Amalia Blank

This is my present picture. The photo was taken in my flat in Tallinn in 2006. The Jewish community of Estonia is helping me. I am lonely and old. They try to make my life easier. They bring lunches and provide other assistance. I found good friends in the community. One Nata Rit is the worthiest. She became a close person to me and all my unrealized maternal love is given to her. In old years, diseases are not the hardest, the loneliness is. I have a lot of time to think things over. I live a duplicate of my life: I recollect, reassess the events that I have lived through. It is wonderful that they created this Centropa program and decided to record recollections of old people. Each life is a novel, written by life, and we are the co-authors. Those novels depend on us. It is wonderful that all I had to go through or other people had to, even the dreadful, breaking moments will be remembered by human hearts. In 1991 the Soviet Union was dissolved and Estonia gained independence. Of course, the Soviet Union was a scary empire, where human life was not worth a dime, only great goals were appreciated. It seems to me what came to pass is not very good either. All mean things in people are revealed - thirst for money grubbing, gains at any cost. Maybe it is like with a flood. The garbage pops up to the surface and it has to settle. I don't know. Nature always revenges for violence and such a rapid breakup of the USSR was also violence of sorts. There were things when rivers were turned round. Maybe now they would like to fly to Saturn to open up a restaurant there. But still, I remain an optimist. I believe that things might turn better. My dream is that such a person will be at power, who will bring justice, mercy, pity on the weak and helpless. There are people who are trying to do that, but they do not accomplish that, unfortunately. But I believe it is possible. I cannot help believing. There are people who have done so many good things to me that I know for sure that there is kindness. Every person should try to leave a trace, a trace of kindness which will stay in hearts and memories for good.