I understood that I had to get a profession. In the beginning I went to the railway station every morning to look at the sign 'Kiev-Mogilyov-Podolskiy' on the railcar, so that I could at least see the name of my hometown. Later I met new friends: Matvey Russanovskiy and Zinoviy Pugachevskiy - Jews, and some Ukrainian friends.

I became a Komsomol member 12, and we went to parades and for walks in Kiev together. I stopped observing Jewish holidays and traditions. It was out of fashion at the time. Besides, it was next to impossible to follow the kashrut rules in the dormitory. We were young and had a good appetite. We ate whatever we had. After finishing college I got a job assignment at the Khmelnik road construction site of the NKVD Road Construction Division 13. I worked for a year, but kept dreaming about the military uniform. I went to Leningrad and entered a military college there. I didn't tell my parents that I was going to Leningrad. When I told them that I had entered the college they got very upset, but they understood that I was old enough to make my own decisions. I finished a two-year advanced course in 1939. I got a job assignment in Field Engineer Battalion 239 in Chernigov.

About half a year or so later, our military unit was sent to Poland where, according to the Molotov-Ribbentrop agreement 14, the Soviet forces occupied a part of Poland and the Baltic republics. The military division from Kiev lost about 1,500 militaries. Our battalion had no casualties. The local population welcomed us warmly. The Jewish population talked to me. There was anti-Semitism in Poland, and it was a surprise to them to meet an officer that was a Jew. They couldn't believe that people had equal rights in the Soviet Union.

During the war

At the beginning of the war I was at the new western frontier in Lvov, where our unit was involved in the installation of fortifications. I was acting as commanding officer, because the commanding officers had left for Lvov for a meeting the day before. Later I understood that that meeting was contrived. None of the officers that had gone there returned. They were either arrested by NKVD officers or captured by the Germans. Actually, the Red Army was beheaded before the war. In the morning of 22nd June 15 the soldier on duty woke me up. He said there was motion and the sound of engines on the side of Poland occupied by the Germans. At 4 o'clock in the morning the bombing began. We didn't know that it was the beginning of the war, but we prepared our defenses. We stood firm for two days and then we took to retreat. In Ternopol we boarded a train to Kiev.

We were sent to the north-western area of Kiev. My sister Polia married a man from Kiev, Jacob Sementsov, in 1938. Jacob was a Jew, and his real surname was Sohn. Since his father was a NEP-man he decided to change his name to avoid any problems in this regard. Polia and her baby daughter Nelia were in Kiev, and her husband Jacob was in the army. I asked my commanding officer for a truck and drove Polia and her daughter to the parents of my Jewish fellow soldier.

I soon found out that my parents would come to Kiev. My father had bought a horse in Yaruga and they came to Kiev on a horse-driven cart. My parents stayed with Jacob's parents, David and Nehama Sohn. I asked my commanding officer if I could go on leave and went to see my parents in Kiev. We met in Tolstoy Square in the center of Kiev. My mother hugged me and asked 'Sonny, have you killed many fascists?' It was the eve of Yom Kippur. My mother told me that she had bought a rooster. I bought ten loaves of bread at a store - I had my military card with me - and gave them to my parents. My mother wanted to save the bread for the holiday. I asked my parents to evacuate and promised to help them leave, but they refused. They claimed that they were too old to go. I said good-bye and returned to my unit.

Our engineering battalion got an order to blast the bridges over the Dnepr River. It was clear that Kiev was to be left to the Germans. On 18th September we made our way in the direction of Yagotin. On 19th September, when we were in the vicinity of Borispol, we found out that we were encircled. We managed to get out of the encirclement. We were followed by the fascists, and near Berezan we separated into smaller groups heading East. I was with my friend Lieutenant Gonelidze, a Georgian, and assistant doctor Edi Ruda, a Jew. From 22nd September until 3rd October we were on the way to the East. We went at night and slept in haystacks during the day. We ate rye, whet grains that we could find and drank water from lakes or puddles. On the night of 3rd October we settled down in a small grove for the night. In the morning we were woken up by the dogs barking. We were encircled by the Germans and captured.

The fascists beat Gonelidze and yelled, 'Jude'. He shouted back that he was not Jewish, but Georgian. They didn't believe him. I was beaten, too, but I pretended I was Ukrainian. 'Das ist Cossack', they said. [Cossack is an old expression for a Ukrainian.] Edi had a cap with a red piping, and they thought she was a commissar and beat her badly. We were convoyed to a clearing in the wood. There were about 150 other captives there. Most of them were refugees from Kiev. There were Jews among them. They were ordered to take off their clothes and shoes. Then the Germans harnessed all people to carts loaded with their dead militaries - ten to twelve Russians and four to five Jews were pulling one cart. Gonelidze was among the Jews. We were directed to pull the carts to a nearby village. Some Jews fell on the way, and the Germans were killing them. Over 15 people were killed before we reached the village. In the village all remaining Jews were shot. My friend Gonelidze perished with them. I never saw Edi again either. She must have been killed, too.

We stayed overnight in the barns, and on 4th October we got on our way, convoyed by the Germans. I escaped in the field when we were walking on a road between corn and sunflower plants. The Germans couldn't follow me because they couldn't leave the others. They shot their automatic guns, and that was it. Lieutenant Dotsenko escaped with me. We covered 80 km when we were captured by policemen that took us to a camp for prisoners of war. The camp was fenced with barbed wire and when somebody approached it they were shot by the Germans. We didn't get any food or water. Inside the camp there was a special area for Jews, fenced with barbed wire. Three times a day all other inmates were told to gather near the Jewish area. The Jews were forced to sing and dance. They killed all those that couldn't or didn't want to perform. On the 4th day all Jews were killed. The Germans brought in interpreters and policemen to search for Jews, political officers and partisans. There were my fellow soldiers among the inmates, but they didn't turn me in.

From there we were taken to the Borispol camp. I escaped from there with my friend Borovik. We covered 15 km and were captured again near the village of Vishenki. We were sent to the Darnitsa camp. From there the camp was evacuated farther West. I ended up in the camp for prisoners of war in Boguniya, Zhytomir region. Every day 180-200 inmates died of dysentery there. I got swollen up from starving. We slept embracing each other to stay warm. A few people died in the barrack every night. The fascists didn't know that I was a Jew. Fortunately we didn't have any washing facilities, because if I had to undress everyone would have known that I was a Jew. [Because he was circumcised.] I made the acquaintance of Kostia Ovchinnikov from Leningrad and Victor Strelnikov from Moscow, and we decided to escape.

Soon we got a chance to escape. The management of the camp needed geodesists to make a layout plan of the camp. I was a construction worker and offered my services. So did Kostia and Victor. We received a compass, paper, pencils and rulers, and we began to do our work. One of the facilities was outside the fence, and we were allowed to go there to perform our task. We escaped to the highway from there and ran away. This happened on 19th December 1941. I don't know whether it was the Jewish or Christian God that was helping us, but we went all the way across Zhytomir, Kiev, Chernigov and Kursk regions.

We were joined by other people heading East. There was even one German man, Ernst Fritz, who didn't want to be with the Germans. On 24th April we crossed the front line. We were separated immediately, and I never saw Kostia or Victor again. The commanding officer of the unit, where we arrived, received me because I had information about the enemy. He thanked me for the information, and then I was to be heard by special units regarding the possibility of my cooperation with the Germans. The hearing lasted eleven months. I was staying in prisons that were following the armed forces to Riazan, Borisoglebsk, Bryansk.

I kept writing letters to Khrushchev 16 and Stalin asking for their support, but it was all in vain. Their main argumentation was that I was a Jew, but managed to escape - this was impossible and could therefore only mean that I was a traitor and a spy. In spring 1943 a commission from Moscow came to the camp where I was. They selected 1,000 officers of all ranks. On Stalin's orders an assault detachment was formed. It was to be sent to the most dangerous spots at the front. We received identity cards, specifying the rank, and were taken to Podmoskoviye where we had to drill for about a month. Then we were given uniforms, weapons, digging tools, flak jackets and sent to the vicinity of Smolensk. We were to start attacks in front of our army troops. Within two months only about 150 of the 1,000 survived. I was awarded a medal for 'combat merits'. Then I received my officer's shoulder straps and was appointed engineer of the Rifle Regiment 12, Division 32.

On 20th September 1944 I was severely wounded on my right hand and leg in the vicinity of Riga. I was dismissed from the army and returned to Kiev. I went to the address of the Sohns' house. Their neighbors told me that my in- laws and parents didn't go to Babi Yar 17 on 29th September. They stayed locked in their apartment, but they were betrayed by the janitor of the house who reported them to the police. They were all shot in Babi Yar around 10th October. I was looking for this janitor all around Kiev. If I had found him, I would have smothered him with my own hands.

Post-war

I found my sister Polia in Kiev. Her husband Jacob perished at the front. Polia and Nelia were in evacuation in Syzran, Kuibyshev region. Polia washed dishes there to make a living. Later she became the director of a canteen in a military hospital. When Polia returned to Kiev in 1944, her apartment was occupied by another family. She got a room in an outhouse in the yard. Polia never remarried. Her daughter Nelia graduated from the Odessa Agricultural Institute and got married. She lived with her husband and son in Odessa. Nelia got cancer and died in Odessa at the age of 36. Her son lives in Germany now. My sister Polia died in 1991.

I got a job as a construction foreman at the Pechersk Utility Services Department. I worked there a few years until the early 1950s. During the campaign against cosmopolites 18 and the Doctors' Plot 19, I was accused of betraying the state. A criminal case against me was started, and I lost my job. The case was stopped because I wasn't guilty, but I couldn't find a job. Nobody told me that it was because I was a Jew, but every time they had some argument why they couldn't hire me. However, I was finally hired by a construction man that was well known in Kiev. His name was Barengoltz, and he was a Jew. I worked with his organization - Ukrainian Road Construction - for over thirty years.

At the beginning of 1946 I visited Yaruga. I met my Uncle Isaac. He had survived the occupation. Yaruga was the only place where Ukrainians helped to save almost all Jews. There were no occupants in town. The former chairman of the village council, Strizhevskiy, was working at the commandant office in Mogilyov-Podolskiy during the war, and he warned his fellow villagers about the scheduled raids. When Germans or Romanians came to the village, Ukrainians went outside their houses to announce that there were no 'zhydy' [Jews] in their village. They gave shelter to their Jewish neighbors in their own houses. When the Red Army liberated the town, the Soviet authorities sentenced the village monitor, Korovianko, to ten years of imprisonment for cooperation with the fascists. He had personally saved dozens of Jews! My Uncle Isaac collected signatures of all the Jews in Yaruga that had been saved by Ukrainians and Korovianko, went to Moscow and managed to have Korovianko released. In Yaruga, Kuzma Bachinskiy told me that they were all trying to convince my father to stay with them in the village, but he was eager to reunite with his daughter. I couldn't stay in Yaruga for long. I had tears in my eyes and felt great pain in my heart. I left. I visited Yaruga last year when a film about the righteous men of Yaruga was being made.

In 1946 I married a Jewish woman, Sophia Baram. I met her visiting my acquaintances at the celebration of some Soviet holiday. Our family life wasn't a success, and I don't feel like talking about it. She was a selfish and sickly woman. We didn't have children. Besides, she got mentally ill and died in 1985.

My second wife, Elena Bobkova, is Russian. She comes from Bryansk region. Her parents died when she was a small child, and she finished secondary school at a children's home. She worked as a secretary in various offices. She didn't have an opportunity to continue her education. She was married, but her marriage didn't work out. She moved to Kiev at the invitation of the military registration office. They had heard about her diligence and wished to employ her. She lived in a communal apartment for some time before she moved in with me. Elena's son lives in Odessa. We get along well with him.

Elena remembers all Jewish holidays, she buys Jewish calendars every year and reminds me to buy matzah in memory of my parents. I'm an atheist and don't observe any Jewish traditions or celebrate holidays. It's too late to start changing now. On 29th September I come home earlier from work, we get flowers and we go to Babi Yar where my parents and many other Jews from Kiev perished. I know that many Jewish organizations have been established in Kiev lately. It's wonderful that people can communicate and get assistance. I don't go to any of these organizations. I can work and provide for myself. I still work and don't need their assistance, but I know that their support is very important to many people.

Many of my friends left for Israel or Germany. I'm always interested in what's going on in Israel, and I like the country. If I were able to leave and do something for the country I would. But I don't want to be dependent on anybody there. Germany is out of the question. I haven't forgiven the Germans for what they did. And in general, I shall not change my nationality, convictions or motherland.

Glossary

1 Cantonist

Younger boys that were trained for service in the tsarist army during the reign of Nikolai I. This institution was introduced in 1827 and it became compulsory for Jewish families to let their sons to serve in the army. Usually they were children from poor Jewish families.

2 Kulaks

The majority of wealthy peasants that refused to join collective farms and give their grain and property to Soviet power were called kulaks, declared enemies of the people and exterminated in the 1930s.

3 Guild I

In tsarist Russia merchants belonged to Guild I, II or III. Merchants of Guild I were allowed to trade with foreign merchants, while the others were allowed to trade only within Russia.

4 Korolyov, Sergey Pavlovich (1907-1966)

Soviet designer of guided missiles, rockets, and spacecraft. Essentially apolitical, he did not join the Communist Party until after Stalin's death in 1953. He was the guiding genius behind the Soviet space-flight program until his death, and he was buried in the Kremlin wall on Red Square. 5 Gangs: During the civil war in 1918-1920 there were all kinds of gangs in the Ukraine. Their members came from all the classes of former Russia, but most of them were peasants. Their leaders used political slogans to dress their criminal acts. These gangs were anti-Soviet and anti-Semitic.

6 Reds

Red (Soviet) Army supporting the Soviet authorities.

7 Whites

Tsarist forces defending the monarchy in Russia.

8 Greens

members of the gang, headed by Ataman Zeleniy [his nickname, means 'green' in Russian).

9 Denikin, Anton Ivanovich (1872-1947)

White Army general. During the civil war he fought against the Red Army in the South of Ukraine.

10 Collectivization

In the late 1920s - early 1930s private farms were liquidated and collective farms established by force on a mass scale in the USSR. Many peasants were arrested during this process. As a result of the collectivization, the number of farmers and the amount of agricultural production was greatly reduced and famine struck in the Ukraine, the Northern Caucasus, the Volga and other regions in 1932-33.

11 Tzymes

Sweet bean or carrot dish.

12 Komsomol

Communist youth organization created by the Communist Party to make sure that the state would be in control of the ideological upbringing and spiritual development of young people until they were almost 30.

13 NKVD

People's Committee of Internal Affairs; it took over from the GPU, the state security agency, in 1934.

14 Molotov-Ribbentrop agreement

Non-aggression pact between Germany and the Soviet Union, which became known under the name of Molotov-Ribbentrop agreement. Engaged in a border war with Japan in the Far East and fearing the German advance in the West, the Soviet government began secret negotiations for a non-aggression pact with Germany in 1939. In August 1939 it suddenly announced the conclusion of a Soviet-German agreement of friendship and non-aggression. This agreement contained a secret clause providing for the partition of Poland and for Soviet and German spheres of influence in Eastern Europe.

15 Great Patriotic War

On 22 June 1941 at 5 o'clock in the morning Nazi Germany attacked the Soviet Union without declaring war. This was the beginning of the so-called Great Patriotic War.

16 Khrushchev, Nikita (1894-1971)

Soviet communist leader. After Stalin's death in 1953, he became first secretary of the Central Committee, in effect the head of the Communist Party of the USSR. In 1956, during the 20th Party Congress, Khrushchev took an unprecedented step and denounced Stalin and his methods. He was deposed as premier and party head in October 1964. In 1966 he was dropped from the Party's Central Committee.

17 Babi Yar

Babi Yar is the site of the first mass shooting of Jews that was carried out openly by the fascists on 29th and 30th September 1941, in Kiev. During three years of occupation (1941-1943) the fascists were killing thousands of people at Babi Yar every day: communists, partisans, and prisoners of war. They were people of different nationalities.

18 Fight against the cosmopolites

Anti-Semitic campaign initiated by Stalin against intellectuals: teachers, doctors and scientists.

19 Doctors' Plot

The so-called Doctors' Plot was a set of accusations deliberately forged by Stalin's government and the KGB against Jewish doctors in the Kremlin hospital charging them with the murder of outstanding Bolsheviks. The Plot was started in 1952, but was never finished because Stalin died in 1953.

Fehér Józsefné

Fehér Józsefné  

Az interjút készítette: Sárdi Dóra 
Az interjúkészítés időpontja: 2002. január 

  • Életrajz

A nagyapám Schlesinger Jóska volt. A nagypapát nem láttam, mert akkorra már meghalt, amikor én születtem. Gondolom, Zalaegerszegen élt. Azt hiszem, kocsmájuk volt. A nagymamám Singer Malvin. Ő a deportálásban halt meg. Nagyon stramm, idős néni volt, az apukám nagyon szerette. Malvin nagyon vallásos volt. Sájtlit hordott. És amikor öreg volt már, vitték a templomba, de nem mondott volna le arról, hogy elmulasszon egy ceremóniát is! Az egyik lányánál, Pepinél lakott, amire én emlékszem. A Pepi kóser háztartást vezetett, kizárólag miatta.

A nagymama eredeti háza nagy volt, kétlakásos: elöl is meg hátul is egy önálló lakás. Volt egy nagy veranda, be volt futtatva hajnalkával. Pár lépcsőn kellett felmenni a verandára. Akkor egy nagy konyha következett. Ott folyt az élet. Onnan nyíltak a szobák. A kocsma nem ott volt, hanem azt hiszem, valahol a vasút felé volt. Ott béreltek egy helyiséget.

Tizenegy gyerekük volt. Ezek mind zalaegerszegiek voltak [A felsorolásból úgy tűnik, hogy tizenkét gyermekük volt, és csak születési helyüket tekintve voltak zalaegerszegiek. – A szerk.]. Mindenki magyarosított, csak az én apukám nem. Az egyik volt Dr. Sándor Márton. Ő orvos volt. Egy gyereke volt. Márton bácsi meghalt még deportálás előtt. Ilike, a lánya is meghalt [Auschwitzban 1944-ben].

Volt a Jenő. Ő Sándor Jenő lett. Zalaszentivánon lakott a családjával [Zalaszentiván kisközség Zala vm.-ben, 1920-ban a lakosság lélekszáma nem érte el az 1000 főt sem (900 fő). – A szerk.]. Neki is volt, azt hiszem, mészáros üzlete meg kocsmája, ha jól emlékszem. Akkor volt a Gizi, a férje Herczog Elemér volt. Ők felköltöztek Pestre. Aztán volt a Pepi. A férje Guttmann Náci volt. Marhakereskedő volt. Két gyerekük volt. A Pepiékhez le szoktunk menni, és akkor a Náci papa meg Pepi kártyáztak. Lementünk, mit tudom én, három órakor, hát úgy hatig ott kártyáztak.

Aztán volt a Julcsa. Jánosházán laktak a férjével, de borzalmasan vallásos lehetett, mert a nagymama oda szeretett menni, a Julcsához [Jánosháza Vas vm.-ben lévő nagyközség, lakosainak száma a század első évtizedeiben 4200 fő körül mozgott, élénk marha- és gabonapiaca volt. – A szerk.]. Volt a Manó, az földbirtokos volt, Likóspusztán, Győr mellett volt birtoka. Aztán volt az Annus néni. Ő kozmetikus volt. Férjhez ment egy állatorvoshoz Sopronba. Akkor volt a Lotti Amerikában. Aztán volt a Pali. Ő Szabó Pál lett. Keszthelyen lett kereskedő [Keszthely a század első évtizedeiben még nagyközség, de járási székhely Zala megyében. Lakosainak száma 1910-ben 7500, 1930-ban már 10 600 fő volt. Számos közhivatala, iskolája és egyéb közintézménye volt. – A szerk.]. Aztán volt a Guci, Auguszta, de mi Gucinak szólítottuk. Ő is Győrben élt. Apukámnak volt egy ikertestvére, a Lina.

Az anyai nagymamám Hirschson Hermina, férjezett Löbl Imréné volt. A nagyapámmal nem találkoztam, azt hiszem, a születésem előtt halt meg. Csáktornyaiak voltak. Csáktornyán egyszer voltunk, az apukám is jött velünk [Csáktornya: járási székhely nagyközség Zala vm.-ben (Muraköz); lakosainak száma 1910-ben 5000 fő körül volt; számos járási szintű hivatala, iskolája (állami tanítóképző, polgári fiú- és lányiskola, iparostanonc-iskola), több gyára (pezsgőgyára, likőr- és konyakgyár, ecetgyár) és más közintézményei voltak, élénk fa- és gabonakereskedelme, valamint marhavásárai. A trianoni békeszerződést követően Jugoszláviához – amelyet  1929-ig Szerb-Horvát-Szlovén Királyságnak hívtak – került. – A szerk.]. Két gyerekük volt a nagyszüleimnek.

Melánia volt az én anyukám. Nándor volt a testvére. Nándor volt a fiatalabb. Ő Zalaegerszegen üzletvezető volt egy porcelánüzletben, ahol olyan porcelán mütyüröket árultak, amiket az ember a vitrinbe tesz. Volt egy fia, az Imike. A családban otthon magyarul is beszéltek, de többet németül. Melániának magyar volt az anyanyelve, de perfekt német volt. Sőt, még szerbül is tudott. Hermina néni, a nagymamám ott lakott nálunk. Két szoba volt a lakásban, amit béreltünk, az első szobában a nagymama és én aludtunk, és a szüleim külön szobában. A nagymama egy díványon aludt, én meg az ágyban. Hermina is nagyon jól tudott sütni. Nálunk volt egy ilyen nagy doboz, az tele volt aprósüteménnyel. Befőtt is rengeteg volt. Akkora spejzunk volt, hogy az nem igaz.

Néhai Schlesinger Mihály az én apukám. Az első világháborúban az orosz fronton volt, fogságba esett, hét évig volt ott. Ott kinn beiktatták kommunista érzelműre. Ez abból állt, hogy volt egy férfi, aki szintén kint volt a Szovjetunióban, és amikor jött a strandra, ahol anyukám dolgozott, apukám azonnal elkezdett vele oroszul beszélni. Az apukám, amikorra már én emlékszem, textilüzletben dolgozott mint segéd. Szombaton is dolgozott, akkor azt nem volt szabad, hogy egy alkalmazott ne menjen be szombaton. De a zsidó ünnepeken nem kellett, mert zsidó volt a főnök is, a nagyünnepeken bezárták a boltot. Akkor mindenki a templomba ment. Anyukám a strandon a pénztárban dolgozott nyáron. Télen otthon kézimunkázott. Amikor a mamám kint volt a strandon, én ott lubickoltam. Meg játszottam a fiúkkal, meg eveztünk, lementünk a másik malomhoz, szórakoztunk.

1924-ben születtem Zalaegerszegen. Nem volt testvérem. Nem zsidó elemibe jártam, az nem volt Zalaegerszegen. [Zalaegerszeg Zala vm. székhelye, lakosainak száma 1920-ban 13 200 fő volt, 1930-ban csak 13 100 fő. A megyei közigazgatási hivatalok székhelye volt itt, ipara (a négy téglagyáron kívül) nemigen volt. Volt 3 polgári iskola a városban – 2 állami és egy római katolikus leánypolgári, volt egy római katolikus tanítóképző, állami reálgimnázium és állami felső kereskedelmi fiúiskola. – A szerk.] Én még a zárdába is jártam iskolába 9 vagy 10 éves koromban. Azért, mert egy ismerős, aki ott lakott velünk együtt, az ott tanított. Aztán polgáriba [lásd: polgári iskola] mentem.

A polgári 14 éves korig volt. Azt hiszem, 15 vagy 16 éves voltam, amikor elmentem varrni tanulni – azért, mert már akkor nem vették fel a zsidó lányokat a kereskedelmibe [Zalaegerszegen nem volt felső kereskedelmi leányiskola, de működött női kereskedelmi szaktanfolyam. Így ért tehát le Zalaegerszegre az 1938:XV. tv. „A társadalmi és a gazdasági élet egyensúlyának hatályosabb biztosításáról” (noha ez nem tartalmazott numerus clausus-elemeket az oktatásban), vagy ha 1939-ben jelentkezett egy tizenéves lány egy vidéki városban kereskedelmi szaktanfolyamra, akkor az 1939:IV. tc. „A zsidók közéleti és gazdasági térfoglalásának korlátozásáról”. – A szerk.]. Azt hiszem, három évig tanonckodtam [lásd: ipariskolák]. Utána egy varrodába mentem, Lovasnénak hívták [a főnöknőt], Pécsről került oda férjhez. És annál dolgoztam, varrtam. A varrodába általában nyolcra mentünk, és bizony nekünk kellett ám kitakarítani műszak után! Volt egy mágnes, s a gombostűket, amik napközben lehullottak, avval kellett összeszedni.

Csak neológ családok voltak Zalaegerszegen [Az 1920-as népszámlálás felekezeti adatai szerint Zalaegerszegen 1657 fő vallotta magát izraelita vallásúnak (a város ekkor regisztrált 13 239 főnyi lakosságának 12,5%-a). A Magyar Zsidó Lexikon adatai szerint 1048 fő tartozott az izraelita hitközséghez.

A népszámlálásnál a vallást kérdezték, nem a hitközséghez tartozást. A zalaegerszegi zsidó vallásúak népszámlálás szerinti száma és a Zsidó Lexikon adatai közötti eltérés oka lehet, hogy a hitközség adatai hiányosak voltak, lehet, hogy többen más, akár más településen működő hitközséghez tartoztak, lehet, hogy nem ugyanarra az évre vonatkoznak az adatok. (Ezt sajnos pontosan utólag nem nagyon lehet megállapítani.) – A szerk.]. Dr. Junger Mózes volt a rabbi [Junger Mózes 1921 óta volt Zalaegerszeg főrabbija. – A szerk.]. Volt egy szép nagy templom, közel volt a lakáshoz. Minden pénteken mentem a Gergő bácsival imádkozni.

Ők a szomszédaink voltak, akik odajöttek lakni, mikor megvették a családi házat a nagymamától, a Malvintól. Gergő bácsi nagyon vallásos volt. A postán dolgozott mint adminisztrátor. Jóban voltunk velük, és én bizony mentem minden pénteken a templomba, és gyújtottam gyertyát. Anyám csak nagyünnepekkor. Mert akkoriban kellett bérelni a széket a karzaton [A zsinagógában a nők nem vegyülhetnek a férfiak közé, különválasztott helyen ülnek. – A szerk.], annyian jártak templomba, és ez elég drága volt. De azért a szüleim hüpe alatt esküdtek [lásd: házasság, esküvői szertartás]. Ünnepekkor mindig új ruhát kaptam. Olyan nem volt, hogy ne legyen új ruha. Új cipő, új kalap, új kosztüm. Volt egy zsidó varrónő, és ott lett nekem minden csináltatva.

Valamikor nagyon tudtam imádkozni. Még voltam vizsgán is dr. Junger Mózes főrabbinál, és én annyira jól tudtam, hogy adott nekem 10 pengőt. Anyukám nem ismerte a héber betűket, de minden nap egy fél órát kellett neki felolvasnom. Volt egy héber nyelven írott vallásos könyv, olyan, mint az imakönyv, abból olvastam. Az anyukám meg hallgatta, én meg büszke voltam! Néha megkérdezte, hogy mit is olvasok, és akkor megpróbáltam lefordítani, de én sem értettem ám mindent.

Gyerekkoromban ettünk libát, kacsát. Hát ünnepekre mindig meg volt rendelve egy tízkilós liba, már jó előre. Anyám gondoskodott róla. Elvitte a vágóhoz vágatni [lásd: sakter; étkezési törvények]. Akkor ugye vettek pünkösdre [lásd: sávuot] csirkét. És akkor az én drága nagymamám elment a piactérre, ott tollaztatta, hogy legyen friss toll. De néha, ha jól emlékszem, disznóhús is volt. A Hermina nagyanyám, aki velünk lakott, nem volt olyan nagyon vallásos. A szédereste nálunk nem volt megtartva. Nem volt férfi a háznál, aki le tudta volna vezényelni. Egyszer elvitt apám széderre. Neki volt egy barátja, azok tartottak széderestet, és akkor elvitt apám. Nagyon tetszett nekem, ismertem is a Hágádát, tanultam az iskolában. Az apukám csinált tenderlit Hanukára. Ezen héber betűk voltak, amik szerint bizonyos mennyiségű „pénzt” kellett egymásnak adnunk.  Dióban játszottunk, mind  a nyolc napon Hanukakor.

A cionizmusról a nagybátyámnál hallottam először. Marcaliban voltam nyaralni a nagybátyámnál, Nándornál [valószínűleg anyja testvéréről, Löbl Nándorról van szó], mert ő oda nősült be [Marcali: Somogy vm.-ben lévő nagyközség, az 1930-as években mintegy 6500 főnyi lakossággal. – A szerk.]. És voltak az állatorvosék, és a fia kiment Izraelbe. És akkor mondták, hogy bizony ott kint, Izraelben [Akkor még: Palesztina. – A szerk.] saját maguk égették a téglát a házhoz. A háború után megfordult az én fejemben is, hogy elmenjek Izraelbe. Amikor fel lehetett iratkozni, az én keresztény férjem azt mondta, hogy menjünk. Mentünk jelentkezni, de aztán sose kaptunk értesítést. De én nagyon féltem, hogy az oroszok majd megint szétválasztanak bennünket. A deportálásból az embernek még megmaradtak ezek a rossz emlékek.

Voltak keresztény barátaim is, de inkább zsidókkal barátkoztam. Volt a barátnőm, Vera, meg a testvérei, Dóra és Zsóka. Közel laktunk egymáshoz, és sokat átjártunk egymáshoz. Az én anyukám az anyjukkal összejárt. Ők is neológok voltak, de a nagyünnepekkor ők is elmentek a templomba. Se az anyjuk nem jött vissza, se az apjuk, se a Zsóka [a deportálásból]. Nekem nem nagyon volt más barátom a háború előtt. Az volt a szórakozásom, hogy felöltöztem, kirittyentettem magam, körömcipőben elmentem sétálni a Fő utcába. Nagy sikerem volt, és nekem ennyi elég is volt.

A háború előtt menyasszony voltam. Egy zsidó tanító, Spitzer Simon, tapolcai fiú volt a vőlegényem. Egy rabbinak a fia. Ő ott volt katona Zalaegerszegen, megkérte a kezemet. Anyámék javasolták – én nem nagyon akartam, de akkor mégis az volt, amit a szülők javasolnak. Mint tanító nem helyezkedhetett el, és akkor feljött ide, Budapestre átképzősnek, esztergályosnak, azt hiszem. Nem nagyon gyakran tudott ő jönni Zalaegerszegre. Akkor anyukám rétest sütött. És egyszer meghívtak oda őhozzájuk, Tapolcára. Ott egy olyan bájos rabbi volt, és a felesége, a Jutka, hát az még bájosabb volt. Hát én kirittyentve mentem oda. Kesztyű, amit a nagymamám horgolt, kalap csináltatva a legnagyobb szalonban. Nagyon meg voltak velem elégedve, úgy néztem ki, mint egy fővárosi dáma.

Amikor vagonírozták [amikor munkaszolgálatra vitték], össze-vissza futott a pályaudvarról, hogy éntőlem elköszönjön. De mire én hazajöttem [a koncentrációs táborból], megnősült. Én írtam még egy levelet, és arra nem kaptam választ. Egyszer csak kapok egy választ, hogy ne írogassak – ezt a nővére írta –, mert megnősült. Nem győzött várni. Egyszer még találkoztam vele.

Zalaegerszegen egyszer csak kijelentették, hogy ekkor és ekkor kell a gettóba menni. Váratlanul ért minket a felszólítás. Először volt a sárga csillag. Emlékszem, nagyon szép kanárisárga anyagból varrtam magamnak „elegáns” csillagot. Én ebből is divatot akartam csinálni!

És akkor egyszer csak 1944 májusában be kellett menni a gettóba. Sokan voltunk ott. Nekünk csak egy konyha jutott. Minden ottmaradt a lakásunkban. Nagy ládákban volt minden bepakolva, az összes edényünk, gyönyörű étkészlet. Az én nagymamám vett énnekem egy Singer varrógépet, csodálatos volt. Na, az is ottmaradt még a házban. És bizony mindenünk ottmaradt. A gettóból apám kijárt dolgozni egy kertészetbe. Ezt még megengedték. Egy hétig mehettünk templomba is.

Én persze mentem. Aztán utána vittek bennünket a csendőrök. És az én anyukám már tudta… [hogy mi lesz]. Mikor adták a Vörös Pimpernelt Zalaegerszegen a moziban, az anyám meg az apám mondták, akasszuk fel magunkat [Báró Orczy Emma (1865–1947) Angliában élő írónő nagysikerű regényét (The Scarlet Pimpernel, megj. 1907) többször is megfilmesítették, ők valószínűleg Korda Sándor 1935-ben készült filmjét látták Leslie Howarddal. Az alaptörténet a francia forradalom idején játszódik, főhőse egy angol lord, aki bajba jutott francia arisztokratákat menekít külföldre. – A szerk.]. Azt mondtam anyukámnak, én nem bírom magamat fölakasztani. Fiatal voltam, hát nem is gondoltam arra, hogy mi vár ránk.

Kivittek bennünket a téglagyárba. Azt mondták, hogy 2 kiló pogácsát vihet magával mindenki. Nem is tudom már, hogy 75 vagy 65 ember lett bevagonírozva egy vagonba. Azt tudom, hogy mondták, hogy többet raktak egy vagonba, mint a lovaknál szokás. Ez, azt hiszem, júniusban volt. A nagybátyám meghalt még a vonaton. [Randolph R. Braham forrásai szerint Zalaegerszegen a város cigánynegyedében – feltehetően inkább cigánytelepről volt szó – lévő két utcában vonták össze a zsidókat. Az ide „összevont” 3209 zsidó között körülbelül 900-an voltak helyi lakosok, a többiek a környező települések lakosai voltak. Deportálásukra 1944. július 4–6. között került sor. (R. L. Braham: A népirtás politikája. A holokauszt Magyarországon, ford. Szentmiklósi Tamás, Új Mandátum Könyvkiadó, Budapest, 2003.) – A szerk.]

Auschwitzban szálltunk ki. Ott, Auschwitzban először semmit nem dolgoztam. Ez a megsemmisítő tábor volt, innen vitték mindig a legyengülteket a gázba, ezért nem lett rám szám tetoválva. Utána elvittek Bergen-Belsenbe – oda már nem a családommal kerültem –, ott se dolgoztunk.

Aztán a buchenwaldi tábor egy melléktáborában dolgoztam, már nem is tudom, milyen munkát kellett végeznem. Onnan sokfele hurcoltak bennünket, amikor szorult a hurok a németek körül. Végül aztán Theresienstadtban szabadultam fel. Az oroszok bejöttek, és elfogták a németeket, minket tényleg felszabadítottak. Az egyik műhelybe bementem, ott zsidó fiúk voltak. És akkor megemelt egy kosarat az egyik, és adott egy sóskiflit. Akkor egyszer húst is kaptam.

És másnap megettem, és attól én olyan beteg lettem! Akkor a Lili, aki szintén zalaegerszegi volt, és még Auschwitzban jóban lettünk, szerzett, én nem tudom, honnan, keserűsót. Két téglát összeállítottunk, és azon pirítottuk a kenyeret. Valahogy rendbe jöttem, az ember sok mindent kibír!

Aztán hogy mi lett velük, azt nem tudom. Hoztak ezek az oroszok nekünk gerslit [A gersli hántolt és párolt árpaszem, malomipari termék. – A szerk.]. Kondérra valót. Kiéhezetten ettük-ettük. Egész éjjel futkostunk a vécére. Még az volt a szerencse, hogy nem döglöttünk meg. Na most akkor volt az orvosi vizsgálat. Azt mondja nekem az egyik magyar orvos, hogy nem volna jobb, ha itt maradna egy kicsit a kórházban. Mondom, hogy nem, nem, én azt már tudom, hogy édesanyám nem él, de apám biztosan él. Tévedtem. Egyedül maradtam. Megérkeztünk a Keleti pályaudvarra. Ott a Keleti pályaudvarnál adtak szilvás gombócot mindenkinek, aki lágerből jött. Így kerültem én haza, illetve Budapestre.

Az első férjem zsidó volt. Neuwald Imrének hívták. Otthon, Zalaegerszegen ismerkedtem meg vele, de hogy minek, azt nem tudom, mert jót nem éltem mellette. A bátyja hozott össze bennünket. Azt mondta nekem, hogy őneki van egy öccse; „magának olyan jó dolga lesz, hogy még hideg vízbe se kell tennie a kezét”, mondta. Imre itt élt Pesten, a bátyja volt zalaegerszegi. De eredetileg Keszthelyről származtak. Imre ószeres volt. Azt hiszem, 1946-ban volt az esküvő. Itt, Budapesten a Nagy Fuvaros utcában [zsinagógában]. Azt hiszem, három és fél évig éltünk együtt. Aztán meghalt rákban. Szinte végig beteg volt, én meg ápoltam, ő dolgozni se tudott. Rossz idők voltak.

A második férjem, Fehér József nem volt zsidó. De nagyon boldogan éltünk, nagyon szerettük egymást. 1926-ban született. Ő két évvel volt fiatalabb, mint én. Mezőtúri volt. [Mezőtúr Jász-Nagykun-Szolnok vm.-i város, ekkoriban, az 1920–1930-as években 27 000 fő körül ingadozott a lakosság lélekszáma. – A szerk.] Úgy találkoztam vele, hogy ott, ahol mi laktunk, az első emeleten lakott albérletben. Azért maradtunk aztán később is ebben a lakásban, mert a férjem nagy autóimádó volt, és itt volt a garázs. Villanyszerelő volt.

Aztán később a Rákos menti ÁFÉSZ-nél anyagbeszerző lett. Aztán a földalattinál is dolgozott mint villanyszerelő. A háború után nem foglalkoztam a zsidósággal. Nem hiányzott. Énnekem az életemet ő töltötte ki. De a szívem az mindig zsidó volt. És maradt is. Nem léptem be a pártba. A férjem sem. Mi nem is politizáltunk a férjemmel. A politika minket nem érdekelt. Boldogok voltunk.

A háború után első munkahelyem a Lapterjesztő volt. Ott kartonkezelő voltam. Mi vezettük fel a kartonra, hogy ilyen újságból ennyit kér az újságos ott vidéken, abból annyit. Körülbelül másfél évet dolgoztam csak ott, akkor az megszűnt. Utána kerültem a Rózsa utcai közértbe eladónak. És eljött a férjem, és hát egy ilyen munkahelyen a férfi is tegezi a kollégáját. Meghallotta a férjem, és közölte, na, ide többet nem mész. Egyszerűen féltékeny lett. Akkor elmentem, a Kodály köröndnél is volt egy nagy közért, oda.

Én a csokoládérészlegnél voltam. Aztán utána a Május 1. úti ruhagyárban dolgoztam. Ott gombot varrtam. Utána pauza, és aztán kerültem a Medimpexhez. Én ott valóban jól éreztem magam. Mint liftes kerültem be. És utána aztán már fölvittek a gyógynövényosztályra, ott dolgoztam mint vezető a gyógynövényraktárban. Nyugdíjba az Auróra rendelőintézetből mentem. Ott be voltam osztva orvosírnoknak. De amikor hiányzott egy asszisztensnő, akkor beraktak. Szóval elég mozgalmas munkakörökben dolgoztam!

A háború után Annus nénivel meg a férjével, Guszti bácsival tartottam a kapcsolatot. Annus néni lányát Győrszentivánról deportálták a kislányával együtt. Annus néninél nem volt szabad mondani a deportálást, mert azt mondta a Guszti bácsi, ő katonatiszt volt, nem zsidó, hogy nem tudtam menteni már az Annus néni lányát, örültem, hogy Annust el tudtam dugni.

A Jenő nagybátyám is túlélte. Az első felesége meghalt ott kint [a koncentrációs táborban]. Ő amikor hazajött, először Zalaegerszegre ment, aztán megnősült. Ő lovakkal foglalkozott a háború előtt is és aztán utána is. Vett magának lovat, és futtatta az ügetőn. Nagyon jól futott a lova a versenyeken. Jenőnek volt sofőrje, kocsija, minden.

Aztán a sors úgy hozta, hogy mióta egyedül vagyok, egyre inkább zsidónak érzem magam. Minden második hónapban kapok krumplit, hagymát, két szardíniát, fügét, datolyát, narancsot, egy tábla csokoládét, lisztet, cukrot, tojást, mindent. Először, nagyon-nagyon régen még kaptam meleg ételt is minden nap. És kóser ételt hoztak, de vackot. Ezt lemondtam. A hidegcsomag jár minden olyan zsidónak, akinek anyagilag vagy a helyzete ezt szükségessé teszi. Jól esik a gondoskodás. Megnézem a zsidó műsorokat a tévében, és meghallgatom a rádióban is, ami erről szól. Amióta ágyhoz vagyok kötve, csak ez az én szórakozásom.

Vera Stulberger

Vera Stulberger

Meine Kindheit
Während des Krieges
Nach dem Krieg
Österreich

Meine Kindheit

Ich heiße Vera Stulberger, geborene Vámos, mein jüdischer Name ist Gittl. Ich wurde am 19. Dezember 1922 in Tiszacsege geboren. Ich werde bald 80. Meine Mutter hieß Aranka Vámos, geborene Schlesinger, ihr jüdischer Name war Esther. Mein Vater hieß Fülöp Vámos, ursprünglich Weisberger. Ich weiß nicht, wann meine Eltern geboren wurden, ich weiß nur, wann sie gestorben sind: im Jahre 1944 in Auschwitz. Mein Vater kam aus Gyöngyös, meine Mutter aus Tiszacsege, und sie lebten in Tiszacsege. Ein Teil meiner Verwandten ist in Gyöngyös begraben, aber viele wurden leider deportiert.

In unserer Familie haben viele den Namen geändert, mein Vater hatte einen Bruder, den Aladár Weisberger, der in Gyöngyös blieb und dessen drei Söhne den ungarischen Namen Vándor annahmen, in Budapest hatte ich einen Onkel, den Hugó Vámos, der war Beamter und hatte auch zwei Söhne, und in Sárospatak hatte ich noch einen Onkel, den Dezsö Vámos, der hatte ein Kaffeehaus, er hatte eine Tochter. Aladars Frau hatte ein Milchgeschäft, sie haben die Milch ans Haus geliefert. Ich weiß es noch, sie brachten jeden Morgen die Milch zu meiner Großmutter, auch Käse und Quark konnte man bei ihnen kaufen. Mein Onkel war nicht im Laden, nur meine Tante, was er machte, weiß ich nicht.

Meine Mutter Aranka hatte einen Bruder in Budapest, Szöke, und eine Schwester, Rózsi, in Tiszacsege. Meine Eltern wohnten in Tiszacsege zusammen mit meiner Tante Rózsi und meinen Großeltern mütterlicherseits. Mein Vater hatte eine Geißlerei und meine Großmutter Hermina Schlesinger eine Kneipe. Tiszacsege war vor dem Krieg ein kleines Dorf, es hatte nur eine Straße. Die Geißlerei meines Vaters war das zweite Haus von der Schule mit zwei Schaufenstern. Die Kneipe meiner Großeltern war das Eckhaus daneben.

Wir waren drei Geschwister, Edit, György und ich, und da Tiszacsege damals ein ganz kleines Dorf war, meinten unsere Eltern, dass ich es besser bei meinen Großeltern väterlicherseits in Gyöngyös haben werde.

Gyöngyös war schon damals eine Großstadt, die zweitgrößte im Komitat Heves. Die größte ist Eger, und Gyöngyös ist die zweitgrößte. Und dort habe ich gelebt. Meine Eltern und meine Geschwister wohnten in Tiszacsege. Aber es war nicht so, dass sie mich in Pflege gegeben hätten, sondern ich bin hingegangen und dageblieben, ich weiß gar nicht mehr wann. Meine Eltern dachten, dass es für mich besser ist. Erst später habe ich darüber nachgedacht, wie und warum meine Eltern mich zu meinen Großeltern und Tanten schickten.

Mein Großvater väterlicherseits Antal Weisberger war Angestellter der Glaubensgemeinde, eine meiner Tanten wohnte auch bei ihnen, die war in einer Anwaltskanzlei angestellt, die beiden anderen Tanten waren verheiratet, die wohnten nicht mehr bei ihren Eltern. Diese waren also die Geschwister meines Vaters. Er hatte neun Geschwister: Sándor, Samu, Hugó, Aladár, Dezsö, Rózsi, Rezsin, Iboly und Annus. Die Familie meines Vaters war sehr familienlieb. Meine Großmutter hieß Mária Weisberger, geborene Kohn, ich war ihre Lieblingsenkelin. In Gyöngyös hatte sie drei Enkel, in Veszprém zwei Enkelinnen und zwei Enkel, in Budapest zwei Enkel, in Sárospatak eine Enkelin und dann uns drei. Mein Großvater trug immer einen Anzug, meine Großmutter ganz normale Kleider: Rock und Bluse. Sie trug keine Perücke, sie hatte sehr schöne, schneeweiße Haare.

Meine Großeltern führten einen koscheren Haushalt, die Feste hat man gefeiert, und meine Großmutter zündete jeden Freitag eine Kerze an, alle Feiertage haben wir eingehalten, am Samstag wurde nicht gekocht. Mein Großvater war Angestellter der Glaubensgemeinde, und am Samstag war er immer in der Synagoge. Aber meine Großmutter ging nicht mit, denn außer an Feiertagen müssen die Frauen nicht in die Synagoge gehen, nicht einmal die ganz religiösen gehen hin, denn es reicht, wenn eine Jüdin zu Hause betet. Meine Großmutter war nicht so religiös, als dass sie gebetet hätte. Sie ging unbedeckten Hauptes, und an Feiertagen ging sie mit der Handtasche in die Synagoge.

An großen Feiertagen gingen meine Großeltern ohne Frühstück in die Synagoge, zum Beispiel an Rosh Hashana (Neujahr) wohnte die Familie eines Onkels in der Nähe der Synagoge, und da brachte die Dienstmagd das Frühstück hin, und dann gingen sie in die Synagoge zurück. Das weiß ich, weil das für mich als Kind sehr interessant war, dass die Magd das Frühstück brachte. Dann zu Jom Kippur (Tag der Versöhnung und Fasttag), wenn wir abends zur Synagoge gingen, musste man fasten, dann am nächsten Tag gingen wir am Abend nach Hause und haben Abend gegessen. Das Abendessen war immer so: erst Kaffee mit Zopfkuchen und Quarkkuchen. Das ist ja bis heute so. Und dann musste man mit dem Hühnchen ein Opfer darbringen. (Alte Zeremonie: Am Morgen oder am Abend des Tages vor Jom Kippur nehmen die Männer einen Hahn und die Frauen ein Huhn, und auf die Versöhnung wartend, drehen sie diese dreimal über dem Kopf herum.) So was hat man immer gehalten, das machte mein Großvater über meinem Kopf, und da es sehr viele Hähnchen gab, gab es außer Geflügel sowieso nichts, man musste überall essen, was es gab, aber es gab weder Enten noch Gänse, denn überall hat man diese Opfer dargebracht. Ich weiß gar nicht, wie man es heute macht, wenn man kein Hähnchen kaufen kann. Und dann, wenn der Hunger mit dem Frühstück schon vertrieben war, fingen wir an, Warmes zu essen, überall gab es Paprikahuhn mit Eiergersten und Hühnersuppe.

In meiner Kindheit war das Pessah etwas ganz großes. Pessah haben wir die ganze Woche gehalten. Es gab einen riesengroßen Wäschekorb, und darin war das Pessahgeschirr, das war oben auf dem Dachboden. Und das ganze Geschirr aus der Küche hat man beiseite gelegt, überall wurde geputzt, im Garten eine Grube gegraben, und alles, was es aushielt, zum Beispiel das Besteck, wurde in diese Grube gelegt und mit heißem Wasser und heißen Ziegeln „ausgekoschert“. Auf etwas anderes als Besteck konnte man natürlich keine heißen Ziegel legen. So hat man sich auf das Pessah vorbereitet – und dann, wenn die Küche schon bis zur letzten Ecke geputzt war, nahm man den Wäschekorb mit dem Geschirr, dann erst konnte man den Pessahtopf aufsetzen, die Sachen vom Dachboden abwaschen und alles wieder in die Küche räumen. Das waren die Vorbereitungen auf das Pessah. Sederabend wurde auch an beiden Tagen schön gefeiert, da war auch die Schwester meines Onkels eingeladen, die ledig war.

Zum Laubhüttenfesten hatten wir keine Laubhütte, aber im Ungerleiter-Haus gab es eine sehr religiöse Familie, die hatten eine Tankstelle im Hof. Die Decke des Korridors war extra so gebaut, dass man sie öffnen konnte. Die Laubhütte brauchte man nämlich, damit man im Freien beten und essen kann, und wenn man diese Decke aufmachte, war es oben frei. Es war eine sehr religiöse Familie, von der Seite bedeckten sie dann den Korridor mit Laken, und sie hängten Äpfel und Girlanden auf. Alles war, wie es sich gehört. Dort aßen und beteten sie, und ich - als Kind - bin natürlich zu ihnen gegangen.

In Gyöngyös gab es eine orthodoxe Glaubensgemeinde und eine Status quo Synagoge, die sie besuchte. Mein Onkel Aladar in Gyöngyös, der das Milchgeschäft hatte, hat im Chor der Synagoge gesungen. In der Synagoge gab es sogar einen Platz für die Orgel, eine Orgel gab es freilich nie. Die Synagogen waren in Gyöngyös am Ufer des Baches. Es gab eine ältere Synagoge, der Tempel der Helden, dann die orthodoxe Synagoge und die Status quo Synagoge wurde damals gebaut, wie ich zur Schule ging. Bei der Einweihung waren wir dabei. Die Hauptstraße war in Gyöngyös die Jókai utca, und deren Verlängerung war die Pesti út. Das Ungerleiter-Haus war ein Eckhaus mit großer Toreinfahrt, an der einen Seite gab es einen Laden, und an der andren Seite war unsere Wohnung mit zwei Fenstern zur Straße. Schräg gegenüber unserem Haus war das Ungerleiter-Haus, ein Haus mit einem U-förmigen Grundriss, alle Bewohner waren Juden, der Hausbesitzer hieß Ungerleiter. Von dort wurden später alle nach Auschwitz gebracht. Aber einen ausgesprochen jüdischen Stadtteil gab es in Gyöngyös nicht, überall haben Juden gewohnt, in der Hauptstraße, am Hauptplatz standen die Judenhäuser, der Vorsitzende der Glaubensgemeinde wohnte in der Jókai utca, dann gab es einen Rechtsanwalt, den Dr. Vajda, der wohnte auf dem Hauptplatz.

Ich war jeden Sommer bei meinen Eltern in Tiszacsege. Denn meine Großeltern sind zu ihrer Tochter nach Budapest gefahren. Dort lebte ein Bruder meines Großvaters, und wir waren bei dessen Familie. Dann fuhren wir weiter nach Veszprém, dort lebte eine meiner Tanten mit ihrer Familie, bei der waren wir zehn Tage lang. Auf dem Weg zurück hielten wir wieder in Budapest, dann fuhren wir nach Sárospatak zu meinem anderen Onkel und von dort zu meinen Eltern nach Tiszacsege und dann nach Hause nach Gyöngyös. So verlief der Sommer. Jeden Sommer habe ich so zugebracht. Es ist mir kein einziges Mal eingefallen, dass ich Ferien habe, und diese doch bei meinen Eltern verbringen könnte, um den ganzen Sommer zu Hause zu sein. Als ich dann zur Oberschule ging, hatte ich oft Heimweh. Also verbrachte ich jeden Sommer bei meinen Eltern, als ich zur Oberschule ging, obwohl meine Großeltern damals noch gelebt haben. Tiszacsege war ganz nahe an der Theiß, nur drei Kilometer entfernt. Und dann ging ich mit meiner Schwester und meinem Bruder und einigen anderen Kindern unseres Alters jeden Nachmittag baden.

In Tiszacsege gab es eine orthodoxe Glaubensgemeinde, es gab eine Synagoge und auch eine Mikve (Ritualbad). Einen Schames gab es, aber einen Rabbi nicht, aber meinen Geschwistern wurde die Religion zu Hause beigebracht. Der Lehrer hatte es nicht so schwer, denn es gab wenig jüdische Familien, also kam er immer zu uns nach Hause. Mein Bruder wollte sich vor ihm immer verstecken. Meine Eltern waren früher sehr religiös, aber in ihren letzten Jahren haben sie sogar Schweine geschlachtet. Meine Großeltern führten einen koscheren Haushalt. Aber es war nie ein Problem, ich habe nie gehört, dass man etwas nicht machen darf. In der Schule war es überhaupt kein Thema, ob man Jude oder Christ ist. Ich hatte Freundinnen, die in derselben Gegend wohnten wie wir, wenn sie im Mai zur Litanei gingen, begleitete ich sie ein Stück, oder sie kamen samstags nach der Kirche bei uns vorbei, oder ich ging zu ihnen, und wir spielten zusammen.

Ich kann es bis heute schätzen, wenn jemand seiner Religion und den Sitten treu ist, ich bin selber religiös gesinnt. Ich kann lesen, aber das jüdische Schreiben hat man mir nie beigebracht, aber ich weiß die Bedeutung aller Feiertage, und ich halte es auch ein. Soviel halte ich auf jeden Fall ein, dass ich samstags nicht koche, das heißt nicht, dass ich gar nicht koche, von ein paar Kartoffeln wird schon nichts passieren.

Es war bei uns nie ein Thema, wer Jude ist. Meine Eltern hielten sich für ungarische Juden. Man diskutiert, ob jetzt das Judentum ein Volk oder eine Religion ist, aber wir waren Ungarn, ungarische Juden. Zu Hause sprachen wir ungarisch, auch mein Mann, obwohl er auch Jiddisch konnte, er hatte es in der Talmudschule gelernt. Meine Eltern konnten keine andere Sprache, nur ungarisch.

Meine Schwester hieß Edith Vámos, ist 1924 geboren, und als sie heiratete, wurde sie Frau Füzes, dann ist aber ihr Mann gestorben. Sie kam von Tiszacsege nach Gyöngyös. Erst ging sie nach Budapest zu der Schwester meiner Mutter, sie wurde in einem Frisörladen Lehrling, aber sie hat sich dort nicht wohl gefühlt, denn das war ein Ehepaar ohne Kind, und sie konnten mit einem Kind oder einer Jugendlichen nicht umgehen. So kam sie auch nach Gyöngyös, und da waren wir also alle zusammen.

Ich bin nicht in eine jüdische Schule gegangen, ich nahm aber am Religionsunterricht außerhalb der Schule teil, es gab dafür einen Raum. Montag nachmittags hatte ich Religionsstunde. Manchmal wurde sie vom Kantor gehalten, manchmal von einem älteren Rabbi, dem Feigl LH. Wie er sonst hieß, habe ich nie erfahren, man nannte ihn immer nur den Feigl LH. Dann kam auch ein jüngerer Rabbi, der Jakab Jenö, der hat dann in der Oberschule und im Gymnasium die Religionsstunden gehalten. Der ist auch nicht zurückgekommen, der Feigl war sowieso schon alt, aber auch der Jakab ist nicht zurückgekommen. Es sind nur wenig Juden nach Gyöngyös zurückgekommen.

Während des Krieges

Die Zeiten nach der Schule waren schon sehr schwer. In Gyöngyös gab es kein Gymnasium für Mädchen, nur eins für Jungen. Für Mädchen war es auch nicht möglich, nach der vierten Klasse der Oberschule ins Gymnasium zu kommen, außer man hat eine Differenzprüfung abgelegt. In meiner Klasse gab es nur zwei Mädchen, die ins Gymnasium kamen. Dann gab es noch eine Handelsschule, die noch für ein Mädchen in Frage gekommen wäre, aber so was habe ich nicht gewollt, weil ich ja in Mathematik nie besonders gut war. So blieb mir nichts anderes übrig, als in die Frisörlehre zu gehen. Das hab ich nicht in Gyöngyös gemacht sondern in Mátrafüred. Eine meiner Tanten hatte dort eine Gaststätte, gegenüber der Gaststätte gab es einen Frisörladen, die haben mich als Lehrling aufgenommen. Meinetwegen hat man die Gaststätte geöffnet gehalten. Denn damals war es nicht so, wie heutzutage, dass es das ganze Jahr über Urlauber gibt. Damals waren die Pensionen und Hotels im Winter geschlossen, denn es gab keine Urlauber, dort konnte man nicht Ski fahren, dazu musste man weiter hoch fahren, nach Mátraháza, auf den Kékes-Gipfel oder nach Galyatetö. Zwei Jahre später hat man die Gaststätte zugemacht, denn man hatte sie von der Stadt gemietet. Ich habe dann die Prüfung abgelegt, dann ging ich nach Gyöngyös zurück, um in einem großen Frisörladen zu arbeiten. Dort habe ich bis zum Einmarsch der Deutschen gearbeitet, dann musste man schon den Stern tragen, da konnte man nicht mehr arbeiten, dann wurde in Gyöngyös das Getto gemacht, und da war alles vorbei.

Ich weiß nicht mehr, wie lange wir im Getto waren, sie kamen und requirierten, sie suchten immer etwas, man musste immer etwas abgeben. Und dann kamen sie einmal und sagten uns, was wir mitnehmen dürfen. Für die Beamten der Stadt hatten sie kleine Zweifamilienhäuser in einem Stadtviertel gebaut, diese ließen sie dann in die Häuser der Juden ziehen, und in diesem Stadtviertel war dann das Getto.

Ich war dem Antisemitismus eigentlich nie begegnet. Ich würde noch nicht einmal sagen, dass ich einen kennen würde, der judenfeindlich gesinnt war. Das kam auf einmal, als die Deutschen kamen. Es war dann so schlimm, dass man bei der Einfrachtung der hiesigen Polizei nicht vertraute, man ließ extra eine andere Polizei kommen. Der Polizeikapitän hieß Györkényi, aber wir nannten ihn Gyurcsik, denn Györkényi war ein ungarisierter Name. Ich weiß, dass man ihm nicht vertraute, weil er mit vielen Juden gut befreundet war.

Wir waren nicht lange im Getto, wir wohnten da zu siebent: mein Onkel, meine Tante Rózsi und ihr Mann Móric Darvas, meine ledige Tante, meine Schwester Edith und ich, und in der Küche schlief noch ein Fremder, der gehörte nicht zur Familie. Das Getto wurde im Mai 1944 geleert. Von Gyöngyös wurden wir nach Hatvan gebracht, das Sammellager für das Komitat Heves war dort, man hatte die Zuckerfabrik für diesen Zweck geleert. Wir waren in einem riesengroßen Raum, da lagen wir, aber ob wir eine Strohmatte hatten oder nur eine Decke, das weiß ich nicht mehr. Auf jeden Fall lagen wir nebeneinander mit unseren kleinen Habseligkeiten am Kopf oder an den Füßen. Die Eisenbahn hatte Einfahrt auf das Fabrikgelände, wir wurden dort eingefrachtet, wir waren so um die 70 in einem Waggon. Meine beiden Tanten, meine Schwester und ich waren zusammen, denn mein Onkel war damals schon im Arbeitsdienst. Und wir alle sind - wie durch ein Wunder - zusammengeblieben, auch meine beiden Tanten sind zurückgekommen. Als wir eingefrachtet wurden, gab man uns zwei Eimer, zwei Kannen Wasser und etwas Essen mit. Wir fuhren über die Tschechoslowakei. Wir wussten nicht, wo wir waren, man wusste nicht, was Auschwitz ist. Wir haben nur gehört, dass Leute verschwunden waren. Die religiöse Familie im Hof hatte eine Tochter, die mit einem Mann aus Kaschau verheiratet war. Wir haben gehört, dass auch sie verschleppt wurden, aber wohin, das wussten wir nicht. Als der Zug anhielt, wussten wir nicht, wo wir waren, wir wussten auch nicht, ob wir weiterfahren oder nicht, und als die Waggontüren geöffnet wurden, sahen wir Baracken und Leute in Decken gewickelt, daher wussten wir, dass es irgendein Lager ist. Man schrie: „Los, los, aussteigen!“, und ich habe noch mit der Edith, meiner Schwester, gestritten, denn sie hatte irgendein kleines Gepäck, und das wollte sie nicht im Waggon lassen. Wir hatten keine Sachen mit, aber was wir mithatten, mussten wir auch im Waggon lassen. Man sagte, dass wir später alles bekommen würden. Und sie hat mich beschimpft: „Warum hast du das bisschen nicht mitnehmen können, du hättest es doch mitnehmen können.“ Aber es blieb uns sowieso nichts, nur die Schuhe durften wir mitnehmen, sonst nichts.

Als wir aus dem Waggon stiegen, mussten wir an Mengele vorbeimarschieren. Der eine musste nach rechts, der andere nach links. Wer nach links musste, dem hat man die Haare gar nicht geschnitten, denn der ging sofort ins Gas. Dann wurden wir in einen riesengroßen Raum gebracht, da waren Männer in Gefangenengewand, man musste sich ganz ausziehen, alle zogen alles aus, nur wer eine Brille hatte, der durfte diese anhalten, und die Schuhe trugen wir in der Hand. Und dann wurde uns der Kopf rasiert und alles entfernt. Man brachte uns in einen Raum mit Dusche. Freilich ist keiner soweit gekommen, dass er sich hätte normal waschen können, kaum hat man sich eingeseift, wurde der Hahn abgedreht, und man musste weitergehen. Wir mussten die Hände hochhalten, und es kam ein SS Scherge mit so einem pumpenartigen Ding, mit dem früher Insekten bekämpft wurden, und er hat uns desinfiziert. Dann ging man weiter und bekam ein Kleidungsstück in die Hand gedrückt, und ich bekam eine Männerunterhose und ein bordeauxfarbenes Kleid, das mir zu lang war. Ich schnitt davon ein Stück ab, und das Stück band ich mir um den Kopf. Denn in Auschwitz war das Wetter so, dass es morgens, wenn wir Zählappell stehen mussten, so kalt war, dass man fast erfror, und wenn die Sonne herauskam, hat man sich einen Sonnenbrand geholt, wenn man keinen Schatten fand. Deshalb war das lange Kleid gut, denn ich habe mir wenigstens das, was ich davon abgeschnitten habe, um den Kopf wickeln können.

Ich war sechs Wochen lang in Auschwitz im C Lager, das war das Vernichtungslager. Das war das allerschlimmste, denn es gab nicht einmal eine Lagerstätte. In den anderen Baracken gab es wenigstens Etagenbetten aus Holz mit Strohmatten. Aber hier gab es nichts. Wir lagen aneinander wie die Sardinen in der Dose. Lag jemand auf dem Rücken, und ein anderer fand sich keinen Platz, da sagte man, dass es da noch einen Platz gibt. Drehte sich einer um, dann musste sich auch der andere neben ihm umdrehen. Wir lagen auf der Seite mit den Schuhen unterm Kopf. Es gab kein Wasser, nur einen Behälter, der von einem Tankwagen aufgefüllt wurde, denn eine Wasserleitung gab es im ganzen Lager nicht. Da ließ der Wassertanker das Wasser in den Behälter, und man konnte davon trinken. Wir konnten uns nur dann waschen, wenn es geregnet hatte und das Wasser von der Erde nicht eingesaugt wurde. Meine Füße waren so verstaubt, dass die Finger ganz weiß wurden, wenn ich den Fuß berührt habe.

Dann, nach sechs Wochen, kam wieder eine Sortierung, dann kam ich ins Sudetenland, das ist jetzt in Tschechien. Wir wohnten in Parschnitz in einem alten Fabrikgebäude, und wir fuhren mit dem Zug in die nächste Kleinstadt, Trautenau, zur Arbeit. Wir fuhren jeden Morgen mit dem Zug hin und jeden Abend zurück. Wir arbeiteten in einer Fabrik der AEG und stellten Flugzeugteile her. Es gab verschiedene Räume, da mussten wir arbeiten. Im Lager bekamen wir morgens ein Stück Brot, in der Fabrik um neun Uhr einen Kaffee – das heißt eine Tasse schwarzes Wasser. Dann bekamen wir im Lager wieder einen Eintopf, da war alles mitgekocht, oder man gab uns drei Stück Kartoffeln und irgendeine Soße im Napf, das war das Abendessen. Man ist gerade nicht verhungert, aber die Leute waren so abgemagert, dass man ihre Rippen sehen konnte. Dort wurde ich befreit, leider von den Russen und nicht von den Amerikanern. Dann kamen wir aus dem Lager, und man nahm uns in einem Mansardenzimmer auf, nur um zu zeigen, was für brave Menschen das sind, die Juden zu sich nehmen. Einmal ist es zum Beispiel passiert, dass ein russischer Soldat zu diesen Leuten kam, und diese ließen meine Tante ins Zimmer kommen, um zu demonstrieren, dass sie Juden aus dem Lager aufgenommen haben.

Und dann machten sich meine Schwester Edit und ich - gemeinsam mit noch zwei anderen Mädchen aus Gyöngyös, die auch ohne Eltern waren - auf den Weg heim. Wir stiegen in einen Zug und fuhren damit soweit wir konnten. Wir lagen auf dem Dach, weil es im Zug keinen Platz gab. Aber wir waren glücklich, dass es überhaupt einen Zug gab. Die Richtung kannten wir nicht, wir wussten nicht, wie wir nach Hause kommen würden. Komárom war der erste Ort, wo wir uns bei der Glaubensgemeinde gemeldet haben. Dann nahmen wir wieder einen Zug, und mit dem fuhren wir nach Budapest.

In Budapest haben wir uns bei der Glaubensgemeinde auf dem Bethlen tér gemeldet, dann haben wir unsere Verwandten in der Dohány utca aufgesucht. Einige waren gestorben. Der Bruder meines Großvaters, der Onkel Maxi, lebte in Budapest. Er hatte vier Söhne und zwei Töchter, sie wohnten Dohány utca 71. Die Töchter waren nicht verheiratet, sie waren alte Jungfern und wohnten zusammen. Sie haben den Krieg überlebt. Meine Mutter hatte zwei Geschwister. Eine Schwester, die bei uns in Tiszacsege wohnte, die Rózsi, die hat man verschleppt, obwohl sie Krebs hatte und sogar operiert worden war. Die Kranken wurden in das Ungerleiter-Haus gebracht. Dort war das Krankenzimmer eingerichtet, denn sie durften nicht ins Krankenhaus gebracht werden, und von dort hat man meine Tante verschleppt. Der Bruder meiner Mutter wohnte in Budapest, er nahm den ungarischen Namen Szöke an, aber ob er den Krieg überlebt hat oder nicht, das weiß ich nicht. Mein Onkel Aladar, der in Gyöngyös das Milchgeschäft hatte, hat den Krieg nicht überlebt, auch seine Frau nicht, und einer ihrer Söhne ist auch gestorben. Ihr anderer Sohn, Dr. István Vándor, war Internist in Budapest im jüdischen Krankenhaus. Auch der dritte, der László, wohnte in Budapest, auch der ist am Leben geblieben. Er studierte in Italien Medizin, denn in Ungarn konnte er nicht studieren. Sie waren im Arbeitsdienst und kamen zurück. Mein Vater hatte neun Geschwister: Sándor, Samu, Hugó, Aladár, Dezsö, Rózsi, Rezsin, Iboly und Annus. Den Krieg hat nur mein Onkel Hugó überlebt.

Was meinen Eltern passiert ist, habe ich in Auschwitz erfahren. Als ich dort war, sahen wir einmal eine große neue Gruppe kommen. Das waren Juden aus dem Komitat Hajdú. Und da bin ich drei Geschwistern eines Onkels (des Mannes von Rózsi, der Schwester von meiner Mutter) begegnet. Sie kamen aus dem Getto in Balmazújváros, aus dem des Komitats Hajdú, und dort waren sie mit meinen Eltern zusammen, und so habe ich erfahren, dass sie auf die andere Seite gekommen sind. Denn die, die geblieben sind, sind in dieses Lager gekommen. Ich bin Leuten aus Tiszacsege und aus Hajdúnánás begegnet. So habe ich erfahren, dass ungefähr zwei Wochen nach uns die Juden aus dem Komitat Hajdú dorthin gebracht wurden. Mehr habe ich über sie gar nicht erfahren. Wer dort nicht am Leben geblieben ist, von dem hat man nie etwas erfahren können.

Ich weiß nicht einmal, wo mein Bruder György (geboren 1919 in Tiszacsege) Arbeitsdienstler war. Aus der Hundertschaft kam ein einziger junger Mann zurück, sonst niemand. Ich habe ihn kennen gelernt, er fragte mich nach meinem Namen, und so kam er darauf, dass er in derselben Hundertschaft war.

Nach dem Krieg

Und dann gingen wir zurück nach Gyöngyös. Das Haus stand noch, aber ob da jemand gewohnt hat, oder was da überhaupt los war, weiß ich jetzt nicht mehr. Ich kann mich überhaupt nicht erinnern, wie es war, als wir zurückgingen. Die Nachbarn haben erzählt, dass zwei große Lastwagen die ganzen Möbel, die vielen Gemälde, die schöne Ledercouch und alles wegbrachten. Dann fuhren wir nach Tiszacsege, um zu sehen, was oder wer dort geblieben ist. Dort fanden wir einen Onkel von uns, mit dem gingen wir dann nach Hajdúnánás. Er war der Ehemann von Rozsi, der Schwester meiner Mutter. Er hieß Miklós Darvas, ursprünglich Móric Dászkál. Er war Tanzlehrer.

In Hajdúnánás lernte ich dann meinen Ehemann kennen. Er wurde dort in einer religiösen Familie geboren. Sein Vater hatte eine Fuhrgesellschaft. Sie transportierten mit Pferden, denn damals gab es keinen so großen Autoverkehr wie jetzt. Sie beförderten Güter zwischen Debrecen und Hajdúnánás mit Pferdewagen mit Gummirädern, und sie haben die Händler in Hajdúnánás mit Waren versorgt. Sie fuhren nach Debrecen, und dort kauften sie für sie ein. Er hatte sechs oder sieben Brüder und eine Schwester. Und als die Söhne groß wurden, arbeiteten sie mit dem Vater, später haben nur noch die Söhne gearbeitet. Alle besuchten die religiöse Schule, aber er hatte einen Bruder, der sehr klug war, den wollte man nach der Grundschule ins Gymnasium schicken, damit er studieren konnte. Und dann hat ein reicher Besteller dem Vater gesagt, dass er ihnen keinen Auftrag mehr gibt, wenn der Sohn nicht zur Talmud Schule geht. So schickte man ihn nicht ins Gymnasium sondern in die Talmud Schule - wie all die anderen.

Wir haben uns kennen gelernt, als mein Onkel von Tiszacsege wegziehen wollte, und alles zusammen lag, Einrichtungsgegenstände und alles Gebliebene. Mein Mann kam von Hajdúnánás mit dem großen Wagen und zwei großen Pferden und einem Kutscher, um uns beim Umzug zu helfen. So habe ich meinen Mann kennen gelernt. Im Jahre 1946 haben wir geheiratet. Die Eheschließung am Standesamt war in Hajdúnánás und die in der Synagoge war in Debrecen.

Meine Schwester Edit heiratete auch einen Mann aus Hajdúnánás, sie hat vier Kinder und mehrere Enkelkinder, sogar Urenkel. In den Sechzigern sind sie nach Israel ausgewandert, sie leben seither dort.

Mein Mann hieß Ferenc Stulberger, er war ungefähr so alt wie mein Bruder, der 1919 geboren wurde, denn als sie zum Arbeitsdienst einrückten, kamen sie zum selben Ort. Damals habe ich meinen Mann freilich noch nicht gekannt, aber Móric Darvas kannte ihn und meinen Bruder schon damals.

Nach dem Krieg wurde mein Mann Fuhrmann und Weinhändler, später arbeitete er in einem Weinkeller. Er verstand viel vom Wein, weil sie auch zu Hause schon einen Weinkeller hatten, bevor er verstaatlicht wurde.

Als wir zuerst auswandern wollten, hat man uns erwischt. Es war so, dass eine Schwester meines Onkels schon in Österreich lebte. Sie hat mir durch die Blume geschrieben, dass wir über die Grenze kommen, wenn wir mit dem Mann, der mein Foto mithat, mitgehen. Das war ein Zeichen, sie hat dem Schleuser mein Foto gegeben. Sie schrieb, dass ich ruhig mitgehen darf, denn der, der mein Foto bei sich hat, ist zuverlässig. Aber den Schleuser hat man gefangen, und das haben wir nicht gewusst. Die Staatsicherheit schickte einen anderen mit meinem Foto. Das wussten wir natürlich nicht. Und nachdem es hieß, wer mein Foto mithat, der ist zuverlässig, gingen wir mit. Bei Hegyeshalom wurden wir von der Staatsicherheit erwartet und gefangen genommen, dann war alles vorbei, wir kamen in Szombathely ins Gefängnis. Ich habe zehn Monate gesessen. Mein Mann war ein ganzes Jahr im Gefängnis. Inzwischen hat der Staat alles, was wir hatten, enteignet, und mein Mann kam nach dem einen Jahr in Polizeiaufsicht, er bekam keine Stelle. Das Staatsgut suchte einen Einkäufer, er hat sich dort gemeldet, und der Parteisekretär sagte ihm: “Wie stellst du dir das vor als Feind der Volksdemokratie, eine Stelle zu bekommen?“ Der Parteisekretär war ein alter Bauer. Dann hat man ihn zum Kutscher aufgenommen. Seine Arbeit war es, die frisch gemolkene Milch nach Hajdúnánás zu liefern, aber da er unter Polizeiaufsicht stand - was bedeutete, dass er nach 21 Uhr nicht aus dem Haus durfte - konnte er nach der Arbeit nicht einmal in eine Wirtschaft gehen, um ein Glas Wasser zu trinken. Zu Pessah zum Beispiel wollten wir den Sederabend bei meinem Schwager verbringen, aber der war nicht vor 21 Uhr zu Ende. Da mussten wir eine Sondererlaubnis holen, damit er auch nach 21 Uhr auf der Straße gehen durfte.

Österreich

Und 1956 sind wir weggegangen. Da waren zwei meiner Schwager bereits im Ausland. Die sind nach Györ gefahren. Dort hat ihnen ein Eisenbahner über die Grenze geholfen, und von dort fuhren sie nach Amerika weiter. Der Eisenbahner hat uns kontaktiert, dass wir auch nach Amerika können, wenn wir wollen. Inzwischen war die ganze Familie meines Mannes in Amerika. Ursprünglich wollten wir auch dorthin, aber dann sind wir doch nach Österreich gefahren. Meine Schwester Edit kam uns Jahre später mit einem legalen Reisepass nach.

1959 bekamen wir die erste Wohnung. Davor wohnten wir im Hotel. Wir Juden haben ein Hotelzimmer bezahlt bekommen. Wir wurden nach Bad Kreuzen gebracht, das ist in Oberösterreich. Es stand ein großes Gebäude da, irgendein Sanatorium. Das war ein Lager nur für Juden, es wurde aber von den Norwegern verwaltet. Alle waren Norwegen: der Pfleger und der Küchenchef. Als viele nach Amerika gegangen sind, hat man dieses Lager geleert und uns nach Korneuburg gebracht. Das Lager dort war eine alte Kaserne. Als auch Korneuburg geleert wurde, brachte man uns nach Kagran. Mein Mann ging in einen Weinkeller arbeiten. Dann bekamen wir eine Wohnung im 11. Wiener Stadtbezirk, eine alte Kaserne wurde zum Wohnhaus mit Einzimmerwohnungen. In der Gegend waren alle Ungarn. Danach bekamen wir eine größere Wohnung, die eigentlich von der UNO gebaut wurde. Die Caritas, die christliche Hilfsorganisation, ist eigentlich unser Gastgeber seit 1964.

Mein Mann arbeitete in einem Weinkeller. In Wien wurde er dann Winzer. Als die Firma geschlossen wurde, ging er zu einer anderen arbeiten. Ich habe nie gearbeitet.

Mein Mann wusste sehr viel, denn er hatte die Talmud Schule besucht, er war ein großer Talmud Hochem. Wir gingen in ein kleines Gebetshaus beten, denn mein Mann fuhr samstags nicht, und im Haus wohnte ein älteres Ehepaar, mit dem gingen wir zu Fuß über die Friedensbrücke, denn dort stand ein kleines Gebetshaus, und dorthin gingen wir beten. Mein Mann wurde in der Synagoge sehr geschätzt, denn die Juden müssen ja immer über etwas diskutieren, und er wurde immer um Rat gebeten, weil man wusste, dass er sehr lange Talmud gelernt hat. Leider ist er schon längst tot. Ich weiß nicht mehr, wann er gestorben ist, aber es war in den Achtzigern irgendwann.

Ich hatte zwei Kinder: einen Sohn, György, und eine Tochter, Agnes. Mein Sohn wurde 1948 geboren, er lebt leider nicht mehr. Meine Tochter wurde 1952 geboren. Sie wurde in Hajdúnánás geboren, aber den Kindergarten hat sie schon hier in Wien besucht. Sie spricht perfekt ungarisch, aber ungarisch lesen und schreiben kann sie nicht, das hat sie nie gelernt. Und meine Enkelin Daniela wollte nie ungarisch lernen. Ági erhielt eine religiöse Erziehung, sie hat sogar Abitur in Religionslehre gemacht. Jetzt arbeitet sie als medizinische technische Assistentin im pathologischen Labor des AKHs. Daniela ist noch religiöser als ich. Wir sagen ihr immer, dass sie die Rebecin (Frau des Rabbiners) in der Familie ist. An Feiertagen fährt sie nicht einmal mit dem Fahrstuhl. Aber das wäre schon zuviel für mich. Die großen Feiertage halte ich ein, ich fahre an diesen Tagen nicht, ich gehe dann zu meiner Tochter rüber, und am nächsten Tag komme ich nach Hause. Zu Jom Kippur fasten alle, zu Pessah isst keiner Chomez (Zu Pessach darf man nur Ungesäuertes essen, alles andere nennt man Chamez – in jiddisch: Chomez), das halten wir immer anständig ein. Ich kaufe aber kein koscheres Fleisch. Bei meiner Tochter wird gar kein Schweinefleisch gekauft, aber nicht nur weil es nicht koscher ist, sondern auch weil das Fleisch fett ist. Meine Enkelin zum Beispiel isst gar kein Schweinefleisch.

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