Travel

Ivan Pasternak

Ivan Pasternak
Bratislava
Slovakia

My name is Ivan Pasternak, I'm from Bratislava, and I was born during the
Holocaust. My mother and me survived; my father died in Dachau. I was
hiding with my mother with the help of the Habel family from Devinska Nova
Ves near Bratislava. Grandmother Fanus Habel, Ludvicek, Ilonka, Jozinko and
children from Devinska Nova Ves helped us. The grandmother always knew in
advance about the fascist roundups. When it was announced for Devinska Nova
Ves, we had to move to Lamac to her relatives. And when the roundup was
expected in Lamac, we moved back to Devinska Nova Ves. The roundups
happened very often. They were looking for Jews. I wonder if it was due to
my mother's upbringing or if it was God's will, but I never cried on such
dangerous occasions. After the Holocaust we visited this family for the
first and unfortunately last time in 1947. The grandmother got ill; the
children moved to various places. We are still in correspondence with them.

 

Family background">Family background

My parents come from Presov. My mother's maiden name was Preisova. My
grandmother was Helena Preisova, nee Rotmanova. My grandfather was called
Eliezer Preis. We have a menorah at home with the engraving Eliezer Preis.
Their three daughters Katarina, Nely and my mother Marta attended school on
Konstantinova Street in Presov. My mother was born in August 1916. My
grandparents lived in a house with a nice verandah on Sabinovska Street.
The eldest daughter, Katarina, liked to sit there in a wicker-chair reading
novels. My mother used to tell her: Don't read so much, your eyes will get
bad. Now, that she is 80, she is partially blind.

The head teacher of my mother and her sisters was Ms. Bednarova, who was a
nun and a good friend of our family. The nuns were prosecuted later, in the
communist era, and they were forced to move from Presov to Bacs near
Dunajska Streda. I saw Ms. Bednarova when she was over 70 on the occasion
of the visit of my aunt Nely, who lived in Nairobi, Kenya. My uncle Sani
Gellert and Aunt Nely lived in Nairobi during World War II. They could save
their lives thanks to businessman Bata 1. He could see that the situation
in Central Europe wasn't good for Jews so he decided to send them to his
branch in Nairobi. My aunt and her daughter were cooking for the workers in
the Bata factory and this way earned money to survive the war. My uncle
Sani fought in the Czechoslovak Army in Egypt. All the family survived and
after the war a son, Andrew, was born, my cousin, who lives in London.

Our family has always been keen on sports. I have photos of both my
mother's sisters at a Presov swimming pool near the Torysa river. The
Jewish youth, members of the Maccabi 2 association, used to meet there.
Both sisters and their husbands liked to go for long walks. Both husbands
graduated from Charles University in Prague and then became doctors in
Zlin. They used to play tennis in Zlin.

During the war

Sad memories are connected with the early 1940s. The eldest sister,
Katarina, who lived in Kosino, which was part of Hungary then, came to
visit her parents. They didn't know that this was to be their last
encounter. My grandparents died in the Holocaust. They were deported in
1942 and perished in Auschwitz in 1945.

My father's family was called Pasternak. They were forwarding agents but
they were very keen on giving their children the best education possible.
My father's best friend was an English teacher. My grandmother was Rozalia
Pasternakova, nee Grossmanova; she died in 1944. My grandfather was called
Emanuel Pasternak. In June 1941 the whole family was still in Presov. They
lived on 14, Kovacska Street. I have a picture of the whole family in the
backyard of the house. My parents are sitting on the bench. My father's
younger brother Vojtech Pasternak is there with his wife Etela. At that
time he was a soldier with the Czechoslovak Army in Ruthenia [see
Subcarpathia] 3. I didn't know his brother Zoli; he died in the
Holocaust. William Pasternak, my father's other brother, was a high
military officer. He was a representative of the Jewish community in Presov
and a deputy of the Presov council. He had a son, Tomas, my cousin, who
died along with his father and my father in Dachau in 1945. Members of the
family, who escaped deportation for a certain while, had a special
exemption for 'economically important Jews'.

Presov was the first town where Jews had to be specially marked. They had
to wear white strips even before the rule about wearing yellow star came
into effect. I have a photo of my father that was taken for the
registration in police archives.

My parents Teodor Pasternak and Marta Pasternakova, nee Preisova, got
married on 1st January 1940. The wedding was held in a Neolog 4 synagogue
on Konstantinova Street in Presov. Their friends Edita and Pali Fraenkl got
married on 26th January 1941. The Fraenkl family survived the Holocaust by
escaping to Hungary. Once they were hiding in Gzongzos, when Horthy 5
groups were doing a roundup searching for Jews. The Fraenkls were hiding in
the loft and when the soldiers came to the fifth floor the whistles ordered
the soldiers to leave. More than 50 Jews were arrested and deported from
that house only. The Fraenkls had two children: Jancsi, who was born in
December 1945 and Elzi, who followed five years later. Their son Jancsi is
still a member of the Presov Jewish community.

My parents were very sociable people. The Jewish social life in Presov was
quite rich. The Jewish youth used to meet at a place where a swimming pool
was built later. They established a Jewish association called Fortuna. They
organized trips, social events and religious ceremonies in Presov.

The Maccabi association organized trips on the river Torysa, to the High
Tatras and also abroad. My father used to plan the trips. Already in 1926
Maccabi had over 50 members interested in tourism. They were mostly men,
but also about ten women. Most of my parents' friends, for example the
Gellert family, didn't survive the Holocaust.

My father was an eager football player. He played for Maccabi Presov. This
was a strong team; on 31st May 1924 the Maccabi football club won 2:1 over
Torokves in Presov. Torokves played in the National Football League,
whereas the Maccabi players were all amateurs. The football team was based
in a working class district nicknamed Mexico Platz [Mexico Square].

Post-war">Post-war

My mother and me survived and came back to Presov after the war. Our return
was a bit delayed because the trains only started running in June or July
twice a week from Bratislava to Zilina. In Zilina we had to wait for a day
for a train from Zilina to Kosice and from there we continued on a horse
carriage to Presov.

I graduated from university and stayed in Bratislava. I'm a teacher. My
mother lived here too; she died a while ago. I'm married, my wife's name is
Zuzka. She is a doctor and she is Jewish. We have two sons, Teodor and
Peter, who are both single.

Glossary">Glossary

1 Bata, Tomas (1876-1932)

Czech industrialist. From a small shoemaking
business, he built up the largest leather factory in Europe in 1928,
producing 75,000 pairs of shoes a day. His son took over the business after
his father's death in a plane crash in 1932, turned the village of Zlin,
where the factory was, into an industrial center and provided lots of
Czechs with jobs. He expanded the business to Canada in 1939, took a
hundred Czech workers along with him, and thus saved them from becoming
victims of the Nazi regime.

2 Maccabi World Union

International Jewish sports organization whose
origins go back to the end of the 19th century. A growing number of young
Eastern European Jews involved in Zionism felt that one essential
prerequisite of the establishment of a national home in Palestine was the
improvement of the physical condition and training of ghetto youth. In
order to achieve this, gymnastics clubs were founded in many Eastern and
Central European countries, which later came to be called Maccabi. The
movement soon spread to more countries in Europe and to Palestine. The
World Maccabi Union was formed in 1921. In less than two decades its
membership was estimated at 200,000 with branches located in most countries
of Europe and in Palestine, Australia, South America, South Africa, etc.

3 Subcarpathia (also known as Ruthenia, Russian and Ukrainian name
Zakarpatie)

Region situated on the border of the Carpathian Mountains with
the Middle Danube lowland. The regional capitals are Uzhhorod, Berehovo,
Mukachevo, Khust. It belonged to the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy until World
War I; and the Saint-Germain convention declared its annexation to
Czechoslovakia in 1919. It is impossible to give exact historical
statistics of the language and ethnic groups living in this geographical
unit: the largest groups in the interwar period were Hungarians, Rusyns,
Russians, Ukrainians, Czech and Slovaks. In addition there was also a
considerable Jewish and Gypsy population. In accordance with the first
Vienna Decision of 1938, the area of Subcarpathia mainly inhabited by
Hungarians was ceded to Hungary. The rest of the region was proclaimed a
new state called Carpathian Ukraine in 1939, with Khust as its capital, but
it only existed for four and a half months, and was occupied by Hungary in
March 1939. Subcarpathia was taken over by Soviet troops and local
guerrillas in 1944. In 1945, Czechoslovakia ceded the area to the USSR and
it gained the name Carpatho-Ukraine. The region became part of the
Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic in 1945. When Ukraine became
independent in 1991, the region became an administrative region under the
name of Transcarpathia.

4 Neolog Jewry

Following a Congress in 1868/69 in Budapest, where the
Jewish community was supposed to discuss several issues on which the
opinion of the traditionalists and the modernizers differed and which aimed
at uniting Hungarian Jews, Hungarian Jewry was officially split into two
(later three) communities, which all built up their own national community
network. The Neologs were the modernizers, who opposed the Orthodox on
various questions.

5 Horthy, Miklos (1868-1957)

Regent of Hungary from 1920 to 1944.
Relying on the conservative plutocrats and the great landowners and
Christian middle classes, he maintained a right-wing regime in interwar
Hungary. In foreign policy he tried to attain the revision of the Trianon
peace treaty - on the basis of which two thirds of Hungary's territory were
seceded after WWI - which led to Hungary entering WWII as an ally of
Germany and Italy. When the Germans occupied Hungary in March 1944, Horthy
was forced to appoint as Prime Minister the former ambassador of Hungary in
Berlin, who organized the deportations of Hungarian Jews. On 15th October
1944 Horthy announced on the radio that he would ask the Allied Powers for
truce. The leader of the extreme right-wing fascist Arrow Cross Party,
Ferenc Szalasi, supported by the German army, took over power. Horthy was
detained in Germany and was later liberated by American troops. He moved to
Portugal in 1949 and died there in 1957.

Matilda Hrabovecka

Matilda Hrabovecka
Bratislava
Slovakia

My family background
Growing up
During the war
Surviving Auschwitz
My return to Slovakia
Married life
Glossary

My family background

I was born into an Orthodox Jewish family, which had several rabbis, in
Presov region. My mother Dorota Friedmannova, nee Weil, was born in 1886
and came from Poland. My father Jozef Friedmann came from Stropkov and was
quite well off. He was born in 1884.

My maternal grandfather's surname was Weil. I don't know his first name. He
was born in Jaslo, Poland, and died before World War II, in the 1930s.

I would say our family was rather bohemian, although the men grew beards
and were religious. My father was also religious; he graduated from a
yeshivah, but I remember seeing him, when he thought nobody could, turn on
the radio on Saturday, although this was considered work.

Growing up

My parents had eight children, me being the youngest. My two older sisters
were Lujza and Anna or Anusa. Both worked and supported the family. Lujza
was the oldest. She was born in Presov in 1910. Before World War II she
finished an accounting course. She was deported to Auschwitz with the last
transport in 1942, along with her husband, Bela Wohlwert, and in December,
during the last selection, she was sent to the gas chambers. She spent
three months in the concentration camp. Her husband was also killed in
Auschwitz in 1942.

Anusa was born in 1912, also in Presov. She was good at music and played
the violin. She married Sandor Abrahamovic in 1937. He was born in Presov
in 1905. Before the war he worked as a shop-keeper. She was killed in
Lublin ghetto in 1942 at the age of 30. Anusa and Sandor had a son,
Herbert, who was born in Presov in 1938. He was deported to Treblinka,
where he died at the age of four. My youngest sister, Alzbeta, was born in
Presov in 1926. She was killed in Treblinka in 1942, only 18 years old.

My mother was the one who took care of the family, not only by keeping the
household, but also by trying to help financially, which wasn't really
common at that time. Our family wasn't very well-off because my father got
involved in a rather dubious business with gas stations and went bankrupt,
although one could argue that his bankruptcy was mainly the consequence of
his gambling habit; he liked to play cards. Despite their poverty my
parents tried really hard to provide education for all of us.

My oldest brother, Bernardt, left for France to stay with his uncle. My
younger brother, Henrich, became a locksmith, and the rest of us, girls,
attended a Neolog 1 school and later on a gymnasium. All the siblings
worked hard to support the family.

The Presov Neolog school was mainly attended by students from more well-to-
do families, thus I experienced the meaning of social differences in my
early years, which motivated me to join the Hashomer Hatzair 2 and later
the Communist Youth Organization.

Hashomer Hatzair was very important to everyone in our group of youngsters.
My youngest sister Alzbeta would go there with me, and the Kamenski
brothers, Pali and Lori, also came. Lori was really smart and quite
talented in school. He didn't survive the camps. Except for Rosenberg
Imrich, who was in Theresienstadt 3 during World War II, all the others
from our Hashomer Hatzair group were killed during the Holocaust.

I really loved going to school, mainly because we had wonderful teachers.
The headmaster's name was Svarc; we all loved him and referred to him as
,Svarc bacsi' [Uncle Svarc]. Then there was Mr. Reich, who was teaching
religion and Hebrew and then our class-teacher Mrs. Kleinova. She was the
mother of Professor Fischer, who taught in the physics department. It's a
sad thing to mention that from all the people I went to school with, only
about eleven survived. The others were killed during the Holocaust.

In 1939, when the first anti-Jewish legislation [see Anti-Jewish laws in
Hungary] 4 started to be introduced, I was learning to become a tailor.
Unfortunately, I never learned very much since they used to have me do all
sorts of odd jobs instead.

My sister Malvina, or Manci, was born in Presov in 1920. She graduated from
a high school, then we stopped going to school because of the anti-Jewish
measures. I went to work for a wood seller, who was Jewish and for whom my
sister was also supposed to work. But my father sent me without her and
Manci stayed home. He was always worried about her, since she was so
beautiful.

During the war

In 1942 they drafted me as the first member of my family and I was deported
in the first wave. One of my cousins fled to the Soviet Union. Later we
found out that he died in one of the Gulag 5 camps, so his escape from
the fascists didn't help him.

We left Presov for Poprad by train. It was my first trip on a train, and I
thought of the irony of life, whether this train trip was also to be my
last one. The people in Presov were horrified by what was happening to us,
Jews, but already in Poprad the atmosphere changed completely: Slovak
guards were beating us like crazy. They loaded us onto cattle cars and
transported us to Auschwitz.

My sister Manci went to the gas chamber along with my parents. It makes me
cry when I remember what a cute little thing she was, with those blue eyes
and dark hair. I really loved her. Sometimes I think of her, even today,
when I see her friend Katka Hexnerova, who lives in Kosice now.

Surviving Auschwitz

I spent three years in Auschwitz, full of suffering, selections and finally
a death march out of the camp. While I was in Auschwitz, I found out that
my friend from Hashomer Hatzair, Halmos Nusi, was there. Halmos came from a
rather wealthy family. Her parents had divorced years ago; she was an only
child, and, I would say, she was spoiled. She was sick as soon as she
arrived in this hell, and was taken to see a doctor because she was
complaining about a sore throat. Poor Halmos was dead even before they took
the rest of her group to Birkenau, but I don't know exactly what happened.

I could say that because of the horrors I witnessed, I developed my own
philosophy for staying alive in such a hell. To be frank, I find it painful
to say what that philosophy is today. The things I went through in
Auschwitz influenced my whole life: I always avoided standing in the back
of any group, or on the side. And I would never stand in the front, either,
so that I would never be seen as not being part of the crowd. And in
Auschwitz I survived, in fact, to the detriment of those who happened to be
standing on the sides. To put it bluntly, that means every survivor lives
on the grave of someone else, and I still find this hard to deal with.

From my entire family, my parents and sisters were all murdered along with
a number of relatives-even my four-year-old nephew Herbert. I survived
along with my sister Blanka and brother Bernardt. After I returned to
Slovakia, I realized at once how much my way of thinking and my values had
changed after three years spent in hell.

My return to Slovakia

It took me some time to come back. I took the last repatriation bus and
arrived in Neustvelica, near Neubrandenburg. I came back to Prague, but was
scared of the disappointments I knew were waiting for me at home. I didn't
know what to expect from those people and what freedom meant.

On the way, several Yugoslav women were trying to convince me to go home
with them, but I decided to go to Presov first and see if anybody had
survived. My sister was working as a clerk, and amazingly, she had somehow
managed to escape the concentration camp. I didn't blame her for that, but
she was nothing but a huge disappointment after keeping me waiting until
her lunch break! I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive her for failing
to understand what I had gone through.

I had too many ideals about the Slovak National Uprising 6 and everybody
who took part in it; everything seemed to be perfect to me. Suddenly, I
idealized the whole society and the situation that we were living in,
although I was worried about the future.

Then I enrolled in high school. I crammed four years into one year and
graduated in Kosice. But, it wasn't all so nice and easy. I was really
poor. I didn't even go to my own sister's wedding because I had nothing
nice, or even decent, to wear.

And, anti-Semitism wasn't exactly dead. Once I lined up for lunch tickets
at work. The line was long, and when people saw the number on my arm, they
said, 'Look at this Jewish woman. Hitler didn't manage to kill them all;
more of them came back than there were before!' I was horribly upset and
ran to the police to report it, hoping that this would be a solitary
incident. Evidently, my view of life was very distorted then, I'm sorry to
say.

Married life

I continued with my education and studied in Prague later on, where I met
and married a Jewish man from Presov, Mikulas Hrabovecky, who survived the
Holocaust in Slovakia. I married a Jewish man because I wanted to avoid
being called stinking kike when I became an old woman. If your spouse isn't
Jewish, you can never be sure that he won't call you names during some
crisis.

After school, my husband Mikulas and I moved to Bratislava, where I joined
the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia 7 and became a civil servant. My
status changed for the worse during the personality cult in the fifties,
when my brother, a convinced communist and party member, ended up being
imprisoned.

Nowadays, after my retirement, I take care of my granddaughters. I have two
wonderful daughters Katka and Viera, and they, along with their children
Zuzka, Nina, Jozef and Daniel, are the joy of my life. I'm also involved in
the Documentation Center of the Holocaust, which I helped establish. I
wrote a book of memoirs on my time in Auschwitz.

Glossary

1 Neolog Jewry

Following a Congress in 1868/69 in Budapest, where the
Jewish community was supposed to discuss several issues on which the
opinion of the traditionalists and the modernizers differed and which aimed
at uniting Hungarian Jews, Hungarian Jewry was officially split into two
(later three) communities, which all built up their own national community
network. The Neologs were the modernizers, who opposed the Orthodox on
various questions.

2 Hashomer Hatzair

'The Young Watchman'; A Zionist-socialist pioneering
movement founded in Eastern Europe, Hashomer Hatzair trained youth for
kibbutz life and set up kibbutzim in Palestine. During World War II,
members were sent to Nazi-occupied areas and became leaders in Jewish
resistance groups. After the war, Hashomer Hatzair was active in 'illegal'
immigration to Palestine.

3 Terezin/Theresienstadt

A ghetto in the Czech Republic, run by the SS.
Jews were transferred from there to various extermination camps. It was
used to camouflage the extermination of European Jews by the Nazis, who
presented Theresienstadt as a 'model Jewish settlement'. Czech gendarmes
served as ghetto guards, and with their help the Jews were able to maintain
contact with the outside world. Although education was prohibited, regular
classes were held, clandestinely. Thanks to the large number of artists,
writers, and scholars in the ghetto, there was an intensive program of
cultural activities. At the end of 1943, when word spread of what was
happening in the Nazi camps, the Germans decided to allow an International
Red Cross investigation committee to visit Theresienstadt. In preparation,
more prisoners were deported to Auschwitz, in order to reduce congestion in
the ghetto. Dummy stores, a cafe, a bank, kindergartens, a school, and
flower gardens were put up to deceive the committee.

4 Anti-Jewish laws in Hungary

Following similar legislation in Nazi
Germany, Hungary enacted three Jewish laws in 1938, 1939 and 1941. The
first law restricted the number of Jews in industrial and commercial
enterprises, banks and in certain occupations, such as legal, medical and
engineering professions, and journalism to 20% of the total number. This
law defined Jews on the basis of their religion, so those who converted
before the short-lived Hungarian Soviet Republic in 1919, as well as those
who fought in World War I, and their widows and orphans were exempted from
the law. The second Jewish law introduced further restrictions, limiting
the number of Jews in the above fields to 6%, prohibiting the employment of
Jews completely in certain professions such as high school and university
teaching, civil and municipal services, etc. It also forbade Jews to buy or
sell land and so forth. This law already defined Jews on more racial
grounds in that it regarded baptized children that had at least one non-
converted Jewish parent as Jewish. The third Jewish law prohibited
intermarriage between Jews and non-Jews, and defined anyone who had at
least one Jewish grandparent as Jewish.

5 Gulag

The Soviet system of forced labor camps in the remote regions of
Siberia and the Far North, which was first established in 1919. However, it
was not until the early 1930s that there was a significant number of
inmates in the camps. By 1934 the Gulag, or the Main Directorate for
Corrective Labor Camps, then under the Cheka's successor organization the
NKVD, had several million inmates. The prisoners included murderers,
thieves, and other common criminals, along with political and religious
dissenters. The Gulag camps made significant contributions to the Soviet
economy during the rule of Stalin. Conditions in the camps were extremely
harsh. After Stalin died in 1953, the population of the camps was reduced
significantly, and conditions for the inmates improved somewhat.

6 Slovak National Uprising or 1944 Uprising was an armed insurrection organized by the
Slovak resistance during World War II

Its aim was to overthrow the collaborationist
Slovak State of Jozef Tiso. The insurrection was defeated by Nazi Germany.  

7 Communist Party of Czechoslovakia (KSC)

Founded in 1921 following a
split from the Social Democratic Party, it was banned under the Nazi
occupation. It was only after Soviet Russia entered World War II that the
Party developed resistance activity in the Protectorate of Bohemia and
Moravia; because of this, it gained a certain degree of popularity with the
general public after 1945. After the communist coup in 1948, the Party had
sole power in Czechoslovakia for over 40 years. The 1950s were marked by
party purges and a war against the 'enemy within'. A rift in the Party led
to a relaxing of control during the Prague Spring starting in 1967, which
came to an end with the occupation of Czechoslovakia by Soviet and allied
troops in 1968 and was followed by a period of normalization. The communist
rule came to an end after the Velvet Revolution of November 1989.

Rahela Perisic

Rahela Perisic
Bosnia
Interviewer: Klara Azulaj

My name is Rahela Perisic (nee Albahari) and I was born in 1922 in Sanski Most. My father, David Albahari, was born in 1889 in Tesanj (Bosnia) and my mother, Luna Albahari (nee Levi), was born in 1899 in Kladanj (Bosnia).

We lived in Sanski Most in a one-story garden house. Upstairs in this house we had a three room apartment and on the ground floor my father and his brother had a dry goods store. Next door to us lived my father's brother Jakob. They also had a garden house but their garden was much nicer than ours. Jakob's wife, Rena, grew beautiful flowers and had an orchard. My sisters, brother and I liked to stay at their house and play with their children. My father and his brother Jakob, two brothers, married two sisters, my mother and her sister Rena. Thus we lived liked one family.

A great number of Jews lived in Sanski Most. They had many professions among them: merchants, craftspeople, pharmacists, lawyers, etc. All in all it was a beautiful Jewish community, one that knew how to get along and was always ready to jump in and help someone when it was needed. There was a temple. It was an old modest building where all the Jews of Sanski Most gathered and marked their holidays.

My father and uncle's business did not go well and they decided to leave Sanski Most. My family went 12 kilometers away from Sanski Most to a place called Lusci Palanka. My uncle and his family went to Sarajevo.

We were the only Jewish family in Lusci Palanka. My father, who was a very sociable man, made a lot of friends quickly. Soon after our arrival he also established the first library and reading room and a group of mandolin players. My mother was well received by the other women and she was always willing to help the other women especially when it came to advise about running a household and taking care of children.

In Lusci Palanka my sisters and I went to elementary school. Since Lusci Palanka did not have a temple we went to Sanski Most for Rosh Hashanah, Sukkot and sometimes for Pesach. While there we stayed with our relative Avram Atijas and his wife Mazalta. For us children Chanukah was the best. I loved to light the candles. I remember before Pesach my mother would take all the dishes to the garden where she cleaned each plate. She also had a special trunk with dishes only for Pesach. Regardless of the fact that there was no temple in Luka Palanka my family always washed before the Shabbat and wore nice clothes. My father wore a dress suit as if he had come back from temple. Then he would read a prayer and after dinner we would go for a walk.

We did not stay in Luka Palanka for long. My father had to move because his business was not going well. This was not an industrialized environment in fact it was exclusively an agricultural region. In 1930 we moved to Drvar. Drvar was an industrialized town rich in wood. There was a cellulose factory and a big sawmill. The Grmec mountain was exploited by the sawmill and many people were employed in this industry. Unfortunately, we found that we were once again the only Jewish family. My father found a very good space for our future shop and very quickly the seeds of his and my mother's work began to appear. As very social people, they quickly had a steady clientele and my father was able to buy many shares and we had a solid savings.

When we finished elementary school my sisters, Flora, Judita and I continued our schooling in Banja Luka because there was no secondary school in Drvar. We lived with our aunt Rena and her husband Jakob who had relocated from Sarajevo to Banja Luka. My uncle's business did not go well and his family lived very modestly. My father helped him a lot.

My sisters and I joined the Jewish youth group in Banja Luka. There was a big temple and next to it a space for Jewish youth activities called Ken. In Ken we learned Hebrew, songs and Jewish games and we organized trips out of Banja Luka. Older girls and boys always went with we younger ones and they paid strict attention to our behavior. When we passed through the town everyone knew that we were Jews because we were dressed in clean clothes, not luxuriously, but very neat, and we were always well behaved.

My mother's brother, Haim Levi, also lived in Banja Luka. He had a big hairdresser salon. Frequently, he told me stories about his parents, Haim and Flora Levi. Since they died before I was born I listened to his stories with great interest. The story of my great-grandfather, Salomon, my grandmother Flora Levi's father, was especially moving and interesting. My great-grandfather was a banker of sorts. He had a currency exchange. He would take foreign currency and go from Banja Luka to Prijedor to change the money from Turkish currency to Austro-Hungarian. (Editor's note: we assume she is speaking of pre-1878, when Banja Luka was still in Turkish hands). He traveled a lot for this work. Once, while he was in Prijedor, someone noticed that he had a big bag from which he took out foreign money and changed it. Thieves waited for and killed my great-grandfather and took the money. His horse and dog returned home by themselves. My great- grandmother Bikina organized a search party and with help from the horse and dog she found the place where the crime occurred. The killer was quickly found and taken to prison.

My grandfather Haim and his wife Flora had a small shop. They sold mostly leather good including: saddles, horse harnesses, leather bags and other household goods. They lived modestly and observed all the holidays and customs because they were very religious. When their daughter Rena married she had to go to the ritual bath. For this ritual bath all the girls discreetly accompanied her to a place on the Vrbas River and helped her with the bath. Her hair was very long and they put some fragrant grass in her hair and on the way they sang. My mother told me about how wonderful these songs were. After the bath the bride was decorated and adorned until the morning. My grandmother Flora knew how to make the nicest tukada. A tukada is a hat which is placed on the bride and made from pearls and brocade. These were real pieces of art work. The young couple married under a traditional Jewish canopy and it was an event which all the young people of Banja Luka took part in. Six children were born from this marriage: Rena, Haim, Sarina, Luna, Leon and Matilda. Unfortunately, Matilda died very young. My mother's brother, Leon, was seriously injured during WWI. He never recovered from the injuries and died in 1923. His wife, Sida, died very quickly after him and the care of their three children: Zlata, Flora and Haim, was taken over by the remaining family members.

My paternal grandmother, Rahela Albahari (nee Atijas), was born in 1855 in Travnik.

She lived in a big family and had a lot of brothers and sisters. She was born while Bosnia and Hercegovina was under Turkish control. In Travnik there were a lot of Jewish families, more Sephards than Ashkenazis. There were rich and poor families. My great-grandfather was a small merchant and lived very modestly with his family. The male children learned a trade and female children did not go to school. My grandmother Rahela was very adroit, hardworking and curious about everything. She and her brothers learned Hebrew script and read religious books. Since the prayer books had Ladino (a medieval Spanish dialect written with Hebrew characters; Ladino, or Judeo-Espanol, was to Spanish what Yiddish was to German), she was able to use the Ladino to learn Hebrew. She spoke Ladino, Turkish, Hebrew and Serbian. She went to temple regularly, which was rare for female children at the time. She married Moshe Albahari when she was 17 years old. My grandfather Moshe's family lived in Travnik, and later moved to Tesanj, a small place in Bosnia. Moshe and Rahela lived in Tesanj and had a small shop. Rahela gave birth to 7 children: Salamon-Buhor, Jakob, Sabetaj, Leon, Gedalja, Ester and David. The children all left the house early; they learned a trade with friends or relatives in Travnik, Zenica and Sarajevo. When they finished their schooling, they got married, started their own families and lived in different places in Bosnia and Hercegovnia. Grandfather Moshe was sickly and he died of pneumonia around 1910. Since the children had moved away and she was left alone, Rahela decided to fulfill her longstanding wish to move to Israel and to die in the Holy Land. Her son Gedalja accompanied her to the ship, which sailed from Split.

When she arrived in Israel she educated Jewish children since she new Jewish history and how to read and write Hebrew quite well. She was in Israel when WWI broke out. Nostalgia and sadness overcame her. She was worried about her children. Unfortunately, she only managed to return to Bosnia in 1918. She died in Sarajevo in 1930. Before her death my father, my mother and my two sisters and I went to visit her. That is the first and last time I saw her. My father, David, was her youngest son and she was very close to him. I remember when we kissed her hand, first my father, then my mother and then the children and she kept repeating: "David, my sweet child."

Sometime around 1934, one could feel that bad times were coming. Fascism could already be felt in the air. After the unification of the Third Reich in 1938 (editor's note: this is how the respondent refers to the German takeover of Austria), many Jews arrived in Banja Luka from Austria. My uncle Salomon Levi took in one of these families. They left all of their property behind in Vienna. I was still too young to fully understand their situation. But, unfortunately, the hard times soon befell me too. For the 1940-41 school year I was enrolled in Prijedor. During this school year I started to have problems because my history professor was a fascist sympathizer and he always humiliated and insulted me in front of the whole grade. I cried after almost every class with him. My three school friends: Sveta Popovic, Joca Stefanovic and Milan Markovic were a great consolation to me. They would tell me: "Don't give in to him, hold your head up high, proudly, high, you are not going to let one fascist make you suffer." I listened to them. Numerus Klausus, a law which restricted the number of Jewish children who were able to go to school, had already been enacted. They carried this out especially rigorously with those boys and girls who were supposed to enroll in the higher grades of the gymnasium. At the teacher's meeting the director of my school insisted that I be thrown out, but I was lucky and my physics, geography and literature professors lobbied for me to stay. Their argument was that it would be better to dismiss a younger student who had time to transfer to some trade school rather than me. In the end they did not throw me out. I learned about this incident during the war when I met one my professors.

War broke out in 1941 and a German unit entered Drvar. Not much time passed before my father, mother and younger sister Judita, and my younger brother Moric, who was eleven, were taken to what was called a reception camp in Bosanski Petrovac by the Ustashe [Before and during WWII Ustashe were an extreme right wing political and military organization of Croatian nationalists on the German's side. They ruled Croatia from 1941-1945]. When this happened I was at my aunt's house. The Ustashe told her that she must send me to the camp but I did not go and I ran away instead. I hid in surrounding villages, however in the end I fell into the hands of the Ustashe and I suffered terribly when they took me to prison. But something happened to save me. Serbs, who were also mistreated by the Ustashe, attacked Drvar. I was liberated at that time. I immediately registered to help at the Drvar hospital. Salomon Levi, who I knew from before, worked there as a doctor. I contacted him and told him that I wanted to help in the hospital since before the war I had learned first aid in school. From that day I became a fighter against fascism. From then until 1945 I held a variety of different responsibilities and positions. Once the enemy attacked liberated territory and the people began to flee. Many mothers fled with weak children. Many children ran around like mad, fell in flames and disappeared. At the time I was in the 10th Krajiski brigade. I gathered these children, saved them from a sure death and took them back to a safe place. They were put up in a children's dormitory in Lika, which was established during the war. In honor of my effort to save as many children as possible, I was decorated with a medal of courage.

In the meantime, my parents along with Judita and Moric were supposed to be transferred from the reception camp to Jasenovac. However, my father was clever and while they were in the cattle cars waiting for the train tracks at the Prijedor station to be fixed he told my brother and sister to ask to the officers if they could use the toilet. Since there was not a normal toilet, they went a little behind the wagon and they managed to cross over the narrow-gauge railroad tracks. Shortly afterwards my parents managed to escape unnoticed and caught up with them. All four of them got on a train for Sanski Most. In Sanski Most they hid for some time; they wanted to reach Drvar because the Italians were there and they did not practice the same abuse the Germans did. With a lot of hardship they finally reached Drvar. I was ordered to stay in Drvar from the time the Italians took over to do illegal work. My father and mother spent the entire war running from place to place as liberated territories changed. My sister and brother were in the partisans.

In 1944 I caught pneumonia. The war efforts, hunger, walking, exhausted me terribly. My unit decided to transfer me to liberated territory from the medical facility. As soon as I got a little better I began to work in the youth organization in the liberated territory. This was in Bosanski Petrovac in Grahovo, in Jajce and in Travnik. At that time I was selected to be part of the top leadership for Bosnia and Hercegovina in the Central Committee of Anti-Fascist Youth. My work was a great help to our army. I organized youth to help carry the wounded, to plow, dig, sow since all the food was sent to the front lines. We started a literacy course, we taught the youth many useful things and skills. For this work I was also awarded. I received a lot of recognition. I received awards for serving Bosnia and Hercegovina, for contributing to the fight, and after the war for my work with children. I was in Bugojno until 1945 when I heard that Belgrade was liberated. Naturally we were overjoyed, however all of Yugoslavia was still not liberated. Fortunately that too happened.

The members of my family and I were reunited in Sarajevo in 1945. We all came to the family house. My father was very happy that all of his children had survived and said: "Children, do not worry as long as your head is on your shoulders, we will start over and there will be everything."

After the war we children continued our schooling, we went to so-called courses for one year and finished two grades. We all finished gymnasium. School was hard, there was no paper to be used and we were all greatly impoverished, but we were all ecstatic to be liberated. The Jewish community in Sarajevo received aid from different organizations like the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee, so that we Jews had clothing and we received eggs, powdered milk, rice, etc. My father was very active in the Jewish community. Later he got work as the head of a shop and while at this job he found himself. He worked with such enthusiasm in this store. Frequently he told me how he wanted to teach young people that commerce could be an honest trade. Not to steal and lie. My mother Luna devoted herself to the house. She met each of us and picked each of us up. In this time of poverty and lack of food she managed to make all sort of things out of nothing. Everyone loved her. In our family house in Sarajevo she waited for each of our surviving relatives. They slept on the floors until they found something. She had to clean, do laundry and cook and she never complained, she was so happy to have her children around her.

My parents were proud of each of their children because they all finished some form of higher education. My sister Judita finished agronomy and lived in Sarajevo. She married and had a daughter Tanja. My brother Moric finished forestry faculty and at the same time went to pilot school. He married a Jewish woman named Rahela Maestro. My father was very happy that there would be at least one heir. Rahela and Moric had a son who they named after our father. My sister Flora finished a commercial academy.

In 1946, I participated in the building of the Brcko-Banovici railroad line. After finishing the work I met a wonderful young man, my current husband, Ilija Perisic. He was active in aviation. Very soon after we met we married, in 1950.My two sisters and myself all married Serbs. My father wanted Jewish son-in-laws, but nonetheless he respected our choices. My father died in 1973.

My husband went to an advanced military school and finished a degree in political science. He is very responsible; he worked hard in the air force war division. He retired as a general lieutenant colonel.

My mother was in Sarajevo during the summers because we, her children, came there on our holidays. Those were wonderful days when the family gathered together. During the winters my mother would visit the three of us in Belgrade. She died in 1993.

My husband was a pilot, an officer in the Yugoslav national army and was transferred from Sarajevo to Belgrade. In the meantime, I managed to enroll in a two year teachers' college and right when I graduated my husband was transferred to Nis. My first teaching position was in Nis. We lived in Nis seven years and at one time I worked in the Museum of National Liberation Battles.

In the meantime we had three children. While the children were small they went to stay with my parents in Sarajevo for the school holidays. My parents celebrated all the Jewish holidays, so that from a young age my children knew everything about the holidays. Since Jewish holidays in essence mark historical events of the Jewish nation, their grandfather and grandmother explained to them the importance of all the holidays. My husband and I are atheists and in our house we celebrated neither Jewish nor Serbian holidays. My children are from a mixed marriage and feel like both Jews and Serbs. My eldest son Simo, finished the construction faculty and currently works for Energoprojekt as a deputy director. He is married and his wife works as an editor at the daily newspaper Politika. They have three children: Ana, a university student studying political science, Maya a fourth grader in middle school and Djordje a high school student in the II grade. My middle son, Predrag, finished the technological faculty and has a master's degree. He is married and has two sons Nenad and Mladen both of whom are students. My youngest son, Miljenko, finished the construction faculty and works. He has a daughter, Darja, who is in the V grade of elementary school. All of my sons and their families are members of the Jewish community. Sometimes my grandchildren go with the rest of the Jewish children to the (Joint Distribution Committee/Lauder Foundation) summer camp in Hungary.

We were once again transferred to Belgrade in 1959. I became employed at the Institute for History of the Workers' Movement. I worked there processing documents from the National liberation battles until my retirement in 1969.

I get much satisfaction and joy from grandchildren. They are my greatest treasure.  

Evgenia Ershova

Evgenia Ershova
Kiev
Ukraine
Interviewer: Zhanna Litinskaya
Date of interview: July 2002

My family background
Growing up
During the war
Post-war
Glossary

My family background

My father's father, Ioyl Gutianskiy, was born in the town of Krasnoye, in Vinnitsa province, Ukraine around 1870. The town of Krasnoye was a typical provincial little town with a Jewish and Ukrainian population. The Jews were traditionally craftsmen and the Ukrainians were farmers. They were good neighbors and didn't have any conflicts. I don't know the name of my father's grandfather, but I know that he was a cabinetmaker and his son, my grandfather Ioyl, followed in his footsteps. My grandfather attended cheder, like all the other Jewish boys, and this was all the education he received. My grandfather had brothers and sisters, but I don't know anything about them. I don't even know their names. His family was very poor and my grandfather Ioyl left his home when he was around 14 to look for work. He traveled from town to town looking for work. He stayed in a town long enough to do any repair work he could find, and upon finishing it he moved on. He sometimes came home to bring the money that he had earned, and stayed home for a while. He stayed in the town of Ladyzhin longer than in the others. He liked the daughter of a shoemaker for whom he was working. Her name was Buzia. Buzia also fell in love with the young cabinetmaker and they soon married. Buzia's father, the shoemaker, wasn't a wealthy man, and Ioyl's parents weren't either, but their children had a traditional Jewish wedding. The bride and bridegroom stood under the huppah and the orchestra played traditional music. They had guests from Ladyzhin and from the town of Krasnoye from where the bridegroom's family came. After the wedding the young couple settled down in Buzia's father's house. Ioyl opened a carpenter's shop in Ladyzhin. Buzia's younger brothers helped him in the shop.

Ladyzhin was a real Jewish town. Its inhabitants were shoemakers, tailors, hat makers, roofers and merchants who owned several stores. There was a synagogue in the town. My grandfather went there on Saturdays. They followed the laws of kashrut, honored the Sabbath and celebrated Jewish holidays. But they were not very religious. They paid tribute to the cultural traditions rather than to religion. They raised their children as Jews. The boys were circumcised and went to cheder. At age 13 the boys had their bar mitzvah and at age 12 their daughter had her bat mitzvah, in accordance with the Jewish rituals for the coming of age of boys and girls. I need to say here that my grandparents' children were not at all religious. They observed Jewish traditions while living with their parents, but they forgot about the traditions and holidays after leaving their parents' home.

All of them except for Grisha, the middle son, had high expectations that the Revolution would improve their lives. I don't know anything about the Jewish pogroms in Ladyzhin; at least, we never discussed this subject in our family. My grandfather Ioyl died from a lung disease around 1915. Their children went to bigger towns looking for work after the Revolution. My grandmother Buzia stayed on in Ladyzhin, and spent the last years of her life with her daughter Fania in Kiev. Fania, my grandmother and our family were in the evacuation together. I remember very little of her. She was very old and stayed in bed all the time. She died in Sverdlovsk in 1943.

Their oldest son, Boris, was born in 1894. He graduated from a Jewish elementary school and went to Kiev after the Revolution. Many schools were opened for young people from poor families in Kiev, Kharkov and a number of bigger towns. Young people from the smaller Jewish towns moved to the bigger towns to get an education. Boris took a course in teaching practices and then studied at the Pedagogical Institute. Boris worked at the orphanage for retarded children for many years. He was a wonderful teacher. He didn't have any children of his own. Boris and his wife Olga were in the evacuation during the war. After the war they returned to Kiev. Boris died in the early 1950s.

Grigory, or Gershl, born in 1895, was their next son. In 1918 he moved to the USA. He disliked the idea of building communism. He lived in Philadelphia and got married there. His daughter was born 1927. He opened a stationery store in the early 1920s. His business was successful and Grigory became a wealthy man. During the famine 1 in Ukraine in 1933 he sent my father parcels and money and my parents could buy food in the Torgsin store 2. I don't know whether any member of our family had problems related to Grigory's departure to the USA. I don't think there were any problems, and I don't know anyone who suffered from keeping in touch with relatives abroad. Grigory also sent us parcels after the war. He died in the mid-1980s.

My father's sister Fania, born in 1897, was the closest to our family. She went to elementary school for a few years and then studied at home. She passed entrance exams to the 6th grade of Odessa grammar school and graduated with the diploma of primary school teacher. After the Revolution Fania graduated from the Faculty of Mathematics of Odessa University. Fania got married. She lived in the town of Beshad with her husband. In the early 1930s she divorced her husband and came to Kiev with her son Victor. Victor went to the front during the first days of the war and perished at the very beginning of the war. After the evacuation Fania returned to Kiev. She died in 1964.

My father's younger brother Veniamin Gutianskiy, born around 1907, graduated from the Faculty of Literature in Moscow and became a Jewish children's writer. He wrote poems and short stories for children in Yiddish and in Russian. He lived in Kiev. In the mid-1930s a few books of his poems and stories for children in Yiddish were published. During World War II Veniamin and his wife Bertha were in the evacuation. Veniamin wasn't recruited to the army due to a lung disease. Their daughter Luba was born while they were in evacuation. After the war Bertha worked at the Institute of Literature in Kiev and Veniamin continued his writing. However, he wasn't published then. He was arrested in 1949, during the outburst of anti- Semitism, on charges of Zionistic propaganda. His wife Bertha was also arrested on a fabricated accusation. Their youngest daughter, Maria, was born in jail. Some time later they were exiled to Semipalatinsk, in the Kazakh Soviet Socialist Republic. Bertha's mother and Luba went there too. Veniamin didn't live long. In jail he fell ill with tuberculosis and died in Semipalatinsk in 1953. In 1956 Bertha and her children returned to Kiev. They had received documents of rehabilitation for herself and her husband Veniamin. Bertha and her children lived with us for some time, because they had lost their previous apartment. In 1957 Bertha received a small two-room apartment. Bertha died in 1972. Her daughters live in the USA.

My father, Leiba Gutianskiy, was born in Ladyzhin on September 27, 1901. He changed his name to Lev during the Soviet era. He finished cheder and then the Jewish elementary school, like all the other boys in the family. Later, my father became a laborer at the sugar factory not far from Ladyzhin. Subsequently, he became a clerk at this same factory. After the Revolution he finished a course in accounting and continued to work as an accountant at this same factory.

I know very little about my mother's parents. My mother was a very withdrawn person and told me more about my father's parents rather than about her own. My mother came from the town of Sobolevka in the Vinnitsa province of Ukraine. My grandfather's name was Motel Trahtenberg and my grandmother's name was Genia. I was named after her. I don't know what my grandfather did for a living. I believe he was a craftsman like my grandfather Ioyl. Motel and Genia were born around 1860. From what my mother told me, I believe their family was rather religious. My mother used to say, 'they were like everybody else in the town.' This means that they went to synagogue once a week, followed the laws of kashrut, honored the Sabbath and celebrated all Jewish holidays. They lived a rather modest life, like my father's parents. My grandfather Motel died before the Revolution of 1917. My mother said it was a good thing that he didn't live to see what was happening in the town during the Revolution and the Civil War [1918-1921]: gangs 3, murder and Jewish pogroms. My mother and her sisters often hid in fields, sheds or haystacks waiting for the bandits to leave the town. My grandmother Genia wept and worried while hiding in town. She didn't know whether she would ever see her daughters again. She died in 1919.

My mother's oldest sister, Luba, was born in 1885. Luba, her husband and daughters Manya and Fira lived in Gaisin, Vinnitsa region. I don't know her husband's name. He died before the war. Because the Vinnitsa region was occupied from the first days of the war, Luba and her daughters couldn't go to the evacuation and had to stay in Gaisin, in the ghetto. During the war the Romanians were the masters of the Vinnitsa region, but they were very hard on Jews, demanding money and gold from them in exchange for their lives. Luba and Manya survived in the ghetto until the Soviet troops liberated them, but Fira died at the end of 1943, some time before liberation. Luba didn't live long after the war. She died in 1948. Manya and her family left for Israel in the early 1970s. I have no information about her present whereabouts.

My mother's younger sister Hontsia, born in 1905, finished elementary school in Sobolevka. Around 1930 she went to Moscow and entered the Pedagogical Institute. In Moscow she married a Russian man from Yaroslavl and moved to Yaroslavl with him. Her parents respected her choice and didn't have anything against this marriage. Hontsia was a primary school teacher. Her son Arkadiy lives in Yaroslavl. Hontsia died in the mid-1980s.

My mother had another sister, named Zlata. I don't know whether she was my mother's younger or older sister. We have a photograph of my mother with Hontsia and Zlata. I know that after she got married Zlata lived somewhere in the Vinnitsa region. During the war she and her children, along with other Jews of their town, were shot by the fascists. My mother was a reserved and tight-lipped woman. She never told me about them. It was probably emotionally too hard for her to talk about her sister. My mother also had a brother. His name was Iosif and he perished during the Civil War.

My mother was born in 1903. She finished her studies at the four-year Jewish elementary school and then probably studied with private teachers. My mother didn't have any certificates or diplomas, but she wrote very well in Russian and read a lot. I don't think my grandparents had other books besides religious ones at home. I guess my mother must have borrowed books from her friends or from the library.

Growing up

My parents met in Sobolevka around 1925 while my father was there on a business trip. There were quite a few sugar factories in Vinnitsa. Almost every town or village had one, and my father often visited there on business. There was also a sugar factory in Sobolevka. I don't know any details of my parents' meeting each other, but I know that they married in 1928. They had written letters to each other for three years and saw each other quite often. My father traveled to Sobolevka almost every month. They had a civil registration ceremony in Sobolevka. They didn't have a wedding party. The three of them just had dinner: my mother, father and Hontsia. There were no other relatives in Sobolevka left. My father had quit his job by then and they left for Kiev. They decided to begin a new life in a big city.

My parents rented two rooms in a house in Demeyevka [neighborhood in Kiev]. My father got a job as an accountant at the Krasny Rezinschik rubber plant. He worked there until the war began. In 1929 my older sister Eleonora (Ella) was born. My mother stayed at home in the first years of her marriage. She did the housework and looked after my sister. Ella was a weak and sickly child. In the early 1930s my father's sister Fania, her son and my grandmother Buzia came to live with us. By that time my father had purchased this apartment from his landlords. My parents and Ella lived in a smaller room and the bigger one was occupied by Fania and her son and my grandmother. Aunt Fania told me that they lived as a big family. The rooms were small and poorly furnished, and the family was not very wealthy. Only my father and Fania worked. There was a flower and kitchen garden near the house. My mother grew flowers and vegetables. Sometimes my father's brothers Boris and Veniamin visited us. Sometimes we visited them. We celebrated family holidays together, birthdays and anniversaries, and we celebrated state holidays like the 1st of May and October Revolution Day 4. These revolutionary holidays were days off and we had the table covered with a fancy tablecloth and there were lace coverlets on the armchairs. It made the atmosphere very bright and festive. My grandmother Buzia did complain that the family didn't celebrate Jewish holidays, but my parents held firmly against this and didn't give in. They even spoke Russian at home, and not their mother tongue, Yiddish. However, they respected my grandmother Buzia and her faith. She tried to keep traditions at home: she lit Sabbath candles in her room, celebrated Pesach and the main Jewish holidays and fasted at Yom Kippur. She didn't try to teach us Jewish traditions against our parents' will. We were young and didn't understand what she was doing; we even laughed at her sometimes.

I was born on August 20, 1937. My sister Ella went to school that same year. My Aunt Fania told me that I was born in a bad year. It was 1937, the year of arrests 5 and repression of innocent people. A few people were arrested at the factory where my father worked and he expected his own arrest every day. Fortunately, he survived the ordeal. I remember very little of my prewar childhood. I don't remember how the war began. My father wasn't recruited into the army. He had a white chit for his poor eyesight.

During the war

I have memories of the evacuation. We were in a long railroad car where there was no room to move. We evacuated in the summer of 1941 with the Krasny Rezinschik plant where my father worked. It was very hot. We were thirsty all the time. My mother and father took turns getting off the train at the stations to fetch us water. I fell ill with measles on the way. My mother was afraid that we would be ordered to get off the train due to this infectious disease, and she hid me behind the suitcases. Our trip lasted a long time. As we were crossing the Volga River on a barge my sister Ella fell into the water. She couldn't swim, but she managed to stay afloat on the surface until the sailors from the barge came to her rescue. She got pneumonia afterwards and didn't go to school for a year.

Our destination was Sverdlovsk. The employees of the plant and their families were accommodated in the barracks. My father, mother, my sister, Fania, grandmother and I shared one room. My father was an accountant at the plant. In 1942 he volunteered to go to the front. He had a very hard job. There were thefts at the plant and he was given forged papers for his signature. He didn't sign them. He began to be persecuted at work and one day he said to my mother: 'Rather than work with those swindlers I'll go to the front to defend my children.' In 1942 all men were recruited regardless of their health conditions. My father was shortsighted, but he was made a machine gun man. He wrote us several letters, but then no letters came in 1943 and at the end of the year we received notification of his death. I remember my mother, my grandmother and my sister crying. I didn't understand why they were crying. I couldn't understand the words 'perished' or 'died' at that time. This was the first death in my life, and I was just 6 years old.

Our life during the evacuation was very hard. After my father perished my mother went to work at the Krasny rezinschik plant. She worked at the shop where they made boots for the army. My sister went to school. After classes she worked at the plant packing shells into boxes. She received a worker's card for 400 grams of bread for her work. There was nothing Jewish in our life at that time. We were an ordinary Soviet family suffering from the horrors of war. I went to kindergarten. I stayed there six days a week and on Saturdays I was taken to stay overnight at home and was taken back to kindergarten on Sunday evenings. We had good meals there and I even looked plump, but I remember feeling constant hunger. I woke up hungry in the morning and I went to bed hungry in the evening. When my mother was coming back from work she passed my kindergarten. Sometimes mother managed to exchange some food at the plant's canteen for the boot blanks that she brought to me. Most often it was a whole bucket of vermicelli and something like butter in it. I was waiting for her with a spoon. I remember standing there looking for my mother. She came and sat me on the windowsill and I ate vermicelli from the bucket. It seemed so delicious to me.

In 1943, almost immediately after we received notification of my father's death, my grandmother died. I wasn't at the funeral and didn't see how she was buried. I don't think there was somebody to read the Jewish mourning prayer on her grave.

I remember Victory Day, May 9, 1945. My mother came to the kindergarten. She was kissing me, crying and laughing. I didn't understand why she was crying when she ought to have been merry and happy. We returned home with the plant in December 1945. We went back by freight train. Many families were returning to Kiev, but others stayed in Sverdlovsk. Kiev was in ruins. Many people had no place to live. Many houses were destroyed and many apartments were occupied by other people. Our apartment in Demeyevka was also occupied. Fania, whose son Victor had perished during the war, lived at my uncle Boris' apartment. We settled down in the hostel of the Krasny Rezinschik. We shared a 12 square meter room with another family, a woman and her two daughters. After the war my uncle Grigory sent us parcels from America containing incredible kapron stockings, shoes and coats for Ella and me. It often happened that our neighbors took away all the clothes while my mother was at work and Ella and I were at school. My mother sold some of the clothes. It was a big help for us. At that time a loaf of brown bread cost 100 rubles at the market.

Post-war

My sister wanted to get our apartment back. She submitted her appeal to the judge and she even wrote to Kaganovich 6. As a result, within two days we received one room of the two that we had before the war. The family of Kashmelyuks that had occupied our apartment continued to live in the other room. They lived there until they finished the construction of a small house not far from where we lived. We got along with this family. We all suffered from the war. Kashmelyuk's son was shot during the war. He was a partisan messenger and he was shot at Babi Yar. 7 After exterminating the Jewish population, the Germans shot communists, prisoners-of-war, partisans, etc., at Babi Yar.

My mother continued working at the plant, but fell ill with cancer in 1963. She died in 1964. My sister Ella entered the Faculty of Philology at Kiev State University in 1948. This was the last year that Jews were admitted to higher educational institutions. Upon graduation my sister went to work in the town of Kuzmina Greblia in the Cherkassy region. She worked there for many years as a teacher of Russian language and literature at the secondary school. She organized a folk choir and an amateur theater. She returned to Kiev in 1970. Eleonora wasn't married and had no children. She died from cancer in 1994.

After the war I studied at the Russian secondary school. I was a Soviet child, went to the May Day parades, collected paper wastes (this was a popular pioneer activity) and was a Komsomol 8 member. It wasn't that I liked it extremely, but it was the only life we knew, and we couldn't imagine a different life. Life around us was poor and miserable and there was no opportunity to change anything. We were assured that life was going to improve and that we only had to be patient. We didn't know that our leaders, their families and their children had a very different lifestyle with the abundance of everything one could dream of. In summer I went to pioneer camps near Kiev. I liked it there. We had lots of fun despite the strict discipline and lining up twice a day. We marched singing patriotic songs. In the first years at school we Jewish children didn't feel any prejudicial attitudes towards us. We were all children of war. Many of us lost our fathers to the war and many children lost their parents in Babi Yar. Our teachers sympathized with us. In the early 1950s during the outburst of anti-Semitic campaigns and during the period of the Doctors' Plot 9 my Uncle Veniamin was arrested and sent into exile. At this time, my history teacher's attitude towards me became abusive. He gave me lower marks and asked me questions that were beyond our school program to give me a '2'[this is almost the lowest grade]. I guess he knew that my uncle had been arrested and this explains his attitude towards me.

In 1953 Stalin died and people wept at the news. The director of our school came to our class with a mourning band on her arm. Classes were cancelled and all the children went outside wearing black armbands. Veniamin's sister Fania did not cry. She always believed Stalin to be guilty for the arrest and death of her brother.

After finishing school in 1954 I went to work as a laborer at the glass factory. I didn't even consider going to university. It was almost impossible for a Jew to enter the university. Besides, I wasn't very successful at school with my studies. In addition, we were very poor and I understood that I had to go to work to earn money. Later, I finished a course for radio operators and got a job at the military unit. I met Valeriy Ershov there. He was a sergeant, a Russian, a very nice and kind man. We fell in love and got married in 1961. Neither my parents nor Valeriy's relatives were opposed to our marrying. We loved each other and this was important to our families. We didn't have a wedding ceremony. We didn't even have wedding rings. In 1963 Aunt Fania, who was very ill, had a premonition of her approaching death and gave us some tsarist golden coins and we had wedding rings made from them. Valeriy came from Gorky. He was an only son. His father Sergey had perished at the front. His mother lived in Gorky. She was a nice, quiet woman. I got along well with her. We visited her several times and she came to see us. She died in Gorky in 1974. After finishing school Valeriy served in the army in Kiev and remained in the military after his term of service was over. He worked as an electrician at Kievenergo. We worked for over 25 years at this plant until it was closed in the 1990s. There was no financing and people were not paid for their work. We retired in 1992.

We have two sons. Yuri was born in 1963 and Sergey was born in 1967. Both of my sons had Russian as their nationality in their passports. It was the only possible way for them to have no obstacles in entering university. They both studied at the Ship-Building College and then enrolled in the Institute of Water Transport in Leningrad. They studied there by correspondence. They didn't finish their studies at the Institute. It was difficult to study by correspondence and they quit. Yuri works at the security guard company. He installs security alarm systems. Sergey is manager at a commercial company. Both of my sons married Russian girls. Yuri married Alyona and Sergey married Oksana. Yuri divorced Alyona a few years ago. They have two children: Andrei, born in 1985 and Valentin, born in 1986. Sergey Egor was born in 1995.

We didn't celebrate Jewish holidays in our family before or after the war. Neither did we have any discussions about our Jewish roots. We never had matzah at home - we were growing up as Soviet children. Therefore, I'm pleasantly surprised that my children, who grew up in mixed families, identify themselves as Jews, although their nationality is written as Russian. Yuri and Sergey both go to synagogue. One day in the 1990s they told us that they had an urge to come back to their Jewish roots. I don't know how they came to this decision. Perhaps, some of their friends practiced religion and influenced them, or perhaps they came to it by themselves. They contribute money to the poor and celebrate Jewish holidays. They are not religious people, but they are trying to restore Jewish traditions in their homes. My older grandson Andrei studied in Israel. His mother insisted on his return recently. She was terrified for her child to stay in a country where terrorist attacks have become routine and where innocent children are targeted for death. Our sons insisted that our family obtain all the necessary documents for emigration to Israel. We did that. But we have delayed our departure for that country, which is actually in a state of war. However, our children do not give up their hope to move to Israel one day. They study Hebrew and attend classes in the Sochnut. We hope that we shall be able to go to Israel soon. We hope that peace will descend upon that country and that we shall be able to move there and not be afraid for our lives and the lives of our children. My husband and I would prefer not to have to emigrate, but as we can't imagine a life far away from our children and grandchildren, whatever our children decide to do, we shall stay with them.

My husband and I are now retired. We are often ill and stay at home. We look after our grandchildren. Sometimes our friends visit us for a cup of tea. We receive a very small pension. Our children and Hesed help us financially. We also receive food packages from Hesed which are very sufficient support for us.

Glossary

1 Famine in Ukraine

In 1920 a deliberate famine was introduced in the Ukraine causing the death of millions of people. It was arranged in order to suppress those protesting peasants who did not want to join the collective farms. There was another dreadful deliberate famine in 1930-1934 in the Ukraine. The authorities took away the last food products from the peasants. People were dying in the streets, whole villages became deserted. The authorities arranged this specifically to suppress the rebellious peasants who did not want to accept Soviet power and join collective farms.

2 Torgsin stores

These shops were created in the 1920s to support commerce with foreigners. One could buy good quality food products and clothing in exchange for gold and antiquities in such shops.

3 Gangs

During the civil war in 1918-1920 there were all kinds of gangs in the Ukraine. Their members came from all the classes of former Russia, but most of them were peasants. Their leaders used political slogans to dress their criminal acts. These gangs were anti-Soviet and anti-Semitic. They killed Jews and burnt their houses, they robbed their houses, raped women and killed children.

4 October Revolution Day

October 25 (according to the old calendar), 1917 went down in history as victory day for the Great October Socialist Revolution in Russia. This day is the most significant date in the history of the USSR. Today the anniversary is celebrated as 'Day of Accord and Reconciliation' on November 7.

5 Arrests in the 1930s

In the mid-1930s Stalin launched a major campaign of political terror. The purges, arrests, and deportations to labor camps affected virtually every family. Untold numbers of party, industrial, and military leaders disappeared during the "Great Terror". Indeed, between 1934 and 1938, two-thirds of the members of the 1934 Central Committee were sentenced and executed.

6 Kaganovich, Lazar (1893-1991)

Soviet Communist leader. A Jewish shoemaker and labor organizer, he joined the Communist Party in 1911. He rose quickly through the party ranks and by 1930 he had become Moscow party secretary-general and a member of the Politburo. He was an influential proponent of forced collectivization and played a role in the purges of 1936-38. He was known for his ruthless and merciless personality. He became commissar for transportation (1935) and after the purges was responsible for heavy industrial policy in the Soviet Union. In 1957, he joined in an unsuccessful attempt to oust Khrushchev and was stripped of all his posts.

7 Babi Yar

Babi Yar is the site of the first mass shooting of Jews that was carried out openly by fascists on 29th and 30th September 1941, in Kiev. During three years of occupation (1941-1943) fascists were killing thousands of people at Babi Yar every day: communists, partisans, and prisoners of war. They were people of different nationalities.

8 Komsomol

Communist youth organization created by the Communist Party to make sure that the state would be in control of the ideological upbringing and spiritual development of young people until they were almost 30.

9 Doctors' Plot

The so-called Doctors' Plot was a set of accusations deliberately forged by Stalin's government and the KGB against Jewish doctors in the Kremlin hospital charging them with the murder of outstanding Bolsheviks. The Plot was started in 1952, but was never finished because Stalin died in 1953.

Janina Duda

Interviewer: Marta Cobel–Tokarska
Date of interview: September 2004 – January 2005

Ms. Duda lives alone, in a large apartment in Mokotow, an elegant district of Warsaw. She is a very energetic person, but quite reserved. When I met with her several times, I had a feeling she was not being completely open with me. She did not want to talk about some of the facts in her life, while she described others in a very vague manner. Although Ms. Duda has an excellent memory (especially for names), her story is sometimes unclear, her sentences are unfinished.

My grandfather, my mother’s father, Noter Lapidus, was a well known person in Bialystok [200 km east of Warsaw]. He lived on Fabryczna Street 5. His apartment was quite large. He worked in the Tryling company. It’s a textile company. I don’t know what he did exactly, but until the end of his life he received 5 zloty a month. The owners of this Tryling company were probably Grandfather’s distant family. And they took on this obligation to send him money. It wasn’t very much. Practically nothing. Before the war, for example, a teacher or a policeman used to make about 180 zloty a month. And this was 5 zloty a month… It was nothing.

The Lapidus family was a very well known family in Bialystok, a bourgeois-intelligentsia family. Many physicians, members of free professions [that is, they graduated, had higher education]. There were no special signs of piety at Grandfather’s house. I only remember a large portrait, or rather a collection of photographs: Grandfather and all his children. And a portrait, you could have hung it in some nobleman’s house, it would have fit there perfectly. They observed traditions, the basic religious forms, but there were no visible signs. They all dressed normally.

Grandfather was married to a woman from the Kanel family. I remember the early 1920s when, as a little child, I was sitting on my father’s shoulders and I witnessed the death of my grandmother, whom I don’t remember, I don’t even know what her name was. But I do remember that Grandmother was a malicious old woman, she hated my mother, like a typical mother-in-law. And what was my mother to do? She simply hated Grandmother.

I didn’t know Grandfather’s siblings, but I did know Grandmother’s. She had a brother, who was a wealthy man, he operated a textile company, textile warehouses. This was in downtown Bialystok; on the corner of Sienkiewicza Street next to Bialka [Biala river]. And this was the only brother. I don’t remember what his name was. Grandmother’s brother’s son was a pediatrician, his wife was an optometrist, and they had a daughter named Natasza.

Natasza’s brother-in-law survived the war, he lives in Warsaw until this day… I mean he used to live there, because I doubt he’s still alive. I have his name, Zlatin Szymanski. We met in Warsaw once, he visited me, we talked. I asked him how he managed to survive and he said that he left the ghetto in Bialystok 1 and went to the countryside and survived, just like that. He spoke perfect Polish, he didn’t wear sidelocks, he was a completely secular person. However, his entire family died.

In 1933 when I was in Bialystok – Grandfather was still alive – I always had to drink some vodka with him. He died several years later, before the war. He lived to be 94 years. A fantastic guy. He said he married Grandmother, because the match had been made, but he was in love with a different woman, he liked the other one more, but then the kids were born… Grandpa was such a great guy!

My other grandmother, Father’s mother, was Sara Perelmut. Her maiden name was Bortner. I remember Grandmother wore a wig. She wrote beautifully in Russian. [Editor’s note: On lands under Russian partition 2 the local residents used, depending on their nationality, Polish, Yiddish and Ukrainian; knowledge of Russian was also common.] These Jewish families paid a lot of attention to education. It’s a Jewish trait, after all. When you talk about Jews, you say they’re clever, talented, intelligent – it is so, but, after all, that’s two thousand years of learning. A habit of learning. And you can see that pays off, from generation to generation. I didn’t know Grandfather Perelmut. I know nothing about him. Not even his first name…

One part of the Bortner family lived in Warsaw and the second part in Lodz [130 km south west of Warsaw]. One of these Bortner cousins from Warsaw was in the Red Army, he fought in the Stalingrad battle 3; he later returned home [to Poland] as an officer. He changed his last name to Tagori. He was a lieutenant colonel and got married in Lublin to a Polish woman, Zosia, a very pretty girl. In 1948 he left for Israel with his wife, as part of Haganah 3, ‘the fight for Israel.’ These are interesting things, how people’s fates become twisted. He took part in the battle for Haifa. He sent me, in Hebrew, of course, so I can’t read it, a story about his heroic deeds [published in 1954 in the newspaper ’Ha-Mekaped’ in Israel].

They later left Israel and broke up. He went to Paris. Although he was a musician, a saxophonist, a composer, in the military, there he switched to construction work, renovations, because that was very profitable. And he made it. He bought a castle near Nice and the title of baron. He married a French woman, Denise. They had two children. But he’s dead by now.  

Father’s name was Lejb, Lejb Perelmut. I don’t know when he was born. And the same with Mother, I don’t know. You can see what Father looked like in the photographs: mustache, blond hair, he was an ordinary man, he dressed normally.

My first childhood memories are of Fabryczna 35 in Bialystok, the four-room apartment on the 1st floor. It was a detached house, but one room was taken up by a large weaving loom, where Father worked at home. My toys were rags from that weaving loom. Later, Father became an accountant. How this happened, I don’t know. He wrote beautifully, he kept books normally. Anyway, the tax police would go around and check if you weren’t cheating in your accounting. I remember Father got busted once and had to give a bribe.

I remember that, as a child, when I was being naughty, Father wanted to beat me with a towel. And in Bialystok there was this garden in front of the house, with flowers and lilacs. There was a Persian lilac, very dark, it was a tree. When my Father chased me, I’d climb up on that tree. There was a seat there, so I’d sit, dangle my legs and just wave at Father. Or I’d hide under the bed, so he wouldn’t be able to catch me. And I remember this one time, I must have been very small then, when Father carried me home from Grandfather’s house. I remember that. I sat on his shoulders and he carried me. Oh, God, Father was such a good man as well.

Mother’s first name was Estera, her maiden name was Lapidus. Estera, but at home, among family, she was called Esfir, from Russian 5. Mother stayed at home, she was a housewife. She was a very intelligent, wise woman. When I remember my adolescence and my behavior and Mother’s calmness among all this, she never reproached me, I’m at a loss for words about her wisdom. Because I know what I did and how I stirred things up. She was very tolerant. I don’t know how she could have been so tolerant to me. I wouldn’t have been able to be like that.

In some ways I resemble my mother, my nose, hair color – Mother was also a dark blonde. Father was almost white, he had very fair hair and I don’t know how it was that my sister Dina was red haired. Mother attended a Russian gymnasium [lyceum], I don’t know if she ever graduated. And she was a bit involved in political activity in her youth. Once she told me how she even transported guns from Warsaw to Bialystok in her youth. [Editor’s note: the sister of Mrs. Duda’s mother, Bluma, was involved in a Russian revolutionary group, it is possible that Mrs. Duda’s mother helped her.]

Yes, mother was a bit different from the rest of the family. She was also very considerate to Father. Once, this was already in Lublin [in the 1930s], Father was nervous, he had lost his job, there were bankruptcies and he’d sometimes raise his voice at Mother… And I remember I’d say to her, ‘Mommy, why don’t you talk back to Father?’ And she’d say, ‘And who is this poor Jew supposed to talk to?’ So – I am the wife, I have to understand him and help him in this situation. Father and Mother died in Bialystok – during the Holocaust. I don’t know if they died of hunger, or how else. 

Mother had many siblings. First her sister Bluma, whom, of course, I never knew. I was named Bluma after her. [Editor’s note: One of the most common practices is to name a child to honor a relative. Sephardic Jews name their children freely after both living and deceased relatives. However, Ashkenazim rarely name children after living relatives.] In 1905, after the revolution 6 she was dragged out of her home, Grandfather’s apartment, Fabryczna 5. And they shot her in front of the house.

One brother studied painting in Petersburg. I don’t know what his name was. There was one more Lapidus brother. He was married to a widow of a Siberian [a man deported by authorities to Siberia], he was the father of a son named Moszek and he had a stepson, whose last name was Lubnicki. This Lubnicki later became a professor and taught philosophy at Maria Curie-Sklodowska University in Lublin.

Then there were also the sisters, Berta [Jewish name] or Basia [Russian name] and Emma Domeradzka, and then Anna Wolfson. That’s the one at whose house I stayed in Bialystok [in 1935] and who helped me. And one more sister: Zlata [Russian name] or Zina [Jewish name]. Her last name, after she got married, was Mroczkowska. Those were all the sisters.

Father’s family came from Brest [200 km east of Warsaw]. They were more of a working class family. They all worked in the textile industry. In 1920, when there was a revolutionary committee in Bialystok [cf. Polish-Soviet War (1919-21)] 7 the three of them, two of Father’s sisters and the youngest brother left for Russia with the Red Army [in 1920]. This youngest brother’s name was Filip. He died in the battle of Kursk 8 in 1941. His son Aron lived in Minsk, in Belarus.

My aunts, father’s sisters were Genowefa, Fela, Ania and Mania. Mania married Naum Pinski. Ania’s husband was Natan Lapidus. Natan also fought the Germans, as a senior lieutenant. He fought like the entire family did. None of them are alive. I met them in 1941, when Belarus was under Russian [Soviet] occupation. That was when Father went to see his family, whom he hadn’t seen for so many years. He was the oldest. And I also went there, to Russia [the Soviet Union], right before the war. And that was when I met one aunt, the second one, both are dead now, and my uncle Filip, who was in love with the Soviet Union. They all worked.

There were no losses in the family, because of Stalin’s regime [nobody died during the Holocaust]. And he explained to me that he had a job, that he appreciated how they cared for workers, how they cared for people. When I got there, the first thing he did was show me Lenin, there in that mausoleum [Red Square, Moscow, the present stone mausoleum was built in 1929-1930, architect: A.V.Shchusev], then we went to see the Soviet officer’s house, which was a very beautiful building [Editor’s note: probably this building is a simple lodging house for state officers]. And he showed me Moscow.

The oldest of Father’s sisters, Genowefa, whom my father married off, gave her a dowry, well, Genowefa and her husband died in the Holocaust.

And Father had one more sister. That was yet another branch of our family in Lublin. This sister’s name was Fela. Fela married a Goldberg. And my father had the brother in Bialystok, who was a weaver, he was very poor. But I wasn’t in touch with them: with Aunt Fela or this uncle from Bialystok. I was simply young, full of myself, and so on. I was closer to Mother’s family, because of the age of the children, my cousins. But all the family of my Mother died. I don’t know, I guess they didn’t have any support of friends from Polish families.

After the war, in the 1990s, a meeting was organized on the occasion of the anniversary of the creation of the Bialystok ghetto and I went there. And I have to admit that most of the Jews present there survived thanks to the help of Polish peasants, among whom they practically used to live and were only moved by the Germans during the occupation to the ghetto in Bialystok. And when it came to life or death, they chose to run away back to those villages and they managed to survive there. But I didn’t meet any natives of Bialystok. They simply didn’t have any contacts with the countryside.

I don’t remember Father ever going somewhere to pray in Bialystok. Perhaps he did… sometimes he used to pray at home, he’d put on a white tallit and he’d put on teffilin. And in Lublin, because we lived in a house where there were many Jews, sometimes there’d be prayer meetings in our apartment. Some ten men would get together and pray together. Father felt very honored when this prayer meeting took place in his apartment. That was when we, the kids, were put in the kitchen and, to spite the adults, we’d buy ourselves pieces of sausage [pork] on Yom Kippur, as a sign of protest, because young people are always rebelling. And if Father used to go to a synagogue, if he had a tefillin or whether he just carried something else under his arm, I don’t know, I simply didn’t pay much attention to those things then.

The first time I saw a synagogue was in Warsaw, the reconstructed Nozyk synagogue 9. I simply never went to synagogues before that time. Perhaps because less attention was paid to the religious education of women. [Editor’s note: it is improbable that lack of Mrs. Duda’s religious education was due to generally less attention paid to the religious education of women. Mostly it depended on Mrs. Duda’s family’s decision, but it is also possible that she simply doesn’t remember well.] It was enough for a woman to behave appropriately, be a good wife, mother, and that was it, wasn’t it? But in that family circle there was complete separation of religion, religious behavior from normal [everyday] life.

And Mother’s family was also, in a sense, assimilated. All the sisters, although they had Jewish names, used different names in everyday life. They were very Russified. Perhaps because they attended Russian schools. This community was different from those Hasidim 10, with sidelocks, deep in prayer, dancing etc. Those were secular people, who abided by the rules of their religion, but other than that, it has to be said, they assimilated.

But I do have to say that candles were lit on Friday, mother prayed over the candles. I remember it as if it was today, I have an excellent visual memory: the table, a white tablecloth, candlesticks, candles. Easter [Pesach] holidays were the same. There was seder, so I said, ‘Ba ladem alisztama halajla haze’ [‘Mah nishtana ha-lailah ha-zeh mi-kol ha-leilot?’: ‘Why is this night  different from other nights?’, first question at seder], because there were three girls in our family and the youngest one was too small. [Editor’s note: the four questions are traditionally asked by the youngest child.] Mother made cake for the holidays and I licked the bowls clean. This was in the period when Father worked, there was money at home, so Mother baked cakes for holidays… Yes, all holidays. We celebrated all of them at home.

I was Mother’s oldest child. I was born in 1918, in Bialystok. But I was really the middle child at home because Father was a widower. His first wife died during childbirth. So I had an older stepsister, Fania. I didn’t know about this for a long time, until I was seventeen, because Mother didn’t tell us that Fania wasn’t her daughter. Fania was eight years older than I, so she was born in 1910. And Dina, the youngest, was born in 1926. I was there when she was born, I handed the towel to the doctor. She was born at home. Doctor Sokolowski attended the birth; he was my mother’s cousin, from the Kanel family. 

My sister Fania graduated from gymnasium, she passed her final exam at Szperowa’s in Lublin. And Dina – we called her Dinka – attended Druskin’s gymnasium in Bialystok. Then Fania got married. Her sweetheart, Gorzyczanski, left somewhere and she married his friend – Mosze Rojtman. She had a daughter. When my parents left for Bialystok in 1937, she and her husband moved into their apartment in Lublin. Later, I got them to come to Bialystok. They all died, like the entire family, in Bialystok, in the ghetto.

Bialystok was a half-Jewish town. Industry was mostly in Jewish hands, although I have to say that Mr. Komorowski [Mrs. Duda actually means Ryszard Kaczorowski (born 1919): Polish politician, after WWII emigrated to Great Britain. 1986-1989 minister of national affairs in the Polish government in exile; 1989-1991 President of the Republic of Poland in exile; cf. president-in-exile 11] was a former accountant in one of the factories in Bialystok. I knew many Jewish workers, I remember these Bialystok factories, the rags would stink so you could smell it from a long distance… because since the middle of the 19th century Bialystok specialized in the production of materials from rags, from wastes. There were piles of waste in front of the factories, the workers sorted them and then they would be processed. These products were later sent to Far East markets, Manchuria, so even to China.

Our apartment on Fabryczna Street 35 was close to Grandfather Lapidus’s apartment. Some Germans, the Schmidts and the Stebbes, lived nearby. There was this boy, Hans Schmidt, we all played together. My parents told me that during World War I, Germans gave the Schmidts flour for baking bread and the Schmidts gave that flour to their neighbors, it didn’t matter to them if they were Jewish or Polish, they gave it to everyone. There were Russian children there, Polish and Tatar children, a real hotchpotch. Grandma Sara Perelmut, father’s mother, lived on Ciepla Street, in a kind of garret. And a Tatar family lived on the first floor. So they celebrated Friday, because the holy day of the Muslims is Friday. And Grandmother, of course, celebrated Saturday. So, in one word, there was this conglomerate of faiths, cultures, but it didn’t matter for the kids. All the kids played together and I really didn’t feel strange in that crowd of kids. 

I’d like to say a few good words about the owners of the house where we lived in Bialystok. They were from the local gentry of Podlasie, the Rozycki family. I remember how once, when I was sick with measles or some other childhood illness, this Mr. Rozycki took some apples from the garden and gave them to Mother, so I’d have something to eat when I was sick. My parents told me that when Haller came to Bialystok with his army 12 and they were looking for Jews, this Rozycki hid all his Jewish tenants in his basement and hung crosses in their apartments. He saved them from disgrace, because you can’t say what would have happened, death or disgrace.

And the neighbors, I remember, later on there was the Cukier family... They left for Italy [before the war]. They lived on the second floor. And right next door there was a Polish family, the family of a Latin teacher, who was also, I think, an employee of the political police. And there was this girl there, Wanda Strzelecka. I visited all these local manors with her [relatives of the Strzelecki family, who lived in the countryside], because we played together and grew up together.

When we moved to Lublin with my parents it was 1928 or 1929. We moved, because Father got a job there. They gave him a store to run in Lublin with textiles from Bialystok. He’d share this with another man, his name was Brawerman. So my parents packed us and took us to Lublin.

In Lublin we lived in a very poor area, Jewish-Polish, no, Polish-Jewish, next to the Castle. [Editor’s note: The block of streets at the base of the castle hill, which before 1939 was the center of the Jewish district, was pulled down by the Germans after the liquidation of the Lublin ghetto in 1942. In the castle a prison was located until 1954.] There were many Poles in the house where I lived. Policemen, with whom I was great friends; when they arrested me [in 1937], then my neighbor would bring me apples and rolls, hiding them under his coat.

We lived in Szif’s [the owner of the tenement house, a Jew] house, the address was Lubartowska 61, corner of Unicka, on the 3rd floor. We had a nice apartment, two rooms and a kitchen, arranged one behind another. I remember, there was a cupboard there. An antique, early 19th century cupboard, with these twisted little pillars, but the woodworms would eat it up. When Mother was getting married she got it from her grandparents, as part of her dowry. It was my job to varnish it for the Easter [Pesach] holidays and clog up those holes from the woodworms, to save the cupboard. The caretaker, who sometimes came round, used to say to my mother, ‘Mrs. Perelmut, this cupboard is just like at Pilsudski’s 13!’

And in that house there was just one privy in the backyard. It was something horrible. In the winter, when everything was frozen up, you could stand it, but in the summertime it was just horrid. Another thing, there were lots of cockroaches there. In our kitchen there was a chest, where the servant would have slept in normal [wealthier] houses. And in these other houses, like ours, we stored potatoes for the winter in these chests.

Wood was used for cooking in the kitchen, because it was a wood stove, not some electric or gas stove, a normal stove for wood and coal, which I had to carry from the basement very often. And from time to time, each week, a huge pot of water would be boiled to blanch everything because of the insects. It was difficult to avoid them, because it was a large house, so when the bugs survived in one apartment, they would pass through some holes in the walls. These houses were made of bricks and there were also many [bugs] in those bricks. When it came to bedbugs, they could somehow be combated, it was easier, but I remember that in the kitchen it was just horrid. And we got used to it. You’d blanch with boiling water, sweep the bugs, burn them and that was it.

Lublin was a whole different world. In Bialystok you wouldn’t feel the pressure of religion, there was freedom. But Lublin had a different atmosphere, one I wasn’t used to. It was there that I saw for the first time these, as they are called in Poland, ‘chalats’ [Hasidim]. I walked around in my high school cap, with a large visor and they pointed at me in the street. Pointed at me with their fingers, because I was wearing that cap. A girl? With such a visor? I didn’t see that at all in Bialystok. All the rules were observed in Bialystok, it was kosher, there was boiling, blanching, different pots [for dairy and for meat], everything was observed. But they wouldn’t overdo it. And in Lublin it was different.

I started going to school when I was six years old. The school was Gutman’s gymnasium [lyceum] in Bialystok. I even remember how we exercised standing on the desks. And one girl peed on that desk, she couldn’t stand it, we were laughing so hard. This school system looked like this then [in the 1920s]: a sub-elementary level, then elementary, then eight grades of gymnasium and the 8th one was the one when you took final exams. So there were ten years of schooling in total before the final exams. Then, in the 1930s, this system was changed, but it’s hard for me to say what it looked like later. So when we came to Lublin there was this issue of what to do with my education. I was then ten or eleven years old. It was in the middle of the school year, so probably I’d have to repeat a grade, I don’t remember which one, 2nd or 3rd grade of gymnasium. 

Well, and you’d have to pay for that. So it was decided that I’d go to a public school. And I went to a school, whose principal was Mrs. Mandelkernowa. It was a very good school, on Lubartowska Street. When I graduated from this school I went to a humanities gymnasium in Lublin. It was also a gymnasium, where nothing was taught about Jewry. There were public gymnasia in Lublin, government officials, officers sent their children there. Wealthier people, who could afford to pay, rather wealthy. Jews also attended these gymnasia, but there were very few. These were also private gymnasia, Polish ones, and many Jews attended them, for example Czarniecka’s gymnasium or Arciszowa’s gymnasium for girls, Staszic for boys. And there were two Jewish gymnasia [in Lublin]: Szperowa’s, where my sister went, and the humanities gymnasium which was operated by some Jewish association, it wasn’t a private school, so it was less expensive.

I studied a lot of Latin then, a lot of history, the standards were indeed quite high. I also took French then. It was an obligatory foreign language and, I have to say, these basics which I learned at school were very solid, I can still speak French fluently. But I didn’t get my diploma then. Father was unemployed, you then had to pay for tutors, to be well prepared for the finals. So I decided: I can’t take the finals, because I don’t have enough money. I told Mother and Father. Especially Father was very saddened. He used to say, ‘My children, my daughters, what can I leave you but an education.’ At that time you wouldn’t say ‘Dad’, but ‘Papa’. So I would answer, ‘Papa, but all I do is sit on the other side of the door [the pupil that could not participate in the lessons without paying tuition sat in the hallway, on the other side of the classroom door, where she could at least hear the lessons], you have to pay for everything and you don’t have the money for that.’ And I explained, ‘I will still have time to study if I want to.’ And I did go to university after the war, without any problems.

But then, instead of taking the finals, I went to Bialystok, to my aunt Anna Wolfson. I stayed with Grandfather, my aunt paid for my schooling, 300 zloty [probably for a semester; 300 zloty was in this time the rent for a good three bedroom apartment in Lodz] I learned corsetry. I’d come back after work, I was maybe 15 then, and my aunt would serve me dinner. There was a white napkin, a white plate, knife, fork, all very nice. And then I went back to Lublin.

And at the same time [when Mrs. Duda was still attending gymnasium] Father sent me to the neighbor’s to study Hebrew. Why? Father wasn’t a Hasid, he wasn’t Orthodox, he was a normal secular person and he thought that a girl should primarily study. And you could only study in a normal [secular] school. But he wanted me to know some Hebrew, so he sent me to these lessons. This family really influenced my fate, and my sister’s too. This was the Gorzyczanski family; he wore a ‘chalat,’ but he was a teacher; a very delicate, cultured man. Well, I took Hebrew lessons for about two years.

Unfortunately, all that I still have in my head are the first words [letters] of the alphabet. Some words I remember, because I spoke Yiddish at home. There are many Hebrew words in this German dialect [Yiddish] which I learned and I remember them very well. But when I was in Israel, I couldn’t understand a word they were saying, so I am full of respect for all my friends who left and taught themselves [Hebrew]. But later, when I was learning German, I had to cut myself off from this dialect [Yiddish], because otherwise I would have never been able to learn German.

Since the very beginning, since I was a little girl, I was very interested in sports. Perhaps I had a lot of energy and needed an outlet? There was no way to let this energy out at home, in those two rooms, so I joined the Ha-Koach sports club in Lublin. This club was a part of Maccabi 14, a large Jewish sports organization. I played volleyball, basketball, did some discus throwing, shot put, but I was too short for that, I was only 1 meter 60 tall. I mean then, at that time, I was somewhat in the middle, now I’d be a midget compared to girls like Otylia [Otylia Jedrzejczak, Polish Olympic champion in swimming in 2004], who is 1 meter 85. Anyway, nowadays sport has a different character. Then, it was purely amateur. I played ping-pong. I would sometimes leave for practice, get half a loaf of bread from somewhere and a bag of apples, eat that from morning until night and spend the entire day on the field… In 1936 I went to a sports camp organized by Maccabi.

This period meant a lot to me. I had an outlet for my energy; secondly, I had fun, I liked sports, I liked games. We’d meet on the Unia playing field in Lublin. It was a sports club. There was also the Strzelec sports club. I remember a volleyball match with the Unia girls. And the boys, Poles from Unia, threw us high up in the air, because they were so glad we showed those girls who were so stuck up. There were no differences then [between Jewish and Polish youth]. I had an admirer, he belonged to a corporation [Corporations] 15 – at KUL [Katolicki Uniwersytet Lubelski, ‘Catholic University of Lublin’]. He had two friends; all three of them wore corporation caps. When I went out with one of them, then my friends would be amazed – how could I? With a boy from a corporation?

And this corporation boy came to Ha-Koach with me, played ping-pong with me, we went dancing at the Jewish students’ club on Lubartowska Street in Lublin. So these divisions [contemporary separation of the pre-war Jewish and Polish worlds] that some people want to create now artificially, didn’t really exist. Although there was anti-Semitism, without a doubt – but how should I put it, I didn’t even feel it. We’d often go swimming in the Wieprz [river near Lublin]. There was Maniek Wojcicki, he was a boxer, also a buddy of mine; he died in Majdanek 16. I remember how he once jumped into a very muddy pond to bring me some lilies… There was another friend, Zygmunt Krolak, he went off to serve in the military, in the navy, and he died, in the navy. This corporation boy, Henryk Zajaczkowski, he also died in Majdanek. Yes, these are all memories of my youth, really very… beautiful.

I also had a fiancé, an official one, because his father and my father had already arranged our wedding, but it was love. He was one of the handsomest, most beautiful Jewish boys in Lublin, Wiktor Szwed. His mother wasn’t very keen on me becoming her daughter-in-law, because I was a poor girl. But his daddy thought that I could earn money, work, and he liked me.

Wiktor practiced sports at Ha-Koach as well and I remember this funny story. Our friend, his last name was Wojcik, had a weaving loom at home. And he made some textiles. And we ordered bathing suits from him. He made them for us on his weaving machine. The swimming pool on Czechowskie lake was opened in Lublin at that time. When we jumped into the water, his underwear, excuse my language, stretched all the way down to his knees, because it was made from some poor yarn…

In the summer we would not go on vacation together. Father would send Mother and my little sister near Lublin, in the direction of Lubartow, there was a large village called Niemce there. And I stayed at home. I couldn’t even cook potatoes. This boyfriend of mine, Wiktor, used to cook potatoes for me. I didn’t know if I was supposed to add salt or sugar. But it so happened that in 1937 I had to break off the engagement, because I ended up in jail myself and I didn’t know what would happen later. His parents really wanted him to marry rich, because they had a glove workshop and they weren’t doing very well. I understood the situation and, through Mother, I passed the news to him that he was free.

And how did it happen that I ended up in jail? Long story. When I was twelve, in Lublin, I was influenced by others to join this Zionist organization Hashomer Haleumi 17. It was supposedly a religious organization, but I didn’t feel it. But the family of this Hebrew teacher, Gorzyczanski, they influenced me, especially their daughter Malka. So I dropped out of Hashomer Haleumi and I became involved with communist youth. Why? Mother made some food and took me with her to Ruska Street, to some old, sick people who lived there, sleeping in holes in the ground. This shocked me. So I thought: these dreams of our own state, kibbutzim, that’s a beautiful thing. But who will help these people from day to day? This system has to be changed.

This was a basic problem: should we look for a future for the [Jewish] nation in Palestine, even though there was no talk then of getting land there to form this state. Even as young people we knew this was necessary, but there were no possibilities, it was a utopia then. So I liked the fact that here we could all change our fate. And that was what attracted me, not some Marx. [Marx, Karl (1818-1883), German philosopher, economist and revolutionary. The system of beliefs he created was the basis of the ideology of socialist and communist parties.] All I knew about Marx was that he had a beard. Really, you do have to be a complete idiot to convince young, 17 or 18-year-olds that they’re Marxists. It’s just some idea of social justice. The fact that I went to school hungry, that I sat on the other side of the door, because my tuition wasn’t paid… All that influenced me. This is why I became involved with communist youth and then with socialist youth in Lublin, with TUR [Towarzystwo Uniwersytetu Robotniczego] 18. And these last few years before the war, between 1935 and 1937, I was very active in TUR. When they told me to distribute leaflets, that’s what I did and… nothing more.

I met fantastic, young working class people in TUR, especially from 1 Maja Street. A group of students from KUL directed TUR at that time. There was Feliks Baranowski, later the ambassador of Poland in Germany, in the GDR, the minister of education, Jozef Kwiecinski, who was in Anders’ Army 19, sailed on a battleship and drowned when he was leaving Iran for England. There was Stanislaw Krzykala, after the war a professor of history at Maria Curie-Sklodowska University. Is it strange that there were students from a Catholic university in a leftist organization? Well, but there was only one university in Lublin – the Catholic University of Lublin.

There were different student groups there. There were student corporations influenced both by Sanacja 20 and ‘endecja’ [Endeks] 21 and socialist groups. TUR was a group of socialist students, mostly sons and daughters of railroad workers from Lublin. When we organized some events, for example ‘no more war,’ we were afraid that police agents would spy on us. So the mothers of these students made sure strangers wouldn’t come up to us.

Communist youth and TUR were very close in Lublin. They took advantage of the fact that TUR was legal. I remember the pavement-makers’ strike. The trade union of pavement-makers had a place, where they had a ping-pong table. Felek [short for Feliks] Baranowski and I played ping-pong there, but I used to go there with a pan of food for the pavement-makers. We brought food for those who were on strike. I also remember how, during 1st May demonstrations, students from the most radical corporation waited for us, for the TUR demonstration, with clubs, ready to beat us. So we brought clubs as well, to fight back. There were many Jews in TUR. There weren’t any problems. We were all Polish citizens. That’s how it was in TUR in Lublin.

And I was accused in the trial of TUR in Lublin. Accused of communism. They were playing a bigger game, the supervisor of the school district Mr. Lewicki and the Polish authorities, which were becoming pro-fascist after 1935. He was connected with the supporters of Pilsudski, with Sanacja and also had PPS 22 roots. So his daughter, Wanda Lewicka, was accused of communism. So what this was all about, speaking in plain terms, harassing this Lewicki and his family. 

When TUR was dissolved, PPS protested – you have no right! So TUR was reopened, but the entire board was put in jail, including some of the young people who could be accused of communism. And this is how I ended up in the so-called ‘Trial of 40’ in Lublin [one of the numerous so-called show trials]. To make this trial more communist, they dragged in from Bereza Kartuska [presently in Belarus, 300 km east of Warsaw] where in 1934 the Polish government created an isolation camp for prisoners, primarily political, Franciszek Jozwiak, pseudonym Witold, who was the chief of staff of the AL 23 during the war and later the commander of militia.

I have to say that this entire indictment, at least to the extent that it concerned me, was not true. All the accusations were fictitious. They just took three boys, Okonowski, Durakiewicz and one more guy and they signed a declaration; they signed everything that the police gave them. This is how the indictment was drafted and there wasn’t a word of truth in it. And there were sentences. I finally got four years, just like others from TUR. [Mrs. Duda was in jail from 1937 until the day of the commencement of WWII, 1st September 1939.]

Before they put me in jail, there was a trial. I have one funny story to tell that describes what it looked like. Right before my arrest there was supposed to be a sports competition in Lodz. And I was sent out there. All I had with me was a blouse, two pairs of shorts and tennis shoes. I think it was a volleyball match. So I got to Lodz, went to my aunt’s and it turned out there was no match. Suddenly, my aunt received a letter that the police were looking for me. And I didn’t have anything more to do there, so I went to Bialystok although my family lived in Lublin. And that’s where they arrested me.

A childhood friend, Kola [short for Mikolaj], was an undercover cop. When he saw me he said, ‘What the hell are you doing here?’ At the trial one of the charges was that I ran away in a hurry, because I only took some underwear and a blouse. That’s what it was like. Now people say that the UBP 24 did this or that – well, there has never been a police force that would have clean hands and would be able to say ‘we are all right.’

God, there was also a charge in the indictment that in 1936, when they announced an amnesty for political prisoners, I organized a party for those who were freed. I, an 18-year-old girl. At my neighbor’s. This man committed suicide! Because he was a White Guard 25 supporter and he didn’t have a passport. But because there was this charge that something had happened at his place, he was afraid for his family and he killed himself.

When I was arrested my parents were devastated. But I think they knew it could happen. I was too disobedient, too free-spirited and this leftist atmosphere among working class and lower bourgeoisie young people, this bond between Poles and Jews in Lublin had to bring some effects. I think Father started working then, in 1937. Because it was cold in jail, he bought me some warm shoes for railroad workers, felt with leather. They brought them to me, so I’d be warm and wouldn’t get ill. I really cried then, because I was so moved.

Father didn’t want to have anything to do with communism. He would have preferred for me to join a Zionist group…  Anyway, I had an admirer at that time; his name was Josl Laks. And in 1935 he left for Israel. At that time a lot of Zionist youth left for Israel [then Palestine]. There is a Russian song ‘khodit parim na zakadye vozlye doma moyevo,’ – ‘a boy walks around my house at sunset.’ And he walked around my house. I didn’t want him. Because I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t feel a bond with all that [with Jewry]. I left Jewry and joined TUR and that was my community. After the war, when I was in Israel, my friend Estera Klawir and her husband Lang Lejben told me that this boy came back to Poland in 1939 looking for me, he wanted to convince me to leave with him. He died in Lublin, in Majdanek, together with his parents.

I was in one cell with Maryska Wozniak and with Birowna, who was a very well known leftist activist, a legal clerk, her father had a law firm. Anyway, how can you talk about politics when, in that cell, we organized a contest for who had the best legs. Birowna won and I got second place. Or, when I led exercises for everyone, the guards would peep to see how the girls are exercising…

That’s how it was in the prison in Lublin. And in 1938 they took us to Fordon, near Bydgoszcz [420 km north west of Lublin]. That was the Central Women’s Prison. In 1939 the Ukrainian nationalists were taken out of there, further into Poland, and the communists and some of the criminals stayed in Fordon. When the war broke out 26, they didn’t open the door, the staff ran away… And they wanted to hand us over to the Germans. [Editor’s note: the area of Bydgoszcz was annexed by Germany, separated from the remaining Polish lands and Germanized.] Consciously or not, I can’t say, I don’t know for sure. On 1st September, it was a Friday, a bomb fell on the prison. The girls who were on the 4th floor panicked.

We asked Zdankowska, who was the chief of the prison, to move them downstairs and the woman told us, ‘When they drop bombs, then it’s going to be worse upstairs, but if there’s gas, then you’re going to have it worse downstairs.’ I was in the basement. One of the guards opened the door for us, we helped others and that’s how we got out. They had a cell for minors there, 15-17 years of age, so-called communists. They knew about as much about communism as I did, they were just fighting for a Ukrainian or Belarusian school. Or for land that they took away from them, in Volhynia, in Podolye [in 1921 Poland gained western Volhynia, eastern Volhynia and eastern Podolye belonged to Soviet Ukraine.] And there was a door with metal fixtures there, so we had to move some bricks. When we got out, a bomb fell and the wall collapsed.

People from the military units suggested that we should join them. But the Germans were close by. And we, with our stupid biographies… and stupid people who would have turned us in to the Germans at once… There were twelve girls in our group; the oldest one was Maria Kaminska, who became the president of Samopomoc Chlopska 27 after the war. So she was our leader, but I was the one who had to take care of all the outside contacts. Because I had a good appearance, Aryan, I spoke Polish perfectly and all the others were either Jews or Ukrainians, who didn’t know Polish. So there I was. And that’s how ‘Janina’ was born. And that’s how it stayed.

This year, 1939, was a horrible one. As you traveled from west to east – dead horses, human bodies, mooing cows that hadn’t been milked, destroyed houses, fallen trees, crying people and us, in the middle of everything, without food, in prison ‘kabats’ [‘jacket’, word of Hungarian origin]. When we reached a country estate and asked for milk, bread, potatoes, they gave it all to us. The squire gave it to us. But he separated us from his people, the farm-hands. And what were we in for? We said – for strikes. Well, what were we to say, for communism? He separated us immediately anyway.

On 15th September [1939] I reached Warsaw, via Bielany. There was heavy gunfire. We found attorney Duracz, Maria must have had his address. [Duracz, Teodor Franciszek (1883-1943): attorney, communist activist, member of PPS and KPP, until 1938 he defended people accused in famous political trials, co-founder of PPR, murdered by the Germans.] And they housed us at his legal clerk’s apartment and we slept on the floor. There was this Stefania Sempolowska and she gave us 2 zloty each, so we’d have some money. [Sempolowska, Stefania (1870-1944): social activist, publicist, pedagogue, writer. One of the leading figures of Polish intelligentsia, activist of the leftist teachers’ movement, editor of magazines, author of many books.]

I started looking for my family, the Bortners. So I went to Tlomackie Street and there was a note on the door, which said to look for them on Nowolipki. And I went there. It was the 4th floor, an old woman and a young one. They didn’t know anything, perhaps I misread the address, but they said, ‘please stay,’ because they were afraid to be alone. They gave me a coat, they gave me some shoes. Well, it was mid-September. And two more weeks of bombings and you had to eat something.

It’s good that someone gave me a piece of horse meat, cut out of a horse that was shot on the street and these ladies gave me some bread… You can’t even imagine what Warsaw was like during those bombings. I was walking down Miodowa Street to get some water from the Vistula River and everything was burning all around me, the [Royal] Castle was burning, fires everywhere.

The last night before the surrender, we were sitting in a basement, bombs were falling everywhere, non stop, this house was shaking non stop and what you were dreaming of was that, if you’re supposed to die, then it should happen quickly, so you don’t suffer. And then, the next morning, it all died down, the surrender of Warsaw [28th September 1939]. I left the city to go to Bialystok. A friend of mine, his name was Szwarc, or Weiser, walked with me… because he said, ‘You know, it will be easier for me to be on the road and more difficult for a girl.’

So I finally made it home. My parents were back in Bialystok, on Kupiecka 7. This was a house almost next to the gate of the ghetto, from the side of Lipowa Avenue. I stayed with my parent and my younger sister, Dina. My older sister Fania, who got married, was living in Lublin, in our old apartment on Lubartowska 61.

In 1939, when the Russian army came in [cf. Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact] 28, it is said that the Jews were happy 29. This was understandable. Why? Because everyone has dignity. And no one wants to feel worse than others. If the Germans had entered then, if the Germans had taken over Bialystok, the fate of those Jews would have been shortened by two years. [The ghetto in Bialystok was closed on 1st August 1941]. That’s one thing. And people knew about it. Second thing. The Russians didn’t persecute Jews because they were Jews. Of course, there are many Jews, stupid Jews, who evaluate those deportations, jails, like that. This is nonsense. If there were so many nations, different tribes, people weren’t arrested because they were Jews or something else, they were arrested because they were enemies and couldn’t be trusted. So this wasn’t from a nationalistic perspective, but because of class animosity, distrust of people. With regards to Jews, they were treated like everyone else. For example, I, when I started working in Bialystok in 1939, I started feeling human.  

I worked in sports. I have the fondest memories of this sports period. I was the vice-president of the Bialystok branch of the Spartak club. I was deeply involved in sports, because I was a competitor. I competed in bicycle racing, I was even the runner-up regional champion. I was practically the regional champion, because the winner was a girl from Leningrad or Moscow. That’s youth and young people; it’s hard to talk about politics. I organized clubs in the region, we used to go to Hrodna [100 km north east of Bialystok, today Belarus] to start clubs there. And that was where I met my first husband. I always had his photographs with me when I was in the partisan troops. He was the best soccer player, left striker, Janek, that is Jankiel Baran.

He was a very well known athlete – he was one of the best soccer players in all of Belarus. I only lived with him for a month. I didn’t want to have a rabbinical wedding, so I only had a civil wedding and I announced it to my parents. Father was outraged, but I only said that, Father can believe whatever he wants to believe, but he can’t force me to do it. I explained that a married couple is a social unit, that this has nothing to do with faith. But my family somehow got involved, somehow they arranged it and organized a wedding for me. And this was a month before the war [the war between Germany and the Soviet Union, which broke out on June 22nd 1941] 30.

Because I had been convicted in the past, I could argue with the authorities about why my father couldn’t get a job. He was an accountant. And Father was over 50 years old then. I went, I think, to the secretary [of the committee – part of the Soviet authorities in Bialystok] and I said, ‘Why in the hell can’t Father get a job?’ ‘Because, you know, older people…’ And I said, ‘What, are they supposed to die? He’s a professional.’ And I won. He got a job.

In addition to being vice-president, I was also a gymnastics instructor. Spartak was a club formed and subsidized by a cooperative and I had lots of these artisans’ workshops, small factories, where I went and led gymnastics exercises for 15 minutes, during a break at work. And then they told me to go to the Komsomol 31 to work. First, I was in charge of culture and education. I worked in a tile factory in Antoniuk [a district of Bialystok]. Cultural issues, newspapers and other things, some meetings, field trips, all in all, that kind of work. And then they told me to work in the regional committee, this was the Committee of the Bialystok region, Molotov’s region. This was mostly work with children, we even organized some dancing, performances at my sister Dina’s school. What is said now about ideological indoctrination… as far as I remember, what we did was interest these young people in field trips, drama, reading etc. 

We didn’t expect the war. Several boys and girls went to Lublin across the border and brought my sister Fania with her husband and child back to me. And they stayed with us. It was a very difficult period, because the winter was hard, there was nothing we could use for heating the house. It was a three-room apartment, two large rooms and one small one you had to pass through to get to the other ones. My room was above the entrance to the house, it wasn’t heated. Father worked as an accountant. Mother stayed at home, my younger sister was at school and the older sister and brother-in-law worked.

And then there was the night when the first bombs fell on Bialystok. Because I had survived 1939 walking from Bydgoszcz to Warsaw and then to Bialystok I immediately understood this was no drill, no lightning, but bombs. So I quickly gathered all the tenants on the 1st floor. I took my bicycle, because I rode like mad then, I had an excellent bicycle, semi-racing bicycle that I competed on, wooden rims… I went to the party secretary. He was sitting up there, he lived in the attic of a wooden house. I shouted to him, ‘War!’ and he replied, ‘Are you crazy?’ But I was right, it turned out it was a war.

And then I had to go to this ‘rajkom’ [regional committee] to pack all the documents [probably documents of the Soviet authorities, which could not fall into the hands of Germans]. All this is lost now, all my data is in that office. I was there with a friend, Lida Kowalewska. And the Germans were close by. They told me to go east. I offered to my entire family to get on the trucks and go. Father and mother said: ‘We are old and we won’t move anymore.’ So I took my sister Fania with her family, my sister Dina, I put them all on a truck with other Belarusians and I chased after them on my bicycle. 

The road was clogged up with cannons, tanks, people and I managed to ride for some 15-20 kilometers on that bike and I didn’t have the strength to go any further. I threw the bike on the road, I saw some soldier pick it up, and I also got on that truck, but they were bombing the road, so we had to get off. At some point the truck left and I was in some small wood next to the road with all of them. My sister was holding the baby, 18 months old; there was my brother-in-law and my little sister. I didn’t have the courage to tell them, ‘We are walking east.’ Because how could you walk with such a crowd of people and a baby? How could I take on responsibility for someone’s life? After all, we weren’t expecting the Holocaust then. We were expecting the worst, but not the Holocaust. That’s why I decided to walk them home.

We returned. Meanwhile, Fania’s husband, who was near-sighted, lost his glasses somewhere, he got lost and died. We were told that he died, because the Germans caught him and shot him, because we never saw him again. I walked Fania, the baby and my little sister home. The road wasn’t easy, not easy. The Germans didn’t come to Bialystok for another week. Meanwhile, people were robbing stores, taking blankets, materials from factory warehouses, everything that the textile industry in Bialystok produced. My husband and his brother were taken for military training, as conscripts, because there were two military training grounds near Bialystok. One day his brother came back and my husband didn’t. He told me, ‘Don’t wait, he’s dead.’ And that’s how I was left alone.

I moved in with my in-laws. One day when I was just going there, the Germans entered Bialystok. They came in on the main street, Sienkiewicza, and I was on a side street where my in-laws lived. And I only looked, I stood there, hid myself. They drove in on motorcycles, shooting, they had machine guns on the handlebars and they were shooting from the motorcycles. I quickly jumped into the house, went upstairs. Biala Street or Zamenhoffa, because that’s where Zamenhoff 32 was born once, that’s where their house was, a wooden one, I still remember it. The Gestapo headquarters was nearby. Then a huge cloud of smoke and the Germans quickly rushed into the Jewish district, they knew where to go.

They locked up over 1,000 Jews in the synagogue and burned them alive. [Editor’s note: On June 27th 1941 the Germans burned alive 2,000 Jews from Bialystok in the Great Synagogue on Boznicza Street 14]. And they burned the houses, which were there. Father’s brother lived there, he was a bit off the norm [that is, mentally disturbed]. His son was a weaver, his children, they all worked in the textile industry in Bialystok. And after they lost their house they came to us.

I have to say a few words about my father-in-law, old Baran. His daughter, so my sister-in-law, a beautiful blonde, worked as a waitress in ‘Soldatenheim’ [German: ‘Soldiers’ club’], or in the canteen. Every day she brought back a pot of soup. And I can say one thing, my father-in-law never ate a spoon of soup until I had had some of it. And I remember one day Mother came, her lips were purple with hunger, and she got food. He wouldn’t eat himself, he gave food to Mother… 

The Gestapo, or Wehrmacht 33, barged in once and took my brother-in law, who had returned from the army. Mother came and said, ‘Listen, the Germans want ransom and then they’ll let these people go.’ There were 2,000 young Jews there. ‘Should I – I have one gold chain, only one – should I give that?’ So I said, ‘Mom, I can’t say, at home you’ve got Father, sisters, granddaughter, the family of this brother-in-law, Chaim and children, decide, I can’t.’ As it turned out, the Germans put everything they got in their pockets and shot the Jews. This was the first week, or the first ten days of this war.

When the Germans entered the city, I recalled an event from childhood: I was playing hopscotch in the backyard and someone came and asked about the owners, the Rozycki family. And I showed them and told them. Mr. Rozycki then told this to my parents and said that they noticed the little girl, so outgoing and asked about her. ‘And she’s Jewish?’ They were surprised! Because I’m not very Jewish in my appearance. Really.

So once, already after the Germans had come, I met some buddies of mine who worked in that tile factory in Antoniuk, Wacek Dziejma, Marian Wolniewicz and some others, on the street. And Marian told me, ‘Listen Janina, you’re still having doubts, run off to the countryside, you’ll wait out the war and that’s it, look at yourself, don’t stay in Bialystok.’ So I thought that perhaps I really should leave the town. With my past I’d be the first one to go to the Gestapo and the family would suffer. And how much help could I be anyway? Just one more mouth to feed and there was no food in the house.

Meanwhile, a friend of my sister Dina, Grzegorz Lewi, was looking for me. He was graduating from gymnasium at that time, he was several years younger than I. We had a deal that we would leave Bialystok together. Grzegorz came looking for me, because he wanted to go. He only had a mother, his father was dead. My parents didn’t want to tell him where I was, but Dina knew him, so she said, ‘Listen Grzegorz, Janina is there and there.’ So that’s when we [with Grzegorz] decided to go. I had a piece of sausage and bread, butter that I was supposed to take to my husband, because it was a Sunday and it was left over in the house. And in the house, apart from what I was supposed to take to Janek, there was just this one bag with buckwheat groats. There was nothing more. We left, Mother even gave me her sweater, and we went east. 

We got to Bielsk [Podlaski] [150 km east of Warsaw], where my husband’s family lived, they gave us some food, but we had to go on. We both decided to change names in Bielsk. Grzegorz found some Soviet identification card of a Ukrainian, he corrected the date of birth, put in his photograph, this was amateur work, but somehow during the war it was enough. So he became Ivan Carycynski, born in Stanislavyv.

In Bielsk Podlaski we spent the night at a woman’s house, the notary’s wife. Her husband wasn’t home. She gave us a room, some straw, a sheet. There was a large orchard there. And because it was summertime we filled up on fruit. And, what’s interesting, I went to the mayor of the city, he was a senator [that is, the officials working there addressed him as ‘Mr. Senator’]. Erdman, I remember this name. So I asked him for an identity card and hid my Soviet one. He asked for my name, I gave my chosen last name, Zurek, and he asked them to put on my identity card ‘born in Vawkavysk’ [300 km east of Warsaw, today Belarus].

Why in Vawkavysk? Because they had no identity cards there. What I mean is that in 1939 Soviet officials issued identity cards, but only to people who were born in a given town. But they wouldn’t issue identity cards to refugees from central or western Poland. That was because they claimed they didn’t know them and they would have to be checked. If they wanted to live in the interior of Russia, they could do so, but they were afraid to have them near the border. They thought they might be spies or something. So if I said I was from Bialystok, they would say, ‘Dear child, but where’s your passport?’

And so I said Vawkavysk, because Vawkavysk was burned down during the first military activities… I listed an area where there was no [documentation] and they could control me however long they wanted to and they still wouldn’t find anything. You have to be clever, when your life’s at stake. I said we were going to Stanislavyv, to my fiancé’s family and it’s very difficult to get anywhere without an identity card in wartime. The official didn’t want to issue anything, but Erdman told him to. So I now honor the ashes of those people who were so wise and decent then.

So this is how we ended up, after a long march, in Polyeskaya Nizina [about 400 km south east of Warsaw, today Ukraine]. Then we reached this small town in – Vysotsk [Rivne, Ukraine]. There was a fully Ukrainian government there, not Soviet. [Editor’s note: After 22nd June Ukraine was also taken over by the Germans, who were supported by Ukrainian nationalists, hoping for help in forming an independent state.]

We went there, because they told us there was fighting near Malin. We were hoping to find a military unit, because, quite simply – we just wanted to fight. And we found this Vysotsk. Grzegorz was very courageous. He was a tall boy, dark blond, his hair was parted, he had a mustache, he was a very aristocratic child. Yes, it was easy to trust him, he was very confident, brave and I owe my life to him.

We found the mayor of this city, or rather the district chief, who was also the pope, I mean the Eastern or Greek-Orthodox priest. We later killed him. Well, it wasn’t us, but some others [partisans]. The Germans installed him as the district chief of this region in Vysotsk. And why was he killed? Well, he was all in all a kind person, but this kindness was directed more at Germans than at local people. What was he good at? He tried to solve conflicts, he tried to create the best possible conditions for people, but at he same time he didn’t tell us that they were killing Jews. He allowed the Ukrainian police to come at night with the Germans and liquidate the entire ghetto. And the partisans couldn’t forgive him that. I say about him – weak man.

His name was Thorevsky. When he looked at this document, which said that Grzegorz was Ukrainian, he employed us in a grain warehouse. He gave us housing with some Jews, a nice room, a bed, everything. And it was so funny, because they wanted to find out if we, by chance, weren’t Jewish. They kept talking and talking, and we – nothing. After the war someone once asked me if I had been an actress. And yes, at that time I was playing a role. We made friends there with a group of Ukrainians, communists, very decent people. They brought the previous manager of the grain warehouse to us, a peasant from the village, and he taught us how to run this warehouse. Everything was going well.  

It was funny, these Jews had a cow. The Germans ordered them to give it away. This cow was signed over to us, so I once took this cow to the bull, but the bull didn’t want her, so I had to take her there again, but then she didn’t want him… Oh, such strange things.

As a grain warehouse manager I used to visit this administrator, a German, who was always very elegant to me, very sophisticated, he almost kissed my hand. I laugh now, really… it would have been different if he had known that I was Jewish. But not all Germans were like that then. There was one German man from the group of military policemen, older people, and he would come to these Jewish people, because he could communicate with them. Someone reported on him and he was transferred to the front, to a punitive battalion.

Once, in December 1941, one of my friends, Polahovich [a Ukrainian], who was working in the city government, told me, ‘Listen, there is a mass for capturing Moscow, you’re a German government employee, because you work in the grain warehouse. You have to go…’ He told me I had to go, because all the local government employees were going. But why did the government employees have to go? Because the role of the church is to keep a check on people and here the pope was the district chief. And there was also confession, so they could count on finding something out. So I went to the Orthodox church, but because I didn’t know what the liturgy looked like, I watched the president of the cooperative, Mr. Dunchych, who was walking in front of me. He had a Jewish lover; he managed to save her, but the child had to die… And I watched how he made the sign of the cross three times in front of each icon. I did the same as he did, confession as well, I went through everything, just like I was expected to.

And a ghetto was created in Vysotsk. We moved out from our Jews and lived maybe 100 meters from that ghetto. When 1942 came, the liquidation of the ghetto started. One night, dogs barking, noise, shouting, shots. They surrounded the ghetto. Someone watched this happening and told me: there were pits dug in the ground, they all stood naked on the edge of these pits, because their belongings would be sent to the Reich and then one physician shouted to the Germans – ‘you will be held responsible for this and so will your descendants.’ They shot them all anyway.

I mean, a few people were saved because many men had their women in the countryside, Ukrainians. They had children with them and these women would come to their husbands hiding in the grain warehouse and bring them food. I also know that a woman from a very rich Jewish family from Lodz, Eiger, survived. I never met her again. I don’t know if she was later in the partisan forces. I don’t know, I can’t say.

And we were looking for partisans; there were already rumors in the area that we really wanted to join them. I have never told anyone about this period, this is really new. The chief of police was there, from the White Guard. Once, when we were going to the second warehouse in the woods near Svaritsevichi, we were hoping to find the partisans along the way. And this chief of police invited us for vodka and some food and he says, ‘So, are we going to meet with partisans?’ That’s what it looked like.

So we finally decided to give it all up, our situation was unstable and we wanted to join the partisan troops. So we decided to go into the woods, to go east. And this peasant, his last name was Shchur, who was once the manager of the warehouse, took me to a woman from the village of Ozery, who had a Jewish husband or friend. I stayed with her for one night and she went to get Grzegorz herself and walked him to that place. I had some baked chickens which my friend, Pogorzewiczowa, made for me. We were helped the most by the researchers of the Holy Scriptures – some sect [probably Jehovah’s Witnesses]. They were deeply religious people, whose faith obligates them to help others. They led us from one village to another. 

The Gestapo looked for us in the first house, because we burned all the documents from the warehouse and all the grain, with Shchur’s help, was taken by the peasants. This Shchur was later tortured by the Germans, beaten, but he didn’t tell them anything. The peasants, when they got their grain, didn’t say anything of course. The Germans never got the grain and all the documents were burned. Such an act of sabotage was death for us. So they were looking for us. They sent out arrest warrants and the Gestapo.

We were in the barn and the peasant was in the house. The peasant slipped out and he led us through mud to another village. These villages were so-called ‘chutory’ [old Polish word], settlements where each house is surrounded by an entire estate. This was all in Palyeskaya Nizina. But nobody knew we were Jewish. They only knew that the Gestapo was looking for us for sabotage, for the grain warehouse. Perhaps they suspected it, I don’t know. We had these backpacks with all our things: the Jews with whom we had stayed in Vysotsk gave us some rags, sheets, such things. We had a deal that if they survived, we would give everything back to them. This Jewess told me that if her child ran away to me, I would manage to somehow save him. I wanted to tell her – the blind leading the blind. But there were such situations.  

And so, selling these things along the way, we reached a Polish village. We entered a house, the name of the peasant was Bronislaw Kotwicki, and we wanted to sell him something. ‘Where are you from?’ ‘From Rokytne, from the glassworks.’ He replied, ‘No, you’re Jews, but I will help you, I won’t hand you over to the Germans.’ So I thought, all or nothing, and said – ‘Yes, we are Jewish.’ And he said, ‘But I will help you.’ He gave us food, allowed us to wash ourselves and led us to the woods, where he had a hut, that was well hidden. He had 80 log hives [natural bee hive in the trunk of a tree, the shelter of wild bees] with honey. He brought us water, milk, honey and bread for three weeks. That’s true. A man, who had never before seen us in his life, kept us in his hut in the woods for three weeks; he brought us bread and honey, because he didn’t have anything else. As long as he could. How could I say a bad word about Poles as a nation?

After three weeks, he wasn’t there. We didn’t have a drop of water for three days, because I couldn’t drink from the canal, I vomited. Hunger. We didn’t know what was happening, we had to get out, because we would have died of hunger. And so we went back to the village, to him. And we asked, why? ‘Mister, those were Lithuanian szaulis [from the Lithuanian word ‘šaulis’, meaning ‘shooter’ – Lithuanian soldier serving the Nazi occupants between 1940-1945], they were combing the forests, looking for partisans and runaways. They didn’t find you, but I can’t keep you any longer. I don’t have anything.’

We went to another peasant, we sold some of these things, we washed, spent the night and then walked on. I told him, ‘If the partisans show up, please let us know.’ He said, ‘There were several of them here, but I don’t believe them. They’d kill the boy, have their way with you and then kill you, I don’t believe them.’ That’s what this peasant told us, a man who possibly could not read or write; a Pole from the Polish village of Kupel, in the area of Rokytne, north of Sarny.

We kept walking, we found a forester’s hut. A Pole, Marian Surowiec, with his wife Gienia and a small boy, six or seven years old, was inside. We didn’t tell him we were Jewish. It turned out he didn’t love Jews very much, but he let us stay. He knew the Gestapo was looking for us, but he didn’t know we were Jewish. We stayed with him for several weeks. First of all, we bribed the ‘soltys’ [elected chair of a village council]. We had some Jewish coverlets hidden, we got them from those Jews in Vysotsk, we gave them to the ‘soltys.’ He just said, ‘Live here if you want to’ and that was it. The first night we were there several partisans came round. They said they were going on a mission, so they couldn’t take us with them but they said they would come to get us on their way back. They didn’t come. 

When we were staying at the forester’s hut, we started to make a living by sewing. We’d make pants from plain peasants’ cloth. This had to be done with a thick round needle and a linen thread. Grzegorz taught himself to tan leather and oak bark and we had our hands full. Marian and I would sew on the floor, because he had some old army pants, we laid them down on the floor and cut the fabric like that.

Meanwhile, after several weeks, this was the end of October 1942, a Ukrainian peasant came in the morning, driving a cart, and shouted, ‘The Red Army is coming!’ it turned out that large partisan forces had come from the interior of Ukraine, moving to western Ukraine. Of course, we went to the command straight away and asked to join. And they accepted us.

[Editor’s note: Mrs. Duda refused to talk about her wartime fate after joining the Red Army. Her friend, Grzegorz Lewi, died on 9th February 1943 in Khrapun.]

I described the period of the war when I was a civilian and the partisan forces that’s... I was in a partisan unit, I was sent to a unit in the village of Kupel [50 km north of Rivne, about 400 km south east of Warsaw, today Ukraine]. The war ended in this area in 1944. I joined the army and I was transferred to Poland, dropped with a parachute.

And after the war? Well, different things happened, but mostly I worked. I kept moving around Poland, following my husband, Teodor Duda.

Some people can be quite mad when it comes to the ministry of security. I am walking with a woman, a Jew from Lublin, who was saved by my friends from TUR and she says, ‘You know, this hospital is ubecki.’ [Editor’s note: Ubecki: Polish, adjective formed from the abbreviation UB – Ministry of Security, slang name for the Security Office (UB) – the secret police] And after all, excuse my language, her butt was saved. I worked in the ministry of security, so many people were helped. I worked in that police. But does that mean my conscience isn’t clear?

At this moment, a friend of mine [from the ministry of security], a Pole, has a case in court; and he’s eighty years old. After the war, Jews were returning from Russia and they caught them there in the Rzeszow district [300 km south east of Warsaw] and murdered some of them. And he wanted to save them [the Jews], so he punched one of those assailants in the face. He’s got a court case now, because it doesn’t expire, that he harassed veterans. And are they veterans because they were murdering Jews?

I attended university after the war, I became a civilian again, I worked for many years in foreign commerce, which was the profession I was educated for, because I graduated from School of Foreign Service. And later, because I was receiving a pension for the years I spent in the army, I became a contract employee in the tourism industry, I only stopped working as a tour guide in 1990. Because I passed exams in three languages – German, French and Russian; and that’s it.

After the war I didn’t find anyone from my close family. I searched at the Jewish Historical Institute 34 and I came upon the name of a cousin who had been to a camp [probably in evacuation] in Russia, in Komi. But when he came back, he didn’t suspect that anyone from the family was alive, so he didn’t look for us. He later went to the States [USA], where he had some family, but because the name Goldberg is so popular in the United States it would be difficult to find them. I didn’t have any precise data. He was the son of Fela, my father’s sister, I’ve already talked about her. Before the war their family lived in Dratowo near Lublin. Their last name was Goldberg and they had a lake there. Perhaps this will reach someone there, won’t it?

Later, I found some family from Father’s side in Moscow, two aunts [Mania and Ania] and an uncle [Natan Pinski]. But they’re dead now. However, Aron, Uncle Filip’s son, lived in Minsk, in Belarus. He changed his name to Arkadij after the war; he went to law school and was sent off to Minsk to the army. After he retired, because he was born in 1922, he also worked as a legal advisor. There is a niece in Canada, a daughter of that cousin; I also had some distant cousins in Israel. I don’t know if that cousin [Arkadij’s daughter] is still alive, she became a bit strange after her husband died.

And one of those Bortners, I’ve talked about him as well, also survived [the one who changed his name to Tagori]. His son from his first marriage, Maciek, also got married to a Polish woman and lives in Paris. Lech Walesa 35 was the godfather of his child. Maciek’s mother, Zofia, remarried. Her second husband was a man who was active in Solidarnosc 36 and personally knew Lech Walesa. Ms. Funny stories, aren’t they? And my closest cousin lives in Lodz, but she married a Pole, like all of us did, and her family is completely Polish. Her son even got married in a church… that’s the end, as they put it, that’s complete assimilation, quite simply.

I had an exceptional husband, Teodor, who was completely free from any kind of nationalism. In 1968 [Anti-Zionist campaign in Poland] 37 he suggested to me – let’s leave. I told him, ‘No, my place is here.’ And in 1968, in the office, in the company where I was working, in international commerce, one of the men had just returned from the Far East when the Israeli war [Six-Day-War] 38 was going on and he talked about what was happening there. They threw him out of the party [Polish United Workers’ Party] and they told me, ‘You have to repeat what he said.’ I really didn’t remember and, even if I did, I wouldn’t have said it.

I hate informers, although I understand that sometimes you need to use them, but not in this case. I voted against his expulsion from the party. So I was reprimanded. It was only a reprimand, because I had been a partisan and the chief of my district was Korczynski, so they were scared to do anything more. But they later asked me in the district party headquarters if I felt I had been harmed. So I just told them one thing, ‘You know what, I worked in the ministry of security, I understand they have to use informers there, but you in the party structures?’ That really is what I told them. So I didn’t leave and wasn’t planning on leaving. Just like that.

I would like to say a few words about my second husband. My husband, Teodor Duda, was from a village called Czesniki [250 km south east of Warsaw] near Zamosc, from a large family of the Eastern Orthodox faith. He was born in 1914, on 25th November. He himself couldn’t say if he was Polish or Ukrainian. Because there was no [national] consciousness in the countryside yet. He studied, he attended elementary school. They were very poor, because 2 hectares of land for eleven people is not much. There was one pair of shoes for several boys, so they would take turns going to school. The oldest brother, Mieczyslaw, who served in the Polish Army, married rich and he helped my husband very much, so that he could study. Mieczyslaw lived in Komorow, a village near Zamosc.

When he was 17, Teodor got involved with the Communist Union of Polish Youth 39, he was sentenced to three years in jail. And he spent those three years in jail. When he came back, he was, as it was said – a professional communist activist. He was sent to prison again, this time for eight years and he got out during the war, in 1939. He went to the Soviet Union and he happily approached the border patrol, telling them that he, a communist, was going to his, how would you put it, spiritual homeland. So they sent him to a labor camp for three years. He was somewhere up in the Ural, then they settled him in Kazakhstan, he found his way to the army from there, but not to Anders, to Berling [cf. The 1st Kosciuszko Infantry Division] 40.

So this is how we met in the Polish partisan headquarters, I had been in the Soviet partisan forces, I was staff officer of the Grunwald brigade, which was supposed to cross the River Bug. And this is how the two of us got together. After the war, he was an officer, a senior officer of the ministry of defense. We got married officially in 1946. What do I think of him? I have to say that when I look at the people around us, I think – God, if there were only more idealistic people like him, then all changes would happen differently. Apart from his ideology, he was a very decent man, very kind and that was probably the greatest luck I had in life. We spent 42 years together.

My husband wasn’t nationalistic at all. For him, everyone was a human being first. I even have to say that at first he would brag to his friends about having a Jewish wife. I told him: ‘Fiedia – this is how we called him in Russian – stop it, you never know who you’re dealing with.’ I simply pointed it out to him that he shouldn’t trust everyone like that. Anyway, I think I couldn’t have had it better than with him. Such was my happiness. But we didn’t have children. I was pregnant, but I had to terminate: it wasn’t a time for having babies [in 1941]. I walked from Vysotsk to Stolin, had the procedure and went back on foot, 30 kilometers. I fell ill and somehow… I couldn’t have children later.

I went to Israel after the war, several times. Here [in Poland] Jews, especially those who survived the occupation, have an inferiority complex, because you just can’t not have it, you can’t. The fact that Toeplitz [Krzysztof Teodor Toeplitz, contemporary writer and journalist] now published ‘The Saga of the Toeplitz Family’ [Saga rodziny Toeplitzów], this also proves the existence of the inferiority complex. Or so I think. There, people don’t have that. They are the masters of their own country. The issues of Palestine, Arabs, those were also political games of all these Arab sheikhs. When this territory was being divided, the Arabs could have created their own country then, but they didn’t let them. Because they were being used in these games with Israel, England, etc.

But I can say one thing: what they turned this desert into, it is just amazing. I stayed with my friend, whom I used to work with, in Bat Yam, a city south of Tel Aviv. The seashore there is very high, precipitous; when I was there the first time they were putting dirt there, planting plants and putting in these tubes. Every 25 cm, that’s what I calculated, there was a hole, they would pour water in that hole and it went straight to the root [patented Israeli irrigation system]. I was there several years later and the entire seashore was blooming, lush vegetation, lots of flowers, the entire area was nicely developed. That’s just something you don’t see anywhere else.

I also visited a kibbutz. It is true that the people who set these up were very ideological, but these kibbutzim were not communes. Yes, people worked together, but they had everything they needed and they studied, whoever wanted to leave, could leave, etc.

Apart from that, it’s a country like any other, people like everywhere, except there is a difference between European Jews and African, Asian Jews, difference between Sephardi 41 and Ashkenazi Jews. And there are lots of them there. When I was once staying with this friend of mine, it was the Easter [Pesach] holidays. And she says, ‘Come, I’ll show you a synagogue of Abyssinian [Ethiopian] Jews.’ And there was this woman walking there, an Abyssinian – what a beauty she was! European features, because they don’t have African features, but black as tar, such a beautiful face, full figure; it turned out she had four or five children, she was walking to meet her husband, who was a curator in the museum. And the clothing of these Abyssinian Jews…

When it comes to politics, there is a large difference with regards to their attitude to political issues. Firstly, social-democrats and socialists there are mostly Europeans and these most backward ones, the religious ones, are the African and Asian Jews. It was said here all the time that you can communicate in Polish in Israel. But that’s not true, not true. When I was taking a tram or bus and I asked something in Polish, no one answered, in German – no one, in French – yes; there were many Jews from Morocco and they understood French.

When someone mentions szmalcownicy 42, criminals from Jedwabne 43 or others, I understand that, I know, but you can’t look at any nation from the point of view of perversions, which exist in every society. Myself, I am very critical of the role of Jewish militia in ghettoes [cf. Jewish police] 44. I understand it was necessary to maintain some order, but these people betrayed others to save themselves and their families. Why am I supposed to evaluate them differently than people who for 1,500 years were under the pressure of the anti-Semitic activity of the church?

I respect Golda Tencer very much [actress of the Jewish Theater, singer, president of the Shalom Foundation]; intelligent woman, energetic. I respect Szurmiej [Szymon Szurmiej, director, actor and president of the Jewish Theater since 1969], he is someone. There were some disagreements and other issues there in the meantime; also they are more into Yiddish and I have distanced myself from that, I can’t go back and throw away decades of my life. I say this, because there were different kinds of Jewish people. Traditional Jews were a whole different world for me. I couldn’t understand that world. Because I was in circles where you read Russian and Polish literature; my generation went to Polish schools, gymnasia. There were no lectures, no study of Jewish religion, culture or tradition.

Did I want to break away from Jewishness? No. When I came to the partisan unit, I gave them my name, last name, everything. But my current name, the one I have since 1939, is mine, because I chose it. And this is how it stayed my entire life. I don’t have anything more to say about Jewishness.

Glossary:

1 Bialystok ghetto

It was set up following the German invasion of the city (26th July 1941), also for Jews from surrounding towns, some 40,000 people in total. In February 1943, during the first liquidation campaign, when around 10,000 people were sent to Treblinka, an attempt at resistance was undertaken. On 16th August 1943, during the final liquidation of the ghetto, an uprising broke out, led by M. Tenenbaum and D. Moszkowicz (who both committed suicide following the failure of the uprising). Within 5 days all the inhabitants of the ghetto were taken away, some to Treblinka and some to Majdanek.

2 Partitions of Poland (1772-1795)

Three divisions of the Polish lands, in 1772, 1793 and 1795 by the neighboring powers: Russia, Austria and Prussia. Under the first partition Russia occupied the lands east of the Dzwina, Drua and Dnieper, a total of 92,000 km2 and a population of 1.3 million. Austria took the southern part of the Cracow and Sandomierz provinces, the Oswiecim and Zator principalities, the Ruthenian province (except for the Chelm lands) and part of the Belz province, a total of 83,000 km2 and a population of 2.6 million. Prussia annexed Warmia, the Pomerania, Malbork and Chelmno provinces (except for Gdansk and Torun) and the lands along the Notec river and Goplo lake, altogether 36,000 km2 and 580,000 souls. The second partition was carried out by Prussia and Russia. Prussia occupied the Poznan, Kalisz, Gniezno, Sieradz, Leczyca, Inowroclaw, Brzesc Kujawski and Plock provinces, the Dobrzyn lands, parts of the Rawa and Masovia provinces, and Torun and Gdansk, a total of 58,000 km2 and over a million inhabitants. Russia took the Ukrainian and Belarus lands east of the Druja-Pinsk-Zbrucz line, altogether 280,000 km2 and 3 million inhabitants. Under the third partition Russia obtained the rest of the Lithuanian, Belarus and Ukrainian lands east of the Bug and the Nemirov-Grodno line, a total area of 120,000 km2 and 1.2 million inhabitants. The Prussians took the remainder of Podlasie and Mazovia, Warsaw, and parts of Samogitia and Malopolska, 55,000 km2 and a population of 1 million. Austria annexed Cracow and the part of Malopolska between the Pilica, Vistula and Bug, and part of Podlasie and Masovia, a total surface area of 47,000 km2 and a population of 1.2 million.

3 Stalingrad Battle

17th July 1942 - 2nd February 1943. The South-Western and Don Fronts stopped the advance of German armies in the vicinity of Stalingrad. On 19th and 20th November 1942 the Soviet troops undertook an offensive and encircled 22 German divisions (330,000 people) and eliminated them. On 31st January 1943 the remains of the 6th German army headed by General Field Marshal Paulus surrendered (91,000 people). The victory in the Stalingrad battle was of huge political, strategic and international significance.

4 Haganah (Hebrew

‘Defense’): Jewish armed organization formed in 1920 in Palestine and grew rapidly during the Arab uprisings (1936-39). Haganah also organized illegal immigration of Jews to Palestine. In 1941 illegal stormtroops were created, which after World War II fought against the army and the British Police in Palestine. In 1948-1949 Haganah soldiers were trained in Poland and Czechoslovakia.

5 Common name

Russified or Russian first names used by Jews in everyday life and adopted in official documents. The Russification of first names was one of the manifestations of the assimilation of Russian Jews at the turn of the 19th and 20th century. In some cases only the spelling and pronunciation of Jewish names was russified (e.g. Isaac instead of Yitskhak; Boris instead of Borukh), while in other cases traditional Jewish names were replaced by similarly sounding Russian names (e.g. Eugenia instead of Ghita; Yury instead of Yuda). When state anti-Semitism intensified in the USSR at the end of the 1940s, most Jewish parents stopped giving their children traditional Jewish names to avoid discrimination.

6 1905 Russian Revolution

Erupted during the Russo-Japanese War of 1904-05, and was sparked off by a massacre of St. Petersburg workers taking their petitions to the Tsar (Bloody Sunday). The massacre provoked disgust and protest strikes throughout the country: between January and March 1905 over 800,000 people participated in them. Following Russia's defeat in its war with Japan, armed insurrections broke out in the army and the navy (the most publicized in June 1905 aboard the battleship Potemkin). In 1906 a wave of pogroms swept through Russia, directed against Jews and Armenians. The main unrest in 1906 (involving over a million people in the cities, some 2,600 villages and virtually the entire Baltic fleet and some of the land army) was incited by the dissolution of the First State Duma in July. The dissolution of the Second State Duma in June 1907 is considered the definitive end to the revolution.

7 Polish-Soviet War (1919-21)

Between Poland and Soviet Russia. It began with the Red Army marching on Belarus and Lithuania; in December 1918 it took Minsk, and on 5th January 1919 it drove divisions of the Lithuanian and Belarusian defense armies out of Vilnius. The Soviets' aim was to install revolutionary governments in these lands, while the Polish side had two territorial programs for them: incorporative (the annexation of Belarus and part of Ukraine to Poland) and federating (the creation of a system of nation states sympathetic to Poland). The war was waged on the territory of what is today Lithuania, Belarus, Ukraine and Poland (west to the Vistula). Armed combat ceased on 18th October 1920 and the peace treaty was signed on 18th March 1921 in Riga. The outcome of the 1919-1920 war was the incorporation into Poland of Lithuania's Vilnius region, Belarus' Grodno region, and Western Ukraine.

8 Kursk battle

The greatest tank battle in the history of World War II, which began on 5th July 1943 and ended eight days later. The biggest tank fight, involving almost 1,200 tanks and mobile cannon units on both sides, took place in Prokhorovka on 12th July and ended with the defeat of the German tank unit.

9 Nozyk Synagogue

The only synagogue in Warsaw not destroyed during World War II or shortly afterwards. Built at the beginning of the 20th century from a foundation set up by a couple called Nozyk, it serves the Warsaw Jewish Community as a prayer house today. The Nozyk Synagogue is near Grzybowskiego Square, where the majority of Warsaw’s Jewish organizations and institutions are situated.

10 Hasid

Follower of the Hasidic movement, a Jewish mystic movement founded in the 18th century that reacted against Talmudic learning and maintained that God's presence was in all of one's surroundings and that one should serve God in one's every deed and word. The movement provided spiritual hope and uplifted the common people. There were large branches of Hasidic movements and schools throughout Eastern Europe before World War II, each following the teachings of famous scholars and thinkers. Most had their own customs, rituals and life styles. Today there are substantial Hasidic communities in New York, London, Israel and Antwerp.

11 President of the Republic of Poland in exile

The office of the President of the Polish state was transferred abroad on 17th September 1939, during German and Soviet occupation of the country. Until July 1945 the president in exile was officially recognized by most ally countries and other states. The seats of the government were: Paris, Angers (after November 1939), and London (after June 1940). The office of president was held by: I. Moscicki, W. Raczkiewicz, A. Zalewski, S. Ostrowski, E. Raczynski, K. Sabbat, R. Kaczorowski. In December 1990 Kaczorowski handed over the insignia of power to the newly elected president of the Republic of Poland, Lech Walesa.

12 Jozef Haller’s troops

During World War I Jozef Haller fought in Pilsudski's legions. In 1916 he was appointed commander-in-chief of the 2nd Brigade of Polish Legions, which in February 1918 broke through the Austro-Russian front and joined up with the II Polish Corpus in Ukraine. In August 1918 Haller went to Paris. The Polish National Committee operating in France appointed him commander-in-chief of the Polish Army in France (the 'Blue Army'). In April 1919 Gen. Haller led his troops back to Poland to take part in the fight for Poland's sovereignty and independence. He commanded first the Galician front, then the south-western front and finally the Pomeranian front. During the Polish-Bolshevik War, in 1920, he became a member of the National Defense Council and Inspector General of the Volunteer Army and commander-in-chief of the North-Eastern front. After the war he was nominated General Inspector of Artillery. During the chaos that ensued after Poland regained its independence and in the battles over the borders in 1918-1921, the soldiers of Haller's army were responsible for many campaigns directed against the Jews. They incited pogroms and persecution in the towns and villages they entered.

13 Pilsudski, Jozef (1867-1935)

Polish activist in the independence cause, politician, statesman, marshal. With regard to the cause of Polish independence he represented the pro-Austrian current, which believed that the Polish state would be reconstructed with the assistance of Austria-Hungary. When Poland regained its independence in January 1919, he was elected Head of State by the Legislative Sejm. In March 1920 he was nominated marshal, and until December 1922 he held the positions of Head of State and Commander-in-Chief of the Polish Army. After the murder of the president, Gabriel Narutowicz, he resigned from all his posts and withdrew from politics. He returned in 1926 in a political coup. He refused the presidency offered to him, and in the new government held the posts of war minister and general inspector of the armed forces. He was prime minister twice, from 1926-1928 and in 1930. He worked to create a system of national security by concluding bilateral non-aggression pacts with the USSR (1932) and Germany (1934). He sought opportunities to conclude firm alliances with France and Britain. In 1932, owing to his deteriorating health, Pilsudski resigned from his functions. He was buried in the Crypt of Honor in the Wawel Cathedral of the Royal Castle in Cracow.

14 Maccabi World Union

International Jewish sports organization whose origins go back to the end of the 19th century. A growing number of young Eastern European Jews involved in Zionism felt that one essential prerequisite of the establishment of a national home in Palestine was the improvement of the physical condition and training of ghetto youth. In order to achieve this, gymnastics clubs were founded in many Eastern and Central European countries, which later came to be called Maccabi. The movement soon spread to more countries in Europe and to Palestine. The World Maccabi Union was formed in 1921. In less than two decades its membership was estimated at 200,000 with branches located in most countries of Europe and in Palestine, Australia, South America, South Africa, etc.

15 Corporations

Elite student organizations stemming from Germany [similar to fraternities].The first Polish corporation was founded in 1828.They became popular in the 1920s and 1930s, when over 100 were set up. In the 1930s over 2,000 students were members, or 7% of ethnic Polish male students. Jews and women were not admitted. The aim of the corporations was to play an educational, self-developmental role, to foster patriotism, and to teach the principles of honor and friendship. Meetings included readings and lectures, and the corporations played sport. The professed apoliticism of the corporations was a fiction. Several players fought for influence in the Polish Union of Academic Corporations - the Union of Pan-Polish Youth (Zwiazek Mlodziezy Wszechpolskiej), the Nationalist-Radical Camp (Oboz Narodowo-Radykalny), and the Camp for a Great Poland (Oboz Wielkiej Polski). Before the war most corporations were of an extreme right-wing ilk. This also included anti-Semitic attitudes. Students in corporate colors participated in anti-government campaigns and hit squads, resorted to physical violence against Jews, and supported the "lecture-theater ghettos" at universities and the idea of the numerus nullus, a ban on Jews studying.

16 Majdanek concentration camp

Situated five kilometers from the city center of Lublin, Poland, originally established as a labor camp in October 1941. It was officially called Prisoner of War Camp of the Waffen-SS Lublin until 16th February 1943, when the name was changed to Concentration Camp of the Waffen-SS Lublin. Unlike most other Nazi death camps, Majdanek, located in a completely open field, was not hidden from view. About 130,000 Jews were deported there during 1942-43 as part of the 'Final Solution.'. Initially there were two gas chambers housed in a wooden building, which were later replaced by gas chambers in a brick building. The estimated number of deaths is 360,000, including Jews, Soviets POWs and Poles. The camp was liquidated in July 1944, but by the time the Red Army arrived the camp was only partially destroyed. Although approximately 1,000 inmates were executed on a death march, the Red Army found thousand of prisoners still in the camp, an evidence of the mass murder that had occurred in Majdanek.

17 Hashomer Haleumi

Rightist Zionist scout organization. The first Hashomer Haleumi troop was established in Warsaw in 1927, and others were subsequently founded in Pinsk, Cracow, Lwow and other towns.

18 Workers' University Society Youth Movement (OMTUR)

Socialist youth organization linked to the Polish Socialist Party (PPS). Established in 1926, it organized cultural and sporting events, and acted against clericalism and anti-Semitism. It brought together young people from all walks of life. In 1932 it had some 6,500 members in 85 towns and cities. In the 1930s OMTUR activists underwent political radicalization and began cooperating with a radical peasant communist movement. Reactivated in 1944, in 1948 it numbered around 100,000 members. After the war it ran clubs, libraries and sports clubs. In July 1948 OMTUR was incorporated into the Union of Polish Youth (ZMP).

19 Anders’ Army

The Polish Armed Forces in the USSR, subsequently the Polish Army in the East, known as Anders' Army: an operations unit of the Polish Armed Forces formed pursuant to the Polish-Soviet Pact of 30th July 1941 and the military agreement of 14th July 1941. It comprised Polish citizens who had been deported into the heart of the USSR: soldiers imprisoned in 1939-41 and civilians amnestied in 1941 (some 1.25-1.6m people, including a recruitment base of 100,000-150,000). The commander-in-chief of the Polish Armed Forces in the USSR was General Wladyslaw Anders. The army never reached its full quota (in February 1942 it numbered 48,000, and in March 1942 around 66,000). In terms of operations it was answerable to the Supreme Command of the Red Army, and in terms of organization and personnel to the Supreme Commander, General Wladyslaw Sikorski and the Polish government in exile. In March-April 1942 part of the Army (with Stalin's consent) was sent to Iran (33,000 soldiers and approx. 10,000 civilians). The final evacuation took place in August-September 1942 pursuant to Soviet-British agreements concluded in July 1942 (it was the aim of General Anders and the British powers to withdraw Polish forces from the USSR); some 114,000 people, including 25,000 civilians (over 13,000 children) left the Soviet Union. The units that had been evacuated were merged with the Polish Army in the Middle East to form the Polish Army in the East, commanded by Anders.

20 Sanacja

Sanacja was a coalition political movement in Poland in the interwar years. It was created in 1926 by Józef Pilsudski. It was a wide movement created to support 'moral sanitation' of the society and the politics in Poland prior to and after the May coup d'état of 1926. Named after the Latin word for sanitation (sanatio), the movement was formed primarily by former military officers disgusted with the corrupt nature of Polish politics. It represented a coalition of members from the right, the left, and centrists. Its main focus was to eliminate corruption within Poland and to minimize inflation.

21 Endeks

Name formed from the initials of a right-wing party active in Poland during the inter-war period (ND - 'en-de'). Narodowa Demokracja [National Democracy] was founded by Roman Dmowski. Its members and supporters, known as 'Endeks,' often held anti-Semitic views.

22 Polish Socialist Party (PPS)

Founded in 1892, its reach extended throughout the Kingdom of Poland and abroad, and it proclaimed slogans advocating the reclamation by Poland of its sovereignty. It was a party that comprised many currents and had room for activists of varied views and from a range of social backgrounds. During the revolutionary period in 1905-07 it was one of the key political forces; it directed strikes, organized labor unions, and conducted armed campaigns. It was also during this period that it developed into a party of mass reach (towards the end of 1906 it had some 55,000 members). After 1918 the PPS came out in support of the parliamentary system, and advocated the need to ensure that Poland guaranteed freedom and civil rights, division of the churches (religious communities) and the state, and territorial and cultural autonomy for ethnic minorities; and it defended the rights of hired laborers. The PPS supported the policy of the head of state, Jozef Pilsudski. It had seats in the first government of the Republic, but from 1921 was in opposition. In 1918-30 the main opponents of the PPS were the National Democrats [ND] and the communist movement. In the 1930s the state authorities' repression of PPS activists and the reduced activity of working-class and intellectual political circles eroded the power of the PPS (in 1933 it numbered barely 15,000 members) and caused the radicalization of some of its leaders and party members. During World War II the PPS was formally dissolved, and some of its leaders created the Polish Socialist Party - Liberty, Equality, Independence (PPS-WRN), which was a member of the coalition supporting the Polish government in exile and the institutions of the Polish Underground State. In 1946-48 many members of PPS-WRN left the country or were arrested and sentenced in political trials. In December 1948 PPS activists collaborating with the PPR consented to the two parties merging on the PPR's terms. In 1987 the PPS resumed its activities. The party currently numbers a few thousand members.

23 People’s Army (Armia Ludowa, AL)

Polish military organization with a left-wing political bent, founded on 1st January 1944 by renaming the People's Guard (set up in 1942). It was the armed wing of the PPR (Polish Workers' Party), and acted against the German forces and was pro-Soviet. At the beginning of 1944 it numbered 6,000-8,000 people and by July 1944 some 30,000. By comparison the partisan forces numbered 6,000 in July 1944. The People's Army directed the brunt of its efforts towards destroying German lines of communication, in particular behind the German-Soviet front. Divisions of the People's Army also participated in the Warsaw Uprising. In July 1944 the Polish Armed Forces (WP, Wojsko Polskie) were created from the People's Army and the Polish Army in the USSR.

24 Office for Public Security, UBP

Popularly known as the UB, officially established to protect the interests of national security, but in fact served as a body whose function was to stamp out all forms of resistance during the establishment and entrenchment of communist power in Poland. The UB was founded in 1944. Branches of the UBP were set up immediately after the occupation by the Red Army of the Polish lands west of the Bug. The first UBP functionaries were communist activists trained by the NKVD, and former soldiers of the People's Army and members of the Polish Workers' Party (PPR). In many cases they were also collaborationists from the period of German occupation and criminals. The senior officials were NKVD officers. The primary tasks of the UBP were to crush all underground organizations with a western orientation. In 1956 the Security Service was formed and many former officers of the UBP were transferred.

25 White Guards

A counter-revolutionary gang led by General Denikin, famous for their brigandry and anti-Semitic acts all over Russia; legends were told of their cruelty. Few survived their pogroms.

26 German Invasion of Poland

The German attack of Poland on 1st September 1939 is widely considered the date in the West for the start of World War II. After having gained both Austria and the Bohemian and Moravian parts of Czechoslovakia, Hitler was confident that he could acquire Poland without having to fight Britain and France. (To eliminate the possibility of the Soviet Union fighting if Poland were attacked, Hitler made a pact with the Soviet Union, the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact.) On the morning of 1st September 1939, German troops entered Poland. The German air attack hit so quickly that most of Poland's air force was destroyed while still on the ground. To hinder Polish mobilization, the Germans bombed bridges and roads. Groups of marching soldiers were machine-gunned from the air, and they also aimed at civilians. On 1st September, the beginning of the attack, Great Britain and France sent Hitler an ultimatum - withdraw German forces from Poland or Great Britain and France would go to war against Germany. On 3rd September, with Germany's forces penetrating deeper into Poland, Great Britain and France both declared war on Germany.

27 CZS Samopomoc Chlopska

Central Union of Cooperatives - Peasant Mutual Aid, rural cooperative organization founded in 1948, bringing together voivodship and district unions and local cooperatives. An institution connected with the centrally planned economic system. It was disbanded in 1990.

28 Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact

Non-aggression pact between Germany and the Soviet Union, which became known under the name of Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact. Engaged in a border war with Japan in the Far East and fearing the German advance in the west, the Soviet government began secret negotiations for a non-aggression pact with Germany in 1939. In August 1939 it suddenly announced the conclusion of a Soviet-German agreement of friendship and non-aggression. The Pact contained a secret clause providing for the partition of Poland and for Soviet and German spheres of influence in Eastern Europe.

29 Jews welcoming the Red Army

Poles often accuse the Jews of enthusiastically welcoming the Soviet occupiers, treating it as treason against the Polish state. In reality welcoming committees were formed not only by Jews, but also by Poles, Lithuanians, Ukrainians, and Belarusians. Some Jews active in left-wing organizations took literally the slogans promising that Soviet rule would bring equality, liberty and justice. Of course not all Jews were uncritical with regard to Soviet promises. Older people remembered the Russian pogroms of the Tsarist period (before the 1917 revolution), the wealthy feared for their property, and religious people were afraid of repression. But information relayed back by those who had fled to central and western provinces of the ruthless treatment of the Jews by the Germans made the Jews pleased at the halt of the German advance eastward.

30 Great Patriotic War

On 22nd June 1941 at 5 o'clock in the morning Nazi Germany attacked the Soviet Union without declaring war. This was the beginning of the so-called Great Patriotic War. The German blitzkrieg, known as Operation Barbarossa, nearly succeeded in breaking the Soviet Union in the months that followed. Caught unprepared, the Soviet forces lost whole armies and vast quantities of equipment to the German onslaught in the first weeks of the war. By November 1941 the German army had seized the Ukrainian Republic, besieged Leningrad, the Soviet Union's second largest city, and threatened Moscow itself. The war ended for the Soviet Union on 9th May 1945.

31 Komsomol

Communist youth political organization created in 1918. The task of the Komsomol was to spread of the ideas of communism and involve the worker and peasant youth in building the Soviet Union. The Komsomol also aimed at giving a communist upbringing by involving the worker youth in the political struggle, supplemented by theoretical education. The Komsomol was more popular than the Communist Party because with its aim of education people could accept uninitiated young proletarians, whereas party members had to have at least a minimal political qualification.

32 Zamenhoff Ludwik (1859–1917)

The creator of Esperanto, the most successful of the artificial languages. Born in Bialystok, an oculist by profession, a devoted Zionist, and a polyglot himself he started working on the international language as a high school student and completed it by 1878. The aim of his Esperantist movement was to foster fraternity among the nations. His aspirations grew to create the universal world religion as well that he would call Hillelism, in honor of Rabbi Hillel, the great rabbi of the 1st century. The Esperantist movement has proven to be successful, people have learned and widely used his language, both spoken and written, in great number ever since.

33 Wehrmacht (German Armed Forces)

Between 1935 and 1945, Wehrmacht was the official name of the German Army, which consisted of land, naval and air forces. Apart from the soldiers of the Wehrmacht, the members of the Waffen-SS also participated in actions during WWII. The Waffen-SS grew out of the paramilitary SS (Schutzstaffel = 'protective echelon') established by Hitler as a personal bodyguard in 1925. Placed under the Wehrmacht, however, the Waffen-SS participated in battles from 1939. Its elite units committed massacres at Oradour, Malmedy, Le Paradis and elsewhere.

34 The Jewish Historical Institute [Zydowski Instytut Historyczny (ZIH)]

Warsaw-based academic institution devoted to researching the history and culture of Polish Jews. Founded in 1947 from the Central Jewish Historical Committee, an arm of the Central Committee for Polish Jews. ZIH houses an archive center and library whose stocks include the books salvaged from the libraries of the Templum Synagogue and the Institute of Judaistica, and the documents comprising the Ringelblum Archive. ZIH also has exhibition rooms where its collection of liturgical items and Jewish painting are on display, and an exhibition dedicated to the Warsaw ghetto. Initially the institute devoted its research activities solely to the Holocaust, but over the last dozen or so years it has broadened the scope of its historical and cultural work. In 1993 ZIH was brought under the auspices of the Polish Ministry of Culture and National Heritage. It publishes the Jewish Historical Institute Quarterly.

35 Walesa, Lech (b

1943): Leader of the Solidarity movement, politician, Nobel-prize winner. Originally he was an electrician in the Gdansk shipyard and became a main organizer of strikes there that gradually grew to be nation-wide and greatly influenced Polish politics in the 1980s. Co-founder of the Solidarity (Solidarnost) trade union in 1980, representing the workers (and later much of the Polish society) against the communist nomenclature. He was one of the promoters of the thorough reconstruction of the Polish political and economic system, the creation of a sovereign democratic state with a market economy. In 1983 he received the Nobel Peace Prize. From 1990-1995 he was president of the Republic of Poland.

36 'Solidarnosc' Production Co-operatives

An association established in 1946 to co-ordinate the work of production plants run by legally functioning Jewish parties. It also provided re-qualification and training for employees, including repatriates. In 1949 there were 200 Jewish co-operatives operating within the 'Solidarnosc' organization in Poland. They operated until 1968 (with a break from 1950-1956).

37 Anti-Zionist campaign in Poland

From 1962-1967 a campaign got underway to sack Jews employed in the Ministry of Internal Affairs, the army and the central administration. The background to this anti-Semitic campaign was the involvement of the Socialist Bloc countries on the Arab side in the Middle East conflict, in connection with which Moscow ordered purges in state institutions. On 19th June 1967 at a trade union congress the then First Secretary of the Polish United Workers' Party [PZPR], Wladyslaw Gomulka, accused the Jews of a lack of loyalty to the state and of publicly demonstrating their enthusiasm for Israel's victory in the Six-Day-War. This address marked the start of purges among journalists and creative professions. Poland also severed diplomatic relations with Israel. On 8th March 1968 there was a protest at Warsaw University. The Ministry of Internal Affairs responded by launching a press campaign and organizing mass demonstrations in factories and workplaces during which 'Zionists' and 'trouble-makers' were indicted and anti-Semitic and anti-intelligentsia slogans shouted. After the events of March, purges were also staged in all state institutions, from factories to universities, on criteria of nationality and race. 'Family liability' was also introduced (e.g. with respect to people whose spouses were Jewish). Jews were forced to emigrate. From 1968-1971 15,000-30,000 people left Poland. They were stripped of their citizenship and right of return.

38 Six-Day-War

(Hebrew: Milhemet Sheshet Hayamim), also known as the 1967 Arab-Israeli War, Six Days War, or June War, was fought between Israel and its Arab neighbors Egypt, Jordan, and Syria. It began when Israel launched a preemptive war on its Arab neighbors; by its end Israel controlled the Gaza Strip, the Sinai Peninsula, the West Bank, and the Golan Heights. The results of the war affect the geopolitics of the region to this day.

39 Communist Union of Polish Youth (KZMP)

Until 1930 the Union of Communist Youth in Poland. Founded in March 1922 as a branch of the Communist Youth International. From the end of 1923 its structure included also the Communist Youth Union of Western Belarus and the Communist Youth Union of Western Ukraine (as autonomous regional organizations). Its activities included politics, culture and education, and sport. In 1936 it initiated the publication of a declaration of the rights of the young generation in Poland (whose postulates included an equal start in life for all, democratic rights, and the guarantee of work, peace and universal education). The salient activists in the organization included B. Berman, A. Kowalski, A. Lampe, A. Lipski. In 1933 the organization had some 15,000 members, many of whom were Jews and peasants. The KZMP was disbanded in 1938.

40 The 1st Kosciuszko Infantry Division

Tactical grouping formed in the USSR from May 1943. The victory at Stalingrad and the gradual assumption of the strategic initiative by the Red Army strengthened Stalin's position in the anti-fascist coalition and enabled him to exert increasing influence on the issue of Poland. In April 1943, following the public announcement by the Germans of their discovery of mass graves at Katyn, Stalin broke off diplomatic relations with the Polish government in exile and using the Poles in the USSR, began openly to build up a political base (the Union of Polish Patriots) and an army: the 1st Kosciuszko Infantry Division numbered some 11,000 soldiers and was commanded first by General Zygmunt Berling (1943-44), and subsequently by the Soviet General Bewziuk (1944-45). In August 1943 the division was incorporated into the 1st Corps of the Polish Armed Forces in the USSR, and from March 1944 was part of the Polish Army in the USSR. The 1st Division fought at Lenino on 12-13 October 1943, and in Praga in September 1944. In January 1945 it marched into Warsaw, and in April-May 1945 it took part in the capture of Berlin. After the war it became part of the Polish Army.

41 Sephardi Jewry

(Hebrew for 'Spanish') Jews of Spanish and Portuguese origin. Their ancestors settled down in North Africa, the Ottoman Empire, South America, Italy and the Netherlands after they had been driven out from the Iberian peninsula at the end of the 15th century. About 250,000 Jews left Spain and Portugal on this occasion. A distant group among Sephardi refugees were the Crypto-Jews (Marranos), who converted to Christianity under the pressure of the Inquisition but at the first occasion reassumed their Jewish identity. Sephardi preserved their community identity; they speak Ladino language in their communities up until today. The Jewish nation is formed by two main groups: the Ashkenazi and the Sephardi group which differ in habits, liturgy their relation toward Kabala, pronunciation as well in their philosophy.

42 Szmalcownik

Polish slang word from the period of the German occupation (derived from the German word 'Schmalz', meaning lard), referring to a person blackmailing and denouncing Jews in hiding. Szmalcowniks operated in all larger cities, in particular following the liquidation of the ghettos, when Jews who had evaded deportation attempted to survive in hiding. In Warsaw they often formed organized groups that prowled around the ghetto exists. They picked out their victims by subtle signs (e.g. lowered, frightened eyes, timid behavior), eccentric clothing (e.g. the lack of the fur collar so widespread at the time, or wearing winter clothes in summer), way of speaking, etc. Victims so selected were threatened with denunciation to the Germans; blackmail could be an isolated event or be repeated until the victim's financial resources ran out. The Polish underground attempted to combat the szmalcowniks but in vain. To this day the crimes of the szmalcowniks are not entirely investigated and accounted for.

43 Jedwabne

Town in north-eastern Poland. On 10th July 1941 900 Jews were burned alive there. Until recently the official historiography maintained that the Germans were the perpetrators of this act. In 2000, however, Tomasz Gross published a book called 'Neighbors,' in which he indicted Poles as the perpetrators of the Jedwabne massacre. This book sparked off a discussion that embroiled academics, politicians and the media alike. The case was also investigated by the Institute for National Remembrance. This was the second such serious debate on Polish involvement in the extermination of the Jews. The Jedwabne debate attempted to establish the number of Jews murdered, to define the nature of the incident (pogrom or Holocaust), and to point out the direct perpetrators and initiators of the crime.

44 Jewish police

Carrying out their will the German authorities appointed a Jewish police in the ghettos. Besides maintaining order in general in the territory of the ghetto the Jewish police was also responsible for guarding the ghetto gates. During liquidation campaigns most of them collaborated with the Nazis; in the Warsaw ghetto each policeman had to supply at least five people to the Umschlagplatz every day. The reason for joining the Jewish police, first of all, was based on the false promises of the Germans that policemen and their families would be saved. In the Warsaw ghetto the Jewish police was headed by Jakub Szerynski; during the 'Grossaktion' (the main liquidation campaign in the summer of 1942), the Jewish Fighting Organization issued a death warrant on him, and he was to be executed on 20th August 1942 by Izrael Kanal. The attack failed, Szerynski was only wounded, and in January 1943 he committed suicide.
 

Rachel Persitz

Rachel Persitz
Kiev
Ukraine
Interviewer: Zhanna Litinskaya
Date of interview: September 2002

My grandmother and grandfather on my mother's side, Haim Lagotskiy and Riva Lagotskaya, lived in the small town of Chernobyl, Kiev province, in the 1860s. The town had Ukrainian and Jewish inhabitants. There were 30 or 40 Jewish families. They were craftsmen and tradesmen: shoemakers, tinsmiths, carpenters, and so on. There was a synagogue and a cheder in town. My grandmother got married at 16. Their older daughter, Rohl, was born around 1884 when my grandmother was 18 years old. Then there came the sons Meyr, Zisl and Gersh and the daughters Bella, my mother, and Zlata.

My grandfather's family was very poor. My grandfather was a worker. He could build a brick house, construct a stove; and he was a good joiner and carpenter. He worked for richer people: merchants, the bourgeois and landlords. He was extremely honest and decent. Once he was replacing floors and discovered a treasure of jewelry and ancient golden coins. He immediately called the master showing him what he had found. The master thanked my grandfather and generously gave him one golden coin. He was very happy about the treasure and about my grandfather's honesty. My grandmother couldn't forget this incident for a few years and said, 'You should have taken a few coins, look how poor we are!' My grandfather replied, 'How could I lie to my poretz [lord in Yiddish]?'

My grandmother Riva was a housewife. Her children worked from their early childhood. The boys were helping their father and later studied to be shoemakers. The girls helped Riva about the house. They had a garden and a kitchen garden and kept livestock. They lived in a small house with a thatched roof. I remember this house well. There was a stove in the center of it. There were two rooms and a small kitchen. There were dried herbs and bunches of onions on the walls. There was a cellar to store potatoes and other food for winter. The furniture in the house was plain: tables, chairs, beds and a big wooden wardrobe. There were a few religious books in the house. The boys received elementary religious education. They went to cheder. Later they all became shoemakers.

My grandparents were very religious. Every morning my grandfather put on his tallit and tefillin and prayed, pronouncing strange words, as I recall. [The interviewee is talking about prayers in Hebrew.] He never worked on Saturdays, even if his employer wasn't very happy about it. They observed the Sabbath. My grandmother always tried to cook something delicious, even during the hard years of the Civil War [1918-1921]. Sometimes we just had plain potato pancakes, but they were so good. They celebrated all religious holidays: Pesach, Rosh Hashanah and Chanukkah.

My mother's older brother, Meyr, born in 1885, and his wife, Haya, lived in Chernobyl. His older son, Shaya, perished at the front during World War II. His second son, Zyunia, returned from the war as an invalid and died in 1954. Meyr, his wife and their two daughters were in Kustanai in evacuation. Meyr and Haya died in the middle of the 1960s. Their daughters, Sonia and Zhenia, live in Israel.

My mother's brother Zisl was born in 1887. During the war Zisl, his wife Rosa and their two daughters, Lisa and Sarah, evacuated to the Northern Caucasus. I don't know exactly what happened to them there - whether they perished in occupation or starved to death. They never returned from evacuation. Zisl's older son Zyunia was at the front and was awarded the 'Order of the Red Star'. He died in Israel in 1996.

My mother's younger brother Gershl was born in 1889. Before the beginning of the Great Patriotic War 1 he lived in Kiev with his wife Sorl, their daughters, Rosa and Eva, and their son Zyunia. Gershl was a shoemaker in Podol 2. When the war began only Eva and her two sons managed to go into evacuation. Gershl, his wife Sorl and Zyunia stayed in Kiev. Zyunia had tuberculosis and Gershl was afraid to move him. Rosa and her two children also stayed. They were all killed in Babi Yar 3. Eva and her sons returned to Kiev from evacuation. She worked in a bakery before the 1970s. She died in the middle of the 1990s. Her son Mark lives in Israel.

My mother's older sister Rohl died in an unknown epidemic before the Great Patriotic War. Her daughters Sonia, Zina and Basia live in Israel. We didn't keep in touch with them, so I don't have any information about them.

My mother's sister Zlata became a widow during World War II. Her husband perished at the front. He was a tailor before the war. They lived in Chernobyl. During the war Zlata and her son Zyunia were in evacuation. In the early 1970s Zlata, her son and his family moved to America. She died there shortly afterwards. Zyunia lives in Philadelphia now.

My mother, Bella Lagotskaya was born in 1892. She didn't get any education. She lived in Chernobyl with her parents and helped her mother with the housekeeping and gardening. When my mother turned 18 she left her parents' house. My grandfather Haim was very ill and couldn't provide for his big family any longer. His sons and his older daughter Rohl were living separately already, and my mother decided to go to Kiev. She became a seamstress in a tailor's shop, owned by Abram Persitz, the older brother of my father, Moshe Persitz.

I know hardly anything about my grandfather on my father's side, Samuel Persitz. I only know that he and my grandmother Riva lived in Simferopol, Crimea. My grandfather died before the revolution of 1917. My grandmother came to Kiev once, but I don't remember her.

I knew my father's brothers very well though. They all received religious education, finished cheder and were religious people. They didn't serve in the tsarist army. The service term was 25 years. Perhaps, they didn't go to the army because of their religious beliefs, or because they just didn't want to go. They bribed the authorities and were relieved from service.

My father's older brother Abram was born around 1880. Abram was married to a Jewish woman called Riva. He was a wealthy man before the revolution. He lived in a beautiful big apartment. His tailor's shop was still open during the NEP 4, but was expropriated later. Also, two other families got accommodation in Abram's apartment. This all had a dramatic impact on my uncle. He fell ill and died from a heart attack sometime in 1925. Abram had three sons: Mikhail, Boris and Shlema. His older sons graduated from the Kiev Polytechnic Institute and became engineers. His younger son, Shlema, studied at a technical college. During the war they were all in evacuation and returned to Kiev afterwards. Shlema died shortly after the war, and Mikhail and Boris died in the middle of the 1980s.

My father's other brother, Lazar, was born in 1885. Before the revolution of 1917 he lived with his family in a Siberian town, where he married a Jewish woman. He moved to Kiev in the early 1920s and lived with his brother Abram. Lazar was a tailor and made women's clothes. Lazar was in evacuation during the war, and then he returned to Kiev. He died in the early 1960s. Lazar's older daughter Lisa lives in Germany. His younger daughter Sonia died. Lazar's son Iosif was an engineer. In the late 1920s Iosif was sent to England by train, and he lived there several years. Later he lived and worked in Moscow, and now he lives in America.

My father was the same age as my mother. He was born in 1892. He lived with his older brother Abram and worked in his shop. He met my mother in this shop in 1910. My mother worked in the same shop and rented a room in Abram's house. They fell in love with each other.

My parents got married in 1911. They had a traditional Jewish wedding, although it was only a small one. The bride and bridegroom stood under the chuppah at the synagogue in Schekavitskaya street [this synagogue is still there]. There was a rabbi, and the closest relatives and friends were there. Abram paid for my mother's wedding gown and the rings. He covered all the other expenses for the wedding, too. This was all his support for the young couple. He probably wasn't very happy about Moshe marrying a poor girl whose parents didn't give her any dowry.

In the beginning my parents rented a small room in Podol 3. In 1912, after my older sister Genia was born, they moved to a small apartment. I was born there on 22nd July 1915. Our apartment was on the first floor of a three-storied building, owned by Karolina Korotkevich, a Polish woman. Karolina occupied a big three-bedroom apartment in the building. She owned a few houses in Podol. She was an older woman and had an executive manager to resolve all issues. They were small and shabby apartments that were rented by people with low income.

In the bigger room of our apartment there was an ancient wardrobe, a carved cupboard, a table and chairs, a sofa and a couch, where my sister and I were sleeping. In my parents' bedroom there were two beds. This furniture belonged to Karolina, but my father bought it from her piece by piece. There was a big stove in the kitchen. My mother cooked on it and baked bread. There was also a huge table there. My father worked at it. The Singer sewing machine was also there. After Abram lost his shop my father began to work at home. He became a highly professional ladies' tailor. He had many clients. My mother was helping my father with the ironing, lining and basting the parts together. I still have an image of it in my head: my father and mother working in the kitchen under the light of a kerosene lamp. We only got electricity in the middle of the 1920s. After the revolution the Soviet power dispossessed our landlady and forced her to move out of her apartment. The big family of a Bolshevik called Mikhailov moved into her apartment. Old Karolina got a small apartment in another street. Our apartment became state property.

During the revolution and the Civil War, when the power in Kiev was switching from the Reds 5, the Whites 6 and Denikin units 7 to military units of Simon Petliura 8, there were many pogroms in town. My mother took my sister and me to our grandmother Riva and grandfather Haim in Chernobyl. There were also bandits in Chernobyl, and we had to hide either in the attic or in the cellar of our grandparents' house. My sister was older and aware of the fearful reality. I didn't understand why we had to sit in the cellar when there were beautiful fields, woods and the Pripiat River outside. We stayed in Chernobyl for almost a year. When the Soviet power was established in Kiev we returned to Kiev. My grandfather Haim died in the early 1920s. My grandmother Riva visited us in Kiev several times when my mother was still alive. When the war began, and my mother's brothers, Meyr and Zisl, were preparing for evacuation, they decided to leave my grandmother behind. They didn't think that anybody would harm an old woman. She stayed in Chernobyl and was shot by the fascists in October 1941 along with other Jews in town.

My parents, and especially my father, were very religious. On Saturdays and on holidays my father went to the synagogue in Schekavitskaya Street while my mother and I waited for him at home. Every day he put on his tallit and prayed. On Friday my mother made a festive dinner for Saturday: stuffed fish, chicken broth and challah. In the evening we changed our clothes and got together at the table watching my mother light candles and my father say a prayer. My parents didn't work on Saturday. In the evening we all sat at the table to celebrate Sabbath. We also celebrated all Jewish holidays. I remember my parents buying matzah and bringing it home in big baskets, covered with white cloth. We also had special Pesach dishes that mother took out before the holiday. Mother also did a general clean-up of the house before the holiday. She cleaned the windows and hung fancy linen curtains. She covered the table with white crocheted starched tablecloth. My mother did everything herself and managed fine - we never had any help for the housekeeping.

My mother believed that Pesach was the most important Jewish holiday. She cooked the best food: fish, chicken, chicken broth with dumplings, rich stew and lots of pastries. There were dishes made from matzah on the table and sweet kosher wine that my father bought in the Jewish kosher store. My father conducted the seder telling us about the exodus of Jews from Egypt, about their journey across the desert under the guidance of Moses. My father used to hide a small piece of matzah, and my sister and I had to find it. We celebrated Rosh Hashanah, Purim and Chanukkah. My parents fasted on Yom Kippur. Sometimes we got invitations from Uncle Abram. When we grew up he took to liking my sister and me. He only had sons, and he always wanted to have a daughter. At Chanukkah Abram always invited us, gave my sister and me some money and treated us to candy and chocolates.

I began to study at a Russian school when I was 8, although there was a Jewish school in our neighborhood. Genia also studied at this school. Our parents always wanted us to get a higher education, and all higher educational institutions were Russian. Therefore we studied at the Russian school to avoid language problems in the future. There were Russian, Ukrainian, Polish and Jewish children at school. My classmates were very nice. We didn't care about nationality. We also had teachers of different nationalities. We were taught by our parents and teachers that all people were equal. My favorite subject was history. I also liked Ukrainian literature. Our teacher was Olga Kosach, the sister of a great Ukrainian poetess, Lesia Ukrainka 9. She told us a lot about Lesia and her attitude towards people. She had many friends of various nationalities. Olga was my favorite teacher.

I became a Young Octobrist 10, and a pioneer when I was in 4th grade. We were admitted to the pioneers in Kreschatik in the center of Kiev, near the monument of Karl Marx. My father and mother supported all our hobbies. My mother made me a fancy white blouse and a blue skirt on the occasion of my admission to the pioneers. We went to parades on 1st of May and October Revolution Day 11. My parents didn't celebrate state holidays. They followed the Jewish traditions and celebrated Jewish holidays. But they didn't have anything against our enthusiastic attitude towards the ideas of communism. We respected and understood the fact that our parents celebrated Jewish holidays. However, we secretly believed them to be retrogrades in their faith.

In winter 1931 my mother fell ill. She had a weak heart, but she tried to ignore it. But that time she was taken to hospital. She died of an infarction soon afterwards. My mother was taken from the morgue of the hospital to the cemetery, and no Jewish rituals were observed. But the rabbi said the last prayer over her grave. The cemetery was a few kilometers from town, and we walked all the way. My father was crying and grieving, but after a few months he brought another Jewish woman into the house and married her. My stepmother's name was Sorl, and she was the complete opposite of my mother. She was wicked and greedy. My sister Genia finished a course in something, I forget what it was exactly, and got a job as a secretary at the Kievenergo company. Genia was straightforward and tough when she was young, and she said that she couldn't stay at home with our stepmother. Genia moved to our mother's younger sister, Zlata. I stayed with my father because I felt sorry for him. He always tried to give me some money or food, but he always tried to do it so that my stepmother wouldn't notice.

In 1931 I finished 7th grade and went to work at the garment factory. I was a laborer. In 1933 there was a famine 12 in Ukraine, caused by the Bolsheviks. The situation in Kiev was a bit better than in other Ukrainian towns and villages, and many people came here looking for jobs and food. In the mornings, on my way to work, I often saw people sitting or lying in a park. It was hard to say whether they were dead or alive. At that time Sorl stopped giving me any food, although I gave my father part of my wages. I often went to Aunt Zlata for dinner. She cooked delicious meals, even in those hard times.

In autumn 1934 I entered the Rabfak 13, a school for young working people, at Kiev State University to finish my secondary education. In order to enter a higher educational institution I needed to complete my secondary education. During the day I worked at the garment factory in Podol, and in the evening I went to school, which was located in the city center near the university. I finished school and entered the Faculty of History at Kiev State University in 1937. There was no anti-Semitism back then. I passed all exams and was admitted.

I liked to study. I quit work and received a small stipend. My father divorced Sorl. Genia married Bencion Obomelik, an engineer. He was her colleague. She moved in with her husband. My father worked, I received a stipend, and we could manage all right. I had many friends at university. We didn't care about nationality. We just didn't think about it. We celebrated Soviet holidays and went to the cinema or theater together. I became a Komsomol 14 member.

I studied ancient history, the Middle Ages and contemporary history at the university. I was always fond of history. We spent much time studying Marx, Engels and Lenin. We also studied works by Stalin about the building of communism in our country and the advantages of communist society. I spent much time at the central library. Once the librarian gave me Lenin's 'Letter to the Congress' in which he criticized Stalin, his rudeness and ruthlessness, and recommended not to elect him General Secretary of the Party. She probably gave me this work by mistake. This was sensitive information at the time and only became known to the public after the denunciation of the cult of Stalin [at the Twentieth Congress of the Soviet Communist Party] 15. This work implanted strong doubts in the official propaganda of Stalin, stating that he was a follower of Lenin's ideas and his integral friend. I kept my doubts to myself. It wasn't safe to share such ideas at the time. It was in 1937 when arrests of leading party and government officials began. [The interviewee is referring to the Great Terror.] 16 The authorities also arrested common people. One word or joke was enough to make accusations against innocent people.

We read in newspapers and heard on the radio about the arrests of political leaders. We, Komsomol members, had ultimate trust in the Soviet power, but we were shocked and didn't know what to believe anymore. We thought that it was true if newspapers wrote about such things, because we thought the Soviet power wouldn't lie to its people. Our university lecturers also suffered from repression. At some time we even had a visiting lecturer from Moscow to teach us, because there were no specialists left at the university. Yanolskiy, a history teacher, another history teacher, both Jews, a geography teacher and many others were arrested. They were accused of the distortion of the guidelines of the party and the government, betrayal of communist ideas and God knows what other sins. These were all talented teachers and honest and true party members. Some of them came back, others vanished in Stalin's camps.

There was an old history teacher called Konstantin Shtefa. He was German and a communist. In 1938 he was arrested and kept behind prison bars for two or three months. He was released later, but he didn't return to the university. During the war Shtefa lived under occupation. He became editor of the newspaper Kievlianin 17, which was a speaking-tube of the fascists. Shtefa disclosed his anti-Soviet and anti-Semitic self. He condemned the 'zhydy-and-Bolshevik' power, and appealed to Kievites to support Germans and report on Jews, Bolsheviks and partisans. When the Germans were retreating Shtefa left with them. He moved to America. He died there in 1958. Shtefa's son was arrested after the war. He didn't agree with his father's views. He spent ten years in prison camps. He was released and rehabilitated later. He got married in Middle Asia and moved to Germany recently. I know all this from my neighbors. They had known this family.

In 1941 I did my last year at university. On 22nd June I went to university to take my final exam. I remember walking in the streets in the morning when all of a sudden I had a premonition of something terrible to happen. I didn't know that Hitler attacked the Soviet Union, but I walked enjoying the sights of Kiev, thinking that it could all be destroyed because a war was inevitable. When I came to the university building, everybody was listening to the speech of Molotov 18 on the radio. We passed our final exams, but we didn't receive our diplomas. Instead we obtained certificates of graduation from university. I obtained my diploma on the basis of this certificate when I returned to Kiev after the war.

My sister's husband, Bencion, was summoned to the army on the second day of the war. Genia and I decided that we had to evacuate, and Genia received a boat ticket for the evacuation of all members of her family. My father didn't want to leave. He was convinced that the Germans were civilized people and weren't going to do Jews any harm. He ignored whatever my sister and I told him and stayed in Kiev. Kiev was bombed, and we dug up a shelter in the yard where we could hide during air raids.

At the beginning of July we boarded the boat and sailed down the Dnieper River. There was my sister Genia, I, my Aunt Zlata and her son, and my three cousins: Sonia, Zina and Basia, the daughters of Aunt Rohl. Zina and Basia were single, and Sonia's husband was at the front. Sonia's little son was also traveling with us. In Dnepropetrovsk we changed for a train heading to Krasnodarskiy region. We were traveling under terrible conditions - in freight railcars for coal transportation. Genia had brought her and her husband's clothes, and when the train stopped we got off to exchange clothes for food. We reached our destination and settled down in Nefyodovka village, in Krasnodarskiy region [about 1,500 km from Kiev]. I didn't want to stay there. There was no school in Nefyodovka, and I didn't have work. Genia and I went to Timashovskaya village. I worked for a few weeks at the local school. Aunt Zlata and her sisters stayed in Nefyodovka. When the Germans began to approach Krasnodar, they moved on to the Caucasus and settled down in Baku.

When we were in Timashovkaya we received a letter from my father. He wrote to us that Genia's husband Bencion Obomelik perished in the first weeks of the war, during the defense of Kiev. My father regretted that he hadn't gone with us.

Genia and I managed to leave Krasnodar when the Germans were very close. We stayed at the railway station several days and nights until we could get on a train. At the end of October 1941 we reached Chimkent in Kazakhstan. I was sent to work in one of the villages in South Kazakhstan. I worked there for a few weeks until I was summoned to the regional education department where they told me that I was to be replaced by a Kazakh teacher. I was sent to the Russian village of Pervomayskoye. Genia and I stayed in this village until 1944. Life was very hard. We didn't have anything to sell and were starving. I had a very small salary, and Genia worked at the collective farm receiving some cards that couldn't be exchanged for anything. Genia went to the mill where she could get some grain wastes. We made bread from them. Later we got a plot of land to grow vegetables. It saved us. We were fighting to survive during evacuation and didn't have any possibility to observe Jewish traditions.

In 1944 we decided to return to Kiev. It was necessary to receive a residence permit 19 for Kiev to go there. It was the period of the beginning of anti-Semitism, and Genia and I couldn't obtain any permit. We left for Kiev without any permit.

Our neighbors told us how my father perished. When Kiev was occupied by the fascists, Sorl's sisters, Lisa and Ania, came to him. They thought it would be easier for them to live through the occupation if they were together. On 29th September, when all Jews from Kiev were taken to Babi Yar, my father, Lisa and Ania stayed at home. They decided to hide, but the wife of an old Bolshevik, Mikhailov, one of their neighbors, reported on them. At the beginning of October 1941 the police came to take them to Babi Yar.

There were other people living in our apartment. Veterans of the war and widows of those who perished at the front had a priority in getting accommodations, so I understood that I shouldn't expect to get an apartment soon. Genia couldn't prove that her husband had perished at the front. My father had a death notification but it vanished, of course. Genia got a job at the company where she had worked before the war and received a room at the hostel. We couldn't prove that we were from Kiev and couldn't obtain a residence permit. Genia got registered at the hostel. I obtained a residence permit to reside with the daughter of my father's brother Lazar.

In 1944, when we returned to Kiev, I went to work at a Russian secondary school in the center of the city. I was a history teacher at this school for 30 years. In 1946 I married Abram Zeltser. We met at the polyclinic when he came to visit a dentist. He was a Jew and a war invalid. I wanted my sister to sort out her personal life and wanted to move out. Abram was a very ill and selfish man, and our marriage lasted less than a year. We divorced in 1947, and I returned to my sister in the hostel. I didn't see him again. He died in the early 1950s. Genia stayed single and we lived together.

In 1948 Genia received a room in a communal apartment. In the middle of the 1950s she managed to obtain the certificate that said that her husband had perished at the front, and we received a small apartment.

The first years after the war were extremely difficult. It was as difficult as in evacuation. I didn't even have clothes for work. Kievenergo, the company where my sister was working, received humanitarian aid from the USA, and I got a coat. Life was slowly improving. We didn't earn much, but we managed somehow.

Life was very difficult in the late 1940s and early 1950s, the period of anti-Semitic campaigns: the Doctors' Plot 20 and the struggle against anti-Semitism. Everywhere - on the radio, in newspapers, on public transport and in stores - Jews were abused. Many of them lost their jobs and had to leave Kiev. Our collective at school was very good, and I didn't face any abuse at work. We had a very good director, and his deputy was a very nice intellectual, too. We had to discuss the current documents issued by the Party at party meetings at school, but it was a mere formality. I didn't become a party member. It was a verbal requirement of the officials that history teachers had to be communists. I didn't want to become a communist, because I believed that communists and Stalin caused our country lots of troubles. They couldn't force me to become a party member and I had excellent performance records, so the authorities just left me alone.

In 1953 Stalin died. People around were crying and so was I. We were crying out of fear of the future. The 20th Congress denunciated the cult of Stalin. We [history teachers] were kind of at a loss. We didn't know what we were supposed to tell the students. Later we attended workshops and had school programs changed, allowing us to speak about what Stalinism was like openly. We spoke half-truths about the crimes of Stalin and about the lack of principles of his companions, but we never had any doubts about the correctness of the idea of communism. We were telling children that they were the happiest children living in the best country in the world, in the country of socialism, when children in capitalist countries were starving and dying from hard work.

I remember very well the vacuum accumulated around Jews during the Six-Day- War 21 war in Israel. There were six Jewish teachers in our school, and we discussed the situation in Israel silently behind closed doors and with phone receivers removed from the phones for security reasons. One of our colleagues had a sister in Israel that had lived there since the 1920s. She told us emigration to Israel was allowed. I tried to convince my sister to move to Israel, but she was a party member and a convinced communist. She was against emigration and believed that there could be nothing better than our communist motherland.

When Aunt Zlata and her son were leaving for Israel she condemned them and didn't even say good-bye to them. When our cousins Sonia, Basia and Zina were leaving for Israel Genia met with them in a park in Kiev. She was afraid that she could be seen by somebody and that they would report her to the party organization, because this might mean that she sympathized with them and supported them. At that time, one could be fired or expelled from the Party for that. My sister was afraid that she might be suspected of not being faithful to the ideals of communism.

Genia was a very active communist and secretary of the party organization. She dedicated her life to meetings, parades and so on. It didn't even occur to her that life might be different, that we were young and one could get married and have a family. Genia and I never got married again. We often went to the cinema and theater. Sometimes we went to sanatoriums and recreation homes. We celebrated Soviet holidays and went to parades. We have always been atheists. But, in the memory of our parents, we tried to remember Jewish holidays. I recall how, after the war, we stood in line to buy matzah at some private bakery. We kept observing Jewish traditions whenever we had the opportunity. We did it secretly. If somebody from Genia's party unit or my school had found out, we would have been fired or arrested. We couldn't celebrate Sabbath, because it was a working day at school. We've always fasted on Yom Kippur, remembering our relatives.

There is no anti-Semitism on a state level in independent Ukraine. We have all conditions for a renaissance of the Jewish nation. We are old people now. Genia is very ill. She is confined to bed, and as thin as a mummy. She's like a vegetable now.

Hesed provides great assistance to us. We get food packages and parcels. Besides, a nurse attends to my sister every day. I read Jewish newspapers and watch the Yahad program 22 on TV. I can say that I'm happy to see the Jewish way of life restored in Ukraine. I wish it weren't so late for my sister and me.

Glossary

1 Great Patriotic War

On 22 June 1941 at 5 o'clock in the morning Nazi Germany attacked the Soviet Union without declaring war. This was the beginning of the so-called Great Patriotic War.

2 Podol

The lower section of Kiev. It has always been viewed as the Jewish region of Kiev. In tsarist Russia Jews were only allowed to live in Podol, which was the poorest part of the city. Before World War II 90% of the Jews of Kiev lived there.

3 Babi Yar

Babi Yar is the site of the first mass shooting of Jews that was carried out openly by fascists. On 29th and 30th September 1941 33,771 Jews were shot there by a special SS unit and Ukrainian militia men. During the Nazi occupation of Kiev between 1941 and 1943 over a 100,000 people were killed in Babi Yar, most of whom were Jewish. The Germans tried in vain to efface the traces of the mass grave in August 1943 and the Soviet public learnt about mass murder after World War II.

4 NEP

The so-called New Economic Policy of the Soviet authorities was launched by Lenin in 1921. It meant that private business was allowed on a small scale in order to save the country ruined by the October Revolution and the Civil War. They allowed priority development of private capital and entrepreneurship. The NEP was gradually abandoned in the 1920s with the introduction of the planned economy.

5 Reds

Red (Soviet) Army supporting the Soviet authorities.

6 White Guards

A counter-revolutionary gang led by General Denikin, famous for their brigandry and anti-Semitic acts all over Russia; legends were told of their cruelty. Few survived their pogroms.

7 Denikin, Anton Ivanovich (1872-1947)

White Army general. During the Civil War he fought against the Red Army in the South of Ukraine.

8 Petliura, Simon (1879-1926)

Ukrainian politician, member of the Ukrainian Social Democratic Working Party, one of the leaders of Centralnaya Rada (Central Council), the national government of Ukraine (1917-1918). Military units under his command killed Jews during the Civil War in Ukraine. In the Soviet-Polish war he was on the side of Poland; in 1920 he emigrated. He was killed in Paris by the Jewish nationalist Schwarzbard in revenge for the pogroms against Jews in Ukraine.

9 Ukrainka, Lesia (1871-1913)

Ukrainian poet and dramatist. Ukrainka spent most of her life abroad struggling to recuperate from tuberculosis. Her principal plays, using themes from Western and classical literature, include Cassandra (1908) and In the Desert (1909). The Forest Song (1912) is her dramatic poem based on Slavic mythology.

10 Young Octobrist

In Russian Oktyabrenok, or 'pre-pioneer', designates Soviet children of seven years or over preparing for entry into the pioneer organization.

11 October Revolution Day

October 25 (according to the old calendar), 1917 went down in history as victory day for the Great October Socialist Revolution in Russia. This day is the most significant date in the history of the USSR. Today the anniversary is celebrated as 'Day of Accord and Reconciliation' on November 7.

12 Famine in Ukraine

In 1920 a deliberate famine was introduced in the Ukraine causing the death of millions of people. It was arranged in order to suppress those protesting peasants who did not want to join the collective farms. There was another dreadful deliberate famine in 1930-1934 in the Ukraine. The authorities took away the last food products from the peasants. People were dying in the streets, whole villages became deserted. The authorities arranged this specifically to suppress the rebellious peasants who did not want to accept Soviet power and join collective farms.

13 Rabfak

Educational institutions for young people without secondary education, specifically established by the Soviet power.

14 Komsomol

Communist youth political organization created in 1918. The task of the Komsomol was to spread of the ideas of communism and involve the worker and peasant youth in building the Soviet Union. The Komsomol also aimed at giving a communist upbringing by involving the worker youth in the political struggle, supplemented by theoretical education. The Komsomol was more popular than the Communist Party because with its aim of education people could accept uninitiated young proletarians, whereas party members had to have at least a minimal political qualification.

15 Twentieth Party Congress

At the Twentieth Congress of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union in 1956 Khrushchev publicly debunked the cult of Stalin and lifted the veil of secrecy from what had happened in the USSR during Stalin's leadership.

16 Great Terror (1934-1938)

During the Great Terror, or Great Purges, which included the notorious show trials of Stalin's former Bolshevik opponents in 1936-1938 and reached its peak in 1937 and 1938, millions of innocent Soviet citizens were sent off to labor camps or killed in prison. The major targets of the Great Terror were communists. Over half of the people who were arrested were members of the party at the time of their arrest. The armed forces, the Communist Party, and the government in general were purged of all allegedly dissident persons; the victims were generally sentenced to death or to long terms of hard labor. Much of the purge was carried out in secret, and only a few cases were tried in public 'show trials'. By the time the terror subsided in 1939, Stalin had managed to bring both the party and the public to a state of complete submission to his rule. Soviet society was so atomized and the people so fearful of reprisals that mass arrests were no longer necessary. Stalin ruled as absolute dictator of the Soviet Union until his death in March 1953.

17 Kievlianin

This newspaper was published by Germans during their occupation of Kiev from 1941-1943.

18 Molotov, V

P. (1890-1986): Statesman and member of the Communist Party leadership. From 1939, Minister of Foreign Affairs. On June 22, 1941 he announced the German attack on the USSR on the radio. He and Eden also worked out the percentages agreement after the war, about Soviet and western spheres of influence in the new Europe.

19 Residence permit

The Soviet authorities restricted freedom of travel within the USSR through the residence permit and kept everybody's whereabouts under control. Every individual in the USSR needed residential registration; this was a stamp in the passport giving the permanent address of the individual. It was impossible to find a job, or even to travel within the country, without such a stamp. In order to register at somebody else's apartment one had to be a close relative and if each resident of the apartment had at least 8 square meters to themselves.

20 Doctors' Plot

The Doctors' Plot was an alleged conspiracy of a group of Moscow doctors to murder leading government and party officials. In January 1953, the Soviet press reported that nine doctors, six of whom were Jewish, had been arrested and confessed their guilt. As Stalin died in March 1953, the trial never took place. The official paper of the party, the Pravda, later announced that the charges against the doctors were false and their confessions obtained by torture. This case was one of the worst anti-Semitic incidents during Stalin's reign. In his secret speech at the Twentieth Party Congress in 1956 Khrushchev stated that Stalin wanted to use the Plot to purge the top Soviet leadership.

21 Six-Day-War

The first strikes of the Six-Day-War happened on June 5th, 1967 by the Israeli Air Force. The entire war only lasted 132 hours and 30 minutes. The fighting on the Egyptian side only lasted four days, while fighting on the Jordanian side lasted three. Despite the short length of the war, this was one of the most dramatic and devastating wars ever fought between Israel and all of the Arab nations. This war resulted in a depression that lasted for many years after it ended. The Six-Day-War increased tension between the Arab nations and the Western World because of the change in mentalities and political orientations of the Arab nations.

22 Yahad program

Weekly Jewish program on Ukrainian national television.

Alena Munkova

Alena Munkova 
Prague 
Czech Republic 
Interviewer: Zuzana Strouhova 
Date of interview: October 2005-March 2006

Mrs. Alena Munkova, née Synkova, was born in 1926 in Prague into the family of dentist Emil Synek, who was politically and professionally active, and his brother Karel was head of a well-known publishing house and bookstore in Prague, which he took over from his father, Adolf Synek. When Alena Munkova-Synkova was ending Grade One, her mother died of cancer. Her father remarried, but his second wife also died of cancer five years later. Right before the ban on mixed marriages 1, her father married for a third time. Because Emil Synek was protected by this marriage, the first to be summoned for transport to a concentration camp was Mrs. Munkova's older brother, Jiri, who didn't report for transport, and survived the war in hiding. Mrs. Munkova was summoned some time later. She left for Terezin 2, where she was protected from further transport to Auschwitz by the fact that she was considered to be a half-breed. After the war she returned to Prague, where she lived for some time with her stepmother, who had also survived the war, even though she was arrested by the Gestapo along with Mrs. Munkova's father, apparently on the basis of some denunciation, and both ended up in a concentration camp. Her father, however, died in Auschwitz. She graduated from the Faculty of Journalism at the University of Political and Social Sciences, and started working on animated films at Barrandov [a well-known film studio in Prague], from where she was however thrown out due to her Jewish origins. But after several detours she finally returned to film, and until retirement worked as a dramaturge in animated and puppet films. Today she lives in Prague with her husband, Jiri Munk, an architect, and is still very active.

 

Family background

My paternal grandfather was named Adolf Synek. He was born on 1st November 1871. According to records at the Jewish community in Prague, it was in Mitrovice, in German written Mitrovitz. But I don't know, translated into Czech it could be Mlada Vozice, by Tabor. All the Syneks were from southern Bohemia, from around Tabor. I came across this publication that came out not long ago, about old companies from this region, where there were lots of Syneks. It was probably this regional name there. Grandpa's brother Bohumil, however, wrote it with an 'i,' which was most likely a question of birth certificates. When I retired I also had a problem with it, because some of my documents have an ''' and others a 'y.' As far as I know, my father's grandparents were from Mlada Vozice, but I don't know anything more about them. They probably weren't big landowners, I'd say that more likely they were agricultural workers or merchants. I don't know, I'd be guessing. Grandpa died on 20th January 1943 in Terezin, where he went on 20th November 1942.

My grandfather definitely didn't have a university education, he was a tradesman, and apparently had studied somewhere in Vienna. But his mother tongue was Czech. He then worked his entire life as a book-seller and publisher, the two were usually connected back then. He became famous by having the monopoly on Hasek's Schweik 3. Then he had this edition named 'Minor Works of Major Authors' or something like that, which were classics, beginning with Thomas Mann and ending with I don't know who. [Mann, Thomas (1875 - 1955): German writer, philanthropist and essayist, awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1929.] I don't know how Grandpa came by that publishing house, but it was in the city ward of Prague 7, on Letna, on Janovskeho Street, which I think is still named that. I remember going to visit him as a small child. The bookstore was down on the ground floor, so I would always stand on the windowsill, and he'd always take me down off the window.

Uncle Karel then took over the publishing house, sometime in 1936, and moved it all to Vodickova Street. It's the store opposite the street named V Jame. Besides the publishing house and bookstore, there was also this so- called 'Karel Synek's Children's Corner,' where there were some toys, too.

My grandfather had two brothers, Bohumil and Rudolf. Bohumil Sinek was born on 19th October 1872, and on 10th July 1942 went to Terezin. He died in Treblinka, but when, I don't know. Rudolf Synek was born on 5th January 1876, and on 25th April 1942 went into the transport, and they took him to Warsaw. I never heard of anything going to Warsaw before. To Lodz 4, there yes, those went in 1941. But this is what it says in the records at the Jewish community [in Prague]. With a cross, that he died there. No one knows when, but probably in 1943. If he left for there already in April 1942, then he couldn't have survived longer than that.

All I know about his brothers is that they were probably members of the wealthier class, because Bohumil owned at least one building, which I was then supposed to inherit. This was because Bohumil didn't have children of his own. But there was probably more than one building. I remember that he lived on the corner of what was back then named Sanitrova Street. But the building he owned was somewhere else, on Bilkova Street.

I also remember that I was in that building when the funeral of T.G. Masaryk 5 was taking place. You see, the funeral procession was going to pass by there, so about fifty of us gathered there, from my point of view a huge number of people, there was all sorts of food served, and we watched. It was apparently all relatives, who I hadn't even known existed. I was about eight or nine years old at the time. Back then I had this feeling that those people didn't even have jobs. On the other hand, they were already older men, so I don't know. Perhaps they were some local businessmen, I don't know, I'd be making it up.

I don't know what Rudolf did. All I remember is that he had a large mustache. He had two daughters, Marta and Irma. Her [Irma's] husband was named Iltis, and after the war he was in charge of a magazine at the Jewish community. They had a daughter, Ruth. But then they divorced and Irma and Ruth moved away to Chile. And then I found out by chance, and it's not that long ago, that they both died in Israel. That they had moved, I don't know when and why, from Chile to Israel. After many long years, apparently. Marta was still here in Prague after the war, but I don't know anything at all about her. Suddenly she wasn't there anymore, most likely she died.

My grandmother was named Terezie, her maiden name was Löfflerova, and she was from somewhere in Slovakia. I don't know anything about her parents. But they probably weren't overly wealthy, because she went to Vienna to work as a servant. But that's just my hypothesis. Her education was most likely a basic one. She met Grandpa in Vienna, where she was working as a servant. That's where they probably got married, because my father, Emil Synek, was born there, but relatively soon they moved to Czechoslovakia.

She died in 1939 in a mental institution. Her sister and their mother were also mentally ill, so I've got this good family medical history. I don't know exactly what she had, back then they probably didn't classify things. Maybe it was some sort of dementia or something like that. I myself, as a ten-year-old, saw visible signs of lack of concentration and distance from reality in her. And I know that she had a horrible clutter in this large embroidered bag that ladies carried back then. So there were already some seeds of schizophrenia or some nervous disease there. Otherwise she was exceptionally kind and affectionate, and saw herself in her grandchildren, as it usually is with grannies.

She's buried at the new Jewish cemetery in Prague, I've found this out only recently. At that time they weren't burying people at the old cemetery much anymore. But she doesn't have a tombstone, because in 1939 that was already forbidden. I'm going to have to have one made. Whether she herself lived in some Jewish fashion, that I don't know, we didn't talk about things like that at home at all.

The Synek family was completely assimilated. It's true that I didn't see my grandfather's brothers, Rudolf and Bohumil, so there I don't know. As far as Grandpa Adolf goes, I don't at all remember there being anything, him celebrating some holidays, although both we and Grandpa lived on Letna, close to each other, so I would most likely have noticed something. But I don't remember anything like that. All I know is that my father, who was very liberal, had me 'liberated' from religion classes, because he wanted, as he later told me, for me to one day choose for myself. But by me that was a mistake, because it belongs to one's education. And I remember that they kept it a secret from my grandfather. That apparently he'd have been upset, so obviously there were at least some traditions there. What's more, his two sons, both my father and my uncle Karel, married Christian women. With my uncle it was his first wife, with my father not until the second and third.

My grandfather on my mother's side was named Bohumil Steiner. He was born in 1871 in Kovansko, Nymburk region. But back then it fell under Kolin. He lived in Kolin, where he was in the textile business, I remember the store. He died on 20th October 1932, a year before the death of my mother, his daughter Marie. Probably in Kolin, because somewhere I had some documents about what Grandma had paid the funeral service, and that was all in Kolin. So he's most likely got to be somewhere in the old Jewish cemetery in Kolin.

My grandmother on my mother's side was named Hermina, née Fialova. She was born on 10th August 1869, so she was two years older than Grandpa, which was very unusual back then. On the contrary, men used to be for example twenty years older. I've also got a younger husband, so I'm continuing the 'tradition.' After Grandpa died, my grandmother moved with my mother's sister, Anna, from Kolin to Prague.

Exactly when I'm not sure, but it probably took a while for them to wind down the store. Because Grandpa had a textile store in Kolin, in this little street close to the town square. I remember that the entrance was right on the street, and in the courtyard there - it's as if I saw it in front of me even now - there were cobblestones, that had grass growing up between them. Back then, as a child, I was very interested as to why there was grass growing up between the cobblestones there. A colorful impression like that stays with you your whole life.

My grandmother and Aunt Anna also had some little store in Prague, in Smichov, but they went bankrupt right away. They then had it in Zizkov [a quarter of Prague], and again went bankrupt. I guess they weren't good at it, my grandmother had probably never done it. She died sometime during the war, most likely in 1942. I don't know if she had any siblings. I later lost contact with them, because after my first mother died, my father remarried, and although that second mother of mine was very kind, she was afraid of me having contact with that original family. But I used to go to Zizkov around once a year anyways. I remember that they lived at 5 Milicova Street. But as soon as I walked in, my grandmother would start weeping, because as soon as she'd see me, she'd right away feel sad that her daughter had died. I remember her as being very slight, this proper grandma, delicate. But that's probably a bit of a fabrication after all those years.

I remember my grandfather being very tall, and my grandma small. My mother and aunt were also relatively small, I probably inherited it from them. But Grandpa Steiner, he was tall. So at least my brother, Jiri, isn't such a shrimp. I used to envy him that a lot. But on the other hand, I've got my grandfather's eyes, their shape, setting, look, color. Our father had grey eyes, Mother was dark-eyed, but I've got quite intensely blue eyes after Grandpa. Genes are genes.

As far as my mother's parent's religiousness goes, there I don't remember anything. We used to go see Grandpa, I remember him playing with me and I used to get fabric scraps from him. And I know that Grandpa used to take my brother Jiri, who was five years older than I, with him to the fair, where he always used to display his wares. But I don't remember them celebrating any holidays, for example.

My father, Emil Synek, was born in Vienna, as I've mentioned, on 1st June 1894. He apprenticed as a dental technician, and then took some exams, so he was a dentist. He studied to be a dental technician and lab technician, and then wrote some exams, so he was a dentist. Which means that he could pull teeth and in general do everything on the level of a dental surgeon. He had his own large dental practice on Letna. He was also very active on the dental panel, and lectured and I don't know what all else. He was very active in his profession, and was always educating himself and studying dozens of professional magazines. I think that he was one of the first ones here to have an X-ray machine. I remember that it was from Siemens, that company supplied it to us from Germany. But he wasn't a physician, he was a dentist.

By the way, he was very popular, because he used to fix teeth for the Sparta soccer team 6 for free. It was in general characteristic of him that he fixed a lot of people's teeth for free, when they didn't have money. He used to say that he'd make it up on the rich ones. These days he wouldn't be able to exist, he'd go out of business within a year. He had a strong sense of social responsibility, which was common in rich Jewish families.

My father was in the army during World War I, but he never told us where and for how long. But I do know for sure that he told us that he was in uniform in 1918, when Austrian emblems were being torn down. That revolution in 1918 was a big experience for him. But he probably didn't spend much time in the army, because he was wounded in some way. Even though who knows how it was, because my father was quite dead set against war, he'd always been an anti-militarist.

My father had one brother, Karel. He was somewhat younger, I think he was born sometime around 1896. He married Vlasta, née Kolarova. She apprenticed as a dental technician at my father's where she met my uncle. Vlasta wasn't Jewish, so my uncle would have survived the war thanks to that mixed marriage, but they divorced because of property. Probably in 1940 or 1941. My aunt was probably afraid to live with a Jew. I wouldn't say that it was only for the sake of appearances, because after that they didn't live together anymore. I think that my uncle then lived with his father, but I don't know exactly. He used to come to our place for lunch. Already before his departure for Terezin, my uncle had open tuberculosis - I remember that we always used to wash all the dishes with permanganate - and he died of this disease in Terezin, in 1943.

Karel and Vlasta had two daughters, René and Milena. René is a year younger than I, she was born on 23rd September 1927. I remember that when we were in public school, we'd always walk to school together, because they also lived on Letna. René then married Igor Korolkov, who was from a Russian émigré family, and after the war they moved to Holland together. She's still alive, in Amsterdam, and her husband died two years ago. Before moving away, René was a seamstress by trade, and then studied at the Faculty of Philosophy, but didn't finish. In Amsterdam she then had a large fashion studio with many employees, where they used to make higher-quality clothing.

The second daughter, Milena, married name Kuthejlova, was born in January 1937, I think. She graduated from economics at university and worked in television, where she worked as an editor for magazines about TV programs. I think that she's perhaps still there now, as a retiree - she's eleven years younger than I - and works in the library. I don't know exactly.

My cousins didn't go onto the transport during the war, because they were half-breeds. Few people know that according to the Nuremberg Laws 7, the year 1935 was a defining line for children from mixed families. Children that were born before 1935 and weren't registered at the Jewish community, which both my cousins weren't - this also shows how religiously inclined our family was - were therefore so-called Aryan half-breeds. Children born before 1935 who were registered at the Jewish community were so-called Jewish half-breeds. And children that were born after 1935 were Jewish half- breeds, whether they were registered or not. I know this because I myself was considered to also be a half-breed, which saved my life. As far as religion goes, as I've indicated, Uncle Karel didn't live in any particularly Jewish fashion, he didn't observe anything at all. I don't know how deeply he felt his Jewish origin, but the Germans then made sure of reminding him of it.

We of course saw my uncle's family, the family stuck together. I also used to see my cousin René quite often. My father was at one time in the Zinvnostenska Party 8, because he was for the middle of the road as a matter of principle, and his brother, Karel, apparently used to try to convince him to vote for the National Socialists. But I don't know how it ended up. My father was perhaps even active in that Zivnostenska Party within the scope of Prague 7, but I don't know anything exact. He was also very active on the Board of Dentistry, where he used to lecture and perhaps even had some sort of function, I don't know what kind.

My father was in general very sociable, quite often he'd go out in the evening, to cafés and so on. Within the scope of these groups, as an eleven- year-old, I used to play in some theater and used to attend Sokol 9. There I also had my first conflict, when they yelled 'Jewess' at me. My father was active in the Czech-Jewish Association 10, assimilated Jews that identified with the Czech nation. They published the Rozvoj weekly, which my father subscribed to.

My mother was named Marie, née Steinerova. She was born on 9th August 1898 in Kolin - she was four years younger than my father - and died before the war, in 1933, of cancer. As I then found out, her father had also died of cancer, a year before her.

How did she and my father meet? I don't know, my mother was from Kolin and my father from Prague, but back then couples apparently used to meet through all sorts of matchmakers, and it was said - don't take this completely seriously - that my father needed a rich bride so that he could start his dental practice. Up till then my mother had been at home, as was right and proper for young ladies back then. She definitely didn't have any sort of university education, but she played the piano beautifully. She was quite a melancholic, and used to play for days on end. I don't have any idea what sort of high school education she had either. Maybe someone used to come and give her piano lessons. That would have been appropriate for that social class. Young ladies knew how to cook, sew and play the piano.

I don't even know what her religious inclinations were like, I was six when she died - it was at the end of Grade One - she'd already been ill for the last two years.

My mother had one sister, named Anna Schwelbova. She was born on 10th December 1904. She was married about three times, and with one of her husbands, some Neumann, she had a son, Zdenek, who was two years older than I. I think that Neumann, but that I'm not sure of, maybe it was Schwelba, was a barber or hairdresser, something like that. Anna, her son and her mother, my grandmother Hermina Steinerova, went onto the transport already at the beginning of 1942, and maybe didn't even go through Terezin, but straight away somewhere further on. I think that they died somewhere in Poland.

Growing up

My name is Alena Munkova, and I was born on 24th September 1926. I was born in Prague, and besides Terezin, I've never lived anywhere else. I've got one brother, who was born in 1921. He was born on 26th November. His real name is Jiri Synek, but he's known by his artistic name of Frantisek Listopad [Listopad, Frantisek (b. 1921): real name Jiri Synek, Czech poet and writer of prose]. I'm giving his artistic name, because he's quite popular under his pseudonym abroad as well as here. He's had several books published, and also does theater.

My parents had one more child, born before me, but it soon died. So I don't have any other siblings, not even step-siblings. Because my father married two more times, but didn't have any children with any of those women, and neither did they have any children from previous marriages. They were divorced and childless when they married him.

My childhood is much interwoven with Letna, where I lived. I really was rooted in that sidewalk there. The way they say a person has roots in land, here it was the sidewalk, with its paving stones. I knew all the store owners on Letna, I used to run to the park there, and to Stromovka [Park]. And the loss of that place where you grew up - and certainly it's different for everyone - can't be renewed again. A person pretends a bit, but it's gone. After the war I did return to Letna, but everything was different. But to this day, when I walk by Letna, I feel a twinge. To this day, I smell that aroma, what it smelled like there. I remember colors a lot, and smells perhaps even more. I think that childhood forms a person, whether he wants it or not. Or also deforms.

So before the war, Letna was my whole life. I've got this memory of our apartment building's courtyard. It's still there, No. 1, we were on the ground floor, on the corner. Back then it was Belcrediho Avenue, now it's Milady Horakove, if I'm not mistaken. Then they made it into a bank, and now I think there's a KFC there. From bad to worse. Back then, when you entered the building, and I even think that the doors are still almost the same, in horrible condition, there on the end of this L-shaped hallway, was the entrance to our apartment. But on the other side, right after the apartment door, was another door, which led into the waiting room and into the clinic. So the entire ground floor was divided among my father's dental practice and our apartment.

Then there was of course a courtyard, where I used to play. People used to hang carpets there, there were these two small trees, and it was all quite grimy. And on the ground floor of the building there was a man with a junk shop, named Andrle. He was a mysterious figure, and I never had the courage to go down into the basement. By the way, back then those apartments had toilets in the hall, not in the apartments. But the toilet was of course only ours.

I don't remember us having a maidservant in that first era, because my mother was at home, and there was a building caretaker there who used to do things, and someone also used to come over and do the laundry. So maybe there was some sort of help, some sort of cleaners and so on. My memories of that are of course very foggy by now. But a servant as such wouldn't even have had anyplace to live there.

Before I started going to school I was at home, but from what I've been told, my older brother Jiri attended French nursery school that last year before he went to school. But I remember being in Brevnov with my mother, and I even know about where the staircase was that she used to lead me up to dance school. I was five at the time. In one of those dance schools for little children I was even supposedly supposed to play a part in some theater, back then it was the German Theater, which today is the State Opera beside the main train station. But my father forbade it, that he didn't want me to grow up to be in the theater. Despite his being such a liberal, something conservative inside him reared its head. I remember being terribly sad because of that. I guess my mother didn't succeed in forcing the issue, or didn't want to, I don't know.

I don't remember any family vacations or trips, that's already quite foggy, maybe my brother would remember, he is five years older, after all. All I remember are the trips to Grandpa's in Kolin.

Then I started Grade One. From this time I remember that an apprentice from my father's lab used to come get me after school. I would always come with untied shoelaces, so he'd always tie them for me. I've got a very strong memory of this. The apprentice would kneel and tie my shoes. That's quite cute. I don't know if we always had gym class, or why I didn't have them tied. But back then people wore lace-up ankle boots, not sandals. I think that by then my mother was quite ill, and so no one was really taking care of me much. That it's the result of there being no one to tell me: 'You've got to tie them yourself.' That's why I'm talking about it, not because of those shoes. That I was actually a bit of an outsider, not on purpose, but because of the situation that existed in our family.

But that was given by the fact that our mother was dying, and I think that the cancer lingered on quite long. I remember being in some room, in some dining room, and my mother is lying in the next room, and Grandma Hermina, who'd come for a visit is with her, and my mother is weeping horribly. They didn't know that I was listening. And my mother is saying, 'What will become of the children, what will become of the children?' And Grandma is consoling her.

That was a horrible experience for me. For one, I didn't want them to know that I could hear it, and then, for a child, suddenly something opens up in front of you, you don't even know its exact scope, because the words aren't completely filled with content, but despite that you know that it's something terrible. That it's something horrible, unjust, cruel, something that you can't defend yourself against. That was a very terribly strong moment for me at such a tender age. I was six then. Later I even wrote this poem about it. I also remember how horrible it seemed to me when then our teacher announced it to the class, and said, 'Your poor classmate's...' It was awful. Even though she probably thought that that was all right, she didn't know how else to react. You can't judge that at all.

By the way, that teacher was named Helena Tumova, and she was an old maid, because during the First Republic 11 teachers were usually single, unmarried women. I remember her being very strict, but everything that I know how to do, I know from those first years when she taught us. Everything that I know in Czech, I know from her. It was a perfect foundation.

I don't remember what went on after my mother's death, it's a blank spot for me. All I remember is us moving to another apartment. This is because our father remarried, but that second wife also died of cancer five years later. That must have been something insane for my father, an absolute train wreck. I was twelve, so it was most likely in 1937 or 1938. That wife was named Marta, née Polakova, then Erbenova, and Synkova after my father. So she was once divorced. She was also a dentist, so they obviously probably met through work. She was a Protestant, from a Protestant family, but that didn't play a role at all. I never had any conflicts with her, she was great. Then when she became seriously ill, I used to sit with her a lot, because by then I was already eleven or twelve.

I remember that my brother refused to call her Mommy, and called her Marta. He rebelled. Well, he was in the full bloom of puberty at the time. There were frightful conflicts because of it, but our father didn't break him. I myself called her Mom. Not Mommy, but Mom. I didn't have any inhibitions in my relationship with her, but I was a little bit afraid of her. She was large and dark, and was relatively, as people from a Protestant environment are, or were, strict and high-minded. Something like that was present in her.

What's more, she was no longer all that young, and it was hard for her to relate to children. With me it still somewhat worked, but she probably never found a way to have a relationship with my brother. She herself had no children, and was an independent, emancipated woman - back then there weren't many women studying medicine either - so I'm convinced, that is, it's my deduction, but for sure a correct one, that it was a problem for her to marry a man with two children. And what's more with a son in puberty and rebellious. For sure our father was also troubled by that situation.

As I've said, my second mother was also a dentist. Our original apartment became her clinic; we created a large waiting room and laboratory there, where she worked on teeth. We had several employees in the laboratory. We moved to what was at the time Belskeho Avenue, now I think it's called Ulice Dukelskych Hrdinu [Dukla Heroes Street], into a modern four-room apartment with all conveniences. There my brother and I already had a children's room, there was also a large dining room, a den, my parents' bedroom and of course a kitchen and a room for the maid, which we had at the time.

We had a maid for a long time, when the second mother died, she was still there. We called her Fanca, I know that she was from Boskovice, by Brno, in Moravia. There were probably quite a few Moravian girls working as servants, and I know that they were treated quite well. With what she made working for us, Fanca for example built a house in Dablice.

The parents of my second mother, Marta, lived in the village of Kluky, by Podebrady. We used to go visit them often, almost every Sunday, because my father loved cars. Every little while we had a new car. I'd say that we were more or less middle class. We didn't own buildings, our father didn't want that. But we always had cars, every three years a new car. Our parents probably used to go on decent holidays, even though I don't even know how much they made a year. They would often go to the Tatras [High Tatras: a mountain range in Slovakia].

But my father always said that he didn't save money. Which was the right thing to do. He used to say that for a country's economy to function, money has to circulate. That was his motto. An absolutely modern way of thinking. And he also used to say as a joke that he wanted someone to marry me out of love and not for money. Back then people used to save up for girls' dowries. And he did the right thing, because he enjoyed his money. Then we lost everything anyways. He also equipped his dental practice with the latest. Had one of the first X-ray machines from Siemens.

I also remember my second mother's siblings. She had two brothers and one sister. I even know that one of her brothers was a university professor, Polak, and that at one time he lectured in Bratislava. I don't know his first name. The other one, also named Polak of course, was the director of some sugar refinery somewhere near Prague. Her sister lived in Podebrady; she was named Karla, was married or perhaps divorced, and was some sort of public servant. The siblings used to get together in Kluky, because the family was quite spread out. There were also perhaps some cousins, I don't know exactly any more.

In Kluky they had a beautiful garden, by this larger country house. From there I've got very intense memories of a garden full of flowers, of course with a swing and so on. We used to go to various nearby farms for fresh eggs... I remember these large, beautiful, grand farms, at least they seemed to be big to me. Apparently people used to bring food from there to Prague, and at the Prague city limits there was then a so-called customs checkpoint. Police, basically. And when you brought in food, you had to pay a tax. Which of course no one ever paid. I know how people would talk about for example having a couple of eggs with them, and said, 'I have nothing,' and everyone that used to bring in things then were terribly pleased that they'd brought in a couple of eggs. But it was more of a sport than anything else, just for fun.

I also remember - Grandpa and Grandma had a maid, I guess they weren't that poor - and she'd always go with me to the nearest forest, where there were dogs' graves. Apparently left by some local nobility, that I don't know. It was on the way out of Kluky, but not towards Prague, nor towards Podebrady, but on the other side. Before you get to Podebrady, there's a large graveyard there, then a turnoff towards Kluky, and if you took that turnoff and continued on, there were big forests there. And that's where those graves were. And not just one, several of them. Those dogs also had names there. For a kid it was an attraction. Back then it wasn't common, perhaps with the exception of some nobility and counts, to bury dogs. And these graves must have dated back to Austrian times.

Besides trips to Kluky to visit my second mother's parents, I also used to go to a guesthouse during the summer holidays, which was in Doksy. I was supposed to learn German there, but because it was all Czech children there, besides the German teachers, we spoke only Czech. It was by Mach's Lake, so I've got beautiful memories of Mach's Lake, where at the age of nine, when I was there, I probably learned to swim a bit, but I don't exactly know any more.

One summer vacation, I might have been nine, ten or perhaps eleven, we were in a different guesthouse, in Nadejkov, which is in southern Bohemia, whose owners were relatives of my first mother, by the name of Seger. They had a farm in Nadejkov, and during the summer there was some sort of camp set up there, where my brother and I were invited. Mrs. Segerova was probably my mother's cousin. They had two sons, one was older by about two years and the other by about four, one was named Milan and they called the second one Hansi, as he was named Jan.

I met Milan after the war during one reunion of children from Terezin. We were both amazed that we had survived. At that time he was already living in Israel, where he married Eva Diamantova, whom I remember from Terezin. It hasn't been so long ago that their son contacted me. He was terribly glad, and said, 'Finally I'll find out something about the Steiners again.' But I'll tell you, that I didn't have the feeling that he's some sort of relative of mine, by which I mean to say that it's not true that a person right away feels some sort of emotions. He'd already been born in Israel, and even though he speaks Czech, it very much depends on where a person grows up. Even though I'm always very afraid to succumb to some sort of false sentimentality, so I hold back from such feelings.

I have memories from the beginning of the war, and they're still quite sharp, because I wasn't brought up in the spirit of some sort of Jewish consciousness, and so it was something new for me at the time. Besides that, I was in puberty. Suddenly came this blow from nowhere, in the sense that the war was actually the beginning of a feeling, at first not completely conscious, but then of course more and more an intensely conscious feeling, that I didn't belong in the society that I lived in. They threw us out of school 12; we weren't allowed to continue. One prohibition followed another, I don't know exactly from what date. My father, who you could say was emotionally unstable, was breaking down more and more. I was suddenly in a situation where I began to be afraid of people.

The first impact was already before the war, when some little girl in Sokol yelled 'Jew' at me. I had no idea what she was going on about. We were an absolutely assimilated family, but it didn't come about through some specific aim, it came about due to our way of life. In my view it's very important that as long as people acted naturally, everything flowed from their way of life. Not that they said to themselves: 'I'll be this, or that.' Today there's a bit of a tendency for people to pretend, and not think enough. But that generation back then, and today it's seen as an attitude that's a bit naive in some respects, was convinced that their way of life was right, and that that's the way they should behave.

With the beginning of the war, I was alerted to the fact that people were watching us. Likely they were also the people across from us in the building - back then all the buildings in Letna had superintendents. They were usually from the poorer classes, although not all of them. As it's always been, envy also began. One prohibition after another was inflicted upon us, and suddenly I heard that we had to have a big 'J,' for 'Jude,' in our identification, that we can walk only in certain streets, and on streetcars ride only in the back car. To this day I always get on the first car, that's in my subconscious, and it's been a long time already.

As a Jewish family, we also had food coupons that were then in use designated with a big 'J.' We had smaller rations and could shop only during certain hours. Some shopkeepers used to bring my father groceries, as he was after all well-known and liked in Letna. I myself witnessed how surprised they were. 'Mr. Synek, those Jewish laws apply to you?' It was something incomprehensible for me. Here, during the First Republic, people didn't reflect on things so much as to say about someone that he was or wasn't a Jew. In a smaller town, or in Moravia and Slovakia, perhaps that was something completely different. I'm only talking about my experience.

I remember that a prohibition, or a bylaw came out - it was one of the first Nuremberg Laws - that the word jew had to be written with a capital J. That was something that I didn't understand at all anymore, I only understood that it was supposed to be pejorative. It had never been written like that before. I haven't accepted it to this day, here jew with a big J is used all the time, though I've asked in my articles for it to not be that way. Because I think that it's very, very wrong, because from that stem other things. Everyone uses only a capital J, but that's nationality, not religion, and why is it always taken as a nationality? [Editor's note: In the Czech language, jew in a religious context is written with a small "j," and Jew in the context of nationality with a capital "J."] It can't be used constantly.

In 1934 there was some sort of census, well, so a few people identified themselves as being of Jewish nationality, so then a capital J. Even the state is Israel, not Jew. And another thing, on our report cards, we had Israeli written for our religion, not Jewish. Or 'of Moses.' I'm very insulted by it, and I think that it supports anti-Semitism. It supports the notion that we're somehow isolating ourselves. Due to this I had big conflicts at the Prague community, even with Rabbi Sidon, with whom I'm otherwise on a first-name basis, as we were once co-workers. [Sidon, Karol Efraim (b. 1942): from 1992 Prague and national rabbi.] He knows it, and knows my opinions. The community also issues everything with a capital J, and that's quite important. Some would say, don't make a fuss, little j, big J, but that's not true. Big things are composed of small ones.

On top of it all, my father's dental practice was endangered, but then he got permission for only Jewish clientele, and thus I was able to work as his assistant. At that time everything had to be given away, musical instruments, pets, and as a dentist my father had gold. Well, I think that then he wasn't allowed to work with gold anymore, there were various substitutes. Then he could only do fillings, because he had to let the lab workers go, and only Mr. Porges remained, who was Jewish, and who went on one of the first transports. So then my father had no one left there, he had to do everything himself, and so could at most do fillings, but certainly not some sort of complicated prosthetic work.

I was helping him out, so I didn't go for any lessons anywhere like other Jewish children did, which I didn't find out until after the war. Maybe when they then met up and played together, it gave them strength. And that they had a bit of fun, even in the worst times there's fun, after all. But I didn't have any, I was in complete isolation. After I stopped attending school, my girlfriends from school of course never came by, people were afraid to associate with us. And that's something that I took very hard. My resistance manifested itself by my going about without a star 13. It made my father crazy and fearful, unfortunately I never got the chance to apologize to him. It was only later that I realized what he went through with us children.

Of all the prohibitions, the thing that bothered me the most was that we weren't allowed to go to school, and that the normal course of things was interrupted. It's not so much about the studies, but about the fact that you were suddenly deleted from society. You couldn't go to the movies, nothing. I didn't even mind the shopping, but the fact that I didn't have the possibilities other girls had. I didn't even have a substitute in another collective.

I remember how once my father arranged a visit - I think that it was somewhere in Dlouha Avenue, even that the people were named the Aschermanns, but of that I'm not sure - during some afternoon when people from Jewish families gathered. I went there, but it was completely foreign to me. I guess I was supposed to get to know someone there, but I was completely... well, I wasn't able to. Likely some patient of my father's saw me and said, 'Why don't you send your daughter, we're having a get- together.' I don't know, maybe it was someone's birthday. I don't know, I just remember that it made me all grouchy, and no one ever got me out anywhere again.

It was also back then during the war that my big complex began, because I said to myself that I don't belong among Jews, that I simply don't belong. My puberty played a role in this too. I wanted to be like other people, and it even went as far as me reproaching my father for my first mother also being Jewish, that I would have at least been only half and half. Later I regretted this terribly. Well, my father tried, explained, he was never angry with me, and was very calm. He tried to explain to me that it's not anything bad, and that when the war ends, everything will be different. I remember him telling me, 'The star you have to wear now, later you'll wear it as a badge of honor, it'll be like when the legionnaires returned from World War I.' He was deeply mistaken. Deeply. But thanks to this big complex, which I really felt intensely, I actually saved my own life.

Luckily, during the war my third mother lived with us, Anna Mandova, who married my father just before the prohibition of mixed marriages, so she put herself at great risk. What's more, her relatives tried to talk her out of it, understandably from fear for her future existence. She of course wasn't Jewish, but a Catholic, utterly tolerant. Overall, she was excellent, kind. According to me, a true angel. She'd loved my father for years; he used to care for her teeth, as a patient. My father was a very - so in this I'm not like him - handsome man, who didn't at all look Jewish. She was born on 9th March 1897 in Kolc, near Slany. She worked as a seamstress. She sewed normally, like people did at home, as well as for the Rosenbaum company. That was this large company where she apprenticed, and she was the first fabric cutter there. So she was a lady that knew what she was doing.

At the time when things were getting worse and worse, by then they were writing about my father in 'Aryan Struggle' - that was this seditious rag - and stars were being worn, he had some patients that were named the Kristliks, a husband and wife. They were faithful Christians, perhaps Catholics. They used to invite my father along with that third wife of his to this outdoor café somewhere in Holesovice, so that he'd be outside, and he'd walk around there with his star covered up, and they knew about it and weren't afraid. From Letna to Holesovice, that was actually the same quarter, and my father was very well-known, so it was a risk.

This couple had such an influence on him that he began to engross himself in the Bible. He read both the Old and the New Testament, and had the Bible on his nightstand. In those last years it apparently helped him very much. What exactly he read from it, I don't know, but he needed some faith, and in that case it doesn't matter which one. It's a question of a spiritual crisis, and he was of a less stable nature. He was very sensitive, very sociable and on the other hand used to have depressions. That was all caused by the way of life during that time. I think that in order to last it out, he needed to believe in something. I don't think that his Christian wives played any role in his affinity to the Bible. Neither of them was religious, I don't remember them going to church. My father even had a baptismal certificate, it was issued to me and obviously him too by the priest at Strossmayer Square. Back then we thought that it would help, but it was of course useless.

But only a handful of people helped Jews. I'm not accusing anyone, I'm stating facts. And when I then add it up, all that had its role in the fact that those people then had a harder time standing up to the hardships that followed. Up till then my father had been extremely sociable, he was a successful dentist and sometimes even lectured about it, and was constantly studying it. So that he'd constantly get better and better at it, so he devoted himself to it scientifically as well. Now, suddenly, when everything was supposed to come together and bear fruit, everything collapsed. Of course, he was marked by the deaths of those two wives of his. My childhood was influenced by those deaths as well.

Suddenly the fact that we were Jewish was an issue. No one had concerned themselves with it before. No one had even known that my father was a Jew, he had nothing Jewish in his appearance, and even the name is Czech. In fact, when he first remarried, he also married a dentist, a non-Jew, who however looked a bit Jewish, so his patients would say to him, 'Why, Mr. Synek, you've married a Jewish woman?' Not until right before the occupation, when papers like 'Arijsky boj' [Aryan Struggle, a magazine put out by the Czech fascist movement Vlakja (Flag)], then we were. Suddenly my father was 'That Synek Jew.'

At that time we were living under great tension. There was constant tension in our home, because not once, but several times someone rang at our door - I remember for example one Czech policeman, who was apparently high- ranking, who walked through our apartment and pointed out paintings that my father then had to give him. Besides this, we were always afraid of Germans and of informers, because in the newspaper belonging to the Vlajka movement 14, that was this Czech fascist rag, there were various denunciatory articles about my father. Like why is it that Mr. Synek is fixing teeth, and so on. So we lived in fear and tension, and you can say that my father was a nervous type, and that it of course rubbed off on me.

I turned to books for some sort of consolation, and already back then I was writing these little verses, I was 13, 14 at the time. I read only poetry. I read prose only a bit. I was very influenced by literature, maybe even of a somewhat exclusive type, especially for my age, which my brother, who was five years older, used to give to me. During those times all he was doing was reading, he was as opposed to me very single-minded and was gathering knowledge. For him it was also actually his future profession. He concerned himself with words, and so did I, but in a different way. He was an example for me, but of course we also fought. He used to scare me at night in that children's room, with lights and so on. So sometimes I hated him. But he influenced my reading, and with my affinity for poetry I was then this insufficiently realistic person. My thoughts were influenced by a certain dream factor, the non-acceptance of reality. This conflict was very, very strong in me.

I was very influenced by what I read, for example already when I was very young I read Pitigrilli [Segre, Dino (1893 - 1975): pseudonym Pitigrilli, Italian author]. I know that a scene when some woman was receiving her lover in a coffin had a great effect on me. To this day I don't know what it was called. I'd really like to read it again. And then there was the famous book by the Italian author Amicis [Amicis, Edmondo De (1846 - 1908): Italian writer and journalist], 'Heart' it was called, and it contained stories over which I wept many evenings and nights, because they were terribly sad and beautiful. I'd like to read that one again too, for one. There was for example one story, 'Sardinian Drummer,' about how during some war they shot a 12-year-old little boy, who crossed some terribly high mountains in Italy, I don't know where exactly, to find his mother, who had cancer and had been transported to the other end of Italy. I was completely kaput from that.

Then I was influenced, for example, by reading classical Czech literature, beginning with Nemcova 15. I liked it all, Jirasek for example [Jirasek, Alois (1851 - 1930): Czech writer and dramatist]. To this day I think that by making him compulsory school reading, they've discredited him. Those classical authors knew their craft, there's magnificent use of words there. I remember that the only book that I took with me to Terezin was Macha 16, his 'Maj' [May]. Nothing else. I liked it very much.

Back then it was in general a little different. In my youth, though after the war already, it was in fashion to read Dostoevsky 17 and carry the book so that others would see it. Now it's music. That's about something completely different. Back then that didn't exist at all, when you wanted to come across as an intellectual, you had to know literature. Right after the end of the war, I was already reading 'The Castle' by Franz Kafka 18, published by Manes in 1936-1937, and was very influenced by it, even though I didn't understand it very much.

My father was also a big reader, but certainly not of poetry. He read Pritomnost 19 magazine, which was edited by Peroutka 20, that was really for intellectual readers. It was a monthly with a beautiful yellow cover. I remember the way the cover looked to this day. When during the war we weren't allowed to go out anywhere in the evening, our father used to read to us. Well, there was no TV. I remember that he was reading the novel 'Katrin vojakem' and 'Katrin svet hori,' which was about World War I. It was dramatic. He'd read us a bit after supper, and we'd sit quietly. He used to do that mainly after the death of our second mother, because he was terribly depressed, lonely.

We used to subscribe to a lot of books from the ELC, a modern European literary club. [European Literary Club: was created in 1935 on the initiative of the publishing businessman Bohumil Janda (1900 - 1982) and his brother Ladislav Janda (1898 - 1984).] Besides Pritomnost, he also subscribed to other papers, Rozvoj, which was a paper that belonged to the Czech-Jew Association. We used to get those papers, but I didn't read them, not Pritomnost either. I wasn't at all interested in that, because they were political, and let's say partially philosophical and cultural articles.

During the war

In 1942 my brother got a summons to the transport. Alone of course, because our father was protected by his marriage to a non-Jew. But he didn't get on, and left a letter that he'd committed suicide. Then very uncomfortable situations followed, because we were in contact with him and I was the connection. Either I or my stepmother would bring him things that he needed. It was so terribly risky. Everything was full of fear and risks. I think that that atmosphere of fear molded me for the remainder of my life. From that time I've never been far from states of anxiety. I don't want to say depressions, that's a strong word. They were more like states of anxiety. Fear of the unknown.

Later I realized that it predestined me to this, basically constant, mild misunderstanding with the world as such. To questions why I am, why do I do this and why do people do that. It's this feeling that I can't communicate what I'm feeling anyways. Basically not to anybody. And that I have to come to terms with that constant misunderstanding.

I've got this incident, completely abstract, just to explain it more closely. In that apartment on Letna, where I lived, to get to the room where I slept, you had to cross from this large room where we used to have supper, through this quite large front hall. The light switch for that hallway was completely on the other side. So that I had to cross it in darkness. To this day I've still got an intense memory of sitting there and being unable to go to bed. No one knew about it, I of course didn't tell my father about it. I remember that I exerted all my energy, or strength - it's more of a symbol, what I'm saying now - to walk through that dark hall. When I entered the children's room and turned on the light, I was completely exhausted. I think that this extreme exhaustion from that journey, which today in my reminiscences is so short, but back then seemed unimaginably long to me, is a symbol of my entire life.

This fear-filled period lasted up to December 1942, when I myself was summoned to the transport. That's when I saw my father for the last time, he had completely collapsed, because there was nothing he could do. Even before that he had been living under terrible tension, in terrible fear, and then suddenly... For him I was a little girl, even though I wasn't all that little any more. Certainly he also blamed himself for everything. Because he was so extremely just, so absolutely humanistically inclined and he idealized the world - even though back then it was still possible, today I don't idealize it anymore, and I don't think I'm alone - that he still believed that it wasn't possible for Czechoslovakia to be gone and for the Czechoslovak state to not care for its citizens.

There was this one incident that took place, that after the Anschluss 21, after the annexation of Austria, some distant cousin of his arrived in Prague, who was then continuing further on. He was at our place, and telling us about the horrors that were taking place there. Well, and when that cousin left, my father said, 'That's not possible. He must be crazy, he needs to go to a mental institution.' He didn't believe it, he didn't want to believe it. He wasn't alone in that, it must have been utterly horrible for those people back then, that powerlessness. What's more, back then a man was still the head of the family, who takes care of his family members. That has changed a bit, after all.

You see, before the war I had had the possibility of emigrating, but my father didn't let me go. When I was very small, when that first mother of mine was ill, I had had a nanny, Miss Saskova. This Miss Saskova, that was around 1939, left for England to work as a nanny for some family, also some dentist. She apparently liked me in some fashion, and so came to see my father, that she could take me with her and that I'd learn a trade there. My father said that it was out of the question.

I remember that even later there was always talk of emigration around us, but we didn't have any contacts, it was said that certain Jewish families had a lot of money and information, so they had at least some possibility of emigrating. Often it was a question of money. I don't know anything exact about it, just that very few people got an affidavit. They may have had one promised, for example, but then it never happened. I know that the Petchka family was terribly rich. They even transported out all of their employees, an entire train. But I'm convinced that even if someone had offered my father something, he'd have turned him down.

We for example didn't even know about Winton's 22 activities, how he transported out Jewish children. We didn't find out about it at all. It's true that we weren't in very close contact with the Prague Jewish community. But maybe it wasn't just because of that. We were recorded there. Jews, for example, used to get summons, while they were still in Prague, for the clearing away of snow. Well, that we used to get every little while. My father and brother. That was so humiliating, you'd be shoveling snow, wearing a star, and on top of that people would be yelling things at you. It was always terribly difficult to get out of it. It was a so-called compulsory labor. So we were in the records.

I expected the transport, I knew that it would come, and was afraid. When I then got the summons, I knew that I had to go, that I couldn't do what my brother had done. For a week before they took us away, we were in a so- called quarantine at Veletrzni Palace [The Trade Fair Palace, a Modernist 1920s exhibition hall]. I knew that my father was only a few buildings over, but with that star he couldn't even come see me. But he sent someone, because through some guard I got a box of candy with a letter.

The conditions were quite bad for us in the Veletrzni Palace. I ended up with a fever from it all. At that time an excellent person took care of me there, Gustav Schorsch, who unfortunately never returned. By complete chance, he had the number next to mine. The transport was named 'Ck,' and I had number 333; I guess the threes were 'lucky.' When you entered the quarantine, there were mattresses arranged there according to those numbers. Schorsch saw me there, that I was alone and crying. He helped me very much during that week before they transported us away, and also the whole time in Terezin, until they sent him further on.

When he knew that I was sick, or that something was wrong, he'd always come to check on me. He used to put on plays there, gave lectures, and in general was culturally active. He was a lot older than I was, nine years. He'd already graduated from high school, and as a student had already acted on the stage. He was the founder of Theater 99 on Narodni Avenue. He was an exceptional stage talent.

After the war a book about him came out, 'Nevyuctovan zustava zivot.' After the revolution 23, in the 1990s, I among other things also wrote a script about him. The film exists, and was shown on TV. Unfortunately I was only able to use interviews with other people, his photographs exist, but there was little authentic material, except for some plays he'd dramatized. They've even been put on at the National Theater. He was an exceptional person, a lot of people reminisced about him, his former classmates and so on.

I don't exactly know what went on with my father after my departure. I think that someone there helped him, that someone from those Letna residents, either from his former patients or the businessmen there, used to go to see him. All the business owners there knew each other. I think that my father must have had contact with someone, because during that year that I was in Terezin, he managed to smuggle through a letter, apparently via the Czech policemen that guarded us in Terezin. I've got it hidden away to this day. It's beautiful, full of hints. He wrote 'Jirina is all right,' that was my brother, Jirka. Contact with my brother was then apparently maintained by our stepmother. But both she and my father were arrested about a year after me. He had the dental practice right up to his arrest. Then there was apparently some German there, because after the war all the equipment was still there. When we returned, my stepmother rented it out via a so-called widow's law.

In Terezin I wasn't all alone anymore, some sort of society formed there. The people there were in the same situation. When I arrived there, we were in the so-called shloiska, which is a quarantine. [Editor's note: the Hamburg barracks, so-called shloiska, likely from the German 'Schleuse': women's accommodations, and from 1943 especially for Dutch prisoners. At the same time the main transport dispatch location.] We had to report there, and precisely because of the horrible complex of mine that I was something different, I reported that I was a half-breed. I had no idea that this had been the first transport that had contained half-breeds, otherwise I would have been found out, and I wouldn't be sitting here now. It was a completely irrational thing. It seems like I've made it up, but that's really how it was.

After some time in Terezin I was put in the children's home. There were children from about 11 or 12 upwards there, up to about 15 or 16, I think. I don't know exactly. I was among the oldest ones there. Younger children were with their parents. For example, my husband, who's younger than I, was with his mother. Children that had arrived in Terezin with their parents were also in the children's home; I was more of an exception, I mean that I had arrived alone. But my uncle, my father's brother, was already there. He was lying there in this hospital room where people with tuberculosis were. I used to go see him occasionally. My father's father was in Terezin at that time. He died very early on, and then my uncle as well. That was in 1943. I didn't have any other relatives there.

In Terezin I became friends with Vera, back then Bendova, who was also a half-breed, but a real one. We were bunkmates - there were triple bunk beds, and we slept up on the top bunk together. She was the only one who knew the truth about me; I had to tell someone what the case was with me. Always, when I was summoned - half-breeds used to be summoned to the headquarters - neither of us slept. We're of course in touch to this day. She lives in Olten, Switzerland, where I went to visit her after the revolution.

As a half-breed I was allowed to stay in Terezin; it protected me from further transport. And my best friend as well. Of the people in our room - we lived in No. 29 in L410 - mostly everyone else were transported further on. And some returned after the war, and some didn't. Plus when Brundibar 24 was being put on there, new children had to be recruited to replace the ones that had been transported away. I myself never played in Brundibar, as I never knew how to sing.

We then tried to put on a play by Klicpera with Schorsch. But mainly I wrote. These trifles, various poems. Mostly they involved reminiscences, for example about a girlfriend that had remained in Prague, or laments over what I had lost. There were all these sentimental things, with tendencies towards romantic expressions. Not long ago there was a reunion of girls from Terezin, and they said, 'Listen, we were always thinking about food, and you were writing poems. We used to say to ourselves that you aren't normal.'

I of course also experienced love in Terezin. And not just once. I think that I fell in love there at least five times. I never counted the times, and I always also soon got over it. It never lasted very long for me, which was still the case long after the war. I perhaps stuck out a bit in Terezin; I was completely blond and blue-eyed. Maybe it also says something about that period, it was sometimes for only a couple of days, but intense.

However, there were one or two stronger relationships. Not one of them returned. One was named Jiri Kummermann. That boy, though he was 17, was already composing. I've still got some notes, some fragments, hidden away to this day. His mother, a former dancer, was also there; she didn't return either. Because I knew that I'd probably stay in Terezin, I had some of his notes with me. But after the war I gave them to his relatives. I guess that the relationship was quite intensive, because long after 1945 I still thought that he might appear.

Then there was Karel Stadler, who I knew from Prague, because he was a friend of my brother's. An exceptionally educated boy. He was about four, five years older, while the musician was the same age as I. So I was impressed by him, and felt embarrassed, that I was completely dumb compared to him. I wasn't the only one to fall in love there. Of course, during the day we couldn't see each other much, but curfew wasn't until after 8pm, so we could still be outside in the evening.

Terezin was an amazing education for me. First of all, I wouldn't be the person I am now, but that's normal. But mainly I was introduced to values there that I would never have had the chance to know. For example what friendship can do for a person, but not only that. How important the influence of art is. There, the people that had come to Terezin, and they were professors, artists, all of them truly tried to convey what they knew. There's no way that could happen in a normal situation. In Terezin everything was extreme, it wasn't a normal situation there. That's of course hindsight, back then I couldn't have realized it.

We lived through extreme situations there. For one, there was the fear of further transport. No one knew when he'd have to leave, and where to. Even though no one of our generation of course wanted to at all allow the fact that it could be the end. Almost to the end of the war, I didn't know that the gas chambers existed. That was because I was in Terezin. Maybe someone there knew it, but I think that most of them didn't. Not until 1945, when people were returning.

Understandably, we also had fun in Terezin. And those love affairs. Everything was experienced intensely, because there you couldn't count on having time. I think that whether you're an adolescent, or 20 or even 50 years old, that's a very unusual situation. There you didn't at all have the feeling that time was uselessly running between your fingers. The intensity of the time was also given by the fact that we were hungry. Everything was intense. I never experienced such intensity before, or since then. Everything that those children were doing there, either they were drawing something, or writing, was full-on. The entire leadership tried to do as much as possible for them. Because in their view the only ones that had a chance of survival were the children, or the young people. In the end it wasn't like that, but even so, they tried.

I don't know if some country, or some group, some small nation, does in a normal situation as much as was done back then in those extreme times in Terezin. Back then, everything was at stake. It was also necessary to help the adults as well as the young people, to make them aware of the fact that they have to watch themselves so that they won't decline morally. All that was terribly important. You had to preserve the feeling that you're not in some hole.

The question, why did I return and not someone else, this feeling of guilt, we've probably all got it. That's been reflected upon many times already. I of course don't have an answer to it, and you can't even feel guilty. But I think that the percentage of those best ones that didn't return is very high. You also don't know what those children would have become. Certainly there were many talented people there, and with that experience, that intensity that I've talked about, everything was amplified even more.

What do the people that survived have in common? I don't have a definite answer to that. I think that the majority of the people that returned are today much more tolerant than people without this experience. But it of course also depended on what sort of way of life you ended up in. That also molded you. If you remained completely alone, or if at least a bit of your family remained. Its way of thinking and intellectual position. Life itself.

There are all sorts of people. Lots of them moved away as well, and those, when they come here, are also completely different. But there is something there, some sort of common fate. Not that we're extremely close, but there is something there that I can easily and immediately identify with. With someone who didn't go through it, I'd have to do a huge amount of explaining to give them an idea what it's about. Here I don't have to. There's no doubt that we have a common experience, which binds us. It's hard to say, maybe we're connected by some sort of reappraisal of values. A larger degree of tolerance, that for sure.

Of course, there are some individuals that don't fit the pattern, but even now, when I meet with people, it's clear to me from the first moment who is a survivor. I also think, though maybe I'm fooling myself, that those that survived won't succumb to concerning themselves only with economic matters. I think that they're a little less susceptible to the influence of today's way of life. That they're a little more themselves. There is, after all, something there, some experience that sets them apart. If I was to summarize what my stay in the concentration camp took from me, it took my past. That severing of the past, that's something I have to come to terms with.

We were terribly looking forward to returning home. But of course there was no place to return to. I suddenly didn't know what to do. How to live, why at all, and mainly there was no one to turn to for advice. My brother, who also survived, didn't pay much attention to me, he had enough of his own cares and worries. He was running all over the place, they were already starting up a newspaper and he was given an important editorial position, head of the cultural section. They got what was then a German paper, Mlada Fronta 25, and he was basically a founder. He was 23, and J. Horec, later the editor-in-chief, was I think 24. [Horec, Jaromir (b. 1921): popular Czech poet, writer, journalist and publicist] He had absolutely no time for me. I remember that back then after I had returned, I went to report to something like the people's committee of the time, I don't know what it was called anymore, because I needed identification. There they gave me two pieces of underwear, panties and some sort of nightie, and about five handkerchiefs.

My father didn't survive the war, he died in 1944 in Auschwitz. I've got two dates. One is in February, the other is in May, no one knows for sure. They arrested him in the fall of 1943, he passed through Karlovo namesti [Charles Square], where he was interrogated, through the Small Fortress 26 to Auschwitz; he didn't go on a normal transport. He was most likely arrested because of my brother. My stepmother was also arrested, but she returned after the war. But she also didn't know why they actually arrested them. It's quite likely that they were denounced by someone. She passed through the Ravensbrück 27 and Barth concentration camps. [Barth: camp that fell under the Ravensbrück concentration camp] She didn't return until somewhat later, not until the end of June 1945, and was seriously ill.

Post-war

After the war, I supported my mother as much as possible; after all, it was thanks to her that I saved my life, because they didn't know that she wasn't my true mother. If that would have been uncovered, it would have been the end. She died when she was 85, that would be sometime in 1983, because she was born in 1898. She was hit by a streetcar; she became disoriented and the streetcar hit her in the head.

By the way, I've found out that in the Pinkas synagogue, where the names of the dead from the concentration camps are, there is also my brother's name. [Editor's note: during the years 1992 - 1996, 80,000 names of Czech and Moravian Jewish who had died at the hands of the Nazis were written by hand on the walls of the synagogue.] Like as if he was dead. As I've said, when he got the summons to the transport, he left behind a letter that he'd committed suicide, and disappeared. In the register he's listed as being dead. Well, there's nothing we can do about it now, it's there. According to one tradition, that mean's he'll live a long life.

Other mistakes occurred as well. For example, my father was arrested, he didn't go by transport, but nevertheless also ended up in a concentration camp, and didn't return. But he's not in the Terezin book. [Editor's note: the Terezin Memorial Book contains the names of Jewish victims of Nazi deportations from Bohemia and Moravia during the years 1941 - 1945.] I don't know if his name was added later, I haven't tried to find out. I told Mr. Karny, who put that book together with his wife, that he's not in there, but that he also died in Auschwitz. There are other similar cases, people that didn't go via the normal transports, but were arrested or disappeared like my brother.

At first I lived with my brother, who got an apartment on Letna, and then, when my stepmother returned, we moved into the apartment where the dental clinic had been. But nothing except for the dental equipment remained there. Back then, when I returned from Terezin, I was, above all, hungry. My mother had relatives here, a sister who was very kind, and I used to go to their place in Smichov for lunch. They fed me from what they had for themselves. It seems strange, but I don't think that there was any sort of organization to take care of those people that had returned. It never occurred to me at all to go to the Jewish community. Maybe I should have gone there, they would definitely have given me advice. After all, there was some assistance here, as I found out later, from America 28. Some applications for compensation were being submitted. Well, I didn't know anything about it, and got nothing. Not until now, after the revolution, that which everyone has.

For about the first two years, until I got my bearings, I really didn't know how I should behave. I knew that you should say hello to people, and what I should say when I enter a shop, but I couldn't at all grasp other people's way of thinking. They were all foreign to me. I had no idea how they thought, why for example they would do something they did. I always wanted to know the reasons for people's behavior.

For example, my aunt, the one that had divorced my uncle because of that publishing house, wasn't Jewish and survived the war. After the war she was in charge of the bookshop that belonged to that publishing house. She offered me a job selling books there. So I worked there for some time. Then she told me, 'Your waist isn't slim enough, I'll buy you a corset.' I couldn't grasp it at all. Why I should be selling books there, and why she was going to buy it for me. I should have asked her, why would you buy this or that for me, or why should I be selling books here? I'm sure she would have explained it to me. But I didn't ask her.

Or another example. There were some girls from Terezin on Letna, and they pulled me into the Youth Union 29. Again, I used to go there, and didn't at all know why I was even there. There were many things that I didn't get back then, not until I met a girl my own age, whose father was a dentist, a colleague of my father's. Dr. Vanecek. He invited me over to their place, and gave me money. That Vera was the only one to say, 'You've got to go to school.' If it hadn't been for her, I would have said to hell with everything. But even she had to explain to me why I had to go to school, and even so I didn't completely understand. Maybe I was completely neglected, or maybe more likely, lonely. I think that it was due to loneliness. And yet later in life, I was a sociable person and not an introvert. But all too late. But back then I was definitely a complete introvert. I think it's a consequence of that what I've talked about, that severing of bonds with the past.

Luckily, several relatives gradually appeared who also helped me. For example my first mother's cousin, who had a list of people whom Anna, my first mother's sister, had hidden things with. He made the rounds of those people with me, who for the most part didn't want to return anything. I experienced this very unpleasant situation, when they'd say, 'Oh my, you've returned!' I don't even feel like talking about it. What's more, that's common knowledge. As far as school goes, they explained to me that I had to arrange a stipend. From a financial standpoint, our life after the war was very bad indeed. In the end I was only able to finish my studies thanks to that stipend, which I got as a war orphan. Back then I was being paid by the War Reparations Office. I think that it was in Karlin [a Prague city quarter]. Without that money, I wouldn't even have had money for a slice of bread.

My brother had managed to graduate from Jirasek High School before the war, and after the war he registered at the Faculty of Philosophy. In 1947 he was sent by the then Ministry of Culture to Paris, where he published a weekly about Central Europe named 'Parallele Cinquante,' Fiftieth Parallel. He was supposed to return right after February 30, he was there for one year. But he emigrated and remained abroad. But he was here secretly, and thanks to my boyfriend at the time, the artist Jiri Hejna, whom I was with for a long time, we changed the stamp on his passport with the use of some plaster. So he got out once February had already passed.

I began attending university in the spring of 1946, when it was actually first being reopened. I picked the Faculty of Journalism at the University of Political and Social Sciences. It was composed of three faculties: political, social and journalistic. This school was also intended for future diplomats, that is, the political and social faculties, not the journalistic one. Already as an adolescent I had written poems, and during the war as well. Besides movement, dance, my strongest interest was literature, so that meant that it had to be some school where you worked with words. I imagined that afterwards I could perhaps live in some foreign city and be a correspondent. In Paris, for example. Stupid me. The faculty of journalism was something new. I've got this impression that it didn't exist during the First Republic, but I'm not sure. It was probably possible to study journalism someplace else, that I don't exactly know. But for me it was a novelty. Plus I knew that there they wouldn't require me to know Latin. I was afraid that even in that Faculty of Philosophy, I'd feel the lack Latin, or perhaps Greek.

I actually finished my high school as part of that faculty. Back then that was possible. This school had a solely practical focus. There was a lot of economics and law, something from all fields. I don't know if that was good, but to me it seemed a lot more doable, because I was missing entire years of education. I thought that I had a better chance of managing it. There was no problem getting into the faculty, everyone that registered could attend. Back then older people registered too, who for example hadn't been able to study during the war. But there was a lot of filtering out. Few people finished all four years plus a thesis. Those people perhaps went for a more practical life, or they didn't like it.

I was finished in the winter of 1949. The biggest problems didn't start cropping up until 1950. I don't remember exactly how the professors were being replaced. Those of them that were orthodox Marxists of course began to work their way up. For example Ladislav Stoll, who was then very orthodox and I think that he ruined a lot of people's lives. [Stoll, Ladislav (1902 - 1981): Czech Marxist critic] He was a big ideologue in the sphere of culture. He was influential in all areas of culture, and I'm sure that he also collaborated with various ministries, and so on. On the other hand, several professors emigrated. For example Professor Machotka left for America. [Machotka, Otakar (1899 - 1970): Czech sociologist]

Originally it had been interesting at that faculty, four political parties were represented equally amongst the professors. So that it would be balanced. Then of course the hammer fell, and those people started leaving, Social Democrats and so on. There was also a lady there that taught social manners, who was later jailed for many years. We used to call her Alca Palca, but her name was Palkoskova. She was from this very rich Prague family. We used to make fun of that social manners class, but she was right, unfortunately social manners have fallen by the wayside. People today don't know how to behave. For psychology there was Prof. Tardy, I don't remember his first name anymore. He immigrated to Switzerland. What's strange is that they gave us an 'Ing.' degree, meaning that I'm an engineer. That's because we had economics, but that's nonsense, they were following the Soviet model.

After finishing school, in 1950 I started working in feature films at Barrandov [a famous film studio in Prague], where they wanted students, in the so-called lectorate. It was this first sieve, where themes were sent. There were about five of us there. Anyways, I'm amazed that they gave me a job there. But I had an excellent boss there, I've never had one like that since. He taught me a lot, how would I put it, about literary creations for film. He was named Ing. Karel Smrz, in general a film pioneer, from back during the First Republic, a founder of Czech film. [Smrz, Karel (1897 - 1953): Czech film historian, publicist and dramaturge]

There I became friends with, among others, Hana Zantovska, a translator and excellent lady, who died two years ago. [Zantovska, Hana (1921 - 2004): translator, poet and writer] She was an expert translator from English, and a poet. During that time I also got to know many other people, luckily that circle included people like the author Josef Jedlicka [Jedlicka, Josef (1927 - 1990): Czech writer of prose and essayist], Jan Zabrana [Zabrana, Jan (1931 - 1984): Czech poet and translator] or the painter Mikulas Medek [Medek, Mikulas (1926 - 1974): Czech painter]. Thanks to these people, I got out of that isolation I was in after my return. It was really good, and some friendships have also lasted until today. For example the writer Jaroslav Putik [Putik, Jaroslav (b. 1923): Czech writer of prose], we see each other, the philosopher Ivan Dubsky [Dubsky, Ivan (b. 1926): Czech philosopher] is also a friend of mine from that time. Some have unfortunately already died. But thanks to all these people, I finally began to really live.

I'd only been at the lectorate for about a year and a half, when they threw me out. The 1950s were beginning, and when they threw me out for being unreliable - at the time it was Jiri Hajek [Hajek, Jiri (1919 - 1994): Czech literary and theater critic], who was later in charge of Plamen [Plamen; monthly literary magazine. Jiri Hajek was the magazine's editor-in- chief from1959 - 1968], not the minister, but the literary critic, a very passionate one - the reason they gave me was that they didn't have anything against me personally, but that I was unreliable because I was Jewish.

At that time I really had no money at all, and that stepmother of mine was so badly off that my friends, the Jedlickas, supported me. They used to give me money, though Manka Jedlickova was still finishing medicine, and Josef Jedlicka, who was at the Faculty of Philosophy, was kicked out when they were doing background checks. He was the first one that they did a show trial with. He was accused of being a Trotskyist.

There are so many people of this type that I used to associate with at that time, that I won't even name them all to you. They were excellent. I was even asked to write about them, but I don't want to write anything like that, because I'm not sure whether my memory is good enough. If I can't write something exact, I won't write anything. I can write about some impressions, I've got something filed away, but I wouldn't want to change history due to my faulty memory. That's something that I can't stand.

The 1950s were hard. The Slansky trials 31, and then I also had big problems because of my brother, who had remained abroad. I had no idea what sort of interminable problems would result from that. I was repeatedly interrogated because of it. I remember that when they came for me, I had no idea what was going on. At that time I began to again experience these unpleasant, depressive states. Fear of the future. I began to be afraid. I experienced a very strong sense of fear, even though that shouldn't happen in one's youth. My conflicts were never caused by my own behavior.

I myself didn't want to emigrate. I was in Paris in 1948, but I didn't want to stay there. Maybe under different circumstances. It was complicated, and I also thought that I'd be able to leave again. No one was able to imagine - maybe someone older, who was also based in politics, but back then I was still very naive - that I wouldn't be able to go there again in another couple of years, say.

It wasn't until later, in 1968, when we had a three year old daughter, did I think about emigration, but my husband was afraid of it. One of the reasons was that nowhere is there as beautiful a city as Prague. So dramatic, in an architectural sense. Because my husband is an architect. For my part, I wasn't able to imagine not using Czech. Not as my livelihood, but that which I had inclinations toward, to that miscommunication, would be even worse. Not that I wouldn't learn the language, at that time I could more or less speak English, that I would have learned. German for sure. But I think that the loss of your mother tongue is terrible. And not only for people that work with it. A few years ago, my brother gave some lectures here at the Faculty of Philosophy, where he said that emigrants, because they couldn't speak the language properly, had to being making a living with images. In television. That was a very interesting notion.

My brother originally lived in Paris with his girlfriend, who had helped him hide from the Gestapo during the war. A lot of people helped him back then. And some of them also paid for it by being arrested. But he broke up with her after some time. Later he met a young lady from Porto there, from Portugal. That was his first wife, she was named Julieta and they had twins together. When there was the danger of revolution in France, they left for Portugal together. There we met for the first time in 20 years, in 1968 32, during the Novotny 33 period. At that time I was allowed to go there.

He lives in Lisbon now, he learned Portuguese the same as French back then, because he's got quite a talent for languages. In Portugal, besides giving lectures in Slavic Studies, he was then at a theater and film school, and was also the director of the National Theater in Lisbon. He published one book after another, and to this day directs operas, all sorts of things. Despite already being quite old, he's so terribly active, that I think that when he once stops, he'll immediately die. He probably can't be without it. When you look at it objectively, he's exceptionally educated, exceptionally hard-working, exceptionally capable and exceptionally egocentric. How else would he have accomplished what he's accomplished? That's a case of extreme egocentricity that is concentrated on its work.

Already even before he emigrated, he'd had five books published here, then abroad as well, and now again after the revolution. He never returned here [permanently] from abroad, he wouldn't be able to live here. But he occasionally comes to visit. He collaborates with local theaters as a director and advisor, and his books of poetry and prose are published in the Czech Republic. After the war he got an award from President E. Benes 34 for illegal activities, and in the 1990s he got an award from President V. Havel 35 for propagating our culture abroad.

That extreme egocentricity of his bothers me a lot, but in my old age I've realized that that's the key to him. He's not alone. It's not possible for people who have accomplished something to be different. For them their work is the center of the universe, and everyone else is there to serve them. He was always a strong personality, which I've never been. He never had to walk through that dark hallway. He really is exceptionally educated and clever, and looks great. He had several women - all Portuguese, mostly from his field - and several children. He's got six children of his own, and two by marriage. His youngest child is nine, and my brother will be 85 this November. Not one of his wives was of Jewish origin. He doesn't deny that he's Jewish in any fashion, but neither does he show it off. He never lived in a Jewish manner, not one little bit. We weren't brought up that way.

For a long time after being fired from Barrandov, about two years, I couldn't find a job; they wouldn't even vet me for working in a factory. Those were hard times, but I survived it all, and finally I ended up back in film. Prior to that I worked for some time for the Nase Vojsko [Our Army] publishing house, but when my background was again exposed, I again had to leave.

I returned to film sometime in 1954 with the help of a classmate of mine from the faculty, because she was Z. Nejedly's secretary. [Nejedly, Zdenek (1878 - 1962): Czech historian, musicologist and critic, publicist and politician] Basically it couldn't happen normally. At first I worked in the film library. That was on Klimentska Street, but it belonged under Central Czech Film. There I put together these yearbooks. What had been done, what films had been made, and so on. It of course bored me immensely. But then I got into the press department of the Central Film Lending Office on Narodni Avenue. And in 1963 I left there to do dramaturgy for animated and puppet films.

In the beginning we were located at Klarov, where the metro [station] is now. There was a pavilion there, which they tore down. Then we were at Barrandov. I stayed there until the end, until I retired, and enjoyed it very much. I also worked past retirement quite a while. I think that I retired the year of the revolution, when I was already 63. But even after that I would occasionally do something there. I worked in dramaturgy, and then also began to write things for children. There you could after all do lots of things, it wasn't under such strict political surveillance, even though we also had problems. I even got some sort of reprimand, because we adapted some text by Skvorecky into animated form. [Skvorecky, Josef (b 1924): Czech writer of prose, essayist and translator] He was also one of my friends, by the way.

I was married twice. My first husband was named Josef Till, an architect. He was born in 1924. I don't even know any more how we met. We were married in 1955, and I was with him for four years. We had no children. My first husband was good and kind, but drank. That was the main reason for our divorce. He's still alive, and we still have a good relationship. What's interesting is that his mother was a Russian woman that his father had brought home with him as a legionnaire during World War I. I didn't realize until afterwards that there's always this affinity to people that aren't completely normal, the same as I was never completely normal. I was Jewish and he was half Russian. In the beginning you don't even know it, you don't find out until later, that he's also different.

When I married for a second time in 1963, I married a Jew. But again I didn't know back then that he'd lived through what I had. It didn't occur to me that he could also be a Jew, he doesn't look it at all. But I think that the common experience then probably connected us. Those feelings of alienation that accompany a person, we didn't have to explain that to each other. We understood each other.

My second husband is named Jiri Munk. He's younger than I am, he was born in Brandys nad Labem on 2nd November 1932. We met through my first husband, they worked together. His father was Adolf Munk, a lawyer, and his mother was named Olga, née Nachodova. She was also from a lawyer's family, the practice apparently belonged to her father, but I don't know that for certain. I do know that she had a sister, and when they somehow lost their mother early on, some aunt brought them up. I think that perhaps they observed some of the High Holidays there in Brandys.

My husband's family could have emigrated too; I think that they applied for an affidavit and were supposed to go to Rhodesia, to southern Africa. I think it's maybe called Zimbabwe these days. His grandfather was a farmer, very successful; though he was a Jew, he was successful in pig farming. He was an expert that was known far and wide. As far as I know, at that time Rhodesia was the only country accepting people, and they were accepting only farmers. You also had to have some money. I think that they did send some money, quite a large sum, and the Germans confiscated it for the so- called emigrant fund. They said that they'd use that money to move the Jews to Madagascar, and the Czechs to Patagonia. The few people that did emigrate were rich, they had information and some contacts.

I think that they went to Terezin on the Hradec Kralove transport sometime in January 1943, a month after me. My husband's father was shutting down the local Jewish community in Brandys, and taking care of everything, so everyone in the family went into the transport a month later than other people in Brandys. Which was also lucky for them, because the previous transport, the one that everyone from Brandys left on, kept going onwards, to Poland. I dare say that almost no one from that one returned.

In Terezin, little children lived with their mothers, and older ones with their fathers. My husband's mother worked with mica in war manufacture, which is why she remained in Terezin and thus protected her youngest child, my husband. My husband's father unfortunately went onwards from Terezin along with my husband's brother, Viktor. His father didn't return, he died in Auschwitz. Viktor did, but was in terrible shape. Alas, he died a few years ago.

My husband's sister, Helena, got married in Terezin during the war - that had to be renewed in some fashion after the war - and this marriage saved her life. Her husband, Rudolf Kovanic, was on one of the first transports; they put the ghetto together, and were then protected. At the end of the war, several dozen young married couples were picked out, who were exchanged into Switzerland. There they shut them up in another camp. They were of course allowed out only once the war was over, some vehicle from what was then Czechoslovakia came for them.

My husband's brother, Viktor, had an exceptional talent for art. He studied at UMPRUM [Academy of Arts, Architecture and Design in Prague] or at another art school. But some sort of student revolt took place there. Everyone took it back, except for him, and from that time he isolated himself and despite being very talented, all he did was make some sort of stickers here near Prague. Not until years later, only after his death - he died of skin cancer - did I succeed in putting on a big exhibition of his work, in the Spanish Synagogue. He was really a fantastic painter. The exhibition got a lot of publicity. They wrote about it in 'Revolver Revue' 36, for example. But while he was still alive, he didn't want to allow any exhibitions, nor to sell anything. He gave his pictures to his siblings, on various occasions. We've got a few of them at home. He married very late in life because he was ill for a long time. His wife was named Jitka. They lived by Karlovy Vary 37, where he did all sorts of work, but then packaged trumpets. He didn't live in any particularly religious fashion.

My husband was also talented, in his case it was musically. Already in Grade One they were attempting to convince his parents to do something with it. But even though his mother returned from the concentration camp, she had never been on her own, and suddenly here she was, alone with her children; she was incapable of doing anything, though she was around 50. It was horrible. My husband graduated from architecture, the same as my first husband. As a joke, I say that I stayed with that profession. For years he worked as an architect, but now he doesn't want to anymore. He was an expert on chain stores, and wrote a book about it. He mainly wanted to concern himself with historical buildings, but he never got to. At that time there was actually no real architecture being done, it was Socialist Realism. Now, after the revolution, when he could have started, it was so corrupt that he wouldn't have lasted. Bribes, everything is based on bribes.

I remember 1989 very well. It was freezing cold, and I was going with [people from] Barrandov, with animated film, to Wenceslaus Square with keys. [Editor's note: during the Velvet Revolution, people symbolically expressed their dissatisfaction with the Communist regime by jingling their keys during demonstrations.] We were naive, absolutely naive. We didn't realize that people can't change. The people remained the same. I soon got over my enthusiasm. It declined, but it of course had to decline, because as far as morality goes, it had been declining since 1939. There was no other option, that moral downhill coast is long-term.

After the revolution, we had problems with restitutions. In 1948, I was supposed to have part of an inheritance left by Bohumil Sinek, the brother of my grandfather Adolf Synek. Many relatives didn't survive the war, and some that emigrated gave up their inheritances. At that time after the war, we agreed to put it in my cousin Milena's name because of inheritance tax, as she was the only one that was a minor, and didn't have to pay the tax. I myself didn't have any money to pay the tax. But after the revolution, she claimed the entire building - and it's a large property, a large building at 11 Bilkova Street, four stories, with a store below -in the restitutions.

It wasn't an issue of thousands, but many millions. I of course have no witness to our agreement. So now at least I don't have to worry what to do with the money. I'm not the type of person that knows how to handle it. The devil take it. But I did then send her a message that she's the one that's going to have to live with her conscience. My brother could of course have sued her, but he was abroad after the war, and hadn't given anything up, but he also said the hell with it. But it's something that I can't understand, as far as morality goes.

My husband and I had only one child, our daughter Hana. She was born on 24th June 1965. So she had an old mommy. For a long time, I didn't want children, but they talked me into it. She studied physical education at the Faculty of Education. She had to take Russian as her minor, and when the revolution took place, everyone said to hell with it. People say they don't like Russian, but that's stupid. Once day it'll be needed. She then finished psychology at the Faculty of Philosophy, but educational, not the clinical kind. Well, it's basically useless. She finished school, and is trying to live as a freelancer, but it's a problem.

She made a film, about this forgotten figure from the First Republic, the artist Robert Guttmann [Guttmann, Robert (1880 - 1942): a noted Prague painter and Zionist; died in the Lodz ghetto]. She found some paintings and something about him, there was a fair bit of it, and though she also directed it and didn't have any experience, it wasn't bad. She also wrote a nice script about Uncle Viktor, because there's a lot of information about him too. What's more, they also did an interview with him so there's also text. But it needed support from the state cinematography fund. We tried to get it three times, but to no end.

She also did some book covers - they were quite inventive - but in general it's bad, she doesn't have too many possibilities. She's not in some team, and it's impossible to do on your own. Among other things, she recently turned 40, and that's old already. She tried to find work, but that's out of the question. Why would they take her, when they can take a 20-year-old, whom they'll give half the salary? She could go teach immediately. But she said that she'd rather be homeless than be a teacher.

She has no children, but has a dog that she loves very much. I don't think that she is even able to have kids. She's very sociable, and looks very young. People often address her informally. I think that my states of anxiety have unfortunately been passed to my child as well. She's very unstable. I think that the second and sometimes even the third generation of those that were imprisoned during the war is marked in this way. They're always extreme in some manner. They're either extremely active and assertive, or the opposite extreme. But I'm judging only from the few people around me that I know.

I was in Israel with this one travel agency, it was an excellent trip. The itinerary included both Jewish and Christian historical sites, otherwise I wouldn't have gone with them, because I want to see as much as possible. Jerusalem made an amazing impression on me. A beautiful city, you can smell the history there, is how I might put it. When I first arrived there, it seemed to me that everything there was too white. But then I suddenly saw that it belonged there. Apparently it's even a regulation passed by the mayor, that whatever is being built has to be white.

As far as emotions go, what made the biggest impression on me was the desert. I liked it very much. Shadows in the desert. That made an artistic impression on me. And we were just driving through it, this was just what I saw out of the bus window.

I went there together with my husband for eight days, which of course isn't that long. There were two people from Prague there, one was for modern Israel, he was even a dentist by profession, basically an enthusiast. He knew everything. The second tour guide was for historical things. Then there was a third one, a local Israeli, who took care of organizational matters. The travel agency is named Ars Viva, it's a travel agency for artists and architects, we've traveled with them several times already. They do a lot of museum tours, it's aimed more at the artistic side of things. Those people don't go around shopping.

I liked it in Israel very much. Maybe I'll go there again to have another look, I know some people there who I was with during the war, but no one closer than that. We saw very little of Tel Aviv, we didn't have enough time left, but I don't think that's a big loss, it's a modern city. We weren't in those hotels by the sea either, there wasn't time for that. We spent a whole three days in Jerusalem, and we even lived in a hotel in the old part. There we were, among other places, in the beautiful Museum of Modern Art. They've got statues installed outside, which you don't see very often. And all the things they've got there, I couldn't even fathom it all. South America, Australia. Amazing.

As far as the political situation goes, I'm absolutely skeptical. I don't think that it can be resolved in some way. I think that today I'm living in a world where unfortunately nothing can be resolved. I don't know, the older I am, the less questions I have answers for. I'd like it for them to live there side by side in some decent fashion, but I fear that it's not possible. When Israel was created, I didn't even know about it. I was in completely different circles. Just a little bit got through to me during the Six-Day-War 38.

I never thought about emigrating to Israel at all, God forbid. I'd die without that Czech countryside. Czechs will of course get used to everything, that's a second truth, but what it's like for them, that's a third truth. I for one love Prague, even though it's ruined, but it's a part of my childhood and youth. Then I love our country's countryside, it's beautiful, varied, you'll find everything here.

Right now, the only thing that bothers me is that everything is more and more superficial. Or uncultured. Everyone wants to be well off, or better, that's a normal reaction, but alas the most shallow, primitive outlook is used, and everything is about consumerism. I'm simply a person of the 20th century, not the 21st. I can't erase that from myself. The 20th century marked us, I for example am at odds with technology. That point of view of ours is simply different. Just like I laughed at my grandfather when he talked about Austro-Hungary and about World War I. We thought he was making it up.

I myself never concerned myself with faith, for me it wasn't an issue, which probably isn't common. According to me it's an anachronism, the way that Jewish orthodoxy manifests itself is an anachronism. Those 640 prohibitions or how many there are. [Mitzvah: religious regulation or commandment that a Jew is obliged to fulfill. According to Talmudic tradition, there are 613 commandments in all, 248 positive ones and 365 negative ones.] Then what most bothers me is the position of women, which for me is absolutely demeaning. But if someone accepts it like that, then it's all right. But this is what would repel me the most. But it would repel me from other religions as well. This really is an anachronism, even though they say that thanks to this it's survived. But I'm not so sure about that. Abroad there are even female rabbis, in America. Here they'd have a fit.

About four years ago we succeeded in having a survey done at the Jewish community. It was done by an agency specializing in this. The goal of the survey was to find out what the community's members think its direction should be. Whether orthodox or not, and what their wishes are. There were of course more questions than just that. The results of the survey were 80 percent liberally thinking people and 20 percent orthodox ones. What do you think happened? Nothing. They steamrollered them. That 20 percent completely steamrollered the 80 percent.

According to me, faith is a philosophical question, it doesn't relate only to Judaism. And that's something I don't think I have resolved to this day. Faith is a gift, and I didn't get it. So it doesn't mean that I condemn it. On the contrary, I think that maybe those people's lives are easier, I don't know. When I found out something about Buddhism, if that can even be considered a religion, that's the only one that's sympathetic. But I don't know if it's like that in practice. But if it helps someone, that's fine. Subconsciously, some sort of searching is of course in everyone, and it doesn't matter what it's called. Certainly everyone asks themselves questions about the meaning of life, more or less deep ones.

After the war it never even occurred to me to go to the Jewish community. Not until later, when I needed some confirmation, probably that I had been in the transport. Back then, I ran into one very distant relative there, some Dr. Iltis, who was in charge of the Jewish magazine at the time. When he saw me, he said, 'Hey, you used to write poems.' He was this slight little man, he led me around some offices there, and was saying, 'Look, there's this child here.' Well, I was already 19 or so. I remember going into a room full of birth registers, where they were looking for some information so they could give me that confirmation. It depressed me terribly. It was all dark there. I just took the document and never returned there. Back then in 1950 my tendency was more to pretend that I didn't belong there at all.

When I retired it was after the revolution, so I had the feeling that I should maybe help those surviving Jews in some way. I was under the impression, and I was probably right, that the survivors would often be in a situation where they wouldn't be able to communicate with neither the middle nor the younger generation. And that it's necessary to explain something. Actually, in their own way it was the media that forced me into it, because they did interviews with me on this subject. I also paid some sort of debt of mine when I wrote a script about Gustav Schorsch, who helped me very much back then in Terezin. [Schorsch, Gustav (1918 - 1945): Czech stage director of Jewish origin. Shot in January 1945 during the liquidation of the Fürstengrube concentration camp.] I was glad that it could be done.

So I had to penetrate that Jewish environment. But I myself am secularized, I can't do anything about that, and also don't know why I should suddenly put on a false front, just because it's suddenly in fashion. I am first and foremost a citizen of the Czech Republic, and then by chance, thanks to Hitler, I was put into some other pigeonhole. I think that any sort of extreme direction leads to a certain undemocratic manifestation, and to restricting others. That basically often elicits in me such an exaggerated reaction that I don't want to let myself be classified anywhere, and that I want to be independent. It leads to a certain aloneness and loneliness. When you don't want to belong anywhere, you have to come to terms with yourself. I'm not too successful at that.

Recently, about a year ago, some Austrian was coming here, a writer, and did some interviews with me. The most important thing in that interview is the motto that I haven't come to terms, and never will. Even though I know that things can't be changed. Maybe it's a childish rebellion, but it expresses my attitude.

I had unpleasant experiences with anti-Semitism. Right after the war, I went to register with the Political Prisoners' Association. They didn't accept me, that they don't accept Jews. That it wasn't resistance activity. Then, people didn't want to return things that my father had hidden in places before the war. Then, when they were throwing me out of Barrandov. At that time they said that they didn't have anything against me, but that Jewish origin...that apparently I was unreliable.

During those worst times in my life, what helped me a lot was practicing expressive dance with Jarmila Kröschlova [Kröschlova, Jarmila (1893 - 1983): Czech dancer, choreographer and teacher]. Sometimes a person has to stop, concentrate and relax. The way it began was that after the war my brother was living with the dancer Rene Zachovalova, who had helped him during the war. She was in Jarmila Kröschlova's dance group. Rene brought me there, but I attended for only a short time, because you had to pay, and I didn't have money. So it took a while before I was able to return again, but with small interruptions I've been attending to this day. Sometimes I also teach. But it's just my hobby, not a profession.

Jarmila Kröschlova was excellent, she taught movement to all the actors at the conservatory. She lived a long time; when she died she was over 90. She was even allowed to teach privately, even though that was forbidden in the 1950s. She taught actors and we also used to go to her. But her dance group wasn't together any more. I managed to see Dvorak's [Dvorak, Antonin (1841 - 1904): Czech composer] Slavonic Dances, soon after the war, where she was still dancing. By then she was well over 50. She was a beautiful woman, tall. And she wrote books on theory that by me are the best in Europe. One is named 'O pohybu' [On Movement] and another 'Nauka o tanci' [Dance Theory].

We, as her posthumous children, rent a dance hall from the Popular School of Art on Dittrichova Street, below Karlovo namesti [Charles Square], once a week for two hours in the morning, because the children attend in the afternoon. Several students of long years attend. Of all those people, three of us have remained that can teach a bit, which is Eva Vyskocilova, the wife of Ivan Vyskocil [Vyskocil, Ivan (b. 1929): Czech dramatist, writer of prose and actor], the writer, then Mila Babicka and I. On Tuesday we have two hours in a row, and around ten people usually come, these 'old ladies.' But if you saw it, it's like waving a magic wand, when they put those T-shirts on. You can see on them that all their lives they've been doing things. Really. And then we go for coffee.

We've known each other for ages. Teaching is terribly interesting, I love to watch them sometimes. The body speaks, that's amazing, even the way you move your hand, and from that movement of theirs I can read a whole bunch of things. Everyone moves a little differently, and also someone grasps it better, and that sense in their body awakens more easily for them. That what we're practicing now is basically relaxation, these gymnastics, for example everything that you can do with your shoulder joint. So that you're aware of it.

I've got to say, that many times movement saved me from deep depression. And that it gave me more than all words, even more than all literature. When you start moving, you refresh yourself a bit, and it cleanses a bit. Jarmila Kröschlova's maxim, when I summarize it with one very superficial sentence, was for a person to get movement in tune with thoughts. This way you get into balance, you relax, and in that moment you forget that you exist. I think that it's horrible when a person can't move anymore. Horrible. I've got this one friend, a philosopher, who now just sits and lies there. He's got willpower, he writes, publishes books, but nevertheless it's terrible. I'm very grateful to Jarmila Kröschlova. And I'm not alone.

What to add: after the end of the war and my studies, and various reversals of fortune and tribulations during the time of totality, my absorption with words manifested itself in dramaturgy, scriptwriting and journalistic work. Besides the book 'Motyli tady neziji' [Butterflies Don't Live Here], which features the drawings and poems of the imprisoned children of Terezin, 1942 - 1945, and was translated into many languages, which contains my poems, often inspiring musicians and authors of programs about the Holocaust, I wrote - later primarily with my husband Jiri Munk - script treatments for children's animated serials, which are often broadcast on TV. Later also for short animated films and several documentaries. Recently my husband and I have had two children's books published, about dog cartoon characters, Staflik and Spageta. I can't count how many films I've done the dramaturgy for.

Further enumeration of my various activities isn't important, because at the end of all activity, a person asks himself the question of their relevance. Did I at least partly preserve my father's legacy? My mother's legacy, whom I missed so much, and who luckily didn't live to see the horrific war years? More and more questions without answers pile up around me. So only one difficult effort remains. To come to terms.

Glossary

1 Anti-Jewish laws in the Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia

In March 1939, there lived in the Protectorate 92,199 inhabitants classified according to the so-called Nuremberg Laws as Jews. On 21st June 1939, Konstantin von Neurath, the Reich Protector, passed the so-called Edict Regarding Jewish Property, which put restrictions on Jewish property. On 24th April 1940, a government edict was passed which eliminated Jews from economic activity. Similarly like previous legal changes it was based on the Nuremburg Law definitions and limited the legal standing of Jews. According to the law, Jews couldn't perform any functions (honorary or paid) in the courts or public service and couldn't participate at all in politics, be members of Jewish organizations and other organizations of social, cultural and economic nature. They were completely barred from performing any independent occupation, couldn't work as lawyers, doctors, veterinarians, notaries, defense attorneys and so on. Jewish residents could participate in public life only in the realm of religious Jewish organizations. Jews were forbidden to enter certain streets, squares, parks and other public places. From September 1939 they were forbidden from being outside their home after 8pm. Beginning in November 1939 they couldn't leave, even temporarily, their place of residence without special permission. Residents of Jewish extraction were barred from visiting theaters and cinemas, restaurants and cafés, swimming pools, libraries and other entertainment and sports centers. On public transport they were limited to standing room in the last car, in trains they weren't allowed to use dining or sleeping cars and could ride only in the lowest class, again only in the last car. They weren't allowed entry into waiting rooms and other station facilities. The Nazis limited shopping hours for Jews to twice two hours and later only two hours per day. They confiscated radio equipment and limited their choice of groceries. Jews weren't allowed to keep animals at home. Jewish children were prevented from visiting German, and, from August 1940, also Czech public and private schools. In March 1941 even so-called re-education courses organized by the Jewish Religious Community were forbidden, and from June 1942 also education in Jewish schools. To eliminate Jews from society it was important that they be easily identifiable. Beginning in March 1940, citizenship cards of Jews were marked by the letter 'J' (for Jude - Jew). From 1st September 1941 Jews older than six could only go out in public if they wore a yellow six- pointed star with 'Jude' written on it on their clothing.

2 Terezin/Theresienstadt

A ghetto in the Czech Republic, run by the SS. Jews were transferred from there to various extermination camps. The Nazis, who presented Theresienstadt as a 'model Jewish settlement,' used it to camouflage the extermination of European Jews. Czech gendarmes served as ghetto guards, and with their help the Jews were able to maintain contact with the outside world. Although education was prohibited, regular classes were held, clandestinely. Thanks to the large number of artists, writers, and scholars in the ghetto, there was an intensive program of cultural activities. At the end of 1943, when word spread of what was happening in the Nazi camps, the Germans decided to allow an International Red Cross investigation committee to visit Theresienstadt. In preparation, more prisoners were deported to Auschwitz, in order to reduce congestion in the ghetto. Dummy stores, a café, a bank, kindergartens, a school, and flower gardens were put up to deceive the committee.

3 Hasek, Jaroslav (1883-1923)

Czech humorist, satirist, author of stories, travelogues, essays, and journalistic articles. His participation in WWI was the main source of his literary inspiration and developed into the character of Schweik in the four-volume unfinished but world-famous novel, The Good Soldier Schweik. Hasek moved about in the Bohemian circles of Prague's artistic community. He also satirically interpreted Jewish social life and customs of his time. With the help of Jewish themes he exposed the ludicrousness and absurdity of state bureaucracy, militarism, clericalism and Catholicism. (Information for this entry culled from Benét's Reader's Encyclopedia and other sources)

4 Lodz Ghetto

It was set up in February 1940 in the former Jewish quarter on the northern outskirts of the city. 164,000 Jews from Lodz were packed together in a 4 sq. km. area. In 1941 and 1942, 38,500 more Jews were deported to the ghetto. In November 1941, 5,000 Roma were also deported to the ghetto from Burgenland province, Austria. The Jewish self- government, led by Mordechai Rumkowsky, sought to make the ghetto as productive as possible and to put as many inmates to work as he could. But not even this could prevent overcrowding and hunger or improve the inhuman living conditions. As a result of epidemics, shortages of fuel and food and insufficient sanitary conditions, about 43,500 people (21% of all the residents of the ghetto) died of undernourishment, cold and illness. The others were transported to death camps; only a very small number of them survived.

5 Masaryk, Tomas Garrigue (1850-1937)

Czechoslovak political leader and philosopher and chief founder of the First Czechoslovak Republic. He founded the Czech People's Party in 1900, which strove for Czech independence within the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy, for the protection of minorities and the unity of Czechs and Slovaks. After the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy in 1918, Masaryk became the first president of Czechoslovakia. He was reelected in 1920, 1927, and 1934. Among the first acts of his government was an extensive land reform. He steered a moderate course on such sensitive issues as the status of minorities, especially the Slovaks and Germans, and the relations between the church and the state. Masaryk resigned in 1935 and Edvard Benes, his former foreign minister, succeeded him.

6 Sparta

The Sparta Praha club was founded on 16th November 1893. A memorial of the first very famous era of the club's history are first and foremost two victories in the Central European Cup, which in the 1920s and 1930s had the same significance as today's Champions League. Sparta, usually with Slavia, always formed the foundation of the national team and therefore its players were present during the greatest successes of the Czechoslovak and Czech teams.

7 Anti-Jewish laws in the Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia

In March 1939, there lived in the Protectorate 92,199 inhabitants classified according to the so-called Nuremberg Laws as Jews. On 21st June 1939, Konstantin von Neurath, the Reich Protector, passed the so-called Edict Regarding Jewish Property, which put restrictions on Jewish property. On 24th April 1940, a government edict was passed which eliminated Jews from economic activity. Similarly like previous legal changes it was based on the Nuremburg Law definitions and limited the legal standing of Jews. According to the law, Jews couldn't perform any functions (honorary or paid) in the courts or public service and couldn't participate at all in politics, be members of Jewish organizations and other organizations of social, cultural and economic nature. They were completely barred from performing any independent occupation, couldn't work as lawyers, doctors, veterinarians, notaries, defense attorneys and so on. Jewish residents could participate in public life only in the realm of religious Jewish organizations. Jews were forbidden to enter certain streets, squares, parks and other public places. From September 1939 they were forbidden from being outside their home after 8pm. Beginning in November 1939 they couldn't leave, even temporarily, their place of residence without special permission. Residents of Jewish extraction were barred from visiting theaters and cinemas, restaurants and cafés, swimming pools, libraries and other entertainment and sports centers. On public transport they were limited to standing room in the last car, in trains they weren't allowed to use dining or sleeping cars and could ride only in the lowest class, again only in the last car. They weren't allowed entry into waiting rooms and other station facilities. The Nazis limited shopping hours for Jews to twice two hours and later only two hours per day. They confiscated radio equipment and limited their choice of groceries. Jews weren't allowed to keep animals at home. Jewish children were prevented from visiting German, and, from August 1940, also Czech public and private schools. In March 1941 even so-called re-education courses organized by the Jewish Religious Community were forbidden, and from June 1942 also education in Jewish schools. To eliminate Jews from society it was important that they be easily identifiable. Beginning in March 1940, citizenship cards of Jews were marked by the letter 'J' (for Jude - Jew). From 1st September 1941 Jews older than six could only go out in public if they wore a yellow six- pointed star with 'Jude' written on it on their clothing. 8 Zivnostenska Party: A right-of-center party of small businessmen, founded in 1906 in Bohemia, and, two years later in Moravia, which existed until 1938. The party did not have its own clean-cut program, never became a mass party and never reached more than 5,4 percent of votes in parliamentary elections. The best-known representatives of the party were Rudolf Mlcoch and Josef Najman.

9 Sokol

One of the best-known Czech sports organizations. It was founded in 1862 as the first physical educational organization in the Austro- Hungarian Monarchy. Besides regular training of all age groups, units organized sports competitions, colorful gymnastics rallies, cultural events including drama, literature and music, excursions and youth camps. Although its main goal had always been the promotion of national health and sports, Sokol also played a key role in the national resistance to the Austro- Hungarian Empire, the Nazi occupation and the communist regime. Sokol flourished between the two World Wars; its membership grew to over a million. Important statesmen, including the first two presidents of interwar Czechoslovakia, Tomas Garrigue Masaryk and Edvard Benes, were members of Sokol. Sokol was banned three times: during World War I, during the Nazi occupation and finally by the communists after 1948, but branches of the organization continued to exist abroad. Sokol was restored in 1990.

10 Czech-Jewish Movement

Czech assimilation had two unique aspects - Jews did not assimilate from the original ghetto, and gave up German. Therefore they decided to assimilate into a non-ruling nation. After the year 1867 the first graduates began coming out of high schools. The members of the first generation of the C-J movement considered themselves to be Jews only by denomination. The C-J question was for them a question of linguistic, national and cultural assimilation. They strove for "de- Germanization", published C-J literature, organized patriotic balls, entertainment, lectures, founded associations.The rise of anti-Semitism and the close of the 19th century caused a deep crisis within the C-J movement. In 1907 the Union of Czech Progressive Jews was founded by a group of malcontents. This younger generation gave the movement a new impulse: assimilation was considered to be first and foremost a religio-ethical one, that Czech nationality was an unchanging fact, somewhat complicated by Jewish origins. They didn't consider being Czech as a question of language or nationality, but a religio-ethical problem, a matter of spiritual standard.

11 First Czechoslovak Republic (1918-1938)

The First Czechoslovak Republic was created after the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy following World War I. The union of the Czech lands and Slovakia was officially proclaimed in Prague in 1918, and formally recognized by the Treaty of St. Germain in 1919. Ruthenia was added by the Treaty of Trianon in 1920. Czechoslovakia inherited the greater part of the industries of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy and the new government carried out an extensive land reform, as a result of which the living conditions of the peasantry increasingly improved. However, the constitution of 1920 set up a highly centralized state and failed to take into account the issue of national minorities, and thus internal political life was dominated by the struggle of national minorities (especially the Hungarians and the Germans) against Czech rule. In foreign policy Czechoslovakia kept close contacts with France and initiated the foundation of the Little Entente in 1921.

12 Exclusion of Jews from schools in the Protectorate

The Ministry of Education of the Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia sent round a ministerial decree in 1940, which stated that from school year 1940/41 Jewish pupils were not allowed to visit Czech public and private schools and those who were already in school should be excluded. After 1942 Jews were not allowed to visit Jewish schools or courses organized by the Jewish communities either. 13 Yellow star - Jewish star in Protectorate: On 1st September 1941 an edict was issued according to which all Jews having reached the age of six were forbidden to appear in public without the Jewish star. The Jewish star is represented by a hand-sized, six-pointed yellow star outlined in black, with the word 'Jude' in black letters. It had to be worn in a visible place on the left side of the article of clothing. This edict came into force on 19th September 1941. It was another step aimed at eliminating Jews from society. The idea's author was Reinhard Heydrich himself.

14 Vlajka (Flag)

Fascist group in Czechoslovakia, founded in 1930 and active before and during WWII. Its main representative was Josef Rys- Rozsevac (1901-1946). The group's political program was extreme right, anti- Semitic and tended to Nazism. At the beginning of the 1940s Vlajka merged with the Czech National Socialist Camp and collaborated with the German secret police, but the group never had any real political power.

15 Nemcova Bozena (1820-1862)

Whose maiden name was Barbora Panklova, was born in Vienna into the family of Johann Pankl, a nobleman's coachman. Was significantly influenced during the years 1825-29 by her upbringing at the hands of her grandmother Magdalena Novotna. In 1837 she was married to financial official Josef Nemec. She contributed to a number of magazines. She was inspired by the stories of common folk to write seven collections of folk tales and legends and ten collections of Slovak fairy tales and legends, which are generally a gripping fictional adaptation of fairy-tale themes. Through her works Nemcova has to her credit the bringing together of the Czech and Slovak nations and their cultures. She is the author of travelogues and ethnographic sketches, realistic stories of the countryside and the supreme novel Granny. Thanks to her rich folkloristic work and particularly her work "Granny", Bozena Nemcova has taken her place among Czech national icons.

16 Macha, Karel Hynek (1810-1836)

Representative of High Romanticism, whose poetry, prose and drama express important questions of human existence. Reflections on Judaism (and human emancipation as a whole) play an important role in his work. Macha belonged to the intellectual avant- garde of the Czech national society. He studied law. Macha died suddenly of weakening of the organism and of cholera on 6th November 1836. Macha's works (Krivoklad, 1834) refer to a certain contemporary and social vagueness in Jewish material - Jews are seen romantically and sentimentally as beings exceptional, tragically ostracized, and internally beautiful. They are subjects of admiration as well as condolence.

17 Dostoevsky, Fyodor (1821-1881)

Russian novelist, journalist and short- story writer whose psychological penetration into the human soul had a profound influence on the 20th century novel. His novels anticipated many of the ideas of Nietzsche and Freud. Dostoevsky's novels contain many autobiographical elements, but ultimately they deal with moral and philosophical issues. He presented interacting characters with contrasting views or ideas about freedom of choice, socialism, atheisms, good and evil, happiness and so forth.

18 Kafka, Franz (1883-1924)

Austrian writer of Jewish descent. A lawyer by profession, he worked as an insurance agent in Prague. After a debut in the press in 1909, he published only a few stories in his lifetime including The Metamorphosis, The Judgment, and The Hunger Artist. He requested his manuscripts to be destroyed after his death, but his friend, Max Brod, published his novels The Trial, The Castle, and America. Kafka's writing is highly unconventional, expressive, dominated by the atmosphere of fear, alienation and the feeling of being lost and helpless vis a vis the mechanisms of power. Kafka's diaries and correspondence were also published.

19 Pritomnost

Magazine founded in 1924 by Ferdinand Peroutka. It became presumably the best political magazine of its time. After the Nazi occupation of Czechoslovakia, Peroutka was deported to the Buchenwald concentration camp. After the war Pritomnost was revived under the name Dnesek; with February 1948 all came to an end. Revived in January 1995 under the name Nova Pritomnost. In January 2000, Nova Pritomnost returned to Peroutka's original name of Pritomnost.

20 Peroutka, Ferdinand (1895-1978)

Czech journalist and political publicist of liberal orientation. In 1948 went into exile, 1951-61 was in charge of the Czechoslovak broadcasts of Radio Free Europe. 21 Anschluss: The German term "Anschluss" (literally: connection) refers to the inclusion of Austria in a "Greater Germany" in 1938. In February 1938, Austrian Chancellor Schuschnigg had been invited to visit Hitler at his mountain retreat at Berchtesgaden. A two-hour tirade against Schuschnigg and his government followed, ending with an ultimatum, which Schuschnigg signed. On his return to Vienna, Schuschnigg proved both courageous and foolhardy. He decided to reaffirm Austria's independence, and scheduled a plebiscite for Sunday, 13th March, to determine whether Austrians wanted a "free, independent, social, Christian and united Austria." Hitler' protégé, Seyss-Inquart, presented Schuschnigg with another ultimatum: Postpone the plebiscite or face a German invasion. On 11th March Schuschnigg gave in and canceled the plebiscite. On 12th March 1938 Hitler announced the annexation of Austria. When German troops crossed into Austria, they were welcomed with flowers and Nazi flags. Hitler arrived later that day to a rapturous reception in his hometown of Linz. Less well disposed Austrians soon learned what the "Anschluss" held in store for them. Known Socialists and Communists were stripped to the waist and flogged. Jews were forced to scrub streets and public latrines. Schuschnigg ended up in a concentration camp and was only freed in 1945 by American troops.

22 Winton, Sir Nicholas (b

1909): A British broker and humanitarian worker, who in 1939 saved 669 Jewish children from the territory of the endangered Czechoslovakia from death by transporting them to Great Britain.

23 Velvet Revolution

Also known as November Events, this term is used for the period between 17th November and 29th December 1989, which resulted in the downfall of the Czechoslovak communist regime. A non-violent political revolution in Czechoslovakia that meant the transition from Communist dictatorship to democracy. The Velvet Revolution began with a police attack against Prague students on 17th November 1989. That same month the citizen's democratic movement Civic Forum (OF) in Czech and Public Against Violence (VPN) in Slovakia were formed. On 10th December a government of National Reconciliation was established, which started to realize democratic reforms. On 29th December Vaclav Havel was elected president. In June 1990 the first democratic elections since 1948 took place.

24 Brundibar

The children's opera Brundibar was created in 1938 for a contest announced by the then Czechoslovak Ministry of Schools and National Education. It was composed by Hans Krasa based on a libretto by Adolf Hoffmeister. The first performance of Brundibar - by residents of the Jewish orphanage in Prague - wasn't seen by the composer. He had been deported to Terezin. Not long after him, Rudolf Freudenfeld, the son of the orphanage's director, who had rehearsed the opera with the children, was also transported. This opera had more than 50 official performances in Terezin. The idea of solidarity, collective battle against the enemy and the victory of good over evil today speaks to people the whole world over. Today the opera is performed on hundreds of stages in various corners of the world.

25 Mlada Fronta

The idea of the creation of a young people's publisher came about during World War II in the illegal Youth Movement for Freedom. For this purpose they selected a printer's oin Panska Street in Prague, where the Nazi daily "Der Neue Tag" was being published, and in May 1945 they occupied it and began publishing their own daily paper. The first editor-in-chief of Mlada Fronta was the poet Vladimir Horec. Up until the end of 1989, the daily paper Mlada Fronta was published by the publishing house of the same name. From September 1990, the readership base and editorial staff were transferred over to the MaFra company, which began to publish a daily paper with a similar name, Mlada Fronta DNES.

26 Small Fortress (Mala pevnost) in Theresienstadt

An infamous prison, used by two totalitarian regimes: Nazi Germany and communist Czechoslovakia. It was built in the 18th century as a part of a fortification system and almost from the beginning it was used as a prison. In 1940 the Gestapo took it over and kept mostly political prisoners there: members of various resistance movements. Approximately 32,000 detainees were kept in Small Fortress during the Nazi occupation. Communist Czechoslovakia continued using it as a political prison; after 1945 German civilians were confined there before they were expelled from the country.

27 Ravensbrück

Concentration camp for women near Fürstenberg, Germany. Five hundred prisoners transported there from Sachsenhausen began construction at the end of 1938. They built 14 barracks and service buildings, as well as a small camp for men, which was completed separated from the women's camp. The buildings were surrounded by tall walls and electrified barbed wire. The first deportees, some 900 German and Austrian women were transported there on 18th May 1939, soon followed by 400 Austrian Gypsy women. At the end of 1939, due to the new groups constantly arriving, the camp held nearly 3000 persons. With the expansion of the war, people from twenty countries were taken here. Persons incapable of working were transported on to Uckermark or Auschwitz, and sent to the gas chambers, others were murdered during 'medical' experiments. By the end of 1942, the camp reached 15,000 prisoners, by 1943, with the arrival of groups from the Soviet Union, it reached 42,000. During the working existence of the camp, altogether nearly 132,000 women and children were transported here, of these, 92,000 were murdered. In March of 1945, the SS decided to move the camp, so in April those capable of walking were deported on a death march. On 30th April 1945, those who survived the camp and death march, were liberated by the Soviet armies.

28 Joint (American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee)

The Joint was formed in 1914 with the fusion of three American Jewish committees of assistance, which were alarmed by the suffering of Jews during World War I. In late 1944, the Joint entered Europe's liberated areas and organized a massive relief operation. It provided food for Jewish survivors all over Europe, it supplied clothing, books and school supplies for children. It supported cultural amenities and brought religious supplies for the Jewish communities. The Joint also operated DP camps, in which it organized retraining programs to help people learn trades that would enable them to earn a living, while its cultural and religious activities helped re- establish Jewish life. The Joint was also closely involved in helping Jews to emigrate from Europe and from Muslim countries. The Joint was expelled from East Central Europe for decades during the Cold War and it has only come back to many of these countries after the fall of communism. Today the Joint provides social welfare programs for elderly Holocaust survivors and encourages Jewish renewal and communal development.

29 Socialist Youth Union (SZM)

A voluntary mass social organization of the youth of former Czechoslovakia. It continued in the revolutionary tradition of children's and youth movements from the time of the bourgeois Czechoslovak Republic and the anti-Fascist national liberation movement, and was a successor to the Czechoslovak Youth Union, which ceased to exist during the time of the societal crisis of 1968. In November 1969 the Federal Council of Children's and Youth Organizations was created, which put together the concept of the SZM. In 1970, with the help of the Czechoslovak Communist Party, individual SZM youth organizations were created, first in Slovakia and later in Czechia, which underwent an overall unification from 9-11th November 1970 at a founding conference in Prague. The Pioneer organization of the Socialist Youth Union formed a relatively independent part of this whole. Its highest organ was the national conference. In 1975 the SZM was awarded the Order of Klement Gottwald for the building of the socialist state. The press organ in Czechia was Mlada Fronta and Smena in Slovakia. The SZM's activities ceased after the year 1989.

30 February 1948

Communist take-over in Czechoslovakia. The 'people's democracy' became one of the Soviet satellites in Eastern Europe. The state apparatus was centralized under the leadership of the Czechoslovak Communist Party (KSC). In the economy private ownership was banned and submitted to central planning. The state took control of the educational system, too. Political opposition and dissident elements were persecuted.

31 Slansky trial

In the years 1948-1949 the Czechoslovak government together with the Soviet Union strongly supported the idea of the founding of a new state, Israel. Despite all efforts, Stalin's politics never found fertile ground in Israel; therefore the Arab states became objects of his interest. In the first place the Communists had to allay suspicions that they had supplied the Jewish state with arms. The Soviet leadership announced that arms shipments to Israel had been arranged by Zionists in Czechoslovakia. The times required that every Jew in Czechoslovakia be automatically considered a Zionist and cosmopolitan. In 1951 on the basis of a show trial, 14 defendants (eleven of them were Jews) with Rudolf Slansky, First Secretary of the Communist Party at the head were convicted. Eleven of the accused got the death penalty; three were sentenced to life imprisonment. The executions were carried out on 3rd December 1952. The Communist Party later finally admitted its mistakes in carrying out the trial and all those sentenced were socially and legally rehabilitated in 1963. 32 Prague Spring: A period of democratic reforms in Czechoslovakia, from January to August 1968. Reformatory politicians were secretly elected to leading functions of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia (KSC). Josef Smrkovsky became president of the National Assembly, and Oldrich Cernik became the Prime Minister. Connected with the reformist efforts was also an important figure on the Czechoslovak political scene, Alexander Dubcek, General Secretary of the KSC Central Committee (UV KSC). In April 1968 the UV KSC adopted the party's Action Program, which was meant to show the new path to socialism. It promised fundamental economic and political reforms. On 21st March 1968, at a meeting of representatives of the USSR, Hungary, Poland, Bulgaria, East Germany and Czechoslovakia in Dresden, Germany, the Czechoslovaks were notified that the course of events in their country was not to the liking of the remaining conference participants, and that they should implement appropriate measures. In July 1968 a meeting in Warsaw took place, where the reformist efforts in Czechoslovakia were designated as "counter-revolutionary." The invasion of the USSR and Warsaw Pact armed forces on the night of 20th August 1968, and the signing of the so-called Moscow Protocol ended the process of democratization, and the Normalization period began.

33 Novotny, Antonin (1904 - 1975)

President of Czechoslovakia from 1957 to 1968. During World War II he participated in the clandestine activities of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia, in 1941 was arrested, and up to 1945 was imprisoned in the Mauthausen concentration camp. On 19th November 1957 he became the president of Czechoslovakia; during the time of his rule a certain easing of conditions and the partial rehabilitation of some that were unjustly convicted during the 1950s took place. Novotny was President up to the so-called crisis of 28th March 1968, when he was forced to abdicate and completely leave political life. 34 Benes, Eduard (1884-1948): Czechoslovak politician and president from 1935-38 and 1946-48. He was a follower of T. G. Masaryk, the first president of Czechoslovakia, and the idea of Czechoslovakism, and later Masaryk's right-hand man. After World War I he represented Czechoslovakia at the Paris Peace Conference. He was Foreign Minister (1918-1935) and Prime Minister (1921-1922) of the new Czechoslovak state and became president after Masaryk retired in 1935. The Czechoslovak alliance with France and the creation of the Little Entente (Czechoslovak, Romanian and Yugoslav alliance against Hungarian revisionism and the restoration of the Habsburgs) were essentially his work. After the dismemberment of Czechoslovakia by the Munich Pact (1938) he resigned and went into exile. Returning to Prague in 1945, he was confirmed in office and was reelected president in 1946. After the communist coup in February 1948 he resigned in June on the grounds of illness, refusing to sign the new constitution.

35 Havel, Vaclav (1936- )

Czech dramatist, poet and politician. Havel was an active figure in the liberalization movement leading to the Prague Spring, and after the Soviet-led intervention in 1968 he became a spokesman of the civil right movement called Charter 77. He was arrested for political reasons in 1977 and 1979. He became President of the Czech and Slovak Republic in 1989 and was President of the Czech Republic after the secession of Slovakia until January 2003.

36 Revolver Revue

The magazine has been published since 1985, up to 1989 under the name Sedesata Revolver Revue as a samizdat. Today's quadriannual Revolver Revue is devoted to literature and art in wider social implications. 37 Karlovy Vary (German name: Karlsbad): The most famous Bohemian spa, named after Bohemian King Charles (Karel) IV, who allegedly found the springs during a hunting expedition in 1358. It was one of the most popular resorts among the royalty and aristocracy in Europe for centuries.

38 Six-Day-War

(Hebrew: Milhemet Sheshet Hayamim), also known as the 1967 Arab-Israeli War, Six Days War, or June War, was fought between Israel and its Arab neighbors Egypt, Jordan, and Syria. It began when Israel launched a preemptive war on its Arab neighbors; by its end Israel controlled the Gaza Strip, the Sinai Peninsula, the West Bank, and the Golan Heights. The results of the war affect the geopolitics of the region to this day.

Zoya Lerman

Zoya Lerman
Kiev
Ukraine
Interviewer: Bronia Borodianskaya

My name is Zoya Naumovna Lerman. I was born in Kiev in 1934. My mother's
name is Maria Arkadievna Lerman (maiden name - Gilik) and my father's name
is Naum Borisovich Lerman. My mother was born in 1913. I have no
information about her place of birth. My father was born in 1910. I have no
information about his place of birth.

My family history 
Growing up 
During the War 
After the War 

My family history

I will begin my story from my father's family. My father lost his parents
at an early age. There were two sisters and five brothers in the family and
my father was the youngest child. Boris Lerman, my father's father, died
and my father's mother disappeared. Yes, she just disappeared. She left and
never came back. Nobody knew what happened to her. David, born in 1902, was
the oldest. Their second son was Michael, born in 1904. Then came Semyon,
born in 1906, and Jacob, born in 1908. My father Naum, born in 1910, was
the youngest. I don't remember their sisters' dates of birth. I never met
my father's sisters and know them only from what my father told me. One of
them was called Rachil and another was Bertha. My father told me that Aunt
Rachil was so beautiful that people couldn't help but stare at her in the
street. On September 29, 1941 Rachil and her 4-year old daughter Zinochka
(also a beauty like her mother) perished in the Babi Yar. Aunt Bertha was
also killed there, but her son Boris, a teenaged boy, escaped execution.
When Germans shot his family he rolled down the slopes of the ravine. They
kept shooting but miraculously the bullets didn't hit him. Later, he
crawled out of this pit clutching at some roots and vegetation. Then he got
out of Babi Yar and left Kiev. In the 1950s my mother and father
corresponded with him. He lived in Kuibyshev then. Once he even sent us a
picture of himself and his two children. But then they somehow lost touch
with my family.

When my father was 13 or 14 years old, the children lost their parents. At
that time David, the older brother, lived in Baku. He had a job as a tailor
and he took my father to live with him. Later, my father went to some trade
school (I don't know exactly what kind of school). All five brothers were
educated, but I can't give you a more detailed description. In the late
1920s all five brothers were living in Kiev and I know more about their
life at this period. They all had families, except Uncle Semyon who lived
his life as a single man.

Uncle David was a tailor. He had a wife (I don't remember her name) and a
daughter named Bronia. Uncle Syoma was in charge of an automatic telephone
station which still exists. Uncle Yasha worked at the radio sound recording
office for many years, for almost his whole life. I can't remember what
Uncle Misha did for a living, but I have wonderful memories of his wife
Margarita Evgenievna and his son Dusik.

During WWII my father and his brothers, except for Uncle David who was
beyond recruitment age, went to the front. I will first tell you about my
father's brothers. Misha and his son Dusik went to the front and perished
there. Dusik was killed during the first days of the war. Margarita
Yevgenievna lost her loved ones and went to work at the military college.
The cadets were about the same age as her son, and she worked there for the
rest of her life.

Uncle Semyon worked at the bridge construction team throughout the war. He
survived and returned to his previous job after he returned from the war.
He died at age 93 in 1999. I took care of him during the last years of his
life. Uncle Yasha also went throughout the war and returned. After
suffering shell-shock he was left with a hearing problem. That is all I
know about my father's family. He never told anything else about their
life.

My mother's parents lived in Ivankov. My grandmother on my mother's side,
Leia (Elizaveta) Abramovna Gilik (maiden name Ofman), lost her mother when
she was still a child. My grandmother was born in the late 1880's in
Ivankov. There were many Jews living in Ivankov. But this was not a Jewish
city. Jews and Russians and Ukrainians got along very well and helped each
other. They were good neighbors. There was a synagogue in Ivankov but I had
never been there.

Late in the first decade of the 1900s, my grandmother married Arkadiy
Gilik. I know very little about my grandfather, only what my grandmother
told me. My grandfather was born in 1886 and died in 1926, long before I
was born. I can remember his face dimly from the photo of him that I saw
once. My grandmother told me that he was great at woodcarving. His carving
decorated cupboards and pieces of furniture, etc. My grandmother described
his patterns in every detail to me. He used to carve pheasants or fruit and
climbing vines on the doors. My grandfather died quite young, when he was
about 40 years old. He may have died from cholera or some other disease.

My grandfather and grandmother were religious people. They went to
synagogue, although I don't know how often. They always celebrated the
Sabbath and traditional Jewish holidays at home.
My grandparents had six children: two sons and four daughters. After my
grandfather died my grandmother had to raise their children alone. I knew
both of the brothers, Uncle Grisha and Uncle Motl, and the sisters,
Evgenia, Faina and Raissa. My grandmother never remarried.

The family moved to Kiev around 1918 when my mother was five years old.
Here's how it happened. The gang of Struk, a leader of one of the many
White Guard gangs in Ukraine, came to Ivankov. And this Struk sent his
bandits to steal my grandmother's cow. But my grandmother had to feed her
children. So, she went to see this Struk and told him to give back her cow.
Struk told her to go home and said that everything would be there. My
grandfather came home and told her the story to her neighbor. He was an
older and more experienced Jewish man. He said Leia, are you out of your
mind? They will come and kill you and your children. He advised the two
older boys to go hide somewhere (I don't remember where) through the woods
and brought a horse and a cart to my grandmother in which to hide her
daughters. She piled some hay and rags on top of them and their neighbor
rode them out of Ivankov. He was a nice man. It's a pity that I don't know
his name. He rescued the whole family. He took them to the station and told
them to try and get to Kiev. And my grandmother took her children to Kiev.
I don't know how she managed. She settled down at 12, Mikhailovskaya
Street, Kiev in an apartment on the ground floor. It was very low and the
windows were not higher than one meter above the ground. We lived our whole
life in that apartment. There was one big room facing the street. There was
another room with no windows and a smaller room with one window facing the
yard. Uncle Motl lived in this room for some time after the war. There was
a long hallway in this apartment with a door to the closet in the middle of
it. The hallway led to the kitchen.

When she was a young girl my grandmother was eager to study. She had no
opportunity to study because her mother died, and as my grandmother was the
oldest of the children, she had to take care of all her brothers and
sisters. She sometimes came near the school. She looked and listened. She
learned Russian when she was 60. She learned to read and write and she
wrote her daughters in Lvov and she also wrote my father and mother. My
grandmother's dream was to provide higher education to her children. She
needed money to implement this dream. So, she began to bake rolls at home
and sold them to earn money. She opened one window, made a sort of a
counter on the windowsill and installed a partial wall in the room. She had
very little space, just a few meters long. From this window, she was sold
the rolls that she baked. Sometimes people came at night to buy her rolls.
They were very delicious. My grandmother also made hamentashen pies
(little triangle pies with poppy seeds), strudels and pies. She managed to
educate her children. I don't know exactly what kind of education their
children got, but it was higher education. My mother completed three years
at the cinematography institute and also took a course in shorthand
writing. She became one of the best and fastest stenographers in Kiev.
I don't know how or where my parents met. They married in 1932
in a civil registration ceremony. They settled in the apartment at
Mikhailovskaya Street. Soon after their wedding, my father was summoned to
serve in the army. I believe he served in Petersburg. My mother went there
on the weekends because she missed him so much. This is what my mother told
me. My father wrote poems and dedicated them to my mother. He also painted
very well when he was young.

My mother became an administrator with the Philharmonic. I don't know where
my father worked before the war. My mother's brothers and sisters all lived
in Kiev, except Raissa. Her sisters were already married. Aunt Fania
(Faina) and her husband lived in Kreschatik. She was a seamstress in a
shop. Aunt Zhenia and her family also lived nearby. Aunt Zhenia, she worked
at the Regional Association of Consumers. Aunt Raissa married a military
man and followed him to Moscow. Several years later, her husband was
promoted to the rank of general. Aunt Raya followed him everywhere, as he
had to move from one location to another. I cannot say anything about my
mother's brothers.

Growing up

I was born in 1934. My first memories are associated with
my grandmother. My parents were at work and my grandmother was bringing me
up. I remember the fairy tales that she told me when I was small. She told
me stories from the Bible, but she told them in a fairy tale manner. I
remember her telling me how people were going across a desert and could not
find shelter. A woman gave them some flour and they got some water to make
flat bread. They put these flat breads on their shoulders to dry in the
sun. This was the food of these people. My grandmother also told me that
these travelers came to a gate that was guarded by two lions. They somehow
put these two lions to sleep and managed to go through the gate. Much later
I learned that this was the story about Pesach (editor's note: we are not
sure where the lions fit into the story of Pesach). My grandmother was a
very wise and a very kind person. She resolved all problems in our family
and my mother and father always listened to her advice.

We had neighbors in our apartment. We made a separate entrance door and
walled up the door that connected our rooms and thus had an apartment of
our own. All our neighbors liked and respected my grandmother. All our
neighbors that had a common yard were like one big family. They were all of
different nationalities but they were so close that in summer they rested
on their camp beds in the yard at night. I can't remember how many Jewish
families there were; I didn't quite pay attention to the nationality.
However, I remember one family: Lidia, the mother, her children and her
grandchildren. Lidia was the same age as my grandmother. Later this family
emigrated to Israel. My grandmother always advised those who addressed her
on various matters. She also helped her neighbors to resolve their
problems. She always knew how to save money; she could give advice on
medical treatment or on the upbringing of children. She was a very wise
woman.

My grandmother always made her own clothes and the clothes for her
daughters and me. Before the war my grandmother took me to the ballet
school at the Opera House. I was in the junior group. She made me beautiful
gauze tutus. The war in 1941 put an end to it all.

I often heard Yiddish at home. When my grandmother and my mother wanted to
be secretive, they spoke Yiddish. My grandmother wore long, dark gowns. She
always wore a shawl. Her favorite was a white silk shawl. She always wore
it when she went to pray. My grandmother knew all the Jewish traditions and
holidays, but she observed them all. She was afraid that somebody would
report her to the authorities and that her family would suffer. There were
always big festive dinners on big holidays. My grandmother was a great
cook. I can't remember whether she cooked only traditional Jewish food, but
I know that her cooking was delicious. She wasn't very religious. She went
to synagogue only on holidays. I can't remember whether she prayed at
home. I don't think she had time for that. She was always busy doing
something. She worked from morning till night on weekdays and on Saturday.
I don't remember her ever taking a rest. She had to earn money to provide
for her family. In those years it was not safe to go to synagogue. Those
were the horrific 1930's in the period of struggle against religion. There
was only one synagogue left of the three hundred that existed in Kiev
before the revolution of 1917. Cult structures were removed; rabbis,
Orthodox and Roman Catholic priests disappeared behind KGB (State security
Committee) walls. My grandmother was afraid of it all. I remember one
night. I was in my lower secondary school then. My grandmother got ready to
leave the house and said that she would be back in the morning. I asked her
where she was going, but she told me that I was not supposed to know. Much
later she started telling me that she went to pray. I asked her to take me
with her, but my grandmother would not agree to take me with her. She
explained to me that I would not understand, and that there was a plain
room where people came to pray, and that there was nothing else in this
room.

My grandmother did all the housekeeping. Our family income was very small
but my grandmother managed to cook many delicacies. I remember her
delicious strudels. She always treated our neighbors to her pies. Of
course, my grandmother made apple-poppy seed pies and strudels with jam for
birthdays.

I remember that our apartment was beautiful before the war. My father liked
beautiful antiques. He decorated a very beautiful Christmas tree when I was
small. It might have been a real Christmas tree, or a pine tree, whatever
was available at the market. The Christmas tree was decorated to celebrate
New Year's Eve. I also had beautiful toys. We had a beautiful screen in our
big room. My little bed was behind it. My father and mother slept on the
sofa. I still have our table that we had before the war.

During the War

I remember the beginning of the Great Patriotic War well. It started at
night. My parents woke me up. I saw my father sitting on the sofa ready to
put on his high boots. I asked him "Papa, where are you going?" but he
smiled and didn't say a word. He only said "You will be taken to the
basement." In the next building the basements were very deep and Uncle
Syoma carried me there. My father had already left. There were many
children and older people in that basement. I also remember that there was
only one small lamp turned on when my father was getting ready. I remember
the air raids and the sound of the airplane engines. Later my grandmother
took us out of Kiev. We left on a truck. It was an open vehicle with a
tarpaulin covering it on the rear. My cousin Arkadiy, Aunt Fania's son, was
standing near the edge of the truck body. We four girls (me and my cousins
Sveta, Stella and Natochka), were sitting in the middle to keep safe. We
didn't have time to pack, so we hardly had any clothes with us. The truck
drove us to a village and then went back. My grandmother put us to bed
under a cart and wrapped us up in something to keep warm. We stayed
overnight there. Then we traveled by railroad on some kind of platforms.
They were loaded with steel slabs all covered in black oil (mazut) and we
sat on those slabs. Then again we slept on the ground somewhere and then
got back on trains. We changed trains five or six times and the trip took
us about a month. My grandmother was taking us to Perm, where her older
daughter Raissa lived. Her husband, a general, was in the service there,
and Aunt Raya sent us a message to get to her place immediately.

In Perm we settled down in the clay barracks. It was very long. I think
there were about ten doors on one side of the barracks and about the same
number on another. At the very end there was a little room and we children
stayed there.

Raya and her husband had a small apartment. Aunt Fania and her children,
Natochka and Arkadiy, lived with her. Aunt Fania made men's underwear for
the front. She was spending day and night at the sewing machine. Aunt
Fania's husband was executed in Kiev by the Germans at the very beginning
of the war.

My mother worked as a stenographer through all these years and she had
contacts with Moscow for some reason. But she told me about it many years
after the war. We rarely saw her. My grandmother did all housekeeping
chores and looked after the children.

It was 30 degrees below zero in Perm. My cousin Svetochka's hands became
frostbitten. My own hands and my feet were so frostbitten that I did not
feel any pain when my grandmother and my neighbors pricked them with pins.
We were so miserably dressed. I remember the snow was knee deep. It was
cold in the barracks, less cold than outside, but still very cold.

There was not enough food. Once a local woman gave us a carton full of
peas. But these peas were so old that my grandmother had to beat them with
a hammer and soak them in water for a long time before she could cook them.
Those peas lasted for some time. Later, when my mother went to work she
received one pound of sugar that she had to divide between all of us. My
cousins were the first to eat a lump of sugar, each sipping their boiling
water. And I put my little bit into the cup and sat there waiting. They all
pushed me, telling me to sip because it would melt! My grandmother also
got potato and beet peels, ground them up and made something like pancakes.
In spring we also picked up ashberries.

All the tenants of the barracks supported each other. They all had to share
one common kitchen, but there were no conflicts.

All of us lived in one room. Planks were put between two iron beds and my
grandmother covered them with whatever she had for us to sleep on
overnight.

There were also things to enjoy. I remember an opera theater
during the evacuation in Perm. There was a wonderful ballet group; there
were world-reknowned ballerinas Ulanova and Palladina. Our friend's mother
worked in this theater. She took us backstage from where we watched all the
ballet performances.

I also remember that our grandmother took us girls--only Stella
didn't go--to a music teacher. We were auditioned and the teacher told me
and little Alla to stay. I don't remember the teacher's name or her
nationality. My grandmother took me to music classes for quite a while. I
had classes every night. Sometimes when I had a class later at night I
felt sleepy but I still enjoyed playing music.

Now I will tell you about my father. At the beginning of the war my mother
received a notification stating that my father was missing. My mother tore
up this paper and said, He is alive! I don't believe this! He is alive! And
she was right, he returned after all.

Here is what happened. In case of war, my father had to report to a
certain office, which he did. There he received false documents bearing a
typical Russian name--Nikolai Vassilievich Svistun. He was sent to a
partisan unit. I can't remember all details. Well, at first he was in this
partisan unit. Later, he was sent to the town of Chipovichi. My father was
to support communications between two partisan units in the woods on both
sides of Chipovichi. My father had to think of a profession he could
perform when visited by the high-ranking German military, so my father
became a barber. He lived with a family of Baptists in Chipovichi. There
was a father and two sons in this family. But since they were Baptists,
they did not have to serve in the army. A local Komsomol member reported to
the Gestapo that my father was a partisan and a Jew. I don't know how he
found out. Perhaps he knew my father before the war, or maybe somebody who
worked with my father told him. This informer was a Komsomol member, so
nobody suspected that he was working for the Germans and that he was a
traitor. The Gestapo captured my father and tortured him. The members of
the Baptist family my father had been living with came to the Gestapo every
day to demand that they release my father. The mother of the family brought
food to him every day. The Gestapo military threatened to shoot her and her
sons, but she answered that they wouldn't do anything to them or to my
father. And then the Germans let my father go. But they told him that if
they caught him again they would shoot him. After the war these Baptists
often visited us.

My father was on the edge of death again when the Germans
wanted to check on whether he was a Jew. My father was circumcised
according to the tradition, and an inspection would probably have resulted
in my father's execution or his being sent to a concentration camp. But the
doctor who worked in Chipovichi took my father to the barracks for typhoid
patients, which the Germans wouldn't enter. She saved his life. Her name
was Nina but I don't know her last name. She also visited us after the war.
She was a slim middle-aged woman.

People saved my father's life many times. Once, a policeman came and told
my father that at three o'clock the Germans would come to arrest him. My
father didn't know whether this was true or just a provocation so that they
could follow him to his hiding place, and so he was afraid to go to the
partisans in the woods. Instead, he stayed put and the Germans captured him
and took him to a place of execution. They shot my father and a whole group
of other people. My father lay under the bodies of the dead. He was only
slightly wounded, but was covered in the blood of the others who were
murdered. Later, my father crawled out of the pit. Another time, he was
again captured and was about to be shot. It was afternoon. There was bright
sunshine. There were two military escorts, and four people who were to be
killed. My father and the three others were taken to a sandy spot. The
military escorts gave them spades and told them to dig their own graves.
While they were digging, the oldest of the intended victims told the others
to throw sand into their guards' eyes and run. The moment the escort sat
down for a cigarette break, they threw sand into their eyes and ran away,
all in different directions. My father told me that he didn't know if the
rest of the escapees survived. He was running and bullets were whistling
around him. He ran for a long time and then fell, exhausted, into a pit. He
woke up in the morning and didn't know where to go. He returned to the
partisans in the woods and stayed with them until November 1943, until the
end of occupation. He didn't work as a barber in that town any more.

My mother always believed that my father was alive, and she told all his
friends that he was still living. In 1943 Semyon, my father's brother who
worked in a bridge construction team, somehow learned that my father was
alive. He wrote to us in Perm about it. We received a card from him. He
wrote in small letters, but in the middle of it he wrote "Nyuma lives!" in
big letters. I was just learning to read and read these two words to my
Grandma. My grandmother clasped her hands and ran into the corridor. She
knocked on our neighbors' doors shouting "Nyuma is alive! Nyuma is alive!"
When my mother came home from work my grandmother declared, "You know,
Manechka, Nyuma is alive!" and my mother replied "Yes, I knew that he was
alive." In 1944 we received letters from my father and looked forward to
his coming back. He demobilized from the army in 1946 and returned home. My
father worked as a barber after the war. He worked at the central barber's
shop.

After the War

At the beginning of 1944 my grandmother took us all to Kiev. Aunt Raissa
and her husband stayed in Perm and later they moved to Moscow. I would like
to tell you about my cousins who were in the evacuation with me. They were
very dear to me. Stella (maiden name Feldman), the daughter of my mother's
sister Evgenia, was educated at the Institute of Literature. She married a
Russian doctor named Victor Averin. Victor worked at the maternity home.
Although it was an ordinary district hospital, all high officials brought
their wives to Victor. He worked so hard day and night, that it resulted in
the severe disease of his legs. He couldn't work any more, and he was in
despair. Stella decided to take him to America. Victor lived for two more
years and then died. He didn't reach the age of 60. Their son Peter lives
and works in the USA.

Natochka Miliavskaya (married name - Roiter), the daughter of my mother's
sister Faina, lived in Kiev almost all her life. She worked as Chief of a
shop at the knitwear factory. Her son, Boris Krasnov, a theatrical artist,
moved to Moscow. He is popular in Russia and abroad. He works for the most
famous performers. He often gets job offers from foreign companies.
Natochka and her husband moved to join their son in Moscow. She sometimes
visits us in Kiev.

Svetlana Feldman, Evgenia's daughter, studied at the mathematics and
Physics Department of Kiev University. She was married and worked as a
teacher of Physics and mathematics at school. Her son married, and his
wife's family decided to move to Israel. Svetochka didn't want to go but
she was afraid to remain here alone. So, she left, with her son's family in
the 1970's to live in Israel. Later, they moved to the USA, but we never
heard from then after that. I have no information about what they did for a
living there, or how they lived.

Allochka Lev (married name - Uhlina), Raissa's daughter, lived in Moscow.
She learned Italian, French and German languages. She works as
translator/interpreter.

I don't remember any details of our return from evacuation. We returned to
our former apartment in Mikhailovskaya Street. We were lucky that it was
not occupied. Although it was almost empty, there was only one chair left.
My father was offered another apartment but he said he preferred to live in
his old apartment. We often had our parents' acquaintances staying with us
when they returned and found their houses in ruins. They slept on the
floor, it was as simple as that. After we returned to Kiev my mother was
offered the position of stenographer at the Ministry of Culture.

In 1944 I went to school. I was admitted to the 3rd grade. It was a Russian
school for boys and girls. We had a wonderful teacher, a very intelligent
person. I studied only two years at this school. There were quite a few
Jewish children at this school. There was no anti-Semitism at school. We
didn't have a bell at school. There was a rail and they banged on it when
the lesson was over. Our teacher, Anna Romanovna, always let me go some
time before the end of the class, and I went and banged on this rail. Later
Anna Romanovna paid attention to my drawings. I was in the 4th grade when
she asked me to help senior students to make a wall newspaper. I was to
help them draw Lenin. The senior children brought me a book with a
portrait of Lenin and I made a rather big portrait of him for their
newspaper. I also paint pictures for Anna Romanovna for her classes. She
told me that I had to go to Kiev Art School. My mother and I went to this
school. Its deputy Director looked through my pictures and I was admitted
at this school.

There were up to 10 children in a class at the art school. Of course, my
favorite subject was drawing. But I was fond of other subjects too. Our
French teacher, Louise Edmond, came from France. She always had her hair
done so beautifully. My French was good and I was all right in mathematics.

I became a pioneer and then a Komsomol member at the art school. But we
were not required to be involved in any political activities; we didn't
even have a political information class. Creativity was of the utmost
significance at this school, and the main evaluation criteria were based on
talent and humanity. Therefore my pioneer and Komsomol years passed by
almost unnoticed. Children from other Ukrainian towns studied at the art
school. I can't remember whether there were Jewish children at this school.
We took no notice whatsoever of our nationality; that is why I can't
remember. I met my best friends at this school. One is Ukrainian and
another is Russian. We still see each other every now and then.

I have very dim memories of the period of persecution of the
cosmopolites in 1953. There were no discussions or any meetings at school
related to this subject. My parents didn't have any discussions of this
subject at home either, at least in my presence. But I remember the
"doctors' case." My parents talked about it at home. Of course, nobody in
our family believed that these doctors were guilty. I think Stalin's death
saved many lives. We didn't have any meetings at school when Stalin died.
The only thing I remember was a crepe flag on our building. Then I heard
that Stalin died. None of us felt any sorrow or grief in this regard.

My parents and my grandmother were happy to hear that Israel was
established in 1948. My father often told me about the people who put so
much effort into turning a desert into a blooming oasis. We admired them.
But we never considered emigration to that country.

My father could draw, and he was happy that I studied at the art school. He
began a collection of books on art. He was saving money to buy these books.
When he had a day off he always went to bookstores to get a couple of
books. We all loved to read. He would always bring me an interesting book,
and later, he would always have one for my husband as well. This collection
of books that I have is my father's. My mother always, when I was pupil,
had to tell me to go to bed in the evening, but I still waited up until
everybody else went to sleep to continue my reading.

My grandmother always helped me with my studies at art school. I had to
draw many portraits, and my grandmother never refused to pose for me.

My grandmother didn't go to synagogue after the war. She could hardly walk
so far. I don't remember her praying at home. My grandmother died in
October 1960. It was a big tragedy for me. My grandmother had been with me
since I was a baby. It was very hard for me to learn to live my life
without her.

After finishing school in 1953, I wanted to continue my studies in Riga,
but my mother convinced me to enter an art institute in Kiev. I had no
trouble passing my entrance exams. Sergei Alexeevich Grigoriev, director of
the Institute, often came by our school. He knew me and selected me and
three other pupils to become students at his institute. Then came the day
when they posted the lists of students that were admitted, but my name was
not there. About a week after that, Sergei Alexeevich called me and asked
me to come immediately. I replied that I wouldn't come, because my name
was not on the list. Sergei Alexeevich called me several times and sent
messengers to me, but I still didn't go. Then he sent two of my close
friends to drag me there if necessary. I went there and he explained that
he had to admit two students and that this was the only way for them to get
in. He also told me that he had submitted a request to Moscow authorities
to approve my admission as an additional student. Their approval was issued
in a week's time after our meeting, but I was so hurt that I didn't attend
classes for another month.

I met my husband Yuriy Lutskevich at school. He came from Kirovograd where
his family lived. I don't remember who his father was, but his mother was a
pianist at the town Philharmonic. He had an older sister named Nina. Yuriy
and I are the same age, both were born in 1934. Yuriy is not a Jew, but
this was of no significance.

In Kirovograd, Yura was acquainted with an artist who became his teacher,
and later gave him some money to go to study in Kiev. Yura came to the 10th
grade in our school. We met and got married when we were 3rd year students
at the Institute. We often went to concerts together. We both loved
symphonic music. Also, Yura was very fond of fishing. He took a boat and
sailed far away to a lake because there were few lakes in the vicinity. I used to
meet him when he was coming back home. Once, I remember, he brought back a
backpack full of big pikes. He shared them with his friends and our
neighbors.

I was a graduate when our son Alexandr was born. There was too little space
in our apartment for all of us. I was assigned to work at school and I
received a one-room apartment from this school. Yura also worked. I was
raising our son and kept working. We worked at school at first and then at
the Art Institute. But soon we quit teaching, as we both took to creative
work. The authorities provided us with an art shop and my son spent a lot
of his time there when he grew older. Of course, he took to drawing as
well. He graduated from the Art school in Kiev and then studied at the Art
Institute. He had several exhibitions. He worked in Denmark and then,
recently, in London. He painted landscapes and portraits. He often goes on
tours. Alexandr speaks fluent English and a little bit of Danish and
German.  My son is married to a Jew, and they have a son named
Zhenechka who goes to primary school. He is 8 years old. He doesn't want to
draw yet. He liked to draw when he was younger, and we have kept some of
his paintings from that time.

My parents continued working until they were very old. My father was a
barber and my mother was a stenographer. My mother had many students and
they have very warm memories of her. My father died in 1982 and my mother
died in 1983.

In 2001 my husband died. It was a tragedy for me. I haven't recovered from
it yet.

I knew about anti-Semitism in the Soviet Union, but I never faced
any. All the people I knew treated me nicely. Perhaps, because the people
in my surroundings consisted of educated and intelligent people, artists
and sculptors etc.

I am still working. I have exhibitions. Many of my pictures have been sold
abroad. Some of them I gave away as presents. I recently got an offer to
work in Germany and then organize an exhibition of my pictures there. I
lived there for over two months. I had some of my works with me, and I
painted while I lived there. The exhibition was held at the palace where
one of the Russian tsars once resided. It was beautiful. Sometimes I go to
the house of artists in the outskirts of Moscow where I work for 2 or 3
months of the year. I have many friends there. My work is very important
for me. I haven't traveled much. I've only been in Poland and France, but I
hope I will have an opportunity to visit other countries.

But now I find time to study Jewish history and religion, as well as Jewish
traditions. I get more and more interested in these studies. I visited
Israel recently. I liked it there very much. But one can live a life and be
creative only where one was born. Many things are possible now thanks to
Hesed and the Jewish Community Center. I used to go there with my friend,
but her physical condition is worse and she cannot do it any more. I attend
lectures and meetings. I have new friends and we often celebrate Jewish
holidays. I read Jewish newspapers and magazines. There are so many
interesting things around. I feel that by gaining all this knowledge I'm
getting closer to my grandmother. She was the first to open this striking
world to me.
 

Apolonia Starzec

Apolonia Starzec
Warsaw
Poland
Interviewer: Marta Cobel-Tokarska
Date of interview: June 2006

Mrs. Starzec lives alone in downtown Warsaw. She is friendly, talkative and charming, although at times our conversation wasn't easy. My interlocutor doesn't feel attached to Jewry, perceives her pre-war family as assimilated, though her story reveals a somewhat different picture. Some subjects proved impossible to discuss at all, and sometimes Mrs. Starzec made the impression of deliberately avoiding certain questions. Despite that, the many disconnected and incomplete strands wove themselves into an interesting story.

My family history
Growing up
During the war
After the war

My family history

Here's my, let's call it, résumé. We lived in Radomsko [town in central Poland, some 150 km south-west of Warsaw]. It was my father's patrimony. My sister's name was Irena... I mean, she had a different name once. She changed her name to Irena during the war and it stayed that way. Before the war her name was Ruta. She was Ruta and I was Pola [short for Apolonia]. We were the only children. In terms of looks, I was more like my father, he was dark, and my mother was a blue-eyed light blond, typical Aryan, as they say. My sister had her looks. My childhood was good, indeed. Cheerful, without inferiority complexes of any kind; I had no idea of anti-Semitism whatsoever. The material conditions were good, at least until the crisis [Great Depression] 1.

My father's name was Mordchaj Dawid Bugajski. He had four brothers and three sisters. One of the brothers was called Salomon. They lived in Lodz, and then [during WWII] they moved in with us [in Radomsko]. The second brother was called Juda, the third one was my father, and the fourth one was Jakub. My father's sisters adopted their husbands' surnames. One had the married name of Lorie; she was a kind of liberated woman, and the other sister had the married name of Hercberg.

My father ran a large family business called Bracia Bugajscy [Bugajski Brothers]. They traded in flour, sugar, salt, things like that. I remember they leased a siding at the train station. I visited the place as a child and saw the wares being unloaded. There was also a wholesale store in the market square. Also a road-building business, and something else, I don't know what. In any case, they didn't make it. The whole thing went bust when the Great Depression came. My father's brother, Juda, committed suicide. He had a large family, a large house, and he was the head of all that business. His children were all grown up; he was much older than my father.

Was my father's family traditional? Yes. They spoke Yiddish. But neither did we visit them nor did they visit us. We didn't keep in touch. I felt more attached to my mother's family. I think they [my father's family] were all murdered in Radomsko. There is a cemetery there, a monument.

The most important person in our home was my mother, whom we loved very much, because she was a friend rather than a parent. She agreed to many things, but also required many things from us. She brought us up well. Her maiden name was Zelinger, Zofia Zelinger. She had an inferiority complex, she was obese; before getting married she strove for her parents to send her to Marienbad 2. They did send her there, but I don't know whether it helped anything. She was very beautiful, a typical Aryan. She was 16 when they married her: to a man from Radomsko. And so she married a Bugajski. How did she meet him? I don't know whether matchmaking was involved, I can't remember those things. She was less than 17 years old when she gave birth to me. And she died young, also [in 1940]. I was the first child, born 1st October 1914; they got married on New Year's Eve... I even had her ring, with the dates engraved.

My mother also came from a large family. And, unlike the Bugajski family, it was an assimilated one. I kept in touch with my mother's family. My mother comes from Sosnowiec [city in Silesia region in southern Poland, some 300 km south of Warsaw]. My grandmother - they say I had her looks. Zelinger. I don't remember her first name. I have a very vague recollection of her. I know they lived in their own house, a large one, because there were nine of them. Grandmother died when I was little. Did she wear a wig? I think so. That was the custom then. And my grandfather I don't remember at all.

In the house in Sosnowiec my [maternal] grandparents lived on the second floor. Lubomirski Park and the river Przemsza were nearby. The address was 2 Ludwiki Street. There were two balconies; you could spend Sukkot there, under the roof. There were quite a lot of rooms, and in the living room stood toys for us. I liked to go there because my grandparents really doted on me. Katowice was not far away, it wasn't part of Poland yet [Katowice was incorporated into Poland only in 1922]. I remember them taking me there [to Katowice], buying me nice clothes. Sosnowiec was poor, and Katowice was different, German style; I returned all elegant.

I don't remember all uncles and aunts. Zygmunt, my mother's youngest brother, lived in France. I remember him coming to our town before the war. When in Poland, he visited us very often. I was in my last year of gymnasium [eighth grade] when he took me to Warsaw for a sightseeing tour. I was 16, just a teenager. I didn't like to dress up, I liked my school uniform. He showed me everything there was to see in Warsaw. I remember me passing through all those revolving doors. Everything was amazing. He showed me the cabaret, the Qui Pro Quo [famous Warsaw cabaret, operating from 1919-1931] and the Morskie Oko [cabaret, operating from 1929-1933]. And if that weren't enough, he took me to an ordinary revue. I'm sitting at the table, dim lights, a dance floor. I was very embarrassed; he had to go to the toilet, left me alone. A young man comes up to me and asks me to dance. And I was so frightened. 'I'm not dancing, I can't!' and I yelled at Uncle for bringing me there. That was my first encounter with Warsaw.

Uncle Zygmunt was very handsome. He was a man who enjoyed life. Elegant and handsome, he long persisted in bachelorhood. His first wife was Aunt Yvonne, as we called her. She left her husband to be with him. She wasn't Jewish. She kept him in hiding somewhere with her relatives in the [French] countryside. She worked as an editor. Uncle Zygmunt came to Poland once, quite accidentally at the very time when I was giving birth to my elder son. It was 1947; they were taking me from the delivery room to the maternity ward. I look, here comes my husband with some gentleman. The first visitor I had after delivery. He died of a heart attack, in 1971. At the table in his bridge club. Had himself cremated. His ashes rest at the Père-Lachaise cemetery [French: Cimetière du Père-Lachaise, Paris's largest and most famous cemetery].

My mother had a sister named Sala. She married a certain Sandomierski, also from Radomsko. Her other sister, Cesia, lived in Bedzin [town in Silesia, near Katowice and Sosnowiec]. She married some Hasid 3, named Zeligier, a similar name. They had a son Zygmunt, he came to us for the summer holidays, and I also spent my vacations there sometimes. There, in Bedzin, I saw the Jewish ghetto [quarter] for the first time. My aunt wore a wig, her husband a beard. Zygmunt had been through the cheder. It was a very religious Jewish family, very different than ours. The boy felt a bit like a bird in a cage. I remember he liked to come to us because at least he could taste some freedom. And get a taste of a different world. And I went there because, you know, it was right to visit Auntie from time to time. Zygmunt had a sister, her name was Pola, too, I think. He was the eldest grandson, I was the eldest granddaughter. We were roughly of the same age. He craved for all that he lacked, the contact with Polish culture, and I ran away from the culture he was raised in. Everything irritated me there.

There was also Uncle Bernard. He was very handsome, blond, like all of them, one of the eldest sons, the most intelligent one. He married Zosia [diminutive for Zofia] from Lodz, a beautiful girl. They eventually took over the [grandparents'] house in Sosnowiec. The other brothers and sisters moved out elsewhere. And reportedly they were taken from that house [by the Germans during the war]. They were a very loving couple. I actually attended their wedding in Lodz. My mother sewed special dresses for us. It was a wedding under the chuppah. And they had two sons: Mietek [from Mieczyslaw] and Henio [from Henryk]. Mietek was born with a harelip. And he was so terribly mean. His younger brother was such a cherub, talented, cheerful, joyful... and then he with the harelip.

Growing up

I was born and raised in Sosnowiec under my grandmother's supervision, because my mother was emotionally very strongly attached to her family home. I spent more time in Sosnowiec each year than at our home. The other grandchildren came, too, had their toys there, I had a beautiful talking doll, Zygmunt Zeligier had a rocking horse in the living room... He was the eldest of all the cousins; he died recently. He had a wife named Adela and a boy. They lived in the States, in Washington, DC.

Now let me tell you about my town. Our street in Radomsko was originally called Strzalkowska. It led to a village called Strzalkow, but later it was renamed to Legionow. The house we lived in was very large. It was owned by some Jew. From the World War I period I remember those massive samovars standing in the large courtyard. There was no sewage system, a waterman supplied water. Later a sewage system was installed. The house was very big. One wing was occupied by an elementary school, and above it were apartments. And in our wing the whole second floor was occupied by a private gymnasium that I later attended.

We lived on the third floor, in a suite of four connecting rooms. From my balcony I could see a mill in the distance, rye fields where we played truant. I was very angry [to be living so close to school] because if I did anything bad, they would immediately send me home to bring my mother for a warning talk. And I envied those who lived farther away. The house is still there. When I came after the war to see how things were, it had already been turned into a hospital.

The town had 30,000 inhabitants. It was surrounded by predominantly German settlements. There was little industry. If anything, it was foreign-owned, the metal industry, for instance, was Belgian. Besides that, there were some private-owned steel mills.

There was also the Witte Wunsche factory. [Ksawery Wunsche i S-ka: a furniture manufacturer, founded in Radomsko in the early 20th century, operated until the end of WWII. Nationalized in 1945, operated afterwards as an independent enterprise under the name of Fabryka Mebli Gietych Nr 2 (formerly Wunsche).] Wunsche's son was my friend and peer. He went to the boys' gymnasium. It was a public school. He was a bit my elder, went to the parallel grade, the so-called German school. But we were members of the same youth organization, MOPR 4. He was also a factory owner's child. During the war, he did a lot for Jews. His father was a Volksdeutscher 5 or a Reichsdeutscher. The young Wunsche also helped the organization, which had a left-wing profile, during the war. He married a Jewish girl. A beautiful girl, he fell in love with her even as a student. And they live abroad.

Politically, the town was under the sway of the PPS 6. All those [left- wing] organizations ruled supreme, and even in the town council the PPS had a majority. The fire brigade was the town's most important organization. On the national holidays, 3rd May or 11th November, we marched in our school uniforms and sang songs. There was this square, called the 'calf pen', young people had dates there [Editor's note: A meeting point for young people, called that because young boys and girls stared at each other 'like calves' - a Polish expression]. And there was the market square. In the market square stood a beautiful old church and next to it the town hall.

The pre-war Radomsko has been very beautifully described by my schoolmate Lola Szlamkiewicz [actually Lea], married name Grebler; she's dead now. She was in Russia when the war broke out, not, like myself, in a ghetto [in Warsaw]. She survived, and I have all those school photos from her. There [in Russia] she met her husband, Grebler, who came from Stanislawow [town in south-eastern Poland, today Ivano-Frankivsk in western Ukraine, some 500 km south-east of Warsaw]. And she became his wife. She lived a beautiful life at her beloved husband's side. I have her book about the Jewish community [of Radomsko], a community I had few affiliations with. [Szlamkiewicz-Grebler Lea (1991): Ryby z nieba. Przedswiateczny cud. Opowiadania i humoreski z zycia Zydow w malych miasteczkach w Polsce w latach 1925-1938. (Fishes from Heaven: The Holiday Miracle. Stories and Humoresques about Jewish Life in Small Towns in Poland 1925-1938), Haifa]

Lola came from a very poor family. My elder, she completed an elementary school. She taught herself. She was an orphan and she was brought up by her elder sister, whose husband was a shoemaker. They lived at the market square, and on warm days the shoemaker would work in front of the shop. They lived in terrible poverty; there was a lot of Jewish poverty around. She left town and went to Warsaw to study biology, which she completed. Later, when the war broke out, we lost contact whatsoever.

After the war we looked for each other. I no longer remember the details, but, in the end, we [Mrs. Starzec and her husband] brought her from Stanislawow to Warsaw. We secured an apartment for her, and even a job. But they didn't want to stay in Poland. Even though they had good conditions here. They immigrated to Israel. Their children were born there, two wonderful children. I'm in touch with the daughter, her name is Ania. She lives in the United States. The parents were already of age, needed care; they brought them to the States to live with them. They both had cancer.

There was a movie theater, the town's only one, alongside it a park, where dancing parties and all kinds of events were held. There were also balls at the town hall; I didn't go because I was too young, but my cousin, who worked as an accountant for us, went, and so did my mother. In the cinema they screened silent films, but there was a band downstairs, like in a philharmonic, providing wonderful musical illustration to the movies. There were the stalls and the balcony, and that was a great thing. Those movies we were allowed to see we did go to see. The first sound movie I saw was in Czestochowa [a city close to Radomsko], with Al Jolson, a black singer [Editor's note: a white actor wearing blackface]. I remember he sang beautifully. [Al Jolson, real name Asa Yoelson, (1886-1950): American singer and movie actor. Played in the first full-length sound movie, the 1927 Jazz Singer, dir. Alan Crosland, a sentimental story about the son of a synagogue cantor who against his father's will, becomes a jazz singer.] Mother took us under her arm, me and my sister, and we went to Czestochowa. It was 50 kilometers, you went by train. I was proud because express trains stopped in Radomsko! They don't these days.

The market day in Radomsko was Thursday. The farmers brought their produce, the prices were low. It was the so called 'price scissors' period: farm produce was very cheap whereas industrial goods were very expensive. During the Great Depression, peasants would split a match into two to save. Matches were expensive; there was a [state] monopoly. Salt, sugar, were expensive. And an egg cost very little, a few pennies. You couldn't buy a box of matches for one egg. You had to sell many eggs or a lot of butter or cheese to buy salt, for instance.

There were many stores and cake shops in Radomsko. There was a cake shop where they sold good cream cakes. Or chocolates. There were stores with plenty of food products to choose from. They were cheap. The stores offered all kinds of exotic fruit. I remember a holiday when you eat a lot of dried fruit, New Year or something. [The interviewee probably means Purim]. You bought pineapple and dates - fruit that in People's Poland 7 were impossible to buy for a long, long time. Stores selling dried fruit and exotic fruit. The domestic ones you didn't buy at the market, of course, but went to an orchard and bought directly from the tree or shrub [i.e. from the farmer]. There was a hospital on our street; the director was Doctor Stanislawski. His wife had a beautiful garden; we went there to buy strawberries.

We didn't go to the market for shopping but had it brought to us by [a woman] from the countryside, from Kobiele [village near Radomsko]. She became friends with my mother, and one day she says, 'I'd like you to hire my daughter.' Jania was 16 when she came to us. To apprentice as a housekeeper, in the kitchen. She was a maid, a 'servant,' you called it those days. Janina Koper. She stayed with us until the war. She came from Kobiele Wielkie, the home town [rather village] of the writer Reymont, and she was a very good student [Reymont, Wladyslaw Stanislaw (1868-1925): Polish author, best known for his novel 'Chlopi' (The Peasants), awarded the Nobel Prize for literature in 1924]. She was our friend. I had already flown out of home and she stayed with my parents until the war.

A washerwoman came to do the washing. The whole thing lasted for three days, and then you hung the laundry in the attic to dry. Then an ironing lady came, so, put shortly, it was a major operation, the big washing every two months. And then everything had to be starched, it was all cotton, no artificial fabrics, those were unknown.

I didn't know hunger but rather affluence. Well brought-up, learning to play the piano. At first, [my parents] insisted on me playing the violin. It didn't work too well, so I switched to the piano. A pharmacist's wife lived next to us. My sister and I went to her for lessons. We were both brought up as girls from a good home.

The first radio I remember was when I was in the final year of gymnasium. It was a large apparatus, with massive batteries at the back, you listened through headphones. There were lectures for final-year students. Friends would come to me, girls and boys, and we would listen. I know that at the time, I was 16, we were one of the first to have a radio.

What can I say about religion? We observed the holidays for the sake of my father's parents. They lived on the same street. People talked that we didn't observe the kashrut... and my father never ignored what his parents said. I knew them as very, very old people. They didn't visit us often. I remember the food aspect of the holidays. On Purim, my mother would bake beautiful things... My father observed the food regulations, taught us certain things. That is, for instance, you eat only matzah during the holidays. I remember how a friend tempted me to eat a piece of bread on Easter, and my father saw it. It was the first and only time that he gave me a spanking for publicly disobeying [his orders].

For Pesach, my father recited something, and I, as the eldest child, in the absence of a boy, asked him the questions [the mah nishtanah]. He answered me, and so on. I was little, I barely remember those things. I remember the Easter table, covered with horseradish roots [maror]. But, at the same time, there was ham. When I visited a [Christian] friend of mine, I saw the Christmas tree and found I liked it very much. And so there was also a tree at [our] home. But it stood in the last room, ours, in the mezzanine behind the door, hidden in case someone paid us a visit.

My father felt attracted to Jewishness. He read a lot. And he spoke Yiddish. Yiddish, or Hebrew, I don't know. And my mother - not at all, she was completely liberated, and it was her who ran the house, which is why I never learned many of the things [connected with the Jewish religion and tradition]. If my father went to the synagogue, it was on Judgment Day. My mother - never! And he fasted. My mother did not, nor did we. My birth certificate stated my religion as Jewish but my nationality as Polish. That's how I identified myself, that how I was brought up, in Polishness. I didn't know the [Jewish] language because we didn't speak Yiddish at home.

We had this favorite holiday place called Kamiensk, near Radomsko, where we regularly spent the summer holidays. And one Friday I was cycling back from there to Radomsko, it wasn't far, ten kilometers. I'm passing the synagogue and I see small boys starting to throw stones at me, that I'm offending their feelings. And I didn't realize, didn't know it was forbidden to cycle on Friday night. I don't remember my mother lighting the candles, ever.

I went to kindergarten in Radomsko. And then I went to gymnasium. I was always the youngest in the class. I never went to elementary school. There were several gymnasia in our town. Two for boys, one for girls, and the coeducational private one, ran by Mrs. Weintraub. Ludwika Weintraub came from Piotrkow [Piotrkow Trybunalski, town some 120 km south-west of Warsaw], I think. She was the school's owner and headmaster, a Jewess. Mrs. Mittleman, our craft and design teacher, a doctor's wife, mother of two daughters. A wonderful woman, she taught us many things, the useful ones. A professor named Brumberg. He taught biology, if I'm not mistaken. And Mrs. Palusikowa. I think she taught us math. There were also religion classes, in Polish.

Of my schoolmates I remember, for instance, Blumsztajn senior, Sewek's father [Sewek - short for Seweryn; Seweryn Blumsztajn, one of the founders of the underground KOR Workers Defence Committee, since 1989 editor at the 'Gazeta Wyborcza' daily]. We lived in the same house, us on the floor above them, and we completed the gymnasium together. Other schoolmates: Sznajder, a very talented boy, Plawner, he reportedly survived in the Czestochowa ghetto 8. When we grew up a bit, we became involved in other matters, not only our private ones. Community work. Some were Zionists, members of the so-called Shomr [see Hashomer Hatzair in Poland] 9. Brumberg was the leader of the Hashomer Hatzair guys. I didn't belong anywhere because I wasn't interested in the Jewish movement.

When the time came to take the school-leaving exams, I, being the youngest in the class, had to write to the board of education to be entered. The exam was very difficult. A humanistic-profile gymnasium, with Latin, with German. And I went to Cracow to study. I studied in the years 1930-1934. I studied chemistry. I originally wanted medicine but I didn't get in. The numerus nullus had already been introduced [see Numerus clausus in Poland] 10. Only doctors' children could take some kind of competition exam. Well, I had no chance of passing that, of course. So I took chemistry because in the first year the subjects were the same as in medicine, and I thought I'd eventually move. But I didn't. I stayed, studying the so-called physical university-level chemistry. I enjoyed the life in Cracow and I endured until the third year.

The chemistry department educated future school teachers. The industry was very underdeveloped; there were virtually no chemical plants, only the Moscicki factory [Moscicki, Ignacy (1867-1945): president of Poland from 1926-1939, chemist, founder of the State Nitrogen Compound Plant in Tarnow]. Many students studied forever, the so-called 'iron' ones; there was no requirement to complete your studies within any specific time. You could prolong forever. Unemployment was rampant, so students preferred to stay in the university for as long as possible, enjoy the reduced public transit fares, other discounts. School teachers weren't paid well either. In public schools they were paid better, but in private ones - poorly.

I tasted those big cities like the bumpkin I was. The studies were free of charge, we paid only the lodgings. I rented a room together with two other girls. There was antagonism between the [former] Congress Kingdom 11 and Malopolska [see Galicia] 12. The latter believed people from Congress Kingdom to be slobs, and we often had conversations like: 'Where you from? 'From there and there.' 'Oh, we can't rent to you because you're slobs.' And the place was dirtier than anything I had ever seen...

On the same street, Dunajewskiego, the PPS had its office. I remember a wonderful PPS rally and a fantastic speech delivered by Drobner [Boleslaw Drobner (1883-1968): socialist activist, Member of Parliament in communist Poland]. A face emanating with spirituality, dark hair, dressed in a Mao style uniform [Mao Zedong (1893-1976): Chinese communist leader, first president of the PRC, wore a characteristic uniform imitated by leftwing activists all over the world]. And when he spoke, it was very convincing. That was my first demonstration, May Day.

I experienced the bench ghetto 13. That was what attracted me to the socialist movement. Young people had strongly leftist views then. At university [Jagiellonian University] 14, there was an organization called Zycie Akademickie 15, and a socialist organization, the ZNMS 16. We had discussion meetings, because, apart from your own courses, you attended all other interesting lectures. The fellow students would gather, we had our own premises. The University had exterritorial status; the police wasn't allowed to enter. Nor did they ever arrest anyone. And various speakers came to deliver lectures. Meetings were organized once a week together by Zycie and the ZNMS, on subjects literary, political, whatever we found interesting.

One of the first speakers I remember was Cyrankiewicz 17. Wonderful, marvelous, handsome, lean, blond [Editor's note: everyone remembers him bald from the photographs]. He spoke beautiful Polish. He was from the ZNMS. We also invited writers, men of letters. One day, for instance, we were visited by Kruczkowski [Leon Kruczkowski (1900-1962): chemist, left- leaning writer and essayist]. But then there would come the endeks 18, the kind of boys that you'll also find in Poland these days [see Mlodziez Wszechpolska] 19... the ZPND and the Youth Legion [far-right youth organizations]... and they would start the 'Zwischenrufe' [German for 'interrupting shouts'], trying to break up the meeting, prevent the debate. They would also throw rotten eggs at the speaker to force him to leave. That's what they did with Kruczkowski. The meeting had to be aborted. They were a militia, members of the fraternities, student corporations 20.

There's this rhyme by Szenwald [Lucjan Szenwald (1909-1944): poet, communist activist], it goes like, 'czapeczka, laseczka, akselbancik, bydle wlane korporancik,' ['a cap, a cane, an aiguillette, here's the frat boy, a drunken lout']. The 'aiguillette' because they tied sashes on their shoulders. The cap and the cane, the cap often properly trimmed. They staged anti-Semitic riots, organized the bench ghetto and disrupted our meetings. We also had a militia of our own so they fought. And so much for a discussion, for a meeting.

And we did prison time for socialist activism. The university year was divided into trimesters; there was more vacation than normal life. After each trimester we went home for three weeks. And we changed the lodgings every time to save on rent. We didn't live in a dorm because there were few dorms, and chiefly for low-income students. Friends came to us to say goodbye because we were going home for three weeks. And suddenly the police arranged a frisk and, in 1934, in the apartment where I lived on Starowislna, I was arrested for alleged subversive activity. For being anti- state... And we landed in jail. To serve time was called 'kiblowac,' from the 'kibel,' the bucket that stood in the corner where you relieved yourself.

My mother attended every day of my trial. It was a great blow for my parents, but that's how we paid back for all the goodness that we had received. Two years in prison. And my husband, who was tried alongside me, received six years. I was expelled from the university, stripped of my civil rights. I was released in 1936 and started living on my own. You had to work, and unemployment was very high. It was the Great Depression period.

Radomsko ceased to be my home, it was only out of sentiment I went there. I remembered my childhood with great fondness. But in fact I no longer lived in Radomsko. It was a great embarrassment for the family that the daughter did time in prison, ruined her own life. In Radomsko, they viewed everything from a different angle. My parents were neither communists nor socialists. They weren't even Zionists.

Upon being released I first spent some time in Sosnowiec. Then I went to Warsaw. I lived at 56 Nowolipie Street, in a very beautiful, large house, as a subtenant, with Mr. and Mrs. Berger. Those were young, but religious people. I wasn't familiar at all with all those Jewish regulations and restrictions. I was surprised to see a young man scrubbing his face instead of shaving, because Jews weren't allowed to shave. Or, for instance, he calls me from his room, 'Mrs. Pola, Mrs. Pola, can you come here for a moment?' I enter, it was Friday night. 'Where are you?' I ask and I turn on the lights. And he says, 'Thank you.' I didn't even know that [on Sabbath] you aren't allowed to turn on the lights [i.e. perform any work].

I worked in the Alfa confectionery plant, on Mlynarska Street. Some relatives of Samsonowicz [paternal cousin], who were accountants, recommended me. The factory was owned by Jews named Wajdenfeld. They were two brothers who started with two bags of sugar, and eventually worked it up into a business with 400 employees. I worked as a bookkeeper, in the office, clattering away on the typewriter, learned some basic bookkeeping and that's how I made my living.

During the war

In 1939 I went on leave for the first time, to a summer resort, for two weeks. To Zielona near Jaremcze. Areas that are now part of Russia. [Jaremcze, summer resort near Kolomyja, today western Ukraine]. We went hiking in the mountain; it was the so-called Eastern Beskid Mountains, very beautiful. And then, towards the end of my leave, the unrest started in the border areas, in the north. And you felt war in the air. Everyone was packing up and I left, too.

On my way back to Warsaw I dropped in on my mother and sister who were on vacation in Kamiensk [near Radomsko]. And my sister asks me, 'Tell me, if there's war, will it be possible to buy things? Will the shops remain open?' 'I have no idea,' I said, 'like you don't.' 'Perhaps you'll stay with us?' she asked. 'No,' I said. By then I had become almost the sole provider for the family, their finances were poor. I was helping them and I didn't want to lose my job, no one had any idea what war meant. I said farewell to my parents and returned to Warsaw. I left them, and the next time I saw my sister was when she came to visit me after our mother's death.

Before the war actually began, there were preparations, fake alarms, that kind of thing. There was a nurse in every house, with a first-aid kit, to help if need be. I also received first-aid training. To prevent the Germans from entering Warsaw, we dug trenches in the Smocza Street area. I later saw what use those trenches turned out to be... when the motorized [German] army rolled into Warsaw [on 30th September 1939]. They didn't have a single horse... first came the motorcycles, then the tanks.

The first air raid. I was downtown, on Marszalkowska. Doing some business, and suddenly - the alert. We knew what to do. Jump into the nearest gate, because in every house there was a civil defense committee, there was a basement to hide, gas masks... So we're crowding into the gate. Suddenly we hear - the swish of falling bombs. This isn't an alert, this is for real. 'Here we are!' they demonstrated. [The first German bombs fell on Warsaw at 6am on 1st September 1939. They hit working-class apartment blocks in the Kolo and Rakowiec neighborhoods. Ms. Starzec must have remembered the bombing on some other day].

In the meantime, they seized the whole of Poland. Warsaw defended itself until the very end. I was still able to call my parents but soon the telephones were cut off. When the war started, I demonstrated with others in front of the French and British embassies - come help us! Starzynski, the president of Warsaw, a decent, wonderful man, ran the defense effort 21. He gave instructions until the last moment, ordered the men to evacuate from the city. We received all that because we had a radio at the factory. But when the daily air raids began, they didn't let me go anymore.

As long as the [Warsaw] ghetto 22 was open, I went to work, because it wasn't far, in Wola. They no longer paid us in money but still they paid us in kind. Chocolate products, couverture, that sort of thing. The factory had its own water intake, own power plant, and its employees formed a superb team. The owners had a brother-in-law, Kostrzewa, who wasn't a Jew. He later became the plant's Treuhänder 23. They both emigrated to America later. The factory had huge basements with big stocks of sugar, condensed milk, and all kinds of ready products. And when the war started, they didn't lock that away. There was a wide entry gate, they opened it, and people queued up for those products. They sold everything out to the last piece of candy. I slept at the factory in case of an intense air raid. There was terrible hunger. People cut [dead] horses in pieces. The stores were empty, water had been cut off; you took water from the Vistula. There was no electricity, everyone used carbide lamps.

In September 1939 [3rd September], the Germans entered Radomsko. And on 13th April 1940, my mother died. She had angina pectoris. There was no talk of any ghetto at that time, of no armbands... [Editor's note: the Radomsko Ghetto was closed on 20th December 1939; see Armbands] 24. The Wehrmacht 25 soldiers commandeered brass door knobs for cannonballs. My mother saw those Germans and fainted. And they never roused her back. They were worried themselves what to do with the problem. I was in Warsaw at the time and they [the family] hid it from me. My father got a job at the post office and he sent me packages. Those packages were brought to me by Kierocinski, a neighbor, every week. And there was always a letter from my mother. The last time he came, there was cake in the package, everything as usual. 'And where is the letter?' I asked. And he blurted out, 'You know, your mother felt a bit ill, she fainted.' 'But she's alright now?' She was dead by then, but they just prohibited him from saying anything, because it was no longer allowed to travel by train [and the family was afraid Ms. Starzec would try to get by train back to Radomsko].

I had a bad feeling, why has my mother not written me, what is he saying, she fainted? The cake is there, but no letter... I said, 'I'll go with you, when do you go back to Radomsko?' 'Tomorrow, perhaps the day after tomorrow.' It was just an intuition, a nasty feeling that nagged me. I went to the office at Teatralny Square that issued travel permits, and, surprise, I got it. I must have appeared truthful, that something had happened to my mother, I was anxious, needed to go and check.

I arrived in the town, took a droshky to the house, no one went out to the balcony. Well, something's wrong. And at this point my sister and the others run out of the house, all in tears. 'What's up with Mama?' 'She's dead.' She had already been buried. With Jews the dead are buried immediately. My mother is buried at the Jewish cemetery. My sister and I put up a gravestone after the war, not knowing anything about our father, how he died. I think he went with one of the transports, so he rests there symbolically with our mother's ashes. April 13 is the anniversary of our mother's death, a date we have always remembered.

And so I returned to Warsaw. My sister came to me. I still lived with the Bergers, they had two little babies. There was a basement in the house, and [during the relocation action carried out daily between July and September 1942] you could go down there. The Germans entered the ghetto and told everyone to gather in the courtyards, assisted by the police. They didn't go up the stairs because they were afraid of typhus which at the time was rampant in the ghetto. We, acting on intuition, either went down to the basement or not. Grandmother Berger, for instance, climbed into the mezzanine with the children. The entrance to the basement was hidden, children were the first to go. You had to crawl into the shelter which, until the alert was called off, remained bolted shut. And I remember to this day what gave me the horrors then: that I'm in a dungeon and I cannot leave it through that small exit. And the conditions in that basement were horrible. The crying children...

My sister and I went through many such alerts. And the transports kept going until the very end [the ghetto's liquidation]. The last transport during our stay in the ghetto took place when few people had been left [see Great Action] 26. We had realized by then that no one would stay in the ghetto. We had to leave. It was high time. My sister hesitated, she was afraid [to go], was all nervous, her face reflected fear and anxiety.

We worked in the so-called shop 27, a furrier's shop on Nowolipie. We made fur coats for the military, for the German army in Russia. The so called Schultz shop [probably Schultz & Co. at 80 Nowolipie Street, or the Fritz Schultz shop at 44/46 Nowolipie]. We had the 'Ausweise' 28; that was supposed to help us survive. And, indeed, it did. [During yet another action] they told us to take food for three days and clothing. And so we went. A procession, like in the movie, it was terrible, people had taken whatever they could with themselves, now they fell under the burden of all those bundles. We didn't have much, just a change of underwear and that's all. People left everything along the road until they got to the Umschlagplatz 29. And there was a whole campsite. With fires, tents...

And so the selection and segregation began. We had to go into the line, with those 'Ausweise' of ours. You showed your papers and you went either this way or that way. We saw some friends, acquaintances. There was a girl we knew, with her parents, relatively young ones, and her husband. Our friends, neighbors. And, before our very eyes, the parents were taken to the side, i.e. to the transport, and the young ones were let through, because they had 'Ausweise,' like us, so they were still useful, fit to work.

In front of me there was a woman with a little baby. That's cruel, but I'll never forget it either. Because they let her through, but only without the baby. And she left the baby because she wanted to go through. Humans ceased to be humans. All ethical principles and human feelings had been suspended. It was a traumatic experience for me. That was the kind of scenes I saw. I was together with my sister, but we were young, had the papers, and they let us through. And so we returned to the apartment at Nowolipie. We met Grandmother Berger there, she had hidden with the children... the whole family had stayed.

By then, the Russians had started responding, the 'Stalin Organs' [slang military term for katyusha rockets; in August and September 1942, Soviet long-distance bombers carried out air raids on numerous Polish cities, including, several times, on Warsaw]. A German in a Wehrmacht uniform sat next to me in the shop. 'Why do you go obediently like that, why don't you rebel against what's going on?' he asks me. He was our ally! Not all Germans were the same. That I also remember. And the role of the [Jewish] police 30? They weren't nice. They weren't good [people]. The Germans kept them until the last moment, but in the end they also went to the transports.

One time there was an alert and we went down to the basement. In the apartment we had some food products - some flour, groats, things like that. We had an iron stove in the room, because it was terribly cold. And on that stove we cooked soup, [so thick] the spoon stood in it. We come back [after the alert] and the food's all gone, stolen. Because the Germans had the policemen go and check whether anyone had stayed back in the apartments. And on top of that those policemen stole from Jews. That was nasty. Poor guys, they thought they would save themselves that way. They didn't. Which doesn't mean that all of them were like that. Such situations can occur in any community. Those are difficult things. Unfortunately. I remember the actions undertaken by the head of the Judenrat 31.

Donations were organized to help the refugees because the ghetto was hugely overpopulated; people were being brought from everywhere. [The inhabitants of areas around Warsaw, so-called 'refugees,' were being brought to the Warsaw ghetto, and their material situation was extremely poor]. They placed them in all the synagogues, they lived in terrible conditions. You couldn't cross the street, not to rub against one and catch a typhus louse. The poor ones no longer cared about life. Even though it was after curfew, they went out into the street and cried, 'Drop us some bread!' It's the first time I'm telling anyone about it, I'm not sure I should be.

But we had friends [Poles outside the ghetto] who cared for us and at the right moment pulled us out. They told us to leave the ghetto, we obeyed. A lady came with messages from them. Her name was Rozalia Solecka. Much older than myself, she knew me. And she knew I was from Radomsko, like her, only she wasn't [in the ghetto] because she was married to a non-Jew and lived in Zoliborz [a Warsaw neighborhood].

In January I went out [to the Aryan side] and in April [1943] they started burning down the ghetto 32. I knew I had to place my sister somewhere. Myself, I often didn't know in the evening where I'd spend the night, who'd offer me shelter. Though I had the papers, I didn't have a place of my own; I didn't want to expose anyone to danger. But I had some experience in underground activities and I was calmer inside. My sister couldn't hide the fact [she was Jewish], had to be pulled out of the ghetto almost by force, she kept saying, 'I want to die with the others.'

My sister was placed with a family named Skalski. Together with thirteen other Jews, all in a single concealed room. In Praga [a neighborhood in right-bank Warsaw], on Zabkowska Street, near the Rozyckiego market. Placed with a janitor who had been relocated from the ghetto [before the ghetto was closed, all non-Jews had been relocated elsewhere] and given an apartment in Praga [instead]. Three janitors were supposed to live in that apartment, each in a different room. But the other two had relatives in the countryside and didn't use those rooms, so Skalski had the whole apartment at his disposal. They allotted one room for a hiding place. And when a tenant [from the same house] came, it was clear he knew [about the hiding place], but if someone came from outside, the gendarmes, the Germans, they didn't know because the entrance to the room was properly concealed. And they slept in that room, lived there, kept guard in case of anything. They had straw pallets to sleep on.

They were placed there by a man we knew named Hert, a German name, perhaps he had signed the 'Volksliste,' I don't know. [Volksliste (German People's List): a Nazi institution whose purpose was the classification of inhabitants of Nazi occupied territories into categories of desirability according to criteria systematized by Heinrich Himmler. The institution was first established in occupied western Poland. Similar institutions were subsequently created in Occupied France and in the Reichskommissariat Ukraine. Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Volksliste] In any case, he was a public notary in Radomsko and later in Minsk Mazowiecki and my father did business with him and contacted him in business matters. He took care of us by securing genuine birth certificates of people who were dead, thanks to which I had a genuine kenkarta 33, which my sister didn't need because she never left her hiding place. [People in hiding didn't need fake papers]. And my name during the occupation was Zofia Dzioblowska.

My sister met her [future] husband when in the hiding place [in Skalski's apartment]. Chil Kirszenbaum. From Minsk Mazowiecki, young like her, born in 1920. A very handsome and very talented boy. In Minsk, he experienced the anti-Jewish riots in the 1930s, attacks on Jewish stores, was beaten up, he suffered a knee injury, something that has given him a hard time since then. They never left [the apartment they were hiding in]. They had the so-called bad looks [i.e. were easily recognizable as Jews] or had other reasons to stay put.

One important person from the war period was Aunt Niusia. What can I say about her? Aunt Niusia saved my cousin. His name was Ignacy Samsonowicz, he was a Bund 34 member and was in the ghetto at the same time as us. Had a teacher wife and a son, fled from the Piotrków ghetto to Warsaw. And I met him there for the first time. I had heard about him because we had many paternal cousins in Piotrków and Czestochowa. His wife, a beautiful woman, and a wonderful 12-year-old boy, were killed in a roundup [in Piotrkow]. And he was in a terrible depression. He had to be pulled out [of the ghetto]. And as he was a high-ranking Bund member, his fellow Bundists pulled him out of the Warsaw ghetto by force and placed him at 24 Zurawia Street. Where it wasn't allowed to hide anyone because it was a ZOB safe place. [Editor's note: it was a safe place for the Zegota - codename of the underground Council to Aid the Jews - the Polish government-in-exile organization to help Jews in occupied Poland.]

Aunt Niusia had the apartment from before the war. She wasn't Jewish. Her name was Eugenia Wasowska-Leszczynska. Wasowska was her maiden name. She was an editor by profession, ran an advertising business. She was a member of the Stronnictwo Demokratyczne and was very active on the Red Cross before the war. She wasn't married, even though she was many years my elder. A social activist. There were two entrances to the apartment - from the corridor in the front and from the back stairs. She made the apartment available for the ZOB [correctly: for the Zegota]. And the Bundists met there. For security reasons, it wasn't allowed to hide individual people there. But they brought Samsonowicz there and there he stayed. She cared for him. She hid him there until the end of the war and eventually married him.

He changed his name from Samsonowicz to Leszczynski, and hence her married name was Leszczynska. She died on 28th May 1987. We were very close, and to this day I take care of her grave. She was an everyday guest in our home, a wonderful person. The house on Zurawia wasn't destroyed in the [Warsaw] uprising. Bartoszewski [Wladyslaw Bartoszewski, born 1922, Polish politician and diplomat, historian, essayist, writer, during the war a member of the Home Army and a Zegota activist] uncovered a commemorative plaque there and people looked out their windows and said they never knew there had been a safe place there. We tried, my sister and I, to get her awarded with the Righteous Among the Nations medal 35, and we finally succeeded.

Another important person was Irena Solska [real name Karolina Flora Sosnowska (1875-1958): renowned Polish actress]. There was that action, a trap set up for Jews on the Aryan side, the so-called Hotel Polski 36. It was a provocation, they took money from people, promising them safe passage to the States or elsewhere [Editor's note: the travel documents were issued for neutral countries, chiefly in South America, as well as Palestine]. I was already visiting Samsonowicz, receiving money that we distributed as allowance among people [the money came from the Zegota]. I remember I had no job. I had already placed my sister in a safe place. Now, to be okay with my kenkarta, I needed an address.

I met an acquaintance from Nowolipie, she asks me what's up. 'I'm looking for a place, have you heard of something?' 'I'm vacating a room in Mokotow, because I've signed up for emigration, at the Hotel Polski, you know. It costs a lot but I hope it'll work.' I don't remember her name. I don't even remember her face anymore. She gave me Irena Solska's address. 'I have a place but the sofa there has been borrowed from Irena Solska. You have to sleep on something. Here's her address - tell her I sent you and ask whether you can continue using the sofa.'

It was then that I heard about the Hotel Polski. I hurried to Ignacy Samsonowicz and I tell him, 'Tell me, what's this Hotel Polski because I have no means of providing for myself on the Aryan side, and a sister to pay for...' We paid that janitor; he needed money to get by too. And I had no prospects for a job of any kind. I tell him, 'Perhaps I could sign up for the thing too, what do you think, are there any possibilities? I have no money.' And he says, 'Listen, darling, it'll be easier to jump into the Vistula from the Poniatowskiego bridge. Don't try that, it's a dirty business.'

And so I went to Irena Solska and I found a way [to survive]. I didn't know Solska before the war. I only knew she was a renowned theater actress. An artist. I went to her, there was a cosmetics store in the front, and she lived on the first floor at the back. I say 'A lady such-and-such has sent me and can I keep the borrowed sofa because I need a place to stay?' And she starts telling me, in an utterly theatrical voice, the old dramatic school, Nina Andrycz [born 1915, Polish theater and movie actress] style, 'I receive wool here that needs to be taken to the clients...' And she trembled, it was advanced Parkinson, she was already old. 'Your job is to take the material to the clients, pick up the money, the pay is so and so, breakfast and dinner included.' I'm waiting for an answer about the sofa and she's telling me all that in that theatrical voice of hers! I ask, 'But, madam... are you making this offer to me?' 'Yes, I am.' 'Do you know who you're talking to?' 'I do.' 'But I can be stopped with the material and the money and never return, because I'm a Jew.' 'I can tell. But I trust nothing bad will happen to you, I believe in what my intuition tells me.' And it was like being on cloud nine. I had a way to earn my living, to have a place to stay, money, and even to pay for my sister. 'Nothing bad will happen to you with me.'

And I worked for her right until the [Warsaw] uprising. I carried the wool, all day long in the streetcars, riding in the 'grape clusters' [vernacular for streetcars so full that people rode outside, clinging on to the car in an image of a cluster of grapes], my kenkarta was stolen, I had trouble. The clients I delivered the wool to were wives of pre-war officers now interned in POW camps. Officers' wives, in Ochota [a Warsaw neighborhood] and in the army houses in Aleje Niepodleglosci. They had looms and weaved on them. One time I crossed the Kierbedzia Bridge, going from Praga to Warsaw, and right in front of Miodowa there was a blockade. And I had a package with wool. I was going to clients in Ochota. I ask someone if it's a roundup again. Because sometimes they were stopping the streetcars, throwing everyone out, frisking. And me with that package, it was worth a lot of money. And someone answers me, 'Don't you see? They're burning the kikes in the ghetto.' I saw flames over the ghetto... [It was the beginning of the Ghetto Uprising].

And then I had my encounter with a szmalcownik 37. A navy-blue policeman 38. I was unable to keep a brave face. Terrible anxiety, and what to do? I arrive in Ochota, at Narutowicza Square a navy-blue policeman gets off with me and stops me, 'Your kenkarta, please.' He had been following me, must have [found out] from my reaction to the words about 'burning the kikes in the ghetto.' I say, 'I won't go with you, I have some business to do around here.' 'Okay, I'll go with you.' And he did.

I went to two clients with him. I didn't care, I knew he wanted money, but I didn't give him anything even though I had some on me. But, on the other hand - my sister... I called in an apartment at Filtrowa, left a package... but I won't call Solska because I would compromise her. I left him, I'm coming back, he sits and waits for me in the gateway. I say, 'There's one more person I have to visit.' And he obediently follows me, my kenkarta in his hand.

Finally, when I was to go to the third of my contacts, I tell him, 'Okay, I'll go with you now, what do you want to do?' 'I'll take you to the station here.' 'Why do you want to take me to the station? Do you think I'm Jewish?' And at those words he trembled. [The underground Polish organizations] had been issuing death sentences against the szmalcowniks, and he must have thought, 'She goes from one place to another, perhaps she's told them about me?' He was quite simply afraid. He actually kissed me on the hand, apologized. And went away, I didn't even know in which direction.

All trembling, I boarded a streetcar and went to Solska, told her the whole story. It was her who told me then that the Polish underground organizations had been passing death sentences on the blackmailers. 'And he got frightened,' she told me. 'Calm now. It's good it ended like that.' And that was my encounter with the burning ghetto. Solska soothed me then, she was a wonderful person.

The [Warsaw] Uprising 39 separated us because by chance I found myself in Praga... I didn't stay long in my first apartment because there arose some nasty suspicions [that the interviewee was Jewish], I had to keep changing my address. When the uprising broke out, I was living in Mariensztat [Warsaw neighborhood, near the Old Town]. Shortly before [the start of the uprising on 1st August 1944] I wanted to take my sister to my place, I was already a member of the AL 40, had more friends and contacts. I knew the uprising would break out any day now, the preparations had been under way, so in the morning, at dawn, I hurried to [the apartment at] Brzeska to take my sister to Warsaw. It was 1st of August. Ircia was already living with her husband. She didn't want to hear about leaving without him, he didn't want to move either. I decided to go back to Warsaw, all I had on myself was a summer dress. But the bridges had already been closed. I stayed with them. On Brzeska, with the thirteen of them. And there I spent the whole period [during the uprising and afterwards] until liberation.

I had to remain in hiding for some time because my official address was elsewhere. But later I was able to move. I helped the housekeeper, went shopping with her to a market in Grochow [today neighborhood, then suburb of Warsaw]. We had to bring supplies for thirteen. For two weeks the streetcars in Praga didn't work, but then the uprising in Praga was crushed and I was able to move freely. Where the Decennial Stadium is today [Warsaw's largest sports arena, disused now, built in 1955 to commemorate the 10th anniversary of People's Poland] were fruit-and-vegetable gardens. We went there for tomatoes, under fire, the 'cows' [called so because of the sound the heavy shell made when fired] swooshed past! That's how it was.

After the war:

And eventually I was able to welcome the military: the First Army 41. At the corner of Brzeska and Kijowska. There was a balcony on the third floor and a dog, Cacus, who always warned us beautifully if the gendarmes were coming. I went through Praga with the thirteen to get out of town, and as soon as we passed the tollbooths we heard, 'Just look at that, so many kikes have managed to survive.' You heard that around. And so I was liberated and I hitchhiked to Lublin. They [my sister and her husband] stayed in Minsk Mazowiecki, where he found his family house. The family wasn't there anymore. And that's where they lived right after the war.

Let me tell you now about a friend of mine. She's my friend from the student period in Cracow, she studied biology, I did chemistry. She came from Bedzin [town in Silesia, some 200 km south of Warsaw]. We bumped into each other accidentally after the war. We were applying for a job somewhere, she had been in the First Army. Married name Litoczewska, maiden name Perlmuter. Marysia. We called her Maniusia. She was so petit, so slim, always smartly dressed. And when I met her, right after the war, she approached me, in uniform, she looked like a bag with a piece of rope wrapped around her waist, so round she was. It wasn't the same Marysia, I didn't recognize her at first. And so, from word to word, we moved in together. A rented room, in Praga. We also got married on the same day: 1st October, my birthday. 1944. Soon afterwards she emigrated with her husband to Israel. They have two kids, the girl lives in England, the boy in Germany.

I found one more of my mother's cousins after the war - Mietek Zelinger [son of Uncle Bernard]. I was in Katowice, dropped by Sosnowiec, to see whether the house was still there. I arrived, it was. I climbed the stairs to the second floor. I knock at the first door, I ask whether they know anything about the Zelinger family, what happened with them during the war. 'You come at the right moment, Mietek has just returned from the camp. Come in, he's gone to town to look around; he'll see you when he gets back. He'll be very happy to.' How immensely happy I was...

Mietek told me then how it all looked: they [the Germans] came, took everyone, the parents [Bernard and Zosia] and them [Mietek and Henio]. The parents were sent to one camp, and the two of them to another. In the camp, Henio died of hunger right before liberation, and the parents - Mietek didn't know how they died because they were in a different camp. [Mrs. Starzec doesn't remember the names of the camps].

We took Mietek to Warsaw. He wasn't there long. From the very beginning, he was determined to go to Israel [then Palestine]. He made his mind up right away and told us that. We tried to convince him, 'Stay here, we'll set you up,' but he didn't want to hear about that. He started as a simple hand [in Israel], a boy that had lived in a lap of luxury at home. But there he worked hard and somehow, by his own effort, he eventually got settled.

He met a Yemenite girl, and that was his first great love. A beautiful, wonderful girl, slender, as if sculpted. That gave him an extra motivation. He fell in love and they are a wonderful family. He has many kids, they live in Israel. A wonderful marriage, and they live to this day. It was his happiness after all those hardships. He lived in tough conditions. But now he is a happy father and grandfather. He suffers from a heart condition. He's much younger than me, I was his tutor when I lived with them [for a brief period in 1936 in Sosnowiec]; I gave him some private lessons. In one word, a great boy today. He's changed completely. 'Mietek, I remember you were mean, bad...' 'Well, yes, I was mean.' He's grown a moustache [to cover the harelip]. And he wanted to die there, in Israel.

I didn't emigrate because I really feel Polish, I know the language, the literature. I visited Israel but didn't find it attractive. They [the Israelis] are very much like we, the Poles. In every respect. They've been through as much slavery as we have but they are as nationalistic and chauvinistic as many people here. I saw synagogues for whites and for blacks. Just as people don't like Jews here, so they don't like Poles there, I was shocked by all that. It wasn't for me.

I also saw a ghetto in Israel, completely separated... I was there about ten years ago [around 1996]. I went there to see my sister. I was walking through one of Tel Aviv's neighborhoods to visit my cousin [Mietek]. And suddenly a gate opens and the kaftans pull out, all with payes, big, small, pulling out in a large crowd. I arrive at my cousin's and ask him what it was. He tells me the neighborhood is inhabited by Hasidim who still wait for their Messiah to come. From the cheder, to the universities, they have everything they need here. They don't feel liberated yet.

Those who were leaving to Israel were doing so with highly bitter feelings. Some, those who experienced the pogroms, I understand. My brother-in-law, who did a lot for Poland, also met with injustice, was sacked from his job, virtually thrown on the street. And, following Gomulka's speech 42, they [he and his wife, Mrs. Starzec's sister] left. Many like them left then, people that had devoted their lives to Poland. Their elder son, Marek, was born in 1947, lives in France today. Marek Kirszenbaum. He has three wonderful kids, Bruno is the youngest, born in 1981.

My sister and her husband emigrated with their younger son who lives in Los Angeles now. And Marek stayed because he already had a career, in physics. And today he's retired. He's very talented, he worked at the equivalent of our Nuclear Research Institute. My sister and her husband have moved to Los Angeles. He's in a poor condition. The younger son brought them there. When they were leaving, they were still in good shape, but you shouldn't replant old trees. The second emigration, from Israel to the States, proved hard on them.

My husband, Adolf Starzec, isn't Jewish. He grew up in the country, in tough conditions. The parents scrimped and saved to educate their children, to pay for their studies. He was the youngest one, brought up by his aunt. An aunt with ten children. He came from the Cracow region, from a village near Tarnow [city some 200 km south-east of Warsaw], called Zukowice Stare. He was a good student, it was planned he would become a priest. But he changed his mind. He completed a high school in Tarnow, where he lived in lodgings, and then went to university in Cracow. Tarnow is like Cracow in miniature. Beautiful architecture.

It's the student period we know each other from. From the socialist movement. He thought it was it for him. He was also active on peasant organizations. Had contacts with Witos 43, he was many years my elder. He did manage to complete his studies. He defended himself beautifully [during the trial], got six years. Released eventually, he worked as a simple construction worker, carried bricks. And when the war broke out, all the [court] files, of course, fell into the Gestapo's hands. He fled to Russia. He was there all the time. And only after his return we did get to know each other again. And we got married.

He was a man who sincerely fought for freedom and truth and who believed that was the right way. A very noble man. He lived in Cracow for some time after the war. Our little son had already been born. I remember how I traveled to Cracow with the baby boy in a wrap, he didn't walk yet. We hiked a lot in the mountains with my husband. We didn't ski but hiked and that's how we spent any leisure time we had. Our younger son, Krzysio, was born in 1950. He had those beautiful curls, such lovely hair, and today he's bald... My elder son, Wlodek, was born in 1947. He's dead.

And finally a digression. I've never experienced hunger. I was shocked to learn that a friend of mine, with whom I was in prison together, died of hunger in Russia. That was inconceivable for me. A girl from Cracow, my cellmate. Pepcia Alszter [diminutive for Pepa]. It was the first time I met someone like that. We were young so we talked. 'Do you have a boyfriend?' 'I do.' 'And you?' 'I don't.' When we asked Pepcia whether she had a boyfriend, she blushed. So we press, 'Come on, spit it out. Is there someone you're in love with?' And she says, 'Lenin.' A young girl, thin as a rake, eyes big as saucers. She was so devoted to the idea and they let her die of hunger there, in that paradise...

Unfortunately, no idea works right in real life. Even religion, whether Christian or Jewish and so on. What is my criticism of the Jewish [religion] is that it hasn't reformed itself at all. I'm handicapped because I have no religion. I believed in the [socialist] ideology but it didn't work out the way it should. The kibbutzim in Israel were very much how I thought things should look like. But even they haven't managed to stay afloat. They're collapsing slowly because obviously people need some freedom.

Glossary:

1 Great Depression

 At the end of October 1929, there were worrying signs on the New York Stock Exchange in the securities market. On 24th October ('Black Thursday'), people began selling off stocks in a panic from the price drops of the previous days - the number of shares usually sold in a half year exchanged hands in one hour. The banks could not supply the amount of liquid assets required, so people didn't receive money from their sales. Five days later, on 'Black Tuesday', 16.4 million shares were put up for sale, prices dropped steeply, and the hoarded properties suddenly became worthless. The collapse of the Stock Exchange was followed by economic crisis. Banks called in their outstanding loans, causing immediate closings of factories and businesses, leading to higher unemployment, and a decline in the standard of living. By January of 1930, the American money market got back on it's feet, but during this year newer bank crises unfolded: in one month, 325 banks went under. Toward the end of 1930, the crisis spread to Europe: in May of 1931, the Viennese Creditanstalt collapsed (and with it's recall of outstanding loans, took Austrian heavy industry with it). In July, a bank crisis erupted in Germany, by September in England, as well. In Germany, in 1931, more than 19,000 firms closed down. Though in France the banking system withstood the confusion, industrial production and volume of exports tapered off seriously. The agricultural countries of Central Europe were primarily shaken up by the decrease of export revenues, which was followed by a serious agricultural crisis. Romanian export revenues dropped by 73 percent, Poland's by 56 percent. In 1933 in Hungary, debts in the agricultural sphere reached 2.2 billion Pengoes. Compared to the industrial production of 1929, it fell 76 percent in 1932 and 88 percent in 1933. Agricultural unemployment levels, already causing serious concerns, swelled immensely to levels, estimated at the time to be in the hundreds of thousands. In industry the scale of unemployment was 30 percent (about 250,000 people).

2 Marienbad/Marianske Lazne

A world-famous spa in the Czech Republic, founded in the early 19th century, with many curative mineral springs and baths, and situated on the grounds of a 12th-century abbey. Once the playground for the Habsburgs and King Edward VII, as well as famous personalities including Goethe, Strauss, Ibsen and Kipling, Marianske Lazne has been the site of numerous international congresses in recent years.

3 Hasid

The follower of the Hasidic movement, a Jewish mystic movement founded in the 18th century that reacted against Talmudic learning and maintained that God's presence was in all of one's surroundings and that one should serve God in one's every deed and word. The movement provided spiritual hope and uplifted the common people. There were large branches of Hasidic movements and schools throughout Eastern Europe before World War II, each following the teachings of famous scholars and thinkers. Most had their own customs, rituals and life styles. Today there are substantial Hasidic communities in New York, London, Israel and Antwerp.

4 MOPR (International Organization for Aid to Revolutionary Fighters)

Founded in 1922, and based on the decision of the Fourth Congress of the Communist International, the organization aimed to protect workers from the terrorist attacks of the Whites and help the victims of terrorism. It offered material, legal and intellectual support to political convicts, political emigrants and their families. By 1932 it had a membership of about 14 million people.

5 Volksdeutscher in Poland

a person who was entered (usually voluntarily, more rarely compulsorily) on a list of people of ethnic German origin during the German occupation was called Volksdeutscher and had various privileges in the occupied territories.

6 Polish Socialist Party (PPS)

Founded in 1892, its reach extended throughout the Kingdom of Poland and abroad, and it proclaimed slogans advocating the reclamation by Poland of its sovereignty. It was a party that comprised many currents and had room for activists of varied views and from a range of social backgrounds. During the revolutionary period in 1905- 07 it was one of the key political forces; it directed strikes, organized labor unions, and conducted armed campaigns. It was also during this period that it developed into a party of mass reach (towards the end of 1906 it had some 55,000 members). After 1918 the PPS came out in support of the parliamentary system, and advocated the need to ensure that Poland guaranteed freedom and civil rights, division of the churches (religious communities) and the state, and territorial and cultural autonomy for ethnic minorities; and it defended the rights of hired laborers. The PPS supported the policy of the head of state, Jozef Pilsudski. It had seats in the first government of the Republic, but from 1921 was in opposition. In 1918-30 the main opponents of the PPS were the National Democrats [ND] and the communist movement. In the 1930s the state authorities' repression of PPS activists and the reduced activity of working-class and intellectual political circles eroded the power of the PPS (in 1933 it numbered barely 15,000 members) and caused the radicalization of some of its leaders and party members. During World War II the PPS was formally dissolved, and some of its leaders created the Polish Socialist Party - Liberty, Equality, Independence (PPS-WRN), which was a member of the coalition supporting the Polish government in exile and the institutions of the Polish Underground State. In 1946-48 many members of PPS-WRN left the country or were arrested and sentenced in political trials. In December 1948 PPS activists collaborating with the PPR consented to the two parties merging on the PPR's terms. In 1987 the PPS resumed its activities. The party currently numbers a few thousand members.

7 Polish People's Republic (PRL)

The official name of the Polish state introduced in the constitution of 1952 and abolished in 1989. It is also the colloquial term for the entire postwar period of Polish history to 1989, when Poland was part of the USSR's bloc of satellite states and the dominant role within the country was played by the communist party, the Polish United Workers' Party (PZPR). The PRL formally had all the trappings of a democratic state - parliament (the Sejm), a government, and general elections, but in practice only 3 parties participated in the elections - the PZPR and two dependent parties: the United Peasant Alliance (ZSL) and the Democratic Alliance (SD). Poland was a member of the Council for Mutual Economic Aid (RWPG) and the Warsaw Pact. The main periods in the history of the PRL are as follows: the transition period 1944-1948, the Stalinist period 1948-1956, the period of government by Wladyslaw Gomulka 1956-1970, the period of government by Edward Gierek 1970-1981, martial law 1981-1983, and the twilight period 1983-1989. The PRL ended with the 'round table' talks, during which the PZPR ceded some authority to the opposition in the form of the Solidarity trade union movement.

8 Jews in Czestochowa during the war

according to the 1931 national census, 25,600 Jews lived in Czestochowa, out of a total population of 117,000. The Germans marched into the city on 3rd September 1939. On 1st October a 24-strong Judenrat (Jewish Council) was created, with Leon Kopinski as chairman. A large number of Jews from Lodz, Plock, Cracow, as well as the nearby towns such as Krzepice, Przyrów, Olsztyn, Janów, or Mstów were resettled to Czestochowa. When the ghetto was created on 9th April 1941, it had a population of some 48,000. It was located in the north- eastern part of the city in an area bounded by the river Warta and the streets Mirowska, Garncarska, Mostowa, Senatorska, Rynek Warszawski and Jaskrowska. The majority of the Czestochowa ghetto's inhabitants died as a result of the first deportation action from 22nd September-8th October 1942, when the Germans sent 40,000 people to the Treblinka death camp. Close to 1,000 Jews were employed at the so-called "Pelcery" factory, run by the company Hasag Apparatenbau. For the remaining over 5,000 Jews the so- called 'small ghetto' was set up. Some 1,500 people stayed within its bounds illegally. During the deportation action, a Jewish Fighting Organization (ZOB) unit was created, led by Mordechai Zylberberg. From December 1942, the unit was in touch with the Warsaw ZOB. On 4th January 1943, the second liquidation action was started; in its course, a small group of fighters led by Mendl Fiszlewicz attacked the Germans. Some 4,000 Hasag employees were left in the city. In June 1943, the company launched three new plants: Raków, Warta, and Czestochowianka. Among the workers there were also Jews from Lodz and from the Plaszów camp, chiefly from Germany, Austria, Czechoslovakia, and Hungary. When, in July 1944, Hasag moved its Skarzysko-Kamienna plant to Czestochowa, there were 11,000 Jews in the city. On 15th January 1945, the plants were evacuated to Germany. Their personnel survived the war.

9 Hashomer Hatzair in Poland

From 1918 Hashomer Hatzair operated throughout Poland, with its headquarters in Warsaw. It emphasized the ideological and vocational training of future settlers in Palestine and personal development in groups. Its main aim was the creation of a socialist Jewish state in Palestine. Initially it was under the influence of the Zionist Organization in Poland, of which it was an autonomous part. In the mid-1920s it broke away and joined the newly established World Scouting Union, Hashomer Hatzair. In 1931 it had 22,000 members in Poland organized in 262 'nests' (Heb. 'ken'). During the occupation it conducted clandestine operations in most ghettos. One of its members was Mordechaj Anielewicz, who led the rising in the Warsaw ghetto. After the war it operated legally in Poland as a party, part of the He Halutz. It was disbanded by the communist authorities in 1949.

10 Numerus clausus in Poland

After World War I nationalist groupings in Poland lobbied for the introduction of the numerus clausus (Latin: closed number - a limit on the number of people admitted to the practice of a given profession or to an institution - a school, a university, government office or association) in relation to Jews and other ethnic minorities. The most radical groupings demanded the introduction of the numerus nullus principle, i.e. a total ban on admittance to universities and certain professions. The numerus nullus principle was violated by the Polish constitution. The battle for its introduction continued throughout the interwar period. In practice the numerus clausus was applied informally. It depended on decision of deans or university presidents. In 1938 it was indirectly introduced at the Bar.

11 The Kingdom of Poland

Other names: the Congress Kingdom, Congress Kingdom of Poland, founded in 1815 by a decision of the Congress of Vienna. It extended throughout the lands of the Kingdom of Warsaw with the exception of the Poznan and Bydgoszcz provinces and the city of Cracow. It had an area (until 1912) of 128,500 km2 and a population of 3.3m in 1816 and 10m in 1910. The Kingdom of Poland was a monarchy linked by a personal union with Russia, with the tsar as king. It had a Polish Sejm (diet), government and army, but was not permitted to conduct its own foreign policy. The constitution, though formally liberal, was systematically violated. The Kingdom of Poland was a center of the Polish liberation movement. In 1830 the November Uprising broke out; following its failure the Kingdom of Poland ceased to be a separate state and was henceforth to be an integral part of the Russian Empire. After the January Uprising in 1863 the Kingdom was stripped of its separate identity altogether. In official documents the name 'the Kingdom of Poland' was replaced with the expression 'the Country along the Vistula.' In the second half of the 19th century the country was subjected to intensive Russification. In 1915 it was occupied by German and Austrian forces; the occupation lasted until November 1918. After 1918 the lands of the Kingdom of Poland became part of the independent Poland.

12 Galicia

Informal name for the lands of the former Polish Republic under Habsburg rule (1772-1918), derived from the official name bestowed on these lands by Austria: the Kingdom of Galicia and Lodomeria. From 1815 the lands west of the river San (including Krakow) began by common consent to be called Western Galicia, and the remaining part (including Lemberg), with its dominant Ukrainian population Eastern Galicia. Galicia was agricultural territory, an economically backward region. Its villages were poor and overcrowded (hence the term 'Galician misery'), which, given the low level of industrial development (on the whole processing of agricultural and crude-oil based products) prompted mass economic emigration from the 1890s; mainly to the Americas. After 1918 the name Eastern Malopolska for Eastern Galicia was popularized in Poland, but Ukrainians called it Western Ukraine.

13 Bench ghetto

A form of discrimination applied against Jewish students at higher educational institutions in interwar Poland. In lecture halls separate seats were allocated to Jewish students and they were not allowed to sit elsewhere. The bench ghetto was introduced in 1935 at the Lwow Polytechnic, and in 1937 the majority of the rectors of Polish higher educational institutions brought it in with the approval of the Ministry of Religious Confessions and Public Education. Jewish students, along with Polish students who supported them, protested by standing during lectures and not occupying any seats. Their protest was also supported by a few professors, including Tadeusz Kotarbinski.

14 Jagiellonian University

In Polish 'Uniwersytet Jagiellonski,' it is the university of Cracow, founded in 1364 by Casimir III of Poland and which has maintained high level learning ever since. In the 19th century the university was named Jagiellonian to commemorate the dynasty of Polish kings. (Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jagellonian_University)

15 The Zycie Independent Socialist Youth Union

a university communist youth organization founded in 1923, active mainly in Warsaw, Cracow, Lwow and Vilnius. It was strongly influenced by the Communist Party of Poland (KPP) and the Communist Union of Polish Youth. It acted in defense of students' economic rights and equal opportunities for ethnic minorities, and to combat anti-Semitism in higher education. It was dissolved in May 1938 along with the KPP.

16 Union of Independent Socialist Youth

A student organization created in 1922, a continuation of the Union of Associations of Polish Youth for Progress and Independence. It was active mostly in Warsaw and Cracow. Politically allied with the Polish Socialist Party, it cooperated with Workers' University Society. It coordinated self-education, organized lectures, debates, fought for student rights, e.g. in the so-called anti- tuition campaign. Groups with communist leanings separated from the Union and created The Union of Independent Socialist Youth "Life." During the war, the conspiracy group "Plomienie" ["The Flames"] was called to life by the Union. In April 1946 the Union was reactivated. In July 1948 it joined the Academic Union of Polish Youth.

17 Cyrankiewicz, Jozef

(1911-1989): Communist and socialist activist, politician. In the interwar period he was a PPS (Polish Socialist Party) activist. From 1941-45 he was interned by the Germans to Auschwitz. A member of the PZPR (Polish United Workers' Party) since 1948 and prime minister of the PRL (Polish People's Republic) from 1954-70, he remained in positions of public authority until 1986.

18 Endeks

Name formed from the initials of a right-wing party active in Poland during the inter-war period (ND - 'en-de'). Narodowa Demokracja [National Democracy] was founded by Roman Dmowski. Its members and supporters, known as 'Endeks,' often held anti-Semitic views.

19 Mlodziez Wszechpolska

a student organization, nationalist and anti- Semitic in character, created in 1918, ideologically linked with Narodowa Demokracja, most influential in academic circles. Reactivated underground during the war, in 1943. After 1945 failed attempts at legalization as a party. In 1989 the organization was reactivated at a convention of nationalist Catholic youth in Poznan (current president of the board: Roman Giertych).

20 Corporations

Elite student organizations stemming from Germany [similar to fraternities]. The first Polish corporation was founded in 1828. They became popular in the 1920s and 1930s, when over 100 were set up. In the 1930s over 2,000 students were members, or 7% of ethnic Polish male students. Jews and women were not admitted. The aim of the corporations was to play an educational, self-developmental role, to foster patriotism, and to teach the principles of honor and friendship. Meetings included readings and lectures, and the corporations played sport. The professed apoliticism of the corporations was a fiction. Several players fought for influence in the Polish Union of Academic Corporations - the Union of Pan-Polish Youth (Zwiazek Mlodziezy Wszechpolskiej), the Nationalist-Radical Camp (Oboz Narodowo-Radykalny), and the Camp for a Great Poland (Oboz Wielkiej Polski). Before the war most corporations were of an extreme right-wing ilk. This also included anti-Semitic attitudes. Students in corporate colors participated in anti-government campaigns and hit squads, resorted to physical violence against Jews, and supported the "lecture-theater ghettos" at universities and the idea of the numerus nullus, a ban on Jews studying.

21 Defense of Warsaw

Several days after the outbreak of World War II on 1st September 1939, after the evacuation of national and military authorities from Warsaw, Colonel Umiastowski called all men able to carry arms to leave Warsaw. The civilian mayor of Warsaw, Stefan Starzynski, opposed this decision. Men from all over Poland responded to his appeal and volunteered to defend the capital from the Germans.

22 Warsaw Ghetto

A separate residential district for Jews in Warsaw created over several months in 1940. On 16th November 1940 138,000 people were enclosed behind its walls. Over the following months the population of the ghetto increased as more people were relocated from the small towns surrounding the city. By March 1941 445,000 people were living in the ghetto. Subsequently, the number of the ghetto's inhabitants began to fall sharply as a result of disease, hunger, deportation, persecution and liquidation. The ghetto was also systematically reduced in size. The internal administrative body was the Jewish Council (Judenrat). The Warsaw ghetto ceased to exist on 15th May 1943, when the Germans pronounced the failure of the uprising, staged by the Jewish soldiers, and razed the area to the ground.

23 Treuhänder

In November 1939 the Germans in the General Governorship created a Trust Office - Treuhandstelle. The trust, or receivership, order was applied to state enterprises, private firms important for defense and all companies, real estate and farms belonging to Jews and to 'enemies of the Reich.' The order implemented the taking over of property from those people and transferring them into the hands of a trust fiduciary (a 'Treuhänder'), who was to transfer the major part of their revenue to the Trust Office, that is the occupant authorities. The most valuable companies were, of course, given to the German management. There weren't enough willing Germans to handle the mass of Jewish houses and firms, so 'Treuhänder' were recruited among Poles. Relationships between a 'Treuhänder' and a former owner varied: especially in the case of enterprises a 'Treuhänder' often allowed the former owner to remain in the company as the manager. In many other cases a former owner was simply thrown out of his house or company.

24 Armbands

From the beginning of the occupation, the German authorities issued all kinds of decrees discriminating against the civilian population, in particular the Jews. On 1st December 1939 the Germans ordered all Jews over the age of 12 to wear a distinguishing emblem. In Warsaw it was a white armband with a blue star of David, to be worn on the right sleeve of the outer garment. In some towns Jews were forced to sew yellow stars onto their clothes. Not wearing the armband was punishable - initially with a beating, later with a fine or imprisonment, and from 15th October 1941 with the death penalty (decree issued by Governor Hans Frank).

25 Wehrmacht (German Armed Forces)

Wehrmacht was the official name of the German Army between 1935 and 1945, which consisted of land, naval and air forces. Apart from the soldiers of the Wehrmacht, the members of the Waffen-SS also participated in actions during WWII. It grew out of the para- military SS (Schutzstaffel) body established within the Nazi party in 1925 after their takeover and originally constituted Hitler's personal bodyguards. Placed under the Wehrmacht, however, the Waffen-SS participated in battles from 1939. Its elite units committed the massacres of Oradour, Malmedy, Le Paradis and elsewhere.

26 Great Action (Grossaktion)

July-September 1942, mass deportations from the Warsaw ghetto to Treblinka extermination camp. This was the first liquidation campaign, during which around 265,000 of 355,000 Jews living in the ghetto were deported, and a further 10,000 were murdered on the spot. About 70,000 people remained inside the ghetto walls (the majority of them, as unemployed, were there illegally).

27 Shops

popular name for manufacturing workshops operated by German entrepreneurs in the Warsaw ghetto and producing various goods for the military. The shops were being founded from January 1941 when Deutsche Firmgemeinschaft Warschau GmbH, owner of, among other things, the Toebbens and Schulz companies, won a major defense contract. The majority of the shops, however, were founded in the second half of 1941. Jewish workshops were being taken over for the purpose. The shops manufactured everything from uniforms to weapons and munitions. The workers were Jews from the ghetto, paid minute wages. In the initial period of the 'Grossaktion' (Great Action) in the summer 1942, being a shop employee protected one from deportation to a death camp. After the 'Grossaktion' had been completed, the shop employees were the only Jews legally remaining within the bounds of the ghetto, or anywhere in Warsaw for that matter.

28 Ausweis

an occupation-era ID document issued by an employer to employees. Working for an office or a German company protected one from being sent to forced labor in Germany.

29 Umschlagplatz

German for 'reloading point,' the area of the Warsaw ghetto on Stawki and Dzika Streets, where trade with the world outside the ghetto took place and where people were gathered before deportation to the Treblinka death camp. About 300,000 people were taken by train from the Umschlagplatz to Treblinka.

30 Jewish police

Carrying out their will the German authorities appointed a Jewish police in the ghettos. Besides maintaining order in general in the territory of the ghetto the Jewish police was also responsible for guarding the ghetto gates. During liquidation campaigns most of them collaborated with the Nazis; in the Warsaw ghetto each policeman had to supply at least five people to the Umschlagplatz every day. The reason for joining the Jewish police, first of all, was based on the false promises of the Germans that policemen and their families would be saved. In the Warsaw ghetto the Jewish police was headed by Jakub Szerynski; during the 'Grossaktion' (the main liquidation campaign in the summer of 1942), the Jewish Fighting Organization issued a death warrant on him, and he was to be executed on 20th August 1942 by Izrael Kanal. The attack failed, Szerynski was only wounded, and in January 1943 he committed suicide.

31 Judenrat

Jewish councils appointed by German occupying authorities to carry out Nazi orders in the Jewish communities of occupied Europe. After the establishment of the ghettos they were responsible for everything that happened within them. They controlled all institutions operating in the ghettos, the police, the employment agency, food supplies, housing, health, social work, education, religion, etc. Germans also made them responsible for selecting people for the work camps, and, in the end, choosing those to be sent to camps that were in reality death camps. It is hard to judge their actions due to the abnormal circumstances. Some believe they betrayed Jews by obeying orders, and others think they were trying to gain time and save as many people as possible.

32 Warsaw Ghetto Uprising (or April Uprising)

On 19th April 1943 the Germans undertook their third deportation campaign to transport the last inhabitants of the ghetto, approximately 60,000 people, to labor camps. An armed resistance broke out in the ghetto, led by the Jewish Fighting Organization (ZOB) and the Jewish Military Union (ZZW) - all in all several hundred armed fighters. The Germans attacked with 2,000 men, tanks and artillery. The insurrectionists were on the attack for the first few days, and subsequently carried out their defense from bunkers and ruins, supported by the civilian population of the ghetto, who contributed with passive resistance. The Germans razed the Warsaw ghetto to the ground on 15th May 1943. Around 13,000 Jews perished in the Uprising, and around 50,000 were deported to Treblinka extermination camp. About 100 of the resistance fighters managed to escape from the ghetto via the sewers.

33 Kenkarta

(Ger. Kennkarte - ID card) confirmed the identity and place of residence of its holder. It bore a photograph, a thumbprint, and the address and signature of its holder. It was the only document of its type issued to Poles during the Nazi occupation.

34 Bund in Poland

Largest and most influential Jewish workers' party in pre-war Poland. Founded 1897 in Vilnius. From 1915, the Polish branch operated independently. Ran in parliamentary and local elections. Bund identified itself as a socialist Jewish party, criticized the Soviet Union and communism, rejected Zionism as a utopia, and Orthodoxy as a barrier on the road towards progress, demanded the abolition of all discrimination against Jews, fully equal rights for them, and the right for the free development of Yiddish-language secular Jewish culture. Bund enjoyed particularly strong support in central and south-eastern Poland, especially in large cities. Controlled numerous organizations: women's, youth, sport, educational (TsIShO), as well as trade unions. Affiliated with the party were a youth organization, Tsukunft, and a children's organization, Skif. During the war, the Bund operated underground, and participated in armed resistance, including in the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising as part of the Jewish Fighting Organization (ZOB) led by Marek Edelman. After the war, the Bund leaders joined the Central Committee of Polish Jews, where they postulated, in opposition to the Zionists, a reconstruction of the Jewish community in Poland. In January 1949, the Bund leaders dissolved the organization, urging its members to join the communist Polish United Workers' Party.

35 Righteous Among the Nations

A medal and honorary title awarded to people who during the Holocaust selflessly and for humanitarian reasons helped Jews. It was instituted in 1953. Awarded by a special commission headed by a justice of the Israeli Supreme Court, which works in the Yad Vashem National Remembrance Institute in Jerusalem. During the ceremony the persons recognized receive a diploma and a medal with the inscription "Whoever saves one life, saves the entire world" and plant a tree in the Avenue of the Righteous on the Remembrance Hill in Jerusalem, which is marked with plaques bearing their names. Since 1985 the Righteous receive honorary citizenship of Israel. So far over 20,000 people have been distinguished with the title, including almost 6,000 Poles.

36 Hotel Polski

a well-known German provocation. In 1943 the Germans announced that they would enable all Jews - citizens of neutral countries and territories incorporated into the Reich - to legally emigrate from Poland. They were supposed to be exchanged for German citizens who were being detained by the Allies. Volunteers were supposed to come to Hotel Polski, which was located at 29 Dluga Street and to Hotel Royal on Chmielna Street in Warsaw. Many Jews considered this to be a possibility for saving their lives. They purchased documents of deceased persons or fake documents for huge sums of money. In 1943 the first transport of Jews left Hotel Polski for a camp in Vittel in France. 4-5,000 people passed through Hotel Polski. Some were shot to death in the Pawiak prison in Warsaw. Most were taken to France and then to death camps in Auschwitz and Bergen-Belsen. Approx. 10% survived.

37 Szmalcownik

Polish slang word from the period of the German occupation (derived from the German word 'Schmalz', meaning lard), referring to a person blackmailing and denouncing Jews in hiding. Szmalcowniks operated in all larger cities, in particular following the liquidation of the ghettos, when Jews who had evaded deportation attempted to survive in hiding. In Warsaw they often formed organized groups that prowled around the ghetto exists. They picked out their victims by subtle signs (e.g. lowered, frightened eyes, timid behavior), eccentric clothing (e.g. the lack of the fur collar so widespread at the time, or wearing winter clothes in summer), way of speaking, etc. Victims so selected were threatened with denunciation to the Germans; blackmail could be an isolated event or be repeated until the victim's financial resources ran out. The Polish underground attempted to combat the szmalcowniks but in vain. To this day the crimes of the szmalcowniks are not entirely investigated and accounted for.

38 Navy-Blue Police, or Polish Police of the General Governorship

The name of the communal police which operated between 1939 and 1945 in the districts of the General Governorship. Navy-Blue police was subordinate to the order police (so-called Orpo, Ordnungpolizei). Members were forcibly employed officers of the pre-war Polish state police. Navy-Blue Policemen participated, for example, in deportations of residents, in suppressing the 'black market,' in isolating Jews in ghettoes. Some members participated in cells of the underground state and passed on information about the functioning of the German forces.

39 Warsaw Uprising 1944

The term refers to the Polish uprising between 1st August and 2nd October 1944, an armed uprising orchestrated by the underground Home Army and supported by the civilian population of Warsaw. It was justified by political motives: the calculation that if the domestic arm of the Polish government in exile took possession of the city, the USSR would be forced to recognize Polish sovereignty. The Allies rebuffed requests for support for the campaign. The Polish underground state failed to achieve its aim. Losses were vast: around 20,000 insurrectionists and 200,000 civilians were killed and 70% of the city destroyed.

40 People's Army (AL)

Polish military organization with a left-wing political bent, founded on 1st January 1944 by renaming the People's Guard (set up in 1942). It was the armed wing of the PPR (Polish Workers' Party), and acted against the German forces and was pro-Soviet. At the beginning of 1944 it numbered 6,000-8,000 people and by July 1944 some 30,000. By comparison the partisan forces numbered 6,000 in July 1944. The People's Army directed the brunt of its efforts towards destroying German lines of communication, in particular behind the German-Soviet front. Divisions of the People's Army also participated in the Warsaw Uprising. In July 1944 the Polish Armed Forces (WP, Wojsko Polskie) were created from the People's Army and the Polish Army in the USSR.

41 The 1st Kosciuszko Infantry Division

Tactical grouping formed in the USSR from May 1943. The victory at Stalingrad and the gradual assumption of the strategic initiative by the Red Army strengthened Stalin's position in the anti-fascist coalition and enabled him to exert increasing influence on the issue of Poland. In April 1943, following the public announcement by the Germans of their discovery of mass graves at Katyn, Stalin broke off diplomatic relations with the Polish government in exile and using the Poles in the USSR, began openly to build up a political base (the Union of Polish Patriots) and an army: the 1st Kosciuszko Infantry Division numbered some 11,000 soldiers and was commanded first by General Zygmunt Berling (1943-44), and subsequently by the Soviet General Bewziuk (1944-45). In August 1943 the division was incorporated into the 1st Corps of the Polish Armed Forces in the USSR, and from March 1944 was part of the Polish Army in the USSR. The 1st Division fought at Lenino on 12-13 October 1943, and in Praga in September 1944. In January 1945 it marched into Warsaw, and in April-May 1945 it took part in the capture of Berlin. After the war it became part of the Polish Army.

42 Gomulka Campaign

A campaign to sack Jews employed in the Ministry of Internal Affairs, the army and the central administration. The trigger of this anti-Semitic campaign was the involvement of the Socialist Bloc countries on the Arab side in the Middle East conflict, in connection with which Moscow ordered purges in state institutions. On 19th June 1967, at a trade union congress, the then First Secretary of the Polish United Workers' Party [PZPR], Wladyslaw Gomulka, accused the Jews of lack of loyalty to the state and of publicly demonstrating their enthusiasm for Israel's victory in the Six-Day-War. This marked the start of purges among journalists and people of other creative professions. Poland also severed diplomatic relations with Israel. On 8th March 1968 there was a protest at Warsaw University. The Ministry of Internal Affairs responded by launching a press campaign and organizing mass demonstrations in factories and workplaces during which 'Zionists' and 'trouble-makers' were indicted and anti-Semitic and anti-intelligentsia slogans shouted. Following the events of March, purges were also staged in all state institutions, from factories to universities, on criteria of nationality and race. 'Family liability' was also introduced (e.g. with respect to people whose spouses were Jewish). Jews were forced to emigrate. From 1968-1971 15,000-30,000 people left Poland. They were stripped of their citizenship and right of return.

43 Witos, Wincenty (1874-1945)

politician, peasant movement activist, prime minister of Poland. Born to a peasant family, elected the leader of the village of Wierzchoslawice. 1895 joined the Polish Peasant Party (PSL). Member of Austro-Hungary's National Parliament and National Council. Following a break-up in the PSL in 1913, elected chairman of the PSL Piast faction. 1919-1931 Member of Parliament for the Polish Sejm, leader of the PSL Piast caucus, prime minister in 1920-21, 1923, 1926. Following the May 1926 armed coup d'etat by Józef Pilsudski that overthrew his government, Witos remained in opposition. One of the organizers of a left-wing election bloc called Centrolew, arrested and sentenced to 1,5 years in prison in the so-called Brest trial in 1930. 1933 immigrated to Czechoslovakia. Active on the émigré opposition organization Front Morges. 1939-1941 imprisoned by the Germans. After the war, honorary chairman of the PSL.

Rebeca Assa

Rebeca Assa
Sofia
Bulgaria
Interviewer: Dimitar Bozhilov
Date of interview: March 2002

  • Family background

I was born on March 24th 1922 in Plovdiv. My ancestors were born, and lived, in Bulgaria. My father's parents were born in Plovdiv. Both my grandfathers had died before I was born, and that's why I know almost nothing about them.

My maternal grandfather was named Rahamim Ilel, and he was also born in Plovdiv. Only my maternal grandmother, who was named Rashel, was born in Karlovo [a small town in Central Bulgaria]. My grandmother had moved to Plovdiv, and she met my grandfather there and they got married.

My paternal grandmother, Perla Benvinisti - I don't remember her maiden name - had been a professional cook and she cooked for the rich families, for weddings and other celebrations. She was very popular among the rich Jews.

My [maternal] grandmother had died when she was 75 years old in the house where I lived with my mother and father. Both my grandmothers wore scarves on their heads so that the hair remained hidden.

My paternal grandmother lived with her older son, Rahamin in Plovdiv - according to the tradition he was the one to take care of his mother. The house belonged to Rahamin's wife. Grandmother also lived with her other son, Mihael, and in the end, my mother took her to live with us.

My mother's name was Lora - nee Ilel, Benvinisti after her husband. She was born in 1900. I remember that she used a sewing machine to sew sheets and clothes that were sold in shops later. She didn't get enough money from that; they used her as a cheap labor force.

She went to work so that she could help my father, who was a shoemaker and repaired shoes. His name was ?air Benvinisti. My mother had a brother who had gone to the United States in 1930. I have cousins there but I don't know them.

My father went to the Jewish school till the 4th class. The funniest thing was that even when he was 80 years old, he still remembered the names of all the 32 classmates he had there. He used to recite those names on each family gathering and that always impressed and amused us very much. Both my parents were literate. My father's favorite book was about Vasil Levski 1.

My father had a sister, Sultana Benvinisti, who also went to the United States to live with her fiancé Marko Amar. They were together for a long time in Bulgaria and they even had a child, Aron, but her fiancé suddenly left for the USA.

Everybody then thought that he had abandoned her after she had lived with him for eight years, but one day a telegram arrived saying that he would wait for her at the New York airport. My aunt's farewell was impressive.

I remember that my paternal grandmother lived in a small house and received a lot of congratulations for finally managing to marry her daughter off. Aron is as old as me, but I don't know anything about him. I remember a street with many cabs and many people in them who had come to see Sultana off to the airport.

The whole of Plovdiv had gathered. Before that my father had gone to some rich Jews to ask for money so that he could help her leave. Mutual aid is really great between Jews.

  • Growing up

The first house I lived in was in the Marasha quarter. I was born there in 1922. That was the poorest quarter in Plovdiv. It was a place with small, two-floor houses situated on top of each other. The poorest people lived on the first floor, and the richer, on the second.

We lived on the second floor, only because my father had work. The owner of these houses was a Jew and he rented out houses. The houses were situated in such a way that they formed a large inner yard. Only Jews lived there.

We moved into another house in the central part of the town in 1936. My father worked in a small shop where there was also a bakery. The Jews went to have their shoes repaired. We rented the floor above the bakery. The house was next to the Jewish school.

We lived in two rooms on the second floor. We, the children, lived in the bigger room and our parents, in the smaller one. We also had a small kitchen where my mother used to cook. The house was quite unstable and I was afraid to go out on the metal balcony because I thought I might slip and fall down.

Anyway, there was electricity in the house. When they closed the bakery where my father used to work, a good friend of ours, a Bulgarian, placed a barrack at my father's disposal and he continued to work there. We had many acquaintances that were Bulgarians. They helped me a lot, and we loved each other very much. Plovdiv was a nice town and people there were very friendly.

There was a man, Hadji Haim, who lived next to the place where my father worked. He himself had seen Vasil Levski.

We were very proud of the fact that we knew him. This man lived in the biggest building in Plovdiv. It had three floors, and there was a grocery on the ground floor where we could buy on credit.

My father was called to appear before an army commission in the town of Karlovo. He was very short and thin and they didn't accept him into the army. He went back to Plovdiv on foot because he didn't have money for a train ticket. He was a healthy man and lived to an old age.

We usually went on excursions out of Plovdiv in the summer. We traveled in a taligi [long carriage]. We used to go to some village near Plovdiv - usually to Komatevo. We didn't have our own carriage, and we usually hired one to transport us.

We talked both in Ladino and Bulgarian at home. Sometimes we even spoke the two languages simultaneously - for example my mother said something to me in Bulgarian and I answered her in Ladino. My mother tongue was Ladino.

Unfortunately my children don't know Ladino. They understand what we are talking about, but they can't talk in that language. I speak Ladino and Hebrew. I used to speak Ladino to the children of my age before I started school.

This language has always been closer to me. Later I spoke with my husband in Bulgarian. His parents had spoken Ladino but he didn't learn the language because he graduated from a German school. There was a secondary school up to the 7th class in Plovdiv where they taught German.

The Jewish school also went up to the 7th class. My two brothers and I graduated from the Jewish school in Plovdiv. I didn't know many words in Bulgarian when I started school. I used Ladino words when I had to write an essay, because we only spoke Ladino at home.

I learnt Bulgarian only after I started school. We only completed the 4th class [the equivalent these days is the 7th grade], as our parents didn't have enough money to support us. We studied French, Hebrew, Jewish history and Bulgarian history in the Jewish school.

They made us go to the synagogue every morning. We studied up to the 7th class in the Jewish school - that means secondary education according to the Bulgarian educational system. The school was situated in the central part of the town.

My older brother Albert Mair Benvinisti was born in Plovdiv in 1924. He studied at the Jewish school up to the 4th class. He started to work as a laborer in shops and warehouses from a young age. When he was young he worked in a shop and after that, he left for Israel in 1948.

He fixed himself nicely there - he works in an Israeli company dealing with machine production. My brother got married in Bulgaria, then lived in Israel for 13 years, and then came back to Bulgaria again. He is a Bulgarian citizen at the moment but he lives in Israel most of the time.

He travels to Bulgaria often because of his work and sometimes stays here for a couple of months. He earns more money in Israel. He also worked as a truck driver in Bulgaria and used to gather the leftovers from the restaurants, transporting them to some farm.

My younger brother Rahamin Mair Benvinisti was born when I was five - in 1927. We lived on 27, Bratia Miladinovi Street then. I remember his delivery very clearly. There was a midwife in the quarter where we lived. Her name was Mazal [luck in Hebrew].

She assisted in the childbirth of both my older children. My younger brother studied in a Bulgarian school and he had a secondary-school education. He worked as a laborer in shops and warehouses, he used to repair shoes - he did that in Israel also.

My younger brother did a thoughtless thing: he went to Uruguay in 1949, after he had spent a year in Israel. He thought that he would succeed in [South] America but the fact was that he didn't have any particular education.

He was only a great specialist in repairing shoes and that was how he made his living. He's retired now and wants to come back to Bulgaria, but he can't because he can't receive his pension here. This is possible only in Israel.

My mother and father considered themselves modern people and didn't observe the kashrut but we performed the ritual on Easter. I remember that my father didn't want to eat from the tough matzah and secretly bought fresh bread for himself. He didn't go to the synagogue.

He thought that wasn't necessary. Only my mother went there, but mostly to meet some people, or show off some of her new clothes. Women used to sit on the balcony in the synagogue. That was considered the elite.

Every Pesach, my mother and father bought suits for both my brothers and, whatever dress I wanted, for me. The used to take credit from the bank and then pay it off. They always bought us new shoes, too.

We used to gather at my father's younger brother Isak for Pesach, as he was considered to be the most prosperous in the family because he worked in a factory. Three families used to gather then - ours, my uncle's and the one of my father's other brother, David.

That uncle of mine came from the town of Haskovo where another family had adopted him. We had to keep it secret whenever he came because he had been sold in Haskovo on the condition that he wouldn't ever see his mother.

Anyway he used to come and see her secretly. His foster parents were rich people and my father's brother risked them giving him up because he used to come to Plovdiv. My paternal grandmother's family lived in misery and that's why they had to give their child away.

We used to lay a white tablecloth for Pesach, and we also had special dishes that my mother only cooked on this holiday and she called them 'lalosa'. When we went to celebrate our Easter with some of our relatives, my mother used to take those dishes again.

My father's older brother Mihael used to read the prayer. I could also say the Haggadah because I had learnt it at the Jewish school. We had a tradition to hide a piece of the matzah [the afikoman], and the children had to look for it around the place.

We believed that the child who found it would be the happiest one during the whole year. This holiday lasts for eight days but we only took off work on the first and the last days, when we went to the synagogue.

My father didn't go to the synagogue - even on Yom Kippur, the holiday of the great absolution. Only my mother went there and she always invited my father to go with her, though she knew his attitude to that. On this day we weren't supposed to do any work or eat anything the whole day. We weren't even meant to turn on the light.

On Purim holiday the children were given some money so that they could amuse themselves and spend as much money as they could. Every relative who visited us that day, or met us in the street, gave us money.

Our family didn't have the opportunity to buy fruit for the holiday Fruitas 2. My mother's brother Liezer used to help us because he was richer. In my family my father used to buy the bread, and my mother went to the grocery.

The owner of the grocery was a Jew and his name was Rafael. My mother used to put a scarf on, take the basket and go shopping. She could buy on credit in this shop because she couldn't always pay.

My husband is named Moritz Assa and he was also born in 1922. He was from a richer family than mine. He lived nearby and, when I was going out for work in the morning, he also went out so that we could walk together. My husband was studying in the commercial high school in Plovdiv.

We got married in 1941 when we were 19 years old. He came to live in our house when we were just 16. His father had turned him out of home because he was a communist and they couldn't accept me for a daughter-in-law because I wasn't from a rich family.

We moved to 16 Bratia Miladinovi Street in 1936. I met him when I was just 16 years old. I was already pregnant when the chazzan came to marry us. That's why we didn't get permission to marry in Sofia and had to marry at home. The wedding was performed according to the Jewish traditions: with a talamu [Ladino for chuppah] over our heads that made the place holy as in the synagogue.

At this time my husband was involved in illegal activities and was gathering followers of the Revolutionary Youth Union [RYU] 3. He went to the school and agitated young men to become followers of the RYU. The police were looking for him and he used to hide in the homes of his friends - students.

He came to sleep in our home just for one night, on 1st March 1941, after we got married, and then he got arrested. I suspected that the landlord's son, whose name was Berto Garte, had informed the police about him because everybody else in the house was our friend. We met this man again many years later in Israel, but he insisted that it wasn't him that had betrayed my husband.

My husband was a very respected person, and when the policemen led him through Plovdiv the whole town went out to see him. He was fettered in heavy iron chains so that he couldn't run away.

I remember that his legs were hurt, and we managed to hire a carriage to take him from the prison to the court. My husband was in prison in Varna [a town on the coast of the Black Sea] for three years as a political prisoner.

I recall that my brother had worked since he was a little child. I also started work when I was 13 years old. I wanted very much to study at the commercial high school because I liked mathematics a lot. My mother wanted me to become a dressmaker instead.

I opposed that, and found myself a job at a shop in the main street. I started to clean the threads from the finished dresses there. Later, I started to sew with a machine and sewed 17 shirts a day. Of course, the work was shared between the different workers - I used to sew the collars, the other workers, the sleeves or the cuffs, and so on.

The owner of the dressmaker's workshop was a Jew and his name was Baruh. There was a butcher shop, Manevi Brothers, just opposite the place where we worked, and we used to have lunch there. The owner, Mr. Manev, even gave us food for free.

My mother had a treadle sewing machine, Pfaf, that she had bought second hand. This machine is still in good condition in my basement. My mother worked at a tobacco store at first and she was sewing sacks there. As she couldn't bear the smell of tobacco, she started to sew handkerchiefs. After coming back from work, I used to take her place behind the sewing machine while she prepared the meal.

I lived under rent the whole time. Only when my husband became a commercial representative in London in the late 1960s did I understand that the municipality sold apartments, and they let us buy the apartment where we live now. We took credit from the municipality to buy it. All our friends in London were very surprised that we didn't have the opportunity to buy it ourselves.

My mother and father had socialist political convictions. They had always been left-wingers. In the 1930s my father hid people who were illegal and wanted by the police for their extreme pro-communist convictions.

Such people used to take refuge in the Soviet Union at the time and came back after 9th September 1944. 4. Many guerrillas [antifascist orientated members of armed squads] have visited our home in Plovdiv. I remember that one night Malchika came to our house.

He was wearing a squash-hat and he came to instruct us to recruit people to join the party. [Editor's note: Malchika was the nickname of Adalbert Antonov, an active UYW member, who took part in the underground communist movement in Bulgaria. He was caught by the police and later executed.]

We held the gatherings of the Revolutionary Youth Union in a small wood near Plovdiv, and the boys used to hold hands with the girls so that it looked as though we were couples. We did that because the police kept an eye on us. I stopped being involved in illegal activities after my husband went to prison.

We didn't have any concrete ideas against the official authorities; we just wanted the working class to be paid better and have a better influence in the society. That's why we had a club where we used to read The Capital by Karl Marx. These ideas were very popular among young people.

All the young people that came from the villages to look for work in the town became members of RYU. My husband had impressed a great number of people with the antifascist cause. All that was considered illegal then. I remember that he impressed students from the carpentry school in Plovdiv.

He didn't only have troubles with the police because of his convictions: one evening we were walking together with Malchika when suddenly some classmates from the commercial high school attacked my husband. Malchika and I ran away then, and left him to fight them alone.

There were 32 members of the Revolutionary Youth Union in Plovdiv. That was quite a number for the town. There were wonderful people among them whom I had the honor to know. Malchika, for example, was a very erudite person. Unfortunately many people died in the mountains [the members of the guerrilla squads used to hide out of towns and villages].

  • During the war

Our state got worse after the 'Nation Defense Law' [Law for the Protection of the Nation ] 5 was accepted in 1939. The first anti-Semitic sentiments started to appear and we started wearing badges. The Jews in Plovdiv were not interned; only rich people were moved to ghettos.

Many of them used their money to 'ransom' their chance to escape abroad. So many of the richer Jews from Plovdiv went to live in Western Europe, or in the United States. The situation was very tense - there were 'brannici' [Brannik] 6, and they didn't allow us to go out on the streets freely.

Anyway, there weren't the extreme anti-Semite movements as there were in Germany, but the merchants were afraid to open their shops because Brannik members would break the windows. These were just hooligans - they weren't expressing the attitude of the whole Bulgarian society towards the Jews. In this connection I can say that the Bulgarian people is the wisest and the best one. We lived really badly in the time of Fascism.

Our first son Isak was born in 1942 when my husband had already been sentenced to political imprisonment. I raised my son alone with the help of my father who went on maintaining the whole family during the Holocaust - he worked as a shoe repairer. We couldn't go out, and I could only take my son for a walk outside the front of the door of the house.

A woman whose sons were 'brannici' lived in our house on Bratia Miladinovi Street. She used to have a very good attitude to my family and, as she had a radio, she constantly informed me about the latest developments from World War II.

She was the first to tell me that the Soviet army had entered Bulgaria, and that we were saved. After 9th September 1944, the first Prime Minister, Bagrianov, issued a decree and set free all political prisoners and I was very happy that my husband would be freed at last.

  • Post-war

My husband came back from the prison in Varna on 8th September 1944. I stood by the window for several days and nights waiting for him to come back. I remember that my younger brother didn't recognize him from the distance, but I ran [to him] immediately and hugged him.

Our first son was born while my husband was in prison - he hadn't seen his father! I remember that when my son was very little he cried from jealousy because I had my head on my husband's knees.

After 9th September 1944, my husband was chosen as a member of the Regional committee of the Bulgarian Communist Party [BCP] and, in 1946, he got a lodging in the main street in Plovdiv - on 1, Kniaz Alexander Street.

My second son, Maer, was born there. My husband worked for free then. After some time my husband's work became more organized and he started to get 40 leva a month. At the same time, my father was working as a shoemaker and supported us financially.

Then, for the first time, the organization Joint 7 came to Bulgaria and they gave clothes to many Jews and Bulgarians. That was the first time I tasted margarine and I found it very delicious. They also gave us many other products such as cheese, rice, butter and powder milk.

My husband went to work in the central committee of the BCP and my two children and I stayed with my mother. My husband and the people around him who dealt with the party business did that almost for free. They were exceptionally honest and motivated ideologically.

My husband was in a party school 8 in Sofia for two years where the future party leaders were trained. Meanwhile, I was living with my parents in Plovdiv. I used to sew at home because we were short of money, and I also distributed food vouchers. My husband Moritz was totally devoted to his ideas. I thought then that this idealism was not absolutely positive because it suggested that those who weren't communists were not human.

The great aliyah in Sofia happened in 1948 - thousands of people left for Israel. My brothers also left then. The older one had already married and had a child at that time.

I moved to Sofia in 1950. There were commissions that distributed lodgings. Such a commission gave me two rooms with the right to use a living room on Klement Gotwald Blvd [today Evlogi Georgiev Blvd].

My landlady had a husband who had been interned as an anti-communist because he had been a rich man. We got along very well with our landlady. I remember that she was very grateful, for I met her husband warmly when he came back from the internment.

Two of my children got married in that house. We moved to the apartment that we live in now - in the Hipodruma quarter - in 1962. I had already started work and was dealing with social activities then.

My parents came to Sofia two years after me because I wanted to work, and my mother came to look after the children. My mother and father easily became residents of Sofia [Sofia Resident] 9. I began to sew shirts and got very little money for that, but it helped us anyway.

My father started work in a co-operation for shoe repair. Our third child, Margo, was born in 1951. When she tuned two, I started work in a dressmaker's, Boyka, where I was promoted to quality controller. I worked there for 13 years and after that, I retired. My husband was sent to London in 1968 as a commercial representative of Bulgaria, and my children and I went there a year later.

We lived in England for five years. My husband was dealing with the whole trade exchange between the United Kingdom and Bulgaria. During our stay in London my husband managed to increase the exchange between the two countries several times over. His colleagues still remember him with respect.

We lived with our three children in London. My daughter married and had a baby at that time. I used to look after her baby in London. My older son also got married and gave me his child, Moritz, to look after.

All my five grandchildren speak perfect English. After we came back, we stayed in Bulgaria for eight years, and then went to London again because my husband was sent there as a commercial representative.

My older son Isak graduated from the university in Kiev, Ukraine. He went to work in Vienna, Austria, as an engineer, and he speaks English and German perfectly. After the political changes in Bulgaria in 1989, he went to Israel and hasn't come back since.

His son lives in Germany. My younger son, Maer, was born in 1946 in Plovdiv. He graduated from high school in Sofia, and he has a secondary-school education. He is married and has two children, Moritz and Maer. He lives in Sofia and is in the trade business.

One of his sons lives in Israel. My daughter Margarita was born in Sofia in 1951. She also has a secondary school education - she graduated in Sofia. She has a family and two daughters, Tzveta and Lora, and she is a clerk. All my children are married to Bulgarians.

I have been to Israel many times. The first time was in 1964. I visited my brother in Jafo for three months. Bulgarian Jews inhabited this town, so I didn't have any problems talking to people there.

There is a great invasion of Russian Jews there now, and the last time I went there I saw many sign- boards in Russian, too. During the wars in Israel [the Six-Day-War 10 and the Yom Kippur War 11], my two brothers lived there.

In 1989, when the political changes began, I was a little afraid that separation between Jews and Bulgarians would occur again, and that the people who had been in prison because of political reasons before 9th September 1944 would be imprisoned again. But it didn't happen.

We went on observing the Jewish holidays after 9th September 1944. There was a period in the 1950s when Zionism was declared to be equal to fascism and we were a little scared then. It was questionable whether Jews could take leaders' positions in the BCP.

I am very pleased of what Liudmila Zhivkova 12 did. She opened Bulgaria to the rest of the world and contacted the United States first. That was a very brave act for the time. I knew her personally from the time in London, and she seemed a very humble person to me.

After the political changes in Bulgaria from 10th November 1989 13, the Jewish community gained a lot of freedom. We had the freedom to meet as much as we wanted. During the communist rule there was a period when we were forbidden to meet in the Jewish community club.

The Jewish community is very well organized nowadays. We have different occasions in different clubs that we visit regularly. We have a Health club where we do physical exercises, a Ladino club where we practice the Ladino language, and a Hebrew club where we learn Hebrew.

We also have a club named Golden Age where we gather every Saturday - we listen to lectures and music, or discuss different topics. Many people are interested in studying Ladino and go to this club.

My husband Moritz Assa is the president of the Jewish organization Shalom in Sofia and he actively participates in the Jewish community life. The Jewish organization in Sofia takes care of the activities of the Jewish Culture Home, which offers us a rich cultural program, many social benefits and opportunities for meetings.

All the Jewish Culture Home activities are supported by different foundations and mostly by the American association Joint, and the English one, Lauder [the Ronald S. Lauder Foundation]. We also receive funds from restituted Jewish real estate.

I also visit the community regularly. We take care of the poor and people in need there. Joint foundation also helps us a lot. We collect clothes and distribute them among the poorer families and orphanages. Our club develops a wide range of charity activities. We also have an old people's home where we look after lonely, elderly people.

I live very freely now. Every Saturday I go to the club where we listen to lectures from different professors. The last lectures were about Judaism so that we, the Jews, got to know about the sages of our history. I find the book that describes the most famous Jews in the world very interesting. The club's main activities are supporting mutual aid between Jews and the organizing of educational lectures.

  • Glossary:

1 Levski, Vasil (1837-1873)

Bulgarian national hero. Vasil Levski was the principal architect of the campaign to free Bulgaria from the oppression of the Ottoman Empire. Beginning in 1868, Levski founded the first secret revolutionary committees in Bulgaria for the liberation of the country from the Turkish rule.

Betrayed by a traitor, he was hanged in 1873 as the Turks feared strong public resentment and a possible attempt by the Bulgarians to free him. Today, a stone monument in Sofia marks the spot where the 'Apostle of Freedom' was hanged.

2 Fruitas

The popular name of the Tu bi-Shevat festival among the Bulgarian Jews.

3 Revolutionary Youth Union (also called the Union of Young Workers)

A communist youth organization, which was legally established in 1928 as a sub-organization of the Bulgarian Communist Youth Union.

After the coup d'etat in 1934, when the parties in Bulgaria were banned, it went underground and became the strongest wing of the BCYU. Some 70% of the partisans in Bulgaria were members of it. In 1947 it was renamed Dimitrov's Communist Youth Union, after Georgi Dimitrov, the leader of the Bulgarian Communist Party at the time.

4 9th September 1944

The day of the communist takeover in Bulgaria. In September 1944 the Soviet Union unexpectedly declared war on Bulgaria. On 9th September 1944 the Fatherland Front, a broad left-wing coalition, deposed the government.

Although the communists were in the minority in the Fatherland Front, they were the driving force in forming the coalition, and their position was strengthened by the presence of the Red Army in Bulgaria.

5 Law for the Protection of the Nation

A comprehensive anti-Jewish legislation in Bulgaria was introduced after the outbreak of World War II. The 'Law for the Protection of the Nation' was officially promulgated in January 1941.

According to this law, Jews did not have the right to own shops and factories. Jews had to wear the yellow star; Jewish houses had to display a special sign identifying it as being Jewish; Jews were dismissed from all posts in schools and universities.

The internment of Jews in certain designated towns was legalized and all Jews were expulsed from Sofia in 1943. Jews were only allowed to go out into the streets for one or two hours a day. They were prohibited from using the main streets, from entering certain business establishments, and from attending places of entertainment.

Their radios, automobiles, bicycles and other valuables were confiscated. From 1941 on Jewish males were sent to forced labor battalions and ordered to do extremely hard work in mountains, forests and road construction. In occupied Macedonia and Thrace the Bulgarians treated the Jews with exceptional cruelty.

The Jews from these areas were deported to concentration camps, while the plans for the deportation of Jews from Bulgaria was halted by a protest movement launched by the vice-chairman of the Bulgarian Parliament.

6 Brannik

Pro-fascist youth organization. It started functioning after the Law for the Protection of the Nation was passed in 1941 and the Bulgarian government forged its pro-German policy. The Branniks regularly maltreated Jews.

7 Joint (American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee)

The Joint was formed in 1914 with the fusion of three American Jewish committees of assistance, which were alarmed by the suffering of Jews during WWI. In late 1944, the Joint entered Europe's liberated areas and organized a massive relief operation.

It provided food for Jewish survivors all over Europe, it supplied clothing, books and school supplies for children. It supported cultural amenities and brought religious supplies for the Jewish communities.

The Joint also operated DP camps, in which it organized retraining programs to help people learn trades that would enable them to earn a living, while its cultural and religious activities helped re- establish Jewish life. The Joint was also closely involved in helping Jews to emigrate from Europe and from Muslim countries.

The Joint was expelled from East Central Europe for decades during the Cold War and it has only come back to many of these countries after the fall of communism. Today the Joint provides social welfare programs for elderly Holocaust survivors and encourages Jewish renewal and communal development.

8 Party Schools

They were established after the Revolution of 1917 in Russia, in different levels, with the purpose of training communist cadres and activists. Subjects such as 'scientific socialism' (Marxist- Leninist Philosophy) and 'political economics' besides various other political disciplines were taught there. After WWII such institutions were established throughout the Soviet-dominated Eastern European countries.

9 Sofia Resident

In the years between 1944-1990 it was difficult to get a residence in the capital Sofia, as in accordance with the Bulgarian law at that time the resident ship was restricted, i.e. one could not change easily his place of living.

A man with no residence permit in Sofia was not allowed to live there permanently (only temporarily, being a university student, for example). After the political changes in 1989 these restrictions were removed.

10 Six-Day-War

The first strikes of the Six-Day-War happened on 5th June 1967 by the Israeli Air Force. The entire war only lasted 132 hours and 30 minutes. The fighting on the Egyptian side only lasted four days, while fighting on the Jordanian side lasted three.

Despite the short length of the war, this was one of the most dramatic and devastating wars ever fought between Israel and all of the Arab nations. This war resulted in a depression that lasted for many years after it ended.

The Six-Day-War increased tension between the Arab nations and the Western World because of the change in mentalities and political orientations of the Arab nations.

11 Yom Kippur War

The Arab-Israeli War of 1973, also known as the Yom Kippur War or the Ramadan War, was a war between Israel on one side and Egypt and Syria on the other side. It was the fourth major military confrontation between Israel and the Arab states.

The war lasted for three weeks: it started on 6th October 1973 and ended on 22nd October on the Syrian front and on 26th October on the Egyptian front.

12 Zhivkova, Ludmila (1942-1981)

daughter of the general secretary of the Bulgarian communist party, Todor Zhivkov and a founder of the international children assembly 'Flag of Peace'. In 1980 Zhivkov appointed her a chairwoman of the Commission on science, culture and art.

In this powerful position, she became extremely popular by promoting Bulgaria's separate national cultural heritage. She spent large sums of money in a highly visible campaign to support scholars, collect Bulgarian art, and sponsor cultural institutions.

Among her policies was closer cultural contact with the West; her most visible project was the spectacular national celebration of Bulgaria's 1,300th anniversary in 1981.

When Zhivkova died in 1981, relations with the West had already been chilled by the Afghanistan issue, but her brief administration of Bulgaria's official cultural life was a successful phase of her father's appeal to Bulgarian national tradition to bind the country together.

13 10th November 1989

After 35 years of rule, Communist Party leader Todor Zhivkov was replaced by hitherto Prime Minister Peter Mladenov who changed the Bulgarian Communist Party's name to Socialist Party.

On 17th November 1989 Mladenov became head of state, as successor of Zhivkov. Massive opposition demonstrations in Sofia (with hundreds of thousands participants) calling for democratic reforms followed from 18th November to December 1989.

On 7th December the 'Union of Democratic Forces' (SDS) was formed consisting of different political organizations and groups.

Iosif Gurevich

Iosif Gurevich
Uzhgorod
Ukraine
Interviewer: Ella Levitskaya
Date of interview: April 2003

Iosif Gurevich and his wife Ludmila live in a two-bedroom apartment in a five-storied 1970s building in a new district of Uzhgorod. They have a similar way of speaking and are both nice and friendly. Iosif and Ludmila make a wonderful couple. They are caring and loving partners. The first thing that attracts a visitor's attention in their apartment is the large number of books. Iosif has always been fond of reading. After he retired he got the opportunity to spend as much time reading as he wished. He collected books with a great fondness. There is a selection of books by contemporary writers in his collection. Iosif is a man of average height. There is something boyish and naughty in his eyes and smile. He has a wonderful sense of humor. When he was telling me stories about his childhood and about the provincial town, where he spent his childhood, I couldn't help laughing. Iosif has not left his home since his heart attack. He suffers a lot from lack of communication with the outer world. During the interview he had heartaches several times. I offered him to postpone the interview, but he refused. Iosif willingly spoke about his family. There are pictures of his family and his wife's family on the walls and the bookshelves. Iosif knows many poems by heart. He recited some to me.

My family background
Jewish life in Konotop
My mother
Growing up
Our religious life
My school years
The war begins
Post-war
Married life
Glossary

My family background

My father's family lived in a village, six kilometers from the small town of Konotop [in Sumy region, about 300 km from Kiev]. I don't remember the name of the village. It was an old Ukrainian village where several Jewish families lived. The Ukrainians were farmers and the Jews were tradesmen and craftsmen for the most part. There was no synagogue in the village. On Saturdays and Jewish holidays Jewish men went to the synagogue in a neighboring village, two kilometers from their home village. All Jews in the village observed Jewish traditions and followed the kashrut. There was also a shochet in the village. Both poor and rich families celebrated Sabbath and Jewish holidays. If a boy was born to a Jewish family all Jewish men came to the brit milah ritual on the 8th day. Boys had their bar mitzvah at the age of 13. Jews and Ukrainians got along well and helped each other. Every Jewish family had Ukrainian friends that came on Saturdays to light the lamp and stoke the stove. There were no pogroms 1 in the village.

My paternal grandfather Tevel Gurevich was born in this village in 1864. My grandmother Frida was born in 1865. I don't have any information about her place of birth or her maiden name. My father didn't tell me anything about his family.

My grandfather owned a mill before the Revolution of 1917 2. All members of the family worked at the mill. My father told me that it was a good source of income for the family. He didn't tell me anything about their house, however, and I've never been to the village where he lived. They were an ordinary Jewish family, did their business and lived according to all Jewish laws. They were religious, went to the synagogue, celebrated Jewish holidays and followed the kashrut. They spoke Yiddish at home. They were real Jews.

I remember Grandfather Tevel well. He was a tall broad-shouldered man with a beard and payes. He wore a black silk yarmulka at home and a hat outside. On weekdays he wore casual peasant's clothes. When he went to the synagogue on Sabbath and Jewish holidays he put on a long, black jacket. He was very strong, even in his old age. From what I remember he was never ill and never complained that he was tired or not feeling well.

My grandmother was a short, good-humored Jewish woman. She always had a nice smile and a kind word for other people. I remember her wearing long, dark clothes. On hot summer days she wore blouses with a high collar and long sleeves. She didn't wear a wig, but always had a kerchief on her head. Like all other women in Konotop, she went to the synagogue on Jewish holidays.

My grandmother gave birth to ten children. Only seven of them survived. The oldest, Shaya, was born in 1888. Then came two daughters: Esfir, born in 1891 and Bertha, born in 1893. Ilia followed in 1895 and Chaim was born in 1896. My father Samuel was born in 1898, and Iona, the youngest, followed in 1899.

All children had classes at home with a melamed. They learned to read and write in Hebrew and Yiddish, prayers, the Torah and the Talmud and Jewish traditions. All, except for Ilia, only finished two years at the Ukrainian elementary school in the village. My grandfather provided a better education for Ilia, though. Ilia finished a lower secondary school in Konotop and went on to studied in an accountant college. I was acquainted with all my father's brothers and sisters. They were nice and decent people. All sons worked at their father's mill, and the daughters helped my grandmother about the house.

After the Revolution of 1917 the Soviet authorities began to put a lot of pressure on my grandfather. He had to pay high taxes. The only reason why they didn't expropriate his mill was because he didn't hire employees. During the period of the NEP 3 the family business improved. This lasted until 1923 when the Soviet authorities did expropriate the mill. The family had nothing to live on any more. It was impossible to find a job in a small village, so they moved to Konotop, where it was easier to find work and support the family.

After moving to Konotop my father's older brother, Shaya, worked at the state-run grits facility. He was a tall and beautiful man. He had a Jewish wife and three children. When Shaya lived in Konotop he was religious. He observed Jewish traditions and went to the synagogue. Before the Great Patriotic War 4 his family moved to Moscow. Shaya couldn't go to the synagogue or celebrate Sabbath there. The Soviet authorities persecuted religion, although the constitution of the USSR stated that religion was each individual's private business. However, it was officially considered that religion was alien to Soviet people. Shaya and his family celebrated Jewish holidays at home. He died in Moscow in 1969. Shaya's grandchildren, my nephews and nieces, live in Moscow now.

My father's sister Esfir got married in Konotop. She and her husband moved to Leningrad. I don't remember her husband's name. Esfir had two children. She was a housewife. During the Great Patriotic War Esfir and her children were in the blockade of Leningrad 5. Her husband perished at the front and her children starved to death. Esfir was the only survivor. After the Great Patriotic War she moved to Moscow and lived with Shaya's family. Esfir died in 1970.

My father's sister Bertha was single. She lived with her parents in Konotop and helped my grandmother about the house. Bertha died in Konotop in 1971.

My father's brother Ilia was married and had a son called Ilia. He lived in Kursk with his family and worked as chief accountant at a big sugar factory. Ilia wasn't religious and didn't observe Jewish holidays. My uncle had tuberculosis which caused his untimely death. When I was 13 I went to a pioneer camp in a pinewood near Konotop where my father rented a house for Ilia. The air in pinewoods was good for him. Ilia stayed there the whole summer and then my father took him back to Kursk. Ilia died in 1938.

I have no information about Chaim. I only saw a picture of him. My father didn't tell me anything about him. I also know very little about my father's younger brother Iona. He was mentally ill. He died in a mental hospital in Kiev in 1939. My father went to his funeral in Kiev. Iona was buried in accordance with Jewish traditions in the Lukianovka Jewish cemetery 6 in Kiev. In 1960 this cemetery was destroyed and a TV tower was erected on the site. We got no notification and couldn't remove Iona's ashes to another cemetery.

Jewish life in Konotop

My grandparents on my mother's side came from Konotop. My grandfather, Arkadi Simonovski, was born in 1870. I don't remember my grandmother's name. I just know what my mother told me about her. My grandmother was born in 1871 and died in 1924, the year when I was born.

Konotop was a small patriarchal town. I remember the town from the time when I was a child. The population was 35-40,000 people. Konotop and its outskirts stretched for a distance of about 3 x 3 kilometers. There was a big railroad station, four kilometers from town, and a big military airfield and an aviation regiment. There was a small cinema in the main street, shops, a pharmacy and a fire brigade. We often went to the cinema where we listened to music in the hall before the screening of a movie. A violin, a grand piano and a saxophone player were in the foyer of the cinema. A circus came on tour to our town. It performed in the park. Our whole family went to see the circus.

In the evenings and on Saturdays and Sundays the residents of the town liked to go for a walk in Konotop. There were mainly one-storied houses and just a few two-storied ones in the center of the town. The Jews didn't have their own neighborhood; their houses were scattered among Ukrainian houses. There were Jewish doctors, teachers and lawyers. There were wealthy Jewish tradesmen during the NEP period. The majority of Jews were craftsmen and many worked at the plant. There were two big plants in Konotop: a big mechanic plant for the manufacturing of mining equipment and a locomotive repair plant at the railway station. At 7 o'clock in the morning the factory sirens woke up the town. There was also a siren at lunchtime and at the end of the working day.

There was a synagogue on the outskirts of Konotop, not far from our house. Once my father took me to the synagogue. It was a two-storied wooden house. There were also Torah scrolls there. I was surprised that women were sitting on the balcony. This was the only time I was at the synagogue. There was a cheder near the synagogue and a Jewish school. The cheder and school were small. The Soviet authorities persecuted religion. Fewer and fewer Jews sent their children to the cheder and the Jewish school. The language of teaching at higher educational institutions was Russian. Jewish parents wanted their children to have fewer problems in the future. If they studied in Jewish schools they had fluent Yiddish but poor Russian, which might have become a problem for their further studies.

There was no anti-Semitism and Ukrainian and Jewish families lived next to each other without having any conflicts. There was a shochet in town. The Jews bought chickens at the market and took them to the shochet. Poor Jews were deeply religious while wealthier people with education hardly ever observed Jewish traditions. My mother's family was like that.

My mother

Grandfather Arkadi owned a crockery store, which was expropriated. He became either a shop assistant or a commodity manager at another store, I don't exactly remember. All those events had their impact on my grandfather and he died at the end of 1925. My grandmother was a German teacher in a Russian grammar school for girls in Konotop. There were only male teachers at the grammar school for boys while there were many female teachers in the school for girls. My mother told me that they had male teachers in mathematics, drawing and religion for Christian children when she was in school. The rest of the teachers were women. After the Revolution of 1917 the grammar school was closed.

My grandparents had five children. The oldest, Riva, was born in 1898. The second one was my mother Elizaveta, born in 1900. Then came Nyunia, born in 1903. The fourth daughter was Rosalia, born in 1905 and the youngest, Sonia, followed in 1908.

My mother's parents weren't religious. They didn't even speak Yiddish at home. None of my mother's sisters knew Yiddish. They spoke fluent Russian. They didn't observe any Jewish traditions at home. I know for sure that they didn't celebrate Sabbath. I cannot say for sure whether they celebrated Jewish holidays or not, but I don't think they did. None of the daughters was religious. I knew all of them and my mother, who didn't observe Jewish traditions, wasn't an exception in her family. They were all raised that way.

My mother and her sisters received secular education. They finished Russian grammar school where they learned to play the piano and sing. Riva was the only one that continued her education. She moved to Kiev where she finished a college. Upon graduation she married a Russian man. After her marriage she finished another college. I don't know if she worked. She left her husband some time before the Great Patriotic War. He became a drunkard. They didn't have children. My father visited her in Kiev. That was before Riva divorced her husband. My father stayed there one day and returned home. He said that Riva suffered a lot from her husband's behavior. She stayed in Kiev and perished in Babi Yar 7 at the beginning of the war.

My mother's sister Nyunia lived in Konotop. She was married, but had no children. Nyunia worked as a typist at the Statistics Department. She was in evacuation in the Ural during the Great Patriotic War and returned to Konotop after the war. She died in Konotop in 1956. She was buried in the town cemetery.

My mother's younger sisters, Rosalia and Sonia, were very young when their parents died. When my mother got married she took them into our family. They lived with us until they got married. They married two Jewish brothers, Isaac and Evsey Shmerkins. Shortly after the wedding the two families moved to Priluki, a small town [about 150 km from Kiev]. The sisters were skilled typists and their husbands were qualified bakers. They were wealthy; our family wasn't. Before the war my mother and I visited them once. Our visit lasted three days. After my grandmother died my mother was like a mother to her sisters and they loved her dearly. They were very happy when we came to see them. They spoke about their life with my mother, tried to entertain and feed us well. When we were leaving they gave us presents and some money. After the Great Patriotic War both families settled down in Lvov. Rosalia had a daughter: Esfir. In 1991 Rosalia, her husband and daughter's family moved to Australia. She died in Australia in 1992. Sonia and her husband had a son, Arkadi, named after his grandfather. He finished Lvov Polytechnic College and got a job assignment to a heating power plant in Simferopol, Crimea. Sonia died in Lvov in 1985. After her death her husband moved to their son in Simferopol where he died in 1995.

Growing up

My parents met when my mother studied at grammar school. There were often balls arranged at their school. My father used to come to these parties in a horse-driven carriage. He was a handsome and well-dressed guy and managed to impress my mother, although they were different in many respects. There was a romantic story in my mother's life. During the Civil War 8, after the Revolution of 1917, Germans came to Ukraine. I guess this happened in 1919. A young German officer and my mother fell in love. He wanted to take her to Germany. When my mother's father heard about it he tied my mother to the table. The Germans left and my mother stayed in Konotop. Perhaps, my mother married my father to forget what had happened back then.

My parents got married in 1923. I don't think they had a traditional Jewish wedding. I believe they had a civil wedding. Well, at least my religious grandfather Tevel never once came to the house. Grandmother Frida often came to see us, but my grandfather didn't. I guess, he must have had a good reason for that.

My mother became a housewife after she got married. My father did badly paid manual work. My parents were poor. They rented a small 15-square-meter room in a one-storied house with two porches and entrance doors on the outskirts of town. There was a small river in this neighborhood where I liked to play when I was a child.

I was born on 11th March 1924 and I was named Iosif. My father insisted that I was circumcised in accordance with the Jewish traditions. My maternal grandfather Arkadi liked me a lot and was happy that there was a man in the family since he only had daughters. My mother told me that my grandfather never let go of me. Somehow there were no notes made at my birth, so my grandfather registered me in April 1925. Therefore, all my documents, including my birth certificate, state that I was born on 5th April 1925. Perhaps, my grandfather saved my life unintentionally because I was only recruited to the army at the very end of the war. My brother Arkadi was born on 11th March 1932. On the 8th day after his birth he had his brit milah. I remember that my grandfather Tevel came to our house and watched the process through the window. After the circumcision all attendants sat at the table where it had been carried out and had a meal. My grandfather was standing by the window and didn't come into the house.

Grandfather Tevel died in 1933 during the time of the famine in Ukraine 9. I remember his funeral. I was nine years old then. My father took me to the room where my grandfather was lying on the floor covered with a black blanket. The mirror was also covered with black cloth. My father and I left our shoes at the threshold and entered the room barefoot. There were relatives and neighbors in the room and the women were sobbing. My father didn't take me to the cemetery. My grandfather was buried in accordance with Jewish traditions in the Jewish cemetery in Konotop. My father recited the Kaddish. He couldn't sit shivah because he had to work.

Grandmother Frida always came to visit us on Jewish holidays. She gave my brother and me Chanukkah gelt on Chanukkah and brought hamantashen on Purim. She also visited us on ordinary days. My father's older brother Shaya took grandmother to his family after grandfather died. When he moved to Moscow with his family in the 1930s my grandmother refused to go and went to her daughter Esfir in Leningrad. My grandmother died during the blockade of Leningrad in 1941. She remained religious throughout her life. I know this from Uncle Shaya.

Soon after my brother was born we moved into a brick house for four families across the street from our old house. The Russian stove 10 was stoked with wood since coal was way too expensive. We didn't have much furniture: a table, my parents' bed with nickel-plated balls on four posts; I slept on a squeaky wooden bed and my brother Arkadi slept in his cradle. There were self-made rugs on the floor. My mother kept the room very tidy. She got very angry when my father didn't wash himself immediately after he came home from work. He didn't feel an urge to do so and that drove my mother mad.

My father was an ordinary man who grew up in a Ukrainian village. He had Ukrainian friends when he was young. He was kind and sociable. He didn't have any profession. All he knew was how to grind grain, which didn't require any intellectual efforts. He worked as a loader, joiner and mechanic. He was almost illiterate. My father wanted to go to a drivers' school, but failed at the exams because he had only studied at school for two years. My mother was different. She got a good education, liked to read and knew a lot about music. My father found it boring and unnecessary. However poor we were my mother tried to keep up with her standards. She made her own clothes. Even though she wore dresses made from cheap fabric or altered from old clothes they were always up-to-date. Her clothes were impeccably clean and ironed. My mother raised my brother and me while my father was always at work. My father liked drinking since his colleagues drank at work. He often came home drunk. Of course, my mother, my brother and I were very unhappy about it. He liked to dress up and have a stroll in the town. That's the kind of man he was, and, what could one do about it?

There was no running water in Konotop. We fetched water from a water pump about 400 meters from our house. I fetched water in buckets on a yoke. There was a period in the early 1930s when water was sold. Aunt Bertha and my grandmother were hired to sell water. There was a shed in the street with taps in front of it. My grandmother and Aunt Bertha were sitting inside the shed. A bucket of water cost 1 kopek. We used the water for cooking and minor washing. We went to the sauna to wash ourselves.

We bought food at the market. My mother had to work miracles to feed our family of four. We had all necessary clothes and enough food; the only time when we didn't have enough food was during the period of the famine in 1932- 33. My mother boiled potato peels and goosefoot grass then. Those were hard years. Many villagers traveled to towns looking for food and work. They were dying in hundreds. Several times a day a horse-driven cab drove across the town picking up corpses.

Our religious life

We only spoke Russian in our family. My father sometimes addressed my mother in Yiddish, but she always replied in Russian. I didn't learn any Yiddish. I wish I knew Yiddish. My mother wasn't religious. We didn't observe any Jewish traditions or celebrate holidays. My mother used to say, 'I don't need matzah. I'd rather have a dozen cakes'. My grandmother always brought us some matzah on Pesach. On Jewish holidays my father always went to his older brother Shaya where my grandmother lived. My mother didn't let my brother or me go there because she believed that we didn't need to be involved in those outdated celebrations.

My father had all religious accessories at home: tefillin, tallit and a prayer book. Early in the morning, before he went to work, he prayed. He never taught my brother or me how to pray. Perhaps, he didn't do it because my mother was against it. On holidays he went to the synagogue. Once my father took me to the synagogue. I remember something round-shaped in the middle and Jewish men going around this round-shaped something. [Editor's note: Iosif must be talking about the festival of Simchat Torah when the men walk around the bimah 7 times with the Torah scrolls in their hands. The round-shaped something is the bimah.] There were also Torah scrolls. I was surprised that women were sitting on the balcony. This was the only time I was at the synagogue. I wish I had been there more often.

The Orthodox synagogue and Orthodox Christian and Catholic churches were closed during the period of struggle against religion in the 1930s. This was happening all over Ukraine. I remember how bells were removed from cupolas. There was a crowd standing in front of the church shouting communist slogans. They looked like cheering each other. Then a few people from the crowd climbed ladders by the walls to the cupola of the church. It took them a while to throw a rope loop upon the top of the cross. They managed at last and again the crowd cheered. One end of the rope was thrown down and tied to a hook on a trailing line fixed on a truck. People got down, the engine started and the truck began to move slowly. The cupola and the cross fell down. The crowd was overwhelmed with joy, but this wasn't all. A few young men climbed the bell tower, ripped off a copper bell and dropped it onto the ground from the height of about 15 meters. The bell fell to the ground and broke. The crowd cheered again. A red flag was installed on the bell tower. We, boys, were cheering along with the crowd. Long afterwards I remembered what I didn't seem to notice back then: a bunch of old Christians standing aside, watching everything with an expression of horror. They crossed themselves, whispering prayers. Old men held their hats in their hands like they do at a funeral.

There was a kolkhoz 11 and a mill on the outskirts of town. Some time in 1938 my father became a miller. He was good at this job. He had earned little before, and in the kolkhoz he didn't get any salary at all. Only in the fall, when the crops were milled, did my father receive some grain and money. Collective farmers had no rights and didn't even have passports, but my father was an employee there. He built a shed and kept pigs in the yard of our house. We sold pork and ate it. We could afford to buy some clothes, and I remember, I also got a suit and white fabric shoes that I had to rub with chalk.

My school years

My aunt Bertha submitted my documents to the Jewish school in 1931. Since I hadn't reached the age of 7, according to my birth certificate, I wasn't admitted. The following year my mother took me to the Russian school. This was the only Russian school in Konotop; the rest of the schools were Ukrainian. Boys and girls studied together. There were about ten Jewish children among my 30 classmates.

I had many Jewish and Ukrainian friends. I didn't face any anti-Semitism, but I heard the word 'zhyd' [kike] from senior pupils. In my family we were raised to make no difference between nationalities.

I was fond of literature at school. We had a very nice teacher of Ukrainian and Russian literature. I read a lot and knew many poems by heart. I still read poetry and make notes if I like something in particular. I was a good pupil. I was also fond of history. I didn't really like mathematics that much. We didn't have any books at home except for textbooks. I borrowed books from the town library. I was very fond of sports, too. I went in for football, gymnastics and acrobatics. Physical culture was well developed at the time. There were skid-pans, bars and a football ground in every yard.

We celebrated Soviet holidays at home and at school. We celebrated 7th November [October Revolution Day] 12, 1st May, Lenin's birthday. There were parades and amateur concerts at school that my parents came to watch. My mother cooked something delicious. We didn't have guests since we were poor and besides, there wasn't enough space. Only relatives visited us occasionally. On 1st May we went to a forest by bus. We took food with us and arranged a picnic in a nice spot. We ate and sang Soviet songs such as 'For Motherland, For Stalin' and danced. I remember that the first toast was always to Stalin.

I became a pioneer at school and felt very honored. I had a red necktie and believed that everybody around was staring at me. In summer I went to a pioneer camp in the pinewood. We lived in wooden barracks. Every evening we made a pioneer fire and sang patriotic songs. We were told about the current situation and capitalist schemes. We were taught to be patriots of the Soviet Union. We played military games. In the evenings we sometimes had dancing parties. I danced with a girl for the first time in this camp. When I finished the 8th grade I joined the Komsomol 13, but there was not ceremony. Everybody was admitted and it was a common process.

The arrests that began in 1936 [during the so-called Great Terror] 14 didn't involve our family. My father was either a joiner or a loader and Soviet authorities weren't interested in him, although they sometimes did arrest workers like my father if somebody reported on them. I remember posters on the walls saying, 'Be watchful - an enemy is near!' Some of my classmates' parents were arrested, but their children continued their studies and nobody mentioned to them that they were children of 'enemies of the people'. I remember the 'Black Maria' driving in our street, and my parents sighing with relief whenever it passed by. [Editor's note: 'Black Maria' was the name for the dark vehicles of the NKVD 15 in which arrested people were driven off from their homes to their first interrogation. They were vans with small barred windows painted black.]

I watched all movies in the cinema before the Great Patriotic War. They were simple Soviet films like Tractor Drivers, Volga-Volga and If War Comes Tomorrow. My favorite film was The Great Waltz. It was miraculous: the music, actors and clothes - I admired it all. There was no theater in Konotop. There were radios that looked like big black plates on the walls in the houses.

The 8-year Jewish school in Konotop was closed in 1939. Many children came to study in our school. There were several of them in my class. It was difficult for them to study since they had very poor Russian.

The war begins

In 1939 we heard that Hitler had attacked Poland. We were taught at school that our army was the strongest in the world. It never occurred to anyone that Hitler would dare to attack the USSR. We weren't interested in the international situation at that time. This was the time when we experienced love and affection for the first time, and we were far from thinking about what was happening in the rest of the world.

22nd June 1941 was a Sunday. We were on vacation from school. I finished my 9th year at school and was planning to enter a college in Kiev. We thought that while on vacation I would go to my mother's sister Riva in Kiev to choose a college. That morning my mother went shopping and I was still sleeping. My mother came home without any goods and said that Germany had unleashed war on the USSR. We were patriots and believed Stalin and the Party. Stalin said that we would beat the enemy on his own territory. So, why worry? People believed that the war wouldn't last long. Nobody hurried to evacuate. Only two plants were evacuated from Konotop. Workers' families and equipment left on two trains. Then people began to evacuate.

My grandmother and Bertha went to Esfir in Leningrad. Thousands of refugees from Belarus moved through Konotop. There were Jews and Russians among them. There was also cattle evacuated, but we didn't even consider evacuation. After the war I got to know that the Germans shot 12 Jewish families in Konotop and the rest of the Jews managed to evacuate. My father worked until the last minute. I saw Bachmach, a town 25 kilometers from Konotop, being bombed. There was such a huge ball of fire that it could be seen in Konotop.

When my friend and I went to a bookstore to buy textbooks for the 10th grade, the Germans began to bomb Konotop. A German plane dropped a bomb that hit a fuel storage facility on the outskirts of town. Beams from the storage facility flew 100 meters up into the air. Then German planes attacked an airfield in Konotop and there was a battle between planes. The Germans were firing at our planes. They were small wooden planes while the German Messerschmidt fighter planes were armed. We watched it from the street. There were no people in the streets. I ran back home and asked my mother what we were going to do. She told me to go to my father, who was at work, and ask him.

There were many villagers that brought their grain to be ground. The farmers understood that the Germans were near and that they needed to have stocks of flour. I said to my father that we had to leave town immediately or we would all perish. My father and I went to the chairman of the kolkhoz to ask for a cart and horses. The chairman told my father to take all we needed. My father harnessed two horses into a cart and we rode home. On the way we went to pick up my mother's sister Nyunia. Her husband was a doctor and went to the front. My mother, my 8-year-old brother and Nyunia sat on the cart. My father reined the horses and I rode on my bicycle beside the cart. We rode 250 kilometers to Kursk. I don't remember how many days our trip lasted, but I don't think we covered more than 50 kilometers per day. When we were going past some town, Germans troops were landing, but we managed to escape. We didn't have any money. We only had some clothes. We stopped at a market to sell some clothes and buy some food. We were taken to the militia department. My father was charged of speculation, but we were released later.

What we saw on our way to Kursk was terrible: crowds of people on vehicles and carts running away. In Kursk we went to my father's brother Ilia, but he wasn't there. We were told that they had evacuated. We had evacuation papers for the town of Ruzaevka, in the Mordova Soviet Socialist Republic near the Volga River [about 700 km from Kursk], that we had obtained in Konotop and decided to head there. I don't remember how we got there. In Ruzaevka we were accommodated in the evacuation agency, which was the cultural center and stuffed with people. There were no chairs and people were sitting on their luggage. We got a meal: porridge. We were sent to a village that was also overcrowded. We returned to Ruzaevka and heard an announcement about a train going to Middle Asia and all those willing to move there had to come to the registration office. We decided to go because we didn't have any warm clothes with us and the climate in Middle Asia was warmer. The train we boarded was a train for cattle transportation. My aunt got in touch with her husband at the evacuation agency. His hospital was deployed in Tula region. She received an invitation letter from him and moved there.

The four of us went to Middle Asia. Our trip on that cattle train lasted 28 days. It was a very hard trip. There were lice and women cut their hair. It was dirty. There were no toilets. We arrived at Gorchakovo station in Fergana valley, 500 kilometers from Tashkent [Uzbekistan] and 3,500 km from home. We went to Margilan station. This was in October 1941. We were accommodated with an Uzbek family in a village. We lived upstairs in a booth of 2,5 x 2 meters. We had to find work. There was a cattle base at the station that bred and slaughtered cattle for the front. My father and I were laborers there. Later I found a job as a postman at the local post office where I worked for about two months.

I was a patriot and so were many other young people. I went to the military registry office and told them that I was born in 1924 and wanted to serve in the Air Force. Young people born in 1924 were to be recruited in 1942. I was sent for medical examination and was registered for military service. After a month I was sent to Kharkov Infantry School, deployed in Namangan. Although I went in for sports I had rheumatism. About 80 of us came to the school. There was another medical examination that I failed to pass due to my health condition. I returned to Margilan. Two weeks later I was ordered to come to the registry office again. There was a train full of recruits from the neighboring location. We were sent to the Far East. We arrived at Boretz Kuznetsov station in Primoriye [over 5,000 km from Margilan]. We were accommodated in huge storehouses where we stayed overnight. On the following day commanding officers from various military units came to 'buy' us for the infantry, tank units, Air Force and Navy. Three people - one officer and two first sergeants - 'bought' me. They argued and asked me about my education, until I was finally taken to the Pacific Navy. I served in the Navy in the Far East from 1942-1947. All this time I sent my requests to be taken to the front.

I came to the Navy in September 1942 when combat action near Stalingrad began. We were punished and put into the guardhouse for asking to go to the front. They asked us, 'Who's gonna stay here?' We got little food and had no warm clothes. It was cold in fall and winter and the only clothes we had were our uniforms. At the end of my guarding time I couldn't get downstairs because I was so cold. I joined the Communist Party in 1943. It was simple during the war: the soldiers submitted their application to the deputy political officer. There was a meeting on that same or the following day where they were admitted to the Party, even if they hadn't been candidates before. At that moment I believed that it was a duty of every decent man to be a member of the Communist Party.

I have bright memories of Victory Day 16, 9th May 1945, when we heard that Germany had capitulated and the war was over. Soldiers and officers hugged and greeted each other. There was a meeting and then a festive dinner. We were happy and thought about our plans for the future. However, the military men of the Pacific Navy had to postpone their plans for two years. When the war with Germany was over in 1945, the war with Japan 17 began. Our fleet took part in combat action. It was strange, but I didn't have any fear during the battles. I had a feeling deep inside - it's hard to describe it - that I was invulnerable. Fear came some time after a battle when we recalled our fellow comrades that had perished. I have a medal 'For Victory over Japan' and the orders 'Combat Red Banner, grade III' and 'For Courage'. I demobilized in 1947. Upon demobilization I received a diploma 'For Faultless Service in the Pacific Ocean Navy'.

I didn't face any anti-Semitism in the army. I lived with people of various nationalities for five years and we were friends. We were like a family. Basically there was no anti-Semitism before and during the Great Patriotic War. Besides, it seems to me that in extreme situations people have different values. What mattered was one's personality and not nationality. There were several Jews in the Navy. We were friends for a long time after the war. I had friends of various nationalities.

My first love was my classmate Nadia Volkova, born in 1925. She had a Jewish mother and a Russian father. Her mother was the director of a kindergarten in Konotop and her father was a doctor. During the war he worked in a big hospital. Nadia was a nice girl. I cared about her a lot. We went for walks on the outskirts of town after classes and kissed. At the beginning of the Great Patriotic War Nadia and her mother evacuated to Mordovia. From there she went to the Radio Operator School in Moscow in 1942. The school trained radio operators for partisan units. We corresponded. Nadia studied in Moscow for six months. When she finished this school I received her last letter, in which she wrote, 'We'll probably never see each other again'. This was true. Nadia was sent to the Kharkov partisan unit and perished. I don't know any details of her death. She was awarded the title of 'Hero of the Soviet Union' posthumously. There are photographs of all Heroes of the Soviet Union from the town at the railway station. There are about ten photographs and one of them shows Nadia in her field cap. She sent this picture to me in the Far East.

During my military service I hardly ever wrote letters to or received any from my family. Mail services were unreliable. Letters hardly ever reached their addressees. I knew that my father went to the army a month after I was recruited. He was a driver at the border with Iran. My father served there until the end of the war. My mother and Arkadi stayed in Margilan. At the end of 1942 my mother fell ill with enteric fever and died in hospital in December 1942. I can't imagine how my 10-year-old brother Arkadi survived. He worked at a kolkhoz until May 1945. After demobilization my father found him and took him back to Konotop. Other people lived in our room. My father didn't feel like telling them to move out and he found a small room where he lived with my brother.

My father went to work at the mill. My brother didn't go to school during the war and was too old to do so after the war. He went to study at a vocational school to become a tool joiner. After finishing this school he went to work at the tool shop at the Konotop plant of mining equipment. My brother enjoyed this work. He got more money than the engineers there.

Post-war

My father married an elderly Jewish woman whose husband had perished at the front. My father wasn't religious after the war. He and his wife celebrated Jewish holidays, but only formally. My father died in 1973. My brother and I buried him in the Jewish cemetery in Konotop in accordance with Jewish traditions. His second wife also passed away.

My brother married Rosalia, a Jewish girl from Konotop in 1956. They had a common civil ceremony in a registry office and a small wedding party for relatives and close friends in the evening. Their daughter Elizaveta, named after my mother, was born in 1957. Some time afterwards a big plant of electronic microscopes was built in Sumy and the chief engineer of the Konotop plant was appointed director of this plant. He asked my brother to work there. My brother and his family rented an apartment in Sumy and lived there until my brother received an apartment of his own. Their daughter got married and moved to Lvov with her husband. Her daughter Yana, my brother's granddaughter, was born in 1977. Elizaveta died in an accident in 1980. She was 23. She was buried in the cemetery in Konotop.

My brother and his wife moved to Konotop and raised their granddaughter. Arkadi, his wife and his granddaughter emigrated to Germany in 1990. They live in Dortmund. Yana got married and works. My brother and his wife are pensioners now. We correspond with them. I'm very concerned about my brother. His wife is very ill and doesn't have much time left. She needs to go to a mental hospital. If my brother loses her his life will be difficult. Apart from losing a close person, he will have language problems because he doesn't know German.

I wanted to continue my studies after my demobilization. I couldn't obtain permits to go to Moscow or Leningrad and didn't want to return to Konotop. In evacuation I had met a boy from Lvov, two years older than I. He had finished his first year at the Faculty of History at Lvov University. He told me a lot about Lvov. I corresponded with him and he suggested that I went to Lvov upon my demobilization. I obtained a permit to go to Lvov. I visited my father and brother in Konotop and went to Lvov.

My mother's sisters Rosalia and Sonia lived in Lvov. During the war they worked at a military hospital in Lvov and they stayed in this town after the war. I lived with Aunt Rosalia for about a month. I didn't have a profession but had to go to work. I could play volleyball and swim very well. I had been trained in the Navy. I got a job as a PE teacher at a vocational school. The management of this school sent me on a three months' course of advanced training at Lvov College of Physical Education. I was offered to enter this college, but I was thinking of some other profession than a PE teacher. I went to the Mechanics Department at the Food Industry Technical School. I became a 2nd-year student since I had finished nine years at secondary school. This technical school trained specialists for alcohol and yeast factories. Three years later I became a mechanical technician. I got a job assignment at an alcohol factory in Lvov region in 1950. I became chief mechanic and then chief engineer at this factory. I met my future wife, Ludmila Volosova, in Lvov. She came to work in Lvov upon her graduation from Odessa Food Industry Technical School.

Married life

My wife is Russian. She was born in Kazanka, Nikolaev region in 1922. Her father, Klimenti Volosov, was a farmer before 1917. They were a wealthy family and had a house, cows and horses. They had three children: Ludmila's older brother, who perished at the front, Ludmila and her younger sister Valentina. When the Soviet regime was established Ludmila's father was declared a kulak 18. The family was forced to leave their house. They destroyed their belongings. They had no place to go and lived under the threat of being sent into exile in Siberia. Ludmila's father had a distant relative in the district town. He was a manager in an office. He issued them some ID certificates - villagers had no passports - and they managed to go to Krivoy Rog. Nobody knew them there and it was easier for them to get lost in a bigger town. Her parents lived there all their life. Her father worked at a plant and her mother was a housewife. Her brother was recruited to the army when he was a 2nd-year student at a College. He served in the army two years and when it was his time to demobilize the Great Patriotic War began. He was in Belarus on the first days of the war and perished there. Ludmila's family was in evacuation in Tashkent. After the war they returned to Krivoy Rog. Ludmila entered the Production Faculty at Odessa Food Industry Technical School. After finishing this school she got a job assignment at a plant in Lvov where we met.

We got married within a month. My family didn't have any objections against me marrying a non-Jewish girl, and Ludmila's parents treated me like a son. We didn't have a wedding party. It was a hard and miserable time. We had a civil ceremony. In the summer we went to my relatives in Konotop on vacation, and then we visited Ludmila's parents in Krivoy Rog.

In 1953 the director of our trust offered to send me to the reconstruction of the alcohol plant in Uzhgorod. The plant was located in the suburbs of Uzhgorod. The director of this plant was recruited to the army and I was appointed director of the plant. We completed the reconstruction of the plant and I continued to work as its director. When the former director came back I stayed at the plant as chief mechanic. Uzhgorod was a small and pleasant town. It was much smaller than it is now. It was a quiet and clean town. People were calm and never in a rush. Subcarpathia 19 is a multinational region. There are Romanians, Hungarians, Czechs, Ukrainians, Moldavians, Russians and Jews. There were many Jews in town before the war. Many Jews perished in Subcarpathia during the Holocaust. They were taken to concentration camps in Germany.

There was no anti-Semitism in the area before the war. Other nationalities treated Jews with respect. They were only suspicious about those that came from the USSR. Subcarpathia joined the USSR after the Great Patriotic War as a result of the Yalta Conference 20. Teachers, engineers, doctors and other professionals came to Western Ukraine from Eastern Ukraine. Later, when the local population got an opportunity to study at universities, they expressed their negative attitude towards the 'eastern people' from the USSR. One could hear things like, 'Did you get an invitation to come here?'

We rented an apartment. Some time later all alcohol plants were closed due to lack of resources. My wife and I got job offers from other towns, but we didn't want to leave Uzhgorod. We got used to living there. I went to work at the design office for local industries. There were about 25 employees in this office. I began as an engineer and was promoted to chief engineer. Later I was appointed director of the design office. I graduated from the Extramural Heat Engineering Department of Lvov Polytechnic College as a professional heating engineer. A few years later I was called to the regional party committee that told me that I was appointed chief engineer of the Regional Department of Local Industries. I worked there until 1968. Then 'UkrNIIstromproject [scientific research institute of design and construction], an affiliate of Kiev Institute, was established in Uzhgorod. I became the director and worked there until I retired in 1985. My party membership was expressed through the payment of monthly fees and the attendance of party meetings. I didn't have any responsibilities as a party member and I wasn't eager to have any.

I don't remember much about the trials against the 'cosmopolitans [during the campaign against 'cosmopolitans'] 21 in 1948. They involved scientists and people in the arts. Of course, it was strange to read in newspapers that such honored people happened to be 'enemies of the people', but back then I believed it was true. When articles about doctors being poisoners [Doctors' Plot] 22 were published at the beginning of 1953, I had doubts they were true, but those were just doubts. Some people believed it so much that they refused to consult Jewish doctors.

In March 1953 Stalin died. My wife and I were at work at the alcohol plant. All employees got together in the hallway near a radio. All people were crying. My wife was the only one that had no tears for Stalin. She couldn't forget all the disasters that her family had to go through. Stalin was my idol. I grew up believing in his impeccability. I couldn't imagine life without him. I couldn't imagine what would happen to our country or to each of us.

When Khrushchev 23 denounced the cult of Stalin and spoke about his crimes at the Twentieth Party Congress 24 I couldn't believe it for a long time. It's hard to change one's ideology. I had to break with my inner beliefs to believe Khrushchev. Now I understand that Stalin brought many disasters to the country, but I also know that he achieved victory in the war. It's another question how he did that. Of course, there were frightening times: arrests, famine, Stalin's repression and camps... We didn't understand it at the time. In 1954, before the Twentieth Party Congress, I was on vacation in a recreation center in the Crimea. My neighbor was older than me. He was there with his family. He probably went through hardships himself. He told me that Stalin was a terrible tyrant, that he locked our country from the rest of the world. I argued with him stating that Stalin won the war and that if it hadn't been for him we would become slaves. I still think so. I accepted what was said at the Party Congress, but it took me some time to believe it.

We didn't celebrate any religious holidays at home. Both my wife and me were atheists and didn't feel the need of religion. We celebrated Soviet holidays and our birthdays. We had guests, danced, sang and enjoyed the good food. Our favorite holiday was Victory Day on 9th May. We had survived the war, lost our close people and felt like it was our personal holiday. Most of our friends were Jews that came from the USSR. It just happened so. We spent vacations with friends. Sometimes we went to the Crimea or the Carpathian mountains. On every vacation we visited my father, my brother and my wife's parents. My wife and I have lived a good life together. In 2000 we celebrated the 50th anniversary of our wedding. Unfortunately, we have no children.

In the 1970s Jews began to move to Israel. I didn't blame those people, but we never considered departure. I had a job that I liked and we have a lot of friends. I've never faced any anti-Semitism. Ukraine is my motherland. The history of Ukraine is as close to me as Jewish history. Besides, my wife isn't Jewish and I was afraid of prejudice towards her in Israel. Maybe I was wrong, but it's too late to think about it now. Many of my friends and acquaintances left in the 1970s or sometime later. We've been in touch. They have a good life in Israel. Some of them have passed away already.

In the middle of the 1980s perestroika 25, initiated by Mikhail Gorbachev 26, began in the USSR. I was enthusiastic about it and believed in it. The Iron Curtain 27, separating the Soviet Union from the rest of the world fell, and that was a good sign. I believed that things would keep improving. Unfortunately, life's not always as we want it to be. The good beginning didn't continue. Still, the main achievement of perestroika was glasnost [openness]. We lived under the Soviet regime for 70 years, a whole epoch in history. After the collapse of the USSR in 1991, the Communist Party of the USSR ceased to exist, and I automatically stopped being its member.

Ukraine is different now. It's hard to say how things will develop. The mentality of the people has to change. It's not that easy. Every individual must develop his personality now, while we were always taught that a person is nothing without a collective. Every individual must do his work honestly to have a positive effect. The attitude towards Jews has changed. I think there is no anti-Semitism on a state level. It happens in everyday life, but not as often as it used to happen, and is demonstrated by older people. Young people probably don't know what it is about. Young Jews have no problem entering a higher educational institution or getting a job. It's a person's skills that count and nationality doesn't matter. Jews can openly go to the synagogue and observe Jewish traditions. Young people are proud of their origin. I've seen many such examples among the children or grandchildren of my acquaintances. The Jewish way of life has revived. Young people get closer to religion and Jewish traditions. I think one can see more young people in synagogues nowadays.

Hesed was established in Uzhgorod in 1999. This organization does a lot to revive Jewish life. They also take care of old Jewish people. Unfortunately I'm in no condition to go to the synagogue or Hesed. I would be very interested to meet people and attend various activities. I like reading Jewish newspapers. Volunteers from Hesed bring them to me. I know more about Jewish traditions and holidays now. I wish I had been raised in a family where Yiddish was spoken. My wife and I have had heart attacks and my wife has also had a stroke. Hesed employees clean our apartment, do the laundry and bring food and medication. We have small pensions and this is a big support for us. We are very grateful to them.

Glossary

1 Pogroms in Ukraine

In the 1920s there were many anti-Semitic gangs in Ukraine. They killed Jews and burnt their houses, they robbed their houses, raped women and killed children.

2 Russian Revolution of 1917

Revolution in which the tsarist regime was overthrown in the Russian Empire and, under Lenin, was replaced by the Bolshevik rule. The two phases of the Revolution were: February Revolution, which came about due to food and fuel shortages during WWI, and during which the tsar abdicated and a provisional government took over. The second phase took place in the form of a coup led by Lenin in October/November (October Revolution) and saw the seizure of power by the Bolsheviks.

3 NEP

The so-called New Economic Policy of the Soviet authorities was launched by Lenin in 1921. It meant that private business was allowed on a small scale in order to save the country ruined by the Revolution of 1917 and the Russian Civil War. They allowed priority development of private capital and entrepreneurship. The NEP was gradually abandoned in the 1920s with the introduction of the planned economy.

4 Great Patriotic War

On 22nd June 1941 at 5 o'clock in the morning Nazi Germany attacked the Soviet Union without declaring war. This was the beginning of the so-called Great Patriotic War. The German blitzkrieg, known as Operation Barbarossa, nearly succeeded in breaking the Soviet Union in the months that followed. Caught unprepared, the Soviet forces lost whole armies and vast quantities of equipment to the German onslaught in the first weeks of the war. By November 1941 the German army had seized the Ukrainian Republic, besieged Leningrad, the Soviet Union's second largest city, and threatened Moscow itself. The war ended for the Soviet Union on 9th May 1945.

5 Blockade of Leningrad

On September 8, 1941 the Germans fully encircled Leningrad and its siege began. It lasted until January 27, 1944. The blockade meant incredible hardships and privations for the population of the town. Hundreds of thousands died from hunger, cold and diseases during the almost 900 days of the blockade.

6 Lukianovka Jewish cemetery

It was opened on the outskirts of Kiev in the late 1890s and functioned until 1941. Many monuments and tombs were destroyed during the German occupation of the town in 1941-1943. In 1961 the municipal authorities closed the cemetery and Jewish families had to rebury their relatives in the Jewish sections of a new city cemetery within half a year. A TV Center was built on the site of the former Lukianovka cemetery.

7 Babi Yar

Babi Yar is the site of the first mass shooting of Jews that was carried out openly by fascists. On 29th and 30th September 1941 33,771 Jews were shot there by a special SS unit and Ukrainian militia men. During the Nazi occupation of Kiev between 1941 and 1943 over a 100,000 people were killed in Babi Yar, most of whom were Jewish. The Germans tried in vain to efface the traces of the mass grave in August 1943 and the Soviet public learnt about mass murder after World War II.

8 Civil War (1918-1920)

The Civil War between the Reds (the Bolsheviks) and the Whites (the anti-Bolsheviks), which broke out in early 1918, ravaged Russia until 1920. The Whites represented all shades of anti- communist groups - Russian army units from World War I, led by anti- Bolshevik officers, by anti-Bolshevik volunteers and some Mensheviks and Social Revolutionaries. Several of their leaders favored setting up a military dictatorship, but few were outspoken tsarists. Atrocities were committed throughout the Civil War by both sides. The Civil War ended with Bolshevik military victory, thanks to the lack of cooperation among the various White commanders and to the reorganization of the Red forces after Trotsky became commissar for war. It was won, however, only at the price of immense sacrifice; by 1920 Russia was ruined and devastated. In 1920 industrial production was reduced to 14% and agriculture to 50% as compared to 1913.

9 Famine in Ukraine

In 1920 a deliberate famine was introduced in the Ukraine causing the death of millions of people. It was arranged in order to suppress those protesting peasants who did not want to join the collective farms. There was another dreadful deliberate famine in 1930-1934 in the Ukraine. The authorities took away the last food products from the peasants. People were dying in the streets, whole villages became deserted. The authorities arranged this specifically to suppress the rebellious peasants who did not want to accept Soviet power and join collective farms.

10 Russian stove

Big stone stove stoked with wood. They were usually built in a corner of the kitchen and served to heat the house and cook food. It had a bench that made a comfortable bed for children and adults in wintertime.

11 Kolkhoz

In the Soviet Union the policy of gradual and voluntary collectivization of agriculture was adopted in 1927 to encourage food production while freeing labor and capital for industrial development. In 1929, with only 4% of farms in kolkhozes, Stalin ordered the confiscation of peasants' land, tools, and animals; the kolkhoz replaced the family farm.

12 October Revolution Day

October 25 (according to the old calendar), 1917 went down in history as victory day for the Great October Socialist Revolution in Russia. This day is the most significant date in the history of the USSR. Today the anniversary is celebrated as 'Day of Accord and Reconciliation' on November 7.

13 Komsomol

Communist youth political organization created in 1918. The task of the Komsomol was to spread of the ideas of communism and involve the worker and peasant youth in building the Soviet Union. The Komsomol also aimed at giving a communist upbringing by involving the worker youth in the political struggle, supplemented by theoretical education. The Komsomol was more popular than the Communist Party because with its aim of education people could accept uninitiated young proletarians, whereas party members had to have at least a minimal political qualification.

14 Great Terror (1934-1938)

During the Great Terror, or Great Purges, which included the notorious show trials of Stalin's former Bolshevik opponents in 1936-1938 and reached its peak in 1937 and 1938, millions of innocent Soviet citizens were sent off to labor camps or killed in prison. The major targets of the Great Terror were communists. Over half of the people who were arrested were members of the party at the time of their arrest. The armed forces, the Communist Party, and the government in general were purged of all allegedly dissident persons; the victims were generally sentenced to death or to long terms of hard labor. Much of the purge was carried out in secret, and only a few cases were tried in public 'show trials'. By the time the terror subsided in 1939, Stalin had managed to bring both the Party and the public to a state of complete submission to his rule. Soviet society was so atomized and the people so fearful of reprisals that mass arrests were no longer necessary. Stalin ruled as absolute dictator of the Soviet Union until his death in March 1953.

15 NKVD

People's Committee of Internal Affairs; it took over from the GPU, the state security agency, in 1934.

16 Victory Day in Russia (9th May)

National holiday to commemorate the defeat of Nazi Germany and the end of World War II and honor the Soviets who died in the war.

17 War with Japan

In 1945 the war in Europe was over, but in the Far East Japan was still fighting against the anti-fascist coalition countries and China. The USSR declared war on Japan on 8 August 1945 and Japan signed the act of capitulation in September 1945.

18 Kulaks

In the Soviet Union the majority of wealthy peasants that refused to join collective farms and give their grain and property to Soviet power were called kulaks, declared enemies of the people and exterminated in the 1930s.

19 Subcarpathia (also known as Ruthenia, Russian and Ukrainian name Zakarpatie)

Region situated on the border of the Carpathian Mountains with the Middle Danube lowland. The regional capitals are Uzhhorod, Berehovo, Mukachevo, Khust. It belonged to the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy until World War I; and the Saint-Germain convention declared its annexation to Czechoslovakia in 1919. It is impossible to give exact historical statistics of the language and ethnic groups living in this geographical unit: the largest groups in the interwar period were Hungarians, Rusyns, Russians, Ukrainians, Czech and Slovaks. In addition there was also a considerable Jewish and Gypsy population. In accordance with the first Vienna Decision of 1938, the area of Subcarpathia mainly inhabited by Hungarians was ceded to Hungary. The rest of the region, was proclaimed a new state called Carpathian Ukraine in 1939, with Khust as its capital, but it only existed for four and a half months, and was occupied by Hungary in March 1939. Subcarpathia was taken over by Soviet troops and local guerrillas in 1944. In 1945, Czechoslovakia ceded the area to the USSR and it gained the name Carpatho-Ukraine. The region became part of the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic in 1945. When Ukraine became independent in 1991, the region became an administrative region under the name of Transcarpathia.

20 Reparation Aggreement at the Yalta Conference

British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, US President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and Soviet Premier Joseph Stalin met at Yalta, Crimea, USSR, in February 1945 to adopt a common policy. Most of the important decisions made remained secret until the end of World War II for military or political reasons. The main demand of the 'Big Three' was Germany's unconditional surrender. As part of the Yalta Conference an agreement was concluded, the main goal of which was to compensate Germany's war enemies, and to destroy Germany's war potential. The countries that received the most reparation were those that had borne the main burden of the war (i.e. the Soviet Union). The agreement contained the following: within two years, removal of all potential war-producing materials from German possession, annual deliveries of German goods for a designated amount of time, and the use of German labor. Fifty per cent of the twenty billion dollars that Germany had to pay in reparation damages was to go to the Soviet Union.

21 Campaign against 'cosmopolitans'

The campaign against 'cosmopolitans', i.e. Jews, was initiated in articles in the central organs of the Communist Party in 1949. The campaign was directed primarily at the Jewish intelligentsia and it was the first public attack on Soviet Jews as Jews. 'Cosmopolitans' writers were accused of hating the Russian people, of supporting Zionism, etc. Many Yiddish writers as well as the leaders of the Jewish Anti-Fascist Committee were arrested in November 1948 on charges that they maintained ties with Zionism and with American 'imperialism'. They were executed secretly in 1952. The anti-Semitic Doctors' Plot was launched in January 1953. A wave of anti-Semitism spread through the USSR. Jews were removed from their positions, and rumors of an imminent mass deportation of Jews to the eastern part of the USSR began to spread. Stalin's death in March 1953 put an end to the campaign against 'cosmopolitans'.

22 Doctors' Plot

The Doctors' Plot was an alleged conspiracy of a group of Moscow doctors to murder leading government and party officials. In January 1953, the Soviet press reported that nine doctors, six of whom were Jewish, had been arrested and confessed their guilt. As Stalin died in March 1953, the trial never took place. The official paper of the Party, the Pravda, later announced that the charges against the doctors were false and their confessions obtained by torture. This case was one of the worst anti-Semitic incidents during Stalin's reign. In his secret speech at the Twentieth Party Congress in 1956 Khrushchev stated that Stalin wanted to use the Plot to purge the top Soviet leadership.

23 Khrushchev, Nikita (1894-1971)

Soviet communist leader. After Stalin's death in 1953, he became first secretary of the Central Committee, in effect the head of the Communist Party of the USSR. In 1956, during the 20th Party Congress, Khrushchev took an unprecedented step and denounced Stalin and his methods. He was deposed as premier and party head in October 1964. In 1966 he was dropped from the Party's Central Committee.

24 Twentieth Party Congress

At the Twentieth Congress of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union in 1956 Khrushchev publicly debunked the cult of Stalin and lifted the veil of secrecy from what had happened in the USSR during Stalin's leadership.

25 Perestroika (Russian for restructuring)

Soviet economic and social policy of the late 1980s, associated with the name of Soviet politician Mikhail Gorbachev. The term designated the attempts to transform the stagnant, inefficient command economy of the Soviet Union into a decentralized, market-oriented economy. Industrial managers and local government and party officials were granted greater autonomy, and open elections were introduced in an attempt to democratize the Communist Party organization. By 1991, perestroika was declining and was soon eclipsed by the dissolution of the USSR.

26 Gorbachev, Mikhail (1931- )

Soviet political leader. Gorbachev joined the Communist Party in 1952 and gradually moved up in the party hierarchy. In 1970 he was elected to the Supreme Soviet of the USSR, where he remained until 1990. In 1980 he joined the politburo, and in 1985 he was appointed general secretary of the party. In 1986 he embarked on a comprehensive program of political, economic, and social liberalization under the slogans of glasnost (openness) and perestroika (restructuring). The government released political prisoners, allowed increased emigration, attacked corruption, and encouraged the critical reexamination of Soviet history. The Congress of People's Deputies, founded in 1989, voted to end the Communist Party's control over the government and elected Gorbachev executive president. Gorbachev dissolved the Communist Party and granted the Baltic states independence. Following the establishment of the Commonwealth of Independent States in 1991, he resigned as president. Since 1992, Gorbachev has headed international organizations.

27 Iron Curtain

A term popularized by Sir Winston Churchill in a speech in 1946. He used it to designate the Soviet Union's consolidation of its grip over Eastern Europe. The phrase denoted the separation of East and West during the Cold War, which placed the totalitarian states of the Soviet bloc behind an 'Iron Curtain'. The fall of the Iron Curtain corresponds to the period of perestroika in the former Soviet Union, the reunification of Germany, and the democratization of Eastern Europe beginning in the late 1980s and early 1990s.

Basia Gutnik

Basia Gutnik
Kiev
Ukraine
Interviewer: Zhmyr Oksana
 

My family background
Growing up
During the war
Post-war
My husband Vladimir
Our children
Glossary

My family background

My name is Basia Gutnik and I was born in Kiev in 1928.
My maternal grandfather told me that he and my grandmother
came to Kiev from Rakitnoye in 1909. Perhaps they were running away
from pogroms,1 but I don't know for sure. Mama was 5 years old
then. To obtain the right to reside in Kiev, they needed to have
their child study in the grammar school. Jews were only allowed to
reside in Podol2 - this was their residential area3. My
grandfather rented a house in Podol and my mother went to grammar
school. Almost everyone who lived in that house was Jewish. Only
the janitor was Russian. We also had one Russian and one Polish
neighbor.

The family was poor. My grandfather was the only family member
working, and my grandparents had three children to suppport. In
addition, both my grandmother's and grandfather's mothers were also
living with them. I don't remember when they died. Grandfather
managed to provide for his family and pay the rent. His name was
Aaron. He was born in 1880, I believe. He was an educated man. He
knew Hebrew and read the Torah. He worked as a cashier in a bank.
He was a very honest man. My grandmother said that whenever there
was a theft of money in his office, never was suspicion cast on my
grandfather. The idea that he could be a thief was simply
ridiculous. His colleagues would donate money in the amount that
had been stolen from him and return it to the bank.

While my grandfather was alive, the family observed the Jewish
traditions. I remember my mother's brother and sister and their
families visiting us at Pessach. We all assembled and my
grandfather put on his thales and said a prayer. We had matzoh and
wine. My mother's family celebrated many holidays, including the
Sabbath, but I remember only Pessach. My grandfather tried to raise
me as a Jew and told me about the Torah, but I don't remember what
he said. I was too young to take any interest in such subjects. In
the 1930s the practice of any religion, including the Judaism, was
eliminated from our country4. And my mother's parents realized
that their children might be at risk if they insisted on their
religiosity. So, nobody forced us to pray or to observe any of the
Jewish traditions. My grandfather died around 1936. The Jewish
ritual requires that one sit on the floor for six days, and that
the oldest family member read a prayer. My mother's brother,
however, didn't know anything about this ritual, and so my
grandmother and I went to an old man who did, and my grandmother
ordered a prayer. She herself sat on the floor near the tiled stove
for the six required days. My grandfather was buried at the Jewish
cemetery in Lukianovka. It was closed after the war. My mother's
sister Luba moved his grave to the Baikovoye cemetery where my
grandmother was buried.

My maternal grandmother, Sima, was born around 1884. My
grandmother had a great sense of humor. When I asked her about
pogroms, she used to say "Well, the pogroms... they robbed and beat
people... especially Petlura gangs5. But life went on and we had
to go on with our life." I must explain here that the worst curse
one can make in Podol is to call someone a "petlurovets". My
grandmother could write Russian very well. As for her religiosity,
while my grandfather was alive she observed all the traditions
assigned by the Torah. After he died, she occasionally went to the
synagogue. She had no profession. She was a housewife and looked
after her husband and children devotedly. After her husband died,
she dedicated all her time to her children and grandchildren.

My grandmother had three children: my mother, Luba and Matvey.
Matvey was born in 1908. He was very handsome. He finished grammar
school and then received further education at the Kiev Polytechnic
Institute. It was difficult to gain admission into this Institute
in the 1920s. Only the children of workers and peasants could be
admitted. My grandfather was a clerk. The husband of my
grandfather's sister was a veteran of the Great October Socialist
Revolution. He and some Party official helped my grandfather to
obtain a certificate stating that he had participated in the
October Revolution. With this certificate, Matvey was able to study
at the Institute, and he graduated from it very successfully. He
got a job assignment as a shift engineer at the KPP6 and married
a very nice woman named Anian. They led an ordinary life, went to
the cinema and to the theater, and celebrated the Soviet holidays.
When the Great Patriotic War began in 1941 ?.) and the Germans were
approaching Kiev, Matvey evacuated his family, his sister, her baby
and his mother. He remained in Kiev to blast boilers at the KPP.
They completed their task and were going in the direction of the
front when they bumped into German military. The Germans let the
other workers go, but shot Matvey because he was a Jew.

Matvey had two sons. Matvey's eldest son, Rudolf, followed in
his father's footsteps by studying at the Polytechnic Institute.
His grandmother's name was Riva-Gisia, and Rudolf received his name
in her memory: the first letter of their names is the same - such
was the tradition. After the war, Rudolf worked at the heating plat
in the Solomenka district of Kiev. He died of a heart attack when
he was 60.

Matvey's second son, Valentin, was born fatherless. Matvey's
wife, Ania, was in the last moth of her pregnancy when the war
began. Valentin never knew his father. While my aunt was alive we
got along well.

Aunt Luba was born in 1907. She studied at grammar school and
then at the Ukrainian secondary school. She couldn't enjoy her
youth because of the civil war and the devastation which followed
(1917 - 1921). After finishing school she entered Kiev's
Pharmaceutics Institute and then worked at the pharmaceutics
factory. She married in 1933. Her husband's name was Alexandr
Morozov. He was Russian and a very decent man. He came from the
Crimea and was educated at the Kiev Construction Institute, but he
didn't have an apartment, so he rented an apartment from my
grandmother. Before the war, he worked as a construction engineer
in Kiev. In 1934 their son Mara was born. Alexandr was the first to
go to war. On 22 June7 the war began, and he was summoned on 24
June. Luba and all the other tenants of our house went to see him
off to the recruitment office. We heard later that in a few weeks a
splinter hit him on the breast, on the left side, and lodged
underneath his heart. At that time doctors didn't perform surgeries
on the heart and, besides, the splinter was too close to the heart
to be operated on. Alexandr became an invalid. He was treated in a
hospital in the Middle East and then returned to Kiev. He lived
with this splinter in his breast until 1972.
At that time they didn't perform surgeries on the heart
and, besides, the splinter was too close to the heart. Alexandr was
invalid of the 1st grade. He was in hospital in the Middle East and
then he returned to Kiev.

In the summer of 1941 Matvey was supposed to send his family
along with other KPP employees' families on a barge. He sent his
wife and children, and my grandmother was supposed to go with them
while Aunt Luba and her son were to wait for the next barge. But
grandmother refused to go without her daughter. Later, Matvey sent
Luba and Mara and my grandmother to the village of Georgievskoye,
where Luba's husband picked them up and took them to Kokand where
he was staying in the hospital. They all stayed in Kokand until
after the war. Luba worked as a pharmacist in the pharmacy at the
Zaitsev hospital. At first, her family rented an apartment in Lenin
Street, then for a while moved in with us. Then, finally, Alexandr
received an apartment. The address was No. 2, Andreevskiy spusk.

After his father died Luba's son changed her apartment to
the one that was near his house. Aunt Luba's family did not celebrate
religious holidays. Like many other Soviet citizens, they had
parties or went to the cinema. Mara graduated from a Ukrainian
secondary school and then studied at the Geology College.
Afterwards, Mara worked for a year, but realized that his job
wasn't quite what he wanted to do - he liked having comforts in
life. He married a Russian girl whose parents were opposed to her
marriage with a Jew. Before long, they separated. Mara was working
at the Kremechug hydropower plant where met his future wife, a
Jewish girl twelve years his junior. They have two children. In
1996 they emigrated to Germany, although Mara had a good life here
in Kiev. He had his own business and good business contacts in
Kiev. He was known for his decent personality and expertise. I
asked him why he was leaving Kiev. He said his children wanted to
go. He visited Kiev in 1998.... He misses Kiev a lot.

My mother Hana Tabachnik was born in Rakitnoye in 1904. At the
age of five she attended the grammar school in Kiev, but she didn't
understand a wordk of Russian. (Tthere were only Russian grammar
schools in Tsarist Russia, but her family only. spoke Yiddish. She
had a music teacher who came to her home to teach her. My
grandmother was so proud of this. Besides the music teacher, an
Italian teacher also came to give her lessons in how to use her
voice - she could sing well, but was too shy to sing in public.
When my parents were children, they lived in the same street, and
of course, they met. My mother was very pretty and my father was
quite handsome. They were a beautiful couple. Both were 21 when
they married in 1926. My mother told me that they had a Jewish
wedding with the huppah in the bridegroom's yard. Frania, my
father's sister, said to her mother that this was the last Jewish
wedding they would be having, and that her mother would not arrange
anything like that for her. I've also seen once how they installed
the huppah. We had a butcher in the yard and his daughter was
getting married. All the village people came out to look - it was a
big rarity in the 1930s. They installed a tent on four beams in the
middle of the row, and the bride and bridegroom went there and
prayed. Mama and Papa were also wed in this manner.

My father's parents came from Radomyshl. I don't know why they
moved to Kiev. My grandmother Revekka was born in 1885 and my
grandfather Iosif was born in 1882. My paternal grandparents spoke
fluent Yiddish and Russian. My grandfather's name was Iosif-Alter.
My paternal grandmother explained to me that when children died
their parents gave a second name to the surviving child so that the
next one wouldn't die. My grandparents were married in Radomyshl,
Ukraine, when about their lives many times, but they wouldn't
tell me anything. In Kiev my grandfather rented a room in Podol and
they lived there until the end of their lives. My grandfather was a
railroad forwarder in Radomyshl. He worked very hard. They married
on 7 January on the Russian Orthodox Christmas, because it was an
official holiday and my grandparents thought it was good to have
their wedding celebration on this date. I don't know the year of
their marriage, but I remember that they celebrated the 35th
wedding anniversary before the war. My grandmother was moderately
religious and observed some of the Jewish traditions. She was
careful about having separate dishes for dairy and meat products.
My grandfather, however, didn't believe in God. He just loved fried
fat, and my grandmother was very concerned that nobody else should
use the same frying pan, especially the children, and she always
pushed this frying pan to the farthest corner of the stove. Their
children grew up to be atheists.

My grandmother was a heroic woman. She was a support to
her whole family. Whenever they received food during WWII, she
would divide it equally among each member of the family. When there
was sugar she would give everyone their share and keep none for
herself. If one asked, "How about you?" she would answer, "I don't
like sugar." She was a very handy cook. She could make cutlets from
potato peels or flat bread from sunflower waste. Frania told me
that when my grandfather lost his job he was so upset that he kept
repeating in panic, "What do I do now? What do I do," but my
grandmother didn't say anything - she just got some clothes
together to take to the village to exchange for food, walking there
with her older son. And the rest of her family just sat and waited
for her. She could adjust to any circumstance. And she never knew a
life of plenty. Such was her destiny. My grandmother died in 1951.
(Photo3) My aunts told me that when she lay dying, until her last
moments her eyes were gazing at the portraits of her sons. My
grandfather died in Charjou during the evacuation in ? 1942 and
was buried there.

My grandmother had five children. Grigory, my father, was the
oldest, born on 4 October 1904. He died in 1944. Debora (1907 -
1981), Fania (1909 - 1961), Maria (1911 - 1999), and Yan (1913 -
1941) followed.

The oldest daughter, Debora Gutnik, and my father were close
friends as well as siblings. He often wrote her letters... when
they were away from one another, even when he was at the front
during the war. She studied at grammar school in Podol, and in 1931
she and Luba -- they were friends -- graduated from the Kiev
Pharmaceutics Institute. They worked together for some time as
shift chemists at the Lomonosov plant at Kurenyovkar. Debora met
her future husband, a Ukrainian named Leonid, in Kanev. She got a
job assignment there as director of the sanitary and
epidemiological facility. He was a high official, and when mass
arrests began8, he ... ran away from Kharkov to Kanev and worked
there as a turner. He was already married. Debora soon had a son.
It was a scandalous situation for its time. They were living
together when we arrived in Kharkov in 1941. Leonid's wife had died
before that time- she had been ill. In 1942 Debora came to Maria in
Minusinsk with her son, and in 1943 she moved to Kalinin - her
husband had a job there with the hospital since the beginning of
the war. Debora got a position as Deputy Director of the hospital
pharmacy. Debora's family travelled from one town to another along
with the hospital. In 1944 her daughter was born in Rzhev. They
were at Daugavpils, Latvia, at the end of the war. In the spring of
1945, Debora returned to Kiev with her family. Her husband got a
job as a turner at the "Geophyspribor" plant, and Debora went to
work as a pharmacist at the pharmacy. My aunt loved to read
Russian, Ukrainian, and foreign literature. She sang beautifully
and played the piano. She had three myocardial infarctions and led
a very quiet life. She rarely went to the theater, although she
loved it when she was young. Her husband died in December 1958 at
the age of 63. They never observed any Jewish traditions or
celebrated religious holidays. Debora could understand and speak
Yiddish very well, but with her family she spoke Ukrainian and
Russian. Her son Vladimir was educated at the Vassilkov Pilot
School as a mechanic, and her daughter Yanina graduated from thee
Kiev Medical School and became a lab assistant. Debora died in
September 1981.

Another of my father'sisters, Frania Gutnik, who was born in
1909, must have studied at the secondary school, but I don't know
for sure. After school, she took a course in typing. She was
unhappy in her love life. She dated someone in the 1920s, but I
know no details. They say she even had an abortion and that her
lover then married a rich girl. Frania never married. She worked as
a typist before the war at the Vehicle Yard in Kiev. During the
evacuation she worked at a Soviet farm, excavated trenches, and was
involved in the construction of fortifications. When we were in
Inozemtsevo in the Caucasus, Frania went to the front with the
SMERSH units9. She had an affair with a married man at the front,
but terminated their relationships after the war. She didn't want
to destroy his family. The war was still going on when Frania
returned to Kiev and began to work as a typist at the prosecutor
office. She lived with her mother and her sister Debora's family.
There was a horrible famine after the war in 1946-48. There were
endless lines for flour and sometimes people had to stand there for
a whole day. Frania gave everything that she received through her
food ration cards to her mother, sister and nephews. My grandmother
used to exchange something from the package for bread. Frania
suffered a lot when her mother died. But she was a very sociable
person - she always had guests and parties where she and her
friends danced and sang Ukrainian and Soviet songs. She was an
atheist. She dedicated the rest of her life to her sisters'
families. She died from a heart attack in 1961.

Maria Gutnik, my father's younger sister, finished secondary
school in Kiev and met a handsome Jewish young man named Semyon
Kanevskiy who came from Kiev. He worked at the mill like everybody
else in his family. I don't know anything about his parents. Maria
married him in 1932, right when the Podol was flooded. They didn't
have a wedding party, but they sailed to the registry office on a
boat. Semyon went into the army. He completed 7 years of school. He
was goal-oriented and hard working, and he managed to graduate from
the Political Academy in Leningrad. He took part in the Finnish and
Great Patriotic War holding the position of Commissar of a
regiment. After the war, he served in Brest and Kurily. They
returned to Kiev in 1952 and he worked at the Otradny village as a
medical tutor at the military medical school. He retired in the
1970s with the rank of Colonel. He died in 1986. Maria was a very
kind person and she always tried to make everyone feel comfortable.
She worked at the military hospital in Essentuki for a short time,
as a supervisor of a shop in Minusinsk at the Stavropol Theater,
and then was a housewife and followed her husband in his constant
moving around. They didn't observe any Jewish traditions or
celebrate Jewish holidays. They often spoke Yiddish to one another.
They had many friends. Nationality didn't matter to them, and there
were always many people in their apartment on Soviet holidays
getting together to party. Maria had one daughter, Tatiana, who was
born in 1946. She graduated from the Medical School in Kiev.

My father's brother Yan Gutnik (1913 - 1941) graduated from
the rabfak10 , or trade school,) and gained admission to the
Institute of Light Industry. He was single. Yan's co-students used
to get together at our home, my maternal grandfather's place. They
had disputes and discussions and discussed books they had read and
performances they had attended. Sometimes they worked as a troupe
at the Jewish theater, in a building which is now the Brodsky
synagogue. One of Yan's friends was Russian and didn't understand a
word of Yiddish. Yan and a few other young Jewish men taught him a
few words and he shouted them out with everybody else, though he
didn't know what they meant. We were poor, but we had a rich
spiritual life.

Yan went into the army in 1939, along with his co-students.
Their mothers were all missing them and crying after them, but my
grandmother said "Well, what are you crying about? There's no war.
They will serve their term and come back!" But, unfortunately, the
war began when it was time for him to demobilize. I believe he
perished somewhere in the vicinity of Viasma. We received only one
letter from him when during the evacuation. All our neighbors cried
as they read his letter. We were told about it when we returned
after the war. Yan perished in 1941, and we don't know where he was
buried.

Growing up

My father, who was born in 1904, studied at a commercial
school and worked at various places. After their wedding in 1926,
he and mama lived with my maternal grandparents. I was born in
1928. I was the only child in the family. I finished my first year
in the Jewish school at Podol. I was almost 8 years old when I went
to school, but my parents said they would take me back home if I
couldn't cope there. After a year at the Jewish school, I attended
the Ukrainian school which was located directly across the street
from our home. My aunts and uncle and my father's parents lived
within a half block of the school. So after classes I faced a
dilemma about where to go. I liked to go to my aunts' place. I
liked to listen to their discussions about books and performances.
I went to the theater rather often. The Cinema Theater "Oktiabr," a
very posh cinema, was built before the war. My friends and I went
there almost every day. I finished the 7th grade right before the
war. We lived in a four room apartment. My grandmother occupied one
room, my parents and I another. Mara and his mother lived in one
room and the fourth room was a living room. Our family always got
together for dinner. In our room we had two beds. My parents' bed
was nickel-plated. There was a table in the middle of the room and
a huge rubber plant beside it. After my grandfather, died I moved
into my grandmother's room. The furniture included an old leather
sofa, an antique cupboard, a red piano--my mother played the piano--
and my grandmother's bed. There was also a very beautiful tiled
stove. We liked to celebrate the New Year. In 1936 Stalin allowed
Soviet citizens to have New Year trees. My paternal grandmother
used to make all the decorations herself, and my maternal
grandmother always admired how handy she was.

During the famine11 of 1933, Papa worked at the creamery. He
used to bring us butter, soap and sunflower seed husk to burn in
the stove. We exchanged the soap and butter for bread and flour.
Mama didn't work outside the home. She didn't have a profession.
She was a homemaker and a good wife to her husband. At the age of
30 she was diagnosed by doctors as suffering from heart disease.

Papa was a very devoted son. He used to visit his parents
every day. He also supported them. He gave money to my grandmother
to go to Essentuki to cure her liver. Once, grandfather was in a
car accident and was taken to the hospital. When the doctor asked
him whether he needed crutches, he pointed to his sons and replied
proudly "Here are my crutches, one son and another". He was very
proud of his sons. My father and his wife lived with his wife's
parents, and since her father was religious, they observed all the
Jewish traditions and celebrated holidays. But my father didn't do
this due to religious convictions, but in order not hurt his father-
in-law's feelings. He loved to read, and read fiction, scientific
and philosophical literature, and discussed it with his brother and
sisters. My parents and I celebrated the Soviet holidays - on the
1st of May we attended the parade and then went into the woods.

During the war

When the war began my father was not subject to recruitment.
He went to build fortifications in the outskirts of Kiev. When the
Germans were close, he returned home. Frania was working at the
vehicle storage yard. All vehicles were to be mobilized for use by
the army and moved to Kharkov. Frania was allowed to take her
family there. My grandmother was in poor physical condition then
and refused to leave. My grandfather said that the Germans were
decent people and wouldn't do them any harm. Frania said that even
so, she was still going to take them away. We put my grandmother on
a stretcher, loaded it onto a truck, and left: Mama, Papa and I, my
grandparents, Frania, Debora and her son.

Debora's future husband lived in Kharkov in a room in a
communal apartment. We stayed with him, sleeping on the floor.
There were evacuation points in all the large towns and we went
there. Mama, Papa and I and my grandparents were sent to the Soviet
farm "Gorky" in the Kharkov region. Debora and her son stayed in
Kharkov. We lived in a big room that had a stove. We shared this
room with two drivers and their families. They all went to work and
I stayed with my grandmother - by that time her health was
improving. The drivers, Papa and Frania went to work on the
fortifications near Kharkov. Once, when they returned at night, I
heard Papa telling my grandmother to start a fire in the stove so
they could burn their clothes, which were full of lice, and to heat
some water to wash themselves. They also said that the family had
to leave Kharkov. The drivers' wives and their children returned to
Kiev. The drivers went into the army. We went to Aunt Maria's -
Papa's younger sister - in Essentuki. But we were not allowed to
stay in Essentuki, and had to go to Inozemtsevo nearby. We rented a
room and lived there for several months. In 1941 Papa got a job at
a military plant. Then he said he was ashamed to be in the rear any
longer. In 1942 he received a subpoena to appear at the recruitment
office in Mineralniye Vody. Maria and I went to see him off. Mama
and grandmother were hysterical and stayed at home. Papa perished
in Poland in 1944. As for Yan, nobody heard from him for quite a
while.

The four of us, Mama, my grandparents and I stayed in
Inozemtsevo. One day somebody told us that there were no
authorities left in the town, so we packed our backpacks and
prepared to leave. We wanted to go to Aunt Maria in Essentuki. All
around us there was panic and crowds. The patients from the
hospital were walking past our house. The patients caught some
horses and found carts. We threw our luggage onto these carts and
moved on. We spent the nights in the open air and dug up vegetables
from gardens to make something to eat. In this way we reached
Nalchik. The situation there was panicky as well, and we were told
to continue on to Ordjonikidze. When we reached Ordjonikidze the
authorities there summoned whomever possible into the army. The
rest of us boarded the trains heading for Middle Asia. My
grandfather fell ill on the way. His legs swelled up. We reached
Charjou, where we met acquaintances from Kiev. They told us to stay
there. My grandfather had contracted spotted fever. He died within
a month. But how were we supposed to bury him? The Uzbek people do
not have the tradition of burying people in coffins. Mama went to
the factory and explained that grandfather had two sons on the
front. The director of the factory felt sorry for us and gave an
order to make a coffin. But the Uzbek people did not want to carry
this coffin to the cemetery, so Mama and I tried to carry it
ourselves, and somebody helped us along the way. Before he died,
grandfather recalled his sons shouting, "The second front! The
second front!" He was probably hoping that the Americans would open
up a second front and defeat the fascists, so that his son would
return home. We buried my grandfather and our acquaintances from
Kiev even installed a monument on his grave. Mama and I went to
stay with my aunt Luba and my mother's mother in Kokand. But my
mother was suffering from the climate and spent most of the time in
the hospital, all swollen. As soon as she got better, she and I
went to stay with Papa's sisters. Mama got a job there, but I don't
remember what it was. When we got to Stavropol, Mama got a job as a
clerk in the hotel. My paternal grandmother went to stay with
Debora in Minusinsk.

We lived in Kokand for some time and I even went to study
there at the Geological College. In 1943 Mama and I went to
Minusinsk. Maria and Debora were living there. Then the Germans
began to retreat, and the Stavropol Theater moved back to
Stavropol, and we went along with it. Vera and her family stayed in
Minusinsk. Our trip to Stavropol took two weeks and we got lice.
Upon arrival we found accommodation at the hostel of the Stavropol
Theater. The front was nearby and Frania visited us to help us a
little. She used to bring us food. In Stavropol I attended the 9th
grade of the Russian secondary school. In 1943 Kiev was liberated.
We ran to the evacuation point to get permission to go home, but
they wouldn't give it to us. We stayed in Stavropol for another
year.

In 1944 we were allowed to return to Kiev. Neither our
apartment nor my grandmother's was available. Luba and her husband
received an apartment in Lenin Street. There was a public toilet
underneath. Luba and her husband, Mara, my grandmother, Mama, Maria
and I moved in there. We had to go to court to get back my maternal
grandparents' apartment. There were two Russian women and their
families living there. The decision of the court was positive for
our room and my Aunt's room, but we didn't get back my
grandmother's apartment. When we moved back into our rooms in the
apartment those women who were living there ran into the street
screaming, "Help! Zhydy are throwing us out of our apartment!" and
all the invalids attacked us. It was a nightmare.

Post-war

One day after the war my two grandmothers went to the only
functioning synagogue in Kiev on Yom Kippur. It was a memorable
visit. The people there mourned for the deceased and those
exterminated in the Babi Yar12, and people were fainting and
screaming. I said, "Why did you go? What did your God give you?
One of you lost one son, and the other lost two!" Grandmother Sima
replied, "Well, you know, at our age we need to have faith and go
to the synagogue."

Mama got a job at the "Metiz" plant in Kiev which made metal
products. She was a laborer and then got promoted to the department
of ready-made products. I remember she brought home defective
spoons and my grandmother sold them to buy some food at the market.
Later, Mama got a job as a night nurse at the kindergarten.

My husband Vladimir

In 1946 I visited my aunt Maria in Brest, Belarus. My mother
and grandmother stayed in Kiev. I got a job at the pharmaceutics
agency in Brest. I also took a course in English and met my future
husband Vladimir Fadeev there. He was attending an evening school
at the House of Officers. We were meeting at dancing parties,
because the only entertainment in Brest was theater and dancing. We
decided to get married.

Vladimir was Russian and was born in Kiev in 1925 He graduated
from secondary school. His father Ivan --I don't remember any
details of his biography-- worked at a military plant and his wife
was a housewife. Vladimir had a brother named Leonid, who was born
in 1939. Vladimir was like any other boy in his childhood. He went
swimming in the Dnieper River, was fond of the cinema, and was not
particularly fond of reading. He finished the 9th grade before the
war. After the war began, all teenagers and men not subject to
recruitment were taken away from Kiev. I saw them marching when we
were on our way to Kharkov. The men were taken outside Kiev and
told to go anywhere but Kiev. Vladimir decided to go back to look
for his parents, and was captured by the Germans on the way back,
along with some other boys. The Germans gave the order to take them
to Bucha and shoot them. But on the way, the German guard stopped
the truck and told them to get out of his sight. Vladimir ran to
his home, but there was nobody there - his parents and his younger
brother had been evacuated to Gorky. Vladimir got to Gorky on a
flat railcar. When he arrived, he found the house where the
evacuated were staying. His father was a janitor there, but he
didn't recognize his son - he was dirty and lice ridden. Vladimir
stayed with his parents and worked at the mine factory in Sormovo.
He stayed there every night, coming rarely to Gorky. When he did
visit, he brought an additional rationed food package for his
brother. When it was time for him to go into the army, the
management wouldn't let him go. After the war, he gained admission
into the Communications Department of Murom Military College. After
graduating in 1947, he got a job assignment in Brest. He wanted to
continue his studies and attended the Brest evening school at the
House of Officers. The Military College curriculum was the
equivalent of eight years in secondary school, and he needed ten to
gain admittance to the higher military college.

When I wrote mama to tell her that I was going to get married.
I didn't ask her consent. I guess she was opposed to my marrying a
Russian, but later she grew to like him very much. He was very
charming and kind. By the way, my Aunt Maria and her husband did
not oppose my choice. Mama came on a visit to meet him. She
couldn't give me any dowry. She brought me a housecoat made out of
parachute silk hand-painted by one of her acquaintances. This was
in 1947, and we married on 5 May 1948. We just had a civil
registration ceremony and then my husband had to leave for his
military unit. I went on business trip to inspect a pharmacy near
his regiment and he showed me where he lived - in the barracks with
soldiers. His bed was separated from the others by a curtain. Then
he came to Brest. Maria and Semyon were leaving for the Kuril
Islands. I lived with them, and since they were leaving, I was left
with no place to live. But we were lucky and got a room next door.
Our son Grigory was born in 1949.

Our children

We enjoyed life. Although we had a baby and my husband was
finishing the 10th grade, we still found time to go dancing. In
1950 Vladimir got his school certificate and was admitted to the
Electrical Engineering Academy in Leningrad, so we moved there.
This was during the period of the notorious "Doctors' Case13,
but I only read about it in the newspapers. I felt no prejudiced
attitudes by others towards me. We were close friends with some
families of Vladimir's colleagues, and this friendship continues
until the present. We lived in Leningrad for five years. We rented
a part of a room, and shared this room with our landlady. There
were six other rooms and a kitchen in this apartment. There was a
long hallway, a toilet, two stoves in the kitchen and one sink -
all for 22 tenants! But we got along well and my landlady used to
say, "You shall have long memories of this lodging". In 1955 my
husband graduated from the Academy and got a job assignment in
Uzin, a town near Kiev. There were hardly any comforts, and these
were outside, and there were people of all nationalities living
there. But again, we all got along well. We celebrated birthdays
and Soviet holidays together, and neighbors never refused to baby-
sit when we had a chance to go to the cinema or the theater. We
still have few friends in Uzin. Vladimir was there from 1956 till
1965.

Our younger daughter, Ira, was born in 1957. Mama was always
willing to help me and visited us in Brest, Leningrad and Uzin. She
loved her grandson. She always brought him picture books as
presents and read them to him. Sometimes he stayed with her. In
1957 Mama married Miron, a Ukrainian. I don't remember his last
name. He worked as a loader at a store, or something similar.
Later, he was put in jail for something or other and Mama had a
nervous breakdown. I took Mama to the neurological department of
the hospital in Uzin. In 1960 doctors diagnosed cancer. She died
that same year during the surgery.

In 1965 my older son Grigory completed nine years at school
and my daughter finished her first year. Vladimir got an assignment
in Mozdok in Chechnya. I stayed in Uzin until the end of the
academic year. Then Vladimir came to pick us up and we moved to
Mozdok - he had an apartment there. Grigory finished school in this
town and was admitted to the Geology College in Leningrad. After
graduating, he got an assignment in Altai. There he met his future
wife, a Russian girl who is also a geologist. In 1974 their
daughter Elena was born. Later, his former co-students helped him
to find a job in Petrozavodsk. They moved to Petrozavodsk and in
1977 their son Vladimir was born. My grandson and granddaughter are
graduates of the Pedagogical Institute in Petrozavodsk. My
granddaughter lives and works in St. Petersburg and my grandson
lives in Israel. He finished a course of study in design. My
daughter Irina graduated from a Russian school in Kiev in 1974, and
then from Kiev Polytechnic Institute in 1977. She got married and
her family moved to Riga in 1979. Her husband is a pilot. She
works as a manager. They have two sons born in 1980 and 1986. One
of them, Roman, went to Israel in 1997 to study, and stayed there.
Igor studies at school in Riga. My daughter is quite content with
her life in Latvia - she speaks fluent Latvian and English and
finding a good job is no problem for her.

In 1975 my husband retired and we returned to Kiev. He
got a position as senior engineer at the "Vulcan" plant. In 1979
the doctors found out that he had a malignant tumor, but he got
well and found a job in a TV shop. We went to theater performances
and visited our friends in Uzin, or they visited us. We read
newspapers. We often had our four grandchildren staying with us for
quite a while. My husband always spent a lot of time with them. He
died in 1998.

My children do not identify themselves as Jews. Perhaps
it is so because we never celebrated Jewish holidays or observed
any of the Jewish traditions. But if I did want to have it all
done, I do believe that Vladimir wouldn't have had any objections.
I never gave much attention to such things. It's an individual that
is interesting, not his nationality. We had Russian and Ukrainian
friends and there was never an issue of nationality. We spoke
Russian, putting in some Yiddish words that we remembered since we
were young. I feel sorry that I've almost forgotten the language.
My children are very interested in everything related to Jewish
culture and follow the events in Israel. They've always been open
about their Jewish roots. My two grandchildren live in Israel, love
it and are proud of it.

My husband never favored the idea of emigration - he
cared too much about the place he lived, and I was with him in this
regard. Regretfully, I've never been to Israel, but I hope to visit
my grandchildren there some day and see the country of my
ancestors.

Glossary

1 In 1920s there were many anti-Semitic gangs in Ukraine

They killed
Jews and burnt their houses, they robbed their houses, raped women and
killed children.

2 Podol - was always considered and is presently considered by
the jewish region of Kiev

Before the war there lived 90% Jews.

3 In the Tsarist Russia the Jewish population was allowed to live
at certain areas

In Kiev Jews were allowed to live in Podol, the
lower and poorer part of the city.

4 In those years it was not safe to go to the synagogue

Those
were horrific 1930s - the period of struggle against religion.
There was only 1 synagogue left of 300 existing in Kiev before the
revolution of 1917. Cult structures were removed; rabbis, Orthodox
and Roman Catholic priests disappeared behind the KGB (State
security Committee) walls.

5 SIMON Petliura (1879-1926) , ukrainian politician

Member
Ukrainian social-democratic working party; In soviet-polish war has
emerged on the side of Poland; in 1920 emigrated. kill In Paris
from the revenge for jewish pogroms on the Ukraine.

6 Kiev power plant

7 22 June 1941 at 5 o'clock in the morning the fascist Germany
attacked the Soviet Unioun without declaring a war

On this day the
Great patriotic War began.

8 In the mid-1930s Stalin launched a major campaign of political
terror

The purges, arrests, and deportations to labor camps
touched virtually every family. Untold numbers of party,
industrial, and military leaders disappeared during the "Great
Terror". Indeed, between 1934 and 1938 two-thirds of the members of
the 1934 Central Committee were sentenced and executed.

9 Acronym that stands for "Death to the spies"

Security units in
the army.

10 Rabfak - educational institutions for the young people that
didn't have secondary education, established by the Soviet power

11 Artificial famine in Ukraine in 1920 that took away millions
of people

It was arraned to suppress the protesting peasants that
didn't want to join collective farms. 1930-1934 - the years of
dreadful forced famine in Ukraine. The authorities took away the
last food products from farmers. People were dying in the streets,
the whole villages were passing away. The authorities arranged this
specifically to suppress the rebellious farmers that didn't want to
accept the Soviet power and join the collective farms.

12 Babiy Yar is the site of the first mass shootings of the
Jewish population that was done in the open by the fascists on
September 29-30, 1941, in Kiev

13 «Doctors' Case» - was a set of accusations deliberately forged
by Stalin's government and KGB against Jewish doctors of the
Kremlin hospital charging them with murdering outstanding
Bolsheviks

The «Case» was started in 1952, but was never finished
in March 1953 after Stalin's death.
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