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When Jews started immigrating to Israel, I was not going to leave anywhere. The matter is that my husband was a Lithuanian, a Catholic. I could not picture my life in another country. This is my country, the land of my relatives. My sister Masha and her husband left. Of course, I did not judge anybody; everybody has the right to make their own decisions. I always followed the events taking place in Israel, especially during the wars. First my sister Rika, who was not only a sister, but a friend to me, then my sister Masha moved there.
Of course, I wanted to see the country and my sisters. I managed to go there only in 1995. At that time I told my husband, ‘If I do not go now, I never will.’ It was hard for me to be there. I went in April, but it was sultry. I could barely stand the heat. In general, the atmosphere in Israel was strange for me. I know and love Ivrit and Yiddish, Jewish literature, but I am used to Estonian culture, to aloofness of some kind. If I were younger, it would be easier for me to adapt, but at my age it is impossible. I would not be able to live there. If I had to escape there from horrors and war, I would go there, but still I would miss Estonia, its cold sea.
I liked Jerusalem a lot, its ancient architecture. It is an amazing city. When I was by the Wailing Wall, I felt ashamed in a way. I wanted to feel that I was at the sacred place for Jews, but I could not feel it. It was not mine. Estonia was mine. I love both Estonians and Jews. Maybe it is not normal. Both of my sisters got wonderfully acclimatized in Israel. Masha is no longer alive. She died in 2004.Her husband is still alive. He gets by very well. Rika is living in a nursing home. She is 96. Last year my son went to Israel and visited her. She does no seem to understand what is going on. Oleg brought her picture. It is hard to recognize her – a little old lady with snow white hair. She always dyed her hair.
Of course, I wanted to see the country and my sisters. I managed to go there only in 1995. At that time I told my husband, ‘If I do not go now, I never will.’ It was hard for me to be there. I went in April, but it was sultry. I could barely stand the heat. In general, the atmosphere in Israel was strange for me. I know and love Ivrit and Yiddish, Jewish literature, but I am used to Estonian culture, to aloofness of some kind. If I were younger, it would be easier for me to adapt, but at my age it is impossible. I would not be able to live there. If I had to escape there from horrors and war, I would go there, but still I would miss Estonia, its cold sea.
I liked Jerusalem a lot, its ancient architecture. It is an amazing city. When I was by the Wailing Wall, I felt ashamed in a way. I wanted to feel that I was at the sacred place for Jews, but I could not feel it. It was not mine. Estonia was mine. I love both Estonians and Jews. Maybe it is not normal. Both of my sisters got wonderfully acclimatized in Israel. Masha is no longer alive. She died in 2004.Her husband is still alive. He gets by very well. Rika is living in a nursing home. She is 96. Last year my son went to Israel and visited her. She does no seem to understand what is going on. Oleg brought her picture. It is hard to recognize her – a little old lady with snow white hair. She always dyed her hair.
Period
Location
Israel
Interview
Siima Shkop