Travel

Rosa Rosenstein

Rosa Rosenstein
Wien
Österreich
Interviewer: Tanja Eckstein
Datum des Interviews: Juli 2002

Im Sommer 2002 lernte ich Rosa Rosenstein kennen. Ich war sehr aufgeregt, sie interviewen zu dürfen, denn es passiert nicht oft, dass ich Interviewpartnern dieses Alters - sie war immerhin schon 94 Jahre, also fast ein Jahrhundert alt - und noch dazu aus Berlin, meiner Heimatstadt, begegne. Unverkennbar war ihr Berliner Dialekt und nach kurzer Zeit stellte sich Vertrautheit her. Weil sie nicht mehr gut zu Fuß war und auch nicht mehr gut sehen konnte, holte ich ihr jedes Mal ihre Zigaretten und den Aschenbecher aus dem Nebenzimmer ins Wohnzimmer. Manchmal schaffte sie es, nachdem sie mir die Tür geöffnet hatte, nicht ins Wohnzimmer zurück. Dann saßen wir auf dem langen Flur, direkt vor der Wohnungstür, dicht gedrängt auf einer kleinen Bank, und sie erzählte mir Geschichten aus ihrem Leben, lustige und traurige. Ich liebte ihre Geschichten und wurde nicht müde, sie immer wieder zu besuchen. Ihre wunderbar lebendige Art zu erzählen, die Sätze zu Bildern werden zu lassen, das ist und bleibt vermutlich ein einmaliges Erlebnis in meiner Interviewertätigkeit.
Rosa Rosenstein starb im Februar 2005.

Meine Familiengeschichte
Meine Kindheit
Meine Schulzeit
Mein Mann
Meine Geschwister
Während des Krieges
Nach dem Krieg
Glossar

Meine Familiengeschichte

Meine Urgroßeltern kannte ich nicht. Meine Großeltern und meine Eltern sind in Galizien geboren.

Meine Familie väterlicherseits heißt Braw. Die einzigen Braws, die existieren, bis heute noch, gehören zu meiner Familie. Es gibt Brav mit ‚v’ geschrieben, es gibt Braf mit ‚f’ geschrieben, aber wir schreiben uns mit ‚w’. Mein Bruder hat ein bisschen nachgeforscht und sagt, der Name kommt aus dem Hebräischen, nämlich von Biraw und das heißt ‚Sohn des Rabbiners’, Raw steht für Rabbiner.

Die Großeltern väterlicherseits habe ich nie kennen gelernt, denn meine Großmutter, Rivka Finder, geborene Braw, ist gestorben, da war ich noch nicht auf der Welt. Nach ihr wurde ich benannt, auf Deutsch Rosa, auf Jüdisch Rivka. Und den Großvater, Zwi Finder, habe ich auch nicht kennen gelernt. Der hatte angeblich nach dem Tode seiner Frau ‑ sie starb mit 54 Jahren an Krebs ‑ eine Junge geheiratet und ist weggezogen, so dass mein Vater überhaupt keinen Kontakt zu seinem Vater hatte. Meine Großmutter hatte meinem Vater vor ihrem Tod das Versprechen abgenommen, für seine jüngeren Geschwister zu sorgen.

Mein Vater, Jakob Braw, wurde am 6. Juni 1881 in Gorlice [Polen], in der Nähe von Tarnow [Polen] geboren. Er hatte sechs Geschwister: Gitl, Chana, Gusta, Zilli, Reisl und Nathan.

Gitl starb vor dem 2. Weltkrieg.

Chana, verheiratete Federman, hatte drei Kinder. Alle wurden im Holocaust ermordet.

Gusta, verheiratete Eberstark, hatte sechs Kinder. Alle wurden ermordet.

Zilli kam nach Berlin, lernte einen Herrn Weinhaus kennen, und 1914 fuhr sie mit ihm nach Amerika. Auf dem Schiff heirateten sie. In New York besaßen sie zusammen mit ihrer Schwester Reisl und dessen Mann ein Geflügelgeschäft. Zilli wurde 104 Jahre alt.

Reisl kam mit ihrem Mann von Galizien nach Berlin. Er war Bäcker und sein Name war Wind. In Berlin wurde ihr Sohn Josef geboren. Sie sind 1915 über Mexiko nach New York eingereist. Sie starb in New York.

Nathan kam nach Berlin und war sehr lebenslustig. Er hat sich erkältet und starb mit 26 Jahren an einer Lungenentzündung. Er wurde auf dem Friedhof in Weißensee [Anm.: Stadtteil von Berlin] beerdigt.

Mein Großvater mütterlicherseits, Angel Arthur Goldstein, wurde in der Nähe von Krakau geboren. Er war Verwalter eines Gutes. Damals haben Juden Güter gehabt. Der Gutsbesitzer hat in Krakau [Polen] gelebt, und mein Großvater war Verwalter dieses Gutes in der Nähe von Krakau. Ich kann mich erinnern, dass wir zu Hause ein Bild von dem Großvater mit dem langen weißen Bart und mit dem Käppi hatten.

Meine Großmutter, Bacze Goldstein, geborene Schiff, wurde 1850 geboren. Sie hatte zwei Perücken, die musste ich immer in die Grenadierstrasse [Anm.: Strasse in Berlin] zum Aufkämmen tragen.

Meine Mutter, Golda Braw, geborene Goldstein, wurde am 1. August 1884 in Tarnow geboren. Sie war die einzige Tochter. Sie hatte sieben Brüder: Jonas, Heinrich, Adolf, Hermann, Ignatz, Janik und Nuchem. Ihre älteren Brüder lebten auch in Berlin.

Onkel Jonas, jüdisch Joine, hatte in Berlin ein Klaviergeschäft. Seine erste Frau starb ungefähr 1918 an der Spanischen Grippe. Mit seiner zweiten Frau Hella und den Kindern Reuben und Dorit flüchtete er nach der Machtübernahme Hitlers in den 1930er-Jahren und emigrierte nach Palästina. Dorit und Reuben lebten zuerst im Kibbutz. Reuben verließ den Kibbutz in den späten 1950er-Jahren und nahm sein, durch die Emigration nach Palästina unterbrochenes Studium, wieder auf. Er wurde Professor für moderne Philosophie an der Universität Tel Aviv. Er heiratete Nelly, hatte aber keine Kinder. 
Dorit und ihr ebenfalls aus Berlin stammender Mann David Ross übersiedelten gemeinsam mit Onkel Joine und Tante Hella in den Moschaw Atarot, nördlich von Jerusalem. Der Kibbutz wurde im Unabhängigkeitskrieg 1948 geräumt. Die Mitglieder wurden in dem
verlassenen Templer-Dorf Wilhelmina, etwa 20km östlich von Tel Aviv, angesiedelt. Dorit und Jakob haben 3 Söhne: Ilan, Gad und Ehud, die selbst Kinder und, zum Teil, Enkelkinder haben. Joine ist in den 1950er-Jahren gestorben, Hella in den 1980er-Jahren. Jakob ist
vor ein paar Jahren gestorben, Dorit vor einigen Wochen.

Adolf besaß einen Zeitungskiosk. Adolf und sein Bruder Heinrich sind von Berlin aus mit ihren Frauen und ihren Töchtern nach Kanada gegangen. Der eine hatte eine Tochter, der andere zwei Töchter.

Hermann war ein sehr schöner Mann. Er arbeitete in Berlin in der Schneiderei meines Vaters und heiratete Mizzi, die eine Christin war und zum jüdischen Glauben übergetreten ist. 1926 gingen sie nach Kanada, wo er jung gestorben ist.

Ignatz wurde zuerst der Kompagnon meines Vaters, dann wurde er Gutsverwalter in Polen. Er war mit Barczszinska, Bronka genannt, verheiratet. Sie hatten keine Kinder. Bronka überlebte den Krieg versteckt in einem Kloster. Ignatz wurde auf der Flucht nach Budapest ermordet.

Jannik geriet im 1. Weltkrieg in Gefangenschaft und kam nach Sibirien.

Nuchem war der Jüngste. Er war Fähnrich im 1. Weltkrieg, so nannte man Einjährig-Freiwillige. Dadurch war er gleich ein Rang höher als ein einfacher Soldat, ist aber bei einem Gasangriff der anderen Seite verschüttet worden und war lange im Spital. Er hat nachher in Galizien geheiratet.

Meine Großeltern mütterlicherseits habe ich erst richtig wahrgenommen, da war ich ungefähr fünf oder sechs Jahre alt. Sie haben im westlichen Teil von Galizien gelebt. Damals gehörte das zu Österreich-Ungarn; Polen wurde es erst 1922. Ein großer Teil von Polen hat zur Österreich-Ungarischen Monarchie gehört.

Wir sind mit unserer Mutter von Berlin aus im Jahre 1913 die Großeltern in Galizien besuchen gefahren. Wir hatten so schöne Mäntel bekommen, karierte Pepitamäntel und weiße Hütchen mit herunterhängenden Kirschen.

Die Großeltern kamen nie nach Berlin zu Besuch. Mein Großvater ist 1913 ‑ er war auf dem Feld, um die Ernte zu beaufsichtigen ‑ an einem Hitzschlag gestorben. Jetzt war meine Großmutter allein, und meine Mutter hat sie zu sich nach Berlin geholt. Die Großmutter hat dann bei uns gelebt. Die Brüder meiner Mutter kamen nach Berlin, wenn sie ihre Mutter sehen wollten. Und dadurch bekamen wir immer noch wunderbare Lebensmittel, denn der eine war im 1. Weltkrieg in Rumänien stationiert, dort gab es noch alles. Da brachte er uns Rucksäcke voll Mehl und Reis.

Meine Kindheit

Mein Vater war Schneider - Heimschneider. In späteren Jahren hatten wir eine Herrenkonfektion en gros und ein Detailgeschäft. Mein Vater wurde nicht eingezogen, er wurde im 1. Weltkrieg vier Mal gemustert, aber immer wieder zurückgestellt, weil er furchtbare Krampfadern hatte. Und das war sein Glück! Er war zu Hause und konnte für uns sorgen. Er ist zu den Bauern gefahren und hat Lebensmittel für uns besorgt, damit wir nicht verhungern. Er hat uns auch die Schuhe besohlt. Meine Mutter konnte auch alles. Wir haben keinen Hunger gehabt. Irgendwann war das Essen schon knapper, da hat man Kohlrüben gegessen. Das ganze Haus hat danach gestunken. Die Marmelade war aus Kohlrüben, und das Brot war auch aus Kohlrüben.

Meine Mutter war mit meinem Vater sehr lange verlobt. Das war eine Ehe, die noch bestimmt wurde. Sie waren entfernt verwandt miteinander. Meine Eltern haben am 7. Februar 1907 in Galizien geheiratet. Ich bin nach zehn Monaten gekommen. Ich wurde am 25. Dezember 1907 in Berlin geboren. Auf meinem Geburtsschein ist mein Name noch Rosa Goldstein, nach meiner Mutter. Meine Eltern hatten zuerst eine jüdische Hochzeit. Irgendwann mussten meine Eltern noch einmal heiraten, standesamtlich, weil die Ehe sonst nicht anerkannt worden wäre. Nachher wurde auf meinem Geburtsschein angemerkt: ‚Jakob Braw erkennt Rosa Goldstein als seine Tochter an. Und sie führt den Namen des Vaters.’ Ich habe diesen Geburtsschein noch.

Meine Schwester Betty war die zweite und wurde 1909 geboren, Erna war die dritte, sie wurde 1911 geboren, und Cilly war die jüngste Schwester, sie wurde 1913 geboren. Mein Bruder Arthur, jüdisch Anschel, war der Jüngste. Er wurde 1915, während des 1. Weltkrieges, geboren. Wir rufen ihn immer noch Anschi. Er war jetzt mit seiner Frau zu Besuch hier bei mir.

Alle fünf Geschwister sind miteinander sehr verbunden. Jeder hat einen anderen Charakter, aber wir waren nie böse aufeinander. Gut, wir haben jeder eine andere Meinung gehabt, aber wir haben uns nie richtig gezankt. Das kommt in wenigen Familien vor.

Meine Eltern waren in Deutschland Ausländer. Ich war auch nie eine Deutsche. Ich habe drei Staatsbürgerschaften gehabt, aber ich war nie Deutsche. Ich war zuerst Österreicherin. Seinerzeit, als ich in Berlin zur Welt kam, war ich Österreicherin. Ich bin 1907 geboren, aber erst 1922 war Polen entstanden. Ab 1922 war ich Polin, denn ich galt noch nach den Eltern, ich war ja noch nicht volljährig. Dann habe ich einen Ungarn geheiratet, da war ich Ungarin, und nach dem Krieg habe ich einen Österreicher geheiratet, da war ich wieder Österreicherin.

Meine Mutter hat koscher gekocht. In Berlin, in der Grenadierstrasse, waren nur jüdische Geschäfte. Da war das koschere Fleischgeschäft von Sussmann, da waren Hühnergeschäfte, das war alles koscher. Dort hat man eingekauft. Alles war bei uns koscher. Blau zum Beispiel war für milchig, dafür hatten wir blaukarierte Handtücher. Und die rotkarierten waren für fleischig. Das Geschirr war genauso extra, abgewaschen wurde auch separat. Die Tischtücher waren extra, rot für täglich, sonst hat man weiß gedeckt. Das war sehr schön zu Hause. Das Pessach-Geschirr [Pessach: Fest, das an den Auszug der Juden aus Ägypten erinnert] stand in einem riesengroßen Koffer auf dem Hängeboden. Es war sehr feierlich, wenn es dann heruntergenommen wurde. Und meine Mutter hat Gänse gekauft und im Pessach-Geschirr ausgebraten, damit wir Schmalz hatten. Die Gänseleber zu Pessach war wunderbar.

Meine Eltern sind in jüdische Bethäuser gegangen, das eine hieß ‚Ahavat Zedek’ und das andere ‚Ahavat Chaim’. Die Betstuben waren auf irgendeinem großen Hinterhof.

Wir haben in Berlin in der Templiner Straße gewohnt. Wir hatten eine große Berliner Vier-Zimmer-Wohnung. Die Toilette war in der Wohnung, und wir hatten ein Badezimmer. Es war ein sehr primitives Badezimmer, aber es war eine Badewanne drin, und ein großer Ofen, der mit Holz zum Heizen war, damit man heißes Wasser zum Baden hatte.

Wir vier Schwestern waren zusammen in einem Zimmer. Es war schmal und hatte im Eck ein Fenster. Auf der einen Seite standen zwei Betten, und auf der anderen Seite standen auch zwei Betten, und eine große Kommode mit Spiegel stand neben der Tür. Jedes Mädchen hatte einen eigenen Schubkasten - in dem hatten wir unsere Wäsche - und andere Schubkästen mit allem möglichen Krimskrams. Dann hatten wir einen Schrank, in dem die Kleider hingen.

Die neuen Sachen kamen immer zu den Feiertagen, zu Pessach und zu Rosch Haschana [Jüdisches Neujahr]. Zu Rosch Haschana kamen immer die Wintersachen. Das waren beige Mäntel, fertig gekauft. Natürlich habe ich mir gleich an der Seite ein Dreieck eingerissen. Das wurde dann genäht, gestopft, aber trotzdem mit der Zeit sah es schäbig aus. Dann haben wir wieder neue Mäntel bekommen, da trug ich schon den alten von meiner Schwester, weil meiner nicht mehr in Ordnung war. Meine Mutter hat mit mir geschimpft. Ich habe überhaupt nichts auf Kleidung gegeben. Da hat sie zu mir gesagt: ‚Rosa, wenn du wenigstens fünf Minuten länger vor dem Spiegel stehen würdest.’ Meine Mutter sagte immer: ‚An dir ist ein Junge verloren gegangen. Wie kann man so seine Sachen zerreißen?’ Ich habe immer alle Sachen genau wie meine Schwester bekommen. Ihre Sachen hingen ein halbes Jahr im Schrank, jedes Mal hat sie etwas herausgenommen und hat gefragt: ‚Na, gefällt dir das?’ Dann hat sie es zurückgehängt. Wenn sie begonnen hat ihre Sachen zu tragen, waren meine schon längst begraben, waren schon Putzlappen. Ich habe nicht aufgepasst, was ich anziehe und wie meine Haare aussehen. Die Hauptsache war, dass der Rock weit genug war, und die Schuhe sollten nicht drücken, damit ich gut laufen konnte. Zum Friseur ging ich erst, nachdem ich einen Bubikopf-Haarschnitt hatte, aber auch nur wegen der Arbeit im Geschäft meines Vaters. Zuerst hatten wir lange Zöpfe, die wurden frühmorgens, wenn wir in die Schule gegangen sind, geflochten. Mein Vater hat immer das Frühstück zum Mitnehmen gemacht. Meine Mutter hat ja mitgearbeitet; sie sollte sich ausruhen. Und dann sind wir an Mutters Bett gegangen, und sie hat die Zöpfe geflochten.

Mein Bruder schlief im kleinen Zimmer auf einem Diwan. Das Zimmer war zur Strasse. Es stand noch ein Schreibtisch in seinem Zimmer, und ein großer Fauteuil stand neben dem Kachelofen. Damals haben ja alle Kachelöfen gehabt. Den Kachelofen haben wir im Winter allein geheizt.

Dienstmädchen hatten wir nur als wir klein waren, weil meine Mutter unserem Vater in der Schneiderwerkstatt geholfen hat. Ein Dienstmädchen hieß Elsa, das andere Emma. Die beiden waren aus Pommern. Das Dienstmädchen wohnte bei uns, aber für sie wurde nur ein Bett aufgestellt. Das war früher primitiv. Die Mädels kamen alle vom Land und waren froh, dass sie sich erhalten konnten. Die Emma war eine Sabbatistin 1, die ist nur zu Juden gegangen. Am Schabbat war ihr Feiertag, am Sonntag hat sie gearbeitet. Die Sabbatisten ‑ das war eine Sekte ‑ die haben auch kein Schweinefleisch gegessen.

Meine Schulzeit

Ich habe eine jüdische Mädchenschule besucht, heute würde man sagen eine ‚Höhere Töchter Schule’. Wir mussten Französisch lernen, und Englisch war Wahlfach. Natürlich war ich zu faul für Englisch, da habe ich nur Französisch gelernt. Damals gab es keine Vorschule. Es fing in der neunten Klasse an, und es ging hinauf bis zur ersten. Die neunte Klasse war wie heute die erste Klasse, und die erste war die letzte. Die nannte man Lyzeum.

Ich habe überhaupt keinen Kontakt gehabt mit Christen. Meine Eltern auch nicht, nur geschäftlich, aber privat nicht. Aber eine christliche Jugendfreundin hatte ich, die wohnte im selben Haus. Mit der bin ich mitgegangen, wenn sie beichten ging.

Für drei Stunden, drei Mal in der Woche, haben wir bei Dr. Selbiger, das war der Lehrer, biblische Geschichte und Hebräisch lesen gelernt. Die Schreibschrift haben wir nicht gelernt, die Druckschrift haben wir gelernt. Ich konnte alle Gebete. Ich musste ja auch beten. Meine Großmutter hat da aufgepasst. Früh morgens hat man gebetet ‚Modim anachnu lo’, und abends hat man das ‚El Male Rachamim’, das Abendgebet, gesagt.

Meine Schwestern gingen auch in diese Schule. Ich musste dann aus der Schule; über mich wurde verfügt. Mir wurde vorgeschrieben, wie lange ich in die Schule gehen darf, dann musste ich die Handelsschule machen, weil mein Vater mich im Geschäft gebraucht hat. Ich musste erst einmal so eine Art Praktikum in einer fremden Firma machen. Wir hatten eine jüdische Sekretärin, die heiratete, und ich musste ihre Arbeit übernehmen. Wir hatten auch ein Detailgeschäft, Herrenkonfektion. Ich war in dem Betrieb, wo genäht wurde, und meine Schwester Betty, die dieselbe Handelsschule besuchte wie ich, hat dann in dem Detailgeschäft gearbeitet.

In der Handelsschule hat man in einem halben Jahr alles lernen müssen: Maschine schreiben, Stenographie, Buchführung, und alles in großem Tempo. Ich habe Mitschüler gehabt, die 20 Jahre alt waren, und ich war 15 Jahre alt, aber ich war besser als die anderen. Meine Mutter war nie in der Schule, um sich zu erkundigen, wie ich studiere. Es gab keine Klagen.

Ich habe dann für meine Arbeit im väterlichen Geschäft 100 Mark Taschengeld gekriegt. Ich war nicht einmal bei der Krankenkasse angemeldet. Wenn ich das gehabt hätte, würde ich heute von Deutschland eine andere Pension kriegen. Meine Schwester Betty dagegen hat beim Staatsanwalt gearbeitet, die kriegt eine herrliche Pension aus Deutschland.

Wir waren immer zionistisch eingestellt. Mein Bruder zum Beispiel war schon als 14jähriger in einem zionistisch-sozialistischen Bund und trug die blauen Hemden, die die getragen haben.

Alle meine Geschwister waren in jüdischen Vereinen mit zionistischem Einschlag. Es gab ja deutsche Juden, die gesagt haben: ‚Um Gottes willen, was haben wir dort zu suchen, Deutschland ist unsere Heimat.’ Aber das war es nicht für uns, wir waren ja Polen. Ich war im jüdischen Turnverein ‚Bar Kochba’. Das war ein jüdischer Verein, halb Sport, halb Unterhaltung. Im Sommer haben wir im Grunewald trainiert, Leichtathletik gemacht, und im Winter waren wir in der Turnhalle. Ich habe mich nicht getraut, auf die Stangen zu klettern oder auf dem Barren zu balancieren, aber andere Spiele, Völkerball und Medizinball, haben mir Spaß gemacht.

Durch die jüdischen Vereine habe ich Freunde gehabt, auch Burschen. Wir sind zum Beispiel Pfingsten ins Grüne rausgefahren. Da gab es eine Eisenbahn bis Frankfurt an der Oder, das war dritter oder vierter Klasse, da konnte man auf dem Boden auf dem Rucksack sitzen, und eine Decke hatte man zum Liegen. Wir sind in der Nacht gefahren, das war aufregend! An einem See haben wir dann geschlafen - Burschen und Mädchen. Einige Nächte haben wir in Heuhaufen bei Bauern geschlafen. Ich hatte Martha, eine gute Freundin, die immer neben mir war. Berlin hat doch wunderschöne Seen. Tretboot fahren zum Beispiel, das war immer mittwochs, und gepaddelt sind wir auch. Ich konnte nicht schwimmen, aber wir sind gerudert. Ich habe drei Mal angefangen das Schwimmen zu lernen; beim dritten Mal habe ich es aufgegeben. Das erste Mal, als ich versucht habe, schwimmen zu lernen, da hat mich der Schwimmlehrer an der Angel gehabt, und ich musste die Bewegungen machen. Und das zweite Mal habe ich ein Brett bekommen und musste das Brett vor mich herschieben. Zum Schluss hat der Lehrer gesagt: ‚Jetzt ohne Brett!’ Das habe ich nicht gemacht. Ich war feige. Ich habe Angst gehabt, ich gebe es zu. So ist das Leben.

Den Sommer haben meine Eltern eine Sommerwohnung gemietet. Als wir noch klein waren, war die erste Sommerfrische in Fichtenau, an einem See. Da haben wir die Betten und das Geschirr mitgenommen. Mein Vater ist zum Wochenende rausgekommen. Er hat gearbeitet, und wir waren mit der Mutter zusammen. Mutter hat gekocht, und wir haben ‑ genauso wie zu Hause ‑ Suppe mit Nudeln gegessen.

Wir haben alles gehabt. Wir haben wunderbar gegessen, wir haben das Beste und das Schönste eingekauft; Gänse hat man gebraten. Ich hab in der Schule manches Mal mit den Kindern Brote getauscht, damit ich ein Schmalzbrot kriege, und habe dafür mein belegtes Butterbrot mit Käse gegeben. Es hat uns an nichts gefehlt.

Mein Vater hat meine Mutter vergöttert. Er hat alles für sie und für seine Töchter getan. Meine Schwester sagt immer: ‚Was willst du denn, du warst doch der Liebling vom Papa.’ Mein Vater war ein guter Mensch. Er war nur für seine Frau und seine Kinder da. Mein Vater hat nicht geraucht, mein Vater hat nicht getrunken. Das Einzige, was er tat, war: Früh morgens, bevor er in die Werkstatt ging, hat er einen Schluck Slibowitz getrunken - ein Gläschen Slibowitz zum Frühstück. Manches Mal, wenn meine Mutter gefragt hat: ‚Sag, Jakob, was soll ich zum Mittagessen machen?’ Hat er gesagt: ‚Weißt du was? Für mich einen Milchreis mit Zucker und Zimt, das ist das Beste.’ So war er! Und wir mussten geräucherte Rinderbrust haben, bei Sussmann, in der Grenadierstrasse eingekauft. Und genau so war es mit der Kleidung: Wenn meine Mutter zu ihm gesagt hat: ‚Jakob, du musst schon neue Schuhe haben. Du musst schon endlich einen anderen Anzug haben,’ nein, er wollte nicht. Aber wenn ich etwas verlangt habe, habe ich alles bekommen.

Meine Mutter war eine Leseratte wie ich. Sie hat nur ein Jahr in Galizien die Schule besucht. Sie hatte sieben Brüder, die haben alle studiert. Der Großvater hat immer gesagt, es ist genug, wenn ein Mädchen seinen Namen schreiben kann und Brot backen, braten und buttern kann. Sie kamen doch vom Lande, und das war genug. Meine Mutter hat mir erzählt, das erste, was sie sich in Berlin gekauft hat ‑ sie hat nachher ja auch gearbeitet in Berlin ‑ war Grillparzer [Anm.: Österr. Schriftsteller 1791-1872], eine ganze Reihe Bücher von Grillparzer. Lesen und Schreiben hatte sie sich selber beigebracht. Wir hatten zu Hause eine richtige Bibliothek. Wir hatten einen Arbeiter, der war ein älterer Herr, und wir waren doch vier Mädchen zu Hause. Und der hat immer gesagt: bei den fünf Frauen im Hause Braw ist die Mutter die Klügste und die Schönste. Als wir ausgewandert sind, als Hitler kam, hat mir das Herz wehgetan, weil wir alle Bücher zurücklassen mussten.

Mein Mann

Bis zum Tage meiner Hochzeit habe ich zu Hause gewohnt. Mein erster Mann war auch ein Schneider, ein Ungar vor allen Dingen. Ein fescher, junger Bursche war er. Ich habe bei meinem Vater gearbeitet, und das war in einem Fabrikgebäude mit großen Fenstern. Mein Schreibtisch stand am Fenster. Und gegenüber war auch ein Betrieb, eine Herrenkonfektion. Da saß an der Nähmaschine immer ein gut aussehender, junger Mann. Wir haben oft so hin gelächelt, her gelächelt. Ich wusste nicht, wer er ist, und er wusste nicht, wer ich bin. Mit einem Mal kommt ein Mann rauf ‑ früher sind die Händler von Geschäft zu Geschäft gegangen ‑ und bringt mir eine Kiste, ein Kilo Konfekt: ‚Der junge Mann von drüben schickt Ihnen das.’ So fing es an. Ich nahm das natürlich an und bedankte mich.

Ich war damals noch nicht 18. Ich habe mich gefreut, warum auch nicht, aber ich habe immer lange gearbeitet. Wenn man im Geschäft beim Vater ist, dann kann man nicht um fünf Uhr Schluss machen. Meine Mutter hat immer mit meinem Vater telefoniert: ‚Wann schickst du endlich das Mädchen nach Hause?’ In der Werkstatt Knöpfe annähen; helfen, wenn Sachen gepackt wurden, um sie zu verschicken; mit den Hausdienern zur Bahn gehen, wenn die Pakete mit der Bahn weggeschickt wurden ‑ das alles musste ich machen.

Wir haben Herrenkonfektion selbst gemacht und verkauft. Wir hatten eine Zeit lang eigene Detailgeschäfte. Das eine war in Neukölln, in der Hermannstrasse, und das andere Neue Friedrichstrasse, Ecke Klosterstrasse. Damals hat man viel auf Pump verkauft, auf Teilzahlung, weil die Leute arm waren. Ein Anzug hat zum Beispiel 35 Mark gekostet, dann hatte man eine Karte angefertigt, die hat 10 Mark angezeigt, und der Betrag wurde kassiert. Das hat meine Schwester gemacht. Die Kundschaft im Detailverkauf waren weniger Juden, aber die Kundschaft im en gros waren Juden, die ganze Anzüge gekauft haben. Das waren die Leute in der Provinz. Die Pakete gingen nach Essen, nach Düsseldorf, nach Duisburg. Wir hatten auch einen Vertreter, der hatte Stoffmodelle und Stoffe dabei.

Einmal bin ich früher nach Hause gegangen. Ich war in dem Geschäft Neue Friedrichstrasse, Ecke Klosterstrasse, ging über den Hackeschen Markt in die Rosenthaler Straße in ein großes Buchgeschäft. Ich habe mir die Bücher angesehen. Ich habe Bücher gekauft, ich habe Bücher geborgt, ich habe gelesen in Verleihen ‑ nur Bücher. Also, ich stand da und habe geschaut, und hinter mir höre ich plötzlich eine Stimme langsam reden: ‚Ist das schööön?’ Ich drehe mich um, und da stand er. Er hatte auch denselben Weg wie ich, er wohnte bei seiner Schwester. Er hat gefragt, ob er mich begleiten darf, er ginge denselben Weg. Habe ich gesagt:  ‚Bitte schön!’ Dabei hat sich herausgestellt, dass er der Neffe von dem Inhaber ist, bei dem er gearbeitet hat, und dass ich die Tochter von dem Inhaber von gegenüber bin. Er hat geglaubt, ich sei eine Angestellte, und ich hatte auch geglaubt, er sei nur ein Arbeiter. Er hieß Maximilian Weisz, und wir nannten ihn Michi. Er wurde am 30. November 1904 in Nitra [heute Slowakei] geboren. So hat es begonnen!

Und dann hat er mich manchmal begleitet, dann hat er mich eingeladen. Das war an einem Samstagabend, wochentags hat man ja keine Zeit gehabt. Treffpunkt war Schönhauser Allee, an der U-Bahn Ecke Schwedter Straße. Ich habe mich angezogen, habe mich zurecht gemacht, war noch beim Friseur, denn ich bin, seit ich im Geschäft meines Vaters gearbeitet hatte, immer Samstags zum Friseur gegangen. Meine Eltern haben gewusst, dass ich ein Rendezvous habe, und meine Mutter hat gesagt: ‚Nun mach doch schon, nun geh schon, du kommst doch viel zu spät!’ Habe ich gesagt: ‚Wenn er Interesse hat, wird er warten.’ Also, jedenfalls ich bin runter, kein Mensch da. Na gut, habe ich mir gedacht, ich habe mich verspätet. Also, ich gucke, fünf Minuten sind vergangen, mit einmal kommt er angelaufen, außer Atem. Was ist passiert? Ich habe mich entschuldigt, weil ich zu spät gekommen bin. Aber er dachte, ich warte an der anderen Station, also ist er eine Station weiter gelaufen und wieder zurückgelaufen.

Am Tiergarten ist das Restaurant ‚Schottenhamel’ gewesen. Ein sehr elegantes Lokal, und er sagte, er hätte noch kein Nachtmahl gegessen. Wir sind mit der U-Bahn bis zur Station Willhelmstraße gefahren, glaube ich, oben an den Linden irgendwo. Wir sind hineingegangen, und es war sehr elegant, aber ich war koscher [nach jüdischen Speisevorschriften rituell; rein]. Er hat sich eine Fleischplatte bestellt und ich Kaffee und Kuchen. Ich habe doch kein trefenes [unrein, nicht koscher] gegessen. Ich habe gesagt, dass ich koscher bin. Ich wusste nicht, wo ein koscheres Restaurant war; meine Eltern gingen nicht in Restaurants. Anschließend gab es noch Musik dort.

Ich habe drei sehr schöne Kleider bekommen, als ich verlobt war. Ein schwarzes Satin-Kleid mit weißem Satin-Einsatz, ein weißblaues Crepe de Chine-Kleid, und das dritte, das war ein dunkelblaues Stoffkleid mit Bordeaux. Ich konnte ja nicht so mit ihm ausgehen, mit den Lumpen, die ich hatte. Diese Kleider wurden von einer eleganten Schneiderei genäht.

Mein Verlobter wurde wie ein Sohn in unsere Familie aufgenommen. Er hat fleißig gearbeitet, und ich habe fleißig gearbeitet. Wir sind nur an Wochenenden ausgegangen. Und dann vergingen ungefähr sieben, acht Monate. Meine Eltern haben gesagt, das hätte keinen Sinn, sie erlauben nicht, dass ich mich herumtreibe, ich bekäme einen schlechten Ruf. Es war gerade Rosch Haschana und Jom Kippur [jüdische Versöhnungstag; wichtigste Feiertag der Juden], und meine Eltern waren im Tempel. Ich war auch im Tempel. Natürlich wurde bei uns nicht gearbeitet.

Maximilian hat auch nicht gearbeitet, weil sein Onkel auch Jude war und in der Firma nicht gearbeitet wurde. Er kam in den Tempel mich besuchen: Die Jugend hat sich da immer angesammelt, man stand da mit Freunden herum. Meine Eltern haben ihn dort zum Kaffee zu Rosch Haschana eingeladen. Es kamen auch zwei Brüder von meiner Mutter mit ihren Frauen. Und wir sitzen so, und mit einem Mal sagt mein Vater: ‚Gehen wir bitte ins Nebenzimmer!’ Meine Onkeln und mein Vater riefen dann Michi zu sich rein. Ich dachte mir, was ist denn da los? Nach einer Weile kamen sie lachend heraus, Michi strahlte, und dann wurde mir gesagt, sie hätten ihn gefragt, was für Absichten er hätte, denn sie sähen nicht ein, dass man sich so lange herumschleppt, ich käme in einen schlechten Ruf. Und er hat gesagt, er hätte die Absicht, mich zu heiraten. Damit war die Sache erledigt. Und ich habe mich sehr geärgert, dass sie das gemacht haben.

Ich habe genug Verehrer gehabt. Zum Beispiel hat mich ein Verwandter aus Polen heiraten wollen. Er war acht Jahre älter als ich. Als er das letzte Mal in Berlin war, war ich ein Mädel von 14 Jahren. Als er weggefahren ist, war ich 15. Manchmal hatte er mich mitgenommen in einen Zirkus, manchmal in eine Nachmittagsvorstellung einer Operette. Sein Vater hatte in Oswieczim [poln. Stadt Auschwitz] eine Fleischerei und einen Pferdehandel, wie die Juden das so in der Provinz gehabt haben. Er musste zurück nach Hause, weil er der einzige Sohn war. Und wie er sich verabschiedet hat, da sagte er zu mir: ‚Rosa, wenn du 18 bist, heirate ich dich.’ Und ich mit meiner großen Klappe sagte zu ihm: ‚Natürlich!’

Irgendwann kam ein Brief an mich, aber an meinen Vater adressiert. Und er fragte, ob ich mich erinnere, jetzt wäre die Zeit, ich sei 18 Jahre alt. Ich war so stolz auf diesen Brief! Ich habe ihm zurückgeschrieben, ich hätte das Angebot bekommen, aber es seien drei Jahre vergangen, ich hätte mich verändert, er hätte sich verändert, man sähe ganz anders aus und so weiter. Und da hat er zurückgeschrieben, ich solle ihm ein Bild schicken von mir, und er hat mir auch ein Bild von sich geschickt. Ich habe ein Passbild geschickt, auf dem meine Haare zu Berge standen. Da hat er zurückgeschrieben, auf dem Bild könne man nicht viel sehen, und da habe ich ihm geschrieben: ‚Wenn du Interesse hast, bitte komm nach Berlin.’ Er hat mir gar nicht gefallen, es hat mich nur stolz gemacht, und ich habe die Realität gesehen: Er war eine gute Partie. Ich war sehr nüchtern damals, ich hatte überhaupt keine Phantasie.

Dann kam die Antwort, er könne nicht kommen, er hätte keinen Pass, ich solle kommen. Ich war schon auf dem Weg, mir einen Pass zu besorgen, da hat sich meine Mutter eingemischt. Sagt sie zu mir: ‚Rosa, überleg! Du, ein Berliner Mädchen mit deinem Wissen, du willst nach Polen heiraten?’ Das war schon Polen damals. ‚Du kannst kein Wort polnisch. Willst du in einer Kleinstadt leben, in einem Fleischerladen bedienen?’

Ich habe überhaupt nicht mehr geantwortet. Damals war ich außerdem verliebt in meinen Jugendfreund Samy. Wir wohnten im selben Haus. Kennen gelernt habe ich ihn, da war ich zehn, elf Jahre alt, und er war vier Jahre älter. Damals ist er immer stolz an mir vorbeigegangen, und ich habe noch mit Puppen gespielt. Als ich dann schon fast 18 war, war auch er in mich verliebt. Wo er mich hat fassen können, hat er mich gehabt und geküsst. Einmal waren wir auf Sommerfrische. Ich war mit meinem Bruder dort, der war damals noch klein. Samy wollte mit mir schlafen. Seine Schwester war meine Freundin, ein bildschönes Mädel, genauso alt wie ich, und ich sage zu ihm: ‚Samy was würdest du sagen, wenn das deine Schwester, die Nina, machen würde?’ Und er sagt mir: ‚Die tut so was nicht.’ Von dem Augenblick war es aus, ich habe ihn nicht mehr angesehen. So stolz war ich! Er war amerikanischer Staatsbürger, in Amerika geboren, auch seine Geschwister. Seine Eltern waren in Amerika und sind nach Deutschland zurückgekommen. In zwei Monaten war er weg. Er ist nach Amerika gegangen. Ich weiß nicht, ob er noch lebt ‑ er muss ja schon 100 Jahre alt sein ‑ aber ob er je gewusst hat, warum es zu Ende war?

Mir hatte das ja nicht gefallen, was mein Vater und meine Onkeln da mit Michi gemacht hatten, aber bitte! Michi hat gestrahlt, und ich war sehr verlegen, aber wir sind noch anschließend ins Kino gegangen. Das geschah alles im November, und am 30. November hatte er Geburtstag. Ich weiß noch, ich habe doch am 25. Dezember Geburtstag, da habe ich als Geburtstagsgeschenk von ihm einen herrlichen Kristallteller bekommen. Das war der erste Teller, den ich geschenkt bekam, und ich habe mir noch gedacht: ‚Ein Teller als Geburtstagsgeschenk? Ein Kristallteller?’ Aber der Schliff war außergewöhnlich schön. Michi war sehr spendabel, ich habe oft Geschenke bekommen.

Dann hatten wir eine richtig jüdische Verlobung, das war am 8. März 1928. Zur Verlobung sind seine Mutter und seine Schwester aus Budapest gekommen. Wir waren 80 Personen. Wir hatten damals eine Vier-Zimmer-Wohnung, drei Zimmer wurden ausgeräumt. Meine Mutter hat selbst das ganze Abendessen gekocht. Ich habe doch Freundinnen gehabt, und die Mädels waren alle da; ich habe sehr viele Geschenke bekommen. Es war eine richtig große Feier. Im letzten Zimmer wurde die Garderobe aufgehängt. Wir hatten vom Geschäft einen Lehrjungen, der kam und hat bei der Garderobe geholfen. Ich weiß noch, es gab Fische, und dann gab es Suppe, und dann gab es Fervel, Tarhonya, mit Geflügel, mit allem Möglichen. Und meine Mutter hatte Jahre vorher saure Kirschen in Weingeist eingelegt, für Likör. Da hatte sie Spiritus gekauft und die Kirschen reingelegt. Und sie hatte gesagt: Bei der ersten Familienfeier wird das aufgemacht und getrunken. Und das hat ein paar Jahre gedauert.

Ich habe während der Verlobungszeit Sofakissen gehäkelt, auf besondere Art, und Sofakissen gestrickt, und zur Verlobung hatte ich ach von Freundinnen Handarbeiten bekommen.

Michi hat sich dann selbständig gemacht, bis dahin hatte er bei seinem Onkel gearbeitet. Er hat Maschinen gekauft und gemietet. Er hat mit seinem Schwager zusammengearbeitet, und ich habe gesagt: ‚Das geht nur, solange wir nicht verheiratet sind, danach bin ich der Kompagnon.’ Und so geschah es.

Ich war die Erste, die geheiratet hat, ich war ja auch die Älteste. Die standesamtliche Hochzeit war ein Jahr später. Michi war ja damals auch noch gar nicht volljährig. In Ungarn war man erst mit 24 volljährig. Er musste noch die Bewilligung von den Eltern haben. Wie wir geheiratet haben, war er schon 24, aber als er die Papiere für die Hochzeit eingereicht hat, war er noch keine 24 Jahre alt. Er war Ausländer, und ich war Ausländerin. In Deutschland war man doch sehr genau. Ich war der Abstammung nach Polin und musste ein Ehefähigkeitszeugnis aus Polen haben. Wir haben die Angelegenheit Rechtsanwälten übergeben, die haben alles erledigt. Nur Geld musste man haben, sonst hätte man ja laufen und laufen und laufen müssen.

Dann haben wir geheiratet. Ich bestand auf dem Tempel in der Oranienburger Strasse. Wir sind in die Leipziger Strasse gegangen, die Brautspitze für das Brautkleid kaufen. In der Leipziger Strasse war auch ‚Michels’, das Seidengeschäft ‑ ein herrliches Geschäft! Da haben wir den Schleier gekauft, der war bestickt. Dann mussten die Blumen bestellt werden, der Strauss und die Myrthe, das Restaurant und das Essen. Am Alexanderplatz war das große Warenhaus ‚Tietz’, aber vorher war der Kupfergraben, und da war ein koscheres Restaurant. Gegenüber war die Grenadierstrasse, das ganze jüdische Viertel, da war das Restaurant, in dem wir das Essen bestellt haben.

Die standesamtliche Trauung ‑ das war nur ein Akt ‑ war schon sieben Wochen vor der jüdischen Trauung. Aber ich habe immer noch mit meinem Mädchennamen unterschrieben. Es ist mir gar nicht eingefallen, dass ich ja schon verheiratet bin. Die Trauzeugen bei der standesamtlichen Trauung waren mein Vater und Michis Onkel. Wir sind anschließend gleich wieder arbeiten gegangen. Und dann kam die eigentliche Trauung. Ich bin in die Mikwe [rituelles Tauchbad] gegangen. Die Cousine meiner Mutter hat mich dahin geschleppt. Samstagnachmittag- und Abend waren alle meine Freundinnen bei uns zu Hause. Es war lustig, mein Verlobter war da, und ich musste in die Mikwe gehen. Die hat mir dort die Fingernägel angeschaut, ob da eh kein Schmutz drunter ist, und ich musste untertauchen.

Sonntag war die Hochzeit. Vor der Trauung sind wir erst einmal zum Photographen gefahren. Der war am Anfang der Schönhauser Allee. Der Photograph war ein gebürtiger Russe, hieß Pergamentschik und war einer der besten Photographen. Dann kam Hitler, Pergamentschik ist nach Palästina gegangen und hatte dann dort ein Atelier.

Der Oranienburger Tempel war der schönste Tempel überhaupt in Berlin, und man sagte sogar, in ganz Europa. Es waren Leute geladen nur für die Trauung und Leute zum anschließenden Essen im Restaurant. Zwei Ehepaare müssen die Braut unter die Chuppa [Der Traubaldachin bei einer jüdischen Hochzeit – bedeutet das ‚Dach über dem Kopf’ und besagt, dass ein Haus gegründet wird] führen, die nennt man die Unterführer. Und bei uns waren das meine Eltern von meiner Seite, und von Michis Seite seine Schwester und sein Schwager, die auch in Berlin gelebt haben. Zwei kleine Mädchen, Töchter von einer Freundin, haben Blumen gestreut. Alle waren sehr elegant. Dann kamen wir, dann kamen die zwei Jungen, die die Schleppe getragen haben. Und dann kam die Hochzeitsgesellschaft. Meine vier Freundinnen trugen elegante Kleider in hellgrün, in hellblau, die dritte in malvenfarben, die vierte war in rosa gekleidet.

Dann wurden wir getraut. Aber bevor man getraut wird, wurde die standesamtliche Bescheinigung verlangt. In Deutschland war das Gesetz, denn die jüdische Hochzeit wurde ja nicht anerkannt ‑ obwohl das in Österreich damals anerkannt wurde und auch in der Tschechoslowakei. Die brauchten zu dieser Zeit nicht mehr zum Standesamt gehen. Darum sind damals viele Paare in die Tschechoslowakei gefahren, um sich trauen zu lassen, weil ihnen verschiedene Papiere gefehlt haben.

Die Schleppe meines Brautkleides wurde von zwei kleinen Jungen in Matrosenanzügen getragen, die sich gestritten haben, die waren fünf Jahre alt, der eine war mein späterer Neffe, und der andere war der Sohn von einer Freundin. Der eine Bub hat die Schleppe hingezogen, der andere hat sie hergezogen, und ich habe immer versucht, die Schleppe festzuhalten.

Nach der Trauung sind wir zum Essen gefahren. Das Restaurant war am Kupfergraben, direkt an der Alexanderstrasse. Nebenan stand das große Warenhaus Hermann Tietz. Ein Hochzeitsgast war Buchdrucker, ein bildschöner Junge, der hat die Einladungen und Tischkarten als Hochzeitsgeschenk gedruckt. Und die anderen Hochzeitsgeschenke waren, was man damals eben alles geschenkt hat. Heute macht man Listen. Von einem habe ich eine Couchdecke bekommen, eine Chaiselongue-Decke, die habe ich heute noch. Und von anderen Bettvorleger, Daunendecken und Kristalle.

Das Essen war gut, die Fische hatte meine Mutter gemacht, richtig polnische Karpfen, kalt und mit Geleesauce und Barches [jüdische Festbrot in Zopfform] dazu. Draußen war es kalt, und die Kellner hatten gar keine Lust zu bedienen; man musste sie antreiben. Es waren nur zwei oder drei Kellner. Nach dem Essen sollte man tanzen, es war doch genug Jugend da. Aber die Musik war auch schrecklich. Der Bruder meiner Freundin war ein wunderbarer Klavierspieler, der hat alles spielen können ‑ aus dem Kopf, ohne Noten. Der hat sich dann ans Klavier gesetzt und gespielt, da konnten wir dann richtig tanzen.

Dann sind wir in unsere Wohnung gegangen. Die war schon fix und fertig eingerichtet. Es war Wohnungsnot damals, und wir hatten eine Wohnung in der Alten Schönhauser Strasse gefunden, da war früher ein Polizeirevier drin. Das war Wohnung und Werkstatt zusammen. Die Wohnung war groß, da war ein riesengroßes Arbeitszimmer mit drei Fenstern zum zweiten Hof hinaus, dann hatte ich ein schönes Schlafzimmer, natürlich waren die Fenster auch zum Hof hinaus. Mein Vater ist mit mir einkaufen gegangen, und so konnten wir das schönste Schlafzimmer, en gros, aussuchen. Der Inhaber des Geschäftes, ein Großhändler, hat mir dann erzählt, dass ein Musiker dasselbe Schlafzimmer hatte. Das war Mahagoni, ganz dunkles Mahagoni mit Silber eingelegt. Und ein schönes Speisezimmer habe ich bekommen. Die Werkstatt war sogar schon hergerichtet, da standen schon die Zuschneidemaschinen; mein Mann hatte schon in der Wohnung gearbeitet. Die Hochzeitsgeschenke waren auch schon zum Teil in der Wohnung aufgestellt.

Dann kam die Hochzeitsnacht, und in der Früh höre ich Schließen an unserer Wohnungstür. Mein Mann springt aus dem Bett, zieht sich die Hosen an, rennt raus. Es war mein Vater! Er wollte das Zimmer einheizen, damit es warm ist, wenn ich aufwache. Und sogar im Schlafzimmer hat er eingeheizt. Na, meine Mutter war vielleicht wütend!

Am 10. Dezember 1929 wurde unsere Tochter Bessy geboren. Sie kam zehn Monate nach der Hochzeit. Am 10. Februar habe ich geheiratet, und am 10. Dezember ist sie geboren. Wir waren doch noch beide sehr jung, aber ich hatte meine Eltern. Die ersten sechs Wochen war ich zu Hause bei meinen Eltern. Mein Mann ist in unserer Wohnung geblieben. Er ist zu uns gekommen, und ich bin zu ihm gefahren. Tagsüber bin ich hingefahren und habe ein bisschen gearbeitet. Das Kind war ja bei meinen Eltern. Ich wusste, nach drei Stunden musste ich zurück sein, um das Kind zu nähren. Das ganze war ein Weg von nicht einmal zehn Minuten.

Mein Vater wurde ausquartiert, und ich habe mit meiner Mutter und dem Baby im Zimmer geschlafen. Wir hatten kein Kinderbett bei den Eltern, das Baby schlief in unserer Mitte. Dann hatte Bessy natürlich ein schönes, weißes Kinderbett zu Hause und einen weißen Kinderwagen, den mir meine Schwester geschenkt hat. Mein Vater hat nicht erlaubt, dass ich mit dem Kind rausgehe, es war ja schrecklich kalt. Er erlaubte es erst nach sechs Wochen und dann auch nur, wenn er mitging. Mein Vater hat immer, als meine zweite Tochter Lilly geboren wurde, gesagt: ‚Ich habe sechs Töchter!’

Als Bessy zweieinhalb Jahre alt war, bin ich mit ihr nach Ungarn gefahren, um die Schwiegereltern und die Verwandtschaft meines Mannes zu besuchen. Mein Mann ist in Berlin geblieben. Wir hatten ja die Werkstatt, und er konnte nicht weg.

Mein Schwiegervater besaß eine Bäckerei. Die Familie wohnte in der Vorstadt von Budapest, in Ujpest, das heißt Neupest. Ujpest ist zwanzig Minuten mit der Straßenbahn von Budapest entfernt. Budapest ist eine herrliche Stadt! Auf der einen Seite ist die Altstadt, auf der anderen Seite ist die moderne Geschäftsstadt. Es gab wunderbare Kaffeehäuser. Man konnte an der Donau am Kai sitzen, man hat Dampferfahrten gemacht ‑ ich habe mich sehr gut gefühlt. Und dann bin ich zurückgekommen nach Berlin - damals ist man doch noch mit der Bahn gefahren, und von Berlin nach Budapest, das waren 20 Stunden. Im Orient-Express bin ich nach Berlin zurückgefahren. Man hatte mir auch noch eine schöne Gans und Gänseleber und Salami eingepackt.

Ich bin angekommen, natürlich große Freude, und neun Monate später, am 6. Mai 1933, war meine zweite Tochter Lilly da. Und ich wollte doch nicht, ich wollte nur ein Kind haben, denn damals war es modern, nur ein Kind zu haben. Alle meine Freundinnen, die Schwägerin, die Schwester von meinem Mann, die hatten nur ein Kind. Die Schwester von meinem Mann wollte mir helfen. Die hat gesagt, ich soll Tee trinken und im heißen Wasser sitzen und vom Tisch springen - aber es hat nicht geholfen. Bis ich meiner Mutter erzählt habe, dass ich schwanger bin, und die hat kein Blatt vor den Mund genommen: ‚Was ist das? Willst du dich unglücklich machen? Was ist ein zweites Kind? Warum willst du das nicht haben? Der Altersunterschied ist gerade gut!’ Aber das Schlimmste war, sie hat das nachher meiner Tochter erzählt, als sie groß war. Und die hat mir dann immer gesagt: ‚Mich wolltest du ja nicht haben.’

Mein Mann, der zu Hause in Budapest bei seinen Eltern überhaupt nicht koscher war, hat sich mir ganz angepasst. Koscher zu leben war ja auch nicht schwierig, man hat ja alles bekommen. In der Grenadierstrasse, in der Dragonerstrasse, in der Mulackstrasse, da waren doch alles nur jüdische Geschäfte und fromme Leute. Da war ein frommer Jude, von dem hat man gesagt, der tut Buße, denn in seiner Jugend war er ein Lümmel und hat sich rumgetrieben mit den Mädels, mit den Christen ‑ also furchtbar! Und dann hat er geheiratet und hat Buße getan, er hat nur den langen Mantel und die weißen Socken getragen, und einen Bart hat er sich wachsen lassen. Rothaarig war er auch noch. Er hatte sechs Kinder. Der wohnte in der Grenadierstrasse. Die Strasse war das Zentrum des Ostjudentums in Berlin. Da sprach man polnisch und jiddisch. Es gab dort Händler mit Altwaren, Fleischgeschäfte, Fischgeschäfte, Geschäfte mit Grünzeug, Bäckereien und jüdische Restaurants. Mein Mann und ich sind sehr oft Essen gegangen, wir aßen so gern Kischke mit Fervel, und dort war das so gut. Fervel, das ist Teigware, Tarhonya ist Reibgerste aus Teig. Kischke, das ist gefüllter Darm, sauberer Rinderdarm, und der wurde gefüllt. Da wurde eine Masse gemacht aus Mehl, Fett, ein bisschen Grieß, Salz, Pfeffer, ein bisschen Knoblauch, und damit wurde der Darm gefüllt. Und der wurde mitgekocht oder mitgebraten mit dieser Tarhonya. Es wird ein Teig gemacht, ein harter Teig, und auf einer Reibe gerieben. Und da kommen kleine und größere Stücke raus, und das wird in Fett gebrutzelt. Das schmeckt wunderbar, ach Gott, ich hab das auch oft gekocht.

Es war ein jüdischer Kindergarten in der Gipsstrasse, und in der Auguststrasse war die jüdische Volksschule. Die Direktorin der jüdischen Volksschule war eine Klassenlehrerin von mir in der jüdischen Mittelschule. Ich bringe ihr meine Tochter Bessy, da sagt sie zu mir: ‚Du bringst mir schon deine Tochter?’ Ja, wir waren vier Mädchen in einer Schule. Das vergisst man nicht so schnell.

Meine Geschwister

Meine Schwester Betty, die nur ein Jahr jünger ist als ich, die ist das ganze Gegenteil von mir. Sie redet nicht so viel wie ich, und sie hing an meinem Rockschoß, wo immer ich war. Ich bin mit meinem Mann weggefahren, das war drei Monate nach unserer Hochzeit, denn wir hatten keine Hochzeitsreise gemacht, also sind wir auf fünf Tage über Pfingsten weggefahren. Nächsten Tag war meine Schwester schon da. Sie schlief mit uns im selben Zimmer.

Mein Bruder hieß Anschel wie Rotschild, zu Deutsch Arthur. Er wurde Anschi gerufen. Mein Bruder war wundervoll und ist heute noch wundervoll. Arthur war von Geburt an Zionist. In Berlin war er im Verein Haschomer Hatzair 2. Mein Vater hat gesagt, er soll studieren, aber Anschi meinte, Palästina braucht keine Ärzte und keine Doktoren, Palästina muss aufgebaut werden, da braucht man Bauern. Und nachdem er zwei Jahre im Gymnasium war, ist er weggezogen von zu Hause in seinen Verein, ich glaube es war Habonim, und dann sie sind nach Palästina gefahren. Ich war noch auf dem Bahnhof und hab ihn verabschiedet. Sie gingen ins Hule Gebiet, das war oben im Galil [Galiläa; im Norden Israels]. Da waren nur Sümpfe mit Mücken und Wespen, und die mussten gerodet werden. Dort haben sie gearbeitet, und geschlafen haben sie in Zelten. Er bekam Malaria und Typhus. Er hat viel mitgemacht. Mein Bruder lebt heute in Haifa. Seine Frau, die Rosel, war mit ihm zusammen im Bund 3, sie ist also eine Jugendfreundin. Er wurde Schlosser, hat schwer gearbeitet, von morgens bis abends. Arthur hat zwei Töchter Ruth, verheiratete Dickstein und Jael, verheiratete Rappoport. Beiden Töchtern hat er eine sehr gute Ausbildung ermöglicht.

Meiner Schwester Betty wurde 1933 aus rassischen Gründen gekündigt, und da hat meine Mutter aufgehorcht. Im Dezember 1933 ging Betty nach Palästina. Betty hatte in Berlin beim Gericht gearbeitet und war pragmatisiert. Meine Mutter, die sehr umsichtig und klug war, hat gesagt: ‚Es hat keinen Sinn, Betty, wir müssen uns alle auf den Weg machen, und du wirst die erste sein, die nach Palästina geht!’ Damals verlangten die Engländer ein Zertifikat, das bekam man, wenn man einen bestimmten Beruf ausüben konnte, zum Beispiel einen landwirtschaftlichen oder man hatte viel Geld, dann konnte man ein Zertifikat kaufen.

Betty ging auf Hachschara [‚Tauglichmachung’ für ein Leben in Palästina/Israel]. Sie wurde vom Palästina-Amt 4 nach Polen vermittelt. Dort hat sie in einer Kommune gelebt. Und sie selbst musste die blutigen Häute waschen, die man den Tieren abgezogen hatte. Sie sagte, sie hat sich so geekelt, dass es schrecklich war. Was sie dort anhatte, das hat sie nicht mehr mit nach Hause genommen, das hat sie alles dort gelassen. Sie war so empfindlich: Wenn ich gesagt habe: ,Betty, hast du ein Paar Strümpfe, kannst du sie mir borgen?’, hat sie gesagt: ,Nicht borgen, kannst sie schon behalten.’ Gott behüte, wenn jemand ihren Morgenrock angezogen hat, dann hat sie schon geschrieen.

Damals durfte man schon kein Geld mehr nach Palästina schicken. Aber auf sämtliche Pässe, die wir hatten, durfte man jeden Monat je zehn Mark schicken. Mein Vater hat durch diese Überweisungen in Palästina ein paar hundert Dollar angesammelt.

Betty hat in Palästina zuerst die WIZO 5 Schule besucht, um kochen zu lernen. Die WIZO, das war diese Frauenorganisation. Das dauerte ein halbes Jahr. Sie hat im Haus, in dem sie gearbeitet hat, nämlich bei der Mutter von Chaim Weizmann 6 ihren zukünftigen Mann, Perez Chaim, kennen gelernt. Er war Elektroingenieur bei Rutenberg. Das war eine große Stromfirma in Israel. Sein Vater war ein Theologe. Betty und ihr Mann haben keine Kinder.

Als nächste ging Erna nach Palästina. Sie war vier Jahre jünger als ich. Erna war viel zu Hause, sie hatte schlechte Augen. Auf einem Auge ist sie operiert worden, und auf dem anderen Auge konnte sie auch schlecht sehen. Sie wurde so geboren, und meine Mutter hat immer mit ihr Mitleid gehabt. Die Augen schonen: Erna bleibt zu Hause, sie wird kochen, sie wird die Hauswirtschaft führen. Wir konnten Handarbeiten machen, wir konnten stricken, wir konnten alles Mögliche machen, aber Erna durfte nicht, sie musste ihre Augen schonen. Erna hatte eine Jugendliebe, den Max Selinger. Er konnte sehr gut Geige spielen, meine Schwester hat sehr gut Klavier gespielt, und sie haben immer bei uns in der Wohnung ‑ wir hatten ja ein Klavier ‑ zusammen gespielt. Wir hatten ihn wirklich gern. Bloß seine Mutter hatte andere Pläne mit ihm. Es gab in Berlin den jüdischen Klub Nordau [benannt nach Max Nordau] 7. Erna hat in diesem Klub ihren zukünftigen Mann, Heinz-Werner Goldstein, kennen gelernt. Er war so stolz auf sein ‚Deutschtum’, immer hieß es: ‚bei uns’. Noch in Israel hat er immer alles verglichen: ‚Bei uns war es so, bei uns war es so...’ Wir nannten ihn auch schon ‚bei uns’. Er wollte in Berlin die Hochschule für Politik besuchen. Na, dann ist doch Hitler gekommen, also konnte er nicht. Da ist er nach Frankreich gegangen, um ein Zertifikat zu bekommen. Er hat dort in den Weinbergen gearbeitet.

Erna ist mit Heinz-Werner nach Palästina gegangen, aber er hat keinen Posten gekriegt, und da hat er Zeitungen ausgetragen. Meine Schwester ist putzen gegangen, und später hat sie in ihrer Wohnung einen Kindergarten aufgemacht. Er hat gearbeitet, was er gerade bekommen konnte. Sie haben zwei Kinder bekommen, Aliza und David. Als Heinz-Werner starb, hat meine Schwester ihre Wohnung in Haifa verkauft. Die Tochter und der Schwiegersohn haben noch Geld dazu gelegt und ihr eine Wohnung in Raanana gekauft, damit sie täglich mit ihr zusammen sein können. Sie braucht nur über die Strasse zu gehen. Und sie haben die Wohnung in Raanana genau so eingerichtet, wie sie es in Haifa hatte, damit sie es gut hat.

Cilly ist 1939 zusammen mit meinen Eltern nach Palästina gegangen. Cilly hat in Berlin für das Palästina-Amt gearbeitet. Sie ist in ganz Deutschland zu reichen Juden gereist, um Gelder für die Jugend-Alija [jüdische Einwanderung nach Palästina/Israel der Jugend] zu sammeln. Sie wollte mit ihrem Mann, Rudi Abraham, damals war sie schon verheiratet, nach Palästina fahren, aber das Palästina-Amt hat gesagt: ‚Wir brauchen deine Kraft, deine Sammeltätigkeit!’ Sie hat ein besonderes Auftreten gehabt: Eine elegante Frau war sie, und schön war sie auch. Man hat immer zu ihr gesagt: ‚Wenn du nach Palästina fahren willst, du musst dann nicht warten.’ Sie ist herumgefahren und hat Geld eingesammelt. Sie kann alles. Sie kann Bücher schreiben, in vier Sprachen übersetzen, und sie war Pressesprecherin von Ben Gurion 8. In Amerika war sie Konsulin unter Eisenhower 9. Eineinhalb Jahre war sie in New York.

Sie ist die jüngste von uns vier Mädchen, und sie hat die beste Schulausbildung. Wir mussten alle das machen, was unser Vater gesagt hat, und Cilly konnte machen, was sie wollte; ich weiß nicht, warum? Und das, obwohl ich die Lieblingstochter war! Sie hat das Gymnasium besucht, und gerade als die Nazis 1933 kamen, hatte sie ihr Abitur. Sie fuhr dann eineinhalb Jahre nach Lettland, nach Riga auf Hachschara. Dort hat sie ihren ersten Mann, Rudi Abraham, kennen gelernt. Er war aus Berlin, ein noch nicht fertiger Rechtsanwalt. Er war damals noch Referendar. Sie hat ihn geheiratet und ist mit ihm nach Palästina gegangen. Er musste sein Studium noch einmal beginnen, denn in Palästina galt zu dieser Zeit das türkische Recht. Er musste aber erst einmal die Sprache lernen, und Cilly war damals in Amerika, und er war alleine in Palästina. Sie haben sich auseinander gelebt. Sie war damals eineinhalb, zwei Jahre weg. Die Ehe ging auseinander. In Amerika hat sie ihren zweiten Mann, Joshua Brandstetter, kennen gelernt. Er war 23 Jahre älter als sie. Er war ein Boheme Typ. Er hat Filme gemacht und die israelische Habimah-Truppe [israelisches Nationaltheater] nach Amerika gebracht, die Schauspieler vermittelt, und er hat gemalt. Die beiden sind zusammen geblieben. Er ist an Nierenversagen gestorben.

Während des Krieges

Mein Vater wurde 1938, sofort nach der Reichspogromnacht 10, verhaftet und nach Polen deportiert 11. Er durfte zehn Mark mitnehmen und einen kleinen Aktenkoffer. Ich weiß noch, dass wir ihm seine goldene Uhr mit der Kette mitgegeben haben. Wir hatten auch noch Verwandtschaft in Polen, und ich war immer Verbindungsmann. Ich war ja mit einem Ungarn verheiratet, und ich hatte noch keine Angst. Ich hatte mir ein Visum nach Polen besorgt. Ich wollte zu meinem Vater und ihm Geld bringen. Und wie ich gerade vom Passamt komme, kommt mir meine Mutter entgegen und sagt: ‚Du musst nicht nach Polen, der Papa hat die Erlaubnis bekommen zurückzufahren und mich abzuholen, und wir fahren zusammen nach Palästina.’

Als mein Vater aus Polen zurückkam, wurde alles gepackt. Gerade damals sollte meine jüngere Tochter eingeschult werden, sie war sechs Jahre alt. Meine Schwestern hatten nicht locker gelassen und die Einreise von den Engländern bekommen. Mein Vater ist damals so schweren Herzens weggefahren, denn ich bin noch geblieben mit meiner Familie. Mein Vater hat gesagt: ‚Ich versündige mich!’ Er konnte sich nicht trennen. ‚Ich versündige mich, ich lasse mein Kind hier, und ich gehe!’ Und er hat gesagt: ‚Ich gebe keine Ruhe, bis ich euch rüberhole.’

Mein Vater hatte sich 300 Dollar gespart - in 100 Dollar-Scheinen, drei Stück. Jetzt musste er doch seine Sachen packen. Die Kisten waren schon weg. In den Kisten war sogar das Silberbesteck. Sie wurden in der Wohnung gepackt. Ich habe eine Kiste Bier bestellt. Die Zollbeamten haben gesoffen, und der jüdische Spediteur hat gepackt, sogar meine silbernen Leuchter, die durfte man ja mitnehmen, das war legal. Und wir haben gedacht, dass die Kisten, wenn die Zollbeamten in der Wohnung packen, gleich weggehen. Aber zu unserem Unglück wurden die Kisten am Zollhof noch einmal aufgemacht. Und da haben sie die Silbersachen gesehen und rausgenommen. Aber die jüdischen Packer, es war ja ein jüdischer Spediteur, die haben sie doch wieder eingepackt, die haben das geschafft. Na, also das ist dann weggegangen.

Aber wo versteckt man 300 Dollar? Ich hatte meine Wäsche zum Beispiel, die leicht rutscht, die seidene, auf solchen Wäschebrettern. Die konnte man fertig kaufen, mit so rosa Bändern wurde es dann zugebunden, damit es schön liegt. Meine Mutter kam auf die Idee ‑ sie hat sich ein Stück Pappe besorgt, sie hatte auch einen bunten Stoff, so mit Röschen bestickt ‑ ein Brett nachzumachen und die 300 Dollar hineinzuschieben. Es war nicht so schön wie die richtigen, es war etwas kleiner. Nur meine Eltern und ich wussten von dem Geld. Meine Eltern, meine jüngste Schwester Cilly und ich gingen zum Alexanderplatz, um die Koffer aufzugeben. Meine Schwester stand auf der einen Seite, ich stand auf der anderen Seite. Der Zollbeamte nahm jedes Stück raus und legte es daneben, auch die Wäschebretter. Es waren ja noch viel mehr Wäschebretter drinnen. Und er sagte plötzlich: ‚Na, wo haben Sie denn Ihre Dollar versteckt?’ Mein Vater hatte keine Ruhe, der ist immer wieder rausgegangen, spazieren. Und meine Schwester sagte frech: ‚Wissen Sie was, wenn ich Dollar hätte schmuggeln wollen, hätte ich eine bessere Möglichkeit gefunden.’ Da legte er alles wieder zurück. Mein Vater sagte damals: ‚Resi, ein Hunderter gehört dir!’ Und den Hunderter hat er aufbewahrt, bis ich das erste Mal nach Israel kam, aber ich habe meinen Vater nie mehr wiedergesehen. Er hat aber noch erfahren, dass ich einen Sohn habe. Er ist 1947 gestorben; mein Sohn wurde 1945 geboren.

Mein Mann hat gesagt: ‚Bei uns in Ungarn kann nichts passieren.’ 1939, nach drei Wochen Krieg, musste man die Wohnungen verdunkeln, und es gab Lebensmittelkarten. Die Juden haben natürlich weniger bekommen. Und außerdem hatten wir nur bestimmte Stunden am Tag zum einkaufen; wir konnten nicht während des ganzen Tages einkaufen. Da haben wir die Koffer gepackt und sind nach Budapest, weil mein Mann ja behauptet hat, in Budapest kann das nicht passieren. Ich hatte aber zur Sicherheit die Einreisedokumente für meine Kinder nach Palästina dabei.

Wir fanden eine kleine Wohnung, zwei Zimmer und eine Küche, in Ujpest. Ich hatte schon die Kisten mit meinen Sachen aus Berlin. Die Möbel hatten wir damals schon verkauft. Das waren Notverkäufe. Für mein Schlafzimmer, das 4.000 Mark gekostet hatte, habe ich 400 Mark gekriegt. Aber ich hatte andere Sachen geschickt: Bettwäsche, Gardinen, die Silberleuchter, Silberbesteck. Zu meiner Hochzeit hatte ich Federbetten bekommen, die in Polen hergestellt wurden. Meine Mutter hatte dort die Gänsefedern, die echten, bestellt. Und ich wollte damals eine besondere Größe haben. Das Mittelmaß war ja nur 1 Meter 40 breit für eine Tuchent, und ich wollte sie einen Meter 50 haben. Die wurden dann in Polen angefertigt. In Budapest hatte man weiße Inletts, und meine waren mit roten Inletts. Aber einen Teil meiner Sachen habe ich auch nach Israel geschickt, mit meiner Mutter, falls wir nach Palästina fahren würden.

‚Wartet in Ungarn’, haben meine Eltern geschrieben. Damals konnte man nach Palästina nur einreisen, wenn man ein Zertifikat darüber hatte, dass der Beruf für das Land notwendig ist. Es hieß, wir könnten nur auf Kapitalistenzertifikaten einreisen. Und zu diesem Zertifikat gehörte ein Vermögen von tausend englischen Pfund, die man den Engländern bezahlen musste. Meine Eltern haben uns geschrieben, es wird für uns Kapital in Holland hinterlegt, damit wir als Kapitalisten einreisen können. Aber zu unserem Unglück sind die Deutschen in Holland einmarschiert.

Meine Schwägerin hat mir ihre Küche gegeben; sie war eine reiche Frau. Dann hat sie mir Tisch und Stühle gegeben. Und mein Mann konnte sogar arbeiten. Er war ja selbständig in Berlin. Aber da fuhr er nach Budapest, man fuhr ja nur 20 Minuten mit der Straßenbahn. Und vis-à-vis unserer Wohnung war eine jüdische Mädchenschule. Den Juden ging es noch wunderbar damals in Ungarn. Meine Mädchen waren schon in Berlin in der Schule. Die Ältere hatte schon vier Volksschulklassen, und die Kleine hat damals die erste Klasse besucht.

Es haben zu dieser Zeit sehr viele Juden in Budapest gelebt, ich glaube 200.000.

Meine Schwiegermutter war mit mir nicht einverstanden, weil ich keine Ungarin war. Der Sohn hatte eine Deutsche geheiratet, das hat ihr nicht gefallen. Aber mein Schwiegervater war sehr nett zu mir. Zuerst konnte ich kein Wort Ungarisch, ich habe es später gelernt. Aber die Ungarn, die konnten fast alle Deutsch. Meine Schwiegermutter hatte mir sogar deutsche Briefe geschrieben. Mein Mann hatte einen Bruder, der beim Vater in der Bäckerei gearbeitet hat, der war auch Bäcker. Der war der Liebling meiner Schwiegermutter. Er hat als Einziger überlebt, die anderen sind alle ins KZ gekommen und wurden ermordet. Er hat wahnsinnig viel geerbt nach dem Krieg. Nach einem Jahr hat er nichts mehr gehabt, weil er mit Geld nicht umgehen konnte. Er hat seinen Namen magyarisiert. Sie hießen Weisz, ich hieß ja auch Weisz. Meine Kinder, vor allem die Bessy, haben nach dem Krieg gesagt: ‚Lassen wir das alles begraben sein, was da war. Familie ist Familie!’ Die Familie in Budapest war arm, das war im Kommunismus. Meine Töchter haben Kindersachen gekauft für sein Enkelkind. Ich war oft in Budapest zu Besuch. Ich habe aber nicht bei ihnen gewohnt, denn sie waren sehr arm. Ich hatte dort einen reichen Freund mit seiner Frau. Er war mit uns im Lager gewesen, von da kam die Freundschaft. Er war wunderbar. Er hieß Ferry und war Schuhmacher. Er hatte eine Werkstatt und hat elegante Schuhe gemacht. Ich habe Ungarn geliebt. Ferry ist an Leberkrebs gestorben

Mein Mann ist arbeiten gegangen, die Kinder sind in die Schule gegangen, das war kein Problem. Aber Freunde habe ich nicht gehabt, nur die Familie. Da war die reiche Tochter, die Schwester meines Mannes, die zwei Häuser und ein herrliches Geschäft gehabt hat. Sie hat uns öfter eingeladen, zum Mittagessen, zu den Feiertagen. Sie hat sich 1938 taufen lassen, sie und ihre Freundin, die auch eine sehr reiche Frau war. Meine Schwägerin hatte nur einen Sohn, Stefan ‑ Pista ist die ungarische Abkürzung. Die Freundin hatte eine Tochter. Mein Schwiegervater hat sich wahnsinnig darüber geärgert, dass seine Tochter sich hat taufen lassen. Und er hatte so einen trockenen Humor, er hat den zwei Frauen einmal die Frage gestellt: ‚Warum habt ihr das gemacht?’ Und da hat die Freundin von meiner Schwägerin gesagt, ihre Tochter würde dann eine bessere Partie machen können. Hat mein Schwiegervater zu ihr gesagt: ‚Sie kann einen versoffenen Goi [Nichtjuden] heiraten?’

Es war Weihnachten, und meine Schwägerin hatte einen großen Weihnachtsbaum. Sie hatte eine Köchin, sie hatte im Geschäft einen Verkäufer, sie war elegant, sie hatte Pelzmäntel. Wir sind alle essen gegangen, und wir waren eingeladen: ich mit meinen jüdischen Kindern. Und plötzlich legt sich die Freundin unter den Weihnachtsbaum auf die Erde und sagt: ‚Was für ein herrliches Gefühl unter dem Weihnachtsbaum zu liegen!’ Ich habe geglaubt, ich platze! Ihre Tochter und der Sohn meiner Schwägerin waren mit dem Dienstmädchen vormittags in der Kirche. Und die Kinder kamen nach Hause und zeigten die Heiligenbilder, die sie in der Kirche bekommen hatten. Die Kinder waren zehn Jahre alt, wie meine Bessy. Und die Kleine sagte, wie schön es sei, ein Christ zu sein und zeigte die Heiligenbilder meiner Lilly. Lilly war sechs oder sieben Jahre. Und meine Lilly hat immer wenig gesprochen. Die Große hat geplappert, so wie ich, aber die Kleine, was sie gesagt hat, hat gesessen. Und sie stand da und schaute auf die Heiligenbilder. Meine Große stritt, was besser ist, Jude oder Christ. Und die Kleine hörte sich das an, und mit einem Mal platzte sie heraus: ‚Ja, aber da drinnen ist dein Blut jüdisch.’

Mein Mann ist abends mit meinem Schwiegervater im Kaffeehaus gesessen, und sie haben zugeguckt, wie die Leute dort Karten gespielt haben. Ich war zu Hause mit den Kindern. Es war schon dunkel, und da kam mein Schwiegervater zu mir und sagte: ‚Resi, ich brauche die Papiere vom Michi. Es waren Kriminalbeamte in dem Kaffee, wo wir beide saßen, und Michi hatte nur seinen Pass bei sich.’ Der Pass war in Berlin ausgestellt. Es war ein ungarischer Pass, und der war noch zwei Jahre gültig. Er hatte sich ausgewiesen mit dem Pass, und die haben gesagt, der Pass könnte gefälscht sein, und man hatte ihn verhaftet.

Ich hatte keinen Heimatschein von meinem Mann, der war in Berlin geblieben, als er den Pass genommen hatte. Am nächsten Tag hat sich nichts gerührt. Es war Purim [Anm.: Freudenfest, das an die Errettung des jüdischen Volkes aus drohender Gefahr in der persischen Diaspora erinnert]. Am zweiten Tag ‑ meine Lilly ist im Bett gelegen, sie hatte keine Lust, in die Schule zu gehen, zur Purimfeier, und die Bessy ist in der Schule gewesen ‑ war ich gerade in der Küche und habe gebügelt. Es klopft, und es kommen zwei Herren rein. Sie fragen mich, wer ich bin, stellen sich vor, sie kämen von der Fremdenabteilung, und ich möchte bitte mitkommen. Sie wollten mich und die Kinder mitnehmen. Lilly war zu Hause, und meine Nachbarin hat die Bessy aus der Schule geholt. Ich hatte eine jüdische Nachbarin und habe sie gebeten, meinen Schwiegereltern in der Bäckerei mitzuteilen, was geschehen ist; dass wir verhaftet worden sind.

Meinen Pass habe ich nicht aus der Hand gegeben. Meinem Mann hatten sie den Pass abgenommen. Ich habe meinen Pass also nicht hergezeigt. Das kam gar nicht in Frage. Und dann hat man mich und meine Kinder mit der Straßenbahn ins Internierungslager gefahren. Da hat mein Mann uns gesehen. Als er uns gesehen hat, die Kinder und mich, hat er einen Weinkrampf bekommen. Ich habe ihn getröstet und gesagt: ,Michi, Hauptsache, wir sind zusammen!’

Gewohnt haben wir in Baracken, die an den Tempel angebaut waren. Mit einem Detektiv konnte ich in meine Wohnung gehen, konnte die Wäsche nehmen, konnte sogar eine Daunendecke nehmen für die Kinder, damit sie besser schlafen können. In diesen Baracken waren auch Doppelbetten. Ich war unten, die zwei Mädels waren oben. Männer und Frauen waren getrennt. Am Tage wurden wir von Detektiven bewacht und nachts von einem Polizisten. Wir waren dort vielleicht 40 bis 50 Leute. Da waren wir drei, vier Wochen, dann wurden wir in die Provinz geschickt, da waren die geschlossenen Lager an der tschechischen Grenze. Das waren ehemalige Zollhäuser. Zu uns kamen Leute von der Kultusgemeinde, die haben sich gekümmert. Die Bewacher waren Ungarn.

Ich hatte noch immer die Ausreisepapiere für meine Kinder. Und ich habe immer Rot-Kreuz-Briefe geschrieben ‑ über meinen Cousin in Argentinien, der hat das weiter geleitet ‑ und so war die Verbindung nach Palästina zu meiner Familie da. Mein Schwager schrieb aus Palästina: ‚Schick die Kinder, schick bitte die Kinder, wir werden die Kinder so erziehen, als wenn es unsere eigenen Kinder wären!’ Sie hatten ja Recht, weil die Kinder in Palästina in Sicherheit waren.

Die jüdische Gemeinde in Budapest hat das organisiert. Meine Schwägerin hatte dafür gesorgt, dass meine Kinder auf die Liste kamen und die Einreisebewilligung nach Palästina erhielten. Die Kinder haben staatenlose Pässe bekommen. Unsere Lilly wollte nicht. Sie war, als sie wegfuhren, acht Jahre alt. Bessy war elf. Sie waren dann beide einverstanden, aber die Kleine hat mir gesagt, die Große hat sie so geschlagen, damit sie ‚ja’ sagt. Damit hat sie ihr das Leben gerettet. Ich bekam die Erlaubnis, die Kinder bis Budapest zu begleiten. Mein Mann, der im Männerlager war, durfte die Kinder nur bis zur Station vom Autobus bringen. Er hat sich von den Kindern dort verabschiedet. Das letzte Mal im Leben haben die Kinder ihren Vater gesehen, das letzte Mal!

Wir mussten erst zur Eisenbahn und mit der Eisenbahn nach Budapest. Ein Detektiv hat uns abgeholt und zum Bahnhof begleitet. Lilly stand am Fenster des Zuges, und die Tränen sind ihr gelaufen. Sie sind dann mit der Bahn bis nach Bulgarien gefahren, von dort mit dem Schiff rüber in die Türkei, und von da mit dem Autobus über Syrien nach Palästina. Sie wurden von meinen Eltern in Palästina in Empfang genommen. In Palästina hatten sie schon eine schöne Wohnung und haben die Kinder aufgenommen.

Auf dem Totenschein meines Mannes hat es geheißen: Herzstillstand. Er ist an Flecktyphus gestorben, wurde mir später erzählt. Er war nach Russland geschickt worden, nach Kiew, zum Arbeitsdienst. Die mussten graben und Minen suchen.

Ich bekam dann Urlaub aus dem Internierungslager, und ich hatte noch die kleine Wohnung. Ich habe bei einem Anwalt gearbeitet, musste mich aber alle acht Tage bei der Polizei melden. Ich war die Witwe eines Arbeitsdienstlers. Ich besaß nun eine Witwenbescheinigung.

Meine Schwiegereltern wohnten damals schon in dem Haus meiner Schwägerin ‑ sie hatte doch zwei Häuser. Sie hatte die Eltern zu sich genommen, auch eine Schwester mit Kind und noch eine ledige Schwester. Dann war das Jahr 1944. Da kam Eichmann 12 nach Budapest, um ‚Ordnung’ zu machen. Ich war mit meinem grünen Witwenschein frei und musste mich melden. Mein Mann war ja tot, also hatte ich Vorteile. Ich wollte sehen, wie es der Familie meines Mannes geht, ich wollte mich ja nicht abkoppeln von denen. Ich fuhr mit der Straßenbahn hinaus, um sie zu besuchen. Es war der Tag, an dem Eichmann nach Budapest kam, am 21. oder 22. März, ich weiß das Datum bis heute. Ich stieg aus der Straßenbahn und wurde verhaftet.

Ich wurde zu einem Haus geführt, in dem cirka 400 Menschen waren, alles Juden. Und dort wurden wir eingesperrt, und kein Mensch wusste, wie es weitergeht. Wir wurden in einen Transportwagen gequetscht, und da sind wir gefahren und gefahren und gefahren. Es gab keine Fenster, also wusste man nicht, wohin man fährt. Plötzlich wurden wir ausgeladen und befanden uns auf einem großen Hof. Ich sehe mich um, und sehe, auf der anderen Seite stehen viele gefangene Männer, und wir waren ungefähr 400 Frauen. In der Mitte war eine Wasserpumpe, da hat man ein bisschen Wasser getrunken aus der Hand, und wir stehen und stehen, und es wird dunkel. Mit einem Mal werden wir in das Gebäude gerufen, die Frauen extra. Da saß ein Offizier, der schrieb die Namen auf. Und zwar ging das nach dem ABC, gruppenweise, bei ‚A’ angefangen. Und ich war doch eine der letzten, mit ‚W’, Weisz. Wir standen noch draußen und wussten nicht, was wird, aber niemand kam zurück.

Endlich kamen wir mit ‚W’ dran. Wir gingen hinein, da saß ein Herr, groß, fesch aussehend. Ob er Polizist war, das weiß ich nicht, er hatte eine hellgrüne Uniform an. Also, dann kam ich dran, und ich legte ihm den Totenschein von meinem Mann auf den Tisch, und ich habe gesagt: ‚Ich kann nicht ungarisch sprechen.’ Er schaute mich an und schaute den Schein an, dann schaute er wieder mich an, und dann sagte er auf Deutsch: ‚Sie sind Israelitin?’ Ich sagte: ‚Ja!’ Ich konnte ja nichts anderes sagen, und er guckte mich wieder an. Dann fragte er mich, wo ich hin wollte. Habe ich gesagt: ‚Ich wollte zu meinen Schwiegereltern, ich wollte sie besuchen, und da hat man mich hierher gebracht.’ Ich habe aber immer noch nicht meinen Pass gezeigt. Dann wurden wir in ein Riesenzimmer geführt, und da waren wir wieder ungefähr 400 Frauen. Es war das Untersuchungsgefängnis von Budapest, in der Nähe des Keleti-Bahnhofes. Es war Nacht, wir wurden eingeschlossen, und in dieser Nacht wurde Budapest schon bombardiert: am Tage von den Amerikanern und Engländern, nachts von den Russen. Wir saßen und haben immer die Kugeln gesehen, die leuchtenden Kugeln, die die Russen geworfen haben, bevor sie die Bomben warfen. Die Frauen haben gebetet, die nächste Bombe soll doch auf uns fallen. Denn wir haben ja das Schlimmste befürchtet, das Schlimmste überhaupt. Wir waren vier Tage drinnen: Wir kamen am Dienstag, und am Freitag wurden wir entlassen. Die wussten nicht, wohin mit uns. Die Männer wurden deportiert, das wussten wir. Aber sie wussten nicht, wohin mit den 400 Frauen. Sie hatten keine Züge. Das war unser Glück.

Ich hatte Angst, in mein Zimmer zu gehen, denn man musste ja seine Adresse angeben bei der Entlassung. Aber wir hatten eine Wiener Freundin, die in Budapest mit einem Ungarn verheiratet gewesen war, eine Witwe. Er war Christ, sie hatten eine 15jährige Tochter damals, die Susi. Ich bin zu Fuß zu ihr hingegangen. Und wie sie mir die Tür aufmachte, machte sie plötzlich solche Augen. ‚Resi, du lebst?’ Und was soll ich sagen, ich öffnete die Tür vom Zimmer, und da saß mein zukünftiger Mann, Alfred Rosenstein, mit einem Freund. Ich kannte ihn aus dem Internierungslager. Er sah mich, wir hatten noch kein Verhältnis, gar nichts, er stürzte auf mich zu, umarmte mich und sagte: ‚Resi, uns trennt niemand mehr!’

Mein Mann Alfred Rosenstein wurde am 17. April 1898 in Wien als fünftes Kind von Süsie Rosenstein ‑ geboren in Rohatyn, Galizien ‑ und Beile Rosenstein, geb. Bienstock, geboren. Süsie, ein Nachkomme des ‚HaSchalo hakadosch’ [berühmter Rabbiner, Vorläufer des Chassidissmus], war Schneider oder Textilhändler und starb 1926. Beile starb 1945 in London.
Mein Mann hatte sechs Geschwister: Moritz, Franziska, Samuel, Josef, Cilly und Hedi.
Moritz Rosenstein, Mur genannt, war Chemiker, Teilhaber an einer Erdölraffinerie in Wien und wurde vom Anschluss 13 während einer Geschäftsreise in London überrascht, wo er dann auch blieb. Er starb in den 1950er-Jahren und kam nie mehr nach Wien zurück. Seine Tochter Hanni lebt in Tel-Aviv; sein Sohn fiel im 2. Weltkrieg. Hanni hat zwei erwachsene Töchter.
Franziska Wessely, geb. Rosenstein, flüchtete aus Wien nach Jugoslawien. Sie lebte mit falschen Papieren in Slowenien und beging Selbstmord, als Ustascha-Milizionäre 14 an die Tür klopften. Die Ustascha-Milizionäre wollten sich eigentlich nur nach dem Weg irgendwohin erkundigen.
Samuel Rosenstein flüchtete mit Frau und zwei Kindern nach Holland. Er und seine Familie wurden von den Nazis ermordet.
Josef Rosenstein war Versicherungsvertreter. Auch er flüchtete nach Jugoslawien und wurde von der Ustascha ermordet.
Cilly gelang es, über England nach Australien zu emigrieren. Sie starb 1962. Ihre Tochter Fairlie Nassau, geboren 1945, lebt in Melbourne und hat zwei erwachsene Kinder.
Hedi Pahmer [geb. Rosenstein] heiratete einen Ungarn, mit dem sie nach Budapest ging. Sie wurden in das KZ Bergen-Belsen [Deutschland] deportiert, wo sie den Krieg überlebte. Nachher emigrierte auch sie nach Australien.
Die Familie Rosenstein lebte im 3. Wiener Bezirk, in der Unteren Weißgerberlände. Mein Mann besuchte die Volks- und Hauptschule. 1916 wurde er zum k. u. k Militär 15 eingezogen und war Artillerist an der italienischen Front. Nach dem 1. Weltkrieg arbeitete er bei seinem Bruder Moritz, spielte Fußball bei Hakoah 16 Wien und verbrachte viel Zeit mit Freunden im Kaffeehaus. Er wohnte bis zu seiner Flucht nach Ungarn bei seiner Mutter, deren ‚verwöhnter Liebling’ er gewesen sein soll. Während der Emigration war er zuerst im Internierungslager und, nach dem Einmarsch der Deutschen, in einem Versteck.
Ich kannte meinen zukünftigen Mann aus dem Lager. Er war so charmant, die Frauen waren verrückt nach ihm. Mein Mann ist dann erst einmal zu mir gezogen. Nicht nur er, da kam noch ein Freund von ihm dazu, und dann kam eine Nichte von mir aus Ungarn. Sie hatte von einer Freundin einen Geburtsschein bekommen, von einer Christin, und ist dann geflüchtet. Ein bildschönes Mädchen, die Jola. Ein christlicher Freund von meinen Schwiegereltern wusste meine Adresse in Budapest. Und sie kam zu mir. Mein Mann schlief in einem Bett mit dem Freund, und sie schlief mit mir in einem Bett. Später ist sie nach Amerika ausgewandert. Sie hat einen Witwer, dessen Frau umgekommen ist, mit einem kleinen Sohn kennen gelernt. Der hat sich in sie verliebt, und mit dem ist sie nach Italien. Von Rom hat sie mir noch eine Karte geschrieben, dass sie geheiratet hat und mit ihm nach Amerika geht. Sie hat noch vier Kinder bekommen, zwei Töchter und zwei Söhne.

Wir hatten einen gemeinsamen Bekannten, der war mit uns im Lager, der war ein jugoslawischer Jude. Er hatte sich ein paar Monate vorher falsche Papiere gekauft. Ausgesehen hat er wie zehn Juden. Der hat den Hausmeister einer Villa bestochen, und wir haben uns dann zu neunt in einem Zimmer vor den Massendeportationen versteckt. Der Hausmeister hat Geld dafür genommen, den konnte man bestechen. Am Ende, als schon alles aus war, als wir schon getanzt haben auf der Strasse, kamen aus der Nebenvilla plötzlich 60 Juden, die der Hausmeister für Geld und Schmuck versteckt hatte; in Kohlenkellern und überall. Deswegen sage ich, in Budapest konnte man alles für Geld bekommen.

Ich hatte gemerkt, dass ich schwanger bin. Und ich habe gesagt, entweder das Kind geht mit mir zu Grunde, oder ich tue etwas. Und mein Mann hat gesagt: ‚Du tust gar nichts. Wenn wir überleben, werden wir das Kind haben.’ Er hat es nicht erlaubt. Aber ich bin trotzdem gegangen. Der Arzt, der im Ghetto war, hat gesagt: ‚Ich tue nichts, wollen Sie an Sepsis sterben?’ Er hatte ja keine Instrumente, gar nichts. Und mein Mann hat gleich gesagt: ‚Kommt nicht in Frage, dass du was tust. Wir werden heiraten!’ Unser Sohn Georg wurde am 27. Juni 1945 in Budapest geboren. Na gut, das hat noch gedauert, bis wir geheiratet haben, das war 1947, da war unser Sohn eineinhalb Jahre alt.

Wir lagen mit Mänteln in dem Zimmer ‑ es waren keine Fenster mehr da ‑ plötzlich höre ich eine Stimme durch ein Megaphon: ‚Hier spricht die Russische Armee. Budapester wartet, wir werden euch befreien!’ Um Budapest herum ist ein Hügel. Es hat Tage gedauert, bis die rüber kommen konnten. ‚Harrt aus, wir befreien euch!’ In deutscher Sprache, in ungarischer, in russischer Sprache. Und so haben wir gewartet. Und eines schönen Tages, es war Sonntag, stehe ich so hinter dem Fenster, es war eine Totenstille, und ich sehe, wie durch den Garten ein Russe mit Pelzmütze und Maschinengewehr kommt. Ich drehe mich um und sage: ‚Ein Russe ist da!’ Und einer rennt hinunter in den Garten und umarmt den Russen. Und als er wieder zurückkommt, Steiner hieß er, hat ihm die Uhr gefehlt. Aber er hat gesagt: ‚Macht nichts!’

Meine Freundin war woanders versteckt. Das war eine Tschechin, die war versteckt in einem Kohlenkeller. Die hat immer gesagt: ‚Dem ersten russischen Pferd, dass mir begegnet, dem küsse ich den Hintern!’

Nach dem Krieg

Ich bin nach der Befreiung in Budapest durch die Stadt gegangen, und ich stand am Zaun des Tempels und habe zugeschaut, wie die Russen die Toten aus dem Ghetto dort beerdigt haben. Überlebende konnten ihre Toten herausnehmen und privat beerdigen. Tony Curtis 17, der Filmschauspieler, der ist doch ein Ungar, ein Budapester Jude, der hat dann dort einen Baum aufstellen lassen, eine herrliche Weide, die glänzt wie Gold. Auf die Blätter kann man die Namen der Ermordeten schreiben lassen.

Ich bin in Ungarn geblieben, ich habe gesagt, ich gehe nicht nach Wien, bis wir eine eigene Wohnung haben. Und mein Mann hat immer gesagt, es gibt noch nichts zu essen, kein Fleisch beziehungsweise nur Schwein. Ich habe mich in Ungarn sehr wohl gefühlt. Ich habe gesagt: Ich gehe erst weg, wenn ich eine eigene Wohnung habe, und wenn genug zu Essen da ist. Und so ist er immer hin- und hergefahren, und immer hat es geheißen: noch nicht, noch nicht.

Seine Schwestern hatten vor dem Krieg ein Restaurant – ‚Grill am Peter’ hieß das ‑ aber das war arisiert worden. Und dann wollte mein Mann Wiedergutmachung beantragen, das Vermögen zurückbekommen. Das Lokal gehörte eigentlich seiner ältesten Schwester, die umgekommen ist. Die hatte es für die Geschwister eingerichtet. Die Geschwister meines Mannes waren in Australien. Die haben damals das Lokal den Nazis übergeben. Sie haben eine Bescheinigung erhalten, dass sie 5.000 Mark bekommen haben, daraufhin konnten Sie legal nach England. Eine Schwester hat einen Mann geheiratet, mit dem sie nach Australien ging. Die andere Schwester wurde nach Bergen-Belsen deportiert, die hat mit einer schweren Verletzung überlebt. Sie musste erst wieder laufen lernen, und sie ging dann auch nach Australien.

Mein Mann hat einen Prozess angestrebt ‑ damals gab es Rückgabe-Gerichte. Und da waren immer nur zwei Richter da. Die Arierin, die das Lokal übernommen hatte, war tot. Ihr Sohn hatte es übernommen. Beim ersten Prozess hat mein Mann ein Angebot erhalten, als Entschädigung 35.000 Schilling zu bekommen. Unser Rechtsanwalt war der Doktor Pik, der spätere Präsident der Kultusgemeinde. Er war ein Schulkollege meines Mannes. Beim zweiten Termin wurden 65.000 Schilling geboten. Da hat der Anwalt zu meinem Mann gesagt: ‚Wenn er schon 65.000 gibt, dann wird er noch mehr geben.’ Beim dritten Mal waren drei Richter anwesend. Zwei haben gesagt, man muss es zurückgeben. Mein Mann wollte gar nicht das Geld, er wollte das Lokal zurück haben, damit wir eine Existenz haben. Der dritte Richter hat gesagt, man kann dem jungen Mann, der es jetzt besaß, nicht die Existenz wegnehmen, da er mit der Arisierung nichts zu tun hatte. Das war schon damals die Einstellung. Der junge Mann hat das Lokal gekriegt, weil sich nicht alle drei Richter einig waren. Mein Mann hat nichts für das Lokal bekommen.

Mein Mann hatte eine Bescheinigung, dass er rassisch verfolgt und im Lager gewesen war. Damals waren die Bezirke Wiens unter den Siegermächten aufgeteilt. Unser Bezirk hatte einen kommunistischen Bürgermeister, und mein Mann hat durch diese Bescheinigung die Wohnung zugewiesen bekommen.

Ursprünglich wollte ich nicht nach Österreich, ich wollte zu meinen Kindern und meinen Eltern nach Israel. Aber da hat mein Mann gesagt, er habe keinen Beruf für Israel. Er war Geschäftsmann und hatte für seinen Bruder, der eine große Ölfirma hatte, gearbeitet. Er war Vertreter für diese Sachen. Das war kein Beruf für Israel. Da musste man Geld haben, Geld, um sich selbständig zu machen. Was hätte er machen sollen in dem Alter? Er war ja zehn Jahre älter als ich, auch nicht mehr so ein Jüngling. Er wollte nach Österreich, um Wiedergutmachung zu beantragen, das Geld zu bekommen, damit wir nach Israel gehen könnten.

Ich bin hier in Wien geblieben, weil ich nicht wollte, dass mich meine Kinder oder meine Verwandten aushalten. Das erste Mal fuhr ich mit meinem Sohn 1949 nach Israel. Damals ist man noch mit dem Schiff gefahren. Und das erste Geld, das mein Mann damals bekommen hat, war eine Wiedergutmachung, das waren 16.000 Schilling. Er hat gesagt: ‚Fahr du, um deine Kinder zu sehen.’ Für uns zwei hätte das Geld nicht gereicht.

Damals bin ich fünf Tage mit dem Schiff hingefahren. Es war schön. Da hat noch meine Mutter gelebt. Sie hatte eine hübsche Zweieinhalb-Zimmer-Wohnung in Tel Aviv. Meine Schwester hatte eine wunderschöne Wohnung direkt am Meer in der Hayarkon [Straße am Meer in Tel Aviv]. Nachher hat man da Hotels hingebaut, da konnte man das Meer von der Wohnung aus nicht mehr sehen.

Meine Tochter Bessy war schon mit Herrn Aharoni verheiratet und hat schon ein Baby von fünf Monaten gehabt. Sie hat mit 18 Jahren im Militär geheiratet, im israelischen Militär. Sie hat dann später zehn Jahre in der Stadtverwaltung gearbeitet und sich um alte Leute gekümmert.

Lilly, verheiratete Drill, ist ein Jahr zu mir nach Wien gekommen. Sie war damals genau 18, das war 1951. Sie hatte in Israel die Schule besucht, aber sie konnte natürlich Deutsch sprechen. Meine Mutter hat nie hebräisch gelernt. Meinen Vater habe ich nie wieder gesehen, das war furchtbar. Lilly wollte von Anfang an Lehrerin für behinderte Kinder werden, sie ist dafür in Wien in eine Schule gegangen.

Mein Sohn ging nach der Matura nach Israel. Das war kurz nach dem Tod meines Mannes [1961]. Er lebte im Kibbuz und studierte Psychologie. Er nahm dort den Namen Zwi Bar-David an. Er heiratete Ilana, deren Familie mütterlicherseits auch aus Berlin kommt, aus dem Scheunenviertel, und bekam zwei Töchter und einen Sohn. Wegen einer Muskelerkrankung seines Sohnes zog er mit seiner Frau, meinem damals dreijährigen Enkel Ofir, und Noemi, seiner jüngeren Tochter, nach Wien. Seine ältere Tochter Noga lebt in Israel und arbeitet als Krankenschwester. Mein Enkel absolvierte dieses Jahr mit sehr guten Leistungen die Matura und studiert an der Technischen Universität in Wien.

Die Österreicher waren mir unsympathisch. Ich habe sie immer als Nazis gesehen. Einmal, Anfang der 1950er-Jahre, war ich zwei Monate in Israel. Als ich wieder in Wien war und zu meinem Bäcker ging und Brot kaufte, fragte mich die Bäckersfrau: ‚Sagen Sie Frau Rosenstein, wo waren Sie so lange?’ Sagte ich: ‚Ich war in Israel!’ Guckte sie mich an und sagte: ‚Sie sind eine Jüdin? Sie sehen aber nicht so aus!’ Darauf habe ich ihr geantwortet: ‚Warum Frau Schubert? Ich habe keine Hörner auf dem Kopf?’ Sagte sie: ‚Nein, um Gottes Willen, ich will nichts sagen. Wir haben einen Lieferanten gehabt, den Mehljud, und das war auch ein anständiger Mensch.’ Das war Anfang der 1950er-Jahre. Im Laufe der Jahre hat sich das nicht so sehr verändert. Es geben uns doch hier der Haider 18 oder der Stadler [Ewald, FPÖ-Politiker] genug Gelegenheit, daran zu denken. Wenn man auch vergessen will, man kann nicht. Wir kriegen immer wieder eins auf den Kopf.

Ich hatte keinen Antisemitismus in Deutschland empfunden. Ich hatte in der Werkstatt meines Vaters mit unseren christlichen Arbeitern gelacht und gescherzt. Viele haben auch gewusst, wann unsere Feiertage waren. Am liebsten wäre ich nach dem Krieg wieder nach Berlin gegangen. Ich glaube, mein Mann wäre auch gern mitgegangen. Das war aber nicht möglich. Dann kam dieses Unglück mit der Krankheit: Er bekam Krebs. 1961 starb mein Mann, da war er 63 Jahre.

Ich wollte nicht mehr heiraten. Man hat es mir angetragen, und es hat sich sogar einer gemeldet, ein Freund meines Mannes. Da war mein Mann gerade zwei Jahre tot, es war Weihnachten, meine Familie hat hier gewohnt, und die Kinder waren noch jung. Ich habe kein Interesse gehabt. Ich habe nur zwei Männer in meinem Leben gehabt, und ich weiß, dass beide mich geliebt haben. Die wurden nicht vermittelt, die haben mich so kennen gelernt, wie ich bin. Mein erster Mann ist mir ein ganzes Jahr hinterher gelaufen.

Ich war mit meiner Schwester in Berlin, aber damals war noch Ost und West. Und wir hatten einen Bekannten, der auch schon im Westen war, noch von der Jugend, ein Nachbarskind, der Sali, und wir wollten rüber in den Osten, in unsere Heimat, fahren. Man musste 25 Mark wechseln, in Ostmark. Und er hat gesagt: ‚Nein, um Gottes Willen, wer weiß was passiert, vielleicht werdet ihr Unannehmlichkeiten haben.’ Und er hat es uns ausgeredet. Später war ich mit meiner Enkeltochter in Ost-Berlin. Ich bin nicht da hingegangen, wo wir gewohnt haben, ich konnte das nicht.

Glossar

1 Sabbatisten

Die Sabbatisten leiteten sich aus einer der anerkannten Konfessionen Siebenbürgens des 16. Jahrhunderts her und näherten sich in der ersten Hälfte des 17. Jahrhunderts immer mehr dem Judentum. Die Heilige Schrift war für sie einzig das Alte Testament. Der christliche Sonntag wurde durch den jüdischen Sabbat ersetzt. Der Widerstand gegen diese ‚neue’ Religion war heftig, besonders von Seiten der katholischen Kirche.

2 Haschomer Hatzair [hebräisch - ‚Der junge Wächter‘]

Erste Zionistische Jugendorganisation, entstand 1916 in Wien durch den Zusammenschluß von zwei jüdischen Jugendverbänden. Hauptziel war die Auswanderung nach Palästina und die Gründung von Kibutzim. Aus den in Palästina aktiven Gruppen entstand 1936 die Sozialistische Liga, die sich 1948 mit der Achdut Haawoda zur Mapam [Vereinigte Arbeiterpartei] Zusammenschloss.

3 Bund

Ungefähr zeitgleich mit dem ersten Zionisten-Kongress in Basel entstand 1897 auf der Konferenz in Wilna aus der Vereinigung der jüdisch-sozialistischen Gruppen die einheitliche Partei der Bund. Dank ihrer energischen Tätigkeit gelang ihnen rasch der Aufstieg und Erfolg, vor allem in Russland und Polen. Durch die Machtzunahme Stalins in der Sowjetunion wurden die Bundisten alsbald aufgelöst oder gingen in andere bzw. in die einzig zugelassene Kommunistischen-Partei über. Der polnische Bund hingegen, der kontinuierlich weiter arbeiten konnte, beeinflusste in starkem Ausmaß sowohl die gewerkschaftliche als auch kulturelle Arbeit und stellte selbst im politischen Leben einen bedeutenden Faktor dar. Die Bundisten waren Anhänger des Gedankens einer national-kulturellen Autonomie und damit Vorkämpfer der Jiddischen Sprache als Nationalsprache.

4 Palästina-Amt

Auswanderungs-Organisation der Jewish Agency in Deutschland, die ausschließlich die Auswanderung der jüdischen Bevölkerung nach Palästina durchführte. Das Palästina-Amt kümmerte sich um die nötigen Visa und den Transport der EmigrantInnen. Nach dem Novemberpogrom 1938 wurde das Amt unter stärkere Kontrolle gestellt, konnte aber noch bis Frühjahr 1941 weitgehend eigenständig arbeiten.

5 Wizo

Akronym für Womens International Zionist Organisation. International tätige zionistische Frauenorganisation.

6 Weizmann, Chaim [1874-1952]

Wissenschaftler, Präsident der Zionistischen Weltorganisation und erster Präsident Israels. Weizmann wurde in Weißrussland geboren, ging 1892 nach Deutschland, wo er in Darmstadt und Berlin Chemie studierte, wurde 1901 Professor and der Universität in Genf und drei Jahre später in Manchester. Er begrüßte Theodor Herzls Aufruf zur Teilnahme der Juden am ersten Zionistischen Kongress; beim achten Kongress 1907 wurde Weizmanns Einstellung eines Synthetischen Zionismus – politische Aktivität in Verbindung mit praktischer Arbeit ‑ übernommen. 1920 wurde er zum Präsidenten der Zionistischen Weltorganisation gewählt, hielt das Amt bis 1931 sowie von 1935 bis 1946. Drei Jahre später wurde er von der Konstituierenden Versammlung zum ersten Präsidenten des Staates Israel gewählt. Trotz seiner schweren Krankheit wurde er 1951 für eine zweite Amtsperiode wiedergewählt; Weizmann starb jedoch ein Jahr später in seinem Haus in Rechovot.

7 Nordau, Max [geboren Simon Maximilian Suedfeld] [1849-1923]

Mitbegründer der Zionistischen Weltorganisation, Philosoph, Schriftsteller, Redner und Arzt. Nordau wurde 1895 mit Theodor Herzls Idee eines jüdischen Staates vertraut, nahm diese begeistert auf und fungierte als Vizepräsident und Präsident auf zahlreichen Zionistischen Kongressen. Nordau war ein Anhänger des Politischen Zionismus und glaubte, dass eine große Zahl von Diasporajuden nach Israel geführt werden sollte, um so auch politische Unabhängigkeit zu erreichen. Diese Ansicht wurde von anderen zionistischen Führern als unrealistisch zurückgewiesen. Max Nordau starb 1923 in Paris; seine sterblichen Überreste wurden 1926 nach Tel Aviv überführt.

8 Ben Gurion, David [geboren David Grün] [1886-1973]

Politiker und erster israelischer Ministerpräsident. Ben Gurion wurde in Plonsk, Polen, geboren und ging 1906 nach Israel, wo er ab 1910 in Jerusalem gemeinsam mit Jitzchak Ben Zwi für die Zeitung der Palei Zion, „Ahdut”, arbeitete. Ab 1912 studierte er Jura an der Universität in Istanbul, wurde im März 1915 allerdings ausgewiesen und ging nach New York. Ben Gurion wurde nach dem 1. Weltkrieg Mitbegründer der Gewerkschaft Histadruth und war von 1930 bis 1965 Vorsitzender der Arbeiterpartei Mapai. 1948 proklamierte er den unabhängigen Staat Israel, war bis 1953 Ministerpräsident, danach Verteidigungsminister, als welcher er entscheidenden Anteil an den Siegen Israels in den beiden ersten Israelisch-Arabischen Kriegen hatte, und von 1955 bis 1963 erneut Ministerpräsident. Im Jahr 1970 zog sich Ben Gurion endgültig aus der Politik zurück und lebte im Kibbuz Sde Boker, wo er am 1. Dezember 1973 starb.

9 Eisenhower, Dwight David [1890-1969]

Amerikanischer General, Politiker und 34. Präsident der Vereinigten Staaten. Während des 2. Weltkriegs war er Chef der Operationsabteilung des Generalstabs, Oberbefehlshaber der amerikanischen Truppen in Europa und koordinierte von London aus die Streitkräfte für den Krieg in Afrika und Europa. Am 7. Mai 1945 kam es im Hauptquartier Eisenhowers zur Unterzeichnung der deutschen Kapitulation. Eisenhower wurde in Folge Generalstabschef der US-Armee und NATO-Oberbefehlshaber von 1950-52. Im November 1952 gewann er die US-Präsidentschaftswahl. 1953 erlangte er das Waffenstillstandsabkommen im Koreakrieg, 1956 konnte er gemeinsam mit der Sowjetunion die Suezkrise beilegen, im selben Jahr wurde er als Präsident der USA wiedergewählt. 1961 übergab er die Regierungsgeschäfte an John F. Kennedy und zog sich auf seine Farm bei Gettysburg zurück. Eisenhower starb am 28. März 1969 in Washington D.C.

10 Reichspogromnacht; Novemberpogrom

‚Kristallnacht’ ist die Bezeichnung für das [von Goebbels organisierte] ‚spontane‘ deutschlandweite Pogrom der Nacht vom 9. zum 10. November 1938. Im Laufe der ,Kristallnacht’ wurden 91 Juden ermordet, fast alle Synagogen sowie über 7000 jüdische Geschäfte im Deutschen Reich zerstört und geplündert, Juden in ihren Wohnungen überfallen, gedemütigt, verhaftet und ermordet.

11 Polenaktion 1938

Rosa Rosenstein bezieht sich hier vermutlich auf die sogenannte "Polenaktion", die Deportation von etwa 17.000 Jüdinnen und Juden polnischer Staatsbürgerschaft aus dem Deutschen Reich zur polnischen Grenze Ende Oktober 1938. Zu den Ausgewiesenen zählte die Familie Grynszpan aus Hannover, deren Sohn Herschel in Paris lebte. Als Herschel vom Schicksal seiner Familie erfuhr, verübte er aus Protest gegen die Deportation am 7. November 1938 ein Attentat an der deutschen Botschaft in Paris, das den Tod des Botschaftssekretärs Ernst vom Rath zur Folge hatte. Dies nutzten die Nationalsozialist*innen als Vorwand für die darauffolgenden Novemberpogrome. Nach den Novemberpogromen - der Zeitpunkt, den Rosa für die Deportation ihres Vaters benennt - wurden tausende jüdische Männer aus Berlin nach Sachsenhausen deportiert, nicht jedoch nach Polen. Es ist jedoch wahrscheinlich, dass Rosa den Zeitpunkt der "Polenaktion" durcheinanderbringt.

12 Eichmann, Otto Adolf [1906-1962]

SS-Obersturmbannführer, organisierte die Vertreibung und Deportation der Juden aus Deutschland und den von Deutschland besetzten Gebieten. Nach dem Anschluss im Jahre 1938 baute er in Wien die Zentralstelle für jüdische Auswanderung auf, welche die zwangsweise Ausreise der jüdischen Bevölkerung aus Österreich betrieb. Ab 1941 war Eichmann für die Organisation der Deportation der Juden aus Deutschland und den besetzen europäischen Ländern zuständig und mitverantwortlich für die Ermordung von sechs Millionen Juden. 1960 wurde Eichmann von Mossad-Agenten in Argentinien gefasst und nach Israel gebracht, wo er wegen Verbrechen gegen das jüdische Volk vor Gericht gestellt, zum Tode verurteilt und hingerichtet werde.

12 Anschluss

Der Anschluss Österreichs an das Deutsche Reich. Nach dem Rücktritt von Bundeskanzler Schuschnigg am 11. März 1938 besetzten in ganz Österreich binnen kurzem Nationalsozialisten alle wichtigen Ämter. Am 12. März marschierten deutsche Truppen in Österreich ein. Mit dem am 13. März 1938 verlautbarten ‚Verfassungsgesetz über die Wiedervereinigung Österreichs mit dem Deutschen Reich‘ war der ‚Anschluss‘ de facto vollzogen.

13 Ustascha

Rechtsradikale kroatische Bewegung, die 1929 von Ante Pavelic gegen den großserbischen Zentralismus und für eine kroatische Unabhängigkeit gegründet wurde. Die Ustascha stellte 1941, nach der Unabhängigkeit Kroatiens, Truppen auf, die sich unter dem Schutz des nationalsozialistischen Deutschlands und des faschistischen Italiens mit blutigem Terror durchsetzten. Nach dem Zusammenbruch Kroatiens im Jahr 1945 ging Pavelic ins Exil. Der damals aufgestaute Hass führte noch im Bürgerkrieg in den 90er-Jahren zu Racheakten serbischer Tschetniks.

14 Kaiserlich und königliche Armee

Die Abkürzung k.u.k steht für ‚kaiserlich und königlich’ und ist die allgemein übliche Bezeichnung der Armee Österreich-Ungarns, die ein Konglomerat aus verschiedenen Nationen, Waffengattungen und Interessen war.

15 Hakoah

Hakoah Wien ist ein 1909 gegründeter jüdischer Sportverein. Der Name ist hebräisch und bedeutet ‚Kraft‘. Bekannt wurde vor allem die Fußballmannschaft [gewann 1925 die österreichischer Meisterschaft]; der Verein brachte auch Ringer, Schwimmer und Wasserballer hervor, die internationale und olympische Titel für Österreich errangen.
Nach dem Anschluss Österreichs 1938 an das Deutsche Reich wurden die Spielstätten beschlagnahmt und der Verein 1941 verboten.

16 Curtis, Tony (geboren Bernhard Schwartz)

Amerikanischer Filmschauspieler ungarisch-jüdischer Abstammung.

17 Haider, Jörg

Österreichischer Politiker, 1986 stürzte er am Innsbrucker Parteitag den damaligen FPÖ-Chef Norbert Steger. 1989 wurde Haider mit Stimmen der ÖVP zum Kärntner Landeshauptmann gewählt, drei Jahre später jedoch aufgrund seiner Aussage zur  ‚ordentlichen Beschäftigungspolitik im Dritten Reich’ abgesetzt. 1993 organisierte er das sogenannte  ‚Ausländer-Volksbegehren’, das ein Misserfolg wurde. Bei den Nationalratswahlen 1999 wurde die FPÖ erstmals seit ihrer Gründung zur zweitstärksten Partei Österreichs.

Istvan Domonkos

Istvan Domonkos
Budapest
Hungary
Interviewer: Mihaly Andor
Date of interview: December 2004 – January 2005

Istvan Domonkos is a skinny, strong-minded, accurate gentleman, who lives in his inherited house in Rakospalota. The house is in need of a little reparation both on the inside and outside; it can be seen that its owner has never considered money the most important, but principles.

My family background
Growing up
During the war
Post-war
War memories
Married life
Post-war events
Political activities
My children
Glossary

My family background

My paternal grandparents, Mor Fleischmann and Rozalia Kalisch, got married on 2nd April 1889. The wedding was in Vagvecse [today Slovakia] where my great-grandfather Gyorgy Kalisch and his family lived. I don’t know when my grandmother was born; I only know that she died in 1942. The Fleischmann family lived in Zsambek at that time, where my other great-grandfather, Joachim Fleischmann was a rabbi. Mor was born in Abony in 1858, and he was a child when the family moved to Zsambek. His marriage to Rozalia Kalisch was his second marriage, because earlier he had married Kati Rosenberg with whom he had a son, Miklos. He divorced her, and Miklos stayed with his mother. Then sometime, I don’t know when, Miklos magyarized from Fleischmann to Meszaros. I don’t know anything else about my father’s stepbrother.

Mor Fleischmann was a merchant, but they lived among really modest circumstances in Budapest. One year after the marriage, in 1890 my father Miksa was born. The marriage of my grandfather and grandmother only lasted for eight years, because my grandfather died at the age of 39 in 1897.

I barely know anything about the maternal branch, because after the three children were born our parents divorced. The two boys [i.e. the interviewee and his brother] stayed with Father, and my sister stayed with our mother. As far as I know my mother didn’t remarry. She lived with my younger sister at her parents’, with the Rozsa family. They had a tin-wear factory, which prospered quite well. The Rozsa family was wealthy. So I didn’t even know my maternal grandparents, I don’t know when my mother was born either. After they divorced I never met my mother. I did meet my sister. We started getting together with my sister when I was a teenager. But she never told us anything about that family, and we didn’t ask either. I only know that my sister felt good at home. As far as I know my father didn’t have to pay alimony, probably because they split the burden, since the two boys remained with him.

My father went to a Jewish elementary school, and then he graduated from middle school, and then the Commercial Academy. The Commercial Academy was a school of high standard, it gave a high school diploma, they taught several languages, and they put the emphasis on practice. So the smart Jewish parents sent their children to study there with pleasure. My grandmother already raised him alone at that time; I don’t know what they lived off. I know that they lived among moderate means, and that my grandmother managed a kosher household. She was religious, too. My father wasn’t religious at all.

I think my father got a scholarship from some kind of a Jewish organization. I suspect this from the fact that he got very valuable books on Jewish topics and an 11-volume Goethe series in Gothic type. Besides that he also got a 5-6 volume Heine in Gothic type. After my father graduated from the Commercial Academy he spent two years in Germany at a technical college. That’s how he became entitled to be an artificer officer and to get a civil job.

He spoke German perfectly, he was absolutely fluent and he was handsome, perhaps this also played a role in the fact that the Caterpillar made an arrangement with him to introduce the caterpillar tractors in Middle Europe, which was a great novelty at that time. And my father played an important role in the entire Middle European propagation. He magyarized his name to Domonkos at this time, sometime around 1910, because the name Fleischmann bothered him. [Editor’s note: The Caterpillar Company was established in 1925, but the Holt caterpillars were already used by the Entente forces during World War I.]

In the meantime, in 1911 he had to join the forces for the one-year volunteer service as an officer. He was assigned to a technical formation, to the ‘Kraftfahrtruppe’ [German for ‘motorized unit’], even though there weren’t any caterpillars, those were only introduced during World War I by the British. But he wasn’t only a specialist in caterpillars, he was specialized in motor-cars, too, and he spoke fluent German, which counted very much in the army of the Monarchy, so they entrusted a formation to him.

From 1912 he was at the Caterpillar company again, he had his own office and he got a good salary. When World War I broke out they called him up immediately with the stock of cars and other means of transportation that he had been responsible for, i.e. with the unsold caterpillars and motor-cars he had. The authorities collected the available means of transportation and gave them to the body of troops he belonged to. The Caterpillar company couldn’t do anything, it was wartime. It didn’t matter that the USA wasn’t at war yet. They entrusted to him a supplier mechanized troop. He joined the forces as an officer, but he soon became an ensign, and he demobilized as first lieutenant at the end of the war.

He was at the Italian battlefront 1, too, and his troops mainly dealt with transportation on the battlefront. Since they had to work on a very difficult mountain ground and they were shot at, many got killed. My father was injured several times, and he demobilized at the end of the war with a lot of decorations.

He already played sports before the war. He learned with a fencing master called Lovas, and he became an excellent fencer. He played at smaller competitions, and he dueled several times. Once when we were going somewhere with my father he showed me a man on the street who held his left arm in a funny way. He told me that he had cut it. He learned the elbow cut from Master Lovas. During the war he wanted to remain in training, so he exercised fencing steps and fencing there, too. I have a picture of this, too.

Growing up

My father got married for the first time right after World War I. When the front folded up at Piave, in Italy in 1918, my father managed to escape from being taken as a prisoner. He came home and married my mother, Gabriella Rozsa, immediately. She must have been around 18 years old at that time. She was a beautiful woman. The first child, Peter, was born in 1919, I was born in 1921, and my little sister, Anna, was born in 1923. By that time the marriage had gotten bad, and they divorced. I sometimes heard my father saying that my grandmother always set the heather on fire between him and the young woman. That’s why their marriage might have got ruined.

They pulled through the revolutions, even though my father was called in once to the Hungarian Red Army, too. [Editor’s note: The establishment of the Hungarian Red Army, the armed force of the Soviet Republic was ordered on 22nd March 1919 and it was dissolved on 6th August.] He didn’t want to go, and then two red soldiers with bayonets came for him and took him to Godollo, to the headquarters. There they set him in front of a committee saying that he was a specialist and that he had to serve at technical formations. He backtracked by saying that he couldn’t be there permanently because of the little child, and he asked them to allow his wife and child to be there with him. They gave him their permission, and he got an officer’s room in the Godollo royal castle.

As he told me, he served and did his duty, because he couldn’t do anything else, but he never wore the uniform of the Hungarian Red Army. After the revolutions he got honorable mention from the War Office, from Horthy’s 2 bureau, and he was admitted to the reservist officer force, which was sometimes called in for practice. I remember that he was called in several times. In 1935 he obtained his captaincy from Miklos Horthy. So by the time anti-Semitism broke out he was relieved of all kinds of measures, because he had such prestigious decorations, and had this promotion from Horthy. So he was on the list, which was called Horthy exemption 3 at that time. But this didn’t apply to his children. So regardless of that we had to go in for forced labor.

After they divorced, my mother worked at the factory owned by the family, she did the paperwork. I don’t know whether she continued her education or not. My sister Anna finished the four years of middle school, but as far as I know after that it wasn’t possible for her to study. The family wasn’t that well off anymore because of the restrictions of the anti-Jewish laws 4.

My sister Anna worked at some paper factory, where she glued bags or did some kind of primitive work like this. She was there until in 1944 they started to gather the Jewish women from Budapest, too 5. Then she was deported together with my mother. But maybe it was her luck that they were separated. As far as I know my mother wasn’t appointed to the death march 6, but she was put on a barge, which was going to take them up the Danube. Allegedly this barge sank. I don’t know whether that was on purpose or it was hit. All the women on it perished. [Editor’s note: In literature there is no mention of any sunken barges. The Arrow Cross men drove about 30,000 Jews from Budapest and about 50,000 forced laborers to the western border from 6th November until the end of November, mainly on foot. According to the report of one of the leaders of the International Red Cross some of those deportees who were driven from Budapest to Hegyeshalom were lodged in four barges anchored in Gonyu. Many fell in the icy water of the Danube because of complete exhaustion, and others were pushed into the water by the Arrow Cross men. (Source: Jeno Levai: Zsidosors Magyarorszagon. Budapest, 1948)]

In 1925 my father remarried. The name of his second wife was Stefania Szabo. I don’t know when she was born, because she kept that in secret. As far as I know they met through a newspaper ad. My stepmother was a widow at that time. Stefania Szabo didn’t have any children from her first marriage, and in the second, they didn’t want to have any. Her first husband was an offspring of the Herzl family, if I remember correctly, he was called Fulop Herzl. [Editor’s note: Tivadar Herzl, the famous member of the Herzl family was the founder of Hungarian Zionism.] He got very rich on the stock market, and when the stock market in Budapest failed he committed suicide because of his losses.

When they got married my stepmother still had some assets, she had an apartment house on O Street. Most likely it was her who put an ad in the paper, and that attracted the attention of my father, they got to know each other, and my father saw her wealth. The first story of the house on O Street was my stepmother’s, she rented out the rest. This was a four or five-bedroom apartment with beautiful chandeliers. I remember the chandeliers, because my father took the two of us by the hand to introduce us to our mother-to-be, to see what her opinion was. We had to be very orderly.

We got along with our stepmother very well, we never had any conflicts. She was a provider, she could care for the sick children superbly, and she took good care of us. We called her ‘mother.’ My father cared for us much less, his work called him off, too. I don’t know what kind of education my stepmother had, but she was a housewife throughout. My grandmother lived with us at that time, too, but with the second wife she didn’t set the heather on fire. By the time the second wife arrived my grandmother had probably learned from the previous case. Because when the first marriage fell apart, she saw that partly she had caused it.

At the beginning everything was nice and good. Then worse times came, the world economic crisis 7 started, and the house had to be sold. At that time my father hadn’t gotten another commission from the Caterpillar company, but he worked at an oil trader company as an engineer, for quite a small salary. The contact with the Caterpillar company had stopped during World War I. Then the Americans were mistrustful, and they only returned at the beginning of the 1930s, but only so that they needed a company with capital. This was the Steyr Works from Austria. So my father’s employer was the Austrian Steyr Works. Until that time, in the period between 1918 and 1930, so at the beginning of the second marriage, he had a very small income. And moreover we, the two growing boys were also there; we were sick quite often, and that cost a lot of money.

My father started to deal with Caterpillar from 1930 on behalf of the Steyr Works. He held tractor presentations on large estates and agricultural fares. There is a picture in which he is presenting one of the machines with big capacity, the ‘Twenty,’ at the Budapest Cattle-Show. He always had a big public and he was always brilliant in front of them: he made a small hill, went up on it, turned around. Basically the machine had the same capabilities as a combat car only on a smaller scale. At that time he was doing a lot better financially, too, he could buy a small summer cottage in Rakoscsaba.

They bought the summer cottage in 1933 or in 1934 on hire purchase. A baron family parceled out nice big plots of 320 square feet. The construction of the small house cost 1000 pengoes. There was a bigger room, of about 4 by 4 meters. My father made a bunk- bed for us, two boys, and they slept on a normal bed. In front of the cottage there was a porch with a roof and open on the sides. We could eat there. Behind the house there was a small home-made bathroom, there was only a basin there of course. There wasn’t any water conduit, but a well, from which we pumped the water by hand. It’s interesting that in all of our apartments we had a bidet. Here in Rakoscsaba we also had a mobile one.

My father could afford to buy a car, too, and he could send us to school. That wasn’t a piece of cake at that time either, because tuition had to be paid. My father had a passion for motoring, he bought used cars and he and his mechanics repaired them beautifully. He had some kind of an English car, a strong jeep, he drove that. He used it on weekdays, too, he went to work with it or he went on his work related trips in the country or abroad. This gave some kind of a prestige to someone, and that was a big thing at that time. Perhaps it would have been more reasonable to go abroad by train, but he liked to drive very much. We went to many places with the family, too, but I can’t think of any of these trips right now.

In the meantime there were always some kinds of short marches, time by time there was some festivity, inauguration or things like that. At these occasions my father always put on his officer’s uniform, he pinned on all his decorations, and sometimes he took us along, too. I remember a case like this well. He took us to the inauguration of the Rakoczi statue on Kossuth Square. [Editor’s note: The Rakoczis were a noble family in the Kingdom of Hungary between the 13th century and 18th century. The most famous member of the family was probably Francis II Rákóczi (1676-1735), who was elected prince sovereign of Hungary and as Prince of Transylvania from 1703-1711 was the leader of the Hungarian uprising against the Habsburg during that time.] We stuck a crane feather in our scholar cap, and so we stood next to our father, and he stood there in his dress uniform. He introduced us there to a general for the first time in my life. I don’t know who he was; I only saw that there was a red stripe on both sides of his trousers.

My father had his connections. There is a picture of him talking with Archduke Frigyes [Archduke Frigyes Habsburg (1856–1936): serviceman, marshal, member of the upper house from 1927 until 1936.] But he was in such a relationship with Istvan Bethlen, too. [Count Istvan Bethlen de Bethlen (1874–1946?) was a Hungarian aristocrat and statesman and served as Prime Minister from 1921 to 1931. Bethlen stood out as one of the few voices in Hungary actively opposed to an alliance with Nazi Germany. As it became apparent that Germany was going to lose World War II, Bethlen attempted, unsuccessfully, to negotiate a separate peace with the Allied powers. When Budapest fell to the advancing Soviet troops in April 1945, Bethlen was captured and taken to Moscow, where he was murdered with other Hungarian patriots on or around 5th October 1946.] This was a business contact, because only the bigger farms could buy this expensive machine, but these grand seigneurs valued Miksa Domonkos, even if they knew at all that he was a man of Jewish origin, because his bearing and his behavior was just like any Hungarian army officer’s. 

In the meantime we grew up. We didn’t go to nursery school. The first child community was the school; it was the Szent Istvan Square public elementary school, right next to the Basilica. I have very good memories of that school. The beginning was already very pleasant. In first grade there was a schoolmistress, who was very nice and started us well. In third and fourth grade a schoolmaster took us over, who was also very nice and fair. I had all excellent grades in elementary school; there weren’t any problems with me. I studied easily.

This school was in Lipotvaros, so approximately one third of the class was Jewish. But there weren’t any conflicts between Jewish and Christian children. The education at school was pronouncedly of Catholic spirit. For example, around Christmas the entire class learned the Christmas songs, the Jewish children sang them the same way. Most of the families in Lipotvaros didn’t celebrate Chanukkah, but they put up a Christmas tree. I must add we didn’t. My father didn’t allow that, we didn’t have a Christmas tree.

Anyhow, my father’s principle was that one doesn’t only have to give gifts when there is a holiday, but when he can afford it. If we took fancy of something, let’s say a toy-railway, he bought it. Close to us there was a toy-dealer, Uncle Liebermann’s toy-shop. We always looked at the toys in the display window and asked our parents to buy this or that for us. We got Märklin, too, we had a very nice kit. [Editor’s note: Märklin is a metal construction toy known all around the world, manufactured in Göppingen since the end of the 19th century]. First there was the MATADOR, that was a do-it-yourself wooden toy, and we got the Märklin later. I used this for a long time, until the age of 12-13.

After the four classes of elementary school both of us went to an eight-grade science secondary school 8, to the Kemeny Zsigmond Science Secondary School. My brother, Peter was always one class ahead of me. But only one class, because he was born in November, and he lost a year. He was a very diligent student; he was a much better student than I was. This was a big advantage for me, because I got his used books, and moreover I could get a lot of help. He was an excellent mathematician, and I wasn’t that good at that subject. Though later, owing to my technical studies at the university I learned many things.

Sometime in fourth or fifth grade I got out of hand a little bit, I even had to take a make-up exam in mathematics. Somehow I didn’t get a good start with trigonometry. In my opinion our teacher did well when he said, ‘I will flunk this boy, because he is able to learn. Let him learn it in the vacation.’ In that vacation I did have to study hard to pass the re-take exam. But I passed with no problems.

At the science secondary school there wasn’t any Greek or Latin, the foreign languages were French and German, German from first grade throughout, French from third grade throughout. When we were older, I might have been around 16-17, my father employed a young Swabian boy, so that he would refine our German. From this tutor we mainly learned intonation. It lasted for two or three years, then the world with anti-Jewish laws came, and we couldn’t afford it financially either. But I did learn, I could read literature well, and when I got to Germany on an official trip when I was around 50, I could get by fine. Even now if I turn on a German channel on television, I understand most of it, but I have forgotten a lot. I’m not as good at French, though I was very interested in it and I liked French very much. There are poems which I still know. 

At the science secondary school the Jewish and non-Jewish children were on good terms at the beginning. Even though everyone knew who was Jewish and who wasn’t. They strictly enjoined us to go to the Friday evening worship service, and the Christian children to go to church on Sundays. But around 1938 or maybe a little bit earlier, when this instigation went on, a small group of anti-Semite boys was formed. We didn’t come to blows, at most they found fault with us. By graduation the thing deteriorated. So when we had to go to have our picture taken for the class photograph, I was shocked to see a Hungarian jacket on the sofa at the photographer’s, which the Jewish children weren’t allowed to put on. This was an astounding shock. This happened in 1939, by that time they had already enacted the first anti-Jewish law.

There is a bad photocopy of the graduation class picture, but one can see in it, that the children in the first row are wearing normal jackets, and the others are in Hungarian jacket. There are 12 children in jacket and there are 19 in Hungarian jacket, but there was a Christian child who didn’t want to wear the Hungarian jacket. There was one such Christian child, so in the class of 31 there were 11 of us Jews. They put the Jews in the lower row, and our religion teacher is in this row in the middle. This perfidy first affected me personally at the age of 18. So when our class teacher who had been appointed to Leva, which was reannexed to Hungary together with the Felvidek [Upper Northern Hungary], as a school principal 9, invited the entire class to Leva to a banquet, everyone went happily, but me. I said and made common that I wouldn’t sit at a white table with a company like this where there is such parting. This was my first collision like this.

My father was always very busy. There were a few occasions for him to educate us. But he did consider one thing important: to give us a good start in literature suitable to our age. So when we were small we had to read story-books, later Jules Verne. He felt some kind of aversion to Karl May, and he didn’t let us read his books, but he let us read Jokai 10 early. He brought the Jokai books one after the other. As a matter of fact I got my grounding in literature through Jokai and Mikszath. [Kalman Mikszath (1847-1910) was a great Hungarian novelist and politician. Many of his novels contained social commentary and satire, and towards the end of his life they became increasingly critical of the aristocracy and the burden that he believed it placed on Hungarian society.] About Ady 11, for example, I didn’t hear much at home, but I heard a lot about Janos Arany 12 and Petofi 13, I got these in due time. And this led to the fact that in high school I was very interested in Hungarian literature. 

My father always read, too. There was always some kind of book on his night-stand. And he read very much in German. I don’t remember what. Really strange names come to my mind. I’m sure that he liked Rilke. He had Thomas Mann as well as Hansheinz Eberts, who wrote horror stories. My father had a big library. He only subscribed to Pesti Hirlap [Pest Journal, daily].

We went on a holiday every summer. Before having the summer cottage in Rakoscsaba we went to Pomaz, to Torokbalint, so to the environs of Pest. Somehow we never got to the Balaton or abroad. When we had the summer cottage in Rakoscsaba already, we moved out there before the school vacation started and moved back after school started, so when we were at the science secondary school both my brother and I had commutation ticket.

We didn’t go to the theater with the family, but at high school we could buy a cheap season ticket, and I used to go to the National Theater. I remember one occasion when we went together. Mihaly Erdelyi had a theater at the edge of the City Park where they played light opera. [Erdelyi, Mihaly (1895–1979): actor, actor-manager, light opera composer, he organized an independent company in 1934, and he managed several small theaters]. I think he got a ticket from someone for the light opera ‘Erzsebet.’ I don’t remember them taking us to a recital and we didn’t learn music. This was somehow left out from our life.

My father’s days passed so that he went to work in the morning and came home late. He was at home at weekends, but…it’s interesting, I don’t actually know what he did at weekends.

My father had very few friends, mainly people who survived World War I, officers as well. But they got together mostly at official places, so when there was some kind of a ceremony, some commemoration. These weren’t friends who would get together all the time and play cards. My father didn’t play cards and didn’t drink. He never got together with anyone as a family. My stepmother had old Jewish friends, not many, two or three. Sometimes they visited each other, they went somewhere. For example, I remember, that usually during the summer vacation, which we spent at our small estate in Rakoscsaba, one or the other of her old friends came there for one or two days. One was called Aunt Paula. She was a Jewish woman. But my father didn’t really chime in these women conversations, and he didn’t go out with my mother either.

My father was a tough man, but he never beat me. When we were small it happened that my stepmother spanked us, but otherwise she didn’t. They were exceptionally progressive. Of course we were quite obedient. What also contributed to this was that the Zsigmond Kemeny science secondary school was a very good school. Schools at that time competed with one another. Each of them had their own uniform cap. That meant very much, because they told us already there at school ‘look out, because even if you mess about on the streets, they can see it on you…’ This was just as if we had been marked.

I remember a case when we shot out one of the windows of a house vis-à-vis and we hid the sling-shot behind a cupboard. But the aggrieved party was a detective and he found out where the shot must have come from, and went to my father and told him what his sons had done. ‘My sons don’t do such things,’ my father said. The man left, and years later the sling-shot was found at a housecleaning. Otherwise my father was permissive; he bought us an air-gun already when we were teenagers.

During the years at the science secondary school a group of friends was formed, we visited each other, but one of them attracted attention, Miklos Hajdu. I knew that his father was of Jewish origin, he just got baptized in time. He married a very nice, honest Christian maid in 1916. She was a simple woman, but very nice, honest and kind. Miklos Hajdu and I were really good friends all our lives, until four or five years ago, when he died. I went to their place regularly; I ate lunch there several times, not because I was hungry, but because his mother loved me very much. He also used to come to our place; they treated him as if he were my brother. We were best friends through fire and water.

Besides this there was the circle of friends, but its members changed, they were never as stable as this one was. This friendship never took a break. When I was in the forced labor camp he helped me countless times, either by sending me some kind of a package or in another way. He was a regular soldier, at a lucky place, because he was an anti-aircraft artillerist, which meant that he didn’t have to go to the front, but they were here in Budapest. He didn’t only help me, but the extended circle of friends, too. He saved one of our friends from being deported to the West, because they recognized each other by accident. That poor thing crept about totally ragged and broken, and my friend Hajdu, risking his life took him from the line and to his commandant, telling him that this was his old friend and that he wanted to save him. The commandant permitted him to dress in soldier uniform, they fed him up, fixed him and he was saved.

During the war

When my brother Peter graduated from high school in 1938 the first anti-Jewish law was enforced immediately. As a consequence, however talented he was, university was out of the question. First they wanted to get him some kind of paperwork, but in that world with the anti-Jewish laws one couldn’t get a decent job, and then they devised, not only our parents, but the other Jewish parents, too, that one should learn some kind of industrial trade. He became an apprentice at an electrical company, at the Neumann Company. One year later I got to Baumgartner and Co., where the Co. was the old Neumann’s son, through the Neumann Company. I also went there as an electrician. In these industries they acknowledged the previous studies of these young graduates, and one only had to spend one year as an apprentice.

In 1940 Peter was called up, and then they reassigned him as forced laborer 14. He joined up in 1940 as an officer, but in 1941, if I remember correctly, they took off their uniforms. [Editor’s note: The War Department issued an order in March 1942 according to which the Jewish forced laborers had to wear their own civil clothes, and they had to sew a yellow armband on it. However, at many formations they already took the uniform from the Jews at the end of 1941. The wearing of the yellow armband wasn’t general until the spring of 1942, but depending on the commandant they introduced it at many formations. (Source: R. L. Braham: A nepirtas politikaja. A holokauszt Magyarorszagon, Budapest, Uj Mandatum Publishing House, 2003, p. 31)].

In the summer of 1942 he announced to us that they were being put on trains and taken to the front. They took them directly into the perdition at the Don. I could speak with him for the last time in 1942, before the journey. From the border he sent us a postcard, saying that they were doing well. We never got any more letters from him, only my father got a notification of a couple lines: ‘We inform you that Peter Domonkos, forced laborer, who was born in 1919 in Budapest, mother’s name Gabriella Rozsa, died in January 1943 at Marki [today Ukraine] and was buried on the site.’

It never occurred to my father to convert to Catholicism, on the contrary. During conversations he said countless times, that he wasn’t willing to compromise, just because there was anti-Semitism. If there wasn’t anti-Semitism, then perhaps it would have been considered. That was my opinion, too. He counted the anti-Semitism from the White Terror 15, the numerus clausus 16, the beating of the Jews at university 17.

He told me several times about the battle at the so-called Klub café. There was a very nice old café on Szent Istvan Avenue, very close to the theater. Many people from among the Jews in Lipotvaros and Ujlipotvaros used to go there, my father, too. During the White Terror once he was sitting at the Klub café and a press-gang burst in with black-jacks and sticks and they started to beat the people sitting there, saying that they were only Jews. My father told me this several times. He said that from then on he never went to public places; he never sat with his back to the entrance, only facing the entrance. It was also known that after the numerus clausus there were still some young Jewish people at the universities, and atrocities were regular. They thrust them down the stairs.

When my father got married for the second time, we moved to O Street, to my stepmother’s nice big apartment. I don’t remember this apartment exactly, but that there was everything, and that there were many rooms. My grandmother didn’t come with us. In the meantime the financial situation of the family slowly deteriorated. At the beginning of the 1930s we had to sell that apartment, and they rented another quite nice apartment overlooking the street at the corner of Kazar Street and Paulay Ede Street, on the third floor. There wasn’t a lift there. This was a three-bedroom apartment, and grandmother came here with us. There was a kitchen, a bathroom and a maid’s room in it. There was a maid, too.

From there we moved to a worse apartment, to Hernad Street. This must have been around 1934, because in the meantime the job at the Caterpillar discontinued. It didn’t prosper for a long time, among the bad economical circumstances in Hungary there weren’t buyers for these machines. My father tried everything. I remember that he canvassed with a heater which functioned with kerosene and heated cars. At that time cars didn’t have internal heating. He took those over from some kind of a western company on commission. He canvassed with this, but it didn’t work. So we had to give up luxury things and got among worse and worse living conditions. We didn’t have a car for a long time either.

From Kazar Street we moved to Hernad Street and spent a couple years here. It was a two-bedroom apartment with an alcove, and my grandmother lived in the alcove. The next apartment was on Lovolde Square, a worse one, on the ground floor overlooking the courtyard. The courtyard was shared with a movie theater on Rottenbiller Street, so when they showed the ‘Meseautó’ we listened to it several times a day. [Editor’s note: Director Béla Gaál’s film, which premiered in 1934, the love story of a general manager and a shorthand typist, was the cinema hit of the year]. This was a two-bedroom apartment and there wasn’t a maid, and there wasn’t room for Grandmother either, so she moved to a related family to Sziv Street. She died there. At that time I was already a forced laborer, so I couldn’t go to the funeral.

The maid and my stepmother were usually on good terms. At cooking and I think at shopping, too, my stepmother played the decisive role. The maids usually cleaned, washed, ironed or did tasks related to heating. Almost everywhere there was a stove heated with coal or wood, and to every apartment belonged a tray [in the cellar], and the fuel was in it. But by 1943 we almost ran out of fuel. I remember that my stepmother wrote me that they were cold many times.

At the forced labor camp I regularly got packages and money. Even though they were among very bad conditions, my father didn’t have a secure job, canvassing sometimes paid, and sometimes it didn’t. Besides the car heater there was another thing, a medical heater, which emitted reddish-purplish color, it was made by a company called George Sun. It was difficult for my father to send me the 20 pengoes each month, that was the amount allowed to be sent to forced labor camps.

They were living in such circumstances, when in 1942 my father met an old schoolmate, Sandor Eppler, who was an official of the Jewish community. Eppler discussed with the leaders of the Jewish community to employ this officer Domonkos, who was one of the prominent figures among the old, Jewish officers, ex-servicemen, with a modest salary. Namely the Jewish community had to care for the clothing, the provision with shoes, boots, clothes, underwear etc. of the Jewish forced laborers. The ex-servicemen Jewish officers set up a committee, whose task was to supply officially the Jewish forced laborer companies. The War Department greeted this initiative, because it wasn’t their aim to have those children freeze there. So they employed my father at the Jewish community with a modest salary. He became one of the leaders of this action. He gave up canvassing, because the two things weren’t compatible.

Through my father’s connections at the War Department they found a pensioner officer, Laszlo Ocskay 18, he was a handsome reserve officer, crippled in World War I, he walked with a limp, and he organized a forced laborer company which was officially called Clothes-Collecting Company 19 in 1944. Those who were in this company, got a paper, which allowed them to move around quite freely. This was in June, July and August. This possibility immediately ceased after the Szalasi takeover 20.

The Jewish community provided the company with place in the rooms of the Jewish Museum. It was furnished with bunk beds, so if they came on control from the War Department, they found a regular thing. There were some very decent soldiers, whom officer Ocskay had mustered, so if they needed to go and collect clothes they always went with a military escort. In this company there weren’t young people, but serious, elderly man, whom their good connections helped to go where they were safe.

Of course, in order to be able to provide for a company of 150-200 military supply was needed. Through the bureau the company got regular military supply, but we had to maintain a canteen. Two of our experienced old men managed the kitchen. One of them was Zoltan Strausz, he was a wholesale butcher, and the other one was a catering specialist. The wholesale butchers were the richest people of Budapest, they ran the abattoir. Not the kosher, but the regular abattoir. My friend Zoli Strausz, whom I called Uncle Zoli at that time, told me sometime in August, ‘Come, help us, we need a young man here, too, at least we will teach you how to make a good goulash.’ I learned how to chop onions there.

From 1942 I was in the forced labor camp, and the first thing I did was that I got in touch with my father through letters, telling him what we needed. And we made this regular, so in my company we formed a Care Committee. There was such a thing at other places, too, but ours was so official that we had a stamp made ‘Care Committee 12/3.’ In the beginning I was the president of this. Later on I handed it over to another boy. The point is that we sent an application, which was sealed and signed by the commander, to the Committee of Ex-Servicemen of the Jewish community, and then after a while we got what we had asked for.

The committee raised the money for these supplies from the wealthy Jews. It wasn’t easy. But there were wealthy Jews at that time, too, and later they made this a country-wide organization. The wealthy Jews raised money for all kinds of things anyway, for example for aid for the poor, the unemployed Jewish families, and children. Otherwise the Jewish religion has this great advantage that a Jewish man is not allowed to beg. This directly follows from the regulations of the Holy Scriptures. And it was also from this biblical viewpoint that the poor Jewish children who were forced into forced labor camps had to be aided.

From then on my father was at the Jewish community throughout, only they changed his function time by time. After 19th March 1944 21 they immediately put him into a position where he had to make use of his command of German in the communication with the German authorities, and he could hold his ground especially in economical and technical matters. Namely on 19th March 1944 these hordes came in, and the first thing they did was that they collected all the Jewish fortune they could. But this wasn’t enough, they also raised a demand. For example they wrote that they needed 100 blankets within 24 hours and that General X needed a piano within 24 hours, or that they needed 50 typewriters within 24 hours. It was important for my father to be there, because if an arrogant Nazi leader came in personally and saw that my father spoke German and was a Hungarian lieutenant, he’d behave differently. They didn’t even know that he was Jewish, he wore a lieutenant uniform, and he never wore a yellow star.

He had a serious crew among whom there were mostly people with experience in the economic sphere. Because when the task was, for example, to gather 100 blankets, or beds, these people knew where these were to be found in the warehouse, or where some Jews who had these things were and these things could be confiscated from them; because practically this is what they did. It wasn’t a pleasant situation, because they had to confiscate things for the Germans. But someone had to do it.

I know that Eichmann 22 tried to step up with threats, with aggression time by time. They summoned one or the other leader of the Jewish Council to their place, to Svabhegy, and they threatened them by saying that they would deport them, if they didn’t get this or that. It was before Szalasi 23 that Eichmann wanted to deport the Jews from Budapest, and Horthy stopped him. Eichmann started it, and tried to deport Jews in secret from where he could. He managed to set off a transport, and they noticed it too late. But they hadn’t left the Hungarian border when they went after them and took the transport back to the internment camp.

It happened so that Wallenberg 24 got information from the Jewish Council 25 in Budapest that this and this many Jewish people had been deported from the internment camp. After this, Eichmann summoned three of the Jewish leaders, I don’t remember who, to Svabhegy, they kept them there without food or soup, and while he kept the Jewish leaders in detention, he then deported a couple hundred people 26. Probably my father was also among these three, but I don’t know. One didn’t have to speak about everything, in fact it was best to not know about everything.

Then 15th October came. The Szalasi takeover was on a Sunday and the Jewry in Budapest already knew in the afternoon that there was big trouble, because tanks were going along the streets, and on the radio they had announced that Colonel-general Beregffy should go home immediately. My father managed to enter Sip Street, in a uniform, of course. Besides him nobody, not even Stockler 27, the president or the other members of the Jewish Council could. They didn’t dare to go out on the street.

My father sat there alone by the phone and called Lieutenant-colonel Ferenczy 28. Ferenczy was the highest level leader of Jewish matters in the Hungarian government, he was an insincere man. Earlier he had a key position in the deportation of the Jews from the country. He oversaw the gendarmes, but when Horthy took his measures, and when despite the presence of the Germans the attitude against the Jews eased, Ferenczy felt that he should watch out, and he started to make approaches. He always told the Jewish leaders that they would look out and they wouldn’t let any more people to be deported and they wouldn’t be Eichmann’s servants. But when my father called him after the putsch and told him that he was alone and that they were in very serious trouble, Ferenczy said that the Jews got what they deserved and hung up. My father told this in front of the People’s Court, too.

So he sat there alone on Sip Street and the caretaker, who was a very honest, good Christian man, called him and told him, ‘Sir Captain, a German sergeant is here, please receive him.’ ‘Ok, have him come up.’ A young man went up, he had a submachine gun. ‘Where are the Jewish leaders?’ he asked. ‘See that they come forward.’ My father suddenly took the submachine gun out of his hands and snapped at him, ‘Stand at salute! You are standing in front of a Hungarian Royal Captain. You can only report to me.’ And he threw him out. The caretaker just stood there trembling.

Then in a couple days the situation was stabilized, and the relationship with the Germans was also stabilized somehow. Next to Lieutenant-colonel Ferenczy they appointed a man called Leo Lullay, because Ferenczy didn’t speak German. [Editor’s note: Captain Leo Lullay led the delegation of the gendarmerie at the counsel held in Vienna at the beginning of May 1944, where they finalized the schedule and route of the deportations. After Szalasi’s takeover he was Ferenczy’s helper in the Hungarian aryanizing detachment.] He had been a clerk at the city hall, otherwise he was a reservist officer, I think a first lieutenant. As a matter of fact he didn’t have any other job, but to interpret for the lieutenant colonel of the gendarmerie. He was reactivated and unluckily he got a commission. I say unluckily, because he was a very honest, good man. After the liberation he was caught, of course, and proceedings were taken against him, and he could not be saved.

My father had an office on Sip Street where he worked as the administrator of the Jewish Council. Then, when they decreed the setting up of the ghetto, he was the security officer of the ghetto, too. Because in the ghetto there was a ghetto police made up of Jews. There were many things to do. It was a small country that had to be organized. There were districts, medical offices, and institutional food. They had to organize some kind of administration. They appointed leaders for every block or part, possibly intelligent men, teachers or someone like that, whose task was to draw up a list of names. They had to provide medical care, so that a doctor would get everywhere as fast as possible.

They also had to deal with the deceased. These weren’t handled by my father personally, but he had his men. In the beginning they took the dead to the cemetery, but they had to stop this, because once the Arrow Cross men caught a group together with the rabbi, who were arranging a funeral, and I think they even killed them. From then on the funerals were in the courtyard of the Dohany Street Synagogue 29. And later there were so many dead that the poor things were piled up in a room of the bath on Kazinczy Street. There were funerals on Kaluzal Square, too.

Then the water supply had to be started, which was quite a big problem, because after a while there wasn’t enough water-pressure. They had to find the old wells. Fortunately, in these old houses of the Jewish district the old wells could be reopened at many places. The task of the doctors was to control the purity of the water. These were all, so to speak, the decrees of the local authority.

My father and his men had to come up with the system of decrees related to these issues, and besides that they had to activate a security team, into which they had to recruit, as far as possible, men that weren’t too old. As far as I remember, they wanted to equip them with batons, but it didn’t work out. But by the end of the ghetto times they managed to move in an armed group from the 7th district police to the basement of the Sip Street hall, which provided certain protection. [Editor’s note: This happened because the Arrow Cross men broke into the ghetto and committed massacres several times. Then on 12th January 1945 they sent 100 policemen and a unit of 15 Arrow Cross men.]

As a matter of fact my father was like a mayor. The Jewish Council could be compared to the general assembly, which takes decisions, which the secretary general, who can be compared to the mayor, enforces. My father was an engineer, and he was knowledgeable about public health, administration and security issues, so they could safely rely on him. Housing wasn’t in his hands, a lawyer, Dr. Kurzweil, was in charge of this. [Editor’s note: Dr. Istvan Kurzweil was only the administrator of the housing department of the Central Jewish Council.] A jurist was needed to administer justice among the people, to work out how to accommodate 20 people in an old two-bedroom apartment. There were often complaints, especially in these kinds of issues. The task of the housing department was extremely difficult; they had to manage the house-rooms in the yellow star houses 30. And their situation became even more difficult in the ghetto.

My father’s office – because he had a hall and a secretary – was assaulted by the complainers and those who requested help. There were some who asked help for finding their siblings or similar things. Or: With Captain Ocskay’s help they managed to accommodate almost 3000 people in the Jewish high school, outside the ghetto. Once the Arrow Cross men tried to go in, but Captain Ocskay was in contact with the German officers and told them, and the Germans drove away the Arrow Cross men. It was such a strange world.

Actually the ghetto was only set up by December, because they had agglomerated the people there, but we kept putting off the closing of the ghetto, the building of the planking and gates. At the main entrance of the ghetto, this was on Wesselenyi Street, there always sat an Arrow Cross man with a submachine-gun, whose main task was to not let anyone escape. And if someone came from the outside, he had to check that person.

In his officer’s uniform my father could move about freely, he never put on the yellow star. A captain of the Hungarian royal army could go wherever he wanted. The authorities or Arrow Cross men, who came from the outside, didn’t even know who he was. Otherwise many other people came to the ghetto, too, for example Friar Kohler came regularly, and he tried to help. The Arrow Cross men couldn’t interfere. [Editor’s note: Lazarist monk Ferenc Kohler followed the death march to Hegyeshalom many times with the safe-conducts of the papal nunciature to save people from the group.]

The next story is connected to this Arrow Cross bastard. In January, when the Soviet Army had already encircled Budapest, the leaders of the Arrow Cross Party from Pest escaped to Buda before the bridges were blown up. One morning we went into the ghetto. We arrived at the gate, and the Arrow Cross man was sitting there and greeted us. ‘Your most obedient servant, Captain.’ ‘So what’s up, my son?’ ‘Well, Captain, I would like to humbly report to you that there is a very big problem. Imagine, last night the entire district leadership escaped to Buda.’ ‘At least they are safe,’ my father replied. ‘But this is not the only problem,’ said the Arrow Cross man. ‘Look, here is my submachine gun, but they didn’t give me any cartridges.’ ‘It’s okay my son, we’ll look after you.’

In the meantime, we saved my sister, too. When they put my mother on the barge, which sank, they assigned my sister to a death march, and sent them off to the West. This was already at the beginning of the cruelest Szalasi regime. Somehow my father managed to find out that the death march stopped in Borgondpuszta for a while. [Borgondpuszta is on the outskirts of Szekesfehervar.] My father had a couple of skillful men, and one of them, he was also a Jew, had very good contacts with the police from before. This young man was called Ronai. [Editor’s note: Zoltan Ronai was active as a ’police communicant.’ His firm and confident behavior (he wasn’t willing to wear his yellow star either) made the police officers and Arrow Cross clerks believe that he was their man. (Source: Braham. A magyar holokauszt, volume II., page 203.).] My father entrusted him with going to Borgond as a detective and arrest her. He went there and brought her out.

My sister was in an awful shape, famished and lethargic. Ronai took her into the ghetto. What could we do with her? My father and I took her in the middle, I was also wearing a military uniform as a simple soldier, and we walked out the ghetto with her. We had an apartment on Katona Jozsef Street, which we had got from the Swedish embassy, and we took her there. We handed her over to my stepmother, who fed her with bean soup. My stepmother wasn’t in the ghetto; she was in the protected house 31.

My father was on good terms with Wallenberg, so the entire family got a Schutzpass 32. The Schutzpass was a document with a photograph, issued in our name, with the following text:

‘The Swedish Royal Embassy from Budapest certifies that the afore-named is going to travel to Sweden with the approval of the Swedish Royal State Department. Until his departure the apartment of the afore-named is under the protection of the Swedish Royal Embassy. It will expire on the 14th day after his arrival in Sweden. Budapest, 26th September 1944.’

My father never mentioned his relationship with Wallenberg; I only know that in Wallenberg’s short directory, which the Russians gave back a couple years ago, and a copy of which I got from Maria Ember, Miksa Domonkos’s phone number is mentioned. I know this much, but nobody ever said anything about this. Wallenberg handled his affairs quite discreetly. He bought many houses in Ujlipotvaros. He bought warehouses. He had a lot of money on him, and this was his task.

In one of the houses on Katona Jozsef Street, which was under the protection of the Swedish Embassy, there was a sign on the entrance; my father got an apartment, too. This was before the Arrow Cross times. Immediately next to it and above it lived the leaders of the Jewish Council. This meant that they didn’t have to go to a yellow star house. As far as I remember, this was a regular two-bedroom apartment where only my father, my stepmother, and later my sister Anna and I lived. We even managed to take furniture there from the old apartment on Lovolde Square. We had special alimentation, too. The Stocklers had Swedish connections that brought good quality food from the cannery. I explicitly remember when a man gave us big tin cans.

I have to mention Pal Szalai here, who was the communications officer between the Arrow Cross Party and the Budapest Police Department. He was originally a bookseller by profession, he was an intelligent young man, who got crazy sometime in the 1930s and joined the Arrow Cross Party. As a consequence of this when Szalasi was imprisoned he also got caught and was sent to prison in Szeged.

The point is that after getting out of prison this Szalai didn’t go back to the Szalasi party, he was smart enough to be through with it. But Szalasi and his party didn’t know that in the meantime his mentality had changed, so after 15th October they summoned him and told him that he was going to be the communicant between the Arrow Cross party and the Budapest Police Department. Because of this he entered into relations ‘ex officio’ with the Jewish Council, with my father, and told him openly that he was going to use his communicant position to help.

For example it frequently happened that an Arrow Cross company attacked a house. They informed Pal Szalai, and he arranged with his friends at the police to send a police van, and the Hungarian policemen drove away the Arrow Cross men who worked there absolutely illegally. They usually operated illegally, those for example, who pushed the Jews into the Danube 33. They didn’t do it based on some kind of a sentence, but only for amusement. So Szalai helped a lot.

Post-war

After the war they tried to take proceedings against him twice, but he could be defended. There were documents which proved that he had helped, and the People’s Court didn’t condemn him. [Editor’s note: Pal Szalai ordered the assignment of 100 policemen to the ghetto, and he undertook to control them; as a matter of fact he was the one who interfered so that the Germans and Arrow Cross units wouldn’t annihilate the inhabitants of the ghetto two days before the liberation of the ghetto.]

My father mainly had to keep in touch with officials who dealt with provisioning from the mayor’s office and military leaders. There were two field-officers at the War Department, one of them was a colonel, and it could be arranged with them that the Jews were turned into a unit to deal with the defense of Budapest, and the digging of entrenchments. They took the women, too. This was very important, because they worked under Hungarian military supervision, so basically they were safe. My father could discuss things with these field-officers, and they were very nice.

In January 1945 we were running out of food, and once my father told me, ‘Come, we are going to go over to the city hall, where one of the counselors can apportion some oil and some food, beans, flour etc. to us.’ We went over to the city hall, which was already in a very ruinous state. Next to it the Adria Palace was ablaze. We got in the city hall, which has a two-story cellar. There was the German headquarters, the Hungarian headquarters, there were the offices of the mayor’s office, and there was the counselor, who gave my father a paper: he apportioned this and that from the stocks of the Kobanya Brewery to us.

I couldn’t go in to join the talk, but I patiently waited in the hallway of the cellar. When my father came out, three men were coming from the opposite direction, two armed Arrow Cross men with armband, and between them first lieutenant Leo Lullay, bereft of all his insignia. My father stopped them, ‘Stop, please! I must speak with this man.’ The two soldiers stood aside, and the two captains spoke with each other. Lullay told him, that the Arrow Cross men had noticed that he tried to get away from the Ferenczy matters, they caught him and degraded him. He didn’t know what was going to happen with him, and asked my father to inform his wife, if we survived. Later he escaped during a bombing, he survived the war, was taken prisoner of war, the Russians took him, and when he returned from there he was unjustly tried and imprisoned. He died in the prison.

After the liberation my father remained at the Jewish community and he became the secretary general of the Jewish community. The general assembly elected him correctly. Jewish life started to revive, the provision and aid of the people who returned from the deportation had to be organized, they had to keep in touch with Joint 34, the Hungarian Red Cross, and the National Committee for the Treatment of Hungarian Jewish Deportees 35. These were all important organizational tasks. Besides these there were representative functions, where he had to be present. So he was the secretary general and above him was the president, Lajos Stockler. They were already on good terms in the ghetto. Stockler also got an apartment from Wallenberg in the same Swedish protected house on Katona Jozsef Street.

I was against my father’s involvement in Jewish life after 1945. Partly because in denominational life there was always envy and conflicts, and when the war ended my father was lauded by the officials, but some from the religious side didn’t like the fact that a Hungarian officer was leading them. They brought up against my father – from their viewpoint with good reason – that he didn’t go to the synagogue and that our entire life was Hungarian civil life, we children were expressly brought up in a nationalist way. They didn’t like this at all. And they were right.

In fact he got in the Jewish community by accident. During the war he was needed, because since he had a rank and an officer’s demeanor he could help very much in the ghetto, but he didn’t behave like a Jew at all. Really, he never went to the synagogue, not even on the High Holidays, we didn’t observe the kashrut, neither Chanukkah, nor seder, or anything. My stepmother was religious in her own way, she always lit the two candles on Friday evening, but she didn’t go to the synagogue either, not even on the High Holidays, and she didn’t have a kosher kitchen, because my father was absolutely against it. But I don’t remember seeing a mezuzah in her apartment on O Street either.

I also objected to my father’s involvement because in a Palestinian Hungarian newspaper they attacked my father, saying that he had shown favor towards the persons close to him, and, as they said, the Jewish aristocracy. But even the president, Lajos Stockler, was a big business man [lace-maker]. Then they also brought up that the Jewish leaders must have known about Auschwitz, and that they didn’t act on time, to save at least the Jews from the countryside from going there like cattle to the abattoir. This isn’t true of course, since nobody could know in advance about the appearance of Eichmann’s crew and about the actions of the authorities, because they deported the Jewry from the countryside so quickly, that it was astonishing in Europe. Even Westerners were surprised that this could be done in such a manner in Hungary.

In 1947 my father was decorated. It can be read in the 183rd issue of the Magyar Kozlony [Hungarian Bulletin] published on 13th August 1947:

On the recommendation of the premier, I award Lajos Stockler, the president of the National Bureau of Hungarian Israelites, and Miksa Domonkos, the managing director thereof, the silver grade of the Hungarian Freedom Order for their work in saving the Budapest Ghetto.
Date: Budapest, 5 August 1947
Zoltán Tildy       Lajos Dinnyés

In 1950 my father retired. He got a nice dismissal wage, he bought this house in Rakospalota from that. This is a three-bedroom apartment with a hall, a big kitchen, a big pantry, and two bathrooms. There is an attic story, too, there is a bathroom there, too, and a small room. The house has 90 square meters; the plot is 100 square feet.

From then on he held off from public life. He did gardening. Despite of this on 7th April 1953, so after Stalin’s death, the AVO 36 caught him. They kept him in for more than half a year, and on 13th November 1953 they took him to the Istvan Hospital. When they took him, he was a well-built man, weighing some 100 kilograms, and they took him to the hospital a wreck of 45 kilograms. They took him to the hospital during the night, and they didn’t want to tell them who it was. When the physician in attendance told them that he would not take him over, they phoned their headquarters, and finally they told him his name. But they interdicted them to notify the family, and they called us on the next morning from the AVO.

My father was unconscious for days. He was in the hospital for two months, and then he could walk again. Later he told us, that they had taken him to the prison on Fo Street, stripped him to the skin and he had to make a confession. He lay on a concrete bed, they flashed reflectors in his face day and night, took blood from him after each interrogation, to weaken his resistance. He got to the hospital so that his erythro count was 800,000. With transfusion they raised it to 1.5 million in six days, and according to his final report when he came out it was 3.490.000. He died soon after he came out of hospital, on 25th February 1954. 

Then I tried to find out what had happened and why. When I asked the answer was, ‘You will never find out what happened here.’ But I did find out by accident.

Pal Szalai was taken to the AVO in the summer of 1952 from in front of his house. With all kinds of tortures they made him confess that he had seen that the Jewish leaders, Miksa Domonkos among them, killed Raul Wallenberg for his money. When they had this confession they arrested the Jewish leaders, Stockler, too, who came out just as miserable. This happened after Stalin’s death, so it didn’t have to do anything with the Zionist matters which had been stopped in the meantime. It turned out that this wasn’t a Hungarian initiative, but a Russian crew was controlling the entire action. They could not account for Wallenberg towards the West, and they devised to blame it on the Jews.

Then they gave it up after all. Poor Szalai was also released. They threatened him saying that if he would ever tell anyone, anywhere, anything about what had happened, they would find him. To be sure, he immigrated to South America in 1956 and changed his name. He dared to come home after the change of the regime, and he told me the story at that time. Then I introduced him to Maria Ember, and he told it to her, too, and it was published. [Editor’s note: Maria Ember (1931-2001): Hungarian writer, journalist and editor. In her most famous book, the documentary novel entitled ‘Hairpin bend’ she describes the fate of Hungarian Jewry in 1944 through her own experiences but in an objective way.]

Back to my life…So in 1939 I got to the Baumgartners as an electrician apprentice. It was a one-year apprenticeship, because the high school graduation made this possible. But I worked independently quite a lot even in the first year, because I learned the profession very fast. I mainly had to learn the professional tricks: how to carve a wall to the wall-tube, how to position the boxes, how to plaster, how to make a chandelier work with two circuits, how to wire a subalternate switch. At that time there were several kinds of bells in a better house, a door bell, and a bell for the maid. When I had served this one year, there was an end of the apprenticeship exam in front of a committee. I passed this exam with excellent result, and in October 1940 I got my assistant certificate. The master’s examination in 1946 was a little bit more difficult; I had to take it in front of the leaders of the trade-corporation.

I remained at Baumgartner’s as an electrician for quite a while. As far as I remember, when I started to work as an assistant my salary was 20 pengoes a week. Before that, as an apprentice I earned 10 pengoes a week. But the salary was supplemented nicely with tips. When I worked at houses there I regularly got tips from the milords and miladies. I worked there until 1941, because Baumgartner couldn’t give me any work in the winter. In winter the entire building trade is on hold a bit. He told me to try to find some other job.

I found a Christian company called Galambos, I worked there until October 1942. I got along very well with Galambos, too. That was a different world, because I had to work in Buda and its environs. He could give me work during the winter, too, probably because he had better connections. There were a couple buildings in course of construction, some villas in the Buda Mountains, which I remember because at that time I rode a bicycle. All the wires were hung on the side, and at the back there were the tools. Up on Budakeszi Street I pushed the bicycle, and on the way back I didn’t even need to pedal, I just flew along. At that time there weren’t many cars, and there weren’t any buses at all.

Besides there were smaller or bigger jobs close to the workshop, too. If there is an electrician nearby, people usually call him if the lamp doesn’t work, if the fuse melts or if the iron breaks down. Galambos also had a small workshop where these small reparations could be done.  

I gave my income to my parents, and if I needed money for something, my mother gave me some. I also had pocket money when I was at the science secondary school, I don’t remember how much, but I went to the movies and bought sweets for it.

War memories

Then, in October 1942 I had to go in for forced labor. First they took me to Bereck [today Romania], it is in Transylvania 37, in Haromszek county, near Sepsiszentgyorgy [today Romania] and Kezdivasarhely [today Romania], close to the Ojtoz defile [today Romania]. They were waiting at the Ojtoz defile for the country to be attacked by the Romanians. Things like this always happened at the defiles. We had to fortify there. We had to dig and cut wood. Besides digging there were finer jobs, too, for example the completion of a machine-gun emplacement, which meant that one had to dig a round hole, so that on one side of it, which looked in the direction of the enemy there was a tongue-like part, on which the machine-gun could be hung, and next to it, to the right and left the helpers could stand. One gave the ammunition, the other one took it, and the one in the middle shot.
When I joined up they gave us neither equipment nor clothes anymore, one had to go with his own equipment and clothes. They only gave us a cap. We were especially short on shoes. Very many poor children joined up in simple shoes. I joined up with good equipment. My father and my brother gave me advice. My brother had been there since 1940. We had to bring two blankets, a backpack, a foot-locker, boots, and at least one change of warm underwear. It couldn’t be seen from the outside that those boots were of a very bad quality and because of over-use they broke very soon. Then my father got hold of a pair of ski boots, which were used but were in a very good shape. They had a thick, strong sole, and that lasted throughout.

This Bereck was only our station, we went from here to the places in Haromszek County where an attack of the enemy was expected, so where trenches had to be dug or machine-gun emplacements had to be built. We left Bereck quite soon and moved to Kilyen [today Romania], next to Sepsiszentgyorgy. We stayed there for a long time. Here was the so-called infantry basic training. Right turn, left turn, instead of rifle exercise we did shovel exercise: shovel on the shoulders, salutation with shovel. Besides this there were physical condition exercises: creeping, duck walk, running up the hill etc. I endured all this very well.

I never did any sports, once I tried ice-skating, but I fell and said that I wasn’t going to do this. I must have been around ten when they took me to the bathing attendant at the pools in Rakoscsaba. He dangled me into the water on a pole, I learned quickly. I learned to ride a bike when I was at high school; there was a bicycle rental close to us. I didn’t own a bicycle. Anyway, I got used to physical labor, while working as an electrician I had to climb ladders very much and carve, and that made me strong, too. Otherwise I was good at physical education at high school.

Besides the basic training we still had to dig and cut wood, and the norm was quite demanding. It wasn’t a simple ditching, but we had to dig quite big and deep trenches, into which the supposed enemy tank would fall and not be able to come out. It was a difficult job, because we had to throw the earth upwards from within. Luckily there weren’t many roots or stones where I worked. Food was still quite good and quite generous at that time. We got meat, too.

From Kilyen we had to go to the post office in Sepsiszentgyorgy. Originally a buck sergeant went to the post office to pick up the letters and packages. And there was a farmer with a carriage who helped with the packages. The captaincy wasn’t really satisfied with the buck sergeant’s intelligence, and they wanted someone to go with him, who could read what had to be read and could count the remittance. I became this attendant. This is how the thing started up, but after a while the captain realized that I didn’t need any attendant. So he issued me a clearance pass for these places.

This was a very good deal, because among the Jewish families in Sepsiszentgyorgy I found myself a suitable place. There were even one or two girls I could court. Then they were deported, too. This job was also important for me, because there was a typewriter there, and I liked to type my letters. I had learned to typewrite at home, we always had a typewriter at home.

In the summer of 1943 they took us from Haromszek County to the environs of Voloc [today Ukraine] by train. Voloc is a bigger town in Carpatho-Rus, they took us off the trains there, and our abiding place was in Podoboc [today Ukraine], which is a couple kilometers away from there in the mountains. This was an isolated, small, scabby village, which was inhabited by Ruthenians and Jews, all lived in terrible poverty and filth. It was very difficult to find a quarter that wasn’t full with lice. The old Jews had made a mikvah in Podoboc, but we found it in such a bad shape, even the stove-pipe was missing. And the cleanliness… Allegedly there had been a doctor there, who examined it, and said that it wasn’t healthy and that is shouldn’t be used. But some used it. I never went into that dishwater, but as soon as snow fell, I could have a wash with snow.

The ground was really bad in Podoboc, and as a result of the hard work the axes and the hackers became jagged. Then I came up with the idea that these tools should be repaired time by time. There weren’t any new tools, we couldn’t throw them away. A couple kilometers away from Podoboc there was another small village, Pilipec. Ruthenians and Jews lived there, too. They liked my idea, and the captaincy sent a sergeant over there to take a look at the place, because they had heard that there was a Ruthenian smith there. And really the smith had quite a nice little workshop. They agreed that the treasury would pay something to this smith, who could barely speak any Hungarian. They allowed us to go there.

I had a comrade, a real Jewish peasant, his name was Andor Polak Klein, who couldn’t write or read, which is very rare among Jews. He was a stoutly built, strong man. He became my helper. We collected the broken tools every week, as many as we could hold, walked over to Pilipec, and went to the master who showed us how to repair the tools. He gave us the proper equipment for that, and showed us how to handle the bellows. And what is the most important: we could warm up next to the fire. That winter of 1943-1944 was very harsh. Many froze or got chilblain, and there were many accidents during the work. But thanks to this smith job we were warm twice a week. The smith brought bacon; he took out the flat lever-grip, heated it up, put the bacon in it and pressed the fat on bread for us.

In 1943 my father was notified that his son Peter had died. At the morning briefing the company commander, Dezso Vertan, told me to step forward and told the others, that Istvan Domonkos’s brother had died a heroic death, even though the official notification avoided the word heroic in case of Jews. From then on, after Peter’s death, I kept begging my father to do something, because we knew that the front was going to reach us sooner or later. He wrote an official plea, which didn’t really have any result.

My father had connections at the War Department and in April 1944 the order came that I was reassigned to Budapest, to the Hungarian Royal Military Railway and Bridgework Depot, which was on Timot Street. Timot Street was right next to the arsenal, and not far off was the oil-refinery. So that my reassignment wouldn’t be conspicuous they reassigned five persons, saying that they all had some kind of trade. There were other forced laborers there besides us as well. It was known that Timot Street was a good deal, because it was in Budapest. 

Our first job was to clean the sewer of that huge territory. There was quite a strict military order, we couldn’t really move around, and they didn’t like us very much either. The thing is, that in the first days of April, perhaps on the 5th was the first big air-attack on Budapest. [Editor’s note: The first (British) air-raid hit Budapest on 3rd April 1944. From then on the air-raids became regular.] Besides the attack was especially on the arsenal and the oil-refinery nearby. When we arrived there we saw already on the first day, that the Jewish forced laborers were making ditches, but not the kind we had made in Transylvania, but saps. These were so deep that they could be covered with sleepers, pieces of rail, with all kinds of things which were at hand.

The order was that in case of an air-attack Jews should hide wherever they could. The real air-raid shelters could only be used by the soldiers and the officers. There was a huge hall, in which a sawing-machine functioned, and the best shelter for soldiers was under its concrete base. A couple days passed and other air-attacks came, and we squat in that lousy trench and we survived. But almost all the officers and the soldiers died at the big shelter, because the sawing-machine was hit and it fell on them.

The situation got worse and worse, there weren’t any conduits, there weren’t any sewers anymore. Then they allowed those who were from Budapest to go home to take a bath. After a while they realized that this was such an important target, that the situation was unmaintainable. The army occupied a textile mill in Budakalasz, this might have been in May, and we had to take all the equipment that remained from the military plant there. There were turning-mills, drills among these.

In Budakalasz we had to build a new factory. We had to make a huge wire system, make a base for the machine-tools, so it was like starting up a new factory. This factory repaired and made bridge pieces, and moreover it had to repair train cars, too. We had to work very hard, and once the liberators appeared. They knew very well that the new factory, which was very close to the Danube, was there, and they started to bomb it. There wasn’t any shelter, everyone hid wherever he could. I discovered a monitor on the river bank, and I always hid in that. I even hid my food supply there. At that time the alimentation was very bad, and my friend Miklos Hajdu smuggled in sausage and bacon for me.

Then the revered captaincy realized that the factory couldn’t operate in Budakalasz either. Then on a nice day they pushed in a train on the side-track and the orders came that we were going to start to load the equipment on the next day. To go where? To the West. I said that I wouldn’t do it, and some agreed and we left. I went home to Lovolde Square.

They established that certain clothes-collecting company at that time. There were only a few young forced laborers in it beside me, the majority were elderly, wealthy civil Jews from Pest. I got to the kitchen, but I did many things. I was young, so I was the one they always asked to run here and there, do this and that. I didn’t really take part in collecting clothes; I mainly did jobs for which I needed to use outside connections.

Since I had a uniform, I could move around safely. The uniform was my poor brother’s, because when he left with the 2nd Hungarian army in 1942 he had to go in civilian clothes. He left a worn military uniform at home and I put that on and I wore it until the end. Under the cloak I wore a drabbet summer uniform, it was quite worn out. The cloak was also quite shabby, which was good because the Arrow Cross men didn’t check soldiers like this, they weren’t interested. They thought the ones like this were probably coming from the front. They were more interested in those who were dressed well.

So I was never checked by any Arrow Cross men. And that was good, because I didn’t have the appropriate paper. The Swedish and Swiss safe conduct didn’t go with the worn uniform. I had an old mercenary book, which I had got as a forced laborer, but there was a ZS on it. [Editor’s note: On the mercenary book they wrote a ZS (The Hungarian term for a Jew is zsido, hence the letters ZS) with big red capitals, so that they would know at once who the person was.] If anyone had looked at it carefully, I could have been caught.

I met my future wife, Katalin Schwartz here. She was from Miskolc and she ran away from the ghetto in Miskolc with young Zionists. She went through many things, she ran away several times. For the last time she hid at the Technological University with Zionist kids. It was in the summer, it might have been July or August. There was a very nice assistant and he made room for them in the attic. There weren’t many of them, there were five to ten young people, and they hid there. But the darkness, the deprivation, and the fact of being locked up was very nerve-wrecking, and she ran away from there.

At that time she still had some fake papers; she got hold of a room and lived there under the name of Maria Toth. The police was looking for a child kidnapper with the same name. She was registered, and the policemen thought that it was her. Luckily she wasn’t at home when the detectives went there, and her resettler, who suspected who she was, waited for her at the entrance and warned her that the cops were there. So she cleared off from there only with the clothes she had on her. An elderly cook, Uncle Zoli Strausz, saw her browsing about, took her in and gave her room in a closet. Since there weren’t other young people there, it was my task to take care of her a little bit.

It also occurred that they summoned me to the offices on Sip Street to keep order. Sometimes very many petitioners and complainers appeared. For example people went there to complain that the Arrow Cross men had broken into their apartment. They already played the wild at that time. They caught someone, they hurt or robbed someone. Such things happened. But there were also many housing problems because they had agglomerated the Jews into yellow star houses. My main task was to stand in the hall and let people in gradually. At another time I had to escort a young woman with a baby to the Red Cross station on Amerika Street 38. We went by streetcar, and we had to be very careful so that the baby wouldn’t cry, because it didn’t wear a yellow star either. And I escorted them as a soldier.

This clothes-collecting company functioned until the Szalasi putsch. At that time I already had the Wallenberg Schutzpass and I lived in the apartment on Katona Jozsef Street. We managed to lodge Katalin [the interviewee’s wife-to-be] at the Jewish high school on Abonyi Street. Then we lost touch with each other.

Right on the day after the putsch they enacted many orders. A ghetto had to be built. They agglomerated there the people from the yellow star houses, too. The alimentation of the ghetto had to be organized. We had to protect ourselves from possible robberies, and the affray of the Arrow Cross men. We had to keep in touch with the authorities. We went in and out the ghetto freely during the Arrow Cross times, too, and we lived on Katona Jozsef Street. I never slept in the ghetto.

I mainly did physical labor, I had to pick up sacks, take them into the warehouse, take them home. The heaviest bag of flour weighed around 80 kilos, which I could carry at that time. But it also happened that I accompanied my father to meetings at the city hall, or I got a special task. For example: This young Jewish man came; he was desperate, saying that the caretaker kept threatening his mother and father to give them away to the Arrow Cross men. This was already after the Szalasi putsch, but the ghetto wasn’t established yet. These two old people had to be taken from there, because they didn’t dare to set off on their own. I went there by bicycle. I was wearing a uniform. I went in to the caretaker: ‘Long live Szalasi! I have orders from the army corps headquarters to arrest these two people. Please bring them downstairs.’ He brought them down and I took them to another yellow star house. Of course they didn’t know anything about all this. They came down trembling, and not until we got out on the street could I tell them that their son had told me about them. They kept trembling until then.

There was another case. I had to take a letter to Jozsef Cavallier and bring an answer from him. Jozsef Cavallier was a Christian journalist, whom the primate had appointed as the secular leader of the Hungarian Holy Cross Association. The main task of the association was the protection of baptized Jewish people. Their office was on Muzeum Street and I went there unseeingly. I went in and the janitress greeted me saying: ‘Oh, oh, Sir, it’s very good that you didn’t come earlier. The Arrow Cross men were here an hour ago and they shot the president.’ ‘Did he die?’ ‘Fortunately not, luckily the ambulance saved him and took him home.’

His apartment was in Buda, I went there and rang the doorbell. They were scared to death when they saw someone wearing a uniform again. His wife took me inside, Cavallier lay in bed, I don’t remember where he was wounded, where he was bandaged, but he could speak. I gave him the letter, and as far as I remember he told me that there was no need for a reply and that I only had to tell them that he was doing better and that there wouldn’t be any problem. But afterwards, before letting me go he made a little speech: ‘Good job, my son, an honest, kind, Hungarian Christian soldier has to behave the way you do.’ He asked me where I served. I told him that I served in a Jewish forced laborer battalion, because I was familiar with that.

There was a terrible incident when the Arrow Cross men herded the people gathered from the yellow star houses into the big synagogue on Dohany Street. They kept several hundred people there without food or soup. We couldn’t go in to see them. Practically I was the only one who could communicate with them, but I didn’t go in there as a soldier, or as a Jew, but as an employee of the Electric Works. I went to the switchboard, I fussed about, and in the meantime I could talk with the people, I calmed them and told them that it was going to be over soon. It came to an end so that on the second day a group of ten to fifteen Arrow Cross men came in. They put up a big table in front of the altar, and the Jews had to pass by the table all in row and leave all their money and property there. 

Then one day at dawn the guard at the entrance of the house on Katona Jozsef Street, because we always had a guard, reported that the Russians were coming. They came house by house. We hid the military uniforms and a man who had learned some Russian in World War I and in captivity met them and greeted them with great joy. The first thing the Russians did was to take his gold watch. Then they looked all over the house, they were looking for Germans and weapons. They didn’t hurt any of us. They took what they could, they especially liked watches. This was our liberation.  

My wife-to-be went to the ghetto after the liberation, at that time everyone was looking for someone, and in the commotion of the ghetto she reunited with her father. Her father survived the forced labor, her mother and siblings were deported to Auschwitz and died.

Two days after the liberation, my father and I went into the ghetto. We saw that awful chaos. My task was to protect a food storehouse, because they had broken into a storehouse where oil was kept. They started to scoop out the oil with bowls, and in the end in the big tumult all the oil wasted away. And then they sent me to guard another storehouse. I was in civilian clothes then of course, because the Russians would have caught me in uniform. They deported all the young men. They caught me twice, but I ran away both times 39.

At that time the Jewish community still supported the alimentation system of the ghetto. I had to help with carrying the food apportioned from the Red Cross or other places. We had a man with a carriage with a garron, which suddenly fell and died. I found a four-wheeler handbarrow somewhere in the snow. I simply took it and I could carry food with that handbarrow. Several times we had to take bags of beans or peas from the food distribution center, which was at the outer tracks of the Nyugati railway station. Two or three people came with me. With my handbarrow I could take on smaller transports, too, for which I mainly got food in exchange. I didn’t go back to my parent’s apartment, who lived on Katona Jozsef Street for a while with Anna, then they went back to the apartment on Lovolde Square.

Married life

In the ghetto I met Katalin and her father. With the marriage we had to wait for me to attain my majority, that was the age of 24 at that time, and my parents weren’t happy at all about me wanting to get married, because they wanted me to continue my studies. At that time I still had university ahead of me. I couldn’t go to university before, because of the anti-Jewish laws, I was a simple electrician, and my father thought, of course, that I would go and study right after the war. He simply told me that he didn’t agree with this marriage, and as long as he was the head of the family, he wouldn’t give his consent.

We didn’t quarrel, we had already been living separately; we lived in rented rooms. After August 1945 we got married, we did it then because I turned 24 in August. We went to the local board, we addressed two servants or deliverers in the hallway and asked them to be our witnesses, and that was the marriage procedure. There wasn’t any celebration; there were no relatives, nothing.

My wife’s name is Katalin Schwartz. She was born in 1925 in Miskolc. She was in Palestine as a child with her parents sometime in the 1930s. They were there for a couple years, but her mother was in a very bad health and the circumstances were adverse. They lived in a kibbutz where her father did earthwork. He was a qualified locksmith, but that wasn’t needed there. After a couple years they came home at the doctor’s advice who said that it would be better for the mother to go back to her former environment. My wife’s mother is a Groszman girl and that family had an ironworks in Miskolc. Her father worked there. They were poor. My wife finished four classes of middle school, after that she learned the seamstress trade. She started to work in Miskolc at a quite young age.

In 1947 the first child, our daughter Judit, was born. Then we had to work hard to get a normal apartment as soon as possible. I got hold of an apartment, because I met an elderly house owner on Gyarmat Street, who had a small storied villa, which had been destroyed by the war. I made a deal with her that I would contribute to the reparation. I helped the way I could, with my own hands, too. And as far as I remember I had 1000 pengoes, too, since I had a job. We could only move in in 1948. This was a rental, a small one-bedroom apartment with a hall, a bathroom and a kitchen. It had one disadvantage: it was half-basement. If one looked out the window the ground was right there. Regardless of this it wasn’t unhealthy, it had normal windows and there was a good tile stove in it. I remember that I carried home the fuel in 50 kilogram bags on my back many times.

We lived plainly, but we had everything we needed. My wife helped in our financial life very skillfully. She was a trained seamstress, but she had a specialty, knitting. And at that time, when we got married, the nice hand-knit pullovers were highly popular in Hungary. I had a circle of friends from the forced labor times, and one of those had a shop. They took over the things my wife knit. She couldn’t only knit, but she could also assemble the pullovers.

She didn’t get a job for a long time. She sewed and knit at home. Then, in the 1950s they employed her at the Ration Card Office, because she had nice handwriting. Later she worked at the Hungarian Advertement Company. My sister Anna got her that job. Besides this she always did this and that, not only knitting. She learned leather-work very well, too.

After 1956 40, when many people left Hungary, an engineer colleague of mine emigrated with his family and because they wanted to sell everything they had, I bought a very good sewing machine. This was such a strong machine that one could sew leather with it, too. My wife made purses, belts, and that also brought money. But we were never that well off to buy a car. We never had a car. We didn’t go on holiday either; the summer cottage in Rakoscsaba wasn’t ours anymore. Some people moved into it during the Arrow Cross times and we couldn’t make them leave, so at the beginning of the 1950s my parents sold it inhabited for 10,000 forints. We never went abroad together either. I was in the GDR a couple times in the 1970s on business, but never in the West.

At the age of 54, after her second heart attack, my wife was pensioned off, and she got disability pension. She smoked very much. But as a pensioner she was very active, and here in the 15th district the district organization of the Popular Front and the Red Cross started a charity association. As far as I remember they called it Humanist Club. The Popular Front provided the space for it. Its aim was to collect clothes and money at the time when many people emigrated from Transylvania; that was already in the 1980s. The leader of this local movement was a Lutheran pastor, with whom my wife was on very good terms.

My wife died in 1990 and she wasn’t buried in a Jewish cemetery. She wasn’t religious. She said what many other Jews also did, that how could the Almighty let this happen. She was unwilling to go to the synagogue and she wanted the Lutheran pastor to bury her. The ceremony wasn’t Lutheran, only the pastor did the memorial. I was on very good terms with the pastor. Unfortunately he immigrated to South America for some reason. We wrote each other one of two letters, and then I found out that he had died at a relatively young age. 

We lived on Gyarmat Street until 1957. When my sister Anna got married they moved to my mother’s, the house in Rakospalota. Anna married Ferenc Bolmanyi, an artist, in 1954. He was an excellent artist, originally a great portrait painter, and at the beginning he was getting on, even the royal British family ordered from him. Then in the Rakosi regime they didn’t let him get on, partly because his non-figurative style was opposed to the socialist realism of that time, and partly because he was a very religious Jewish man. [Bolmanyi, Ferenc (1904–1990): A successful portrait painter at the beginning of his career. From 1938 he was drafted into forced labor regularly, but he survived the war. He was a member of the European School and, along with the other members of this school, was excluded from the public for a decade. His first exhibition was in March 1966 in the Fenyes Adolf Hall, and in March 1973 an exhibition on his life-work was shown at the Ernst Museum. On his 80th birthday a jubilee exhibit was organized at the Ernst Museum, where they presented 160 of his paintings. (Katalin S. Nagy)].

I don’t know whether they got married in the synagogue or not, but I wasn’t at their wedding. They didn’t have any children. My sister didn’t graduate from high school, but she learned to do paperwork well. She could typewrite and she knew stenography. Last she was an office worker at the Hungarian Advertisement Company. When Anna and her husband moved here my mother was already in bad health. Anna and her husband couldn’t maintain this big house financially. At that time there wasn’t gas heating but there were tile stoves. And for the upkeeping of a big house like this one needs technical skills, too. They simply couldn’t take it. They always complained that the conducts froze in the winter. Then we offered them to change apartments. I told them that I would give up the small apartment on Gyarmat Street they could manage that much easier, and that I would take care of this apartment. Unfortunately, they weren’t lucky there either, because in a heavy summer shower the drains in the house got clogged and they got flooded.

While I lived in that house it never happened that the sewer didn’t work. Perhaps they thought that I had kept it a secret before the exchange. Bolmanyi had submitted an application for a studio earlier, and luckily he got a beautiful studio apartment on Bartok Bela Street in 1965. It used to be a sculptor’s, the one who made this Eve sculpture, I have here. Originally it was a couple. Adam was bought by the pharmacy on Kigyo Street, and I got Eve as a gift from a friend. So they got that studio apartment, and their life became settled. After the change of regime his paintings were sought after. Bolmanyi died in 1990, and Anna remained in that apartment until her death. She died in 2002 and we buried her in the Jewish cemetery.

Post-war events

When the war was over, my friend Hajdu, who worked in a film studio, and I decided to start a small company together. I had another forced laborer comrade, who was rich enough, and he could equip a small film laboratory. Then they realized that it would be more interesting to make sound recordings. There was once a company in Budapest, which had the motto ‘Take home your voice!’ [Editor’s note: The Scheiber sound recording studio, where the ‘Take home your voice!’ recordings were made, operated in the 1930s. A sound recording studio with the same motto operated in the 1960s as well. (Gyula Kozak: Labjegyzetek a Hatvanas evek Magyarorszaga monografiahoz, Manuscript)].

We obtained at a discount price a device with which we could make sound recordings, and we thought that we could make a fortune out of this. But we didn’t. Our company was called Gong Recording Room. The company was in my name, because I had a good profession. When we started the company, I had already taken my master’s examination, so I was an electrician master, and I got a license. I got my certificate of mastership on 8th October 1946 and I got my license on 18th December 1946. In the end we switched over to be an electrician, and I could employ one or two people, because I had my old connections.

There was a lot of work at that time, after the war the destroyed houses had to be repaired. We rented a small room on Deak Ferenc Street, which meant that we were in the center of the city, and at that time shops were being reopened that needed to be wired. Besides this the sister of my friend Hajdu worked at the Metropolitan Public Project Council [which carried out the preparation and authority control of the metropolitan public constructions]. This was good because while I worked as an electrician, I got smaller and bigger jobs from the Public Project Council. I could get hold of material at the old wholesale traders. Before the war, when I was an electrician assistant I used to go to these wholesale traders, they knew me, and there were some who had hidden material.

Everything would have been all right, but then the Rakosi caprice 41 came, when they didn’t want to allow even the tradesmen to work, and as far as I remember in 1948 they imposed very high taxes, which were unbearable 42. So on 7th January 1949 I gave up my license and I asked for a hire-purchase discount. The Rakosi change of regime destroyed the Public Project Council, too, and Hajdu’s sister was transferred to the Structural Engineering Office, which replaced the Public Project Council, and she arranged two jobs for us there.

So in 1949 I got into the Structural Engineering Office. At first I was employed as an administrator. Soon after, the Structural Engineering Office became the General Building Design Company, where I got a key position because they entrusted me with economic work. Besides this I became the secretary of the trade union committee, which was called secretary of the works committee at that time. This was quite an important position at that time, because I was always in the so-called factory triangle: the director of the company, the party secretary, and the factory committee secretary. But this was one of the reasons why soon after I got into a conflict, which can be seen in my file, too. So I dropped out of the factory committee secretariat soon, and after that I never did anything like that. The personnel manager there noted about me that I was aggressive. In 1956 I got my file.

From 1950 I attended extension courses, and in 1954 I got my mechanic engineer degree. In the meantime I acquired complex practice in construction at the construction company, because besides the designing of electrical installations, I could take part in the construction work of central heating, water conduct, sewer installation and gas-fitting. Later they made it possible for me to learn and practice the designing of bonts and conveyors at the lift designing department of the Apartment Planning, then at the Public Building Construction Institute for about two years. From 1955 until 1957 I mainly designed electrical installations at the building modernization department of the Budapest Town Planning Institute [BUVATI].

In 1956 they elected me into the Revolutionary Committee at BUVATI. I was definitely a moderate person. For example, when we took the files from the personnel department, there were some who got really angry and blustered out threats. As far as I remember the personnel manager was a small Jewish red-haired man, and we defended him. We didn’t let him be fired or hurt, because the Institute functioned throughout. On the one hand the salaries had to be paid, on the other hand there were projects in progress, since the renovation of the ruined buildings in Budapest belonged to us. Then, in 1956 I didn’t join the Hungarian Socialist Workers’ Party 43 and so I managed to be out of this.

I have to mention here, that in 1945 I joined the Hungarian Social Democratic Party 44. At that time it was almost natural that everyone joined one of the parties. The Social Democratic Party suited my taste, my earlier mind, and the expectations of the family. When the two parties joined, I saw what it was about, but I didn’t dare to leave. In 1948 it might have been very dangerous to quit, and after that it was even more dangerous, since in 1953 they caught my father, and they said that they would catch me, too. I knew that they were inquiring about me, because the caretaker told me that they had been there and had been asking about me.

By accident I became very good friends with Alajos Fischer, who was much older than me. This started so that we had common projects. He designed the building, and I designed the building engineering part. His brother, Jozsef Fischer was minister of state in Imre Nagy’s 45 government for two days, between 2nd and 4th November 1956. There were many troubles around them, they were old social democrats. [Editor’s note: Jozsef Fischer (1901–1995): architect, politician, one of the reorganizers of the Social Democratic Party during the 1956 revolution.]. And this friendship made me even more convinced that I wouldn’t join the party again.

When in 1957 they formed the party organization again, people were very difficult to move [to join the Party again]. The consequence of this was that in the summer or fall of 1957 they sent Valentiny from the Building Ministry to talk us, old members into joining again. [Editor’s note: Agoston Valentiny was a social democratic politician, who was imprisoned in 1950-1955 as the accused of a show trial. The interviewee is referring to his son.] He held a big speech. In the end they asked who wanted to make a comment. I was one of these, and Alajos Fischer was the other one. Both of us told them to get lost. At that time they held Imre Nagy and his companions captive in Romania, and we both came out strong against it. We brought up especially those arguments, that it was a shame that they were holding captive the legal premier of Hungary. And we also asked them about the journalist who had been caught. We brought these things up, and told them that it was out of the question for us to join a party again, which was just like Rakosi’s party.

There was a big scandal, they dissolved the meeting, and a couple days later we were summoned to the directorate, where there were two people from the Department of the Interior. It was quite a harsh argument. I told them: ‘You don’t know, but I will tell you that my father was beaten and tortured to death at the AVH. When I tried to find out what had happened and why, I was told that I would never find out what had happened there. And nobody has given me any kind of explanation ever since. What would you think if after all this I had taken a couple men with machine guns and gone to Fo Street to find the ones who were responsible for this? Would that have been alright? Isn’t it a better solution that I try to change things in a peaceful way, so that I can live in a regime, where things like this cannot happen? I insist that Imre Nagy and his companions are the legal leaders of the country.’

The reaction was that they immediately pensioned off Alajos Fischer. And they told me: ‘We accept your story, but if you ever open your small mouth again – this is how they said it, one remembers such things – then you’ll see. Your name will be mud. You won’t be able to take part in anything.’ I answered, ‘At the meeting where Valentiny held a speech, we were all asked to give our opinion because there would be democracy from now on. It seems that what they said then wasn’t in Hungarian, but in Russian. The opposite is true. What you tell me now is at least in Hungarian. I will not open my mouth.’ And that’s what happened. I was very careful. Of course they fired me at once, for the sake of the precedent, so that people would know.

And then again my friends from the old engineer brigade got me a job within a couple days at the Metropolitan Fitter Company. Of course that wasn’t to my liking. I looked in the newspapers every day; I was looking for another job. I would have wanted two kinds of jobs. One was the theater, because when I worked at the Public Building Construction we worked for theaters, too, and one of my last jobs was the construction of a lighting effects mobile bridge at the Operetta Theater. The other one was the public health sector. And guess what, in 1959 I found an ad that a health institute in Budapest was looking for a building engineer. I applied and I succeeded. This was the National Oncology Institute. And nobody from the Department of the Interior interfered; they kept their promise as long as I kept my mouth shut. From 1959 I was the head of the technical department at the National Oncology Institute, and I worked there until my retirement.

From 1960 besides my main job I took on a part-time job at the technical department of the Hungarhotels Company, where I worked as a building engineering advisor next to the technical inspector for ten years.

In 1964 I applied at the Labor Department to be admitted in the directory of professionals, which happened on 25th February 1964. From then on I gave consultative assistance in construction, engineering and operating issues, especially for health institutions. The new anatomical building of the Sports Hospital and the epidemiological pavilion of the Cardiologycal Institute were constructed with my collaboration. I also contributed to the complete rewiring of the main building of the Neurosurgical Institute on Amerika Street, and I engineered the program of the rehabilitation building of the National Jozsef Fodor Health-Resort. Several statements of mine related to the technical equipment and professional requirements of health institutions were published in the professional magazine called Health Economic Review. I participated in the work of the Hospital Construction Committee. In 1971, at its congress, I held a presentation on the building engineering concerns of the use of light structures.

I was a member of the Hungarian Electrotechnical Association, and I was the president of the Medical Standardization Committee. Besides this I participated in the work of the technical group of the Popular Front, in which there were mainly engineers and technicians. This was social work, for example the renovation of old buildings. There was an old museum in the district, and they had its complete survey made, I made some proposals, I made a calculation. I did it with pleasure.

In the 1970s I broke my promise to be quiet that I had made to the people from the Department of the Interior. The local secretary of the Popular Front invited me to introduce me to the council president of the district. I couldn’t say no, since I had done this and that as a technical professional. We went up to the council president, and the district party secretary was also there. They seated us, gave us a coffee, and soon after they said what they really wanted: they wanted to nominate me as a council member at the next elections, because I was a good specialist, and I was young etc.

At first I burst out laughing. I said that I wasn’t willing to do something like that, and that we shouldn’t even talk about it. But they started trying to convince me. In the end I told them that they should acknowledge the fact that in 1956 I was on Imre Nagy’s side and that I still was at that moment. I also told them that I didn’t consider their regime a legitimate one and that I would never enlist to this regime. I told them that I never agreed with what they said, that there was a counter-revolution in Hungary. They were very astonished, but nothing happened after this.

My wife never joined the Party. After the war she only kept her Zionist connections for a short time. As far as I remember she was in touch with the Klal [Zionists]. [Editor’s note: Klal – Hebrew term for General, cf. General Zionism 46]. Since she had been in Palestine for a couple years she spoke Ivrit well, and there she taught Hebrew for a while, too. And there were some friendly get-togethers, and sometimes I went as well, because I was interested. But we were out of it very soon, perhaps already in 1946. Then she only lived public life in the Popular Front from the beginning of the 1980s.

As far as friends are concerned, I have already mentioned the Hajdu couple. We kept seeing each other throughout, we went on trips together. There wasn’t any other friendship as old and as close as this one was, but there were many others, too. At my workplaces I always made new friends, not only family friends, but also some with whom I sat down by a glass of wine to talk, and with whom we did things together. My wife also had her own circle of friends. For example, she had friends with whom she sometimes played cards. And she also had friends from the charity work. In fact nothing changed after I buried my poor wife. The good friendly relationships with those whom we kept in touch with endured.

Political activities

I got involved in political activity again in 1986, with the Bajcsy-Zsilinszky Society. I got here, so that when I was the senior engineer of the Oncology they assigned me to the Sports Hospital, too, where the senior engineer had been caught with corruption and someone had to arrange their things. I became very good friends with the finance director there. He was called Karoly Novak; he has since died, I gave the address at his funeral. He had been at the front, he got home safely and wrote his memoirs, ‘My Encounter with History’ was the title.

At first we only talked on a professional level, then about other things, too, and a very close friendship developed between us. He told me that he had known Endre Bajcsy-Zsilinszky in person, and that he was a member of the small society whose aim was to erect his statue in 1986, on the 100th anniversary of his birth. It had already been ordered, it was being done. They were registered as Endre Bajcsy-Zsilinszky Friendly Society. He told me that I should take part in it, that they needed people like me.

I joined, and in 1987, 1988 and 1989 I worked very actively. I wasn’t afraid of the Department of the Interior anymore. I didn’t care. Interestingly, they only started keeping me under observation sometime in 1988. Because in my files that I got from the Historical Bureau there are mainly those things when I was a strike organizer, when, for example, I held a presentation and held a memorial in the cemetery. So my political activity started with this, and it continued so that this friendly society was completely reorganized into a political society, and we had a secret place, a book stack on Akacfa Street, where we got together if we wanted to discuss a more delicate matter.

The Popular Front had a beautiful room, with seating room for about 50-60 people, and we regularly organized presentations there. We invited people like Istvan Eorsi, Gaspar Miklos Tamas, Sandor Csoori, Istvan Csurka. I mainly took on organizational tasks; I was in charge of the member registering and handled the correspondence. By the time we had 1000 registered members there wasn’t enough room, and then someone introduced me to the director of the Jurta Theater. They entrusted me to negotiate with him. I offered a cheekily small amount of money, and he accepted it. In a couple months the Jurta Theater became a famous institution. The culmination of this process was that the Bajcsy-Zsilinszky Society took part in the work of the Opposition Round-Table. I was one of the delegates of the Bajcsy-Zsilinszky Society at the meetings of the Opposition Round-Table, so I actively took part in the change of regime.

I am a founding member of the Hungarian Democratic Forum, and in 1990 I got into the deputy representation of the 15th district, and I was its member for a term, until 1994.

My children

In short about my children. Judit was born in 1947. When she graduated from high school I had already been working in the public health sector, and I took her into our hospital. She studied there in the laboratory for a while, then she got to the Public Health and Epidemics Institute by her own efforts, and by completing different courses she acquired specialized assistant’s qualification. She still does this until this day, only in the meantime the name of the KOJAL [Public Health and Epidemics Institute] became ANTSZ [Public Health and Medical Officer Service]. She married a military officer at the age of 19, in 1968. When her husband was assigned to Kaposvar she went with him, and she found a job there at the KOJAL and did the same work. She had a son who now lives in Germany. I don’t really know anything about him; I don’t know what he does. Unfortunately my daughter’s marriage didn’t work out, and after ten years they divorced. Later she remarried, but in 2000 she became a widow. She has lived alone since then.  

Peter was born in 1959. He graduated from I. Istvan High School [presently Szent Istvan High School] then he got a meteorologist degree at the ELTE TTK [Eötvös Lorand University, natural sciences faculty] in 1984. He took his doctor’s degree in 1999. He deals with climatology; he regularly publishes articles in international and national journals. He was married, but then he divorced. He doesn’t have any children.

We were very happy about the forming of the State of Israel, we kept out fingers crossed for the Jews, and we didn’t keep this a secret.

Glossary

1 Italian front, 1915-1918

Also known as Isonzo front. Isonzo (Soca) is an alpine river today in Slovenia, which ran parallel with the pre-World War I Austro-Hungarian and Italian border. During World War I Italy was primarily interested in capturing the ethnic Italian parts of Austria-Hungary (Trieste, Fiume, Istria and some of the islands) as well as the Adriatic littoral. The Italian army tried to enter Austria-Hungary via the Isonzo Rriver, but the Austro-Hungarian army was dug in alongside the river. After 18 months of continuous fighting without any territorial gain, the Austro-Hungarian army finally succeeded to enter Italian territory in October 1917.

2 Horthy, Miklos (1868-1957)

Regent of Hungary from 1920 to 1944. Relying on the conservative plutocrats and the great landowners and Christian middle classes, he maintained a right-wing regime in interwar Hungary. In foreign policy he tried to attain the revision of the Trianon Peace Treaty on the basis of which two thirds of Hungary's territory were seceded after WWI - which led to Hungary entering WWII as an ally of Germany and Italy. When the Germans occupied Hungary in March 1944, Horthy was forced to appoint as Prime Minister the former ambassador of Hungary in Berlin, who organized the deportations of Hungarian Jews. On 15th October 1944 Horthy announced on the radio that he would ask the Allied Powers for truce. The leader of the extreme right-wing fascist Arrow Cross Party, Ferenc Szalasi, supported by the German army, took over power. Horthy was detained in Germany and was later liberated by American troops. He moved to Portugal in 1949 and died there in 1957.

3 Horthy exemption

The so-called Horthy exemption was an order (issued on 21st August 1944) authorizing the Regent Miklos Horthy to declare people who contributed to the progress of the nation in the arts, sciences or economy, exempt from anti-Jewish legislation upon the proposal of the Council of Ministers. Miksa Domonkos (a reservist captain, leader of the Jewish Council [Judenrat] and head of the Budapest Ghetto administration) was exempted earlier as a highly decorated WWI hero.

4 Anti-Jewish Laws in Hungary

The first of these anti-Jewish laws was passed in 1938, restricting the number of Jews in liberal professions, administration, and in commercial and industrial enterprises to 20 percent. The second anti-Jewish Law, passed in 1939, defined the term "Jew" on racial grounds, and came to include some 100,000 Christians (apostates or their children). It also reduced the number of Jews in economic activity, fixing it at six percent. Jews were not allowed to be editors, chief-editors, theater directors, artistic leaders or stage directors. The Numerus Clausus was introduced again, prohibiting Jews from public jobs and restricting their political rights. As a result of these laws, 250,000 Hungarian Jews were locked out of their sources of livelihood. The third anti-Jewish Law, passed in 1941, defined the term "Jew" on more radical racial principles. Based on the Nuremberg laws, it prohibited inter-racial marriage. In 1941, the anti-Jewish Laws were extended to North-Transylvania. A year later, the Israelite religion was deleted from the official religions subsidized by the state. After the German occupation in 1944, a series of decrees was passed: all Jews were required to relinquish any telephone or radio in their possession to the authorities; all Jews were required to wear a yellow star; and non-Jews could not be employed in Jewish households. From April 1944 Jewish property was confiscated, Jews were barred from all intellectual jobs and employment by any financial institutions, and Jewish shops were closed down.

5 Calling up of women after the Arrow Cross takeover

After the Arrow Cross takeover in October 1944, approx. 10,000 women were drafted, organized into forced labor units and ordered to work in fortifications and to dig trenches. At the beginning of November, when Soviet troops initiated another offensive against the capital, those who survived the inhuman treatment and conditions were taken to a brick-yard in North Budapest together with Jewish women who had been given special mobilization orders a few days earlier. From here they were directed on foot toward Hegyeshalom at the Austrian border and handed over to the Germans who ordered them to build the "Eastern wall" defending Vienna.

6 Death Marches to Hegyeshalom

After 15th October 1944 the German occupation of Hungary and the Arrow Cross takeover, even Jewish women were ordered to work in fortifications around Budapest. At the beginning of November the Soviet troops initiated another offensive against the capital. In the changed situation the deportation plans 'had to be sped up' and many transports were directed on foot toward Hegyeshalom at the Austrian border. These marches were terribly cruel and resulted in an unprecedented high death rate. Until the Soviet occupation of Budapest (18th January 1945), about 98,000 of the capital's Jews lost their lives in further marches and in train transports, as well as at the hands of Arrow Cross extermination squads, due to starvation and disease as well as suicide. Some of the victims were simply shot and thrown into the Danube.

7 Great Depression

At the end of October 1929, there were worrying signs on the New York Stock Exchange in the securities market. On 24th October ('Black Thursday'), people began selling off stocks in a panic from the price drops of the previous days - the number of shares usually sold in a half year exchanged hands in one hour. The banks could not supply the amount of liquid assets required, so people didn't receive money from their sales. Five days later, on 'Black Tuesday', 16.4 million shares were put up for sale, prices dropped steeply, and the hoarded properties suddenly became worthless. The collapse of the Stock Exchange was followed by economic crisis. Banks called in their outstanding loans, causing immediate closings of factories and businesses, leading to higher unemployment, and a decline in the standard of living. By January of 1930, the American money market got back on it's feet, but during this year newer bank crises unfolded: in one month, 325 banks went under. Toward the end of 1930, the crisis spread to Europe: in May of 1931, the Viennese Creditanstalt collapsed (and with it's recall of outstanding loans, took Austrian heavy industry with it). In July, a bank crisis erupted in Germany, by September in England, as well. In Germany, in 1931, more than 19,000 firms closed down. Though in France the banking system withstood the confusion, industrial production and volume of exports tapered off seriously. The agricultural countries of Central Europe were primarily shaken up by the decrease of export revenues, which was followed by a serious agricultural crisis. Romanian export revenues dropped by 73 percent, Poland's by 56 percent. In 1933 in Hungary, debts in the agricultural sphere reached 2.2 billion Pengoes. Compared to the industrial production of 1929, it fell 76 percent in 1932 and 88 percent in 1933. Agricultural unemployment levels, already causing serious concerns, swelled immensely to levels, estimated at the time to be in the hundreds of thousands. In industry the scale of unemployment was 30 percent (about 250,000 people).

8 Secondary education

Secondary education: The first Act on Secondary Education in 1883 under Minister of Public Education Agoston Trefort, classified two types of secondary education: the grammar schools with emphasis on ancient languages and culture preparing the students for any high school, and modern schools with an emphasis on modern languages, mathematics and the sciences, preparing students for technical high schools in particular. From 1924 three types of secondary schools were distinguished by law: grammar school (Latin, ancient Greek and German), modern school (Latin, German and another modern language - either French, English or Italian) and the third type into which the majority of secondary schools were transformed (only modern languages and greater emphasis on mathematics and the sciences).

9 First Vienna Dictate

On 2nd November 1938 a German-Italian international committee in Vienna obliged Czechoslovakia to surrender much of the southern Slovakian territories that were inhabited mainly by Hungarians. The cities of Kassa (Kosice), Komarom (Komarno), Ersekujvar (Nove Zamky), Ungvar (Uzhorod) and Munkacs (Mukacevo), all in all 11.927 km2 of land, and a population of 1.6 million people became part of Hungary. According to the Hungarian census in 1941 84% of the people in the annexed lands were Hungarian-speaking.

10 Jokai, Mor (1825-1904)

Romantic novelist, playwright and journalist, the founder of the national romantic movement in Hungarian literature. After the defeat of the Hungarian Revolution and War of Independence in 1848, he became a fugitive of the Austrians. He was a very prolific writer, his complete works fill 100 volumes. Among his well-known works are Weekdays (1845), A Hungarian Nabob (1894) and Black Diamonds (1870). His work has been translated into over 25 languages.

11 Ady, Endre (1877-1919)

One of the most important Hungarian poets, who played a key role in renewing 20th century Hungarian poetry. He was a leading poet of the Nyugat [West], the most important Hungarian literary and critical journal in the first half of the 20th century. In his poems and articles he urged the transformation of feudal Hungary into a modern bourgeois democracy, a revolution of the peasants and an end to unlawfulness and deprivation. Having realized that the bourgeoisie was weak and unprepared for such changes, he later turned toward the proletariat. An intense struggle arose around his poetry between the conservative feudal camp and the followers of social and literary reforms.

12 Arany, Janos (1817-1882)

Outstanding Hungarian epic poet, member of the Hungarian Academy of Sciences. He is considered one of the founders of modern Hungarian poetry. He participated in the 1848 Hungarian Revolution and War of Independence but he didn't play a significant political role; it was much more through his works that he supported revolutionary democracy. He was born in a village but he became a true urban person, who knew and bore witness to big city life in the new metropolis, Budapest. Rustic and urbane life form an inseparable unity in his oeuvre.

13 Petofi, Sandor (1823-1949)

Outstanding Hungarian poet who expressed the sentiments and way of thinking of the folk in his poetry. He was contributor and editor of various publications in Pest. Petofi organized and led a circle of young radical intellectuals and writers and participated in the 1848 Hungarian Revolution and War of Independence as a leading revolutionary. His poem, The National Song, became the anthem of the Revolution. He joined the Hungarian army as captain in the fall of 1848 and he went to fight in Transylvania at the beginning of 1849. During his time in the army in Transylvania he wrote military reports and inspiring and glorifying poems. He disappeared in 1849.

14 Forced labor

Under the 1939 II. Law 230, those deemed unfit for military service were required to complete "public interest work service". After the implementation of the second anti-Jewish Law within the military, the military arranged "special work battalions" for those Jews, who were not called up for armed service. With the entry into northern Transylvania (August 1940), those of Jewish origin who had begun, and were now finishing, their military service were directed to the work battalions. A decree in 1941 unified the arrangement, saying that the Jews were to fulfill military obligations in the support units of the National Guard. In the summer of 1942, thousands of Jews were recruited to labor battalions with the Hungarian troops going to the Soviet front. Some 50,000 in labor battalions went with the Second Hungarian Army to the Eastern Front - of these, only 6-7,000 returned.

15 White Terror

After the failure of the Hungarian Soviet Republic, commandos linked with the army started to force people to account for their participation in the revolutionary movements, and retaliation began. Members of directoriates, communists, social democrats and those actively engaged in politics, were the focus of the atrocities. The cruelest groups were those led by Ivan Hejjas, Pal Pronay and Gyula Ostenburg-Moravek. Irrespective of their political activities, Jews were considered guilty in general. Count Pal Teleki, PM, disbanded these commandos ending the period of White Terror in 1920.

16 Numerus clausus in Hungary

The general meaning of the term is restriction of admission to secondary school or university for economic and/or political reasons. The Numerus Clausus Act passed in Hungary in 1920 was the first anti-Jewish Law in Europe. It regulated the admission of students to higher educational institutions by stating that aside from the applicants' national loyalty and moral reliability, their origin had to be taken into account as well. The number of students of the various ethnic and national minorities had to correspond to their proportion in the population of Hungary. After the introduction of this act the number of students of Jewish origin at Hungarian universities declined dramatically.

17 Anti-Semitic public sentiment at the beginning of the 1920s

Anti-Semitic public sentiment at the beginning of the 1920s: After the failure of the bourgeois-democratic revolution and that of the brief Bolshevik regime (Hungarian Soviet Republic), a political and economic crisis emerged in Hungary, which had lost two thirds of its territory as a result of the Trianon treaty. Hungarian Jewry was considered to be generally culpable by the new regime for playing a disproportionately large part in the upper ranks of both revolutions, especially Kun's. Though the reign of 'White Terror' was not aimed at the Jewry overtly, characteristically it did not distinguish between communists and Jews. After a chaotic period, the acts of violence abated and the situation improved while Istvan (Stephen) Bethlen was prime minister (1921-1931).

18 Laszlo Ocskay (1893-1966)

Born into a prominent Hungarian family in 1893, he served as an officer in World War I. He was the Commanding Officer of the 101/359 Labor Service Battalion in Budapest. Illegally, and against government policy Captain Ocskay was able to issue ‘official’ identification documents to his unit members, most of whom were survivors of anti-Semitic rampages, AWOL members of labor camps, children rescued from orphanages and other victims of Nazi persecution. Captain Laszlo Ocskay and his loyal staff were also able to obtain food, medicine and other items. Built to house a few hundred men, this unit, when liberated by the Soviets, housed approximately 2300 men, women and children. Not one person was lost to the Nazis. After 1945 Ocskay was arrested several times by the communists and accused of being an American spy. After recurring harassment he fled to Austria and then followed his son to the USA, where he died in poverty in 1966. He was honored post mortem with the Yad Vashem Medal of Honour in 2003.

19 Clothes-Collecting Company

From 1942 the Jewish forced laborers weren’t allowed to wear military uniforms, according to the orders of the War Department they had to wear civilian clothes, a yellow armband and military cap without a cap button. Although the Jews who didn’t have normal civilian clothing could get uniforms which had been taken from the Czechoslovakians and the Yugoslavians, and they had to be supplied with military boots, too, according to the orders, in reality from the beginning of 1942 most of the forced laborers wore their own clothes. From 1942 Jewish organizations organized garment collecting actions to help the forced laborers. At the end of 1944 they organized forced laborer company 101/359 to provide for the forced laborers; its commandant was first lieutenant Laszlo Ocskay. The company had about 2000-2500 members, they were mainly families, children saved from the orphanages, and runaway forced laborers, who all survived the war. (Source: http://isurvived.org/Rightheous_Folder/Rescue_by-DanDanieli.html#II; Jeno Levai: Fekete konyv: a magyar zsidosag szenvedéséről. Budapest, Officina, 1946. Jeno Levai: Szurke konyv: magyar zsidok megmenteserol. Budapest, Officina, 1946. Braham, R. L.: A nepirtas politikaja: A Holocaust Magyarorszagon. Budapest, Belvarosi Publishing House, 1997.)

20 Arrow Cross takeover

Arrow Cross takeover: After the failure of the attempt to break-away (see: Horthy's proclamation) on 15th October 1944, Horthy abdicated, revoked his proclamation and appointed the leader of the Arrow Cross Party, Ferenc Szalasi, as prime minister. With his abdication the position of head of state became vacant. The National Council, composed of the highest public dignitaries, delegated the position to Szalasi, as "national leader," a decision approved by both houses of Parliament in the absence of a majority of members. Szalasi ordered general mobilization in territories not yet occupied by the Soviets, increased the country's war contribution to Germany, and after Adolf Eichmann's return, they renewed the program of the extermination of the Hungarian Jewry.

21 German Invasion of Hungary [19th March 1944]

Hitler found out about Prime Minister Miklos Kallay's and Governor Miklos Horthy's attempts to make peace with the west, and by the end of 1943 worked out the plans, code-named 'Margarethe I. and II.', for the German invasion of Hungary. In early March 1944, Hitler, fearing a possible Anglo-American occupation of Hungary, gave orders to German forces to march into the country. On 18th March, he met Horthy in Klessheim, Austria and tried to convince him to accept the German steps, and for the signing of a declaration in which the Hungarians would call for the occupation by German troops. Horthy was not willing to do this, but promised he would stay in his position and would name a German puppet government in place of Kallay's. On 19th March, the Germans occupied Hungary without resistance. The ex-ambassador to Berlin, Dome Sztojay, became new prime minister, who - though nominally responsible to Horthy - in fact, reconciled his politics with Edmund Veesenmayer, the newly arrived delegate of the Reich.

22 Eichmann, Adolf (1906-1962)

Nazi war criminal, one of the organizers of mass genocide of Jews. Since 1932 member of the Nazi party and SS, since 1934 an employee of the race and resettlement departments of the RSHA (Main Security Office of the Reich), after the "Anschluss" of Austria headed the Headquarters for the Emigration of Jews in Vienna, later organized the emigration of Jews in Czechoslovakia and, since 1939, in Berlin. Since December 1939 he was the head of the Departments for the Resettlement of Poles and Jews from lands incorporated into the Reich. Since mid-1941, as the Head of the Branch IV B 4 Gestapo RSHA, he coordinated the plan of the extermination of Jews, organized and carried out the deportations of millions of Jews to death camps. After the war he was imprisoned in an American camp, he managed to escape and hid in Germany, Italy and Argentina. In 1960 he was captured by the Israeli secret service in Buenos Aires. After a process which took several months, he was sentenced to death and executed. Eichmann's trial initiated a great discussion about the causes and the carrying out of the Shoah.

23 Szalasi, Ferenc (Kassa, 1897 – Budapest, 1946)

Ferenc Szalasi was the leader of the Arrow-Cross Party, prime minister. He came from a middle class family, his father was a clerk. He studied at the Becsujhely Military Academy, and in 1915 he became a lieutenant. After WWI he was nominated captain and became  a member of the general staff. In 1930 he became a member of the secret race protecting association called Magyar Elet [Hungarian Life], and in 1935 he established his own association, called Nemzeti Akarat Partja [Party of the National Will]. At the 1936 interim elections his party lost, and the governing party tried to prevent them from gaining more ground. At the 1939 elections Szalasi and his party won 31 electoral mandates. At German pressure Horthy appointed him as prime minister, and shortly after he got hold of the presidential office too. He introduced a total terror with the Arrow-Cross men and continued the eradication of the Jewry, and the hauling of the values of the country to Germany. He was arrested by American troops in Germany, where he had fled from Soviet occupation on 29th March 1945. He was executed as war criminal on 12th March 1946.

24 Wallenberg, Raoul (1912-1947?)

Swedish diplomat and businessman. In 1944, he was assigned to Sweden's legation in Budapest, where he helped save approximately 100,000 Hungarian Jews from Nazi extermination. He issued Swedish passports to approximately 20,000 Jews and sheltered others in houses he bought or rented. Adolf Eichmann, heading the transport of Jews to concentration camps, demanded that Wallenberg stop these activities and ordered his assassination, but the attempt failed. In 1945, the Soviets, who had just entered Budapest, imprisoned him, possibly because of work he was doing for the U.S. secret service. In 1957 the Soviet government announced that he had died in prison of a heart attack in 1947, but he was reported seen at later dates. In 1991 Soviet authorities released KGB records that, although they did not contain proof that Wallenberg was dead, appeared to confirm that he had died in 1947, most likely by execution. He was made an honorary U.S. citizen in 1981. (Source: The Columbia Encyclopedia, Sixth Edition. 2001)

25 Jewish Council/Judenrat

Jewish councils appointed by German occupying authorities to carry out Nazi orders in the Jewish communities of occupied Europe. After the establishment of the ghettos they were responsible for everything that happened within them. They controlled all institutions operating in the ghettos, the police, the employment agency, food supplies, housing, health, social work, education, religion, etc. Germans also made them responsible for selecting people for the work camps, and, in the end, choosing those to be sent to camps that were in reality death camps. It is hard to judge their actions due to the abnormal circumstances. Some believe they betrayed Jews by obeying orders, and others think they were trying to gain time and save as many people as possible.

26 Kistarcsa Internment Camp

This internment camp served as place of imprisonment for those held for political reasons before the German occupation. After the occupation of Hungary by the German army on 19th March 1944 1500-2000 Jews were transported here. Most of these Jews were then deported to Auschwitz.

27 Stockler, Lajos (1897-1960)

The lace-maker Lajos Stockler played an active role in the shaping of the fate of the Budapest Jewry from the end of July 1944. From 15th October 1944 he was the vice president of the Jewish Council, and then from 28th October he became the president and the leader of the ghetto. He remained an active leader of the Hungarian Jewry even after the war: the Pest Jewish Community was reorganized under his leadership. He was the president of the National Office of the Hungarian Jews, the National Association of the Hungarian Jews, and the Central Council of the Hungarian Jews. According to many opinions he gradually became an instrument of the communists.

28 Ferenczy, Laszlo (1898-1946)

A gendarme officer, Laszlo Ferenczy was the communicant of the gendarmerie at the German Security Department from 28th March 1944. He played an important role in the planning and winding up of the deportation of the Hungarian Jewry. From 17th October 1944 he was the authorized administrant of Jewish matters, later he became the leader of the central gendarme investigation department. In 1945 he fled to Germany, but he was caught and the People's Court in Budapest sentenced him to death in 1946. (Source: UMEL)

29 Dohany Street Synagogue

Europe's largest and still functioning synagogue is a characteristic example of the Hungarian capital's Romantic style architecture and was always considered the main temple of Hungarian Jewry. The Jewish Community of Pest acquired the site in 1841 and the synagogue was built between 1854 and 1859, designed by Ludwig Foerster (who also designed the synagogue of Tempelgasse in Vienna, Austria). Using the biblical description of the Temple of Solomon as a model, he developed his peculiar orientalistic style while using the most modern contemporary techniques. The Hall of Heroes with the monument to Hungarian Jewish martyrs, set up in 1991, and the Jewish Heroes' Mausoleum built in 1929-1931 are next to the main building while the Jewish Museum is in an adjacent building.

30 Yellow star houses

The system of exclusively Jewish houses which acted as a form of hostage taking was introduced by the Hungarian authorities in June 1944 in Budapest. The authorities believed that if they concentrated all the Jews of Budapest in the ghetto, the Allies would not attack it, but if they placed such houses all over Budapest, especially near important public buildings it was a kind of guarantee. Jews were only allowed to leave such houses for two hours a day to buy supplies and such.

31 Protected house

In November 1944, the International and Swedish Red Cross, as well as representatives of the consulates of neutral countries came to an agreement with the Hungarian foreign minister,  Count Gabor Kemeny, to concentrate the Jews holding safe-conduct passes in different parts of the city until the time of their transportation to neutral countries. The zone of these protected houses ('international ghetto') was formed in the Ujlipotvaros district of Budapest, since the majority of residents living there had been sent, in marching companies, toward Austria. In practice, the  protected houses weren't a secure refuge. There were often raids for various reasons (fake papers etc.) when many residents were dragged off and shot into the Danube. In January 1945, the Arrow Cross started transporting protected house residents to the large Budapest ghetto, but the determined protests and threats of the ambassadors eventually stopped the emptying of these houses.

32 Document emitted by the diplomatic missions of neutral countries, which guaranteed its owner the protection of the given country

Theoretically this document exempted the Jews from several duties such as wearing the yellow star. Most of the free-passes were emitted by the Swiss and Swedish Consulates in Budapest. The Swiss consul Karl Lutz asked for 7,000 emigration permits in April 1944. The emission of the Swedish Schutzpass for Hungarian Jews started with Raoul Wallenberg's assignment as consul in Hungary. Free-passes used to be emitted also by Spain, Portugal and the Vatican. Although the number of free-passes was maximized to 15,600 in fall 1944, the real number of free-passes in circulation was much higher: 40-70,000 emitted by Switzerland, 7-10,000 by Sweden, 3,000 by Spain, not to mention the fake ones. Beginning in mid-November 1944 and citing as a reason the high number and the falsification of passes, Arrow Cross groups started to also carry off those people who had a pass. During raids of Jewish houses, Arrow Cross groups shot all the tenants into the Danube.

33 Executions on the Danube Banks

Executions on the Danube Banks: In the winter of 1944/45, after the Arrow Cross, the Hungarian fascists, came to power, Arrow Cross militiamen combed through the 'protected houses' of Ujlipotvaros, a bourgeois part of Budapest, collected the Jews, brought them to the bank of the Danube and shot them into the river.

34 Joint (American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee)

The Joint was formed in 1914 with the fusion of three American Jewish committees of assistance, which were alarmed by the suffering of Jews during World War I. In late 1944, the Joint entered Europe's liberated areas and organized a massive relief operation. It provided food for Jewish survivors all over Europe, it supplied clothing, books and school supplies for children. It supported cultural amenities and brought religious supplies for the Jewish communities. The Joint also operated DP camps, in which it organized retraining programs to help people learn trades that would enable them to earn a living, while its cultural and religious activities helped re-establish Jewish life. The Joint was also closely involved in helping Jews to emigrate from Europe and from Muslim countries. The Joint was expelled from East Central Europe for decades during the Cold War and it has only come back to many of these countries after the fall of communism. Today the Joint provides social welfare programs for elderly Holocaust survivors and encourages Jewish renewal and communal development.

35 DEGOB (National Committee for the Treatment of Hungarian Jewish Deportees)

founded in Budapest in March 1945, DEGOB joined the OZSSB (National Jewish Aid Committee) in August of that year (the latter coordinated the work of aid organizations). It helped deportees who were stuck abroad with getting home and gave widespread assistance during the critical years of 1945 and 1946. Last but not least it also documented data on the dead and those who survived. (DEGOB's information branch was co-opted by the relevant department of the World Zionist Congress in 1946.) DEGOB continued its social and aid activity until April 1950, at which time the OZSSB ceased to exist. The task was taken over by the central social committee of the National Bureau of Hungarian Israelites.

36 AVH (and AVO)

  In 1945, the Political Security Department was created under the jurisdiction of the Budapest Police Headquarters, and directed by Gabor Peter. Its aim was the arrest and prosecution of war criminals. In October 1946, the Hungarian State Police put this organization under direct authority of the interior minister, under the name - State Defense Department (AVO). Although the AVO's official purpose was primarily the defense of the democratic state order, and to investigate war crimes and crimes against the people, as well as the collection and recording of foreign and national information concerning state security, from the time of its inception it collected information about leading coalition party politicians, tapped the telephones of the political opponents of the communists, ...etc. With the decree of 10th September 1948, the powers of the Interior Ministry broadened, and the AVO came under its direct subordination - a new significant step towards the organization's self-regulation. At this time, command of the State Border, Commerce and Air Traffic Control, as well as the National Central Alien Control Office (KEOKH) was put under the sphere of authority of the AVH, thus also empowering them with control of the granting of passports. The AVH (State Defense Authority) was created organizationally dependent on the Interior Ministry on 28th December 1949, and was directly subordinate to the Ministry council. Military prevention and the National Guard were melded into the new organization. In a move to secure complete control, the AVH was organized in a strict hierarchical order, covering the entire area of the country with a network of agents and subordinate units. In actuality, Matyas Rakosi and those in the innermost circle of Party leaders were in direct control and authority over the provision of it. The sitting ministry council of 17th July 1953 ordered the repeal of the AVH as an independent organ, and its fusion into the Interior Ministry. The decision didn't become public, and because of its secrecy caused various misunderstandings, even within the state apparatus. Also attributable to this confusion, was the fact that though the AVH was really, formally stripped of its independent power, it remained in continuous use within the ranks of state defense, and put the state defense departments up against the Interior Ministry units. This could explain the fact that on 28th October 1956, in the radio broadcast of Imre Nagy, he promised to disband that State Defense Authority, which was still in place during his time as Prime Minister, though it had been eliminated three years earlier.

37 Transylvania

Geographical and historical region belonging to Hungary until 1918-19, then ceded to Romania. Its area covers 103,000 sq.km between the Carpathian Mountains and the present-day Hungarian and Serbian borders. It became a Roman province in the 2nd century (AD) terminating the Dacian Kingdom. After the Roman withdrawal it was overrun, between the 3rd and 10th centuries, by the Goths, the Huns, the Gepidae, the Avars and the Slavs. Hungarian tribes first entered the region in the 5th century, but they did not fully control it until 1003, when King Stephen I placed it under jurisdiction of the Hungarian Crown. Later, in the 12th and 13th centuries, Germans, called Saxons (then and now), also arrived while Romanians, called Vlachs or Walachians, were there by that time too, although the exact date of their appearance is disputed. As a result of the Turkish conquest, Hungary was divided into 3 sections: West Hungary, under Habsburg rule, central Hungary, under Turkish rule, and semi-independent Transylvania (as a Principality), where Austrian and Turkish influences competed for supremacy for nearly two centuries. With the defeat of the Turkish Transylvania gradually came under Habsburg rule, and due to the Compromise of 1867 it became an integral part of Hungary again. In line with other huge territorial losses fixed in the Treaty of Trianon (1920), Transylvania was formally ceded to Romania by Hungary. For a short period during WWII it was returned to Hungary but was ceded to Romania once again after the war.  Many of the Saxons of Transylvania fled to Germany before the arrival of the Soviet army, and more followed after the fall of the Communist government in 1989. In 1920, the population of Erdély was 5,200,000, of which 3 million were Romanian, 1,400,000 Hungarian (26%), 510,000 German and 180,000 Jewish. In 2002, however, the percentage of Hungarians was only 19.6% and the German and Jewish population decreased to several thousand. Despite the decrease of the Hungarian, German and Jewish element, Transylvania still preserves some of its multiethnic and multi-confessional tradition.

38 Columbus Street Asylum

Fleeing Jews, mainly from the countryside, were gathered in the back wing and the yard of the Institute for the Deaf and Dumb on Columbus Street. There they waited for emigration passes, pending the outcome of negotiations between Zionist leaders and the SS, in the Zuglo District (Budapest). Only one group of emigrants left the asylum in June 1944. First they were transported to Bergen-Belsen, but later allowed to immigrate to Switzerland upon the order of Himmler (see also Kasztner-train). By the time of the Arrow Cross takeover, several thousand people were crowded into the asylum. The elderly were transferred to the ghetto while those of working age were transported to Bergen-Belsen.

39 Malenkiy robot

  This was the term used for forced labor of the women, children and men who were deported from Hungary by the Soviet army to forced labor camps and prison-camps. About one third of the Hungarian prisoners were civilians. The deportation of the civilians happened in two waves. First they deported people right after the operations under the pretext of having to clear away the ruins, and 1-2 months later they gathered the civilians with a carefully planned action. In the background of the deportations, besides the need for man-power, there was the intention of collective punishment as well. In the first wave the Soviet soldiers mislead the civilians, telling them that they would have to do urgent road reparation and ruin clearing labor service, and encouraging them saying 'malenkiy robot,' which means small job. This term first became a household word, and then entered the academic terminology. In principle the deportations only concerned the Germans in Hungary, but in fact most of the deportees were Hungarian. The deportees were put in concentration camps, where they spent about 1-2 months, and from there they were transported to transit camps which were on Romanian territory. They got to one of the Soviet camps after several weeks of traveling in cattle cars. Most of the Hungarian prisoners of war and internees got to the GUPVI camps. They only took those to the GULAG who were condemned because of war crimes at the Soviet court-martial with the contribution of the Hungarian authorities. Those who returned from Soviet captivity were registered from 1946: about 330-380 thousand returned, and about 270-370 thousand died in the camps and during transportation. The labor camps were usually just like prisoner of war enclosures. The prisoners worked at the mines in Donetsk [today Ukraine], lumbering and turf-cutting places in Siberia [today Russia], in collectives and bigger constructions. They usually got back to Hungary after several years. (Source: Magyarorszag a masodik világhaboruban, Lexikon A-ZS, Budapest, 1997; Tamas Stark: "Magyarok szovjet kenyszermunkataborokban", Kortars, 2002/2-3).

40 1956

It designates the Revolution, which started on 23rd October 1956 against Soviet rule and the communists in Hungary. It was started by student and worker demonstrations in Budapest and began with the destruction of Stalin's gigantic statue. Moderate communist leader Imre Nagy was appointed as prime minister and he promised reform and democratization. The Soviet Union withdrew its troops which had been stationed in Hungary since the end of World War II, but they returned after Nagy's declaration that Hungary would pull out of the Warsaw Pact to pursue a policy of neutrality. The Soviet army put an end to the uprising on 4th November, and mass repression and arrests began. About 200,000 Hungarians fled from the country. Nagy and a number of his supporters were executed. Until 1989 and the fall of the communist regime, the Revolution of 1956 was officially considered a counter-revolution.

41 Rakosi regime

Matyas Rakosi was a Stalinist Hungarian leader of Jewish origin from 1948-1956. He introduced a complete communist terror, established a Stalinist type cult for himself and was responsible for the show trials of the early 1950s. After the Revolution of 1956, he went to the Soviet Union, where he died in 1971.

42 Nationalization of retail trade

In February 1948 the HCP published its principles on the 'further socialist development' of the country with the aim of the 'total purging of plutocrats from the economy.' Subsequent measures in the first round targeted wholesale merchants. Since there was no definite distinction between wholesale and retail trade, as there is between large- and small-scale industries for example, the nationalization process was characterized by a high level of chance. Parallel to the elimination of private trade, state trading companies were founded. From 1950 private wholesale trading could even be punished. In the fall of 1952, all still existing retail businesses were nationalized through the withdrawing of licenses for market vending, catering and food trade.

43 Hungarian Workers' Party (MDP)

Hungarian Workers' Party (Magyar Dolgozok Partja), the ruling Communist Party formed in 1948 with the merger of the communists and social democrats. Renamed MSZMP in 1956.

44 Hungarian Social Democrat Party (MSZDP)

Established in 1890, it fought for general and secret suffrage and for the rights of the working class, as a non-parliamentary party during the dualistic era. In October 1918 it took part in the bourgeois-democratic revolution and the cabinets that followed. In March 1919 the unified MSZDP and HCP proclaimed the Hungarian Soviet Republic. After its failure, the party was reorganized. Its leaders entered into bargain with PM Bethlen in 1921, according to which the free operation of the party and that of the trade unions was assured, while the MNDSZ renounced the organization of state employees, railway and agricultural workers, political strikes and republican propaganda, among others. In the elections of 1922, the MSZDP became the second largest party of the opposition in Parliament, but later lost much of its support as a consequence of the welfare institutions initiated by the Hungarian governments in the 1930s. After the German occupation of Hungary the party was banned and its leaders arrested, forcing the party into illegitimacy. In the postwar elections it gathered the second most votes. As member of the Left Bloc created by the communists it took part in dissolving the Smallholders' Party. At the same time the HCP tried to absorb the MSZDP as directed from Moscow, not without success: in 1948 the name of the two united parties became the Hungarian Workers' Party (MDP). After the instatement of a single-party dictatorship, social democratic leaders were removed. Under the leadership of Anna Kethly the party was renewed in 1956 and participated in the cabinet of Imre Nagy.

45 Nagy, Imre (1896-1958)

As member of the communist party from 1920, he lived in exile in Vienna between 1928 and 1930, then in Moscow until 1944. He was a Member of Parliament from 1944 to 1955, and the Minister of Agriculture in 1944-1945, at which time he carried out land reforms. He became Minister of the Interior in 1945-1946. He filled several high positions in the party between 1944 and 1953. After Stalin's death, during the period of thaw, he was elected PM (1953-1955). As prime minister he began to promote the so-called July program of the party from the year 1953. Accordingly he stopped jailings, police kangaroo courts and population displacements, initiated the investigation of trial proceedings. He also promoted changes in agriculture. He was forced to resign, and later expelled from the HCP by party hardliners, in 1955. On 24th October 1956 he was once again elected to the position of prime minister. On 22nd November 1956 he was arrested by Russian soldiers and subsequently jailed in the Snagov prison in Romania. In April 1957 he was taken to Budapest, where he was given the death sentence in a secret trial. The sentence was carried out on 16th June 1958.

46 General Zionism

General Zionism was initially the term used for all members of the Zionist Organization who had not joined a specific faction or party. Over the years, the General Zionists, too, created ideological institutions and their own organization was established in 1922. The precepts of the General Zionists included Basle-style Zionism free of ideological embellishments and the primacy of Zionism over any class, party, or personal interest. This party, in its many metamorphoses, championed causes such as the encouragement of private initiative and protection of middle-class rights. In 1931, the General Zionists split into Factions A and B as a result of disagreements over issues of concern in Palestine: social affairs, economic matters, the attitude toward the General Federation of Jewish Labor, etc. In 1945, the factions reunited. Most of Israel's liberal movements and parties were formed under the inspiration of the General Zionists and reflect mergers in and secessions from this movement.

Friedrich Falevich

Friedrich Falevich
Slutsk
Belarus
Interviewer: Ella Levitskaya
Date of interview: January 2006

Friedrich Falevich was having a hard time at the time of this interview. His wife was severely ill. Their sons live in another town, and there are just the two of them to take care of each other. Friedrich has to take care of the household work and of his wife.

This requires a lot of time and effort. I didn't have a chance to visit him at home. Such visits would not be appreciated considering that there is a severely ill member of the family at home. I conducted this interview at the hotel where I was staying.

Fortunately, Friedrich lives across the street from this hotel. He could come for the interview a few times a day. He did everything he had to at home, and then found an hour and a half to come to see me at the hotel before he rushed back to his wife.

Friedrich's life has never been cloudless, but he has never lost optimism and his sense of humor. Friedrich is a stout man of average height. One can tell he spent a lot of time doing sports when he was young. He has very kind eyes.

It was very hard for Friedrich to speak about all the horrors he went through in his childhood during the war. He was prisoner of two ghettos in Slutsk.

His family was among the few survivors. In his childhood Friedrich understood that the main value in life is doing good things for other people, and he's lived his life according to this principle. He still follows this principle and finds possibilities to help people despite his own hardships.

  • My family background

My father's family lived in Lyakhovichi, Brest region [about 100 km from Minsk], a small town in Belarus. My paternal grandmother and grandfather came from Lyakhovichi. I hardly know anything about my grandfather Isroel Falevich. He was a cabman. My grandfather died in the early 1930s, and my father didn't tell me much about him. I knew my grandmother Rieva. I don't know my grandfather of grandmother's dates of birth. I sometimes wish I knew more about my family. I would like to know more details of our ancestors' life, now that I've grown old enough. I think it would be interesting to know, but there is nobody to ask.

My father was the youngest of four children. I know that my father had two sisters, but neither my brother nor I can remember even their names. All I know is that long before the Great Patriotic War 1 one of them moved to Vilnius, Lithuania, and another one moved to Tallinn [today Estonia]. They were married. The one from Vilnius visited us once and wrote a few letters, but then our communication stopped.

We have no information about her or any of her family or children. As for another sister, I've never met her. I knew my father's older brother Yakov. I think he was born in 1902. My father Iosif was born in 1905. I know nothing about my father's childhood. My father had some education. I think he finished seven years. My father's family spoke Yiddish at home.

It's hard to say how religious the family was before the revolution [Russian Revolution of 1917] 2. At least, when I knew grandmother Rieva, from what I remember, she didn't observe Jewish traditions. Or maybe, I just didn't know that she did. I was too young to understand things of this kind.

Lyakhovichi was one of many such towns in Belarus. Jews constituted almost half of its population. I've never visited my father's home town, but that's what my father told me about it. The origin of the Falevich surname is interesting. There is a small Belarus village by the name of Falevichi not far from Lyakhovichi.

Almost all villagers have the surname of Falevich, but there are no Jews among them. Once, when I was in the Naroch recreation center in the vicinity of Minsk, I met Faina Falevich, a plain village girl. She worked as a medical nurse in the recreation center. Her father's name was Iosif, like my father's. Perhaps, one of my kin came from this village. I don't know. I don't think my father would have known. My father didn't tell me about Lyakhovichi, his home town either.

When Yakov and my father grew up, they left Lyakhovichi for Slutsk, Minsk region [about 100 km from Minsk]. Slutsk was a bigger town, and it was easier to find a job in a bigger town. Yakov went to work as a firefighter. He married Anastasia, a Russian girl. They had four children. Their older son's name was Vladimir.

This was a very popular name at the time. This was the name of Lenin, the leader of the Soviet proletariat. The second child's name was Raisa, then came their son Anatoliy and their daughter Ludmila. My grandfather and grandmother moved to Slutsk. They lived close to our house.

My father was very enthusiastic about the revolution and establishment of the Soviet power. This is so natural, considering that he came from a poor family, and the Soviet regime gave him all he had. My father joined the Communist Party when he was very young. This happened in 1925 when he was 20.

Having no special education, he was appointed to managerial positions when he became a party member. These people were called promoted workers. It meant that the Soviet regime promoted and supported them. They were fit considering their social origin and class of origin.

My mother came from Kopyl, Minsk region [about 100 km from Minsk], a small Belarusian town. Her father and my grandfather, Girsh Abramovich, was also a cabman and Grandmother Sarah was a housewife. I remember my grandfather and grandmother's house. This was a big and stable wooden house.

There was a big yard and household structures in the yard: a cow shed and stables where Grandfather kept his horses. There was an orchard and a vegetable garden near the house. My brothers and I often visited and stayed with my mother's parents. Kopyl is not far from Slutsk, and often one of our acquaintances gave us a lift or our father took us there by car.

I remember my grandmother and grandfather well. Grandfather Girsh was a tall and strong man. He had no beard, but from what I remember he hardly ever looked shaved. I remember him standing by his tackled up horse with a whip in his hands. I remember my grandfather slapping on his bootleg with the whip. Then he usually got into his cab and left for work. He came back after dark, when we were asleep, for the most part. I thought this was the way strong men should have looked. My grandfather was a bit rugged and taciturn, but he loved his grandchildren and was happy, when we were visiting. My grandmother was a nice, short, snub-nosed and round-faced lady.

I remember her wearing a dress and an apron. Her sleeves were always rolled up. When we were naughty, my grandmother pretended she was yelling at us waffing her hands as if she was chasing away flies. In summer we liked sleeping in the hayloft on the fragrant straw, stored for the cow and horses. We played in the garden and ran around in the yard. My mother's parents only spoke Yiddish at home.

I don't know if my grandmother and grandfather were religious. I don't remember ever seeing my grandfather pray. In the morning he had breakfast, gave everybody an errand to be done before he was back and left. He didn't pray after coming back home in the evening either.

I know that there were five children. My mama was the youngest. I've never seen Mama's two brothers and don't know anything about them. I know that Mama also had a sister named Masha [affectionate for Maria], but have no information about her. I only knew Mama's sister Rishe. She was ¾ years older than Mama. My mother was born in 1906. She was given the Jewish name of Judes.

Later Mama started to be addressed by the Russian name of Yulia [common name] 3, and this was the name that she had in her passport. However, she had the name of Judes indicated in her birth certificate. Neither Mama, nor her sister Rishe managed to get any education. They were illiterate, and the only thing they could manage was writing their names.

Mama and my father met in Slutsk. Mama left Kopyl for Slutsk looking for better job opportunities. I don't remember the details of their acquaintance.

All I can say for sure is that this wasn't a matchmaking process since there were no matchmakers left at the time. They got married some time in 1924-1925. Undoubtedly, they didn't have a traditional Jewish wedding. I don't know, maybe they organized a party for their families.

Mama didn't work after getting married. My father occupied a rather responsible position at the time. He was director of the Slutsk vegetable storage base Belplodoovoshsch and was a member of the bureau of the Slutsk district party committee. The salary he was paid was quite sufficient for the family.

  • Growing up

Our family lived on Komsomolskaya Street in the center of Slutsk. There were several wooden houses in the street - each for two families. There were two different entrances to each apartment. We lived in one of those houses. There was a big garden in the yard, and there was also a Forpost sports ground. Forpost was something like a sports ground and a club at the same time. Children liked it and spent a lot of time there. My brothers and I were no exception.

My oldest brother Igor was born in 1926. He was the only one who didn't have a brit milah. I don't know if my brother has a Jewish name. In his documents his name is stated as Igor, while Grandmother called him Izia at home. Izia was affectionate for Isaac or Israel. My next brother, Boris, was born in 1929. Both of them still knew Grandfather Isroel, our father's father.

He died shortly before I was born. I was born on 1st May 1934. The 1st of May was a Soviet holiday. My father selected a name for me from the communist calendar. One day in late April was Friedrich Engels' 4 death anniversary, and that's how it happened that I had the name of Friedrich given to me. This is what Mama told me.

I remember the house where we lived before the war. We had three or four rooms in our quarters and a big kitchen. There were high ceilings and big windows. There was a big living room. The living room was called a hall at the time. The family sat in this room on holidays and also, we received guests in it.

On two walls of this room, from the floor to the ceiling, there were big portraits of all members of the politburo of the Central Party Committee in frames behind the glass. I guess all party members had such portraits. These portraits were sacred to my father. Our apartment was always clean and well-maintained. Mama and Grandmother kept our home very clean. Mama was very particular about cleanliness. Everything, including the dishes, was shiny.

We were a well-respected family in the town. We were the family of a top level official. Nevertheless, one of my childhood memories is that Mama often took piglets for fattening. We had sheds behind the house, and that was where Mama and our neighbor kept pigs. Our neighbor fattened pigs to 20 poods of weight [1 pood = 16kg].

They couldn't even move and waited there till the food was brought to them. We didn't have such giants, but still, when my parents slaughtered a pig, the family had pork fat and meat that lasted for months. We didn't observe Jewish traditions at home. The party struggled against religion 5 and relics of the past in people's minds, and my father was a dedicated communist.

The Jewish population prevailed in Slutsk before the war. There were 14,000 Jews out of 22,000 residents. For the most part, we had Jewish friends. Our father or mother never told us that we shouldn't play with Russian or Belarusian children. My father was a convinced internationalist and just couldn't teach us things like this, but it happened so that we played with Jewish children. We didn't disassociate ourselves from Russian children, and played with them whenever they came to our yard. Never in my prewar childhood did I hear the word 'Jew' or 'zhyd' from a child or adult.

There was no such national segregation or anti-Semitism. We spent almost all of our time in the yard. We did sports in the Forpost or played in the yard or in the garden. We did our own things. Mama checked that we were in the yard every now and then. We weren't supposed to go to the street, but we really didn't have to.

There was sufficient entertainment for us in the yard. My older brothers spent time with their own friends, and I played with my friends. There was sufficient space in the yard. On weekends our parents and we went to swim in the Sluchanka River not far from our house. Sometimes I went to the river bank with my older brother. I had a happy childhood.

Our grandmother Rieva, my father's mother, also lived in Slutsk. She had a house on Volodarskaya Street not far from our house. My grandmother seemed very old to me, but now I understand that she was probably younger than I am now. My grandmother was bow-backed under the load of her years. She wore a large warm checked shawl with tassels. Grandmother put it round her head, and it fell onto her shoulders and back like a mantle. Many old Jewish women in Slutsk wore such shawls.

My grandmother loved her grandchildren dearly, and we loved her as well. Grandmother didn't bore us with moral teaching and understood us. My grandmother was very easy-going and loved talking to us. She listened to what we had to tell her and gave us her advice. She would have called us to order when we were naughty, but this didn't happen often.

My grandmother spent almost all of her time at our home. She only went home to sleep. I don't think my grandmother was religious, at least she wasn't when I knew her. Considering my father's position, my grandmother's religiosity might have done him harm in his party-wise and work career. I hardly ever visited my grandmother's home on Volodarskaya Street. My grandmother might have had a book of prayers and she might have observed Jewish traditions, but I know nothing about it.

All I can say is that we didn't have a kosher household. Mama didn't separate meat and dairy products and moreover, we often had pork or pork fat. I cannot be sure that my grandmother ate pork fat as well, but she joined us for meals and ate from our non-kosher dishes. I remember Mama pouring wine into Grandmother's glass, and Grandmother dipped a bun into it and ate it. I wish I knew more about my grandmother, but in those years I had different interests and I wanted to spend more time with my friends, rather than communicate with my grandmother.

My grandmother taught us a lot. She taught me and my brother Yiddish. We couldn't read or write in Yiddish, but we can still speak it fluently. We also spoke Yiddish with Mama's family in Kopyl. We haven't forgotten the language and today it is still our mother tongue, the language we speak. My older brothers went to the Jewish elementary school.

I think there was more than one Jewish school in Slutsk before the war. Igor, the older one, finished three or four years in the Jewish school, and Boris, the middle brother, finished two grades. From what I remember, the Jewish schools in Slutsk were closed in 1938 or 1939, and the students went to Russian schools.

Mama and Grandmother raised us. We rarely saw our father. He went to work early in the morning and returned home late at night. However, we waited till Father came back home in the evening. We looked forward to his coming home, but he often came later than usual, and work was the usual excuse he had. We often went to bed before he had returned from work.

We rejoiced so much, when Father found some time for us. When Father came home from work, the three of us humped onto his neck. Father laughed at us, calling us his tank crew. We were very proud when he did. I remember my father well, though we have no photos of him. He was tall and slim. He was well loved and respected in Slutsk.

My father was very kind and helped many people. Some people in Slutsk, who are over 80, still remember Iosif Falevich. We didn't just love him. We adored him. Of course, we missed his love and care. When we grew older, our father started treating us more strictly. However, I was the youngest in the family, and my father spoiled me, paying more attention to me. In 1940 my younger brother Grigoriy was born.

We didn't celebrate Jewish holidays at home. I don't even remember if we celebrated birthdays. However, we did celebrate Soviet holidays: 1st May, 7th November [October Revolution Day] 6, and they were festive holidays. There were parades in Slutsk, and all enterprises participated in them. My brothers went to parades with the school.

I was too young for school, and my father, Mama and I went to parades with my father's colleagues. Mama gave us neatly ironed white shirts, and my older brothers wore their red pioneer neckties [see All-Union pioneer organization] 7. People were carrying flags, flowers and slogans.

The town was nicely decorated. There were red flags and slogans on red cloths. People were rejoicing and smiling. Everything was very festive, and patriotism and inspiration could be felt. People didn't come to parades to get an extra day off or following their management orders, but because their heart dictated them to be there. I think people were different then.

They were able to believe and knew how to rejoice. I particularly liked the 1st May holiday, because it was also my birthday. After the parade there were concerts and festivals. Mama made festive dinners and we had guests. Our relatives and my father's friends were visiting us. They danced and sang Soviet and Ukrainian songs, and it was a lot of fun.

In 1937, during the period of mass persecution in the USSR [see Great Terror] 8, my father was arrested. I was too young to understand what was going on, and all I know about it is what my mother and brothers told me. My father was arrested following a mendacious accusation. My mother didn't leave it at that.

She went to the district party committee and NKVD 9 office, and her effort was a success. My father was released two or three days later. We didn't know any details, which is natural, and we might never know any, but the most important thing was that my father was free, and was no longer accused of anything.

The officers found out that my father was belied and left him alone. He came from a poor family and was a dedicated member of the Party and it must have been true that there was no reason to persecute him. He wasn't even expelled from the Party, and no reprimand was issued to him.

Upon release my father was appointed to the position of director of the Slutsk guild of invalids 'Red Star.' This was a service provision enterprise. It included a shoe shop, a tailor's shop, and there were various services provided, including fixing and repair works. My father kept this position till the beginning of the Great Patriotic War.

I often visited him at work, and he gave me a ride in his car. I remember this. Of course, some of my father's acquaintances weren't so lucky, but really I was too young to take any notice of these occurrences. I know that my father was helping many people. When my father was director of Belplodoovoshsch, Voinilovich, a Belarusian man, whom my father knew, addressed him. In the early 1930s Voinilovich was dispossessed [see kulaks] 10 of his property and imprisoned.

When he was released, he came to see my father, telling him that he needed help and wanted a job. He couldn't find any job. Employers feared to employ a former prisoner. My father gave him a job as a worker, and he kept this job till before the war. Now I understand that my father was facing a risk, employing a former prisoner, an enemy of the people 11, and Voinilovich valued my father's attitude a lot. During the war Voinilovich and his family gave us a lot of support in the memory of my father, but I'm going to describe this later.

  • During the War

When in 1939 Hitler's army attacked Poland [see Invasion of Poland] 12, our family wasn't concerned. My father wasn't recruited to this war, and it was over when the Soviet troops came to Poland. Western Belarus was annexed to the USSR, and this gave us even more confidence in the strength and invincibility of the USSR. Probably, things weren't so quiet near the Belarusian border with Poland, but we lived in the rear of Belarus, and there were no Jewish refugees from Poland coming to our town.

They went past where we were: from Baranovichi to Minsk. Shortly after the war with Poland, the war with Finland [see Soviet-Finnish War (1939-40)] 13 began, and my father was recruited to the army. We were very much concerned about my father, but he returned home pretty soon. The war didn't last long, either. We were sure there would be no more wars, and Hitler realized he was no good at fighting the Soviet Union. Our family stayed calm.

Mama's sister Rishe also lived in Slutsk. She was married to Simche Ongiberg. Simche was a cabman, and Rishe was a housewife. I remember Rishe's husband well. He was an arrogant and showing-off man and always wanted to insist on his own ways. They had six children. The three older children's names were Lubov, Mikhail and Asia. I don't remember the other three. The oldest of the girls was a little older than me, and the others were younger. Rishe's family lived not far from where we lived, and we were friends with their children.

In spring 1941 the tension was growing in Slutsk. Even the children could feel it. There is a heating power plant in Slutsk. The boiler's stacks were high and could be seen from afar. We started seeing some weird strangers near the power plant. Even militiamen often chased them away. Pioneers and schoolchildren were taught to be observant at school and watch strangers, since they could be spies or diversionists.

We were on guard and could tell that those people were sort of looking for something. Adults also were suspicious about them. Our windows faced the plant, and we could see many things. These people were coming there more and more frequently. They looked like diversionists, but this subject wasn't allowed to be discussed aloud.

There was a ban on spreading rumors and having discussions that might cause panic. However, the town officials were discussing things like that. They knew there was something dangerous about them. My father knew more than the others, being a member of the district party committee. I don't know whether he shared what he knew with my mother, but he didn't mention this subject to his children.

The 22nd of June 1941 was a Sunday, one of those rare Sundays, when my father was at home. We were happy about it and were making plans for the day. We were in the garden, when one of our neighbors told us that Molotov 14 was going to speak on the radio. We rushed into the house, and were there just on time to hear the speech.

What he was saying was that the German/fascist invaders had attacked the Soviet Union without declaration of war. He also said that we were standing for the right deed and that we were going to win. A few minutes after his speech the German air force attacked Slutsk.

German bombers were heading to our power plant, but then our fighters fought them, and the bombers flew away after having dropped a few bombs. That day they caused no damage to the plant, but the town suffered losses. German bombers fired their automatic guns on the houses. There was an air fight right above our house.

We rushed into the garden hiding behind the trees. My friends and I ran under the car trailer with no wheels in our yard. When the fight was over, we went back into the house and saw that all portraits of members of the politburo had been knocked off from the walls by the fire burst. The broken glass pieces were all over the floor, and there were bullet holes in some portraits scattered on the floor. This was scary. This is how the war began for us.

On the first day of the war my father left us and went to the front. He was a tank man, a reserve lieutenant and commanding officer of a tank platoon. When we were saying 'good bye' to him, he said to Mama, 'Yulia, take care of the children!' He kissed us and went away. That was all.

This was the last time we saw him. We know very little about what happened to Father. My father's brother Yakov Falevich was a firefighter in Slutsk. When the fire brigade evacuated, Yakov happened to be in Mogilyov. Somebody told him that his younger brother Iosif was in hospital in Mogilyov.

Yakov found the hospital and our father was there. My father was there after he had been burnt in a tank in a battle. Yakov left him there and this is all information we have about our father. We have no idea where else he fought or where he died. At the end of the war we were notified that he was missing. At that time, if, for example, they couldn't identify a dead man on the battlefield, they identified him as a missing person.

It was two days after the war began when we decided it was time to leave Slutsk. We shouldn't have delayed our departure till it was too late. If we had left at the very beginning, we would have reached Bobruysk or Minsk, and then we would have had a different life. But then, what happened was what we had.

We left Slutsk on 24th June 1941. I remember Mama discussing this subject of departure with her sister and her husband. Grandmother Rieva bluntly refused to leave home. She said she was too old to change anything in her life and be whatever there would be. Mama and her sister took their time thinking and considering how we should leave everything behind and face the unknown future.

Rishe had six children and there were also four of us. Rishe's older children Lubov, Mikhail and Asia, and my older brother Igor decided to move ahead. The adults were still in the course of discussions until Rishe's husband finally harnessed his only horse, and we left.

There was a lot of luggage, though we only had the necessary clothes and some food for a start. The children were sitting in the wagon, and the adults walked beside it. We stopped every now and then to feed the horse and give it a chance to rest. The highway was bombed by German planes, and we took the back roads.

We reached Bobruysk on 27th June. It was quiet, and this was different. When we were on the way, there was never ending roar of firing and explosions, but not in the town. We came to the central street of the town and saw a German soldier sitting on a bench by a fence. Soviet troops blasted all bridges across the river after leaving the town. There was no way for us to move ahead, and we went back to Slutsk. On our way back Germans stopped us occasionally. They arrested Mama's sister's husband Simche, and we returned home without him. We never heard back from Simche. The Germans must have killed him. We returned to Slutsk. We reunited with Grandmother and settled down in Rishe's house.

Right from the start the Germans started arresting and killing communists, Komsomol members 15, and activists. On the first day they killed 26 people. The Germans didn't act on their own. There were traitors, who thought the Soviet regime had mistreated them. All this mud had come up.

They were former prisoners in jails or camps [Gulag] 16, or those who had been exiled and had been hiding their attitude towards the Soviets regime. These people served the Germans and worked in the police. They helped the Germans to make the lists and showed them the right houses where communists or Jews lived. This was the first time I heard the word 'zhyd.'

During the German occupation it became a steady part of our everyday life. We stayed at home as if it was a cage expecting to be arrested or killed. Everybody in Slutsk knew we were the family of a communist and that we were Jews. However, people helped us even in this critical situation. Some policemen knew and respected my father. They helped us to survive; otherwise we would have been killed.

There was a ghetto established in Slutsk in early July. There were military residential developments on Volodarskaya Street, not far from where my grandmother lived. The area was abandoned, but there were wooden barracks left. The policemen fenced the area with barbed wire, and established the first ghetto.

The first inmates were old people and women and children, ill and disabled people. Policemen made the rounds of houses, sending the tenants to the ghetto. Chief of police Afanasenko visited us. Afanasenko knew my father before the war. He was also in prison, and my father had his part in his imprisonment.

I don't remember whether my father was prosecutor or witness of the prosecution at the trial. All we knew was that Afanasenko wasn't the one to show us mercy. He asked our surname and tried to remember whether he knew this surname. There was another Falevich, a Jewish man. He had his right arm injured, and he was lame. Afanasenko remembered him and asked us whether we were the family of that very man. We shouted that, 'yes, we were.' Afanasenko made a sign to the policemen and they left.

We were taken to the ghetto. Jews were convoyed there like cattle. Nobody had any luggage. There was no time to pack. Rishe's family, my grandmother and Mama with three children came to the ghetto. There were 30-40 inmates in each barrack room. There wasn't sufficient place for all on the plank beds, and the other inmates had to find a space they could fit in.

There were old people, women and children in the ghetto. The men who could go to work stayed in town for the time being, unless they were communists or Komsomol members. Initially they took only those people to the ghetto that were subject to extermination. The memories of the ghetto are very hard, but I know that I have to talk about it for people to know what fascism was like and to prevent this horror from happening in the future.

Adults and teenagers had to go to work every day from the ghetto. My mother and twelve-year-old brother had to go to work every day, and my younger brother Grigoriy and I stayed with our grandmother and Aunt Rishe. My grandmother grew very weak in the ghetto. She stayed on her plank bed. I walked with other children around the ghetto. There were severe restrictions in the ghetto. The gates were guarded by policemen and Germans with weapons. Inmates went to work through this check point. Children were allowed to run around the ghetto with no restrictions.

I don't know whether we would have survived, if it hadn't been for the kind people supporting us. They brought potatoes, beetroots or even a piece of bread, some milk and cereals to the fence around the ghetto. They shared whatever little they had with us, though their children were no less hungry.

They knew they were going to get no compensation - where would we have got money from? We had nothing to offer these kind people, but they didn't do it for the money. There were many nice people. Voinilovich found us in the ghetto. He lived not far from the ghetto. He started visiting us, bringing some food and clothes and did whatever he could for us.

This man had a great heart. I believe he rescued us. He mentioned once that my father gave him a hand, when he was having a hard time, and that now he was glad to be helpful to us. He passed away a long time ago, and so did his wife Anna. Their son Edward, who is the same age as I, lives in Slutsk. We are childhood friends and we still see each other. I've mentioned Voinilovich as an example that a kind action is paid back one hundred times more than the effort it took. Goodness generates goodness, that's what life stands on.

Inmates of the ghetto had no warm clothes. We were given no time to pack when we left our homes. Fall brought cold weather. It was cold and hard in the ghetto, but those who had to go to work suffered more. The winter of 1941-42 was very cold. Inmates were freezing and dying from diseases or the cold.

Once Mama found a ragged cotton wool coat in the street and she wore it during the war. Voinilovich also brought us some old clothes. Mama's acquaintances gave her food, when she saw them in town. I stayed inside the barrack, having no warm clothes.

My brother, who had to go to work, wore a few rugged shirts and trousers. The boots had almost fallen apart, and inmates had to tie them with some rags and ropes to keep them from falling apart, and that was how it was. It's very hard to tell about what we lived through and saw. I've forgotten many facts: the human memory is made so that it keeps good memories and dumps the bad ones. However, when my brother and I start recalling how it was, we cannot really understand how we managed to survive. These are horrible things to recall.

Mama and my brother had to clean the streets and apartments where the Germans and policemen were staying. They were also involved in loading activities. One day in October 1941 they were sent to clean barracks in the military quarters at the entrance to Slutsk. This military area was to be prepared for the arrival of German military units.

They had to remove broken pieces of furniture from barracks, clean them and wash windows and floors. All of a sudden they were brought together and ordered to run back to the ghetto across the town. Nobody explained to them what the rush was all about.

I was wandering about the ghetto with other children. There was a smaller building housing a kitchen in the yard, and inmates could cook there if they had things to cook. We ran into this kitchen, when policemen came inside. They kicked us out of the kitchen and took us back to the barrack.

Then the inmates were ordered to leave the barracks. They were encircled by German soldiers and policemen, who sorted them out by lists, segregating the weakest inmates, women with babies, who couldn't go to work. The inmates were divided into two groups. I ran to my mother and she held me tight. A German soldier called the name, the person came out of the crowd, and the soldiers assessed the person telling him or her, which group they should join.

Then they called the name of the man, standing beside us. I don't remember his name, but I remember that he was a tailor. He was sent to those that were to live. When they told him where to go, he took Mama and me by our hands and took us with him.

Then the group in which my brother Boris was returned from work. Boris saw us in the group of inmates who were to live and tried to get through to us. Our rescuer told the German soldier, responsible for sorting people out, that Boris was his son, and the soldier allowed him to join us. My grandmother and little Grigoriy stayed in the group to be exterminated.

This was happening before our eyes. The doomed ones were taken onto trucks. My grandmother couldn't climb the truck. Policemen took her by her feet and hands and threw her into the truck. They did it to all those, who couldn't get there on their own. When all inmates were there, they were taken to the place where they were to die. The others were ordered to go back to the barracks.

The doomed ones were taken to the Selishche ravine eight kilometers from Slutsk. ?here was a beautiful birch grove there. The pits were already there, and the people were killed in this ravine. Some died immediately, and others were buried alive. There are few such graves there. In the 1990s our Jewish community, supported by the Slutsk executive committee [Ispolkom] 17, installed a monument to innocent victims on one grave.

There is an engraving on the black marble, reading 'To the memory of the living.' We visit the place every year on the anniversary of the shooting. We clean up the place and bring flowers. There is a chicken farm in the vicinity, and its employees take care of the graves, and local schoolchildren also help them.

I have another horrific memory associated with that day. During the sorting process an open car drove into the ghetto. There was a tall and handsome German man sitting in it. He stopped the car, watching silently for some time, and then stood up in the car and addressed us in Russian, 'What sin could you, Jews, have done to be killed so mercilessly?' He had a 'God be with us' sign on his uniform cap. This was terrifying. Then we were ordered to go back to the barracks.

Life in the ghetto followed its usual routine, when all of a sudden, in April 1942, a policeman, who had known my father before the war, came to the ghetto, approached my mother and said to her, 'Yulia, you'll be done with tomorrow. You must run away.' He helped us to escape. We went back to Aunt Rieva's house and settled down there. The following day the inmates were taken to the Selishche ravine where they were killed. Mama's sister Rishe and her children were killed then. We survived, and again, kind people helped us.

There were still Jews in Slutsk, and the Germans established another ghetto in the center of Slutsk, not far from the building of the executive committee. This neighborhood was called Shkolische before the war. This was a Jewish neighborhood with adjoining wooden huts. There was Respublikanskaya Street and Paris Commune Street that formed the neighborhood called Shkolische.

The area was fenced with barbed wire and there was always a guard at the gate. All the remaining Jewish population was taken to this ghetto. They were chased away from their homes, and there were three thousand of them taken into the ghetto that time.

When we came to the ghetto, we managed to settle down in a small wooden house with 40 tenants in it already. The Germans established the Jewish committee [Judenrat] 18, to manage life in the ghetto. I remember the chairman of the Jewish committee. I didn't know his surname, but I can still see him before my eyes: he was a tall man with his head shaved, wearing the breeches type of trousers, boots and walking with a stick.

It goes without saying that the Jewish committee couldn't care less about the inmates of the ghetto. All they cared about was their well-being. All inmates of the ghetto were bound to wear yellow hexagonal stars pined to their clothes. People wearing such stars weren't supposed to walk on pavements.

We, boys, used to run away from the ghetto every now and then. We left our stars behind and ran away through a trap-way. What we saw in the town was horrifying. There were wooden gallows posts installed along the central street in Slutsk, a circa 200-meter stretch along the street, and there were always dead bodies hanging on them. People were hanged for whatever fault, and not only Jews.

People were hanged even for trying to give a piece of bread or some flour to inmates of the ghetto. Jews were hanged, if they were noticed walking without a star. The gallows made a horrible sight, and we returned to the ghetto exhausted by what we had seen. I really don't know how our children's hearts could bear all this!

I will tell you another episode of our life in the ghetto. It is imprinted on my memory. This is one of the most horrifying memories. I would be happy to forget, but this scene is just there before my eyes. The boys were running around the ghetto. We were in the Paris Commune Street. Aunt Rishe's husband's relatives lived in this street. I think that was his aunt.

This woman's daughter-in-law was sitting on the porch breastfeeding her baby, when two German soldiers came around. They were walking along the street looking inside the houses. They came along to the house where the woman was sitting with her baby. The Germans approached her. One of them took her baby from her and threw it aside like a log.

Then he kneeled before this woman and tried the milk from her breast. He must have liked it, because he started sucking her breast till it was empty. The baby was screaming all this time. There were five of us standing still there. We were shocked and couldn't move. Another German soldier was standing there waiting. The one that was sucking the breast stood up, brushed off the dust from his knees and burst into laughter. They left, and we were standing there for a long time before we could move.

The Germans started building four houses not far from the ghetto. They made the pits and started working on the foundations. All men from the ghetto worked at this construction site. They were forced to carry gravestones from the Jewish cemetery for the foundations. There was a Jewish cemetery a few kilometers from the site before the war.

Men were to carry those huge and heavy granite and marble slabs, and moreover, they had to run carrying them. Policemen or the Germans were following them, and when one of them stopped, they whipped him on his head, neck or back. If a man fell and couldn't stand on his feet, they killed him. These houses are still there, standing on Jewish gravestones, and the cemetery was eliminated.

The inmates of the ghetto also had to do other work. They were taken to farther sites by trucks. When they returned, there were a few missing. Occasionally, they sorted out families with many children, weak and ill inmates and drove them away on two or three trucks. None of them ever came back. Conditions of living in the ghetto were severe. Life was easier in summer.

At least, we didn't suffer from the cold. In winter we tried to take advantage of any chance to warm ourselves up. We broke furniture or fences for wood: anything to stoke the stoves. We weren't allowed to pick wood anywhere outside and had to do with what we had at hand. However, we ran out of this opportunity pretty soon.

Mama went to work at the power plant. The power plant operated on turf produced at the turf factory in Slutsk. The factory also dried the turf supplied to our boiler. Turf was delivered by rail from Radichevo to Slutsk. Mama worked at the loading/unloading ramp at the factory. She also took my brother and me to work. We were digging the turf with sharp knives.

The knives were so heavy that I could hardly hold one, but there was no alternative to it. We were working at turf quarries standing knee-high in water. We loaded turf sheets onto the train that was called 'cuckoo' train and sat on top. Then we unloaded the turf at the boiler and went back to Radichevo.

In the evening we delivered the turf back to Slutsk and returned to the ghetto. It was a lot of luck that Mama had this job, since they only involved strong men, prisoners-of-war, in these operations. There were also Jewish men working there, and Mama was acquainted with them.

In August 1942 one Jewish prisoner-of-war told Mama that they were plotting an escape to the woods from Radichevo where they were hoping to find partisans. This man promised Mama that the three of us would also join them. They were planning an escape for the end of August. On the set date we arrived at Radichevo and found out that the group had already gone leaving us behind.

This was mean of them, to do this to us. We had to think it over. When working at the turf factory, Mama met a woman from the village of Ulanovo near Radichevo. This woman, Uliana, also worked at the factory. Uliana told Mama to find a way to get to her house in the village, and then she would try to take us to the woods, but at that time Mama decided it was better for us to run away with those men to eliminate any risk for Uliana.

After the men were gone, Uliana was our last hope. Mama found her in Radichevo and told her our story. Uliana said she would think about what to do. In the evening we went to Uliana's home. This was Sunday. In the evening my mother and Uliana ran a bath for my brother and me and shaved our heads.

On Sunday morning Uliana brought embroidered shirts that farmers used to wear, and we put them on. Mama also put on a peasant dress and a white kerchief that Belarusian women wore. Uliana harnessed the horse, and we climbed the wagon and moved on. We were riding in the middle of the day and nobody paid any attention. We stopped every now and then to feed the horse or have some water to drink. People were going back from the church and there were policemen all around, drinking and enjoying themselves.

We reached the woods in Kopyl district before dark. Uliana halted the horse and told us this was the farthest she could take us and that she had to go back home. So she left wishing us good luck. It was dark and we didn't know the way in the woods. Uliana gave us some food. We went farther into the woods and had a meal.

Then we picked some pine tree branches for makeshift beds and fell asleep. We had to sleep over it, in order to know what to do. At dawn we heard some noise and people's voices. We took shelter in the bushes and watched. We saw men with guns and a woman among them. We knew they were partisans and approached them. They encircled us and asked us where we came from.

The woman asked Mama our surname. When she heard it was Falevich, she asked if Mama was Falevich's wife. This woman happened to be the secretary of the district party committee of Slutsk and she had known my father well. Then the partisans felt easier about us knowing that we hadn't been sent by the Germans. So we joined the partisan unit and were free.

Mama joined the unit, but it was not for my brother and me to be there. There were civil refugee family camps a few kilometers from the partisan unit. My brother and I were sent to this camp. People in the camp had escaped from the Germans and left their villages. When people in the villages heard about the German raids, they escaped to the woods, and partisans took them under their protection. The camps were located five to ten kilometers from partisan bases. There was communication established since the Germans could attack any time.

People in the camp made earth huts and tents from pine branches. They also had pine and fur tree branches on the floors to keep their lodgings warm. My brother and I made a fire, and when the ground was warm enough, we put the fire down, covered the ground with pine tree branches and slept on them before we learned to make an earth hut.

We also covered ourselves with branches to keep warm. Food was a bigger problem. In fall and winter we looked for potatoes in the fields left after harvesting. In fall potatoes were all right, but they were frozen in winter. We also begged for food in villages. Some people gave us food and others chased us away. My brother and I always knew the whereabouts of the partisan unit, and occasionally we managed to get there to see Mama. We needed to be close to her and she needed us...

About a year passed. In 1943 the leadership of Kopyl district decided to send us across the frontline to the rear on a plane. The partisans helped us to get to the partisan air field in Luban district, Minsk region. It was a long distance away. We walked from Kopyl district across the woods and swamps to Luban district. It was over 200 kilometers away.

This was a very hard trip, but we managed. However, then the leadership decided it was unreasonable to take such high risk for the sake of one family, and we stayed in Luban district. There were no family camps there, though there were partisan units. We lived in villages trying to be closer to partisan units. We lived in the villages of Kalinovka and Polichin. This was a partisan controlled area, and Germans were rare there. The locals knew who we were, but nobody reported on us to the Germans.

So we lived there until March 1944, when the Germans started to blockade this area. The villagers were running away taking whatever shelter they could find. Mama, we and three locals were hiding away in the bushes in a swamp. We had no food or water for five days. The Germans were finishing their blockade.

They marched in a row across the woods and the swamp, when they came across us. They captured us and took us to a village with irrigation channels on the swamp. We were exhausted, hungry and thirsty. We stayed in the village. There were Germans in the village, and there was no way to escape.

We sat there and then I could bear it no longer and told Mama I would ask the Germans for a piece of bread. Mama didn't mind. We had nothing to lose. I approached a group of five or six Germans. They were sitting around the fire having dinner. They were having tinned meat and cocoa. I can still remember the smell of this cocoa.

I approached them with the words, 'Mister, give me some bread!' They could understand the words bread, milk or eggs. They looked at me. Of course, I didn't look well. One of them went to their tent and brought a loaf and a half of bread that he gave me. He also poured some cocoa into his pot. I returned to Mama and my brother and we feasted. We could have half a loaf of bread each plus cocoa. We had dinner, cuddled up and fell asleep.

In the early morning we were ordered to get up and move to Kalinovka where the German staff was located. About six of us were taken to a house and ordered to stand with our faces to the wall. I saw that Boris took a piece of bread from his pocket and started eating it. I don't know how long we were standing like this before the German soldier told us to turn. We saw that there were Vlasov 19 soldiers in the house besides the Germans. We got scared. Vlasov soldiers were said to be more cruel and merciless than the Germans. A Vlasov soldier came in with a rope in his hand.

We knew this was the end and they would hang us, but instead, they started asking where we came from and how we happened to be in the swamp. We were telling them stories, of course, since we couldn't possibly tell them the truth. We were convoyed to Polichin, another village, where we were taken to a house stuffed with people. They were people from this and other villages.

There was no space left to even stand there. When we heard that this was Polichin, we got scared. We used to live in this village, and the villagers knew us and knew that Yulia's family was hiding from the Germans. However, again nobody reported on us, neither in Polichin nor back in Kalinovka. They could have easily whispered a word to a policeman that we were Jewish, being evil or just seeking favor, but none of them did.

The Germans left us in this hut and walked away. All those in the hut probably had just one thought knowing that this was probably our last night and we would be killed in the morning. This was a long and painful night. At dawn we were surprised by the silence. There were no steps or voices heard. Those who were stronger moved closer to the window. Everything was very still. We walked outside. There were no guards around. We knew we were free. The villagers ran back to their houses.

We returned to the old man and the old woman we had stayed with in Polichin before. We stayed there till Slutsk was liberated by the Soviet troops on 30th June 1944. We left Polichin for Kalinovka and saw our troops moving from the area of Mozyr. The Germans were no longer holding the blockade of Slutsk since our armies were advancing.

On the highway a military truck heading to Slutsk gave us a lift. On 3rd July 1944 we got off the truck on the main street in Slutsk near the government building. The moment we got off a German plane appeared all of a sudden and dropped a few bombs before flying away.

The war was over for us, and for the most part, it was not too bad for us thanks to my father. He did a lot of good to people, and they were helping us in the memory of my father. These people helped us to survive, and even policemen were helping us. Yes, these policemen were our neighbors before the war, and they knew my father and remembered that he had been of service to them.

None of them reported on us or told the Germans that we were the family of a communists and a Jewish man. The phrase 'Beauty will save the world' is very popular nowadays, but I disagree. I get angry hearing this. Kindness, not beauty, will save the world. If you do a good thing for a person, it will come back a hundred times to you. My father probably knew this, and his kindness saved our family.

The town was ruined, almost all of it. Lenin Street, the main street in Slutsk stretching all across the town, was in ruins. One could see the street from one end to another, see the destruction and everything the Germans had done. Slutsk burned down twice: when the German troops were advancing and when they were retreating.

The houses were wooden for the most part, and hardly any of them survived the fire. It's interesting that 11th July Street, where Mama's sister Rishe's house was, was hardly destroyed. All houses were there except Rishe's house, which must have been set on fire on purpose. Somebody must have known there were heirs to it. Hers was the only house in the street that had burnt down.

We were thinking of it as our temporary lodging, but there were only ashes that we saw, when we came there. After the war Rishe's daughters and son returned, but alas... They stood there by the site of the fire for some time before they left the place.

Mama went to the district committee that was already open to find out if there was news from Falevich. We had no information about my father or my older brother Igor. All of a sudden Mama was told that there was a letter from Falevich at the district committee. When they wanted to find it, it wasn't there. It just vanished into thin air. Somebody must have torn and thrown it away, and that was it. They never found it. We left the district committee feeling very sad. There was no information about my father or brother and we had no place to live. We stopped in the square and didn't know where to go, when this woman we knew approached us.

She lived near Aunt Rishe and her name was Pasha. She invited us to her house. She said since we had no house of our own, she could share hers with us till we found a place to live. She gave us shelter and shared whatever food she had. Mama kept visiting the party district committee and the municipal executive committee requesting a place to live until they finally gave us one room in the house where the owner was still in evacuation. The 3rd secretary of the Slutsk district party committee was accommodated in two other rooms of this shared [communal] apartment 20. We celebrated Victory Day, 9th May 1945, in this apartment.

This was so much joy, and a true holiday in the town. People came out into the streets rejoicing, hugging each other and crying. There was a monument to Lenin in the center of Slutsk, in front of the executive committee. When the Germans occupied Slutsk, they pulled the monument down, but the pedestal was still there. It was decorated with red banners and flowers on 9th May, and in the evening people danced and sang there.

When we were in the partisan unit, we heard about what happened to the second ghetto in Slutsk that we had left. Few people survived: the ones who left the ghetto and joined the partisans. They told us what they had seen. When we returned to Slutsk, local residents, eye-witnesses, told us the whole story in detail.

The ghetto was scheduled for elimination in February 1943. Fascists and policemen encircled the ghetto from all sides. The Latvian SS Legion 21 arrived there to be involved in the elimination. The inmates were ordered to get on trucks to be delivered to the shooting site. The inmates were actually prepared for this. I can't imagine where they got weapons, but they happened to be quite armed. When the Germans came to the ghetto, they were met with firing from houses and roofs. The inmates of the ghetto decided to charge a high price for their lives. There were several Germans and policemen killed.

The German units retreated and set the houses on fire from all sides. The houses were burning like candles, but people continued to shoot. They were dying while on fire, jumped from windows and roofs, but kept firing. They were fired at as well and fell dead from the roofs. The people who were doomed to die didn't want to die resignedly.

They decided to resist. They knew they wouldn't be able to kill all Germans and escape, but they didn't want to die like cattle to be slaughtered. There were screams heard from all houses. Women and children were burning alive. This lasted for three days. Three days the ghetto was on fire.

The dead bodies of inmates of the ghetto were there till the snow melted. The Germans didn't allow burying them. The Germans also had taken some inmates away to shoot them beyond the borders of the ghetto. The ones in the ghetto were there till spring. When the snow melted, the Germans allowed local residents to bury them. They were buried in the former ghetto in the center of Slutsk.

My older brother Igor found us. We received his letter and started corresponding with him. Igor was in evacuation with Rishe's older children. They went to some place in Stalingrad region, and when German troops started advancing, they moved to Central Asia. From there Igor was regimented to the front in 1944. After the war Igor wasn't demobilized, but stayed for mandatory service in the army. He served in Lithuania. So we knew where and how he was doing. Igor returned to Slutsk after his demobilization in 1950.

When we were already living in our new apartment, Mama received notification that my father was missing. We didn't lose hope that we would find him, but this hope was vanishing in the course of years. Since I was underage, I received a small pension for my deceased father, which I was to receive till I turned 18.

This was all the income the family had. Life was hard after the war, and this money was far from enough to cover all expenses. Mama couldn't work. She became very ill after we returned. It goes without saying that the sufferings and everything we had gone through, including hard work at the turf factory, often involving standing knee-deep in water, were the cause for this. It often happened that Mama couldn't leave her bed for days in a row. My brother and I had to take care of ourselves and Mama.

  • Post-war

In September 1944 a school was opened in Slutsk. The former school building had burnt down, and another house was used to house the school. I went to the first grade. I wasn't the only overage pupil in my class. There were many others like me. Our teachers knew how much we had missed and did their best to help us catch up with the curriculum.

We covered the curriculum of two grades in one year, and in fall 1945 I went to the third grade. We started studying German in the third grade. I thought it was weird. The war had just ended and the Germans had caused so much grief for us, and then we were to learn their language? In protest I just ignored the subject and didn't attend German classes. However, this didn't cause much trouble. The teachers showed understanding to my attitude.

My brother had finished five or six grades before the war, but when he returned home, there was no chance for him to continue his studies. He had to think about earning money for the family. Boris became an apprentice to a locksmith at the Slutsk foundry. He was 15 then. The three of us had to make do with my miserable monthly allowance and the stipend of an apprentice.

These were hard years; even the memory of them is horrible. When my brother went to the army in 1949 life became even harder. Our main product was potatoes, but then we didn't always have it. In the morning the unheated house was as cold as a cellar. I got up early to stoke the stove. Whenever we had potatoes, I used to boil some in their skin.

I gave Mama her breakfast, put a potato into my pocket and rushed to school. It often happened that I ate the potato before I reached my school, and then I had nothing to eat at school and was hungry. Mama was also hungry at home. On my way home from school I was thinking of whatever food I could give to Mama and what I would eat myself. There was no hope for the better or any opportunity to earn some money. I don't know how Mama and I lived through these years before Boris returned.

When my brother returned home, he didn't even take a day's rest. When he saw how we lived, he was terrified. The following day he went to the plant he used to work at. When I finished school in 1953, Boris went to the evening school, and quit his studies after finishing the eighth grade. He never gave up his job at the plant where he worked 50 years less three-year service in the army.

My brother and I were raised to be patriots of our country. We were Soviet children: the pioneer organization, Komsomol and the Party were sacred to us. I was an active pioneer at school. When I turned 14 in 1948, I joined the Komsomol. I was an activist at school. I was an active member of the Komsomol committee of my school.

[Editor's note: Komsomol units existed at all educational and industrial enterprises. They were headed by Komsomol committees involved in organizational activities.]

I've never lost my child's love of Soviet holidays. Even after the war, during this hard and hungry period, our country and our town celebrated Soviet holidays like we used to do it before the war. I always went to parades with my school on holidays. I can still remember how overwhelmed with joy I was, when I marched in the column of parade makers, and there were flowers and flags around, and the sound of appeals:

'Long live the Soviet pioneeria and the Komsomol!' I remember how wonderful this was! This was great, beautiful, active and patriotic! Even now, when people of my generation get together and recall these parades on 1st May, October holidays, and Victory Day 22, tears fill our eyes. The people were living in it spiritually, and this was passed on from one year to the next. This was wonderful, just wonderful!

In 1948 the campaign against 'cosmopolitans' 23 began, and anti-Semitism became apparent. People were changing. I didn't quite know these people before the war, but I understand that they changed at the end of the war, and the next stage was after the war. There was a lot of talking about cosmopolitism, but smart people understood what was going on, while the fools accepted it from the positions it was presented to them: these Jews, what else could one expect from them!

However, this was the adult world, while we, children, didn't care much about it. We had our own problems to deal with. When the period of the Doctors' Plot 24 began, this was a noted case, schoolchildren were also aware of it. All of us were Soviet people and we were the followers of Stalin. All were indignant about those who dared to raise their hands on our Stalin. I remember the day of 5th March 1953, when we heard about Stalin's death.

Our school gathered in the conference hall. Everybody was crying, making no effort to conceal the grief; teachers and schoolchildren were wiping away their tears. It was so fearful to be left without Stalin that we had a feeling that this was the end of the world. This was so sincere that one would even lack words to describe how hard we took it. It was a terrible loss for me, too.

Our relatives returned to Slutsk after the war. Rishe's older children Lubov, Mikhail and Asia returned. My father's older brother Yakov and his family returned from the evacuation. He lived in Slutsk with his children, and only Raisa lived on Sakhalin [Island, in the sea of Okhotsk, about 9,000 km east of Moscow] with her husband. Uncle Yakov died about 15 years ago [1990].

He had a tumor on his neck, and he died. They lived near us. When he died, we went there and helped to bathe and dress him. His children, except Ludmila, have passed away. She still lives in Slutsk. Mama's parents died in the ghetto in Kopyl during the war. Asia is the only one living of Aunt Rishe's family. She lives in America now. Lubov died in Israel recently. Mikhail left Slutsk for Kharkov [today Ukraine] after the war. He died a long time ago.

After finishing school I entered the Finance and Economics College in Minsk. After my first year there I was regimented to the army. I was entitled to continue my studies after my mandatory service in the army. I served in Uzbekistan, at the Soviet-Afghani border in Termez settlement. I did very well in the army. Everything was fine. I was assistant commander of a platoon. There were 30 of us in the platoon.

I went in for sports in the army: sprint, football and handball. My supervisors favored me. There were no complaints or demonstrations of anti-Semitism during my service. I joined the Party in 1955, and went to study at the evening party school 25. I was elected a member of the regiment party committee. I have nothing to complain about. Everything was just right. I would wish everybody to have such smooth army service as I did.

The only burden was the climate. Termez was known as the hottest spot in the Soviet Union. The splitting summer heat was hard to bear. This was the only saddening thing at the time. In 1956 I was granted a month's leave and went to Slutsk. I got married during this leave, and I was a married man when I returned to my unit.

I've known Dora Liefshiz, my wife, since school. We were in the same class and we were friends. Dora was a Jew and also came from Slutsk. Dora's father, Boris Liefshiz, was a notary in Slutsk, and her mother, Hana Liefshiz, was an accountant at the Zagotzerno grain stocks company. Dora's older sister Galina was born in 1927. Dora was born in 1933.

During the war Dora's family evacuated to Kazakhstan. After the war they returned to Slutsk. After school Dora also entered the Minsk College of Finance and Economics. When I was in the army, Dora and I corresponded and sent pictures to one another. When I came on leave, we registered our marriage at the registry office and arranged a modest dinner for our close ones. One month's leave flew by and I went back to my military unit.

I returned from the army in 1957, worked till the academic year began, and in 1958 resumed my studies in the college. Dora had finished college before I did. She returned to Slutsk. She worked as an accountant. Our older son Boris was born in 1958. Slutsk is not far from Minsk, and I visited my family on weekends. I finished college in 1961.

I had a job appointment [see mandatory job assignment in the USSR] 26 to Slutsk. I worked as a dispatcher at the motor depot in Slutsk for about six months, and in November 1961 I went to work as an economist at the Slutsk Municipal Financial Department where I worked for eleven years. I was deputy department manager and department manager. In 1962 our second son was born. We gave him the name of Grigoriy after my younger brother who died in the ghetto in Slutsk. I finished another evening party school at the district party committee in Slutsk.

I was a communist, when the Twentieth Party Congress 27 was held. Initially, the speech by Khrushchev 28 in which he denounced Stalin wasn't published in newspapers. It was only read at closed party meetings. So, I knew what it was about before other people got to know about it. Of course, it was a surprise for all of us.

I wouldn't say I took every word Khrushchev said seriously. I was cautious about it. It's hard to say anything unambiguous about it. We, common communists, knew little about what was actually happening in the country. Therefore, I cannot give my assessment of how fair Khrushchev was about Stalin. One thing I can say is this: people keep saying that if Stalin was alive, there would be power and order, and the Soviet Union would be a strong and powerful state. Whatever there was, the events of the Twentieth Party Congress didn't shatter my attitude towards the Communist Party. I have always been an honest communist.

Our family couldn't share one room with Mama. We lived in a small wooden house that belonged to Dora's parents. The living area was about 20 square meters, and it was shared by six tenants. We enrolled in the queue for apartments at the executive committee, but it was such at the time that the priority was given to those, who had no place to live whatsoever.

Our house was small, damp and tumbledown. There was mould everywhere caused by dampness. There was even mould on the clothes in the wardrobe. There was no sufficient space to sleep or breathe. In 1963 an inspection commission from the executive committee visited us to inspect our living conditions. They looked at where we lived, and soon we received an apartment in a new building near the center.

Mama received an apartment in the house next to ours. I received the key to our new apartment, and when my wife and I came there, we started crying from joy. After we moved in there, we were overfilled with joy for a long time. I often went to see Mama. I supported her as much as I could.

My wife and I were working and raising our sons. We wanted to have a daughter very much, and we thought that we would have one, when our younger son grew a little older, but we didn't dare to have another child. Life was hard, and we decided that we had to raise our two sons, at least. I was raising my sons like my father had raised my brothers and me, to be true Soviet children.

They grew up to become good Soviet citizens. I'm very happy with what has become of them. They were members of the Party and dedicated communists before the breakup of the USSR [in 1991]. My wife and I spoke Yiddish at home. Our sons cannot speak it, but they can understand the language. I think it is very important that the Yiddish language is a living language in our family.

I felt the need to continue my education, since my education was no longer sufficient. I entered the extramural department of the Belarus Agricultural Academy, the Faculty of Economics. I went to Minsk to pass my exams twice a year. It wasn't easy to study, but I didn't fear hardships. I haven't been spoiled since childhood. After finishing my studies I received a diploma.

I have no complaints about the Soviet regime. The Soviet regime gave me an opportunity to study at college and the Agricultural Academy, and in evening party schools. Education was free of charge for all then. I also held good positions and had positive records at work. The regime gave us an apartment and a decent life.

In 1971 I left the executive committee. The chairman of the executive had left, and a new one was appointed to replace him. I was to be appointed financial manager of the executive committee, but the Chairman didn't approve me for this position. I had an argument with him before. The secretary of our party organization had quit and I was acting secretary.

The chairman recommended an incumbent for this position at the portback election meeting of the committee. Half of the staff voted for this new incumbent and the other half voted for me, and the chairman of the executive committee told me we wouldn't get along. I decided to quit.

This had nothing to do with my national identity. It was just this incident. I went to work at the construction trust. I started in the position of planning department economist and later I was promoted to financial manager of the trust. From there I was promoted to planning manager, and assistant trust manager for economics. In 1995 I retired at the age of almost 62.

My oldest brother, Igor, didn't stay long in Slutsk after his demobilization. He was proposed to marry a Jewish girl from Osipovichi, a Belarusian town. Igor married her and moved to Osipovichi. He had a son. His name was Yefim. Igor had no education and was a construction worker. They left Osipovichi for Slutsk, and some time later they moved to Minsk. From Minsk they moved to Israel and settled down in Nathania.

My second brother, Boris, lived in Slutsk. When I was in the army, he married Zina, a Belarusian girl that came from Slutsk. My brother had two children. His older son Iosif, named after our father, is the same age as my older son, and his daughter Maria is the same age as our younger son. There's a couple of months' difference between them. Boris has three grandchildren.

Iosif is married to Galina, a Russian woman. They have two daughters. The older one is Tatiana, and the younger one is Anna. Maria married a Jewish guy. Her marital name is Kulesh. Maria has a daughter. Recently Maria and her family moved to Israel. I hope they will manage well. My brother and his wife live in Slutsk.

My brother is very ill. He used to be a strong and healthy man, but life has overburdened him so much that he is fearful to look at. There is nothing to do about it. This is what life is like... There is only he and I of our family left in Slutsk. Mama died in 1986.

After finishing school my older son Boris entered the Heat Engineering Faculty of the Belarusian Polytechnic Institute in Minsk, currently the Belarusian National Technical University. Upon graduation my son got a job assignment to Latvia. I can't remember which town it was. Boris worked as a mechanic and then as director of a weaving mill. Before his departure to Latvia he married a girl from Slutsk. They were school-friends. My daughter- in-law, Yelena, is Russian, but what does it matter? It is important that they love each other and get along well. They have two sons. 

The older, Alexey, was born in 1983, and Oleg was born in 1985. They were born in Latvia. My grandchildren are true Latvian citizens. They studied in a Latvian school and speak the Latvian language. They are students now. My son is commercial director of a company, and his wife works in a trade company. She monitors the trade sites of her company. This is all I know about her job.

Life in Latvia became more difficult after the breakup of the USSR, but my son and his family have no complaints about life. They learned the Latvian language and passed their language exams. They've obtained the Latvian residence permit. They've lived in Latvia for 36 years. My son and his family are happy with their life in Latvia and have no intention to leave it. They visit us once or twice a year, and I can see that they are doing well. God grant them everything good in the future: when the children are happy, their parents are always happy about it.

After finishing the tenth grade in Slutsk, my younger son Grigoriy entered the Higher Military Financial College. After finishing the College he moved from one military unit to another in the USSR. He was a military financier and also served in the Soviet army regiment in Germany. After returning from Germany he served in Belarus.

Now my son is senior lecturer at the Military Faculty of the Department of Finance of the Belarusian National Technical University. He is a lieutenant colonel. Grigoriy is married. His wife Lilia is Russian. They have two sons. Their older son, Boris, was born in 1986. The younger, Alexandr, was born in 1988. They are students at university. So our surname of Falevich shall not vanish.

My four grandchildren have inherited it. Grigoriy cannot visit us often. He has his job and his life, but he calls us almost every day. He cares about us and supports us as much as he can. Even a kind word is a good support for parents. I'm happy that my sons have their own way in life and that my wife and I have our part in it. Our sons also get along well with one another.

When the Jewish state of Israel was established in 1948, I was too young to realize the significance of this event. Later, when the Soviet Union terminated all diplomatic relations with Israel, I also had a rather reserved attitude thereto. However, when I saw that this country was getting stronger and kept improving despite everything, I changed my attitude.

The state is a state. If there is the Jewish people, why shouldn't they have a Jewish state? Of course, I wish this country were not surrounded by hostile neighbors. Now that our older brother, his son's family and my brother Boris' daughter and her family live in Israel, Boris and I often talk about this country, and we are concerned about the life of Israel and its people. It's not by hearsay that we know about the horrors of war, and we are very concerned about Israel and our relatives.

Whatever country surrounding Israel you take, they are against Israel. This is alarming. There is some balance while America supports Israel. If it weren't for this support, nobody would know what it might end with. Of course, one can never tell what's going to be, but I think that Israel of today is a seriously developing state having its scientific and military potential.

Besides, an Israeli state is a guarantee of support to many Jewish people living in the former Soviet Union. Israel means protection of Jewish interests by our state. There are frequent demonstrations of anti- Semitism in some CIS countries nowadays. There were attacks on the synagogue in Moscow and in Riga. Israel responds sharply to this speaking out its protest and making statements. It's a good thing to do.

In the 1970s Jews were allowed to leave the USSR for Israel. Since then many Jews left Slutsk for Israel. There were fewer Jews left in Slutsk after the war, but there was still about one third of their prewar number. According to the statistics, there were only 165 Jews left in Slutsk in 2002. Many Jews have left, and older people died. There are few of us left here.

Many people condemned the Jews that decided to leave the USSR. I didn't approve of the people leaving their own country where they were born and grew up, and the country that gave them education and cared for them. I didn't consider departure for this very reason. I couldn't understand those who were committed to make this step.

However, later, when Jews started moving to Germany besides Israel and the USA, I changed my attitude towards those who left for Israel. I told myself that it was better that they moved to Israel, rather than moving to fascist Germany, this country that had caused so much grief to us. I cannot imagine, how I, a person who had seen all horrors of fascism and had suffered from them could move to Germany now, particularly in view of the fact that fascists started raising their heads there, and I'm personally very much concerned about it.

How can Jews venture to make this step? Whoever tried to explain this to me, I would disagree with whoever that is. There is an association of former underage prisoners of fascist concentration camps and ghettos. And there, the chairman of this association has moved to Germany. He was a skilled surgeon and a respected man here. And he gave it all up and left for Germany. Who can explain to me what he was driven by? I cannot forgive this, and I shall not forgive anybody.

Therefore, I believe that if Jews decide to leave their Motherland, I'd rather they went to Israel. Even though there is nothing sweet there and they have to adjust and find their place in the new life.

My niece Maria, Boris' daughter, left for Israel a couple of months ago. She attends a course of Ivrit. She attends to two lonely women. She doesn't earn a lot of money, but it is still some support for the family. It is no shame to do any job, only one must know how important and needed it is.

Our older brother has lived longer in Israel. He is doing well. He is a war veteran and has been granted benefits. Igor hasn't worked one day there, but he receives a sufficient pension and has an apartment. It is true that pensioners have a good life in Israel. It's too bad that my brother is alone there.

Four months ago his wife died after a severe and lasting disease. His son and his family live elsewhere. After his wife's death Igor's son Yefim visited Slutsk. He came to see us and told us about the life of the family in Israel. He also brought photographs. Igor looks well, at least in his pictures, and he feels all right. Being our age, one comes to understand that health is the most important thing.

I didn't face any anti-Semitism during the Soviet regime. I got secondary and higher and special education, and both times I entered the educational institutions on the first try. I studied in party schools, was a party member and held important positions. I never kept my Jewish identity a secret, and it never impeded my life or career.

Of course, there was everyday anti-Semitism, and it appeared in the postwar time. When the Germans were here, it was allowed to exterminate Jews besides abusing them. This penetrated into some people's consciousness. Of course, I faced anti- Semitism, but I never kept quiet when hearing abuses.

Once I even hit a man on his face for calling me a zhyd. Yes, it did happen. At work I never faced any anti-Semitism. Perhaps, this was because we were one team, or maybe, the level was different. I don't know. At least, wherever I worked, there was no prejudiced attitude toward me.

I was negative about perestroika 29, initiated by Gorbachev 30, from the very start. Perhaps, our life should have been changed in some aspects, but it should have been done in a very different manner from how Gorbachev did it. Everything was camouflaged with beautiful words while actually, this generated lack of power. 'I do what I want.' It was allowed to speak out whatever one felt like, and write about such things in newspapers that one wouldn't want to read them.

Well, it takes time to discuss this, and everyone would have one's own opinion, but in my mind this wasn't the right thing to do. They started from lack of power, and it resulted in the chaos and breakup of the USSR [in 1991]. During the Gorbachev rule attacks on the Communist Party began while the Party was the force that united our Soviet Union and managed our life.

I was a member of the Communist Party for 40 years, and I'm not ashamed of it. Our father raised my brother Boris and me to be Soviet patriots. We were true and honest communists. We never took advantage of our party membership certificate to have extra benefits, and we didn't join the Party for career's sake.

This was what our consciousness dictated us. Therefore, the Party was sacred to us. For this reason we can hardly understand whatever is happening nowadays. We just cannot accept this. The people have changed, and I wouldn't say this change is for the better. Many people only think about themselves and want to get more for themselves while during the Soviet time we used to help and support each other.

They say many former Soviet republics have gained independence. Belarus is an independent country. Independent from what or who? I don't think Belarus wasn't independent within the Soviet Union. Our republic was wealthy and one of the most active republics in the former Soviet Union.

Our Belarus was ahead of all other republics considering the people's wealth and accomplishments. I don't think we were deprived of anything, when Belarus was a part of the USSR. I don't think the republics that are pouring mud onto the Soviet Union are doing the right thing. During the Soviet regime the Baltic republics enjoyed everything good we gave them, in all respects, when now they call Soviet people occupants.

I think many things happening now are horrifying. I still find the breakup of the USSR a painful thing to have happened. God, what a pity it is that the Soviet Union broke up! When this powerful state was still there, it was the world's base, and the world's progressive community could rely on it.

The Soviet Union provided tremendous assistance to the world's socialist and communist parties. And had the Soviet Union lasted, it would be strong and powerful like it had never been. America wouldn't threaten us, and Belarus wouldn't have listened to all those foul things from America. They wouldn't teach us how to live.

Take the Baltic republics or Poland, or all worthy and unworthy countries, they tell whatever they want about Belarus and they scold us! Terrible! They fund anti-government organizations in Belarus and try to shake our country from the inside. And it would never have happened, had the Soviet Union lasted.

These courtiers are eager to destroy present-day Belarus for its friendship with Russia; how they want to arrange the Ukrainian Orange Revolution 31 in Belarus and overthrow the current government! America, Poland and the Baltic republics provoke and finance those Belarusian that stand up against the government, our opposition.

That is why I am against Gorbachev who led our country, the USSR to the breakup. When the Soviet Union existed, Americans were quieter than water or grass. They were facing their rival, the powerful and overpowering Soviet Union. And then Western Europe applauded the Soviet Union, and there was no confrontation. Of course, there were some disagreements, but they feared the Soviet Union and knew that besides ourselves, we could also protect other socialist countries.

This provided balance in the world, but now America rules the world. It does whatever it wants, and there is nobody to stand against it. That is why I valued the Soviet Union, and I find it painful that this powerful country is no longer on the map of the world.

I love my Belarus and I love my Slutsk. I appreciate it that our government cares about us. Life in Belarus is improving with every coming year. Whatever they say about our country, we are happy with our life here. Here is a simple example. Over half of our Belarus has been provided with gas supplies. There are gas supplies to villages and smaller towns. Each week another settlement is being connected to gas pipelines.

The President himself attends each event of this kind. He tells people what is going to be done. These are not sheer words. These are deeds. Many things are done for the people. Perhaps, somebody may not like things, but I'm personally very happy with the government. My wife and I are well provided for. I receive the equivalent of $190, my wife has about $120, and utilities and food products are inexpensive. We can manage all right.

In 1995 the Jewish community opened in Slutsk. I had retired by then and started to work actively in the community. I am assistant of the chairman of our community. There are older people of over 60 in the community. There are some over 80. Young people take a little part in the life of our community, unfortunately.

We have a few young people, but mostly from mixed marriages. For example, my nephews: the father is Jewish and the mother is Belarusian. There are many such families and perhaps, this is the reason why they are not so active. However, we have programs for young people: a club for young people, or a family club, and they have gatherings occasionally. There are only men there, about 20 of them. They recite prayers, have tea and discussions. There is also a community of progressive Judaism in our community.

I've already mentioned that there are 165 Jews in Slutsk, based on the 2002 records. I don't know how accurate this number is. I was one of the managers during the census in 1999. There were fewer Jews then, but at that time many Jewish people identified themselves as Russian. Therefore, I don't think the data was accurate then.

Nowadays people are no longer afraid of acknowledging their Jewish identity. Vice versa, it is advantageous to be Jewish nowadays, considering the community assistance. Nowadays people that have identified themselves as Russian or Belarusian come to our community as Jews. There is a woman, for example, her father is Russian, and her mother is Jewish.

The mother determines the national identity according to our rules. She worked as a school teacher and was Russian, but when she retired and came to our community, she came as Jew. And there are many such examples, but we don't send these people away. The Jewish people have survived in the world due to this support that they've provided for each other. We need our community.

At least, it has united the Jews in Slutsk. We used to be disunited. We didn't know each other and didn't socialize, but now we are like a family. We get together three times a week. We celebrate Sabbath on Saturday. People get together to share opinions, joys and problems. About 40 people attend Sabbath each week. They pray, have tea and sandwiches and talk to each other. It's not just the ritual, but an opportunity to talk to each other. There are many lonely people. They meet each other and socialize in the community. They keep seeing each other beyond the community.

Our community is funded by Joint 32. It works in 90 countries all over the world supporting people. The Joint helps us to support many people. We have the charity service in the community. It provides assistance to the needy, and we provide medications for people for free.

They submit their prescriptions, and twice a month we receive medications based on prescriptions and deliver them to people. This is important. We deliver food packages three times a week. This adds about 30-35 thousand Belarusian rubles [?$15] to the pension, which is a significant amount for a pensioner. Our charity service provides assistance to lonely and ill people.

We have four such individuals now. This is a twofold assistance: we support the needy and pay salaries to our employees. So, we also employ people. We visit patients in hospitals, provide assistance with funerals, and this is what the community is responsible for. This is a great support, and people appreciate it.

There is a Sunday school for children at the community. Some 15, 20 and up to 30 children attend it. When a teacher is available, they even study Ivrit. Young families have gatherings about twice a month. We also fund their gathering, so that they can have tea at their meetings.

We have an amateur performers' club. Considering it all, this makes a lot of actual work and apparent support. We have a computer, and youngsters can study to work with it. We have a washing machine, and people can do their washing for free. We pay a salary to the responsible individual. We buy good washing powder. Our Laundromat works three times a week. Our customers are satisfied with the quality.

Since my wife hasn't been feeling well, I also use our Laundromat services. Attending to ill people is very time- consuming. It takes a lot of effort. I know the advantages of being a member of the community.

We also have an emergency service in the community. Nobody knows what surprises await people in life. In the case of an emergency, when people need money urgently, we can help. We also have the so-called 'winter response' assistance, providing boots and warm clothes for people and wood to those that live in private houses. This is not minor assistance, is it?

This is what the Joint does for us, and it undoubtedly does a lot. Formerly the annual Joint budget was 50 million rubles, and they've allocated 30 million this year already. They explained to us that contributions go down all over the world, and there are fewer opportunities, and we need to be reasonable and understand that the Joint does everything possible. Of course, we understand that nobody owes us anything and that we have no right to demand or ask for something. We have to be grateful for what they do for us and for what we are given.

We have no rabbi or synagogue in Slutsk. We often receive letters from Israel or America addressed to the 'Rabbi of Slutsk.' The post office employees already know that they should deliver such letters to the chairwoman of our community. The Orthodox part has no rabbi either. The head of their community recites the prayers.

We celebrate Jewish holidays in the community. We celebrate Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, Pesach and Chanukkah. These are the holidays that we do not miss, and as for the rest of them, we tell people about them during the celebration of Sabbath, and the whole community celebrates the three mentioned holidays.

The community makes some donations, and we collect some money from visitors and celebrate holidays in restaurants. Often rabbis visit our celebrations. They conduct the proper rituals and recite prayers. The Joint Republican leadership of the community visits us. Leonid Levin is the chairman of our Jewish organizations and communities. He often visits us, sometimes alone and sometimes accompanied by his wife. Life goes on, and our community tries to do as much as possible for the people.

We try to do everything we can to make people remember about the innocent victims of the Holocaust. Of course, many people were lost to this war, and there were many non-Jewish people, but only Jews were exterminated simply for being Jews. We must not forget this. We installed a monument to the victims of the Holocaust in Slutsk.

There are three monuments on shooting sites in Slutsk. Now our community is involved in the installation of the monument where the ghetto was in Slutsk. My brother and I initiated this. We happen to have been the only survivors of the ghetto, eliminated by fascists in February 1943. We are bound to do what we are doing.

We've generated this idea and talked to Leonid Levin. He is an architect. We proposed to install this monument to honor the heroic deed of these doomed people, but not to honor the ghetto established by fascists. Levin supported our idea and took to the development of documentation. Now the documents are under review at the Ministry of Local Lore in Minsk. In the near future representatives of the Ministry will visit Slutsk, and we shall meet with them. The executive committee treated our idea with understanding, and allotted a site in the center of the town, before the central gate to the former ghetto.

There are apartment houses where the former ghetto was located, and there is no way to install a monument there. Anyway, is it important, if the monument would be shifted a little from the location of the ghetto? What matters is that it will be there, and it will remind people of the heroic resistance of the people doomed to die. This will be the monument to their courage. Levin developed the documentation and the design. We have this in place. Now we have to wait till the executive committee transfers this ground to us. This is just a matter of days.

We would like to inaugurate the monument on 9th May, Victory Day, but I don't think we will manage. I hope we will manage to do it on 3rd July, the Day of the Liberation of Belarus from the German fascist occupants, and now we also celebrate the Independence Day of Belarus on this day. We've collected donations for the monument. We had some in Slutsk, America and Israel.

One of our former compatriots sent us 2.5 thousand dollars. An Englishman gave us one thousand. We need 7-8 thousand for the monument and we keep collecting money. On 3rd January the Belarusian Jewish community organized the Chanukkah celebration at the palace of pensioners in Minsk. Attendants were asked to donate 2 thousand rubles each for the monument in Slutsk. We've collected 516 thousand [?240$]. It's not that much, but it is important that the people wanted to help us and took it close to their hearts. I was also invited there.

There was a concert of Jewish amateur performers. The performers came from different locations of Belarus. I was asked to make a speech. I told them the brief history of the ghetto in Slutsk and why we wanted to have this monument installed. I also thanked people for attending that event and for their however little share in the event.

I was given such a hearty welcome that I was really moved. There was lasting applause after my speech, and the audience greeted me with standing ovations. When I was walking off the stage, people were thanking me. I asked them why they were thanking me, and they replied that I deserve gratitude even for the fact that my brother and I have survived, and are involved in such an honorable event.

I was embarrassed and moved at the same time, and I was pleased, since gratitude of people is better than anything else. It's nice when people understand that the memory needs to be kept, that it isn't just a piece of marble, but the tribute of honor to the deceased that gave us an example that even in the most horrific conditions a person can preserve pride and dignity.

  •  Glossary:

1 Great Patriotic War: On 22nd June 1941 at 5 o'clock in the morning Nazi Germany attacked the Soviet Union without declaring war. This was the beginning of the so-called Great Patriotic War. The German blitzkrieg, known as Operation Barbarossa, nearly succeeded in breaking the Soviet Union in the months that followed.

Caught unprepared, the Soviet forces lost whole armies and vast quantities of equipment to the German onslaught in the first weeks of the war. By November 1941 the German army had seized the Ukrainian Republic, besieged Leningrad, the Soviet Union's second largest city, and threatened Moscow itself. The war ended for the Soviet Union on 9th May 1945.

2 Russian Revolution of 1917: Revolution in which the tsarist regime was overthrown in the Russian Empire and, under Lenin, was replaced by the Bolshevik rule. The two phases of the Revolution were: February Revolution, which came about due to food and fuel shortages during World War I, and during which the tsar abdicated and a provisional government took over.

The second phase took place in the form of a coup led by Lenin in October/November (October Revolution) and saw the seizure of power by the Bolsheviks.

3 Common name: Russified or Russian first names used by Jews in everyday life and adopted in official documents.

The Russification of first names was one of the manifestations of the assimilation of Russian Jews at the turn of the 19th and 20th century. In some cases only the spelling and pronunciation of Jewish names was russified (e.g. Isaac instead of Yitskhak; Boris instead of Borukh), while in other cases traditional Jewish names were replaced by similarly sounding Russian names (e.g. Eugenia instead of Ghita; Yury instead of Yuda).

When state anti-Semitism intensified in the USSR at the end of the 1940s, most Jewish parents stopped giving their children traditional Jewish names to avoid discrimination.

4 Engels, Friedrich (1820-1895): Philosopher and public figure, one of the founders of Marxism and communism.

5 Struggle against religion: The 1930s was a time of anti-religion struggle in the USSR. In those years it was not safe to go to synagogue or to church. Places of worship, statues of saints, etc. were removed; rabbis, Orthodox and Roman Catholic priests disappeared behind KGB walls.

6 October Revolution Day: October 25 (according to the old calendar), 1917 went down in history as victory day for the Great October Socialist Revolution in Russia. This day is the most significant date in the history of the USSR. Today the anniversary is celebrated as 'Day of Accord and Reconciliation' on November 7.

7 All-Union pioneer organization: a communist organization for teenagers between 10 and 15 years old (cf: boy-/ girlscouts in the US). The organization aimed at educating the young generation in accordance with the communist ideals, preparing pioneers to become members of the Komsomol and later the Communist Party. In the Soviet Union, all teenagers were pioneers.

8 Great Terror (1934-1938): During the Great Terror, or Great Purges, which included the notorious show trials of Stalin's former Bolshevik opponents in 1936-1938 and reached its peak in 1937 and 1938, millions of innocent Soviet citizens were sent off to labor camps or killed in prison.

The major targets of the Great Terror were communists. Over half of the people who were arrested were members of the party at the time of their arrest. The armed forces, the Communist Party, and the government in general were purged of all allegedly dissident persons; the victims were generally sentenced to death or to long terms of hard labor.

Much of the purge was carried out in secret, and only a few cases were tried in public 'show trials'. By the time the terror subsided in 1939, Stalin had managed to bring both the Party and the public to a state of complete submission to his rule. Soviet society was so atomized and the people so fearful of reprisals that mass arrests were no longer necessary. Stalin ruled as absolute dictator of the Soviet Union until his death in March 1953.

9 NKVD: People's Committee of Internal Affairs; it took over from the GPU, the state security agency, in 1934.

10 Kulaks: In the Soviet Union the majority of wealthy peasants that refused to join collective farms and give their grain and property to Soviet power were called kulaks, declared enemies of the people and exterminated in the 1930s.

11 Enemy of the people: Soviet official term; euphemism used for real or assumed political opposition.

12 Invasion of Poland: The German attack of Poland on 1st September 1939 is widely considered the date in the West for the start of World War II. After having gained both Austria and the Bohemian and Moravian parts of Czechoslovakia, Hitler was confident that he could acquire Poland without having to fight Britain and France.

(To eliminate the possibility of the Soviet Union fighting if Poland were attacked, Hitler made a pact with the Soviet Union, the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact.) On the morning of 1st September 1939, German troops entered Poland.

The German air attack hit so quickly that most of Poland's air force was destroyed while still on the ground. To hinder Polish mobilization, the Germans bombed bridges and roads. Groups of marching soldiers were machine-gunned from the air, and they also aimed at civilians.

On 1st September, the beginning of the attack, Great Britain and France sent Hitler an ultimatum - withdraw German forces from Poland or Great Britain and France would go to war against Germany. On 3rd September, with Germany's forces penetrating deeper into Poland, Great Britain and France both declared war on Germany.

13 Soviet-Finnish War (1939-40): The Soviet Union attacked Finland on 30 November 1939 to seize the Karelian Isthmus. The Red Army was halted at the so-called Mannengeim line. The League of Nations expelled the USSR from its ranks. In February-March 1940 the Red Army broke through the Mannengeim line and reached Vyborg. In March 1940 a peace treaty was signed in Moscow, by which the Karelian Isthmus, and some other areas, became part of the Soviet Union.

14 Molotov, V. P. (1890-1986): Statesman and member of the Communist Party leadership. From 1939, Minister of Foreign Affairs. On June 22, 1941 he announced the German attack on the USSR on the radio. He and Eden also worked out the percentages agreement after the war, about Soviet and western spheres of influence in the new Europe.

15 Komsomol: Communist youth political organization created in 1918. The task of the Komsomol was to spread of the ideas of communism and involve the worker and peasant youth in building the Soviet Union. The Komsomol also aimed at giving a communist upbringing by involving the worker youth in the political struggle, supplemented by theoretical education. The Komsomol was more popular than the Communist Party because with its aim of education people could accept uninitiated young proletarians, whereas party members had to have at least a minimal political qualification.

16 Gulag: The Soviet system of forced labor camps in the remote regions of Siberia and the Far North, which was first established in 1919. However, it was not until the early 1930s that there was a significant number of inmates in the camps. By 1934 the Gulag, or the Main Directorate for Corrective Labor Camps, then under the Cheka's successor organization the NKVD, had several million inmates.

The prisoners included murderers, thieves, and other common criminals, along with political and religious dissenters. The Gulag camps made significant contributions to the Soviet economy during the rule of Stalin. Conditions in the camps were extremely harsh. After Stalin died in 1953, the population of the camps was reduced significantly, and conditions for the inmates improved somewhat.

17 Ispolkom: After the tsar's abdication (March, 1917), power passed to a Provisional Government appointed by a temporary committee of the Duma, which proposed to share power to some extent with councils of workers and soldiers known as 'soviets'. Following a brief and chaotic period of fairly democratic procedures, a mixed body of socialist intellectuals known as the Ispolkom secured the right to 'represent' the soviets.

The democratic credentials of the soviets were highly imperfect to begin with: peasants - the overwhelming majority of the Russian population - had virtually no say, and soldiers were grossly over-represented. The Ispolkom's assumption of power turned this highly imperfect democracy into an intellectuals' oligarchy.

18 Judenrat: Jewish councils appointed by German occupying authorities to carry out Nazi orders in the Jewish communities of occupied Europe. After the establishment of the ghettos they were responsible for everything that happened within them. They controlled all institutions operating in the ghettos, the police, the employment agency, food supplies, housing, health, social work, education, religion, etc.

Germans also made them responsible for selecting people for the work camps, and, in the end, choosing those to be sent to camps that were in reality death camps. It is hard to judge their actions due to the abnormal circumstances. Some believe they betrayed Jews by obeying orders, and others think they were trying to gain time and save as many people as possible.

19 Vlasov military: Members of the voluntary military formations of Russian former prisoners of war that fought on the German side during World War II. They were led by the former Soviet general, A. Vlasov, hence their name.

20 Communal apartment: The Soviet power wanted to improve housing conditions by requisitioning 'excess' living space of wealthy families after the Revolution of 1917. Apartments were shared by several families with each family occupying one room and sharing the kitchen, toilet and bathroom with other tenants.

Because of the chronic shortage of dwelling space in towns communal or shared apartments continued to exist for decades. Despite state programs for the construction of more houses and the liquidation of communal apartments, which began in the 1960s, shared apartments still exist today.

21 Latvian SS Legion: a national voluntary military formation, established by German commandment in Latvia during the Great Patriotic War. In February 1943 Hitler's commandment took a decision to establish the Latvian SS Legion. It included Latvian voluntary units that had been formed earlier and had taken part in combat action.

In late February and early March 1943, men born between 1919 and 1924 received letters at their place of residency in which they were ordered to appear at police headquarters. There, they had to fill out information cards and be inspected by a medical commission.

Mobilized individuals were enlisted, according to their own wishes, either in the Latvian Legion or in the service divisions of the German armies, or they were sent to build defense constructions.

On 28th March 28 of the same year, the 'Legionnaires' took this oath in Riga: 'In the name of God I promise solemnly in the struggle against Bolshevism an unlimited obedience to the supreme commander of the German military forces, Adolf Hitler; and as a brave soldier, I will always be ready to give my life for this oath.' They wore special insignia, were promoted to military ranks of the Latvian army and the orders were given in Latvian.

Of 150 thousand officers and soldiers of the Legion over 40 thousand were killed, and 50 thousand were captured by the Russian army. The rest escaped to the West. Only once the Latvian SS units (the 15th and the 19th) took part in combat action against the advancing Soviet army on 16th March 1944 in the vicinity of the Velikaya River, south-east of the town of Ostrov (Pskov region).

22 Victory Day in Russia (9th May): National holiday to commemorate the defeat of Nazi Germany and the end of World War II and honor the Soviets who died in the war.

23 Campaign against 'cosmopolitans': The campaign against 'cosmopolitans', i.e. Jews, was initiated in articles in the central organs of the Communist Party in 1949. The campaign was directed primarily at the Jewish intelligentsia and it was the first public attack on Soviet Jews as Jews. 'Cosmopolitans' writers were accused of hating the Russian people, of supporting Zionism, etc.

Many Yiddish writers as well as the leaders of the Jewish Anti-Fascist Committee were arrested in November 1948 on charges that they maintained ties with Zionism and with American 'imperialism'.

They were executed secretly in 1952. The anti-Semitic Doctors' Plot was launched in January 1953. A wave of anti-Semitism spread through the USSR. Jews were removed from their positions, and rumors of an imminent mass deportation of Jews to the eastern part of the USSR began to spread. Stalin's death in March 1953 put an end to the campaign against 'cosmopolitans'.

24 Doctors' Plot: The Doctors' Plot was an alleged conspiracy of a group of Moscow doctors to murder leading government and party officials. In January 1953, the Soviet press reported that nine doctors, six of whom were Jewish, had been arrested and confessed their guilt.

As Stalin died in March 1953, the trial never took place.

The official paper of the Party, the Pravda, later announced that the charges against the doctors were false and their confessions obtained by torture. This case was one of the worst anti-Semitic incidents during Stalin's reign. In his secret speech at the Twentieth Party Congress in 1956 Khrushchev stated that Stalin wanted to use the Plot to purge the top Soviet leadership.

25 Party Schools: They were established after the Revolution of 1917, in different levels, with the purpose of training communist cadres and activists. Subjects such as 'scientific socialism' (Marxist-Leninist Philosophy) and 'political economics' besides various other political disciplines were taught there.

26 Mandatory job assignment in the USSR: Graduates of higher educational institutions had to complete a mandatory 2-year job assignment issued by the institution from which they graduated. After finishing this assignment young people were allowed to get employment at their discretion in any town or organization.

27 Twentieth Party Congress: At the Twentieth Congress of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union in 1956 Khrushchev publicly debunked the cult of Stalin and lifted the veil of secrecy from what had happened in the USSR during Stalin's leadership.

28 Khrushchev, Nikita (1894-1971): Soviet communist leader.

After Stalin's death in 1953, he became first secretary of the Central Committee, in effect the head of the Communist Party of the USSR. In 1956, during the 20th Party Congress, Khrushchev took an unprecedented step and denounced Stalin and his methods. He was deposed as premier and party head in October 1964. In 1966 he was dropped from the Party's Central Committee.

29 Perestroika (Russian for restructuring): Soviet economic and social policy of the late 1980s, associated with the name of Soviet politician Mikhail Gorbachev. The term designated the attempts to transform the stagnant, inefficient command economy of the Soviet Union into a decentralized, market-oriented economy. Industrial managers and local government and party officials were granted greater autonomy, and open elections were introduced in an attempt to democratize the Communist Party organization. By 1991, perestroika was declining and was soon eclipsed by the dissolution of the USSR.

30 Gorbachev, Mikhail (1931- ): Soviet political leader. Gorbachev joined the Communist Party in 1952 and gradually moved up in the party hierarchy. In 1970 he was elected to the Supreme Soviet of the USSR, where he remained until 1990. In 1980 he joined the politburo, and in 1985 he was appointed general secretary of the party. In 1986 he embarked on a comprehensive program of political, economic, and social liberalization under the slogans of glasnost (openness) and perestroika (restructuring).

The government released political prisoners, allowed increased emigration, attacked corruption, and encouraged the critical reexamination of Soviet history. The Congress of People's Deputies, founded in 1989, voted to end the Communist Party's control over the government and elected Gorbachev executive president.

Gorbachev dissolved the Communist Party and granted the Baltic states independence. Following the establishment of the Commonwealth of Independent States in 1991, he resigned as president. Since 1992, Gorbachev has headed international organizations.

31 Orange Revolution 2004: the events which took place in Ukraine between 21st November 2004 and 23rd January 2005, connected with presidential elections. The candidates for the presidency were: prime minister Viktor Yanukovych, backed by the government and the candidate of the oppositional party Our Ukraine, former prime minister Viktor Yushchenko. The name Orange Revolution comes from the orange color which represented the electoral campaign of Viktor Yushchenko.

33 Joint (American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee): The Joint was formed in 1914 with the fusion of three American Jewish committees of assistance, which were alarmed by the suffering of Jews during World War I. In late 1944, the Joint entered Europe's liberated areas and organized a massive relief operation. It provided food for Jewish survivors all over Europe, it supplied clothing, books and school supplies for children.

It supported cultural amenities and brought religious supplies for the Jewish communities. The Joint also operated DP camps, in which it organized retraining programs to help people learn trades that would enable them to earn a living, while its cultural and religious activities helped re- establish Jewish life. The Joint was also closely involved in helping Jews to emigrate from Europe and from Muslim countries.

The Joint was expelled from East Central Europe for decades during the Cold War and it has only come back to many of these countries after the fall of communism. Today the Joint provides social welfare programs for elderly Holocaust survivors and encourages Jewish renewal and communal development.

Rebeca Assa

Ребека Асса

Аз съм родена на 24 март 1922 г. в Пловдив. Моите прадеди са родени и са живели в България. Родителите на баща ми са родени в Пловдив.. И двамата ми дядовци са починали преди да се родя и затова не знам почти нищо за тях. Името на дядо ми по майчина линия е Рахамин  Илел, който също е роден в Пловдив, а  само баба ми по майчина линия, която се казва Рашел, е родена в  град Карлово [малък град в централна България]. Баба ми се е преместила в Пловдив, където е срещнала дядо ми и там са се оженили.

Баба ми по бащина линия е била професионална готвачка и е готвила на богатите семейства за сватби и на празници. Била е много търсена от богатите евреи. За другата ми баба помня, че е починала в къщата, в която живеехме с майка ми и баща ми на 75 годишна възраст. И двете ми баби ходеха забулени с кърпи на главите си, за да не им се виждат косите.

Баба ми по бащина линия живя при големия си син Рахамин в Пловдив, който по принцип е длъжен да гледа майка си. Къщата е била на жената на този Рахамин. Живяла е и при другия си син Михаел и накрая майка ми я прие в нашата къща.

Майка ми се казва Лора – Илел по баща, Бенвинисти по мъж. Родена е през 1900 г. Спомням си, че шиеше на една ръчна машина чаршафи и дрехи, които се продаваха в магазините. Заплащането й беше много малко; използваха я за евтина работна ръка. Работила е, за да може да помага на баща ми, който беше обущар - поправяше обувки. Неговото име е Маир Бенвинисти. Майка ми е имала брат, който е заминал за САЩ още през 1930 г.. Там имам първи братовчеди, но не ги познавам.

Баща ми е ходил на училище до четвърто отделение в еврейското училище. Най-интересното в случая е, че до 80 годишната си възраст помнеше имената на всичките си 32-ма съученици под ред. Казваше ги на всички събирания на семейството и това винаги ни впечатляваше и забавляваше. И двамата ми родители бяха грамотни. Любимата книга на баща ми беше за Васил Левски.

Баща ми от своя страна е имал сестра Султана Бенвинисти, която пак през 1930 г. е заминала за САЩ при нейния годеник Марко Амар. Те били дълго време заедно в България, даже им се родило дете – Арон, но годеникът й заминал внезапно за САЩ. Всички помислили, че я е изоставил, защото тя е живяла без него приблизително осем години, но един ден пристигнала телеграма, че годеникът й ще я чака на летището в Ню Йорк. Изпращането на леля ми беше много грандиозно. Спомням си, че баба ми по бащина линия живееше в една малка къщурка и получаваше поздравления, че най-после е омъжила дъщеря си. Арон е на моята възраст, но нямам информация за него. Спомням си една улица с много файтони, в които са се качили хората, за да изпратят Султана до летището. Целият Пловдив се беше събрал да я изпрати. Преди това баща ми беше ходил при познати богати евреи да търси средства, за да може да изпрати сестра си и е успял да й помогне. Взаимопомощта при евреите е много голяма.

Първата къща, в която съм живяла, се намираше в квартал “Мараша”. Там съм се родила през1922 г. Това беше най-бедният квартал в Пловдив. Това е място, в което са разположени нагъсто малки двуетажни къщи като на първите етажи живееха най-бедните, а на вторите малко по-богатите. Ние живеехме на втори етаж, защото баща ми все пак работеше. Собственикът на тези постройки беше евреин и ги даваше под наем. Тези къщи бяха разположени така, че образуваха голям вътрешен двор. Там живееха само евреи.

През 1936 г. се преместихме в друга къща в по-централната част на града. Баща ми работеше в малко магазинче, в което имаше и фурна и там евреите ходеха да си поправят обувките. Ние живеехме точно над фурната под наем. Къщата се намираше близо до еврейското училище. Ние обитавахме две стаи на втория етаж. В по-голямата стая живеехме ние, децата, а в по-малката бяха родителите ми. Имахме и малка кухня, където майка ми готвеше. Къщата беше много нестабилна и аз се страхувах да изляза на ламаринения балкон, за да не се подхлъзна и да падна долу. Все пак имаше електричество. Когато затвориха фурната, в която работеше баща ми, един много добър наш приятел, който беше  българин, предостави на баща ми една барака, където той продължи да работи. Имахме много познати , които бяха българи. Те много ни помагаха и много се обичахме с тях. Пловдив беше много хубав град и хората в него бяха много задружни.

До мястото, къдено работеше баща ми, живееше един евреин Хаджи Хаим, който лично е виждал Васил Левски [ Васил Левски е български национален герой, създател на тайните революционни комитети в българските територии по време на турското робство. Загинал е за свободата на България]. Самият факт, че ние знаем това, беше голяма гордост за нас. Този човек живееше в най-голямата сграда в Пловдив, която беше на три етажа като на партера имаше бакалница, в която също ни даваха на кредит.

Баща ми беше извикан в Карлово на комисия за постъпване в армията. Но той е бил много нисък и слаб и не са го приели във войската. Върнал се е в Пловдив пеша, защото не е имал пари за билет за влака. Баща ми беше здрав човек и живя дълго.

През лятото обичахма да излизаме извън Пловдив на ексурзия с талиги [дълги каруци]. Всяка събота ходехме до някое село до Пловдив – обикновено до Коматево. Нямахме собствен превоз и обикновено си наемахме каруца, с която се превозвахме.

В нашата къща сме разговаряли помежду си и на ладино и на български. Понякога дори сме разговаряли и на двата езика – например майка ми ми говори на български, а аз й отговарям на ладино. В къщи майчиният език беше ладино. Жалко, че моите деца не знаят ладино. Разбират какво се говори, но не могат да говорят. Аз говоря и ладино и иврит. Преди да започна училище разговарях с децата на моята възраст на ладино. Този език винаги ми е бил по-близък. По-късно със съпруга ми съм разговаряла на български език. Неговите родители са говорили на ладино, но той не го е научил, защото е завършил немско училище. В Пловдив имаше прогимназия до седми клас с изучаване на немски език. Еврейското училище също беше до седми клас.

Аз и двамата ми братя сме завършили еврейското училище в Пловдив. Когато започнах да ходя на училище, не знаех много думи от българския език. Когато пишех съчинение, използвах думи от ладино, защото вкъщи се говореше само на ладино. Български език научих едва когато започнах училище.Стигнали сме до четвърти клас [сегашен седми], тъй като родителите ни нямха достатъчно средства да ни подпомагат. В еврейското училище сме изучавали френски език, иврит, историята на еврейския народ и българска история. Караха ни да ходим на синагога всяка сутрин. В еврейското училище се учеше до седми клас, което в съвременната българска образователна система означава средно образование.  Училището се намираше в централната част на града.

По-големият от братята ми – Алберт Маир Бенвинисти е роден през 1924 г. в Пловдив. Учил е до четвърти клас в еврейското училище. Още от малък започна да работи обща работа като продавач в магазин или работник в склад. Като млад брат ми работеше в магазин, след това през 1948 г.замина за Израел. Там се устрои добре – работи във израелска фирма, която се занимава с производство на машини. Брат ми се ожени в България, живя 13 години в Израел и се върна отново. В момента е български гражданин като през по-голямата част от времето живе в Израел, но заради работата си често пътува до България и понякога остава за няколко месеца. В Израел печели по-добре. В България работеше и като шофьор на камион, който събираше остатъците от храна по ресторантите и ги превозваше до някаква ферма.

По-малкият ми брат се роди, когато бях на 5 г. – през 1927 г. Тогава живеехме на улица “Братя Миладинови №16. Спомням си добре самото раждане. В квартала, в който живеехме, имаше постоянна акушерка. Нейното име е Мазал (мазал означава щастие). Тя е акуширала и при раждането на двете ми по-големи деца. Учил е в българско училище и има основно образование. До заминаването си през 1948 г. в Израел работеше като общ работник по магазини и складове, поправяше и обувки, което е правил и в Израел. Малкият ми брат постъпи малко лекомислено като замина през 1949 г. за Уругвай след едногодишен престой в Израел. Смяташе, че ще сполучи материално в Америка, но всъщност нямаше някакво специализирано образование. Беше голям специалист само в изработката на обувки и така се е препитавал. Сега е пенсионер и иска да си дойде в България, но не може, защото тук не може да си получи пенсията. Това е възможно единствено в Израел.

Баща ми и майка ми се смятаха за модерни хора и не спазваха Кашер, но на Великден спазвахме ритуала. Спомням си, че баща ми не искаше да яде от твърдата маца и тайно си купуваше хляб. Баща ми не ходеше и на синагога. Смяташе, че това не е необходимо. Само майка ми ходеше, но по-скоро да се срещне с хора и да покаже някой нов тоалет. В синагогата жените сядаха на балкона. Смяташе се, че това е елитът. Баща ми и майка ми за всеки Песах купуваха костюми на двамата ми братя, а на мене каквато си избера рокля. Взимаха пари от банката на кредит и после ги изплащаха. Задължително ни купуваха и нови обувки.

За Песах се събирахме при малкия брат на баща ми Исак, за когото се смяташе, че е най-издигнат от семейството, защото работеше във фабрика. Събирахме се три семейства – нашето, на чичо ми и на един друг брат на баща ми, който идваше от Хасково [град в България], където е бил даден за осиновяване на друго семейство. Когато идваше трябваше да мълчим и да пазим това в тайна, защото той е бил продаден в Хасково при условие, че няма да вижда майка си, но въпреки това идваше тайно да я вижда. Осиновителите му са били богати хора и братът на баща ми е рискувал да се откажат от него като е идвал тайно в Пловдив. Семейството на баба ми по бащина линия е живяло крайно бедно и е било принудено да се раздели по този начин с детето си.

За Песах се слагаше задължително бяла покривка на масата и специални съдове, които майка ми изваждаше само за празника и ги наричаше “лалоса”. Когато отивахме да празнуваме нашия Великден на гости при роднини, майка ми пак взимаше тези съдове. Молитвата се четеше от най-големия брат на баща ми. Аз също можех да чета “агада”-та [молитвата], защото я бях научила в еврейското училище. Имахме традиция да се скрие парче от мацата и децата да го търсят. Имаше поверие, че детето, което го намери, ще бъде най-щастливо през цялата година. Празникът продължава осем дни като не се работеше само на първия и на последния ден и тогава се ходи на синагогата.

Баща ми не ходеше на синагога даже и на празника на всеопрощението Кипур. Ходеше само майка ми, която винаги подканяше и баща ми, въпреки че знаеше неговото отношение. На този празник не трябва да се върши никаква работа и през целия ден не трябва да се яде. Дори не трябва да се пали лампата.

На празника Пурим се даваха пари на децата, за да могат да се забавляват и да харчат колкото могат. Всеки роднина, който идваше вкъщи на гости или ни срещнеше на улицата, също ни даваше пари.

Семейството ни беше бедно и баща ми нямаше възможност да купи много плодове за празника Фрутас. Помагаше ни Лиезер, брат на майка ми, който имаше по-големи възможности. В домакинството баща ми купуваше хляба, а майка ми ходеше до бакалницата, която беше собственост на един евреин, който се казваше Рафаел. Майка ми слагаше един шал на гърба, взимаше една кошница и тръгваше на пазар. В този магазин можеше да пазарува на вересия, тъй като не винаги е можела да плати.

Съпругът ми се казва Мориц Асса и също е роден през 1922 г. Той беше от по-богато семейство. Живеехме сравнително близо един до друг и когато сутрин тръгвах на работа, той също излизаше да повървим заедно. Тогава съпругът ми учеше в търговската гимназия. Оженихме се през 1941 г., когато бяхме на 19 години. Съпругът ми започна да живее у нас още когато бяхме на 16 г. Баща му го беше изгонил от къщи, защото беше комунист, а и мен не ме приемаха за снаха, защото не бях от богато семейство.

През 1936 г. се преместихме на улица “Братя Миладинови”№16. Там се оженихме със съпруга ми, с когото се сближихме още когато бях на 16 години. Когато вкъщи дойде хахана – еврейският поп, аз вече бях бременна. Заради това не получихме разрешение да се оженим в София, а се венчахме вкъщи. Сватбата беше според еврейските обичаи с “таламу”[специално покривало] над главите, което прави мястото да е свещено като в синагогата.

По това време съпругът ми се занимаваше с нелегална дейност и набираше съмишленици на Революционния Младежки Съюз [младежка антифашистка организация]. Ходеше  в училището и агитираше младежите да стават членове на РМС  [Революционния Младежки Съюз]. Полицията го издирваше и той се укриваше при приятели студенти. След като се оженихме, дойде само за една вечер да спи при мен – на 1 март 1941 г. и го арестуваха. Най-вероятно синът на хазяина, който се казва Берто Гарте, го беше предал на полицията, защото всички останали хора от нашата къща ни бяха съмишленици. След години срещнахме този човек в Израел, но той твърдеше, че не го е предал.

Съпругът ми беше с много голям авторитет и когато го прекарваха през Пловдив със стражари, целият град излизаше на улицата да го види. Бяха го оковали с тежки железни пранги, за да не избяга. Спомням си, че краката му се бяха разранили и тогава успяхме да му вземем талига [каруца], с която да може да се придвижва от затвора до съда. Съпругът ми лежа три години в затвора в град Варна като политически затворник.

Спомням си, че големият ми брат ходеше на работа още когато беше съвсем малък. Аз също започнах веднага да работя, когато бях на 13 години. Много желаех да продължа да уча в търговската гимназия, защото обичах математиката. Вместо това майка ми искаше да ме прати шивачка на рокли, но аз се възпротивих и сама си намерих работа в един магазин на главната улица, в който започнах да чистя конци от ушитите ризи. Постепенно седнах на машина и шиех по 17 ризи на ден. Разбира се, работата беше разпределена – аз шиех якичките, а другите ръкавите, маншетите и т. н. Собственикът на шивалнята беше евреин и се казваше Барух. Точно срещу мястото, където работехме имаше магазин за месо и колбаси “Братя Маневи”, където се хранехме на обяд. Собственикът на колбасарницата Манев дори ни даваше храна без пари. 

Майка ми имаше крачна шевна машена “Пфаф”, която беше купила на старо. Тази машина още е здрава в мазето ми. Първоначално майка ми работеше в тютюнев склад, в който шиеше чували. Тъй като мирисът на тютюн не й се отразяваше добре, ззапочна да шие носни кърпи. Когато се връщах от работа я замествах на машината докато тя приготви яденето. 

Живяла съм непрекъснато под наем. Едва в края на 60-те г., когато бях В Лондон, където съпругът ми беше търговски представител, научих, че общината продава жилищата и ни се предоставя  възможността да купим апартамента, в който живеем в момента. Тогава взехме пари назаем от общината, за да купим жилището. Всички наши познати в Лондон бяха много учудени, че нямаме възможност да го купим.

Баща ми и майка ми имаха социалистически възгледи. Винаги са имали лява ориентация. През 30-те години баща ми е укривал хора, които са били в нелегалност заради крайно левите си прокомунистически възгледи и са били издирвани от жандармерията. Тези хора по това време са намирали убежище в Съветския съюз и са се връщали след 9 септември 1944 г. [датата на комунистическия преврат]. През нашата къща в Пловдив минаваха много партизани [антифашистки настроени членове на въоръжени отряди]. Спомням си, че една нощ пристигна Малчика [виден деятел на партизанското движение в България] с една мека шапка с широка периферия и ни даваше инструкции да вербуваме хора за партията.

Организирахме събрания на Революционния Младежки Съюз в една горичка край Пловдив като младежите хващаха девойките за ръка, за да изглеждат като гаджета, тъй като полицията ни следеше. След като съпругът ми влезе в затвора, аз престанах да се занимавам с нелегална дейност. Като цяло нямахме конкретни идеи срещу официалната власт. По-скоро желаехме работническата класа да бъде по-добре заплатена и да се ползва с по-голямо влияние в обществото. За тази цел имахме клуб, в който се четеше “Капиталът” на Карл Маркс. Тези идеи бяха много популярни сред младото население. Всички младежи, които идваха от селата в града да търсят препитание, ставаха ремсисти [членове на Революционния Младежки Съюз]. Съпругът ми е вербувал изключително голям брой хора за антифашистката кауза. Всичко това беше нелегално. Спомням си, че съпрутът ми беше привлякъл всички младежи от дърводелското училище в Пловдив. Заради възгледите си обаче е имал неприятности не само от полицията. Една вечер се разхождахме с него, тъй като имахме среща с Малчика и внезапно го нападнаха негови съученици от Търговската гимназия. Тогава аз и Малчика избягахме като оставихме съпруга ми сам да се бие с младежите.

В Пловдив имаше 32-ма членове на Революционния Младежки Съюз. Това за размерите на града е доста голяма цифра. Сред тях имаше невероятни хора, които имах щастието да познавам. Малчика например беше невероятно ерудиран човек. За съжаление много хора загинаха в Балкана [членовете на партизанските отряди са се укривали извън населените места].

След 1939 г., когато излезе “Закона за защита на нацията” [закон срещу българските евреи], положението ни се влоши. Започнаха да се усещат първите антисемитски настроения, сложиха ни значки. В Пловдив евреите не бяха изселвани, а само богатите хора бяха премествани в гета. Голяма част от тях са използвали парите си да “откупят” възможността да избягат в чужбина. Така по-богатите евреи от Пловдив са заминали за западна Европа и Америка. Положението беше доста напрегнато – имаше “бранници” [“Бранник е легална организация за репресии срещу евреите”], които не позволяваха свободно да излизаме по улиците. Все пак нямаше крайни фашистки настроения, каквито е имало в Германия, но търговците се страхуваха да отварят магазините си, защото им чупеха стъклата. Това бяха хулигани, които не изразяваха отношението на по-голямата част от българското население към евреите. В това отношение мога да кажа, че българският народ е най-добър и най-мъдър. През 1942 г. , когато съпругът ми вече беше политически затворник, ни се роди първият син Исак, когото гледах сама с помощта на баща ми, който по времето на Холокоста продължаваше да изхранва цялото семейство с работата си като обущар. По време на фашизма се живееше много лошо. Не можехме да излизаме навън и разхождах големия си син пред вратата на къщата.

В нашата къща на улица “Братя Миладинови” живееше една българка, чиито синове бяха бранници. Въпреки това тя беше добре разположена към моето семейство и редовно ми съобщаваше от балкона си последните новини от хода на Вторага световна война, тъй като имаше радиоприемник. Първа тя ми съобщи, че Съветската армия е влязла в България и че сме спасени. След 9 септември 1944 г. [комунистически преврат в България] първият министър председателят Багрянов издаде постановление, с което освободи всички политзатворници и аз бях много щастлива, че съпругът ми най-после ще бъде освободен.

Съпругът ми се прибра от затвора във Варна на 8 септември 1944 г. Няколко дни и нощи стоях на прозореца в очакване да се появи. Спомням си, че по-малкият ми брат не можа да го познае отдалеч, но аз веднага изтичах навън и го прегърнах. Докато съпругът ми беше в затвора ни се роди първият син, който не беше виждал баща си. Спомням си, че синът ми, който беше още съвсем малък, се разплака в знак на ревност, защото бях седнала в коленете на съпруга си.

След 9 септември 1944 г. съпругът ми беше избран в окръжния комитет на БКП [българска комунистическа партия] и през 1946 г. получи жилище на главната улица в Пловдив - “Княз Александър” №1. Там родих втория си син Маер. Тогава съпругът ми работеше без да взима пари. След време работата му стана по-организирана и започна да взима около 40 лева на месец. В това време баща ми продължаваше да поправя обувки и ни издържаше. Тогава в България за първи път дойде организацията “Joint”, която раздаде дрехи на всички евреи и на много българи. Тогава за първи път опитах маргарин, който ми се стори невероятно вкусен. Раздадоха се и много други продукти като сирене, ориз, масло и мляко на прах.

През 1949 г. съпругът ми отиде на работа в София в Централния Комитет на БКП и аз останах с двете деца при майка ми. Съпругът ми и хората около него, които работеха партийна работа, го правеха почти без да взимат пари. Бяха изключително честни и идeйно мотивирани хора. В продължение на две години съпругът ми беше в партийна школа в София, в която се създаваха кадри за ръководството на комунистическата партия. През това време аз живях в Пловдив при родителите си. Шиех вкъщи, защото парите не ни достигаха, раздавах купони за храна. Съпругът ми Мориц се беше отдал изцяло на идеите си. Тогава имах усещането, че този идеализъм не е съвсем положителен, защото се внушаваше твърдението, че който не е комунист, все едно не е човек.

През 1948 г. в София  беше голямата “алиа” – когато няколко десетки хиляди души заминаваха за Израел. Тогава заминаха и моите братя. По-големият вече беше женен и имаше дете.

През 1950 г. и аз се преместих в София. Тогава съществуваха комисии, които раздаваха жилища. Такава комисия ми даде две стаи с ползване на хол на бул. “Клемент Готвалд” [днес “Евлоги Георгиев”]. Хазяйката ми имаше съпруг, който беше интерниран като антикомунист, защото е бил богат човек. С хазяйката ми се разбирахме много добре. Спомням си, че тя ми беше благодарна, че посрещнах съпруга й доброжелателно когато се завърна от интернирането. В това жилище се ожениха две от децата ми. През 1962 г. се преместихме  в сегашното ни жилище в квартал “Хиподрума”. Тогава вече не работех и се занимавах с обществена работа.

Родителите ми ме последваха след две години, защото аз исках да работя и майка ми трябваше да ми гледа децата. Баща ми и майка ми станаха лесно софийски жители [в периода 1944-1990 в България софийското жителство е било проблемно]. Започнах да шия ризи, за което получавах стотинки, но все пак си помагахме с това. Баща ми започна работа в кооперация за поправки на обувки. През 1951 г. ни се роди и третото ни дете Марго. Когато стана на две години започнах отново да работя в шивашка кооперация “Бойка”, където постепенно станах контрольор по качеството. Там работих 13 години и след това се пенсионирах. През 1968 г. съпругът ми беше изпратен в Лондон като търговски представител на България и след една година аз заминах при него заедно с децата ни.

В Англия живяхме 5 години. Моят съпруг осъществяваше целия търговски обмен между Англия и България. По време на престоя си в Лондон съпругът ми успя да увиличи многократно търговския обмен между двете държави. Хората, с които е работил още си спомнят с добро за него. В Лондон живеехме с трите си деца. През това време дъщеря ми се омъжи и си роди бебе, което съм гледала в Лондон, големият ми син също се ожени и също ми повери детето си. Всичките ми пет внуци знаят перфектно английски език. След като се завърнахме, имахме осемгодишен престой в България и отново заминахме за Лондон за три години, защото съпругът ми беше поканен отново като търговски представител.


Големият ми син Исак Мориц Асса е роден през 1942 г. в град Пловдив малко след като съпругът ми беше влезе в затвора заради комунистическата си дейност. Завърши университет в Киев, Украйна. Беше на работа във Виена, Австрия като инженер, знае перфектно английски и немски език. След като станаха промените в България след 1989 г., той замина за Израел и оттогава не е идвал. Неговият син живее в Германия.  По-малкият ми син Маер е роден през 1946 г. в град Пловдив. Завършил е гимназия в София, има средно образование. Женен е с две деца. Живее в София и се занимава с търговия. Единият му син обаче живее в Израел. Дъщеря ми Маргарита е родена в София през 1951 г. Има средно гимназиално образование, което е завършила в София. Има семейство с две деца и работи като чиновник. Всичките ми деца са женени за българи.

До Израел съм ходила много пъти. Първият път беше през 1964 г. Бях на гости на брат ми цели три месеца в Яфо. Този град беше населен почти изцяло от българи и нямаше проблем да се разбереш с хората. В момента има голямо заселване на руски евреи и последния път, когато бях там, навсякъде имаше табели, че се говори и на руски.

По време на войните в Израел и двамата ми братя живееха там. Малкият ми брат Рахамин още не беше заминал за Уругвай. Смятам, че брат ми постъпи малко лекомислено с това заминаване. Смяташе, че ще сполучи материално в Америка, но всъщност нямаше някакво специализирано образование. Беше голям специалист само в изработката на обувки и така се е препитавал. Сега е пенсионер и иска да си дойде в България, но не може, защото тук не може да си получи пенсията. Това е възможно единствено в Израел.

През 1989 г., когато започнаха промените в политическата обстановка имах известни опасения, че ще се появят отново разграничения между българи и евреи, че ще бъдат задържани отново хората, които са били политически затворници преди 9 септември 1944 г. като твърди комунисти, но нещата не се развиха в тази посока.

След 9 септември 1944 г. продължихме да зачитаме еврейските празници. През 50-те години имаше един период, когато ционизмът беше обявен за фашизъм и тогава леко се страхувахме. Тогава беше поставен въпросът дали граждани от еврейски произход могат да заемат ръководни длъжности в структурите на Българската Комунистическа Партия.

Аз съм много доволна от това, което направи Людмила Живкова [Людмила Живкова е дъщерята на генералния секретар на комунистическата партия и основател на международната детска асамблея “Знаме на мира”]. Тя отвори България за целия свят като направи първо контакти в Америка. Това беше много смела постъпка за времето си. Познавах я лично от времето,  когато бях в Лондон и ми се стори изключително скромен човек.

След промяната в България след 10 ноември 1989 г. еврейската организация получи голяма свобода. Имаме възможност да се събираме колкото си искаме. По време на комунистическия режим имаше един период, когато беше эабранено да се събираме в клуба на еврейската общност. Сега еврейската общност е много добре организирана. Имаме разнообразни занимания, разпределени в клубове, които редовно посещаваме. Такива са клубовете “Здраве”, където поддържаме формата си, клуб “Ладино”, където се упражняваме на ладино, клуб “Иврит”, в който упражняваме иврит. Имаме и клуб “Златна възраст”, в който всяка събота се разнообразяваме с културни занимания – слушаме лекции, музика, участваме в дискусии. На клуб “Ладино” интересът е много голям и се събират изключително много хора. Организаторката на клуб “Ладино” знае много добре ладино.

Съпругът ми Mориц Асса е председател на софийската еврейска организация “Шалом” и участва активно в живота на еврейската общност. Софийската еврейска организация се грижи за дейността на Еврейския културен дом, който предлага богат културен живот, редица социални придобивки, възможност за срещи. Всички дейности на Дома са финансирани от фондации, сред които най-значим дял имат американската асоциация за подпомагане на евреите “Джойнт”, английската “Лаудер”. Средства се набавят и от реституирани еврейски имоти.  Аз също посещавам редовно еврейската общност. Там полагаме грижи за по-бедните и нуждаещи се от грижи хора. Фондацията “Joint” също много ни помага. Събираме дрехи и ги разпределяме за по-беднте семейства и домове за сираци. Клубът ни развива голяма благотворителна дейност. Към еврейския клуб имаме старчески дом, където се полагат грижи към самотните възрастни хора.

Сега живея много свободно. Всяка събота отивам в клуба, където се организират лекции, които се изнасят от предварително поканени професори. Последните лекции бяха за юдаизма – да знаят евреите за своите мъдреци от историята. Много интересна за мен е книгата, в която са описани най-известните евреи в света. Основната дейност на клуба е взаимното подпомагане между евреите и образователните лекции.

רוזה רוזנשטיין

מראיינת: טניה אקשטיין

תאריך הראיון: יולי 2002

בקיץ 2002 הכרתי את רוזה רוזנשטיין. הייתי מאוד נרגשת שהותר לי לראיין אותה, שכן לא לעתים קרובות אני פוגשת מרואיינים כה מבוגרים – למרות הכול היא הייתה בת 94, כלומר כמעט בת מאה – ובנוסף לזה מברלין, עיר הולדתי. אי אפשר היה לטעות במבטא הברלינאי שלה ותוך זמן קצר נוצרו בינינו יחסי קרבה. משום שהתקשתה בהליכה והייתה כבדת ראייה, בכל פעם הבאתי לה לחדר המגורים את הסיגריות והמאפרה מן החדר הסמוך. לפעמים, לאחר שפתחה לי את דלת הכניסה לא הצליחה לחזור לחדר המגורים. ואז ישבנו בפרוזדור הארוך, לפני דלת הכניסה לדירה, דבוקות זו לזו על ספסל קטן, והיא סיפרה לי סיפורים מחייה, עליזים ועצובים. אני אהבתי את הסיפורים שסיפרה ולא עייפתי מביקורים חוזרים ונשנים בביתה. החיוניות המופלאה שליוותה את סיפוריה, יכולתה להפוך משפטים לתמונות היו ויהיו חוויה ייחודית במהלך עבודתי כמראיינת.

רוזה רוזנשטיין נפטרה בפברואר 2005

לפני המלחמה

את הורי הסבים שלי לא הכרתי. הסבים שלי והוריי נולדו בגליציה.

משפחת אבי נקראה בראב (Braw). הבראבים שעודם בחיים הם כולם בני משפחתי. יש בראף ב-V, ויש גם בראף ב-F, אבל אנחנו כותבים את שמנו ב-W. אחי ערך מחקר קטן והוא טוען שמקור השם בעברית, מן המילה בֵּרַב, כלומר בן הרב.

את הסבים שלי מצד אבא מעולם לא הכרתי, שכן סבתא, רבקה פינדר ((Finder לבית בראב נפטרה עוד לפני שבאתי לעולם. לי קראו על שמה, בגרמנית רוזה וביידיש רבקה. גם את הסבא, צבי פינדר, לא זכיתי להכיר. מספרים שלאחר שאשתו נפטרה מסרטן בגיל 54, הוא נישא לאשה צעירה ועזב את המקום, ולאבי לא היה כל קשר אתו. לפני מותה ביקשה סבתי מאבא שידאג לאחיו ואחיותיו הצעירים.

אבי יעקב בראב, נולד בגורליצה (Gorlice) שבפולין שבקרבת טרנוב (Tarnow) ב-6 ביוני 1881. היו לו שישה אחים ואחיות: גיטל, חנה, גוסטה, צילי, רייזל ונתן.

גיטל נפטרה לפני מלחמת העולם השנייה.

לחנה שנישאה למר פדרמן היו שלושה ילדים: כולם נרצחו בשואה.

לגוסטה שנישאה למר אברשטארק (Eberstark) היו שישה ילדים. כולם נרצחו בשואה.

צילי באה לברלין, הכירה מישהו בשם ויינהאוז (Weinhaus), וב-1914 נסעה יחד אתו לאמריקה. הם נישאו באניה. בניו יורק חלקו השניים חנות עוף עם אחותה רייזל ובעלה. צילי הייתה בת 104 במותה.

רייזל באה עם בעלה מגליציה לברלין. הוא היה אופה במקצועו ושמו היה וינד ((Wind . בברלין נולד בנה יוסף. ב-1915 דרך מקסיקו הגיעו לניו יורק. היא נפטרה בניו יורק.

נתן בא לברלין והיה איש מלא שמחת חיים. הוא נפטר מדלקת ריאות בגיל 26. הוא נקבר בבית הקברות בווייסנזה (Weißensee – רובע בברלין).

סבא מצד אמא, אנג'ל ארתור גולדשטיין ((Angel Arthur Goldstein, נולד בקרבת קרקוב. הוא ניהל חווה. אז היו ליהודים חוות. בעל החווה התגורר בקרקוב וסבי ניהל את החווה בסמוך לקרקוב. אני זוכרת שבבית היה לנו צילום של הסבא עם זקן ארוך ולבן וכיפה על ראשו. סבתי באשה (Bacze) גולדשטיין לבית שיף נולדה בשנת 1850. היו לה שתי פאות שאותן היה עלי להביא לסירוק בגרנדיר-שטראסה  (Grenadirstrasse) בברלין.

אמי גולדה בראב, לבית גולדשטיין נולדה בטרנוב (פולין) ב-1 באוגוסט 1884. היא הייתה בת יחידה לשבעה אחים: יונאס, היינריך, אדולף, הרמן, איגנץ, יניק ונוחם [נחום]. האחים המבוגרים ממנה היו בברלין.

לדוד יונאס, ביידיש יוינה, הייתה בברלין חנות לממכר פסנתרים. אשתו הראשונה נפטרה במגפת השפעת הספרדית. בשנות השלושים, אחרי שעלה היטלר לשלטון עזב את ברלין עם אשתו השנייה ושני ילדיהם ראובן ודורית והיגר לפלשתינה. דורית חיה בתחילה בקיבוץ. אחיה ראובן עזב את הקיבוץ בשנות החמישים המאוחרות והשלים את לימודיו שנקטעו בעקבות ההגירה לפלשתינה. לימים היה לפרופסור לפילוסופיה מודרנית באוניברסיטת תל אביב. הוא נישא לנלי והיו לו שני ילדים.

דורית ובעלה דוד רוס שגם הוא יליד ברלין עברו יחד עם הדוד יוינה ודודה הלה למושב עטרות, צפונית לירושלים. הקיבוץ פונה במהלך מלחמת העצמאות [1948]. המתיישבים פונו ליישוב הטמפלרי וילהלמה [כ-20 ק"מ מזרחה מתל אביב]. לדורית ויעקב שלושה בנים: אילן, גד ואהוד שלהם ילדים ולכמה מהם גם נכדים. יוינה נפטר בשנות ה-50, הלה בשנות ה-80 של המאה הקודמת. יעקב נפטר לפני שנים אחדות ודורית לפני כמה שבועות.

לאדולף היה קיוסק לממכר עיתונים. אדולף ואחיו היינריך עזבו את ברלין עם נשותיהם ובנותיהם והיגרו לקנדה. לראשון הייתה בת יחידה ולשני שתי בנות.

הרמן היה איש יפה תואר. הוא עבד בברלין בבית המלאכה לחייטות של אבא ונישא למיצי, נוצריה שהתגיירה. ב-1926 עזבו לקנדה, שם נפטר בדמי ימיו.

איגנץ היה תחילה לשותף של אבא ואחר כך היה למנהל חווה בפולין. הוא היה נשוי לברשינסקה (Barczszinska) שאותה כינו ברונקה. לבני הזוג לא היו ילדים. ברונקה שרדה את המלחמה במחבוא במנזר. איגנץ נרצח במהלך ניסיון בריחה לבודפשט.

יניק נפל בשבי במהלך מלחמת העולם הראשונה והגיע לסיביר.

נוחם היה צעיר הבנים הוא התנדב לשירות של שנה אחת. הוא מיד זכה לדרגת רב-טוראי, אבל בהתקפת גזים של האויב נקבר תחתיו ונאלץ לשהות תקופה ארוכה בבית חולים. לימים נישא בגליציה.

לסבא ולסבתא מצד אמא התוודעתי כשהייתי בת חמש או שש. הם התגוררו באזור המערבי של גליציה שהשתייך באותם ימים לממלכה האוסטרו-הונגרית; רק ב-1922 הוכרזה גליציה כחלק מפולין. חלקים נרחבים של פולין נשלטו על ידי הקיסרות האוסטרו-הונגרית.

ב-1913 נסענו עם אמא מברלין לגליציה לבקר את הסבא וסבתא. קיבלנו מעילים מאוד יפים, מעילי פפיטה משובצים ומגבעות לבנות שבקצותיהן היו תלויים דובדבנים.

הסבא והסבתא מעולם לא באו לביקור בברלין. ב- 1913 הסבא יצא לשדה לפקח על הקציר ומת ממכת חום. הסבתא נשארה לבד ואמא הביאה אותה לברלין. הסבתא התגוררה אצלנו. אחיה של אמא באו לברלין לבקר את הסבתא. בהזדמנויות אלה קיבלנו מצרכי מזון מצוינים. האח האחד היה מוצב במהלך מלחמת העולם הראשונה ברומניה ושם עוד היה הכול. הוא הביא תרמילים מלאים בקמח ובאורז.

אבא היה חייט שעבד בבית. מאוחר יותר הייתה לנו קונפקציה לגברים, עסק סיטונאי וקמעונאי. אבא לא גויס, במהלך מלחמת העולם הראשונה ארבע פעמים זומן לבדיקות רפואיות ובכל פעם קיבל פטור בגלל דליות נוראיות שהיו לו. וזה היה מזלו. הוא היה בבית ויכול היה לדאוג לנו. הוא נסע אל האיכרים והביא לנו מצרכי מזון, כדי שלא נסבול חרפת רעב. הוא גם ידע להחליף בשבילנו את סוליות הנעליים. גם אמא ידעה לעשות כל דבר. לא סבלנו מרעב. בתקופה מסוימת היה פחות אוכל, ואז אכלנו קולרבי. כל הבית הסריח מזה. הריבה הייתה מקולרבי, וגם הלחם היה מקולרבי.

אמא הייתה מאורסת לאבא במשך תקופה ארוכה. השניים נישאו בשידוך. הם היו קרובי משפחה רחוקים. הורי נישאו בגליציה ב-7 בפברואר 1907. אני באתי לעולם כעבור עשרה חודשים. אני נולדתי ב-25 בדצמבר 1907 בברלין. בתעודת הלידה שלי רשום השם רוזה גולדשטיין, כשם משפחתה של אמא. הורי נישאו תחילה בחתונה יהודית. מתישהו נאלצו להינשא בשנית, אצל רשם הנישואים, שכן אחרת הנישואים לא היו תקפים. מאוחר יותר נרשם בתעודת הלידה שלי: 'יעקב בראב מכיר ברוזה גולדשטיין כבתו. והיא זכאית לשאת את שם האב'. תעודת הלידה עדיין ברשותי.

אחותי בטי הייתה השנייה והיא נולדה ב-1909, ארנה הייתה השלישית, היא נולדה ב-1911 וצילי הייתה הצעירה שבאחיות, היא נולדה ב-1913. אחי ארתור, או ביידיש אנשל היה הבנימין. הוא נולד ב-1915 במהלך מלחמת העולם הראשונה. אנחנו קראנו לו אנשי. בימים אלה הוא בא לבקר אותי עם רעייתו.

חמשת האחים והאחיות קשורים מאוד זה לזה. לכל אחד אופי משלו, אבל אף פעם לא כעסנו האחד על השני. נכון היו בינינו חילוקי דעות, אבל מעולם לא רבנו ממש. זה לא קורה בהרבה משפחות.

בגרמניה ההורים שלי היו זרים. גם אני אף פעם לא הייתי גרמניה. היו לי שלוש אזרחויות, אבל אף פעם לא אזרחות גרמנית. תחילה הייתי אוסטרית. כשנולדתי בברלין הייתי אוסטרית. נולדתי ב-1907, פולין זכתה לעצמאות רק ב-1922. ואז הייתי פולנייה, שכן רשמו אותי על פי ההורים, כי עוד הייתי קטינה. אחר כך נישאתי להונגרי, והייתי להונגרייה, ואחרי המלחמה נישאתי לאוסטרי ושוב הייתי אוסטרית.

אמא בישלה אוכל כשר. בברלין בגרנדיר-שטראסה היו אך ורק חנויות יהודיות. הייתה שם חנות הדגים הכשרה של זוסמן, היו חנויות לממכר עופות וכולם היו כשרות. שם קנו הורי. הכול אצלנו היה כשר. כחול היה חלבי, היו לנו מגבות מטבח עם משבצות כחולות. המגבות עם המשבצות האדומות היו בשריות. גם כלי האוכל סומנו בצורה דומה. את הכלים שטפו בנפרד. מפות השולחן האדומות היו לימי חול, בימים אחרים היו מפות שולחן לבנות. החיים בבית היו יפים מאוד.

כלי המטבח הפסחיים נארזו במזוודה ענקית שהייתה בבוידם. כשהורידו אותה הייתה אווירה מאוד חגיגית. אמא קנתה את האווזים וצלתה אותם בכלי הפסח. לכבד אווז של פסח היה טעם נפלא.

הורי ביקרו בבתי תפילה יהודיים, אחד נקרא 'אהבת צדק' והאחר 'אהבת חיים'. בתי התפילה היו באחת החצרות האחוריים.

בברלין התגוררנו בטמפלינר-שטראסה (Templiner Sraße). הייתה לנו דירת ארבעה חדרים גדולה. השירותים היו בתוך הבית והיה לנו חדר אמבטיה. חדר אמבטיה מאוד פרימיטיבי, אבל הייתה שם אמבטיה ותנור הסקה גדול שאותו הסקנו בעץ כדי לחמם את המים.

אנחנו, ארבע האחיות חלקנו חדר אחד. החדר היה צר ובקצהו חלון. בצד האחד עמדו שתי מיטות בצד השני גם עמדו שתי מיטות וליד הדלת ניצבה שידה גדלה עם מראה. לכל ילדה היה ארון מגרות ובו לבנים וכל מיני קשקושים אחרים. והיה לנו ארון שבו תלינו את השמלות. הבגדים החדשים הגיעו תמיד לחגים, לראש השנה ולפסח. לראש השנה קיבלנו בגדי חורף. מעילים בצבא ב'ז, מקונפקציה. כמובן שמיד קרעתי בצד קרע בצורת משולש. כמובן שתפרו או הטליאו אותו אבל במשך הזמן זה נראה בלוי. ואז שוב קבלנו מעילים חדשים, ואז כבר לבשתי את המעיל הישן של אחותי, כי שלי כבר לא היה נראה טוב. אמא כעסה עליי. אני בכלל לא התייחסתי לבגדים. ואז היא אמרה לי: רוזה, אם לכל הפחות היית עומדת עוד חמש דקות לפני המראה. אמא נהגה לומר לי: "את היית צריכה להיות בן, איך אפשר כך לקרוע את הבגדים?" אני תמיד קיבלתי אותם בגדים כמו אחותי. הבגדים שלה תלו בארון חצי שנה, בכל פעם הוציאה משהו ושאלה אותי: "מוצא חן בעינייך?" ואז שבה ותלתה את זה בארון. כשהחלה ללבוש את הדברים שלה, שלי כבר היו גמורים, פשוט סמרטוטים. אני לא הקפדתי על השיער, וגם לא על הלבוש. העיקר שהחצאית הייתה רחבה דיה, ושהנעליים לא לוחצות כדי שאוכל לרוץ. לספר הלכתי רק אחרי שסיפרו אותי קצר וגם זה רק בגלל העבודה בחנות של אבא. לפני כן היו לנו צמות ארוכות שקלעו לנו בבוקר לפני שהלכנו לבית הספר. אבא הכין את ארוחת הבוקר שלקחנו אתנו. אמא שעבדה יחד אתו בחנות הייתה צריכה לנוח. ואז ניגשנו למיטה של אמא והיא קלעה לנו את הצמות. 

אחי ישן על ספה בחדר הקטן, חדר קדמי שפנה לרחוב. בחדר שלו היו גם שולחן כתיבה, וכורסה גדולה שניצבה ליד תנור הלבנים. באותם ימים לכולם היו תנורי לבנים. את התנור הסקנו בחורף בעצמנו.

משרתות [אומנות] היו לנו רק כשהיינו קטנים, כי אמא עזרה לאבא בבית המלאכה. לאחת המשרתות קראו אלזה ולאחרת אֶמָה. שתיהן היו מחבל פומרניה. המשרתת גרה אצלנו, אבל הייתה לה רק מיטה. אז זה היה פרימיטיבי למדי. הבחורות הגיעו מן הכפר ושמחו שביכולתן להתקיים. אמה השתייכה לכת שומרי השבת 1. היא הלכה לעבוד רק אצל יהודים. שבת היה יום המנוחה שלה, בימי ראשון עבדה. שומרי השבת גם אינם אוכלים בשר חזיר.

אני ביקרתי בבית ספר יהודי לבנות, היום היו קוראים לזה 'מכללה לבנות'. למדנו צרפתית כמקצוע חובה ואנגלית הייתה מקצוע בחירה. מובן שהייתי עצלה מדי כדי ללמוד אנגלית, ולכן למדתי רק צרפתית. אז עוד לא היו לימודי יסוד וחטיבת ביניים. הלימודים החלו בכיתה התשיעית והתקדמו לעבר הכיתה הראשונה. הכיתה התשיעית הייתה בעצם כיתה א', והכיתה הראשונה הייתה האחרונה. לכיתות העליונות קראנו ליצאום – גימנסיה.  

לא היה לי כל קשר עם נוצרים, גם לא להוריי. כן היו קשרים עסקיים אבל לא במישור האישי. אבל הייתה לי חברת ילדות נוצרייה שהתגוררה באותו בית. ליוויתי אותה כשהלכה לכנסייה לווידוי.

שלוש שעות שבועיות למדנו אצל הד"ר זלביגר (Selbiger) תנ"ך וקריאת עברית. למדנו לקרוא אותיות דפוס לא אותיות כתב. ידעתי את כל התפילות. גם אני הייתי צריכה להתפלל. סבתא עמדה על המשמר. השכם בבוקר התפללנו תפילת מודים אנחנו לפניך ובערב תפילת אל מלא רחמים, זאת הייתה תפילת הערבית.

גם אחיותיי ביקרו באותו בית ספר. אחר כך נאלצתי לעזוב את בית הספר. הורי החליטו עבורי. הם הכתיבו כמה שנים אלמד בבית הספר ואחר כך עברתי לבית הספר למסחר, כי אבא נזקק לעזרתי בעסק. תחילה נשלחתי לחברה אחרת למעין תקופת התמחות. הייתה לנו מזכירה יהודייה, היא נישאה ואני הייתי צריכה למלא את מקומה. הייתה לנו גם חנות קמעונאית להלבשת גברים. אני הייתי במתפרה, ואחותי בטי, שביקרה גם היא בבית הספר למסחר שבו למדתי, עבדה אחר כך בחנות הקמעונאית.

בבית הספר למסחר צריך היה ללמוד הכול תוך שישה חודשים: הדפסה, קצרנות, ניהול ספרים, והכול במהירות עצומה. למדו אתי גם צעירים בני 20 ואני הייתי בת 15, והייתי טובה מהם. אמא מעולם לא באה לבית הספר כדי להתעניין או לשאול איך אני לומדת. לא היו תלונות.

עבור העבודה בעסק של אבא קיבלתי 100 מרק דמי כיס. אפילו לא היה לי ביטוח בריאות. אם היה לי אז ביטוח בריאות היום הייתי מקבלת קצבה אחרת מגרמניה. אחותי לעומת זאת עבדה בפרקליטות, היא מקבלת קצבה מכובדת מממשלת גרמניה.

תמיד היינו ציוניים. אחי, למשל היה כבר בגיל 14 חבר בתנועת נוער ציונית-סוציאליסטית ולבש את החולצות הכחולות של התנועה .

כל אחיותיי היו חברות בארגונים יהודיים בעלי נטיות ציוניות. היו גם יהודים גרמנים שאמרו: 'אלוהים אדירים, מה יש לנו לחפש שם, גרמניה היא מולדתנו'. אבל לא אנחנו. אנחנו הרי היינו פולנים. אני הייתי בבר כוכבא אגודת התעמלות יהודית. אגודה יהודית שחלקה ספורט ובידור. בקיץ התאמנו בגרינוואלד באתלטיקה קלה ובחורף עברה הפעילות לאולם התעמלות. אני לא העזתי לטפס על המקבילים או להלך בשיווי משקל על הקורה, אבל נהניתי ממחניים ומשחקי כדור אחרים.

בארגונים היהודיים רכשתי לי חברים והכרתי גם בנים. בשבועות למשל יצאנו לטבע. הייתה שם רכבת שנסעה עד לפרנקפורט על נהר אוֹדֶר, נסענו במחלקה השלישית או הרביעית ואפשר היה לשבת על הרצפה או על התרמיל, ולשכב על שמיכה. נסענו בלילה, זה היה מרגש. ישנו לשפת אגם, בנים ובנות. לילות אחדים ישנו באסמים אצל האיכרים. הייתה לי חברה קרובה בשם מרטה שתמיד הייתה לצדי. לברלין יש אגמים נהדרים. בכל יום רביעי יצאנו לשוט בסירות פדלים וגם חתרנו בסירות משוטים. לא ידעתי לשחות אבל חתרנו. שלוש פעמים התחלתי בלימודי שחיה; אחרי הפעם השלישית ויתרתי. בפעם הראשונה החזיק אותי המורה במוט, ואני הייתי צריכה לעשות את התנועות. בפעם השנייה קיבלתי קרש, והייתי צריכה לדחוף את הקשר קדימה. בסוף המורה אמר: 'עכשיו בלי קרש'. את זה לא עשיתי. הייתי פחדנית. אני מודה ומתוודה הייתי פחדנית. ככה זה בחיים.

בקיץ ההורים שלי שכרו דירת נופש. כשהיינו קטנות בילינו את חופשת הקיץ הראשונה בפיכטנאו (Fichtenau) שלחוף אחד האגמים. לקחנו אתנו את המיטות ואת כלי האוכל והבישול. אבא הגיע רק בסופי שבוע. הוא עבד ואנחנו היינו יחד עם אמא. אמא בישלה ואכלנו בדיוק כמו בבית, מרק עם אטריות.

היה לנו כל מה שצריך. האוכל היה מצוין, קנינו רק מן הסחורה הטובה והיפה ביותר; את האווזים צלו. לפעמים החלפתי כריכים עם חברי לספסל הלימודים. המרתי כריך חמאה וגבינה בכריך מרוח בשומן אווז. כלום לא חסר לנו.

אבא עשה הכול בשביל בנותיו. אחותי תמיד חוזרת ואומרת לי: מה את רוצה, את היית בת הטיפוחים של אבא. אבא היה אדם טוב. הוא עשה הכול רק בשביל אשתו וילדיו. הוא לא עישן והוא לא שתה. רק השכם בבוקר, לפני שהלך לבית המלאכה, שתה כוסית סליבוביץ [יי"ש משזיפים] כוסית סליבוביץ לארוחת בוקר. לפעמים כשאמא שאלה: "יעקב, מה להכין לארוחת הצהריים?" ענה: "את יודעת מה? בשבילי הכי טוב אורז בחלב עם סוכר וקינמון." כזה הוא היה. ואנחנו נאלצנו לאכול חזה בקר מעושן שנקנה אצל זוסמן בגרנדיר-שטראסה. וככה זה היה גם עם ביגוד. כשאמא אמרה לו: "יעקב אתה צריך נעליים חדשות. אתה צריך כבר חליפה אחרת", תמיד התנגד. אבל כשאני ביקשתי משהו, קיבלתי הכול.

אבא העריץ את אמא ונשא אותה על כפיים. אמא הייתה תולעת ספרים. היא ביקרה רק שנה אחת בבית הספר בגליציה. היו לה שבעה אחים וכולם למדו. סבא אמר שבת צריכה רק לדעת לכתוב את שמה, לדעת לאפות לחם, לבשל ולחבוץ חמאה. הם גדלו בכפר וזה הספיק. אמא סיפרה לי שהדבר הראשון שקנתה לעצמה בברלין היו ספרים של גרילפארצר (Grillparzer) [פרנץ גרילפארצר, סופר ומחזאי אוסטרי 1872-1791]. סדרה שלמה של ספרים מפרי עטו. לימים היא גם עבדה בברלין. קרוא וכתוב לימדה את עצמה. בבית הייתה לנו ממש ספריה. היה לנו עובד, איש מבוגר יותר ואנחנו היינו ארבע בנות בבית. ואותו עובד תמיד אמר לנו: בין חמשת הבנות בבית בראב האמא היא החכמה והיפה מכולן. כשנאלצנו לעזוב אחרי עליית היטלר לשלטון, נשבר לי הלב בגלל הספרים שנאלצנו להשאיר.

עד ליום נישואיי גרתי אצל ההורים. בדומה לאבא, גם בעלי הראשון היה חייט, אך בראש ובראשונה היה הונגרי. אני עבדתי בעסק של אבא שהיה בבניין תעשייה שבו היו חלונות גדולים. שולחן הכתיבה שלי עמד אצל החלון. ממול הייתה מתפרה לבגדי גברים. אצל מכונת התפירה ישב עלם צעיר ויפה תואר. לעתים קרובות החלפנו חיוכים. אני לא ידעתי מי הוא, והוא לא ידע מי אני. לפתע הגיע מישהו – באותם ימים נהגו הסוחרים לעבור מחנות לחנות – והביא לי חבילה, קילו דברי מתיקה: זה מהאיש הצעיר ממול. כך זה התחיל. אני כמובן קיבלתי את החבילה והודיתי.

אז עוד לא מלאו לי 18. שמחתי, למה לא, אבל תמיד עבדתי עד מאוחר. כשעובדים אצל אבא, אי אפשר לסיים את יום העבודה בחמש. אמא תמיד דיברה עם אבא בטלפון ואמרה לו: "מתי כבר תשלח את הילדה הביתה?" אני הייתי צריכה לתפור כפתורים, לעזור באריזה של המשלוחים; ללוות את העובדים לתחנת הרכבת כשצריך היה לשלוח את החבילות ברכבת. כן לעשות את כל זה.

אנחנו תפרנו בגדי גברים וגם מכרנו אותם. במשך תקופה מסוימת הייתה לנו שתי חנויות קמעונאיות. האחת הייתה בנוי-קלן (Neukölln) בהרמן-שטראסה (Hermanstraße) והאחרת בפינת נויה פרידריך שטראסה וקלוסטר-שטראסה. אז מכרו הרבה בהקפה ובתשלומים, כי האנשים היו עניים. לדוגמה, חליפה עלתה 35 מרקים. לקונה הונפק כרטיס שעליו היה רשום 10 מרק, זה היה הסכום שגבו. אחותי הנפיקה את הכרטיסים וגבתה את הכסף. בחנויות הקמעונאיות היו פחות לקוחות יהודיים, אבל בחנויות הסיטונאיות היה קהל לקוחות יהודי גדול שקנה חליפות בכמויות. אלה היו אנשים מחוץ לעיר. החבילות נשלחו לאסן, לדיסלדורף, לדיסבורג. היה לנו גם נציג שהחזיק דוגמאות בדים ובגדים.  

פעם הקדמתי ללכת הביתה. הייתי בחנות בפינת נויה פרידריך שטראסה וקלוסטר שטראסה, וחציתי את ההאקישן מרקט ((Hackischen Markt בדרכי לחנות ספרים גדולה ברוזנטלר-שטראסה. התבוננתי בספרים. אני קניתי ספרים, שאלתי ספרים, קראתי בספריות השאלה... רק ספרים. כאמור עמדתי והסתכלתי בספרים ומאחורי שמעתי לפתע קול, מישהו דיבר באטיות: "זה יפפפה?"' הסתובבתי והאיש עמד למולי. גם הוא הלך באותה דרך. הוא התגורר אצל אחותו. הוא שאל אם הוא יכול ללוות אותי, כי זה גם הכיוון שלו. ואני אמרתי: "בבקשה". התברר שהוא האחיין של בעלי העסק שבו הוא עבד ואני בתו של בעל העסק שממול. הוא חשב שאני רק מועסקת במקום וגם אני חשבתי שהוא רק אחד מן העובדים. קראו לו מקסימילאן וייס ((Maximilian Weisz ואנחנו קראנו לו מיחי. הוא נולד ב-30 בנובמבר 1904 בניטרה ((Nitra. זאת הייתה ההתחלה.

הוא ליווה אותי פעמים אחדות ואחר כך הזמין אותי. זה היה תמיד במוצאי שבת, כי במהלך השבוע לא היה לנו זמן. נקודת המפגש הייתה בשדרות שנהאוזר (Schönhauser Allee ) בתחנת התחתית שבפינת שוודטר-שטראסה ((Schwedterstraße. התלבשתי יפה, התאפרתי וקודם לכן הלכתי לספר. מאז שהתחלתי לעבוד אצל אבא, בכל שבת הלכתי לספר. ההורים ידעו שאני יוצאת לפגישה עם בחור ואמא אמרה לי: "תזדרזי קצת, לכי כבר, את ממש מאחרת!". ואני אמרתי: "אם הוא רציני, הוא יחכה". ירדתי ואיש לא היה שם. חשבתי לעצמי, מה לעשות איחרתי. הסתכלתי סביבי, חלפו עוד חמש דקות ולפתע הגיע בריצה, כולו מתנשף. מה קרה? אני התנצלתי על האיחור, אבל הוא חשב שאני מחכה בתחנה אחרת, אז הוא רץ עוד תחנה ואחר כך חזר אל התחנה שבה חיכיתי.

בטירגארטן ((Tiergarten הייתה מסעדה שנקראה Schottenhamel. מקום מאוד אלגנטי והוא אמר שהוא עוד לא אכל ארוחת ערב. נדמה לי שנסענו עם התחתית עד לתחנת וילהלם-שטראסה, בחלק העליון של שדרות לינדן. נכנסנו. המקום היה מאוד אלגנטי, אבל אני אכלתי רק אוכל כשר. הוא הזמין צלחת בשרים ואני קפה ועוגה. אני לא אוכל שום טרפה. אמרתי לו שאני אוכלת כשר ולא ידעתי איפה יש מסעדה כשרה. הורי לא ביקרו במסעדות. וניגנו שם גם מוסיקה.

כשהתארסתי קיבלתי שלוש שמלות יפהפיות. שמלת סטן שחורה בשילוב סטן לבן. שמלת קרפ דה שין כחולה לבנה ושמלת כותנה בכחול כהה ובורדו. בסמרטוטים שלבשתי הרי לא יכולתי לצאת אתו. את השמלות תפרו לי בסלון תפירה אלגנטי.

את ארוסי קיבלו במשפחה כמו בן. הוא עבד בחריצות וגם אני עבדתי בחריצות. יצאנו רק בסופי שבוע. בינתיים חלפו שבעה או שמונה חודשים. הורי אמרו שזה לא רציני, שהם לא מרשים לי סתם להסתובב אתו, שזה עלול להוציא לי שם רע. זה היה בחגים. בראש השנה וביום כיפור ההורים הלכו לבית הכנסת וגם אני הייתי בבית הכנסת. מובן שבחגים לא עבדו אצלנו.

גם מקסימילאן לא עבד, משום שהדוד שלו היה יהודי ובחברה לא עבדו. הוא בא לבקר אותי בבית הכנסת. זה היה מקום המפגש של הצעירים שעמדו בחבורות בחוץ. הורי הזמינו אותו לקפה בראש השנה. באו גם שני אחים של אמא עם נשותיהם. ישבנו ופטפטנו ולפתע ביקש מאתנו אבא לצאת לחדר הסמוך. אבא והדודים ביקשו ממיחי להצטרף אליהם. אני לא הבנתי מה קרה. לא עבר זמן רב והם באו מחויכים וצוהלים ומיחי זרח כולו. ואז אמרו לי שהם שאלו אותו על רצינות כוונותיו, שכן אין זה נאה להסתובב זמן כה רב והדבר עלול להוציא לי שם רע. והוא אמר שבכוונתו להינשא לי. והכול בא על מקומו. ואני מאוד כעסתי על ההתנהגות שלהם.

היו לי לא מעט מחזרים. היה למשל קרוב משפחה מפולין שביקש את ידי. הוא היה מבוגר ממני בשמונה שנים. כשהגיע בפעם האחרונה לביקור בברלין אני הייתי ילדה בת ארבע עשרה. כשעזב הייתי בת חמש עשרה. לפעמים לקח אותי לקרקס ולפעמים לאופרטה, להצגת אחר הצהריים. לאביו היו אטליז ועסק לממכר סוסים ב-Oswieczim – אושוויץ שבפולין – אלה היו מקורות הפרנסה של היהודים בפרובינציה. הוא נאלץ לחזור הביתה משום שהיה הבן היחיד. וכשנפרדנו אמר לי : "רוזה כשימלאו לך 18 נינשא." ואני שלא ידעתי לסתום את הפה אמרתי: כמובן.

מתישהו הגיע מכתב שהיה מיועד אלי אבל נשא את מענו של אבא. והוא שאל האם אני זוכרת שהגיע המועד, שכן עתה כבר מלאו לי 18. הייתי מאוד גאה במכתב. ועניתי לו. כתבתי שאני מקבלת את ההצעה אבל דברים משתנים. שבינתיים חלפו שלוש שנים, אני השתניתי, הוא השתנה, ושנינו וודאי נראים אחרת לחלוטין ועד כהנה וכהנה. והוא שוב כתב לי וביקש שאשלח לו תמונה, והוא גם שלח לי תמונה שלו. שלחתי לו תמונת דרכון שבה שערותיי סומרות. הוא כתב שהתמונה לא מראה הרבה, ואני עניתי שאם יש לו כוונות רציניות שיבוא לברלין. הוא בכלל לא מצא חן בעיני. אבל זה החמיא לי ואני ראיתי את המציאות נכוחה. הוא היה שידוך טוב. באותם ימים הייתי מאוד מפוכחת, בכלל לא היה לי דמיון.

ואז הגיעה התשובה. הוא אינו יכול לבוא משום שאין לו דרכון, שאני אבוא. כבר הייתי בדרכי להוציא דרכון כשאמא התערבה. והיא אמרה לי: "רוזה, את שגדלת בברלין, את עם כל הידע שלך, את רוצה להינשא לפולני ולגור בפולין?" אז כבר הייתה פולניה. "את לא יודעת אף מילה פולנית. את רוצה לגור בעיירה קטנה ולשרת לקוחות באטליז?"

כבר לא עניתי לו. ואז כבר הייתי מאוהבת בחבר נעוריי סמי. גרנו באותו בית. הכרנו כשאני הייתי בת עשר או אחת עשרה והוא היה מבוגר ממני בארבע שנים. אז הוא תמיד חלף על פני ביוהרה ואני עוד שיחקתי עם בובות. כשהייתי כמעט בת שמונה עשרה גם הוא התאהב בי. הוא הרים אותי ונשק לי בכל מקום שבו יכול היה לתפוס אותי. פעם היינו בחופשת קיץ הוא היה עוד צעיר. סמי רצה לשכב אתי. אחותו הייתה חברה שלי, ילדה יפהפייה, בדיוק בגילי. ואני אמרתי לו: "סמי מה היית אומר אם אחותך נינה, הייתה עושה את זה?" והוא ענה: "היא לא עושה דברים כאלה." באותו רגע זה נגמר. אני אפילו לא הסתכלתי לעברו. הייתה לו אזרחות אמריקאית, הוא והאחים שלו נולדו בארצות הברית. הוריו היו באמריקה וחזרו לגרמניה. וכעבור חודשיים הוא נעלם. הוא נסע לאמריקה. אני לא יודעת אם הוא חי, הוא צריך להיות כבר בן 100. אני לא יודעת האם הוא ידע למה זה נגמר. אני הייתי נערה מאוד גאה.

בעיני זה לא מצא חן מה שאבא והדודים שלי עשו עם מיחי. אבל הוא זרח ואני הייתי מאוד נבוכה, אבל בהמשך הערב עוד הלכנו לקולנוע. זה הכול התרחש בחודש נובמבר וב-30 בנובמבר היה לו יום הולדת. אני עוד זוכרת שב-25 בדצמבר היה לי יום הולדת והוא נתן לי צלחת קריסטל מהממת. זו הייתה הצלחת הראשונה שקיבלתי וביני לבין עצמי חשבתי צלחת? צלחת קריסטל כמתנת יום הולדת? אבל הליטוש היה יפהפה. מיחי היה נדיב מאוד ואני זכיתי למתנות לעתים קרובות.

ואז הייתה חגיגת אירוסין על פי כל כללי הטקס היהודי. זה היה ב-8 במרץ 1928. לטקס האירוסין באו אמו ואחותו מבודפשט. היינו שמונים איש. אז הייתה לנו דירת ארבעה חדרים, שלושה חדרים פונו. אמא הכינה לבדה את ארוחת הערב. היו לי חברות וכולם הגיעו, קיבלתי המון מתנות. זו הייתה ממש חגיגה גדולה. בחדר האחרון תלו את המעילים. אחד החניכים מבית המלאכה עזר לתלות את המעילים. אני זוכרת שהיה דג ואחר כך מרק והיו גם פארפל [פתיתים אפויים] ונטיפי בצק מקמח מלא וביצים (Tarhonya) עם עוף ועוד כל מיני תוספות. שנים רבות קודם לכן אמא הכינה שימורי דובדבנים חמוצים ביי"ש שמהם התכוננה להכין ליקר. לרגל המאורע היא קנתה עוד אלכוהול ובו השרתה את הדובדבנים. והיא אמרה שבחגיגה המשפחתית הראשונה ישתו את הליקר. וזה לקח כמה שנים טובות.

במהלך תקופת הארוסין סרגתי כריות ספה מיוחדות במסרגה אחת ובשתי מסרגות ולארוסין קיבלתי מחברותי מתנות בעבודות יד.

ואז מיחי פתח עסק עצמאי. שכן קודם לכן עבד אצל דודו. הוא קנה וגם שכר מכונות. באותם ימים הייתה מצוקת דיור. הוא עבד יחד עם גיסו ואני אמרתי שזה אפשרי כל עוד אנחנו לא נשואים. אחר כך אני אהיה השותפה – וכך זה היה.

אני הייתי הראשונה שנישאה ואני גם הייתי הבכורה. ואפילו עוד לא הייתי בוגרת.  בהונגריה אתה נחשב לבוגר רק כשאתה בן עשרים וארבע, וכשהוא הגיש את בקשת הנישואים עוד לא מלאו לו עשרים וארבע. הוא היה זר, וגם אני הייתי זרה ובגרמניה הקפידו הקפדה יתרה. אני לפי ארץ מוצאי הייתי פולנייה. ממני דרשו מסמך כשירות לנישואין מפולין. אנחנו מסרנו את העניין לעורכי דין והם טיפלו בכול. היה רצוי שיהיה לך כסף שאם לא כן לא היה סוף להתרוצצויות.

אחר כך נישאנו. אני התעקשתי על בית הכנסת הגדול באורניינבורגר-שטראסה.  הלכנו ללייפציגר-שטראסה כדי לקנות את התחרה בשביל שמלת הכלולות. בלייפציגר-שטראסה הייתה גם החנות הנהדרת לבדי משי 'מיכלס'. שם קנינו את ההינומה שהייתה רקומה. צריך היה להזמין את הפרחים, את זר הכלה וענפי ההדס לקשירת הזר, את המסעדה ואת האוכל. באלכסנדר פלאץ היה בית הכלבו הגדול 'Tietz ' אבל לפני זה היה ה-Kupfergraben ושם הייתה מסעדה כשרה. ממול הייתה ה-גרנדיר-שטראסה והרובע היהודי, שם הייתה המסעדה שבה הזמנו את האוכל.

הנישואין האזרחיים אצל רשם הנישואין היו רק הליך רשמי שהתקיים שבעה שבועות לפני החתונה היהודית. ואני המשכתי לחתום בשם נעוריי. לא עלה בדעתי שאני בעצם כבר נשואה. העדים בטקס הנישואין האזרחיים היו אביו ודודו של מיחי. מיד לאחר הטקס הלכנו לעבודה. ואז הגיע יום החתונה האמיתית. הלכתי למקווה. בת הדודה של אמי סחבה אותי לשם. החתונה הייתה ביום ראשון ובמוצאי שבת הלכתי למקווה, בשבת אחר הצהריים ולפנות ערב באו אלי הביתה כל החברות שלי. היה שמח, ארוסי גם היה ואני נאלצתי ללכת למקווה. הבלנית בדקה לי את הציפורניים, לראות אם הן מלוכלכות ואני נאלצתי לטבול.

לפני טקס הנישואין נסענו לצלם שהיה בתחילת שדרות שנהאוזר. הצלם היה ממוצא רוסי, שמו היה פרגמנצ'יק והוא נחשב לאחד הצלמים הטובים ביותר. כשהיטלר עלה לשלטון פרגמנצ'יק נסע לפלשתינה וגם שם היה לו סטודיו לצילום.

בית הכנסת ברחוב אורניינבורג היה בית הכנסת היפה ביותר בברלין ואפילו היו שאמרו שהוא היפה שבבתי הכנסת בכל אירופה. היו אנשים שהוזמנו רק לחופה ואחרים שהיו מוזמנים רק לארוחה במסעדה. שני זוגות צריכים להוביל את הכלה אל חופתה, הם נקראים המובילים. מן הצד שלי היו הורי ומצדו של מיחי אחותו וגיסו שהתגוררו בברלין. שתי ילדות, בנותיה של חברה, פיזרו פרחים. כולם היו לבושים בהידור. ואז באנו אנחנו, שני ילדים נשאו את שובל השמלה ואחריהם צעדה חבורת החתונה. ארבע חברותי לבשו שמלות מהודרות בצבע ירקרק, תכלת, סגלגל וורוד.

הגיע תורו של הטקס, אבל קודם צריך היה להציג את תעודת הנישואין האזרחיים. זה היה החוק בגרמניה, שכן הגרמנים לא הכירו בטקסט הנישואין היהודי למרות שאוסטריה וצ'כוסלובקיה הכירו בטקס הנישואין היהודי כטקס נישואין לכל דבר. שם היהודים כבר לא נדרשו להינשא אצל רשם הנישואין. לכן זוגות רבים שחסרו להם כל מיני מסמכים נסעו להינשא ב'צכוסלובקיה.

את שובל השמלה נשאו שני בנים צעירים שהיו לבושים בבגדי מלחים ורבו ביניהם. הם היו בני חמש. האחד היה אחייני לעתיד והשני בן של חברתי. השניים משכו את השובל כל אחד לצד אחר. ואני ניסיתי להחזיק בשובל.

אחרי הטקס נסענו לארוחה. המסעדה הייתה בקופפרגראבן קרוב מאוד לאלכסנדר-שטראסה. הבית השכן הייתה חנות הכלבו 'טיץ'. אחד האורחים היה בעל בית דפוס לספרים וכמתנת חתונה העניק לנו את ההזמנות לחתונה וכרטיסי הישיבה למסעדה. כל שאר המתנות היו מתנות חתונה אופייניות לאותם ימים. היום עורכים רשימות. קיבלתי שמיכה לספה, שמיכה לכסא נוח שאותה יש לי עד היום. קיבלתי שטיחונים למיטה, שמיכות פוך וקריסטלים. האוכל היה טעים. את הדגים הכינה אמא, קרפיון בנוסח פולני עם קריש וחלות. בחוץ היה קר והמלצרים לא הראו כל חשק לשרת; צריך היה לדרבן אותם. היו רק שניים או שלושה מלצרים. אחרי האוכל אמורים היו לרקוד, היו לא מעט צעירים. אבל המוסיקה הייתה זוועתית. אחיה של חברתי היה פסנתרן מעולה והוא יכול היה לנגן הכול בע"פ, בלי תווים. אחר כך הוא התיישב ליד הפסנתר וניגן, ואז אפשר היה להתחיל לרקוד.

אחר כך נסענו לדירה שלנו שהייתה מסודרת ומרוהטת למשעי. מצאנו דירה באלטן שנהאוזר שטראסה, שהייתה פעם תחנת משטרה. המקום שימש לנו למגורים ולעבודה. הדירה הייתה גדולה, היה לנו חדר עבודה ענקי עם שלושה חלונות לחצר האחורית, והיה לי חדר שינה יפה גם הוא כמובן עם חלונות לחצר. אבא הלך אתי לקנות וכך יכולנו לבחור ריהוט יפה לחדר השינה במקום שמכר בסיטונות. בעל החנות סיפר לי שמוסיקאי אחד קנה בדיוק אותו חדר שינה. זה היה ממהגוני, מהגוני מאוד כהה בשיבוץ כסף. וקיבלתי גם ריהוט יפה לחדר האוכל. וגם בית המלאכה כבר היה מוכן. במקום כבר ניצבו מכונות הגזירה; בעלי כבר עבד בדירה. חלק ממתנות החתונה גם כבר ניצבו בדירה.

ולסיום ליל הכלולות. ובבוקר שמעתי רעש של מפתחות בדלת הכניסה. בעלי קפץ מן המיטה, לבש מכנסיים ורץ החוצה. זה היה אבי! הוא רצה להסיק את החדר כדי שיהיה חם ונעים כשאתעורר. ואפילו את חדר השינה הוא הסיק. ואמא שלי רתחה מכעס.

ב-10 בדצמבר 1929 נולדה בתנו בסי. היא באה לעולם עשרה חודשים אחרי החתונה. ב-10 בפברואר נישאתי וב-10 בדצמבר היא נולדה. שנינו היינו מאוד צעירים, אבל הורי תמכו ועמדו לצדי. בששת השבועות הראשונים הייתי אצל הורי. בעלי נשאר בדירה שלנו. הוא בא אלינו ואני נסעתי אליו. במשך היום נסעתי לשם ועזרתי לו קצת בעבודה. הילדה הייתה אצל הורי. ידעתי שעלי לחזור כעבור שלוש שעות כדי להאכיל את הילדה. הדרך לא ארכה יותר מעשר דקות.

אבא נאלץ לפנות את חדר השינה ואני אמא והילדה ישנו יחד בחדר. אצל ההורים לא הייתה לנו מיטת תינוק, והתינוקת ישנה בינינו.  בבית הייתה לבסי מיטת תינוק לבנה ויפה ועגלה לבנה שאותה קיבלתי במתנה מאחותי. אבא לא הרשה לי לצאת עם התינוקת, היה קר מאוד. הוא הרשה לי לצאת רק כעבור שישה שבועות וגם אז רק כאשר הוא ליווה אותי. כשנולדה בתי השנייה לילי אבא אמר: "יש לי שש בנות".

כשמלאו לבסי שנתיים וחצי נסעתי אתה להונגריה כדי לבקר את המחותנים שלי ואת קרובי המשפחה של בעלי. בעלי נשאר בברלין. הוא לא יכול היה לעזוב את בית המלאכה.

לחמי הייתה מאפייה. המשפחה גרה באויפסט, פרבר של בודפשט. בין אויפסט ומרכז העיר מפרידות עשרים דקות נסיעה בחשמלית. בודפשט היא עיר נהדרת. בצד האחד שוכנת העיר העתיקה ובצד השני העיר המודרנית ורובעי המסחר. היו בעיר בתי קפה מצוינים. אפשר היה לשבת על גדות הדנובה, שטנו בספינת קיטור, ההרגשה הייתה טובה מאוד. ואז חזרתי לברלין; לדרך ארזו לי גם אווז יפה, כבד אווז וסלמי. אז עוד נסעו ברכבות והנסיעה מבודפשט לברלין נמשכה עשרים שעות. לברלין חזרתי ברכבת האוריינט אקספרס.

הגעתי וכמובן נתקבלתי בשמחה רבה, וכעבור תשעה חודשים, ב-6 במאי 1933 באה לעולם בתי השנייה לילי. בעצם לא רציתי, אני רציתי רק ילד אחד. באותם ימים ילד אחד, זה היה צו האופנה. כל חברותי, גיסתי, אחות בעלי לכולן היה רק ילד אחד. אחותו של בעלי רצתה לעזור לי. היא אמרה לי לשתות תה ולטבול באמבט חם ואחר כך לקפוץ מן השולחן, אבל זה לא עזר. ואז סיפרתי לאמי שאני בהריון והיא לא חסכה ממני את דעתה: "מה זה צריך להיות? את רוצה לאמלל את עצמך? אז מה ילד שני? למה את לא רוצה את התינוק? הפרש הגילים מושלם". אבל אם אין די בזה, היא סיפרה את זה לבת שלי כשזו הייתה גדולה. והיא שבה ואמרה לי: "אותי את לא רצית."

בעלי שבבית הוריו בבודפשט לא שמרו על כשרות התאים את עצמו אלי. לשמור על כשרות זה בעצם לא היה קשה, אפשר היה להשיג הכול. בגרנדיר-שטראסה, דרגונר-שטראסה ומולאק-שטראסה היו אך ורק חנויות יהודיות ויהודים דתיים. היה שם יהודי דתי אחד שעליו אמרו שהוא בעל תשובה משום שבנעוריו התהולל עם בחורות, הסתובב עם נערות נוצריות, פשוט נורא ואיום. ואחר כך הוא התחתן וחזר בתשובה, הוא רק לבש את המעיל השחור הארוך [קפוטה] וגרביים לבנים וגידל זקן. והוא גם היה ג'ינג'י. היו לו שישה ילדים והוא התגורר בגרנדיר-שטראסה שהייתה המרכז של יהודי מזרח אירופה בברלין.  כאן דיברו יידיש ופולנית. כאן אפשר היה למצוא חנויות יד שנייה, אטליזים, חנויות דגים, חנויות ירקות, מאפיות ומסעדות יהודיות. אני ובעלי הרבינו לבקר במסעדות אהבנו לאכול קישקע ופארפל ושם זה היה טעים מאוד. פארפל זה כמו פסטה, טרהוניה אלה נטיפי בצק מקמח מלא וביצים, קישקע זה מעי ממולא, מעי בקר נקי שאותו מילאו בעיסה מקמח, שומן קצת סולת, מלח ופלפל וקמצוץ שום. את הקישקע בישלו או צלו יחד עם הטרהוניה. מכינים בצק, בצק קשה שאותו מגרדים בפומפייה. והפתיתים לא שווים בגודלם, יש קטנים ויש גדולים שאותם מטגנים בשמן. יש לזה טעם גן עדן, גם אני בישלתי את זה אינספור פעמים.

בגיפס-שטראסה היה גן ילדים יהודי, ובאוגוסטס- שטראסה היה בית ספר עממי יהודי. מנהלת בית הספר היהודי הייתה מורה שלי בחטיבת הביניים. הבאתי אליה את בתי בסי והיא אמרה לי: "את כבר מביאה לי את בתך?". היינו רק ארבע בנות בבית הספר ואת זה לא ממהרים לשכוח.

אחותי בטי שצעירה ממני רק בשנה היא ההפך הגמור ממני. היא לא פטפטנית כמוני, והיא לא משה ממני, היא באה אתי לכל מקום. שלושה חודשים אחרי החתונה נסעתי עם בעלי, כי לא יצאנו לירח דבש. בחג השבועות נסענו לחמישה ימים וכבר למחרת הגיעה אחותי. היא ישנה אתנו באותו חדר.

לאחי קראו אנשל, כמו לרוטשילד, ובגרמנית ארתור. שם החיבה שלו היה אנשי. הוא היה מקסים והוא מקסים עד היום. הוא היה ציוני מלידה. בברלין היה חבר בתנועת השומר הצעיר 2. אבא אמר שעליו ללמוד, אבל אנשי טען שפלשתינה אינה זקוקה לרופאים ולדוקטורים, את פלשתינה יש לבנות ולכן צריך איכרים. הוא עזב את התיכון אחרי שנתיים ועבר להתגורר עם אנשי התנועה, אני חושבת שזו הייתה תנועת הבונים, ואחר כך הם היגרו לפלשתינה. אני באתי לתחנת הרכבת כדי להיפרד ממנו. הקבוצה יצאה לעמק החולה, בגליל העליון. שם היו רק ביצות, יתושים וצרעות ואת אלה צריך היה לייבש ולמגר. שם הם עבדו וישנו באוהלים. הוא חלה במלריה ובטיפוס. הוא סבל מאוד. היום הוא מתגורר בחיפה. רעייתו רוזל הייתה יחד אתו בבוּנד 3, הם הכירו עוד בנעוריהם. הוא היה למסגר ועבד קשה, מבוקר עד ערב. לארתור שתי בנות רות דיקשטיין ויעל רפפורט. לשתי בנותיו העניק ארתור חינוך והכשרה מעולים.

ב-1933 פוטרה אחותי בטי מעבודתה מטעמי גזע; אמא זקרה אוזניים. בדצמבר 1933 יצאה בטי לפלשתינה. בברלין עבדה בטי בבית המשפט וזכתה לקביעות בעבודתה. אמא שניחנה בשיקול דעת וחכמה אמרה: "בטי אין טעם בדברים, כולנו צריכים לצאת לדרך, ואת תהייה הראשונה ללכת לפלשתינה." האנגלים דרשו באותם ימים סרטיפיקט שאותו אפשר היה לקבל אם היה לך מקצוע מבוקש כמו למשל, אם יכולת לעבוד בעבודה חקלאית, או לחלופין אם היה לך כסף, אז יכולת לקנות סרטיפיקט.

בטי יצאה להכשרה 4 והמשרד הארצישראלי שלח אותה לפולין. שם הצטרפה לקומונה והיא נאלצה לרחוץ את העורות המדממים שפשטו מן החיות. היא אמרה שזה היה מזעזע והיא נורא נגעלה מזה. את הבגדים שלבשה בשעות העבודה לא לקחה אתה הביתה, אותם השאירה שם. היא הייתה מאוד רגישה. כששאלתי אותה: "יש לך זוג גרביים שאת יכולה להשאיל לי?" היא אמרה: "לא להשאיל, את יכולה להשאיר אותם אצלך." ואם חלילה וחס מישהו לבש את החלוק שלה היא התחילה לצרוח.

אז כבר אי אפשר היה לשלוח כסף. אבל באמצעות הדרכונים השונים שהיו לנו יכולנו להעביר לה 10 מרקים בכל חודש. ההעברות האלה אפשרו לאבא לצבור בפלשתינה כמה מאות דולרים.

בטי ביקרה תחילה בבית הספר של ויצ"ו 5 על מנת ללמוד בישול. הקורס נמשך חצי שנה. בבית שבו עבדה, בית אמו של חיים וייצמן 6, הכירה את בעלה לעתיד, פרץ חיים. הוא היה מהנדס חשמל אצל רוטנברג, חברה גדולה לייצור חשמל בישראל. אביו היה תיאולוג ולבני הזוג לא היו ילדים.

ארנה הייתה השנייה שיצאה לפלשתינה. היא הייתה צעירה ממני בארבע שנים. ארנה בלתה שעות רבות בבית, היא הייתה כבדת ראייה מיום שנולדה ואמא ריחמה עליה. היא הייתה צריכה להשגיח לא לאמץ את העיניים. אמא אמרה: "ארנה נשארת בבית, היא תבשל, היא תנהל את משק הבית. אנחנו יכולנו לעשות עבודות יד, אנחנו יכולנו לרקום, לסרוג ועוד כל מיני דברים, לארנה לא הרשו, היא הייתה צריכה לשמור על העיניים. בברלין היה מועדון נורדאו [ע"ש מקס נורדאו] 7, שם הכירה ארנה את בעלה לעתיד, את היינץ ורנר גולדשטיין. הוא היה גאה מאוד ב'גרמניות' שלו. תמיד נהג לומר 'אצלנו'. גם אחרי שהיגרו לפלשתינה נהג להשוות את הכול: "אצלנו זה היה ככה, אצלנו זה היה ככה..." אנחנו כבר קראנו לו "אצלנו". הוא רצה ללמוד מדעי המדינה, אבל אז עלה היטלר לשלטון, וזה כבר לא התאפשר לו. הוא נסע לצרפת כדי לקבל סרטיפיקט. בצרפת הוא עבד בכרמים.

לארנה הייתה אהבת נעורים, מקס זלינגר. הוא היטיב לנגן בכינור ואחותי נגנה בפסנתר. היה לנו פסנתר בבית והם תמיד ניגנו יחד. אנחנו ממש אהבנו אותו. אבל לאמו היו תכניות אחרות עבורו.

ארנה יצאה לפלשתינה עם היינץ ורנר, אבל הוא לא הצליח למצוא עבודה ועסק בחלוקת עיתונים. אחותי עבדה כעוזרת בית ולימים פתחה בדירתה גן ילדים. הוא עבד בכל עבודה שקיבל. לבני הזוג היו שני ילדים, עליזה ודוד. כשהיינץ ורנר נפטר, ארנה מכרה את הדירה בחיפה. בתה וחתנה הוסיפו לה עוד סכום כסף וקנו עבורה דירה ברעננה, כדי שיוכלו להיות בקרבתה יומיום. היא רק צריכה לחצות את הכביש. וכדי להקל עליה ריהטו את הדירה ברעננה בדיוק כמו שהייתה הדירה בחיפה.

צילי עלתה לפלשתינה יחד עם הורי בשנת 1939. בברלין עבדה צילי בשביל המשרד הארצישראלי (Palestina Amt). היא חרשה את גרמניה במטרה לאתר יהודים עשירים שיתרמו כספים לעליית הנוער. עם בעלה רודי אברהם היא רצתה להגר לפלשתינה אבל במשרד הארצישראלי אמרו: "אנחנו צריכים את הכוחות שלך, אנחנו צריכים את יכולת גיוס הכספים שלך". הייתה לה הופעה מיוחדת: אשה אלגנטית, וגם יפה. תמיד אמרו לה: כשאת תרצי לנסוע לפלשתינה לא תצטרכי להמתין". היא נסעה לכל מקום וגייסה כספים. היא היית מסוגלת לעשות הכול. היא יכלה לכתוב ספרים, לתרגם לארבע שפות והיא הייתה הדוברת של בן גוריון 8. בארצות הברית היא הייתה קונסולית בממשל אייזנהאואר.9 שנה וחצי הייתה בניו יורק.

היא הייתה הצעירה בארבע הבנות והיא זכתה להשכלה הטובה ביותר. אנחנו נדרשנו לעשות כל מה שאבא אמר, וצילי יכלה לעשות כל מה שחפצה. אני לא יודעת למה. וזאת למרות שאני הייתי בת הטיפוחים. היא ביקרה בגימנסיה וזכתה לתעודת הבגרות ב-1933, בדיוק כשהנאצים עלו לשלטון. אחר כך היא נסעה לשנה וחצי ללטביה, להכשרה בריגה שם הכירה את רודי אברהם, מי שהיה בעלה הראשון. הוא היה מברלין והיה מתמחה במשרד עורכי דין. היא נישאה לו והשניים יצאו לפלשתינה. הוא נאלץ להתחיל מחדש את לימודיו, שכן בפלשתינה של אותם ימים חל החוק התורכי. אבל קודם היה עליו ללמוד את השפה. צילי הייתה באמריקה והוא נשאר לבדו בפלשתינה. כל אחד חי את חייו, והם התרחקו זו מזה. היא נסעה לשנה וחצי, שנתיים. באמריקה פגשה את יהושע ברנדשטטר, בעלה השני. הוא היה מבוגר ממנה ב-23 שנים. טיפוס בוהמי. קולנוען. הוא הביא את חברי תיאטרון הבימה לארצות הברית, הוא ייצג שחקנים והוא גם צייר. השניים נשארו יחד. הוא נפטר מכשל כלייתי.

תקופת הנאצים

ב-1938, מיד לאחר ליל הבדולח 10 נעצר אבא וגורש לפולין. הוא הורשה לקחת אתו עשרה מרקים ומזוודה קטנה עם מסמכים. אני זוכרת שנתנו לו את שעון הזהב שלו והשרשרת. היו לנו עוד קרובי משפחה בפולין ואני תמיד הייתי אשת הקשר. אני הייתי נשואה להונגרי ולכן לא פחדתי. השגתי לעצמי אשרת כניסה לפולין. רציתי לנסוע לאבא ולהביא לו כסף. ובדיוק כשחזרתי מן המשרד שהנפיק את הדרכונים באה אמא לעומתי ואמרה לי: "את לא צריכה לנסוע לפולין, אבא קיבל היתר לחזור כדי לאסוף אותי ויחד ניסע לפלשתינה.

כשאבא חזר מפולין, החלו לארוז את הכול. זה היה בדיוק בתקופה שבה בתי הצעירה הייתה צריכה להתחיל לבקר בבית הספר, היא הייתה בת שש. אחיותיי לא הרפו וגם הן קבלו מן האנגלים היתר לעלות לפלשתינה. אבא עזב בלב כבד, כי אני ובני משפחתי נשארנו מאחור. אבא אמר: "אני עושה לכם עוול". הוא לא יכול היה להיפרד. "אני עושה לכם עוול, אני משאיר כאן את ילדתי ואני הולך. והוא הוסיף ואמר: "אני לא אנוח עד שאצליח להביא גם אתכם."

אבא הצליח לחסוך שלוש מאות דולרים. שלושה שטרות של מאה דולרים. ועכשיו היה עליו לארוז את מטלטליו. הארגזים כבר נשלחו. בארגזים היה אפילו הסכו"ם מכסף. החפצים נארזו בבית. הזמנתי ארגז בירה. פקידי המכס שתו לשכרה, והמוביל היהודי ארז, אפילו את פמוטי הכסף שלי, אותם מותר היה לקחת זה היה חוקי. אבל המזל לא האיר לנו פנים ובחצר המכס פתחו את הארגזים. הם ראו את כלי הכסף והוציאו אותם. אבל האורזים היהודיים, להזכירכם גם המוביל היה יהודי, הצליחו לזו לשוב ולארוז אותם. והכבודה יצאה לדרך.

אבל איפה אפשר להחביא את שלוש מאות הדולרים? היו לי לבנים ממשי, חלקים ומחליקים שאותם חיזקו בסרטים ורודים ללוחות עץ, כדי לתת להם צורה. לאמא היה רעיון. היא השיגה חתיכת קרטון, והיה לה בד צבעוני ועליו רקומים ורדים. מהקרטון והבד הצליחה להכין משהו דמוי לוח הלבנים ובתוכו החביאה את הכסף. הלוח לא היה יפה כמו הלוח המקורי, הוא היה קצת קטן יותר. רק הורי ואני ידענו על הכסף. הורי, צילי, הצעירה שבאחיותיי ואני הלכנו לאלכסנדר- פלאץ כדי למסור את המזוודות. אחותי עמדה בצד אחד ואני בצד האחר. פקיד המכס הוציא כל פריט והניח את הפריטים זה לצד זה, גם את לוחות הלבנים. שכן היו במזוודה כמה וכמה לוחות לבנים ולפתע אמר: "אפשר לדעת איפה החבאת את הדולרים שלך?" אבא לא יכול היה להירגע. פעם אחר פעם יצא החוצה לטייל. ואחותי אמרה בחוצפה: "אילו רציתי להבריח דולרים, הייתי מוצאת אפשרות טובה יותר." והוא החזיר את כל הפריטים למזוודה. באותה הזדמנות אמר אבא: "רוזי, מאייה אחת היא שלך." ואת השטר הזה הוא שמר עד שבאתי לביקור ראשון בישראל, אבל את אבא שוב לא זכיתי לראות. אבל עוד נודע לו שיש לי בן. הוא נפטר בשנת 1947; בני נולד ב-1945.

בעלי אמר: "אצלנו בהונגריה שום דבר לא יכול לקרות." שלושה שבועות מיום שפרצה המלחמה צריך היה להאפיל את הדירות, וחילקו כרטיסי מזון. מובן שהיהודים קיבלו פחות. ולנו הוקצבו רק שעות מסוימות ביום. לא יכולנו לקנות במשך כל שעות היום. ואז ארזנו את המזוודות ונסענו לבודפשט, כי כאמור, בעלי טעו שבבודפשט זה לא יקרה. ליתר ביטחון לקחתי אתי את מסמכי ההגירה לפלשתינה של הילדים.

מצאנו דירה קטנה, שני חדרים ומטבח באויפשט. הארגזים מברלין כבר הגיעו. את הרהיטים מכרנו. מכרנו בלית ברירה. חדר השינה שעלה 4,000.000 מרקים נמכר ב-400 מרקים. זה היה אחרי שכבר שלחתי כלי מיטה, וילונות, פמוטי כסף וסכו"ם כסף. לחתונה קיבלתי שמיכות נוצות אווז מתוצרת פולין. אמא הזמינה שם נוצות אווז אמתיות, ואני רציתי גודל מיוחד. המידה הבינונית הייתה מטר וארבעים לשמיכה ואני רציתי מטר וחצי לשמיכה. את השמיכות הכינו בפולין. אבל חלק מן הדברים שלי שלחתי עם אמא לישראל, למקרה שניסע לפלשתינה.

"חכו בהונגריה", כתבו הורי. לפלשתינה אפשר היה לנסוע רק עם סרטיפיקט של בעלי מקצוע נדרשים. אנחנו יכולנו לצאת רק בעזרת סרטיפיקט קפיטליסטים, זה עלה הון תועפות, אלפי לירות שטרלינג. הורי כתבו שהופקד עבורנו כסף בהולנד כדי שנוכל לצאת כקפיטליסטים. אבל לרוע מזלנו הגרמנים פלשו להולנד.

גיסתי נתנה לי את המטבח שלה [ציוד כלים]; היא הייתה אשה עשירה. אחר כך נתנה לי שולחן וכסאות. ובעלי אפילו יכול היה לעבוד. לשם כך נסע לבודפשט שהייתה במרחק עשרים דקות נסיעה בחשמלית. וממול היה בית ספר יהודי לבנות. בהונגריה של אותם ימים לא עונה ליהודים כל רע. הילדות החלו לבקר בבית הספר עוד בברלין. הגדולה כבר סיימה את כתה ד' והקטנה הייתה בכתה א'.

באותה תקופה התגוררו בבודפשט יהודים רבים, נדמה לי שכ-200.000.

חמתי לא קיבלה אותי בעין יפה, כי לא הייתי הונגרייה. בנה נישא לגרמניה, זה לא מצא חן בעיניה. אבל חמי גילה אלי חיבה רבה. בהתחלה לא ידעתי אף מילה הונגרית, אחר כך למדתי את השפה. אבל ההונגרים, כמעט כולם ידעו גרמנית. חמותי אפילו כתבה לי מכתבים בגרמנית. לבעלי היה אח שעבד יחד עם אביו במאפייה, גם הוא היה אופה. הוא היה הבן האהוב על אמו. הוא היחיד ששרד את המלחמה, כל האחרים גורשו למחנות ריכוז ונרצחו. אחרי המלחמה נפלה בחלקו ירושה גדולה. וכעבור שנה לא נותר לו דבר, הוא לא ידע לנהל את כספו. הוא אימץ לעצמו שם הונגרי. מהבית קראו להם וייס, גם לי בעצם קוראים וייס. אחרי המלחמה אמרו ילדי, ובייחוד בסי: "ניתן לדברים לנוח על משכבם. משפחה זה משפחה." הוא היה עני, זה היה בתקופת הקומוניזם. הבנות שלי קנו בגדי ילדים בשביל הנכד שלו. אני הרביתי לבקר בבודפשט, אבל לא גרתי אצל גיסי כי הם היו עניים מרודים.

היו לי בבודפשט זוג חברים עשירים. היינו יחד במחנה ושם התיידדנו. קראו לו פרי והוא הוא ייצרן נעליים. היה לו בית מלאכה והוא תפר נעליים אלגנטיות. אני אהבתי את הונגריה. הוא נפטר מסרטן בכבד.   

בעלי יצא לעבודה, הבנות ביקרו בבית הספר, לא הייתה שום בעיה. אבל לא היו לי חברים, רק בני המשפחה. הייתה הבת העשירה, אחותו של בעלי שהיו לה שני בתים וחנות נהדרת. בחגים היא הזמינה אותנו לעתים קרובות לארוחות צהריים. ב-1938 היא המירה את דתה, היא וחברתה שגם היא הייתה עשירה מאוד. לגיסתי היה בן יחיד, שטפן או בהונגרית פִּישְטָה. לחברה הייתה בת. חמי כעס מאוד שבתו התנצרה. ועם ההומור היבש שהיה לו שאל פעם את שתי הנשים: "למה עשיתם את זה?" והחברה של גיסתי אמרה :"כדי שבתה תמצא שידוך טוב יותר." חמי לא נשאר חייב ואמר: "היא יכולה להינשא לגוי שתיין."

בחג המולד הציבה גיסתי עץ אשוח גדול. הייתה לה מבשלת, בחנות היה לה זבן, היא הייתה לבושה בהידור, היו לה מעילי פרווה. כולנו יצאנו לאכול ואנחנו היינו מוזמנים- אני וילדיי היהודיים. ולפתע נשכבה החברה מתחת לעץ האשוח ואמרה: "איזו הרגשה נהדרת לשכב מתחת לעץ האשוח." אני חשבתי שאני מתפוצצת. בתה והבן של גיסתי היו בבוקר עם האומנת בכנסייה. הילדים חזרו הביתה והראו את תמונות הקדושים שקיבלו בכנסייה. הילדים היו בני 10, בגילה של בתי בסי. והקטנה שלי אמרה, זה כל כך יפה להיות נוצרי, והראתה את התמונות לאחותה הקטנה לילי. לילי הייתה בת שש או שבע, ולא הרבתה לדבר. היא עמדה והסתכלה בתמונות. הגדולה ניהלה ויכוח עם האחרים מה טוב יותר להיות יהודי או נוצרי. ולפתע פרצה הקטנה ואמרה: "כן, אבל פה בפנים, הדם שלך יהודי."

בערבים ישבו בעלי וחמי בבית קפה והתבוננו באנשים ששיחקו קלפים. אני הייתי בבית עם הילדים. היה כבר חושך, חמי בא אלי וביקש ממני את המסמכים של מיחי. הוא סיפר שבבית הקפה שבו ישבו היו שוטרי חרש ולמיחי היה רק דרכון. הדרכון הונפק בברלין. זה היה דרכון הונגרי תקף לשנתיים נוספות. הוא הזדהה בעזרת הדרכון. הם טענו שייתכן שהדרכון מזויף ועצרו אותו.

התעודה המעידה על אזרחותו של מיחי נותרה בברלין בשעה שלקח את הדרכון. למחרת לא קרה דבר. זה היה בפורים. יומיים לאחר מכן לילי בתי שכבה במיטה ולא רצתה לקום, היא לא רצתה ללכת לחגיגת הפורים בבית הספר. בסי הייתה בבית הספר ואני גיהצתי במטבח. לפתע דפיקה בדלת ולדירה נכנסו שני גברים. הם שאלו אותי מי אני, הציגו את עצמם כנציגי מחלקת הזרים וביקשו ממני להצטרף אליהם. הם רצו לקחת אותי ואת הבנות. לילי הייתה בבית ושכנה הלכה להביא את בסי מבית הספר. הייתה לי שכנה יהודייה וביקשתי ממנה להודיע למחותני במאפייה מה קרה. לומר להם שעצרו אותנו.

נסענו לשם אבל לא הוצאתי את הדרכון מידי. שכן ידעתי שלבעלי לקחו את הדרכון. לא הצגתי את הדרכון, ולא התכוונתי להציג אותו. ואז הסיעו אותי ואת הילדים בחשמלית למחנה המעצר. שם ראה אותנו בעלי. כשהוא ראה אותי ואת הבנות הוא נתקף בבכי קורע לב. אני ניסיתי להרגיע אותו ואמרתי לו: "מיחי, העיקר שאנחנו ביחד."

גרנו בצריפים שהוקמו לצד בית הכנסת. בלוויית בלש יכולתי ללכת לדירה שלנו, להביא לבנים ואפילו שמיכת פוך בשביל הילדות, כדי שיוכלו לישון טוב יותר. בצריפים היו גם מיטות קומתיים. אני ישנתי למטה והבנות למעלה. הייתה הפרדה בין נשים וגברים. ביום שמרו עלינו בלשים, בלילה שוטרים. היינו שם כ-40 או 50 איש. שם היינו שלושה או ארבעה שבועות ואחר כך שלחו אותנו לפרובינציה, למחנות הסגורים שעל גבול צ'כיה. הבניינים היו פעם בתי מכס. אנשי הקהילה היהודית באו אלינו ודאגו לנו. השומרים היו הונגרים.

היתרי היציאה בשביל הבנות עוד היו אתי. באמצעות בן דודי בארגנטינה ובעזרת הצלב האדום שמרתי על קשר מכתבים עם משפחתי בפלשתינה. גיסי בפלשתינה כתב לי שאשלח את הבנות. הם ידאגו לבנות כאילו הן בנותיהן. הם צדקו כי בפלשתינה אפשר היה לדאוג לביטחונן.

הקהילה היהודית בבודפשט ארגנה את היציאה שלהן. גיסתי דאגה שהבנות תופענה ברשימה ותקבלנה את היתרי היציאה לפלשתינה. הבנות קיבלו דרכונים של חסרי נתינות. לילי לא רצתה. כשהן נסעו היא הייתה בת שמונה, בסי בת אחת עשרה. לבסוף שתיהן הסכימו. אבל הקטנה סיפרה לי שהגדולה הפליאה בה את מכותיה כדי שתומר כן. המכות הצילו את חייה. הרשו לי ללוות את הבנות עד בודפשט. בעלי שהיה במחנה הגברים הורשה ללוות אותן רק עד תחנת האוטובוס. שם נפרד מהן. הבנות ראו את אביהן בפעם האחרונה בחייהן, בפעם האחרונה.

התחנה הראשונה הייתה תחנת הרכבת. ברכבת נסענו לבודפשט. איש הבולשת בא לאסוף אותנו וליווה אותנו. לילי עמדה ליד החלון והדמעות זלגו מעיניה. ברכבת נסעו עד בולגריה, ומשם באנייה לתורכיה. את הדרך מתורכיה לפלשתינה עשו באוטובוס דרך סוריה. הורי קיבלו את פניהן בפלשתינה. להורים הייתה כבר דירה יפה והם קלטו את הבנות.

בתעודת הפטירה של בעלי כתוב: דום לב. מאוחר יותר סיפרו לי שהוא מת מטיפוס הבהרות. הוא נשלח לעבודה לרוסיה, לקייב. הם נאלצו לחפור ולגלות מוקשים. אותי שחררו ממחנה המעצר והדירה הקטנה עוד הייתה ברשותי. עבדתי אצל עורך דין ובכל שמונה ימים היה עלי להתייצב בתחנת המשטרה. הוכרתי כאלמנה של עובד מגויס וזכיתי לתעודת אלמנה.

המחותנים שלי כבר גרו בבית של גיסתי, שכאמור היו לה שני בתים. היא לקחה אליה את ההורים, אחות אחת עם ילדה ועוד אחות רווקה. הגיעה שנת 1944. אייכמן בא לבודפשט על מנת להשליט 'סדר'. עם תעודת האלמנה הירוקה שלי הייתי חופשיה, ורק נדרשתי להתייצב בכל שבוע. בעלי כאמור נפטר, והיו לזה גם יתרונות. רציתי לדעת מה שלום המשפחה של בעלי, לא רציתי להתנתק מהם. נסעתי לבקר אותם בחשמלית. זה היה ביום שבו אייכמן היה בבודפשט. ה-21 או ה-22 במרץ, את התאריך אני זוכרת עד עצם היום הזה. ירדתי מן החשמלית ועצרו אותי.

הובלתי לבית שבו היו 400 איש בקירוב, כולם יהודים. נעלו אותנו ואיש לא ידע מה עומד לקרות. דחסו אותנו לתוך משאיות, ואז נסענו ונסענו ונסענו. פתאום הורדנו ומצאנו את עצמנו בחצר גדולה. אני הסתכלתי סביבי ולפתע ראיתי חבורה של שבויים, גברים ואנחנו היינו כ-400 נשים. באמצע הייתה משאבת מים, שתינו קצת מים מכף היד. עמדנו ועמדנו וכבר החשיך. ואז קראו לנשים להיכנס לבניין. שם ישב קצין ורשם את שמותינו לפי סדר האלפבית. עם W אני הייתי בין האחרונות. אנחנו עוד עמדנו בחוץ ואיש לא ידע מה צפוי לנו.

לבסוף הגיע תורנו. נכנסו, בחדר ישב גבר, יפה תואר. אני לא יודעת האם הוא היה שוטר, היו לו מדים ירקרקים. הגיע תורי ואני הנחתי על השולחן את תעודת הפטירה של בעלי, ואמרתי לו: "אני לא דוברת הונגרית." הוא הסתכל עלי, הסתכל בתעודת הפטירה, שוב הסתכלי עלי ושאל בגרמנית: "את יהודייה?" עניתי שכן. משהו אחר לו יכולתי לומר והוא שוב בחן אותי. ואז הוא שאל אותי לאן היו מועדות פני. ואני אמרתי שהייתי בדרכי לבקר את המחותנים שלי, נעצרתי והובלתי לכאן. ועדיין לא הצגתי את הדרכון שלי. משם הובלנו לאולם ענק ושוב היינו 400 נשים בקירוב. זה היה בית המעצר של בודפשט, בסמוך לתחנת הרכבת קלטי. היה לילה ונעלו את הדלתות מאחורינו ובאותו לילה כבר הפציצו את בודפשט. ביום הפציצו האמריקאים והאנגלים ובלילה הרוסים; ישבנו וראינו את הכדורים הזוהרים שהרוסים המטירו לפני ההפצצה. הנשים התפללו שהפצצה הבאה תיפול עלינו. אנחנו פחדנו מן הגרוע מכול, הגרוע בכלל. ארבעה ימים היינו שם; הגענו ביום שלישי וביום שישי שוחררנו. הם לא ידעו מה לעשות בנו. הגברים גורשו, את זה ידענו. אבל הם לא ידעו מה לעשות ב-400 הנשים. לא היו להם רכבות, זה היה מזלנו.

פחדתי ללכת לחדר, שהרי כששוחררתי נדרשתי למסור את כתובתי. אבל הייתה לנו בבודפשט חברה וינאית, אלמנה שהייתה נשואה להונגרי. הוא היה נוצרי והייתה לה בת בת חמש עשרה, סוזי. הלכתי אליה ברגל. היא פתחה לי את הדלת ופקחה זוג עיניים: "רזי את בחיים?" מה היה עלי לומר. פתחתי את הדלת ובחדר ישב אלפרד רוזנשטיין, מי שלימים יהיה בעלי השני. הוא וחבר. הכרתי אותו ממחנה המעצר. עד לאותו רגע לא היה בינינו כל קשר, הוא ראה אותי, חיבק ואמר: "רזי אף אחד כבר לא מפריד בינינו!"

בעלי אלפרד רוזנשטיין נולד בווינה ב-17 באפריל 1898 כילד החמישי לזיסי (Süsie) וביילה רוזנשטיין לבית בינשטוק שנולדה ברוהטין (Rohatyn) שבגליציה. זיסי צאצא לשל"ה הקדוש – רבי ישעיהו הלוי הורביץ ממבשרי החסידות, היה חייט או סוחר טקסטיל שנפטר ב-1926. ביילה נפטרה בלונדון ב-1945.

ששה אחים ואחיות היו לאלפרד: מוריץ, פרנציסקה, סמואל, יוזף, צילי והדי.

מוריץ רוזנשטיין, או כפי שכונה מוּר, היה כימאי ושותף לבית זיקוק לנפט בווינה. בשעת מסע עסקים ללונדון הופתע על ידי האנשלוס ולפיכך נשאר בעיר. הוא נפטר בשנות ה-50 של המאה שעברה ומעולם לא שב לווינה. בתו חני מתגוררת בתל אביב, בנו נהרג במלחמת העולם ה-2. להני שתי בנות בוגרות.

פרנציסקה וֵסֶלִי לבית רוזנשטיין, נמלטה מווינה ליוגוסלביה. עם מסמכים מזויפים חיה בסלובניה. כאנשי מיליציית אוסטאשה (Ustascha) 13 דפקו על דלתה התאבדה. אלה בעצם רק ביקשו לשאול לגבי הדרך.

סמואל רוזנשטיין ורעייתו ברחו להולנד עם שתי בנותיהם.

הוא ובני משפחתו נרצחו על ידי הנאצים.

יוזף רוזנשטיין היה סוכן ביטוח. גם הוא ברח ליוגוסלביה ונרצח על ידי אנשי אוסטאשה.

צילי הצליחה להגר לאוסטרליה דרך לונדון. היא נפטרה בשנת 1962. בתה פרלי נסאו (Fairlie Nassau) ילידת 1945 חיה במלבורן ולה שתי בנות בוגרות.

הדי פאהמר (Hedi Pahmer) לבית רוזנשטיין נישאה להונגרי והלכה בעקבותיו לבודפשט. השניים גורשו למחנה הריכוז ברגן בלזן ושרדו. לאחר המלחמה הגרה גם היא לאוסטרליה.

בנה של רוזה, צבי בר דוד או בשמו הקודם גיאורג רוזנשטיין מספר על אביו: "משפחת אבי התגוררה ברובע השלישי בווינה, באונטרן וייסגרברלנדה (Untern Wießgerberlände) הוא ביקר בבית הספר העממי ובבית הספר התיכון. ב-1916 גויס לצבא הקיסרות האוסטרו-הונגרית 14 והיה תותחן בחזית איטליה. בתום מלחמת העולם הראשונה עבד אצל אחיו מוריץ, שיחק כדורגל בקבוצת הכח וינה 15 ובילה שעות רבות עם חברים בבתי קפה. עד לבריחה להונגריה התגורר עם אמו, ואומרים שהיה הבן האהוב והמפונק. בתחילת השהות בהונגריה היה במחנה מעצר ולאחר פלישת גרמניה חי במסתור. במחנה התיידד עם בעלה הראשון של אמא. לאחר מותו של זה התקרבו השניים וכך באתי אני לעולם.

ב-1948 חזר אלפרד עם אמא, שאותה נשא לאשה ב-1947, ואתי לווינה. תחילה קיבלנו חדר בדירה באזור שהיה תחת שלטון רוסי. טיפין טיפין השתלטנו על הדירה כולה. במידה מועטה של הצלחה ניסה אבא להתקיים כסוכן נוסע. המצב הכלכלי השתפר רק לאחר שהחלו לקבל שילומים. אלפרד נפטר ב-1961 מסרטן בכבד.

את מי שלימים יהיה בעלי השני הכרתי במחנה. הוא היה גבר שרמנטי והנשים השתגעו עליו. תחילה בעלי עבר להתגורר אתי. ולא רק הוא, אליו הצטרף חבר, ואחר כך הגיעה גם אחיינית שלי מהונגריה. חברה ציידה אותה בתעודת לידה של נערה נוצרייה ובעזרתה הצליחה לברוח. יולה הייתה בחורה יפהפייה. חבר נוצרי של מחותני ידע את כתובתי בבודפשט. והיא באה אליי. בעלי חלק את יצועו עם חברו, והיא ישנה אתי במיטה אחת.

לימים היגרה יולה לאמריקה. היא הכירה אלמן שאשתו ובנם הקטן נספו. הוא התאהב בה ויחד נסעו לאיטליה. מרומא שלחה לי גלויה ובה כתבה שהם התחתנו ויחד יהגרו לאמריקה. נולדו לה ארבעה ילדים שתי בנות ושני בנים.

היה לנו מכר משותף שהיה אתנו במחנה, יהודי מיוגוסלביה. חודשים אחדים קודם לכן קנה לעצמו מסמכים מזויפים. במראהו נראה כמו עשרה יהודים. הוא שיחד את אב הבית של אחת הווילות ואנחנו, תשעה אנשים בחדר אחד, יכולנו להסתתר מפני הגירושים ההמוניים. האיש קיבל כסף, אותו אפשר היה לשחד. בסוף כשהכול כבר הסתיים, כשכבר רקדנו ברחובות, יצאו מן הווילה הסמוכה כ-60 איש, שאב הבית הסתיר במרתף הפחמים ובכל מקום, תמורת כסף ותכשיטים. לכן אני טוענת שבבודפשט אפשר היה להשיג הכול תמורת כסף.

הבחנתי שאני בהיריון. ואמרתי לעצמי או שיבוא הקץ עליי ועל הילד או שעלי לעשות משהו. ובעלי אמר: "את לא עושה כלום. אם נשרוד גם הילד ישרוד." הוא לא הרשה לי ואני בכל זאת הלכתי לרופא שהיה בגטו והוא אמר לי: "אני לא עושה שום דבר. את רוצה למות מזיהום?" לא היו לא מכשירים, שום כלום. ובעלי אמר: "לא בא בחשבון שתעשי משהו, אנחנו נינשא." בננו גיאורג נולד בבודפשט ב-27 ביוני 1945. עד שהתחתנו זה לקח עוד די הרבה זמן, גיאורג היה כבר בן שנה וחצי.

שכבנו בחדר מכורבלים במעילים, בחלונות לא היו זגוגיות ולפתע שמעתי קול קורא במגפון: "כאן הצבא הרוסי. בודפשט מחכה. אנחנו נשחרר אתכם. בודפשט מכותרת בגבעות, הרוסים נדרשו לימים רבים עד שהצליחו לחצות את הגבעות. "היעזרו בסבלונות, אנחנו נשחרר אתכם." בשלוש שפות, בגרמנית, בהונגרית וברוסית.  ואנחנו חיכינו. וביום בהיר אחד, יום ראשון, ניצבתי מאחורי החלון, במקום שלטה דממת מוות וראיתי רוסי עם כובע פרווה ומקלע חוצה את הגינה. הסתובבתי ואמרתי: "יש כאן רוסי" ומישהו רץ לגינה וחיבק את הרוסי. וכשהאיש חזר, קראו לו שטיינר, לא היה לו שעון. אבל הוא אמר: "אין דבר!"

חברתי הסתתרה במקום אחר. היא הייתה צ'כית והסתתרה במרתף פחם. היא תמיד אמרה: "לסוס הרוסי הראשון שיבוא לקראתי, אנשק את התחת.

אחרי המלחמה

אחרי השחרור שוטטתי ברחובות בודפשט, נעמדתי על ידי גדר בית הכנסת וראיתי איך הרוסים קוברים את האנשים שמתו בגטו. ניצולים הורשו להוציא את הגופות של יקיריהם ולקבור אותם באופן אישי. טוני קרטיס 16, שחקן הקולנוע שהוא יהודי ממוצא הונגרי, הציב במקום פסל של עץ ערבי נחל [עץ החיים] מבהיק ביופיו. על עלי העץ אפשר לחרוט את שמות הנספים בגטו.

אני נשארתי בהונגריה, אמרתי שאחזור לווינה רק אחרי שתהיה לנו דירה משלנו. ובעלי אמר שגם אין אוכל, אין בשר או להבדיל רק בשר חזיר. בהונגריה היה לי טוב. אמרתי: "אני אהיה מוכנה לעזוב, כשתהייה לי דירה משלי וכשיהיה מספיק אוכל." והוא נדד בין וינה לבודפשט ותמיד זה היה 'עוד לא, עוד לא'.

לאחיותיו הייתה לפני המלחמה מסעדה  שנקראה גריל אָם פטר אבל זו נלקחה מהן בתהליך האריזציה. בעלי רצה להגיש בקשה לקבלת שילומים, ולקבל בחזרה את הרכוש. המקום היה למעשה של אחותו הבכורה שנספתה. היא הקימה את המקום בשביל האחים והאחיות שלה שהיגרו לאחר מכן לאוסטרליה. הם שמסרו את המקום לידי הנאצים. הם קיבלו אישור שעבור המסעדה קיבלו 5000 מרקים, אישור שבעזרתו יכלו לצאת באופן לגאלי לאנגליה. אחת האחיות נישאה למישהו שאתו הגרה לאוסטרליה. אחות אחרת גורשה למחנה הריכוז ברגן ברלזן, היא סבלה מפציעה קשה אך שרדה. אחרי המלחמה היה עליה ללמוד מחדש ללכת. גם היא הגרה לאוסטרליה.

בעלי הגיש תביעה בבית המשפט, אז היו בתי משפט לענייני שילומים. ובכל ישיבה של בית המשפט ישבו רק שני שופטים. האשה הארית שקבלה את המסעדה נפטרה. בנה המשיך לנהל את המקום. בישיבה הראשונה הציעו לבעלי פיצויים בסך 35.000 שילינגים. עו"ד פיק, מי שלימים היה נשיא הקהילה היהודית ייצג אותנו במשפט. הוא היה חבר ללימודים של בעלי.  בישיבה השנייה הוצעו 65.000 שילינגים. אז אמר עורך הדין לבעלי: "אם הוא הסכים לתת 65.000 הוא ייתן יותר". בישיבה השלישית נכחו שלושה שופטים. שניים טענו שיש להחזיר את העסק. בעלי כלל לא רצה את הכסף, הוא רצה את העסק, הוא רצה בסיס קיום בשבילנו. השופט השלישי טען שאי אפשר לשלול את הפרנסה מן הצעיר שמפעיל את העסק שכן לא אין יד ורגל בתהליך האריזיציה. זאת הייתה אז הגישה השלטת. הצעיר קיבל לידיו את העסק, משום ששלושת השופטים לא היו תמימי דעים. בעלי לא קיבל אף פרוטה בתמורה למקום.  

לבעלי היה אישור שהוא נרדף מטעמי גזע. וינה הייתה מחולקת בין בנות הברית. ראש העיר ברובע שבו התגוררנו היה קומוניסטי, ובעזרת האישור קיבל בעלי קיבל את הדירה. בעצם לא רציתי לנסוע לאוסטריה, רציתי לנסוע לילדי והורי בישראל. אבל בעלי אמר שבמקצועו לא יוכל להתקיים בישראל. הוא היה איש עסקים ועבד בשביל חברת דלק גדולה של אחיו. הוא היה נציג מסחרי לתחום זה, זה לא היה מקצוע שאתו אפשר היה להתקיים בישראל. כדי להיות עצמאי היה צריך כסף. ומה היה עליו לעשות בגילו? כאמור הוא היה גדול ממני בעשר שנים, לא ממש צעיר. הוא רצה לחזור לאוסטריה כדי להגיש בקשה לשילומים, לקבל כסף על מנת שנוכל להגר לישראל.

אני נשארתי בווינה כי לא רציתי שילדיי או קרובי משפחתי ייאלצו לפרנס אותי. ב-1949 יחד עם בני נסעתי בפעם הראשונה לישראל. אז עוד נסעו באניה. כשקיבל בעלי את תשלום הפיצויים הראשון, 16.000 שילינגים אמר: "סעי לראות את ילדייך." בשביל שנינו הכסף לא הספיק.

הפלגתי חמישה ימים באניה. זה היה יפה. אמי עוד הייתה בחיים. הייתה לה דירת שניים וחצי חדרים יפה בתל אביב. לאחותי הייתה דירה יפהפייה ליד הים, ברחוב הירקון. לימים בנו באזור בתי מלון שהסתירו את הים.

בתי בסי כבר הייתה נשואה למר אהרוני והיה לה תינוק בן חמישה חודשים. היא נישאה בגיל 18 במהלך שירותה הצבאי בצה"ל. מאוחר יותר עבדה עשר שנים בעירייה וטיפלה בזקנים.

לילי שנישאה למר דריל באה לווינה לשנה. היא הייתה בת 18, זה היה ב-1951. בישראל ביקרה בבית הספר, אבל היא כמובן ידעה גרמנית. אמי מעולם לא הצליחה ללמוד עברית. את אבא כבר לא הספקתי לראות, זה היה נורא. לילי רצתה להיות מורה לילדים מוגבלים, לשם כך ביקרה בבית ספר בווינה.

בני עלה לישראל אחרי שעמד בבחינות הבגרות. זה היה זמן קצר לאחר שבעלי נפטר [1961] הוא חי בקיבוץ ולמד פסיכולוגיה. בישראל שינה את שמו לצבי בר דוד. הוא נישא לאילנה שגם משפחת אמא הגיעה מברלין, מ'שוינן-פירטל' (Scheunenviertel ) ולבני הזוג נולדו שתי בנות ובן. בגלל מחלת שרירים שבה לקה הבן [הנכד], בני אשתו בתו הצעירה נעמי ואופיר בן השלוש העתיקו את מגוריהם לווינה. הבת הבכורה נגה חיה בישראל ועובדת כאחות. נכדי סיים השנה את בבחינות הבגרות וזכה לציונים גבוהים וכיום הוא לומד באוניברסיטה הטכנית של ווינה.

לא הייתה לי סימפטיה לאוסטרים. תמיד ראיתי בהם נאצים. מתישהו בתחילת שנות החמישים הייתי חודשיים בישראל. כשחזרתי לווינה והלכתי לקנות לחם במאפייה שלי, שאלה אותי אשתו של האופה: "גברת רוזנשטיין איפה הייתה כל כך הרבה זמן?" ואני כמובן אמרתי בישראל. והיא פקחה עליי זוג עיניים ואמרה: "את יהודייה?, אבל את לא נראית?" ואני לא נשארתי חייבת: "למה גברת שוברט? יש לי קרניים על הראש?" והיא כמובן המשיכה: "חלילה וחס, לא. לא אמרתי כלום. היה לנו ספק אחד יהודי-הקמח וגם הוא היה אדם הגון." זה היה בתחילת שנות החמישים. זה לא ממש השתנה במהלך השנים. היידר (Haider) 17 ושטדלר (  (Stadler[אוולד, חבר מפלגת ה-  FPÖמספקים לנו לא מעט הזדמנויות לחשוב על זה. וגם אם רוצים לשכוח, אי אפשר. שוב ושוב אנחנו חוטפים.

בגרמניה לא חשתי באנטישמיות. בבית המלאכה של אבא התבדחתי והתלוצצתי עם העובדים הנוצרים. רבים ידעו את החגים שלנו. אחרי המלחמה בעדיפות ראשונה הייתי חוזרת לברלין. אני חושבת שבעלי היה שמח להצטרף אלי. אבל זה היה בלתי אפשרי. ואז הוא חלה ועולמנו חרב. הוא חלה בסרטן. הוא נפטר ב-1961, בן 63.

אני כבר לא רציתי להינשא מחדש. הציעו לי ומישהו אפילו התקשר, זה היה חבר של בעלי. זה היה בדיוק שנתיים אחרי שבעלי נפטר, לקראת חג המולד,  בני משפחתי גרו כאן והילדים עוד היו קטנים. זה לא עניין אותי. היו לי רק שני גברים בחיי, ואני יודעת ששניהם אהבו אותי. לא שדכו לי אותם, פשוט הכרתי אותם, כמו שאני. בעלי הראשון חיזר אחרי במשך שנה שלמה.

הייתי עם אחותי בברלין, עוד כשהעיר הייתה מחולקת למזרח ולמערב. היה לנו מכר שהתגורר בחלק המערבי של העיר, מישהו שהכרנו מנעורינו, סאלי בנם של השכנים, ורצינו לנסוע למזרח, לחלק של העיר שבו נולדנו. צריך היה להמיר 25 מרקים למרקים של מזרח גרמניה. והוא אמר: "לא, חלילה וחס, מי יודע מה יקרה לכן, אולי יעשו לכם צרות." והוא הצליח להניא אותנו מרצוננו. לימים הייתי עם נכדתי בברלין המזרחית. לא הלכתי לבקר בבית שבו גרנו, את זה לא יכולתי.

מילון מונחים

1         שומרי שבת

מקורם בכת שומרי השבת שהשתייכה במאה ה-16 לכנסייה האוניטרית של טרנסילבניה ובמחצית הראשונה של המאה ה-17 אימצה לעצמה רבים ממנהגי היהדות. בתנ"ך ראו אנשיה את כתבי הקודש שלהם. את יום ראשון, היום המקודש לנוצרים המירו ביום השבת. המחאה נגד ה'דת החדשה' הייתה חריפה, בעיקר מחוגי הכנסייה הקאתולית.

2        השומר הצעיר

תנועת הנוער הציונית הראשונה, הוקמה ב-1916 בווינה על ידי איחוד שתי תנועות נוער יהודיות. ההגירה לפלשתינה והקמת קיבוצים היו היעדים המרכזיים שהציבה לעצמה התנועה. ב-1936 הקימו הקבוצות הפועלות בפלשתינה את מפלגת הליגה הסוציאליסטית שב-1948 הייתה יחד עם אחדות העבודה למפ"ם (מפלגת הפועלים המאוחדת).

3         הבוּנד

הבונד נוסד ב-1897 בכינוס בווילנה על ידי איחוד האגודות הסוציאליסטיות היהודיות, בסמיכות זמנים להתכנסות הקונגרס הציוני הראשון בבאזל. הודות לפעילות הנמרצת של חבריו, עד מהרה זכה הבונד לפרסום ולהצלחה בייחוד בליטא, בפולין וברוסיה. תחת שלטונו של סטאלין התפרקו קבוצות הבונדיסטים וחלק מן החברים הצטרפו לשורות המפלגה הקומוניסטית, המפלגה המותרת היחידה. לבונד הפולני שרשאי היה להמשיך בפעילותו הייתה השפעה ניכרת על האיגודים המקצועיים והפעילות התרבותית במדינה ואפילו רכש לעצמו תפקיד מרכזי בחיים הפוליטיים בפולין. הבונדיסטים תמכו בקיום אוטונומיה לאומית-תרבותית ולחמו להכרת שפת היידיש כשפה לאומית.

4         המשרד הארצישראלי

הזרוע המבצעת של הסוכנות היהודית בגרמניה שעסקה אך ורק בהגירה של האוכלוסייה היהודית לפלשתינה. המשרד דאג להשגת האשרות ולאמצעי התחבורה של המהגרים. אחרי ליל הבדולח בנובמבר  1938 הוחמרו אמצעי הפיקוח על פעילות המשרד, אבל הוא המשיך לעבוד באופן עצמאי עד 1941.

5         ויצ"ו

או WIZO קיצור Womens International Zionist Organization , ארגון בינלאומי של נשים יהודיות.

6         חיים וייצמן (1952-1874)

מדען נשיא ההסתדרות הציונית העולמית והנשיא הראשון של מדינת ישראל. נולד ברוסיה הלבנה; ב-1892 יצא לגרמניה ולמד כימיה באוניברסיטאות של דרמשטט וברלין; ב-1901 התמנה לפרופסור באוניברסיטת ג'נבה ושלוש שנים לאחר מכן זכה למשרת הוראה באוניברסיטת מנצ'סטר ועקר לבריטניה. הוא תמך ברעיונו של הרצל לשיתוף היהודים בקונגרס הציוני הראשון; בקונגרס השמיני שהתקיים ב-1907 התקבלה הצעתו בדבר 'ציונות סינתטית' – שילוב הפעילות פוליטית בהתיישבות המעשית בפלשתינה. ב-1920 נבחר לשמש כנשיא ההסתדרות הציונית העולמית משרה בה כיהן עד 1931. מ-1946-1935 שימש בתקופת נשיאות שנייה. כעבור שלוש שנים נבחר על ידי האסיפה המכוננת לנשיאה הראשון של מדינת ישראל. למרות שסבל ממחלה קשה נבחר ב-1951 לתקופת כהונה שנייה; שנה לאחר מכן נפטר בביתו ברחובות.

7         מקס נורדאו

(בשמו המקורי שמעון מקסימיליאן זידפלד) [1923-1849]: שותף לכינון ההסתדרות הציונית העולמית, הוגה דעות, סופר, נואם ורופא. ב-1895 התוודע נורדאו לרעיון הקמת המדינה היהודית שהגה תיאודור הרצל, אימץ אותו בהתלהבות ושימש כמשנה לנשיא ונשיא של קונגרסים ציוניים רבים. נורדאו היה חסיד הציונות המדינית וחשב שיש להביא לארץ ישראל רבים מיהודי הגולה, כדי לזכות- גם בדרך זו – בעצמאות פוליטית. רעיון שנדחה על ידי מנהיגים ציוניים אחרים בטענה שאינו מציאותי. מקס נורדאו נפטר בפריז בשנת 1923; עצמותיו הועלו ארצה ב-1926 והובאו לקבורה בבית הקברות טרומפלדור בתל-אביב.

8         דוד בן גוריון (בשמו המקורי דוד גרין) [1973-1886]

פוליטיקאי וראש הממשלה הראשון של מדינת ישראל. נולד בפלונסק שבפולין וב-1906 עלה לארץ ישראל. מ-1910 עבד יחד עם יצחק בן צבי [נשיאה השני של מדינת ישראל] כעורך העיתון של תא פועלי ציון, האחדות.
ב-1912 החל בלימודי משפטים באוניברסיטת קושטא, משם סולק במרץ 1915 ויצא לניו יורק. לאחר מלחמת העולם הראשונה היה שותף לייסוד ההסתדרות הכללית של העובדים והיה למזכירה הראשון. מ-1930עד 1963 היה יושב ראש מפלגת מפא"י [מפלגת פועלי ארץ ישראל]. ב-1948 הכריז על עצמאות ישראל ועמד בראש ממשלתה עד 1953. לאחר מכן שימש כשר הבטחון. היה לו חלק נכבד בנצחון ישראל על מדינות ערב בשתי המלחמות הראשונות שניהל צה"ל. בין השנים 1963-1955 שב לכהן כראש ממשלת ישראל. ב-1970 פרש מן הפוליטיקה וקבע את מגוריו בקיבוץ שדה בוקר שבנגב. בן גוריון נפטר ב-1 בדצמבר 1973.

9        דווייט, דיויד איזנהאואר [1969-1860]

גנרל אמריקאי, מדינאי והנשיא ה-34 של ארה"ב. במהלך מלחמת העולם השנייה היה מפקד אדריכל ומפקד פלישת בעלות הברית לאירופה והמפקד העליון של כוחות בעלות-הברית המערביות ביבשת. מלונדון ניהל ופיקד על הכוחות הפעילים באפריקה ובאירופה. ב-7 במאי 1945, במפקדה של איזנהאואר חתמה גרמניה על מכתב הכניעה. בתום המלחמה התמנה איזנהאואר לרמטכ"ל של צבא ארה"ב ובין השנים 1952-1950 שימש גם כמפקד העליון של כוחות נאט"ו. ב-1952 זכה בבחירות לנשיאות ארה"ב. ב-1953 הצליח להשיג הפסקת אש במלחמת קוריאה וב-1956, יחד עם ברית המועצות להביא לסיום מבצע סיני. באותה שנה נבחר לתקופת נשיאות נוספת בארה"ב וב-1961 העביר את השלטון לג'ון פ. קנדי ופרש לחווה שלו בגטיסבורג. איזנהאואר נפטר ב-28 במרץ 1969 בוושינגטון.

10       ליל הבדולח או פוגרום נובמבר

כינוי לפוגרום הספונטני שנערך ברחבי גרמניה ביוזמת ובהוראת גבלס בלילה שבין ה-8 ל-9 בנובמבר 1938. במהלך ליל הבדולח נרצחו 91 יהודים, כמעט כל בתי הכנסת בגרמניה ו-7000 חנויות יהודיות הועלו באש, ניזוקו ונבזזו, יהודים הותקפו בבתיהם, הושפלו, נעצרו ונרצחו.

11       אוטו אדולף אייכמן [1962-1906]

אס. אס. אובר-שטורמבנפיהרר (Obersturmbannführer), מי שעמד בראש ארגון גירוש היהודים מגרמניה והארצות הכבושות על ידה. אחרי האנשלוס של אוסטריה ב-1938, הקים בווינה את הלשכה המרכזית להגירת היהודית שבאמצעותה כפה את גירוש יהודי אוסטריה. ב-1941 היה אייכמן אחראי לארגון הגירוש של יהודי גרמניה וארצות הכיבוש ואחד האחראים לרצח ששת מיליון היהודים. ב-1960 נתפס על ידי סוכני המוסד הישראלי בארגנטינה והובא למשפט באשמת ביצוע פשעים נגד העם היהודי. נגזר עליו גזר דין מוות והוא הוצא להורג בלילה שבין ה-31 במאי ל-1 ביוני 1962.

12       אנשלוס

סיפוח אוסטריה לרייך הגרמני. זמן קצר לאחר התפטרות הקנצלר האוסטרי שושניג (Schuschnigg) ב-11 במרץ 1938 תפסו הנאצים את כל המשרדים החשובים. ב-12 במרץ פלשו גדודי גרמניה לאוסטריה. למחרת ב-13 אושר האנשלוס במשאל עם והאיחוד המחודש בין אוסטריה לגרמניה היה מהלכה למעשה.

13       אוסטאשה (Ustascha)

תנועה לאומנית קרואטית, שהוקמה ב-1929 על ידי אנטה איוון פאווליץ'  (Ivan Pavelic) נגד הריכוזיות של סרביה ולמען עצמאות קרואטיה. באפריל 1941, לאחר הקמת המדינה הקרואטית העצמאית, בחסות גרמניה הנאצית ואיטליה הפשיסטית הפעילו חברי הארגון טרור עקוב מדם ברחבי המדינה. אחרי קריסת קרואטיה ב-1945 יצא פאווליץ' לגלות. השנאה האצורה לאוסטאשה הובילה למעשי נקם של הצ'טיניקים הסרבים עוד במהלך מלחמת האזרחים בשנות ה-90.

14       צבא K

U.K [הצבא הקיסרי והמלכותי]: קיצור שבא להצביע על פי רוב על הצבא האוסטרו-הונגרי, שהיה מורכב מלאומים שונים, ערב רב של כלי נשק ואינטרסים.

15       הכוח

הכוח וינה הייתה אגודת ספורט יהודית שנוסדה בשנת 1909. השם העברי בא לסמל את אופייה של האגודה. לפרסום רב זכתה קבוצת הכדורגל של האגודה שזכתה באליפות אוסטריה ב-1925. באגודה היו חברים גם מתאבקים, שחיינים, שחקני כדור-מים שזכו בתארים אולימפיים עבור אוסטריה.

            אחרי האנשלוס ב-1938 הולאמו מגרשי האגודה ואולמות הספורט שלה ונאסר על קיומה.

16      טוני קרטיס (נולד כברנרד שוורץ)

שחקן קולנוע אמריקני ממוצא יהודי הונגרי.

17       ירג היידר

פוליטיקאי אוסטרי שבכינוס המפלגה בספטמבר 1986 באינסברוק הדיח את יושב הראש של מפלגת ה-FPÖ [המפלגה האוסטרית העצמאית] נורברט שטגר. ב-1989 יחד עם קולות ה-ÖVP היה למושל מדינת המחוז קורינתיה. כעבור שלוש שנים סולק מתפקידו בעקבות הצהרה בדבר מדיניות התעסוקה היסודית ברייך השלישי. ב-1993 ארגן משאל עם בנושא הזרים שנחל מפלה כבדה. בבחירות למועצה הלאומית של 1999, לראשונה מאז  כינונה הייתה  ה-FÖP למפלגה השנייה בגודלה באוסטריה. 

Rosa Rosenstein

Rosa Rosenstein
Vienna
Austria
Interviewer: Tanja Eckstein
Date of interview: July 2002

I met Rosa Rosenstein in the summer of 2002. I was very excited about interviewing her, as it doesn’t happen very often that I meet respondents of such an admirable age – after all, she was already 94 years old then, so almost a century old – and who, on top of that, came from Berlin, my hometown. Her Berlin dialect was unmistakable and after a short time we became close friends. Since she had trouble walking and had poor eyesight, I repeatedly went into the room adjoining the living-room to fetch her cigarettes and an ashtray. Sometimes, after she had opened the door for me, she wasn’t able to walk back into the living-room, and so we sat close together on a small bench in the long corridor, directly in front of the door to her apartment, and she would tell me stories of her life, funny ones and sad ones. I loved her stories and never grew tired of visiting her over and over again. Her incredibly lively way of story-telling, creating images out of sentences, will probably remain a unique experience in my activity as an interviewer.

Rosa Rosenstein passed away in February 2005.

My family background
Growing up
During the War
Post-war
Glossary

My family background

I didn’t know my great-grandparents. My grandparents and my parents were born in Galicia 1.

My family on my father’s side was called Braw. The only Braws that exist, down to the present day, are part of my family. There is Brav with a ‘v’ and there is Braf with an ‘f,’ but we write our name with a ‘w.’ My brother has done some research and says that the name comes from the Hebrew expression ‘biraw,’ which means ‘son of the rabbi,’ ‘raw’ standing for rabbi.

I never met my paternal grandparents because my grandmother, Rivka Finder, nee Braw, died before I was born. I was named after her, Rosa in German and Rivka in Yiddish. I never met my grandfather, Zwi Finder, either. Allegedly, he married a young woman after the death of his first wife, who died of cancer at the age of 54, and moved away, so my father had no contact with his father at all. Before she died, my grandmother had my father promise to take care of his younger siblings.

My father, Jakob Braw, was born on 6th June 1881 in Gorlice, near Tarnow [both in Poland today]. He had six siblings: Gitl, Chana, Gusta, Zilli, Reisl and Nathan.

Gitl died before World War II.

Chana, whose married name was Federman, had three children. They were all killed during the Holocaust.

Gusta, whose married name was Eberstark, had six children. They were all killed, too.

Zilli went to Berlin where she met a certain Mr. Weinhaus, and in 1914 she moved to America with him. They got married on board the ship. In New York they owned a poultry store together with her sister Reisl and her husband. Zilli lived to the age of 104.

Reisl and her husband moved to Berlin from Galicia. He was a baker and his name was Wind. Their son, Josef, was born in Berlin. In 1915 they immigrated to New York via Mexico. She died in New York.

Nathan went to Berlin and was full of the joys of life. He caught a cold and died of pneumonia at the age of 26. He was buried in the cemetery in Weißensee [a district of Berlin].

My grandfather on my mother’s side, Angel Arthur Goldstein, was born in the vicinity of Cracow [today Poland]. He was the manager of an estate. Back then, Jews owned estates. The owner of this estate lived in Cracow and my grandfather managed his estate in the vicinity of Cracow. I remember that we had a picture of my grandfather at home, showing him with his long white beard and wearing a kippah.

My grandmother, Bacze Goldstein, nee Schiff, was born in 1850. She had two wigs, which I always had to take to Grenadierstrasse [in Berlin] for combing.

My mother, Golda Braw, nee Goldstein, was born in Tarnow on 1st August 1884. She was the only daughter and had seven brothers: Jonas, Heinrich, Adolf, Hermann, Ignatz, Janik and Nuchem. Her older brothers lived in Berlin.

Uncle Jonas, Joine in Yiddish, had a piano store in Berlin. His first wife died of the Spanish flu. He left Berlin with his second wife, Hella, and their children, Reuben and Dorit, after Hitler’s rise to power in the 1930s 2 and immigrated to Palestine. Dorit first lived in a kibbutz. Her brother Reuben left the kibbutz in the late 1950s and resumed his studies, which had been interrupted by their immigration to Palestine. He became a professor of modern philosophy at the University of Tel Aviv. He got married to Nelly; they didn’t have any children.

Dorit and her husband, Jakob Ross, who was also from Berlin, moved to the Moschaw Atarot kibbutz, north of Jerusalem, along with Uncle Joine and Aunt Hella. The kibbutz was vacated during the War of Independence [in 1948] and the members were resettled in the deserted Templar village Wilhelmina [ca. 20km east of Tel Aviv]. Dorit and Jakob have three sons, Ilan, Gad and Ehud, who have children, and partly grandchildren themselves. Joine died in the 1950s, Hella in the 1980s. Jakob passed away a few years ago, Dorit a couple of weeks ago.

Adolf owned a newspaper kiosk. Adolf, his brother Heinrich and their wives moved from Berlin to Canada. The former only had one daughter, the latter had two daughters.

Hermann was a very handsome man. He worked in Berlin in my father’s tailor’s shop and got married to Mizzi, who was a Catholic and converted to Judaism. In 1926 they immigrated to Canada, where he died young.

Ignatz was my father’s [business] partner at first and then became the manager of an estate in Poland. He was married to Barczszinska, whom they called Bronka. They didn’t have any children. Bronka survived the war by hiding in a monastery. Ignatz was killed during his escape to Budapest.

Jannik was taken prisoner during World War I and was sent to Siberia.

Nuchem was the youngest of the siblings. He was an ensign. He was a rank higher than a common soldier from the very beginning, but died during a gas attack instigated by the other side and spent a long time in hospital. He later got married in Galicia.

I only remember my maternal grandparents from the time I was approximately five or six years old. They lived in the western part of Galicia, which was part of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy then, and only became part of Poland in 1922. A large part of what is Poland today belonged to the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy.

In 1913 we went to visit our grandparents in Galicia with our mother from Berlin. We got these beautiful coats, shepherd’s check coats, and little white hats with cherries dangling from them.

Our grandparents never came to visit us in Berlin. My grandfather died of a heat stroke in 1913 – he was in the field to supervise the harvest. After that, my grandmother was on her own, so my mother took her to Berlin and she lived with us. My mother’s brothers came to Berlin when they wanted to see their mother. And in this way, we still got delicious food because one of them was stationed in Romania during World War I, where they still had everything. He brought us rucksacks full of flour and rice.

My father was a tailor and worked from home. In later years we had a men’s wear wholesale and retail store. My father wasn’t drafted into the army; he was given his medicals four times during World War I, but was deferred every single time because he had horrible varicose veins. And that made him fortunate. He was at home and could take care of us. He drove to the farmers and got food for us, so we wouldn’t starve. He also resoled our shoes. My mother was good at everything, too. We never went hungry. When food became more scarce we ate swedes. The whole house stank of it. The jam was also made from swedes and so was the bread.

Growing up

My mother was engaged to my father for a very long time. It was an arranged marriage. They were distantly related. My parents got married in Galicia on 7th February 1907. I was born ten months later, on 25th December 1907, in Berlin. The name on my birth certificate is still Rosa Goldstein, after my mother. My parents first had a Jewish wedding. At some time, they had to get married again in a registry office, because otherwise the marriage wouldn’t have been acknowledged. Afterward, a note on my birth certificate said: ‘Jakob Braw acknowledges Rosa Goldstein as his daughter and she bears the name of the father.’ I still have this birth certificate.

My sister Betty came next; she was born in 1909. Erna, born in 1911, was the third, and Cilly, born in 1913, was the youngest sister. My brother Arthur, Anschel in Yiddish, was the youngest. He was born in 1915, during World War I. We still call him Anschi. He and his wife only recently came to visit me

All of us five siblings are very close. Every one of us has a different character, but we were never cross at one another. Sure, we all had different opinions, but we never really had a row with each other. And that only happens in few families.

My parents were foreigners in Germany. I was never German either. I’ve had three nationalities, but I was never German. First, I was Austrian. At the time I was born in Berlin, I was Austrian. I was born in 1907, but Poland was only founded in 1922. So then I was Polish, as a dependant of my parents, as I was still a minor. Then I married a Hungarian, so I became Hungarian, and after the war I married an Austrian, so I was Austrian again.

My mother cooked kosher. There were only Jewish shops on Grenadierstrasse in Berlin. There was the kosher butcher Sussmann; there were poultry stores, where everything was kosher. This was where you went shopping. In our home everything was kosher. Blue, for example, was for dairy products, for those we had blue-checkered tea-towels. And the red-checkered ones were for meat products. We also had separate dishes for meat and dairy products and they were also washed separately. The table-cloths were extra, red for everyday use, on other occasions white ones were used. That was a very beautiful thing in our home.

The Pesach dishes were stored away in a huge suitcase stored in the attic that had a drop-down ceiling. It was a festive act when we brought them down. Also, my mother bought geese and fried the fat out in the Pesach dishes, so we could have goose dripping. The goose liver at Pesach was delicious!

My parents went to Jewish prayer houses; one was called ‘Ahavat Zedek,’ the other one ‘Ahavat Chaim.’ The prayer houses were located in some large backyard.

In Berlin, we lived in a large four-room apartment on Templiner Strasse. The toilet was inside the apartment and we also had a bathroom. It was a very primitive bathroom, but it had a bath-tub and a large stove, which was heated with wood, so we could have hot water for a bath.

We four sisters shared a room. It was small and there was a window in the corner. There were two beds on each side and a large chest of drawers with a mirror stood next to the door. Each girl had her own drawer for underwear, another drawer for all kinds of stuff, and on top of that we had a cupboard for our clothes.

We always got new clothes for the high holidays, at Pesach and Rosh Hashanah. At the latter, we always got winter things. Those were beige coats, ready-made. Of course, I immediately tore the side. It was then sowed and darned, but nonetheless it looked shabby after a while. Then we got new coats again, but at that time I already wore my sister’s old one, as mine wasn’t in good shape any more. I didn’t care about clothes at all. My mother scolded me. She told me, ‘Rosa, couldn’t you stand in front of the mirror for at least five more minutes?’ My mother always said, ‘You ought to have been a boy. How can one tear one’s clothes like this?’

I always got clothes at the same time as my sister. Her things hung in the cupboard for half a year and any time she took something out, she asked me, ‘Well, how do you like this?’, and then hung it back. When she started wearing her things, mine were already gone – cleaning rags. I didn’t pay attention to what my hair looked like or to what I wore. The main thing was that the skirt was wide enough and the shoes didn’t pinch, so I could run around comfortably.

I only started going to the hairdresser when I had my hair bobbed, and did that only because of the work in my father’s store. Before that, we had long plaits; our hair was plaited early in the morning before we went to school. My father prepared our breakfast, which we took along to school. Since my mother helped my father in the store, he wanted her to rest. So we went to her bedside and she plaited our hair.

My brother slept on a divan in the little room facing the street. There was also a desk in his room and a large armchair stood next to the tiled stove. Back then everyone had a tiled stove. We heated it ourselves in winter.

We only had a maid when we were little, as my mother helped our father in his tailor’s shop. One of the maids was called Elsa, the other one Emma. Both were from Pomerania. The maid lived with us, but we only put up a bed for her. Back then things were primitive. The girls came from the country and were happy to make a living. Emma was a Sabbatarian 3, she only went to Jews. Sabbath was her holiday, she worked on Sundays. Sabbatarians – that was a sect – didn’t eat pork either.

I went to a Jewish girls’ school, today they call it Higher Education Facility for Girls. French was compulsory, while English was an optional subject. Of course, I was too lazy to study English, so I only learned French. Back then there was no nursery school. You started in the ninth grade and it went up to the first grade. The ninth grade was what is today’s first grade, and the first grade was what is today’s last. It was called lyceum.

I had no contact whatsoever with Christians. My parents didn’t either, only business-wise, but privately, they didn’t. However, I did have a Christian girlfriend when I was young; she lived in the same building, and I went along when she went to confession.

For three hours, three times a week, we studied Bible history and learned to read Hebrew with Dr. Selbiger – that was the name of the teacher. We only learned to print; we didn’t learn cursive writing. I knew all the prayers, as I had to pray. My grandmother kept an eye on me in that respect. In the early morning we said the ‘Modim anachnu lo,’ and in the evening the ‘El Male Rachamim,’ that was the evening prayer.

My sisters went to the same school. I then had to leave school, I was told what to do. It was decided how long I was allowed to go to school and then I had to switch to business academy because my father needed me in the shop. At first I had to do some kind of practical training in another company. We had a Jewish secretary, and when she got married I took over her job. We also had a men’s wear retail store. I was in the company where they did the sewing, while my sister Betty, who finished the same business academy as me, worked in the retail store.

At this business academy you had to learn everything in half a year: typewriting, stenography, accounting, and all that at a great speed. I had class-mates who were 20 years old, while I was only 15, but I was much better than the others. My mother never went to school to enquire about my studies. There weren’t any complaints.

I got 100 marks in pocket-money for the work in my father’s store. I wasn’t even registered with the health insurance scheme. If I had been, today I would get another pension from Germany. My sister Betty, on the other hand, worked in the public prosecutor’s office and gets a great pension from Germany.

We always had Zionist leanings 4. My brother, for example, was a member of a Zionist-socialist organization from the age of 14 and wore those blue shirts that they had.

All my siblings were in Jewish organizations with Zionist tendencies. There were German Jews who said, ‘For God’s sake, this is no place for us, our home is Germany.’ But for us, it was different, after all we were Poles. I was in the Jewish sports club Bar Kochba. It was a Jewish association, half sports, half entertainment. In the summer we trained in Grunewald, doing track and field athletics, in the winter we were in the gymnasium. I was afraid of climbing the pole or balancing on the parallel bars, but I enjoyed other games such as dodge ball and medicine ball.

I made friends through these Jewish organizations, including boys. For example, we made a trip to the countryside at Whitsun. There was a train to Frankfurt on the Oder; this was third or fourth class, and you’d sit on the floor on top of your rucksack and had a blanket to lie on. We took the night train, which was exciting. We then slept by a lakeside, both girls and boys. Some nights we spent in some farmers’ haylofts. I had this good friend, Martha, who was always by my side.

As you know, Berlin has wonderful lakes. On Wednesday we always went out in paddleboats, and we also went canoeing. I couldn’t swim, but we went rowing. I started learning swimming three times, but gave up after the third time. When I tried for the first time, the swimming instructor held me on a fishing-rod and I had to do the movements. The second time, I got a board and I had to push that board ahead of me. In the end, the instructor said, ‘And now without the board.’ That I didn’t do. I was a coward. I was afraid, I do admit, but such is life.

During the summer my parents rented a summer apartment. When we were still small, we spent our first summer vacation in Fichtenau by a lakeside. We took beds and dishes with us. My father came to join us on weekends. He was working while we spent the time with our mother. Mother cooked, and we – just like at home – ate noodle soup.

We had everything, you know. We had delicious food, bought the very best; we used to roast geese. Sometimes I swapped sandwiches with the children at school, so I could have bread with lard instead of my buttered bread with cheese. We didn’t lack anything.

My father did everything for his daughters. My sister always says, ‘Whatever do you want? You were always Dad’s darling.’ My father was a good person. He was there solely for his wife and children. My father didn’t smoke, my father didn’t drink. The only thing he did was: In the early morning, before he went to the workshop, he had a sip of slivovitz. A little glass of slivovitz for breakfast. Sometimes, when my mother asked, ‘Tell me, Jakob, what do you want for lunch,’ he said, ‘You know what, I’ll just have some rice pudding with sugar and cinnamon. That’s the best.’ That was my father. While we, of course, had to have smoked briskets of beef, bought at Sussman’s on Grenadierstrasse! It was the same story with clothes. When my mother told him, ‘Jakob, you desperately need new shoes, you desperately need a new suit,’ his reply was ‘No.’ But whatever I asked for, I always got.

My father adored my mother. She was a bookworm just like me. She only went to school for a year in Galicia, while her seven brothers all studied. Grandfather always said it was enough for a girl to be able to write her name and know how to bake bread and make butter. They were from the countryside after all, so that was enough. My mother taught herself how to read and write. She told me that the first thing she bought when she came to Berlin – later, she also worked in Berlin – was Grillparzer. A whole series of books by Grillparzer. [Grillparzer, Franz (1791-1872): Austrian dramatist, best known for his works ‘The Golden Fleece,’ ‘King Ottocar’s Success and Downfall,’ ‘The Jewess of Toledo’ and ‘A Fraternal Struggle in the House of Habsburg.’]

We had a real library at home. There were four daughters, and there was this one worker, an elderly man, who always said: ‘Of the five women in the Braw family, the mother is the brightest and most beautiful. When we immigrated after Hitler’s rise to power, my heart bled, because we had to leave all our books behind.

I lived at home until my wedding day. My first husband was also a tailor, but above all he was a Hungarian. Oh, he certainly was a handsome young man! I was working at my father’s, in a factory building with large windows. My desk stood at the window. On the opposite side there was a men’s ready-made clothes factory, and there was this good-looking man sitting at the sewing-machine. We kept smiling at each other. I didn’t know who he was; he didn’t know who I was. One day a messenger came up – back then traders went from shop to shop – with a big box filled with candies and said, ‘This is from the young man across the way.’ That’s how it all started. I accepted the gift, of course, and said thank you.

I was not yet 18, but I was happy, and why not? But I always worked long hours. If you work in your father’s shop you can’t just finish work at 5pm. My mother always phoned my father, asking, ‘When are you going to send the girl home?’ In the workshop, I had to sew on buttons, help prepare things for dispatch, accompany the domestic servant to the train station when parcels were being sent by train. I had to do all that.

We made and sold men’s ready-made clothes ourselves. For a while, we had our own retail stores: one was on Hermannstrasse in Neukölln, the other one on the corner of Neue Friedrichstrasse and Klosterstrasse. Back then many people bought on tick, paying in installments since they were poor. A suit, for example, cost 35 marks. So a file card was made showing an amount of 10 marks and this sum was cashed. My sister did that. There were only few Jews among the clientele in the retail store, but there were many Jews in the wholesale store, who bought entire suits. Those were people from the provinces. Parcels were sent to Essen, Düsseldorf, Duisburg. We also had a traveling salesman who had swatches and samples of material.

One day I went home earlier. I had been in the shop on the corner of Neue Friedrichstrasse and Klosterstrasse and walked via Hackische Markt to a large bookstore on Rosenthalerstrasse. I was looking at the books. I bought books, I borrowed books and I read books in libraries – only books. So I’m standing there, looking at the books and all of a sudden I hear a voice behind me, slowly saying, ‘Isn’t that beautiful?’ I turned around, and there he stood. He had the same route home as me; he was living with his sister. He asked if he could walk me home since he was going the same way. So I said, ‘If you please.’ On the way, it turned out that he was the nephew of the owner of the place where he worked, while I was the daughter of the owner of the place across the way. He had thought that I was an employee, and I had thought he was a simple worker. His name was Maximilian Weisz, we called him Michi. He was born on 30th November 1904 in Nitra. That’s how it started.

After that he sometimes accompanied me on my way, and then he started inviting me. That was always on a Saturday evening; one didn’t have time during the week, of course. Our meeting place was at the underground station on the corner of Schönhauser Allee and Schwedterstrasse. I dressed, got ready, and I also went to the hairdresser’s – I always went to the hairdresser’s on Saturday after I started working in my father’s store. My parents knew that I had a rendezvous and my mother told me, ‘Come on, hurry now, you’re going to be far too late.’ And I replied, ‘If he’s really interested, he will wait.’ So I went down to the underground station, and there was no one there. I thought, ‘Well, I’m late.’ Then, after five minutes or so, I saw him come running, completely out of breath. What happened? Well, I apologized for being late. He, however, thought that I was waiting at the other station, so he had run to the next station and back.

Next to the zoo, there was a restaurant called ‘Schottenhamel,’ a very elegant restaurant. He said he hadn’t had dinner yet, so we took the underground to Willhelmstrasse stop, I think it was, somewhere up there at the Linden. We went into the restaurant and it was very elegant, but I was kosher. He ordered a meat platter, while I had coffee and cake, as I didn’t eat treyf food. I had told him that I was kosher, but I didn’t know any kosher restaurants, as my parents never went to restaurants. Afterwards they played music in that restaurant.

I got three really beautiful dresses during my engagement: a black satin dress with white satin insets, a white-blue crêpe de Chine dress and a dark-blue and Bordeaux dress. After all, I couldn’t possibly go out with him in the rags I had. These three dresses were made in an elegant dressmaker’s store.

My family accepted my fiancé as a son. He was hard-working and so was I. We only went out on the weekends. Some seven or eight months passed. My parents didn’t approve of it and said that they wouldn’t allow me to hang out like this, that I would get a bad reputation. This was at the time of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur and my parents were in the temple and so was I. Of course, we didn’t work on the holidays.

Maximilian didn’t work either, because his uncle was Jewish and no one in the company was working. He came to the temple to see me: The youth always gathered there, we were standing around chatting with friends. There, my parents invited him for tea at Rosh Hashanah. Two of my mother’s brothers and their wives were also there. So we were sitting there and suddenly my father said, ‘Let’s go to the room next-door.’ Then my uncles and father asked Michi to join them. I thought, ‘What’s going on here?’ After a while, they came out laughing; Michi was beaming, and then I was told that they had asked him what his intentions were because they didn’t agree with dragging things on, as I would only get a bad reputation. Well, he told them that he intended to marry me. And that was the end of the story. And I was very upset that they’d done this.

I had enough admirers. For example, there was this relative from Poland who wanted to marry me. He was eight years older than me. When he was in Berlin for the last time I was 14. When he left, I was 15. Sometimes he took me to a circus show, sometimes to an afternoon performance of an operetta. His father had a butcher’s and was a horse trader in Oswieczim [Auschwitz, Poland], as was usual for Jews in the province. He had to return home because he was the only son. When he said goodbye, he told me, ‘Rosa, when you are 18, I will marry you.’ And I, always having had a big mouth, replied, ‘Sure you will.’

One day, I received a letter, which, however, was addressed to my father. He asked me if I remembered, now was the time, I was 18 years old. I was so proud of this letter. I wrote back to him, saying that I had received his proposal, but that three years had passed, we both had changed, looked different, etc. He replied, asking me to send him my picture and he also sent me his. I sent him a passport picture on which my hair is standing in all directions. And he replied that one couldn’t see much on that picture, so I wrote to him, ‘If you are interested, why don’t you come to Berlin?’ I wasn’t attracted to him at all, but it made me proud and I was realistic: He was a good match. I was very sober back then, I had no fantasy whatsoever.

Then the reply came: He wouldn’t be able to come, he didn’t have a passport; I should come instead. I was about to organize myself a passport, when my mother interfered, ‘Rosa,’ she said to me, ‘Think about this. You, a girl from Berlin, with your intelligence. Do you seriously want to marry a Pole?’ At that time it was Poland already. ‘You don’t know a single word of Polish. Do you really want to live in a small town and work in a butcher’s?’

I didn’t write to him any more. Besides, I was in love with Sammy, a friend from my youth. We lived in the same building. I met him when I was ten or eleven and he was four years older. Back then he was always strutting past me, while I was still playing with dolls. When I was almost 18, he was in love with me, too. Whenever he got a chance, he grabbed and kissed me. Once we were on summer vacation. I was there with my brother, who was still little at the time. Sammy wanted to sleep with me. His sister was my friend, a stunningly beautiful girl, my age, and I said to him, ‘Sammy, what would you think, if your sister, Nina, did that?’ And he replied, ‘She doesn’t do things like that.’ That was the end of the story. I never saw him again.

Sammy was an American citizen, born in the States, and so were his siblings. His parents lived in America and then returned to Germany. Two months later he was gone. He went to America. I don’t know if he’s still alive; if so, he must be 100 now. I wonder whether he ever knew why we broke up. You see, that’s how proud I was.

I didn’t like what my father and uncles did to Michi, but never mind. Michi beamed, while I was very embarrassed, but we went to the cinema afterward. That all happened in November, and his birthday was on 30th November. I remember that for my birthday, which is on 25th December, I got a marvelous crystal plate. That was the first plate I got as a present and I was wondering, ‘A plate as a birthday present?’ But the cutting was extremely beautiful. Michi was very generous; I often got presents from him.

Then we had a real Jewish engagement party – that was on 8th March 1928. His mother and sister came from Budapest to attend the celebration. There were 80 people altogether. Back then we had a four-room apartment, and three rooms were cleared for the party. My mother made the whole dinner herself. I had girlfriends and they were all there and I got a lot of presents. It was a really big celebration. The last room was used as a checkroom. We had an apprentice in the shop, who came and helped out as a checkroom attendant.

I remember that there was fish, and there was soup, and there was also farfl, tarhonya, with poultry and all kinds of things. A few years earlier, my mother had pickled sour cherries in spirits, for liqueur. Back then she still bought spirits to pickle sour cherries. And she said, at the first family celebration, that bottle would be opened and drunk. Well, that took a few years.

During my engagement period I was crocheting sofa pillows, in a special manner, and I was also knitting sofa pillows. And for my engagement I got pieces of needlework from my girlfriends.

Then Michi set up on his own. Before that, he had worked with his uncle. He bought and hired machines. Back then there was serious housing shortage. He worked with his brother-in-law and I said, ‘That’s okay as long as we’re not married, but afterward I will be your partner.’ And so it happened.

I was the first of the siblings to marry; after all, I was also the oldest. The civil wedding was a year later. Michi wasn’t even of age at the time. In Hungary one only attained legal age at 24. He still needed his parents’ approval. When we got married, he was already 24, but when he handed in the papers for the wedding, he was still a minor. He was a foreigner and so was I. In Germany they were very strict about that back then. I was Polish by descent. I needed a certificate of no impediment to marriage from Poland. We handed the matter over to lawyers, who took care of everything. The thing you needed was money; otherwise you ended up running from one authority to the next.

Well, then we got married. I insisted on the temple on Oranienburger Strasse. We went to Leipziger Strasse to buy lace for the wedding dress. On Leipziger Strasse there was also ‘Michels,’ a silk store – and what a wonderful store! There we bought the embroidered bridal veil. Then flowers had to be ordered, the bridal bouquet and myrtle, the restaurant and the food. The large department store ‘Tietz’ was on Alexanderplatz, and before that was the Kupfergraben, and there was a kosher restaurant there. Opposite it was Grenadierstrasse and the Jewish neighborhood, including the restaurant where we ordered the food.

The civil wedding, which was only an act, took place seven weeks before the Jewish wedding. However, I still signed with my maiden name. I didn’t realize that I was actually already married. The witnesses at the civil wedding were my father and Michi’s uncle. We went straight back to work afterwards. I went to the mikveh; my mother’s cousin dragged me there. The wedding was on Sunday and I went to the mikveh on Saturday evening. On Saturday afternoon and evening all my girlfriends came to our place. They had a good time, my fiancé was also there, and I had to go to the mikveh. The woman there checked my fingernails to make sure they weren’t dirty and I was doused.

Before the wedding we drove to a photographer whose studio was at the beginning of Schönhauser Allee. He was Russian by birth, his name was Pergamentschik and he was one of the best photographers in town. Then Hitler came to power and Pergamentschik immigrated to Palestine and opened a studio there.

The temple on Oranienburger Strasse was the most beautiful temple in Berlin, and, it was even said, the most beautiful one in all Europe. We invited people only for the ceremony and others for the meal in the restaurant afterwards. According to tradition, two married couples have to accompany the bride to the chuppah; they are called ‘unterfirer’ [Yiddish for bridesmaid and groomsmaid]. In our case they were my parents and Michi’s sister and his brother-in-law, who also lived in Berlin. [Editor’s note: According to tradition, the bride’s and the groom’s mothers accompany them to the chuppah.] Two little girls, the daughters of a friend, were scattering flowers. Everyone was very elegant. We followed the girls, then came two young boys carrying the bridal train, and the wedding party followed. My four girlfriends wore elegant dresses: light green, light blue, the third was mauve and the fourth pink.

Then the wedding ceremony followed. However, before one is wed, they ask for the certificate from the registry office. In Germany that was law because a Jewish wedding wasn’t acknowledged here – in Austria and Czechoslovakia it was, though. People there didn’t have to go to the registry office at the time. Therefore, many couples went to Czechoslovakia to get married because they didn’t have the necessary papers.

My wedding dress train was carried by two little boys in sailor suits who were quarrelling. They were five years old, one later became my nephew, the other one was the son of a girlfriend. One boy was pulling the train this way, the other one was pulling it the other way. I permanently had to hold on to it.

Afterward we went for the meal at the restaurant on Kupfergraben, directly on Alexanderstrasse. Next to it stood the large department store ‘Hermann Tietz.’ One of the wedding guests was a printer, a really lovely boy, who had printed the invitations and place cards for us as a wedding gift. As for the other wedding gifts, they were what people usually gave as gifts back then. Today they make lists. From one guest I got a sofa blanket, a chaise longue blanket, which I still have today. From others I got bedside rugs, eiderdown quilts and crystal.

The food was good; my mother had made the fish, real Polish carp, served cold with a jelly sauce and barkhes. It was cold outside and the waiters didn’t feel in the slightest like serving; we had to urge them to. There were only two or three waiters. The plan was to dance after the meal; after all there were a lot of young people there. But the music was horrible, too. My girlfriend’s brother was a wonderful pianist and could play anything by heart; he could play without music. So he sat down at the piano and started to play, and then we were able to dance properly.

Afterward we went to our apartment, which was already completely furnished. We had found an apartment on Alte Schönhauser Strasse, which formerly housed a police station. It became both our apartment and workshop. The apartment was big and there was a huge study with three windows facing the second courtyard. I also had a beautiful bedroom and, of course, the windows were also facing the courtyard. My father went shopping with me and so we could buy the most beautiful bedroom wholesale. The owner of the shop, a wholesaler, told me later that a musician had bought exactly the same bedroom. It was mahogany, very dark mahogany with inlaid work in silver. I also got a beautiful dining-room. The workshop was already set up, the cutting machines were already there; my husband had already worked in the apartment before the wedding. Some of the wedding presents had already been brought to the apartment, too.

Then the wedding night followed and in the morning I heard the key turn in the door. My husband jumped out of bed and into his trousers and ran outside. It was my father! He wanted to heat the room, so it would be warm by the time I woke up. He even heated the bedroom. You should have seen how upset my mother was!

Our daughter Bessy was born on 10th December 1929, exactly ten months after the wedding. I got married on 10th February and she was born on 10th December. My husband and I were both still very young, but fortunately I had my parents to help us. The first six weeks I stayed with my parents, while my husband stayed in our apartment. He came to see us and I went to see him. During the day I went there and worked a bit, while the child was with my parents. I knew I had to be back in three hours to feed the child, but I was only ten minutes away from my parent’s place.

My father was ‘dislodged’ and I slept in the room with my mother and the baby. We didn’t have a cot at my parents’, the baby slept between us in the bed. At home, Bessy had a beautiful white cot, of course, and also a white baby carriage, which my sister had given me as a present. My father didn’t allow me to go outside with the child, because it was terribly cold. He only allowed me to do so after six weeks, and then only when he came along. When my second daughter, Lilly, was born, my father said, ‘I have six daughters.’

When Bessy was two-and-a-half years old I took her to Hungary to visit the in-laws and my husband’s relatives. My husband stayed in Berlin, as we had the workshop and he couldn’t leave.

My father-in-law owned a bakery. The family lived in a suburb of Budapest, in Ujpest, which means New Pest. Ujpest is a twenty-minute tram-ride from Budapest, which is a beautiful city. On the one side, there is the Old Town; on the other side is the modern business city. There were wonderful coffee shops. You could sit on the quay at the Danube and you could go on a trip aboard a steamer – I felt at ease there. Then I returned to Berlin. They had packed a beautiful goose and goose liver and salami for me. In those days people still went by train, and from Berlin to Budapest the journey took 20 hours. I went back to Berlin onboard the Orient Express.

I arrived, everyone was very happy, and nine months later, on 6th May 1933, my second daughter, Lilly, came into the world. And I didn’t want that, I only wanted to have one child. Back then it was popular to only have one child. All my girlfriends and my sister-in-law, my husband’s sister, only had one child. My husband’s sister wanted to help me. She told me I should drink tea, sit in hot water and jump from the table, but nothing helped. Finally I told my mother that I was pregnant and she did not mince words: ‘What is that? Don’t do it! What’s another child? Why don’t you want to have it? The age difference is just right!’ But the worst thing was that she told my daughter about this once she had grown up. And from then on my daughter always told me, ‘You didn’t want to have me.’

My husband, who hadn’t been kosher at all when he lived with his parents in Budapest, conformed to my rules completely. It wasn’t difficult to live kosher anyways, you could get everything. In Grenadierstrasse, Dragonerstrasse and Mulackstrasse there were only kosher shops and devout people. There was this one devout Jew, who they said did penance, as he had been a lout in his youth, hanging around with girls, with Christians – so he was this impossible guy. Then he got married and did penance, only wore the long coat and white socks and grew a beard – and he was a redhead. He had six children and lived on Grenadierstrasse.

This street was the center of the Eastern Jewry in Berlin. They spoke Polish and Yiddish there. You could find second-hand dealers, butchers, fish stores, vegetable stores, bakeries and Jewish restaurants. My husband and I often went out for dinner; we loved kishke with farfl, which was really good there. Farfl is a kind of pasta, tarhonya is grated barley dough [egg barley]. Kishke is a dish made of stuffed beef casings. You make the dough from flour, fat, a little bit of semolina, salt, pepper, a bit of garlic and use that to stuff the beef casings. And that is cooked or fried along with the tarhonya. You make a hard dough and grate it on a grater and get smaller and bigger pieces, and those you fry in fat. That’s delicious, oh dear, I often cooked that myself, too.

There was a Jewish kindergarten on Gipsstrasse and a Jewish elementary school on Auguststrasse. The director of the Jewish elementary school had been one of my class teachers at the Jewish high school. When I took my daughter Bessy to her, she said, ‘What, you’re already bring me your daughter?’ You see, we four girls were in that same school. That’s something you don’t forget so easily.

My sister Betty, who is only one year younger than me, is the exact opposite of me. She doesn’t talk as much as I do, and she clung on to me wherever I was. My husband and I went away for three months after our wedding, since we hadn’t had a honeymoon. So we went on vacation for five days over Whitsun. The day after we left, my sister arrived. She slept in the same room as we did.

My brother’s name was Anschel like Rothschild, in German Arthur. We called him Anschi. My brother was and still is a wonderful person. He was a Zionist from the moment he was born. In Berlin he joined Hashomer Hatzair 5. My father told him to study, but Anschi said that they didn’t need any doctors and university graduates in Palestine, that what they needed for the building of Palestine were farmers. After two years of grammar school he moved out of home and in with his organization, I think it was Habonim 6, and then they left for Palestine. I went to the station to say goodbye.

They went to the Hule area up at Galil [Upper Galilee in northern Israel]. There was only marshland with mosquitoes and wasps there, and that had to be cleared. They worked there and slept in tents. He got malaria and typhoid. He went through a lot. My brother lives in Haifa today. He and his wife Rosel were in the Bund 7 together, so she’s a friend from his youth. He became a locksmith and worked hard from morning to evening. Arthur has two daughters: Ruth, whose married name is Dickstein and Jael, whose married name is Rappoport. He made it possible for both his daughters to get a very good education.

My sister Betty was dismissed in 1933 on racist grounds, and that’s when my mother pricked up her ears. In December 1933 Betty moved to Palestine. In Berlin, she had worked at the court and was given civil service status. My mother, who was very circumspect and wise, said, ‘Betty, it’s pointless, we all have to leave and you will be the first to go to Palestine.’ Back then the British asked for a certificate, which you got if you had a certain profession, for example in agriculture, and if you had enough money you could buy such a certificate.

Betty did hachshara 8 and the Palestine Office 9 sent her to Poland, where she lived in a commune. She had to wash the bloody skins of the animals they skinned there. She said she found it really disgusting, that it was horrible. She left behind the clothes she wore there; she didn’t bring them home. She was so sensitive. When I asked her, ‘Betty, do you have a pair of stockings I can borrow?’ she replied, ‘Not borrow, you can keep them.’ God forbid, she even made a fuss when someone put on her dressing-gown.

We weren’t allowed to send over any money by then. However, through all our passports we could send 10 marks a month. My father collected a few hundred dollars through these transfers in Palestine.

Betty first attended the WIZO 10 school in order to learn how to cook. WIZO was this women’s organization. That lasted for half a year. She worked in the house of Chaim Weizmann’s 11 mother, where she met her future husband, Perez Chaim. He was an electrical engineer and worked at Rutenberg, which was a large power company in Israel. His father was a theologian. They don’t have children.

The next one to immigrate to Palestine was Erna. She was four years younger than me. Erna spent a lot of time at home, as she had poor eyesight. She was operated on one eye, and couldn’t see very well with the other, either. She was born like this and my mother always felt sorry for her. Erna has to spare her eyes: she will stay at home, she will cook, run the household. We could do needlework, knit and all kinds of other things, but Erna wasn’t allowed to – she had to spare her eyes.

In Berlin there was a Jewish club called Nordau [named after Max Nordau] 12. Erna met her future husband, Heinz-Werner Goldstein, in this club. He was so proud of his ‘Germanness.’ We would permanently hear: ‘Back at home…’ Even when he lived in Israel, he still compared everything. ‘Back at home it was like this…’ We even started to jokingly call him ‘Back at home.’ He wanted to attend the High School for Politics, but then Hitler came to power and he couldn’t. So he went to France in order to get a certificate. He worked in the vineyards there.

My sister’s love of her youth was Max Selinger. He was a very good violinist; my sister was good at the piano, and they always played together in our apartment – we had a piano at home. We all really liked him. Well, his mother had other plans for him.

So Erna went to Palestine with Heinz-Werner, but he couldn’t get a job and ended up delivering newspapers. My sister worked as a cleaning lady, and later she ran a kindergarten in their apartment. He did any work he could get. They had two children, Aliza and Dan. After Heinz-Werner’s death my sister sold her apartment in Haifa. Her daughter and son-in-law contributed some money and bought her an apartment in Raanana, so they could be together every day. She only had to go across the street to see them. And they furnished her apartment in Raanana exactly like her old one in Haifa, so she wouldn’t miss anything.

Cilly moved to Palestine along with our parents in 1939. In Berlin, Cilly had worked for the Palestine Office. She traveled all over Germany to visit rich Jews and collect money for the Youth Aliyah 13. She was already married at the time and wanted to immigrate to Palestine with her husband, Rudi Abraham, but at the Palestine Office they said; ‘We need your help, we need your collecting skills.’ She had a very special appearance: she was an elegant woman and beautiful on top of that. She was always told, ‘If you want to go to Palestine, you won’t have to wait.’ She was traveling around, collecting money. She knows everything. She can write books, translate in four languages, and she was a press spokeswoman of Ben Gurion 14. In America, she was consul under Eisenhower 15 and lived in New York for one-and-a-half years.

She’s the youngest of us four girls and has the best education. We all had to do what our father said, while Cilly could do whatever she wanted, I don’t know why. And that, although I was his favorite daughter. She went to grammar school and did her finals just before the Nazis came to power in 1933. She then spent one-and-a-half years in Latvia, on hachshara in Riga, where she met her first husband, Rudi Abraham. He was from Berlin and had studied to become a lawyer. He was still an apprentice, and underwent in-service training back then. She married him and moved to Palestine with him. He had to start his studies from scratch, as Turkish law was in force in Palestine at the time. First, however, he had to learn the language. Cilly was in America at the time; he was in Palestine on his own and they grew apart. She was away for two-and-a-half years. The marriage fell apart.

While in America she met her second husband, Joshua Brandstetter. He was 23 years older than her. He was the bohemian type, and made films. He brought Israel’s Habima troupe 16 to America and got the actors engagements. He also painted. The two of them remained together until he died of kidney failure.

During the War

My father was arrested in 1938, immediately after Crystal Night 17, and deported to Poland 18. He was allowed to take 10 marks and a small briefcase along with him. I remember that we gave him his gold watch on a chain to take along. We still had relatives in Poland, and I always acted as intermediary. Since I was married to a Hungarian, I wasn’t afraid yet. I organized myself a visa for Poland. I wanted to see my father and bring him money. When I returned from the passport office, my mother was coming up to meet me and said, ‘You don’t have to travel to Poland, Papa has received permission to come back and pick me up and we will move to Palestine together.’

When my father returned from Poland we started to pack everything. My younger daughter was supposed to start school at the time, as she was six years old. My sisters didn’t give up and managed to get the entry permit from the British. My father left heavy-heartedly because I remained behind with my family. He said, ‘It’s a crying shame.’ He had a hard time to part. ‘It’s a crying shame. I go and leave my child behind.’ And he added, ‘I won’t rest until I manage to get you over there.’

My father had saved some 300 dollars: in three 100 dollar bills. Now he had to pack. The boxes were already gone. Our silver cutlery was in there, too. We packed them in the apartment. I had ordered a crate of beer. The customs officers were drinking, while the Jewish forwarding agent was packing, even my silver candlesticks – it was legal to take them. And we thought that the boxes would be shipped straight ahead, if the customs officers packed directly in the apartment. But as luck would have it, they were opened again at the customs post. They took out all the silver things. But the Jewish packers, as I told you we used a Jewish forwarding agent, repacked them; they succeeded in doing that. So in the end everything was shipped off just fine.

But where do you hide 300 dollars? I had my underwear, the silk one, for instance, which slipped easily, fixed to these clothes-boards you could buy ready-made. It was tied up with pink ribbons, so it would lie properly. My mother had the idea to make such a board – she organized a piece of carton and some colorful fabric embroidered with little roses – and slipped in the 300 dollars. It was not quite as beautiful as the original ones and it was also a bit smaller. Only my parents and I knew where the money was.

My parents, my youngest sister Cilly and I went to Alexanderplatz to check in the luggage. My sister was standing on one side; I was standing on the other. The customs officer took out every single piece and put it next to the suitcase, including the clothes-boards. And all of a sudden he said, ‘So, tell me, where are you hiding your dollars?’ My father was restless, he repeatedly went outside. And my sister said quite unashamedly to his face, ‘You know, if I wanted to smuggle dollars, I’d find a much better way of doing so.’ Upon that he put everything back into the suitcase. My father said, ‘Resi, one 100 dollar bill is yours.’ And he kept that 100 dollar bill until I went to Israel for the first time. However, I never saw my father again. He did learn about the birth of my son, who was born in 1945, but he passed away two years later, in 1947.

My husband said, ‘Nothing can happen to us in Hungary.’ Three weeks after the outbreak of war you had to black out your apartment, and food ration cards were introduced. Of course, Jews got less. Apart from that, we could only go shopping at certain hours and not during the whole day. So then we packed our suitcases and went to Budapest, because my husband claimed in Budapest nothing would ever happen. However, to be on the safe side, I had organized entry permits to Palestine for my children.

We found a small apartment, two rooms and a kitchen, in Ujpest. The boxes with my things from Berlin had already arrived. We had sold the furniture. Those were emergency sales. For my bedroom, which had cost 4,000 marks, I got 400. But I sent things ahead of our departure from Berlin: bed sheets, curtains, silver candlesticks and silver cutlery. For my wedding I had received stuffed quilts, made in Poland. My mother ordered the goose feathers, real ones, there. I wanted a certain size. The average size for a feather bed was 1.40 meters, but I wanted them to be 1.50 meters. So those were made in Poland. In Budapest they had white linings and mine were red. I had also sent some of my things to Israel [then Palestine] with my mother, in case we immigrated to Palestine.

‘Stay in Hungary,’ my parents wrote. Back then you could only enter Palestine if you had a certificate stating that your profession was needed in the country. It was said that we could only enter with capitalist certificates. And this certificate included a capital of so many thousand British pounds. My parents wrote to us, saying that the capital would be deposited for us in Holland so that we could enter as capitalists. Much to our misfortune, though, the Germans invaded Holland.

My sister-in-law gave me her kitchen; she was a rich woman. Then she gave me a table and chairs. And my husband was even able to work. In Berlin, he was self-employed. But he went to Budapest; it was only a 20-minute ride on the tram. Opposite our apartment was a Jewish girls’ school. The Jews in Hungary still lived a good life. My girls had already gone to school in Berlin. The older one had finished four grades of elementary school and the younger one was in first grade back then.

At that time many Jews lived in Budapest, I think around 200,000.

My mother-in-law didn’t approve of me because I wasn’t Hungarian. Her son had married a German and she didn’t like that. But my father-in-law was very nice to me. At the beginning I didn’t know a single word of Hungarian; later I learned the language. In any case, most Hungarians spoke German. My mother-in-law even wrote me letters in German. My husband had a brother, who worked in his father’s bakery; he was also a baker. That brother was my mother-in-law’s favorite. He was the only one who survived the Holocaust; all the others were deported to concentration camps and killed. He inherited an awful lot after the war. A year later he had lost everything because he couldn’t handle money. He maygarized his name. They were called Weisz; I was called Weisz, too. My children, and especially Bessy, said after the war, ‘Let’s bury the hatchet. Family is family.’ They were poor people; this was under communism. My daughters bought children’s clothes for his grandchild. I often visited Budapest, but I didn’t live with them, as they were very poor.

I had a rich friend and his wife there. He had been in the camp with us, that’s where the friendship started. He was wonderful. His name was Ferry and he was a shoemaker. He had his own workshop and made elegant shoes. He died of liver cancer.

My husband went to work, my children went to school, that wasn’t a problem. But I didn’t have any friends, just family. There was the rich daughter, my husband’s sister, who owned two houses and a beautiful store. She often invited us to lunch on the holidays. In 1938 she got baptized, along with a friend of hers, also a rich woman. My sister-in-law only had one son, Stefan – Pista was the short Hungarian version of his name. Her friend had one daughter. My father-in-law was terribly angry that his daughter had got baptized. He had this wry sense of humor, and once he asked the two women, ‘Why did you do this?’ And my sister-in-law’s friend said, in order for her daughter to make a better match. Upon which my father-in-law murmured, ‘Oh, so she can marry a boozy goy [non-Jew]?’

At Christmas, my sister-in-law had a big Christmas tree. She had a cook, she had a shop-assistant in the store; she was elegant; she had fur coats. We all went there for food; we were invited, my Jewish children and I. And all of a sudden this friend of hers lies down under the Christmas tree and says, ‘Oh, what a great feeling to lie underneath a Christmas tree.’ I thought I’d explode! Her daughter, my sister-in-law’s son and the maid had been to church in the morning. And the children came home and showed us the pictures of saints they had got at church. They were ten years old, just like my Bessy. And the little one said how wonderful it was to be a Christian and showed the pictures to my Lilly. Lilly was six or seven at the time. And she spoke very little. The older one was a chatterbox like me, but as for the younger one, what she said hit home. She was standing there, looking at the pictures of the saints. My older daughter was arguing about what was better: to be a Jew or to be a Christian. And the little one just listened and then all of a sudden blurted out: ‘Well, but deep inside there, your blood is Jewish.’

In the evening, my husband and father-in-law sat in the coffee shop and watched the other people play cards. I was at home with the children. It was already dark, when my father-in-law came up to me and said, ‘Resi, I need Michi’s papers. There were detectives in the coffee shop and Michi only had his passport.’ The passport was issued in Berlin. It was a Hungarian passport and still valid for another two years. He proved his identity with this passport and they said that it could’ve been forged and arrested him.

I didn’t have my husband’s certificate of family origin; it had remained in Berlin when he got the passport. The next day everything was quiet. It was Purim. On the second day – my daughter Lilly was in bed, as she didn’t want to go to the Purim celebration at school, and Bessy was at school – I was in the kitchen and was ironing. There was a knock at the door and two men came in. They asked me who I was, introduced themselves, saying they were from the immigration department, and would I be so kind to come with them. They wanted to take me and the children. Lilly was at home, and my neighbor went to fetch Bessy from school. I had a Jewish neighbor and told her to inform my in-laws at the bakery about what had happened, that we had been arrested.

So we went there, but I didn’t give them my passport. After all, they had taken my husband’s passport away. So I didn’t show them my passport. That was out of the question! Then they took my children and me to an internment camp by tram. There my husband saw us. When he saw us he had a crying fit. I tried to comfort him and said, ‘Michi, the main thing is that we are together.’

We lived in barracks built on to the temple. I was allowed to go to our apartment, accompanied by a detective, to fetch bedclothes; I was even allowed to take an eiderdown quilt for the children, so they’d be able to sleep better. There were bunk beds in the barracks. The girls were up top and I slept on the bottom. There were separate barracks for men and women. At daytime we were guarded by detectives, at night by policemen. There were approximately 40 to 50 people there. After some three or fours weeks, they sent us to the province, where they had closed camps at the Czech border. Those were former customs houses. People from the Jewish community came to see us and took care of us. The watchmen were Hungarians.

I still had the exit permits for my children. I always wrote Red Cross letters – via my cousin in Argentina, who forwarded them – and thus we were still in touch with my family in Palestine. My brother-in-law wrote from Palestine: ‘Send the children, please send the children. We will raise them as if they were our own.’ And they were right, in Palestine the children would be safe. 

The Jewish community in Budapest organized it all. My sister-in-law had made sure that the children got onto a list and received the entry permit for Palestine. The children got passports that didn’t state a nationality. Lilly didn’t want to leave; she was eight, and Bessy was eleven when they left. In the end, they agreed, but the younger one told me that her sister had beaten her until she said ‘yes.’ This way, she saved her life. I was allowed to accompany the children to Budapest. My husband, who was in the men’s camp, was only allowed to take them to the bus stop. That’s where he said goodbye to them. And that was the last time, the very last time, they saw their father.

We first had to go to the station and take the train to Budapest. A detective fetched and accompanied us. Lilly was standing at the window with tears running down her face. They went to Bulgaria by train, then crossed over into Turkey by ship and from there, went by bus via Syria to Palestine. My parents welcomed them in Palestine. They already had a beautiful apartment there, and took in the children.

On my husband’s death notification it said: cardiac arrest. I was told later that he’d died of spotted fever. He was sent to Russia, to Kiev [today Ukraine], for labor service. They had to dig and search for mines. I was allowed to leave the internment camp and still had the small apartment. I worked for a lawyer, but had to register with the police every eighth day. I was the widow of a laborer. I received a widow’s certificate.

My parents-in-law already lived in my sister-in-law’s house – after all, she had two houses. She took in her parents as well as one sister with her child and another still unmarried sister. Then came the year 1944. Eichmann 19 arrived in Budapest to establish ‘order.’ Because of my green widow’s certificate I was free, and had to register. My husband was dead, so I had advantages. I wanted to see how my husband’s family was; I didn’t want to dissociate myself from them. I went to their place by tram. It was the day Eichmann arrived in Budapest, 21st or 22nd March, I remember that date to this day. When I got off the tram I was arrested.

I was taken to a house, which was filled with some 400 people, all Jews. We were locked up there and no one knew what would happen. We were then crammed into a transport vehicle and we drove and drove and drove. There were no windows, so we didn’t know where we were going. All of a sudden we were unloaded and found ourselves in a huge courtyard. I looked around and saw many captured men on the other side. And there were about 400 of us women. In the middle of the courtyard was a water pump, which we drank from with cupped hands. We were standing there and standing there and it gradually got dark. We were suddenly called into the building, the women separately. An officer sat there, writing down our names. That was arranged alphabetically, by group, starting with the letter ‘A.’ Well, I was one of the last, since my name, Weisz, starts with a ‘W.’ I was among those still standing and waiting outside; we didn’t know what was going to happen, but no one came back out.

In the end it was our turn. We, i.e. those whose name started with a ‘W,’ went inside and there sat this tall, handsome man. Whether he was a policeman, I don’t know, but he wore a light-green uniform. When it was my turn, I put my husband’s death notification on the table and said, ‘I don’t speak Hungarian.’ He looked at me, then looked at the death notification, then looked at me again and said in German, ‘You are an Israelite?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ What else could I say? And he looked at me again. Then he asked me where I was headed. And I said, ‘I wanted to go visit my parents-in-law and that’s when I was brought here.’ I never showed him my passport.

Then we were taken into a huge room and there we were some 400 women again. It was the remand prison of Budapest, close to the Keleti station. It was nighttime. We were locked up, and by that night Budapest had already been bombed: at daytime by the Americans and British, at nighttime by the Russians. We were sitting there and permanently saw the flares the Russians fired before they dropped bombs. The women prayed for the next bomb to hit us. For, you know, we expected the worst, the very worst. We were in there for four days: we had arrived on Tuesday and were released on Friday. They didn’t know where to take us. The men were deported, that we knew. But they didn’t know where to take the 400 women. They didn’t have trains. That was our great fortune.

When they released us we had to give them our addresses, and I was afraid to return to my room. But we had a Viennese friend in Budapest, a widow, who had been married to a Hungarian. The husband had been a Christian and they had a daughter, Susi, who was 15 back then. When she opened the door for me, she couldn’t believe her eyes: ‘Resi, you are alive?’ And what can I say, I opened the door to the room and there sat my future husband, Alfred Rosenstein, with a friend. I knew him from the internment camp. He saw me, and back then we didn’t have a relationship yet, nothing at all, and he came running towards me, hugged me and said, ‘Resi, no one will part us again!’

My [second] husband, Alfred Rosenstein, was born in Vienna on 17th April 1898, the fifth child of Süsie Rosenstein – born in Rohatyn, Galicia ‑ and Beile Rosenstein, nee Bienstock. Süsie, a descendant of ‘HaShalo hakadosh’ [famous rabbi and forerunner of Hasidism], was a tailor or textile dealer and died in 1929. Beile died in London in 1945.
Alfred’s siblings were: Moritz, Franziska, Samuel, Josef, Cilly and Hedi.
Moritz Rosenstein, whom they called Mur, was a chemist and partner of an oil refinery in Vienna. He was on a business trip in London at the time of the Anschluss 20 and remained there. He never returned to Vienna, and died in the 1950s. His daughter, Hanni, lives in Tel Aviv and has two grown-up daughters; his son fell in World War II.
Franziska Wessely, nee Rosenstein, fled from Vienna to Yugoslavia. She lived with false papers in Slovenia and committed suicide when the Ustasha 21 knocked on her door. They, however, only wanted to ask the way to some place they were headed.
Samuel Rosenstein fled to Holland with his wife and two children. He and his family were killed by the Nazis.
Josef Rosenstein was an insurance salesman. He also fled to Yugoslavia, where he was killed by the Ustasha.
Cilly managed to immigrate to Australia via England. She died in 1962. Her daughter, Fairlie Nassau, who was born in 1945, lives in Melbourne and has two grown-up children.
Hedi Pahmer [nee Rosenstein] married a Hungarian and moved to Budapest with him. She was deported to Bergen-Belsen 22 concentration camp, where she survived the war. Afterward she also immigrated to Australia.

Rosa’s son, Zwi Bar-David, nee Georg Rosenstein, shares some memories of his father:
My father’s family lived in Vienna’s third district, on Untere Weißgerberlände. He went to elementary and secondary modern school. In 1916 he was drafted into the k.u.k. army 23 and served as an artilleryman at the Italian front 24. After World War I, he worked with his brother Moritz, played football at Hakoah 25 and spent a lot of time with friends in coffee shops. Until his escape to Hungary he lived with his mother; allegedly he was her ‘spoiled darling.’ During immigration he was in an internment camp, and, following the German invasion, in hiding. He met my mother and her first husband at the camp. Following her husband’s death, they got closer and that’s how I came into the world.
In 1948 Alfred and my mother – they got married in 1947 – and I returned to Vienna. We first got a room in an apartment in the Russian-occupied part of the city. We gradually took over the whole apartment. My father tried to get by as a salesman as best he could. The economical situation, however, only improved somewhat with the beginning of the German reparation payments. Alfred died of stomach cancer in 1961.

I knew my future husband from the camp. He was so charming; the women were crazy about him. My husband first moved in with me. Not only him, a friend of his moved in, too, and then my niece from Hungary came to live with us as well. She had got a Christian birth certificate through a friend, and then fled. Jola was her name, and she was a stunningly beautiful girl. A Christian friend of my parents’-in-law knew my address in Budapest, and so she came to stay with me. My husband shared a bed with his friend and I shared one with her. Later she immigrated to America. She met a widower, whose wife didn’t survive [the Holocaust], and his little son. He fell in love with her and they went to Italy together. She sent me a postcard from Rome, saying that she had married and would go to America with him. She later had four children, two girls and two boys.

We had a mutual acquaintance, a Jew from Yugoslavia, who had been in the camp with us. He had bought false papers a few months earlier. But he looked like ten Jews. Well, he bribed the janitor of a villa and we, nine of us, were then hiding from the mass deportations in one room of that villa. The janitor took money to hide us, he was easy to bribe. In the end, when it was all over, when we were already dancing in the streets, 60 Jews suddenly appeared from the villa next door - the janitor had been hiding them in return for money and jewelry, in coal cellars and what not. This is why I said, in Budapest you could get anything, if you had money.

I knew I was pregnant and I said to myself: either the child will perish with me, or I do something. And my husband said, ‘You won’t do anything. If we survive, we will have a child.’ He didn’t allow me to do anything. But I went to see the doctor in the ghetto anyways. He told me, ‘I won’t do anything! Do you want to die of sepsis?’ You see, he didn’t have instruments, nothing at all. My husband immediately said, ‘There’s no way you are going to do this. We will get married.’ Our son, Georg, was born in Budapest on 27th June 1945. It took a bit longer until we married. At that time, our son was already one-and-a-half years old.

We were lying in the room wearing our coats – there were no windows any more – and all of a sudden I heard a voice speaking into a megaphone: ‘This is the Russian Army. People of Budapest, wait! We will liberate you.’ Budapest is surrounded by a hill. It took days for them to get across. ‘Hold on, we will liberate you.’ That’s what they said in German, Hungarian and Russian. And so we waited. One fine day, it was a Sunday, I was standing at the window, there was a deathly silence and I saw a Russian with a fur hat and machine-gun coming through the garden towards the house. I turned round and said, ‘There’s a Russian here.’ And one guy ran down into the garden and hugged the Russian. When he – his name was Steiner – returned, his watch was missing. But he said, ‘Never mind.’

My girlfriend was hiding somewhere else. She was Czech and was hidden in a coal cellar. She always said, ‘The first Russian horse I see – I will kiss its behind.’

 Post-war

After the liberation, I walked through the city of Budapest, and I was standing at the fence of the temple, watching the Russians bury the dead from the ghetto there. Survivors were allowed to take their dead relatives and bury them privately. Tony Curtis 26, the film actor, who is Hungarian, a Jew from Budapest, had a tree planted there, a beautiful willow that shines like gold. One can have the names of the murdered written on its leaves.

I stayed in Hungary. I said, ‘I won’t go to Vienna until we have our own apartment there.’ And my husband always said that they didn’t have anything to eat there yet, no meat or, well, just pork. I felt fine in Hungary and said, ‘I’ll only leave once we have our own apartment and once there is enough food.’ And so he traveled back and forth, and always came back with the news: not yet, not yet.

Before the war, my husband’s sisters had a restaurant called ‘Grill am Peter,’ which, however, was Aranyzed. Then my husband wanted to put in a claim for reparation payment in order to get back the fortune. The restaurant actually belonged to his eldest sister, who was killed in the Holocaust. She had furnished it for the siblings. My husband’s siblings were in Australia and had handed the restaurant over to the Nazis back then. Upon that, they received a certificate stating that they had received 5,000 marks and could thus immigrate to England legally. One of the sisters married a man and went to Australia with him. The other sister was deported to Bergen-Belsen and survived with severe injuries. She had to learn to walk again and, after that, she also moved to Australia.

My husband filed a lawsuit – back then there were restitution courts. And there were always only two judges. The Aryan who took over the restaurant had died. Her son took it over. At the first hearing my husband was offered 35,000 schillings as reparation. Our lawyer was Dr. Pik, who would later become president of the Jewish community. He had gone to school with my husband. At the second hearing they offered him 65,000 schillings. Then, the lawyer said to my husband, ‘If they are already willing to pay 65,000, there will be more.’ At the third hearing three judges were present. Two said the restaurant had to be returned. You see, my husband didn’t want the money; he wanted the restaurant so that we would be able to build a life for ourselves. The third judge said it wasn’t fair to take away the young man’s livelihood since he didn’t have anything to do with the Aranysation. That was already the attitude back then. The young man got the restaurant because the three judges agreed. My husband didn’t get a cent for the restaurant.

My husband had a certificate stating that he had been persecuted on racist grounds and was in a camp. Back then the districts of Vienna were shared out among the victorious powers. The major of our district was a communist, and my husband was allocated an apartment thanks to this certificate.

Initially, I didn’t want to go to Austria; I wanted to move to my children and parents in Israel. But my husband said that he didn’t have a proper profession to go to Israel. He was a businessman and worked for his brother, who owned a large oil company. He worked as a salesman. That wasn’t the right profession for Israel. There, you had to have money, money to set up on your own. So what was he to do at his age? After all, he was ten years older than me, so not young any more. He wanted to go to Austria to put in a claim for reparation payment and get the money so we could immigrate to Israel.

I stayed in Vienna because I didn’t want my children or relatives to maintain me. I went to Israel for the first time in 1949 with my son. Back then you still went by ship. When my husband got his first reparation payment, which was 16,000 schillings, he said, ‘You go, to see your children.’ The money wasn’t enough for both of us to go.

The journey by ship took five days. It was beautiful. My mother was still alive then. She had a nice two-and-a-half room apartment in Tel Aviv. My sister had a beautiful apartment, directly by the sea, on Hayarkon [a street by the sea in Tel Aviv]. Later, they built hotels there and you couldn’t see the ocean from her apartment any more.

My daughter Bessy was already married to a certain Mr. Aharoni and had a five-month-old baby. She married at the age of 18 while she was in the army, the Israeli army. Later she worked for the city council, taking care of elderly people.

Lilly, who was called Drill after her wedding, came to live with me in Vienna for a year. She was exactly 18 then, that was in 1951. She had gone to school in Israel, but, of course, she could speak German. My mother never learned Hebrew. I never saw my father again, that was terrible. Lilly wanted to become a teacher for handicapped children from the very beginning and went to study for it at a school in Vienna.

My son moved to Israel after his final exams. That was shortly after my husband’s death [in 1961]. He lived in a kibbutz there and studied psychology. He changed his name to Zwi Bar-David. He married Ilana, whose family on the mother’s side is also from Berlin, from Scheunenviertel, and they had two daughters and a son. Because of his son’s muscle illness, he, his wife, my then three-year-old grandson Ofir and their younger daughter, Noemi, moved to Vienna. His older daughter, Noga, lives in Israel and works as a nurse. My grandson did his final exams with very good results this year and currently studies at the Technical University of Vienna.

I didn’t like the Austrians. I always regarded them as Nazis. Once, at the beginning of the 1950s, I spent two months in Israel. When I came back to Vienna and went to my local baker to buy bread, the baker’s wife asked me, ‘Mrs. Rosenstein, where have you been for so long?’ I said, ‘I was in Israel.’ And she looked at me and said, ‘You’re Jewish? You don’t look Jewish!’ Upon which I said, ‘Why, Mrs. Schubert? Because I don’t have horns on my head?’ And she said, ‘For Goodness sake, no, I didn’t mean it like that. We had a supplier, a Jew who supplied flour, and he was a decent person, too.’ That was at the beginning of the 1950s. Nothing much has changed over the years. Haider 27 and Stadler [Ewald, politician from the Austrian Freedom Party (FPÖ)], too, give us enough opportunity to think about it. Even if you want to forget, you can’t. We’re confronted with it again and again.

In Germany I didn’t feel any anti-Semitism. I was laughing and joking around with Christian laborers in my father’s workshop. Many of them also knew when our holidays were. I would have loved to go back to Berlin after the war. I think my husband would have liked to go, too. But it wasn’t possible. Then there was his unfortunate sickness: he had cancer and died in 1961 at the age of 63.

I didn’t want to remarry. I was advised to, and there was even this one man, a friend of my husband’s, who proposed to me. My husband had been dead for only two years, it was Christmas, my family lived here and my children were still young. I wasn’t interested. I only had two men in my life, and I know that both loved me. Neither was an arranged marriage; they both got to know me the way I was. My first husband ran after me for a whole year.

I went to Berlin with my sister; back then it was still divided into East and West Berlin. We had an acquaintance from our youth, a neighbor, Sali, who was already in the West, and we wanted to go to East Berlin, our home. You had to change 25 marks into East German marks. And he said, ‘For God’s sake, don’t go, who knows what’s going to happen to you there, you may get into trouble.’ And he talked us out of it. Later I was in East Berlin with my granddaughter. And I didn’t go to the house where we used to live; I simply couldn’t.

Glossary

1 Galicia

The Kingdom of Galicia and Lodomeria, or simply Galicia, was the largest and northernmost province of Austria from 1772 until 1918, with Lemberg (Lwow) as its capital. It was created from territories taken during the partitions of Poland and lasted until the dissolution of Austria-Hungary. Its main activity was agriculture, with some processing industry and mining, and the standard of living was proverbially low. Today it is a historical region split between Poland and the Ukraine. Its population in 1910 was 8,0258,700 of which 58% was Polish, 40% Ruthenian, 1% German and 10% other, or according to religion: Roman Catholic 46%, Eastern Orthodox 42%, Jewish 11%, the remaining 1% Protestant and other. Galicia was the center of the branch of Orthodox Judaism known as Hasidism. Nearly all the Jews in Galicia perished during WWII.

2 The short name of the General Jewish Union of Working People in Lithuania, Poland and Russia, Bund means Union in Yiddish

The Bund was a social democratic organization representing Jewish craftsmen from the Western areas of the Russian Empire. It was founded in Vilnius in 1897. In 1906 it joined the autonomous fraction of the Russian Social Democratic Working Party and took up a Menshevist position. After the Revolution of 1917 the organization split: one part was anti-Soviet power, while the other remained in the Bolsheviks' Russian Communist Party. In 1921 the Bund dissolved itself in the USSR, but continued to exist in other countries.

3 Sabbatarians

A Judaist sect. It was founded in the Principality of Transylvania in the late 16th century by Andras Eossi, a Szekler aristocrat. The doctrine of Sabbatarianism was worked out mainly by his adopted son, Simon Pechi. Sabbatarians were persecuted in the late 16th to early 17th century when the earlier practice of religious freedom was abandoned in Transylvania, yet nevertheless the sect increased in popularity. Sabbatarian preachers limited their preaching to the five books of Moses and followed a strict observance of Sabbath. They wrote their theology in Hungarian and made the first complete Hungarian translation of the Psalms. Their last community in Bozodujfalu (Bezidu Nou in Romanian) was destroyed in the 1980s when a water reservoir was built in its place and the remnants of the Sabbatarians were moved to block apartments. The Bozodujfalu community was founded in 1869 by 105 Szekler-Sabbatarian converts, who built their synagogue in 1874. By 1930 the community merged with Orthodox Jews; they maintained strictly Jewish households, had payes and tzitzit, while much of their clothing was identical to that of the Hungarian peasants. In 1944 they were deported with the rest of the Hungarian Jews to death camps.

4 Zionism

A movement defending and supporting the idea of a sovereign and independent Jewish state, and the return of the Jewish nation to the home of their ancestors, Eretz Israel - the Israeli homeland. The final impetus towards a modern return to Zion was given by the show trial of Alfred Dreyfuss, who in 1894 was unjustly sentenced for espionage during a wave of anti-Jewish feeling that had gripped France. The events prompted Dr. Theodor Herzl (1860-1904) to draft a plan of political Zionism in the tract 'Der Judenstaat' ('The Jewish State', 1896), which led to the holding of the first Zionist congress in Basel (1897) and the founding of the World Zionist Organization (WZO). The WZO accepted the Zionist emblem and flag (Magen David), hymn (Hatikvah) and an action program.

5 Hashomer Hatzair ('The Young Watchman')

Left-wing Zionist youth organization, which started in Poland in 1912 and managed to gather supporters from all over Europe. Their goal was to educate the youth in the Zionist mentality and to prepare them to immigrate to Palestine. To achieve this goal they paid special attention to the so-called shomer-movement (boy scout education) and supported the re-stratification of the Jewish society. They operated several agricultural and industrial training grounds (the so-called chalutz grounds) to train those who wanted to immigrate. In Transylvania the first Hashomer Hatzair groups were established in the 1920s. During World War II, members of the Hashomer Hatzair were leading active resistance against German forces, in ghettoes and concentration camps. After the war, Hashomer Hatzair was active in 'illegal' immigration to Palestine.

6 Habonim

Zionist youth organization in several European countries. Habonim groups in Erdely (Transylvania) had agricultural centers where young people were trained to make aliyah. In the second half of the 1930s, chalutzim of the Transylvanian Habonim also took part in establishing the Kfar Sold Jewish colony in Southern Palestine. The Habonim had two agricultural estates in Erdely in 1940.

7 Bund

The short name of the General Jewish Union of Working People in Lithuania, Poland and Russia, Bund means Union in Yiddish. The Bund was a social democratic organization representing Jewish craftsmen from the Western areas of the Russian Empire. It was founded in Vilnius in 1897. In 1906 it joined the autonomous fraction of the Russian Social Democratic Working Party and took up a Menshevist position. After the Revolution of 1917 the organization split: one part was anti-Soviet power, while the other remained in the Bolsheviks' Russian Communist Party. In 1921 the Bund dissolved itself in the USSR, but continued to exist in other countries.

8 Hachshara

Vocational training (either agricultural or industrial) for young Jews anticipating emigration to Palestine. Education took place in preparation centers, so-called hachsharas. (Migration to Palestine was possible on condition of preliminary education before WWII.)

9 Palestine Office

Immigration organization of the Jewish Agency in Germany, which dealt solely with the immigration of the Jewish population to Palestine. The Palestine Office organized the necessary visas and transport of the emigrants. Following the November pogrom of 1938, the office was put under stronger supervision, but still managed to work more or less independently until spring 1941.

10 WIZO

Women's International Zionist Organization, founded in London in 1920 with humanitarian purposes aiming at supporting Jewish women all over the world in the field of education, economics, science and culture. A network of health, social and educational institutions was created in Palestine between 1921 and 1933, along with numerous local groups worldwide. After WWII its office was moved to Tel Aviv. WIZO became an advisory organ to the UN after WWII (similar to UNICEF or ECOSOC). Today it operates on a voluntary basis, as a party-neutral, non-profit organization, with about 250,000 members in 50 countries (2003).

11 Weizmann, Chaim Azriel (1874-1952)

a Zionist leader, President of the World Zionist Organization, and the first President of the State of Israel. He was elected on 1st February, 1949, and served until 1952. Weizmann also founded the Weizmann Institute of Science in Rehovot, Israel. (Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaim_Weizmann)

12 Nordau, Max (1849-1923)

born Simon Maximilian Südfeld in Pest, Hungary, he was a Zionist leader, physician, author, and social critic. He was a co-founder of the World Zionist Organization together with Theodor Herzl, and president or vice president of several Zionist congresses. As a social critic, he wrote a number of controversial books, including ‘The Conventional Lies of Our Civilisation’ (1883), ‘Degeneration’ (1892), and ‘Paradoxes’ (1896). Although not his most popular or successful work whilst alive, the book most often remembered and cited today is ‘Degeneration.’ (Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Nordau)

13 Aliyah Noar (Youth Aliyah)

Organization founded in 1933 in Berlin by Recha Freier, whose original aim was to help Jewish children and youth to emigrate from Nazi Germany to Palestine. The immigrants were settled in the Ben Shemen kibbutz, where over a period of 2 years they were taught to work on the land and Hebrew. In the period 1934-1945 the organization was run by Henrietta Szold, the founder of the USA women's Zionist organization Hadassa. From that time, Aliyyat Noar was incorporated into the Jewish Agency. After WWII it took 20,000 orphans who had survived the Holocaust in Europe to Israel. Nowadays Aliyyat Noar is an educational organization that runs 7 schools and cares for child immigrants from all over the world as well as young Israelis from families in distress. It has cared for a total of more than 300,000 children.

14 Ben Gurion, David (real name Dawid Grin) (1886-1973)

Zionist leader, Israeli politician, and the first Prime Minister of the state. He was born in Poland. From 1906 he lived in Palestine. He was the leader of the Poalei Zion party, co-founder of the He-Chalutz youth organization, founder of the Achdut ha-Awoda party and the Histadrut trade union congress. From 1933 he was a member of the Jewish Agency executive committee (in the British mandate Palestine), and from 1935-1948 its chairman. He opposed the Revisionist movement within Zionists. After the 1939 announcement of the so-called White Book by the British authorities, limiting the Jewish immigration to Palestine, he supported the development of the Jewish self-defense forces Haganah and illegal immigration. He fought in the 1948 war. On May 14, 1948 he proclaimed the creation of the state Israel. He was Prime Minister and Defense Minister until 1953. After a two-year withdrawal from politics he returned and became Prime Minister once more. In 1965 he became the leader of the new party Rafi (Israeli Labor List) but lost the elections. In 1969 he retired from politics.

15 Eisenhower, Dwight David (1890-1969)

a General of the Army (five star general) in the United States Army and U.S. politician, who served as the thirty-fourth President of the United States (1953–1961). During World War II, he served as Supreme Commander of the Allied forces in Europe, with responsibility for planning and supervising the successful invasion of France and Germany in 1944-45. In 1951, he became the first supreme commander of NATO. Eisenhower was elected the 34th President as a Republican, serving for two terms. As President, he oversaw the cease-fire of the Korean War, kept up the pressure on the Soviet Union during the Cold War, made nuclear weapons a higher defense priority, launched the Space Race, enlarged the Social Security program, and began the Interstate Highway System. (Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwight_D._Eisenhower)

16 Habima

Hebrew theater founded in 1914, initially a touring troupe. From 1917 it was based in Moscow; later it made grand tours of Europe, and from 1926 it was based in Palestine.

17 Kristallnacht

Nazi anti-Jewish outrage on the night of 10th November 1938. It was officially provoked by the assassination of Ernst vom Rath, third secretary of the German embassy in Paris two days earlier by a Polish Jew named Herschel Grynszpan. Following the Germans' engineered atmosphere of tension, widespread attacks on Jews, Jewish property and synagogues took place throughout Germany and Austria. Shops were destroyed; warehouses, dwellings and synagogues were set on fire or otherwise destroyed. Many windows were broken and the action therefore became known as Kristallnacht (Crystal Night). At least 30,000 Jews were arrested and sent to concentration camps in Sachsenhausen, Buchenwald and Dachau. Though the German government attempted to present it as a spontaneous protest and punishment on the part of the Aryan, i.e. non-Jewish population, it was, in fact, carried out by order of the Nazi leaders.

18 "Polenaktion" - First mass deportations of Polish Jews from the German Reich 1938

Rosa Rosenstein is presumably referring here to the so-called 'Polenaktion', the deportation of around 17,000 Jews of Polish nationality from the German Reich to the Polish border at the end of October 1938. Among the deportees was the Grynszpan family from Hannover, whose son Herschel lived in Paris. When Herschel learned of his family's fate, he carried out an attack at the German embassy in Paris on November 7, 1938 in protest against the deportation, which resulted in the death of embassy secretary Ernst vom Rath. The National Socialists used this as a pretext for the subsequent November pogroms. After the November pogroms - the date Rosa names for her father's deportation - thousands of Jewish men were deported from Berlin to Sachsenhausen, but not to Poland. However, it is likely that Rosa is confusing the date of the 'Polenaktion'.

19 Eichmann, Adolf (1906-1962)

Nazi war criminal, one of the organizers of mass genocide of Jews. Since 1932 member of the Nazi party and SS, since 1934 an employee of the race and resettlement departments of the RSHA (Main Security Office of the Reich), after the "Anschluss" of Austria headed the Headquarters for the Emigration of Jews in Vienna, later organized the emigration of Jews in Czechoslovakia and, since 1939, in Berlin. Since December 1939 he was the head of the Departments for the Resettlement of Poles and Jews from lands incorporated into the Reich. Since mid-1941, as the Head of the Branch IV B 4 Gestapo RSHA, he coordinated the plan of the extermination of Jews, organized and carried out the deportations of millions of Jews to death camps. After the war he was imprisoned in an American camp, he managed to escape and hid in Germany, Italy and Argentina. In 1960 he was captured by the Israeli secret service in Buenos Aires. After a process which took several months, he was sentenced to death and executed. Eichmann's trial initiated a great discussion about the causes and the carrying out of the Shoah.

20 Anschluss

The German term "Anschluss" (literally: connection) refers to the inclusion of Austria in a "Greater Germany" in 1938. In February 1938, Austrian Chancellor Schuschnigg had been invited to visit Hitler at his mountain retreat at Berchtesgaden. A two-hour tirade against Schuschnigg and his government followed, ending with an ultimatum, which Schuschnigg signed. On his return to Vienna, Schuschnigg proved both courageous and foolhardy. He decided to reaffirm Austria's independence, and scheduled a plebiscite for Sunday, 13th March, to determine whether Austrians wanted a "free, independent, social, Christian and united Austria." Hitler' protégé, Seyss-Inquart, presented Schuschnigg with another ultimatum: Postpone the plebiscite or face a German invasion. On 11th March Schuschnigg gave in and canceled the plebiscite. On 12th March 1938 Hitler announced the annexation of Austria. When German troops crossed into Austria, they were welcomed with flowers and Nazi flags. Hitler arrived later that day to a rapturous reception in his hometown of Linz. Less well disposed Austrians soon learned what the "Anschluss" held in store for them. Known Socialists and Communists were stripped to the waist and flogged. Jews were forced to scrub streets and public latrines. Schuschnigg ended up in a concentration camp and was only freed in 1945 by American troops.

21 Ustasha Movement

Extreme-right Croatian separatist movement, founded by Ante Pavelic in Zagreb in 1929. In 1934 he issued the pamphlet Order, in which he openly called for the secession from the Yugoslav federal state and the creation of an independent Croatian state. After the assassination of the king of Yugoslavia on a state visit in Marseilles, France, the Ustasha movement was outlawed, and Pavelic and his colleague Eugen Kvaternik were arrested in Italy. After the occupation of Yugoslavia by the German, Hungarian, Italian and Bulgarian armies in April 1941 the Independent State of Croatia was proclaimed with German backing. The new state was nominally run by the Ustasha movement with Pavelic as head of state. He created a fascist regime repressing all opposition. Ethnic and religious minorities, especially Serbs and Jews, were ruthlessly persecuted. Serbs were massacred or forcibly converted to Catholicism. Under his rule 35,000 Jews were exterminated in local concentration camps.

22 Bergen-Belsen

Concentration camp located in northern Germany. Bergen-Belsen was established in April 1943 as a  detention camp for prisoners who were to be exchanged with Germans imprisoned in Allied countries. Bergen-Belsen was liberated by the British army on 15th April, 1945. The soldiers were shocked at what they found, including 60,000 prisoners in the camp, many on the brink of death, and thousands of unburied bodies lying about. (Source: Rozett R. - Spector S.: Encyclopedia of the Holocaust, Facts on File, G.G. The Jerusalem Publishing House Ltd. 2000, pg. 139 -141)

23 KuK (Kaiserlich und Königlich) army

The name 'Imperial and Royal' was used for the army of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy, as well as for other state institutions of the Monarchy originated from the dual political system. Following the Compromise of 1867, which established the Dual Monarchy, Austrian emperor and Hungarian King Franz Joseph was the head of the state and also commander-in-chief of the army. Hence the name 'Imperial and Royal'.

24 Italian front, 1915-1918

Also known as Isonzo front. Isonzo (Soca) is an alpine river today in Slovenia, which ran parallel with the pre-World War I Austro-Hungarian and Italian border. During World War I Italy was primarily interested in capturing the ethnic Italian parts of Austria-Hungary (Trieste, Fiume, Istria and some of the islands) as well as the Adriatic littoral. The Italian army tried to enter Austria-Hungary via the Isonzo Rriver, but the Austro-Hungarian army was dug in alongside the river. After 18 months of continuous fighting without any territorial gain, the Austro-Hungarian army finally succeeded to enter Italian territory in October 1917.

25 Hakoah

Max Nordau's call for the creation of a 'new Jew' and for 'muscular Judaism' at the second World Zionist Congress in 1898 that marked the beginning of a new awareness of physical culture among Jews, particularly in Europe. At the turn of the century, Jewish gymnastics clubs were established, both encouraging the Jewish youth to engage in physical exercise and serving as a framework for nationalistic activity. Beginning in 1906, broader-based sports clubs were also established. Most prominent in the interwar period were the Hakoah Club of Vienna and Hagibor Club of Prague, whose notable achievements in national and international track and field and swimming competitions aroused pride and a shared sense of identity among the European Jewry. The greatest of them all was the Hakoah soccer team, which won the Austrian championship in 1925. The best Jewish soccer players in Central Europe joined its ranks, bringing the team worldwide acclaim. Today Hakoah clubs exist all over the world and mainly represent the community as a social club. However, the original pursuit of soccer remains high on the list of the clubs' activities.

26 Curtis, Tony (born 1925)

born Bernhard Schwartz, American film actor of Hungarian-Jewish descent.

27 Haider, Jörg (born 1950)

Austrian politician, currently Governor of Carinthia. Haider was a long-time leader of the Austrian Freedom Party (FPÖ). When he stepped down as that party's chairman in 2000, he remained a major figure until 2005. In April 2005 he founded a new party, the "Alliance for the Future of Austria" (BZÖ-Bündnis Zukunft Österreich), and was subsequently expelled from the FPÖ by its interim leader Hilmar Kabas. (Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C3%B6rg_Haider)

Toman Brod

Toman Brod
Prague
Czech Republic
Interviewer: Lenka Koprivova
Date of interview: February – October 2005

Mr. Toman Brod lives with his wife in a cozy and very tastefully furnished apartment near the center of Prague. In his study, where the interviews took place, he has many books, for the most part historical literature, for Mr.

Brod is a historian. In his research, he has devoted himself primarily to the subject of Czechoslovak-Soviet relations, the Czechoslovak resistance movement in the West during the time of World War II, the Holocaust and World War II as a whole.

Recently he had a book published, which he himself considers to be his life’s work: ‘The Fatal Mistake of Edvard Benes 1939-1948: Czechoslovakia’s Road Into The Soviet Yoke.’

Mr. Brod is capable of talking about his life in a very interesting and captivating manner. Doing this interview with him was a great pleasure for me.

  • My family background

I never knew my grandparents on my father’s side. They died before I was born, and so everything I know about them, I know only from stories. My grandfather was named Alois Brod and was likely born in the first half of the 19th century. He lived in a village a little ways away from Caslav, it’s called Vrdy-Bucice, and there he had a mixed-goods store. It was definitely a large store, perhaps the largest in the vicinity.

You could buy anything there: textiles, shoes, tools, sweets, groceries. Behind the store there were also stables and also many fields belonged to it. My grandfather had a lot of employees. In fact, everything I know about him, I know from one of them, from Mrs. Anna Kopska, who later worked as a cook for my parents as well, and then after the war lived with me and took care of my daughter.

My grandfather probably wasn’t very religiously inclined, allegedly he used to have ham brought to him in the washroom, so that my grandmother wouldn’t see it, for she was more Orthodox. My grandfather had siblings; for sure I know that he had a brother, Josef, whose descendants are still alive today, some here, some in America.

Mrs. Kopska also used to tell me that my grandfather used to sit in front of the house, and on Sunday, when children would be on their way to church, he would give out sweets to them. And he used to say, ‘look, what a grimy child that is, if it washed itself, how beautiful it would be.’

My grandmother was named Marie, nee Friedlanderova. She probably also came from Bucice or somewhere around Caslav. She was a housewife and her faith was most likely stronger than my grandfather’s. She cooked kosher, didn’t eat pork, but whether she attended the synagogue, that I don’t know. She probably also had siblings, but I don’t know anything about them.

Both of them had German as their mother tongue; however, both of them spoke very good Czech with their employees. They had four or five children, later it was a very widely branched out family. I don’t remember all of them though, because afterwards my father didn’t associate with a number of them.

The sons were named Arnost, which was my father, Jindrich, he later lived in Pardubice and had a fountain pen factory, he often visited us, then Alfred, who was mentally ill and died in Bohnice. My father also had a sister, but he didn’t associate with her, I myself didn’t meet her until in Terezin 1. She was named Hermina.

My grandparents on my father’s side died sometime in the 1920s, before I was born. My father then took over their store, for some time he and my mother ran it, but then he sold it and they moved to Prague. After the war I went to Vrdy-Bucice to have a look around, and at that time that store was still there, in fact after the war you could still see the sign, Alois Brod, of course now it’s completely different.

My father was named Arnost Brod and was born on 28th November 1878 in Vrdy-Bucice. I think that his mother tongue was German, but he spoke Czech without any problems. Until the end of his life he wrote in kurent [also called black-letter script], that pointy German lettering, so even when he was writing a Czech letter, he had sharp edges, he didn’t draw arches, so from this I judge that he went to German schools, after all in those days that was normal.

For sure, he only had a high school education, he had no title. His religious inclinations were probably no great shakes. If they had been, he certainly would have led us in that direction, which though didn’t happen. He was never in the army, he didn’t even have to join up during World War I, and that was most likely because he was important for the war effort, because he worked in supply.

When my father moved to Prague, that was sometime in the second half of the 1920s, he became a grain wholesaler. He sold and bought wheat from farmers, and in Prague he sold it on the commodities exchange. From time to time, once a week, he went to Caslav on business, he had this big shopping bag and the farmers would bring him eggs, butter, various vegetables...

About my grandparents on my mother’s side, I don’t know much either. I never even knew my grandpa [Eduard Pick], he died before I was born, that was also sometime in the 1920s. My grandmother [Anna Pickova, nee Kernova] I faintly remember from my childhood, she died when I was three.

When I was small, I wasn’t very interested in them. And when I did start to become interested, there wasn’t anyone left who could tell me something about them. I know that my mother’s father was named Eduard Pick. He married Anna Pickova, born Kernova, and lived in Ledec nad Sazavou, where they had a sawmill. So they were industrialists, you could say. Probably they also spoke German.

They had several children: the sons Jindrich, Karel, Jiri, and the daughters Olga, that was my mother, Stefa and Anna. After their father’s death, the sons took over the sawmill and together continued in the lumber business; they did business in Prague and vicinity and their sawmill was, I think, in Satalice. To more easily integrate into Czech society, they changed their name, they became the Petrovskys. That was sometime after World War I.

The oldest brother was named Karel. He married a Christian woman; she was a bit of a clotheshorse. During the war he stayed in Prague, because he somehow managed to have himself declared a child born out of wedlock, via some fraud he got a different birth certificate, so he wasn’t considered a Jew, and after February 1948 2, he moved away to Brazil.

Jiri Petrovsky was born in the year 1897, so he was seven years younger than my mother. He had two wives; his first wife died, she was some Italian woman, and he probably met her when he was at the front in Italy during World War I. His second wife was named Anna and was born in 1907. From his first marriage he had a daughter, Vera, who was here during the war, she wasn’t considered to be Jewish, so survived the war and died afterwards in America, because she had leukemia. With Anna, his second wife, who was a Jewess, Jiri Petrovsky had a little boy, Ivosek [Ivo], who was born in 1935, and together they were transported to Lodz, where their trail ends in the fall of 1941.

Jindrich Petrovsky was born in the year 1891. His wife was named Ruzena and they had two children together, Eva and Mario. They were also a relatively rich family, they owned some buildings in Prague, later we even lived with them. Jindrich Petrovsky didn’t survive the war, the rest of his family did.

Anna Ungerova-Pickova married and then lived in Vienna. She had a son, Otto, who, after she died in the 1920s, returned to Prague. Him I remember very well, we saw each other often, for example, he used to come and visit us at our summerhouse. Later he was also in Terezin and Auschwitz. He survived, and after the war he married his Christian girlfriend. Otto was this kindly person; he had a personality very similar to my mother’s. He died in the year 1984.

Stefa Pickova was born in the year 1886 and was mentally handicapped. She died in the year 1944 in Riga.

  • Growing up

My mother was named Olga Brodova, nee Pickova. She was born on 29th January 1890 in Ledec nad Sazavou. Her mother tongue was also German I think, but she spoke Czech perfectly, her handwriting was also clear. When she spoke, the same as when she wrote letters, she crossed over fluently from one language to the other. Both languages were completely normal back then. Unfortunately, I don’t know much about my parents’ youth, I was born very late, and when I was a child, these things didn’t interest me.

I don’t know when and where my parents met, but their wedding was in July of 1912; they were married in Bucice, by a rabbi. My mother then also helped in the store. In the 1920s, they moved to Prague. We were by no means rich, but we did live in a nice building on the riverfront; I’d say that we were part of the well-situated middle class.

My parents waited a long time for children. They had already been together 15 years when my brother Hanus was born in 1927. At that time, they had already given up hope that they could have a family. My father also already wanted to retire, but when children came, he had to once again restart his business, to support the household.

I think that my mother managed to get pregnant when they were on vacation in Italy, that somehow the local climate favorably affected her. So my brother Hanus was born in 1927 and I was born two years after him, on 18th January 1929.

My father was a somewhat conservative type, who was of course glad that he had sons, because at his age he had no longer hoped that he would have any offspring. So he was very proud, he took care of us, gave us precise orders as to what we could do and what we couldn’t. He checked what time we were going to sleep, checked how we were bathing ourselves.

He was a person who, as long as he had the time, took very good care of his family. Unfortunately he had very little time; he was basically already an old person. When he died at the age of 60, everyone said that he had already been an old man, that his time had come.

Today that’s nonsense, 60-year-old people are fundamentally very active, but as I say, already when he was 50 he wanted to retire, and didn’t do so only because we were born. Well, so I have him in my memory as a person who of course tried to somehow play with us, but I think that at his age he didn’t understand children much any more.

My mother was a woman with a completely calm disposition, who was flustered by absolutely nothing. The children could romp about and yell and she would sit after dinner at the table and crack nuts. And the children could demolish the house, or more precisely the hallway, furniture, and it didn’t faze her. But, of course, our father was somewhat more nervous, hot-tempered.

When our parents argued, it was mainly in German, so that we couldn’t understand them. But eventually we understood them anyways. Our mother was very gentle, kind-hearted, I remember her as being a very gentle and kind-hearted woman.

As a teenager, I didn’t always act very nicely towards her, that’s of course also true, but later she showed herself to be, that’s already another history, as a very courageous woman. Even though she never worked, in those horrible conditions in Terezin that she had to experience, she showed herself to be a very adaptable woman; she worked as a nurse for mentally and physically handicapped children.

My mother was a very passionate card player. She had lots of lady friends, who just like her, played bridge. It was this social circle, that came to visit her, or she would go with them to coffee houses, because they mainly played in coffee houses.

This society of women met at our place for various tea parties, afternoons, various women’s matters were discussed. Some of these ladies spoke Czech, some German and they would fluidly switch from one language to the other.

With some of these lady friends of hers, who had children, we used to go to our summerhouse, as summer holidays were then called. It’s interesting that they were all assimilated Jewish families. Really, our family friends were again only Jews.

We didn’t associate much with our mother’s siblings and their families. Yes, we knew about each other, but they were more these bigwigs, they moved about in different social circles. They owned buildings, were members of auto clubs, rode horses... In contrast to this, my father’s brother Jindrich visited us often.

His wife Berta was also Jewish, they adopted a child together. My uncle had a fountain pen factory in Pardubice; however, it didn’t do very well, and so he would always come to borrow money from my father. He was a very kind-hearted person, whom we always respected and loved. He was younger than our father, and so he also acted differently toward us.

When our father died, we lived close to each other in the Old Town, we would regularly go for Sunday walks with him, he would show us Prague’s sights. Uncle Jindrich died along with Aunt Berta in Auschwitz, but their daughter perhaps wasn’t even in a concentration camp, and later immigrated to Australia.

My brother Hanus was two years younger than me. For sure he had a better disposition, for I was a terrible, annoying child. I was a poor loser, even today, when I lose at chess, it bothers me, but if in those days I for example lost in some children’s sport competition, I was really a very unpleasant child. While he was prudent, would try to calm me down in various possible ways, that it’s only a game, and so after a time the anger would leave me.

Hanus, I think, was that contemplative, scientific type. Here I have one of his books of composition exercises that he wrote when he was 15 years old. They’re these philosophical, essay-like ponderings. Even back then one could see that he was a contemplative person, that he was interested in the future.

For example, here he writes: ‘About my life I would just like to write that I was born...other details are unfortunately unknown to me, I don’t know when and where I will die, what sorts of interesting incidents I will yet live to experience. Hanus didn’t live to experience many more interesting incidents.

I would suggest, that I be given this task again after a certain number of years, then I will be able to write more, having behind me a larger part of my life and with that also a larger number of interesting experiences.’ Already as a boy, he was interested in politics and political-historical things;

I think that in this respect he was quite serious for his age, and also in this respect stood quite above other boys with his interests and his knowledge. Then, during the war, when he was 16, 17, he was perhaps part of some Communist cell in Terezin.

Otherwise, I think that my brother and I were this normal pair. Sometimes we fought like cats and dogs, like all siblings sometimes fight or egg each other on. But we of course also played ping-pong together, soccer, went swimming in the summer, skated; I really do think that we were a normal pair.

We neither loved each other a lot, nor did we hate each other. Well, of course in childhood it’s a different relationship than in adulthood, so maybe that relationship would have changed. Back then I was jealous of Hanus, he was older, stronger, so I tried to keep up with him. We had mutual friends and so on.

Our family was largely assimilated. We practically didn’t know anything about any Judaism. Though I was circumcised from childhood, that’s about all. I never visited a synagogue during the entire time of the First [Czechoslovak] Republic 3, I first found out about Judaism in 1938, when various anti-Jewish measures [see Anti-Jewish laws in the Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia] 4 began, and when there already was a difference between Christians and Jews.

Perhaps because of their experiences with the Hilsner Trial 5, they told us: you should identify yourselves as Czechs, that will give you a certain amount of protection, but a Jew will always have problems. Probably because of that. I don’t know, I never talked about it with them; I didn’t have time, because they all died before I was old enough.

An inseparable part of our family was certainly also Anna Kopska, our cook. Anci [Anna] was born in 1892 in Vrdy-Bucice, and when she was 17 she started working for my grandfather. Then she also worked for my parents, and after the war she took care of me and my family.

During the time of the First Republic it worked that way, that every middle-class family, like ours was, had a governess and cook. We got especially lucky with our Anci. Not only because of her being an excellent cook, but also because of her immense devotion and good-heartedness that helped us very much during the war.

Mrs. Kopska was a widow. Her marriage is a mystery, apparently she had been married for only a short time. Her husband was some coachman and died of tuberculosis. Anci never talked about it. But she had a son, Pepek, who she had when she was around 18, certainly still during the time of Austria [the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy].

When he died in the middle of the 1960s, he was something over 50. I don’t know where he grew up, the first time I saw him was when he returned from the war as a grown man. One morning a stranger came over, I was home at the time, and suddenly I hear Mrs. Kopska greeting him.

Pepek then married, had a child and lived with his family in Zleby u Caslavy, where they built a house. Mrs. Kopska probably helped him out with it a lot financially, because she wasn’t too happy that Pepek divorced a few years later, left the house to his wife and moved to Prague. But I remember the house in Zleby very well to this day; we used to go there during summer vacations, and that’s where we were when we heard that my father had died.

A few years ago I went to Zleby to have a look, and I even met up with Pepek’s ex-wife. Back then she had been a young, beautiful woman, now this old, hunched-over lady came out. Our meeting years later was interesting. Pepek worked in some factory in Prague, and when we left for Terezin, he and his mother took care of our apartment.

Of the things that Anci cooked for us, I’ll for example never forget her blueberry dumplings. No one makes those any more these days. They were large dumplings, most likely from cottage cheese dough, and they had a very thin shell; it was an art to make them so that the shell didn’t tear.

Another delicacy for me was her sauerbraten, also absolutely unrivalled. And her plaited Christmas cake, that probably doesn’t even exist any more today. Maybe it wasn’t only her recipe, but in general nothing made now can equal the Christmas cakes that were made before the war. They had an indescribable taste and indescribable aroma. When you broke them in half, the dough formed these little needles. And they were full of raisins and almonds and all kinds of goodies. So that was an amazing thing.

Tomato sauce! At our house we had tomato sauce with rice, but Kaja Marik, my childhood hero, ate tomato sauce with dumplings, so I asked Anci to also make it for me with dumplings. Her bread dumplings were absolutely superb. What I on the other hand didn’t eat much of was cream of wheat.

That I only started to like when I was in Terezin, understandably so, but after the war I didn’t like it again. And so my granddaughter, who as opposed to me likes it very much, pesters me at breakfast time to eat porridge with her. I also didn’t eat fish, I didn’t like those bones in them; for example at Christmas I would always have a schnitzel instead.

Mrs. Kopska made excellent schnitzels. Of course, we didn’t eat meat every day; we also cooked ordinary foods, like for example spinach with eggs and potatoes, semlbaba. Potato salad! That’s again something that no one can manage to make any more, she made it with her own homemade mayonnaise, and salami or ham was also put into it. And more things, all goodies. I liked hanging around the kitchen when Anci was cooking, and I always managed to get a taste of something. Like that sweet dough that you could scoop up with your finger and eat raw...The delicious marble cakes that Anci made!

I was a nervous child, so in the morning before going to school I didn’t eat much, I’d perhaps only drink some white coffee or some tea. I got a mid-morning snack to take with me to school, which I didn’t eat until around 10am, when my stomach began working. So our family for sure didn’t eat breakfast all together, after all, my mother was mostly still asleep when we left for school. But we ate dinner together, my father if he was home, my mother always.

And that was already a certain ritual. We ate in the dining room, which was festively set, Mrs. Kopska served us... But Mrs. Kopska or the governess, didn’t eat with us, they ate in the kitchen. It was this certain detachment that was observed, it was further expressed for example by my mother and father addressing Mrs. Kopska as Anna, while she addressed them as Milady and Sir. They addressed each other formally. We addressed Anci informally and for us she was Anci.

My father was practically never at home, so my mother was the head of the household. My mother never cooked, that wasn’t proper for a well-to-do woman, though she did go do the shopping. She took care of the shopping, and it wasn’t any problem. She didn’t carry any bags, she only picked out things in the store, paid, and they then delivered it to our apartment. In fact, we had a delicatessen right in our building where you could go shopping. My mother also took care of the finances, she kept the books.

The Prague of my childhood was an idyllic city. Though back then there were already cars in Prague, but what was that, a couple of cars here and there. In my time, there were still horses! I remember brewers’ horses, coal merchants’ horses, postal horses.

Prague was really this village, where you could normally walk down the street and crossing it was no problem, though even back then people said that it was congested, but if they would have seen what it looks like today...We lived on Palacky Nabrezi, that’s between the Palacky and Jirasek bridges, today the Dancing House is on that stretch of riverfront.

We had a beautiful five-room apartment on the second floor of this burgher’s house from the late 19th century, which stands there to this day. Our apartment had a children’s room, then on the right side was a kitchen, on the left our parents’ bedroom, then a dining room, a so-called gentlemen’s room, used for receiving guests, and the last room was an office, used by my father to conduct his business affairs.

Our apartment had a beautiful balcony with a view out on the Vltava River and Hradcany [the Prague Castle]. Basically, it was a beautiful, pleasant, gracious apartment, and also very well furnished for the times. Not luxuriously, but nevertheless very well, comfortably.

My brother and I shared a room. Here we each had our own bed; our nanny slept in the room next to us. Here we used to play, had our toys, read...Otherwise we didn’t walk about the apartment all that much. Into the dining room, to the bathroom, yes, of course, into the gentlemen’s room only if there was company over, but otherwise we stayed in our room, where it was warm and where we had our world.

When I had the time, and time I used up quite a bit of, I would stand at the window and watch life on the Vltava River. There were still rafts on the river then, but already also steamboats. From where I was I could see two harbors, one was right under our windows, the second by the Jirasek Bridge. And one of my childhood amusements was to watch the steamships, I always hoped that an arriving steamboat would drop anchor at my harbor.

In the winter the Vltava would freeze over, there was a skating oval on it and we used to go skating there, we would also go for walks on it, for example we would take our sleds all the way to Vysehrad. Well, and then of course there was snow, in the winter Prague was full of snow. Prague was covered by snow each winter, and it was real snow, not mud, like it is today. So that was also a certain romance, a certain idyll.

Otherwise, Prague, fairs, well, that was a huge thing in those days, back then there were still those Czech fairs. Prague had more of them, but for me there were two main ones. They were held on Karlovo Namesti [Charles Square] twice a year, a Christmas fair and a St. Joseph’s fair. There were various attractions, merry-go-rounds and magicians and a half-man, half-woman, animals, some monkeys, a shooting range and of course all sorts of goodies, especially that what we weren’t allowed at home.

For example, we weren’t allowed to eat speck sausages. If our father had seen us eating them, he would have had a stroke. But that was our greatest delicacy, to buy a sausage there for 50 halers. We did get some allowance, always when some acquaintance would come to visit, mainly Uncle Jindrich to come borrow money from our father, so when he would get it, he would give us a crown or two. In those days a crown was a huge amount of money, back then 5 halers would get you a gummy snake that you could chew, some candy for 10 halers, and for 50 halers those sausages.

We didn’t even know what to do with a whole crown, what to spend it all on. Or the cotton candy, disgusting, all those were our delicacies. All around the park on Karlovo Namesti stood booths with attractions, and the mood was amazing, there was music playing everywhere, there were candles and the scent of frankincense...

I also loved roasted chestnuts, there were always old ladies standing outside with these locomobiles, round ovens with a smoking chimney, inside of which there were chestnuts roasting on a spit, and the old ladies sold them for a crown a bag. Now I buy chestnuts perhaps only when I go to Vienna; there they probably still have those old recipes, otherwise not.

And I also liked whipped cream and ice cream, that I could eat for breakfast, lunch and supper. But we weren’t allowed to just go to any stand, our father first had to approve some confectioner and then we could shop there. Ice cream cost 50 halers a cone.

We loved fruit, melons, mandarin oranges, oranges, bananas; back then you could of course get all that. But we weren’t some sort of free-spending family. Yes, we were well off, there was certainly no lack of money, but we didn’t throw it around. When we got 50 halers to go to the fair, we were happy.

Our governess definitely had to account for each crown that she spent on us. Back then money was scarce, so we respected it; after all, we hardly ever got our hands on it. Everything that we needed was bought for us, so perhaps only when our uncle came to visit would we get a crown or two, but otherwise not.

I was a passionate collector of toy soldiers, back then these plaster soldiers were popular; I had a whole army of them. One cost about two or three crowns in the toy store, so when I saved, earned a crown here or there, I could go to the toy store and buy a soldier. Soldiers were also the best present that I could possibly get.

As was the custom in those days, our family also had a nanny. Back then the way it worked was that the children were given to the nanny to take care of, and she made sure they behaved, walked them to school and from school, went with them to the playground and for walks. We had several nannies, not all of them stuck it out with us, and neither did we stick it out with all of them. They were all Christian girls. We used to call them Miss, so I don’t even know their names any more. The first left because she got married.

Then we had this robust lady, Krajcova she was named, she was very sports-oriented. She also left, our parents weren’t happy with her. And then we had one, by then we were already bigger boys, around nine or ten, and she was German. She tried to teach us German, which we of course refused, because German was the language of our enemy.

We were ashamed of it when she spoke German to us, we forbade her to talk to us in German in front of our friends. I think that this nanny left when [the] Munich [Pact] 6 happened. With our nannies we went for walks, to the theater, played various games...Basically we got along, mainly when they didn’t speak German to us in front of our friends. We had about five nannies, but these services ended in 1939, after our father died. There wasn’t money for it any more, our mother kept a smaller household, so we said goodbye to that beautiful apartment.

Anci Kopska also took very good care of us. Not only would she cook or bake what we wanted, but for example I could go and knock on her door and say: ‘Listen, I’d like, if you’d be so kind, for you to read me a bit from Bozena Nemcova 7.’ So Anci would come, when she had the time, and read it to me. Whether she read for herself when she had time off, I don’t know. I actually remember almost nothing of what she did in her spare time. I used to go to the kitchen only for food; otherwise I was in our children’s room. She knitted, yes, a lot of that, maybe she occasionally went to see a movie, but otherwise I don’t know.

  • School years

Our school was on Pstrossova Street, in a building where in 1890 Eliska Krasnohorska’s Minerva had been founded, the first Czech high school where girls could study. In our time though, it was a boys’ school. This is because in those days children were educated separately; schools weren’t co-ed like they are now. And also in other ways school in those days was completely different from how it is now.

In the first place, it was ruled by an absolutely natural and observed authority and discipline: there was such order that today’s children would scarcely be able to imagine it. My impression is that today’s teachers are more tamers than educators. Back then, whatever the teacher said, was law. Mr. Teacher said this, so I have to do it like this.

Of course in those days there already were also women teachers. But I think that they were all single, that they weren’t allowed to be married. Basically they weren’t supposed to have other responsibilities, so that their own children wouldn’t take time away from teaching.

In school I liked for example drawing or composition. I think that I liked school as such. It was a duty that I understood in some way. Of course that I was glad when I didn’t sometimes have to go, like every child is glad, but that it was some sort of shock for me to go to school, that certainly can’t be said.

On the contrary, at the end of summer holidays we looked forward to returning to it, that again there would be boys that we played with the previous year, that maybe some new ones will arrive... The teachers addressed us by our last names.

As soon as I arrived at school in the first grade, I was Brod, and when the teacher called someone by his first name, that was an honor. He was the teacher’s pet, he might then be addressed familiarly with a diminutive, but otherwise it didn’t exist... And we of course envied him that.

Though we liked school, we also liked being ill. For one because we didn’t have to go to school, but also because our mother, governess and Anci took very good care of us.

I remember there being some sort of difference between boys that were better and worse off, I do, however it wasn’t in that we wouldn’t be friends, that we wouldn’t play soccer together, but when someone had a birthday, we always got together more with others from that middle class, as it were.

So a certain class aspect did exist. On the other hand, our teacher said to us: ‘look here, we’ve got some poor children here, so maybe, if you can, at Christmastime bring some clothing or shoes that you don’t need, some toys that you don’t need, and we’ll give it to the poorer children.’

Or I also know, that when the father of some boy left for Spain to fight for the Spanish Republic [see Spanish Civil War] 8, the teacher said: ‘this boy here has no father, so if you’re from those so-called better families, invite him over once a week for dinner.’ So I know that one boy used to come over to our place sometimes for dinner. Like I said, if he knew how to play soccer, he was our friend, and no one cared if he was rich or poor.

And of course, it’s true that we were big on sports, we were soccer fans, at least my brother and I were. We also actively played soccer, but with more enthusiasm than skill, we were fans of Sparta 9 and Slavia 10, we followed their performance, and that was something, when during the World Championship in 1934 in Italy, our soccer players reached the finals.

[Editor’s note: the year 1934 brought great success to Czechoslovak soccer at the World Championship in Italy, although the Czechoslovak Republic lost 2:1 to the home team in the finale.] They lost, but it wasn’t all fair. Then they got a hero’s welcome in Prague: they arrived in an open coach and everyone covered them in flowers; I was there too.

Soccer players of those times weren’t gladiators, millionaire slaves, that let themselves be sold back and forth for millions; they were people that really played for prestige and with enthusiasm, for the love of it. With patriotism. For them it was a real point of pride to represent Czechoslovakia in the international arena. In those days patriotism wasn’t a cliche, it was a real, deep feeling.

I was a Sparta fan, Hanus a Slavia fan. In fact, before he died, our father bought my brother a Slavia and me a Sparta sweater. I knew the entire Sparta team roster, I had it hanging above my bed, and always on Monday our teacher, Mr. Pokorny, he was this older man with glasses, would come up to me and say: ‘Brod, how did you end up on Sunday?’ So I reported: ‘Mr. Teacher, sir, we won.’ I would say we. ‘So you won? That’s amazing news.’ And so then I would describe to him how it was that we won.

We also read a lot. My brother and I used to fight over books. It goes without saying that we read books by Karl May, Robinson [Crusoe], Tarzan, Kaja Marik, all the books by Foglar... we devoured books. And we fought as to who would get to read a book first. We got books on birthdays and Christmas, it’s not like today, when as soon as a child wants something, it gets it immediately.

In those days gifts were bought only at Christmas and for birthdays. Later we could also buy them with money we had made. My mother also read a lot. Our father, as I said, wasn’t at home much, and when he did come home, I was maybe already asleep. Children didn’t go to bed as late as today, at 11pm. At 8, that was it, bedtime. Our mother also used to give us the newspaper to read.

In the summer we used to go to a summer house. If I remember correctly, in the beginning it was only around Prague, when I was a small child we used to for example go to Revnice. The first bigger holiday event was Doksy, Mach Lake, then for a few years it was Libverda, that’s near Liberec, where we went for about three years, but because it was in the border region, where it wasn’t all that pleasant to be in the 1930s, we spent our last summer vacation, in 1938, at Mala Skala near Turnov.

We would always go there for two months, the two of us, our mother, the cook, and the nanny. Our father had work, so he wasn’t there regularly, he would come when he had the time, and then would again leave for Prague. Besides us there were also other families there, some three, four would always be there. They were Jews.

Some of them were our relatives; some were more distant relatives with whom my mother was in closer contact than with her own. They were women that played bridge with her, and who had children, so we spent our summer vacation with them, we knew them from childhood. We spent beautiful, calm, secure times together.

I think that about three times a year, for Christmas, during spring break and at Easter, we used to go to the mountains. Our father would say: ‘you’re pale, you’re city children, at least once in a while you have to have mountain air, you have to go skiing.’ So we would go to the mountains. To Spindleruv Mlyn, and to Harrachov, always to the same hotel, to this day it still stands there.

Well, as a skier I was no great shakes, but it was fun. We skied downhill, uphill you had to walk, back then there were no ski lifts yet, and those hills were more these pastures, not ski runs, those I didn’t have the courage for. You went, stopped against some fence, and walked uphill again. Other than this we hardly did any traveling around the country, nor to other countries. At school we used to go on these day-trips...

You know, we were raised as Czechoslovak patriots. It was a time of that fresh republican patriotism, the Republic was new and we were immeasurably proud that we had our president, Masaryk 11, that he was a person respected and liked world-wide and we used to sing a song about him:

Old father of ours,
you’ve got gray hairs,
while we’ve got your head,
we know we’ll be well led.

It’s some traditional folk song, but we of course referred to the President with it. Our principal was a former Legionnaire. He would always lead us down to the gym and there he would project slides for us, photos from the Legion, the life of the Legionnaires in wagons, in Siberia, and bear cubs that they used to bring for the President.

Every 28th October we would celebrate, at school there would be a big celebration, then we would go to the Emauzy Church, where there used to be, and now again has been renewed, Maratek’s memorial to fallen Prague Legionnaires. [Editor’s note: on 28th October 1918 Czechoslovakia gained independence from Austria-Hungary.]

I don’t know if there was some sort of speech, but in any case the entire school would gather there and celebrate the holiday. 7th March was also a big holiday: the birthday of President Masaryk. All of Prague was decorated, flags were hung out, every store had a picture of the president, everything was absolutely natural and absolutely spontaneous, everyone admired Masaryk and everyone was glad that that’s the way it was.

Nothing was decreed. Of course, it was mainly Czechs who were enthusiastic about the Republic; for other nationalities it wasn’t all that great, but we, the Czechs, were proud of the fact that we had a republic and that we had our president.

In 1937 President Masaryk died. I saw his funeral, our father got us a place in the windows of the Dunaj Palace, that’s on Narodni Trida [National Avenue], and from there we watched the procession that wound its way through Prague’s streets, I don’t remember details, but I do remember the overall feeling.

So that was the time of the First Republic. We thought that it was an absolutely secure, reliable existence, of course in the 1930s there were already reports getting through, of war in Abyssinia, war in Spain. It reached us children, we already read the papers and were interested in these events, so we did feel that there existed some sort of danger, but otherwise our childhood wasn’t affected by it.

We kept on playing soccer, kept on playing cops and robbers, just with the awareness that there were some clouds gathering on the horizon. For me it was even worse, in that the clouds were also gathering above our family, by coincidence our father died on 28th October 1938, and on 30th October the Munich Pact was signed. So for me the state and family catastrophes were really one and the same. Thus ended my carefree childhood.

We started to notice that the situation was thickening. In the middle of October 1938, Jiri Pick and I, Toman Brod, two Jewish boys, took up a collection for the defense of the state at school, not in Pstrossova Street, which had been closed, but in Stepanska Street, and collected over 200 crowns, which in those days was a huge sum.

We gave it to our teacher and our teacher was very moved by our initiative, which was of course useless, but it was a show of patriotism, we really felt that we lived with this republic, and that its end would be a catastrophe.

  • During the war

In the fall of 1938 our father was in the hospital for about a month. Already before that he had been ill; he used to visit the spas for treatment. His condition got worse though, and he had to be operated on, I guess it was because of his prostate or something like that. However he didn’t cooperate with the doctors very much, and I think that this is why he died.

He was afraid of life, afraid of Hitler. He was buried in the Jewish cemetery on 28th October. Neither my brother nor I took part in the funeral, at that time we were outside of Prague, in Zleby. Shortly after our father his brother Alois also died, it was also in the fall of 1938.

After his death we had to move out of the apartment on the riverfront, not because we were thrown out, but simply because there wasn’t the money to keep such a large apartment. We moved into an apartment that was on Veletrzni Street. It became available because its former owners, German Jews, had committed suicide after [the] Munich [Pact], they jumped out of a window.

Our cook came with us, but we no longer had the nanny. I started attending school in Holesovice, it was a Czech school. Once again we would go to Letna to play. Back then Letna was still this Wild West, it wasn’t that beautiful plain it is today, neither the park nor Stalin’s monument were there yet, just wilderness, where we played Cowboys and Indians and soccer.

Before the war I practically never met up with anti-Semitism. During my whole time at school I never heard the word Jew, or some anti-Semitic comment. We were Czech boys and we played soccer together, fought together, and I don’t know what else.

We went on outings together, and if someone was a Jew, that wasn’t important then. Of course, others have different experiences, but up until the war, I really didn’t meet up with any anti-Semitism. Actually, once I did, but it was a trifle: in our building, still on Palacky Nabrezi, lived this Member of Parliament, a National Democrat, named Branzovsky, a lawyer, who tended towards the extreme right.

Once he wrote ‘Jews out’ or something like that on our door. I didn’t understand it, I figured that some kid had scrawled some stupidity, but my father was very agitated by it. Of course no one knows if it was really he that wrote it, but they suspected him. After that Branzovsky was involved in the National Unity party.

[Editor’s note: The political party National Unity (NS) was founded in 1934 with the credo ‘Foreigners unwanted, our own protected’.]

Back then, at the end of the 1930s, that was probably the first display of anti-Semitism, which though wasn’t directed at me, but at my father, our whole family. During the war, that was a different situation, even after Munich it was different, we could already see that something was up, that the annexation of the Sudetenland 12 was no joke, even though as children we understood it only superficially. But I can only talk about anti-Semitism in official displays, among children there was absolutely nothing like that.

The apartment on Veletrzni Street was still under our name, but we weren’t there long, Uncle Jindrich Petrovsky convinced us to move into ‘his’ building on today’s Obranci Miru Street. But a few months later the Germans threw us out of there. The thing was, that at that time the Germans were going around and looking at Jewish apartments, and an apartment that they liked, they confiscated.

So I remember that one day some German lady in a fur coat came to our place, started to look it over, and was saying, ‘ja, schön, schön, schön’, that meant that she liked it, and so we had to abandon it and move to the Old Town, where Jews from Prague that had had to leave their apartments were concentrated.

We lived in an apartment together with two other families. But because our cook was a Christian, she rented a two-room apartment under her name on Masna Street, and we actually lived there with her. We would only go to Kozi Street in the Old Town to sleep.

The whole building on Masna Street knew that there was a Jewish family there, but no one ratted on us. Likely it was a peculiarity, maybe not really a peculiarity, but for sure it wasn’t common, but that’s the way it was.

Because the anti-Jewish measures were increasing, and we, the children, could for example no longer go play at a normal playground, our playground became the old Jewish cemetery. It was open, there were benches, old people would sit there and children would run about among the tombstones. We played various games, made first contacts with the opposite sex; at that time we were 13.

I had actually already begun to be interested in girls earlier, but it was this pure and innocent thing, it was a certain co-education, a certain new experience. So-called first loves were born, which didn’t last long, a few months at most, up until the spring of 1942.

While we still could, we tried to go out on trips somewhere. In the summer of 1940 we found out that somewhere in Jablonna nad Orlici some man was accepting Jewish children and youths, but also Christian children and youths, for stays at a summer house. He was the owner of this one old factory, which he provided for this purpose.

Of course, it was a secret, because at that time Jews were already not allowed to go to any communal camps, but he risked it and thanks to him we spent two nice months in the company of other young people. We went on walks, played some games, I think that we still didn’t know much about the war.

The war was far off, there was no bombing, and though food was rationed via coupons, we didn’t go hungry. In the beginning I was homesick, it was the first time that I had been away from my mother for that long, but in two or three days I got used to it and then I liked it there very much. Well, that was Jablonna, my last summer holidays.

Anti-Jewish measures became worse and worse. At first we weren’t allowed to go to restaurants, to the theater, to the cinema, shopping hours were limited, we weren’t allowed to own radios, telephones, jewelry was confiscated, we weren’t allowed out after 8pm, we weren’t allowed to go to the town square, to the park, to the Vltava river, we weren’t allowed to buy various goods…Of course this I already felt…

In the summer of 1940 they threw me out of school [see Exclusion of Jews from schools in the Protectorate] 13, after that I was only allowed to associate with Jewish boys and girls. This sort of ghetto was created, which didn’t allow us out, not many people wanted or were even allowed to associate with us. When some Christians came over for a visit, it was a secret. They didn’t want to take the risk and we didn’t want to endanger them.

When we could no longer attend public schools with non-Jewish children, home study started to be organized, that is, as far as Jews still had some sort of home. Jewish teachers privately taught us certain subjects. There were about eight, ten children in our group, boys and girls together. I don’t recall that we knew each other from before; we simply got to know each other and were friends.

For about a half, three quarters of a year we attended these groups, then in 1942 transports began leaving and so a Jewish school on Jachymova Street became free, that’s where today the Terezin Initiative 14 has its offices. I then attended this school for about two months in the spring of 1942. We were normally taught that what we were supposed to be learning at that age. It wasn’t until here that I started attending Jewish religion classes.

While it was still possible, we rode bikes, we had this group of about ten young Jewish people, and would go for example on trips to Roztoky or to Zbraslav, to Stechovice. The youth tried to make use of their free time somehow, and to spend it together. But this was only while stars [see Yellow star – Jewish star in Protectorate] 15 weren’t worn, after that it was bad.

When we had to start wearing a star, it was a real shock for me. Because everything, all those other measures didn’t really affect me that much. I went to the cinema anyways. Though there was a sign saying ‘Juden nicht zuganglich’ [Jews not allowed], it didn’t bother me, no one noticed me, so I kept on going. I didn’t go to the theater, that’s true.

After eight in the evening, for example when it was summer and it was nice out, I didn’t pay much attention to it, I still went out with the guys. But when the star started to be worn, that was when I first realized that I’m something that doesn’t belong in society, and that made me weep. Though it was basically foolishness, despite this, this measure affected me most of all.

At that time my mother took me to the dentist, I needed to have my teeth fixed, and told him about how I had reacted to this event; that was in September of 1941. He was this young doctor, and he said to me: ‘boy, you know, I think that we’re going to have much worse and more serious reasons for weeping, than this one.’

So I tried to cover my star up somehow, put a school bag over it or something, it was really horrible for me to walk around with it. Of course that this covering up was punishable, there were rats that watched out for it. Many anti-Semitic magazines were being put out, published by Czechs, one of them was called Aryan Struggle. In it was written, for example, that the Jew Winternitz was hiding his star, or that the Jewess Rudi Roubickova had been seen out after 8pm, talking to a white Jew, white Jew was a designation for Semitophiles, Christians that associated with Jews. Aryan Struggle was this denunciatory rag that was very dangerous, could bring a person denouncement, punishment, jail, even a concentration camp. Even Jews used to buy it a lot, of course while they still didn’t have to wear a star, even I bought it, it amused us in a masochistic sort of way. We kids would then draw Jewish caricatures according to it, Roosevelt, Roosevelt was Rosenfeld and that was a Jew, and Churchill was also a Jew, and Stalin was also a Jew, everyone was a Jew. Masaryk was of course a Jew. Really, we made fun of it more than anything else.

But the situation kept getting worse. It was no longer permitted to go outside of Prague; a Jew wasn’t allowed to leave his area of residence. It was forbidden to ride the train, ride in the streetcar or maybe just in the last wagons, later not at all.

The limitations kept getting worse and worse, but it was still life, when a person could lie down in his own bed, perhaps eat in a decent environment, and still have decent food. In Terezin it was something else again, though even that Terezin wasn’t the worst. Horror has its dimensions.

When I give a talk somewhere, I say that when someone lived in London or New York during the war, and imagined that he was in occupied Prague, he was horrified how it could be possible to live under such a Hitlerite dictatorship. And when someone lived in Prague, he was happy, that he could live in Prague and did all sorts of things so he wouldn’t have to go to Terezin.

And Terezin, that was another stage, another dimension of horror. And understandably Terezin, when we got to Auschwitz, we saw that it hadn’t been any horror, that there in that extermination camp was the real horror, and then on and on. Horror is a relative concept, it can descend into great depths, to great lows, before reaching its bottom, and then it can no longer be graded.

Some of our friends emigrated while there was till time, but no one in our family left the country. All of the Petrovsky brothers stayed here, because they had property here, they couldn’t take their buildings and factories and their farms on their backs. They said to themselves: ‘We’ll survive it.

After all, we’re not going to abandon our real estate that we have here, our sawmill, while it doesn’t belong to us any more, we still have to watch over it somehow.’ Karel, who had the Christian wife, collaborated with the Germans in some fashion, or perhaps she collaborated, so they were protected in some way, and thus stayed here. The others stayed as well, right up until the bitter end, when there was no longer any escaping.

That’s this Jewish characteristic, no one imagined that the worst would happen. We’ll live through it somehow. We can’t go to coffee shops, so we’ll play cards at home. We’re not allowed to attend the theater, that we’ll survive. After 8pm we’re not allowed to go out, so we won’t go anywhere. It still wasn’t dangerous.

What the Germans were doing, it was this tactic of whittling down. They didn’t say it all at once, so people got used to it. It was this mentality, though we’re oppressed, second-rate, it’s still livable. If they don’t allow us to shop in stores, we’ve still got some money, so we’ll buy on the black market. You could still get food.

There were Christians that helped us, of course: our cook, she also had her connections, and then there were friends from when we were still in that house on the riverside… This one Christian woman used to come over, Miss Janska. We always looked forward to her coming over, not only because of the news she would bring us, but also because to celebrate her visit.

Mrs. Kopska would always prepare open-faced sandwiches and excellent potato salad. So it was always this pleasant get-together.

Miss Janska listened to the radio, had connections with the underground, brought us secret magazines, especially Boj. Each time we threw ourselves at her and wanted to know what London was saying, we were waiting and waiting that the war would be over. In 1940 we were waiting, thinking that it couldn’t last long.

We very much believed that ‘dependable news one lady was saying,’ in Terezin it was called Latrinengeschichte [empty rumor]. And so it was until the end of the war: we were constantly waiting, thinking that it can’t last long.

Like the writer Milan Kundera says in his novel The Joke: ‘optimism is the opiate of the masses.’ But it worked precisely like that. Imagine that they would have told the Jews, that it’s going to last six years and that they’ll go somewhere to the East to extermination camps. Many would have committed suicide. Even so there were a lot of suicides during those times.

In May 1942 Heydrich was assassinated [see Heydrichiade] 16. Martial law 17 was proclaimed, but we still didn’t take it seriously. That day our mother left to go sleep in Kozi Street, but it was crowded, infested, dirty, that many people couldn’t maintain any hygiene, and so we two boys stayed that night as well, after martial law was proclaimed, in the apartment on Masna Street. The Hitlerites however were conducting inspections of all buildings, to see if there wasn’t someone unregistered there; they were combing through Prague, looking for the assassins.

Can you imagine what would have happened had they come there? We would have all been dead; they would have shot all of us as illegal and unauthorized inhabitants. Our mother wasn’t with us at that time, and of course found out from friends what was happening during the night, that SS and police patrols were going about, so she couldn’t sleep.

She couldn’t even go out at night, since there was martial law. So it wasn’t until 6am that she arrived, all terrified, to see if we were all right. We didn’t know about a thing, and luckily were all right, the German controls hadn’t come here. These are coincidences… the coincidence was that we were saved. And coincidences played a big role in my life later on.

The first of our relatives to be deported were my uncles Jindrich and Jiri Petrovsky with their families: already in 1941 they went with all their children to Lodz [ghetto] 18. My family, my mother, brother and I, went to Terezin on 27th July 1942. We packed our bags and along with them we were gathered at the so-called New Exhibition Grounds, where otherwise they exhibited tractors or something like that during trade shows.

Now people were gathered here before transport. We stayed there for about three days, it was pretty sad, we slept on only some mats. Then, in the morning, they led us off to the railway station in Bubny, from where we left, still in normal passenger rail cars, watched over by policemen, not for Terezin but for Bohusovice, because at that time there wasn’t yet a rail spur to the ghetto.

Our transport was named Aau and contained about a thousand people, under eight percent survived [to the end of the war]. From Bohusovice we had to walk about three kilometers, carrying our luggage, which though they soon confiscated and we never saw it again. I found myself in Terezin.

All ties were formed anew here. People lived in various barracks, in different buildings, different lodgings, it was necessary to make new contacts. Uncle Jindrich Brod from Pardubice, who arrived there around the same time we did, worked as a cook there. In fact, when he could, he always gave us something extra with our food.

My mother lived in the Hamburg barracks, I lived in school L417, and my brother lived in a different boys’ home. Even though she had never held a job in her life, my mother adapted quite well to the conditions there. She was a very courageous woman, who didn’t fall into any sort of despair, on the contrary, she provided us with some sort of security. In Terezin she worked as a nurse for mentally and physically handicapped children, and behaved well. We went to visit her almost every afternoon.

In the afternoon we would have lessons. And what was taught? Mostly they talked about food; it’s interesting that in concentration camps they always talked about food. There they’d cook in their imaginations, exchange recipes, talk about what’s the first thing we’ll make for dinner when they liberate us. Of course we studied mathematics, we studied history, religion, naturally.

At noon we had time off, and we would go visit our mother. In the afternoon there might have been some smaller chores: we took care of the garden, or played soccer, read and so on. We also sometimes went to see some performance, to see Brundibar or something else. Under the guidance of our tutors we also rehearsed a varied repertoire of our own, the girls joined us and together we put together some recitals, theater, concerts, played various games…

[Editor’s note: The children’s opera Brundibar was created in 1938 for a contest announced by the then Czechoslovak Ministry of Schools and National Education. It was composed by Hans Krasa based on a libretto by Adolf Hoffmeister. The first performance of Brundibar – by residents of the Jewish orphanage in Prague – wasn’t seen by the composer. He had been deported to Terezin. Not long after him, Rudolf Freudenfeld, the son of the orphanage’s director, who had rehearsed the opera with the children, was also transported. This opera had more than 50 official performances in Terezin. The idea of solidarity, collective battle against the enemy and the victory of good over evil today speaks to people the whole world over. Today the opera is performed on hundreds of stages in various corners of the world.]

For children life in Terezin wasn’t such a catastrophe. Of course, we knew that we were hemmed in by walls, that there was a certain restriction, but we didn’t perceive it as an immediate horror. Maybe the smaller children did, well, everyone experienced it differently, everyone has different experiences.

As I am saying, for me Terezin wasn’t so horrible. It may also have been due to the fact that we were 13, 14 years old and we were starting to live like young people, we were beginning to experience loves, we were forming impressions of what it was going to be like when we would once again be able to live like normal people; it was the springtime of our lives.

While we weren’t yet utterly destroyed, like in Auschwitz or other camps, while we were healthy and strong, fed after a fashion, really after a fashion, we also thought about pleasant things.

The head teacher in our boys’ home was named Ota Klein. He was this young guy, who was something over 20 years old. Actually, all the teachers were young people between the ages of 18 to 25. And understandably each one of them had his own idea of how to lead his section of the home.

For example, in No. 1, Eisinger, who was older, a Communist, led his class in a leftist way. They published a magazine called Vedem 19, which was leftist. On the other hand, Franta Mayer in No. 7 was a Zionist, and so the children were led towards Zionism.

Our teacher, Arno Ehrlich, was a Czech Jew, who led us in this pseudo-scouting spirit: we had various principles, we ‘hunted beavers’ [similar to collecting scout badges in various disciplines – Translator’s note] by Foglar’s example, we learned the Morse code and so on. I think our magazine was called Beaver, but unfortunately hasn’t been preserved. I don’t know why. In the end a number of boys remained in Terezin and could have saved it, in any case it didn’t happen. I remember that I drew some covers for it. Each issue had some sort of slogan.

One slogan for example was ‘help your fellow man’ – a scout helps his fellow man. And so as a symbol I drew two people shaking hands. The cover was symbolic; it was supposed to represent the concept of the entire issue. Thanks to his naturalness and his way of behaving, Arno Ehrlich was much respected and liked among the boys. He also went to Auschwitz, but he survived. Now he’s named Arno Erban and lives in America.

Friday evening was Erev Shabbat. Each home had to line up, and Otta Klein walked about and checked whether everything was clean, if boots were clean, if there weren’t bits of food in your canteen… Points were given for all this, and if someone had a mess, everyone lost points.

The boy in question then became the subject of derision, because he had ruined the entire home’s evaluation. You see, the homes competed among themselves as to who would have the best marks that month. You know, the teachers were always trying to in some fashion isolate us from that everyday ghetto life, from the everyday horrors of that prison. They tried, within the realm of possibility, to give us some sort of normal living conditions.

We competed in soccer; each home had its own soccer team. We played on some sort of field that had been built on the fortress walls. [Editor’s note: The town of Terezin is basically an old fortress, which was surrounded by walls – in places very wide ones.

As the town gradually developed, soil was piled up around some of the walls and so in places it reached the height of the walls – that’s why it was possible for a soccer field to be located ‘on the walls.’] Of course, the grown-ups also played soccer in the barracks courtyard. That was always a big event.

Several hundred, perhaps a thousand people would gather around and cheer for the individual teams. Other things also helped us free ourselves from the reality of prison. A performance of ‘The Bartered Bride’ was a huge experience, though it was a concert performance, without costumes, but with amazing singers:

German singers learned their parts in Czech, and sang it with such amazing style that it was said that that performance would have held up even on the stage of the National Theater. It was performed in the school gymnasium, and the effect of them singing ‘a good thing has happened, true love is victorious…’ – everyone was so moved they wept. It was a huge spiritual support.

We got packages that were sent to us by our former cook, Mrs. Kopska, and this on the other hand was a huge material support. It wasn’t a simple thing, the post office was accepting less and less packages, and if for example some anti-Semitic clerk was sitting behind the counter, he would peer suspiciously at them, in the sense of ‘what are you, Christians, doing sending packages to Jews?’ Another thing was finding the food, which wasn’t at all a simple matter, because food was rationed via coupons.

It was expensive. Where Anci got the money, I don’t know, perhaps her mother left her some cash. She even managed to send us packages to Auschwitz, when about twice there was the opportunity to do so. They were addressed to the Arbeitslager [labor camp] near Neuberun – no one knew where that was.

So we got one or two packages from her even in Auschwitz. Then it stopped. The packages weighed about five kilos, three to five kilos. Of course bread was sent, some flour, cream of wheat…simply basic foodstuffs. Maybe some salami, it was a big help. There wasn’t such a horrible hunger in Terezin, like there was later in Auschwitz, at least not for us, for the children, because we for example got packages that came for the other prisoners but were undeliverable, because they had either died or left for the East. The Jewish self-government then gave these packages mainly to the children.

Entirely different was the situation of old people, who died horrible deaths in Terezin. Over 30,000 people died here, mainly old people, and mainly from Germany. Young German Jews were sent from their homes to the East right away, old people were sent to ‘spas.’

They were told that they could purchase a stay at the spa in Terezin, if they pay for it, give the Hitlerites their home, sell all their belongings, and in exchange for that they can move to the Terezin spa, where they will have accommodations with a view out on a lake, on a park.

They then arrived in Terezin and saw in what conditions they would have to live here. In buildings packed from cellar to attic, in absolutely desperate hygienic conditions. If there were toilets at all, they were dry, water always only ran for a little while, there were bugs, dirt, disease…And so those that arrived from some sort of civilized environment to these horrible conditions, quite often died. They had it the worst here.

We children would of course see them from time to time. Not that we would go visit them in their homes, that was something so repellent, that we were disgusted, and it was also dangerous, there were bedbugs, fleas, it was simply horrible, horrible conditions.

These people got no rations, there was no one left in Germany to send them packages, and so they would stand at the food distribution points and beg for soup. We children didn’t eat soup, because it wasn’t soup, it was some sort of warm water left over from boiling potatoes or something, so we would give it to them, we weren’t as hungry as all that. I also remember them picking out rotten potatoes…they simply lived in desperation, but that was the paradox of Terezin.

The paradox of Terezin was that on the one hand people were dying of hunger, desperation, dirt, disease, hopelessness, but on the other hand people played soccer, there were concerts, operas such as Brundibar, The Bartered Bride and so on.

In Terezin people sang, people died. And you have to put that together. For example, lectures. There were dozens and dozens of lectures. You know, the SS didn’t mind, the SS mainly said to themselves: the main thing is that you’re not preparing some sort of rebellion, that you’re keeping order that we’ve ordered you to keep. The Jewish self-government is to keep an eye on that, and as long as there isn’t some sort of disorder, you can do what you want. Maybe not.

More likely it was tolerated, rather than someone permitting it. But there were amazing lectures. Historical lectures, philosophical lectures, law lectures, musical theory, Jewish history… I’m saying that Terezin was in this respect the freest town in the entire Protectorate or Reich. Because there could be no thought of what was put on here, be it lectures, allegorical sketches or theater performances, that something like that could be held in the Protectorate.

So in this spiritual respect it was the freest place. Another paradox. Don’t forget, that Jews that met here were really the elite of all of Europe, whether they were German, Austrian or Czech Jews, whether they were painters, writers, musicians, doctors, scientists…it was simply an intellectual elite, that when it had the means, made itself known here. And again, it’s necessary to put this into the proper perspective. Of course, Terezin was for one a place where people died, that was one of its purposes, but it was also a place where one waited for further transport.

For young people life in Terezin wasn’t the worst thing. During their time there they managed to adapt to the local conditions, they managed to make some connections in the kitchen or with the guards, they went to work in gardens outside of the ghetto, so they would bring back some vegetables, they got packages… 

The longer a prisoner lives in certain conditions, and this doesn’t have to do with just Terezin, this is in every jail, the better he is able to make connections, orient himself, find where you can get what advantages, which guard is more sympathetic, which one you can talk to, who will help or how you can smuggle something in. People managed it, and those who managed to stay in Terezin until the fall of 1944, when the transports to the East were stopped, saved their lives.

While people that didn’t escape the transports, 99 percent of them died. In Auschwitz, in Treblinka, in Majdanek, in Minsk, or wherever they were sent. The biggest fear of young people in Terezin was the wait for the next transports to the East. In Terezin everyone tried to avoid the transports, and it really was the biggest luck of their life when someone managed it. How many people survived from those Eastern transports? And especially children didn’t survive. As long as children stayed in Terezin, they had a chance of survival. But children that were sent to the East, had practically no chance at all.

We left Terezin on the December transport in 1943, for Auschwitz. We got the summons on these strips of paper, and so we proceeded in the morning with the remnants of our luggage, the cattle wagons arrived, they threw some of our luggage into them, stuffed about 60 or 70 of us people into one wagon, plus they stuck in a pail of tea and another big pail as a toilet, and sealed the wagon.

I was saying to myself, this can’t be happening, how can we breathe in here, how are we supposed to survive the trip? It was one of the worst experiences ever. The shock, when from the, despite everything, civilized environment of Terezin, they all of a sudden transported us like cattle…

The tea was soon spilled or drunk, and the toilet overflowing, because one pail was simply too little for sixty people. Filth, stench, of course there were already several corpses, you couldn’t breathe, horrible thirst… Two days we rode on, two nights and a day or something like that, it was an utterly unimaginable experience. The thirst was terrible.

After those two days and two nights we were close to insanity from thirst, and what of those who were transported here from Greece or Crete for seven or twelve days without water, by then most of them were of course dead, and the rest would have given everything for a bit of tea.

We were that December transport that went to the family camp and wasn’t immediately liquidated. A second, similar one, went in May of 1944, and also wasn’t immediately liquidated. While the first transport, which left in September, and also went to the family camp, was completely destroyed on 8th March 1944. Before their deaths the prisoners had to write postcards post-dated to 25th March 1944. Based on these, those in Terezin didn’t believe that they were all dead. I think that they didn’t want to believe it, that it was an attempt to rather not talk about it, to rather not spread panic.

By me it was a huge moral failure: in the summer of 1944 there were reports from other sources coming to Terezin, so there they already knew that there were gas chambers in Auschwitz. And they, the leaders of the self-government, they let those people in Terezin, in fact they talked them into it, board the transports.

Why didn’t they say no, we aren’t going to organize the transports any more? Let the Germans do it themselves now. We’re not going to have anything to do with it. The Jewish council of elders didn’t dare to do this. What was the organization of those deportation transports like? The Germans might have said about someone, this one’s going on the transport, because he was smoking or stole something, but the others were to be selected.

Can you imagine what then ensued? When someone was selected for the transport, he tried to do a so-called ‘self-reclamation.’ That means that he went to see the representatives on the council of elders and said: ‘I’m indispensable, I don’t want to go, take me off the list.’ But, his place had to be taken by someone else. Do you understand this Hamletesque dilemma? It was a battle for life. One was saved, but another was sent to his death.

In 1943 they could still say that they didn’t know what was happening there, that they thought that they were work transports, and so they organized them. They didn’t know anything yet about Auschwitz, about Treblinka, they did think that there wasn’t anything good there, but neither did they know about anything concretely terrible. There was no certainty, only a suspicion.

But during the time that the Jewish council already knew what was going on there, and despite that still organized the transports, that I look upon as a failure. They should at least have said, ‘no more. You can’t count on us any more. We aren’t going to organize it any more.’ And it was a matter of only days.

On 28th October 1944 the last transport left, and in a few days it was over: the Hitlerites blew up the gas chambers. Whoever didn’t get onto that transport saved his own life.

I don’t have a right to judge, of course, because I know that those conditions… but you know, when someone takes on some sort of function, it’s not only a privilege. When he accepts some function, he then has to realize that the moment some sort of crisis develops, some sort of horrible dilemma, he must then be prepared to put his life on the line. And this doesn’t have to do with just this case.

Well, so what would have happened? Maybe something would have happened, I don’t know, maybe they would have put another, different system into place, but it would at least have been an act of some sort of resistance.

They unloaded us at Auschwitz, at that time there wasn’t yet a spur line to Birkenau. It was horribly cold there, it was a freezing December day, around us the barking of dogs and the SS and prisoners in that striped clothing. Before that we hadn’t seen prisoners in striped clothing, in Terezin we wore normal civilian clothes, there were no prison uniforms there.

We even had normal hair, we only wore the star. Everyone in Terezin was decently dressed. Now we saw those striped figures. They loaded us onto trucks and drove us, from Auschwitz it’s about three kilometers. While still in Terezin, the old prisoners said to us: when you see electrified barbed wire, and beside them warning signs, that there is high voltage, you’re in a concentration camp. And this is exactly what we saw from the truck.

So I said to myself, concentration camp, that was a concept. Of course no one knew exactly what it meant, but those rumors and stories, what was going on here, just that inspired horror. We didn’t know about extermination camps, but just the concentration camp was enough for us.

Now I said, ‘so now I’m suddenly out of that relatively civilized environment of Terezin in a concentration camp.’ They threw us on some pallets, luckily they didn’t make a selection, led us off to the showers, where they stripped us, shaved us, tattooed numbers on us and gave us some prison rags, they were already disinfected and were horrible, plus wooden shoes and we looked like scarecrows.

Eventually we managed to exchange these rags for some better ones. The first impression was so terrible, and the horror of those buildings, they probably used to be stables, maybe for horses, and now they had six or seven hundred people stuffed into them.

On top of that of course the brutality of the functionaries, the SS… Basically the entire shock of arriving in Auschwitz was horrible. You know, those are the various degrees of horror. Now we had once again sunk to a lower level, to a higher category of horror.

Luckily I got into the children’s block, which was led by Fredy Hirsch 20, and this was a certain relief. During the day we could stay in the children’s block, and so in some fashion separate ourselves from that horrible life outside, we didn’t have to continually be looking at the SS and at that whole horror of the rest of the camp. It was an amazing privilege that Fredy Hirsch managed to obtain.

He was an extraordinarily charismatic person, who impressed even the Germans. He had this military bearing, so they in some fashion respected him, and thanks to this the children’s block was created. In it were children up to the ages of 14 or 15, I think that I shaved off a year or so, to be able to get into it. In it we had a teacher who tried to occupy us somehow: the small children played or sang, the older ones had some sort of studies; it helped us to for at least a while forget the excruciating hunger.

Interesting people used to come see us, for example, once a former journalist who had participated in the Olympics in Berlin in 1936 came by, and he spoke to us about what the atmosphere there had been like, how Hitler had the feeling that the Aryan race must be victorious, but when Jesse Owens defeated a German and got four gold medals, Hitler could have had a fit. And we were overjoyed that that Negro had beat Hitler, and so we were filled with hope that one day we would also beat Hitler. Not all were successful, but at least some were.

When there were roll calls at the camp, this meant that once or twice a day the prisoners had to line up in groups of five and the SS would walk around and count them; they took place outside, no matter what the weather. We children again had the advantage that we could do the counting in our block, in relative warmth.

Not that it was hot or anything in there, but it wasn’t freezing either, because there was actually some sort of heating. For example, Fredy Hirsch arranged for the small children to get better food, like perhaps getting thicker soup. But what the sense of that was, why they fed those children for six months and then sent them all into the gas, that I don’t know.

Hitler’s chief doctor Dr. Josef Mengele used to walk about there. He was this man who was always in a perfect uniform, always wore white gloves, he looked very distinguished and acted very kindly towards the children, like an uncle. Simply no one would have believed that he’s a murderer. This was of course all a big fraud, a sham.

The prisoners in the family camp had a note in the central registry, ‘Sonderbehandlung nach sechs Monaten.’ Special handling after six months. This was a code; special handling meant death in the gas chambers after six months. We had it too.

The fateful June 1944 arrived. But the situation had changed, there was an invasion, the front was approaching. Germany needed workers, so the Hitlerites apparently realized that it would be a waste of human resources if they liquidated healthy people. And so they picked several thousand healthy men and women and sent them to work camps. Some of these people survived.

They picked my brother as well. He however didn’t survive, he apparently died in the spring of 1945, either due to illness or during the death marches. My mother had already undergone an operation for cancer in Terezin – they removed one of her breasts – and now couldn’t pass the selection, so they left her there. I also stayed, because I was a boy of fourteen, unfit for labor.

One hot summer day, some boys say that it was on Thursday, 6th July 1944, I don’t remember the date, it’s possible, Mengele came to the camp and one boy found the courage to come near him and said to him that we were one more group of boys, who were capable of working:

‘They aren’t yet emaciated and sick, it’s true they’re not sixteen yet, but are willing to work.’ Mr. Mengele was apparently in a good mood, and was so kind that he didn’t have the boy shot on the spot, and he actually organized a selection in the children’s block, which was already empty.

I remember that he was standing on the right, and we, naked with clothes and shoes in our hands, marched past him. He then indicated whether we could survive, or couldn’t. He pointed about ninety boys in the right direction. The registrar then recorded their numbers. I had the luck to be among them. He sent us to the neighboring camp.

That was our salvation. Not the salvation of all, but of those ninety boys almost half survived. It was this miracle, pure chance. On 10th July there was another mass murder, which was perhaps even bigger than the one in March, about seven thousand people from the Terezin family camp were murdered over two nights. Women with children, old, sick people, they simply all died in the gas chambers. It was the end of the family camp. It was also the death of my mother.

Then we arrived at the men’s camp. Because there wasn’t room anywhere else, we were assigned to a block that was designated for the penal commando, for prisoners that were guilty of something and so were put into an especially tough work group.

We however were not subject to the duties of the ‘Strafkommando.’ Our block was closed, it had its own courtyard that was enclosed by a wall, and on the other side of that courtyard was the ‘Sonderkommando,’ prisoners that worked in the crematoriums and in the gas chambers.

From these people we learned what had happened to the family camp. Of course we suspected it; it was they that finally confirmed it. They told us how exactly it had taken place; one prisoner showed us a box full of gold teeth. He probably smuggled them in, and then tried to exchange them for food or cigarettes or something like that.

Every little while sirens would go off, that meant that some prisoner had escaped. Lots of people tried to escape. As soon as it was found out, the barbed wire was electrified: you see, the wire wasn’t always electrified, only in the event of some crisis, like when the transports were going to the gas chambers. But now a state of emergency was declared, the wires were charged with high voltage, and most of those that tried to escape were caught.

They were led back in a horrible fashion, accompanied by taunting music, some sort of march, then they gave them a sign to hold, how happy they are to be back again, they led them to our block’s courtyard, beat them horribly, and a few days later, when they had barely regained their health and hadn’t died straight away from the beating, they hung them. The gallows stood in the middle of the camp and the entire camp had to come watch the execution. And of course we were also witnesses to people being tortured in the courtyard of our block.

After some time we again got our bearings. For the first time we got the chance to go outside of the area of the highly guarded camp. We had this hay-wagon, about eight of us boys pulled it, and we would for example go for wood for the crematoriums. It was stacked up in the courtyard there, and the functionaries told us to bring it, that it was needed for heating, cooking...

On the way we passed a spur line around which were piled things that had remained from some transport. For example when Hungarian Jews arrived, there were lots of things lying there, because they hadn’t had a chance to clean it up yet. We found for example loaves of bread, salamis, shirts, shoes, jam... those were all amazing possessions.

So we loaded it up under the wood and smuggled it into the camp, in this way we helped ourselves out and improved our lives. As well, when someone would, say, work in the kitchen, peeling potatoes, he could tie up a pant leg, dump some potatoes in it, smuggle them out and help himself out in this way; it was a good opportunity. In time we were able to orient ourselves in the camp, we saw where it was possible to come by some things, so a trip out of the camp was always useful.

Here I spent three months, but once at the beginning of October I was in the kitchen, peeling potatoes and suddenly someone called out that they were picking out boys for another transport to someplace else, outside of Auschwitz. I found out that it was my friends, so I ran out, made my way in among them, and again some SS soldier was pointing right, left. He pointed me in the opposite direction of most of my friends, but suddenly, on some impulse, I ran over behind his back without him seeing me, to the larger group.

So maybe it was better, maybe it wasn’t better, but in any case I’m alive, so I guess I saved my life. They took our group of twenty or thirty boys to the Gross-Rosen camp 21 in Silesia, and there it was an utter catastrophe. Yet another dimension of horror. It was already fall, cold, we had only summer clothing.

There was no possibility of getting something more, to go get some packages, for some remnants of food, the only thing remaining was work. Slave work in the forest at a sawmill, in the freezing cold, in hunger, infested by thousands of lice.

In Auschwitz the lice had been at least somewhat under control. There was some sort of cleanliness, when a louse was found, you went for disinfection. You see, the Germans were very afraid of spotted fever, which was transmitted by lice. But here... it was something catastrophic.

You can’t imagine, what it’s like, to be constantly lice-ridden, lice multiply geometrically, you can’t exterminate them, you kill one and in a little while there are ten in its place. You sleep under a blanket that moves. And when for example old people can’t defend themselves... well, it was simply one big catastrophe.

The winter of 1944-45 was moreover very cold, we were in the mountains, either the Orlicke or Anderspass, it was somewhere close to Broumov, on the other side of the mountains. We chopped down trees, which was hard work, but worst of all was that horrible winter, that constant freezing cold and the constant hunger, the whole hopelessness of it. The food was meager, a person couldn’t come by anything extra any more. There was nothing in the fields, we looked for frozen acorns, but you couldn’t find anything, it was winter.

While we had looked down upon those German Jews in Terezin, now I also picked rotted potatoes, if I had the chance to get to them. We were really becoming ‘muselmen.’ People whose bones were covered only by skin. I then fell ill, I went to the headquarters; it was my certain salvation. The food was still nothing much, but it was more or less warm, I was in bed and didn’t have to go out into that horrible freezing cold and do that horrible work. It was a certain liberation.

After a few days, at the end of January 1945, they took me to yet another camp, so I lost touch with the rest of the boys. Of those thirty boys, only two of us unfortunately survived. Of those that stayed in Auschwitz, about forty survived. They also got into different camps, but on the whole had better conditions.

Perhaps if I hadn’t run over, I would have survived in a more comfortable fashion... who knows. Out of the ninety, forty survived, and from our twenty or thirty only two of us survived: I, and this one Dutch boy. I don’t know of anyone else. That Dutch guy is already dead, he was named Durlacher. So from that group I’m the only one alive.

Then I got into this one factory, really more of a repository of the ill, who practically weren’t going to do any work at all, and were just waiting for death. There were old people, the ill, you can’t imagine what sort of hygienic conditions ruled the place, the lice and of course hunger.

Those few months before the end of the war, that was a battle for life. I was really calculating what would happen first, whether I’d die or the war would end. It was a matter of weeks, of days, of hours. I was in strategically unimportant Kladsko, which the armies aiming for Berlin and into the Protectorate at first skirted, and only the second wave arrived there. The Germans ran away before them, the evening of 8th May it was empty, and on 9th May the Russians and Polish appeared. The end of the war.

With the last of my strength I crawled outside, I slept in some stable among horses, and in the morning I was crawling along a road, when some Russian saw me. I remember that he was this typical Ivan, he had a beard, and when he saw that I was picking through garbage, he took me by the hand and led me to a nearby German farm.

The entire family had to line up, he told them to give me some eggs, and ordered them to take care of me. That family stared at me like at someone from Mars. They had never seen the likes of it: I was deathly ill. They stripped me, put me in a tub. I told them to burn my clothes, that they were full of lice... and then they brought other Germans, their friends, to come have a look at me.

They probably didn’t know at all that somewhere a half kilometer away there was a concentration camp, where people were dying. They put me in a clean room, and then they could think of nothing better than to make me some sort of strong soup, beef or chicken, which for me, emaciated as I was, was of course a catastrophe, subsequently I got diarrhea.

At that time I had spotted fever, tuberculosis and I don’t know what else... and so, when they saw that they themselves couldn’t help me in any way, that I’m not improving, they took me to some hospital, some Polish field hospital. I laid there for several weeks, I got over the spotted fever and then they released me.

I set out on the road to Prague, partly on foot, partly on some trucks or freight trains, until I got to the Czech border, to the border station Mezilesi-Lichkov. I sat at the train station and waited for a train to Prague. Then I got on it and said to myself, well, so what, I’m going to Prague.

  • Post-war

I staggered around Prague, I hadn’t forgotten where I lived, so I went there. I only hoped that the building wouldn’t be destroyed, because I had heard that there had been fighting in Prague. Luckily the building was still standing, our neighbor, Mrs. Bondy, took me in to her apartment, because Mrs. Kopska wasn’t at home.

Then Mrs. Kopska arrived as well, I went over there and was telling her my whole tale, and mainly I ate. That saved my life. The doctor told me that he hadn’t hoped at all that I would survive, that’s how serious my condition was, but I had such a strong will to live, that I overcame my physical condition.

I gained weight, I easily ate a whole marble cake in one sitting; food was my only joy. And then to be in a clean bed and have some sort of comfort. I spent the first few months in various hospitals and sanatoriums, for practically two years I was out of circulation. My condition was not that easy to overcome. That’s what the post-war period was like for me.

As far as my family went, I was the only one to survive the war, my mother and brother both died. From my other relatives, my uncle Jindrich Brod and aunt Berta from Pardubice died in Auschwitz, Uncle Jiri Petrovsky with his wife Anna and son Ivos most likely died in Lodz, Uncle Jiri’s daughter, Vera, who he had from his first marriage with that Italian woman, she wasn’t deported, and died after the war of leukemia.

Further, my mother’s sister Stefa Pickova died in Auschwitz in 1944, her brother Jindrich was also in Auschwitz, but he didn’t die until after its liberation in March of 1945. It’s a miracle that his wife, Aunt Ruzena, and their two children also survived the war. My mother’s brother Karel wasn’t deported anywhere.

After the war I lived with Mrs. Kopska in the apartment on Masna Street, from which we had left for the transports. For a long time I couldn’t go to school or work, it wasn’t until the beginning of 1948 that I began working as some sort of clerk in a company that in those days was named ‘Gramofonove zavody’ [Gramophone Works], where I worked for about two years.

In the meantime I got an offer, that people that wanted to study and actively participate in society, can apply, and if they didn’t have their high school diploma, that they had to finish it. For a few months after that I attended some sort of course, at its end I had an exam that substituted for a high school finals, and after that I could register at university.

In the 1950-51 semester I entered the School of Political and Economic Sciences, which was really more of a school that was supposed to educate functionaries for an economic and political life. In time it was closed, and its students were transferred to the Philosophico-historical Faculty of the Charles University, where they could choose various fields for further study, such as philosophy, history or some politico-diplomatic path.

I chose history and finished in 1955. After graduation each student got a placement certificate, some sort of document, the right to work either in an institute or in some company. I applied for a position in the Military Historical Institute, where I and about five other fellow students started working in 1955.

We were very poor. Right after the war there was a currency reform, when all money was transferred to so-called fixed deposits, thereby all savings accumulated during the Protectorate became invalid. My mother had left behind some jewelry, which Mrs. Kopska had saved, and for example for one gold chain I bought myself a suit in Darex. Darex was a predecessor to Tuzex [a special store with foreign goods that weren’t normally available in Communist countries], where with gold you could buy things that otherwise weren’t available in stores.

As I said, the fate of other Jews had missed my uncle Karel, who stayed in Prague. After the war he was really my only relative that could help me. They had a beautiful building in Vinohrady, and I used to go begging to him, like when I needed some money for school. While he did usually give me something, it was usually in a way so that his wife wouldn’t see it. I was so humiliating! That’s why I was basically glad when his family moved to Brazil after 1948. We didn’t keep in touch after that; my uncle has since died.

The time following the year 1948, when the Communist regime took power, was a time of the harshest persecutions and of that whole strained atmosphere, when really anyone could be a potential enemy and everyone could be arrested.But I was apart from all that; I didn’t participate in any political activity. I was a student that was interested in studies, so I didn’t involve myself in practically any public functions or politics; it was outside my sphere of interest.

I didn’t have the kind of preparation for studies that other boys had, who went through all seven grades of high school; for me studies were tough to handle. So my main worry was managing my studies: to pass exams and continue on to the next years of school. So that’s why I have to admit that political events were outside of my focus of attention, outside of my main focus.

Even before February [1948] I joined the Communist Party, because I had this idea, that they’re against the one extreme, which was represented by Hitler’s regime, that it’s only possible to fight with another extreme, that democracy as a political system had failed, hadn’t managed to defend itself. And that the only truly strong opponent, and guarantor that Hitler’s rule and Hitler’s regime won’t happen again, is a Communist regime.

These, idealistic reasons, led me to joining the Party in January of 1948. Even though it’s not possible to understand it unilaterally. By my nature I wasn’t a Communist, I had been raised in a democratic spirit, I came from a bourgeois family. In those days everyone’s origins were carefully investigated and a bourgeois origin was dangerous, it represented a huge impediment and a big minus for your profile.

But I was an orphan, and had lived through hard times during the war, so in my case it didn’t maybe play such a big role, but of course it was nothing positive. I tried to accept Communism as a thought, as an ideology, but perhaps precisely because I had a different nature, I suppressed my doubts and my notions that despite everything, that democracy is something we should respect, even if it did fail, it does have some good points.

This all was something unconscious, because what did I, a seventeen year old kid, know about democracy? The fact remains, that in this sense I wasn’t one of those enthusiastic, unthinking and herd-mentality types, who at meetings clapped and shouted ‘three cheers for Stalin!’ and ‘long live the Soviet Union!’

Or could have been beside himself with joy when he marched in a 1st May parade, or saw some Communist leader at a meeting; I really wasn’t like that. I had to fight within myself with what in those days were called the residuals of bourgeois thinking.

All expressions of these so-called relics were very closely watched by the other Communists, who were leading functionaries at the school, and very carefully recorded everything that didn’t agree with their ideas of what a young Communist nation-builder should look like.

When February came, I would say it something like this: with my intellect I accepted it as some sort of solution, but my heart was certainly not a hundred percent on that side. Certainly not that. I knew that something good was ending.

That now was beginning something that I intellectually understood, I had to study the writings of Marx, Stalin and similar, and orient myself in Communist ideology, but in my heart I was sorry that it was the end of an era, where discussion, opposition, expression of opinions other than Communist ones were possible. So I didn’t blend in with the crowd, the crowd always provoked me to questions that were non-conformist.

But of course I had to be careful to not express myself out loud. If a person wanted to be at school and wanted to finish his studies, he had to be careful in what he expressed. He couldn’t show that he didn’t belong to the collective, that he wasn’t one with it. The school had a big political police presence.

There were people there, who very closely watched our behavior; everything was recorded in cadre critiques. Every few months they conducted so-called vetting. I never hurt anyone, but naturally I didn’t want to hurt myself either, by saying that this is nonsense, empty talk, an incorrect opinion.

Of course, the time of the Slansky trials 22 was while I was at the school, but again it didn’t really affect me. I felt that there was something bad here, that there’s something here that’s not right, what is dangerous and what is a symptom of unfortunate developments, but I thought it better to turn away from it. I said to myself, that after all I, as a Jewish boy, can’t sympathize with those sentenced Jews, with those Zionists, because then that stigma would fall on me as well.

So I withdrew and said to myself, that the Party has a reason to say this, so I rather won’t think too much. It was however a mistake, it was my shame, that I didn’t see through it even back then, but in that atmosphere that existed, it wasn’t possible, and it wouldn’t have been good, because if I would have seen through it, I would have had to have been expelled or would have had to drop out of school.

In 1953, Gottwald 23 died. That was time of deep sorrow in the nation. Of course at school there were official speeches and tears, mainly girls sobbed emotionally at the loss, the horrible wound, moreover it wasn’t just Gottwald, shortly before that, Stalin had also died.

Everyone tried to outdo each other in expressions of grief, I don’t know anymore if black armbands were worn, but in any case laughter was a crime. It really was a time when a person had to very obviously show what a loss had afflicted this nation and the Party and all progressive people in the world. Of course, it was a farce.

A farce in a time of horror, when one knew that everywhere there was someone waiting and watching him. Who is making notes of his statements and who is watching his behavior, speech, opinions. We lived in a police state and went to police school.

Expulsion of people was common. For example, one colleague dug up Trotsky 24 somewhere and began to read him. But Trotsky’s book, that was a crime. That was enough to get burned at the stake. It was discovered in his personal possessions, and so he was immediately expelled. Really a horrible time.

On the other hand, we were young; I was twenty, twenty-one, really, I was making up for my lost youth. I had spent the best years of my youth in prison or in hospitals, so I was also beginning to want to live a real life, have loves and so on, and while I was still handicapped by my condition, in spite of that a person wanted to have some interests, tried to go out and have fun: there were various clubs, dancing, singing... Fun was limited in various ways, but still, it was a certain escape from a regimented political life.

During my studies, in 1952, I also met my future wife. She was named Libuse Kvasnickova, was three years younger than me and came from Moravia. We met at the school residence in Opletalova Street, where I used to go see my friends, to hold various parties or rehearsed all sorts of amusing theatre performances. We began to go out together, and after two years, while we were still in school, in 1954, we were married.

Libuse was fairly politically conscious, more of proletarian origin, even though her father was a policeman, so not really a proletarian. After the war their entire family devoted themselves to politics and joined the Communist party. My wife was a committed member of the Czechoslovak Socialist Youth Movement.

I think that she looked at me with some sort of detachment, because she could see that I wasn’t as much a believer as she was, that in fact in private I was willing to tell so-called reactionary jokes, which was a huge insult, it wasn’t allowed.

But under my influence she became more civilized and very soon she turned into a normal girl. We had a student wedding at the Old Town city hall; I had practically no money to pay for it. It was really student-style, it was on 30th April 1954 and right the next day we went to the [May Day] parade.

In those days we’d go parade through Prague, the entire school took part. It was a farce, we were supposed to celebrate 1st May, and our party and government, our leaders. After the wedding we lived, together with Mrs. Kopska, in the apartment on Masna Street. In the fall, our daughter Sarka was born.

After finishing school, I started to work at the Military Historical Institute. Up until 1955, the main enemy of all faithful Communists was Tito 25. He was a traitor and all accusations in the Slansky trials rested in the fact that it was a Titoist, Zionist group.

Lev Haas, who also experienced Terezin, later completely discredited himself by the fact that in every edition of Rude Pravo [newspaper with a leftist-oriented editorial policy] there was his picture of the bloody dog Tito, together with other Imperialist criminals, such as Eisenhower, MacArthur. But Tito always commanded them, and blood dripped from his hands. In them he held an axe, with which he wanted to commit murders. You could also be expelled from the Party for associating with Yugoslavs, simply put: Yugoslavia with Tito at its head was our enemy.

But then, in 1955, Khrushchev 26 visited Belgrade, got off the plane, and Tito was waiting for him at the airport. And Khrushchev addressed him ‘my dear comrade Tito.’ Well, that was a shock for me. I said to myself, I must be dreaming. Such a bloodstained cur, this agent of imperialism, this embodiment of all horrible, evil and disgusting, is suddenly our dear comrade? That’s a fraud, I said to myself.

Now I know that you’ve fooled me. Now I know, that what I was concealing in my heart and what I was afraid to show, is the truth, you’re criminals. Of course it wasn’t possible to immediately switch from Communist thoughts to anti-Communism. In this behavior and thinking I wasn’t alone.

We tried to reorganize Communism in some fashion, to reform it. We tried to in some fashion pick holes in the ideology of one clairvoyant and omniscient thought, Communist truth, we wanted to point out the crimes that were happening. That, however, wasn’t an easy thing.

In Czechoslovakia, practically the entire intellectual front in the humanities, philosophers, historians, journalists, writers, who had up to now been Communists, tried to reform Communism; we tried to subvert that infallible Party. That intellectual front was so huge, that no one knew what to do with it. Functionaries and leading Party ideologues were saying that we were paid from the West by revisionists and American imperialists. That it’s all some sort of intrigue, some sort of fraud, some sort of conspiracy.

Of course, no one was getting anything; it was an attempt at purification by people that realized that they had believed in something that turned out to be a fraud, something so horrible. That’s why they now tried to in some way improve it, regenerate it. Naturally, we were idealists; that regime couldn’t be rehabilitated, that regime needed to be destroyed. For a long time though, we couldn’t bring up the courage to do that, because the idea of socialism as a just system that could benefit society was still sympathetic to us.

We believed, that if you set out in the right direction, and if the right people take charge, it can be fixed somehow. I myself was always looking for some model that would combine socialism with democracy. That would combine an Eastern system with a Western one, I was looking for a third way, which of course was also nonsense, but I simply didn’t want to give up the idea of reforming socialism somehow. A person wasn’t reborn all at once.

A person only realized that Communism is a crime. That Stalinism is a crime. That the Soviet Union is an imperialistic, criminal state. But this, after all, doesn’t mean putting socialism on the scrap heap! There can still be an idea and practice that could be realized, and would bring the world some good. In this was the schizophrenia and problem of the generation that I represented.

At the Military Historical Institute I got to the question of Czechoslovak resistance in the West during World War II, which of course was a huge taboo. For one, Benes 27 was a gangster, and all those that fought in the West were criminals, most or all of them were accomplices of imperialism, so after February they were in prisons.

I and another colleague, Eduard Cejka, tried to describe this history more objectively. Not objectively, that wasn’t possible, but at least to show that they weren’t all reactionaries, that on the contrary, they were people that fought against Hitlerism, for the Republic, that they were people that should be given credit.

But that was a shock for the political workers in the army. They almost lynched us for that. We wrote a book, that when a person reads it today, he would say is horrible, but unfortunately it wasn’t possible to write it in any other way.

The important thing isn’t that it contains rubbish, the important thing is the theme, that it’s written about soldiers in the West, who weren’t imperialists, who fought for freedom. That book met with an amazing response. It even won some prize in a Freedom Fighters Union contest, but for a long time the censors didn’t allow its publication, that didn’t happen until the 1960s.

We put on many lectures across the entire country, they were full, former soldiers from the West would come to them, those that had already been released from jail at the beginning of the 1960s. Of course, it was a sensational thing for them that someone had finally begun to talk about them as people that had helped free the country. I recall that at one lecture one former soldier came forward and said to me, ‘You know, I fought for our country. But now, if we again had the situation where someone would be threatening our country, and my son joined the army, I’d rather break his legs than let him go fight for it.’ That really engraved itself deeply into my memory.

Khrushchev’s secret speech, which he gave in 1956 – at that time I still worked in that military institute – of course in some fashion became publicly known. We knew it after a fashion, and in Party organizations people started discussing what Stalinism had really been and what crimes it carried with it.

At one meeting I imprudently compared the methods of Party politics and police to the methods of the Gestapo. Which the ‘politruks’ [or political officer, representative of the Czechoslovak Communist Party responsible for politically educational matters] made a note of. It was immediately investigated, the secret police came to see me; they even tried to draft me as a collaborator... They wanted to expel me from the Party. It was a very dangerous situation.

In the end they took away my ability to do research, they gave me a second-rate position at the institute, so the period on the cusp of the 1950s and 1960s was a very difficult one for me. In fact, I was ostracized, even my former colleagues, friends, who had started at the institute with me, didn’t want to have anything to do with me... in the end it’s always like that. When someone falls out of favor, it’s better to distance yourself.

At the beginning of the 1960s the time of horrors passed, it was again somewhat freer, and I got an offer from the Czechoslovak Academy of Sciences, to concern myself with international and Czechoslovak politics under their auspices. I accepted, in 1963 I transferred to an institute that concerned itself with the history of Eastern Europe.

During my studies of Czechoslovak-Soviet relations, however, I came across things that were very dangerous and even more explosive than the issue of Czechoslovak soldiers in the West. That’s why I more or less only gathered material; when I began to write a book, they threw me out. I did then publish the book as a ‘samizdat’ 28, but it wasn’t until after 1989 that I could really concern myself with it seeing the light of day. I consider it to be my life’s work.

The time of the 1960s was mainly political, I gave loads of lectures, about Benes, about soldiers in the West, about February, about the resistance, about the situation during the Protectorate. Here in those days it was claimed that the Communists had been the biggest fighters against Hitlerism, we were refuting that falsehood, because on the contrary, up until 1941 the Communists didn’t fight against Hitler at all.

Opposition to Hitler was mainly composed of the citizenry; the Communists were concentrating on usurping power after the war, not fighting Hitler. Of course this was all news. Everyone stood in amazement when we, the historians, who had access to secret materials, were telling them this. And can you imagine what sort of a shock it was for Communist functionaries, when they heard about it? How we, also Communists, are disrupting the Party and social monolith...

My wife also worked at the Academy of Sciences, though before that she had worked at the Central State Archive, but because she fairly often came into contact with foreigners, the secret police were interested in her, and one day they told her that she can’t work in the secret document archive. They didn’t jail or fire her, but they gave her another position, for a few years after that she participated in the creation of an encyclopedic dictionary at the Encyclopedic Institute of the Academy of Sciences.

Our daughter was cared for by Mrs. Kopska; she was like a grandmother to her, Granny. Actually, she shifted all of her love to her. It was another generation that Mrs. Kopska took care of. My wife was working, as opposed to my mother during my childhood, so it really was Anci who devoted herself to Sarka the most during her childhood. Back then it was the custom to put children in school; Sarka also attended for some time, but Granny would always pick her up and go to the park or the playground with her.

She cooked porridge for her, when she was crying I said, ‘for Pete’s sake, let her cry.’ But Anci said no, that she can’t let her cry. She was probably right: a small child constantly needs some sort of company. So she’d go to her, console her, read her fairy tales, lull her to sleep...She definitely was more afraid for Sarka than we were.

When she was sick, it frightened her. We didn’t concern ourselves very much with it, so what, small children tend to have fevers. As my granddaughter told me, my daughter still thinks about her a lot, and talks about her a lot; after all, Sarka did experience the most beautiful years of her childhood with her.

Anci died in the winter of 1963. She was already ill for several years before her death; she had cancer. She died in the Hospital ‘na Frantisku,’ it wasn’t a very good hospital. We did go and visit her, but we couldn’t secure her quality medical care. I certainly took her death as the death of another member of my family. Of course the entire family attended the funeral, even my father-in-law came. The ceremony was in Strasnice and Anci is buried in the cemetery in Sarka. She’s got an urn there. Her son is also buried in the same grave.

Of course, today I regret it...I regret everything. Back then I wasn’t yet interested in those questions that I would ask her today. Back then, I was beginning to be interested in a different lifestyle, I didn’t ask what and how things had been. I wasn’t interested in it until now. Perhaps everyone or at least the majority of them has certain regrets regarding their parents, those who raised them. The people that were responsible for their childhood. It’s like that one poet says: you want to pay the debt, but there’s no one left to pay.

Her loss was especially hard for Sarka, she cried a lot over her. But in the end she was already big, so she began to go to school by herself, she was already taking care of herself. After elementary school she went to a high school of the arts in the Vinohrady neighborhood. She had and has a considerable talent for art.

We would go on vacation for three or four weeks, mainly in Bohemia, because it was the easiest, or we would send our daughter to some friends out in the country, so she wouldn’t have to be in Prague during the summer, and then we would travel to see her. In the 1960s we managed about two or three times to go to Bulgaria or Yugoslavia, to the sea.

As is well known, the 1960s meant a certain freeing up of conditions for life in Czechoslovakia. It wasn’t for example all that difficult to go to the West for various scientific conferences. I was a founding member of the Committee for the History of the National Struggle for Liberation, so also thanks to that I was invited to foreign conferences.

I went to Vienna, Berlin; I saw a world that was for us absolutely unthinkable. Goods everywhere, fruit and especially electronics, clothes – at that time jeans were starting to be popular, finding them was a problem, and when someone had them, that was fantastic.

You could naturally find similar goods in Tuzex [a special store with foreign goods that weren’t normally available in Communist countries], but still, to see those full display windows, those riches in Vienna and Berlin, neon lights and night life... simply a different world. Yeah, today it’s boring, today the West doesn’t entice me at all, I have neon here too, I have the same goods here too, so what would I do there? The only reason I go there is for the historical sights. But in those days the main goal was to go to a department store.

We could buy things for about a thousand, two thousand crowns. Of course, all sorts of things were smuggled in, or our German friends, when they came for a visit, brought us gifts and various things, it wasn’t again all that impermeable.

Women mainly bought shoes, handbags and similar things: that was a miracle here. Once my wife was returning with her sister from East Germany; they had bought some shoes that hadn’t made it here yet, and then they trembled with fear, hoping that they wouldn’t be confiscated at the border. Because it also happened that he customs officials, when you bought something that exceeded the allowed value, confiscated it. There were various controls at the border, like for example they delayed me for hours and hours when I was going to Germany or Austria, those were odious scenes.

In August of 1968 I received an invitation to a conference that was held each year in the Austrian Alps. I accepted it, my wife and daughter accompanied me to Vienna, then they returned home, and the occupation [see Prague Spring] 29 surprised them here. I experienced the occupation in Alpbach.

I remember how I saw on TV when our notorious delegation arrived in Moscow. I very well recall their cowardice. The occupation, that was confusion, chaos, no one was checking anything at the borders, no one knew what was going to be. The Soviets were here, but they hadn’t yet forbidden travel, and so a great number of people left after 1968, they loaded up their cars and left.

My wife and daughter returned to me to Austria. We had a fall vacation paid for in Yugoslavia, so we left for there. The top leaders of our country, President Svoboda 30, the First Secretary of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia, Dubcek 31, and the then premier of the National Assembly, Smrkovsky 32 were home again, that was also a representation par excellence, but they said that the situation had somewhat calmed down, that we should return. We returned, and saw what was going on here.

At the beginning of 1969 I still got a one-year stipendium to go to Germany. At that time I was considering emigrating. The family came to see me, it had still been a short time, when normalization wasn’t yet so firmly entrenched and you could still travel.

In Germany they were offering me a position at a university, so I had the possibility of staying. If I had had the support of my family, I’d perhaps have done it. But my family didn’t want to emigrate, and I didn’t want to live in Germany alone, so when my stipendium ended, I returned home. Then they threw me out of the Party, because apparently I wasn’t worthy of being a member, they threw me out of the Academy [Czechoslovak Academy of Sciences], well, so I went and pumped water.

They also threw my wife out of the Party and out of the Academy [Czechoslovak Academy of Sciences], she then went to work as a cleaning woman. A long fourteen-year career as a cleaning woman awaited her, which she did until retirement.

Our daughter also had various problems, I think that at the end of the 1960s she was still a member of the Pioneers, but they weren’t accepting her anywhere any more, it was unthinkable that the daughter of an expelled person would be involved in anything. She didn’t even want to be. I think that she quickly realized what was what.

Other things also went on, above all they also harassed her, if she had a driver’s license, then she had to take the exams again, they summoned my wife for retesting, my driver’s license they confiscated, when our daughter wanted to go on an art class trip to France; they didn’t let her... Mainly though she didn’t get to go further in school. [She wasn’t allowed to go on to university due to her parent’s political opinions.]

Not every company would employ people like me. There were special companies that could employ these apostates, these traitors, dissidents: for example we could clean windows, work in boiler rooms... And then there was also this company called Water Resources, whose employees drove around the Czech countryside in trailers and drilled wells, pumped water out of them and measured the flow.

So for a year I did that. For about a year I drove around in a trailer, together with my historian colleague Jan Kren and Petr Pithart [journalist, dissident, now a politician], and there were many more of us in this group. To constantly be driving around in a trailer, even in the winter, was no fun, so I left. For some time I had a work agreement with this one company that provided taxi services to various companies.

They would for example call, saying that so and so wants to be driven someplace, so I drove him there. I made money by counting kilometers traveled and time spent on the trip. But it was of course very dangerous, because it wasn’t a real job. There was the potential danger that they’d jail me as a parasite, I didn’t have insurance... Then, through some connection, I got into a hospital, where there were decent doctors, and they advised me to go see a psychiatrist, that I could have a complex from the concentration camps, and be deemed an invalid.

That worked, and in 1975 I got a disability pension. Thanks to that I could stay at home and work in peace. While it was a meager existence, it was a free one. It was, after all, some sort of financial certainty. There was little money, but prices were also low, so a person could get by on it.

Sometime around Christmas 1976, I think it was Milos Hajek, my historian colleague, also a member of the Committee for the History of the National Struggle for Liberation, came by and told me that a project was being prepared, which wasn’t illegal, on the contrary, that its goal was for the government to observe its own laws and regulations. And I agreed without hesitation, signed it and so I became one of the first of about 150 signatories of Charter 77 33.

It immediately generated a great hue and cry, even though almost no one read the text of the Charter, because it wasn’t allowed to be published; only Radio Free Europe 34 and the Voice of America broadcast about it, or it made the rounds in samizdat form. People didn’t care though, they immediately took a stand against the traitors and subversives, signed the anti-Charter. This happened even in the National Theater, to this day it’s the shame of Czech culture.

They then searched my apartment, they turned my books upside down, they were looking for some sort of counterrevolutionary writing. They managed to find the manuscript of my book. They immediately put it to one side; it seemed suspicious to them. They were however these quite primitive types, and so when I saw them looking the other way, I took it again and hid it somewhere else. If they would have confiscated it, that would have been the end of my book, because I hadn’t yet made a copy.

They confiscated lots of trivial things, for example a children’s rubber stamp set, which children use to put together rubber letters of the alphabet. Those idiots thought that it was a corpus delicti and that I’m using it for illegal magazine activities. They then wanted to search the cellar. I went there with them, and said to myself, ‘boys, now I’m going to punish you.’

The cellar was covered in a layer of dust, and it was clear even to them that no counter-revolution had been taking place here in the recent past, so they wanted to leave again. But I said, ‘no, no, you’re being paid to perform a proper job here, I pay my taxes, so you have to search here too...’ I wasn’t really even some big fish for them, other Charter signatories, for example those who were its spokesmen, were worse off.

We Charterists basically continued to meet as friends. This circle of acquaintances, those who had been in the Committee for the History of the National Struggle for Liberation, they all signed the Charter. So we continued to meet as Charterists, but also as friends, colleagues, historians. And as well, other friends used to come over to wash our windows.

It wasn’t expensive, so we said to ourselves, why should we do it ourselves, when we can call a company, and the company always sent over some friend of ours that worked there. So that’s how Dienstbier [Czech journalist, politician, diplomat] came to visit us, Cardinal Vlk [Czech dissident, Catholic priest, now Cardinal of Prague], Dobrovsky [Czech dissident, diplomat], Jaroslav Sedivy and also Rudolf Battek.

Rudolf Battek is this enfant terrible of social democracy. He was arrested several times, and once, on 28th October, they came for him right when he was washing our windows. The day before he was supposed to have reported to the police, but he didn’t do it, and the next day he was scheduled to be at our place.

Battek was washing windows and suddenly someone rang. At first two came, but when he refused to leave with them, saying that he’d go but that first he had to finish his work, they called a third as reinforcement. Well, it was a horrible situation, him in the window, yelling, that if they took one more step he’d smash the window and jump. In the end he even broke the window.

My wife, who’s very resourceful, was also already quite agitated, but it occurred to her to pretend to have a hysterical fit. She threw herself on the ground, waved her arms about and shouted that he’d jump out of the window, that they should leave. So they got scared – one in the window, another writhing around on the ground – and they left. Police coming over to our place, that was customary.

We were also wiretapped. One Saturday, when my wife was at home alone, she was lying on the bed and heard some sort of commotion behind the wall, scratching, drilling and something being pulled... It was very obvious, because we lived next door to a school, where no one had any business being on a Saturday afternoon.

Everything was quiet, the neighbors had left Prague, there was hardly anyone out on the streets. It lasted about half an hour, and when it ended, she looked out the window and saw four men with briefcases leaving the school. It was clear that they had installed a listening device. We didn’t really care: we spoke politically openly, so they could listen to it for all we cared.

After 1989 [see Velvet Revolution] 35 a plan of our apartment that they had used during the installation of the bug came into my hands. One of our good friends, who we used to see quite often, had drawn it.

My wife worked for fifteen years at the Academy and another fifteen years with a bucket as a cleaning woman, and that at three different places. She had problems even finding any sort of work: she was refused at about forty-nine places before she even found something, thanks to some connection.

As a cleaning woman she wasn’t very well paid, she got about a third of her former salary, but it did have the advantage that she could basically do the work anytime and I could also help her out at work or take her place occasionally. The place where she worked the longest, and the time from which she has the fondest memories, was when she cleaned at the Theatrical Institute on Celetna [Street]: it had been reconstructed, a nice environment, they treated her decently...

There was a hall there, where today’s Kaspar Theater is, and in the morning the Smetana Quartet always rehearsed in that hall. So she grew to quite like it. She more or less had free time, during that time she began to do yoga; my wife is also a vegetarian. In 1987 she retired.

Each evening at home we listened to Free Europe, however Free Europe couldn’t be heard in Prague, so I learned Polish and listened to it in Polish. That wasn’t jammed. Then we also listened to the Voice of America and a bit of the BBC. My daughter used to say, ‘hey, dad, I need you to tell me for school, about this or that situation, but please, don’t tell it like Free Europe tells it, tell it like I’m supposed to tell it in school.’ My daughter very well knew what was what, what you could and couldn’t, she really did see through the regime quite early on.

My daughter wasn’t allowed to go to university, even though she had the best marks, the best recommendations, wrote the best entrance exams, but Brodova was simply on the index, so they automatically put her aside and she didn’t interest them any more. She then worked for a few years as a window dresser in various shops.

In the 1980s this one American came to Prague, my future son-in-law, Richard Hyland. Before that he had studied for some time in Germany, and had gotten a recommendation from one of my friends, that when he’d be in Prague, he should stop by and see the Brods. So he stopped by and he and Sarka fell for each other.

Richard is a Jew and it was actually through him that Sarka got to Judaism and began to be more interested in it; we didn’t raise her in it. It wasn’t until that time that I told her what had happened to me and my family during the war. Otherwise we didn’t talk about it at home.

When she asked me what that number on my arm was, I said it was a phone number. I didn’t much want to talk about it; all in all I actually don’t like talking about myself. By now I’ve hopefully managed to partially overcome that, but for a long time before I didn’t want to talk about it.

Maybe I was ashamed of it. I was ashamed that it was this time of wretchedness. Humiliation and wretchedness. I came away from the war with complexes: that I’m not an adequate and complete person, that I always have to stylize myself into the role of a full citizen. My remembrances and everything somehow mixed it up and ruined it. At that time Sarka didn’t press me very much. She only began to press me when she was grown up.

I don’t know if my wife or Mrs. Kopska said something to Sarka; the children weren’t very interested in it. I think that back then no one was all that interested in our wartime fates, interest in the Holocaust is a phenomenon of the last ten, fifteen years. During the time of socialism talking about it wasn’t very desirable. Jews were basically Zionists, and that was an extension of American imperialism. Israel, Jews, all that was very suspicious.

Not long ago I got together with my former colleagues from the Military Historical Institute, and they said that they had no idea that I had experienced something like that. And they had worked with me for several years. People knew I was a Jew, but it either didn’t interest them, or they were too embarrassed to ask about it. The embarrassment was mutual. I was embarrassed that I had been such a wretch, and they were embarrassed that they had spent the war in calm and safety. Probably, maybe, I don’t know.

So when Sarka met her Jewish man, she began to be interested in my life. She asked me to write down my reminiscences, so I did it. I don’t know what sort of an effect it had on her. In this respect Sarka is an introvert and doesn’t show her feelings. Whether afterwards she took a larger, deeper interest in the Holocaust, I can’t say. I also don’t know who else she discussed it with. None of my relatives returned, and I didn’t associate with anyone who had a similar fate.

I practically didn’t even have any Jewish friends that I could talk to about it. They lived abroad and I could renew contact with them only after the revolution. At that time I also began to associate with fellow Auschwitz prisoners living here.

Before, I basically didn’t at all know that there were some other Auschwitz prisoners living in Prague. I myself didn’t look for them, for it’s true that I only began to concern myself more deeply with these issues fifteen years ago. Back then, there really wasn’t any literature on this subject. And if there was, it was only propaganda. But several times I did take some friends to Terezin.

During Communist times, a visit to Terezin was a farce. They didn’t talk about Jews at all, all visits went to the Little Fortress, and there they would take pictures of the sign ‘Arbeit Macht Frei,’ and thought that this was the ghetto. In the Jugendheim, where we had lived, there was a police museum.

Once I went to Terezin with one American that concerned himself with the Holocaust. He wanted to know where in Terezin the jail was. We found out that it had been in some police station, so we went there to look in the cellar, where there was some policeman that was showing us everything. He however didn’t know that my companion was an American.

When he found this out, he got into a panic and forbade us to take pictures. But despite this we managed to take a few pictures. Also, once an old lady relative of mine came from Germany and wanted to see the barracks in Terezin where she had lived. I took her there, the officer that came out of the gate was at first quite accommodating, but when we were to give him our identification, and she presented her German ID, that was the end. No visit took place; they didn’t let us in at all.

My future son-in-law’s parents moved to America at the beginning of the 20th century, so the events of World War II practically passed them by. Rick didn’t really come into contact with the Holocaust until his studies in Europe. Sarka and Richard were married in 1982.

They had a Jewish wedding, my daughter converted to Judaism, as she wasn’t a halakhah Jewess. The mikveh was in the Vltava River, where Sarka ritually cleansed herself, then she had to go have a shower, to wash off the dirt that floats in the Vltava.

The wedding took place at the Old New Synagogue and at the Jewish City Hall. It was a big event, dozens of guests came, as well as her father-in-law from America, who paid for it all. Of course, the police also took an interest, but the 1980s were after all already a more relaxed time.

For Sarka, marrying Richard was a liberation. From the 1980s the rule was that when a girl married a foreigner, she could automatically leave with him. So first they moved to Germany, where they lived for a time, and after about two years they moved to America, where they live to this day.

At first they lived in Washington, where Sarka studied and graduated in design from Yale, then they lived for some time in Miami, where her husband lectured at university. Richard is a lawyer and lectures a lot, now they’re again living on the East Coast, in Philadelphia. Sarka works as a graphic designer: she designs book jackets, exhibitions, and also lectures at university. She’s very lucky in that what she’s doing is really her hobby, she does what she enjoys.

During the 1980s it was already easier to go out of the country, the regime took into account if you had some close relatives outside of the country, so about once a year we were allowed to visit her. Then they didn’t even check how often we met our daughter outside of the country, we simply got an exit visa and we could leave.

The last time we were out like this was in the summer of 1989, in West Berlin. When we were then crossing the border on the way back, they again tried to make it as unpleasant as possible, they did a through search and confiscated books that we had with us.

During the time of the Communist regime, the environment in Czechoslovakia suffered extensive damage. We lived on Masna Street, so just a little ways away from Republic Square, which apparently had the worst air in all of Prague. In the Old Town, where we lived, it was apparently unbreathable.

So my wife suffered from various breathing difficulties, but it never happened to me. They tell me that I have no feeling left, no smell and taste buds, so I’m immune to dirty air. Really, to me it never seemed that bad. Living on Masna Street also had its advantages, there’s this little square, and basically back then it was a village.

No cars drove through, people sat outside, in the evening they would gather to debate things...It was really this oasis of calm. Today it’s all bars, lots of tourists, normal shops have disappeared. Today it’s not such an idyll, cars drive through there too.

The summer of 1989 was this exciting time. Changes in Poland [see Events of 1989] 36, in Hungary had already partially taken place, then in the fall there was the exodus of Germans, that was still before the wall had fallen in Germany. Germans tried to get to the West, first through Hungary and then through us.

I remember this: I was going to the German embassy in the Lesser Quarter, and there were throngs of Germans there, their cars were parked all over Petrin and the Lesser Quarter. They were leaving them there; they were trying with all their might to get on the grounds of the German embassy.

And then our November was nearing. When the year 1989 was just beginning, there were demonstrations in Prague, called Palach’s Week. [Palach, Jan (1948-1969): a Czech student, who on 16th January 1969 immolated himself in Prague’s Wenceslaus Square in protest to the occupation of Czechoslovakia by the armies of the Warsaw Pact. Palach’s Week – a number of protest demonstrations to mark the 20th anniversary of Jan Palach’s immolation in January of 1989.

The week of protests culminated with a procession to Palach’s grave in Vsetaty. The police intervened harshly, and thousands of people never reached the goal.] The police intervened during them, so I experienced how they used water cannons against us, arrested people and beat them with truncheons.

I myself avoided any direct conflict with the police, when they started to use the water cannons, I simply always hid behind some corner, so that they wouldn’t mow me down. It certainly wasn’t anything pleasant to get hit by a stream of cold water in January. So I was some sort of participant, but didn’t suffer any harm. Then of course there were demonstrations on 28th October, that was already all approaching 17th November.

On 17th November, students announced a demonstration at Albertov, I and some friends went there as well. It was already this unusual atmosphere, but I don’t think you could characterize it as expressly revolutionary. Some slogans about truth were bandied about for example, but I don’t think it was explicitly anti-Communist yet.

We proceeded up to Vysehrad, I think that they wanted to put some flowers on Macha’s 37 grave, then, spontaneously, the procession headed back down, grew in strength and at the bottom of Vysehrad split in two. One part headed along the riverfront, it finally arrived at Narodni Avenue, and the second part, where I was, went via Vysehradska Street, where on that little square by the Botanical Gardens a cordon of policemen stopped us. There was no violence, the procession stopped and waited.

I didn’t know that the procession had another offshoot, so I said to myself, what’s the point of sitting here and looking at these cops, we skirted it via some side street, got to Charles Square and ‘see you,’ went home. I had no idea at all that something was going to happen. My wife was at that time somewhere out of Prague.

In the evening I turned on Free Europe and now they were announcing that there’s a massacre on Narodni Avenue. I realized that it’s no joke any more, that it’s something serious now. The following day the actors of the Realistic Theater announced a strike, then students joined them and the whole thing began to gain momentum, it began to be clear that it was a revolution.

A revolution doesn’t always have to be bloody, revolution means a fundamental social change. The end of one social system and the beginning of a different one. Without a doubt, in this aspect it was a revolution. The communist government fell, there were demonstrations on Wenceslaus Square...

At the beginning, the TV stations boycotted the events, but after a couple of days it was already clear to everyone that there’s something happening that can’t be suppressed, can’t be silenced. I had friends at Melantrich; its building stands to this day on Wenceslaus Square, even though Melantrich itself no longer functions.

Here on the balcony was the Civic Forum center, speeches were made here. I wasn’t on the balcony, but it was made possible for me to watch everything from its window, so I was in the thick of it. It was amazing, there were banners saying ‘End of one-party rule’ everywhere, simply a superb atmosphere.

So after waiting for so long we finally had a change. On Letna [plain] there were gatherings... We did have some fears, that it could still all come to nothing, but basically the situation had changed so much, that the Soviet Union wouldn’t have risked taking responsibility for there being some sort of bloodbath, and our leaders, well, they were also cowards, so the People’s Militias withdrew and the army stayed in its barracks.

Each day brought something new, suddenly the government wasn’t composed of just Communists. Then it came out that there were to be more Communists in it, so people protested yet again, there was simply always something going on... There was a lot of talk about how yet again we were the last. That it’s another disgrace. Poland had already fallen, Hungary had fallen, in Germany the Wall had fallen, only Czechoslovakia again looked like it was going to be the last to free itself.

Of course we told ourselves that the all-pervasive euphoria wouldn’t last long. That in the beginning people will be thrilled, but after a time, when it’s apparent that no revolution can fulfill all expectations that they put into it, and that power will be assumed not by idealists, who have plenty of ideals but no organization, but by the boys with the sharp elbows, then it became clear to me that in a few years people were going to reminisce about Communism.

Because it was cheap here, people didn’t need freedom, of what use was freedom of speech to them, when they could sit in pubs and drink cheap beer? A person who wasn’t stigmatized got out of the country on an exit visa once in a while, so people lacked practically nothing.

What they stole, they had. Stealing was permitted, because the government said: we’re pretending that we’re paying you, you’re pretending that you’re working. And so people stole, it was absolutely common, whoever didn’t steal was a fool, and so people didn’t lack much.

Communism wasn’t as bloody as it had been in the 1950s. Husak 38 was by then senile, then that idiot Jakes 39 assumed the presidency, people made fun of him... so of course, the police were still tough, they always had truncheons in their hands, but if you didn’t go to a demonstration, nothing happened to you. Thus dissatisfaction was really only among the intellectuals and people who were somehow stigmatized. It was huge luck that the CKD workers also joined the demonstrators.

The problem, however, was that there was no one to hand the government over to. I think that dissidents like Havel 40, Vondra [Sasha (Alexandr) Vondra, born 1961, geographer, signatory of Charter 77. In February 1989 sentenced to two months’ jail; from 2nd January 1989 to 6th January 1990 the spokesman of Charter 77.

After the start of his jail term, Vaclav Havel filled in his function as spokesman for 52 days], Maly [Czech dissident, Catholic priest, bishop] were really more spiritual people, who weren’t particularly interested in power. So gradually power here was assumed by people who hadn’t been any sort of fighters against Communism, but who knew how to go about things and managed to push their way in.

Now I could have returned to the Institute for Eastern European History. There was different management there now, but I was no longer used to any sort of discipline. I wanted to say and do what I wanted; I wasn’t willing to listen to orders and observe some regulations, so I said my goodbyes after a year and a half and went back into retirement. Because there was no money, that institute ceased to exist anyways; it became part of the Historical Institute of the Academy of Sciences.

My wife and I were secured materially, our daughter was abroad, so she was able to help us. I also got some compensation for my stay in the concentration camp from the Czech government and from the Germans, which in the end helped us out, when we were buying this apartment.

The building where we were living on Masna Street was undergoing reconstruction, so that’s why we had to move in the mid-1990s. We found a place to live in Bubenec. We had a lot of work with it when we were buying it, the apartment was in desolate condition, but we made it cozy and we enjoy living here. Then I could also publish what had earlier made the rounds only in samizdats, I could lecture, publish articles, I was paid for that, so it looked like we’d be financially secure; after all, we only had to look after the two of us.

When Israel was created, I didn’t really reflect on it much. For one, in 1948 I was still ill, my inability to join society still lingered, so I really only began to be aware of Israel during the time of the Slansky trials and then mainly during the Six-Day-War 41.

Back then all intellectuals, including the Communist ones, were for Israel. Every hour I listened to the news on Free Europe or the BBC, so that I’d know what the situation at the front looked like. It was a terrible situation, if Israel hadn’t attacked back then, they wouldn’t exist now. That’s precisely the question of a preventive war.

A preventive war is sometimes so necessary, a matter of life or death, that you can’t argue about it. What pacifism? War is simply sometimes necessary, morally justifiable, while pacifism is sometimes morally absolutely rotten. Pacifism was in France before the war, why should they fight, when Verdun destroyed their entire male population? While in Germany there was no pacifism, and how did it end up?

That’s an absolutely clear thing, with my whole being, my whole reason I’m on the side of Israel. I know that it’s a very complex situation, after all, even within the scope of Israel there are constructive and destructive forces. But the main thing is for Israel to be able to find a partner with whom it’s possible to negotiate, who is trustworthy.

I don’t agree with Israel trading territory for peace, I also told them that there, when I visited Israel. Because you’ll make peace with one representative, they’ll then murder him, and so much for peace. And there won’t be territory, or peace. It’s good that we’re for peace, but the others must also honestly be for peace, and they have to be stable, have influence, so they can enforce it.

So we’ll yet see, what this Mahmud Abbas [former Palestinian premier and Yasser Arafat’s successor] is going to be like. It seems that he sincerely means it, but whether he’ll also have enough influence to manage to enforce it, I don’t know. So I’m not going to give anyone any advice. They themselves have to know if they can declare peace with someone, if they can withdraw from Gaza, if they can withdraw from the West Bank, all this they have to know themselves. But it’s a risk, that’s for certain.

I was in Israel once in 1996, at that time the Jewish Community had organized a trip for people that hadn’t been to Israel yet. A relatively inexpensive trip, I paid only about ten thousand [Czech crowns] for some expenses, and spent a week there. We lived in Natania in a hotel, and traveled all over the country. I’ll tell you this: I had mixed impressions of Israel.

On the one hand I admired the huge amount of work they’d done there, the irrigation and care for the countryside, on the other hand I was disappointed by the filth that exists there. So of course, the Golan Heights made a great impression on me. Here I realized how strategically important they are. I visited Jerusalem, I saw Yad Vashem 42, the Old City, we bathed in the Dead Sea, and it really is a sea that you can’t drown in.

It was an amazing experience, that I have to admit, but was I enthused by it? For one, when it comes to nature, for me it’s still this parched land. Of course they don’t have enough water to irrigate the entire country, so there, where they can, it’s amazing, but there’s still a huge amount of desert there.

And like I said, filth, there’s litter lying along the side of the road... well, so it’s not a country where I’d want to live, nope. For one it’s hot there, and I like northern lands more than southern ones. I visited Israel in October and it was still around 30 degrees. It’s true that it’s not as intolerable as Florida. For me Florida is absolutely intolerable, but I can’t even imagine what it’s like there for example in June.

My aunt Ruzena, the wife of Jindrich Petrovsky, lived in Israel at one time, as well as her son Mario with his wife. They moved there after the invasion of Czechoslovakia in 1968, they had said to themselves that for sure it was going to be bad for Jews here, so they’re moving.

Aunt Ruzena’s daughter, my cousin Eva, was married to some doctor, so she didn’t go with them. In Israel they lived in Natania. Mario was educated as a chef, in fact he became a head chef in some hotel and they weren’t badly off. We maintained more or less only formal contact, for one what was I really supposed to write them, it wasn’t always desirable to maintain relations with Israel. Should I have written about how I’m living? That was impossible, there was censorship here, so we only wrote some formalities in the manner of where we had been on vacation, really, it was quite formal communication.

When the Communist regime in Czechoslovakia fell, they returned and managed to get back a large amount of property that had belonged to the Petrovskys. My aunt isn’t alive anymore, she died at a very advanced age, she was over ninety.

I used to go visit her often when she was here in Prague in the hospital. My cousin isn’t alive any more either, and Mario commutes with his family between Prague and Israel, because they’re still supposed to be there. We see each other, but not that often, we have different interests; we lead different lives.

Currently I’m for example keeping myself busy by lecturing at various lectures. Not that I have some sort of regular commitment or force my lectures on someone, but simply when someone wants, I do a lecture for them. For example, I’ve lectured for teachers, who were augmenting their education, I also lecture at various schools, both in Prague and outside of Prague. My one and only condition is for the people, like the students for example, to come voluntarily and have an interest in it. And it really doesn’t happen that they’d behave impolitely, not pay attention or leave early. I always try to for example connect my telling about the Jewish genocide with perhaps some stories that are dramatic, so in that way it probably engages them.

We’re practically the youngest generation that can still talk about the war from their reminiscences. Maybe there are some others, who were born during the war, perhaps in a concentration camp or ghetto, but those aren’t capable of talking about it. While I remember the past, I remember the experiences, and what’s more, I can enrich them with certain historical knowledge, compare personal experiences with general knowledge, so I think that on the whole it’s interesting.

Of course, as soon as we disappear, then only the experts will be able to talk about it. I also do lectures here at the Jewish Education Center in Prague, and I go to Terezin with students, where I tell them about it... Once one of them asked me, if lecturing about the Holocaust is still a painful thing for me. So I said, that I’m a professional, that after all, I can’t be moved by my fate during every lecture, by that I’d devalue the lecture in a major way.

You can’t do that: have a hysterical fit during a lecture. A certain professionalism prevents you from expressing your emotions. You can say it with a certain amount of passion, with a certain subjectivity, but you can’t succumb to fits, wring your hands, that can’t be done.

As I’ve already said, a book I consider to be my life’s work recently came out: it deals with relations between Czechoslovakia and the Soviet Union.

We have a granddaughter, she’s named R. and was born ten years ago. She tells me that I’m this dinosaur, that is, a person from the last, twentieth century... Although she lives in America, she speaks perfect Czech, she even writes very well, for which I admire her.

I think that many Czech children wouldn’t manage it as well. She comes to visit us several times a year. She always stays for some time, in the summer she’s here for the entire holidays. She has friends here, we go to the theater, go on trips... Now she’s going to be attending a different school, so she’s looking forward to wearing a school uniform.

R. is being brought up as a Jewess. At home they for example celebrate Sabbath, earlier they used to eat in restaurants a lot, now they’re at home a lot. When they came to visit once and Chanukkah was supposed to be celebrated, we celebrated Chanukkah. R. was veiled as it’s supposed to be.

R. says that she likes Christians, because they have Christmas, we also celebrate Christmas. I think that in my daughter’s household, Jewish customs used to be observed a lot at least earlier on, earlier on they were very Orthodox, now I don’t know, how much they still are. For sure they eat kosher, they don’t eat pork.

Once, when we were over visiting them during the time of Passover, we weren’t allowed to bring any bread or rolls into the house. We’ve been over in America to visit them two or three times, now I don’t want to go there any more, the East Coast isn’t interesting for me.

Their lifestyle is such that they’re always working and we sit there and stare at the wall. I’d for example like to go have a look at the West Coast, to California, the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone Park, but that doesn’t come into consideration. I know Philadelphia, I know New York, I know Chicago, I know Washington, so there’s nothing there that I need to see or get to know. So I prefer it when they come here, here we have time for them.

R. knows what happened during the war and is very interested in it, of course. I try to help her in this, for example I took her to the Military Historical Museum for an exhibition about Heydrich, I tell her lots of stories...She wants to know various details, she’s still got these childlike questions. She for example also claims that she’s going to have three children and that one of them is going to be named Hanus, after my brother. Not Toman, that she’s got my genes, and that that’s enough for her.

I of course agree that the Czech Republic should be part of organizations like the European Union, NATO... It’s the only road that’s possible and is also necessary and good. If the European Union lasts, everything will be fine. The problem is that the European Union isn’t a country like America, which integrated all immigrants and made them into Americans.

A European will likely never be a European: he’ll be a Frenchman, a German, an Englishman… Maybe in a few generations it’ll change, in any case it’s going to be a long road. It’s very complex, full of pitfalls and misunderstandings, but it’s necessary to set out on it. So when we were voting on entry into the European Union, we voted in favor, and if we’re going to be voting on the European Constitution, I’ll vote for it as well.

As a child of the First Republic I was raised to be a patriot. I don’t feel myself to be one any more. For me, patriotism is a relic of the 19th or the middle of the 20th century. I feel myself to be a citizen of this country; I think that a citizen is a person who should be conscious of his rights and responsibilities toward this state.

I’m glad that I live in this country, but I always get angry, when someone tells me that he’s proud of being a Czech. I think that he should be ashamed of being a Czech. It’s enough to remember all of what Czechs caused, what sort of a tradition they have, that they’re not only those fabulous Hussites, who besides were quite the bastards, and so on and on.

So I’m not proud of being Czech, but I like this country, I like this language, I like this culture. On the other hand I also know the pitfalls associated with this country and with this people. I don’t feel any patriotism, I feel responsibility. So I try to behave like a person who somehow contributes to our good name.

  • Glossary

1 Terezin/Theresienstadt: A ghetto in the Czech Republic, run by the SS. Jews were transferred from there to various extermination camps. It was used to camouflage the extermination of European Jews by the Nazis, who presented Theresienstadt as a ‘model Jewish settlement’.

Czech gendarmes served as ghetto guards, and with their help the Jews were able to maintain contact with the outside world. Although education was prohibited, regular classes were held, clandestinely. Thanks to the large number of artists, writers, and scholars in the ghetto, there was an intensive program of cultural activities.

At the end of 1943, when word spread of what was happening in the Nazi camps, the Germans decided to allow an International Red Cross investigation committee to visit Theresienstadt.

In preparation, more prisoners were deported to Auschwitz, in order to reduce congestion in the ghetto. Dummy stores, a cafe, a bank, kindergartens, a school and flower gardens were put up to deceive the committee.

2 February 1948: Communist take-over in Czechoslovakia. The ‘people’s democracy’ became one of the Soviet satellites in Eastern Europe. The state apparatus was centralized under the leadership of the Czechoslovak Communist Party (KSC). In the economy private ownership was banned and submitted to central planning. The state took control of the educational system, too. Political opposition and dissident elements were persecuted.

3 First Czechoslovak Republic (1918-1938): The First Czechoslovak Republic was created after the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy following World War I. The union of the Czech lands and Slovakia was officially proclaimed in Prague in 1918, and formally recognized by the Treaty of St. Germain in 1919.

Ruthenia was added by the Treaty of Trianon in 1920. Czechoslovakia inherited the greater part of the industries of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy and the new government carried out an extensive land reform, as a result of which the living conditions of the peasantry increasingly improved.

However, the constitution of 1920 set up a highly centralized state and failed to take into account the issue of national minorities, and thus internal political life was dominated by the struggle of national minorities (especially the Hungarians and the Germans) against Czech rule. In foreign policy Czechoslovakia kept close contacts with France and initiated the foundation of the Little Entente in 1921.

4 Anti-Jewish laws in the Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia: In March 1939, there lived in the Protectorate 92,199 inhabitants classified according to the so-called Nuremberg Laws as Jews. On 21st June 1939, Konstantin von Neurath, the Reichs protector, passed the so-called Edict Regarding Jewish Property, which put restrictions on Jewish property.

On 24th April 1940, a government edict was passed which eliminated Jews from economic activity. Similarly like previous legal changes it was based on the Nuremburg Law definitions and limited the legal standing of Jews. According to the law, Jews couldn’t perform any functions (honorary or paid) in the courts or public service and couldn’t participate at all in politics, be members of Jewish organizations and other organizations of social, cultural and economic nature.

They were completely barred from performing any independent occupation, couldn’t work as lawyers, doctors, veterinarians, notaries, defence attorneys and so on. Jewish residents could participate in public life only in the realm of religious Jewish organizations. Jews were forbidden to enter certain streets, squares, parks and other public places.

From September 1939 they were forbidden from being outside their home after 8pm. Beginning in November 1939 they couldn’t leave, even temporarily, their place of residence without special permission. Residents of Jewish extraction were barred from visiting theatres and cinemas, restaurants and cafés, swimming pools, libraries and other entertainment and sports centres.

On public transport they were limited to standing room in the last car, in trains they weren’t allowed to use dining or sleeping cars and could ride only in the lowest class, again only in the last car. They weren’t allowed entry into waiting rooms and other station facilities. The Nazis limited shopping hours for Jews to twice two hours and later only two hours per day.

They confiscated radio equipment and limited their choice of groceries. Jews weren’t allowed to keep animals at home. Jewish children were prevented from visiting German, and, from August 1940, also Czech public and private schools.

In March 1941 even so-called re-education courses organized by the Jewish Religious Community were forbidden, and from June 1942 also education in Jewish schools. To eliminate Jews from society it was important that they be easily identifiable. Beginning in March 1940, citizenship cards of Jews were marked by the letter ‘J’ (for Jude – Jew).

From 1st September 1941 Jews older than six could only go out in public if they wore a yellow six-pointed star with ‘Jude’ written on it on their clothing.

5 Hilsner Trial: In 1899 the Jew Leopold Hilsner was accused of ritual murder.

During the first trial proceedings the media provoked an anti-Jewish hysteria among the general public and in legislative bodies, as a result of which Hilsner was sentenced to death, despite the lack of any direct evidence. Both his ex officio counsel and President T. G. Masaryk tried to demythologize superstitions about the blood libel.

In 1901 Emperor Franz Josef I changed the sentence to life imprisonment but he did not allow a retrial probably out of fear of pogroms. In 1918 Hilsner was granted pardon by Emperor Charles.

6 Munich Pact: Signed by Germany, Italy, the United Kingdom and France in 1938, it allowed Germany to immediately occupy the Sudetenland (the border region of Czechoslovakia inhabited by a German minority).

The representatives of the Czechoslovak government were not invited to the Munich conference. Hungary and Poland were also allowed to seize territories:

Hungary occupied southern and eastern Slovakia and a large part of Subcarpathia, which had been under Hungarian rule before World War I, and Poland occupied Teschen (Tesin or Cieszyn), a part of Silesia, which had been an object of dispute between Poland and Czechoslovakia, each of which claimed it on ethnic grounds. Under the Munich Pact, the Czechoslovak Republic lost extensive economic and strategically important territories in the border regions (about one third of its total area).

7 Nemcova, Bozena (1820–1862): born Barbora Panklova in Vienna into the family of Johann Pankl, a nobleman’s coachman. She was significantly influenced by her upbringing at the hands of her grandmother Magdalena Novotna during the years 1825-29. In 1837 she was married to financial official Josef Nemec.

She contributed to a number of magazines. She was inspired by traditional folk stories to write seven collections of folk tales and legends and ten collections of Slovak fairy-tales and legends, which are generally a gripping fictional adaptation of fairy-tale themes.

Through her works Nemcova has to her credit the bringing together of the Czech and Slovak nations and their cultures. She is the author of travelogues and ethnographic sketches, realistic stories of the countryside (Crazy Bara, Mountain Village, Karla, The Teacher, At The Chateau and The Village Below) and the supreme novel Granny. Thanks to her rich folkloristic work and particularly her work Granny, Bozena Nemcova has taken her place among Czech national icons.

8 Spanish Civil War (1936-39): A civil war in Spain, which lasted from July 1936 to April 1939, between rebels known as Nacionales and the Spanish Republican government and its supporters. The leftist government of the Spanish Republic was besieged by nationalist forces headed by General Franco, who was backed by Nazi Germany and fascist Italy.

Though it had Spanish nationalist ideals as the central cause, the war was closely watched around the world mainly as the first major military contest between left-wing forces and the increasingly powerful and heavily armed fascists. The number of people killed in the war has been long disputed ranging between 500,000 and a million.

9 Sparta: The Sparta Praha club was founded on 16th November 1893. A memorial of the first very famous era of the club’s history are first and foremost two victories in the Central European Cup, which in the 1920s and 1930s had the same significance as today’s Champions League. Sparta, usually with Slavia, always formed the foundation of the national team and therefore its players were present during the greatest successes of the Czechoslovak and Czech teams.

10 Slavia: on 21st January 1896 at a general meeting of the Slavia Praha club a soccer union was formed. Slavia already played its first international match on 8th January 1899 against Berlin with a 0:0 result. Up to the start of WWI Slavia won the Charity Cup in the years 1906, 1920, 1911 and 1912. This very strong team won the Czechoslovak League in the years 1930, 1933, 1934 and the Central Bohemia District Cup in the years 1922, 1926, 1927, 1928, 1930 and 1932. Subsequently Slavia were league champions in 1935 and 1937 and won the Cup in the year 1935.

11 Masaryk, Tomas Garrigue (1850-1937): Czechoslovak political leader and philosopher and chief founder of the First Czechoslovak Republic. He founded the Czech People’s Party in 1900, which strove for Czech independence within the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy, for the protection of minorities and the unity of Czechs and Slovaks.

After the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy in 1918, Masaryk became the first president of Czechoslovakia. He was reelected in 1920, 1927, and 1934. Among the first acts of his government was an extensive land reform. He steered a moderate course on such sensitive issues as the status of minorities, especially the Slovaks and Germans, and the relations between the church and the state. Masaryk resigned in 1935 and Edvard Benes, his former foreign minister, succeeded him.

12 Sudetenland: Highly industrialized north-west frontier region that was transferred from the Austro-Hungarian Empire to the new state of Czechoslovakia in 1919. Together with the land a German-speaking minority of 3 million people was annexed, which became a constant source of tension both between the states of Germany, Austria and Czechoslovakia, and within Czechoslovakia.

In 1935 a nazi-type party, the Sudeten German Party financed by the German government, was set up. Following the Munich Agreement in 1938 German troops occupied the Sudetenland.

In 1945 Czechoslovakia regained the territory and pogroms started against the German and Hungarian minority. The Potsdam Agreement authorized Czechoslovakia to expel the entire German and Hungarian minority from the country.

13 Exclusion of Jews from schools in the Protectorate: The Ministry of Education of the Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia sent round a ministerial decree in 1940, which stated that from school year 1940/41 Jewish pupils were not allowed to visit Czech public and private schools and those who were already in school should be excluded. After 1942 Jews were not allowed to visit Jewish schools or courses organized by the Jewish communities either.

14 Terezin Initiative: In the year 1991 the former prisoners of various concentration camps met and decided to found the Terezin Initiative (TI), whose goal is to commemorate the fate of Protectorate (Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia) Jews, to commemorate the dead and document the history of the Terezin ghetto. Within the framework of this mission TI performs informative, documentary, educational and editorial activities. It also financially supports field trips to the Terezin Ghetto Museum for Czech schools.

15 Yellow star – Jewish star in Protectorate: On 1st September 1941 an edict was issued according to which all Jews having reached the age of six were forbidden to appear in public without the Jewish star. The Jewish star is represented by a hand-sized, six-pointed yellow star outlined in black, with the word Jude in black letters. It had to be worn in a visible place on the left side of the article of clothing.

This edict came into force on 19th September 1941. It was another step aimed at eliminating Jews from society. The idea’s author was Reinhard Heydrich himself.

16 Heydrichiade: Period of harsh reprisals against the Czech resistance movement and against the Czech nation under the German occupation (1939–45). It started in September 1941 with the appointment of R. Heydrich as Reichsprotektor of the Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia, who declared martial law and executed the representatives of the local resistance.

The Heydrichiade came to its peak after Heydrich’s assassination in May 1942. After his death, martial law was introduced until early July 1942, in the framework of which Czech patriots were executed and deported to concentration camps, and the towns of Lidice and Lezaky were annihilated. Sometimes the term Heydrichiade is used to refer to the period of martial law after Heydrich’s assassination.

17 Martial law: The Nazis reacted to Heydrich’s assassination with an immediate increase in terror, on 27th May 1942 martial law was immediately proclaimed for the entire territory of the Protectorate. Anyone who provided support for the perpetrators or only agreed with the assassination or wasn’t registered as a permanent resident with the police was shot.

All exits out of Prague were immediately closed, and posts controlling all movement out of the city were set up. Immediately after the assassination a huge wave of arrests began, and executions were performed on a massive scale.

As a warning, the names of the executed were posted every day in the newspapers and on street corners. In the night of the 27th to the 28th of May, all of Prague was subjected to a mass search whose purpose was to find the perpetrators.

18 Lodz Ghetto: It was set up in February 1940 city in the former Jewish quarter on the northern outskirts of the city. 164,000 Jews from Lodz were packed together in a 4 sq. km. area. In 1941 and 1942, 38,500 more Jews were deported to the ghetto. In November 1941, 5,000 Roma were also deported to the ghetto from Burgenland province, Austria.

The Jewish self-government, led by Mordechai Rumkowsky, sought to make the ghetto as productive as possible and to put as many inmates to work as he could. But not even this could prevent overcrowding and hunger or improve the inhuman living conditions.

As a result of epidemics, shortages of fuel and food and insufficient sanitary conditions, about 43,500 people (21% of all the residents of the ghetto) died of undernourishment, cold and illness. The others were transported to death camps; only a very small number of them survived.

19 Vedem: The magazine Vedem was put out by boys from the 1st boys’ home inTerezin (located in a former school designated L 417), which for practically all of its existence was led by the educator and teacher Valtr Eisinger, alias Prcek [Squirt]. He established the principle of self-government in the home, and named it after a Russian school for orphans, which was named ‘Respublika Skid’.

Vedem began to be published as a cultural and news magazine. In the beginning it was available to all, thanks to it being conceived as a bulletin-board magazine. Subsequently for security reasons this approach was abandoned. After each publication the magazine was passed around, and its entire contents were discussed at the home’s plenary meetings held every Friday.

Everyone who was interested could attend these meetings. Vedem was published weekly from December of 1942, and always as one single copy. The magazine’s pages are numbered consecutively and together the entire magazine has 787 pages.

The authors of the absolute majority of the contributions were the boys themselves, who ranged from 13 to 15 years old. We can, however, also find in the magazine contributions by educators and teachers. Published in Vedem were stories, critical articles, articles inspired by specific events, educational articles, poems and drawings.

Mostly the boys describe in their works the situation in the camp, state their perceptions relating to life in Terezin, but also concern themselves with the problem of the Jewish question, Jewish history, and so on. Often-used literary devices are irony (especially in commenting the overall situation in the camp), satire (mainly in poems), metaphors, the use of contrasts.

Most articles are written anonymously, or under various nicknames. Some boys, supported by the efforts for collective education that ruled in Terezin, formed an authors’ group and all used the pseudonym Akademie [Academy] for their articles. Part of the magazine Vedem was published in book form by M.R. Krizkova in collaboration with Zdenek Ornest and Jiri Kotouc under the name ‘Are The Ghetto Walls My Homeland (Je moji vlasti hradba ghett).

20 Hirsch, Fredy (1916–1944): member of the Maccabi Association, a sports club founded in the middle of the 1920s as a branch of the Maccabi Sports Club, the first Jewish sports association on the territory of Bohemia and Moravia.

Hirsch organized the teaching of sports to youth at Prague’s Hagibor, after his deportation to Terezin he continued in this activity there as well. After the reinstatements of transports to Auschwitz in 1943 and after the creation of the “family camp” there, Hirsch and other teachers organized a children’s home there as well.

They continued to teach until the Nazis murdered virtually all the members of the “family camp”, including children and teachers, in the gas chambers.

21 Gross-Rosen camp: The Gross-Rosen camp was set up in August 1940, as a branch of Sachsenhausen; the inmates were forced to work in the local granite quarry. The first transport arrived at Gross-Rosen on 2nd August 1940.

The initial labor camp acquired the status of an independent concentration camp on 1 May 1941. Gross-Rosen was significantly developed in 1944, the character of the camp also changed; numerous branches (approx. 100) were created alongside the Gross-Rosen headquarters, mostly in the area of Lower Silesia, the Sudeten Mountains and Ziemia Lubuska.

A total of approximately 125,000 inmates passed through Gross-Rosen (through the headquarters and the branches) including unregistered prisoners; some prisoners were brought to the camp only to be executed (e.g. 2,500 Soviet prisoners of war). Jews (citizens of different European countries), Poles and citizens of the former Soviet Union were among the most numerous ethnic groups in the camp. The death toll of Gross-Rosen is estimated at approximately 40,000.

22 Slansky trial: In the years 1948-1949 the Czechoslovak government together with the Soviet Union strongly supported the idea of the founding of a new state, Israel. Despite all efforts, Stalin’s politics never found fertile ground in Israel; therefore the Arab states became objects of his interest. In the first place the Communists had to allay suspicions that they had supplied the Jewish state with arms.

The Soviet leadership announced that arms shipments to Israel had been arranged by Zionists in Czechoslovakia. The times required that every Jew in Czechoslovakia be automatically considered a Zionist and cosmopolitan. In 1951 on the basis of a show trial, 14 defendants (eleven of them were Jews) with Rudolf Slansky, First Secretary of the Communist Party at the head were convicted.

Eleven of the accused got the death penalty; three were sentenced to life imprisonment. The executions were carried out on 3rd December 1952. The Communist Party later finally admitted its mistakes in carrying out the trial and all those sentenced were socially and legally rehabilitated in 1963.

23 Klement Gottwald (1896 – 1953): the first Communist president of Czechoslovakia is born on the 23rd of October, 1896 in Dedice. In the 1920’s, up until the year 1926, Klement Gottwald is a functionary of the Communist Party.

In February of 1929, during negotiations the V. Meeting of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia (KSC), Klement Gottwald, along with Guttmann, Sverma, Slansky, Kopecky and Reiman get into the party leadership. In September and October of 1938 Klement Gottwald belongs to the main representatives of the opposition to the acceptance of the Munich Agreement.

After the KSC is banned Klement Gottwald emigrates in November of 1939, that is, after Czechoslovakia’s occupation by Germany, to the Soviet Union. In December 1943 Klement Gottwald and E. Benes, the representative of the London emigrés come to an agreement on the unification of the internal and foreign anti-Nazi resistance movements.

When the Communists win the democratic elections in 1946, Klement Gottwald becomes the premier on July 2nd. On 14th June 1948, after the abdication of E. Benes, Klement Gottwald is elected to the post of Czechoslovak president.

During Gottwald’s rule, many show trials take place  at the beginning of the 1950’s, political terror is unleashed – based on the law regarding the protection of the People’s Democratic Republic No. 231/1948 Sb., over 230 death sentences are handed down, and over one hundred thousand citizens are sentenced to life or long years’ imprisonment.

For five years, people are deported to forced labor camps with no trial. Tens of thousands of “anti-state elements” pass through correctional army PTP (Technical Assistance Battalion) units. Finally Gottwald even sent eleven of his closest highly-ranked Communist functionaries, led by R. Slansky, to the gallows. Klement Gottwald dies in 1953.

24 Trotsky, Lev Davidovich (born Bronshtein) (1879-1940): Russian revolutionary, one of the leaders of the October Revolution of 1917, an outstanding figure of the communist movement and a theorist of Marxism.

Trotsky participated in the social-democratic movement from 1894 and supported the idea of the unification of Bolsheviks and Mensheviks from 1906. In 1905 he developed the idea of the ‘permanent revolution’. He was one of the leaders of the October Revolution and a founder of the Red Army. He widely applied repressive measures to support the discipline and ‘bring everything into revolutionary order’ at the front and the home front.

The intense struggle with Stalin for the leadership ended with Trotsky's defeat. In 1924 his views were declared petty-bourgeois deviation. In 1927 he was expelled from the Communist Party, and exiled to Kazakhstan, and in 1929 abroad. He lived in Turkey, Norway and then Mexico. He excoriated Stalin's regime as a bureaucratic degeneration of the proletarian power. He was murdered in Mexico by an agent of Soviet special services on Stalin’s order.

25 Tito, Josip Broz (1892-1980): President of communist Yugoslavia from 1953 until his death. He organized the Yugoslav Communist Party in 1937 and became the leader of the Yugoslav partisan movement after 1941. He liberated most of Yugoslavia with his partisans, including Belgrade, made territorial gains (Fiume and the previously Italian Istria).

In March 1945 he became the head of the new federal Yugoslav government. He nationalized industry but did not enforce the Soviet-style collective farming system. On the political plane, he oppressed and executed his political opposition.

Although Yugoslavia was closely associated with the USSR, Tito often pursued independent policies. He accepted western loans to stabilize national economy, and gradually relaxed many of the regime’s strict controls. As a result, Yugoslavia became the most liberal communist country in Europe. After Tito’s death in 1980 ethnic tensions resurfaced, bringing about the brutal breakup of the federal state in the 1990s. 

26 Khrushchev, Nikita (1894-1971): Soviet communist leader. After Stalin’s death in 1953, he became first secretary of the Central Committee, in effect the head of the Communist Party of the USSR. In 1956, during the 20th Party Congress, Khrushchev took an unprecedented step and denounced Stalin and his methods. He was deposed as premier and party head in October 1964. In 1966 he was dropped from the Party's Central Committee.

27 Benes, Edvard (1884-1948): Czechoslovak politician and president from 1935-38 and 1946-48. He was a follower of T. G. Masaryk, the first president of Czechoslovakia, and the idea of Czechoslovakism, and later Masaryk’s right-hand man. After World War I he represented Czechoslovakia at the Paris Peace Conference.

He was Foreign Minister (1918-1935) and Prime Minister (1921-1922) of the new Czechoslovak state and became president after Masaryk retired in 1935. The Czechoslovak alliance with France and the creation of the Little Entente (Czechoslovak, Romanian and Yugoslav alliance against Hungarian revisionism and the restoration of the Habsburgs) were essentially his work.

After the dismemberment of Czechoslovakia by the Munich Pact (1938) he resigned and went into exile. Returning to Prague in 1945, he was confirmed in office and was reelected president in 1946. After the communist coup in February 1948 he resigned in June on the grounds of illness, refusing to sign the new constitution.

28 Samizdat literature in Czechoslovakia: Samizdat literature: The secret publication and distribution of government-banned literature in the former Soviet block. Typically, it was typewritten on thin paper (to facilitate the production of as many carbon copies as possible) and circulated by hand, initially to a group of trusted friends, who then made further typewritten copies and distributed them clandestinely.

Material circulated in this way included fiction, poetry, memoirs, historical works, political treatises, petitions, religious tracts, and journals. The penalty for those accused of being involved in samizdat activities varied according to the political climate, from harassment to detention or severe terms of imprisonment.

In Czechoslovakia, there was a boom in Samizdat literature after 1948 and, in particular, after 1968, with the establishment of a number of Samizdat editions supervised by writers, literary critics and publicists: Petlice (editor L. Vaculik), Expedice (editor J. Lopatka), as well as, among others, Ceska expedice (Czech Expedition), Popelnice (Garbage Can) and Prazska imaginace (Prague Imagination).

29 Prague Spring: A period of democratic reforms in Czechoslovakia, from January to August 1968. Reformatory politicians were secretly elected to leading functions of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia (KSC). Josef Smrkovsky became president of the National Assembly, and Oldrich Cernik became the Prime Minister.

Connected with the reformist efforts was also an important figure on the Czechoslovak political scene, Alexander Dubcek, General Secretary of the KSC Central Committee (UV KSC). In April 1968 the UV KSC adopted the party’s Action Program, which was meant to show the new path to socialism. It promised fundamental economic and political reforms.

On 21st March 1968, at a meeting of representatives of the USSR, Hungary, Poland, Bulgaria, East Germany and Czechoslovakia in Dresden, Germany, the Czechoslovaks were notified that the course of events in their country was not to the liking of the remaining conference participants, and that they should implement appropriate measures.

In July 1968 a meeting in Warsaw took place, where the reformist efforts in Czechoslovakia were designated as “counter-revolutionary.” The invasion of the USSR and Warsaw Pact armed forces on the night of 20th August 1968, and the signing of the so-called Moscow Protocol ended the process of democratization, and the Normalization period began.

30 Svoboda, Ludvik (1895-1979): During World War II General Ludvik Svoboda commanded Czechoslovak troops under Soviet military leadership, which took part in liberating Eastern Slovakia.

After the war Svoboda became minister of defence (1945-1950) and then President of Czechoslovakia (1968-1975).

31 Dubcek, Alexander (1921-1992): Slovak and Czechoslovak politician and statesman, protagonist of the reform movement in the CSSR. In 1963 he became the General Secretary of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of Slovakia. With his succession to this function began the period of the relaxation of the Communist regime.

In 1968 he assumed the function of General Secretary of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia and opened the way for the influence of reformist elements in the Communist party and in society, which had struggled for the implementation of a democratically pluralist system, for the resolution of economic, social and societal problems by methods suitable for the times and the needs of society. Intimately connected with his name are the events that in the world received the name Prague Spring.

After the occupation of the republic by the armies of the USSR and the Warsaw Pact on 21st August 1968, he was arrested and dragged to the USSR. On the request of Czechoslovak representatives and under pressure from Czechoslovak and world public opinion, they invited him to the negotiations between Soviet and Czechoslovak representatives in Moscow. After long hesitation he also signed the so-called Moscow Protocol, which set the conditions and methods of the resolution of the situation, which basically however meant the beginning of the end of the Prague Spring.

32 Josef Smrkovsky (1911-1974): member of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia since 1933. During the German occupation, worked in the Communist resistance. In 1945 he was the deputy chairman of the Czech National Council and a leading political figure of the May Uprising in 1945. Criticized for his methods during the uprising by the Soviets as well as the leadership of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia. After the liberation is shortly the chairman of the Provincial National Committee in Bohemia (deposed on Soviet intervention).

1949-51 deputy of the Minister of Agriculture and General Director of State Farms. 1946-51 member of the National Assembly. Imprisoned 1951-55. In 1963 legally, socially and politically rehabilitated. One of the main representatives of the reformist forces in the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia during the second half of the 1960’s.

On 21st August 1968 he stood up against the Soviet military intervention in Czechoslovakia, and together with other leading reformist politicians was dragged away to the USSR, on 23rd-26th August 1968 participated in negotiations in Moscow with the leadership of the Communist Party of the Soviet Unions, and co-signed the so-called Moscow Protocol.

On 27th August 1968 he returned home and during subsequent months attempted to resist the ascension of pro-Soviet “normalization” forces. In the fall of 1969 stripped of all functions and in 1970 expelled from the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia.

33 Charter 77: A manifesto published under the title Charter 77 in January 1977 demanded the Czechoslovak government to live up to its own laws in regard to human, political, civic and cultural rights in Czechoslovakia. The document first appeared as a manifesto in a West German newspaper and was signed by more than 200 Czechoslovak citizens representing various occupations, political viewpoints, and religions.

By the mid-1980s it had been signed by 1,200 people. Within Czechoslovakia it was circulated in samizdat form. The government’s retaliation against the signers included dismissal from work, denial of educational opportunities for their children, forced exile, loss of citizenship, detention, and imprisonment. The repression of the Charter 77 continued in the 1980s, but the dissidents refused to capitulate and continued to issue reports on the government's violations of human rights.

34 Radio Free Europe: Radio station launched in 1949 at the instigation of the US government with headquarters in West Germany. The radio broadcast uncensored news and features, produced by Central and Eastern European émigrés, from Munich to countries of the Soviet block. The radio station was jammed behind the Iron Curtain, team members were constantly harassed and several people were killed in terrorist attacks by the KGB.

Radio Free Europe played a role in supporting dissident groups, inner resistance and will of freedom in the Eastern and Central European communist countries and thus it contributed to the downfall of the totalitarian regimes of the Soviet block. The headquarters of the radio have been in Prague since 1994.

35 Velvet Revolution: Also known as November Events, this term is used for the period between 17th November and 29th December 1989, which resulted in the downfall of the Czechoslovak communist regime. A non-violent political revolution in Czechoslovakia that meant the transition from Communist dictatorship to democracy.

The Velvet Revolution began with a police attack against Prague students on 17th November 1989. That same month the citizen’s democratic movement Civic Forum (OF) in Czech and Public Against Violence (VPN) in Slovakia were formed. On 10th December a government of National Reconciliation was established, which started to realize democratic reforms.

On 29th December Vaclav Havel was elected president. In June 1990 the first democratic elections since 1948 took place.

36 Events of 1989: In 1989 the communist regime in Poland finally collapsed and the process of forming a multiparty, pluralistic, democratic political system and introducing a capitalist economy began. Communist policy and the deepening economic crisis since the early 1980s had caused increasing social discontent and weariness and the radicalization of moods among Solidarity activists (Solidarity: a trade union that developed into a political party and played a key role in overthrowing communism).

On 13th December 1981 the PZPR had introduced martial law (lifted on 22nd June 1983). Growing economic difficulties, social moods and the strength of the opposition persuaded the national authorities to begin gradually liberalizing the political system. Changes in the USSR also influenced the policy of the PZPR. A series of strikes in April-May and August 1988, and demonstrations in many towns and cities forced the authorities to seek a compromise with the opposition.

After a few months of meetings and consultations the Round Table negotiations took place (6th Feb.-5th April 1989) with the participation of Solidarity activists (Lech Walesa) and the democratic opposition (Bronislaw Geremek, Jacek Kuron, Tadeusz Mazowiecki). The resolutions it passed signaled the end of the PZPR’s monopoly on power and cleared the way for the overthrow of the system.

In parliamentary elections (4th June 1989) the PZPR and its subordinate political groups suffered defeat. In fall 1989 a program of fundamental economic, social and ownership transformations was drawn up and in January 1990 the PZPR dissolved.

37 Macha, Karel Hynek (1810–1836): representative of High Romanticism, whose poetry, prose and drama express important questions of human existence. Reflections on Judaism (and human emancipation as a whole) play an important role in his work. Macha belonged to the intellectual avant-garde of the Czech national society. He studied law.

Macha died suddenly of weakening of the organism and of cholera on 6th November 1836. Macha’s works (Krivoklad, 1834) refer to a certain contemporary and social vagueness in Jewish material – Jews are seen romantically and sentimentally as beings exceptional, tragically ostracized, and internally beautiful. They are subjects of admiration as well as condolence.

38 Husak, Gustav (1913–1991): entered into politics already in the 1930s as a member of the Communist Party. Drew attention to himself in 1944, during preparations for and course of the Slovak National Uprising. After the war he filled numerous party positions, but of special importance was his chairmanship of the Executive Committee during the years 1946 to 1950. His activities in this area were aimed against the Democratic Party, the most influential force in Slovakia.

In 1951 he was arrested, convicted of bourgeois nationalism and in April 1954 sentenced to life imprisonment. Long years of imprisonment, during which he acted courageously and which didn’t end until 1960, neither broke Husak’s belief in Communism, nor his desire to excel. He used the relaxing of conditions at the beginning of 1968 for a vigorous return to political life. Because he had gained great confidence and support in Slovakia, on the wishes of Moscow he replaced Alexander Dubcek in the function of First Secretary of the Czechoslovak Communist Party.

More and more he gave way to Soviet pressure and approved mass purges in the Communist Party. When he was elected president on 29th May 1975, the situation in the country was seemingly calm. The Communist Party leaders were under the impression that given material sufficiency, people will reconcile themselves with a lack of political and intellectual freedom and a worsening environment.

In the second half of the 1980s social crises deepened, multiplied by developments in the Soviet Union. Husak had likely imagined the end of his political career differently. In December 1987 he resigned from his position as General Secretary of the Communist Party, and on 10th December 1989 as a result of the revolutionary events also abdicated from the presidency.

Symbolically, this happened on Human Rights Day, and immediately after he was forced to appoint a government of ‘national reconciliation.’ The foundering of his political career quickened his physical end. Right before his death he reconciled himself with the Catholic Church. He died on 18th February 1991 in Bratislava.

39 Milos Jakes (born 1922): Czech Communist politician, in the 1970’s one of the leading representatives of the so-called normalization in Czechoslovakia and in during the years 1987-89 the General Secretary of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia (KSC).

In 1977 Jakes becomes a member of the KSC Central Committee, from 1981 he is then a member of the presidium – in is function he is responsible for overseeing Party work in agriculture, from June of 1981 then assumes responsibility for the entire sphere of economics in Czechoslovakia.

From the second half of the 1980’s Jakes acts as an ally of the reforms of M. Gorbachev in the Soviet Union, attempts to implement (partially and unsystematically) similar reforms in Czechoslovakia. In 1987 Jakes replaces G. Husak in the function of General Secretary of the Central Committee of the KSC, his attempts at half-baked reforms while preserving the KSC’s political monopoly however end in 1989 with an absolute fiasco – after the November events in 1989 the leading role of the KSC in Czechoslovakia ends, Jakes himself is forced to leave the head of the party (November 24th) and in December of that same year (December 5th) he expelled from the party at a special congress of the KSC.

Still in December of 1989 Jakes gives up his mandate as a member of the National Assembly (having been an assemblyman since 1971) and leaves politics. In the 1990’s he is charged several times for his role during the August events of 1968, however he is never sentenced. Today Milos Jakes lives in seclusion.

40 Havel, Vaclav (1936- ): Czech dramatist, poet and politician. Havel was an active figure in the liberalization movement leading to the Prague Spring, and after the Soviet-led intervention in 1968 he became a spokesman of the civil right movement called Charter 77.

He was arrested for political reasons in 1977 and 1979. He became President of the Czech and Slovak Republic in 1989 and was President of the Czech Republic after the secession of Slovakia until January 2003.

41 Six-Day-War: (Hebrew: Milhemet Sheshet Hayamim), also known as the 1967 Arab-Israeli War, Six Days‘ War, or June War, was fought between Israel and its Arab neighbors Egypt, Jordan, and Syria.

It began when Israel launched a preemptive war on its Arab neighbors; by its end Israel controlled the Gaza Strip, the Sinai Peninsula, the West Bank, and the Golan Heights. The results of the war affect the geopolitics of the region to this day.

42 Yad Vashem: This museum, founded in 1953 in Jerusalem, honors both Holocaust martyrs and ‘the Righteous Among the Nations’, non-Jewish rescuers who have been recognized for their ‘compassion, courage and morality’.

Toman Brod

Toman Brod 
Praha 
Česká republika 
Rozhovor pořídila: Lenka Kopřivová 
Období vzniku rozhovoru: únor – říjen 2005  

Pan Toman Brod žije se svou paní v útulném a velmi vkusně zařízeném bytě nedaleko centra Prahy. Ve své pracovně, kde rozhovory vznikaly, má mnoho knih, většinou se jedná o literaturu historickou, pan Brod je totiž historik.

Při svém bádání věnoval pozornost zejména problematice československo-sovětských vztahů, československému odboji na Západě v období druhé světové války, holocaustu a druhé světové válce celkově.

Před nedávnem mu vyšla kniha, kterou on sám pokládá za své životní dílo: Osudný omyl Edvarda Beneše 1939-1948: československá cesta do sovětského područí. Pan Brod dokáže velmi zajímavě a poutavě vyprávět o svém životě.

Dělat s ním tento rozhovor bylo pro mne velkým potěšením.

  • Rodina

Své prarodiče z otcovy strany jsem nikdy nepoznal. Zemřeli dříve, než jsem se narodil, a tak všechno, co o nich vím, vím jenom z vyprávění. Můj dědeček se jmenoval Alois Brod a narodil se pravděpodobně v první polovině devatenáctého století. Žil ve vesnici, která se nachází kousek od Čáslavi, jmenuje se Vrdy-Bučice, a měl tu obchod se smíšeným zbožím. Byl to určitě velmi velký obchod, snad největší v okolí. Dostalo se tu všechno. Látky, boty, nářadí, cukrovinky, potraviny. Za obchodem byly i stáje a patřilo k němu i mnoho polí, dědeček měl hodně zaměstnanců. Vlastně všechno, co o něm vím, vím od jedné z nich, od paní Anny Kopské, která později dělala kuchařku i u mých rodičů a po válce ještě žila u mě a starala se o mou dceru. Dědeček asi nebyl moc nábožensky založený, prý si nechával nosit šunku do koupelny, aby to babička neviděla, ta totiž byla ortodoxnější. Dědeček měl sourozence, bezpečně vím, že měl bratra Josefa, jehož potomci dodnes ještě žijí, někteří tady, někteří v Americe. Paní Kopská mi taky vyprávěla, že děda sedával před domem a v neděli, když chodily děti z kostela, tak jim rozdával cukrovinky. A říkával, podívejte se, jaké to je umouněné dítě, kdyby se umylo, jak by bylo krásné.

Babička se jmenovala Marie, rozená Friedländerová. Pocházela pravděpodobně taky z Bučic nebo odněkud z Čáslavska. Byla v domácnosti a její víra byla nejspíš pevnější než ta dědečkova, vařila košer, nejedla vepřové, ale jestli chodila do synagogy, to teda nevím. Pravděpodobně taky měla nějaké sourozence, ale o těch nic nevím.

Mateřský jazyk obou dvou byla němčina, ovšem oba mluvili se svými zaměstnanci velmi dobře česky. Měli asi čtyři nebo pět dětí, byla to později velmi rozvětvená rodina, na všechny si ale nepamatuji, protože s celou řadou z nich se potom otec už nestýkal. Synové se jmenovali Arnošt, to byl můj otec, Jindřich, ten žil později v Pardubicích a měl tam továrnu na plnicí pera, často nás navštěvoval, pak Alfréd, který byl duševně nemocný a zemřel v Bohnicích. Otec měl ještě sestru, ale s tou se nestýkal, já sám jsem ji poznal až v Terezíně. Jemnovala se Hermina.

Moji prarodiče z otcovy strany zemřeli někdy ve dvacátých letech ještě před tím, než jsem se narodil. Otec potom převzal jejich obchod, nějakou dobu v něm společně s mojí matkou hospodařili, pak ho ale prodal a přestěhovali se do Prahy. Já jsem se byl ve Vrdech-Bučicích podívat po válce, a to tam ten obchod ještě byl, dokonce tam byl ještě vidět nápis Alois Brod, teď už je to samozřejmě předělané.

Můj otec se jmenoval Arnošt Brod a narodil se 28.listopadu 1878 ve Vrdech-Bučicích. Myslím, že jeho mateřským jazykem byla ještě němčina, ale mluvil bez problému česky. Až do konce svého života psal kurentem, tím ostrým německým písmem, takže i když psal český dopis, měl ostré hrany, nedělal obloučky. Z toho soudím, že chodil do německých škol, koneckonců to tehdy bylo obvyklé. Určitě měl jenom střední školu, titul neměl. S jeho náboženským založením to asi moc slavné nebylo. Kdyby ano, vedl by nás k tomu, což se ale nedělo. V armádě nikdy nebyl, nemusel narukovat  ani za první světové války a nejspíš to bylo proto, že byl válečně důležitý, protože pracoval v zásobování. Když se otec odstěhoval do Prahy, bylo to někdy v druhé polovině dvacátých let, stal se  velkoobchodníkem s obilím. Prodával a kupoval od sedláků obilí a v Praze na burze je prodával. Čas od času, asi jednou týdně, jezdil s takovou velkou nákupní taškou služebně do Čáslavi. Sedláci mu vozili vajíčka, máslo, různou zeleninu...
 
O prarodičích z matčiny strany toho také moc nevím. Dědečka [Eduard Pick] jsem ani nepoznal, zemřel dřív, než jsem se narodil, taky to bylo někdy ve dvacátých letech, babičku [Anna Picková, rod. Kern] si z dětství matně pamatuji, zemřela, když mi byly tři roky. Ve svém dětství jsem se o ně moc nezajímal, a když jsem se zajímat začal, nebyl tu už nikdo, kdo by mi o nich mohl něco říct. Vím, že otec mé matky se jmenoval Eduard Pick. Oženil se s Annou Pickovou, rozenou Kernovou, a bydleli v Ledči nad Sázavou, kde měli pilu, takže to byli takoví průmyslníci, řekněme. Pravděpodobně také mluvili německy. Měli několik děti, syny Jindřicha, Karla, Jiřího, dcery Olgu, to byla moje matka, Štefu a Annu. Synové po smrti otce pilu převzali a dále společně pokračovali v podnikání ve dřevě, podnikali v Praze a okolí a jejich pila byla, myslím, v Satalicích. Aby se snadněji integrovali do české společnosti, změnili si jméno, stali se z nich Petrovští. To bylo někdy po první světové válce.

Nejstarší bratr se jmenoval Karel. Vzal si za ženu křesťanku, to byla taková modedama. Za války zůstal v Praze, protože nějak docílil, že byl prohlášený za nemanželské dítě, nějakým podvodem dostal jiný rodný list, takže nebyl považován za žida, a po Únoru 1948 se odstěhoval do Brazílie.

Jiří Petrovský se narodil roku 1897, byl tedy o sedm let mladší než moje matka. Dvakrát byl ženatý. Se svou první ženou se nejspíš seznamil v Italii, kde byl za první světove války na frontě, byla to Italka, ale bohužel zemřela. Jeho druhá žena se jmenovala Anna a narodila se roku 1907. Z prvního manželství měl dceru Věru, která byla za války tady, nebyla brána jako židovka, takže válku přežila a zemřela po ní na leukémii. Se svou druhou manželkou, která už byla židovka, měl strýc malého synáčka Ivoška, který se narodil roku 1935. Tihle všichni byli transportováni do Lodže, kde jejich stopy na podzim 1941 končí.

Jindřich Petrovský se narodil roku 1891. Jeho manželka se jmenovala Růžena a měli spolu dvě děti, Evu a Mária. Byla to také bohatší rodina, vlastnili v Praze nějaké domy, později jsme dokonce u nich bydleli. Jindřich Petrovský válku nepřežil, ostatní z jeho rodiny ano.

Anna Ungerová-Picková se vdala a žila ve Vídni. Měla syna Ottu, který se poté, když ona ve dvacátých letech zemřela, vrátil zpět do Prahy, Na toho si velmi dobře pamatuji, stýkali jsme se často, například za námi jezdil na letní byt. Později byl také v Terezíně a Osvětimi, přežil a po válce se oženil se svou křesťanskou přítelkyní. Otto byl takový milý člověk, měl povahu velmi podobnou povaze mé matce. Zemřel v roce 1984.

Štefa Picková, matčina poslední sestra, se narodila roku 1886 a byla duševně postižená. Zemřela roku 1944 v Rize.

Má matka se jmenovala Olga Brodová, za svobodna Picková. Narodila se 29. ledna 1890 v Ledči nad Sázavou. Jejím mateřským jazykem byla myslím také němčina, ale mluvila perfektně česky, písmo měla taky zřetelné. Když mluvila, stejně jako když psala dopisy, přecházela plynule z jednoho jazyka do druhého. Obě řeči byly tenkrát naprosto běžné. Bohužel, o mládí rodičů toho moc nevím, narodil jsem se velmi pozdě a když jsem byl dítě, o takové věci jsem se nezajímal.

Nevím, kdy a kde se moji rodiče potkali, ale svatbu měli v červenci roku 1912, brali se v Bučicích, oddával je rabín. Má matka pak také pomáhala v obchodě. Ve dvacátých letech se přestěhovali do Prahy. Nebyli jsme žádní boháči, ale bydleli jsme v pěkném domě na nábřeží, řekl bych, že jsme byli taková dobře situovaná střední třída. Rodiče na děti dlouho čekali. Byli spolu už patnáct let, když se narodil v roce 1927 můj bratr Hanuš. Tehdy už vůbec nedoufali, že by mohli mít rodinu. Otec taky už chtěl jít do penze, ale když se narodily děti, musel znovu obnovit své podnikání, aby bylo z čeho domácnost živit. Myslím, že matce se podařilo otěhotnět, když byli na dovolené v Itálii v Benátkách, že tam nějak příznivě na ni působilo místní klima. Můj bratr Hanuš se tedy narodil roku 1927 a já dva roky po něm, 18. ledna 1929.

Můj otec byl člověk takového konzervativního ražení, který byl samozřejmě šťasten, že má syny, protože ve svém věku už nedoufal, že bude vůbec nějaké potomky mít. Takže byl velmi hrdý, staral se o nás, dával nám přesné příkazy, co smíme a co nesmíme dělat. Kontroloval, kdy chodíme spát, kontroloval, jak se koupeme. Pokud měl čas, velmi se o svou rodinu staral. Bohužel času měl velmi málo, v podstatě to už byl starý člověk. Když v šedesáti letech zemřel, všichni říkali, že už to byl starý pán, že už se jeho věk naplnil. To je dneska nesmysl, šedesátiletí lidé jsou v podstatě velmi činorodí, ale jak říkám, už když mu bylo padesát, chtěl jít do penze a nešel jenom proto, že jsme se mu narodili my. Já ho mám v paměti jako člověka, který se samozřejmě sice snažil si s námi nějak hrát, ale myslím, že už ve svém věku dětem moc nerozuměl.

Má matka byla povahově naprosto klidná žena, kterou nerozházelo vůbec nic. Děti mohly dovádět a křičet a ona seděla po obědě u stolu a loupala oříšky. A děti mohly zbořit dům, respektive halu, nábytek, a jí se to nedotklo. Ovšem, samozřejmě, otec byl poněkud nervózní, prudší. Když se rodiče hádali, tak hlavně německy, abychom jim nerozuměli. Ale my jsme jim potom už stejně rozuměli. Matku mám v paměti jako mírnou, laskavou ženu. Jako pubertální kluk jsem se k ní vždycky nechoval hezky, to samozřejmě je taky pravda, ale ona se pak ukázala, to už je další historie, být velmi statečnou ženou. I když nikdy nepracovala, tak v těch hrozných podmínkách Terezína, které musela zažít, se ukázala jako žena velmi adaptabilní, pracovala jako ošetřovatelka mentálně a fyzicky postižených dětí.

Má matka byla vášnivá hráčka karet. Měla spousty kamarádek, které, stejně jako ona, hrály bridž. Byla to taková společnost, která chodila k ní, nebo zase ona chodila s nimi do kaváren, protože se hrálo většinou v kavárnách. Tato společnost žen se u nás scházela  na různé čajové dýchánky, odpoledne, hovořilo se o nejrůznějších ženských záležitostech. Některá z těchto dam mluvila česky, některá německy, a plynule se přecházelo z jednoho jazyka do druhého. S některými těmito jejími přítelkyněmi, které měly děti, jsme jezdili společně na letní byt, jak se tehdy říkalo prázdninám. Je zajímavé, že to všechno byly asimilované židovské rodiny. Opravdu, naši rodinní přátelé byli zase jen židé.

Moc jsme se nestýkali se sourozenci naší matky a jejich rodinami. Věděli jsme o sobě, to ano, ale oni spíš byli taková honorace, pohybovali se v jiných společenských kruzích. Vlastnili domy, byli členy autoklubu, jezdili na koních… Naproti tomu bratr mého otce Jindřich nás navštěvoval často. Jeho manželka Berta byla také židovka, adoptovali spolu dceru. Strýc měl továrnu v Pardubicích na plnicí pera, která ovšem moc neprosperovala, a tak si vždycky chodil půjčovat peníze od mého otce. Byl to člověk velmi laskavý, kterého jsme si vždycky vážili a milovali, byl mladší než otec, tak se k nám i jinak choval. Když otec zemřel, bydleli jsme blízko sebe na Starém Městě, pravidelně jsme s ním chodili v neděli na procházky, ukazoval nám pražské pamětihodnosti. Strýc Jindřich zahynul i s tetou Bertou v Osvětimi, jejich dcera snad ale ani v koncentračním táboře nebyla a později emigrovala do Austrálie.

  • Dětství

Můj bratr Hanuš byl o dva roky starší než já, narodil se roku 1927. Povahu měl určitě lepší, poněvadž já byl vzteklé, protivné dítě, neuměl jsem prohrávat, ještě dnes, když prohraji v šachách, tak mě to mrzí, ale když jsem v té době třeba prohrál v nějakých dětských sportovních kláních, to jsem byl opravdu velmi nepříjemné dítě. Kdežto on byl rozvážný, všemožně mě uklidňoval, že je to jenom hra, a tak mě po čase zlost zase přešla. Hanuš byl, myslím si, ten přemýšlivý, vědecký typ. Tady mám jeden jeho sešit se slohovými cvičeními, které psal, když mu bylo patnáct let. Jsou to takové filosofické, esejistické úvahy. Už tehdy bylo vidět, že je člověk přemýšlivý, že se zajímá o budoucnost. Například tu píše: „O svém životě bych rád jen napsal, že jsem se narodil… ostatní data jsou mi bohužel neznáma, že nevím, kdy a kde zemru, jaké zajímavé příhody ještě zažiji. (Hanuš už moc zajímavých příhod nezažil.) Navrhoval bych, aby mi byl uložen za určitý počet let znovu tento úkol, tehdy toho budu moci napsati více, maje za sebou větší část života a tím i větší počet zajímavých zážitků.“ Už jako chlapec se zajímal o politiku a politicko-historické věci, myslím si, že v tomto ohledu byl na svůj věk dost vážný, a také v tomto ohledu dost převyšoval ostatní chlapce svými zájmy a svými vědomostmi. Potom, za války, když mu bylo šestnáct, sedmnáct let, byl snad v Terezíně zapojen do nějaké komunistické buňky.

Jinak jsme byli, myslím, s bratrem taková normální dvojice. Někdy jsme se prali jako koně, ostatně jako každí sourozenci se někdy perou nebo si dělají naschvály. Ale taky jsme samozřejmě spolu hráli ping-pong, fotbal, chodili v létě plavat, bruslili jsme, opravdu myslím, že jsme byli normální dvojice. Ani jsme se moc nemilovali, ani jsme se nenáviděli. Samozřejmě, v dětství je to jiný vztah než v dospělosti, tak možná by se ten vztah změnil. Já jsem tenkrát na Hanuše žárlil, on byl starší, silnější, a tak jsem se mu snažil vyrovnat. Měli jsme společné kamarády a tak dále.

Nedílným členem naší rodiny byla dozajista i Anna Kopská, naše kuchařka. Ančí se narodila roku 1892 ve Vrdech-Bučicích, a když jí bylo šestnáct let, nastoupila do služby k mému dědečkovi. Potom pracovala i u mých rodičů, po válce se starala o mě a o mou rodinu. Za první republiky to tak fungovalo, že každá středně situovaná rodina, jako byla i ta naše, měla vychovatelku a kuchařku. My jsme měli na naší Ančí obzvlášť štěstí. Nejenom kvůli tomu, jaká to byla vynikající kuchařka, ale i pro její nesmírnou obětavost a dobrosrdečnost, která nám velmi pomohla v době války. Paní Kopská byla vdova. Její manželství je takovou záhadou, zřejmě byla vdaná jen velmi krátce, její muž byl nějaký kočí a zemřel na tuberkulózu. Ančí o tom nikdy nemluvila. Měla ale syna Pepka, který se jí narodil asi v osmnácti, určitě ještě za Rakouska [Rakúsko-Uhorská Monarchia]. Když v polovině šedesátých let zemřel, měl něco přes padesát. Kde byl vychováván, to nevím, poprvé jsem ho viděl už jako dospělého muže po návratu z vojny. Jednou ráno k nám přišel cizí člověk, já byl zrovna doma, a najednou slyším paní Kopskou, jak se s ním vítá. Pepek se poté oženil, měl dítě a žil se svou rodinou ve Žlebech u Čáslavi, kde si postavily domek. Paní Kopská mu s tím asi finančně hodně pomohla, proto se jí moc nelíbilo, že se Pepek po několika letech rozvedl, dům nechal ženě a odešel do Prahy. Ale na dům ve Žlebech si dodnes velmi dobře pamatuji, jezdili jsme tam na prázdniny, zde jsme se dozvěděli, že zemřel otec. Před několika lety jsem se byl ve Žlebech podívat a dokonce jsem se ještě setkal s Pepkovou bývalou ženou. Tenkrát to byla mladá, krásná žena, teď vyšla stará, shrbená paní. Zajímavé bylo naše setkání po letech. Pepek v Praze pracoval v nějaké továrně a když jsem odjeli do Terezína, staral se se svou matkou o náš byt.

Z toho, co nám Ančí vařila, například nikdy nezapomenu na její borůvkové knedlíky. Ty už dnes nikdo neudělá. Byly to velké knedlíky z nejspíš tvarohového těsta, které měly velice tenkou slupku, bylo umění je udělat tak, aby se slupka neprotrhla. Další pochoutkou pro mě byla její svíčková, také naprosto jedinečná. A její vánočky, to snad dnes už ani neexistuje. Možná, že to nebyl jenom její recept, ale obecně vánočkám, jaké se vyráběly před válkou, se dnes už nic nevyrovná. Měly nepopsatelnou chuť a nepopsatelnou vůni. Když se rozlomily, těsto dělalo takové jehličky. A byly v nich rozinky a mandle a samé dobroty. Tak to byla báječná věc. Rajská omáčka! U nás se dělala rajská omáčka s rýží, ale Kája Mařík, hrdina mého dětství, jedl rajskou omáčku s knedlíkem, tak jsem požadoval, aby mi ji dělala také s kendlíkem. Její houskové knedlíky byly naprosto vynikající. Co jsem naopak moc nejedl, byla krupicová kaše. Ta mi začala chutnat až v Terezíně, pochopitelně, ale po válce už mi zase nechutnala. A tak mě má vnučka, která ji má naopak velmi ráda, při snídaní zlobí ,abych si s ní dal kaši. Také jsem nejedl ryby, neměl jsem rád ty kosti v nich, třeba o Vánocích jsem si dával místo nich  vždycky řízek. Paní Kopská dělala vynikající řízky. Samozřejmě, ne každý den jsme jedli maso, vařila se také obyčejná jídla, jako například špenát s bramborem a vajíčkem, semlbába. Bramborový salát! Ten taky teď už nikdo nedokáže, ona ho dělala s vlastnoručně vyrobenou olejovou majonézou, přidával se do něj i salám nebo šunka. A další věci, jenom dobroty. Já jsem rád okouněl v kuchyni, když Ančí něco vařila, a vždycky jsem tam něco ulízl. Třeba takové to sladké těsto, co se dalo nahmátnout prstem a jíst i syrové… Výborné mramorové bábovky dělala Ančí!

Já byl nervózní dítě, takže jsem ráno, než jsem šel do školy, moc nejedl, snad jen nějakou bílou kávu nebo čaj jsem vypil. Svačinu jsem dostal do školy a snědl jsem ji až tak někdy kolem desáté hodiny, až můj žaludek začal pracovat. Takže celá rodina jsme určitě spolu nesnídali, vždyť matka taky ještě většinou spala, když jsme odcházeli do školy. Obědvali jsme ale společně, otec, pokud byl tedy doma, matka vždycky. A to už byl určitý obřad. Jedli jsme v jídelně, která byla slavnostně prostřená, paní Kopská přinesla na stůl… Paní Kopská ale, a myslím, že ani vychovatelka, s námi nejedly, jedly v kuchyni. Byl to takový určitý odstup, který byl dodržován, dále se projevoval napříkald tím, že matka i otec paní Kopskou oslovovali Anna, ona je milostpaní a pane. Vykali si. My jsme Ančí tykali a byla to pro nás Ančí.

Otec prakticky doma nebyl, takže hlavou domácnosti byla matka. Matka nikdy nevařila, to se pro dobře situovanou ženu nehodilo, ale chodila třeba nakupovat.  Nákupy obstarávala sama, taky to nebyl žádný problém, nenosila žádné rance, třeba jen v obchodě vybrala zboží, zaplatila a oni to pak donesli do bytu. Nakonec, přímo v domě jsme měli lahůdkáře, kde se dalo nakoupit. Matka také pečovala o finance, vedla účetnictví. 

Naše rodina byla do velké míry asimilovaná. Prakticky jsme vůbec nic o nějakém židovství nevěděli. Byl jsem sice obřezaný od dětství, ale to je tak všechno. Synagogu jsem za celou první republiku 1 nenavštívil, o židovství jsem se dozvěděl teprve v osmatřicátém roce, když začala různá protižidovská opatření 2 a kdy už byl rozdíl mezi křesťany a židy. Rodiče snad proto, že měli své zkušenosti z hilsneriády 3, nám říkali: radši se hlas spíš k národu českému, to budeš v určité ochraně, ale žid vždycky bude mít potíže. Asi proto. Já nevím, já jsem s nimi o tom nikdy nemluvil, neměl jsem na to čas, protože všichni zahynuli dřív, než jsem nabral rozum.

Praha mého dětství, to bylo idylické město. Tehdy sice už v Praze jezdila auta, ale co to bylo, přejelo několik aut. Za mě jezdili ještě koně! Pamatuji si pivovarské koně, uhlířské koně, poštovní koně, Praha vlastně byla taková vesnice, kde se dalo normálně chodit po ulici a nebyl žádný problém ji přejít, i když už tehdy se říkalo, že Praha je zahlcená, ale to kdyby viděli, jak vypadá dneska... My jsme bydleli na Palackého nábřeží, to je mezi Palackého a Jiráskovým mostem, dnes je na tom nábřeží Tančící dům. Měli jsme krásný pětipokojový byt ve druhém patře takového měšťanského domu z konce devatenáctého století, který tam ještě dneska stojí.V našem bytě byl dětský pokoj, pak po pravé straně byla kuchyně, po levé straně ložnice rodičů, dále jídelna, takzvaný panský pokoj, kde se přijímali hosti, a poslední pokoj byla kancelář, kde měl své sídlo můj otec, vyřizoval zde své obchodní záležitosti. Náš byt měl krásný balkón s výhledem na Vltavu a na Hradčany. Prostě byl to byt krásný, přívětivý, vlídný, na tehdejší dobu i velmi dobře zařízený. Sice ne nijak přepychově, ale přeci jen velmi dobře, pohodlně.

Já a bratr jsme měli pokoj společně. Zde měl každý svou postel, naše vychovatelka spala v pokoji vedle nás. Zde jsme si hráli, měli své hračky, četli jsme si… Jinak jsme po bytě moc nechodili. Do jídelny, do koupelny to ano, samozřejmě, do panského pokoje jenom, když tam byla nějaká návštěva, ale jinak jsme pobývali v našem pokoji, kde bylo teplo a kde byl náš svět.

Když jsem měl čas, a času jsem užíval dost hojně, stál jsem u okna a pozoroval život na Vltavě. Pluly tam ještě vory, ale také už i parníky. Na dohled jsem měl dva přístavy, jeden byl hned pod našimi okny, druhý u Jiráskova mostu. A taková moje dětská zábava byla parníky pozorovat, vždycky jsem doufal, že parník, který tam přijede, zakotví u toho mého přístavu. V zimě Vltava zamrzala, bylo na ní kluziště a my jsme tam chodili bruslit, taky jsme po ní chodili na procházky, jezdili jsme třeba na sáňkách až k Vyšehradu. No a pak samozřejmě byl sníh, v zimě bylo v Praze plno sněhu, Praha byla každou zimu zasněžená a byl to opravdu sníh, ne bláto, jako to je dneska. Takže to byla taky určitá romance, určitá idylka. Jinak Praha, poutě, no to byla obrovská záležitost tehdy, tenkrát byly ještě takové ty české poutě. Bylo jich v Praze víc, ale pro mě byly hlavní dvě. Konaly se na Karlově náměstí dvakrát do roka, jednou vánoční pouť, jednou josefská pouť. Byly tu všelijaké atrakce, kolotoče a kouzelníci a polomuž a položena, zvířata, nějaké opičky, střelnice no a samozřejmě všelijaké dobroty, zejména to, co jsme měli z domu přísně zakázáno. Nesměli jsme například jíst špekáčky, kdyby otec viděl, jak je jíme, tak by ho ranila mrtvice, ale to byla naše největší pochoutka, koupit si tam za padesát halířů toho buřta. Nějaké kapesné jsme dostávali, vždycky, když přišel někdo známý, hlavně strýček Jindřich půjčit si od otce peníze, tak když je dostal, nějakou tu korunu nám dal. Koruna představovala tenkrát obrovské bohatství, tehdy třeba pět halířů stál takový gumový had, který se dal žvýkat, a deset halířů nějaký bonbón, a padesát halířů stál ten buřtík, to jsme ani nevěděli, co s takovou korunou dělat, za co ji vydat. Nebo taková tu lepená vata, hnusná, to všechno byly naše pochoutky. Kolem parku, co je na Karlově náměstí, stály boudy s atrakcemi a nálada byla ohromná, všude hrála hudba, byly tam svíčky a voněly františky… Taky mi moc chutnaly pečené kaštany, venku vždycky stály báby, které měly takové lokomobily, kulaté pece s komínem, ze kterých se kouřilo, uvnitř na otočném roštu se pekly kaštany a báby je prodávaly za korunu do sáčku. Kaštany si teď koupím snad jen když jedu do Vídně, tam asi mají ještě ty staré receptury, jinak ne.

A taky mi chutnala šlehačka a zmrzlina, to jsem mohl jíst třeba k snídani, k obědu i k večeři. Nesměli jsme ale chodit jen tak k nějakému stánku, to otec prvně schválil nějakého cukráře a pak jsme u něj mohli nakupovat. Zmrzlina byla za padesát halířů do kornoutku. Milovali jsme ovoce, melouny, mandarinky, pomeranče, banány, to všechno bylo tenkrát samozřejmě k dostání. Nebyli jsme ale nějaká rozmařilá rodina. Sice jsme byli dobře situovaní, to ano, peněz určitě nechybělo, ale že by se rozhazovaly, to teda ne. Když jsme dostali padesát halířů na pouť, byli jsme šťastni. Naše vychovatelka určitě musela vyúčtovat každou korunu, kterou za nás zaplatila. Peníze tedy byly vzácné, taky jsme k nim měli úctu, vždyť jsme je prakticky do ruky nedostali. Všecko, co jsem potřebovali, nám někdo koupil, tak snad jedině když přijel strýček, dostali jsme nějakou korunu, ale jinak ne.

Byl jsem vášnivý sběratel vojáčků, tehdy byly v módě takoví ti sádroví vojáčci, měl jsem jich celou armádu. Jeden byl v hračkářství za dvě, za tři koruny, tak když jsem si šetřil, vydělal nějakou tu korunu, mohl jsem si za to v hračkářství koupit vojáčka. Vojáčci taky byli ten nejlepší dárek, jaký jsem mohl dostat.

Jak bylo ostatně tehdy zvykem, i v naší rodině jsme měli vychovatelku. Tehdy to bylo tak zařízené, že se děti daly na starost vychovatelce a ta pečovala o jejich dobré chování, vodila je do školy a vodila je ze školy, chodila s nimi na hřiště a na vycházky. Vychovatelek jsme měli několik, ne každá u nás vydržela, a taky ne s každou jsme vydrželi my. Všechny byly křesťanky, říkali jsme jim slečno, tak už ani nevím, jak se všechny jmenovaly. Ta první se vdala a proto odešla. Dál jsme měli takovou zdatnou paní, jmenovala se Krajcová, byla hodně sportovně založená. Také odešla, rodiče s ní nebyli spokojeni. A pak jsme měli jednu, to už jsme byli větší chlapci, takoví devítiletí, desítiletí, a ta byla Němka. Snažila se nás naučit německy, což jsme my ovšem odmítali, protože němčina byla řečí našeho nepřítele, styděli jsme se za to, když na nás německy mluvila, zakazovali jsme jí, aby nás před kamarády, německy oslovovala. Myslím, že tahle vychovatelka odešla, když byl Mnichov 4. S vychovatelkami jsme chodili na procházky, do divadel, hráli jsme různé hry… No rozuměli jsme si celkem, hlavně když na nás nemluvily před chlapci německy. Měli jsme asi pět vychovatelek, ale tyto služby skončily v devětatřicátém roce poté, co zemřel otec. Už na to nebyly peníze, matka udržovala menší domácnost, také jsme se rozloučili s tím krásným bytem.

Velmi pěkně se o nás starala i Ančí Kopská. Nejen, že uvařila, upekla, co jsme chtěli, ale třeba jsem k ní mohl přijít, zaklepat a říct: Heleď, já bych chtěl, kdybys byla tak hodná, abys mi přečetla kousek z Boženy Němcové. Tak Ančí šla, když měla čas, a přečetla mi ho. Jestli ona sama nějak více četla, když měla volno, to nevím. Vlastně si skoro vůbec nepamatuji, co dělala, když měla volno. Já jsem do kuchyně chodil tak za jídlem, jinak jsem byl v dětském pokoji. Štrikovala, to ano, hodně, možná šla někdy do kina, ale jinak nevím.

Naše škola byla v Pštrossově ulici, v budově, kde byla v roce 1890 založena Minerva Elišky Krásnohorské, první české gymnázium, kde mohly studovat dívky. Za nás zde už ovšem byla chlapecká škola. Děti se tenkrát totiž vychovávaly odděleně, školy nebyly koedukační, jako je tomu teď. A i v jiném ohledu byla tehdejší škola naprosto odlišná od té současné. Zaprvé tam vládla naprosto přirozená a dodržovaná autorita a kázeň, byl tam takový pořádek, že si to dnešní děti ani nedovedou představit. Mám dojem, že dnešní učitelé jsou spíše krotitelé, než aby byli vychovatelé. Tehdy co řekl učitel, to platilo. Pan učitel to řekl, tak já to musím takhle udělat. Samozřejmě, že tehdy už byly i ženy učitelky. Myslím ale, že to všechno byly ženy svobodné, že nesměly být vdané. Prostě neměly mít jiné povinnosti, aby jim jejich vlastní děti nezaneprázdňovaly výuku.

Ve škole mě bavilo třeba kreslení nebo nějaké slohové cvičení. Myslím, že mě škola bavila jako taková. Byla to povinnost, kterou jsem tak nějak chápal. Samozřejmě, že jsem byl rád, když někdy odpadla, jako každé dítě je rádo, ale že by pro mě byl nějaký šok chodit do školy, to rozhodně ne. Naopak jsme se po prázdninách vždycky těšili, že se zase do ní vrátíme, že tam zas budou kluci, se kterými jsme se bavili minulý rok, že třeba přijdou nějací noví… Učitelé nás oslovovali příjmením. Jakmile jsem přišel v první třídě do školy, tak jsem byl Brod a když někoho pojmenoval pan učitel křestním jménem, bylo to vyznamenání. To byl miláček, tomu mohl potom říct Jarouši nebo Karlíčku, ale jinak to neexistovalo… A my jsme dotyčnému samozřejmě záviděli. Školu jsme měli sice rádi, ale taky jsme rádi byli nemocní. Jednak právě proto, že jsme do školy nemuseli, ale také proto, že matka, vychovatelka a Ančí nám poskytovaly velmi vzácnou péči.

Vzpomínám si, že byl jakýsi rozdíl mezi lépe a hůře situovanými chlapci, to ano, ovšem nebylo to v tom, že bychom se spolu nekamarádili, že bychom spolu nehráli fotbal, když se však slavily narozeniny, vždycky jsme se scházeli spíše s ostatními z takové té střední vrstvy. Takže určitý třídní aspekt tu byl. Na druhou stranu učitel nám říkal: heleďte se, tady máme nějaké chudé děti, tak přineste třeba, kdo můžete, na Vánoce šaty nebo boty, které nepotřebujete, hračky, které nepotřebujete, a rozdáme to těm chudším dětem. Nebo taky vím, že když odešel otec nějakého chlapce do Španělska bojovat za španělskou republiku 5, tak učitel řekl: tady tenhleten chlapec teď nemá otce, tak když jste z takzvaných lepších rodin, tak si ho vždycky jednou týdně vezměte domů na oběd. Tak vím, že k nám chodil jeden chlapec někdy na oběd. Jak říkám, když uměl hrát fotbal, tak byl prostě náš kamarád, a na to, jestli byl chudý nebo bohatý, se nebral žádný ohled.

A samozřejmě, že jsme byli také velcí sportovci, ohromně jsme se zajímali o fotbal, teda aspoň já a můj bratr. Aktivně fotbal jsme taky hráli, ale spíš nadšeně než dobře, fandili jsme Spartě [16. listopadu 1893 byl založen klub Sparta Praha. Památkou na první velmi slavné období klubové historie jsou předveším dvě výhry ve Středoevropském poháru, který měl ve dvacátých a třicátých let obdobný význam, jako dnes Liga mistrů. Sparta povětšinou spolu se Slavií vždy tvořila základ národního týmu a její hráči proto nechyběli u největších úspěchů československé i české reprezentace – pozn. red.] a Slávii [dne 21. ledna 1896 na Valné hromadě klubu Slavie Praha se ustavuje odbor footbalový. První mezinárodní zápas hraje Slavia již na Letné dne 8. ledna 1899 proti Berlínu s výsledkem 0:0. Do vypuknutí I. světové války je nutné zaznamenat, že Slavia vyhrála Pohár dobročinnosti - Charity Cup v letech 1906, 1910, 1911 a 1912. Toto velmi silné mužstvo vyhrává československou ligu v letech 1930, 1933, 1934 a Pohár středočeské župy v letech 1922, 1926, 1927, 1928, 1930 a 1932. V následném období vyhrává Slavia ligu v letech 1935 a 1937 a Pohár v roce 1935 – pozn. red.], sledovali jsme jejich výsledky, a to byla událost, když na mistrovství světa v třicátém čtvrtém roce (1934) v Itálii se naši fotbalisté dostali až do finále [rok 1934 přináší československému fotbalu veliký úspěch na mistrovství světa v Itálii, kde ČSR ve finále prohrává s domácími 2:1 – pozn. red.], kde prohráli, ovšem to nebylo moc regulérní, pak byli v Praze vítáni jako hrdinové, přijeli v otevřeném autokaru a všichni je zasypávali květinami, taky jsem byl u toho. Fotbalisté té doby nebyli gladiátoři, milionoví otroci, kteří se nechávají prodávat za miliony tam a zase zpátky, byli to lidé, kteří hráli skutečně pro prestiž a s nadšením, pro lásku k věci. S vlastenectvím. Pro ně byla opravdu hrdost reprezentovat Československo na mezinárodním poli. Vlastenectví tehdy nebyla fráze, byl to skutečně hluboký cit.

Já jsem byl Sparťan, Hanuš fandil Slávii. Dokonce otec, ještě než zemřel, koupil bratrovi slavistický a mě sparťanský dres. Znal jsem celou sestavu Sparty, měl jsem ji navěšenou nad postýlkou a vždycky v pondělí ke mně přišel pan učitel Pokorný, to byl takový starší pán s brejličkama, a řekl: Brode, jak jste dopadli v neděli? Tak jsem hlásil: pane učiteli, prosím, vyhráli jsme. My, my jako. Tak vy jste vyhráli? Tak to je ohromná zpráva. No a já mu referoval, jak jsme teda vyhráli.

Také jsme hodně četli. S bratrem jsme se prali o knížky. Četli jsme samozřejmě mayovky [Karl May], Robinsona, Tarzana, Káju Maříka, všechny foglarovky… já hltal knížky. A prali jsme se, kdo tu knížku dřív přečte. Knihy jsme dostávali na narozeniny a na Vánoce, to není jako dneska, že pokud dítě něco chce, tak to hned dostane.

Tehdy se kupovaly dárky jenom na Vánoce a na narozeniny. Později jsem si je mohl koupit i z vydělaných peněz. Má matka také četla hodně. Otec, jak říkám, se moc doma nezdržoval, a když přišel domů, já jsem třeba už spal. Děti nechodily spát tak pozdě jako dneska v jedenáct hodin. V osm hodin byl konec a šlo se do postele. Matka nám taky třeba dávala číst noviny.

V létě jsme jezdili na letní byt. Pokud si pamatuji, tak nejdříve to bylo jenom kolem Prahy, když jsem byl malé dítě, jezdili jsme třeba do Řevnic. První taková větší prázdninová akce byly Doksy, Máchovo jezero, pak to byla několik let Libverda, to je u Liberce, kam jsme jezdili asi tři roky, ale protože to bylo v pohraničí, kde nebylo až tak příjemné ve třicátých letech pobývat, tak poslední prázdniny jsme strávili v třicátém osmém roce v  Malé Skále u Turnova.

Vždycky jsme tam jezdili tak na dva měsíce, my dva, matka, kuchařka, vychovatelka. Otec míval práci, takže tam nebyl stabilně, přijel, když měl čas, a pak zase odjel do Prahy. Mimo nás tam byly i rodiny další, tak tři, čtyři se vždycky našly. Byli to židé. Někteří z nich byli příbuzní, někteří byli vzdálenější příbuzní, se kterými se matka víc kamarádila než se svými vlastními. Byly to ženy, které s ní hrály bridž a které zase měly děti, tak s těmi jsme trávili prázdniny, znali jsme se od dětství. Trávili jsme pospolu krásné, klidné, bezpečné chvíle.

Myslím, že třikrát ročně, na Vánoce, na pololetní prázdniny a na Velikonoce, jsme jezdili na hory. Otec říkal: jste bledí, vy jste takové prostě ty městské děti, musíte mít alespoň jednu za čas horský vzduch, musíte na lyže. Tak jsme jezdili na hory.

Do Špindlerova Mlýna a do Harrachova, vždycky do stejného hotelu, ještě dneska tam stojí. No, sice jsem žádný slavný lyžař nebyl, ale bylo to fajn. Jezdili jsme z kopce, do kopce se chodilo pěšky, tenkrát ještě nebyly vleky, a ty kopce také spíš byly loučky, ne sjezdovky, na ty bych se neodvážil.

Člověk jel, zastavil se o nějaký plot a zase šel nahoru. Jinak jsme prakticky po republice moc necestovali, do zahraničí taky ne. Se školou jsme chodili na takové jednodenní výlety…

Víte, my jsme byli vychováváni jako českoslovenští vlastenci. Byla to doba takového toho čerstvého republikánského vlastenectví, republika byla nová a my jsme byli nesmírně hrdí na to, že máme svého prezidenta Masaryka 6, že to je člověk světově vážený a oblíbený a zpívali jsme o něm písničku:

Tatíčku starý náš,
šedivou hlavu máš,
dokáď bude tvoje hlava,
bude dobrá naše správa.

Je to nějaká lidová píseň, ale my jsme ji vztahovali samozřejmě na prezidenta. Náš ředitel byl bývalý legionář. Vždycky nás vodil dolů do tělocvičny a tam nám promítal obrázky, záběry z legií, život legionářů ve vagónech, na Sibiři a medvídky, které přiváželi panu prezidentovi. Každý osmadvacátý říjen jsme chodili slavit, ve škole byla veliká slavnost, potom jsme šli k Emauzím, kde byl a teď zase je obnoven Mařatkův pomník padlým pražským legionářům. Nevím, jestli byl i nějaký proslov, ale každopádně celá škola se tam sešla a slavila svátek. Velkým svátkem byl také sedmý březen, kdy měl narozeniny prezident Masaryk. Celá Praha byla ozdobená, byly vyvěšovány vlajky, každý obchod měl obraz prezidenta, vše bylo naprosto přirozené a naprosto spontánní, všichni Masaryka obdivovali a všichni byli rádi, že to tak je. Nic nebylo předepisováno. Samozřejmě, že z  republiky byli nadšeni hlavně Češi, že pro ostatní národnosti to nebylo až tak slavné, ale my, Češi, jsme byli hrdí na to, že máme republiku a že máme svého prezidenta.

V roce třicet sedm zemřel prezident Masaryk. Viděl jsem jeho pohřeb, otec nám tehdy zajistil místa v oknech paláce Dunaj, to je na Národní třídě, a tam jsme sledovali průvod, který šel pražskými ulicemi, podrobnosti si už nepamatuji, ale na ten dojem ano.

Tak to byla doba první republiky. Mysleli jsme, že je to naprosto zabezpečená, spolehlivá existence, samozřejmě, že v třicátých letech už pronikaly zprávy o tom, že je válka v Habeši, válka ve Španělsku. Na nás děti to doléhalo, už tehdy jsme četly noviny a zajímaly jsme se o tyto události, takže jsme cítily, že tady nějaké ohrožení je, ale jinak tím naše dětství dotčeno nebylo. Dál jsme hráli fotbal, dál jsme hráli na zloděje a na četníky, jen už to bylo s vědomím, že se tu schylují nějaké mraky. Pro mě to bylo ještě horší v tom smyslu, že mraky se schylovaly i nad naší rodinou, otec zemřel shodou okolností 28. září 1938, 30. září byla podepsána mnichovská dohoda 4. Takže pro mě byla katastrofa státní a rodinná vlastně totožná. Tím skončilo moje bezstarostné dětství.

Začali jsme vnímat, že situace houstne. V polovině září třicet osm (1938) jsme dva židovští chlapci, Jiří Pick a Toman Brod, už ne ve škole v Pštrossově ulici, která byla zrušena, ale ve Štěpánské, kam jsme přešli, tak tedy my dva jsme uspořádali mezi kluky sbírku na obranu státu a vybrali jsme přes dvě stě korun, což byla na tu dobu obrovská částka. Dali jsme je učiteli a učitel byl velmi dojat z naší iniciativy, která byla samozřejmě zbytečná, ale byl to projev vlastenectví, opravdu jsme cítili, že žijeme s touto republikou a že její konec bude znamenat neštěstí

Na podzim třicátého osmého roku (1938) byl otec asi měsíc v nemocnici. Už předtím byl nemocný, jezdíval do lázní se léčit. Jeho stav se ale zhoršil a musel být operován, asi to bylo kvůli prostatě nebo něčemu takovému. Ovšem nespolupracoval moc s lékaři, a myslím, že zemřel právě kvůli tomu. Bál se života, bál se Hitlera. Byl pochován na židovském hřbitově 30. září. Pohřbu jsem se já ani bratr nezúčastnil, byli jsme tenkrát mimo Prahu, ve Žlebech. Krátce po otci zemřel i jeho bratr Alois, také to bylo na podzim osmatřicátého roku.

Po jeho smrti jsme se museli přestěhovat z bytu na nábřeží, ne, že by nás vyhodili, ale prostě už nebyly peníze na to udržovat tak velký byt. Nastěhovali jsme se do bytu, který byl ve Veletržní ulici. Uprázdnil se, protože jeho původní majitelé, němečtí židé, spáchali po Mnichovu 4 sebevraždu, skočili z okna. Naše kuchařka šla s námi, ale vychovatelku už jsme potom neměli. Začal jsem chodit do školy do Holešovic, byla to česká škola. Zase jsme si chodili hrát na Letnou, Letná tenkrát byla ještě takový divoký západ, nebyla to ještě ta krásná plocha jako dnes, park ani  Stalinův pomník tam ještě nebyl, prostě divočina, kde jsme si hráli na kovboje a fotbal.

Před válkou jsem se prakticky nikdy s antisemitismem nesetkal. Za celou dobu, co jsem chodil do školy, jsem neslyšel slovo žid, nějakou antisemitskou poznámku. My jsme byli čeští chlapci a hráli jsme společně fotbal a prali jsme se společně a nevím, co všechno. Chodili jsme na výlety společně a jestli někdo byl žid, to se tehdy nerozeznávalo. Samozřejmě, někdo jiný má jiné zkušenosti, jiné zážitky, ale já se opravdu až do války s žádným antisemitismem nesetkal. Jednou vlastně ano, ale to byla hloupost, u nás v domě, ještě na tom Palackého nábřeží, bydlel jakýsi národně demokratický poslanec, jmenoval se Branžovský, advokát, který inklinoval k té nejkrajnější pravici. Jednou napsal na naše dveře židé ven, nebo něco takového. Já jsem to nechápal, bral jsem to, že nějaký kluk načmáral nějaké blbosti, ale otec z toho byl velmi rozčílený. Samozřejmě se neví, jestli to napsal opravdu on, ale podezírali ho. Branžovský se potom ještě nějak angažoval v Národním sjednocení [Politická strana Národní sjednocení (NS) byla založená v roce 1934 a řídí se krédem: „Cizí nechceme, svoje nedáme.“ – pozn. red.]. Tehdy, koncem třicátých let, to byl asi první antisemitský projev, který se ovšem netýkal mne, nýbrž mého otce, celé naší rodiny. Za války to už byla situace jiná, i po  Mnichově už to bylo jiné, už jsme viděli, že se k něčemu schyluje, že zábor Sudet 7 není legrace, i když jako děti jsme to chápaly jen povrchně, o nějakém antisemitismu ale můžu mluvit jen z projevů oficiálních, mezi dětmi absolutně nic takového nebylo.

  • Za války

Byt ve Veletržní třídě jsme měli ještě pod vlastním jménem, ale dlouho jsme tam nebyli, strýc Jindřich Petrovský nás přemluvil, abychom se nastěhovali do „jeho“ domu v dnešní ulici Obránců míru. Jenomže odtud nás za několik měsíců Němci vyhodili.

Němci totiž tehdy chodili a vyhlíželi si židovské byty, no a byt, který se jim líbil, zabrali. Tak si vzpomínám, že jednoho dne k nám přišla nějaká Němka v kožichu, začala si ho prohlížet a říkala ja, schön, schön, schön, to bylo znamení, že se jí líbí, a tak jsme jej museli opustit a přestěhovat se na Staré Město, kam byli soustřeďováni židé z Prahy, kteří postupně museli opouštět své vlastní byty.

Bydleli jsme ve společném bytě s dalšími dvěma rodinami. Ale protože naše kuchařka byla křesťanka, tak si na své jméno pronajala dvoupokojový byt v Masné ulici, a my vlastně s ní žili tam. Do Kozí ulice na Staré město jsme chodili jen přespat. Celý dům v Masné věděl, že je tam židovská rodina, ale nikdo nás neudal. Asi to byla zvláštnost, nebo ne zrovna zvláštnost, určitě to nebylo běžné, ale bylo to tak.

Protože protižidovská opatření 2 přibývala a my, děti, jsme si třeba už nemohly chodit hrát na normální hřiště, stal se naším hřištěm starý židovský hřbitov. Byl otevřený, byly tu lavičky, staří lidé tam seděli a děti se honily mezi náhrobky.

Hrály jsme nejrůznější hry, navazovaly jsme první kontakty s druhým pohlavím, tehdy nám bylo třináct let. Já jsem se vlastně začal zajímat o děvčata už dřív, ale bylo to takové čisté a naprosto nevinné, byla to určitá koedukace, určité nové poznání. Navazovaly se i první takzvané lásky, které netrvaly dlouho, maximálně několik měsíců, do jara až léta čtyřicet dva (1942).

Dokud jsme ještě mohli, snažili jsme se někam jezdit. V létě čtyřicátého roku jsme se dozvěděli, že někde v Jablonném nad Orlicí přijímal jeden pán židovské děti a mládež, ale i  křesťanské děti a mládež, na letní byt. Byl to majitel jedné staré továrny, kterou k tomuto účelu poskytl. Samozřejmě, že to bylo tajné, protože tehdy už židé nesměli chodit na žádné společné tábory, ale on si to ještě dovolil a díky němu jsme strávili hezké dva měsíce v  družné společnosti ostatních mladých lidí.

Chodili jsme na procházky, hráli jsme nějaké hry, myslím, že jsme pořád ještě o válce nic moc nevěděli.Válka byla daleko, bombardování nebylo, jídlo se dostávalo sice na lístky, ale hlad jsme neměli. Zpočátku se mi stýskalo, bylo to poprvé, co jsem byl na tak dlouho od matky pryč, ale za dva, za tři dny jsem si zvyknul a pak se mi tam moc líbilo. No tak to bylo to Jablonné, moje poslední prázdniny.

Opatření proti židům se víc a víc stupňovala. Nejdřív jsme nesměli chodit do restaurací, do divadla, do biografu, byla omezena doba nákupu, nemohli jsme vlastnit rádia, telefony, zabavovaly se šperky, nesmělo se po osmé hodině chodit ven, nesmělo se chodit na náměstí, do parku, k Vltavě, nesmělo se kupovat různé zboží… To už jsem samozřejmě cítil…

V létě čtyřicátého roku mě vyloučili ze školy 8, potom už jsem se pohyboval jenom mezi židovskými chlapci a děvčaty. Vzniklo takové ghetto, které nám nedovolilo proniknout ven, nikdo se s námi už moc nechtěl a ani nesměl stýkat. Když k nám chodili nějací křesťané na návštěvu, tak to bylo tajné. Oni nechtěli riskovat a my je zase nechtěli ohrožovat.

Když jsme nemohli navštěvovat veřejné školy s nežidovskými dětmi, začala se organizovat výuka po domácnostech, teda pokud ještě židé nějakou domácnost vůbec měli. Židovští učitelé nás učili soukromě určité předměty. Ve skupině nás bylo asi osm, deset dětí, chlapců a děvčat dohromady.

Nepamatuji se, že bychom se předtím znali, prostě jsme se seznámili a byli jsme kamarádi. Asi půl, tři čtvrtě roku jsme chodili do takových kroužků, pak začaly ve dvaačtyřicátém roce odcházet transporty a tak se uvolnila židovská škola v Jáchymově ulici, to je tam, co dnes sídlí Terezínská iniciativa 9. Asi dva měsíce na jaře čtyřicet dva jsem pak chodil do této židovské školy. Učilo se normálně to, co jsme se měli v tom věku učit. Až tady jsem začal chodit na židovské náboženství.

Dokud byla možnost, jezdili jsme na kole, měli jsme takovou skupinu asi deseti mladých židovských lidí a jezdili jsme třeba na výlet do Roztok nebo na Zbraslav, do Štěchovic. Mládež se snažila nějak využívat volného času a trávit ho společně. Ale bylo to  jenom dokud se nenosily hvězdy 10, pak už bylo zle.

Když se musela začít nosit hvězda, byl to pro mě opravdu šok. Protože to všechno, ta všechna jiná opatření se mě tak striktně nedotýkala. Já jsem chodil do biografu stejně. Sice tam byl nápis Juden nicht zugänglich [Židům nepřístupný – pozn. red.], ale mě to nevadilo, mne si nikdo nevšiml, tak jsem chodil na představení dál.

Do divadla jsem nechodil, to je pravda. Po osmi večer, když bylo třeba léto a bylo hezky, tak jsem toho taky moc nedbal, pořád ještě jsem chodil s klukama ven. Ale když se začala nosit hvězda 10, tak to jsem si poprvé uvědomil, že jsem něco, co nepatří do společnosti, a to jsem oplakal. Ač to byla hloupost v podstatě, přece jen se mě toto opatření dotklo ze všech nejvíc.

Matka mě tehdy zavedla k zubaři, potřeboval jsem spravit zuby, a řekla mu, jak jsem reagoval na tuhletu událost, to bylo v září čtyřicet jedna. Byl to takový mladý doktor a řekl mi: chlapče, víš, já si myslím, že budeme mít ještě mnohem víc horších a vážnějších důvodů k tomu, abychom plakali, než je tohle to.

Tak jsem se snažil svou hvězdu nějak zakrýt, dát si přes ni třeba tašku nebo tak něco, bylo to pro mě opravdu hrozné s ní chodit. Samozřejmě, že tohle zakrývání bylo trestné, byli udavači, kteří na to dávali pozor. Vycházelo mnoho antisemitských časopisů, které vydávali Češi, jeden z nich se jmenoval Arijský boj.

Psalo se v něm třeba, že žid Winternitz si schovává hvězdu nebo že byla viděna židovka Rudi Roubíčková po osmé hodině venku, jak se baví s bílým židem, bílý žid bylo označení pro filosemity, křesťany, kteří se bavili s židy. Árijský boj byl takový denunciační plátek, který byl velmi nebezpečný, mohl člověku přinést udání, trest, kriminál, dokonce koncentrační tábor.

Hodně si ho chodili kupovat i židé, samozřejmě dokud ještě nenosili hvězdu, i já jsem si ho kupoval, no, měli jsme v tom takovou masochistickou zábavu. My děti jsme si pak podle něj kreslily židovské karikatury, Roosvellta, Roosvellt byl Rosenfeld a to byl žid a Churchill byl taky žid a Stalin byl taky žid, všichni byli židi. Masaryk byl žid samozřejmě. Spíš jsme z toho měli takovou legraci.

Situace se ale víc a víc přiostřovala. Už nebyla ani možnost chodit mimo Prahu, žid nesměl opustit své bydliště. Nesmělo se jezdit vlakem, nesmělo se jezdit v tramvajích nebo třeba jenom v zadních vagónech, později už vůbec ne. Omezení byla pořád horší a horší, ale pořád ještě to byl život, kdy si člověk mohl lehnou do své vlastní postele, najíst se třeba ve slušném prostředí a mít ještě slušné jídlo.

V Terezíně 11 to zase bylo něco úplně jiného. I když ani ten Terezín nebyl to nejhorší. Hrůza má své dimenze. Když mám někde přednášku, tak říkám, že když někdo žil za války v Londýně nebo v New Yorku a představoval si, že je v okupované Praze, zděsil se, jak je možné žít pod takovouhle hitlerovskou diktaturou.

A když někdo žil v Praze, tak zase byl šťastný, že může žít v Praze a dělal všechno možné, aby nemusel do Terezína. A Terezín byla zase další etapa, další dimenze hrůzy. A pochopitelně Terezín, když jsme se dostali do Osvětimi, viděli jsme, že to zase žádná hrůza nebyla, že tam ve vyhlazovacím táboře teprve byla ta hrůza, a pak ještě dál a dál. Hrůza je relativní pojem, může sestupovat do velkých hloubek, do velkých nížin, než dosáhne svého dna, pak už se stupňovat nedá.

Někteří naši známí ještě, když byl čas, emigrovali, ale z rodiny republiku neopustil nikdo. Všichni ti bratři Petrovští tady zůstali, poněvadž zde měli majetek, nemohli si vzít na záda své baráky a své továrny a své statky, řekli si, my to přežijeme. Přece neopustíme svůj nemovitý majetek, který tu máme, svou pilu, sice už nám nepatří, ale musíme nad ní pořád ještě nějak bdít. Karel, který měl tu křesťanskou manželku, nějakým způsobem kolaboroval s Němci nebo možná ona kolaborovala, takže ti byli jaksi chráněni, a proto tady zůstali. Zůstali i ostatní a to až do hořkého konce, kdy už nebylo úniku.

To je taková židovská vlastnost, nikdo si nepředstavoval, že bude nejhůř. My to nějak přežijeme. Nesmíme chodit do kaváren, tak budeme hrát karty doma. Nesmíme chodit do divadla, to přežijeme. Po osmé hodině nesmíme chodit ven, tak nikam nepůjdeme. Pořád to ještě nebylo nebezpečné. Byla to taková salámová taktika to, co dělali Němci. Oni to neřekli najednou, tak si na to lidé zvykali.

To byla taková mentalita, jsme sice utlačovaní, druhořadí, ale pořád ještě to je k životu. Jestliže nám nedovolí nakupovat v obchodech, máme ještě pořád nějaké peníze, tak budeme nakupovat na černém trhu. Jídlo se pořád ještě dalo sehnat, byli tu křesťané, kteří nám pomáhali, pochopitelně, naše kuchařka, ta zase měla své známé, pak tu byli známí ještě z toho domu na nábřeží…

Chodila k nám jedna křesťanka, slečna Jánská. Vždycky jsme se na ni těšili, nejen kvůli zprávám, které nám nosila, ale i kvůli tomu, že na počest její návštěvy paní Kopská pokaždé připravila chlebíčky a vynikající bramborový salát. Bylo to tedy vždy takové příjemné posezení. Slečna Jánská poslouchala rozhlas, měla styky s odbojem, nosila nám tajné časopisy, zejména Boj.

Pokaždé jsme se na ni vrhli a chtěli vědět, co hlásí Londýn, pořád jsme čekali, že bude konec války. V čtyřicátém roce jsme čekali, že to nemůže dlouho vydržet. Velmi jsme věřili takovým těm „zaručeným zprávám jedna paní povídala“, v Terezíně se to nazývalo Latrinengeschichte.

A tak to bylo až do konce války, pořád jsme čekali, že to už dlouho nemůže vydržet. Je to jak říká spisovatel Milan Kundera ve svém románu Žert: optimismus je opium pro lid. Ale to fungovalo naprosto přesně, představte si, že by židům řekli, že to bude trvat šest let a že půjdou kamsi na východ do vyhlazovacích táborů. To by mnozí spáchali sebevraždu. Sebevražd i tak bylo v té době hodně.

V květnu čtyřicet dva byl spáchán atentát na Heydricha 12. Bylo vyhlášeno stanné právo 13, ale my jsme to pořád ještě brali na lehkou váhu. Matka tenkrát odešla spát do Kozí ulice, kde ale bylo těsno, bylo to tam zahmyzené, byla tam špína, tolik lidí nemohlo dodržovat žádnou hygienu, a proto jsme my dva hoši zůstali i tuto noc, po vyhlášení stanného práva, v bytě v Masné ulici.

Hitlerovci ovšem dělali prohlídky po všech domech, jestli tam není někdo neohlášený, pročesávali Prahu, hledali atentátníky. Dovedete si představit, co by se stalo, kdyby tam přišli? Všichni bychom byli mrtví, kompletně by nás jako ilegální a nedovolené obyvatele zastřelili.

Matka tenkrát s námi nebyla, a samozřejmě se od známých dozvěděla, co se v noci děje, že chodí esesácké a policejní hlídky, tak nemohla dospat. Nemohla ani jít v noci ven, protože bylo stanné právo 13. Tak až v šest hodin ráno celá vyděšená přiběhla, jestli jsme v pořádku. My jsme o ničem nevěděli a naštěstí jsme v pořádku byli, sem německé kontroly nepřišly. To jsou takové náhody… náhoda byla, že jsme se zachránili. A náhody hrály v mém dalším životě velikou roli.

Z našeho příbuzenstva byli nejprve deportováni strýcové Jindřich a Jiří Petrovští s rodinou, se všemi dětmi šli ještě v jedenačtyřicátém roce do Lodže 14. Má rodina, matka, bratr a já, šla do Terezína sedmadvacátého července čtyřicet dva. Sbalili jsme si kufry a s nimi jsme byli shromažďováni na takzvaném novém výstavišti, kde se jinak o veletrzích předváděly traktory nebo něco takového. Teď se tu shromažďovali židé před transportem. Zůstali jsme tu asi tři dny, bylo to dost tristní, spali jsme jenom na nějakých rohožkách a pak, ráno, nás odvedli na nádraží do Buben, odkud jsme odjeli ještě normálními osobními vagóny pod dozorem četníků ne do Terezína, ale do Bohušovic, protože tehdy ještě nebyla vlečka do ghetta. Náš transport se jmenoval AAu a jelo v něm asi tisíc lidí, zachránilo se necelých osm procent. Z Bohušovic jsme museli jít asi tři kilometry pěšky i se zavazadly, které nám ovšem záhy sebrali a my se s nimi už nesetkali. Ocitl jsem se v Terezíně.

Všechny svazky se zde vytvářely znovu.  Lidé bydleli v různých kasárnách, v jiných domech, v jiných ubytovnách, bylo nutno utvořit nové kontakty. Strýc Jindřich Brod z Pardubic, který se tam dostal přibližně ve stejné době jako my, tam dělal kuchaře.

Dokonce nám, když měl možnost, vždycky dal jakýsi přídavek k jídlu. Matka bydlela v Hamburských kasárnách, já jsem bydlel ve škole L417 a bratr bydlel v jiném domově pro chlapce. Matka i přesto, že v životě nikdy nebyla zaměstnaná, tak se na místní prostředí velmi dobře adaptovala, byla to velmi statečná žena, která netrpěla nějakým zoufalstvím, naopak nám dodávala jakousi jistotu. Dělala v Terezíně ošetřovatelku pro mentálně a fyzicky postižené děti a chovala se dobře. Téměř každé poledne jsme za ní chodili.

Dopoledne jsme mívali vyučování. A o čem se vykládalo? Většinou se vykládalo o jídle, je to zajímavé, že v koncentračních táborech se vykládá vždycky o jídle. Tam se ve fantaziích vaří, vyměňují se recepty, mluví se o tom, až nás osvobodí, co si prvně uděláme k obědu.

Samozřejmě, že jsme se učili matematiku, učili jsme se dějepis, náboženství, pochopitelně. V poledne bylo volno, šli jsme tedy za matkou, odpoledne možná byla nějaká ta menší pracovní povinnost, starali jsme se o zahrádku, nebo jsme hráli fotbal, četlo se a podobně.

Taky jsme někdy šli na nějaké to představení, na Brundibára nebo na něco jiného. I my jsme pod taktovkou vychovatelů nacvičovali různý vlastní program, přidala se k nám děvčata a společně jsme dávali dohromady nějaké recitační pořady, divadla, koncerty, hráli různé hry…

Život v Terezíně nebyl pro děti taková katastrofa. Samozřejmě jsme věděli, že jsme ohraničení hradbami, že to je určitá nesvoboda, ale jako bezprostřední hrůzu jsme to nevnímali. Ty menší děti třeba ano, no, každý to zažil jinak, každý ma jiné zážitky. Jak říkám, pro mě Terezín taková hrůza nebyl.

Taky to snad bylo dáno i tím, že nám bylo třináct, čtrnáct let a že jsme začínali žít jako mladí lidé, začínali jsme poznávat lásky, tvořili jsme si představy o tom, jaké to bude, až budeme moci zase žít jako normální lidé, bylo to jaro našeho života. Pokud jsme nebyli naprosto zničení jako v Osvětimi nebo v dalších táborech, pokud jsme byli zdraví a silní, jakžtakž najezení, opravdu jakžtakž, mysleli jsme i na věci příjemné.

Hlavní vychovatel v našem chlapeckém domově se jmenoval Otta Klein. Byl to takový mladý chlapec, kterému bylo něco přes dvacet. Vlastně všichni vychovatelé byli mladí lidé ve věku asi osmnáct až pětadvacet let. A pochopitelně každý z nich měl vlastní představy, jak své oddělení v domově vést.

Například na jedničce Eisinger, ten byl starší, komunista, vedl tuto třídu levicově. Vydávali časopis Vedem, který byl levicový. Naopak Franta Mayer na sedmičce byl sionista, a tak děti byly vedeny sionisticky. Náš vychovatel, Arno Ehrlich, byl český žid, který nás vedl v takovém pseudoskautském duchu, měli jsme různé zásady, lovili jsme po vzoru Foglara bobříky, učili jsme se morseovku a tak dále.

Náš časopis se myslím jmenoval Bobřík, ale bohužel se nedochoval. Nevím proč, nakonec celá řada chlapců zůstala v Terezíně a mohli ho zachránit, každopádně se tak nestalo. Pamatuji si, že jsem pro něj kreslil nějaké obálky, každý časopis byl pod nějakým heslem. Jedno heslo například bylo pomáhej bližnímu, skaut pomáhá bližnímu.

A tak jsem jako symbol nakreslil, jak si dva lidé podávají ruce. Obálka byla symbolická, měla uvozovat smysl celého čísla. Arno Ehrlich byl díky své bezprostřednosti a svým způsobům chování mezi chlapci velmi vážený a oblíbený. Také šel do Osvětimi, ale zachránil se. Nyní se jmenuje Arna Erban a žije v Americe.

Pátek večer byl erev šabat. Každý domov musel nastoupit a Otta Klein chodil a kontroloval, jestli je všude čisto, jestli jsou čisté boty, jestli nejsou v esšálku nějaké zbytky jídla… Tohle všechno se bodovalo, a když někdo měl nepořádek, tak byly všem strženy body. Dotyčný se následně stal předmětem opovržení, protože zkazil hodnocení celému domovu.

Ony totiž domovy mezi sebou soutěžily o to, kdo bude mít za měsíc nejlepší známky. Víte, vychovatelé se pořád snažili nějakým způsobem nás oddělit od toho všedního života ghetta, od všední hrůzy toho vězení, snažili se nám dát v mezích možností jakési normální podmínky života.

Soutěžili jsme ve fotbale, každý domov měl své vlastní fotbalové družstvo. Hrálo se  na jakémsi hřišti, zbudovaném na „šancích“ na hradbách. Samozřejmě, že i dospělí hráli fotbal na dvoře kasáren a byla to vždycky veliká událost. Kolem se shromáždilo několik set, snad tisíc lidí a fandili jednotlivým družstvům.

I jiné věci nám pomáhaly odpoutat se od vězeňské reality. Uvedení Prodané nevěsty byl obrovský zážitek, sice to bylo koncertní představení, bez krojů, ale účinkovali ohromní pěvci, němečtí pěvci se naučili svůj part česky a zpívali to takovým ohromným stylem, že se pak říkalo, že toto představení by obstálo i na prknech Národního divadla.

Hrálo se v tělocvičně školy a ten dojem z toho, když se zpívalo dobrá věc se podařila, věrná láska zvítězila… to všichni plakali dojetím. Byla to obrovská duchovní pomoc.

Dostávali jsme balíčky, které nám posílala někdejší naše kuchařka paní Kopská, a to zase byla ohromná pomoc fyzická. Nebyla to tak jednoduchá věc, pošty balíčky čím dál tím míň přijímaly a třeba pokud za přepážkou seděl nějaký antisemitský úředník, tak se díval skrz prsty ve stylu co vy, křesťané, máte co židům posílat balíčky? Další věc byla taky potraviny sehnat, což vůbec nebylo jednoduché, protože se potraviny přidělovaly na lístky. Bylo to drahé. Kde na to Ančí vzala peníze, to nevím, snad jí tady matka nechala nějakou hotovost.

Dokonce se jí podařilo poslat nám balíčky i do Auschwitzu, když zde asi dvakrát ta možnost byla. Byly adresovány do Arbeitslager bei Neuberun, nikdo nevěděl, kde to je. Tak asi jeden nebo dva balíčky od ní jsme dosatali dokonce i v Osvětimi. Pak to přestalo. Balíky bývaly asi pětikilové, tří až pětikilové. Posílal se samozřejmě chleba, nějaká mouku, krupice… prostě základní potraviny.

Možná taky nějaký tvrdý salám, byla to obrovská pomoc. V Terezíně ještě nebyl tak strašný hlad, jako byl později v Osvětimi, alespoň ne pro nás, pro děti, protože my jsme například dostávaly balíčky, které chodily ostatním vězňům, ale byly už nedoručitelné, protože dotyční buď zemřeli nebo odjeli na Východ. Židovská samospráva pak dávala tyto balíčky k dispozici hlavně dětem.

Zcela jiná byla situace starých lidí, kteří v Terezíně umírali hrozivým způsobem. Přes třicet tisíc lidí zde zemřelo, většinou šlo o staré lidi a to hlavně z Německa. Mladí němečtí židé byli ze svých domovů posláni na Východ hned, staří lidé byli posláni do „lázní“.

Bylo jim totiž řečeno, že si můžou koupit pobyt v lázních Terezín, zaplatí-li si ho, dají hitlerovcům svůj byt, všechen svůj majetek prodají a výměnou za to se odstěhují do terezínských lázní, kde budou mít ubytování s výhledem na jezero, na park. Oni potom do Terezína přijeli a viděli, v jakých podmínkách tu mají žít.

V domech, které byly napěchovány od sklepa až po půdu, za naprosto zoufalé hygieny. Pokud záchody vůbec byly, tak byly suché, voda tekla vždycky jen chvilku, hmyz tam byl, špína, nemoci… A tak ti, kteří přijeli z ještě jakéhosi civilizovaného prostředí do takovýchto otřesných podmínek, velmi často umírali. Ti se zde měli nejhůř.

My děti jsme je samozřejmě potkávaly. Ne že bychom chodily za nimi do jejich domů, to bylo něco tak odporného, že jsme se štítily, a také to bylo nebezpečné, byly tu štěnice, blechy, no hrozné to bylo, hrozné podmínky. Tito lidé nedostávali žádný přídavek, balíčky z Německa jim už neměl kdo posílat, a tak stáli u výdejen jídla a žebrali o polévku.

My děti jsme polévku nejedly, poněvadž to nebyla polévka, to byla nějaká teplá voda vyvařená z nějakých brambor nebo z čeho, tak jsme jim ji dávaly, zas až takový hlad jsme neměly. Taky si vzpomínám, že vybírali shnilé brambory… žili prostě v zoufalství, ale to byl paradox Terezína. Paradox Terezína byl, že na jedné straně umírali lidé hladem, zoufalstvím, špínou,  nemocemi, beznadějí, ale na druhé straně se hrál fotbal, byly koncerty, zpívaly se opery, Brundibár, Prodaná nevěsta a tak dále.

V Terezíně se zpívalo, v Terezíně se umíralo. A to je třeba dát dohromady. Například přednášky. Byly tu desítky a desítky přednášek. To víte, že ti esesáci na to nedbali, esesáci si řekli: hlavně že nepřipravujete nějaké povstání, že dodržujete pořádek, který jsme vám přikázali. Židovská samospráva na to měla dbát, no a pokud se nebude dít nějaká nepravost, tak si dělejte, co chcete. Možná, že ne. Spíše to bylo trpěné, než aby to někdo povoloval. Ale pořádaly se ohromné přednášky. Historické přednášky, filosofické přednášky, právnické přednášky, hudební věda, židovské dějiny… Já říkám, Terezín byl v tomto ohledu nejsvobodnější město v celém protektorátu nebo v celé říši. Protože nemohlo být pomyšlení, že by to, co se zde pořádalo, ať už to byly přednášky, jinotajné skeče, divadelní představení, že by to někdy bylo uvedeno v protektorátu. Takže v tomto duchovním ohledu to bylo nejsvobodnější místo. Další paradox.

Nezapomeňte, že židé, kteří se tu sešli, byli vlastně elita z celé Evropy, ať už šlo o německé, rakouské nebo české židy, o malíře, spisovatele, hudebníky, lékaře, vědce… prostě to byla intelektuální elita která, když měla možnost, tak se tu projevovala. A zase je třeba tohle dát do správných dimenzí. Samozřejmě, že Terezín byl jednak místo, kde se umíralo, to byl jeden z jeho cílů, ale také to bylo místo, kde se čekalo na další transport. Pro mladé lidi nebyl život v Terezíně to nejhroznější. Oni se během doby dokázali adaptovat na zdejší poměry, dokázali si trošku získat styky v kuchyni nebo s četníky, chodili na práci do zahrad mimo ghetto, takže si přinášeli nějakou zeleninu, dostávali balíčky…

Čím déle vězeň žije v nějakých podmínkách, a to se netýká jenom Terezína, to je v každé věznici, tím lépe si dovede opatřit styky, dovede se zorientovat, kde je možno získat jaké výhody, který dozorce je sympatičtější, s kterým se dá mluvit, který pomůže nebo jak se dá něco propašovat. Lidé to dokázali, a ti, kterým se podařilo udržet se v Terezíně až do podzimu čtyřiačtyřicet, kdy byly zastaveny transporty na Východ, si zachránili život. Zatímco lidé, kteří se transportům nevyhnuli, z devadesáti devíti procent zemřeli.

V Osvětimi, v Treblince, v Majdankách, v Minsku, nebo kam všude byli posíláni. Největší hrůza Terezína pro mladé lidi bylo očekávání dalších transportů na Východ. V Terezíně se každý snažil transportům vyhnout a bylo to opravdu životní štěstí, když se to někomu podařilo. Kolik lidí přežilo z těch východních transportů? A zejména nepřežily děti. Pokud děti zůstaly v Terezíně, měly šanci přežít. Ale děti, které byly poslány na Východ, prakticky žádnou šanci neměly.

Z Terezína jsme odjížděli prosincovým transportem 1943 do Osvětimi. Dostali jsme předvolání na takových ústřižcích papíru, a tak jsme se dostavili ráno se zbytky našich zavazadel, přijely dobytčí vagóny, naházeli nám do nich nějaká ta zavazadla, asi šedesát, sedmdesát lidí nás nacpali do jednoho vagónu, dovnitř strčili ještě veliký kýbl s čajem a druhý  veliký kýbl jako WC a vagón neprodyšně uzavřeli. To jsem si říkal, to snad ani není možné, jak tady můžeme dýchat, jak tady vůbec můžeme tu cestu přežít? Byl to jeden z těch vůbec nejhorších zážitků. Ten šok, kdy nás z toho přece jen civilizovaného prostředí Terezína vezli najednou jako dobytek… Čaj byl brzo vylitý nebo vypitý a záchod přetékal, protože prostě pro šedesát lidí je jeden kýbl málo. Špína, smrad, samozřejmě už tam bylo několik mrtvol, nedalo se dýchat, hrozná žízeň… Dva dny jsme jeli, dvě noci a den nebo tak nějak, byl to zážitek naprosto nepředstavitelný. Žízeň byla strašná. Za ty dva dny a dvě noci jsme už byli na pokraji šílenství z žízně, a co teprve když sem někteří jeli z Řecka nebo z Kréty sedm nebo dvanáct dní bez vody, to už samozřejmě většina z nich byla mrtvá a ostatní by za trošku čaje dali všechno.

Byli jsme ten prosincový transport, co šel do rodinného tábora a nebyl hned zlikvidován. Druhý podobný šel v květnu čtyřicet čtyři, ten taky nebyl hned zlikvidován. Zatímco první transport, který šel v září a šel taky do rodinného tábora, byl kompletně zničen osmého března 1944. Ještě před svou smrtí museli vězňové napsat pohlednice s antidatováním pětadvacátého března 1944. Na základě nich pak v Terezíně nevěřili, že jsou všichni mrtví. Já si myslím, že tomu nechtěli uvěřit, že to byla taková snaha radši o tom nemluvit, radši nešířit paniku. Podle mého názoru to bylo obrovské morální selhání, v létě čtyřicet čtyři šly do Terezína zprávy ještě z jiných pramenů, takže už tam věděli, že jsou v Osvětimi plynové komory. A oni, vedoucí samosprávy, ty terezínské lidi nechali, dokonce je přemlouvali, aby nastoupili do transportů. Proč neřekli ne, my už transporty organizovat nebudeme? Teď ať si to třeba Němci dělají sami. My dáváme ruce pryč. Židovská rada starších se toho neodvážila. Jaké bylo organizování těch deportačních transportů? Němci třeba o někom řekli, že tento pojede transportem, protože kouřil nebo něco ukradl, ale ostatní měli být vybráni. Dovedete si představit, co se potom dělo? Když byl někdo do transportu zařazen, snažil se takzvaně se vyreklamovat. To znamená, že šel za představiteli do rady straších a řekl: já jsem nepostradatelný, já nechci jít, mě z toho vyřaďte. No ale na jeho místo musel přijít někdo jiný. Chápete to hamletovské dilema? To byl boj o život. Jeden se zachránil, ale druhý byl poslán na smrt. Ve třiačtyřicátém roce mohli říct, že neví, co se tam děje, že si myslí, že jde o pracovní transporty a tak je vypravovali. Ještě o Osvětimi, o Treblince nic nevěděli,  sice si mysleli, že tam není nic dobrého, ale nevěděli ani o ničem vyloženě strašlivém. Jistota nebyla, bylo jenom tušení. Ale v době, kdy už židovská rada věděla, co se tam děje, a přesto dál transporty vypravovala, to už pokládám za selhání. Aspoň měli říct tak my už ne. S námi už nepočítejte. My už to organizovat nebudeme. A to šlo o dny. Osmadvacátého října 1944 byl vypraven poslední transport a za několik dní byl konec, hitlerovci vyhodili plynové komory do povětří. Kdo se do toho transportu nedostal, ten si zachránil život. Já nemám právo soudit, samozřejmě, protože vím, že ty podmínky… ale víte, když někdo vezme nějakou funkci, tak to není jenom výsada. Když příjme někdo nějakou funkci, tak musí vědět, že v okamžiku, když nastane nějaká krize, nějaké strašné dilema, tak musí být připraven nasadit svůj život. A to se netýká jenom tohoto případu. No tak co by se stalo? Možná, že by se něco stalo, já nevím, třeba by zavedli nějaký jiný režim, ale byla by to aspoň akce nějakého odporu.

V Auschwitzu nás vyložili, ještě nebyla vlečka do Birkenau. Byla tam strašná zima, byl mrazivý prosincový den, kolem psi a štěkot a esesáci a vězňové v těch pruhovaných šatech, předtím jsme neviděli vězně v pruhovaných šatech, v Terezíně jsme chodili normálně v civilních oděvu, žádné vězeňské šaty tam nebyly. I vlasy jsme měli normálně, jenom hvězdu jsme nosili. Všichni byli v Terezíně slušně oblečení. Teď jsme viděli ty pruhované postavy. Naložili nás na nákladní vozy a vezli nás, z Osvětimi to je asi tři kilometry. Ještě v Terezíně nám staří vězňové říkali: když uvidíte ostnaté dráty nabité elektřinou a u nich budou tabulky s výstražnými nápisy, že je tam vysoké napětí, tak jste v koncentračním táboře. A tohle přesně jsme z  vozu viděli. Tak jsem si řekl, koncentrační tábor, to byl prostě pojem. Nikdo samozřejmě přesně nevěděl, co to znamená, ale ty pověsti a chýry, co se zde děje, už jenom toto vzbuzovalo hrůzu. O vyhlazovacích táborech jsme nevěděli, ale nám stačil jenom ten koncentrační tábor. Teď jsem říkal, tak teď jsem z toho relativně civilizovaného prostředí Terezína najednou v koncentračním táboře. Hodili nás na nějaké pryčny, naštěstí neudělali selekci, odvedli nás do sprchy, kde nás svlékli, oholili, vytetovali čísla a dali nám nějaké vězeňské hadry, už byly vydezinfikované a byly hrozné, ještě dřeváky a vypadali jsme jak strašidla. Postupem doby se nám podařilo vyměnit tyto hadry za nějaké lepší. Ten první dojem byl tak strašlivý, ta hrůza těch baráků, asi to byly dřív stáje snad pro koně, a v nich teď bylo nacpáno šest set nebo sedm set lidí. K tomu samozřejmě surovost funkcionářů, esesáků… Prostě celý šok z  příjezdu do Osvětimi byl hrozný. Víte, to jsou ty různé dimenze hrůzy.  Teď jsme se opět dostali do nižšího stupně, do vyšší kategorie hrůzy.

Naštěstí jsem se dostal do dětského bloku, který vedl Fredy Hirsch 15, tak to zase byla jistá úleva. Přes den jsme v dětském bloku mohli být a tak se nějakým způsobem oddělit od toho hrozného života venku, nemuseli jsme se pořád dívat na esesáky a na celou hrůzu toho ostnatého tábora. Byla to ohromná vymoženost, kterou si Fredy Hirsch vymohl. On byl neobyčejně charismatický člověk, který dokonce i Němcům imponoval. Měl takové vojenské chování, takže ho tak nějak respektovali a díky tomu dětský blok vznikl. Byly zde děti do čtrnácti nebo do patnácti let, myslím, že jsem si tehdy nějaký ten rok ubral, abych se sem dostal. Měli jsme tu vychovatele, který se nás snažil nějak zabavit, malé děti si hrály nebo zpívaly, ty starší zase měly jakési vyučování, pomáhalo nám to alespoň na chvíli zapomenout na mučivý hlad. Chodili za námi zajímaví lidé, například jednou přišel mezi nás jeden bývalý novinář, který se zúčastnil olympiády v Berlíně ve třicátém šestém roce, a ten nám vyprávěl o tom, jaká tam byla atmosféra, jak Hitler měl pocit, že musí zvítězit árijská rasa, ale když zvítězil černoch Jesse Owens, porazil Němce a získal čtyři zlaté medaile, Hitler byl vztekem bez sebe. A my jsme se radovali, že ten černoch zvítězil nad Hitlerem, a tak jsme byli zase naplněni vírou, že i my jednou nad Hitlerem zvítězíme. A všem se to nepodařilo, ale přece aspoň některým.

Když se v táboře prováděly apely, to znamená, že jednou nebo dvakrát denně museli vězni nastoupit do pětistupů a esesáci chodili a sčítali je, dělo se to venku, za každého počasí. My děti jsme zase měly tu výhodu, že jsme mohly sčítání provádět na našem bloku, v poměrném teple. No tak nebylo tam žádné horko, ale nebyl tam mráz, protože se dokonce jakýmsi způsobem topilo. Fredy Hirsch také například zařídil, že malé děti dostanou lepší stravu, že dostanou třeba hustší polévku. Ale jaký to mělo smysl, proč ty děti krmili šest měsíců a pak je poslali všechny do plynu, to nevím.

Chodil tam hitlerovský šéflékař Dr. Josef Mengele, byl to takový pán, který byl vždycky v perfektní uniformě, vždycky měl bílé rukavičky, opravdu vypadal důstojně a k dětem se choval velmi vlídně, jako strýček. Prostě nikdo by nevěřil, že to je vrah. Tohle všechno byl samozřejmě velký podvod, přetvářka.

Vězni z rodinného tábora měli v ústřední kartotéce poznámku Sonderbehandlung nach 6 Monaten. Zvláštní zacházení po šesti měsících, což byla kryptomluva, zvláštní zacházení znamenalo smrt v plynových komorách po šesti měsících. My jsme to tam měli také. Nadešel osudový červen 1944. Jenomže situace se změnila, byla invaze, fronta se blížila, Německo potřebovalo pracovní síly, tak si hitlerovci zřejmě uvědomili, že by to bylo plýtvání lidskými silami, kdyby dál likvidovali zdravé lidi. A proto vybrali několik tisíc zdravých mužů a žen a poslali je do pracovních táborů. Z těchto lidí někteří přežili. Vybrali také mého bratra, ten ovšem nepřežil, zahynul patrně na jaře čtyřicet pět, buďto kvůli nemoci nebo při pochodech smrti. Moje matka byla už v Terezíně operována na rakovinu, měla odebráno jedno ňadro, a tedy nemohla projít selekcí, takže si ji tam nechali. Já jsem zůstal také, protože jsem byl práce neschopný čtrnáctiletý kluk.

Jednoho horkého letního dne, někteří chlapci říkají, že to bylo ve čtvrtek šestého července 1944, já si datum nepamatuji, je to možné, přišel Mengele do tábora a jeden chlapec se odvážil k němu přiblížit a řekl mu, že jsme tady ještě jedna skupina chlapců, kteří jsou schopni pracovat. Nejsou ještě vysláblí a nemocní, sice jim není ještě šestnáct, ale jsou ochotni pracovat. Pan Mengele byl zjevně v dobré náladě a byl tak slušný, že toho chlapce na místě nezastřelil, a že opravdu v dětském bloku, který už byl prázdný, uspořádal selekci. Pamatuji si, že stál napravo a my jsme před ním nazí, šaty a boty v rukou, defilovali. On pak ukazoval, jestli můžeme přežít, nebo nemůžeme. Asi devadesáti chlapcům ukázal na správnou stranu, písař si pak zapsal jejich čísla, já měl to štěstí, že jsem byl mezi nimi. Poslal nás do vedlejšího tábora, to byla naše záchrana. Záchrana sice ne všech, ale z těchto devadesáti chlapců přežila skoro polovina. To byl takový zázrak, náhoda. Desátého července se opakovala hromadná vražda, která byla snad ještě větší než ta březnová, asi sedm tisíc lidí z terezínského rodinného tábora bylo ve dvou nocích zavražděno. Ženy s dětmi, staří, nemocní lidé, prostě všichni zahynuli v plynových komorách. To byl konec rodinného tábora. Byla to i smrt mojí matky.

Potom jsme přišli do mužského tábora. Protože nikde jinde nebylo místo, byli jsme přiděleni do bloku, který byl určen pro trestní komando, pro vězně, kteří se něčím provinili a tak byli zařazeni do zvláště těžkého pracovního oddílu. My jsme ovšem povinnosti Strafkommanda nepodléhali. Náš blok byl uzavřený, měl vlastní dvůr, který byl ohraničen zdí, a na druhé straně toho dvora sídlilo Sonderkommando, vězni, kteří pracovali v krematoriích a v plynových komorách. Od těchto lidí jsme se dozvěděli, co se s rodinným táborem stalo. Samozřejmě jsme to tušili, ale až oni nám to potvrdili. Řekli nám, jak konkrétně se to provedlo, jeden vězeň nám ukazoval krabici plnou zlatých zubů. Asi je propašoval a pak se je snažil vyměnit za jídlo nebo za cigarety nebo za něco takového.

Každou chvilku hučely sirény, to znamenalo, že utekl nějaký vězeň. Spousta lidí se pokoušela utéct. Hned jak se to zjistilo, dráty se nabily elektřinou, ony totiž dráty nebyly nabity pořád, ale jen v případě nějaké krize, třeba když šly transporty do plynu. Teď ale byla vyhlášena pohotovost, do drátů bylo zavedeno vysoké napětí a většinou byli ti, co se snažili utéct, chyceni. Strašným způsobem je vedli zpět, k tomu jim hrála muzika něco posměšného, nějaký marš, potom jim dali do rukou nápis, jak jsou strašně rádi, že jsou zase zpět, přivedli je do našeho bloku na dvůr, strašlivým způsobem je zmlátili a za několik dní, když se jakžtakž uzdravili a nezemřeli hned při tom bití, je pověsili. Šibenice stála uprostřed tábora a celý tábor se musel jít na tu popravu podívat. No a samozřejmě jsme byli také svědky toho, jak byli lidé mučeni na dvoře našeho bloku.

Po čase jsme se zase tak nějak rozkoukali. Poprvé jsme dostali možnost jezdit mimo oblast přísně střeženého tábora. Měli jsme takový žebřiňák, vozík, asi osm chlapců nás ho táhlo a jezdili jsme třeba pro dřevo do krematoria. Bylo tam naskládáno na dvoře a nám funkcionáři řekli, ať ho dovezeme, že je třeba topit, vařit… Cestou jsme míjeli vlečku, kolem níž byly naházeny věci, které tam zůstaly po nějakém transportu. Třeba když přijeli maďarští židé, ležela tam spousta věcí, protože je ještě nestačili uklidit. Našli jsme tam třeba bochníky chleba, kusy salámu, košile, boty, marmeládu… to všechno byl obrovský majetek. Tak jsme to naložili pod to dřevo a propašovali do tábora, tím jsme si pomohli a nějak vylepšili svůj život. Taky třeba když někdo pracoval v kuchyni při loupání brambor, mohl si zavázat nohavici, do toho nasypat brambory, propašovat to ven a tímto způsobem si nějak pomoci, byla to dobrá možnost. Časem jsme se dokázali v táboře nějak orientovat, viděli jsme, kde je možno nějaké takové věci získat, takže cesta z  tábora vždycky přinesla nějaký užitek.

Zde jsem prožil tři měsíce, pak ale jednou na začátku října jsem byl v kuchyni, loupal jsem brambory a najednou někdo zavolal, že se vybírají chlapci pro další transport někam jinam, mimo Osvětim. Zjistil jsem, že to jsou moji kamarádi, tak jsem vyběhl, vpletl jsem se mezi ně a zase nějaký esesák nám ukazoval doprava, doleva. Mně ukázal na jinou stranu než většině chlapců, ale já najednou, v jakémsi momentálním nápadu, jsem za jeho zády přeběhl, aniž by on to zpozoroval, do té větší skupiny. Tak možná, že to bylo lepší, možná, že to nebylo lepší, ale každopádně jsem naživu, tak jsem si asi zachránil život. Naši skupinu dvaceti nebo třiceti chlapců odvezli do tábora Gross Rosen ve Slezsku, a tam už to byla naprostá katastrofa. Zase další dimenze hrůzy. Už byl podzim, zima, my měli jen letní šaty. Nikde nebyla žádná možnost získat něco navíc, chodit si pro nějaké balíčky, pro nějaké zbytky potravin, zůstala už jen práce. Otrocká práce v lese na pile, v mrazu, o hladu, zaplavily nás tisíce vší. V Osvětimi byly vši ještě jaksi pod kontrolou. Udržovala se jakási čistota, když se nějaká veš našla, šlo se do desinfekce. Němci se totiž strašně báli flektyfu, který vši přenášejí. Ale tady… to bylo něco katastrofálního. To si nedovedete představit, co to je, být neustále zavšivený, vši se rodí geometrickou řadou, nedají se vyhubit, prostě zabijete jednu a za chvilku se jich na tom místě zase objeví deset. Spíte pod pokrývkou, která se hýbá. A když třeba staří lidé se nedovedou bránit… no tak prostě to byla jedna velká katastrofa.

Zima na přelomu let čtyřicet čtyři, čtyřicet pět byla navíc velmi tuhá, my jsme byli v horách, buď v Orlických nebo Adršpašských, bylo to někde blízko Broumova na druhé straně hor. Káceli jsme stromy, což byla těžká práce, ale nejhorší ze všeho byla ta ukrutná zima, ten neustálý mráz a ten neustálý hlad, celá ta beznaděj. Jídlo bylo nuzné, člověk si nemohl už ani nijak přilepšit. Na polích nic nebylo, hledali jsme zmrzlé žaludy, ale nic se nedalo najít, byla zima. Jak jsme v Terezíně opovrhovali těmi německými židy, tak i já jsem tu vybíral shnilé brambory, pokud jsem se k nim dostal. To už jsme se opravdu stávali muselmany. Lidmi, co už mají jenom kosti potažené kůží. Já jsem pak onemocněl, dostal jsem se na revír, to byla pro mě jistá záchrana. Jídlo sice dál nebylo nijaké, ale bylo tam jakžtakž teplo, byl jsem v posteli a nemusel jsem do toho hrozného mrazu a do té hrozné práce. Bylo to jisté vysvobození. Po několika dnech na konci ledna čtyřicet pět mě odvezli ještě zase do jiného tábora, takže jsem kontakt s ostatními chlapci ztratil. Z těch třiceti chlapců jsme bohužel přežili jenom dva. Z těch, co zůstali v  Osvětimi, jich přežilo asi čtyřicet. Taky se dostali do jiných táborů, ale měli celkem slušnější podmínky, možná, kdybych nepřeběhl, přežil bych lepším způsobem… no nevím. Z těch devadesáti přežilo čtyřicet a tady z těch dvaceti nebo třiceti jsme přežili jenom dva. Já a ještě jeden holandský chlapec. O nikom jiném nevím. Ten Holanďan už zemřel, jmenoval se Durlacher, takže z této skupiny už žiji jenom já.

Pak jsem se dostal do jedné továrny, spíš odkladiště nemocných, kteří už prakticky na žádnou práci nechodili a čekali jen na smrt. Byli tu staří lidé, nemocní, dovedete si představit, jaké hygienické poměry zde panovaly, co tam bylo vší a samozřejmě hlad. Těch pár měsíců do konce války, to už byl boj o život. Už jsem opravdu počítal, jestli dřív umřu já nebo jestli dřív skončí válka. Šlo o týdny, o dny, o hodiny. Nacházel jsem se v strategicky nevýznamném Kladsku, které armády směřující na Berlín a do protektorátu nejdříve obešly, a sem přišel až druhý sled. Němci před nimi utekli, osmého května večer bylo prázdno a devátého května se objevili Rusové a Poláci. Konec války.

  • Po válce

Z posledních sil jsem vylezl ven, přespal jsem někde ve stáji mezi koňmi a ráno jsem se plazil po silnici, než mě uviděl nějaký Rus. Pamatuji si, že to byl takový ten typický Ivan, měl vousy a když viděl, že sbírám odpadky, vzal mě za ruku a dovedl do blízkého německého statku. Celá rodina musela nastoupit, on jim řekl, ať mu dají nějaká vajíčka a poručil, že o mě mají pečovat. Ta rodina na mě koukala jako na bytost z Marsu. Nikdy nic takového neviděli, byl jsem na smrt nemocný, svlékli mě, dali mě do vany, já jim řekl, ať moje šaty spálí, jsou plné vší… a pak vodili ostatní Němce, své známé, aby se na mě podívali. Asi vůbec nevěděli, že tam někde o půl kilometru dál je koncentrační tábor, kde umírají lidé. Dali mě do čistého pokoje a pak je nenapadlo nic chytřejšího, než mi uvařit jakousi silnou polévku, hovězí nebo slepičí, což pro mě, vysláblého, byla samozřejmě katastrofa, následně jsem dostal průjem. Tehdy jsem měl flektyfus, tuberkulózu a nevím, co ještě… a tak, když viděli, že mě sami nijak nepomůžou, že se můj stav nelepší, odvezli mě do nějaké nemocnice, jakéhosi polského lazaretu. Ležel jsem v něm několik týdnů, překonal jsem flektyfus a pak mě propustili. Vydal jsem se na cestu do Prahy, částečně pěšky, částečně na nějakých náklaďácích nebo nákladních vlacích, až jsem se dostal na české hranice do pohraniční stanice Mezilesí Lichkov. Seděl jsem na zastávce a čekal, až přijede vlak na Prahu. Pak jsem do něj nastoupil a řekl jsem si, no tak co, jedu do Prahy.

Prahou jsem se potácel, nezapomněl jsem, kde bydlím, tak jsem šel tam. Jen jsem doufal, že dům nebude zničený, protože jsem se doslechl, že se v Praze bojovalo. Naštěstí dům stál, naše sousedka, paní Bondyová, mě vzala k sobě do bytu, protože paní Kopská nebyla doma. Pak přišla i paní Kopská, šel jsem k ní a vyprávěl jí celý svůj příběh, a hlavně jsem jedl. To mi zachránilo život. Doktor mi řekl, že vůbec nedoufal, že přežiji, natolik vážný byl můj stav, ale já měl tak silnou touhu žít, že jsem svůj fyzický stav překonal. Přibíral jsem na váze, na posezení jsem klidně snědl celou bábovku, jídlo bylo mou jedinou radostí. A pak být v čisté posteli a mít jakési pohodlí. Následující měsíce jsem strávil v různých nemocnicích a sanatoriích, prakticky po dva roky jsem byl vyřazen ze života. Můj stav se nedal tak snadno překonat. Tak taková byla pro mne poválečná doba.

Co se týče mé rodiny, byl jsem tedy jediný, kdo válku přežil, matka i bratr zahynuli. Z příbuzných dále zahynuli strýc Jindřich Brod a teta Berta z Pardubic v Osvětimi, strýc Jiří Petrovský s manželkou Annou a synem Ivoškem nejspíše v Lodži, dcera strýce Jiřího Věra, kterou měl z prvního manželství s tou Italkou, nebyla deportována, zemřela po válce na leukémii. Dále v Osvětimi zemřela ve čtyřiačtyřicátém roce matčina sestra Štefa Picková, jejich bratr Jindřich byl také v Osvětimi, ale zemřel až po jejím osvobození v březnu čtyřicátého pátého roku. Je zázrak, že i jeho manželka, teta Růženka, i jejich dvě děti válku přežili. Matčin bratr Karel nebyl nikam deportován.

Po válce jsem s paní Kopskou bydlel v bytě v Masné ulici, ze kterého jsme odcházeli do transportu. Ještě dlouho jsem nemohl chodit do školy a ani nemohl být zaměstnán, až začátkem osmačtyřicátého roku jsem nastoupil místo jakéhosi úředníka v podniku, který se tehdy jmenoval Gramofonové závody, kde jsem pracoval asi dva roky. Mezitím se ke mně dostala nabídka, že lidé, kteří by chtěli studovat a zúčastnit se aktivně života společnosti, se mohou přihlásit, a pokud nemají maturitu, tak že si ji musí dodělat. Několik měsíců jsem pak chodil do jakéhosi kurzu, po jehož konci jsem udělal zkoušku, nahrazující maturitu, následně jsem se mohl přihlásit na vysokou školu. V semestru padesát, padesát jedna jsem nastoupil do Školy politických a hospodářských věd, což byla spíš taková škola, která měla pro hospodářský a politický život vychovávat funkcionáře. Po čase byla ale zrušena a její studenti byli převedeni na Filosoficko-historickou fakultu Univerzity Karlovy, kde si mohli vybrat pro další studium různé obory, filosofii, historii nebo nějakou politicko-diplomatickou dráhu. Já jsem si vybral historii a dokončil jsem ji v pětapadesátém roce. Po absolvování dostal každý student umístěnku, jakousi listinu, nárok na zaměstnání buď v ústavu, nebo v nějakém podniku. Já jsem se ucházel o místo ve Vojenském historickém ústavu, kam jsem v pětapadesátém roce s dalšími asi pěti spolužáky nastoupil.

Byli jsme velmi chudí. Hned po válce byla měnová reforma, kdy se všechny peníze převedly na takzvané vázané vklady, tudíž všechny protektorátní úspory přestaly platit. Matka tu nechala nějaké šperky, které paní Kopská zachránila, a já si třeba za jeden zlatý řetízek koupil v Darexu oblek. Darex byl předchůdce Tuzexu [vybraný obchod se zahraničním zbožím, které se v komunistických zemích nedalo běžně koupit – pozn. red.], kde se daly za zlato koupit věci, které se jinak v obchodě nedostaly.

Jak jsem říkal, strýci Karlovi se osud ostatních židů vyhnul, zůstal v Praze. Po válce to byl vlastně jediný můj příbuzný, který mi mohl pomoct. Měli krásný dům na Vinohradech a já jsem k němu vlastně chodil žebrat, třeba když jsem potřeboval nějaké peníze na školu. Sice mi nějakou tu korunu dal, ale spíš tak, aby to jeho manželka neviděla. Bylo to tak ponižující! Proto jsem byl v podstatě rád, když jeho rodina po osmačtyřicátém roce emigrovala do Brazílie. Kontakt jsme spolu dále neudržovali, strýc už zemřel.

Doba po čtyřicátém osmém roce, kdy se ujal vlády komunistický režim, byla dobou nejtvrdších perzekucí a celé té politicky vypjaté atmosféry, kdy vlastně každý mohl být potenciální nepřítel a všichni mohli být zatčeni. Já jsem ale byl stranou toho všeho, žádné politické činnosti jsem se nezúčastnil. Byl jsem student, kterého zajímalo studium, takže jsem se prakticky do žádných veřejných funkcí a do žádné politiky nemíchal, šlo to mimo mne. Neměl jsem takovou studijní průpravu, jako měli třeba ostatní chlapci, kteří prošli všech sedm tříd gymnázia, proto pro mne bylo náročné studium zvládat. Takže mou hlavní starostí bylo zvládnout učení. Zvládnout zkoušky a postoupit do dalších ročníků. Proto se musím přiznat, že politické události šly mimo mou pozornost. Mimo mou hlavní pozornost.

Ještě před Únorem 16 jsem vstoupil do komunistické strany, protože jsem měl takovou představu, že proti jednomu extrému, který představoval hitlerovský režim, je možno bojovat pouze druhým extrémem, a že demokracie jako politický systém zklamala, nedokázala se bránit. A tedy jediný skutečně silný protivník a garant toho, že se nebude opakovat hitlerovská vláda a hitlerovský režim, je režim komunistický. Toto, idealistické důvody, mě vedly k tomu, že jsem v lednu čtyřicet osm do strany vstoupil. I když není možno to chápat jednostranně. Svou podstatou jsem nebyl komunista, byl jsem vychován v demokratickém duchu, pocházel jsem z buržoazní rodiny. Tehdy byl původ každého velmi pečlivě zkoumán a buržoazní původ byl nebezpečný, představoval obrovskou zátěž a velké mínus pro váš profil. Já jsem ale byl sirotek a za války jsem prožil těžkou dobu, proto to v mém případě nehrálo snad až tak velkou roli, nic kladného to ovšem nebylo. Snažil jsem se přijímat komunismus jakožto myšlenku, jakožto ideologii, ale snad právě proto, že jsem byl jiného ražení, potlačoval jsem své pochybnosti a své představy o tom, že přece jenom je ta demokracie něco, čeho bychom si měli vážit. I když sice selhala, má nějaká pozitiva. Tohle všechno bylo dost neuvědomělé, protože co já, sedmnáctiletý kluk, jsem věděl o demokracii? Faktem zůstává, že jsem v tomto smyslu nebyl takový ten nadšený, nemyslící a stádní typ, který na schůzích tleskal a provolával slávu Stalinovi a ať žije Sovětský svaz. Nebo se mohl zbláznit nadšením, když šel na první máj v průvodu, případně viděl na schůzi nějakého komunistického představitele, takový jsem opravdu nebyl. Musel jsem v sobě bojovat s tím, čemu se tehdy říkalo rezidua měšťáckého myšlení. Všechny tyto projevy takzvaných přežitků byly velmi ostře sledovány ostatním kolektivem komunistů, kteří byli na škole vedoucími funkcionáři, a velmi pečlivě si zaznamenávali vše, co se neshodovalo s jejich míněním o tom, jak by měl vypadat mladý komunistický budovatel republiky. Když přišel Únor 16, asi tak bych řekl, rozumem jsem ho přijal jako nějaké řešení, ale srdcem určitě jsem nebyl stoprocentně na této straně. To určitě ne. Věděl jsem, že tady končí něco, čeho je škoda. Tady začíná něco neznámého, což jsem rozumem sice chápal, musel jsem totiž studovat spisy Marxe, Stalina a podobných a orientovat se v komunistické ideologii, ale v srdci jsem litoval, že končí éra, kdy byla možnost diskuse, možnost opozice, možnost vyjádřit své názory i jiného druhu než komunistické. Takže jsem nesplynul s davem, vždycky mě dav spíš provokoval k otázkám, které byly nekonformní.

Ovšem samozřejmě jsem si musel dávat pozor, abych se nahlas neprojevoval. Jestliže člověk chtěl být na škole a chtěl dokončit studium, musel být ve svých projevech opatrný. Nesměl dát najevo, že nepatří do kolektivu, že s ním není zajedno. Na škole fungovala velká politická policie. Byli tam lidi, kteří velmi ostře sledovali vaše chování, vše se zapisovalo do kádrových posudků. Každých několik měsíců se konaly takzvané prověrky. Já jsem nikomu neublížil, ale taky jsem sám sobě přirozeně nechtěl ublížit tím, že bych řekl tak tohle to je nesmyl, fráze, nesprávný názor. Samozřejmě, že mě potkala na škole doba Slánského procesu 17, zase to ale šlo mimo mě. Cítil jsem, že je tady něco zlého, že je tu něco, co se nesluší, co je nebezpečné a co je jakýsi symptom neblahého vývoje, ale radši jsem se od toho odvracel. Říkal jsem si, že přece já jako židovský chlapec nemůžu sympatizovat s těmi odsouzenými židy, s těmi sionisty, protože tím pádem by to odium padlo i na mě. Takže jsem se radši stáhl a říkal si, že strana má nějaký důvod to takhle říkat, proto radši o tom nebudu moc přemýšlet. Byla to ovšem chyba, byla to moje hanba, že jsem už tehdy neprohlédl, ale ono to v tom ovzduší, které bylo, nešlo, a nebylo by to dobře, protože kdybych byl prohlédl, tak bych musel být vyloučen nebo musel bych ze školy vystoupit.

V padesátém třetím zemřel Gottwald 18. To byl velký smutek v národě. Samozřejmě na škole byly oficielní projevy a pláč, hlavně děvčata emocionálně štkala nad ztrátou, hroznou ránou, navíc nešlo jenom o Gottwalda, krátce předtím zemřel i Stalin. Všichni se předstihovali v projevech zármutku, nevím už, jestli se nosily i černé pásky, ale smát se byl každopádně zločin. Byla to opravdu doba, kdy člověk musel velmi zřetelně dávat najevo ztrátu, která tento národ a stranu a všechny pokrokové lidi na celém světě postihla. Zajisté, že to byla komedie. Komedie v době hrůzy, kdy člověk věděl, že všude číhá někdo, kdo ho sleduje. Kdo si zapisuje jeho výroky a kdo sleduje jeho chování, řeči, názory. Žili jsme v policejním státu a chodili na policejní školu. Vylučování lidí bylo běžné. Například jeden kolega kdesi vyhrabal Trockého 19 a začal ho číst. Jenže Trockého kniha, to byl zločin. To bylo na upálení. Byla objevena v jeho osobních věcech, a tak byl okamžitě vyloučen. Opravdu hrozná doba. Na druhou stranu jsme byli mladí, bylo mi dvacet, jednadvacet let, doháněl jsem vlastně své mládí. Nejkrásnější léta svého života jsem prožil v lágru  nebo po nemocnicích, takže jsem taky začínal chtít žít pořádný život, mít lásky a tak dále, sice jsem pořád byl hendikepován svým stavem, přesto však člověk chtěl mít nějaké zájmy, snažil se chodit na zábavu, pořádaly se různé kroužky, tancovalo se, zpívalo… Zábava byla různým způsobem omezená, ale přeci jen to jistý únik ze sešněrovaného politického života byl.

Během studia, v dvaapadesátém roce, jsem také potkal svou budoucí ženu. Jmenovala se Libuše Kvasničková, byla o tři roky mladší a pocházela z Moravy. Poznali jsme se na koleji v Opletalově ulici, kam jsem chodil za svými kamarády, abychom pořádali různé takové párty nebo nacvičovali všelijaké veselé divadelní výstupy. Začali jsme spolu chodit a po dvou letech, ještě před dokončením školy, jsme se v čtyřiapadesátém roce vzali.

Libuše byla taková uvědomělá, spíš proletářského původu, i když její otec byl četník, tak jakýpak proletář. Celá rodina se po válce věnovala politice a vstoupila do komunistické strany. Moje žena byla přesvědčená svazačka. Myslím si, že na mě shlížela s jakýmsi odstupem, protože poznala, že já zas tak přesvědčený svazák nejsem, že jsem dokonce ochoten v soukromí vyprávět takzvané reakční vtipy, což byla strašná urážka, nesmělo se to. Pod mým vlivem se však zcivilizovala a velmi brzy se z ní stala normální dívka. Měli jsme studentskou svatbu na Staroměstské radnici, prakticky jsem ani neměl na její zaplacení. Byla opravdu taková studentská, konala se třicátého dubna padesátého čtvrtého roku a druhý den jsme hned šli do průvodu. Tehdy se chodilo do průvodu Prahou, celá škola se podílela. Byla to komedie, měli jsme oslavovat první máj a naši stranu a vládu, naše představitele. Po svatbě jsme bydleli, spolu s paní Kopskou, dál v bytě v Masné ulici. Na podzim se nám narodila dcera Šárka.

Po skončení školy jsem nastoupil ve Vojenském historickém ústavu. Až do padesátého pátého roku byl hlavním nepřítelem věrných komunistů Tito 20. To byl zrádce a všechna obvinění v Slánského procesu 17 spočívala v tom, že jde o titoistickou sionistickou skupinu. Lev Haas, který taky zažil Terezín, se pak naprosto znemožnil tím, že v každém Rudém právu [noviny s levicově orientovanou redakcí – pozn. red.] byl jeho obraz krvavého psa Tita, spolu s dalšími imperialistickými zločinci, jako byli Eisenhower, Churchill, MacArthur. Ovšem Tito jim vždy vévodil a z rukou mu kapala krev. Měl v nich sekeru, kterou chtěl vraždit. Taky za styk s Jugoslávci se vylučovalo ze strany, prostě Jugoslávie a Tito v jejím čele byla náš nepřítel. Pak ale, v padesátém pátém roce, přijel Chruščov 21 do Bělehradu, vystoupil z letadla a na letišti ho čekal Tito. A Chruščov ho oslovil drahý soudruhu Tito. Tak to byl pro mě šok. To jsem si řekl, tohle se mi snad jen zdá. Tak tento krvavý pes, tento agent imperialismu, tento výlupek všeho strašného, zlého a odporného, je najednou drahý soudruh? To jsem si řekl, to je podvod. Teď vím, že jste mě oklamali. Teď vím, že to, co jsem skrýval v srdci a co jsem se bál dát najevo, je pravda, jste zločinci. Ovšem nebylo možné okamžitě přejít od komunistických myšlenek na antikomunismus. V tomto chování a myšlení jsem nebyl sám. Snažili jsme se komunismus nějakým způsobem reorganizovat, reformovat ho. Snažili jsme se nějakým způsobem nabourat ideologii jediné jasnovidné a všeznalé myšlenky, komunistické pravdy, chtěli jsme poukazovat na zločiny, které se děly. To taky nebyla tak jednoduchá věc. V Československu prakticky celá intelektuální fronta humanitního směru, filosofové, historikové, žurnalisté, spisovatelé, kteří byli až dosud komunisté, se snažili komunismus reformovat, snažili jsme se tu nikdy se nemýlící stranu podkopávat. Tato intelektuální fronta byla tak obrovská, že si s ní nikdo nevěděl rady. Funkcionáři a čelní ideologové strany říkali, že jsme placení ze Západu od revanšistů a amerických imperialistů. Že to všechno je nějaká intrika, nějaký podvrh, nějaké spiknutí. Samozřejmě, nikdo nic nedostával, byl to pokus o očistu lidí, kteří si uvědomili, že uvěřili něčemu, co se ukázalo jako podvod, jako něco hrůzného. Proto se to teď snažili nějakým způsobem zlepšit, regenerovat. Přirozeně, byli jsme idealisté, tento režim nešel napravit, tento režim bylo nutno zničit. K tomu jsme se ale dlouho nemohli odhodlat, protože pořád nám byla sympatická myšlenka socialismu jako spravedlivého řádu, který by mohl společnosti prospět. Věřili jsme, že když se vydá správným směrem, chopí se ho správní lidé, dá se nějak napravit. Konkrétně já jsem pořád hledal nějaký model, který by sloučil socialismus s demokracií. Sloučil východní systém se systémem západním, hledal jsem třetí cestu, která samozřejmě byla taky nesmysl, ale prostě jsem se nechtěl vzdát myšlenky socialismus nějak reformovat. Člověk se nepřerodil naráz. Člověk si jenom uvědomil, že komunismus je zločin. Že stalinismus je zločin. Že Sovětský svaz je imperialistický, zločinný stát. Tím přece ale ještě není odepsán socialismus! Pořád to ještě může být myšlenka a praxe, která by se dala uskutečnit a světu by přinesla něco dobrého. V tom byla schizofrenie a problém generace, kterou jsem reprezentoval.

Ve Vojenském historickém ústavu jsem se dostal k problematice československého odboje za druhé světové války na Západě, což ovšem bylo obrovské tabu. Jednak Beneš 22 byl gangster a všichni, kdo bojovali na Západě byli zločinci, většina nebo všichni byli pomahači imperialismu, takže byli po Únoru 16 v kriminálech. Já a ještě jeden kolega, Eduard Čejka, jsme se snažili tuto historii popsat objektivněji. Ne objektivně, to nešlo, ale přece jenom ukázat, že to všichni nebyli reakcionáři, že to naopak byli lidé, kteří bojovali proti hitlerismu, za republiku, že to byli lidé, kteří měli zásluhy. Byl to ale šok pro politické pracovníky v armádě. Málem nás za to upálili. Vydali jsme knížku, když ji dneska člověk čte, řekne, že je hrozná, jinak bohužel napsat nešla. Nejde o to, že tam jsou kraviny, jde o to téma, o to, že je napsána o vojácích na Západě, kteří nebyli imperialisti, kteří bojovali za svobodu. Tato kniha vzbudila ohromný ohlas. Dokonce vyhrála i nějakou cenu v souteži Svazu bojovníků za svobodu, dlouho však cenzura nepovolila její vydání, to se podařilo až v šedesátých letech. Pořádali jsme spoustu přednášek po celé republice, byly plné, chodili na ně bývalí vojáci ze Západu, pokud už byli počátkem šedesátých let propuštěni z kriminálu. Samozřejmě, že to pro ně byla senzace, že se o nich konečně taky začalo mluvit jako o lidech, kteří se zasloužili o osvobozování republiky. Pamatuji si, že na jedné přednášce vystoupil jeden bývalý voják a řekl mi: „Víte, já jsem bojoval za republiku. Ale kdyby teď zase nastala taková situace, že by republiku někdo ohrožoval a můj syn se přihlásil do armády, radši bych mu zlámal nohy, než abych ho nechal jít za ni bojovat.“ To se mi opravdu hluboce vrylo do paměti.

Chruščovova 21 tajná řeč, kterou pronesl v padesátém šestém roce, v té době jsem ještě pořád pracoval v tom vojenském ústavu, se samozřejmě dostala nějakým způsobem na veřejnost. Tak nějak jsme ji znali a ve stranických organizacích se začalo diskutovat o tom, co to stalinismus vlastně byl a jaké zločiny s sebou nesl. Na jedné schůzi jsem neprozřetelně přirovnal metody stranické politiky a policie k metodám gestapa. Což si politrukové [pulitruk, představitel KSČ zodpovědný za věci politickovýchovné – pozn. red.] zapsali. Hned se to pak vyšetřovalo, přišla za mnou tajná policie, snažila se mě dokonce získat, abych s nimi spolupracoval… Chtěli mě vyloučit ze strany, byla to velmi nebezpečná situace. Nakonec mě zbavili možnosti vědecké práce, v ústavu mě dali na podřadné místo, takže tahle doba na přelomu padesátých a šedesátých let byla pro mě velmi těžká. Vlastně jsem byl ostrakizován, dokonce i moji bývalí kolegové, kamarádi, kteří se mnou do ústavu společně nastoupili, se mnou nechtěli mít nic společného… koneckonců to je tak vždycky. Když někdo upadne v nemilost, tak od něj radši dál.

Počátkem šedesátých let doba hrůzy přešla, bylo zase o něco volněji a já dostal nabídku z Československé akademie věd, abych se pod její záštitou zabýval mezinárodní a československou politikou. Přijal jsem, v třiašedesátém roce jsem přešel do ústavu, který se zabýval dějinami východní Evropy. Při studiu československo-sovětských vztahů jsem ale našel věci, které byly velmi nebezpečné a ještě mnohem výbušnější než problematika československých vojáků na Západě. Proto jsem víceméně jenom sbíral materiál, když jsem začal psát knihu, tak mě vyhodili. Knihu jsem pak sice vydal jako samizdat 23, ale vlastně až po osmdesátém devátém roce jsem se opravdu mohl starat o to, aby se dostala na světlo světa. Považuji ji za své životní dílo.

Doba šedesátých let byla hlavně politická, dělal jsem spoustu přednášek, o Benešovi, o vojácích na Západě, o Únoru, o odboji, o situaci za protektorátu, tenkrát se tady tvrdilo, že komunisté byli největšími bojovníky proti hitlerismu, my jsem tuhle tu fámu vyvraceli, protože naopak až do jedenačtyřicátého roku komunisté proti Hitlerovi vůbec nebojovali.  Opozice proti Hitlerovi v této době byla hlavně složena z občanských sil, komunisté se soustředili na poválečné převzetí moci, ne na boj s Hitlerem. To všechno byly samozřejmě novinky. Všichni stáli v úžasu nad tím, když jsme jim to my, historikové, kteří měli přístup do tajných materiálů, říkali. A dovedete si představit, jaký to zase byl šok pro komunistické funkcionáře, když se o tom doslechli? Jak vlastně my, také komunisté, rozvracíme stranický a společenský monolit…

Moje paní také pracovala v Akademii věd, předtím sice byla zaměstnána ve Státním ústředním archivu, ale protože celkem často přicházela do kontaktu s cizinci, zajímala se o ni tajná policie, a jednoho dne jí řekli, že v archivu s tajnými dokumenty pracovat nemůže. Sice ji nezavřeli nebo nevyhodili, ale dali ji na jiné místo, v Encyklopedickém ústavu Akademie věd se potom několik let podílela na tvorbě jednoho naučného slovníku.

O naši dceru se starala paní Kopská, byla pro ni jakoby babička, bába. Vlastně na ni přenesla všechnu svou lásku. Byla to další generace, o kterou se paní Kopská starala. Moje žena byla zaměstnaná, na rozdíl od mojí matky za mého dětství, proto to byla opravdu Ančí, kdo se Šárce v jejím dětství nejvíce věnoval. Tenkrát bylo zvykem děti dávat do školy, Šárka sice nějakou dobu chodila také, ale bába ji vždycky vyzvedla a šla s ní do parku nebo na hřiště.  Vařila jí kašičky, když třeba plakala, já jsem říkal: prosím tě, nech ji brečet. Ale Ančí že ne, že jí nemůže  nechat brečet. Asi měla pravdu, malé dítě vyžaduje pořád nějakou společnost. Tak šla za ní, tišila jí, četla pohádky, uspávala… Určitě měla o Šárku větší strach, než jsme měli my. Když byla nemocná, byla z toho celá vyděšená. My jsme nad nad tím mávli rukou, no tak co, malé děti mívají teploty.  Jak mi říkala vnučka, ještě teď na ni dcera hodně vzpomíná a hodně o ni mluví, vždyť Šárka taky prožila ta nejkrásnější dětská léta právě s ní.

Ančí zemřela v zimě roku 1963. Už několik let před svou smrtí byla nemocná, měla rakovinu. Zemřela v nemocnici na Františků, nebyla to moc dobrá nemocnice. Sice jsme za ní chodili, ale kvalitní lékařskou péči jsme zajistit nemohli. Její smrt jsem určitě  bral jako smrt dalšího člena mé rodiny. Celá rodina jsme se samozřejmě účastnili pohřbu, přijel i tchán. Obřad byl ve Strašnicích a Ančí je pohřbena na hřbitově v Šárce. Má tam urnu. Ve stejném hrobě je pohřben i její syn.

Samozřejmě, že si dnes vyčítám… všechno si vyčítám. Tenkrát mě ještě nezajímaly ty otázky, které bych jí kladl dneska. Copak já tenkrát, to mě začínal zajímat život jiným způsobem, neptal jsem se, co a jak bylo. To mě zajímá až teď. Snad každý člověk nebo alespoň většina z nich má určité výčitky vůči svým rodičům, vychovatelům. Lidem, kteří se zasloužili o jeho dětství. Je to, jak říká ten básník, chce se splácet dluh, ale není  věřitele.

Zejména pro Šárku byla její ztráta velmi těžká, hodně ji oplakala. Nakonec už ale byla velká, tak začala do školy chodit sama, už se starala sama o sebe. Po základní škole  navštěvovala střední uměleckou školu na Vinohradech. Byla a je výrazně výtvarně nadaná.Na dovolenou jsme jezdili tak na tři nebo na čtyři týdny hlavně po Čechách, protože to bylo nejsnadnější, nebo dceru jsme poslali ke známým na venkov, aby nemusela být přes léto v Praze, a pak jsme jezdili za ní. V šedesátých letech se nám podařilo jet asi dvakrát nebo třikrát do Bulharska a Jugoslávie k moři. Jak je známo, šedesátá léta znamenala pro život v Československu určité uvolnění, nebylo třeba až tak obtížné jezdit na Západ na různé vědecké konference, já byl zakládajícím členem Výboru pro dějiny národně osvobozeneckého boje, takže i díky tomu jsem byl do zahraničí na konference zván. Jezdil jsem do Vídně, Berlína, poznal jsem svět, který pro nás byl v té době naprosto nemyslitelný. Zboží všude, ovoce a hlavně elektronika, oděvy, tehdy začínaly džíny, byl problém je sehnat, a když je někdo měl, byla to senzace. Podobné zboží se samozřejmě dalo sehnat v Tuzexu [vybraný obchod se zahraničním zbožím, které se v komunistických zemích nedalo běžně koupit – pozn. red.], ale přeci jenom vidět ty plné výkladní skříně, to bohatství Vídně a Berlína, neony a večerní život… prostě úplně jiný svět. No, dneska je to otrava, dneska mě vůbec Západ neláká, neony mám tady taky, zboží tady mám taky takové, tak co bych tam dělal? Jedině tam jedu za památkami. Ale tehdy bylo hlavním cílem jít do obchodního domu. Mohli jsme nakoupit zboží asi za tisíc, za dva tisíce korun. Samozřejmě, že se ledacos pašovalo, nebo zase naši známí Němci, když přijeli na návštěvu, tak nám také přivezli dary a všelijaké věci, nebylo to až tak neproniknutelné. Ženy si kupovaly hlavně boty, taštičky a podobné věci, to byl u nás zázrak. Jednou se moje žena vracela se svou setrou z Východního Německa, koupily si nějaké boty, které se tady ještě nedostaly, a pak se třásly, aby jim to na hranicích nesebrali. Protože to se taky stávalo, že celníci, když jste si koupili něco, co přesahovalo hodnotu povolené částky, tak vám to zabavili. Na hranicích se dělaly všelijaké kontroly, třeba mě hodiny a hodiny zdržovali, když jsem jel do Německa nebo do Rakouska, byly to nechutné scény.

V srpnu šedesátého osmého roku jsem dostal pozvání na konferenci, která se konala každý rok v rakouských Alpách. Přijal jsem ho, má paní a dcera mě doprovázely do Vídně, pak se vrátily domů a okupace 24 je překvapila tady. Já jsem okupaci zažil v Alpbachu. Pamatuji si, jak jsem viděl v televizi, kterak naše slavná delegace přijela do Moskvy. Moc dobře se mi vybavuje jejich zbabělost. Okupace, to byl zmatek, chaos, na hranicích se nic nekontrolovalo, nikdo nevěděl, co bude. Sice tady byli sověti, ale ještě nezakázali cestování, a tak celá řada lidí po osmašedesátém roce volně odjela pryč, naložili auta a odjeli. Manželka s dcerou se vrátily za mnou do Rakouska, měli jsme na podzim zaplacenou dovolenou v Jugoslávii, tak jsme tam odjeli. Čelní představitelé našeho státu, prezident Svoboda 25, první tajemník ÚV KSČ Dubček 26, a tehdejší předseda Národního shromáždění Smrkovský 27 byli opět doma, to byla taky reprezentace par excellence, no ale říkali, že se situace zase nějak uklidnila, že se máme vrátit. Vrátili jsme se a viděli jsme, co se tady děje.

Začátkem devětašedesátého roku jsem ještě dostal stipendium na rok do Německa. Tenkrát jsem uvažoval o tom, že emigruji. Rodina přijela za mnou, to byla ještě taková krátká doba, kdy normalizace nebyla až tak pevná v kramflecích a mohlo se jakžtakž cestovat. V Německu mi nabízeli místo na univerzitě, takže jsem měl možnost zůstat. Kdybych měl podporu rodiny, tak to snad i udělám. Má rodina ale emigrovat nechtěla, já zase nechtěl žít v Německu sám, proto jsem se, když mi vypršelo stipendium, vrátil do republiky. Potom mě vyloučili ze strany, že prý nejsem hoden, abych byl jejím členem, vyhodili mě i z Akademie [Československá akademie věd], no tak jsem šel čerpat vodu.

Mou paní také vyloučili ze strany a vyhodili z Akademie [Československá akademie věd],  tak šla dělat uklizečku. Čekala ji dlouhá čtrnáctiletá kariéra uklizečky, kterou dělala až do důchodu. I dcera měla různé problémy, myslím, že koncem šedesátých let ještě byla v Pionýru, pak ale už ji nikam nepřijímali, pro dceru vyloučeného člověka nepřipadalo v úvahu, že by se nějak angažovala. Ona ani nechtěla. Myslím, že brzo vzala rozum. I jiné věci se jí děly, především ji taky pronásledovali, jestli měla řidičský průkaz, tak musela dělat přezkušování, moji ženu volali na přezkušování, mě zabavili řidičský průkaz, když chtěla dcera jet na zájezd s nějakou uměleckou třídou do Francie, tak jí to nedovolili… Hlavně se ale nedostala dál na školu.

Každý podnik lidi jako já nezaměstnal. Existovaly specielní podniky, které mohly tyhle ty odpadlíky, tyhle ty zrádce, disidenty zaměstnávat, například jsme mohli čistit okna, pracovat v kotelnách... A pak byl také podnik jmenující se Vodní zdroje, jehož zaměstnanci jezdili v maringotkách po krajích českých a vrtali prameny, čerpali z nich vodu a hodnotili její průtok. Tak to jsem dělal rok. Asi rok jsem jezdil v maringotce, spolu se mnou i kolega historik Jan Křen, Petr Pithart [redaktor, disident, nyní politik – pozn. red.]a mnoho dalších nás bylo v téhle té partě. Jezdit v maringotce pořád, i v zimě, nebyla legrace, proto jsem odešel. Nějakou dobu jsem měl dohodu o práci s jednou firmou, která zprostředkovávala taxislužbu různým podnikům. Třeba si zavolali, že ten a ten chce někam odvézt, tak jsem ho odvezl, vydělával jsem si tím, že jsem počítal najeté kilometry a dobu, kterou jsem s ním jel. Ale bylo to samozřejmě velmi nebezpečné, protože vlastně ani nešlo o zaměstnání. Existovalo potenciální nebezpečí, že mě zavřou jako příživníka, neměl jsem pojištění... Pak jsem se, z jakési známosti, dostal do nemocnice, kde byli slušní lékaři a ti mně poradili, abych si zašel na psychiatrii, že bych mohl mít komplex z koncentračních táborů a být uznán jako invalida. To se podařilo a já v sedmdesátém pátém roce dostal invalidní důchod. Díky tomu jsem mohl zůstat doma a v klidu pracovat. Byla to sice nuzná existence, ale svobodná. Přece jenom to byla určitá ekonomická jistota. Peněz bylo málo, ale taky se málo platilo, takže s tím člověk mohl nějak vyžít.

Někdy na Vánoce sedmdesátého šestého roku za mnou přišel myslím Miloš Hájek, můj kolega historik, také byl členem Výboru pro dějiny národního osvobození, a řekl mi, že se připravuje akce, která není protizákonná, naopak jejím cílem je, aby vláda dodržovala vlastní zákony a nařízení. A s tím jsem bez váhání souhlasil, podepsal jsem a tak jsem se stal jedním z asi sto padesáti prvních signatářů Charty 77 28. Okamžitě se kolem toho strhl pokřik, ačkoliv text Charty skoro nikdo nečetl, protože se nesměla publikovat, vysílala o ní jen Svobodná Evropa 29 a Hlas Ameriky nebo kolovala v samizdatu 23. Lidem to ale nevadilo, hned se stavěli proti zrádcům a rozvratníkům, podepisovali Antichartu. Tak se dělo i v Národním divadle, dodnes je to ostuda české kultury. U mě v bytě se pak konala domovní prohlídka, obraceli mi knihy vzhůru nohama, hledali nějaký kontrarevoluční spis. Podařilo se jim najít rukopis mé knihy. Hned ho dali stranou, zdál se jim podezřelý. Ovšem byli to takoví dosti primitivové, takže já, když jsem viděl, že se obrátili, jsem ho zase vzal a schoval jinam. Kdyby mi ho byli zabavili, byl by s knihou konec, poněvadž jsem ještě neměl kopii. Zabavili nám spoustu hloupostí, například nějakou dětskou tiskárničku, kterou si děti skládají z gumových písmenek. Ti idioti si mysleli, že to je corpus delicti a že s tím vyvíjím ilegální časopiseckou činnost. Pak chtěli ještě prohledat sklep, šel jsem tam s nimi, a řekl jsem si, tak teď vás teda hoši vytrestám. Ve sklepě byla všude vrstva prachu a i jim bylo jasné, že se tu asi žádná kontrarevoluce v dohledné minulosti nekonala, takže chtěli zase odejít. Ale já jsem řekl, to teda ne, vy jste placení za to, že tady provedete dobrou práci, já platím daně, takže to tady prohledat prostě musíte… Vlastně jsem pro ně ani nebyl tak velká ryba, jiní chartisti, třeba ti, co byli mluvčími, na tom byli hůř.

S ostatními chartisty jsme se v podstatě dál scházeli jako přátelé. Takový okruh našich známých, ti, kteří byli ve Výboru pro dějiny národního osvobození, všichni Chartu podepsali. Takže my jsme se dál scházeli ne jako chartisti, ale jako přátelé, kolegové, historikové. A pak taky, další kamarádi k nám chodili mýt okna. Nebylo to drahé, tak jsme si řekli, co bychom to dělali my, když si na to můžeme zavolat firmu, a firma nám vždycky poslala nějakého kamaráda, který u ní pracoval. Tak k nám takto chodili Dientsbier [český novinář, politik, diplomat – pozn. red], kardinál Vlk [český disident, katolický kněz, nyní pražský kardinál – pozn. red.], Dobrovský [český disident, diplomat – pozn. red.], Jaroslav Šedivý a taky Rudolf Battěk.  

Rudolf Battěk je takové enfant terrible sociální demokracie, byl několikrát zatčený a jednou, osmadvacátého října, si pro něj přišli zrovna, když u nás umýval okna. Den předtím se měl nahlásit na policii, to ale neudělal a druhý den byl objednaný u nás. Battěk umýval okna a najednou někdo zazvonil. Prvně přišli dva, když ale odmítl s nimi odejít, prý půjde, až dokončí svou práci, tak si přivedli ještě třetího jako posilu. No byla to situace hrozná, on v okně, křičel, že jestli udělají ještě krok, okno rozbije a skočí. Okno dokonce i rozbil. Moje žena, která je velmi duchapřítomná, taky už byla dosti rozrušená, ale napadlo ji předstírat hysterický záchvat. Praštila sebou na zem, šermovala rukama a řvala, že on skáče z okna, ať odejdou. Tak se lekli, jeden v okně, jedna sebou smýká na zemi, a odešli pryč. To, že k nám chodili policajti do bytu, to byla jejich zvyklost.

Taky jsme byli odposloucháváni. Jednou v sobotu, když byla má žena sama doma, ležela na posteli a slyšela přes zeď jakýsi šramot, škrabání, vrtání a protahování něčeho… Bylo to velmi nápadné, protože jsme sousedili se školou, kde nikdo neměl v sobotu odpoledne co dělat, všude byl klid, sousedé odjeli z Prahy, na ulicích nikdo nebyl. Trvalo to asi půl hodiny a když to skončilo, vykoukla oknem a viděla, že z té školy odchází čtyři muži s aktovkami. Bylo jasné, že nám zabudovali odposlech. Vlastně nám to bylo jedno, politicky jsme mluvili otevřeně, takže si to klidně mohli poslechnout. Po osmdesátém devátém 30 se mi dostal do rukou plánek našeho bytu, který při instalaci odposlechu použili. Nakreslil ho jeden náš dobrý známý, s nímž jsme se často stýkali.

Moje žena pracovala patnáct let v Akademii [Československá akademie věd] a dalších patnáct let u kýblu jako uklizečka, a to na třech různých místech. Taky měla problémy, aby vůbec nějakou práci sehnala, byla odmítnuta asi na devětačtyřiceti místech, než vůbec něco díky nějaké protekci našla. Místo uklizečky nebylo nějak dobře honorované, dostávala asi třetinu svého předchozího platu, ale mělo to tu výhodu, že si práci mohla udělat v podstatě kdykoli a i já jsem jí mohl v práci pomoct nebo za ni zaskočit. Nejdéle pracovala a nejraději vzpomíná na dobu, kdy uklízela v Divadelním ústavu v Celetné, bylo to tam po rekonstrukci, pěkné prostředí, pěkně se tam k ní chovali… Byl tam sál, kde je dnes divadlo Kašpar, a v tom sále vždycky dopoledne zkoušelo Smetanovo kvarteto. Tak s tím se velice spřátelila. Měla celkem čas, v té době začala cvičit jógu, má žena je také vegetariánka. V roce osmdesát sedm šla do důchodu.

Doma jsme každý večer poslouchali Svobodnou Evropu 29, ovšem Svobodná Evropa tady v Praze chytit nešla, takže jsem se naučil polsky a poslouchal ji v polštině. Ta byla nerušená. Pak jsme také poslouchali Hlas Ameriky a trochu BBC. Dcera mi říkala, hele, tati, já potřebuju teď ve škole, abys mi řekl to a to o té situaci, ale prosím tě neříkej mi, jak to říká Svobodná Evropa, řekni to tak, jak to mám říct ve škole já. Dcera dobře věděla co a co, co se může a co se nemůže, ta opravdu prokoukla režim velmi brzy.

Mé dceři nebylo umožněno dostat se na vysokou školu, ačkoliv měla nejlepší známky, nejlepší doporučení, udělala nejlepší přijímací zkoušky, ale Brodová prostě byla na indexu, tak ji automaticky odložili stranou a už je nezajímala. Dělala pak několik let v různých obchodech aranžérku. V osmdesátých letech přijel do Prahy jeden Američan, můj budoucí zeť, Richard Hyland. Předtím pobýval nějaký čas na studiích  v Německu a dostal od jednoho mého známého doporučení, že až bude v Praze, má se stavit u Brodových. Tak se stavil a padli si se Šárkou do oka.

Richard je žid a vlastně až přes něj se Šárka k židovství dostala a začala se o to víc zajímat, my jsme ji k tomu nevychovávali. Až v této době jsem jí řekl o tom, co se se mnou a s mnou rodinou dělo za války. Jinak se o tom doma nemluvilo. Když se mě ptala, co to mám na ruce za číslo, řekl jsem, že to je telefon. Nechtěl jsem o tom nějak mluvit, vlastně celkově ne moc rád mluvím o sobě. Teď jsem se toho snad už částečně zbavil, ale dřív jsem hodně dlouho o tom mluvit nechtěl. Snad jsem se za to styděl. Styděl jsem se, že to byla taková doba ubohosti. Ponížení a ubohosti. Odnesl jsem si z války komplexy, že nejsem plnohodnotný, plnoprávný člověk, že se pořád musím nějak stylizovat do toho, že jsem rovnoprávný občan. Moje vzpomínky a všecko se to nějak tak zapletlo a zkazilo. Šárka tedy moc nenaléhala. Začala naléhat teprve, když byla dospělá.

Nevím, jestli Šárce říkala něco moje paní nebo paní Kopská, děti se o to moc nezajímaly. Myslím, že naše osudy za války tenkrát nikoho nějak moc nazajímaly, zájem o holocaust a o židy je záležitostí  posledních desíti, patnácti let. Za socialismu nebylo moc žádoucí o tom mluvit, židé byli v podstatě sionisty a to byla prodloužená ruka amerického imperialismu, Izrael, židé, to všechno bylo velmi podezřelé. Nedávno jsem se sešel se svými bývalými kolegy z Vojenského historického ústavu a ti říkali, že vůbec nevěděli, že jsem něco takového zažil. A to se mnou pracovali několik let. Bylo známo, že jsem žid, ale buď je to nezajímalo nebo se styděli na něco se zeptat. Stud byl oboustranný. Já jsme se styděl za to, že jsem byl takový chudák, oni se styděli za to, že prožili válku v klidu a v bezpečí. Asi, snad, nevím.

Když tedy Šárka potkala svého židovského muže, začala se o můj osud zajímat. Požádala mě, abych sepsal vzpomínky, tak jsem udělal. Nevím, jak to na ni zapůsobilo, Šárka je v tomto ohledu intorvert a nedává své city najevo. Jestli se potom o holocaust zajímala víc, hlouběji, to nemůžu říct. Taky nevím, s kým jiným by se o tom bavila. Z příbuzných se nikdo nevrátil a já jsem též neudržoval styky s nikým, kdo by měl podobný osud.

Prakticky jsem ani židovské kamarády, se kterými bych se o tom mohl bavit, neměl. Byli v cizině a já s nimi mohl znovu navázat kontakt až po revoluci. Tehdy také jsem se začal  stýkat s osvětimskými spoluvězni žijícími u nás. V podstatě jsem předtím vůbec nevěděl, že v Praze ještě nějací další osvětimští zajatci žijí. Sám jsem je nevyhledával, je totiž fakt, že jsem se o tuto problematiku začal hlouběji zabývat až před těmi patnácti lety. Tenkrát vlastně ani žádná literatura k tomuto tématu nebyla. A pokud ano, šlo jen o propagandu. Ale několikrát jsem vedl své známé do Terezína. Návštěva Terezína za komunistů byla fraška. Vůbec se tu o židech nemluvilo, všechny návštěvy jezdily na Malou pevnost a tam si fotografovaly nápis Arbeit macht frei a mysleli, že toto bylo ghetto. V Jugendheimu, kde jsme bydleli, bylo muzeum policie. Jel jsem do Terezína jednou s jedním Američanem, který se holocaustem zabýval. Chtěl vědět, kde bylo v Terezíně vězení. Zjistili jsme, že se nacházelo v nějaké policejní stanici, šli jsme se tam tedy podívat do sklepa, kde byl nějaký policista a vše nám ukazoval. Nevěděl ovšem, že můj společník je Američan. Když to zjistil, zděsil se a zakázal nám fotografovat. Nějaké snímky se nám ale přesto podařilo pořídit. Jednou také přijela má stará příbuzná z Německa a chtěla vidět v Terezíně kasárna, v nichž byla ubytovaná. Vzal jsem jí tam, důstojník, který vyšel z brány, byl nejdřív docela vstřícný, jenže když jsme mu měli dát své průkazy a ona předložila svůj německý, byl konec. Žádná návštěva nebyla, dovnitř nás vůbec nevpustili.

Rodina mého budoucího zeťě se přestěhovala do Ameriky už začátkem dvacátého století, prakticky se jich tedy události druhé světové války nedotkly. Rick se vlastně s holocaustem setkal až na studiích v Evropě. Šárka a Richard se v osmdesátém druhém roce vzali. Měli židovskou svatbu, dcera konvertovala k židovství, nebyla totiž halachická židovka. Mikve [rituální koupel – pozn. red.] byla ve Vltavě, kde se Šárka rituálně očistila, pak ještě musela jít pod sprchu, aby se očistila od té špíny, co jinak ve Vltavě plave. Svatba se konala ve Staronové synagoze a na židovské radnici. Byla to veliká událost, přijely desítky hostů, taky tchán z Ameriky, který to celé financoval. Samozřejmě, že se o to zajímala i policie, ale v osmdesátých letech už byla přeci jenom ta doba mírnější.

Pro Šárku bylo vysvobození, že si Richarda vzala. Od osmdesátých let platilo, že když si dívka vezme cizince, automaticky s ním může vyjet. Nejprve se tedy odstěhovali do Německa, tam nějakou dobu žili a asi po dvou letech se odstěhovali do Ameriky, kde žijí dodnes. Nejprve bydleli ve Washingtonu, Šárka zde vystudovala na Yale design, pak bydleli nějakou dobu v Miami, kde její muž přednášel na univerzitě, Richard je právník a přednáší hodně, teď opět žijí na východním pobřeží ve Filadelfii. Šárka pracuje jako grafik-designer, navrhuje obálky na knihy, výstavy, taky přednáší na univerzitě. Má velké štěstí, že se vlastně věnuje svému koníčku, dělá to, co jí baví.

V osmdesátých letech bylo už snadnější vyjíždět do ciziny, režim už bral ohledy na to, když měl člověk nějaké blízké příbuzné v cizině, tak asi jednou za rok jsme ji měli dovoleno navštívit. Pak už ani nekontrolovali, jak moc se s dcerou v zahraničí potkáváme, prostě jsme získali výjezdní doložku a mohli jsme vyjet. Naposledy takhle jsme byli ještě v létě osmdesátého devátého roku v Západním Berlíně, když jsme potom přejížděli přes hranice, zase se nám to snažili co nejvíc znepříjemnit, udělali nám důkladnou prohlídku a zabavili knihy, které jsme vezli.

Za vlády komunistů se v Československu velmi poničilo životní prostředí. My jsme bydleli v Masné ulici, tedy kousek od Náměstí Republiky, kde prý byl nejhorší vzduch v celé Praze. Na Starém Městě, kde jsme bydleli, prý bylo nedýchatelno. Také moje žena trpěla různými dechovými potížemi, ale mě to nikdy nepřipadlo. Říkají mi, že už nemám žádný cit, žádné dechové a chuťové buňky, tudíž jsem vůči špatnému ovzduší imunní. Opravdu, mně  to nikdy tak zlé nepřipadalo. Bydlení v Masné ulici mělo i výhody, je tu takové náměstíčko a v podstatě to tenkát byla vesnice. Žádné auto tam nepřejelo, lidé seděli venku, večer chodili na debaty… Byla  to opravdu taková oáza klidu. Dneska už tam jsou samé hospody, spousta turistů, normální obchody vymizely. Dnes už to taková idylka není, auta tam také jezdí.
 

Léto osmdesátého devátého roku byla taková vzrušující doba 30. Změny v Polsku 31, v Maďarsku už částečně proběhly, pak na podzim byla ta anabáze Němců, to bylo ještě před tím, než v Německu padla zeď, Němci se snažili prvně přes Maďarsko a pak i přes nás dostat na Západ. To si pamatuji, že jsem šel k  německému velvyslanectví na Malou Stranu a tam byly zástupy Němců, jejich auta stála všude po celém Petříně a po celé Malé Straně. Nechávali je tam, snažili se ze všech sil dostat se na půdu německého velvyslanectví. A pak se už blížil náš Listopad 30. Ještě na počátku roku osmdesát devět se konaly v Praze demonstrace, které se nazývají Palachův týden [Jan Palach (1948-1969): český student, který se 16. ledna roku 1969 na protest proti okupaci Československa vojsky Varšavské smlouvy upálil na pražském Václavském náměstí. Palachův týden - řada protestních demonstrací k 20. výročí upálení Jana Palacha v lednu 1989. Týden protestů vyvrcholil poutí k Palachovu hrobu ve Všetatech. Policisté tvrdě zasahovali proti demonstrantům, tisíce lidí se k cíli ani nedostaly – pozn. red.]. Zasahovala při nich policie, tak jsem zažil, jak na nás vzali vodní děla, zatýkali lidi a mlátili je obušky. Já jsem se nějakým přímým střetům s policií vyhnul, prostě když začali stříkat, tak jsem se vždycky schoval za nějaký roh, aby mě to nesmetlo. Určitě to nebylo moc příjemné dostat v lednu zásah proudem studené vody, takže já jsem byl takovým jakýmsi souputníkem, ale neutrpěl jsem žádnou úhonu. Pak samozřejmě byly ještě demonstrace osmadvacátého října, to už vše spělo k sedmnáctému listopadu.
 

Po roce 1989

Na sedmnáctý listopad svolali studenti nějakou demonstraci na Albertov, šel jsem tam ještě s nějakými přáteli taky. Už to byla taková zvláštní atmosféra, ale nemyslím si, že by se dala charakterizovat jako vysloveně revoluční. Provolávala se třeba nějaká hesla o pravdě, ovšem vysloveně protikomunistické to asi ještě nebylo. Šlo se nahoru na Vyšehrad, myslím, že tam chtěli dát nějaké květiny k Máchovi 32, pak, spontánně, šel průvod zase zpátky dolů, nabyl na síle a dole pod Vyšehradem se rozdvojil. Jedna jeho část šla po nábřeží, ta dorazila potom na Národní třídu, no a druhá část, ve které jsem byl i já, šla Vyšehradskou ulicí, kde nás u Botanické zahrady na tom náměstíčku zastavil kordón policistů. Nebylo žádné násilí, průvod se zastavil a čekal. Nevěděl jsme, že ten průvod má ještě jednu odnož, tak jsem si řekl, co tady budu koukat na ty policajty, nějakou postranní uličkou jsme to obešli, dostali jsme se na Karlovo náměstí a ahoj, jeli jsme domů. Vůbec jsem netušil, že se něco bude dít. Moje žena byla tehdy zrovna někde venku, mimo Prahu, večer jsem si pustil Svobodnou Evropu a teď hlásili, že je masakr na Národní třídě. Uvědomil jsem si, to už není žádná legrace, už jde o vážnou věc. Další den vyhlásili herci Realistického divadla stávku, pak se přidali studenti a celé to nabíralo na síle, začínalo být jasné, že jde o revoluci. Revoluce nemusí být vždycky krvavá, revoluce znamená zásadní společenský převrat. Konec jednoho společenského systému a začátek jiného. Bezesporu v tomto ohledu to revoluce byla. Padla komunistická vláda, konaly se demonstrace na Václavském náměstí... Zpočátku televize události bojkotovala, ale po několika dnech už všem bylo jasné, že je v proudu něco, co nejde potlačit, nedá se zamlčet. Měl jsem známé v Melantrichu, jeho budova dodnes stojí na Václavském náměstí, i když Melantrich samotný už nefunguje. Zde na balkóně bylo středisko Občanského fóra 33, konaly se tu projevy. Já sice nebyl na balkóně, ale bylo mi umožněno dívat se na všechno z jeho okna, takže jsem byl bezprostředně u toho. Bylo to ohromné, všude visely plakáty „Konec vlády jedné strany“, prostě skvělá atmosféra.

Tak jsme se po dlouhé době konečně dočkali změny. Na Letné se konala shromáždění… Sice nějaké obavy jsme měli, že by se to ještě mohlo zvrtnout, ale v podstatě situace se už tak změnila, že Sovětský svaz by si nevzal na triko, aby tady byla nějaká krvavá lázeň, no a naši představitelé byli taky zbabělí, takže lidové milice se vrátily zpět a armáda zůstala v kasárnách. Každý den přinášel něco nového, najednou měla vláda být složena už nejenom z komunistů, pak se ukázalo, že komunistů tam má být víc, tak lidé zase protestovali, prostě pořád se něco dělo… Hodně se mluvilo o tom, že jsme zase poslední. Že to je zase hanba. Už padlo Polsko, padlo Maďarsko, v Německu se zhroutila zeď, jenom Československo zase vypadalo, že bude poslední, kdo se osvobodí.

Samozřejmě jsme si říkali, že ta všeobecná euforie nevydrží dlouho. Že zpočátku budou lidé nadšení, ale po čase, když se ukáže, že žádná revoluce nemůže nikdy splnit všechna očekávání, které do ní vkládají, a že k moci se dostanou nikoliv idealisté, kteří mají plno ideálů, ale žádnou organizaci, nýbrž hoši s ostrými lokty, tak mi bylo jasné, že za pár let budou lidi vzpomínat na komunismus. Poněvadž to tady bylo laciné, lidi nepotřebovali svobodu, na co by jim byla svoboda slova, když mohli sedět v hospodách a pít laciné pivo? Do ciziny se taky člověk, který nebyl poznamenán, jednou za čas na nějakou tu výjezdní doložku dostal, takže lidem prakticky nic nechybělo. Co si nakradli, to měli. Krást se mohlo, poněvadž vláda říkala: my předstíráme, že vás platíme, vy předstíráte, že pracujete. A tak lidi kradli, bylo to naprosto obvyklé, kdo nekradl byl hlupák, a prakticky jim moc nechybělo. Komunismus už nebyl takový krvavý, jako byl v padesátých letech. Husák [president Československé socialistické republiky  pozn. red.] už byl senilní, pak nastoupil ten idiot Jakeš 34, z něho si lidi dělali legraci… tak samozřejmě, policajti byli tvrdí pořád, obušky měli pořád v rukou, ale kdo nešel na demonstraci, tomu se nic nestalo. Tudíž nespokojenost byla skutečně jenom mezi intelektuály a lidmi, kteří byli nějak stigmatizováni. Bylo velké štěstí, že se k demonstrujícím přidali i dělníci z ČKD. Problém tady ovšem byl, že nebylo vládu komu předat. Myslím, že disidenti typu Havel 35,  Vondra [Saša (Alexandr) Vondra, nar. 1961. Geograf, signatář Charty 77. V únoru 1989 odsouzen na dva měsíce ztráty svobody. V době od 2.1.1989 do 6.1.1990 mluvčí Charty 77. Po nástupu o výkonu trestu jej ve funkci mluvčího 52 dnů zastupoval Václav Havel – pozn. red.], Malý [český disident, katolický kněz, biskup – pozn. red.] byli spíše duchovní lidé, kteří o moc nějak zvlášť nestáli. Tak se u nás postupně dostali k moci lidé, kteří sice nějací bojovníci proti komunismu nebyli, ale kteří se vyznali a dokázali se protlačit.

Já jsem se pak mohl vrátit zpět od Ústavu pro dějiny východní Evropy. Sice tam bylo jiné vedení, ale já už nebyl zvyklý na nějakou disciplínu. Chtěl jsem si říkat a dělat to, co chci, nebyl jsem ochotný poslouchat nějaká nařízení a dodržovat nějaké řády, takže jsem se s nimi radši po půl druhém roce rozloučil a šel zpátky do důchodu. Protože nebyly peníze, tak ten ústav stejně zanikl, stal se součástí Historického ústavu Akademie věd. Materiálně jsme s manželkou zajištěni byli, dceru jsme měli venku, takže nám mohla pomoct, taky jsem dostal nějaké odškodnění za pobyt v koncentračním táboře od české vlády a od Němců, což nám koneckonců pomohlo, když jsme si pořizovali tento byt. Dům, ve kterém jsme bydleli v Masné ulici, se předělával, proto jsme se v polovině devadesátých let museli přestěhovat, našli jsme si bydlení v Bubenči. Měli jsme na něm dost práce, když jsme ho kupovali, byt byl ve velmi dezolátním stavu, no ale zútulnili jsme ho a žije se nám tady dobře. Pak jsem také mohl publikovat to, co dříve kolovalo jen v samizdatu, mohl jsem přednášet, publikovat články, za to byly nějaké honoráře, takže to vypadalo, že budeme materiálně zajištěni, nakonec jsme se starali už jen o nás dva.

Když vznikl Izrael, vlastně jsem to ani nijak nereflektoval. Jednak jsem byl v osmačtyřicátém roce pořád ještě nemocný, dožívala má neschopnost zařadit se do společnosti, takže jsem Izrael prakticky začal vnímat teprve v době Slánského procesu 17 a pak hlavně při sedmidenní válce. Tenkrát všichni intelektuálové, včetně komunistických, byli pro Izrael. Každou hodinu jsem poslouchal zprávy Svobodné Evropy nebo BBC, abych věděl, jak vypadá situace na frontě. Byla to hrozná situace, kdyby byl Izrael tehdy nezaútočil, už by neexistoval. To je právě ta otázka preventivní války. Preventivní válka je někdy tak životně nutná, zejména pro Izrael, že se o tom nedá diskutovat. Jakýpak pacifismus? Prostě válka je někdy nutná, morálně ospravedlnitelná, kdežto pacifismus je někdy morálně naprosto shnilý. Pacifismus byl před válkou ve Francii, co by bojovali, když Verdun jim zničil celou mužskou populaci? Kdežto v Německu žádný pacifismus nebyl a jak to dopadlo? To je naprosto jednoznačná věc, celou svou bytostí, celým svým rozumem jsem na straně Izraele. Vím, že to je velmi složitá situace, koneckonců i v rámci Izraele jsou konstruktivní i destruktivní síly. Hlavní ale je, aby Izrael našel partnera, s kterým je možno jednat, který je důvěryhodný. Nesouhlasím s tím, aby Izrael vyměňoval území za mír, to jsem jim tam taky říkal, když jsem Izrael navštívil. Protože uzavřete mír s jedním představitelem, oni ho pak zavraždí, a bude po míru. A nebude ani území, ani mír. To je dobře, že my jsme pro mír, ale i ti ostatní musí být upřímně pro mír, a musí být stabilní, mít vliv, aby ho taky dokázali prosadit. Tak ještě uvidíme, jaký bude tento Mahmúd Abbás [bývalý palestinský premiér a nástupce Jásira Arafata – pozn. red.] . Zdá se, že to myslí upřímně, ale jestli bude mít i tolik vlivu, aby to dokázal prosadit, to nevím. Takže já nikomu radit nebudu nic. To oni musí sami vědět, jestli mohou mír s někým uzavřít, jestli mohou vyklidit Gazu, jestli mohou vyklidit Západní břeh, to všechno musí vědět oni. Ale je to riziko, určitě.

Já jsem byl v Izraeli jednou v devadesátém šestém roce, židovská obec tenkrát pořádala takový zájezd pro lidi, kteří v Izraeli ještě nebyli. Celkem laciný zájezd, zaplatil jsem asi jenom deset tisíc za nějaké ty režijní poplatky, a strávil jsem tam týden. Bydleli jsme v Natánii v hotelu, cestovali jsme po celé zemi. Řeknu vám, Izrael na mě zapůsobil smíšeně. Na jedné straně jsem obdivoval tu obrovskou práci, kterou tam udělali, to zavodňování a péči o krajinu, na druhou stranu jsem byl zklamán špínou, která tam je. Tak samozřejmě, Golanské výšiny na mě udělaly obrovský dojem. Tady jsem si uvědomil, jak jsou strategicky důležité. Jeruzalém jsme navštívili, Jad Vašem jsem viděl, Staré Město, koupali jsme se v Mrtvém moři a skutečně to je moře, kde se nemůžete utopit. Byl to velký zážitek, to musím uznat, ale že bych byl nadšen? Jednak co se týče přírody, pořád je to pro mě taková vyprahlá země. Samozřejmě, nemají tolik vody, aby mohli zavlažit celou zemi, tak tam, kde můžou, tam je to ohromné, ale pořád je tam ještě obrovské množství pouště. A jak říkám, špína, podél dálnice se válejí odpadky… no tak není to země, kde bych chtěl žít, to teda ne. Jednak je tam horko a já mám radši severské kraje než jižní. Izrael jsme navštívili v říjnu a pořád tam bylo kolem třiceti stupňů, je pravda, že to není tak nesnesitelné, jako je Florida, Florida je pro mě absolutně nesnesitelná, ale nedokážu si ani představit, jaké to tam musí být třeba v červnu.

V Izraeli bydlela jeden čas má teta Růženka, manželka Jindřicha Petrovského, a její syn Mario se ženou. Odstěhovali se tam po invazi do Československa v šedesátém osmém 24, to si řekli, že to tady určitě bude zase pro židy zlé, tak se odstěhují. Dcera tety Růženky, má sestřenice Eva, byla vdaná za nějakého doktora, tak ta s nimi nešla. V Izraeli bydleli v Natánii, Mário byl vyučený kuchař, tak se tam dokonce stal šéfkuchařem v nějakém hotelu a nežilo se jim špatně. Kontakt jsme spolu udržovali víceméně formální, jednak co jsem jim vlastně měl psát, nebylo vždycky žádoucí udržovat styky s Izraelem. Měl jsem psát o tom, jak žiji? To nebylo možné, tady byla cenzura, tak jsme psali jen takové nějaké formální věci stylu kde jsme byli na dovolené, opravdu, korespondence byla dosti formální. Když padl v Československu komunistický režim, vrátili se a podařilo se jim restituovat rozsáhlý majetek, který patřil Petrovským. Teta už nežije, zemřela ve velmi vysokém věku, měla přes devadesát let, často jsem ji chodil navštěvovat, když byla tady v Praze v nemocnici. Nežije už ani má sestřenice, no a Mario pendluje se svou rodinou mezi Prahou a Izraelem, protože tam ještě mají byt. Stýkáme se, ale ne nijak často, máme odlišné zájmy, každý žijeme odlišný život.

V současné době se třeba zaměstnávám tím, že přednáším na různých přednáškách. Ne, že bych měl nějaký stabilní úvazek nebo někde své přednášky nutil, ale když prostě někdo chce, tak pro něj tu přednášku udělám. Přednášel jsem takto například pro učitele, kteří se doškolovali, přednáším i na různých školách v Praze i mimo Prahu. Jedinou mou podmínkou je, aby na to lidé, třeba ti žáci, přišli dobrovolně a měli o to zájem. A opravdu se mi nestává, že by se chovali nějak neslušně, nedávali pozor nebo odcházeli dřív. Snažím se vždycky třeba propojit povídání o židovské genocidě s nějakými příběhy, které jsou třeba dramatické, tak asi je to zaujme. Prakticky jsem ta nejmladší generace, která ještě může o válce vykládat ze svých vzpomínek. Možná jsou ještě nějací, kteří se narodili za války, třeba v koncentračním táboře nebo v ghettu, ale ti nejsou schopni o tom vyprávět. Kdežto já si pamatuji na minulost, pamatuji si ty zkušenosti, navíc je mohu obohatit jistými historickými znalostmi, srovnávat osobní zážitky s obecnými poznatky, tak myslím, že je to celkem zajímavé. Ovšem, jakmile my odpadneme, tak pak už budou muset zase to vykládat jenom odborníci. Mívám také přednášky tady na Židovském vzdělávacím centru v Praze, jezdím se studenty do Terezína, kde jim o tom povídám… Jednou se mě někdo z nich zeptal, jestli je to pro mě pořád bolestná záležitost přednášet o holocaustu. Tak jsem řekl, že jsem profesionál, že se přece nemůžu dojímat nad svým osudem při každé přednášce, to bych tu přednášku strašně znehodnotil. To nejde mít při přednášce nějaký hysterický záchvat. Určitá profesionalita vám brání v tom, abyste projevoval své city. Můžete to říkat s určitým zanícením, s určitým prožitkem, ale nemůžete podléhat záchvatům, lomit rukama, to nejde.

Jak jsem už řekl, nedávno mi vyšla kniha, kterou považuji za své celoživotní dílo, týká se vztahu Československa a Sovětského svazu.

Máme vnučku, jmenuje se Rivka, Rebeka, a narodila se před deseti lety. Říká mi, že jsem jakýsi dinosaurus, tedy vlastně člověk z minulého, dvacátého století... Ačkoliv žije v Americe, umí perfektně česky, dokonce i píše velice dobře, za což ji obdivuji, myslím, že mnohé české dítě by to tak nezvládlo. Několikrát do roka jezdí za námi, to se pak vždycky zdrží nějakou dobu, v létě tady bývá na celé prázdniny. Má tu kamarádky, chodíme do divadla, jezdíme na výlety… Teď bude přecházet na jinou školu, tak se těší, že začne nosit školní uniformu.

Rivka je vychovávána v tom, že je židovka. Doma třeba slavívají erev šabat, dřív chodili na jídlo do restaurace, teď už hodně bývají doma. Když k nám jednou přijeli a měla se slavit chanuka, slavili jsme chanuku. Rivka byla zahalená, tak, jak to má být. Rivka říká, že má ráda křesťany, protože mají Vánoce, slavíme i Vánoce. Myslím, že v dceřině domácnosti se židovské zvyky hodně dodržovaly přinejmenším dřív, byli hodně ortodoxní, teď nevím, jak moc ještě. Určitě jí košer, nejí vepřové. Když jsme u nich jednou byli na návštěvě v době, kdy je Pesach, nesměli jsme si žádné pečivo přinést do bytu. Asi dvakrát nebo třikrát jsme je byli navštívit v Americe, teď už tam nechci, východní pobřeží už pro mě není zajímavé, jejich styl života je takový, že jsou pořád zaměstnaní a my tam sedíme a koukáme. Já bych třeba se chtěl podívat na západní pobřeží, do Kalifornie, Grand Kaňonu, Yellowstonského parku, jenomže to nepřichází v úvahu. Philadelphii znám, New York znám, Chicago znám, Washington znám, tak už tam pro mě není nic, co bych potřeboval vědět nebo znát. Takže jsem radši, když oni přijedou sem, tady na ně máme čas.

Rivka ví, co bylo za války a velmi se o to zajímá, samozřejmě. Já se snažím být jí v tom nápomocen, například jsem ji zavedl do Vojenského historického muzea na výstavu o Hendrichovi, hodně jí vyprávím… Chce vědět různé podrobnosti, má ještě takové dětské otázky. Taky třeba už ví to, že bude mít tři děti a jedno z nich se bude jmenovat Hanuš, po mém bratrovi. Toman ne, má prý po mě geny, to jí stačí.

Samozřejmě souhlasím s tím, že Česká republika má být součástí organizací jako je Evropská unie, NATO… Je to jediná cesta, která je možná a taky nutná a dobrá. Jestli se Evropská unie udrží, vše bude v pořádku. Problém je, že Evropská unie není takovou zemí, jako je Amerika, která integrovala všechny přistěhovalce a udělala z nich Američany. Evropan pravděpodobně nebude nikdy Evropanem, kdežto bude Francouzem, Němcem, Angličanem, možná, že za několik generací se to změní, každopádně to je cesta, která bude velmi dlouho trvat. Je velmi složitá, plná úskalí a nedorozumění, ale je třeba ji nastoupit. Takže když se hlasovalo o vstupu do Evropské unie, hlasovali jsme pro, pokud se bude hlasovat o evropské ústavě, budu hlasovat i pro ni.

Jako dítě první republiky jsem byl vychováván k tomu být vlastencem. Teď už se jím necítím. Vlastenectví je pro mě přežitek devatenáctého nebo poloviny dvacátého století. Já se cítím být občanem této země, myslím, že občan je člověk, který si má být vědom svých práv a povinností vůči tomuto státu. Jsem rád, že žiji v této zemi, ale vždycky se zlobím, když mi někdo řekne, že je hrdý na to, že je Čech. To si myslím, že by se měl taky stydět za to, že je Čech. Stačí vzpomenout, co Češi všechno způsobili, jakou mají tradici, že to nejsou jenom ti bájní husité, kteří mimochodem taky byli pěkní gauneři, a tak dále a tak dále. Takže já na to, že jsem Čech, hrdý nejsem, ale mám rád tuhle zemi, mám rád tento jazyk, mám rád tuto kulturu, na druhou stranu znám taky úskalí, které se s touto zemí a s tímto lidem pojí. Vlastenectví nepociťuji žádné, pociťuji zodpovědnost.Takže se snažím chovat jako člověk, který nějak přispívá naší dobré pověsti.

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1 První československá republika (1918-1938)

byla založena po rozpadu rakousko-uherské monarchie po první světové válce. Spojení českých zemí a Slovenska bylo oficiálně vyhlášeno v Praze roku 1918 a formálně uznáno smlouvou ze St. Germain roku 1919. Podkarpatská Rus byla připojena smlouvou z Trianonu roku 1920.

Ústava z roku 1920 ustanovila poměrně centralizovaný stát a příliš neřešila problém národnostních menšin. To se však promítlo do vnitřního politického života, kterému naopak dominoval neustálý odpor národnostních menšin proti československé vládě.    

2 Protižidovské zákony v Protektorátu Čechy a Morava

po německé okupace Čech a Moravy byla postupně zaváděna protižidovská legislativa. Židé nesměli chodit na veřejná místa, tj. parky, divadla, kina, koupaliště atd. Byli vyloučeni ze všech profesních asociací a nemohli být veřejnosti sloužící osoby.

Nesměli navštěvovat německé a české školy, později jim byly zakázány i soukromé hodiny. Židé nesměli opouštět svá obydlí po 20. hodině. Mohli nakupovat jen mezi 15. - 17. hodinou. Mohli cestovat jen v oddělených částech prostředků veřejné dopravy. Byly jim zkonfiskovány telefony a rádia. Bez povolení se nesměli přestěhovat. Od roku 1941 museli nosit žlutou hvězdu. 

3 Hilsneriáda

v roce 1899 byl Žid Leopold Hilsner obviněn z rituální vraždy Anežky Hrůzové. Během prvního soudního řízení média podnítila protižidovské nálady u veřejnosti a soudních institucí. Hilsner byl odsouzen k trestu smrti. Jeho obhájce stejně jako T. G. Masaryk se snažili demytologizovat pověry o rituální vraždě. V roce 1901 mu císař František Josef I. prominul trest smrti a Hilsner byl odsouzen na doživotí. V roce 1918 mu císař Karel I. udělil milost.  
4 Mnichovská dohoda: podepsána Německem, Itálií, Velkou Británií a Francií roku 1938. Umožňovala Německu okupovat Sudety (pohraniční oblast osídlenou německou menšinou). Představitelé Československa se jednání nezúčastnili. Maďarsku a Polsku byla také přislíbena část území Československa: Maďarsko okupovalo jižní a východní Slovensko a část Podkarpatské Rusy, Polsko okupovalo Těšín a část Slezska. Československo tak ztratilo rozsáhlá ekonomická a strategicky důležitá teritoria v pohraničních oblastech (asi třetinu z celého území).

5 Španělská občanská válka (1936-39)

občanská válka ve Španělsku probíhala v období od července 1936 do května 1939 a to mezi rebely (Nacionales, tj. nacionalisté) na straně jedné a španělskou republikánskou vládou na straně druhé. Levicová vláda byla nakonec poražena nacionalisty pod vedením generála Franca, který byl podporován nacistickým Německem a fašistickou Itálií. Během války bylo zabito mezi 500 000 až 1 milionem lidí.

6 Masaryk, Tomáš Garrigue (1850-1937)

československý politický vůdce, filosof a přední zakladatel První republiky. T.G.M. založil v roce 1900 Českou lidovou stranu, která usilovala o českou nezávislost v rámci rakousko-uherské monarchie, o ochranu menšin a jednotu Čechů a Slováků. Po rozpadu rakousko-uherské monarchie v roce 1918 se Masaryk stal prvním československým prezidentem. Znovu zvolen byl v roce 1920, 1927 a 1934. Mezi první rozhodnutí jeho vlády patřila rozsáhlá pozemková reforma. Masaryk rezignoval na prezidentský úřad v roce 1935 a jeho nástupcem se stal Edvard Beneš.

7 Sudety

Severozápadní pohraniční oblast, která byla velmi industrializovaná, se stala součástí nově vzniklého československého státu v roce 1918. Spolu s územím byla k Československu připojena německy mluvící menšina tří milionů obyvatel, která se stala zdrojem trvalého napětí mezi Německem, Rakouskem a Československem a uvnitř Československa. V roce 1935 vznikla Sudetoněmecká strana za finanční podpory německé vlády. Na základě Mnichovské dohody v roce 1938 okupovala německá vojska Sudety. V roce 1945 získalo Československo území zpět a na základě Postupimské dohody mohlo provést odsun německé a maďarské menšiny ze země. 

8 Vyloučení Židů z protektorátních škol

ministerstvo školství v Protektorátu Čechy a Morava vydalo v roce 1940 dekret, který zakazoval židovským dětem od školního roku 1940/41 nastoupit do českých veřejných či soukromých škol a ti, kteří již chodili do školy, byli z ní vyloučeni. Po roce 1942 bylo židovským dětem zakázáno navštěvovat i židovské školy a kurzy organizované židovskou komunitou.

9 Terezínská iniciativa

v roce 1991 se setkali bývalí vězni různých koncentračních táborů a rozhodli se založit Terezínskou iniciativu (TI), jejímž cílem je připomenutí si osudu protektorátních Židů, připomenutí si mrtvých a zdokumentování historie terezínského ghetta. Terezínská iniciativa se tedy věnuje informačním, dokumentárním, vzdělávacím a redakčním aktivitám. Finančně podporuje návštěvy českých škol v muzeu terezínského ghetta.

10 Žlutá hvězda – židovská hvězda v protektorátu

1. září 1941 byl vydán výnos, podle kterého všichni Židé starší 6 let nesmí vyjít na veřejnost bez židovské hvězdy. Tato židovská hvězda byla žlutá, ohraničená černou linií. Židé ji museli nosit připevněnou na viditelném místě na levé straně oblečení. Tento výnos začal platit od 19. září 1941. Byl to další krok ve vydělování Židů ze společnosti. Autorem této myšlenky byl Reinhard Heydrich.

11 Terezín

malé pevnostní město, které bylo v době existence Protektorátu Čechy a Morava přeměněno v ghetto, řízené SS (Schutzstaffel, Ochranný oddíl). Židé byli z Terezína transportováni do různých vyhlazovacích táborů. Čeští četníci byli využíváni k hlídání ghetta. Židé však s jejich pomocí mohli udržovat kontakty s okolním světem. Navzdory zákazu vzdělávání se v ghettu konala pravidelná výuka. V roce 1943 se rozšířily zprávy o tom, co se děje v nacistických koncentračních táborech, a proto se Němci rozhodli Terezín přetvořit na vzorové židovské osídlení s fiktivními obchody, školou, bankou atd. Do Terezína pozvali na kontrolu komisi Mezinárodního červeného kříže.

12 Heydrichiáda

období tvrdých represí proti českému odbojovému hnutí a českému národu po příchodu Reinharda Heydricha jako nového říšského protektora v Protektorátu Čechy a Morava v září 1941. Heydrich zavedl stanné právo a nechal popravit členy místního odboje. Heydrichiáda dosáhla svého vrcholu po zavraždění Heydricha v květnu 1942. Po jeho smrti bylo vyhlášeno stanné právo až do července 1942, v rámci kterého byli Češi popravováni nebo deportováni do koncentračních táborů. A města Lidice a Ležáky byly zlikvidovány. 

13 Stanné právo v protektorátu

Nacisté zareagovali na atentát na Heydricha terorem. 27. května 1942 bylo vyhlášeno stanné právo na celém teritoriu Protektorátu Čechy a Morava. Každý, kdo poskytl pomoc pachatelům nebo schvaloval atentát či nebyl přihlášen k trvalému pobytu, byl policií zastřelen. Okamžitě po atentátu byly uzavřeny veškeré výjezdy z Prahy, následovala vlna zatýkání a poprav. Jako varování byly každý den zveřejňovány seznamy popravených lidí v novinách a na rozích ulic. 

14 Lodž, ghetto

Lodžské ghetto bylo založeno v únoru 1940 v bývalé židovské čtvrti. Do oblasti o velikosti 4 km2 bylo shromážděno 164 000 Židů. Během roku 1941 a 1942 bylo do Lodže deportováno dalších 38 500 Židů. Židovská správa v čele s Mordechaiem Rumkowskym se snažila učinit ghetto co možná nejproduktivnější a zaměstnat co možná nejvíc obyvatel. Přesto v důsledku epidemií, nedostatku jídla a nevyhovujících hygienických podmínek zemřelo přibližně 43 500 Židů (21 % všech obyvatel ghetto) na podvýživu, podchlazení a nemoci. Ostatní byli transportováni do vyhlazovacích táborů a pouze malý počet z nich přežil.

15 Hirsch, Fredy (1916–1944)

vůdčí postava výchovy a vzdělání židovských dětí nejprve v Terezíně a pak v Osvětimi, kde zahynul.

16 Únor 1948

komunistické převzetí moci v Československu, které se pak stalo jedním ze sovětských satelitů ve východní Evropě. Státní aparát byl centralizovaný pod vedením Komunistické strany Československa (KSČ). Soukromé vlastnictví v hospodářství bylo zakázáno a vše bylo podřízeno centrálnímu plánování. Politická opozice a disent byli pronásledováni.

17 Slánského proces

V letech 1948-49 československá vláda spolu se Sovětským svazem podporovala myšlenku založení státu Izrael. Později se však Stalinův zájem obrátil na arabské státy a komunisté museli vyvrátit podezření, že podporovali Izrael dodávkami zbraní. Sovětské vedení oznámilo, že dodávky zbraní do Izraele byly akcí sionistů v Československu. Každý Žid v Československu byl automaticky považován za sionistu. Roku 1952 na základě vykonstruovaného procesu bylo 14 obžalovaných (z toho 11 byli Židé) spolu s Rudolfem Slánským, prvním tajemníkem komunistické strany, bylo uznáno vinnými. Poprava se konala 3. prosince 1952. Později komunistická strana připustila chyby při procesu a odsouzení byli rehabilitováni společensky i legálně v roce 1963.

18 Gottwald, Klement (1896 – 1953)

původní profesí byl truhlář. V roce 1921 se stal jedním ze zakladatelů KSČ (Komunistická strana Československa). Od tohoto roku do roku 1926 byl funkcionářem KSČ na Slovensku. V letech 1926-29 stál v popředí snah o překonání vnitřní krize ve straně a prosazení bolševizace strany. V roce 1938 z rozhodnutí strany odešel do Moskvy, kde pracoval pro KSČ až do osvobození ČSR. Po válce 4. dubna 1945 byl jmenován místopředsedou vlády. Po vítězství KSČ ve volbách v roce 1946 se stal předsedou československé vlády a po abdikaci E. Beneše z úřadu prezidenta v roce 1948 se stal prezidentem.   

19 Trockij, Lev Davidovič (nar, Bronstein) (1879-1940)

ruský revolucionář, jeden z vůdců Říjnové revoluce z roku 1917, význačná postava komunistického hnutí a teoretik Marxismu - rozvinul myšlenku “permanentní revoluce”. Využíval represivní prostředky k dosažení disciplíny na frontě, ale i v zázemí. Mezi ním a Stalinem probíhal boj o vedení, který však skončil jeho porážkou. Byl vyloučen z komunistické strany, odešel do exilu do Kazachstánu a později do zahraničí. Žil nějaký čas v Turecku, Norsku a pak v Mexiku, kde byl na konec zavražděn sovětským agentem na příkaz Stalina.

20 Tito, Josip Brož (1892-1980)

prezident Socialistické federativní republiky Jugoslávie od roku 1953 až do své smrti. Roku 1937 se ujal vedení Komunistické strany Jugoslávie a od roku 1941 vedl partizánské hnutí. Se svými partizánskými bojovníky osvobodil většinu Jugoslávie a roku 1945 se stal předsedou nové vlády. Znárodnil průmysl, provedl kolektivizaci zemědělsktví a potlačoval své politické protivníky. I když Jugoslávie měla úzké kontakty se SSSR, J. B. Tito často sledoval vlastní nezávislou politiku. Přijal západní půjčku na stabilizaci národní ekonomiky. Díky němu se Jugoslávie stala nejliberálnějším komunistickým státem v Evropě. Po Titově smrti roku 1980 se začalo projevovat etnické napětí, které se v 90. letech 20. století promítlo do rozpadu federace doprovázeného krutými boji.     

21 Chruščov, Nikita (1894-1971)

sovětský komunistický vůdce. Po Stalinově smrti v roce 1953 se stal prvním tajemníkem ÚV SSSR. V roce 1956, během 20. sjezdu strany Chruščev odsoudil Stalina a jeho metody. V říjnu 1964 byl zbaven všech funkcí a v roce 1966 byl vyloučen z ÚV komunistické strany.  

22 Beneš, Edvard (1884-1948)

československý politik a prezident v letech 1935-38 a 1946-48. Byl stoupencem T. G. Masaryka, prvního československého prezidenta, myšlenky čechoslovakismu a Masarykovou pravou rukou. Po první světové válce zastupoval Československo na Pařížské mírové konferenci. Edvard Beneš působil ve funkci ministra zahraničních věcí (1918-1935) a ministerského předsedy (1921-1922) nového československého státu a stal se i prezidentem po odstoupení T.G.Masaryka z prezidentského úřadu v roce 1935. 

23 Samizdatová literatura v Československu

Samizdatová literatura znamená tajné vydávání a šíření vládou zakázané literatury v bývalém sovětském bloku. Obvykle tato literatura byla psána na stroji na tenký papír. Nejdříve byla šířena v rámci skupiny důvěryhodných přátel z ruky do ruky, kteří pak udělali další kopie a tajně je dále distribuovali. Materiál, který byl takto šířen, zahrnoval beletrii, poezii, paměti, historické práce, politické smlouvy, petice, náboženské traktáty a časopisy. Tresty za tuto činnost se lišily podle politického klimatu, od pronásledování po zatčení a uvěznění. V Československu zažila samizdatová literatura rozkvět po roce 1948, a pak znova po roce 1968 v souvislosti se vznikem řady edic pod vedením různých spisovatelů, literárních kritiků a publicistů: Petlice (editor L. Vaculík), Expedice (editor J. Lopatka), Česká expedice, Popelnice a Pražská imaginace.

24 Sovětská invaze do Československa roku 1968

V noci z 20. na 21. srpna 1968 sovětská vojska spolu s vojsky Varšavské smlouvy podnikly invazi do Československa. Následně byl podepsán Moskevský protokol, který ukončil demokratizační proces a byl zahájen normalizační proces.

25 Svoboda, Ludvík (1895-1979)

během 2. světové války generál Ludvík Svoboda (1895-1979) velel československým vojskům spadajícím pod sovětské vojenské vedení a podílel se na osvobozování východního Slovenska. Po válce se Svoboda stal ministrem obrany (1945-1950) a pak prezidentem Československa (1968-1975).

26 Dubček, Alexander (1921-1992)

slovenský a československý politik a státník, hlavní postava reformního hnutí v ČSSR. V roce 1963 se stal generálním tajemníkem ÚV KSS. V roce 1968 získal funkci generálního tajemníka ÚVKSČ a otevřel tak cestu pro reformní skupiny v komunistické straně a společnosti. S jeho jménem jsou úzce spojeny události označované jako Pražské jaro. Po okupaci republiky vojsky SSSR a Varšavské smlouvy 21. srpna 1968 byl zatčen a odvezen do SSSR. Na žádost československých představitelů a pod tlakem československého a světového veřejného mínění byl pozván k jednáním mezi sovětskými a československými představiteli v Moskvě. Po dlouhém váhání také on podepsal tzv. Moskevský protokol, který stanovil podmínky a metody vyřešení situace, které však v podstatě znamenaly začátek konce Pražského jara.    

27 Smrkovský, Josef (1911-1974)

člen komunistické strany od roku 1933. Během německé okupace působil v komunistickém odboji. V roce 1945 se stal místopředsedou České národní rady a byl vůdčí politickou postavou květnového povstání. 1949-51 byl náměstkem ministra zemědělství a generálním ředitelem Státních statků, 1946-51 poslancem Národního shromáždění. V letech 1951-55 byl vězněn, ale 1963 byl rehabilitován a stal se jedním z hlavních reformistů ve 2. polovině 60. let 20. století. Postavil se proti okupaci z 21. srpna 1968 a podobně jako ostatní reformní politici byl i on odvlečen do SSSR. Ve dnech 23.-26. srpna 1968 se účastnil jednání v Moskvě a spolupodepsal tzv. Moskevský protokol. Po svém návratu ze SSSR byl postupně zbaven všech svých funkcí a v roce 1970 vyloučen ze strany. 

28 Charta 77

manifest vydaný v lednu 1977 pod názvem Charta 77, který požadoval po československé vládě naplňování jejích zákonů v oblasti lidských, politických, občanských a kulturních práv v Československu. Tento dokument se poprvé objevil v západoněmeckých novinách a byl podepsaný 200 Čechoslováky reprezentující různá zaměstnání, politickorientaci a náboženství. Do poloviny 80. let byla podepsána přibližně 1 200 lidmi. Vládní postihy proti těmto lidem zahrnovaly propuštění ze zaměstnání, znemožnění jejich dětem studovat, nucený exil, ztráta občanství, zatčení.

29 Rádio Svobodná Evropa

stanice byla založena v roce 1949 z podnětu americké vlády se sídlem v západním Německu. Rádio vysílalo necenzurované zprávy, vytvářené emigranty z východní a střední Evropy. Vysílalo se z Mnichova do zemí Sovětského bloku. Rádiová stanice byla umístěna za železnou oponou, její pracovníci byli pronásledováni a někteří lidé byli zabiti KGB. Rádio Svobodná Evropa hrálo určitou roli při podpoře disidentů a vnitřního odporu v komunistických zemích východní a střední Evropy a tak přispělo k pádu totalitních režimů Sovětského bloku. Sídlo rádia je od roku 1994 v Praze.

30 Sametová revoluce

známá též pod pojmem  “listopadové události” označující období mezi 17. listopadem a 29. prosincem 1989, které vyvrcholily v pád komunistického režimu. V listopadu vznikla hnutí Občanské fórum a Veřejnost proti násilí. 10. prosince byla vytvořena vláda Národního usmíření, která zahájila demokratické reformy. 29. prosince byl zvolen prezidentem Václav Havel. V červnu 1990 se konaly první demokratické volby od roku 1948.

31 Události roku 1989 v Polsku

v roce 1989 komunistický režim v Polsku zkolaboval a byl zahájen proces formování vícestranického, pluralistického, demokratického politického systému. Komunistická politika a prohlubování ekonomické krize od počátku 80. let 20. století zapříčinila nárůst sociální nespokojenosti a radikalizace nálad mezi členy Solidarity (Solidarita: odborová organizace, která se později přeměnila v politickou stranu a sehrála klíčovou roli při svržení komunismu). Posilování opozice a zvyšování tlaku na komunistické vedení přimělo představitele státu k zahájení postupného uvolňování politického systému. Série stávek a demonstrací v dubnu – květnu a následně srpnu 1988 měly za následek řadu setkání s opozicí – zástupci Solidarity (Lech Walesa) a další představitelé opozice (Bronislaw Geremek, Jacek Kuron, Tadeusz Mazowiecki). 4. června se konaly parlamentní volby a komunistická strana (Polská sjednocená dělnické strana, PZPR) v nich utrpěla porážku. 

32 Mácha, Karel Hynek (1810–1836)

představitel romantismu, jehož poezie, próza a drama se zabývaly otázkami lidské existence. Mácha zemřel poměrně mladý roku 1836 na choleru a vyčerpání organismu. K jeho nejznámějším dílům patří: Máj a Křivoklát.

33 Občanské fórum

opoziční uskupení založené v roce 1989, kterého se účastnily různé opoziční a lidskoprávní organizace. V březnu 1991 se se Občanské fórum rozštěpilo na Občanské hnutí a Občanskou demokratickou stranu. 

34 Jakeš, Miloš (nar

1922): český komunistický politik, v 70. letech 20. století jeden z vedoucích představitelů tzv. normalizace v Československu. V roce 1977 se stal členem ÚV KSČ, od roku 1981 byl členem prezidia a v letech 1987-89 generálním tajemníkem KSČ. V 2. polovině 80. let 20. století se pod tlakem veřejnosti pokusil o zavedení určitých reforem, ale bez úspěchu. Po listopadových událostech skončil monopol KSČ v Československu, a Jakeš sám byl donucen opustit vedení strany, na prosincovém sjezdu byl vyloučen ze strany a sám se vzdal poslaneckého mandátu.

35 Havel, Václav (1936-2011)

český dramatik a politik. Aktivně se podílel na politickém a společenském uvolňování během Pražského jara. Po Sovětské intervenci v roce 1968 se stal mluvčím Charty 77. Z politických důvodů byl zatčen v letech 1977 a 1979. V roce 1989 byl zvolen československým a po odtržení Slovenska i českým prezidentem. Ve své funkci setrval do roku 2003.

Ivan Barbul

Ivan Barbul
Kishinev
Moldova
Interviewer: Nathalia Fomina
Date of interview: June 2004

Ivan Barbul is a taller than average, broad-shouldered man who looks young for his age. He has thick gray hair, gentle features and expressive eyes. He has a low voice like that of a professional lecturer. The most dramatic part of our discussion is his story about how his parents, sisters and little brother perished during the Holocaust: he couldn't hold back the tears in his eyes, and his voice was trembling. However hard it was for him, he insisted that he told the story to the end. His wife, Liana Degtiar, stayed beside him during our discussion. She was ready to offer him help at any given moment as Ivan has heart problems. Ivan, his wife and their grown-up son, Boris Barbul, live in a spacious three-bedroom apartment in Ryshkanovka, a green and well-organized district built in the 1960s in Kishinev. The apartment is furnished with plain, but comfortable furniture. They have a big collection of Russian books: fiction, scientific works and volumes on physics and mathematics. All members of the family are involved in science. One can tell that they love each other: they treat each other very gently and have a good sense of humor.

My family background
Growing up

During the War
Post-war
Glossary


My family background


My maternal great-grandfather's name was Abram Shafershuper. My uncle Yoil, my mother's brother, told me that our great-grandfather served in the tsarist army for 25 years, some time in the late 18th or early 19th century. I don't know whether my grandfather served as a cantonist 1, or if he was recruited for active service, when he became of age. When he was demobilized, the tsar granted him a plot of land in Bessarabia 2, in the village of Tsarevka near Rezina. Our family on my mother's side originated from Tsarevka. Uncle Yoil told me that my great-grandfather was an extremely strong man. There were regular contests between the strongest men in the village, and my great-grandfather was unbeatable. These contests must have been very violent, as my great-grandfather was killed during one of them. My grandfather, Moisey Shafershuper, moved to Rezina [Bessarabian province, Orgeyev district. According to the census of 1897 there were 3,652 residents in Rezina, 3,182 of them were Jews]. He owned a plot of land where he grew grapes. My grandfather died before I was born. I think it happened in the 1910s. My brother, born in 1918, was named Moisey after my grandfather.

I knew my grandmother, Etl Shafershuper, well. She was born in Balta [Odessa region, Ukraine], to the family of Alper Neerman. My grandmother was short and sweet like all grandmothers. She always wore a kerchief. I remember that she grew grapes. We, kids, used to go to the vineyard to pick the ripest grapes. Grapes were used to make wine, which my grandmother sold. She also had a cow. She milked it and we would drink fresh milk right from the bucket. My grandmother had a nice big two-storied house on the bank of the Dnestr River. There was always the delicious smell of food and fresh milk in the house. There was a wine cellar in the basement. My grandmother's daughters and their families lived on the first floor, and my grandmother lived on the second floor. My grandmother strictly observed Jewish traditions and so did her daughters. Nobody worked on Sabbath. They lit candles. My grandmother died during the Great Patriotic War 3, in evacuation where she went with one of her children. Grandmother Etl had seven children. I know little about them.

My grandmother's next daughter after my mother was Zlota. She was married and lived with her family in my granny's house. I think she had a son. I remember that he was ill and had some kind of hysteria. He had attacks. I remember visiting them one day, when I wasn't allowed to go into his room: there was an old woman working against an evil eye put on him. I had to wait till she finished her recitals. Aunt Zlota died in evacuation during the Great Patriotic War. I have no details of how it happened.

My mother's brother Yankel died in 1937 and this is all I know about him. I have no information about my mother's sister Anna, either.

My mother's brother Shmil was born in 1903. He was a wealthy man. He owned a bakery. His wife's name was Haya. Their son Semyon was about five years older than me.

All I know about my mother's sister Mariasa is that she was born in 1906 and lived in my grandmother's house before the war.

My mother's younger brother Yoil was born in 1907. He was a flour wholesale trader before Bessarabia was annexed to the Soviet Union [see Annexation of Bessarabia to the Soviet Union] 4. His wife Riva was also born in Rezina, her parents lived in a big stone house in our neighborhood. After the war I found my uncle Yoil in Chernovtsy and he was the one to tell me a lot about the history of my family. During the war, Uncle Yoil shortened his family name from Shafershuper to Shuper. Later Yoil's family moved to New York, USA. My uncle died in 2001. Riva and her son Mikhail live in New York. Riva is 92. She writes us letters in Russian.

My mother, Feiga Rybakova, was the oldest in the family. She was born in Rezina in 1899. She was tall, slender and quiet. I don't know how far my mother went with her education. She could read and speak Yiddish and Russian and she knew Hebrew. I don't know how my parents met. My father came from Rybnitsa, a town on the opposite bank of the Dnestr [left side of the river, the Transnistrian side]. I think they had known each other for a while before they got married.

I know little about my father's parents. His father, Samuel Rybakov, lived in Rybnitsa. In the early 20th century he moved to the USA. My grandfather married twice. He remarried after his first wife died. My grandfather had more children in the USA, but I failed to locate them. I know nothing about his first wife: my father's mother. My father's older brother, Peisach Rybakov, lived in Odessa [today Ukraine] and so did my father's sister Sheiva. Her husband's name was Grisha [affectionate for Grigoriy] Kolker. Their daughter's name was Polina. We didn't have any contact with them before 1940, when Bessarabia belonged to Romania.

My father, Gersh Rybakov, was born in 1894. He finished school in tsarist Russia. He could read and write in Russian, he was an educated person and we had a big collection of books in Russian at home. My father must have finished a yeshivah since he was a teacher at the cheder in Rezina and he knew Hebrew. My uncle Yoil told me that in 1914, when World War I began, my father had moved to Grandfather Samuel's in the USA to avoid service in the Russian army. My mother was his fiancee already. One year later he returned and they got married. They had a traditional wedding under the chuppah. It couldn't have been otherwise at that time. After the wedding my parents settled down in Rezina. I don't know how they lived through the revolution [see Russian Revolution of 1917] 5, but in 1918, when Bessarabia was annexed to Romania [see Annexation of Bessarabia to Romania] 6, they already had three children: Abram, the oldest, was born in 1915, my sister Anyuta was born a year later, and my brother Moisey was born in 1918. My sister Nehoma was born in 1922, Riva in 1924, then came Betia in 1926, and Shmil in 1936. On 12th December 1929 I was born in Rezina; my parents named me Isaac.

Growing up

Rezina was a Jewish town. The majority of its population was Jewish. There were Moldovan villages surrounding the town: Stoknaya, which was less than one kilometer away, Chernoye on the other side of the town, and the Chernaya River. Jews in Rezina were mainly traders and craftsmen: tinsmiths and tailors. There were Jewish doctors. Doctor Grossman lived near where Uncle Yoil lived, in the center, and there was Doctor Rapoport, who moved to Soroki after the Great Patriotic War. There were stores owned by Jews in the center of the town. Jews didn't work on Saturday and Sunday. There was a strong Jewish community in Rezina. Jews strictly observed all traditions. There was a market which was particular crowded on market days. My sisters helped my mother to do the shopping. There was a boulevard in the center, and a small monument either to Carol, the Romanian king [see King Carol I] 7, or to Stephan the Great [Stefan cel Mare, ruler of the Moldova principality (1457-1504)]. There was a big garden owned by landlord Pavlovskiy in the suburb of Rezina on the bank of the Dnestr. He must have been Russian. He only stayed in his mansion here in the summer. Mostovaya Street, where we lived, ran along the Dnestr, and there was Podgornaya Street up the town. In spring, the Dnestr flooded many streets. If you travel to Rezina now you'll see that the town has spread onto the hill.

We lived on the first floor in a two-storied house. We bought this first floor from the owner of the house who lived on the second floor. However, she didn't recognize our ownership. I remember this was some disputable issue for her and there was some tension between us. Aunt Riva's parents lived in a beautiful big two-storied stone house next to ours. We had no garden or even a yard. There was a shed adjoining the house where my parents kept a goat. When the times became hard, the family sold the goat. There were three or four rooms, but only one room had a wooden floor, the rest had cemented floors. The rooms were damp. There was a bigger dining room with a table in the middle of the room, big enough for the family of ten to sit there. Kerosene lamps were used to light the rooms. I also remember a kitchen with a huge Russian stove 8.

We weren't wealthy considering that ours was a big family. My father worked in a cheder and our relatives from the USA supported us. My father gave private lessons at home. The pupils were of different ages, but they studied together. My father made me attend their classes and I remember that all of them were older than me. The community and the boys' parents must have paid my father for his work. I still meet people, who tell me that my father was their teacher in the cheder. He was strict, but I don't remember him beating his pupils. My father was short, and I don't think he had a beard or moustache, though this doesn't match with the image of a religious Jewish man. Neither my sisters nor I have pictures of my father. My father had religious and fiction books in Russian at home.

My mother was a housewife. She was quiet and hardworking, which she had to be, considering that she had so many kids. I remember that she read a lot and even filled in for my father at the cheder, when necessary. I think she knew Hebrew.

Every Friday my mother baked bread a week in advance. She also made cookies and I remember the smell of baking in the house. There were many of us and she had to cook a lot. When we sat at the table, we had to be quick to take our share as it didn't stay long on the table. My mother cooked delicious food: chicken and beef broth with beans, and stuffed fish which she made like cutlets. She also often made chicken broth with homemade noodles. Clear soup with noodles is my favorite dish. My older sisters gave my mother a hand with the cooking. The family got together at the table for breakfast, lunch and dinner. My mother covered the table with a tablecloth and each of us had a place at the table.

When my father came in we sat at the table as if after getting a command, though there were no commands, surely. My father recited the broche: I don't remember whether he did it every day, but surely he did it on Saturday and on holidays. There was always meat on the table on Sabbath. On Friday morning it was my chore to go to the shochet to have him slaughter a chicken. I remember how the shochet took the chicken, slaughtered it and hung it by its tied legs to have the blood drip down. He also had beef for sale: there must have been a kosher slaughterhouse in Rezina. We spoke Yiddish at home. My father prayed in the morning and in the evening. My mother had a seat at the synagogue. On holidays I went to the synagogue with my father. I know only one synagogue in Rezina where we went. My mother sat on the second floor with the other women.

On Rosh Hashanah we went out to listen to the horn [shofar]. I also went to the synagogue with my father on Yom Kippur, when Jews had to fast for a whole day, but I was just a boy and my mother used to give me some food.

On Sukkot we had meals in the attic where the roof could open and we decorated it with tree branches to make a sukkah.

I remember Chanukkah particularly well. It was a merry holiday. We didn't have a chanukkiyah. We cut a potato in half, took out the inside, poured some oil and inserted a wick in it. My mother placed these candles on the window sill so that everybody could see that we celebrated Chanukkah. I remember receiving Chanukkah gelt from my father and my uncles. My uncles didn't have so many children as my parents and they could afford to give us some money. I saved what I got to buy sweets.

On Purim my mother made hamantashen. People dressed up and performed on the streets. Children ran around with rattles. My father took me to the synagogue to listen to Megillat Ester. The boys used to rattle and yell when Haman's name was mentioned.

Pesach was the main holiday, of course. My mother did a general clean up. What a clean up it was! We had many utensils which my mother scorched. Before Pesach my father swept the chametz from the window sills. We had special crockery for Pesach. On seder my father reclined on cushions telling us the history of the exodus of Jews from Egypt. He also hid a piece of matzah under a cushion and one of the children was to find it as a gift. I also remember how we ate potatoes dipping them in salted water. One of my older brothers, Abram or Moisey, asked my father the four traditional questions. We all had a little wine. I had a little wineglass of my own. I used to dip matzah in this wine and eat it. It tasted a little bitter. The older children used to laugh at me.

I was a naughty boy, they told me. I used to hide away to eat non-kosher sausage. Our Moldovan neighbor Fedia had a pig farm and a store where he use to sell pork, cracklings and sausages. I bought a sausage from his store secretly saving the money that I got from the adults. I wasn't the only one to buy a sausage. We kept it a secret from my father, but my mother shut her eyes to it knowing that the sausages and cracklings were good for children. However, we never had pork at the table: God forbid.

I remember well my first visit to Doctor Rapoport. I climbed the hill over our town and decided to check how fast I could run down the hill. At the very bottom my legs were running on their own on the narrow path, I fell and injured my head. I was taken to Doctor Rapoport's house. He had a kerosene lamp with beautifully shaped glass on his desk. It had a special device to fix the width of the wick to regulate the brightness of light. I took so much interest in this lamp that I even forgot the pain. The doctor made me lie down on the couch to stitch the injury, but I twitched from pain, hit the table, the lamp turned over and the glass broke. The doctor had another lamp brought in to finish his job. I still have the scar on my forehead.

My older sister Anyuta moved to Palestine in 1935, or in 1936. She attended training sessions arranged by an organization [see Hakhsharah camps] 9 near Beltsy, where she studied farming. Before moving there she had a marriage of convenience since young girls or boys weren't allowed to move there on their own. Her husband's name was Grisha. In Israel they got divorced. Anyuta went to work and got remarried. Her husband's family name was Rabinovich.

My older brother Abram finished a gymnasium in Rezina. In Bucharest [today Romania] he passed his exams for a Bachelor's degree and became a teacher in a village. Abram was in love with Lusia, a girl from our town. Her father was a wealthy Jewish tobacco dealer. Abram and Lusia wanted to get married, but my father was against their marriage. He said that they belonged to different layers of society. Abram and Lusia couldn't get married without their parents' consent: this was a rule with Jewish families. But when Abram came to Rezina he spent all his time at Lusia's home. My brother Moisey finished a vocational school in Rezina and worked as a mechanic in Bucharest. My sisters Riva, Nehoma and Betia studied at school. In 1936 my younger brother Shmil was born. He was loved very much and was affectionately called Shmilik.

At the age of seven I went to an elementary school. My father wanted me to get a good education, of course. There were Jewish and Moldovan children at school. I had a Moldovan friend. His last name was Borsch. We started the day with 'Our Father...', 'Tatal Nostru...' in Romanian [Lord's Prayer]. All children, including Jews, had to pray. I remember once I misbehaved during the prayer: somebody tugged at me or I pushed someone. I must have been a rather vivid boy. Our teacher of nature, Domnul [Sir in Romanian] Markov, whipped me in front of the class. This was quite a whip, let me tell you. This was a traditional school punishment in those years: they also made us kneel in a corner, on grains, hit us on the hands with a ruler, slapped us on the face or pulled our ears.

During the War

When the Cuzists 10 came to power in Romania, anti-Semitism developed at our school just like everywhere else. A Jew could even be beaten for being a Jew. We heard about pogroms in Iasi, but there were none in Rezina. There were only posters reading 'Only Romanian is spoken here' all around: in official and public places, in stores and in the streets. This was more likely the discrimination against both Jews and Russians since Russian was the main language of communication in the current Bessarabia. [Russian was dominant mainly in the cities: most of the Moldovan countryside was Romanian (Moldovan) speaking.] When the Cuzists came to power, we lived in fear.

In 1940, when Bessarabia was annexed to the Soviet Union, we welcomed the Soviet army as our liberators. I had finished the third grade and I remember the time well. I ran with the other boys to the Dnestr where we watched the Soviet troops crossing the river over the pontoon crossing from the side of Rybnitsa. Later, they restored the bridge on the river which had connected Rybnitsa and Rezina before 1918. Our school switched to the Russian language teaching curriculum. At my age I had no problem switching to Russian, particularly because my parents spoke and read Russian: we had Russian books at home. My brother returned to Rezina and went to work at Gorky vehicle plant in Russia. My sister Nehoma also went to work in Russia. She worked at the weaving mill in Ivanovo [today Russia]. Riva went for the tractor operator courses after finishing her school. After finishing the training course she worked as a tractor operator in the village of Tsarevka, I think.

My mother's brother Shmil and his family and other wealthy families were deported to Siberia. Uncle Shmil died while in exile. His son Semyon got married while in exile and returned to Moldova with his wife and mother. The exile saved them from the fascists. Aunt Haya lived in Kishinev and Semyon and his wife lived in Strasheni. He died of a disease in the 1980s, and Aunt Haya moved to Israel. She has also passed away.

When the Great Patriotic War began in 1941, Abram evacuated to Uzbekistan with Lusia's family. My parents, Riva, Betia, Shmil and I also rushed to evacuate. The bridge across the Dnestr had been destroyed by bombs, and we crossed the river on a boat to get to the railway station in Rybnitsa where we took a train to Razdelnaya station which was 60 kilometers from Odessa. From Razdelnaya [today Ukraine] we moved to Odessa where Uncle Peisach Rybakov, and Aunt Sheiva Kolker lived. When we went to Odessa, there was only Peisach and his family there. Aunt Sheiva, her husband Grisha and daughter Polina had evacuated by then. Sheiva and her family returned home after the war. Sheiva died in Odessa in the 1960s. Her daughter Polina and her family live in Jerusalem.

Uncle Peisach worked as a loader in the dock. When the siege of Odessa began, he went to the fighting battalion 11 with other dockers. His son was engaged in digging trenches. His wife Lidia and his daughter, whose name I don't remember, stayed in the town. Uncle Peisach was wounded and evacuated from Odessa by sea. When he recovered, he went to the front. After the war he returned to Odessa where he remarried. I didn't know his second wife. Uncle Peisach died in the 1950s.

In Odessa we stayed at Uncle Peisach's home and later we moved to Aunt Sheiva's apartment which was vacant. Odessa was surrounded at the time and the only way to evacuate from there was by sea. We were waiting for our turn to obtain a permit to board a boat, but our turn never came: the armed forces had first priority. We stayed in Odessa. After the Soviet troops left, the Romanian troops who had incurred great losses didn't come into the town until after a day's hesitation. I remember this day well. I was eleven. I ran around with other boys. I saw people near a basement of an apartment building and looked inside. There was a church nearby. People were carrying bags with dried bread from the storage facility in the basement and I got one bag. It wasn't heavy and I carried it home. It came in very handy since we didn't have any food stocks after leaving Uncle Peisach's house where his wife shared their food with us. On 16th October the Romanian troops entered Odessa [see Romanian occupation of Odessa] 12. They hung the first orders of the occupational authorities on the walls. The Romanians took my father and other Jewish men to the gendarmerie and he never returned. On 19th October the Romanians issued the order for all Jews to pack their clothes and food, leave their keys with their janitors and walk in the direction of Dalnik [a village 15 km from Odessa] where there were work camps to be formed.

We packed and went outside. There were five of us: my mother, Riva, Betia, Shmilik and I. There were many people on the streets already. We met Lidia and her daughter on the way. The Romanians and policemen were directing people from the streets and when we left the town, it looked like a river of human beings carrying their luggage and children and pushing the elders on carts ahead of them. There was a hollow rumble in the air that muted the yells of guards. When we reached Dalnik, they gathered us at some abandoned spot surrounded with wooden fences and towers with machine guns on them. The area had been lit with floodlights. Our father, who had been taken there from the gendarmerie, met us there. Everybody thought this was the end. People began to say farewell to their dear ones crying and screaming. At dawn the guards lined up all stronger men telling them they were to work at the construction site, but this must not have been very far away as we heard shooting soon after: they were all killed.

We were told to move on. Where were we going? There were masses of people walking, some were dying on the way from diseases or from the shock of those latest days. There were wagons riding aside the column of people: all those who felt like climbing on them were allowed to do so. I also wanted to ride on a wagon and so did Shmilik, but my father told us not to. Those who climbed those wagons never returned. The Romanians probably didn't dare to kill people immediately before everybody's eyes. I remember that once we stayed overnight in an empty cow-farm. It was fall and it was raining and cold. People were stuffed in the building and the smell of manure mixed with the smell of sweat and people's bodies was evident. In the morning we moved on. The colder it got the faster we were forced to march. They probably did it to have more people die a natural death. Many were falling and never got on their feet again. Everybody dropped the luggage they had.

We finally reached Bogdanovka [In Bogdanovka all Jews in the ghetto were shot, by the Romanian gendarmerie, the Ukrainian police, and Sonderkommando R, made up of Volksdeutsche (local ethnic Germans)]. A huge area was fenced with barbed wire and there were pigsties all around. Our family got into one which had sows. There were cells for sows. Aunt Lidia, her daughter and I got into one such cell. We were told we could get some straw from the outside. We brought some straw to put on the floor. We didn't know how long they were going to keep us there. It turned out that we were going to be there for a long time. We didn't get any food. There was a well outside where we were allowed to get water. I made a passage underneath the barbed wire and used to run to a nearby cabbage field where I could dig cabbage stumps out of the frozen ground. I ate them. The others had nothing to eat.

All films about the Holocaust, however horrible the pictures are, reflect the reality only approximately. The reality was much more horrific. This was no ghetto in Bogdanovka. It was beyond comparison. This was an area with no rights or rules, where people were exterminated for no particular reason. Every day wagons hauled out hundreds of dead bodies. The inmates placed their dying relatives in passages between cells so as not to have them die in the cells where they lived. Often these dying people had no clothes on, since their relatives would pull off their clothes to trade them for food products. Villagers from Bogdanovka used to bring food to the barbed fence for the exchange. My mother and some other women found a hole in the fence and used to go to the village to get some food. My mother was ashamed to beg for food and she asked for work to do for food. Occasionally, people asked her to do washing for them and she washed their clothes in the ice-cold Bug River for bread or potatoes. She brought us whatever she could get. My father grew very weak and couldn't get onto his feet again.

There was a senior Jewish man in our pigsty. He had a 'burzhuika' stove [makeshift steel stove] with a stack for the smoke to exhaust through the window. He allowed the inmates to warm up by the stove. One day our pigsty caught fire. I don't think it started from the stove, but whatever the reason might have been, it was burning. The guards told us: 'You may move to another pigsty.' My father didn't want to move, though my older sister Riva and I could help him. I saw him move a hand to my mother gesturing her to take care of the children. When leaving, I saw another old man moving closer to my father. He opened a religious book with a black cover. It must have been a prayer book. My mother took us to another pigsty. When the fire was over and there were only charring stones left, Riva took me to the site: 'You remember this brick? This is where our cell was.'

There were five of us left: my mother, Riva, Betia, Shmilik and I. Aunt Lida and her daughter had passed away. One day a woman told Riva to go to Bogdanovka to bury her mother. My mother went to the village the day before, and while she was doing the washing on the bank of the Bug, a policeman killed her with his rifle butt. Riva was eighteen by now. Somebody told her that the situation was better in Odessa and she decided we had to escape to Odessa. It was winter and there was a lot of snow. Betia could hardly stand on her feet, and Shmilik couldn't move at all. I was more or less all right. We decided that Riva and I should go. When my brother heard that we were leaving, he didn't want to let us go. I lifted him: he was as light as a dove. He couldn't walk and Riva decided that we should go.

I don't know how far away from Bogdanovka we walked, but Riva realized that I couldn't walk any further. We stayed overnight at a farm. I remember the owner: Saveliy Ischenko. Riva asked him to keep me for a few days till she came back for me. If the situation with the Jews was better in Odessa, she would come for me and we would also take Shmilik and Betia with us. She left. A week later Saveliy told me that his neighbors had learned about me and he couldn't keep me in his house any longer. I had to leave. It was January 1942: it was cold and there was snow. Saveliy rode me to Odessa in his sleigh covering me with straw. I knew that Riva was to be in Peisach's apartment and went there. Our neighbor, who was an ethnic German, gave me shelter. It took her quite a while to convince me to go inside: I had lice. My fur collar on my coat was swarming with bugs. She put some straw into a carton box for me to sleep in. I'm grateful she didn't report me to the authorities. She told me that Riva had come to Odessa. It was true that there were about ten days, when Jews weren't persecuted, but it was only a trick that the Romanians played to set a trap for the Jews who had been in hiding. When the Jews came out of their hiding places, the trap closed. I knew these Jews had been taken to Beryozovka and killed.

I had nothing to do in Odessa and started on my way back. I was still hoping to find Riva, who was to go back to Saveliy's house for me. I was hoping we would be able to help Betia and Shmilik. When I reached Saveliy's place, he showed me a grave near his hut: 'Riva ran in to ask about you, when their column was passing by. They killed her in the morning and I buried her here.' I said, 'I have nowhere to go. I will go to where Betia and Shmilik are.' He asked, 'Back to Bogdanovka? There is nobody left there. They were all killed.' I had just turned twelve, and I was alone in the world. So, I returned to Odessa, where I was captured and taken to the ghetto in Slobodka [neighborhood on the outskirts of Odessa].

The ghetto was in the building of a former Navy school. The yard was fenced with barbed wire and there were Romanian guards at the gate. There was a Romanian commandment and a Jewish head man in the ghetto. The tramps like me were taken to the room called the hoarder. I was kept there for seven to ten days, when the Romanians announced they were going to take us to a Jewish colony. The march headed to Beryozovka. I was very well aware what this meant. I escaped from the column. Where was I to go? If they captured me alone they would kill me. It was easier to go back to the ghetto, which I did by climbing over the fence. I was taken back to the hoarder.

Some time later they gathered the inmates to take them to the Jewish colony. Again I was in this group: I escaped again. This happened several times. On the way I talked to the Romanians. Some of them even gave me bread, but I wouldn't say that they were better than the Germans. They were committed to their duty: they never failed to exterminate Jews. Who, but scumbags, would kill people for no reason? When the winter was over and it got a little warmer, I thought that I might live in a field. Can you imagine: alone, in a field, but I wasn't afraid of predators or darkness. People scared me.

The last time I was taken to the hoarder, a boy found me there. He was Yefim Nilva. He said, 'Let's stay together. Let's be friends.' Somebody had told him about me. Yefim wasn't as exhausted as I was. He had been taken to the ghetto from jail. [In October 1941, the Jews of Odessa were imprisoned in Odessa central jail and stayed there till December.] His mother was killed in jail. Yefim boasted he had a German document stating that he was Russian or Ukrainian, I don't remember for sure. He also demonstrated that he wasn't circumcised while I evidently was. I thought he would be the wall that I could hide behind. And I could help him to escape since I was well experienced at this. The next time, we escaped together, but where were we to go? We knew there was a Jewish ghetto in Balta [180 km from Odessa] and we headed there.

We walked at night to avoid any confrontation. During the day we stayed in haylofts. Occasionally, we went to villages to ask for food. Yefim talked with the villagers since I burred and had to keep silent for safety. To identify a Jew, policemen use to order a person to say 'kukuruza' [corn]. Burring was a sign of Jewish origin. We tried to get some work in villages. We made up a story that we were from a children's home: I was Ivan Ischenko and he was Fyodor Nilvin, and since there were no children's home any longer, we needed work to get some food. People probably guessed the truth telling us there was no work. We finally reached Balta, found the ghetto, but when we came to the fence, the inmates told us to get away as fast as we could since the guards were killing the newcomers.

We started on our way back asking for work in villages until finally we found work in the village office of Gandrabury [today Ukraine]. Yefim did the talking. He told them our names: Ivan Ischenko and Fyodor Nilvin. It was a big village with twelve kolkhozes [see Kolkhoz] 13 before the war. I was to go to work in the Voroshilov 14 kolkhoz and Yefim was assigned to the 'Krasny partisan' kolkhoz. They were called communities during the Romanian rule and had numbers: community one, two, three, etc., while people called them 'a former kolkhoz.' I was to be a shepherd and stay in an air brick and clay hut twined with osier at five to six kilometers from the village.

It was an old, but rather stable hut. The clay had fallen off, but the osier still kept the hut from falling apart. There was a sheep shed with 60 to 65 sheep near the hut. I was the shepherd and there were two janitors who took turns to stay in this hut. Once a week villagers brought me food: bread and potatoes which I cooked. Villagers also brought their sheep for me to shepherd and also brought me some food. This was the payment I got for my work. Yefim worked for a farmer and stayed in his house. Yefim's master took less risk considering that Yefim had a certificate stating that he was Russian. During this period, between spring 1942 and fall 1943, Yefim and I only met twice.

In fall 1943 the retreating Germans and Romanians took the sheep with them. I was alone in this hut. Some villagers came by. They must have suspected who I was, but they didn't report me. They also mentioned that there were childless families in the village, who might adopt me. I didn't dare to go to the village, but one day I decided to go to Ivan Illich Barbul, who was a nice person. He lived with his wife Agafia and his or her old mother. They had no children. He registered me by his family name and named me Ivan. His wife Agafia told me to call her mother and her husband, father. It was hard for me, and then Ivan Illich said, 'Just address her as Mistress, and me, Mister.' I didn't get along with the old woman, as she kept grumbling about me. She died at the time when the Germans and Romanians were retreating and the Soviet forces were approaching. In spring 1944 the Soviet troops liberated Gandrabury. I stayed with my adoptive parents. My friend, Yefim Nilva, returned to Odessa where he had relatives. He found his sister, completed school and served in the army. He got married. His wife Bella is Jewish. Their son's name is Alexandr. Yefim and I became lifelong friends. He is closer than a brother to me. We meet on Victory Day 15 every year.

Post-war

After the liberation I went to the sixth grade at school. Ivan Illich was mobilized to the Soviet army. He perished in Iasi [today Romania] in fall 1944. Agafia was an epileptic and I had to stay with her taking care of her. She had attacks of epilepsy every two to three weeks and stayed besides her waiting for her to recover. I worked hard about the house and in the field with Agafia. Living in a village means working hard. I joined the Komsomol 16 at school. I was eager to study and liked reading. I borrowed books from the village library. I read all I could get. When I was in the tenth grade, I read about the establishment of Israel from newspapers and heard about it on the radio. The USSR supported this event and was one of the first states to recognize Israel. As I came to understand later, this support was based on the expectation that Israel would develop into a socialist state. When Israel took a different direction, the two states drifted apart. I think that the establishment of Israel is the only compensation to the Jewish people for millions of its deceased.

After finishing school I went to Rezina for the first time hoping that one of my older brothers had survived. I had hopes, but I also feared that there were no survivors. In Rezina I was told that my brother Moisey lived in Kishinev. I found him right away. Moisey told me about all of our relatives. Moisey had been mobilized to the Soviet army at the very beginning of the war. He was at the front until 1945. He had been severely wounded in Poland and taken to hospital. After recovery he went to Uzbekistan to look for Abram. He found Lusia. Lusia and Abram lived together without getting married. Lusia told Moisey that Abram had volunteered to the front and had perished in Konigsberg [today Russia] in 1945. Moisey returned to Rezina in 1945. He had no information about me and thought that we had all perished. Moisey married Nina, a girl from Rezina. He graduated from a law school, but he never worked by his specialty. I don't know the reason; perhaps, it was the Item 5 17. He worked at a shoe store in Kishinev. He had a daughter called Faina, and a son called Grigoriy. Faina married Grigoriy Rosh after finishing school. Grigoriy finished secondary school and got married. His wife's name is Yelena. Moisey had a surgery in the 1980s to have splinters, which had been inside since the war, removed as they were troubling him.

My sister Nehoma was in Ivanovo during the war where she got married. Her husband, Semyon Abramovich, is a Jew. They had no children. They moved to Chernovtsy after the war.

After finishing school I entered the Faculty of Mathematics of Kishinev University, but then I fell ill and had to quit my studies for the time being. Later, I switched to the Pedagogical College since I could stay in the hostel there. Then I got a transfer to the extramural department getting a job as a teacher of mathematics in Raspopeny in the late 1940s and early 1950s. This was the period of the struggle against cosmopolitans [see Campaign against 'cosmopolitans'] 18, I remember the murder of Mikhoels 19, and the Doctors' Plot 20. However, I have my own point of view on it. I don't refer to this as anti-Semitism. I don't think Stalin was an anti-Semite. Stalin was a politician and he was removing his opponents. He killed more Russians and Georgians than Jews.

I think that the Doctors' Plot had its political base. Perhaps, it had to do with the establishment of Israel and with the fact how popular Golda Meir 21, the Prime Minister of Israel, was with Soviet Jews. I don't think anybody would be able to tell you the actual reason: one has to dig into the archives for it. I think these talks about the state-level anti- Semitism are a bit exaggerated. The ratio of Jews was low in the total population, but if you look at statistics, you'll see that there are many more Jewish doctors, teachers and engineers than those of any other nationality. [Editors' note: The interviewee probably means that the proportion of higher ranking professionals and intellectuals was higher among the Jews than any other nationalities in the Soviet Union.] For example, I am a Jew, and I've never concealed that fact, and I studied and faced no prejudiced attitudes towards me.

I remember the day of Stalin's death, how people cried. I was calm about it: I wasn't going to exhaust myself for this reason. The Twentieth Party Congress 22 in 1956, and the publication of the Khrushchev's 23 report, made me learn many new things. Like many others, I had no idea about the extermination of the leaders of the party, I didn't know about the number of camps [see Gulag] 24, and the number of prisoners or how many people perished there. It was a shock for me. It was a shock to learn that the people moving from Moldova [Romania] across the Dnestr to the USSR, who were communists, were taken to Stalin's camps. The situation in the country changed after the Congress, and I joined the Party in 1956.

After finishing my college I began to work as director of the school in Raspopeny. I often went to see my brother in Kishinev and met my future wife, when visiting my distant relatives. She rented a room from them. Her name was Liana Degtiar. I liked Liana at once and I met with her each time I went to Kishinev. In summer 1961 we went to the Crimea by boat. We sailed to Yalta [today Ukraine] and then traveled across the Crimea. We stayed in Gurzuf, climbed mountains for two days, walked to Alushta and went to Yevpatoria. We got married in spring. Liana is three years younger than me. She was born in Bucharest in 1933. Her father, Elih Degtiar, was born in Soroki in 1903. He graduated from the Cannes University in France and worked as chief engineer in a company in Bucharest. Her mother, Sophia Degtiar, was born in Beltsy in 1908 and finished a gymnasium there. After getting married she worked as a typist at the railroad in Bucharest.

When Bessarabia was annexed to the USSR in 1940, Liana's family returned to Soroki. During the war they were in evacuation in Kurgan, Tuba region, Tajikistan. In 1944, the family returned to Soroki after it had been liberated by the Soviet forces. Liana's father was a lecturer in an agricultural school, and her mother was a housewife, when we met. Liana graduated from the Faculty of Physics of Kishinev University and worked as a scientific employee at the laboratory of the Scientific Research Institute of Electric Instruments. We had a quiet wedding. Our friends and my wife's colleagues came to the registry office. Then we had a small party in Liana's room. Then we went to Liana's parents' house in Soroki and celebrated with the family and their acquaintances. After the wedding I moved in with Liana.

My sister Anyuta's visit from Israel in 1962 was a great pleasure for me. She took a plane to Odessa and from there she traveled to Kishinev. This was shortly after our wedding. This was our first meeting after she had moved away. I told her the story of our family. Anyuta brought me Shmilik's photograph. Anyuta had a husband and three sons: Noah, Judah and Zvi. They lived in Rishon Le Zion [today Israel]. Anyuta's husband grew and sold oranges and their sons helped him. You can imagine how concerned I was about my relatives during the wars in Israel: the Six-Day-War 25, and the War of Judgment Day [see Yom Kippur War] 26. I listened to BBC and The Voice of America. In the early 1970s my sister Nehoma and her husband Semyon Abramovich moved to Israel. They lived in Rishon Le Zion. Now I'm worried about each event, every terrorist act in Israel more than they are. I admire Israelis: they live and work despite terrorist attacks. They have fear, but they don't panic.

When I was director of the school, I was offered a job at the District Party Committee, but Liana believed that I should stick to science. She insisted that I entered a postgraduate course. I enrolled in the postgraduate course of the Academy of Pedagogical Sciences in Moscow [today Russia] and lived in a hostel in Pluschikha [a district in the historical part of Moscow] in the early 1960s. There were postgraduate students from all over the USSR and we had a full international student body: from Tajikistan, Kazakhstan, Ukraine, and I was a Jew from Moldova. Our scientific tutors and employees of the Institute of Mathematics teaching techniques were highly qualified specialists. They got along well both with postgraduate students and lecturers. I went to study in the State Library of the USSR named after Lenin [presently called National Library of Russia]. Highly skilled bibliographers helped me to find the books I needed or ordered them from other places, if necessary. If the book was a rarity, they sent a copy of it. I also studied at the library of the Ushinskiy Academy of Pedagogical Sciences. There were also scientific consultants working in the library to provide assistance to postgraduate students on various subjects. I consulted a specialist in mathematics teaching techniques in Polish schools. I'm still very grateful to many of the specialists for their great support.

Our son Alexandr was born in 1963. Liana was working and I received a stipend of a postgraduate student. Liana's parents supported us a lot. Liana often traveled to Moscow on business trips, and her parents took care of Alexandr during this time. We were always happy to see each other. We went to art exhibitions, theaters or just walked around Moscow. Liana spent the money I saved to last for a month in those few days.

After finishing the postgraduate course I returned to Kishinev where I went to work as a senior scientific employee at the Scientific Research Institute of Pedagogy. I dealt in mathematics teaching methodology. I was involved in the scientific research work. I published a book: 'Elements of geometry in primary school'. In 1968, I defended a candidate's dissertation [see Soviet/Russian doctorate degree] 27 in Moscow. Our scientific research institute belonged to the Ministry of Education of the USSR that initiated the introduction of new mathematics curricula in schools based on the experience of French schools under the guidance of Academician Kholmogorov [Kholmogorov, Andrey Nikolaevich (1903-1987): Soviet mathematician, founder of the scientific school in the probability theory and theory of functions].

The old syllabus and textbooks in mathematics underwent radical changes, starting from the first grade. Elements of higher mathematics were introduced in the senior school: set theory, integral, derivative, etc. The changes of this kind required training of teachers. I got involved in teachers' training: prepared lectures, instructional letters, read lectures, I mean, I got directly involved in the teachers' training and the development of new school textbooks. There was a lot of work to do, but unfortunately, there was opposition to this reform in the Academy of Sciences of the USSR. It was only effective for ten years: 1967 to 1976, when the schools switched back to the previous curriculum. At present, a new curricula and textbooks have been introduced, and again this reform is based on the influence of French schools.

Besides working at the Academy, I read lectures in the In-Service Teachers' Training Institute, and in Tiraspol Pedagogical College. I used to travel to Tiraspol for a day to deliver lectures to students. It took me one hour by train. The ticket cost three rubles. I returned to Kishinev in the evening. I liked teaching and got along well with my colleagues and students. I meet some of them now. After work I always spent time with Alexandr, teaching him things. My pedagogical experience happened to be very handy. Alexandr finished the first and second grades in one year, but my wife thought I was overloading the boy. However, I know that if the child manages, it's all right. It's not good, when things are too easy or too hard. When I noticed that Alexandr coped with his load in the first grade and was starting to lose interest in classes, I transferred him to the second grade. It took him some time to catch up with his classmates but he managed very well. His teachers praised him.

I taught Alexandr to follow a strict timetable: at ten o'clock he had to go to bed. At one time in the fifth grade he was having problems: played in the yard and failed to do his homework. 'I can't go to bed, I have to do my homework' he said. I told him that it didn't matter. He had to go to bed then. I also told him that he should have done his homework earlier. This taught him to do his homework on time. Teachers are very important at school, and the attitude of school children to them is important. In our family we always tried to support the authority of teachers. Alexandr was good at mathematics and we transferred him to a mathematics class in another school. He was a sociable boy and had many friends.

Liana was the supervisor of her laboratory in the institute and was working on her candidate's dissertation. In January 1969 she achieved a degree in technical sciences. In December this same year, our second son Boris was born. Boris was an individualist in contrast to Alexandr. He didn't want to go to the kindergarten and whatever efforts of even my colleagues to convince him to agree to attend a kindergarten failed. However, he went to school without any problem, but he fell ill, when he was in the third grade. He had mumps, quite a common disease with children, but had complications and fell into a coma for a long time. Thank God, the doctors managed to save him. After the disease he studied no worse than his older brother and even went to a mathematics class.

Our family spent the summer holidays together. Our favorite place was Odessa and the suburbs of Odessa: Chernomorka, Sergeyevka, and Karolino- Bugaz. Sometimes Liana's parents went there with us. We also traveled to Sochi, Sukhumi and Yalta renting a room like everybody else at the time. We sometimes went to Odessa on weekends: my colleagues and their families got together, rented a bus and went to the seashore for a weekend. Transportation, food and travel were inexpensive. We read a lot during vacations. Reading was very popular: we read newspapers, magazines and fiction. We gathered a big collection of books in Russian. Liana and I had many scientific manuals and guides in our collection. Now that we are considering moving to Israel, Liana and Boris argue a lot about what we should take there with us. Liana sends Boris to a paper utilization office to take the books she thinks aren't necessary, but he brings them back home and calls his mother an inquisitor of the 21st century, jokingly.

In 1978, Liana's parents exchanged their apartment in Soroki for an apartment in Kishinev and moved here. Her mother, Sophia Degtiar, died in late March 1988, we buried her in the Doina [cemetery in Kishinev], in the Jewish section. Liana's father died in February 1992. He was also buried in the Doina cemetery.

Alexandr finished school in 1979 and we wanted him to continue his studies. He was good at natural sciences and mathematics. He entered the Faculty of Biology of Moscow State University.

When he was a fourth-year student, he married his co-student Tatiana Yailenko in January 1983. She is from Donetsk [today Ukraine]. Her mother is Ukrainian and her father is Greek. They had a small wedding party: their fellow students, Tatiana's parents, Liana, Boris and I got together at the wedding party. We arranged the party at the canteen of the hostel. They received a room at the House of postgraduate students [one of the comfortable hostels of Moscow University]. I laughed as I looked up at the rear of this hostel [twelve-storied building]: one can see diaper's and children's clothing hanging on lines - not so bad for students! In December 1983 my grandson Leonid was born. Tatiana was a fifth-year student and took an academic leave to take care of the baby. Her mother arrived from Donetsk to help her. Alexandr was very attached to his son and even argued with his mother-in-law about training his son at times. Sasha [affectionate for Alexandr] finished a postgraduate course in Moscow, and in 1988 he and Tatiana moved to Kishinev. By this time we had paid for a three-bedroom apartment and gave our previous two-bedroom apartment and the furniture to the children. Sasha went to work at the Academy of Sciences of Moldova. In the late 1980s Liana and I were of the retirement age [pension age for men in the USSR - 60 years, for women - 55 years], but we continued working.

After finishing school Boris entered the Faculty of Physics of Kishinev University. Upon graduation he went to work at the Scientific Research Institute of Electric Instruments where Liana worked. He still works there and is very fond of his job. Boris isn't married.

In 1992 my sister invited me and my wife to Israel. Anyuta bought us tickets. We took a plane to go there. My sister and her family met us at the airport of Tel Aviv [today Israel]. You can imagine this meeting! It was the reunion of our big family: my nephews Noah, Judah and Zvi, their wives, their wives' parents, many children and grandchildren. I couldn't even count them all. Anyuta is a great grandmother. The parents gave each son pardes i.e. a plot of land with an orange garden. Once we got together at Noah's 56th birthday. We had another reunion at Judah's place. He has a big yard and a sorting machine for oranges and tangerines. He had tables installed for this whole big family to fit in his yard. There I had a feeling, it's hard to describe what it was like, hard to find words. I remembered our big family, when we sat at the table, I knew I was no longer alone: I have so many dear people, who love and remember me. However, I was a little embarrassed that there was a language barrier between me and my numerous relatives. They speak English and Ivrit, but I don't know these languages. Anyuta and I spoke Romanian and Yiddish a little. I promised my nephews that when I visit them next time, I would know English or Hebrew.

Liana and I stayed in Israel for two months. We traveled all over the country. Sometimes Noah drove us in his car. He showed us his office at the dock: he deals in the export of oranges. We traveled to Jerusalem and went to Yad Vashem 28, and to the Wailing Wall. The only place we didn't go to was a kibbutz, though I was eager to visit one since my sister worked at one, when she moved to Palestine. My acquaintances working in a kibbutz told me the kibbutzim are going through hard times now, but they are still the agricultural base of Israel. In 1992 my older brother Moisey, his wife Nina, their children Faina and Grigoriy and their families moved to Israel. They settled down in Nathania. Nina died in 2003. I visited Israel again in 1995, and in 1998. I stayed with Moisey in Nathania. I haven't learned English or Ivrit. It's hard to study languages at my age. However, Moisey's children and grandchildren remember Russian and they were always at hand to help me.

In 1993 our son Alexandr moved to Leningrad and went to work at the biophysical laboratory at the Academic Institute. He divorced Tatiana and left the apartment to her and their son. We keep in touch with Tatiana. She is a nice person. Our grandson Leonid often visits us. He is a student of the Faculty of Mathematics of Kishinev University. Alexandr remarried in Leningrad. His second wife Olga Ivanova is Russian. Their salaries were hardly enough to make ends meet. One day representatives of Israel arrived at a scientific conference in Leningrad. They offered Alexandr a job at the University of Tel Aviv. Olga followed Alexandr to Israel. In 1997 their son Ilia was born. Liana went to Israel to take care of the baby. She stayed there for three months and met with her relatives: her father's sisters and her nieces and nephews live in Israel.

After perestroika 29 the Communist Party was forbidden [Editors' note: In fact the Communist Party of the USSR ceased to exist in 1991, after the breakup of the USSR.] in Moldova and the authorities started altering the history on the wave of anti-communism. There was an issue of annexing Moldova to Romania. Mass media praised Antonescu 30 and were even going to build a monument for him in Kishinev. There were discussions and they even collected money. They called the Romanians, who came here in 1941 with German troops, liberators. Imagine how I felt: these Romanian 'liberators' exterminated my parents, three sisters and my six-year old brother plus thousands of Jews. I think that Gorbachev 31 and Yeltzin placed their own well-being at a higher priority than the well-being of the state. Of course, there were many reasons for the breakup of the USSR, but how could they do it when 76 percent of the population voted for the USSR at the referendum? [The turn out on the referendum whether to preserve the USSR as a single and indivisible state on 17th March 1991 was 174 million (80 percent of the total population). Out of that 112 million or 76.4 percent voted for preserving the USSR].

The Jewish life began to revive in Kishinev after perestroika in the 1990s. During the period of the USSR, an association of former Jewish and non- Jewish prisoners of ghettos and camps was established. Later, it fell apart and now I'm a member of the Jewish association. Later, Jewish organizations were established in Kishinev: the Jewish cultural center and the community center. Jews began to celebrate Jewish holidays together. The Jewish life particularly revived, when communists obtained the parliamentary majority in Moldova. [The interviewee probably means that communists being internationalists ex officio pay better attention to the co-existence of the different nationalities.] I think the Jewish situation has improved. It wasn't that good before, when in many areas activities were separated from the rest of the population of Moldova.

When the communists came to power, the Moldovans also started thinking about the victims of fascism. Our local Jewish newspaper, 'Yevreiskoe mestechko' [The Jewish Town], wrote about the local amateur museum of Holocaust in Yedintsy. It is amazing that this museum was established by a Moldovan director of a local school. I think it's important since Jews have always been active citizens in Moldova: doctors, teachers and craftsmen. Now research work has been undertaken in other Moldovan towns where Jews were exterminated. They find the righteous men [see the Righteous Among the Nations] 32, who rescued Jews and establish museums like this one.

The Hesed 33 Jehudah, a Jewish charity organization, is very efficient. At times I hear or read in newspapers about people grumbling about the food that they don't find to be so good. I think they have no grounds to complain. Hesed does a great job. Its numerous volunteers work hard and help thousands of Jews. My wife and I receive food packages each month. We refused this for a long time believing that there were Jews who were in a worse situation than us. I also receive a pension from the Claims Conference [Conference on Jewish Material Claims against Germany. It was founded in the 1950s to provide assistance to victims of the Holocaust.], as a former underage prisoner of a ghetto. All our relatives live in Israel. We are also considering moving to Israel.

Glossary

1 Cantonist

The cantonists were Jewish children who were conscripted to military institutions in tsarist Russia with the intention that the conditions in which they were placed would force them to adopt Christianity. Enlistment for the cantonist institutions was most rigorously enforced in the first half of the 19th century. It was abolished in 1856 under Alexander II. Compulsory military service for Jews was introduced in 1827. Jews between the age of 12 and 25 could be drafted and those under 18 were placed in the cantonist units. The Jewish communal authorities were obliged to furnish a certain quota of army recruits. The high quota that was demanded, the severe service conditions, and the knowledge that the conscript would not observe Jewish religious laws and would be cut off from his family, made those liable for conscription try to evade it.. Thus, the communal leaders filled the quota from children of the poorest homes.

2 Bessarabia

Historical area between the Prut and Dnestr rivers, in the southern part of Odessa region. Bessarabia was part of Russia until the Revolution of 1917. In 1918 it declared itself an independent republic, and later it united with Romania. The Treaty of Paris (1920) recognized the union but the Soviet Union never accepted this. In 1940 Romania was forced to cede Bessarabia and Northern Bukovina to the USSR. The two provinces had almost 4 million inhabitants, mostly Romanians. Although Romania reoccupied part of the territory during World War II the Romanian peace treaty of 1947 confirmed their belonging to the Soviet Union. Today it is part of Moldova.

3 Great Patriotic War

On 22nd June 1941 at 5 o'clock in the morning Nazi Germany attacked the Soviet Union without declaring war. This was the beginning of the so-called Great Patriotic War. The German blitzkrieg, known as Operation Barbarossa, nearly succeeded in breaking the Soviet Union in the months that followed. Caught unprepared, the Soviet forces lost whole armies and vast quantities of equipment to the German onslaught in the first weeks of the war. By November 1941 the German army had seized the Ukrainian Republic, besieged Leningrad, the Soviet Union's second largest city, and threatened Moscow itself. The war ended for the Soviet Union on 9th May 1945.

4 Annexation of Bessarabia to the Soviet Union

At the end of June 1940 the Soviet Union demanded Romania to withdraw its troops from Bessarabia and to abandon the territory. Romania withdrew its troops and administration in the same month and between 28th June and 3rd July, the Soviets occupied the region. At the same time Romania was obliged to give up Northern Transylvania to Hungary and Southern-Dobrudja to Bulgaria. These territorial losses influenced Romanian politics during World War II to a great extent.

5 Russian Revolution of 1917

Revolution, in which the tsarist regime was overthrown in the Russian Empire and, under Lenin, was replaced by the Bolshevik rule. The two phases of the Revolution were: February Revolution, which came about due to food and fuel shortages during World War I, and during which the tsar abdicated and a provisional government took over. The second phase took place in the form of a coup led by Lenin in October/November (October Revolution) and saw the seizure of power by the Bolsheviks.

6 Annexation of Bessarabia to Romania

During the chaotic days of the Soviet Revolution the national assembly of Moldavians convoked to Kishinev decided on 4th December 1917 the proclamation of an independent Moldavian state. In order to impede autonomous aspirations, Russia occupied the Moldavian capital in January 1918. Upon Moldavia's desperate request, the army of neighboring Romania entered Kishinev in the same month recapturing the city from the Bolsheviks. This was the decisive step toward the union with Romania: the Moldavians accepted the annexation without any preliminary condition.

7 King Carol I

1839-1914, Ruler of Romania (1866-1881) and King of Romania (1881-1914). He signed with Austro-Hungary a political-military treaty (1883), to which adhered Germany and Italy, linking this way Romania to The Central Powers. Under his kingship the Independence War of Romania (1877) took place. He insisted on Romania joining World War I on Germany and Austro-Hungary's side.

8 Russian stove

Big stone stove stoked with wood. They were usually built in a corner of the kitchen and served to heat the house and cook food. It had a bench that made a comfortable bed for children and adults in wintertime.

9 Hakhsharah camps

Training camps organized by the Zionists, in which Jewish youth in the Diaspora received intellectual and physical training, especially in agricultural work, in preparation for settling in Palestine.

10 Cuzist

Member of the Romanian fascist organization named after Alexandru C. Cuza, one of the most fervent fascist leaders in Romania, who was known for his ruthless chauvinism and anti-Semitism. In 1919 Cuza founded the LANC, which became the National Christian Party in 1935 with an anti-Semitic program.

11 Fighting battalion

People's volunteer corps during World War II; its soldiers patrolled towns, dug trenches and kept an eye on buildings during night bombing raids. Students often volunteered for these fighting battalions.

12 Romanian occupation of Odessa

Romanian troops occupied Odessa in October 1941. They immediately enforced anti-Jewish measures. Following the Antonescu-ordered slaughter of the Jews of Odessa, the Romanian occupation authorities deported the survivors to camps in the Golta district: 54,000 to the Bogdanovka camp, 18,000 to the Akhmetchetka camp, and 8,000 to the Domanevka camp. In Bogdanovka all the Jews were shot, with the Romanian gendarmerie, the Ukrainian police, and Sonderkommando R, made up of Volksdeutsche, taking part. In January and February 1942, 12,000 Ukrainian Jews were murdered in the two other camps. A total of 185,000 Ukrainian Jews were murdered by Romanian and German army units.

13 Kolkhoz

In the Soviet Union the policy of gradual and voluntary collectivization of agriculture was adopted in 1927 to encourage food production while freeing labor and capital for industrial development. In 1929, with only 4% of farms in kolkhozes, Stalin ordered the confiscation of peasants' land, tools, and animals; the kolkhoz replaced the family farm.

14 Voroshylov, Kliment Yefremovich (1881-1969)

Soviet military leader and public official. He was an active revolutionary before the Revolution of 1917 and an outstanding Red Army commander in the Russian Civil War. As commissar for military and naval affairs, later defense, Voroshilov helped reorganize the Red Army. He was a member of the Politburo of the Central Committee of the Communist Party from 1926 and a member of the Supreme Soviet from 1937. He was dropped from the Central Committee in 1961 but reelected to it in 1966.

15 Victory Day in Russia (9th May)

National holiday to commemorate the defeat of Nazi Germany and the end of World War II and honor the Soviets who died in the war.

16 Komsomol

Communist youth political organization created in 1918. The task of the Komsomol was to spread of the ideas of communism and involve the worker and peasant youth in building the Soviet Union. The Komsomol also aimed at giving a communist upbringing by involving the worker youth in the political struggle, supplemented by theoretical education. The Komsomol was more popular than the Communist Party because with its aim of education people could accept uninitiated young proletarians, whereas party members had to have at least a minimal political qualification.

17 Item 5

This was the nationality factor, which was included on all job application forms, Jews, who were considered a separate nationality in the Soviet Union, were not favored in this respect from the end of World War WII until the late 1980s.

18 Campaign against 'cosmopolitans'

The campaign against 'cosmopolitans', i.e. Jews, was initiated in articles in the central organs of the Communist Party in 1949. The campaign was directed primarily at the Jewish intelligentsia and it was the first public attack on Soviet Jews as Jews. 'Cosmopolitans' writers were accused of hating the Russian people, of supporting Zionism, etc. Many Yiddish writers as well as the leaders of the Jewish Anti-Fascist Committee were arrested in November 1948 on charges that they maintained ties with Zionism and with American 'imperialism'. They were executed secretly in 1952. The anti-Semitic Doctors' Plot was launched in January 1953. A wave of anti-Semitism spread through the USSR. Jews were removed from their positions, and rumors of an imminent mass deportation of Jews to the eastern part of the USSR began to spread. Stalin's death in March 1953 put an end to the campaign against 'cosmopolitans'.

19 Mikhoels, Solomon (1890-1948) (born Vovsi)

Great Soviet actor, producer and pedagogue. He worked in the Moscow State Jewish Theater (and was its art director from 1929). He directed philosophical, vivid and monumental works. Mikhoels was murdered by order of the State Security Ministry.

20 Doctors' Plot

The Doctors' Plot was an alleged conspiracy of a group of Moscow doctors to murder leading government and party officials. In January 1953, the Soviet press reported that nine doctors, six of whom were Jewish, had been arrested and confessed their guilt. As Stalin died in March 1953, the trial never took place. The official paper of the Party, the Pravda, later announced that the charges against the doctors were false and their confessions obtained by torture. This case was one of the worst anti-Semitic incidents during Stalin's reign. In his secret speech at the Twentieth Party Congress in 1956 Khrushchev stated that Stalin wanted to use the Plot to purge the top Soviet leadership.

21 Golda Meir (1898-1978)

Born in Russia, she moved to Palestine and became a well-known and respected politician who fought for the rights of the Israeli people. In 1948, Meir was appointed Israel's Ambassador to the Soviet Union. From 1969 to 1974 she was Prime Minister of Israel. Despite the Labor Party's victory at the elections in 1974, she resigned in favor of Yitzhak Rabin. She was buried on Mount Herzl in Jerusalem in 1978.

22 Twentieth Party Congress

At the Twentieth Congress of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union in 1956 Khrushchev publicly debunked the cult of Stalin and lifted the veil of secrecy from what had happened in the USSR during Stalin's leadership.

23 Khrushchev, Nikita (1894-1971)

Soviet communist leader. After Stalin's death in 1953, he became first secretary of the Central Committee, in effect the head of the Communist Party of the USSR. In 1956, during the 20th Party Congress, Khrushchev took an unprecedented step and denounced Stalin and his methods. He was deposed as premier and party head in October 1964. In 1966 he was dropped from the Party's Central Committee.

24 Gulag

The Soviet system of forced labor camps in the remote regions of Siberia and the Far North, which was first established in 1919. However, it was not until the early 1930s that there was a significant number of inmates in the camps. By 1934 the Gulag, or the Main Directorate for Corrective Labor Camps, then under the Cheka's successor organization the NKVD, had several million inmates. The prisoners included murderers, thieves, and other common criminals, along with political and religious dissenters. The Gulag camps made significant contributions to the Soviet economy during the rule of Stalin. Conditions in the camps were extremely harsh. After Stalin died in 1953, the population of the camps was reduced significantly, and conditions for the inmates improved somewhat.

25 Six-Day-War

The first strikes of the Six-Day-War happened on 5th June 1967 by the Israeli Air Force. The entire war only lasted 132 hours and 30 minutes. The fighting on the Egyptian side only lasted four days, while fighting on the Jordanian side lasted three. Despite the short length of the war, this was one of the most dramatic and devastating wars ever fought between Israel and all of the Arab nations. This war resulted in a depression that lasted for many years after it ended. The Six-Day-War increased tension between the Arab nations and the Western World because of the change in mentalities and political orientations of the Arab nations.

26 Yom Kippur War

The Arab-Israeli War of 1973, also known as the Yom Kippur War or the Ramadan War, was a war between Israel on one side and Egypt and Syria on the other side. It was the fourth major military confrontation between Israel and the Arab states. The war lasted for three weeks: it started on 6th October 1973 and ended on 22nd October on the Syrian front and on 26th October on the Egyptian front.

27 Soviet/Russian doctorate degrees

Graduate school in the Soviet Union (aspirantura, or ordinatura for medical students), which usually took about 3 years and resulted in a dissertation. Students who passed were awarded a 'kandidat nauk' (lit. candidate of sciences) degree. If a person wanted to proceed with his or her research, the next step would be to apply for a doctorate degree (doktarontura). To be awarded a doctorate degree, the person had to be involved in the academia, publish consistently, and write an original dissertation. In the end he/she would be awarded a 'doctor nauk' (lit. doctor of sciences) degree.

28 Yad Vashem

This museum, founded in 1953 in Jerusalem, honors both Holocaust martyrs and 'the Righteous Among the Nations', non-Jewish rescuers who have been recognized for their 'compassion, courage and morality'.

29 Perestroika (Russian for restructuring)

Soviet economic and social policy of the late 1980s, associated with the name of Soviet politician Mikhail Gorbachev. The term designated the attempts to transform the stagnant, inefficient command economy of the Soviet Union into a decentralized, market-oriented economy. Industrial managers and local government and party officials were granted greater autonomy, and open elections were introduced in an attempt to democratize the Communist Party organization. By 1991, perestroika was declining and was soon eclipsed by the dissolution of the USSR.

30 Antonescu, Ion (1882-1946)

Political and military leader of the Romanian state, president of the Ministers' Council from 1940 to 1944. In 1940 he formed a coalition with the Legionary leaders. From 1941 he introduced a dictatorial regime that continued to pursue the depreciation of the Romanian political system started by King Carol II. His strong anti- Semitic beliefs led to the persecution, deportation and killing of many Jews in Romania. He was arrested on 23rd August 1944 and sent into prison in the USSR until he was put on trial in the election year of 1946. He was sentenced to death for his crimes as a war criminal and shot in the same year.

31 Gorbachev, Mikhail (1931- )

Soviet political leader. Gorbachev joined the Communist Party in 1952 and gradually moved up in the party hierarchy. In 1970 he was elected to the Supreme Soviet of the USSR, where he remained until 1990. In 1980 he joined the politburo, and in 1985 he was appointed general secretary of the party. In 1986 he embarked on a comprehensive program of political, economic, and social liberalization under the slogans of glasnost (openness) and perestroika (restructuring). The government released political prisoners, allowed increased emigration, attacked corruption, and encouraged the critical reexamination of Soviet history. The Congress of People's Deputies, founded in 1989, voted to end the Communist Party's control over the government and elected Gorbachev executive president. Gorbachev dissolved the Communist Party and granted the Baltic states independence. Following the establishment of the Commonwealth of Independent States in 1991, he resigned as president. Since 1992, Gorbachev has headed international organizations

32 The Righteous Among the Nations

Non-Jews who rescued Jews during the Holocaust.

33 Hesed

Meaning care and mercy in Hebrew, Hesed stands for the charity organization founded by Amos Avgar in the early 20th century. Supported by Claims Conference and Joint Hesed helps for Jews in need to have a decent life despite hard economic conditions and encourages development of their self-identity. Hesed provides a number of services aimed at supporting the needs of all, and particularly elderly members of the society. The major social services include: work in the center facilities (information, advertisement of the center activities, foreign ties and free lease of medical equipment); services at homes (care and help at home, food products delivery, delivery of hot meals, minor repairs); work in the community (clubs, meals together, day-time polyclinic, medical and legal consultations); service for volunteers (training programs). The Hesed centers have inspired a real revolution in the Jewish life in the FSU countries. People have seen and sensed the rebirth of the Jewish traditions of humanism. Currently over eighty Hesed centers exist in the FSU countries. Their activities cover the Jewish population of over eight hundred settlements.

Erzsebet Barsony

Erzsebet Barsony
Budapest
Hungary
Interviewers: Klara Lazok and Viktoria Kutasi
Date of interview: November 2004 - May 2005

Unfortunately, Erzsebet Barsony passed away before finalizing the interview; therefore the last specifications were made with the help of her niece, Erzsebet Sandor.

In the text her additions appear in italics in round brackets. The introduction about Erzsebet Barsony and her surroundings is also her work. Hereby we would like to thank her for her kind help.

The only room of the apartment in Ferencvaros is full of former middle- class furniture and carpets. Noticeably they were brought here from a larger apartment.

They are the pieces of a suite made between the two world wars: a chest of drawers combined with a desk, a glass cabinet, a round table with four velvet covered chairs around it.

The carpets, like the objects in the glass cabinet, are not as precious as showy. They represent a former middle-class milieu, which Aunt Bizsu has never really been part of in her entire life.

Aunt Bizsu is a very old, wizened - because of her countless illnesses - woman, with short, snow-white hair and a searching goblin look.

She has poor eyesight and besides one of her eyes is smaller than the other, so her forced looking creates the impression in the person sitting across her that Aunt Bizsu is going to reveal her, and draw even the most hidden secret out of her.

Her lively, sparkling look reflects the lively, sparkling mind, which is a rare gift at the age of 95. Moving is difficult for her: she uses a walking stick, but she doesn't use it at home.

She is self-supporting, as far as she can; she doesn't ask anyone's help. She spends most of the day in the rocking chair near the table: Mici, the cat in her lap, the remote control of the television in her hand.

She watches the Spektrum, National Geographic and Romantic channels. She listens to the television with headphones, so she doesn't disturb the neighbors.

Hanging above her head, in a big black frame is the picture of her 15-year-old son, lost in Auschwitz.

  • Family background

I don't know exactly where any of my ancestors came from, but surely they were all from Hungary. I know this, because for some years at the beginning of World War II, Hungarian citizenship had to be proved, because there were people who were not Hungarian citizens when Hitlerism began [see anti- Jewish laws in Hungary] 1.

That's why I know that my father was born here in Hungary. Of my great-grandmother, my maternal grandmother's mother I only remember that she couldn't speak Hungarian. Well in Hungary only German was spoken in former times.

[This is an exaggeration of course; it is only true about part of the Jewry in Hungary]. I met her at my grandmother's; she always went there to visit. I couldn't converse with her, she talked to me in German, and I talked to her in Hungarian. She wore a small hat with a ribbon on her head.

This is how I remember her. I only knew her of my great-grandmothers, and her sister. I didn't know any other great-grandparents. I don't know where my grandparents were born, and if they had ever lived elsewhere outside of Budapest, I only know that my father was born in Halabor [today Ukraine].

My grandfather was called Samuel Bauer, my grandmother Leni Weiss. He probably didn't go to school at all. I remember that he used to go to the cinema with my mother, and she read the subtitles for him.

My paternal grandmother and my later stepmother's mother were sisters. It's interesting, that one of the sisters magyarized her name, she was called Eugenia Feher, but the other one, my paternal grandmother Leni Weiss didn't. They had a brother, Uncle Jentli [Jozsef Feher].

My paternal grandparents lived in the same house with us. My grandmother lived on the first floor, we lived on the second. My grandmother kept a maid, too. My grandmother was 63 years old when she died, but I only remember, that the maid used to lace up her shoes, help her to get dressed, and I found her very old.

Now, at age 96, I don't feel as powerless as that 63-year-old woman was. I still put on my shoes alone and don't let myself be dressed. My grandparents were religious, managed a kosher household, had a kosher kitchen and observed the holidays.

My mother's parents, the Kellermanns lived on Hernad Street until the end of their lives. After my mother died, nobody really looked after them. Although my mother had several sisters and brothers, aunts, uncles, and some of them were wealthy. Unfortunately I can't tell you more about them.

I don't know anything about my Kellermann grandparents' occupation; I was a little girl when they died. They were very religious. Whenever my grandmother saw me, she always cried, because she remembered her daughter. But nobody helped. I have no idea about my grandparents' political views, since we were children, and they didn't share serious matters with us.

As far as I know they didn't have problems because of their Jewish origin, they spoke Hungarian at home, and were on good terms with everybody. [The relationship with this branch of the family was very loose because of the mother's early death].

We lived on Haller Street; I lived there when I got married. We had one large room provided with recess; the recess was separated with an entire dining room set in it. When someone entered, he went into the dining room first, and then followed the bedroom. We had tap water, but no electricity; we used a kerosene lamp for lighting.

Later an oil lamp was introduced. [She is probably talking about gas lighting, for which the gas was obtained from oil. Gas lighting started to give place to electric lighting - especially in apartments - at the beginning of the 20th century]. When my younger sister was born, they employed a maid, because they needed someone to take care of the baby.

She was almost blind and broke almost everything, but they couldn't afford a more expensive one. At that time maid-and-place- finding agencies existed. When someone went to them, he could get a cheaper or a more expensive maid, depending on what kind of maid was needed.

There was a synagogue on Remete Street, which we used to go to, and there was the Pava Street synagogue, but only my sister went there; at that time they were directed there, to Pava Street from school. When I was a schoolgirl, we only went to the synagogue on Remete Street. I also went to the talmud torah, which was also on Remete Street.

At home in the family we always spoke Hungarian, I don't even know if my father spoke any other languages. My parents also observed religion, we had a kosher kitchen and observed Sabbath; I mean they went to the synagogue every Saturday. The women didn't go to the synagogue every Saturday, only on holidays.

However the men, my father and grandfather went on Fridays and Saturdays, too. We observed Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur and everything else, Pesach, too. Before the holidays we were always dressed in new clothes from head to toe. (Niece: 'My grandfather of course didn't have payes, he wasn't Orthodox, or at least he didn't look one, because he didn't wear a caftan and tefillin.')

In my childhood on the street where we lived there were Jews and Christians too, but there were no quarrels between Jews and Christians. We all played together; there were many children in the building. As far as neighbors and friends were concerned, it didn't matter whether they were Christian or Jewish. Our neighbor was also a Christian and he was on very good terms with my father. My stepmother made friends with all of our neighbors.

In our neighborhood there was a Jewish coffee shop and a grocery shop too. There was a liqueur store as well, also owned by a Jew. The liqueur store was on the right side of the gate, and on the left there was a big wine shop. And even in the house, in the courtyard opposite ours there was a pub. I think that what we had the most of were pubs.

There were many Jewish shops, because in the past Jews couldn't be landowners. I only found out as an adult the reason why lawyers, doctors and scholars were all Jews, and why there were no Jewish peasants.

[Until the 1850s the Jews in Hungary could not own land, plots and real estates, and could not occupy positions at state offices, so they were engaged in article production and sale, and money transactions.

When the modernization of Hungary began the Jews oriented themselves towards industrial and trade enterprises, and clerk positions at banks, companies and in the private sector, as well as free intellectual professions.] This was beyond me. Then I started reading, and I found out, that as a matter of fact Jews were not allowed to own lands. So their children had to study in order to be able to make a living.

My father [Izidor Bauer] was born in Halabor. When I was born he was 30 years old, so he was probably born in 1879. We had a shoe shop in the same house where we lived, but I don't remember whether my father was a shoemaker or a merchant. I don't really remember what he was doing before World War I broke out.

I'm sure that my mother was born in Budapest, around 1888. Her maiden name was Ilona Kellermann. I have no idea what schooling she had. My father was 27 years old when he married my mother. I've never seen a wedding picture, maybe there wasn't any. My mother married at a very young age, at age 18.

My father's situation wasn't easy, because my mother had been taken ill with tuberculosis before I was born, and the doctors predicted her three months. Sparing no money and time, my father left no stone unturned to prolong her life, and he succeeded for four years.

She died in 1912. Then he was left there with two children and the remainder of his fortune. The official procedure began, when the court of guardians demanded my mother's marriage portion to be left in safe custody to the benefit of the orphans. (To say nothing of the fact, that by the time we became majors, our money wasn't worth a dime, so we didn't even take it over). But with this arrangement they destroyed my father. This is how we became poor.

  • Growing up

Generally speaking I have very few memories of my mother. She wasn't even 24 when she died of pulmonary tuberculosis. I was so young that it didn't affect me as strongly as it affected my brother. My brother almost became ill because of it. He was two years older, and it made a big difference. I only put together the pieces of the mosaic later.

My brother, Arpad Bauer, was born on 8th September 1907 in Budapest. We spent a lot of time together in my childhood, because he was only allowed to go to play if he took me along. But I was really a nuisance to him.

He would pick me up and run with me, because he wanted to catch up with his mates. He also only completed the four classes of elementary and four classes of middle school, and didn't learn any kind of trade afterwards, because he helped my father on the market. He got married, because he wanted to be independent.

He was deported together with his wife and their six-year-old son, Gyurika [affectionate for Gyorgy]. The entire family perished in Auschwitz.

My father's parents didn't leave him alone: they wanted him to get married, because they had no patience to look after us; we were a burden to them, so my father got married quite early. I think that this second marriage was arranged.

My stepmother [Janka Bauer, nee Schwartz] wasn't even 18 yet when she married our father.

She probably wasn't in love with my father, but valued him, because he was a diligent and good-looking man, with a furnished apartment, though with two children, but my stepmother took it upon herself, because she wanted to escape misery.

About this second wedding I do have memories; it was in 1914. There is no picture of this wedding either, but I remember what my stepmother looked like as a bride, because at that time I was already five years old and my brother was seven.

We ran away to my step-grandmother's - we lived close to her place - because the wedding was there and we wanted to see the bride. When they noticed that we were there, they took us from there of course, because we shouldn't have been there. It was a normal wedding - the bride wore a veil - in the synagogue.

  • During World War I

Then the bitter period started. After my father had been drafted in World War I, there was no wage-earner left to provide for us, so my mother had to work. Since we didn't have any reserves, we were left there without any income.

My mother was a trained linen seamstress. She managed to get a job at a very distinguished downtown shop. She did a very good job as a homeworker, she sewed beautiful things on the model of something, they were very satisfied with her, but she earned so little, that she could only maintain herself, and pay the rent.

It wasn't enough for us, so we ate at the grandparents'. There was no picking and choosing; whether we liked the food or not, we simply couldn't get anything else. I was a picky eater; I never found anything I liked, so I rather didn't eat. There was nothing to be found, and we had to stand in line for everything: from frozen potatoes, out of which the juice was running, to everything else. Slowly my brother and I became the ones who stood in line.

There was no electricity in our house, and we had to stand in line for kerosene and for firewood too. The room was never heated, the only heat came from the kitchen stove, and that only as long as the cooking lasted. It is probable that a black market existed at that time too, and one could get everything for money, but we didn't even have a red cent.

My grandparents had money, but they rather invested it in war-loan, and they lost it all. Back then as a child I didn't understand much of these things, I only thought that 'nobody loves us, we are just dragging on in the world. We are children, and we miss parental hugs and love.'

Years went by, and nothing changed. We didn't see our father; we knew that he was alive, but we had no idea about when we would see him again. We only knew that our mother was waiting for him, because she took care of all his belongings. She sometimes took them out and left them in the fresh air, so that they wouldn't become moth-eaten. She preserved jam and all kinds of bottled fruit, and we weren't allowed to touch these, because they were preserved for 'Daddy'; we didn't get much of these. My brother would sometimes pinch from them a little, and he was punished for it. Our childhood went by with us getting used to being poor.

It rarely occurred that my mother organized a festive afternoon, this happened very rarely. She sent us to the candy store for two-three petits fours, and opened a jar of bottled fruit. At these occasions she locked the door, so that Grandma wouldn't find out, because she would have considered it thoughtlessness.

This is how our life passed. I missed caresses the most, because I saw that another mother would give a beating to her child, if he was naughty, but soon after she would hug and kiss him.

Then the prisoners started to drift home slowly, because the revolution had broken out in Russia [see Russian Revolution of 1917] 2 and as they could, people set out for home; our father also arrived. I can't even tell you how happy we were. My father was surprised that he could change his clothes: we had kept all his clothes; not even a handkerchief was missing. He became an 'elegant man' in seconds, and only then did I start to recognize him.

Although not many changes took place in our life, because in the meantime the revolution broke out here too [see Hungarian Soviet Republic] 3, which was very interesting for us, as children, but it was a terrible thing for the adults. Just as before, there was nothing to be had, but perhaps we had a little bit more.

Perhaps my grandmother had opened her purse, out of joy on the return of her only son, or my father had money, I don't know, but our life turned for the better. But not for a long time, because our father was in poor health, and couldn't earn enough money; poverty brought along anxiety, nervousness, and quarreling.

There was chaos in the country. We could have been satisfied easily, because we liked beans very much in every form and pasta too: this was the poor man's food, because it was cheap, but our mother didn't like it, and generally didn't really like to cook.

My younger sister, Margit was born when my father came home from the war, in 1919. She was ten and a half years younger than I was, but she is already dead. I loved her enormously. There had always been this very strong bond between us. My sister was still busy going to school - she was eight years old - when I got married.

Then she became an apprentice in my shop and learned the milliner trade. She married a Christian man, Laszlo Toth, and it was due to this that she wasn't deported. (The statement of the niece, Margit's daughter, about her mother's fate: 'Her parents had a cousin called Margit, who emigrated with her jeweler husband to Brazil at the beginning of the 1930s, and he was successful as a jeweler. /Margit Bauer's parents, Izidor Bauer and Janka Schwartz were cousins, this is how they had a common cousin/.

This Margit, on the occasion of her visit to Budapest in 1937, took the small Margit Bauer with her and so to say adopted her, and practically they made her emigrate. My mother was still a young girl, she wasn't even 20, but because of her unquenchable love for Laszlo Toth she came home in 1939. She begged them to let her go home, so that she wouldn't have to look at the sea in Brazil. So she came home after two years, and she was homesick for Brazil all her life.')

In the house where we were raised, there were many children and we played together very much, and we were always loud, because we had no real toys so we ran around from the attic to the cellar, and yelled 'ipi-apacs.'[A variation of the hide-and-seek game combined with a race.

The finder counts turning towards the ipi-apacs wall, while the players hide away, then he sets off to find them. The players who are found run a race with the finder to the wall. If the last player reaches the wall first, the finder remains finder for another turn, if the finder wins the race to the wall, the last player takes the finder's place.

If the finder beats more than half of the players in the race, then the player who was first found takes the finder's place. Hajdu Gyula: Magyar népi játékok gy?jteménye (Bp., 1971).] Or we played 'give us a soldier, king!' [A game played by two teams. The teams line up facing one another and the team members grab each other's hand.

The stronger players run into the other team by turns and if they manage to break the line get a player from the team in question. The team with the more members wins.] I think children these days don't know this game, but for this we didn't need any money, only good feet and throat, and that was for free.

There lived a family next to us, the Fenyes', they also belonged to my childhood, and played an important role later in my life. [As can be seen in the family tree, they weren't only neighbors, but relatives as well: Roza Fenyes was the father's sister, so she was an aunt.]

At their house we were allowed to do everything, we played theater, put on all kinds of clothes and jumped up and down on the sofa. In a word, we messed up the house many times, but we tidied up the room in some measure, so that by the time Aunt Roza, the mother came home, she wouldn't find too big a chaos.

It was a joyful family, although they were even poorer than we were. They moved here from Szatmar [today Romania] when the war broke out. Their apartment was the same size as ours, but there were nine children, the oldest one was 13 years old, the two youngest a couple months old - they were twins. They had two children who didn't live with them anymore, a boy, who was born deaf and dumb, and was raised at the institute for the deaf and dumb, and their next daughter wasn't with them either, she lived somewhere abroad. Miklos [Mor] was 13 years old, then followed Pali [affectionate for Pal], Cilike [affectionate for Cecilia], Szeren, Etus [affectionate for Etelka], who was of my age, then the twins, Berta and Laci [affectionate for Laszlo].

Aunt Roza was a poor peddler, she even traveled on top of the train, when she went to the country and took there whatever people there needed, and brought things she could sell back here. The two older boys also helped her: they sold candy to the soldiers at the Jozsef Ferenc army post.

Meanwhile they should have been looking after the smaller kids, but I think that they grew up on their own, nobody bossed them about. Perhaps this is why they were cheerful. When Aunt Roza arrived - sometimes only at 10 in the evening - she was very quick: she quickly fixed some dinner, woke the children up, and then they ate.

She always cooked things the children liked. She made up fabulous things, for example she cooked corn in a big pot, which people usually feed to chicken, potato pasta, which I liked very much, and beans in all forms, in any way she could think of. She had ideas, she diluted browned semolina with water, and then she boiled it down, and there was always some topping: yellow sugar or fried onion.

I went to school a very long time ago, during World War I. I didn't always go to the same school, because sometimes there were soldiers in the school that was close to our place. I started school at the age of six, which was around 1915. I had a terrible anti-Semitic geography teacher, in the third or fourth grade, as far as I remember, who hated Jews very much. When a Jewish child confused something, she would say, 'Go to Palestine!' I also remember the handicraft teacher.

Then there was the class mistress; there were no problems with her, and she never said anything nasty about Jews. She was a beautiful woman. There were no problems with any of my classmates. Anyhow, I was a very withdrawn child, things at home weren't really sound, and it could be felt that our mother had died.

I couldn't really relax and fit in, I was always lonely. I wasn't an excellent student, but I always learned the lessons we were given and even that only because my mother required it. I hated the subjects for which I had to cram up, because I never understood what I learned this way. I have another interesting experience from school.

We marched with the school when the revolution [the Chrysanthenum Revolution] broke out. Then they took us to the Orczy-garden, and we ran up and down in the trenches, on the enclosed section where they trained the soldiers.

I didn't finish middle school [see Civil school] 4, because I had to go to the hospital: I had a major operation, which determined my entire life. I was ill for six years. I dropped out from the second class of middle school, and I was ill until age 17. I had tuberculosis.

My mother died of pulmonary tuberculosis, and it seems that the illness affected my bones [skeletal tuberculosis]. The illness broke out as a result of a hit. My grandmother's maid was swinging a heavy iron pot and I ran into it and it hit my thigh. 

After a couple of months it turned out that I had a limp. They said it was a bad habit. By the time they discovered what my problem was, I had such a big hole in my thighbone that it collapsed at every step. I was in the hospital for one year uninterruptedly.

A famous professor operated me for free, but only because I was an extraordinary case. Otherwise he only operated people if they paid a lot of money. The professor learnt his trade on me, and due to his malpractice I didn't recover for six years, and the illness lasted until age 17. My childhood was taken by the war, my maidenhood by my illness.

After I recovered I wanted to learn a trade at all costs, but my mother didn't want me to, since she could use me as a maid for free at home. My mother sewed, but she could never live on that. She's never let me go anywhere on Sundays, or to meet my girlfriends, colleagues.

She would only allow me to go and learn a trade if I did everything after I got home. So I became a milliner apprentice. The milliner's where I was working, wasn't making enough money, and my boss told me that he was going to discontinue but not terminate my contract, so that I wouldn't lose a year, and that if I found a new job, he would transfer my contract. I tried to find an employment, and I managed quite quickly.

I liked my trade very much, and I learned it very quickly too: after half a year I worked independently. The mamzel made the model hat, and then I made the other hats afterwards. Of course, there wasn't only me, but there were other apprentices and independent workers as well, and I was one of these, only my salary was an apprentice salary, even though I did a better job than any of them. I could have even substituted the mamzel, and I told her, that if she didn't pay me more, I wouldn't stay there any longer.

She didn't take it seriously, but the day I told her, I went to find a job somewhere else. I had much self- confidence, and I knew that I could find an employment, and I did find another job.

Meanwhile I had a personal life too: in the evenings I washed the dishes at home, and at weekends I did the housecleaning, but sometimes I did have some free time, and got together with the Fenyes children. True enough that they weren't children anymore.

Miki [Mor Fenyes] was the oldest, and he also went to fairs, and he sometimes came to our place to play chess with my father, and sometimes we had long conversations. He had problems, wanted to marry, and he thought that if he married a wealthy girl he would open a shop.

Whenever he had the time he went looking for a wife. Many times he discussed it with me, and he even introduced me to some of them.

I had a girlfriend and sometimes my mother let me go out on Sundays, but I had to be home by 8 o'clock. I had a very good time there, because we got together, boys and girls. Aunt Balazs - that was their first name - was very hospitable, she always baked milk loaf, and there was coffee or chocolate milk, too. Meanwhile, months went by, and I felt really bad about going to the Balazs' all the time, and I thought that we should have invited them, too.

My mother didn't want to because she said that we couldn't afford it. I had served my apprenticeship when she finally agreed that I invited the Balazs kids with their partners, Etus Fenyes, who was my age, and a girlfriend of mine called Szidi.

  • Married life

At that time Miki was coming to play chess with my father quite often. My mother was annoying me by saying that he wasn't coming because of the chess, but because of me. I told her that it couldn't be true, because he kept discussing with me where he had been looking for a wife.

Moreover we were good buddies, and I couldn't imagine him as my boyfriend. But that week, when he came up to our place I told him that we were going to have guests on Sunday, and that he should come too, if he felt like it. Sunday arrived, the guests came, and to my biggest surprise, Miklos arrived, too.

Because at that time there was no radio or television, we usually played cards or games, or we sang. My girlfriends asked me to sing, and because I had a fine voice and I liked to sing too, they didn't really have to talk me into it.

Once, I noticed that Miki didn't take his eyes off me. I didn't know what to think about it, because I wasn't in love with him, we were just good buddies. I had reconciled myself long ago to the thought that I would never get married, because neither poor nor rich would have wanted someone as poor as I was.

Then in November 1927 on Erzsebet day Miki came up and brought me a gold bracelet. [In Hungary it is a custom that everyone has a name day on a certain day of the year, and that is usually celebrated just like birthdays.

At some places the name day is considered even more important than someone's birthday.] That's how it became clear that he had serious intentions with me. We talked very much, and he had always said, that if he married, he would want his wife to love him. I had remorse because of this, because I thought that I wasn't in love with him.

I liked him very much as a man, but I had never thought about getting married to him. I felt obliged to tell him that, and he answered that I would fall in love with him later. In any case, in my situation I had to be happy that someone wanted to marry me and I could get away from home. This wasn't a small matter to me.

So, in August 1928 we got married: I was 19 years old, my husband eight years older. Our wedding was in the synagogue on Rumbach Street. We moved out of our parents' immediately. It was very difficult to get an apartment. We had to pay some money to the previous tenant, and we got a one-bedroom apartment with a kitchen, which had no toilet and water, everything was outside. We rented the apartment in Kispest, because my husband had got a job there.

Before we got married, Miki used to go and sell things at fairs. After we got married, he didn't want to do that anymore. We went to Kispest, because his younger brother lived there and held market, and said that one could live of it.

My husband had a textile shop, too, but that was only open when there was no market. This worked well for him, but as a matter of fact we started doing better when I also opened a shop, although I didn't have the slightest intention of doing so originally. Where we lived, besides the owner, another family lived there too.

The wife was a teacher, and she opened a stationery shop, because she had quit teaching. She convinced me to open a milliner's since I was a milliner. Hats were very much in vogue at that time. I was afraid that I would go bankrupt, and that I would lose the money.

My husband knew these things better and told me: 'I set aside a certain amount of money for this, and if it is lost, I accept it. Fortune favors the brave.' So we opened a tiny little shop, which we furnished ourselves. We bought a mirror, we made the boxes ourselves, and we furnished it in a very simple way, but it worked from the first moment.

I opened on 30th May 1930. Business prospered, even though it was the end of the season when I opened it.

Meanwhile my son, Ervin Fenyes, was born on 25th July 1929. Of course it wasn't the best time for it, but children come the quickest, and if I hadn't so ignorant... My child was nine months old when I opened the shop. My stepmother didn't help; she never came, not even once, to look after my son.

I had to keep an employee to have someone take care of my child if I wasn't at home. I employed a young one, who I thought would take care of my child and do the housework. Later, when I was already doing better, I employed a German woman, too. I gave up on having a kosher kitchen at this time, when I wasn't running the household anymore, because I wasn't at home.

Sometimes, when I went home accidentally, because that happened too, I noticed that they confused the milk pots with the ones for meat. 'I am spending a lot of money, because kosher costs double, and meanwhile I eat treyf. Then what for?' From then onwards I wasn't kosher.

So my business prospered, and I employed apprentices, too. I worked alone, even my husband helped me out. [The interviewee means that she didn't have associates in the business, but was the only person in charge.] We could make a very nice living. We could even save up some money.

Then we moved and got a bathroom, and pantry, and had running water in the apartment. As our situation changed for the better, of course our expectations grew as well. By then I wanted a comfortable apartment, because I had the possibility for that.

But I advertised in vain, because I couldn't find one close to the shop, from where my husband could go to the market easily, and on a street where carriages could enter. Back then there were dirt roads, and there were streets where horse carriages couldn't go in.

Then I found a house, which wasn't in a very good shape, but it was in a very good place. Of course we needed a little loan for that, too. We could pay it back soon, but I couldn't fix the house that year, because I didn't have that much money.

Then one year later, in 1931 I spoke with a master builder, and they repaired and insulated the whole house, and we enlarged it, because one of the rooms was very tiny. So we ended up with two front rooms of the same size, and we had two other rooms overlooking the courtyard and the kitchen. We built two and a half meters on to the kitchen, and so we got a corner- room, which became my son's room.

This renovation was very difficult, because when we started building, I was ill in bed for two months. [Probably the childhood skeletal tuberculosis flared up again]. The two apprentices ran the shop, because there was nobody else to do it.

Then, when I could finally get up somehow - but I couldn't walk - a taxi took me to the shop and there I lay all day long in a deck-chair and directed the things from there, and I also worked, but I still couldn't walk. It wasn't that easy.

Then this period passed, too. In the meantime my younger sister had also finished school, and because my parents were very poor, they couldn't help at all, she couldn't continue her studies, and became an apprentice in my shop. She learned the trade and she also became a milliner. So when I was ill, she and an apprentice were running the shop.

Two years later, in 1932 I opened a bigger shop, because we had outgrown the small shop. The small shop was in a good spot, but the other one was in the center of Kispest, in the best place. It was beautifully furnished.

There wasn't any other shop in Kispest as modern as mine was, with neon lamp, coconut carpet, fitted furniture, mirrors and drawers with a glass top. There were shop-windows, where the hats were displayed. I opened a beautiful shop, and there was a separate workshop, too. It was a very elegant shop.

Fortunately this one was also prosperous, and even though I had spent a fortune on it, it was worth it. In the meantime I had my son enrolled in school at age six.

  • During World War II

I couldn't complain at all, until 1939 started. We had no financial problems, until 1939 [because of the anti-Jewish laws in Hungary] we had no problems at all.

Even though we had heard enough about Austria [the Anschluss] 5 and Hitlerism, it didn't affect us that closely, but when my husband was drafted into forced labor in 1939, we started feeling it on our own skin. He had to go to forced labor for a couple months in 1940 and in 1941, too. After he left in 1942, he never came back. Our last meeting with my husband is a story in itself:

My husband was in forced labor in a small place called Iklad near Aszod. One day someone came shouting into my shop, saying that the forced laborers from Iklad were being taken out of the country. I left everything there, rushed home and told my mother to pack me up everything that was at hand, because I was hurrying, going to Iklad.

I packed up the warm clothes he had brought home, because he thought he wouldn't need them and I took them to him. With many difficulties I got to Aszod by taxi and streetcar. On the way I saw a train which was going toward Pest, and I was going towards Aszod. I saw that there were many laborers on it; I was desperate that I was late. Aszod was completely empty.

Then I met a soldier, and tried to bribe him to talk. Finally he told me that they were at the railroad station in Jozsefvaros, and that I could find them there.

I was out of my mind and wanted to go back, but there was no train. Finally I found a car, which took me to Godollo, near Aszod. He couldn't take me further, because his car wasn't good. Then I got another car that took me to the railroad station in Jozsefvaros. But there was such a silence there, that I knew that there must have been a mistake, because there was nothing.

I looked for the boss at the station, the boss of the railroad station, and asked him to help me out and explain to me where they were. He told me that he couldn't say anything, because that wasn't his duty, he couldn't say anything.

I kept begging him until he told me that the train was in Rakospalota-Ujpest. He didn't even accept anything in return. He was very kind to me. Then there I was, sitting on the streetcar, because the taxi wouldn't take me anywhere, because it wasn't allowed to go further.

When I arrived I knew immediately that I was at the right place, because there were very many people at the railroad station and a lot of shouting. From the shouting I found out that the train was about two kilometers away on open track.

High above there was a passage, and I went up there, crossed to the other side and set out for the place where the train was. I kept walking and walking, and I thought that I would find a broken spot in the fence where I could creep in. I did find a great big hole, where I could have slipped in, but two soldiers were standing there. I told them, 'God bless you, don't look, turn away, I must go in here.' They let me in and I started looking for my husband.

I stopped at every car and shouted, 'Miklos Fenyes, Miklos Fenyes!' There were people who knew where he was and they showed me the car my husband was in. They told him, 'Come, your wife is here.' But he wasn't willing to come out, and told them not to pull his leg. Finally I shouted to him, 'I'm here!' He was beside himself.

He asked how I had got there, how come I was there. I don't even know myself how I got there. My journey started in the morning and I found my husband at 9 in the evening. This was our last encounter. I never saw him again. He died, even though he had promised to come home. He told me that he would be okay, that I should take care of myself and then everything would be alright.

Of my first husband's eight brothers and sisters, the girls [Szeren, Etus] died in the deportation, but there were twins among them as well [Berta and Laci], and they survived. The boy died of leukemia ten years ago.

The girl went to Israel [then still Palestine under British rule] in 1939 with her two little children and her husband. I loved her daughter very much. She was called Angyal [meaning Angel in Hungarian]. It's interesting that Angyal and her brother visited me two years ago. The boy was five years old when they left.

I was so happy to see him, as I would have been to see my husband. But he died too, suddenly, not long ago.

In the meantime we had to close the two shops, because Jews weren't allowed to have that either. This happened long before we had to wear a yellow star, as I recall. I know that one evening we closed the shop, and in the morning we couldn't open it anymore, so everything was left there, was wasted.

[Among the different orders striking the Jews, they ordered wearing the yellow star on 31st March 1944, and they closed the Jewish shops on 21st April].

Then our house became a yellow-star house 6. I didn't want to move out of my house, so I rather took other families into my house. Everyone got a room; there was a family for example, which had lived together before, so they lived in one room.

My parents (Niece: 'She immediately took them into her house when it became a yellow-star house'), my child and I moved into one room, and handed over all the other rooms. At the beginning my younger sister stayed with us too, but then they had to move, because her husband was a Christian. She was very keen on staying with us, but I convinced her to go, because she could have maybe helped us. So she swapped places with a Jewish family that lived in the house across.

I made an effort so that everyone would have her own kitchen to avoid chaos. One got the laundry room as a kitchen, for the other one I split my kitchen in two, and there was a storage room which became the third family's kitchen. As a matter of fact, we could have gotten along very well, but it didn't happen like that.

I always knew what was going to happen, but there was always a little hope that I was wrong. [In Kispest they packed in around 4000 local Jews in 548 rooms in designated houses, which were in 53 streets of the town. The transfer took place between 15th and 30th May. (Randolph L. Braham: A magyar Holocaust, Budapest, Gondolat/Wilmington, Blackburn International Inc., é. n. /1988/).]

Then everything happened the way I had expected. The deportations started the way I had imagined. When the gendarmes came to Kispest, I knew that we were in trouble. I can't even say that I couldn't have escaped, because the relatives from Pest kept asking me to go with my child and stay with them.

I told them that I couldn't go, that I couldn't leave my parents there, and that I would stay with them. My father loved the garden, he kept planting things, did woodwork and kept rabbits. I was very glad to see my father happy. Then the gendarmes occupied every Jewish house, the courtyard, and the street too.

We couldn't even step out of the house. Then 30th June 1944 arrived when the gendarmes came into our house. They told us that we were going to set off, but first everyone should undress in their room. 'Take off all your clothes,' they shouted, so that we wouldn't hide anything. I didn't have anything on, I only had my wedding ring by then, I thought that perhaps they wouldn't take it. But the gendarme took that off, too.

We packed up everything, so that we would have some clothes and some food. But the gendarmes overturned the backpack, and we could keep only what they allowed. In the entrance door a gendarme took a liking for my child's boots, and made him take them off at once. And my son was left there barefoot. And so they took us to the railroad station in groups, on foot.

There were some people, who had compassion for us, and there were others, who didn't. I think there were more who didn't, because somehow it was very easy to turn people against us. But even those who would have wanted to help couldn't do it, because they didn't let anyone close to us.

So we went to the railroad station, we were put on the train and set off for the brick factory in Monor. There were countless people there already, a couple thousand. [Monor was a so-called entraining center; they concentrated here the Jewish inhabitants from the towns to the south and east of the administrative borders of Budapest.

From the Monor brick factory they deported around 7500 people to Auschwitz between the 6th and 8th July 1944]. Pregnant women, the ill and women with children were put under the roof where the bricks were kept. We were sitting on bare ground in the mud, and were happy that there was enough room for all of us to sit on the ground.

We even slept there and waited for a miracle to happen. There were serious bombings while we were at the brick factory, and I wished so much that a bomb would hit and that we would all die. So we hadn't even left Hungary and the horrors had already begun.

There was no water supply on the territory of the brick factory, so a horse carriage went for water to a farmhouse in Monor every day. My sister went to this farmhouse every day and brought food and what she could, and after I found out that she was there every day, I went somehow with the carriage every day and we met there.

We were at the brick factory for eight days altogether, and on the sixth day one of my girlfriends, who was also there with her nine-year-old daughter and her parents told me that we should escape together when the horse carriage set off.

We would have hidden in the toilet before, and when everything calmed down we would have come out and walked away. I answered that I wouldn't leave my parents, because nobody would take care of them.

At that time I thought that I might have a possibility to look after them. The strange thing was that her parents were very wealthy and raised her as a princess. Still, for her what was important was to escape with someone. I think she is comfortably off up to this day.

On the seventh day my parents were released because their daughter was the wife of a Christian man. And I stayed there with my son, whereas I could have escaped if I had gone with my girlfriend on the previous day, but my conscience didn't allow me to do it.

My poor father begged them, he almost cried, so that they would release me too, but they told him not to talk much because otherwise they would keep him there, too. I implored him not to say anything, just go, because then I would have less trouble.

They released them, and as I found out later, they were taken again two weeks later. They were taken to the internment camp in Sarvar, and they were sent to Auschwitz from there; both of them died there. [The largest internment camp of the country was in Sarvar, from where they deported 1500 Jews to Auschwitz.]

So I stayed there with my child, and we were taken in a transport the next day. My sister accompanied us to the railroad station, because we went on foot. The ones who couldn't walk were put on a carriage, and I gave my pack with the food and clothes my sister had brought to an acquaintance who was put on the carriage, so that I wouldn't have to carry it.

Of course we were taken to an entirely different place than those. I never met them again, so I didn't have food, clothes, anything on earth. It was very hot, because this happened in July. They deported us in cattle cars, and there was an incredible crowd. We traveled for three days, day and night, in awful conditions. We could hardly sit.

My child was about 192 centimeters tall, and the poor thing had to be folded as a folding ruler. He always wanted to look out the lattice window. I told him, 'My son, sit down, because that way you take up less room.' We didn't have any water or food, we didn't have anything.

There were some, who had everything, but practically they didn't eat either, or if they did, I didn't see it. They had big pack and thought that it would last them. Nobody knew what was going to happen next. It was awfully hot, and someone had pity on me and gave me a sleeping gown, and I was in that sleeping gown throughout. My legs were bad, and I wore elastic stockings, bandage.

After three days, on 12th July we arrived in Birkenau. We were set down; everyone took his belongings, and tried to protect themselves against the heat. The first thing they did was separate me from my child, they told everyone in which group to stand. There was such confusion in my head I couldn't even comprehend it.

I was standing there with my emotions numbed. Then my son turned up, hugged and kissed me and told me in tears, 'Mom, you'll see, we'll meet again, you'll see, we'll meet again!' He could think more clearly than I could. I was just trembling, I feared that they would catch him and strike him dead in front of me, because he had left his row. I just kept telling him, 'Go back my son, go back. So that nothing will happen.' And poor him tried to comfort me. This was a horror. I never saw my 15-year-old son again.

My son, who had been playing the violin for nine years, and was going to the conservatory, and whose teachers had great hopes for him! He wanted to be an artist, a violinist. Nothing has become of him. (Niece: 'According to the family legends the young Ervin was so talented, that a master who had serious Nazi bonds took on his teaching, and allegedly there was a picture of Hitler on the wall of the practice room. But there are just as many family memories saying that Ervin hated practicing, and that he was really interested in machines, in technical matters.')

So they set us down, lined us up and then set us off. The Lager [German for camp] was situated on a huge area, in fact it was a huge settlement made up of many Lagers. There was a separate Lager for men, for women and for families. Along the road on the right there were wire fences, and huge fires were burning in several spots. I didn't know what it could be. In fact nobody knew anything. Later it turned out that the huge fires were there because they had burned down the Czech family Lager the night before we arrived.

The crematorium was already filled up, and they burned bodies wherever they could. [In the summer of 1944 the crematoriums in Auschwitz couldn't bear the loading and SS regimental sergeant major Otto Moll made them dig big burning pits: nine huge (40-50 meters long, 8 meters wide and 2 meters deep) trenches altogether, where they lay three rows of bodies on top of each other, poured kerosene on them and set them on fire.]

We arrived and they directed us into a huge room, it was bigger than a riding arena. The commanders were standing there and we had to take our clothes off immediately. At one place we had a close crop, then they sprayed us with all kinds of powders from the front, from the rear, under our armpits, everywhere. Then they took us to the baths where there were showers. After they drove us out from there, they threw some clothes to everyone, not caring about sizes at all.

This doesn't mean pants, bras, underwear, stockings, and shoes. Just an article of clothing. In the meantime they didn't say a word; they treated us worse than animals. And this was only the beginning. I put on the rag; fortunately it went round me twice.

There were some unfortunates, who couldn't even put it on. Since they kept an eye on us all the time, people couldn't even exchange these rags among one another. Those who didn't fit into the clothes they had been given waited there naked. Then we set off again somewhere.

The Lager was surrounded by a great number of wires. I had no idea what the wires were. Somehow I came across the women I had traveled with. Some who could speak with the Germans were well informed and were made leaders. Unfortunately I couldn't speak German. The men went into the Czech family Lager where we had seen the fires burning.

In the Lager there were barracks, which were probably transformed from stables. We could see the rings where the animals had been tied. We were the last but one transport, and they had no place to quarter us. The Lager was so full that we stood about for a night, so we slowly learned to sleep on foot leaning against each other.

About two days later, when they gave us food, I couldn't eat, even though I was hungry. There was everything in the food, from pieces of wood onwards. I noticed that those who had been there for a longer time were able to bear things much better, because they had got used to them.

In the meantime they took away transports all the time, so places were cleared. That is how I got a plank bed, but this was a plank bed with rough boards and with gaps in between, then another board, then a gap. My shoe was my pillow, so that my head would rest a little higher. It was terrible, because we couldn't leave the plank bed either during the day or at night: we had to eat there, and there were three times more people there than it could hold. Half of the day we were standing on Zellappell [German for roll- call].

That meant that at dawn they brought us out of the barracks to the Lagerplatz [German for assembly point] and lined us up in rows of five, leaving a path between us. We had to stand there, until they changed their minds and drove us back into the barracks.

We were allowed to go to the toilet and to wash up in a group. If something happened in the meantime, they punished the person in question, because she dared to relieve herself at a different time than they allowed it.

Our life was always a close shave. I had a very interesting experience. We were standing on Zellappell, and a woman came up to me, I didn't know her, and told me to give her my hand. 'What do you want to do with it?' I asked. 'You will have a very long life,' she said to me. It was so ridiculous to hear such a thing there, because life was worth nothing there, and I told her, 'You fool, how can you say such a stupid thing? Tell me something wiser!' Then she said, 'I can't tell you anything else, but what I see.' And I was raging at the thought that someone could be that stupid.

This was all an awful situation for me. I knew full well that I had to work, do something, anything, because I couldn't stand loafing. I would have rather walked than stood about. There were transports every day, and I had to step forward all the time. Once I managed to get into the group in which they controlled everyone.

To my bad luck Dr. Mengele was the one making the selection. I went there in front of him, naked of course. I couldn't understand what he was saying. I found out only later, that they were debating whether they should send me to the gas or leave me alive for a while, because I had a physical defect, since they could see the traces of my childhood surgery.

So I was standing about there until our leader, a Polish woman pulled me away - these were all leaders, the Polish, the Slovak, because they had arrived at the Lager earlier. So then I managed to escape. I was back in the Lager again, and there was some other transport, and I stepped forward again. I had to take my clothes off again, but this time I put my clothes on my arm, so they covered my leg, and the traces of the operation couldn't be seen. So I was taken in the transport.

First they took us to the baths. We took a shower there, they gave us normal clothes, panties, but they were rather like the old fashioned flannel knickers, which had a string that had to be tied on the waist. Then we stood there and waited.

Then it turned out that there were no more transports that day, and they turned us away, but they didn't take us back anymore, but took us to a different Lager. In that Lager the conditions were entirely different, because there were no barracks, but rooms with jointed floor. There were no plank beds, we could lie only on the floor. There were no blankets, pillows, and there wasn't anything either underneath or on top of us. There wasn't as awful a strictness as in the other Lager.

We were there, I don't know for how many days. Then they grouped us again and set us off. We went to the baths again. When we got there we had to take our clothes off again and they gave us other clothes, and we could only enter the Lager after taking a shower and after we got clean clothes again. They lined us up, and they gave us real food: margarine, bread and cold cuts. I pulled the string of my panties together and I put my food in there.

So I didn't put the panties on, but used them as a string bag. They put us on trains; we were quite comfortable there. We could lie and sit. They put a bucket of coffee in the car, but it was gone within moments. They set us off on 20th August [1944], and we traveled for three days, day and night, until we arrived at a labor camp in Lubberstedt near Brema. [Lubberstedt was one of the subcamps of the Neuengamme concentration camp.]

In this Lager there were wood cabins, and on the plank beds there were blankets, or rather horse blankets. These were bunk beds. Everyone had a plank bed for herself. I had some kind of thin mattress under me, which was filled with straw.

We had to get up at dawn, they whistled, and we had to rush to be all there on time and get lined up. We never knew where we would work. We couldn't know it, because they always started setting off the groups from a different point.

Sometimes they took us to work in the bomb factory, where they produced small bombs. Sometimes they took us into the woods to pick mushrooms, and sometimes we picked stinging-nettle. That wasn't so bad: at the worst my hand became all blistery.

Sometimes they took us to plant potatoes. That was the better scenario, because we planted the potatoes in one row, and took some out of the other. Then we could eat raw potatoes at least. Sometimes they took us to transport things in mine cars.

That was very difficult, because the weather had turned very cold by then, and the rails were frozen to the ground. We had to take them up and take them to the place they ordered. Then there was the turnip cleaner, the potato cleaner and the kitchen workers. It was a good thing for someone to get to work there.

Then a change occurred: another Lagerfuhrer [German for camp director] came. This Lagerfuhrer dismissed two workers from the kitchen and I don't know for what reason, he put me in the kitchen. I didn't like it there, because the kitchen workers were from Maramaros [today Sighetul Marmatei, Romania], and they were all acquainted, friends or relatives. I didn't belong there. I became the last maid, and I had to do the hardest and dirtiest work.

First of all, they couldn't forgive the fact that I was put there and their buddies were dismissed. I don't know what the Lagerfuhrer saw in me, but in the evenings, when he went across the kitchen towards their dining room, he always asked me how I was doing. I was wondering how a man like him could become an SS. He seemed such a good man. They told me later that he was a merchant from Hamburg. You can imagine the kitchen.

There were 700-liter boilers, which I had to clean inside and out. Besides, I had to take the slag out into the slop-pails, clean the furnace chamber completely and fill it with coal every morning. I had to push up 600 kilograms of coal to the kitchen. It was winter and it was slippery, so I went more backwards than I went forward. And in the evening I had to clean that huge kitchen. Surely, I wasn't happy in the kitchen at all.

At that time I became friends with Piri [Piroska Roth]. She came in my friend, Stefi's place. Stefi was taken a couple of days before, as she was said to be pregnant. Every pregnant woman was requested to present herself because she would get double portion.

She wasn't pregnant, because we were on good terms and she was honest with me. She wasn't pregnant, but she still couldn't resist the offer because she was hungry and the double portion came in handy. I implored her in vain not to accept it because I figured she would pay a high price for it.

The pleasure lasted for about two weeks. Then they came and gathered these and took them to the gas chambers. She gave me a pocketknife and told me, 'If I don't come back, it's yours, if I come back, I'll get it back from you'. She didn't come back. I never saw her again.

Piri came in her place. I was on as good terms with Piri as with Stefi. Piri was on the 'Revier' [German for sickroom]. She was let out of the Revier, but her block had been closed, and because Stefi's place was free, she was assigned there.

I was in the barrack when she came in and told me that she had been assigned there. It was very interesting, because she came in, reached under her coat, took a potato out and wanted to give it to me. I told her not to give it to me, because I could not give her anything in return. But she insisted on it, until I accepted the potato from her.

This way I was quite obliged to her. She was quite unfortunate, because her husband had left for America, they had first got married, but she couldn't go after him, because by the time her husband had arranged all the papers, so that his wife could go after him, it wasn't possible to go at all.

So she ended up in Auschwitz with her parents. To cut a long story short, I became very good friends with this companion of mine. One needed someone to talk to, because it was very awful there. By then it was very cold, and sometimes we even slept together on my plank bed, because we could warm up each other that way. She had a blanket and I did too, and that way we had two blankets on top of us, we even covered our heads. There were countless mice; they ran up and down the blanket and everywhere. It was horrible.

When I worked in the kitchen I stole everything I could - sugar and jam, milk powder - and I gave them to Piri. She always came to the rear of the kitchen and I gave her everything I got hold of that day. I pushed a barrow of coal into the barrack because Piri was there, so that she wouldn't be cold.

We had to hide that too, because if they had found it that would have been horror. I was in the kitchen for about a month, because then the Lagerfuhrer left.

I knew full well that if he left, I would be dismissed from there at once, because this was something unnatural. And this was exactly what happened. Then the hide-and-seek started again: which group would I be assigned to? Then everything started again: going to work, the daily Zellappell, seeing where I would go, what kind of work I would get, how much I had to walk and with whom, because it meant a great deal which woman was assigned to the group, which group I got into.

Among these German overseers there were some who repelled everyone. They gave them all a nickname, so this woman's name was Cramp. The woman who hated me so much in the kitchen also took groups to work. Her name was Greti, Grete. To my bad luck after being dismissed from the kitchen I was assigned to her group. So I tried very hard not to give her a reason to pick on me, but she was always trying to do me harm.

By this time we had been there for at least a year. [Though this period might have seemed immensely long to the interviewee, in fact only a few months had passed since their deportation]. They took us to a place where there was a big mountain, rails and a freight car.

So we had to shovel earth from one place to the other until it reached the car, and the last one threw the earth into the car. I didn't pick and choose for a long time, I just stood next to the car and I was the one who shoveled the earth into the car.

It wasn't an easy job, because it was easier to shovel the earth from one place to the other, and when I had to throw it up, and I don't know how many times an hour I had to do it, I got exhausted many times. I tried to stop when Cramp saw me, so that she wouldn't think that I wasn't doing anything when she wasn't looking.

Then I don't know how many times we went day after day. I didn't even try going somewhere else, because as a matter of fact I didn't have anything against her. I did my job properly and she left me alone.

However, walking was quite difficult, because after doing it for I don't know how many days I got very exhausted. I told the liaison to tell the woman to let me rest for half an hour, because I wouldn't be able to walk back. The woman told me that she wouldn't tell her, because she didn't want to watch Cramp beat me to death.

I told her, 'Don't bother about what she is going to do, that's my problem, it's all the same to me if she beats me to death now or on the way.' And I told her, 'If you don't tell her, I ask someone who speaks German and she will tell her.' So she was forced to tell her.

Cramp said that I could lie down. I only asked for half an hour, and when I thought that the half an hour had passed, I sat up and wanted to stand up, but she came and made me a sign that I could stay, and that I would only have to get up when she whistled. And she let me lie under the tree until we set off for the Lager.

This woman told the liaison that she couldn't imagine what Grete's problem was with me, because she handed me over to her telling her to watch out for me, because I was lazy. While this woman said that I was the best worker in the whole team.

Winter came and I started making turbans, because we were cold. We marched to the workplace bare headed in the terrible cold, and it was so cold, that icicles were hanging from our heads. We had no coat or stockings on our feet. My leg was shiny like a mirror, and red like a roast, and swollen.

Food was like drinking water to me. It was substantial only at the beginning, and then it fell off very quickly. The food became worse and worse. At the end I could say that we ate lukewarm water. There wasn't even a gram of salt in it, there wasn't anything at all in it. Turnips were floating in it, three-four pieces, and that was it.

There wasn't any fat or salt in it. It wasn't substantial at all. Our life was terribly uncertain. We had no topics to talk about, we only talked about cooking and eating, and that's how we indulged ourselves. We had no coats all winter, and then in April they gave us coats, and told us that everyone should undo one sleeve and give it to someone else. The coats indicated that we were prisoners. Every coat had to be of a different color.

Then on 10th April [1945] they didn't take us to work, but they grouped us and set us off. We went on foot, then they put us on trains. There was a German soldier in every car guarding us. They didn't give us anything to eat. We traveled in the car, and in the end we stopped in Lubeck.

Everyone was very hungry, we became quite weak, and those who wanted could get off, and some scratched about the garbage heap for some food. We were in Lubeck for a couple days at the railroad station, and then suddenly they started the car. It turned out -because there was always someone who heard what the Germans were talking about - that they set off because their enemy, not ours, was getting closer. If they had left us there, we would have been set free that day, but unfortunately they took us on to flee with them.

The train was on its way, and then the tragedy started, when American dive- bombers in groups of three appeared in the sky and fired at the car. Needless to say, the train stopped on open track and everyone started jumping off the car.

Those who jumped off remained there in a pile, one on top of another, because in the meantime they were shooting with machine guns. I went out all the way to the plateau of the car, where one stands before getting off. I slipped out all the way, so that they couldn't push me off, and I looked around to see how I could jump off, because we were terribly high up. The car was on a high embankment, and under it there was a deep ditch.

There was nothing to be done; I measured slowly and leisurely until I finally jumped down. Some kind of a miracle happened, because I didn't hurt myself at all. I felt maybe for the first and last time in my life as if my mother had taken me in her arms and put me down carefully.

Everyone ran where they could. The Germans of course were shouting that nobody should leave, and that if we stayed there we would be liberated. We let ourselves be led like cattle, and that had always been the problem: that we always gave in. We sat about for a couple of hours, and the Germans rushed and ran to drive us together, so that not even one of us would leave.

They attacked the train in which we were in two waves, but nobody got hurt. When we set off we left the injured there, and they cried 'Don't leave us here! Take us along! Don't let us die here!' But nobody cared about them.

Then we traveled for a while, and sometime at night or in the evening we arrived at a railroad station. They got us off the train and set off with us on foot, and we settled in a forest. We spent the night there. The next morning they took us to the railroad station and put us on trains. When we were all in the car, someone shouted 'don't give in, because they want to blow up the car, it is cease-fire and they are not allowed to shoot!' We jumped all off the cars like automates.

They weren't allowed to shoot, so they started hosing us to drive us back in the car, but we didn't give in. We swam in the water, but didn't go in the car. Suffice it to say this lasted quite a long while until we became settled. The boss of the Lager didn't force us anymore, and led us back to the forest where we had spent the previous night. In the morning, at daybreak we looked around and it turned out that there weren't any Germans around us. The German soldiers and German women who had been watching us had all disappeared.

They didn't care for us at all. After that nobody cared for us. English soldiers came, but they weren't invaders, only passers-through, so they didn't care for us either. I was very desperate; I was walking on the road and didn't see any soldiers, only civilians, because everyone threw away everything that could remind them of the fact that they were once soldiers.

There was an Italian Lager, and we set off to find something. At the garbage heap we found all kinds of rotten potatoes and cabbage leaves and we gathered things like that. One brought this, the other one brought that, one got hold of some instant soup, the other one of frozen fish. It was eight of us who assembled and I told them that I could cook, because I hadn't been able to get hold of anything. So I cooked food in a slop-pail, which had everything in it, from frozen fish to cabbage leaf onwards, and what we could gather at the garbage heap.

We didn't get sick, probably because the food didn't have any fat in it, only vegetables. Then they gathered us again, and took us to a Lager, which looked like a hospital; there were white iron beds with mattresses and duvets. There was even a table in the middle of the room.

Everyone had their own bed, and we could live in normal circumstances. I only know that I still didn't have anything to eat, I couldn't get hold of anything, so someone gave me some mustard, and someone else gave me some frozen fish, but I had nothing else to eat. I put the mustard on the frozen fish and I ate a soup-plate full of frozen fish. I fell very sick.

And later, when they distributed food, I couldn't eat, because I had an upset stomach. The most beautiful was, that it didn't make me sad, and I kept saying that it was good that I had an upset stomach, because that way I could save the food and that I would have enough later.

They distributed canned food in boxes, these were meant as provision for the soldiers for 24 hours: stock cube, chocolate, biscuit, milk powder, sugar and such things. By the time I was feeling better, I wasn't so hungry anymore: I couldn't eat all the food at once, because one usually wants more than she is able to take.

Then they transported us from here too. The English army liberated us, because the English occupied these territories. They transported us with trucks to the shore of the Eastern Sea; I don't recall the name of the place anymore.

They occupied a private territory where there were cottages, weekend houses. They put us up in these weekend houses. These houses were all furnished in a different way; there was a kitchen in all of them, some of them with a hot plate, some with a stove. Some got together and cooked together.

By then my friend Piri wasn't with me anymore. As soon as we were liberated she made contact with the English leaders, because her husband was an American soldier. So after we were set free she went straight to America.

She was very nice, because before leaving she told me to write a letter to whomever I wanted, and that she would send it along. Besides that she brought me shoes and everything she could get hold of, because she had more possibilities, more freedom of movement. We corresponded until her death.

So after Piri left, another companion of mine and I decided that we would get on well. I didn't want communal accommodation, because I'd had enough of the crowd. We occupied the attic of a summer cottage. We could climb up there on a chicken ladder.

One could straighten out only in one spot, at its pointed spot. It had a window, too. This tiny room was very skillfully furnished, because there was everything one needed. The sea was in front of us. If we looked out the window, there were two ships slanting aside, sunk.

One was 'Deutschland,' a German ship, the other one was a Dutch ship, 'Kapakona.' We were told that the two ships had been blown up. People started to escape from the ship, because it wasn't far from the shore. But those who tried to swim were shot. I didn't see this; I only saw the bodies, because they were washed ashore.

All the bloated bodies lay there, they were snow-white, as the salt ate into them. They were five times bigger, than normal, they were so bloated. I didn't even go to the shore, I said, 'I'm getting sick at the sight of this.'

They brought us raw food every day. They distributed meat or fish or vegetables, and everyone could do with it what they liked. We weren't starving anymore, but our bodies were very starved. For example once I was so hungry that I couldn't sleep, so I got up in the middle of the night and cooked a pot of oatmeal. I woke my companion and we sat next to it and ate all of it. Then we went to bed and could sleep, because we had got enough.

I made up all kinds of things out of this raw food. I made stuffed cabbage for example, with stock cube and oatmeal. I made up things like this every day, so I always cooked something different. My friend was from Romania, from Nagyvarad, and she was a skillful woman, an English tailor. We sewed all the time, of course by hand, because I had no machine.

We were wearing rags; while we were in the Lager we had worn the same rag. You can imagine in what a condition that was by the time we were liberated. There were some, who couldn't sew, so they got hold of some material, and in exchange for food we sewed for them. We even got cigarettes.

The woman who was our interpreter in the labor camp was our leader here, too; we worked for her the most. She moved into the nicest summer cottage, and there were a lot of things there. We worked very much; we even made suitcases out of fabric. Everyone tried to get herself something, to get dressed by the time we would set off.

However there were no transports, it didn't even occur to them that they should take us home. We were set free in May, but in July we were still there. They organized a transport for the Czechs, but nobody organized a transport for the Hungarians. The Hungarians were not taken home by anybody; they only organized a Hungarian transport in 1946.

I didn't know that the Czechs were taken to Bohemia [Czechoslovakia] via Budapest. If I had known I would have got home a couple of months earlier. Soon they gathered us, too because they evacuated the area. They put us again on trucks and took us to Neustadt.

It wasn't very good there, because we got very small rooms and there were more of us in a room. But there we had freedom of movement; everyone could go wherever she wanted. With this companion of mine I decided to go to other Lagers to see if we could find anyone we knew or some relatives.

I had no idea if I had anyone from my family left. I believed that my parents had stayed at home. I didn't know what had happened to my child, I didn't know what had happened to my husband. Then an ambulance came to Neustadt, and it turned out that it was going to Bergen-Belsen, and it took us along.

There were many 'Haftlinge' [German for prisoners] gathered at an army post. They also went there from here and there, and almost all of those who had been at the Bergen-Belsen camp initially died. It turned out that the women from Kispest who had gone to Bergen-Belsen all died. [Thousands died even in the last weeks, after the liberation around 30 thousand prisoners died of hunger and illnesses].

Those, who didn't go down with typhoid, were put among the sick ones to die, because at that time there weren't any crematoriums anymore, they didn't burn the bodies, so they killed people any way they could.

As it turned out, all of my acquaintances died there, in Bergen-Belsen. It was thanks to a slap in the face that I didn't leave with that transport. At that time I wanted to stay together with the women from Kispest, but I got a huge slap in the face, because I didn't turn around when the German said, 'Face about!' It was thanks to this slap that I survived, because this way I was taken elsewhere.

Here, in Bergen-Belsen they didn't really take care of us, it was kind of a temporary accommodation. I met two or three people from Kispest who survived, and we discussed that we should set off for home somehow.

Then we met a group, which was Romanian. Their leader was a very smart man, and he agreed that we should join them. We were lucky, because nobody really liked Hungarians. Wherever we went he always told us to keep quiet, so they wouldn't know that we were Hungarians.

  • Post-war

We left in August, I don't know what day, but it took a long time to get home. First we went to Hanover. When we arrived somewhere we always looked for the offices where the Jewish Haftlinge got money. But the money was useless; we didn't get anything for it. Wherever we went there were burnt- out houses everywhere.

We traveled in cattle cars, on top of a train filled with coal; sometimes we even traveled on a bumper. We could wash ourselves at the railroad stations. Sometimes they pushed us off the train. I was lucky not to hurt myself, because my backpack was on my back and I fell on it. Before the train set off again, I climbed back on again.

There were times when I traveled all night on a platform and I could only put one foot on the ground, because there wasn't any more room. We arranged for food before we left. There were five or six of us, women, from Pest.

As long as I had food, I always offered some to everyone else, but when I ran out of mine, nobody thought of giving me some. They ate secretly, so they wouldn't have to share with anyone else. Only my companion and I ate and took care of each other equally.

So, with great difficulties we arrived in Pozsony. It was evening there and we saw Russian soldiers already. As a matter of fact I had already seen the Russian soldiers in the cars. What they did all night! They went through all the cars and took people's baggage.

My backpack was put in the passageway. They trampled on it all night, but nobody thought of picking it up. So my backpack and everything inside it was spared. By daybreak this looting ceased. Then we arrived at Keleti station. There they received us, and gave us each a slice of bread with jam.

They took us on horse carriages - at that time, they used those - to the school on Dozsa Gyorgy Street, which they had equipped for the Haftlinge, and they told me, 'here is a plank bed, it's yours.' I thought that if I had to spend the night there because I didn't have anyone to go to, I would kill myself. 'It can't be true that I must go on like this.' I endured all this in the hope to meet my family.

Two of my mother's sisters lived the closest to Dozsa Gyorgy Street, and I set off to look for them. I found two of my aunts and my uncle and his children. They had been in the ghetto [the Budapest ghetto], 7 but had been liberated in January or February already, and went home. I told them that I wanted to go to my sister's to Kispest, to find her, because I hoped that she was alive and my parents, too.

My aunts didn't know anything about my sister, or about anyone for that matter. My two aunts came with me, and we went to look for my sister. My sister wasn't at home at that time. My aunt told me to go back to Pest with them and sleep at their place. I was about to get on the streetcar to go back with my aunts, when people I knew got off; people with whom I went to Auschwitz together, but they were taken elsewhere.

They were very happy to see me, and told me to sleep at their place. I told my two aunts, that I would rather sleep at my acquaintances', even if I didn't find my sister that day, because the next morning I had to report myself officially here, in Kispest, where I had been taken from.

Then we went together to see if my sister had arrived home in the meantime. Thank God, she had suffered no harm; thanks to her Christian husband, she was not harmed. You can imagine her joy! The truth is that I was very indifferent, I couldn't be happy about anything. I stayed at my sister's and didn't go with the acquaintances anymore.

On the first day there weren't any problems, because my sister told me that she had heard news about my son, and he was alive. It turned out that my parents had been deported, which I didn't know about. In the meantime it turned out that my husband hadn't come back either, so I didn't have him either anymore. But when I found out that my son was alive, I thought, 'Thank God, at least my child is alive, and I can bear the blow.'

Then, in a couple days, husbands of women who had been taken to Bergen-Belsen came to me, and they told me, that they had been with my child. I found out from them that my child was no longer alive. It turned out that he had left with a transport for the ill, but he wasn't ill, he was just very attached to a man from Kispest, whom he knew from home. This was a very wealthy man, he was a merchant here in Kispest and he had a shop.

This man was a deputy, a very cultured, intelligent man, and my child liked to be around him. Everyone needed someone to talk to. Everyone needed someone to belong to. Those who didn't have a child, sister, brother, mother or father or I don't know whom, made friends with acquaintances.

I was the only one from my [immediate] family who came home, nobody else. My brother was killed with his family. They killed his six-year-old son, his wife and him. The fact that my sister survived is a miracle, because many of those who remained at home perished too, because there was bombing and the siege and things like that.

My sister didn't feel the danger she was in. She was just waiting for us to come home. She always hoped that my child would come home. Starting with the jam, which was my child's favorite, she made everything. She was planning with her husband to send him to school.

I got home with nothing but the clothes on me. Strangers lived in my house, and they received me with such hostility, as if I were I don't know what. My sin was that the house was mine. Five families lived in my house, and the occupants of the house were bossing everyone about like the communists. I wasn't even able to put in a word. I couldn't go to stay there.

My sister told me to stay with them, of course. But as a matter of fact I was in an awful state then. I lost my confidence. It is very difficult to remember this, because this is an awful period of my life, I couldn't get over all that had happened; it wasn't possible in a short time.

My only desire was to die, because I thought that I couldn't survive this. My sister could hardly raise my spirit. I was only sorry for my sister, because she was so happy that I had arrived, and she had a lot of plans.

She had opened the shop before I arrived, because she had got a notice that relatives could open the shops which had been closed before, but if nobody opened them from the family they would have been given to someone else.

To make sure that my shop wouldn't be lost, she opened it, but it had been completely robbed. Nobody wanted hats; they started making Russian soldier caps. They went with a truck in front of the shop for the caps. Those who were smart could get hold of many things in this period, but my sister was afraid of everything. Once a Russian soldier brought her a bag of flour, but she didn't accept it.

I just looked at things totally helplessly. I didn't hope for anything. My life became empty. When I entered the shop it was as if it hadn't been mine, as if I were a stranger. I was a stranger in my sister's house; I was a stranger in my shop.

My trade wasn't worth anything anymore, nobody wore hats, they were happy if they had food, and didn't think of wearing a hat. Everyone wore shawls. Rich, poor, everyone wore shawls. At first I tried to fit into my sister's life. I went to the shop, kept my sister's household, went shopping, cooked, cleaned. They were busy all day long. They had their office in Pest, her husband was an architect, and worked all over the place and my sister managed the office.

They had very much work, because of the reconstruction, because the whole country was in ruins. The construction engineers had a lot of work. They had their income too; they didn't feel the need of anything.

I can't complain either, because they were respecting all my desires. I didn't want to give up the shop, because I was hoping to get on somehow. One shop had been given up anyway, the one which had been my husband's. If I had opened that one, I would have been luckier with it, because textile shops were still going well, but the hat shop wasn't.

So I kept the shop until around 1947, I paid the rent. I had no income, and 90 percent of my wealth got lost, because all the things I gave to this and that got lost; I didn't get anything back. The Russians took everything. And even if it wasn't the Russian who took it, people still said it was the Russians [while in reality they had taken it themselves]. My poor father gave many things from the shop to different people, so that he would have something after the war. But we didn't get anything back from those either. All my jewelry got lost, too.

My sister bought a partly ruined condominium. Their plan was to repair it, sell it and buy another one. When they finished repairing a room and the kitchen of their condominium they moved in, and gave me their house in Kispest.

This was a very nice two-bedroom-house, with all modern conveniences, a single house in a garden full of fruit trees. In the meantime I sold my house too, because it was pointless to do anything with it. I couldn't have satisfied the occupiers, I couldn't have given a house to them to win my house back.

So I gave it away for almost free. I sold the shop too, but I was luckier with it, because the shop wasn't mine, I only rented it. I sold the rented property for almost as much as my house, my five-bedroom-house with a 151 square meter plot.

As a matter of fact I took over my sister's house before I got married to my second husband. My second husband, Jozsef Barsony, was a single young man. At this time there were many men and women who wanted to marry, because in the deportation many of them had lost their wife or husband. But I didn't want to marry someone who had had a wife and child.

I didn't want to hear all the time about what his wife or children had been like, or to raise his child as poorly as I was raised, because my mother didn't raise me. I had several suitors, but I chose whom I chose because he had never had a wife or a child, and had no desire for a child.

I wasn't in love at all with my second husband either. He loved me in his own way, married me, but he still lived his own life, which didn't bother me at all. My husband liked to entertain. I was rather inclined to recall my memories, and it was very good that he was able to raise my spirit.

I always went along with him, because he didn't go anywhere without me. He was known everywhere. At the Moulin Rouge the crowd was standing outside, they couldn't get in, but if he saw us, the doorman waved at us. I had to watch every show, whether I liked it or not.

My second husband was also Jewish, but he had converted, because he thought that it would help him avoid deportation. But he was deported just as if he hadn't converted. He lost his mother, because they were taken to the ghetto. His mother survived the ghetto, but when they went back to their own house, there were no windows, she got a cold, and then she got pneumonia and died.

By the time her son came home she had already died. He had an older brother, born in 1901. When we got married he told me to convert. I told him, 'I went through with the whole deportation, I lost all my family and came home alone.

Do you seriously think that I will convert now? I haven't the slightest intention of doing so.' We only had a civil marriage, and not a church ceremony. They asked us if we wanted a 'reversale' [Reversale -the marrying parties agree on which parent's religion their children to be born would follow.] We didn't. I didn't have the slightest intention of giving birth to a child, even though I was still young, but I just didn't want to. And besides I couldn't imagine my husband raising a child.

My husband didn't want to live in Kispest, so we only lived there for a year. It was very difficult to advertise and exchange the house somehow. The one who swapped with me was luckier with the swap, because I got for my house only a one and a half-bedroom-apartment in the 7th district, and we had to spend a lot of money to make it habitable.

I didn't want to move because so many things tied me to that neighborhood... Then I thought that maybe it would be better for me, because I could get rid of my memories, if I didn't stay in Kispest. But I know now that one can't get rid of herself, but carries her memories along. I only know that there isn't any moment of the day when I don't remember my family members, all those whom I had and who left me, especially my child, who would be 70 years old now, if he were alive, but his short life only lasted for 15 years.

When I met my husband he had been a taxi owner. At that time the taxi license could be inherited from the parents, and his father had three children and three licenses. Every child got a license. My husband rented his older brother's license and his older sister's license, so he had three cars running.

I had no reason to complain because I wasn't lacking anything materially. But soon after, he became a class enemy because of his taxis, because he didn't hand in his cars to the co-operative, and they took his license earlier, and he could hardly find a job as a taxi driver.

In 1956 8 we didn't take part in anything, but his boss dismissed my husband, he would have dismissed him even earlier, because my husband always criticized the boss. The boss took a couple of men, who had really done something, and said, 'If you speak against Barsony, if you say this and write that, than you can keep your job'. So after the revolution they took his license. At first he couldn't get a proper job, only one as a car washer.

This was very difficult, because there were all kinds of gas, petrol vapor, exhaust gas. He came home and told me, that he wouldn't go there anymore. I told him, 'If you don't go to work anymore, then your benefactors will say that you don't want to work for this regime. You must work, whether you like it or not. But it isn't your duty to work where you feel the worse. Work where you can get fresh air and that's it.' So he went to work somehow, and suffered no harm.

Then a more permissive period came, and one could get his license back, and he became a truck driver, a trucker. He liked to work, he was only sorry about not going to work as a truck driver earlier. He would have made a lot more money. The point is that he was a skillful man. He quickly found his feet everywhere. I really wouldn't have needed to work, because he earned as much as we needed.

1956 was rather exciting for me because my Icuka [Icuka is the daughter of Erzsebet Barsony's sister, Margit Toth.] was born then. I really wanted her, because I didn't want a child. My sister divorced her husband, and had a boyfriend who didn't want the child; he already had a child, and wasn't a good father to him either.

They could have had three children before, but she had aborted all three. I convinced her to give birth to this one. And besides my sister was so much in love with that man. The relationship lasted for five years, but I knew it wouldn't last. And 1956 came, which nobody had counted on and the man emigrated.

He broke up with her and emigrated the day the baby was born. I wanted the child, because my sister would have been capable of killing herself because of this man, and I couldn't be around her all the time.

After that she didn't want anyone anymore. This was such a big love for her that nobody could replace him. She was 37 when her daughter was born, and lived her life without ever having a man again. Her former husband wanted to marry her again, and he would have taken her with her daughter. She didn't go back to him. Then she raised the girl with my help. It felt just like the girl was mine.

I was at home until 1953. My husband didn't want me to work, but I told him that I wanted to have my own pension later. It didn't matter to me at all what I was doing, or how much I was paid. I went to a co-operative, which was very close to our house. I worked there for ten years. We made toys, plastic toys and carpets, and we cut painter rollers as well. I went to work even after I retired [in 1963], because I had a possibility then to run a knitwear works, the Reitter knitwear works.

The owners were Jewish too, but the kind that had stopped observing religion. They told me that I didn't have to do anything but sell the existing clothes. The shop was a co- tenancy, there was a tailor, a man who made ladies' wear, blouses, and in the meantime he sold their knitwear.

They shared the shop-window, and they shared the shop. The twist sweaters came in fashion at that time. [Twist sweater: a slipover, long sleeved, V-neck, woolen sweater, which was considered almost a uniform among the youth (Kozák Gyula: Lábjegyzetek a hatvanas évek Magyarországa monográfiához /manuscript/)].

I was a businesswoman, and I knew that something had to be done, that one had to grasp whatever came about. I thought that I shouldn't sit there idly and wait for the customers, when nobody wanted what we had. I bought the thread, had it knitted, assembled and then I sold it, and this went on unceasingly.

Meanwhile they bought other things, too. The shop prospered. I was there until the age of 60. I could have been there longer, but I couldn't stand that couple. They kept making a fool of the employees and they never paid them on time. Then I noticed that they were mistrustful, and I wouldn't put up with that. They begged me in vain to go back, but I didn't.

After the war, even though my husband was converted, we observed Jewish traditions. We paid the Jewish community tax, went to the synagogue, and we had our seat in the synagogue. We didn't keep this in secret during 1956 either. When my husband died, we buried him according to the Jewish tradition in the Jewish cemetery in Rakoskeresztur.

I have never been a party member. When I came home from the deportation my sister told me that all who had come home from the deportation joined the Socialist Party [that is, the Hungarian Communist Party]. I told her, that they could join it, but I wouldn't join anything.

My husband was thinking about emigrating to Israel, but I didn't want to. I told him that I had built a home already. I told him to go, and if he succeeded I would go after him. But he knew full well, that I wouldn't go.

So we never went to Israel, even though we had relatives there, my first husband's youngest sister, who had emigrated already in 1939 with her two children and her husband. We kept in touch of course. We also talked about emigrating to South America, though I didn't really want to. It was already after the war. We had everything set, but the papers our relative sent us from Brazil were embezzled.

My only journey abroad was in 1967 when I went to visit my friend Piri [in the USA]. She was waiting for me at the airport, we met and all the staff flocked around us, the personnel of the airplane, a lot of people, and they hugged and kissed us.

What happened was that while Piri was waiting at the airport, she told a couple of employees the way we had met, and they found the story so touching, that when I arrived they welcomed us, standing around us.

At that time Piri's entire family was alive, and they were all in Pennsylvania. We were invited elsewhere every day... I visited her once more before her death, in 1995, she was very happy, and I was too. This was our last encounter.

After 1989 nothing changed. They still idolize money, and there are still poor and rich people. However, there is no middle class anymore. I don't complain, because I live on my pension, I get a pension from Germany, and I also get life-annuity from the Hungarian State. I am a saver; I don't even spend my pension.

I came to live here because of my sister's daughter, because I lived in the 7th district and I had a much bigger apartment. But this suits me; I don't need a bigger one. What would I want it for being by myself?

  • Glossary:

1 Anti-Jewish laws in Hungary: Following similar legislation in Nazi Germany, Hungary enacted three Jewish laws in 1938, 1939 and 1941. The first law restricted the number of Jews in industrial and commercial enterprises, banks and in certain occupations, such as legal, medical and engineering professions, and journalism to 20% of the total number.

This law defined Jews on the basis of their religion, so those who converted before the short-lived Hungarian Soviet Republic in 1919, as well as those who fought in World War I, and their widows and orphans were exempted from the law.

The second Jewish law introduced further restrictions, limiting the number of Jews in the above fields to 6 percent, prohibiting the employment of Jews completely in certain professions such as high school and university teaching, civil and municipal services, etc.

It also forbade Jews to buy or sell land and so forth. This law already defined Jews on more racial grounds in that it regarded baptized children that had at least one non-converted Jewish parent as Jewish. The third Jewish law prohibited intermarriage between Jews and non-Jews, and defined anyone who had at least one Jewish grandparent as Jewish.

2 Russian Revolution of 1917: Revolution, in which the tsarist regime was overthrown in the Russian Empire and, under Lenin, was replaced by the Bolshevik rule. The two phases of the Revolution were:

February Revolution, which came about due to food and fuel shortages during World War I, and during which the tsar abdicated and a provisional government took over. The second phase took place in the form of a coup led by Lenin in October/November (October Revolution) and saw the seizure of power by the Bolsheviks.

3 Hungarian Soviet Republic: The first, short-lived, proletarian dictatorship in Hungary. On 21st March 1919 the Workers' Council of Budapest took over power from the bourgeois democratic government and declared the Hungarian Soviet Republic.

The temporary constitution declared that the Republic was the state of the workers and peasants and it aimed at putting an end to their exploitation and establishing a socialist economic and social system.

The communist government nationalized industrial and commercial enterprises, and socialized housing, transport, banking, medicine, cultural institutions, and large landholdings. In an effort to secure its rule the government used arbitrary violence.

Revolutionary tribunals ordered almost 600 executions and the government also resorted to violence to expropriate grain from peasants. This violence and the regime's moves against the clergy also shocked many Hungarians. The Republic was defeated by the entry of Romanian troops, who broke through Hungarian lines on 30th July, occupied and looted Budapest, and ousted Kun's Soviet Republic on 1st August 1919.

4 Civil school: This type of school was created in 1868. Originally it was intended to be a secondary school but in its finally established format, it did not provide a secondary level education with graduation (maturity examination).

Pupils attended it for four years after finishing elementary school. As opposed to classical secondary school, the emphasis in the civil school was on modern and practical subjects (e.g. modern languages, accounting, economics).

While the secondary school prepared children to enter university, the civil school provided its graduates with the type of knowledge which helped them find a job in offices, banks, as clerks, accountants, secretaries, or to manage their own business or shop.

5 Anschluss: The annexation of Austria to Germany. The 1919 peace treaty of St. Germain prohibited the Anschluss, to prevent a resurgence of a strong Germany. On 12th March 1938 Hitler occupied Austria, and with popular approval, annexed it as the province of Ostmark.

In April 1945 Austria regained independence, which was legalized in the Austrian State Treaty in 1955

6 Yellow star houses: The system of exclusively Jewish houses, which acted as a form of hostage taking was introduced by the Hungarian authorities in June 1944 in Budapest.

The authorities believed that if they concentrated all the Jews of Budapest in the ghetto, the Allies would not attack it, but if they placed such houses all over Budapest, especially near important public buildings it was a kind of guarantee. Jews were only allowed to leave such houses for two hours a day to buy supplies and such.

7 Budapest Ghetto: An order issued on 29th November 1944 required all Jews living in Budapest to move into the ghetto by 5th December 1944.

The last ghetto in Europe, it consisted of 162 buildings in the central district of Pest (East side of the Danube). Some 75,000 people were crowded into the area with an average of 14 people per room. The quarter was fenced in with wooden planks and had four entrances, although those living inside were forbidden to come out, while others were forbidden to go in.

There was also a curfew from 4pm. Its head administrator was Miksa Domonkos, a reservist captain, and leader of the Jewish Council (Judenrat).

Dressed in uniform, he was able to prevail against the Nazis and the police many times through his commanding presence. By the time the ghetto was liberated on 18th January 1945, approx. 5,000 people had died there due to cold weather, starvation, bombing and the intrusion of Arrow Cross commandos.

8 1956- It designates the Revolution, which started on 23rd October 1956 against Soviet rule and the communists in Hungary.

It was started by student and worker demonstrations in Budapest and began with the destruction of Stalin's gigantic statue. Moderate communist leader Imre Nagy was appointed as prime minister and he promised reform and democratization.

The Soviet Union withdrew its troops, which had been stationed in Hungary since the end of World War II, but they returned after Nagy's declaration that Hungary would pull out of the Warsaw Pact to pursue a policy of neutrality. The Soviet army put an end to the uprising on 4th November and mass repression and arrests began.

About 200,000 Hungarians fled from the country. Nagy and a number of his supporters were executed. Until 1989 and the fall of the communist regime, the Revolution of 1956 was officially considered a counter-revolution.

Nina Polubelova

Nina Polubelova
Riga
Latvia
Interviewer: Ella Levitskaya
Date of interview: July 2005

I interviewed Nina Polubelova in the premises of the social center Rahamim, which is under the auspice of the Latvian Society of Jewish Culture 1. Nina is a member of Rahamim's choir. I came to the choir premises and had to wait for the rehearsal to end. While I waited, I listened to the choir. It was amazing. Elderly people, even those who could hardly stand, were singing in beautiful, clear, inspired voices. I think that their singing would touch anybody. When the rehearsal was over, Nina with her eyes scintillating came up to me. Later on, after hearing her life story, I understood how important the choir was for her reviving background, being cut away by Soviet life, coming back to friends and like-minded people. Nina is a buxom, bright woman. She looks young for her age. She has nice neatly done fair hair and bright young-looking eyes. She is sociable, affable, and willing to reminisce over the past.

My father's family lived in Riga. There was a Jewish pale of settlement 2 in tsarist Russia, and Jews with the exception of doctors, lawyers and merchants weren't permitted to settle in big Latvian cities. My paternal grandfather, Zalman Levin, dealt with timbering. He evidently got a permit to reside in Riga. Grandmother Hanna was a housewife, which was customary back in that time. Married Jewish women didn't work as they were looked after by their husbands. I don't know where my grandparents were born. All I know is that they were both from Belarus. My father never told me how his parents came to move Latvia. Maybe he didn't know either. My father and his siblings were born in Riga.

My father was the eldest. He was born in 1904 and named Meyer. Samuel was born after my father. The third child was a daughter, who was given the Russian name 3 Rosa, and her Jewish name was Reizl. Then came Vulf. I don't know when my father's siblings were born. The gap between them wasn't big; it was between one and two years.

My grandfather was in charge of timber stock. He purchased logs in wholesale. They were processed at his enterprise and then that timber was sold further. The family did well. I don't know if they had their own house.

My father's family was religious, observing all Jewish traditions. I remember that my grandfather always wore a kippah at home. My grandmother wore high-necked dark dresses: woolen in wintertime and silk in summer. She had dark-colored dresses even in summer. My grandmother didn't wear a wig. Her hair was done in a roll, backcombed over the forehead. Jewish traditions were observed in my father's family; Sabbath and Jewish holidays were marked. On holidays the whole family went to the synagogue. My father and his siblings got Jewish education. Each of them had a bar mitzvah at the age of 13.

My grandfather understood the importance of a good education and assisted his children in that. Of course, everybody in the family knew Yiddish, but Russian was mostly spoken. At that time Latvia belonged to the Russian empire and the national language was Russian. All children were fluent in German. My father went to a Russian lyceum in Riga. Probably the rest of the children also studied there, I can't say for sure. Having graduated from the lyceum my father entered Riga University. I don't know which department. At that time there was an admittance quota for Jews in institutions of higher education, i.e. 5 percent 4 out of the overall number of students. Upon graduation from the university, my father spent some time in Paris, France. I don't know anything about that period of his life.

None of my father's brothers followed in the footsteps of my grandfather. Samuel and Vulf had a joint venture, but they had nothing to do with timbering. I don't know what they did for a living by 1940. Both of them were married. Of course, they married Jews; it couldn't have been otherwise in a traditional Jewish family. I vaguely remember Samuel's first wife. Samuel's son Valentin was born in 1930 in his first marriage. He had a daughter: Noemi, my coeval, in the second marriage. Vulf married a Jewish girl from Riga. I think her Jewish name was Rohl. She was tenderly called Raya in the family. Their only daughter Sarah was born in 1938. Of course, both brothers had traditional Jewish weddings. My father's sister Rosa immigrated to Paris in the late 1920s. I knew that she worked there, but I don't know where exactly. In Paris Rosa married a French Jew. I don't remember his first name, but his last name was Zilberman. Rosa's husband was a boxer and our kin didn't approve of that marriage. Their only son Lucien was born in Paris in 1936.

My mother's family lived in the small Latvian town Krustpils, not far from Riga. My grandparents were born in Latvia. I think my maternal grandfather was born in Krustpils. I don't know anything about my grandmother. My grandfather's name was Leib Levites, I don't know Grandmother's name. She died long before I was born. We didn't even have her picture. My grandfather owned an apothecary in Krustpils. My grandmother took care of the household. They had two daughters: my mother Rosa, born in 1905, was the elder one, and her sister Irina was born in 1910. Of course, my mother and her sister had Jewish names, but I don't know them.

Krustpils was a Jewish town like most small Latvian towns. Most of them were included in the pale of settlement, so sometimes there were more Jews in those towns than Letts, Russians, and Germans. Most of Krustpils Jewish population were craftsmen. All town tailors were Jews. Most tinsmiths, joiners, hairdressers and locksmiths were Jews as well. There were small shops in the houses of the hosts, where one or two people worked. There were large workshops with hired people. The trade was mostly under Jewish control. There were big and small shops, where poor people could buy necessary goods even on credit. There was local Jewish intelligentsia: doctors, pharmacists, teachers, and lawyers. There was a synagogue and a shochet in Krustpils. Apart from cheder there was also a compulsory Jewish school. Jewish families from Krustpils had a traditional Jewish mode of life. Probably in small towns like that, where almost all the people knew each other, nobody would take a risk in being a freethinker. Jewish people married only Jews. Traditional Jewish weddings were mandatory. I know that from my mother. I was in Krustpils only in my childhood. Now the town has changed.

My mother's parents observed Jewish traditions. Sabbath was always observed, and Jewish holidays were marked. On holidays the whole family went to the synagogue. Nobody worked on Saturdays and my grandfather's apothecary was closed. My grandmother observed the kashrut. I don't know where my mother and her sister got Jewish education, but both of them knew how to read in Ivrit and knew the prayers. My mother and her sister went to a Russian lyceum. After the Russian Revolution of 1917 5, Jews in Russia got a permit to live in any cities they chose, and they moved to Riga. My grandmother died in Krustpils and was buried in the Jewish cemetery. My grandfather settled in Riga with his daughters.

My grandfather closed down his business in Riga. My mother began working as a pharmacist in a private apothecary. She was educated, but I don't know the details. My mother had worked for a year in the apothecary and in that time she met my father. Her sister Irina also studied somewhere besides the lyceum. Irina worked as a librarian. She took vocal lessons. Irina left her job after getting married. Her husband was a Jew from Riga: Ieruhim Gurvich. They didn't have children.

I don't know how my parents met. I know for sure that it wasn't a pre- arranged marriage. They must have had a traditional Jewish wedding, as both my paternal and maternal grandparents were religious and wouldn't have agreed to a secular wedding. At that time my grandparents' opinion was of importance.

After the wedding my parents rented an apartment. It was a big four-room apartment in downtown. My mother kept working after getting married. I was born in 1933. I was named Nina. When I was born, my mother didn't want to quit her job and become a housewife. My parents hired a baby-sitter for me. My mother did all the work about the house. The baby-sitter was Lett from a village. She lived with our family. Her bed was in the children's room. When I got older, I had a governess instead of a baby-sitter. She spoke Lettish and German with me, and it was she who taught me those languages. I knew German best of all. I spent my childhood with those two loving women. My parents worked and came back home in the evening, but they always found time to play with me, to read me a book and tuck me in.

Russian was spoken at home. When my parents wanted to conceal something from me, they spoke French. I understood Yiddish since childhood as my paternal grandparents spoke it. My father spoke Yiddish with his brothers in the presence of my grandparents. If they weren't around, Russian was spoken. Apart from Yiddish, my grandparents knew Russian and German.

On Sabbath and Jewish holidays we went to see my grandparents. My father's brothers came there with their families. I was close with my cousins and always was happy to see them. On Sabbath my grandmother lit candles and prayed over them. Then everybody sat at a festive table. I remember my grandfather blessing the bread before starting a meal. On Jewish holidays my father, his brothers and my grandfather went to the synagogue, and my grandmother went there with her daughters-in-law and grandchildren. After the synagogue everybody came to their parents' place. My grandmother was a great cook. I remember how tasty her dishes were. The holidays were marked with all rules being observed. All men wore kippot. My grandfather put his kippah on every day, but my father and his brothers only on Sabbath and holidays.

On Pesach my grandfather led the seder. It was the only night in a year, when children weren't made to go to bed, but stay with the adults at the table. We felt grown-up on that day. My grandfather, clad in white attire, would recline on the pillows. His seat was at the head of the table, which was covered with a white cloth. There were festive dishes and goblets with wine on the table. The largest goblet with wine for Prophet Eliagu was in the center of the table. My elder cousin Valentin asked my grandfather the traditional paschal questions. Grandfather hid the afikoman, read the Haggadah. Everybody sang mirthful paschal songs. In general, things were done the way they were supposed to. On Yom Kippur my parents fasted for 24 hours. I was a kid, so I could get away for not fasting. Other Jewish holidays were marked, but I don't remember them.

There was a large Jewish community in Riga until 1940. Before 1917 Riga Jews mostly lived in Moscowskiy forstadt 6, the district of the poor Jews on the outskirt of the city. Jews made the most population of that part of the city. Jewish houses were in the Old City. Well-off Jews could settle in the downtown area. There were no Jewish streets and houses in downtown. People lived in the parts they could afford. I remember one time, when my mother took me to a Jewish wedding. Her friend who lived in the Jewish house in the Old City was getting married. All the neighbors came to her wedding, and that astounded me. It was the first time in my life when I saw a true Jewish wedding, with a chuppah, rabbi, Jewish dances and musicians playing Jewish music. Maybe my love for Jewish songs stems from that. My parents noticed my musical talent and in 1940 they found a singing tutor for me. He always gave me kisses and I hid under the grand piano from him. My music classes lasted less than a year, since the war was about to be unleashed.

In 1940 Latvia became a part of the Soviet Union [see Annexation of Latvia to the USSR] 7. I remember tanks moving in the downtown Riga. We went out to welcome the Soviet army 8. I remember that everybody was with flowers. The faces of the people were blithe. Tank hatches were open and Soviet soldiers got out of them. People hugged them and gave them flowers. There was no shooting, no resistance. There was normal life. It seemed to me there were barely any changes for our family. Of course, the adults perceived it in a different way. From the scraps of conversation of my parents I remember that the newcomers' behaviors and manners surprised them. At that time that didn't affect me. Before 1940 Russian was spoken at home, so it was easier for us than for those who didn't know Russian.

In 1940 before Latvia was annexed to the USSR, my father's sister Rosa Zilberman, her husband and son Lucien came to see us. Paris had been occupied by the Germans and they fled from Paris miraculously. They moved in with my grandparents, who lived in a large apartment by themselves. I made friends with Lucien.

In May 1941 Grandmother Hanna died. She was buried in the Jewish cemetery in Riga. She had a traditional Jewish funeral. One month after my grandmother's death, the war was unleashed 9. On Sunday 22nd June 1941 my parents were going to take me for a stroll in the park. We had breakfast. While my mother was doing things about the house, my father listened to the news on the radio. Then I found out that the German army had attacked the Soviet Union and battles were held in Belarus.

Soon after the German aviation started bombing Riga. When the signals of the air raid alarm were heard, we were supposed to go down to the air-raid shelter. Most often they bombed at night for some reason. Probably from Aunt Rosa, my parents knew that the Germans didn't spare Jews. They decided to evacuate. Not everybody in the family was willing to leave. Grandfather Zalman flatly refused to leave his house. He said he was too old to drop everything and run away, besides he said that during World War One he had seen Germans and their good attitude towards Jews. My mother's father also didn't want to evacuate. Of course, we could understand the old people, but my father's younger brother, Uncle Vulf, also decided to stay in Riga with his family. The rest of the people weren't against departure.

The four families went into evacuation: us, my father's brother Samuel and his family, Aunt Rosa, her husband and son, Aunt Irina and her husband. Vulf helped us a lot. He made arrangements for the truck driver to get us to the train station. We packed hastily. We decided not to take many things. The only thing I could talk my mother into was to take my new coat. In spring I had a coat made with rabbit fur collar and fur muff. I loved that coat and couldn't leave it. Then I had been wearing it in the postwar years and it was the only piece of warm garment I had. That coat and muff took most of the room in a small suitcase, carried by my father. My mother was pregnant at that time and couldn't carry heavy things. On the way to the train station Letts were firing at us from the buildings. Those people were definitely Letts, as Germans hadn't come into the city yet.

All of us were able to take one train. It was very hard as there were no tickets, people were squeezing in the cars pushing away the feebler ones, but still we got onto a train and took seats. We didn't know where the train was heading. The only thing we knew was that we were going to Russia. There were frequent air raids on our way. When the Germans started bombing, everybody jumped out of the cars trying to hide. Such bombings were at the Doroshino station. We darted into the forest, where huge mosquitoes were about to eat us alive. We reached Pskov [today Russia, about 300km from Riga]. There we were told to leave the train as it was needed for militaries.

Passengers were supposed to get on locomotives. We were guarded by fate. As soon as all the passengers had left the train, it was blown up. There was a locomotive for us to take. We were on the road for a long time and then were told to get off the locomotive at some station and take the barge. Again we were moving in an unknown direction. Finally we happened to be in Almaty [today Kazakhstan, 3500km from Moscow]. All four families got there safely. We and some other evacuees were housed in barracks. I don't remember the details. After a month my mother gave birth to a girl. She was named Anna after Grandmother Hanna. Anna lived only for a month. I don't remember her funeral, as I didn't attend it. I only remember that my father carried a tiny casket under his armpit. It was a little bigger than a shoebox.

My father was drafted into the army in Almaty. His eyesight was poor and the medical board by the military enlistment office disqualified him from military service. My father was drafted into the labor army 10 in Kazakhstan. There he worked as a truck driver by the end of the war. My mother and I remained on our own. We didn't have a place to live and it was problematic for my mother to find a job. There were crowds of evacuees in Almaty: separate families and entire organizations. My mother thought that it would be easier for us to survive in a small town or a hamlet. We stayed in Almaty for a while and headed for the small town Issyk [today Kazakhstan]. Aunt Rosa, her husband and Lucien went with us. Uncle Samuel and his family stayed in Almaty.

Unfortunately, my mother's expectations were unmet. She couldn't find a job as a pharmacist or as a nurse, so she started working in a kolkhoz 11: in the field. Rosa also worked with my mother. They were given 450 grams of bread for work from dawn till sunset. My mother found lodging for us in a basement. Aunt Rosa lived with her family separately. Apart from us there was another Jewish family in the basement. They were evacuated from Kiev [today Ukraine]. We had a hard life. Rosa's husband died a couple of months after our arrival in Issyk. He was a big agile man and it seemed to me he suffered from malnutrition most of all. Of course, Rosa tried to feed their son in the first place. Her husband was getting feebler. I think he died of hunger. It's miraculous that we survived as all of us could have starved to death. The only thing we had to eat was 450 grams of bread and boiled water. One Kazakh lady had pity on us and gave us some dried corn seeds. Local people fed poultry, chicken and geese, with that. Those seeds were hard like stones and we had to boil them all day long.

It was time for me to go to school, but I couldn't go to the first grade, as I didn't have clothes. My mother and I left with one outfit each, which was on us: each of us had one summer dress and one pair of sandals. The only warm clothes we had were my coat with rabbit fur and my mother's woolen jacket. She put it in the suitcase thinking that there might be cool summer nights. The Soviet mass media stated, even before war reiterated, if somebody dared to attack the Soviet Union, the enemy would be defeated on his territory. My mother must have taken those words seriously. At any rate our clothes and shoes were unsuitable. My mother bought us both wooden shoes from the market, and I was wearing those clogs all winter long.

All of us were emaciated. I hardly left the house being shattered by feebleness. The hardest was to stand winter frosts. My mother had to work in order to feed us. Our neighbors, whose living conditions were much better than ours, gave us potato peelings. My mother washed them and made soup, but it was impossible to get by with that. Our neighbors were constantly doing some commerce. They went to the villages and brought potatoes and salt from there. Once they convinced my mother that I should sell their salt at the market. They promised to give us potatoes for that. I had been standing at the market all day long, but I wasn't able to sell anything. The salt wasn't fine, and besides it was dirty. People came over, took a look and left. I didn't know how to praise my goods like other salespeople did, or talk people into buying. Thus, I came home with nothing. That was the sales experience in my life. My mother was worried that I would get sick. Garlic was the only thing she could buy at the market. Every evening she gave me a clove of garlic. Maybe it really helped me, as I didn't get sick during evacuation. Then there appeared an organization in Issyk, which helped the evacuated. They were supposed to give some food, but instead they gave some beet kvass. I remember my mother brought large bottles of that kvass and we drank it. It tasted good.

The local population sympathized with the evacuees. There was no animosity. Issyk was mostly inhabited by Kazakhs, but there were some Russian people as well. They had never seen Jews, but still soon they started using the word 'kike.' I remember when I went out, local boys were running around and crying, 'Kike, running on the rope.' I don't know if they knew what that word meant, but they teased me constantly.

I don't remember why we had to move out from the basement where we had been living since our arrival in Issyk. It was hard to find lodging. My mother and I roamed from one house to another. There were times when we had to stay in forsaken stables.

My mother was lucky to find a job as a nurse in a local children's hospital in Issyk. There was a barrack by the hospital, where its employees were living. My mother was given a place there, even shabby linen. I was emaciated and the chief doctor suggested that I should be hospitalized to be nourished better. I remember the time spent in the hospital. It was scary. Children were weary, looking dystrophic, like cadavers. I followed my mother in the wards, where she gave injections. She always told me to go away as there were some people with contagious diseases. I was scared to stay without my mother.

We didn't hear from my father. My mother knew where he was and was worried whether he was alive. My mother corresponded with her sister Irina, who lived in Almaty. We found out from her letters that she had a baby, who died shortly after parturition. Uncle Samuel also passed away. His family lived in Almaty.

In 1944 Rosa and Lucien went to Almaty from Issyk. My mother wasn't willing to go with her, but she didn't want to stay in Issyk either. We covered a distance of over 1500 kilometers and went to Novosibirsk [3000km from Moscow]. We were housed in long barracks, where evacuees lived. It was easier to live in Novosibirsk as compared to Issyk. There were coal mines not far from Novosibirsk and evacuees were given coal for heating. My mother and I were given warm clothes. My coat was too small for me. We weren't suffering from cold neither outside nor inside. My mother found a job at a bakery plant. Apart from food cards 12, plant employees were able to buy bread at the plant. There was a canteen where the employees and their children were given food once a day. It was easier with products in a big city, not like in Issyk. My mother got food cards for both of us: one worker's card and one dependent's card. We didn't receive only bread for the cards, but also cereal, fat and a little bit of sugar. I put on weight for some time and didn't look like a skeleton anymore.

Finally, I went to school in Novosibirsk. I was ten and was supposed to go to the third grade for my age, but I didn't know letters, I didn't know how to read and write. In spite of that the teacher talked my mother into letting me go to the third grade in order to give me a try. I remember my first teacher with gratitude. She paid a lot of attention to me and taught me after classes. At first, I merely listened to the teacher in the classes and memorized things, listened in the class, as I didn't know how to read. I remember, once she called me to go to the blackboard and I got 1 [Editor's note: '1' means 'very poor']. I came home feeling really proud and told my mother about my 'success.' Gradually things were getting better. Either the teacher was very good, or I was capable, in about half a year I caught up with the majority of the class. I went to my mother's plant after classes. She fed me at her canteen. If there was time during lunch break, I sang for the employees of the plant. I had been singing since childhood and enjoyed when people liked my singing and applauded me.

We had lived by spring 1945 in Novosibirsk. Aunt Irina persistently invited us to Almaty and in the end my mother decided to move there. I don't remember now how long it took us to get to Almaty. We had to change trains, and sometimes wait for our train for hours. We moved to Almaty in early May and rented a room in the house of a local family. We knew that Latvia had been liberated from the fascists by Soviet troops. On 9th May 1945 we found out about the end of the war and the unconditional surrender of Germany. Of course, all of us understood that the war was about to end, but still we took the news as unexpected joy. Unacquainted people hugged each other in the streets, congratulating each other. In the evening everybody was out singing, dancing, watching festive fireworks. Everybody rejoiced in regained peace.

Irina started packing for home straight after 9th May. We had stayed in Almaty for about a year. Finally, my mother decided to move. Irina found out that the apartment we used to live in before the war, was occupied by other people. She went to Ispolkom 13 to apply for lodging in another house. We moved to the apartment, where I'm currently living. My mother went to our previous apartment hoping that some of our things were still there, but she came back empty-handed. In evacuation we learned how to get by with minimal things. Upon our return we hoped for a better life. When we returned to Riga, my father came. He had been demobilized from the army. He started working as a driver. My mother worked in a pharmacy. I went to the third grade of a Russian school. It used to be a Lettish school before the war and the teachers spoke poor Russian. Half of the children in my class were from Latvia, and half the newcomers from the USSR. It was of no importance for us. Maybe it would be harder for adults to get along, but the children were more flexible. All of us were pioneers 14, and then Komsomol 15 members. In other words, we were Soviet children. Though, people let me feel that I was a Jew. Teachers treated me well, anti- Semitism was displayed among children, but I never felt it coming from Lettish children. Offensive words were spoken by children who came to Latvia from the USSR.

When we came home, we found out about the fate of our relatives, who hadn't left Riga. All of them perished: both my grandfathers, Uncle Vulf, his wife and three-year old daughter Sarah. We don't know the circumstances of their death, whether they died in the Riga ghetto 16 or during the execution of ghetto prisoners in Rumbula Forest 17. We didn't find out about all the fascist atrocities right away. Only in 1947 the Nazi and politsei were tried. None of them remained alive.

After school Aunt Irina gave me music classes. She had taken lessons with a singing tutor and she taught me everything she knew. I always sang during school holidays. When I studied at school, I found out that there was a people's conservatoire in Riga, where gifted young people were admitted. Unlike in ordinary conservatoire here no diplomas were given, but the classes were taught by the professors from real conservatoires. I found out about the entrance exams. When I saw the members of the board, renowned singers and professors from the conservatoire, I lost my voice from fear. I was asked to sing, but I couldn't produce a sound. I turned back and left. Then Irina scolded me, and I didn't make any more attempts.

The events taking place in the USSR in the late 1940s, early 1950s, didn't affect our family. During the Doctors' Plot 18 my mother was working in the pharmacy, but she wasn't fired, not even nagged. In general, it was almost unnoticeable for us. I remembered the day of Stalin's death: 5th March 1953. I was in the tenth grade. Everybody was crying, when there was an announcement on Stalin's death. I don't know why but I also burst into tears. Maybe I was influenced by the fact that everybody was crying around me: teachers and students. The situation was solemn: there were wreaths everywhere; the school orchestra played a funeral march, there was mourning. I remember that I had to answer a question on the blackboard in my chemistry class before the mourning meeting. The teacher gave me an excellent mark saying that even on such a hard day for the country I did well. I was flattered by her praise. I cried and mourned after lessons.

Everybody was at a loss. We got used to the fact that everything in the Soviet Union was done in Stalin's name. He was a decision-maker and we couldn't picture our lives without him. Life went on. In a while people started coming back from the Gulag 19, those who were deported in 1940 20. Then one of our distant relatives was released from the camp. He came to Riga. I knew nothing about him; I didn't even know that he existed. My parents had a long conversation with him, but I didn't take part in it. I remember that I was curious to see the man who had spent many years in Northern camps. After the Twentieth Party Congress 21 and Khrushchev's 22 speech I learnt a lot, but I wasn't interested in politics that much.

I was fond of chemistry in school. I liked that subject from the first class, and it became more interesting when we started organic chemistry. I got excellent marks in chemistry and before finishing school I firmly knew that I would like to become an organic chemist, but my mother wanted me to become a doctor and insisted that I should enter a medical institute. Maybe during my entrance exams for the first time in my life I felt that I was different from anybody else. I can't say that the examiners tried to lower my grade, but I felt that the attention was focused on me and that I was tested by other criteria, not only knowledge. I entered the dentistry department of the Medical Institute in Riga and found out soon that my mother, who had worked in medicine for a long time and knew a lot of doctors, pleaded with her acquaintance doctors for me in the board. Probably my mother could understand things were unperceivable for me at that time, and that there would be no chance for me to enter. I finished two terms at the Medical Institute and understood that it wasn't my cup of tea. I wasn't willing to work as a doctor all my life. I was lucky to transfer to the second course of the Chemistry Department of Riga Polytechnic Institute. I did well. I had excellent marks during the entire period of studies. I didn't feel anti-Semitism. Both teachers and students treated me fairly. I sang at the first course.

I got married during my studies at the institute. I'll tell you a funny story of how I met my husband. During my studies me and some of my group mates left for training in Leningrad [today Russia]. Of course, after work we took a walk along the city, went to the theaters, museums. We went dancing almost every night. I loved dancing as much as singing. I couldn't live without that. One guy from Riga was my dancing partner. He wasn't from our institute. He left earlier than me and asked me out to the dancing club in Riga. I was shortsighted since childhood and was shy to wear glasses. I went on the date and thought that I saw my guy, white dance was announced, and so I asked that guy for a dance. It turned out that it wasn't the guy who had asked me out for a date. We got acquainted and danced all evening long. Then he saw me off. That guy was my future husband Vladimir Polubelov.

Vladimir was born in Leningrad in 1937. He spent his childhood there. During the war he and his mother were in evacuation and his father was in the lines. After the war they settled in Riga. Vladimir was an only child. He also studied at the Polytechnic Institute, the radio department. Neither my parents nor I cared that Vladimir was Russian. I was practically raised during the Soviet regime and went to a Soviet school with internationalist spirit. After the war my parents took it calmly as well. It was important for them that my husband and I got along. They were right. Vladimir wasn't only a good husband, but he became an excellent father to our daughter and loving son-in-law. After getting married, we lived with our parents. Upon graduation I started working in the laboratory of the chemistry plant in Riga. Vladimir worked as a radio engineer in the military unit. Our daughter Elena was born in 1964.

Upon return to Riga from evacuation my parents didn't stick to Jewish traditions and didn't mark Jewish holidays. Soviet holidays were celebrated such as 1st May, 7th November 23, Victory Day 24, Soviet Army Day 25, New Year. Of course, we marked birthdays of all members of the family. At that time Jewish holidays, Jewish religion, seemed obsolete to me and I thought it would be ridiculous for educated people to follow it.

In 1964 my father died shortly after Elena was born. He was buried in the Jewish cemetery in Riga. There was my grandmother's grave, so my father was buried next to his mother. My father's name was embossed on my grandmother's tombstone. His funeral was secular, not in accordance with the Jewish rites. My mother died twelve years later, i.e. in 1976. There was no space by my grandmother's and father's graves; therefore, my mother was buried in another alley, but in that cemetery. Aunt Irina died in 1957. She was also buried in that cemetery.

In the 1970s, the Soviet regime permitted Jews to immigrate to Israel. I didn't even consider that opportunity. My husband was Russian and it was unlikely for him to immigrate to Israel. There was no sense in leaving. I liked my job. My colleagues treated me loyally. I didn't think our lives to be too bad, so I didn't even consider immigration. I sympathized with those who were immigrating, I even pitied them as they were doomed to live far away from their friends and kin and have a different mode of life. I understood that they would have to get acclimatized and take trouble in finding a place to live and a job. At that time many of my friends left as well as my relatives: my cousin Valentin, Uncle Samuel's son, cousin Lucien. Uncle Samuel's daughter Noemi immigrated to America. I was worried about them. I was happy that they were able to blend in with new life. We keep in touch. They send me nice letters. The most important thing is that they are confident in the future of their children and grandchildren.

My daughter did well at school. I must have plied her with love to chemistry as having finished school Elena decided to enter the chemistry department of the Polytechnic Institute. Though she was more attracted to inorganic chemistry, and it was okay. Upon graduation my daughter found a job in her specialty. Elena got married after graduation. Here she also followed into my footsteps. She didn't marry a Jew, but a Lett. Her husband's name is Morov. They live separately. Their first daughter Yana was born in 1990. When her daughter was born Elena was on maternal leave for a year, and when it was time for her to go to work, it turned out that the firm she worked for, didn't exist any more. It was a hard period when Latvia regained its independence 26. Many enterprises closed down at that time, as they couldn't survive under new conditions. There was huge unemployment that we didn't come across with in Soviet times. Elena couldn't find a job for a long time. When she found a job finally, the company was liquidated after a while and again she remained unemployed. My neighbor was a director of a kindergarten. Once I asked if there was a vacancy for Elena. She hired my daughter. Elena didn't expect to like working with children. Now she is deputy director of the kindergarten. She is happy with her work. Elena's second daughter Dana was born in 2001. Yana goes to a Lettish school. My younger granddaughter goes to a kindergarten.

I retired in 1988 during perestroika 27. Many people admired the early stage of perestroika and were agog to see the changes in life. I took it as another action of the Soviet regime and was skeptical towards it. Even now I can't say what perestroika gave me. I wasn't at the age to rejoice in liberty of words, press, traveling. Of course USSR citizens got an opportunity to go abroad and invite their relatives after perestroika, but I was elderly and sick, so there was no use in going anywhere. Perestroika resulted in runaway unemployment, lower living wage, and empty shelves in the store. Soon there was the breakup of the Soviet Union [1991]. I took it hard. All of us got used to the Soviet Union, and the entire system was ours, our reality. We lost something when it broke up. It was many years ago. Nowadays life is as if the Soviet Union had never existed. Latvia and other former Soviet republics became independent and all of us had to learn how to live with a new reality. I can't say that it was easy for everybody or that the life now is easier.

The current mode of life is for young people who are able to adapt to new life conditions. Even many young people can't find a job, as one of the mandatory requirements is to know Lettish. Many people don't know this language, as it was enough to be fluent in Russian during the Soviet regime. It takes time to learn the language, but it's hard to go by in the period of studies without having any income. In general, common people have a hard living fearing that there would be no certainty in the future. During the Soviets we were guaranteed that we would live comfortably when reaching old age; medicine was free of charge, and now having skimpy pension and wages we have to pay outrageous amounts of money for medicine, and most people don't have it. It's the hardest for the pensioners, as they can't afford even necessary things.

Probably the only thing that perestroika gave me is revival of Jewish life in Latvia. The Latvian Society of Jewish Culture, LSJC, was founded during perestroika. It's an unreligious Jewish community. There is a religious community, which finally became legal during perestroika. The Soviet regime always struggled against religion 28, not only against the Jewish one. Approximately at that time I started coming back to Jewry. We kept friends with one Jewish family, which lived in our house. They invited me for the celebration of the Jewish holidays. At that time my reminiscences from childhood came back. I remembered how Jewish holidays were marked in the house of my paternal grandparents, and the way my grandfather carried out the paschal seder. I wanted it to be in my family as well. I learnt from my neighbor how to cook Jewish dishes. I didn't know what they were called.

I baked hamantashen, strudels, made forshmak, gefilte fish. I don't know why I wanted to learn how to cook those dishes. The first holiday marked in our house was Pesach 1995. That year our neighbors immigrated to Israel, and my husband and I decided to organize a feast at home. My husband approved of my kindled interest in Jewish traditions and history. Of course, there was no one who would be able to make a true seder in our family, but still I made traditional paschal dinner: there was matzah, mandatory dishes like bitter herbs, horseradish, salted water, a goblet for Eliagu, etc. My daughter also celebrated Pesach with us. It was the time when she started taking an interest in our history and traditions. Of course, she knew that I was a Jew, but she didn't pay much attention to that. I explained to her that the Jewish nationality was identified by my mother, thus my daughter is a Jew. Probably it wasn't important for her, but I wanted her to know.

In about that period of time I came to the LSJC. I wanted to learn Yiddish, find out more about Jewry. I also went to the synagogue for the first time. I knew nothing. I didn't understand anything. At that time I felt myself hurt and deprived and I wanted to fill the gap. There's a pretty good library at the LSJC. I tried to find Yiddish and Ivrit textbooks there, but failed. The circle of Yiddish language studies by the LSJC dealt with colloquial language only. I was enrolled there. My spoken Yiddish is pretty good: both listening comprehension and oral speech, but I didn't learn how to read in Yiddish. I don't think my parents knew how to read in Yiddish either. So, I can't read Yiddish, but my pals who know how to read Yiddish retell me the most interesting articles. I often go to the library, read books by Jewish authors in Russian and German. I read a lot about Jewish traditions and history. It's very important and interesting to me. I made many friends in the LSJC and my husband is happy for me.

When the Jewish choir was founded by the LSJC, I joined it. At first, I didn't attend rehearsals regularly, but within the last five years I try not to skip any single rehearsal. Besides, I feel happy when I'm singing. Besides, I have the opportunity to communicate with people. When people retire, they are cooped up most of the time, and it makes them despondent. When I attend rehearsals I feel fully-fledged, which is important for me. I know that people need our choir. We often take tours to different Latvian towns. We have a full house at our concerts, which aren't attended only by Jews, but also by people of other nationalities. We are often thanked after concerts, given flowers and I see tears in the eyes of the audience. It's very important for me to know that even now I can do good to people. Our choir is like a family. We get together to mark birthdays of our members, and celebrate Jewish holidays. The community, the social center Rahamim became our second home where we come with joy or with trouble, where we would be helped in everyday issues and given succor.

Glossary:

1 Latvian Society of Jewish Culture (LSJC)

formed in autumn 1988 under the leadership of Esphi? Rapin, an activist of culture of Latvia, who was director of the Latvian Philharmonic at the time. Currently LSJC is a non- religious Jewish community of Latvia. The Society's objectives are as follows: restoration of the Jewish national self-consciousness, culture and traditions. Similar societies have been formed in other Latvian towns. Originally, the objective of the LSJC was establishment of the Jewish school, which was opened in 1989. Now there is a Kinnor, the children's choral ensemble, a theatrical studio, a children's art studio and Hebrew courses in the society. There is a library with a large collection of books. The youth organization Itush Zion, sports organization Maccabi, charity association Rahamim, the Memorial Group, installing monuments in locations of the Jewish Holocaust tragedy, and the association of war veterans and former ghetto prisoners work under the auspice of the Society. There is a museum and document center 'Jews in Latvia' in the LSJC. The VEK (Herald of Jewish Culture) magazine (the only Jewish magazine in the former Soviet Union), about 50,000 issues, is published in the LSJC.

2 Jewish Pale of Settlement

Certain provinces in the Russian Empire were designated for permanent Jewish residence and the Jewish population was only allowed to live in these areas. The Pale was first established by a decree by Catherine II in 1791. The regulation was in force until the Russian Revolution of 1917, although the limits of the Pale were modified several times. The Pale stretched from the Baltic Sea to the Black Sea, and 94% of the total Jewish population of Russia, almost 5 million people, lived there. The overwhelming majority of the Jews lived in the towns and shtetls of the Pale. Certain privileged groups of Jews, such as certain merchants, university graduates and craftsmen working in certain branches, were granted to live outside the borders of the Pale of Settlement permanently.

3 Common name

Russified or Russian first names used by Jews in everyday life and adopted in official documents. The Russification of first names was one of the manifestations of the assimilation of Russian Jews at the turn of the 19th and 20th century. In some cases only the spelling and pronunciation of Jewish names was russified (e.g. Isaac instead of Yitskhak; Boris instead of Borukh), while in other cases traditional Jewish names were replaced by similarly sounding Russian names (e.g. Eugenia instead of Ghita; Yury instead of Yuda). When state anti-Semitism intensified in the USSR at the end of the 1940s, most Jewish parents stopped giving their children traditional Jewish names to avoid discrimination.

4 Five percent quota

In tsarist Russia the number of Jews in higher educational institutions could not exceed 5% of the total number of students.

5 Russian Revolution of 1917

Revolution in which the tsarist regime was overthrown in the Russian Empire and, under Lenin, was replaced by the Bolshevik rule. The two phases of the Revolution were: February Revolution, which came about due to food and fuel shortages during World War I, and during which the tsar abdicated and a provisional government took over. The second phase took place in the form of a coup led by Lenin in October/November (October Revolution) and saw the seizure of power by the Bolsheviks.

6 Moscowskiy forstadt

during the rule of Elizabeth I in the 1720s Jews were forbidden to reside in Latvia, and they were chased away from the country. During the rule of Elizabeth II this decree was cancelled in part. Visitors were to stay in a Jewish inn in the vicinity of the town. Those Jews, who obtained residential permits were allowed to live in Moscowskiy forstadt in the vicinity of Riga. In 1771 the first Jewish house of prayers was opened there. In 1813 residents of the Slock town (present-day Sloka, vicinity of Riga Yurmala town) were allowed to reside in the Moscowskiy forstadt. Jews actively populated this neighborhood in the suburb. Even when Latvia became independent in 1918, and the Pale of Settlement was eliminated, poor Jewish people moved to Moscowskiy forstadt, where prices were lower, and there were synagogues and prayer houses, Jewish schools and cheder schools, and Jewish life was easier. Moscowskiy forstadt was a Jewish neighborhood before June 1941. During the German occupation a Jewish ghetto was established in Moscowskiy forstadt.

7 Annexation of Latvia to the USSR

upon execution of the Molotov- Ribbentrop Pact on 2 October 1939 the USSR demanded that Latvia transferred military harbors, air fields and other military infrastructure to the needs of the Red Army within 3 days. Also, the Soviet leadership assured Latvia that it was no interference with the country's internal affairs but that they were just taking preventive measures to ensure that thi9s territory was not used against the USSR. On 5 October the Treaty on Mutual Assistance was signed between Latvia and the USSR. The military contingent exceeding by size and power the Latvian National army entered Latvia. On 16 June 1940 the USSR declared another ultimatum to Latvia. The main requirement was retirement of the 'government hostile to the Soviet Union' and formation of the new government under supervision of representatives of the USSR. President K. Ulmanis accepted all items of the ultimatum and addressed the nation to stay calm. On 17 June 1940 new divisions of the Soviet military entered Latvia with no resistance. On 21 June 1940 the new government, friendly to the USSR, was formed mostly from the communists released from prisons. On 14-15 July elections took place in Latvia. Its results were largely manipulated by the new country's leadership and communists won. On 5 August 1940 the newly elected Supreme Soviet addressed the Supreme Soviet of the USSR requesting to annex Latvia to the USSR, which was done.

8 Soviet Army

The armed forces of the Soviet Union, originally called Red Army and renamed Soviet Army in February 1946. After the Bolsheviks came to power, in November 1917, they commenced to organize the squads of worker's army, called Red Guards, where workers and peasants were recruited on voluntary bases. The commanders were either selected from among the former tsarist officers and soldiers or appointed directly by the Military and Revolutionary Committee of the Communist Party. In early 1918 the Bolshevik government issued a decree on the establishment of the Workers' and Peasants' Red Army and mandatory drafting was introduced for men between 18 and 40. In 1918 the total number of draftees was 100 thousand officers and 1.2 million soldiers. Military schools and academies training the officers were restored. In 1925 the law on compulsory military service was adopted and annual drafting was established. The term of service was established as follows: for the Red Guards- 2 years, for junior officers of aviation and fleet- 3 years, for medium and senior officers- 25 years. People of exploiter classes (former noblemen, merchants, officers of the tsarist army, priest, factory owner, etc. and their children) as well as kulaks (rich peasants) and cossacks were not drafted in the army. The law as of 1939 cancelled restriction on drafting of men belonging to certain classes, students were not drafted but went through military training in their educational institutions. On the 22nd June 1941 Great Patriotic War was unleashed and the drafting in the army became exclusively compulsory. First, in June-July 1941 general and complete mobilization of men was carried out as well as partial mobilization of women. Then annual drafting of men, who turned 18, was commenced. When WWII was over, the Red Army amounted to over 11 million people and the demobilization process commenced. By the beginning of 1948 the Soviet Army had been downsized to 2 million 874 thousand people. The youth of drafting age were sent to the restoration works in mines, heavy industrial enterprises, and construction sites. In 1949 a new law on general military duty was adopted, according to which service term in ground troops and aviation was 3 years and in navy- 4 years. Young people with secondary education, both civilian and military, with the age range of 17-23 were admitted in military schools for officers. In 1968 the term of the army service was contracted to 2 years in ground troops and in the navy to 3 years. That system of army recruitment has remained without considerable changes until the breakup of the Soviet Army (1991-93).

9 Great Patriotic War

On 22nd June 1941 at 5 o'clock in the morning Nazi Germany attacked the Soviet Union without declaring war. This was the beginning of the so-called Great Patriotic War. The German blitzkrieg, known as Operation Barbarossa, nearly succeeded in breaking the Soviet Union in the months that followed. Caught unprepared, the Soviet forces lost whole armies and vast quantities of equipment to the German onslaught in the first weeks of the war. By November 1941 the German army had seized the Ukrainian Republic, besieged Leningrad, the Soviet Union's second largest city, and threatened Moscow itself. The war ended for the Soviet Union on 9th May 1945.

10 Labor army

it was made up of men of call-up age not trusted to carry firearms by the Soviet authorities. Such people were those living on the territories annexed by the USSR in 1940 (Eastern Poland, the Baltic States, parts of Karelia, Bessarabia and northern Bukovina) as well as ethnic Germans living in the Soviet Union proper. The labor army was employed for carrying out tough work, in the woods or in mines. During the first winter of the war, 30 percent of those drafted into the labor army died of starvation and hard work. The number of people in the labor army decreased sharply when the larger part of its contingent was transferred to the national Estonian, Latvian, and Lithuanian Corps, created at the beginning of 1942. The remaining labor detachments were maintained up until the end of the war.

11 Collective farm (in Russian kolkhoz)

In the Soviet Union the policy of gradual and voluntary collectivization of agriculture was adopted in 1927 to encourage food production while freeing labor and capital for industrial development. In 1929, with only 4% of farms in kolkhozes, Stalin ordered the confiscation of peasants' land, tools, and animals; the kolkhoz replaced the family farm.

12 Card system

The food card system regulating the distribution of food and industrial products was introduced in the USSR in 1929 due to extreme deficit of consumer goods and food. The system was cancelled in 1931. In 1941, food cards were reintroduced to keep records, distribute and regulate food supplies to the population. The card system covered main food products such as bread, meat, oil, sugar, salt, cereals, etc. The rations varied depending on which social group one belonged to, and what kind of work one did. Workers in the heavy industry and defense enterprises received a daily ration of 800 g (miners - 1 kg) of bread per person; workers in other industries 600 g. Non-manual workers received 400 or 500 g based on the significance of their enterprise, and children 400 g. However, the card system only covered industrial workers and residents of towns while villagers never had any provisions of this kind. The card system was cancelled in 1947.

13 Ispolkom

After the tsar's abdication (March, 1917), power passed to a Provisional Government appointed by a temporary committee of the Duma, which proposed to share power to some extent with councils of workers and soldiers known as 'Soviets'. Following a brief and chaotic period of fairly democratic procedures, a mixed body of socialist intellectuals known as the Ispolkom secured the right to 'represent' the Soviets. The democratic credentials of the Soviets were highly imperfect to begin with: peasants - the overwhelming majority of the Russian population - had virtually no say, and soldiers were grossly over-represented. The Ispolkom's assumption of power turned this highly imperfect democracy into an intellectuals' oligarchy.

14 All-Union pioneer organization

a communist organization for teenagers between 10 and 15 years old (cf: boy-/ girlscouts in the US). The organization aimed at educating the young generation in accordance with the communist ideals, preparing pioneers to become members of the Komsomol and later the Communist Party. In the Soviet Union, all teenagers were pioneers.

15 Komsomol

Communist youth political organization created in 1918. The task of the Komsomol was to spread of the ideas of communism and involve the worker and peasant youth in building the Soviet Union. The Komsomol also aimed at giving a communist upbringing by involving the worker youth in the political struggle, supplemented by theoretical education. The Komsomol was more popular than the Communist Party because with its aim of education people could accept uninitiated young proletarians, whereas party members had to have at least a minimal political qualification.

16 Riga ghetto

established on 23 August 1941. Located in the suburb of Riga populated by poor Jews. About 13 000 people resided here before the occupation, and about 30 000 inmates were kept in the ghetto. On 31 November and 8 December 1941 most inmates were killed in the Rumbuli forest. On 31 October 15 000 inmates were shot, 8 December 10 000 inmates were killed. Only younger men were kept alive to do hard work. After the bigger part of the ghetto population was exterminated, a smaller ghetto was established in December 1941. The majority of inmates of this 'smaller ghetto' were Jews, brought from the Reich and Western Europe. On 2 November 1943 the ghetto was closed. The survivors were taken to nearby concentration camps. In 1944 the remaining Jews were taken to Germany, where few of them survived through the end of the war.

17 Rumbula forest

the location where Latvian Jews, inmates of the Riga ghetto and Soviet prisoners-of-war were shot is in the woods near the Rumbula railway station. At the time this was the 12th kilometer of the highway from Riga to Daugavpils. The drawings of common graves were developed. There was a ramp made by each grave for prisoners to step into the grave. Soviet prisoners-of-war were forced to dig the graves to be also killed after performing their task. The total number of those killed in Rumbula is unknown. The most accurate might be the numbers given in the report of the police commander of Latvia, who personally commanded the actions in Rumbula. He indicated 27 800 victims in Rumbula, including 942 from the first transport of foreign Jews from Berlin, executed in Rumbula on the dawn of 30 November 1941, before execution of the Riga ghetto inmates. To hide the traces of their crimes, special units of SS Zondercommanden 1005 opened the graves and burned the remains of victims in spring and summer 1944. They also crashed burnt bones with bone crashing machines. This work was done by Soviet prisoners-of-war and Jews, who were also to be executed. In the 1960s local activists, despite counteraction of authorities, made arrangements in place of the Rumbula burial. They installed a memorial gravestone with the words 'To the victims of fascism' were engraved in LATVIAN, Russian and Yiddish.

18 Doctors' Plot

The Doctors' Plot was an alleged conspiracy of a group of Moscow doctors to murder leading government and party officials. In January 1953, the Soviet press reported that nine doctors, six of whom were Jewish, had been arrested and confessed their guilt. As Stalin died in March 1953, the trial never took place. The official paper of the Party, the Pravda, later announced that the charges against the doctors were false and their confessions obtained by torture. This case was one of the worst anti-Semitic incidents during Stalin's reign. In his secret speech at the Twentieth Party Congress in 1956 Khrushchev stated that Stalin wanted to use the Plot to purge the top Soviet leadership.

19 Gulag

The Soviet system of forced labor camps in the remote regions of Siberia and the Far North, which was first established in 1919. However, it was not until the early 1930s that there was a significant number of inmates in the camps. By 1934 the Gulag, or the Main Directorate for Corrective Labor Camps, then under the Cheka's successor organization the NKVD, had several million inmates. The prisoners included murderers, thieves, and other common criminals, along with political and religious dissenters. The Gulag camps made significant contributions to the Soviet economy during the rule of Stalin. Conditions in the camps were extremely harsh. After Stalin died in 1953, the population of the camps was reduced significantly, and conditions for the inmates improved somewhat.

20 Deportations from the Baltics (1940-1953)

After the Soviet Union occupied the three Baltic states (Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania) in June 1940 as a part of establishing the Soviet system, mass deportation of the local population began. The victims of these were mainly but not exclusively those unwanted by the regime: the local bourgeoisie and the previously politically active strata. Deportations to remote parts of the Soviet Union continued up until the death of Stalin. The first major wave of deportation took place between 11th and 14th June 1941, when 36,000, mostly politically active people were deported. Deportations were reintroduced after the Soviet Army recaptured the three countries from Nazi Germany in 1944. Partisan fights against the Soviet occupiers were going on all up to 1956, when the last squad was eliminated. Between June 1948 and January 1950, in accordance with a Decree of the Presidium of the Supreme Council of the USSR under the pretext of 'grossly dodged from labor activity in the agricultural field and led anti-social and parasitic mode of life' from Latvia 52,541, from Lithuania 118,599 and from Estonai 32,450 people were deported. The total number of deportees from the three republics amounted to 203,590. Among them were entire Lithuanian families of different social strata (peasants, workers, intelligentsia), everybody who was able to reject or deemed capable to reject the regime. Most of the exiled died in the foreign land. Besides, about 100,000 people were killed in action and in fusillade for being members of partisan squads and some other 100,000 were sentenced to 25 years in camps.

21 Twentieth Party Congress

At the Twentieth Congress of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union in 1956 Khrushchev publicly debunked the cult of Stalin and lifted the veil of secrecy from what had happened in the USSR during Stalin's leadership.

22 Khrushchev, Nikita (1894-1971)

Soviet communist leader. After Stalin's death in 1953, he became first secretary of the Central Committee, in effect the head of the Communist Party of the USSR. In 1956, during the 20th Party Congress, Khrushchev took an unprecedented step and denounced Stalin and his methods. He was deposed as premier and party head in October 1964. In 1966 he was dropped from the Party's Central Committee.

23 October Revolution Day

October 25 (according to the old calendar), 1917 went down in history as victory day for the Great October Socialist Revolution in Russia. This day is the most significant date in the history of the USSR. Today the anniversary is celebrated as 'Day of Accord and Reconciliation' on November 7.

24 Victory Day in Russia (9th May)

National holiday to commemorate the defeat of Nazi Germany and the end of World War II and honor the Soviets who died in the war.

25 Soviet Army Day

The Russian imperial army and navy disintegrated after the outbreak of the Revolution of 1917, so the Council of the People's Commissars created the Workers' and Peasants' Red Army on a voluntary basis. The first units distinguished themselves against the Germans on February 23, 1918. This day became the 'Day of the Soviet Army' and is nowadays celebrated as 'Army Day'.

26 Reestablishment of the Latvian Republic

On May, 4 1990 Supreme Soviet of the Latvian Soviet Republic has accepted the declaration in which was informed on desire to restore independence of Latvia, and the transition period to restoration of full independence has been declared. The Soviet leadership in Moscow refused to acknowledge the independence of Lithuania and initiated an economic blockade on the country. At the referendum held on march, 3 1991, over 90 percent of the participants voted for independence. On 21 August 1991 the parliament took a decision on complete restoration of the prewar statehood of Latvia. The western world finally recognized Lithuanian independence and so did the USSR on 24th August 1991. In September 1991 Lithuania joined the United Nations. Through the years of independence Latvia has implemented deep economic reforms, introduced its own currency (Lat) in 1993, completed privatization and restituted the property to its former owners. Economic growth constitutes 5-7% per year. Also, it's taken the course of escaping the influence of Russia and integration into European structures. In February 1993 Latvia introduced the visa procedure with Russia, and in 1995 the last units of the Russian army left the country. Since 2004 Latvia has been a member of NATO and the European Union.

27 Perestroika (Russian for restructuring)

Soviet economic and social policy of the late 1980s, associated with the name of Soviet politician Mikhail Gorbachev. The term designated the attempts to transform the stagnant, inefficient command economy of the Soviet Union into a decentralized, market-oriented economy. Industrial managers and local government and party officials were granted greater autonomy, and open elections were introduced in an attempt to democratize the Communist Party organization. By 1991, perestroika was declining and was soon eclipsed by the dissolution of the USSR.

28 Struggle against religion

The 1930s was a time of anti-religion struggle in the USSR. In those years it was not safe to go to synagogue or to church. Places of worship, statues of saints, etc. were removed; rabbis, Orthodox and Roman Catholic priests disappeared behind KGB walls.
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