Motel Meilakhs at a lecture

This photograph was taken in 1959 in the Palace of Pioneers in the city of Kustanai, where I read lectures for teachers on pedagogical ethics after rehabilitation. 

I believed in Marxism-Leninism, as in my childhood I believed in the Torah. I never trusted Stalin. The matter is, that I read a lot of old literature and knew, that Stalin was a worthless man, an adventurer. Besides, in the camp I frequently met an old Trotskist named Verap, mentioned by Solzhenitsyn in ‘Gulag.’ In his time he gave a recommendation to join the Communist Party to such a major political figure as Beriya. Verap received 400 grams of bread in the camp, and I, as a porter, earned sometimes more than one kilo. He told me a lot of secret party intrigues. His stories about Stalin had fully convinced me that the man was a dull-witted political adventurer, an intriguer.

Besides, I used to read books known to few people nowadays. There was, for example, a brochure by Trotsky ‘The Lessons of October.’ In this brochure he reproaches Kamenev and Zinoviev for voting against the October revolution. Angered, they later helped Stalin to dismiss Trotsky. Then, when they began to criticize Stalin, the latter was supported by Bukharin, Rykov and Tomsky. Stalin managed simply to push away the shortsighted people. I knew about it very well from books that I read. Later, when I was rehabilitated, I went to Leningrad. I found minutes of party sessions in a library. They, too, helped me to clear up the situation of those times. I have written several articles based on these minutes.